#helped me to become a better writer... & funny as it sounds in relation to tumblr lmaO i have! genuinely learned so much here

[hellomynameisbisexual]

Internalized biphobia, homophobia or transphobia is where you internally harbor hatred, fear or disbelief against how you identify. But this phobia can cause you a lot of struggle and pain because you may become so unsure of yourself. I don’t deal with internal biphobia well, but I’ve created some methods to help. I am sure some can adapted to help you with whatever you’re internally phobia-ing.

1) Engulf yourself in positivity

I know how patronizing positivity can be when you’re feeling down, but actually I have found some things that are really useful; even just on a daily basis to have these validate you and show how to cope with it better. So, first and foremost, read some of my articles. Although I write about my own experiences, I think that a lot of bi people could relate to my articles. So, reading a couple may help. Also, follow Bi-positivity on your social media. My Tumblr is just basically LGBTQ+ positivity or advice which a bit of scrolling through every day just helps to believe in myself. Some blogs I recommend on Tumblr are ‘Ask a Bisexual’, ‘Bi-Positive’, ‘Letters to lgbt kids’, ‘LGBT+ Positivity’, and my personal favorite ‘LGBT+ Moodboards’. These are always very good, take messages and reply as much as possible. Just make sure that you quickly scroll through any pages before following, there are some which advertise positivity but never prove it.

I also recommend a couple of YouTube channels. Melanie Murphy makes some lovely videos on sexuality and though they are rare, they are worth watching (link to latest one :https://www.youtube.com/watchv=POTYJD3quD8&index=1&list=PLEOdtoJghxaIes0rPtAfFQjspHop4QurJ5). Also, I love Rosie’s Bi-sexy series, where she talks about her bisexuality, often with her wife – Rose – who are always entertaining and relatable (link here: https://www.youtub2

e.com/watch?v=MKMUiAJqyJM).

2) Normalize Saying ‘Bisexual’ Out Loud

You need to get comfortable with saying it out loud. That’s something that you need to do so you can used to saying the word out loud when you talk to people. So, the way I like, and I have most certainly done, is come out to you, constantly, in the mirror. So, look at your reflection in the mirror, and come out. You’ll feel ridiculous and you’ll smile but look at the beautiful person reflected back, and concentrate on the fact that you are coming out to them. It makes it a bit easier to cope with if you do it. I did it so many times before I came out. And when I was in the bathroom in a café the day I came out, I looked at me in the mirror, and told her I was bi and out. It was a wonderful liberating moment to have – though it was in a slightly grubby café bathroom.

3) Positive Role Models

Have LGBTQ+ role models

Frankly, I don’t actually know many, I wish I knew of more but I’m not someone who knows lots about modern celebrities and such, so chances are you’re probably more aware of the ones that exist than I am. One I know of that is bi is Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day as my best friend is a huge fan of his. Though I don’t really have LGBTQ+ role models, I do pick idols that are supportive of the community and when my favorite singers perform at Pride events it is always great to watch the videos. Also, my favorite singer of all time is very supportive of the community, which shows through her fan base (seriously the amount of lesbians I know from twitter, as they are fans of hers, is just INSANE).

4) Find A Fellow Bi

Try and meet someone who is Bi and make friends. This can happen through joining LGBTQ+ groups, or through the internet on blogs and forums and such. But being able to talk to someone who understands completely how you feel is amazing. My best friend is the most fantastic supportive person ever, but she is very very straight, so she doesn’t understand this level of gay. However, I have been very lucky to find make a lovely friend who is also very bi, which gives us both a space in which to be open and talk about what we think and feel. She makes great recommendations for LGBTQ+ films and series on Netflix as she has such an incredible huge knowledge in LGBTQ+ entertainment and keeps urging me to watch all sorts of stuff. But honestly, if you give yourself a space in which to very unapologetically bi, it is just easier to have someone to re-affirm how valid your sexuality is.

5) Talking to Someone Else Entirely

If you’re feeling like you don’t want to talk to anyone in your life, it’s worth reaching out to organizations who are equipped to deal with people like you. One I definitely recommend is Samaritans. This is a charity that has trained volunteers to help people in all sorts of situations for a variety of reasons – mental health, sexuality, stress, anything that might be troubling. What they do is that they give you someone to talk to and to just talk about what’s going on. You must keep in mind that they are unable to give you advice – it is not fair for them to help you, as all they know is what you say, and you don’t even have to tell them your name. I have actually rung up before, at a time where I was dealing with the return of some dark thoughts from when I was struggling with my sexuality, and I spoke to very kind old man (who sounded like Ian McKellan) who really helped me see things in perspective simply by giving me someone to speak to. He actually ever so slightly broke the rules by telling me that he is gay himself but he wanted me to know that he understood what I was feeling. Honestly, it’s worth it to just to talk things out – I have found that this is the best way for me and if you don’t believe anyone can help you, maybe you just need a different outlook.

Contact Samaritans: Phone – 116 123 (UK) [116 123 (ROI)] OR Email- [email protected]

OR Freepost RSRB-KKBY-CYJK, PO Box 9090, STIRLING, FK8 2SA

6) Listen to this song on repeat. And don’t stop.

Yes, this comes from the fact that I have been binge watching Crazy Ex-Girlfriend religiously for the past week. It is realistic and funny and well worth watching. Also, if you bear with for about half of series one, you get great Bi representation. On a lot of programs you get someone who obviously swings both ways, but the writers will claim they “don’t like labels”. Well, this show has an entire story line for one of the main characters, divorcing their opposite sex partner, discovering their bisexuality, dating the same gender, AND singing a song which debunks myths about Bisexuality. It also gives you a pun to use when someone asks how things are. Tell them you’re Getting’ BI!

#bi tumblr #bisexuality #bi #lgbtq community #bisexuality is valid #bi pride #support bisexuality #lgbtq #lgbtq pride #pride #biphobic #biphopia #bisexual nation #bisexual education #bisexual love #bisexual #bisexual community #support bisexual people #respect bisexual people #bisexual positivity #bisexual psa #bisexual people need love too #self love #bisexual pride

[best-enemies]

For the fandom ask meme thing can I request the whole damn alphabet or is that not very cash money of me? I’m nosy lmao I wanna know all of them!

AHDKAJSDKJAHSKDA JACK YOU’RE THE BEST

A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)

I’ve had my current OTP for like almost 8 years and it’s, obviously, Thoschei (Doctor/Master). My other current obsession is the Gallifrey OT4 hehehe

B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind

It’s funny because I didn’t ship Hannigram at first... I’d thought the idea of a cannibal having a relationship was terrifying because what if they had sex and Hannibal got hungry in the middle of the act? Lmaoooo 

But yeah they’re my endgame now. I watched the show when it first aired and I was about 14/15 years old so now you see why I thought that. Although I’m still afraid I’m gonna be reading a fic and Hannibal will suddendly bite Will’s dick off or smth AKJHSAKJSAHSASKAJ

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will (be nice)

Uhhh Doctor/Clara. Mainly because I don’t like to ship the Doctor with companions (there may be one or two exceptions but I don’t ship them enough to actually say I ship them lol) and I don’t know I just never vibed with it

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t (again: be nice)

Doctor/River. I mean, I did like it for a while years ago but now it’s just... eh. I think she has a waaay better chemistry with the 12th Doctor, but still don’t ship it. I might give it a try once I listen to the River audios but so far meh. I’m not much of a multishipper anyway.

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what

God. I’ve written a couple of Academy Era (focused on the Deca) crack fanfics and I still have to translate them to English. They’re pure garbage but I love them. I have a lot of fun writing crack fics because they’re easier and I can ignore whatever piece of canon I want just for the laughs

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom

Guess it’s Doctor Who, been here (in and out of the fandom) for over 8/9 years

G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it

Uhhhh I think it was Han Solo and Leia, since I was a kid really. I wanted to marry both of them lol

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., tv shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)

I had to google what a source text is and still don’t know

I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why

I don’t think so, but Twitter definitively has. I remember a couple years ago I was curious to see what voltron was about and watched a few episodes, it was ok, fun and cute but the fandom was so annoying I stopped watching it for good and don’t care about it enough to pick it up again

J - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr

I had definitively forgotten about supernatural until I saw it all over my dashboard in the year of our lord 2020 lmao like in my wholock days I tried to watch the show because everyone on my dash (is it still called dashboard?) was talking about it and I watched about 8 episodes before dropping it. But seeing it again on the dash was actually a happy surprise because the memes are too funny hahaha

K -Say something nice about someone in any of your fandoms

I’m extremely shy irl and on the internet as well but I wanna say that  @janeturenne is one of the best authors ever and her fanfics are a blessing in my life; also @thebraxiatelcollection who brings awesome content to my dash and is also one of the best authors. And of course, you, Jack, also one of the best authors god I’m so BLESSED

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves (chars you’re neutral on are fair game, as are chars you dislike)

Uhhh I guess I’m neutral about the current companions. They’re not my favorites but I don’t really dislike them - they had a lot of potential and chibs came up with some good storylines but did not develop them well in my opinion. I think Graham is a fun grandpa whom I’m going to miss when he leaves; Ryan is cool and could’ve done a lot more if the writers had kept a few things, it’d be awesome if he vlogged all of their adventures. He’s like the one I was curious to see more but sadly didn’t feel a connection; and Yaz, I hope she’ll keep growing and that her friendship with the Doctor will finally be developed to a level we can connect to her.

It sounds weird because with the fam it’s always ‘what I wish could have been’ because I never felt really connected to them :(

M - Say something genuinely nice about a ship that you don’t ship (or its shippers, or anything related to you)

Ok... I don’t really ship Rey/Finn but I think it’s one of the sweetest ships ever, and if they ended up together I’d be happy. They love each other and are there for each other always so, yeah :D

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)

I don’t know if I got the question right but it’s three things I wish I saw more in my main fandom? Well, if it’s that, then, 3 things about the Doctor Who fandom: 1) people having more civilized or light-hearted discussions about things. Like, I genuinely disliked an 8th doctor audio I listened once that my friends loved, and they made fun of me and we joked about it. Also once we were in a live twitch video playing among us and discussing doctor who, and then we got into a ship “discourse” as a joke and nobody really cared and just laughed because everyone knew it’s fictional shit so why get mad over it? 2) Doctor Who has a titanic amount of content, it’s all canon but at the same time it’s not, so who cares? If you want to listen to Big Finish audios and if you can afford it, then lisiten; if you can’t, it’s okay, no one has the right to tell you you’re less of a fan. Just tell them to fuck off; 3) The best way to keep fandom alive is by creating content. Here in my local fandom we have several podcasts dedicated to all areas of the whoniverse (the show, the expanded universe, the audios, etc), those old fandom websites who do serious work to bring news to the fans, people who make subtitles for the classic series (we don’t have it available here so they do their best to make it accessible to other fans), accounts dedicated to promoting dr who fans who create content, and we even have people making their own audiodramas with dw characters and writing book-lenght fanfiction to help explain the show to people who’ve never watched it, and a great variety of things. I’ve seen a few of these things in the international fandom, mostly by older fans, so I wish younger fans about my age who have the means to make this kind of stuff would make it too. Maybe there’d be less twitter drama out there lol

O - Choose a song at random, which ship or character does it remind you of

“the killing moon” by echo & the bunnymen reminds me of thoschei. yep it was totally random

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)

The fact that we don’t have a pride and prejudice AU for brax/romana yet is driving me insane

Q - A ship you’ve abandoned and why

I’ve mentioned it before but doctor/river, don’t really remember why idk I just don’t vibe with it anymore. But also because thoschei has so many different pairings in 1 ship that I don’t really feel the need to ship them with anyone else lol

R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships

GOD I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT’S SO SPECIFIC ok fellow academy era stans gather around if you have read Divided Loyalties there’s a scene where it SHOWS that Magnus had a crush on Ushas. And NO ONE HAS EVER TALKED ABOUT THEM and the power couple they would’ve made. I write them into all my fanfics in hopes of making other people ship them but I’ve had no success so far

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

The Master is a big fan of musicals and in the 77 years he spent on earth he watched every single one ever. I’m gonna be bold and say that when he was young, still Koschei, he was an artist, and thought about dropping everything to become an actor on Gallifrey. Time Lords do appreciate art, and have their own plays, but it’s just the same old and boring ones the young people don’t care about. The Master then created a shocking performance that was way ahead of its time and the older Time Lords were so appalled they banned him from writing and presenting plays and that’s his villain origin story

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything)

1) The Doctor and the Master married on Gallifrey and the entire show is just them having the most litigious divorce in the universe (still isn’t final because the Master has killed all the judges); 2) Ushas/The Rani is ace; 3) The Deca was a 10 people polyamorous relationship; 4) Romana and Livia were girlfriends at the Academy and they hate each other now because the break up was baad; 5) Romana writes fanfiction; 6) Romana/Leela had a thing in Davidia I KNOW it; 7) Leela pegs Narvin; 8) Brax has a life-size painting of Romana at his collection or a statue or smth; 9) Brax’s dream in Reborn is actually REAL and he’s married to Romana, Leela and Narvin all at the same time

U - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms

I don’t even think I’m in 5 fandoms but

Doctor Who: The Master, The Doctor, Romana, Leela, Sarah Jane, Bill (this was the hardest thing ever)

The X-Files: Mulder, Scully, Monica, and can I add The Lone Gunmen too?

Star Wars: Leia, Obi-Wan, Finn, Poe Dameron and honorable mention to Din Djarin and Grogu

Hannibal: Hannibal, Will, Bev, Alana, Chiyoh

V - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms

That’s hard

Doctor Who: thoschei ofc, gallifrey ot4.......... uuhh as you can see i don’t ship many pairings in the show

The X-Files: Mulder and Scully. And whatever Scully and Monica had going on because they definitively flirted

Star Wars: Poe/Finn, Han/Leia, whatever Han/Lando had going on too

W - 5 favorite ships and 5 kinks you like best for said ships

WHATVASHAJSKAJSA ok this is a little embarassing but I don’t have a lot of kinks for many ships... I guess I have some for thoschei like, choking, whipping, blindfolds/gagging, bondage, begging, biting, sem-public, phone sex, dirty talk, body worship, praise kink, etc. Alright alright I know it’s a lot but in my defense they've shown half of these on the show

X - top 5-10 characters who are yoUR PRECIOUS BABIES AND YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING THEM

The Master, Romana, Leela, Brax, Narvin, Bill Potts, Martha Jones, Sarah Jane, Donna Noble, Lucie Miller. No particular order for most of them but the Master is my precious baby and I will die for this mf

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)

Not many, usually the people I follow are in the same fandoms as I am but I’ve seen some mutuals reblog some Hadestown stuff which is a play that I’ve never seen but definitively would because the protagonists look hot 

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go (prompts optional but encouraged)

I DON’T KNOW WHAT DOES IT MEAN

it took me three hours to do this but it was fun!! thank you bb <3

[afriendtokilltime]

Okay, fine. Let’s talk about parasocial relationships.

The term “parasocial” has been making the rounds as a very very smart sounding thing to say. It not only establishes that you know an unusual and complex word, but also that you are too smart to fall for marketing tactics, and that you are much too cool to show enthusiasm for anything!

So, what’s a parasocial relationship? It’s a one-sided relationship with a celebrity or fictional character--the entire relationship takes place in your head. You’re reading this on tumblr, which means you have lots of parasocial relationships. You’re very parasocially popular! Maybe you even have one with me. (Probably not, I stopped posting for a long time, so we probably don’t parasocially know one another at all.)

I first encountered this term being used as an inherently bad thing, something to avoid, as though the term referred to the negative version of itself. What I saw was not people explaining why it can be harmful, but speaking as if we all know it is (the way you’d use “alcoholism”).

I see people carefully watching themselves to make sure they aren’t engaging in a “parasocial relationship,” or referring to a behavior they don’t like as “borderline parasocial relationship behavior.” But, there is no such thing as “relationship behavior” other than closing the psychological distance between yourself and another person. “Parasocial relationship behavior” is doing this, but it’s one-sided. You get closer, and they do not. That’s it. That’s the only thing. Does that mean building a shrine to Kristen Stewart? Does it mean crying with joy at Hbomberguy’s Mermaids/Donkey Kong stream? Does it mean writing a 100k fanfiction about Hermione Granger, Vampire Slayer? Does it mean buying a David Bowie CD? Does it mean begging the show writers to finally make that queerbaity relationship canon? Does it mean killing the president? You decide! 

Becoming psychologically closer to people and characters is not inherently unhealthy, whether they know who you are or not. How you treat them and respond to that closeness, and how they choose to cultivate closeness, can of course be unhealthy...but so can reciprocal relationships.

What’s weird to me is that we generally seem to be aware that there are bad and good (healthy and unhealthy) relationships. I have a good relationship with @randomshoes because we support each other, are interested in each others’ success, spend quality time together, and communicate well. If I was to stalk her or kill a president for her, or if she was to abuse my trust and take all my money while falsely assuring me she loved me, our relationship would be somewhat less healthy. 

So, what’s so bad about parasocial relationships?

They don’t actually care about you and they are taking your money.

If a marketing team/a celebrity uses these relationships to prey on vulnerable people, that might be an abusive relationship...in the other direction. If I manipulate a friend I know out of her money, I’m the bad guy, right? But if I’m famous, and she’s 16, and I knowingly manipulate her out of her money, then she’s the bad guy, because teenage girls are dumb and they should feel bad for ever liking anything, forming identities, feeling attraction, or basically being uncool and childish in any way.

It is definitely a good idea to remember that transactions are a part of how art is usually consumed, and not to express your affection or deep identification with an art/artist by spending lots of money on tee shirts that depict them. However, even this type of interaction can be encouraged in a healthy, positive way.  Patreon seems to really make people mad, but it’s not the worst system for artists who Live in A Society and don’t happen to have any lembas laying around. “I’ll pretend to love you so you can make me a millionaire” seems kinda gross but “I appreciate that your support helps me continue making the art you love” kinda sorta does not.

Some people go too far and commit heinous crimes because they expect their parasocial affections to be reciprocated.

Those crimes would be heinous even in an already reciprocal relationship. (I  already mentioned this, but if I committed terrorism for my very real girlfriend who knows exactly who I am, that would probably make me no better or worse than Hinkley.)

You’re an isolated loser and need real friends.

Okay. Anybody pouring all their energy into one relationship is probably not doing life correctly, regardless of how parasocial that relationship is. But this is a point on which I simply do not agree. People engage in these behaviors regardless of how wide their friend circle is. If not with celebrities, then with fictional characters, or even historical or political figures (think more “little father” than “senator” though what you do with that Bernie Sanders picture in your room is between you and God). Oh speaking of God, relationships with religious figures might arguably have some similarities and speak to the same human tendency, but there is of course the difference that Justin Bieber doesn’t know who TF you are, but God does.

Uh, sorry, you didn’t address my point. Forming parasocial relationships stops you developing real relationships.

I actually think it encourages reciprocal socialization. I didn’t have many friends growing up. When I met two other kids who were obsessed with Harry Potter, we bonded over that, making up our own characters (next generation type of BS...still better than the book 7 epilogue), and this formed the basis of a friendship that lasted basically my entire pubescence. These parasocial relationships are generally part of a broader interest, and interests and hobbies help you meet people, break the ice, and uhm...form real relationships.

It’s not just interests, though. I was hardcore into dinosaurs as a kid. Literally every child likes dinosaurs, but that didn’t help me form any new friendships. The other reason I think parasocial relationships lead to better real relationships is...practice. You are engaging in social behaviors, whether or not you’re any good at them, whether or not you succeed. This is what’s required to learn any new skill, but it’s generally discouraged.

You don’t just learn about how to socialize, you also learn about yourself. You develop a sense of identity and learn what you like and dislike by associating yourself with favorite characters.

Children and teens often imitate their behaviors, and though that can be a bit annoying (why yes I do have the Spanish Inquisition sketch memorized but thanks for repeating it to make sure I got it), it also helps them figure out what kind of people they want to be (maybe you want to be funny, so you over time learn that what made Monty Python so funny was surprise, surprise and fear, and you develop comedic timing). Knowing what kind of person you want to be is important.

Right, but it’s selfish. You keep calling it “one sided” which it literally is. There’s no checks on your behavior.

Right. I think that’s good, though? I think it’s good for people to sometimes do selfish things. I think it’s good to cultivate parasocial relationships because they are a way to self-soothe, and get your own needs met, without burdening others. We are social creatures, and we absolutely need relationships, but nobody owes you a relationship. Nobody owes you affection or love. Having a way to cultivate that for yourself is actually incredibly valuable.

It’s worth commenting here that I think my strongest parasocial relationships are probably with characters I’ve made up myself. They are “a part of me” in that they are always there in my life, but unlike some writers, I do not base characters on myself or see them as reflecting specific parts of me. I relate to them in the same way I relate to Harry Potter, except that I was the one who made them up initially, and books I write about them can be published and I can make money off them. (On some theoretical plane of existence.) It’s pretty clear that I am the one doing all the work on both sides of this particular parasocial relationship, but it doesn’t feel super different to me than the fact I very intensely relate to certain characters not made up by me. I don’t conceive myself dating one of them, like I don’t have a Dorothy L. Sayers thing going on, but I don’t really think it would be wrong if I did.

What do you mean not being a burden on others? What about toxic fans putting pressure on creators?

Yeah...that’ll be in the “unhealthy relationship” category. But, okay, I guess where I am ending up here is I do think it’s good to recognize parasocial relationships exist and talk about them, because it reminds you that even if a relationship is not reciprocal, you do have responsibilities. If the other person is real, that means they are only human, and even if you have no choice but to stan, you should give them some breathing space. The Shinji Ikari ContraPoints in my head can be my super close friend, but if I expect the real Natalie Wynn to give me any more energy than she already does to her entire audience by making the awesome videos I enjoy so much, I’d be really rude, demanding, and honestly not worthy of her friendship if it was “real.”

Parasocial relationships are relationships which means, just like with reciprocal ones, you have to not be a dick. You have to respect the other person and recognize they are a human being separate from you. Even with characters, Harry Potter can’t be hurt by anything weird and demanding you do, but Rowling could, and so could other HP fans, so respect is still important. If it’s not already clear, I strongly disagree with people who suggest fanfiction is disrespectful, so.

If you understand that your relationship is abstracted, and that you do not deserve any kind of reward for all the energy and love that you pour into it...then enjoy your parasocial relationship, because it is absolutely normative, human, and can bring great joy and meaning into your life. In fact, almost all of what I just said applies to reciprocal relationships, too.

#parasocial relationships #fandom #fanfiction #relationships #I have some more thoughts probably but here are these ones

[nadziejastar]

@Disney and SQ: Make LeaIsa canon u cowards. They had so much chemistry and history it would be make sense.

Saïx and Axel’s Fascinating, Complex, Beautiful and Extremely Well-Written Relationship

Write more about LeaIsa? Don’t mind if I do. YES! It’s such an underrated relationship, probably because of how poorly it was treated in canon. I would pay so much money to see it actually done justice in canon. And I rarely get invested in fictional ships to this degree. You’re right about their history together. It’s another reason I like LeaIsa so much. It’s the only Lea ship that I saw any evidence for. Axel’s relationship with Saïx is so unlike any other relationship in the series. I just found it so complex, unique, compelling, and mature in the way it was written. Seriously, it’s one of the most touching fictional relationships I’ve ever seen. And it’s written with such subtlety.

The writers force you to read between the lines, instead of spelling everything out for you. That made it even better, since it never once felt cheesy or forced. But with almost everyone I’ve talked to outside of Tumblr, the importance of Saïx and Axel’s relationship went right over their head. One person I talked to even said that the introduction of their past friendship felt pointless; simply an excuse to give Axel more “drama” in Days. Which was sad for me to hear.

It’s why I am so bitter that this relationship got shafted by the story as badly as it did. It’s such an insult to everything the writers accomplished. Unfortunately, I know many people in real life who would…not react well if they found out that Axel loved another male.

I can’t help but think that was a factor in why their relationship was handled so poorly, even platonically. It’s just so stupid to me, though. What a waste. It’s such a shame that stuff like this happens when creators try to step outside the box with their characters. There’s a real lack of healthy male/male intimacy in fiction, especially when it’s handled with actual maturity. It’s why I loved the KH2 ending with Sora and Riku so much. But hey, I still give gotta them credit for trying and almost succeeding.

As much as I loved the Roxas/Axel/Xion friendship, it was clear that Axel was the “dad” of the group. He was only half-joking about babysitting them. I feel even more strongly about this now than I did when I first played these games. It’s been 10 years since I first played Days and now I’m a bit closer to Axel in age than Roxas, lol. I don’t think Lea’s story could have ended truly happily unless he had another adult around him that he was close to.

Lea: In memories, you live forever, you know?

Isa: Well, you may be a really small part of my memories, but at least you’ll never disappear.

Lea: I’m SO flattered.

Isa: You’re such a pain.

I agree that they had a LOT of chemistry during their interactions. What I liked about Isa was that he was an equal to Lea. Someone his own age. He gave us an opportunity to see how Lea would interact with someone he could relate to as a peer, instead of as a mentor. Plus Isa was said to be very smart and mature for his age, which is probably why he didn’t seem to have many friends. And Lea was definitely much more on the intellectual/philosophical side compared to someone like Roxas or Sora.

He was a 15-year-old who talked about wanting to live forever in people’s memory, after all. I think that’s why Isa liked him so much. He was outgoing, very friendly, and smart, to boot. He’s the whole package. I used the Japanese translation for that scene since it made them seem even more flirtatious. I found way Lea joked with Isa to be so…cute. He just never smiled or acted that way with anyone else.

And I felt the same way when Isa smiled during that scene. I could tell he admired Lea’s outlook on life. He likes how he wants to make every interaction with others meaningful. He probably feels the same way, though he has a harder time showing it. Isa obviously does not have many people that he feels comfortable opening up to. I always got the feeling that Lea was very special to him. I don’t have trouble believing that Isa was intended to sacrifice himself for Lea. Not at all.

Roxas: I found out about love on today’s mission–that it’s something powerful.

Axel: That’s true. It is. But I’ll never get to experience it.

Besides, you don’t just give a character dialogue like this, and then NOT have them find true love. I mean, come on now.

Riku: Heh, I sometimes envy how simple your world is.

Sora: Is…that a compliment?

Riku: I envy whatever makes you think it could be.

Sora: Gee, thanks.

Isa and Lea had a somewhat similar dynamic to Riku and Sora. One was an introvert and the other was way more extroverted. I loved seeing the effect Sora had on Riku. It was very sweet. But no offense to Sora…Lea and Isa gave me the impression that they were much more intellectual equals, compared to him and Riku. I doubt you would ever see conversations like this between them, for instance. So for me, they struck a perfect balance. They were opposites, but still very similar.

It was such a sincere question that Axel barely swallowed a laugh. The evidence was right there; Roxas wouldn’t be thinking of anything else.

“’Cos you’re relatively simple,” Axel replied. “Well, most Nobodies are.”

Despite being the “cheerful” one, Lea’s world was anything but simple. He’s not unfailingly optimistic and he has a very prominent dark side. He might make friends very easily, but I could tell that he had a strong desire to form very deep emotional connections that are rare and don’t come easily. So Lea and Isa complemented each other very well.

“It’s just… I’ve always wondered why we’re here, on this island. If there are other worlds out there, why did we end up on this one?”

Now I think it was because we had to be there to meet each other. And if this really is the end of all the worlds, I don’t mind fading out here.

“If the world is made of light and darkness…we can be the darkness.”

Beside him, Sora looked at the sea and idly stretched his legs. “Yeah. The other side, the realm of light…it’s safe now. Kairi and the king and the others are there.”

Even without us, the worlds will be okay, he thought as he gazed at the horizon. I don’t mind becoming part of the darkness, if I’m with Riku.

I still love Sora, though. No matter how many Disney worlds he went to, he never forgot Riku. I’m sure Isa was envious at times of Lea’s ability to instantly make friends with everyone. Isa only came out of his shell around Lea. He doesn’t get close to people easily. I’m sure he had as many insecurities as Riku had, if not more. He probably was clingy, even. But I doubt Lea would mind. I’m sure that he felt like no matter how many friends he made, he could have deeper conversations with a shy introvert like Isa than he could with anyone else.

Axel: Nothing lasts forever, man. Least of all for a bunch of Nobodies. But you know, we’ll still have each other…even if things change and we can’t do this anymore.

Roxas: Yeah?

Axel: As long as we remember each other, we’ll never be apart. Got it memorized?

Roxas: Ha ha, wow, Axel. That sounded ridiculous.

Axel: What? I thought it was pretty deep.

To me, Axel always came across as extremely intelligent, with a lot of inner depth and complexity. But he always kept his true feelings bottled up inside.

Roxas grinned. “Who are you, and what have you done with Axel?”

“Hey! I tried, okay?” All that effort to cheer them up, and they just turned it into a punch line. Chagrined, he looked away.

Xion burst into giggles, and then, as if it was contagious, Roxas started laughing, too.

“Oh, c’mon, it’s not that funny!” Axel scolded.

They paused, looked at each other, and giggled again.

“I don’t know why I put up with this…”

In the novel, he actually was pretty hurt and embarrassed during that scene, because he was being 100% serious.

Pence: Do you guys think we’ll always be together like this?

Olette: I sure hope so.

Hayner: Huh? Where did that come from?

Pence: Oh, well, you know. Just thinking out loud.

Hayner: Well, I doubt we can be together forever. But isn’t that what growing up’s all about? What’s important isn’t how often we see each other, but how often we think about each other. Right?

Pence: Get that off a fortune cookie?

Hayner: That’s it, no more ice cream for you!

Of course, I found it interesting how Roxas was later put in such a similar position to Axel. All these things happening to him that he can’t talk about with his friends. Being told he was never supposed to existand entering an existential crisis. The time when he would relate to Axel the most is when he doesn’t even remember him.

But to address the main topic of this post, I must say: Axel and Saïx’s whole relationship in the novels is just so excellent. I always liked it in the games, but the novels made me appreciate it on a whole new level. I was reading them for the first time a while ago, and I swear, I couldn’t help but pick up VERY strong romantic vibes between Axel and his memories of Isa. It’s not that I was looking for it, either. I wasn’t. It just really, really jumped out at me.

“Well, I think you can be inseparable, even if you’re apart,” said Axel.

Roxas and Xion shared a look.

“…Even if you’re apart,” Roxas murmured.

They trailed off, and this time Axel finished his ice cream. So he started talking again. “It’s like, if you feel really close to each other. Like best friends.”

Followed by…

“Love is what happens when there’s something really special between people.”

“More special than friends? Like…if they’re best friends? Inseparable?”

“Well, you can care about your friends, but that’s not exactly it…” Axel paused, groping for words that might make sense to Roxas.

“So it’s a step above best friends?”

“No—it’s not about steps.”

The wording was just so…intentional. Axel was obviously thinking about Isa when he was talking about best friends being inseparable, even when they’re apart. And he was obviously thinking about Isa when he said that as long as he has memories, he’d never have to be apart from anyone. Then Roxas uses the exact same words when he asks him about love. There was no way it was just a coincidence.

I was like, “Am I crazy, or are the writers trying to imply that Lea was in love with Isa?” Then I read the rest of the novel, and I’m like, “Damn, I guess they really are”. I swear, the novels are what totally convinced me that the writers genuinely viewed them as a romantic pairing. And then when I looked at the 358/2 Days weapons, I was like, “Okay, I guess I’m not crazy after all.”

I am working on a meta about the symbolism of Luxord’s Tarot cards. It’s just…incredible how the Fool’s Journey that’s depicted in those cards, follows Axel and Saïx’s character arcs so perfectly. There was so much care put into that relationship. I’m sure that the Tarot cards had meaning for everyone’s else’s weapons and character arcs, as well. But since we never actually get to learn that much about the other Organization members, it’s harder to interpret whatever meaning they have. There was more than enough with Saïx and Axel to read between the lines and see a whole arc. But Marluxia and Vexen? Eh, not so much.

“You mean I can’t talk to you unless I want something?”

“I didn’t mean that, but it’s—” a hassle. But if I say that, it looks like she’ll make it even more of a hassle. Axel shut his mouth. “Why are you talking to me? There are heaps of other people to talk to.”

“I don’t want to talk to rough old men,” Larxene clearly intoned.

“If that’s so—there’s Demyx, or Marluxia, who joined just before you did. And then there’s Zexion. There’s also Saïx, in a way—”

I found it interesting how Axel related to women. He talks about how you can’t push the wrong buttons with girls. Larxene touches his face in Re:CoM and his reaction is so annoyed. And then there’s the way he reacts when she flirts with him in the novel. Yeah, I know Larxene is a bitch and that really doesn’t prove anything. But those scenes felt like they were meant to show how Axel just isn’t interested in women that way. Also I like how he says, “in a way” when he refers to Saïx. Well, I guess he is young at least. However, while we’re on that subject…

Demyx: Who’s ready for a vacation? I’m ready for a vacation.

Axel: Saïx only gives days off when he’s in a good mood. Which is never.

…I found Axel’s dynamic with Saïx so fascinating due to their shared history. Saïx always has the most dead, lifeless expressions on his face. I think it hurt Axel deeply to see how miserable he was all the time. Axel must have assumed his condition was the result of the trauma caused by the experiments and losing his heart. After all, Nobodies typically have the same basic personality they had as humans. And Isa was not cold and robotic.

Indeed, Axel is all too aware of Saïx’s total emotional emptiness and he’s rather introspective about the whole issue. He reflects on it rather frequently in the novels.

“Shouldn’t you already be out on your mission, Axel?” Saïx interrupted.

Mission? Saïx hadn’t given him his assignment yet. Axel blinked up at him, and Saïx stared back.

Oh. Axel felt a little bit sorry for Saïx and his inability to lie.

Saïx can’t even fake emotion enough to tell convincing lies. At least Axel can do that much. He genuinely feels sorry for him.

In a way, Saïx put more effort than any of them into pretending he had a heart, Axel thought. And yet, he was more lacking than any of them.

Here too. Saïx is more lacking than any of them. He’s the only one who was turned into a vessel against his will, so he can’t just nurture a new heart like everyone else.

After watching them go, Axel stretched and turned to Saïx, expecting to see a scowl. But the expression had left Saïx’s face, leaving him as dispassionate as usual.

Of course, he had been faking it in the first place. Nobodies had no hearts; they only imitated what emotions they remembered. The very proof of their emptiness showed how desperately they each longed for a heart.

Axel probably did the same thing himself without noticing, and yet, for some reason, when Saïx did it—or actually, any of the others—it seemed so out of place.

None of the others in the Organization were that bad, though. They all had personalities and didn’t have to try so hard to fake one. And we know that they could grow hearts.

Saïx had no time for all these deliberately oblique remarks from Xigbar. “Nonsense. I see no problem whatsoever.”

Xigbar only laughed louder. “Pa-ha-ha! No, apparently you don’t!”

“Something you find amusing?”

“Oh, the things you hear from a guy with no heart,” Xigbar said through his hilarity.

None of us have hearts, Saïx was about to remind him, when Xemnas spoke again.

All except Saïx. No, he was unique, even among Nobodies.

He’d never deluded himself that tracking down Riku would be easy, and neither had Saïx. It was just that if he went back and reported that he couldn’t find anything, he would have to deal with those attempts at “personality”—the sneers, the snide remarks, the only trappings of human emotion that Saïx ever showed.

He tries so hard to have a “personality” that it’s actually very unsettling for Axel to witness. Yet, it was the only human emotions he ever showed. Because he’s nothing but an extension of Xehanort, with no heart of his own. He literally can’t connect with anyone or experience any emotion other than flat, numb, dispassionate misery.

“Don’t let us down now, kiddo. Shouldn’t be too much trouble without a heart,” Xigbar told Saïx.

Saix was a very tragic character. He became the way he is when he was just a kid, too. This is thrown in our face time and time again, so I was extremely surprised at the direction they took with his character in KH3. It made absolutely NO sense whatsoever.

In a room made of white marble, a large mirror reflected Demyx as he prepared to leave for the mission. He took particular care with his hairstyle, painstakingly manipulating the brown strands with a comb to make them stand straight up.

Saïx observed him from behind with what appeared to be distaste. In stark contrast to Demyx, Saïx left his long blue hair unstyled. The X-shaped scar on his forehead was all the style he needed.

“What d’you want? I’m kinda busy.” Irritated, Demyx turned around.

Instead of responding, the other man simply disappeared.

“Excuse me?!” Demyx shouted at the space where Saïx had been standing.

I doubt Saïx had any clue how uncomfortable he made Demyx. He just didn’t have the emotional capacity to pick up on things like that.

“No… Kingdom Hearts…” He opened his arms, bathed in the moonlight. “Where is my heart…?”

He dissolved into dark mist and faded from existence.

I don’t think Saïx was really Isa, and I think his and Axel’s relationship was very unhealthy, obviously. BUT. Axel thought Saïx was Isa and tried to relate to him as such. And that tells you a few things. Axel clearly thought of Saïx as someone who could understand his pain in a way nobody else could. And Saïx was a pretty miserable character. Even Sora couldn’t help but feel sorry for him when he called out for his heart. And back then, Sora thought Nobodies weren’t even capable of feeling anything. Yet, other than Axel, Saïx was the only Organization member whose disappearance left him genuinely sad.

All of it disgusted him. Saïx looked up at the skyscrapers, tracking Axel’s presence. He wanted a heart more than anything. But what could he do to get one? Here he was, yearning for a heart so badly, while Axel had managed to gain one without doing anything at all.

The blue-haired man had been the very first to join the organization after the founding members. He should have been special. The way number 13—Roxas, wielder of the Keyblade—was special. Axel was not. And yet…He remembered what the witch Naminé had said.

Axel seemed lonely. The man himself had denied it, but she was absolutely right. Axel was lonely. He’d lost Roxas.

Lonely. Didn’t that mean he had a heart? How had he gained one? Why only him? Was it an effect of his contact with the boy, or was there something else at work? He had no idea…

Saïx was jealous of Axel…but not quite in the way KH3 depicted. He was jealous of his ability to grow a heart. He was jealous that Axel even had the capacity to feel the loneliness of losing a friend. Saïx yearned for a heart more than anything. I can’t think of a single reason he would willingly join the Organization after being re-completed. It’s not even possible to describe how out-of-character that was.

Saïx collapsed to his knees. “Ngh— How much longer…?” He groaned through clenched teeth. “Kingdom Hearts… Will your strength never be mine?”

I think Roxas felt sorry for him too, after his defeat. He had the perfect opportunity to take him out, but he didn’t. He couldn’t. There’s no way Roxas was capable of taking out someone so utterly pitiable. Roxas just stares at him for a few seconds, dismisses his Keyblade, and moves on in silence.

“I feel bad for you, too,” she told him.

“What are you talking about?” Saïx towered over Naminé.

“You haven’t even noticed yet…that you have a heart.”

Several Nobodies emerged from a rift out of the corridors.

“A heart? I have a heart? No one wants your nonsense!” Saïx raised his sword over Naminé—but Riku was there with Soul Eater to intercept the blow.

“Hmph. I don’t have time for these games.” Darkness welled from a rift behind Saïx. “Run along and help your dear hero.”

With that, he disappeared.

“Are you all right?” Riku helped Naminé to her feet.

“Now I understand…,” she murmured.

“Naminé…? You understand what?”

She was silent for a moment and quietly shook her head as she stood. “It’s nothing. We have to find Kairi.”

Naminé felt sorry for him, too. Of course, she seemed to realize that his situation was unique and even worse than the other Nobodies. His heart was in Xehanort’s clutches. Saïx was genuinely anguished by what she said, though.

Maybe she had been sent away somewhere on a long-term mission, like Axel at Castle Oblivion.

But…asking about Axel seemed to put Saïx in such a foul mood, Roxas couldn’t bring himself to inquire after Xion.

I think Saïx was still subconsciously influenced by Isa’s captured heart, making him feel even more hollow and empty. I think that’s what forgetting his “true purpose” was all about.

“You made it back in one piece, didn’t you?”

Were you worried I wouldn’t? Axel almost said, but he didn’t want to deal with putting him in an even fouler mood. Disgust and rage seemed to linger closest to the surface of Saïx’s memories.

But ultimately, what we saw in 358/2 Days is this: Axel always empathized with Saïx, no matter how unlikable he was. Especially in the novels, he always exhibits profound empathy, patience, and understanding towards him. Their relationship is nothing like how it was portrayed in KH3. It was honestly so sad to see how badly Axel wanted to connect with him—to have things be like they were before. He was desperate to find any evidence that Saïx still cared about him.

He didn’t look at Saïx, but he did have one thing to say.

“Keep your mouth shut.”

Roxas had never heard him speak so coldly to anyone before.

Saïx made no reply.

The one time Axel loses his patience and confronts Saïx in anger, it hurt him more than it hurt Saïx. Axel couldn’t even look at him. But Saïx never acts hurt or offended after this scene. He’s just angry that Axel won’t listen to him. He couldn’t care less if Axel insults him, as long as he’s compliant and their plans remain unchanged.

But his voice was still oddly low. Running into Saïx had brought out a different side of him—and that side was a little scary.

Something just felt wrong about it—Axel was putting distance between himself and Saïx. Just like Xion did with him.

Axel was certainly deeply affected, though. Even Roxas, who hated Saïx, felt something was wrong about them drifting apart. He actually compared them to Xion and himself.

I just did what I thought was the best thing at the time. For Roxas, for Xion, for the Organization—and for Isa. But most of all for me.

He thinks like this even after he told Saïx to keep hid mouth shut. Even after that, he was still motivated by…well, not Saïx, actually. It was “Isa” who he mentioned. It’s the only time he used his real name as a Nobody, whether spoken or in his own thoughts. He talks about Saïx a lot. But when he thinks about his hopes for the future, it’s not Saïx’s name that comes to mind.

It’s Isa’s name. That’s how much of a distinction he makes between Saïx and Isa. The past and the present. It seemed like he desperately hoped that once Kingdom Hearts was completed, maybe Saïx would go back to being Isa again. And he clung to that hope for dear life. I couldn’t tell who wanted Saïx to get his heart back more—Saïx himself or Axel.

When he woke up after being re-completed, it was like he forgot all about their past conflict. He just wanted his friend back finally. This scene where he used Isa’s real name really stood out to me. It was the clincher. I knew there was no way that Lea did not love Isa with all his heart, when he had one. And after he started to grow a heart again, those feelings never left. Axel still loved him.

“Things are finally right again,” Saïx went on. “Of course, we’re better off this way.”

Axel had no retort for that. Maybe because he didn’t want to alienate Saïx anymore.

“Xemnas is exasperated from all the ‘fixing’ we’ve had to do. We have to set things right. There is too much on the line…Lea.”

Hearing his old name, Axel glanced up to see Saïx watching him intently. He remembered being human. Memories surged inside him, crowding the space in his chest. For Nobodies, memory had all the weight of a heart.

I remember. I won’t forget. But those sunsets with Roxas and Xion were part of his memory. Axel broke away again from Saïx’s gaze, looking down at nothing.

You can tell how conflicted he is when Saïx also uses his real name a little while later. He desperately wants to think Saïx still cares about him as well, but he’s starting to realize that he’s deluding himself. 

“I trust you.”

Axel let out a low chuckle. “Yeah? Because your heart tells you to?”

“Just the memory of it. But if you continue to interfere, I’ll have to overwrite that memory with everything I’ve learned as a Nobody.”

“…Should I take that as a threat?”

“More or less. Keep it in mind.” Finished with the conversation, Saïx walked away.

Axel didn’t move for a while.

This is the first time that Saïx actually threatened to do more to Axel than just end their friendship. He actually threatened to kill him, and he is totally in shock over it. He can’t even move. I found it so telling that Saïx always spoke about his memories in a way that made them sound so foreign to him. His memories of Isa tell him that Lea was once really important to him. But they are so at odds with his personality as a Nobody, that all he ever does is use those memories as a weapon to manipulate and punish Axel.

“We don’t need them both. Just one. And pretending won’t change it.”

We, who? Axel wanted to ask, but he held it in, along with a bitter laugh. He wasn’t sure if that “we” meant Organization XIII or just Saïx and himself.

“Think about that.”

Oh, I am. And I’m sick of it. I’m even desperate enough to ask you if there’s another way.

The words nearly escaped him, but Saïx was already walking toward the Grey Area. The set of his shoulders told him plainly what the answer would be.

Axel realized how great the rift was between how he remembered their past and what he saw now.

Why am I even here? I don’t know anymore. What am I trying to do?

But Axel forgave Saïx over and over and over again. He risked his life constantly whenever Saïx needed someone to do his dirty work. He cared SO much about Isa. But he’s starting to question everything now. What good are their plans if Saïx doesn’t even care about him anymore? If there’s no hope that their relationship can be like it was in the past?

KH3 says that Saïx felt forgotten by Axel, but I just didn’t see that at all. How could he have possibly felt abandoned by Axel of all people? All Axel did was pine for him the whole game. Axel would have been overjoyed if Saïx so much as asked him about how his mission went, or what he ate for breakfast that day. As long as it was something other than the Chamber of Waking. Of course, Saïx knew Axel didn’t forget about him. It’s why he knew calling him “Lea” would be such an effective tactic for his compliance.

“That’s enough.” Saix turned his head, giving Axel a sidelong look over his shoulder. “Traitor.”

Axel scowled darkly.

“I’m going. You know, don’t you, that you won’t stop me except by force? And even if you tried, you would fail.” Saïx went on his way. Memories informed him that he hated this kind of thing.

Here we go again. Saïx is still serious about his threat, and Axel is still deeply hurt. His memories tell him that threatening Axel should make him feel awful, too. In the past, he would be devastated with this situation. But, he isn’t. I really think Saïx simply had access to Isa’s memories, thanks to Ansem’s experiments on the heart. Just like how Xemns had access to Terra’s memories while he was talking to Aqua’s armor and calling it a “friend”. But he was never really Isa.

He had been using the Organization for his own ends from the start. The only thing that had changed in the meantime was who it was all for. Maybe Saïx would call that a betrayal. But his world had changed.

It took until this moment at the very end of the book, for Axel to finally change his mind on who he was doing everything for.

The Roxas that I know is long gone. Fine, I see how it is…

This is the moment where Axel has to finally accept the harsh truth. The truth that he’s known for a long time, deep down, but didn’t want to admit. The Isa he knew is long gone. Which was just so sad to me. Their relationship was SO messed up—it was incredibly damaging to Axel. How could KH3 make Lea and Isa just get over their past so easily? It was ridiculous.

There’s no way that Saïx was planned to be Isa all along. That would be so unfair and insulting to both of their characters. “Yeah, sorry Lea. Your best friend really DID want to kill you all along. So much for healing your pain…Here, have some ice cream.”  

“I sent dusks in before you in numbers. Think of failure as leading to immediate erasure.”

“Certainly, sir,” said Axel, and he bowed exaggeratedly.

“Was that supposed to be a joke, Axel?”

“That’s not too far is it?”

“…It’s not at all funny.” Saïx resumed typing on the keyboard.

Maybe, this is the last time I’ll see Saïx, too.

Thinking, Axel looked at the seated Saïx’s back.

“We’ve known each other for a pretty long time, haven’t we?”

Ignoring Axel’s words, Saïx continued typing on the keyboard.

This is during the time of KH2, when Axel is going to infiltrate the data Twilight Town. There was something incredibly moving about the way Axel related to Saïx. It resonated with me on a deeply personal level, in a way few stories ever have. It was so powerful, without being the slightest bit cheesy or forced. In fact, it flies right under the radar unless you really pay attention.

Axel displayed true unconditional love. He just kept trying and trying and trying—even when his efforts got him absolutely nothing in return. He was totally undeterred. He’d just wait longer, and try even harder, until the day finally comes when his friend wakes up and comes to his senses. He was incredibly hurt by Saïx’s indifference towards him…but he never stopped loving Isa. Even when he lost all hope that he’d ever see him again…he never wanted to forget the pain of losing him. 

Axel didn’t waste a second grabbing his chakrams. But his body was reluctant somehow.

I don’t want to disappear… But still, it wouldn’t be so bad if I did. Not here.

Regardless of how bad things got, even when Saïx followed through with his threat and tried to kill him…Axel STILL loved him, even if only because of how he remembered Isa. Fighting Saïx killed him inside. I like to think that during that scene, on some level, Lea could sense Isa’s true heart inside of Saïx. And that Isa still loves him, too. After all, they are supposed to be inseparable, even when they’re apart.

I truly believe that in the original idea for the story, Lea refused to take off his Organization cloak because he couldn’t bring himself to be “free” until Isa was. I also think that was why he was always staring off at the sunset, looking wistful. There’s a certain type of bonding people experience during shared trauma, that is unlike any other.

Lea and Isa joined the Organization together. They both lost their innocence and their youth to the Organization. There was no way Lea could be free until he knew Isa was, too. He would never, ever be able to move on from the past. And when Isa was rescued, he and Lea would always have that shared history as test subjects. I think their pain was always going to be something they understood better than anyone else.

Terra: I just– When I really need you, Ven, I know you’ll be there.

Aqua: Ven, I’m sorry…I might not make it back as soon as I thought. But Ipromise I’ll be there, one day, to wake you up.

To me, these quotes felt like foreshadowing. Ven is promising the audience that he’ll use the power of waking on Terra, and Aqua assures us that she will be the one to use it on Ven.

Go on, you just keep running. But I’ll always be there to bring you back!

There’s not a doubt in my mind that Lea was going to use these exact words while trying to use the power of waking on Isa. I think Isa would have been so traumatized that his soul fragments would initially refuse to go back to reality. It would not be easy to convince him to come back. Even Riku needed to pass a “test” to revive Sora.

The sun sank lower and lower as Axel watched, his mind wandering.

If he stared for too long, the image would burn itself into his eyes, visible even after his eyes were closed.

A phantom sun.

Someone had once told him why sunsets were red… Who was that?

First of all, Tomoco Kanemaki’s writing is so beautiful. Secondly, why do I get the feeling that it was Isa who made an off-hand remark one day, informing Lea why the sun sets red? 

Axel is lost in thought, staring at the red sunset, before Roxas and Xion arrive. This is just before he talks about how they’ll never have to be apart as long as they have the memories of each other. Which is so similar to what he told Isa all those years ago. “If I can live forever inside people’s memories, then at least Isa can live forever inside mine.” That’s what I believe Axel was thinking that day.

You see, light is made up of lots of colors. And out of all those colors, red is the one that travels the farthest.

The red phantom sun. It burns into your eyes, staying visible even when you close them.

Pandora opened a jar containing sickness, death and many other unspecified evils which were then released into the world. Though she hastened to close the container, only one thing was left behind–hope.  

Axel’s Pandora Gear is called Prominence. Solar prominences are large, bright red-glowing loops of plasma extending outward from the Sun’s surface. They can measure many times larger than Earth’s diameter and last for weeks or even months. Saïx’s Pandora Gear is Crocea Mors, or Yellow Death; the one that looks just like his Berserk state Claymore.

Prominence is shaped like a swastika, or manji. It’s a symbol used to represent the harmonious interplay between opposites beyond the limits of time and space. In Hinduism, the arms pointing clockwise (卐) symbolizes surya (‘Sun’), prosperity, and good luck.

I wholeheartedly wish that Lea got to reunite with Isa—the real Isa. Not the watered-down Xehanort clone masquerading as him in KH3. There’s NO way the real Isa could have EVER inspired the type of devotion we saw from Lea, if he was ANYTHING like Saïx.

#anti-kh3 #kh meta #kh saix #kh axel #kh lea #kh isa #isalea #leaisa #kh isalea #kh leaisa #kh akusai #akusai #kh theories

[mfackenthal]

The MFackenthal Show and @maxattack-powell!

banner by @whenyourheartskipsabeat

Hello all!  Welcome back to the MFackenthal Show!  I am so glad that you are here today.  If you’re new to the show, I encourage you to go here to find past episodes.  There are only a few.

The MFackenthal Show has officially been green lit for more episodes!  We used to only be able to afford to run the show every once in a while, but the people have spoken - they want to see the show more often!  The funding came through and we hope to give the people what they want!  Do you want to be on the show?  Do you have someone that you want to see on the show?  If so - reblog or comment or send a message to let MFackenthal know!  We’ll see what we can do!  We have this show and two others lined up for you!

I could not be more excited to bring you this next guest.  She has been with the fandom for quite a while.  She was one of the first people I started communicating with on a regular basis.  She has talked me up, supported me from the beginning and though she hasn’t written much lately - when she does drop a chapter - it’s long and it’s worth it!  Please welcome to the stage @maxattack-powell!!!!!  (Insert Cheering here!)

(Megs greets Max with a hug - which means that Megs essentially runs and leaps into Max’s arms.  Max is fairly tall and Megs is barely 5′3″) 

Megs:  Max, I am so happy that you are here!  Can you believe that you’re here today?

Max:  Haha, yes - I can.  But I am honored to be here.

Megs:  Max, sit with me.  For those in the audience who may not know you, tell us about when and why you joined the fandom.

Max: Yanno, I always made my best guess at this before, but I knew you were going to ask me this - so I looked it up.  Did you know that now there’s this Official Tumblr blog called @memories, and it knows down to the minute when someone joined? Let me go check it… *digs through the blogs posts* Okay, it was apparently 07/31/2017 at 1:17:15 PM, which means it must have been on the weekend because of the time of day haha.

As for why ... hmm, well… I found the Choices app one day, when it only had like… three series I think! Anyone else remember that time? 

Megs:  I do!  Because I was playing Hollywood University I think I downloaded choices the day the app came out.

Max: Awh!  Well, I fell in love with The Freshman Series. Mostly because of Chris Powell and Zack Zilberg, and a long time ago I was in another fandom that had tons of fan fiction/art… so I googled “Choices Chris Powell” and any other combination I could think of looking for possible fanfiction. The fandom was almost non existent at the time. There was actually one person, who has long since left the fandom due to fandom dramas - we all know the kinds I’m talking about - but a few others had started posting their works as well… and I got hooked. Eventually I felt the bug to write how I felt TF should play out as well, and here I am *looks back at the “joined tumblr timestamp”* uhh… 20ish months ago!  Haha!!

Megs:  LOL, when you put it that way it doesn’t sound like that long ago ... lets call a spade a spade - that was almost 2 years ago!  That’s amazing!  You have to have seen so much in this fandom!  What is it that keeps you around?

Max: There are so many awesome people in this fandom, in this world we’ve all created for our pixelated loves lol. Soooo many creative minds to follow and enjoy. The content people share, original or repost… it’s great. 

... Unfortunately it is also a double edge sword ... the drama, the jealousy, the rumors, the hate, etc. I’ve sadly seen far too much and it comes in so many forms… it’s unnecessary.

Megs:  I couldn’t agree more!  If you could tell the fandom one thing - what would it be?

Max: It would be that we’re all here because we want to have a good time. No one came here to get ridiculed, to be scrutinized or chastised for their opinions, their likes or dislikes. Real life has enough of that going on. We are all individuals - if you want to be treated nicely, fairly, etc. you must also do the same to others. There is no reason someone must agree with you or anyone else. Live and let live. Embrace our differences as it makes us who we are. Most of the issues I see stem from a simple difference in opinion. That is ridiculous. Everyone’s entitled to their own thoughts. We must build each other up, not tear one another down. No one here owes anyone anything, now go have some fun.

(The room stands up in applause!)

Megs:  You should definitely stand up and take a bow, Max! 

(Max does just as Megs suggests - but she also makes Megs stand up and do the same. Laughing, they both sit back down.)

Awh, Max ... okay, let’s get back to you.  We know that you’d fight anyone for the position of The Chris Powell Appreciation/Fan Club.  And for those who don’t know, Max has been retelling the full The Freshman series, interweaving dialogue and plot from PB but also adding much of her own content.  MC and Chris get a backstory.  Chris gets best friends from back home.  What is your favorite piece that you have written?

Max: Oh geez hahaha. Um… can I just say The Freshman Chronicles as a whole? I’ve written for different fandoms, and I have original WIPs but I’ll stick to the Choices fandom for this answer. I’ve put a lot of time into TFC. Tons of additional story work, research on characters and their backgrounds, PBs and my own OCs. You should see my file folder setup haha. It’s crazy… I have so many docs, pictures and gifs. Most organized by location (Hartfeld, Boston, New Haven, Cherryfield, etc.), then by character… and on some I get more detailed and split them by emotion and situation.

Megs: By what again?

Max:  Emotion and Situation ... Yeah. I warned you it was crazy! *laughs* TFC was the reason I joined tumblr really. Instead of staying a Nonny and only reading others posted works. I wanted to comment, like and reblog what I enjoyed, while I also worked on my own contribution to the fandom. I had a vision for Chris and MC that had more than the game could give, and I wanted to see if i was still any good at writing since it had been years and years… it’s funny to see how different my current posts are from my first over a year ago. Makes me want to go update a few because they could use a little help *awkward laugh*

Megs:  I’m sure we can all relate to that!  Hmmm ... I’m starting to get a feel for this, I think, but what is your writing process?

Max:  Lots of planning, mostly in my head. When I feel like I have a decent concept I might type out some notes or work it into my outline (another crazy thing I have going for TFC because it’s so big haha). But usually, once I hatch out a basic plan on where I’m going… I just start typing. Keeping the general plot and main points I want to hit in mind, I simply start typing… keeping it as organic as possible. It usually works out well. 

Megs:  Do you have any advice for other writers?

Max: First, and most importantly… do it because you enjoy it. Don’t do it for likes, reblogs, popularity, etc. If you’re having a good time dreaming things up and typing them out, that’s what’s important. The rest is just an extra bonus. Also, don’t give up. It’s easy to become discouraged, frustrated, distracted and more… but remember - your creative cells can’t be running all the time. They need to rest just like your body. Take breaks… go read, play games, hang out with friends/family, watch a movie… whatever. Just do something to help you relax, to reset and you’ll very probably find inspiration and/or motivation to continue. Remember, this is for fun. *wink and finger guns*

Megs: So what do you do for fun?

Max: I actually have a few things I do regularly. A big one is making costumes/props for conventions, small productions, etc. I also train and show horses. I do the same with my dogs, but more for competitions and not really any shows. I’ve always drawn, sculpted, painted since I was old enough to hold things with my hands… and about a year ago I started learning how to do it digitally as well. I run (not at all for fun haha) and play hockey (totally for fun), follow comics and watch anime. I've restored houses, cars and old furniture. I like to read as much as I can - that’s an important one. I also play video games. Something I’ve done since I was young… I've even competed, and won, a few gaming tournaments.

Megs:  You don’t know how to be bored do you?

Max: LOL, Megs.  Yeah, um, so there’s a “few” *makes air quotes* of my never ending list of interests haha. Gives me a lot to talk about with people, eh?

Megs: Not that I can understand how you’d have time for this ... but what do you do to help pay for your many activities?

Max:  Oh like, my job? Well that can be a simple answer… like “I work in software” but the more interesting way to say it is I use my MBA, experience in business, the financial industry and technology to improve and stabilize my customers environment through technological solutions that fit their specific needs. *presses lips together* I solve problems by designing solutions. Bored yet? Hahaha.

Megs:  No!  That sounds wonderful!  Who doesn’t want their stuff to be designed better?  Any chance you could start working for tumblr?  Some of us have a few complaints ... tags ... mobile losing our work ...

Max:  I’m not sure they could pay me enough to help them with all of their problems!  But, tumblr, feel free to send me an offer!

Megs:  Seriously - send her a 6 figure offer!

Max:  Okay, Megs, well now I have a question for you.

Megs: Uhhhh, Max, that’s not exactly how this is supposed to go. 

Max:  Yeah, don’t care.  Your fans need to know ... Hoooow do you find the time to read and review so much?! And I know that’s just in this fandom.  I know you read books and you may read for other fandoms!?  Seriously, it’s awesome. We need to clock your page flipping speed haha.

Megs:  *blushes* Oh my gosh, you have to stop!  Here’s the key to how I do it ... I wake up at 5:30am and read for about 30 minutes.  Then I workout and start my day.  I read in line at the grocery stores.  I read on my breaks at work. 

Max:  Oh my gosh - you’re such a nerd and I love that!  Okay, nerd, what is your favorite thing to do, besides reading all the things of course?

Megs: This show, of course!  And, of course, getting people to do silly things on this show with me.  For instance - with as athletic as you are, I hear you can’t jump? 

Max:  Megs, shhhhh.  You told me you weren’t going to bring that up.

Megs:  I did no such thing! (Meg says while laughing) I said I might not bring it up.

Max:  Uh huh.

(Kris Kross’s “Jump” starts playing in the studio)

Megs:  Come on - show me what you’ve got! 

(Megs starts “singing” along and jumping along with the song. Max stays seated.  Megs finally pulls Max up into a standing position. Max plays along and “jumps” next to Megs - getting no air at all.)

Oh, come on Max - put some real strength in to it.  Jump! Jump! Jump!

(Max jumps and gets the smallest amount of air time.)

Max:  *laughing* Megs - I’m tall!  I don’t need to jump to reach things!

Megs:  *laughing* That must be nice.  I got good at this type of jumping because I had to learn to jump up and gently grab things from the grocery so I didn’t knock everything down.

*continuing to jump around the audience - getting everyone to join her* And that’s all for the show today today, folks!  Thank you for watching!!  Have a great night!

#The Mfackenthal Show #With @maxattack-powell #Official show number 3 #But the 4th interview #Ellen has nothing on me #Oh who are we kidding #I wish I were half as cool as Ellen #She gets paid to do this #I do this for free #But I love it!

[magpiefngrl]

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

Thanks for the ask! 

What people want to do with their writing differs. Some write for fun, to have a laugh with the rest of the fandom/community; it’s a hobby. Some are trying to see if they’ve got what it takes to become professional writers; some just like the ship and have no interest beyond that. They’re all valid reasons to write. My advice is to the kind of fledgling author I used to be, the one who wanted to be a professional and wanted their writing to be decent, and it’s this:

Read a lot

Write a lot

Step out of your comfort zone

Attend workshops/read writing guides/be open to critique 

[discussion under the cut ‘cause it’s looooooong]

1. Read a lot

It goes without saying; reading is what feeds a writer. I did a travel writing workshop once and the editor told us that he could always tell from someone’s writing what they’d been reading. What one reads the most comes through in one’s writing whether they intend it or not. This “or not” is why I’ve been vigilant ever since to avoid reading anything that I don’t want to be influenced by: gossip mags, for instance, or run-of-the-mill urban fantasy.

As for fic writers, I’d suggest reading the best examples of writing in your fandom. Read them often and try to see what it is about them that you love and you’d like to emulate: is it the banter? The prose? The UST and emotions? The plot? How did the author do it? Tip #4 below helps with that.

I’d also strongly advise resisting the temptation to read only fic. Like the editor above, now I can usually tell if an author has been consuming only fanfic, because the sentences sound familiar. Fanfic can be restrictive when it’s the only thing you consume. People like to rail against published books on tumblr, but as someone who actually wants to be published one day, that attitude irritates me. It’s also false. There’s a ton of marvellous stuff out there, books from people from all over the world, books with great prose or great plot, books from marginalised authors, classics that are classics for a reason, new authors doing incredible stuff. 

tl;dr: read the best writing you can get your hands on (incl. published books) as often as you can

2. Write a lot

This also goes without saying. Writing is a skill; the more you practice, the better you become at it. Fic is amazing for it! You practice writing plot, dialogue, characterisation, description. You might insert on original character or two.

At the beginning, a new writer’s output might not be as amazing as what they’d like it to be, but recognising that it’s not there yet is actually a huge step in improving. So write loads, and don’t be afraid to write things no one will see. Set a word count target (you could join a community such as @gywo​) and try to reach that target. It could be 300 words a day or 2k words every weekend or a total of 12k a month, whatever works for you. Make writing a habit. Ask people here to prompt you, write off-the-cuff. Some of it won’t be great – to you. But there’ll always be a reader who loves the quick drabble you wrote. And even if the post goes unnoticed, move on. Write the next drabble/fic, and then the next. Just keep writing and keep making it the best you can.

tl;dr: write your arse off

3. Step out of your comfort zone

This tip isn’t one you usually see in these kinds of lists, but to me it’s an important one. What I mean is that complacency can be a writer’s biggest enemy. Say you’ve reached a decent writing level, you’ve got some readers, you’re having fun writing your fics. They’re becoming popular so you think you’re doing something right and write some more in the same vein. This is all good, but it might also lead to stagnation.

Stepping out of your comfort zone shakes things up. This advice relates to the other tips. First, read something that you normally avoid, esp. if people are saying it’s a fantastic piece of writing. My thinking is that if X fic has rave reviews but happens to be mpreg (which I loathe), the benefits of being exposed to the great writing outweigh the mpreg–and I can always skim through that part. Do consider your triggers if you have any and look after yourself, but also don’t confuse them with dislikes. 

Reading outside your genre is a great way to shake things up: if you’re into Eighth-Year drarry, read them as fifty-year-olds. If you only read Auror case fics, read a smoking-hot PWP or an achingly-cute domestic drarry. If the books you buy are all adult sci-fi, try this contemporary YA everyone’s been raving about. Read poetry, if you don’t! Even if you don’t get it. Just read it, consider the word choices and put it aside. You don’t have to read outside your comfort zone all the time, but try to do it with some regularity and make sure you choose great quality works. 

Same with writing: if you write in one genre, try writing a story in another. Maybe you’ll fuck it up. No one needs to see it. At least you’ve tried. This is where workshops or writing exercises come in handy. Recently I took part in one where some drarry authors wrote a paragraph with sentences up to seven words, and another that was only one sentence. Imagine writing a 200-word sentence! You’ll probably never use it in your life, but it’s such a great way to practise sentence structure and see the effect it has on tone and pacing. Prompts can help as well: some of the AU prompts I received were things I longed to write, but others were harder. Some I fucked up. But I wrote a flower shop fic for a friend, which is something I’d never in my life write willingly lol, and it turned out wonderful and it’s actually become very popular. I’m currently writing a historical AU, which is def outside my comfort zone, and it’s taking me ages, but it also forces me to examine it from all angles to find how to make it work for me, and that means I get to learn a bit more about writer-me. 

Writing outside your comfort zone is also about writing things that might make you emotional. Natalie Goldberg’s writing book (mentioned above) was one of the first I read and it’s influenced me a great deal: she says that when you feel choked up or upset or emotional while writing a scene, keep writing. You’ve tapped into a vein. Digging deep in a character’s psyche might make you uncomfortable, sure; it means digging deep inside yourself and some dark parts of you that you might not necessarily like. Keep going. For me, that’s what pushes someone’s writing from good to amazing. It’s why some fics stand out, get recced loads and are lauded, even if they don’t have a huge amount of kudos.

tl;dr: read books outside your genre, do writing exercises and write things that make you emotional 

4. Attend workshops/read writing guides/be open to critique

Let me repeat that this is advice for people who want their writing to be better and who possibly want to go pro. If you’re writing as a hobby, you needn’t pay attention to this. For the rest: learning the technical aspects of the craft can make a huge difference in your writing.

At first, you might enjoy a fic and not know why. Workshops and writing guides can help you identify what it is you liked. You’ll be able to examine a novel with a different eye when you’re familiar with the 3-act structure rather than go “wow, the pacing was amazing, I couldn’t put this down, but I don’t know why”.

There are dozens of writing guides out there. After reading more than thirty, I can confirm they get repetitive after a while. But read a couple of them, at the very least. Check if your library has: Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg, Steering the Craft by Ursula Le Guin (though I wouldn’t rec this one if you’re completely new), On Writing by King, Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott (which is also really funny). 

Attending a workshop/accepting critique is the hardest to arrange. It requires other people, you can’t read it or borrow it from your library. Now, I’ve heard from people who attended creative writing seminars that they were in class with a bunch of idiots who had strong opinions as to what’s literature and what’s not. If that’s something you’d rather not face, then there are creative writing MOOCs around where people are kinder and more supportive. I’ve taken several and am a huge advocate of them. You can audit a MOOC (watch the video with the lecture, do the reading, skip the assignment) but participating will help the most. You might get 1-2 or even 15 people commenting on your work, telling you what worked and what didn’t. Some common elements will arise: perhaps everyone liked the dialogue, but many felt the description was lacking. It’s not a pleasant feeling, but you’ll have a clearer idea of what works and what doesn’t. Examining each piece of critique and seeing if you agree or not with it is a big step in improving.

Having your work betaed is of course the number one thing you can do to improve, and having a good beta is invaluable–and not always easy to find. Try to find a good beta. Finally, If you’re in a fandom community, see if you can arrange a workshop thing with your friends. Just make sure that you’re all on board with critiquing each other’s writing with kindness, but also not just squeeing. Squeeing can take place with critiquing, it’s not mutually exclusive. 

tl;dr: learn the technical aspects of the craft and learn to accept critique

Thanks for the ask! I hope you don’t mind such a detailed answer :))

#writing advice #writing #writeblr #writing tips #my craft or sullen art #asks #i think i'll copy this on my wordpress

[aroworlds]

Aro-Spec Artist Profile: Alex

Today I have the delight of introducing Alex, better known to aro-spec Tumblr as @arotaro and @mutant-jojos!

Alex is a bisexual, half-Puerto Rican multi-disciplinary aromantic artist and creative with severe ADHD. You’ll find her prolific fanworks on AO3 as EmeraldTrash666, writing primarily for the JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure fandom. Her bold, colourful art for the JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Fullmetal Alchemist, Hetalia, Pokemon and Vocaloid fandoms is also available on Redbubble under the name StellaHagane.

She writes, she creates digital art and she dabbles in music, sewing and fashion design, single-handedly proving that there’s no such thing as too much creative awesome for any one aromantic!

With us Alex talks about finding the word aro, the power of fandom and creative fanworks, her love of aro Jotaro, the challenges of creating with ADHD, the struggles of being an aro gen writer in fandom and the importance of expressing our aro headcanons. Everything she says is absolutely on point, so please let’s give her all our love, encouragement, gratitude, kudos and follows for taking the time to explore what it is to be aromantic and creative.

Can you share with us your story in being aro-spec?

I guess in some ways my “story” starts out pretty typical. Got older, kept waiting for my First Crush™, never got it, started worrying and trying to force myself to develop crushes. I actually was in a relationship with another girl on a forum I was part of as a teenager, but eventually I realized that I didn’t really like her romantically, and the relationship started to become really unpleasant for me. I eventually felt so miserable that I didn’t even want to talk at her at all, even though we were close friends, but I didn’t want to break up with her - partly because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, partly because we were everyone’s “OTP” and I didn’t want my friends to hate me for ruining that. But eventually I did break up with her, and I’m happy to say she took it with grace and we’re still close friends today! (She’s ace and a great writer/artist herself, too!)

I was part of a very nice LGBTQ+ group as a teenager, but I could never figure out my identity. I felt really ashamed and alone. Whenever I brought up how messed up I felt because I’d never had a crush on anyone, everyone was like, “Oh, sounds like you must be asexual!”, but I knew I wasn’t, and that was the worst part. Even though I knew aromanticism was a thing, nobody ever talked about it. It was only ever in the context of aroaces, so I didn’t know I was aro. I thought I must have had some sort of mental illness or something, but certainly not a legitimate orientation, nothing to be proud of like everyone else.

During that time, I found myself connecting on a deep emotional level to characters like Alphonse Elric, Fujiwara no Sai, the X-Men in general (although I’ve been an X-Men fan since I was literally a baby), basically anyone who was somehow “different” from the rest of humanity, even though I never understood why, since I was a fairly privileged kid who had never experienced much bullying or anything. Weirdly enough, it was Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure that helped me realize I was aro and come to terms with it; I saw an interview with Hirohiko Araki, the author of JJBA, where he was asked what type of girls Jotaro Kujo likes, and replied that he didn’t think Jotaro liked girls. The obvious interpretation would be that Jotaro’s gay, but somehow, one way or another, I decided to go with the idea that Jotaro’s aromantic. Jotaro also happened to be a character I really related to for reasons I couldn’t quite articulate, so around the time I was 18 I put two and two together and was like ... oh shit…

Please click keep reading to continue Alex’s story!

Can you share with us the story behind your creativity?

I’ve always been weird in the way I’m very creative, but tend to kinda bounce around from hobby to hobby. Other people draw, or write, or sing, while I draw for a month, and then write for a month and sew for a week and play video games for a week, and then I draw some more, and then I try out something completely new, and then I write again. I think it must be an ADHD thing, idk. In any case, I’ve just always been really passionate about making stuff, whatever that stuff happens to be.

I’ve also always been very much fandom-oriented. Ever since I was a toddler, I used to dictate fanfiction to my mom (back then it usually involved Winnie the Pooh, the Powerpuff Girls, Godzilla, and my dog). I mostly draw fanart. I find that I’m not really capable of writing original stories, but I’m great at getting fanfics in character, and I love writing them. I love taking stories I already love and reinterpreting them, seeing what it would be like if the characters were put into different situations, etc.

Because of my ADHD, I really struggle with actually finishing things. I try really really hard, I really do, and I’ve been trying to push myself even harder these past few years. I’ve made progress, but it’s still extremely difficult, so I’m very sorry for all the projects I’ve abandoned over the years. Sorry I still haven’t finished the fic that was supposed to be done in early March. I’m trying, really. I promise I’m working on the next chapter of BLaD, too.

Are there any particular ways your aro-spec experience is expressed in your art?

Of course, pretty much everything I write is gen. Even if I include romantic relationships in my fics, I never write about romance, just stories which also happen to include some characters who might be dating someone. And obviously I always write Jotaro as aro! That’s really important to me. No matter which AU I’m writing, he’s always aro. (And autistic, but that’s off topic.)

I’m also not really into shipping because of my romance repulsion, but I ship Joseph Joestar and Caesar Zeppeli. The thing is … I’ve always viewed it as a unique relationship, sort of difficult to define as being strictly romantic or platonic or sexual, just kind of their own thing that defies words. That’s how I’ve always written it. I had the sudden realization recently that this strange view on the only ship I really actually like (at the moment, anyway) is probably due to my being aro, lmao.

What challenges do you face as an aro-spec artist?

People don’t read gen fics, and people aren’t interested in aro stories. That’s just the way it is. I do have some dedicated readers, whom I love deeply, but in general… I could post something with a deep plot, something funny and dramatic and witty and touching, something I poured my heart and soul into for months, and it’ll get very few hits/comments/kudos, while someone else could post the same generic 2,000-word romance fic everyone’s seen a dozen times over, with no editing or anything, and get twice the amount of traffic my fics do in half the time. It’s really crushing.

How do you connect to the aro-spec and a-spec communities as an aro-spec person?

I dunno… The aro community feels so small. Online, I have a small circle of aro mutuals who all kind of vent collectively, and I’m part of Arocalypse and a few aro/aspec Discord servers, but I still feel like there isn’t really much of a larger community to be part of in the same way that there is for other orientations. Offline, I’ve never met another aro, or even anyone who actually knows what aromanticism is prior to me explaining it to them.

I also don’t feel like there’s a very unified “aspec community”. As an allo aro, I feel very rejected by the ace community - not to say that I feel like I should be part of the ace community, since I’m not ace, but I feel like they throw aros under the bus a lot. I mean, we’ve all seen the “asexuals can feel love, just like anybody else! … oh, except for aroaces, I guess. But the rest of us are normal, so you should accept us!” rhetoric. Both within and outside the aspec communities, aros are rarely treated with the same priority as aces, even though we’re arguably in a much more difficult position than your average allo ace.

That being said, I’m glad there is an aro community at all. I don’t know where I’d be now if I were still questioning. Probably not in a very good place.

How do you connect to your creative community as an aro-spec person?

As I mentioned, there’s a general lack of interest in gen fics or sympathy for romance-repulsed people in general. It’s really difficult being romance repulsed in fandom spaces, because nobody cares about anything other than ships. There are very few gen fics, and even less that are a decent length, not abandoned, or cater to my specific interests, so I have to write my own. I don’t often have anything good to read; most of the big fics, the ones with cool plots and long word counts and ongoing updates, are ship fics. If I’m lucky, maybe two gen fics will be posted in one week, and maybe one of them will be longer than a few thousand words. Maybe one might even have my favorite characters. But usually genfics are few and far between, and kind of random in terms of what you’ll get. Sometimes I get so bored that I read ship fics anyway, and then I always wind up feeling really awful afterwards.

I’ve written, over the course of the past two years alone, over 20 gen fics. But whenever I vent that sometimes I’d like to actually get to read something, I always get someone telling me, “Well if you want gen fics, write some yourself! You have to make the change! You can’t demand people write stuff for you!” And of course, at the same time it’s totally acceptable to request ship fics from your favorite author, and if you complain that there aren’t enough fics for your rarepair, it’s seen as relatable and totally valid.

Fandom is just … really, really amatonormative, tbh. I hate it. I’m trying to make a difference (I did organize Gen Jojo Week along with my friend Rachel last year, and hopefully will again this year), but there’s only so much I can do.

How can the aro-spec community best help you as a creative?

Aside from reblogging my art and promoting my fics? Talk about stuff. Talk about aro stuff in fandom. Seriously! I know it seems obvious that aro people would like aro headcanons and gen fics and all that, but we need to talk about them more. Nobody outside the community gives enough of a shit about us to have aro headcanons, so let’s get them popular. Talk about your favorite aro headcanons. Talk about your favorite gen fics. Talk about how such-and-such character is totally aro; talk about how excited you are to see aro characters in fics. My dream is for aro headcanons to become just as common and popular as any other type of headcanon.

Can you share with us something about your current project?

This is old news to most of the people who already know me, but my current big project that I’ve been working on for several years now is Between Life and Death, a drama/horror/supernatural JJBA fic.

(WARNING: PHANTOM BLOOD AND STARDUST CRUSADERS SPOILERS BELOW.)

The plot of the fic is that Dio wins at the end of Stardust Crusaders, and after realizing that he has no hobbies other than harassing the Joestars, he decides to bring Jonathan back by sticking his head (which… we’ll just assume Dio preserved for plot purposes) onto Jotaro’s body. Obviously, Jonathan is NOT happy with this arrangement, but it also turns out that Jotaro’s still alive, just not in control of his body. He can still use his stand, so he essentially uses Star Platinum as a sort of proxy for interacting with the environment around him, even though he only comes out when Jonathan’s alone since he doesn’t want Dio to know he’s alive.

Basically, it’s the story of a depressed vampire and a traumatized ghost. It’s a very introspective fic; most of the story consists of conflicts between Dio and Jonathan, and Jonathan and Jotaro struggling to come to terms with their new existences - Jonathan being unable to reconcile vampirism with his personal morals, and Jotaro having one hell of an identity crisis while also mourning the deaths of his friends and family. The plot is picking up, though, and there is an end goal in mind, as well as an eventual sequel!

As for where the story-in-progress is at right now … well, the next “stage” of the plot is hamon training for Kakyoin and Avdol, which will be fun. This chapter also includes several dream sequences, including an extended appearance by Mary Joestar (Jonathan’s mom), and a very serious and dark scene which I almost ruined by having dream!Will Zeppeli refer to Jonathan as his padawan. Yeah.

Have you any forthcoming works we should look forward to?

As mentioned, I’m working on chapter 9 of Between Life and Death! And working on and off on some stuff for the mutants AU. Most recently, on a whim I rewrote the lyrics to Handbeat Clocktower by MOTHY to be about Jonathan Joestar. Somehow this went far enough that I’m making an actual UTAU rendition of this “parody”, and hopefully it’ll be done sometime in the next few weeks. I’m really having fun with it and I hope people like it!

#aro spec artist profiles #arotaro #emeraldtrash666 #mutantjojos #text #undescribed #artwork and visual #fanwork #fanfiction #fanart #long post #very long post #aromantic #support our aro spec creatives if you can #aromantic and bisexual #alloaro #ao3 #link #amatonormativity #arospec community #amatonormativity in creativity #redbubble #stellahagane

[dyketectivecomics]

So...what ARE you feelings on bruce being a Pisces? Let alone that Cass is an Aquarius, Dick is an Aries, Jason's a Leo and Tim's a cancer?

I slowly shut my laptop and set it aside on my bed, staring ahead at nothing in particular as I reminisce on a favorite Pisces in my life. My best friend since childhood, a girl who i’ve known for well over a decade, more than half of my life really, who happens to share the exact same birthday as Fictional Character Bruce Wayne. A Pisces-cusp.

I think on the similarities I see between them, the qualities of her character that only I and a few others would know, and try to think on how others have perceived her before joining our friend group over the years. I admire her empathy, her passion for music and video games, her willingness to put all of her friends above herself. 

And then i remember how she drunk-texted our group chat last night just to tell us she loved us & that she couldn’t wait to hit up a gay bar with us when we’re all back in town.

And I cackle. Because if no one else does, I do see these qualities in Bruce Wayne’s character. Just a hair below all the so-called brooding and angst. Bruce is a water sign who’s a little emotionally stunted in that he tries to hide his feelings, but he feels oh-so-very much. He’s a Pisces trying to emulate a Scorpio and falling just short (bc lets be real, he’s got too many kids that he definitely dotes on) but yknow… it’s something that when he’s done correctly by writers, they somehow manage to fit those qualities in without even realizing, I think. Sure, he’s not a kid that I grew up with and there’s plenty of differences because my friend is, yknow, an actual person who’s more than a couple of personality traits. But damn if I don’t see similarities….

Now, as for the rest of the kids & others that I relate them to… (under the cut, tagging as “long post” for mobile users just incase tumblr wants to be a butt again) Also a warning bc some of this will sound like I’m ripping from astrology sites but honestly just narrowed things down from my own personal experience with these signs. Take all of this observation & comparison with a grain of salt, if you wish.

Cass is an aquarius, like myself. And I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t see more than a few similarities in what few scattered stories I’ve been able to read so far (or even that I might be prone to reading a bit too much into some of it bc hey, I have a fav now & I want to see myself in her, sue me). One of these days I’m probably going to sit down and really dive in, but for now, I gather what I can, listen to the meta that others have, and ofc, try to form my own opinion. 

That being said, an eccentric-ass Aquarius is really the only choice to take over the mantle from a sensitive-ass Pisces, and everyone can fite me on this. Aquarians & Pisces, my friend and I, Bruce and Cass- all on a similar wavelength, esp when they’re encouraging each other and learning to grow from one another.

Cass is an air sign that most people only see as being grounded because of the discipline David Cain instilled in her from childhood. She’s funny, wise beyond her years, and intensely dedicated to the mission at hand bc of what it means to help others as a whole. And this is fault that I see in myself and in her: she’s got plenty of empathy for those she might already be close to, and absolutely cares about humanity in a greater sense, but caring for individuals without getting to know them can be uncomfortable. She’s driven, but can be blindsided by that dedication and burn herself out easily if others don’t intervene. Also, an introverted extrovert, one who’s absolutely ready to meet with others and collaborate/team-up, but can get a little lost in her own head from time-to-time.

…

Now, Dick the Aries. My other best friend since childhood also shares this sign with my First Favorite Robin. And I do see more than a number of parallels between the two of them. My aries friend has a penchant for taking over projects and setting themselves in charge of the operation. But they also have the charm and ingenuity to make themselves to seem the perfect and best fit for that leadership position. They’re rebellious, a little brash in decision-making, but they’ve also mellowed out over the years in many small ways. Still on fire about what they’re most passionate about in life, and more than willing to achieve it by any means necessary, damn anyone who thinks that they won’t.

There’s a popular consensus in fanon to make dick a kind of hufflepuff who’s just there for his friends & loves hugs and is lovey all around- but Dick is driven. He cares for his friends fiercely and will help them absolutely, but he’s ready to avenge them too. He’ll punch you in the face, pirouette with the utmost amount of sass, and then make you feel bad for making him do it in the first place. He’s got that bit of deviousness that will make you second guess his intentions. But if you’re already part of his inner circle, you have nothing to fear from him. And that’s where his lovey side then has room to come out.

…

Moving on to Jason the leo, and I know you didn’t ask, but Im adding Stephanie to this discussion as well since she’s a leo too. A few leos that I’ve gotten to know over the years can be summed up very lovingly as this: attention whores. (again. very lovingly. i love each and every one of those bitches so damn much, this is something they’ve each used to describe themselves lmao)

Leo is the King of the Zodiac, commanding attention in the room whenever they walk in. They’ve got plenty to say, of course, and they’re excellent diplomats/socialites in many ways. Often best suited for a leadership position. They know how to read the conversation and the room and turn it best into their favor. They will dazzle you with their wit and charm, but also in their knowledge of the subject at hand. If they have an Opinion, they’ll absolutely let you know what it is, and they’re not afraid to hold back on what they perceive to be a truth. Some will have a bit more tact than others, but they’re a fire sign, after all. 

Did this just describe Jason & Steph? well maybe not to some, but I definitely see their drive to complete their own missions & joining up Bruce’s crusade as Leo qualities. Steph and Jay are willing to do what it takes and butt heads with whoever they must if it means doing what they see is right. They’re absolutely social people too (maybe Steph a bit more than Jay will be), and you can’t deny they’ve both got a certain kind of charm over the rest of the family.

…

Tim the cancer sign… this is… difficult actually. One of the few signs that I don’t recall having significant interaction with. (& honestly the character & Robin that I have the least personal interest in. I do want to like him but I just…??? Havent rlly found the time to put into reading up on him more)

But just going off the water sign aspect, and knowing water signs in my life… Emotions & emotional intelligence are obviously going to be at the forefront. From what I’ve gathered on Tim, he’s very well-rounded in all areas of his life, and driven to succeed at whatever he’s set his mind to. I can absolutely respect the strength his character has commanded over the years, and his popularity is absolutely earned, I think. Writers have worked hard to make sure he’s distinct from Dick & Jason before him in many ways, and I’ll have to look deeper into his character & listen to more meta on him before I’ll be comfortable to speak further on that.

…

To round out this discussion, I want to bring Barbara into the mix, because she’s had a fixed birthday for awhile now. And tbh she’s just as much part of the family as the rest I think (yes, I know some people get Babs fatigue bc she’s the first batgirl & gets the other girls lost in the shuffle but hey! I’ve loved her for awhile now!) She is *drum roll* a Libra!

Now, this ones a bit tricky, bc the most important Libra in my life is my mom. Buuuut, she and Babs are both cusps… on opposite ends of this zodiac sign. I admire my mother for her resolve, inventiveness, work ethic, and stability. I also loathe her tendency to micromanage projects, become overly involved in the work of others (to the point where she WILL find out whats going wrong) and how she tends to overwork herself (just this past spring has been really really difficult. I’m surprised she hasn’t worked herself into the grave with the amount of stress she puts on herself)

Now some of these qualities, I absolutely see in Babs. But I also see a bit more awareness in her character, esp when she’s grown up into her Oracle persona. She seems able to recognize what she’s doing and how she’s affecting others, and will sometimes use that to her advantage. She’s a character who’s grown into the adversity she faces & doesnt let it change her resolve for completing the mission, even if it needs to be from a new (& probably better) angle. She adapts well to change, or forces the change to adapt to her. She is a force to be reckoned with and admired.

…

All of this to say… at the end of the day, the stars are still just balls of gas and light that sit some billion light-years away from us. Do they really control our personalities? I mean, probably not. But there’s enough similarities in those traits to make you wonder… and it’s honestly just a Good Fun Time regardless. 

#long post #randywrites #asked and answered #sorceressassassin #ok that should cover tags lmao #anyways jim gordon is a capricorn and i totally see it bc my sis is one too & omigosh the way mom n sis butt heads is hilarious when i think #abt how its a reverse of jim & babs butting heads #the parent/child dynamic is reversed by sign & a little by social convention but not rllyby much #anyways bruce absolutely loves and tries to relate to all of his kids but heaven help him #so yeah this is what i mean when i say I'm laughing over bruce being a pisces bc I'm usually imagining my friend #altho her boyfriend isn't a pisces i think he's a leo... so they def don't have that bruce/selina dynamic... since selinas a pisces too #hey like signs with like is usually the best way to go #I've got a lot of feelings and i tried to pare it down to the basics but this still came outlong #home y'all don't mind that tho anyways. happy sunday everyone I'm just gonna go cry about stats now

[suitcasesoffeathers]

I was tagged by @pilotpig and @teeceeart!! Thank you guys so much!! <3

Rules: Answer 11 questions, make 11 of your own, tag 11 people!

I’m gonna put my questions first with tags since THIS IS SO LONG I’M SORRY :’)

I’d like to tag @pilotpig, @teeceeart, @iamapoopmuffin, @sakkigami, @zamashi, @awney, @xnatiix, @carrotcouple, @yaomomochi, @kitanoko, and @the-best-alcoholic-beverage~~ (You don’t have to do this if you don’t want of course!)

My questions:

If you could meet any fictional character in real life, who would it be and why?

If you could magically teleport anywhere (to a real location or fictional location), where would that be and why?

If you were in control of the world for a day, what would you do?

What’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

What do you do when you’re bored?

What’s the dumbest injury you’ve ever gotten? (could be from cuts/scrapes to broken limbs, etc.)

Do you have anyone that you really admire/aspire to be like one day? If so, who?

Is something that you really treasure that other people may think is dumb?

What are some positive personality traits that you believe/other people say you have? (no need to be modest ;))

What style do you usually sport clothes-wise?

If you could have a mountain of any food right now, what would it be?

1. What is your favorite soap scent?

Coconut! I love coconut scents~

2. What is the talent of yours that you are most proud of? Please go on and on and on about it!! (and don’t say you have no talents because I know all of you well enough to know that’s not true >:’D)

Mmm...probably drawing because apparently, a lot of you guys like my art~~ <3 Thank you so much for all the support! It really means a lot! <3 I don’t have much to say, so I won’t go on and on lol (plus, I think it’d be boring to read, and it kinda feels wrong—kinda like bragging??)

3. What is your favorite book and why? Or TV show/anime/movie if you don’t like books?

After Ever After by Jordan Sonnenblick because it broke my heart, and Jeffery is totally relatable and lovable. And my favorite anime is Boku no Hero Academia because the plot is very unique (though it may not seem like it since it uses the basic idea of hero school), like the way that the whole story takes an unexpected turn in the first episode ;) (no spoilers lol) And all the main characters are well-thought out, and are really relatable/likeable. They all just seem so human, so I really like that.

4. Which fictional character do you relate to the most? (And why, if you want?)

Oh snap, this is a hard question...I think at first, it was Midoriya from BNHA, because he was just a lame kid, who had dreams that seemed so far out of reach. He was totally unconfident in his own abilities, which I think a lot of people can relate to, and I guess he just seems vulnerable like a normal human. But now, he’s totally epic, and his resolve has long surpassed mine, so I feel less like I can relate to him?? Maybe Bakugou is more relatable now because he has those deep confidence issues, and is constantly trying his best to get better, though sometimes, he takes a step in the wrong direction. I feel like I do that a lot. I always want to improve, so I make stupid mistakes, and end up farther from my goal (like my wrist pain :’)). And then, he has that whole jealous thing/fear of being surpassed with Midoriya, and that’s something that I sometimes feel, though not as strongly and often lol And then with his whole “this happened because of me” around chapter 120 is totally relatable cuz sometimes I just feel like things are my fault even though people say it’s not?? So yeah...I guess Bakugou just has more flaws, and as a person with many flaws, I relate to him LOL

5. Do you have any collections? If so, what do you collect?

I used to collect stickers, though I kinda dropped that...Now I have a ton of stickers for no reason lol

6. What are your top three best personality traits, and what is one thing about your personality that you want to work on?

Top three as in personality traits I like? Or traits I have? I’ll just do like because that’s easier LOL I love someone who’s considerate, understanding, and patient. One thing I’d like to work on is my anxiety…? Or maybe I’d like to be more open?? Or considerate?? Aw, man, it’s hard to choose one. SO YOU GET ALL THESE lol

7. Do you have any pets? If so, what is/are their personality/personalities like?

Yes! I have a dog named Po~~ <3 He’s a total coward, completely skittish around strangers and other dogs, but he’s such a cutey around people he’s comfy with. He loves being scratched, and sometimes even gets your attention by pretending he wants to play (whether it be by jumping on you or making noises so you notice him), so you’ll chase him when he suddenly just lies down and spreads his legs to signify a scratch session lol And he’s just super adorable when he wants to cuddle or comes to greet my family at the front door. <3

8. What is your preferred study method?

I prefer to not study at all. LOL But if I had to, I’d like to have an organized study guide, with a detailed explanation of everything on the test so I can actually understand the material, and not just memorize facts. I’d like to know why I should do certain things in order to come to a conclusion, so I can completely understand and simplify things if necessary. (I usually like a visual/text to help if that’s what you meant LOL)

9. What is the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done?

Uhhh...tbh I’m not a very adventurous person...Maybe something like jumping off a ledge a few meters high, or jumping out of a short tree...nothing really extreme...Well, I guess I went to one of those fake rock climbing center things with the colorful rocks, and made it to the top of a super tall wall (with gear of course)...does that count??

10. What are your life goals?

Be happy, healthy, and become a comic book artist/writer with a nice family and nice friends. LOL i don’t have too many goals.

11. What is your favorite part of being on Tumblr?

THE PEOPLE! Tbh, that’s the main reason I stay on tumblr. I’ve met so many lovely people, and made so many amazing friends, so I can’t just leave! Aw man, you guys rock~ <3

 1. Are there any new hobbies or new skills you want to try/learn?

Hmmm...maybe painting with oil paints? I’ve always been curious, though I haven’t really done any research or anything ^^; But aside from art, maybe some sort of exercise?? Lol idk

2. Do you believe in anything supernatural? (if you have stories please share, I find them fun to read)

Um, not really?? I don’t really believe in those things ahaha

3. What’s your favourite historical era and why?

To learn about?? Probably Ancient Egypt because it’s so crazy, the things they used to do...Their religion, culture...just everything lol

4. What is one of the strangest conversations you’ve ever had?

Well, my memory’s terrible, so I just asked @pilotpig, and she gave me an amazing conversation to share:

Me: Hey dude? What’s a strange conversation that I’ve had?

Piggie: *pauses* THIS! BLLLEEEEEEEGGGGHHHH!

5. Any inside jokes (not with me, just in general)?

Yes! I have a ton of inside jokes with @pilotpig! Here’s one example… “HELLOO! OOOOOO-OOOH YEAH YEAH YEAH, YEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!” lol that sounds completely stupid XD though...it is, so...lol idk

6. What quote do you say the most?

Um...maybe “Oh my...oh my...GOODNESS!!!!” —All Might from BNHA or “with the power of youth” —Lee and Gai from Naruto Tbh I don’t usually say quotes, so it’s mostly just stupid things lol

7. If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?

The power to magically obtain any knowledge instantly so that studying would be super easy, and homework would be a breeze! ...I mean, it’d be helpful in pretty much any situation, so... lol

8. Favourite British drama, Korean drama and/or American drama?

I don’t really watch dramas, but I liked the Korean drama “I Hear Your Voice”!

9. Have you ever been in a situation that felt like you were in a movie?

Yes! So my friend and I had a bit of an argument. (She lied about her grades, and then my other friend and I were speculating whether or not she was lying, but not in a bad way of course...Cuz tbh lying about your grades is totally understandable lol is that bad?) But anyway, I apologized profusely because I really felt bad, and I shouldn’t have talked about her without her knowing, but she was still angry, and so, after class, I was chasing her through a sea of people, trying to talk to her, and make things right, but it was so hard to reach her because she was storming out, and actively trying to avoid me. I called out her name several times until finally I caught up to her, and told her what a great friend she was, and how I didn’t want that mistake to ruin our friendship. She didn’t really accept my apology, and held that against me for the rest of the year, but she eventually forgave me (I think?? yeah...we’re not so close anymore...).

10. Any funny things you did as a kid?

Hmmm, well as a kid, I loved Batman, and so I watched a lot of it. But then, in one episode, I heard the line “So long, suckers!” so I kept repeating that line, and my parents kept telling me not to say it because it was mean LOL (that was when I was 2 to 4 years old?? Idk i don’t really remember XD)

11. Something you’re looking forward to?

Getting over my wrist pain, and drawing freely! ^///^

#tag game #tagged #meme thing #tag thingy #long #personal #about me