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fleetsonourgecentral · 2 years

Note

I bring you a thought: Scourge has to be the one to tell Tails to get out of the workshop and go to bed at a reasonable time for once. Tails refuses. Chaos and violence follow. (I’m just finding myself with a new craving for Scourge acting like a big brother and thought of you.) Have a wonderful week!!

I am holding this thought in my hands thank u

~~~

There were upsides and downsides to Sonic being away from the rest of the Freedom Fighters. Surprisingly, the upsides did not outweigh the downsides. Sure, Scourge got to do whatever he wanted in the kitchen without Sonic around to yank him away from the kettle by his ear, and sure, it meant he usually wouldn't be expected to do any, blech, hero stuff, but it also left him without his favourite person. (To annoy. Favourite person to annoy, because that was definitely his priority, and the part about being apart from his boyfriend definitely did not bother him at all.)

And apparently, recently it also meant some of his responsibilities were dumped on Scourge instead.

Not the mildly interesting ones like leading the Freedom Fighters, either; according to Amy he was "too much of a loose canon" and "not concerned enough about civilians" or whatever and thus wasn't allowed near the leader position. No, his brand new responsibility was that he was expected to babysit one Miles Tails Prower. A fact Sonic conveniently forgot to inform him of until the second before walking out of the door, when he'd called out, "By the way, keep Pixel Brain in line while I'm gone!"

Because if there was one thing Scourge's entire demeanor screamed, it was good with kids.

To the kid's credit, he wasn't the worst Tails Scourge had ever met. He was no natural born genius like Prime Tails, but he wasn't always looking out for a way to stab Scourge in the back like Miles did, so he wasn't awful. He just... wasn't the kind of kid Scourge was used to. He was used to Tails being some super genius on par with Robotnik or Kintobor. He was used to a frighteningly clever fox who was (sometimes) his terrified minion or Prime's loyal sidekick.

But this Tails? He was a Freedom Fighter, sure, but he was nothing special. It was easier to see him as a kid than any other Tails he'd met, and it showed in the way Sonic treated him, much to the brat's dismay.

Scourge didn't really know what to do with that, so he had no clue how he was supposed to handle these brand new babysitting duties.

Still, he didn't... feel right just blowing the job off on someone else. Probably because of those pesky feelings he'd managed to catch. He knew Sonic trusted him - he never would've agreed to date Scourge if he didn't - but being asked to keep an eye on Tails was something else. A show of trust he'd never even considered possible to receive. Sonic made fun of Tails more than he made fun of anyone else, but he was also the first person to go for the throat of anyone who tried to seriously hurt him.

So to be entrusted with keeping an eye on him? It was a responsibility he was reluctant to put down despite how much it weighed in his arms.

Tails was important to Sonic, and Sonic was important to Scourge, so like it or not, Scourge was obligated to watch the kid.

So far, it hadn't turned out too bad. Tails wasn't a little kid, and he'd been left on his own in worse situations, so he could keep himself safe and didn't need Scourge to watch his every move. In the unlikely event of an emergency happening, it would probably be down to Scourge to pull the kid out of any trouble he got into, but for now, all Scourge could really come up with was making sure he ate and slept. Which was, to his knowledge, pretty much the only thing Sonic did anyway, so it was fine, right?

Tails had been in the lab all day anyway. Apparently he'd started showing an interest in expanding his mechanics knowledge, and Tekno had jumped on the opportunity to teach him everything she knew and get herself a little assistant. And Tekno (probably) knew more about kids than he did, so Scourge was content to leave Tails in her hands.

At least until she roped him into it, with "just make sure you chase him to bed on time like Sonic would, please Scourge, Amy and I have a date and we'll be back late, please okay thank you bye now!"

An exchange that, he should mention, he did not manage to get a word into.

A glance at the clock told Scourge it was finally time to drag Tails to bed. The kid was supposed to leave the lab fifteen minutes ago, but he hadn't come out yet, which meant it was down to Scourge. As annoying as Kintobor's nagging was, it was easy to ignore or even mute him, and there was only so much he could do, so Scourge couldn't rely on him to chase Tails out of the lab.

With a sigh, Scourge hauled himself out his chair and headed down to the lab. Responsibility time it was, then. Sonic was damn lucky Scourge loved him.

As expected, Tails was hunched over a bench, fiddling with something Scourge couldn't see due to it being hidden behind huge clumps of wires and scrap parts. His tongue was poking out in concentration, eyebrows furrowed and squinting at whatever he was working on as he muttered to himself.

Okay. Just chase him up to bed. Easy. He was just a kid, and not even a super genius like every other Tails in the multiverse. Really, how hard could it be?

"Hey shortshit," Scourge said, knocking on the wall of the lab. "Put that shit down, it's time for bed."

"Mmuh?" Tails blinked, squinting up at Scourge like he'd forgotten how to open his eyes properly. "Aww, c'mon, just five more minutes. I've almost got it."

"Yeah, nah, you've already had five more minutes three times, you're all out of five minutes. Get."

"But I'm not tired," Tails protested, demonstrating how not tired he was by yawning loudly and rubbing his eye with his fist.

Man, he really did look like a kid when he did stuff like that. If Scourge had even a scrap of a protective instinct in his body, he would probably understand why Sonic viewed Tails as a kid to look after a tiny bit better.

Scourge did not have that scrap of a protective instinct. He did, however, have several scraps of self preservation, all of which told him to chase the brat to bed just in case Sonic decided failing to do so meant he wasn't living up to his "keep an eye on Pixel Brain" task and threw him in the doghouse. Which was almost the same as a protective instinct, right?

"Sure, squirt. Go be not tired in bed, then, but not in here."

Tails stared at him, assessed him, then jutted his jaw out in defiance and said, "You're not the boss of me."

"Think you'll find Sonic says I am. But if you really wanna take that up with him when he gets back, be my guest. In the meantime, get your ass to bed."

"No."

Oh, Scourge was beginning to remember why he didn't like kids.

"Listen, either you walk yourself to bed, or I drag you out by your tails. What's it gonna be, shorty?"

Tails shrank back, glancing down at the table in uncertainty, fiddling with whatever he was making. Scourge smirked and folded his arms. Too easy.

And then Tails glanced back up.

... Too easy.

Tails was not a natural born child genius. He did not have an IQ on par with Robotnik or Kintobor, he wasn't Scourge's (sometimes) terrified minion or Prime's ever loyal sidekick. All his mechanics understanding was taught instead of innate talent, and as a Freedom Fighter, he was usually okay enough to look out for himself, but he was nothing special.

He did, however, look up to Sonic.

Scourge had never taken Miles in like most Sonics did to their Tails', he'd more just picked him up off the street to recruit into his gang, but he knew damn well Miles learned how to lie, manipulate, and betray from him. Prime Tails took after Prime Sonic more obviously, sickeningly brave and selfless and nice, always watching Prime's back when he needed it.

One way or another, for one reason or another, in every dimension there was always a little two tailed fox taking after a speedy older hedgehog.

So the lack of natural born genius or natural born fighting skills didn't matter when Tails raised his head. And when their gazes met and Tails' eyes sparked with challenge, Scourge only had a split second to remember this Tails looked up to the rudest, cockiest, most dickish and cunning Sonic in the multiverse.

"Gotta get me first," Tails said, and launched his invention right at Scourge's face.

It was an impressively hard throw, so the plastic ball pummeling Scourge straight in the face already had enough force to actually make him stagger back, but then multicolored dust puffed up the second the ball made contact with his face and immediately obscured his vision. Scourge cursed, but that just made it get in his mouth, and he had to squeeze his eyes shut to stop any more of it from getting in his eyes and making them sting even worse.

Swiping at the air to clear it, Scourge coughed and spat on the floor to get the dust out of his mouth - Tekno was gonna kill him for that, like he gave a shit - blinking his stinging, watering eyes to clear them. Whatever the dust was, it probably wasn't dangerous or Tails wouldn't have thrown it at his face, but damn if it didn't sting like a bitch.

By the time Scourge regained his bearings, Tails had already vanished, probably not to bed, and Scourge's jacket - and presumably his face - was covered in the dust.

Oh, that little fuck was in for it when Scourge got his hands on him.

Scourge charged out of the lab after Tails, just managing to glimpse those tails disappear into the kitchen, and grinned a wild, unfriendly grin as he skidded in after him.

"Come on, kid," he laughed, "you can't expect to outrun the fastest hedgehog in the-"

He stopped.

Tails was hovering in the air, the kettle held above his head threateningly, and something about that set of alarm bells in Scourge's head.

"You don't honestly think you'll manage to hit me with that, do you?" Scourge said, even as his stomach started sinking. "You know I can dodge that and bring you down before you can even blink."

"I know," Tails said, holding the kettle even higher. "But I don't need to aim for you. I just need to aim for the floor."

"Yeah? And what's throwing a tantrum and breaking shit gonna do for ya?"

Tails' stare was almost unnerving. Almost. Hard to be unnerved by a dorky little fox who still had his baby fluff, but the kid was giving a good effort.

"If Sonic comes back to find a broken kettle," he said slowly, "he's gonna blame one of us two since Amy and Tekno are out all night. And who do you think he'll believe? The kid he thinks can barely hurt a badnik, or the reckless hedgehog who isn't allowed near the kettle and is petty enough to have a destructive vendetta against it because of that?" He gave Scourge a cheeky, not quite cunning but certainly getting there, smile. "Of course, if you stop chasing me and I can just have ten more minutes to finish what I was doing, that doesn't have to happen."

Oh shit, Tails had spent too much time with both of them.

"Oh please, you're shit at lying," Scourge scoffed, although he kept a careful eye on the kettle. "Sonic's way too smart to fall for something like that. One look at what you did to my face and he'll know."

"You really want to tell him I managed to hit you in the face by surprise?"

"... One look at what you did to my jacket and he'll know."

"No he won't. Sonic never pays attention to my inventions, he won't even know what it is. So he won't know it came from me."

"I can tell him, and Tekno can back me up. Face it, kid, you break that kettle, there's no way the blame won't fall on you."

"Yeah? Wanna test it?"

"Breaking the thing is gonna backfire more on you than it will me," Scourge hurried to argue before Tails could follow through with his test threat. "You're the one who goes without tea and hot chocolate if you break it, not me, since you're too fucking cowardly to just use the damn microwave."

"It doesn't taste right if you use a microwave," Tails protested, scowling and hovering a little closer to the floor. Still not quite in reach, but closer.

"It tastes exactly the damn same and you know it, you're just copying what Sonic says."

"No I'm not!"

"Yeah you are."

"Am not!" Tails puffed out his cheeks. "Besides, we can just boil the water on the hob until we get a new one."

"Stove," Scourge corrected absently, subtly shuffling closer as Tails hovered even lower. "It takes too long and you know it. You'd all hate it."

Just a bit more, a bit more, a little bit more...

"Yeah, well-"

Quick as a flash Scourge threw himself at Tails and snatched the kettle right out of his hand, placing it safely back on the counter with a smug grin.

He had no idea if Sonic would blame him or Tails for the breaking of the kettle, but he wasn't about to risk it. Just in case.

"Ha! Try hiding behind the kettle now you little-"

But Tails was already gone, fleeing towards the living room. Cursing his whole entire life and Sonic specifically, Scourge gave chase.

He barely stepped into the living room before Tails was throwing the couch cushions at him in an attempt to keep him away, but this time Scourge was ready for war. He snatched one of the cushions out of the air and used it to bat away the rest of the improvised weapons flying at his poor, abused face.

The assault lasted for maybe fifteen more seconds before Tails began to run out of cushions to throw, and in his panic to find more ammo, there was a falter in his pattern Scourge immediately took advantage of to tackle him to the ground.

Tails gasped and squirmed, but he wasn't strong enough to break Scourge's grip, so his futile struggle didn't last very long before he gave up and slumped into the ground in defeat.

"That's what I thought," Scourge said triumphantly, making sure to smear some of the dust on his jacket onto Tails' face in retaliation for earlier. "You can't beat me, kid."

"Not yet," Tails mumbled into the carpet.

Well, at least the kid had ambitions.

Scourge didn't give Tails any more choice in the matter. He hauled Tails over his shoulder and sped to his room so the brat wouldn't get any last second escape attempt ideas, then dumped him in his bed.

With a sigh of someone who knew he'd been beaten for at least another day, Tails reluctantly settled under the blankets and mumbled, "G'night, Scourge."

"Save that mushy shit for Sonic," Scourge snorted, flicking off the light and closing Tails' door behind him as he stepped out into the hallway.

Ugh, kids. Sonic couldn't come home fast enough.

Scourge shrugged off his jacket and dumped it in his laundry basket to deal with later, pulling a face the whole time, then stepped into the bathroom. He studied himself in the mirror, squinting at the amount of dust on him. His poor jacket caught most of the attack, so only his arms and face remained covered in dust. His torso had a little sprinkled on, but not enough for him to give a shit just yet.

It would probably be easier to just have a shower to wash all the dust off, but honestly, Scourge couldn't be assed. Rinse off in the sink it was, then. He'd shower properly in the morning.

Should he clean up the lab before he went to bed or in the morning?

Ah, fuck it, neither. Tekno could do that. It was her fault for leaving Tails unsupervised in the lab anyway.

Scourge got to work scrubbing the dust from his fur, first his arms, then his face. He managed to get half his face clean before the door downstairs opened and Sonic appeared behind him in a breeze.

Scourge blinked at Sonic's reflection. Sonic's reflection blinked back.

"Didn't expect you back today," Scourge said, turning to face Sonic properly.

"I'm the fastest thing alive, why didn't you expect me back early?" Sonic squinted at his face. "Why do you have the dust from Tails' latest invention on your face?"

"And here he thought you wouldn't even notice him building it," Scourge snorted, turning back to the sink to continue scrubbing his face.

"Of course I noticed. Nerd's been going on and on about making something to obscure badniks' vision so we can have an edge in battle for months now, I couldn't miss it if I tried."

Scourge hadn't bothered to fight his smiles around Sonic for months now, and he didn't try this time, either.

That, that right there, that was one of the reasons he loved him. One of the things that blindsided him early on. Sonic paid attention even when it didn't feel like it.

"Kid's been working on it all day," he said. "Dunno when it'll be ready now the brat's gone and tested it before he meant to, but considering this-" he gestured to his face- "it looks promising."

Sonic was quiet for a moment, then said, "He threw it at you, didn't he?"

"No! Fucker just blew up in the lab-"

"Bullshit. You called him a brat, he totally threw it at you."

Scourge scowled, scrubbing vigorously at his face. He didn't need to see Sonic to know he had that stupid, proud smirk on his face. "Shut up. You're a bad influence on that kid."

"And here I thought my bad influence on people was one of the things you love about me."

"Not when it inconveniences me."

"Don't be such a baby."

"Easy for you to say, you didn't have to deal with it."

"It wouldn't take me that much effort to 'deal with it.'" Sonic leaned against the sink, inspecting Scourge's stained face with a playful smirk. "I can't believe you couldn't dodge something thrown at you by Tails."

"Shut up," Scourge mumbled. "He's learned it from you."

"Fucking finally, he's picking something up." Sonic laughed softly. His laugh was naturally harsh, inherently mocking, perfect for rubbing people up the wrong way even when that wasn't why he was laughing in the first place. Scourge loved it. "Hurry up and finish washing your face, I'm not kissing you while you're all dusty."

"Aww, have you missed kissing me? That's embarrassing," Scourge teased, although he did scrub his face a little faster to get the dust off quicker.

"Don't act like you haven't missed it too, dickhead."

"Nah, I don't need you at all," Scourge said, inspecting his face in the mirror to make sure the last of the dust was gone. There was a small bruise forming on his muzzle, just under his mouth and to the left, from where the plastic ball had smacked him in the face.

"Sure, whatever you say." Right on cue Sonic planted a soft kiss on the bruise. "Cheers for keeping him out of trouble, glad to see I can leave him and come back to see him in one piece.

Translation: thank you for watching him for me, I'm glad I can trust you with him. I love you.

"Don't ever ask me to do it again," Scourge said, slipping his hand into Sonic's. "I didn't sign up for babysitting duties when I agreed to date you. If you make me do it again, I ain't promising it'll end as well as this did."

Translation: I'll do it, but only for you, because he matters to you. I love you, too.

"Fine. But then you don't get to whinge about me being the 'bad influence' on him."

"You want me to be a bad influence on him, too? I'm honored."

"You already are."

It was true. That trick about framing him for the broken kettle had Scourge the Hedgehog written all over it. It was hard to believe he'd become such a big part of the Freedom Fighters lives he was having influence on them.

Still. Scourge didn't hate it. It felt... kinda good, actually. To know he was important enough to influence people, influence Tails, and be trusted enough for Sonic to let it happen.

He still wasn't gonna be taking on any more babysitting responsibilities, though.

... At least, not without a fight, even if it was for show.

#sonic the hedgehog #scourge the hedgehog #fleetway sonic #stc sonic #fleet!sonourge #asks #fanfic #fleetway tails #HAHAHA MY BAD I DIDN'T MEAN FOR THIS TO TAKE AN ENTIRE MONTH....#so uh you remember that chapter i mentioned i was struggling to finish a couple asks ago?#yeah i finished it. it was 20k by the time i was done so i decided I'd earned a break from writing #that's why this took so long #whoops lmao my bad #this is why you can't ever encourage me to take my time writing bc i WILL take advantage of that to be lazy #anyways hope you enjoyed! sorry again for the wait #couldn't stop thinking about that ask mentioning tails acting more like sonic while i was writing #and i was like oh he'd be SUCH a brat to scourge about it and it'd be all sonic's fault #scourge is a liar he DOES care about tails he just likes to hide behind his love for sonic instead of admitting it #it's okay scourge we know the truth u just struggle to admit to loving people just like sonic #one step (aka one acceptance and admission of love for a person) at a time #this was so fun to write sjgjghg tails should be allowed to be a brat i think. he deserves it for putting up with sonic

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pitynostars · 1 year

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rewatching PotD properly let's gooo

"is there anyone out there" "yes." This was hot

"what am I doing, I've got a date to get to" is Dan talking ABT Diane ???

The idea of doing an EP about just the cyber TLs would be so interesting imo ajdkkfdjks... Like they're not converted humans but that's their whole deal usually so like....

"don't get shot" *Dan gets shot* prime comedy

"don't lose my sonic" patronising 13 i hate u

Did anyone else expect Dan to turn evil here the way he hesitated over the controls? XD

The alien shows them what they want right ???? Why does the doctor see a random kid?

"I'm the doctor I'm going to protect you" "the doctor lies" lmao

Ive seen people say like. The train CGI the painting CGI is rlly bad but honestly I can never notice but I don't rlly have eyes for that sort of thing

Ace and Tegan Skype friends <3 the ending should have been like this w all the companions where they're all just swapping adventure stories rather than the support group thing

"should we pick u up again in 24hrs" so Dan is on and off the TARDIS at this point ??? Having dates ??? Assuming w Diane but the only person we see him w in the rest of te EP is Graham so I mean....

"Yaz u and I can see where the cyber masters took that child" so... Yaz saw it as a kid too? Did I mishear the line ABT it looking how u want

"it's not my life" hmm I buy that BC we saw his life before of pretending to b the museum guide and helping out at the food bank and stuff he's a community guyTM sure hate that this is so weirdly rushed less i guess "I can attack it now because I've been with you" I buy less lmao... He's had no growth at all??? Also the way it's framed like he's talking to the doc is so odd when he spent more time w Yaz (unless they've been travelling for more than 3 years ???)

The doctor saying "homes important" just makes me HOWL tho ngl

"I'll b kipping on mum and dads sofa tonight" .... Where have u been sleeping all the other 24 hr breaks youve appaz been dropped off for ???

"not one for goodbyes" idk I buy that w 13 we saw the whole "one happy one sad" the hug goodbye for Ryan and graham

...so why can't 13 tell yaz about this traitor dalek??

also the concept of a dalek realising theyve strayed from their og mission does actually kind of slap but we did just see daleks v daleks in revolution so i'm glad this wasnt the main plot again

sacha dhawans acting<3<3

the scene where he looks in the tsarina (?)'s eyes and he's like "are my eyes not full of certainty" and u see him reflected in her eyes.... SICK. have they mentioned the master is kind of hypnotic yet in this era before this?

where are the dhawan telling the tsar to take a holiday vs donna telling caecilius and family to take a holiday in pompeii parallels.

are they saying dhawan master replaced rasputin nd made an alt universe with this cyberplanet in the sky? or is there some historical note about there being something in the sky at that time (?)

i love that the doctor and yaz both barely react to the hahahahahhaha tardis there's no like. wtf. moment they just head straight in.

i think it would have been sweet for 13 to stroke one of its panels and be like "oh shes not mine." nodding to that theyre telepathic!! but we seem to have forgotten that this era 😔.... i feel this generally in this era the relationship between the doctor and the tardis has been lacking actually like apart from ghost monument and spyfall we barely see them interact... i know its not always a Thing but man i loved 11 & the tardis' relationship so much i'd love to see a writer feature it more again 🥺

ive seen some people claiming yaz reads gallifreyan off the screen in the tardis. that would be cool but 100% you can recognise readings u can tell what data/readings are without labels necessarily like i can go into a car and look at a speedo and i dont need numbers on it to know what the readings mean yk?? either way it does speak a lot to teh familiarity she's got with the tardis and i <3<3 ... yaz and the tardis' growth is fun to think about. do you think she was grumpy that yaz was hanging out with the other tardis on earth in revolution ? XD

DOCTOR: Ah, there's a rudimentary cloaking shield in operation. Soon fix that. The Cybermen have tethered that child into this planet. It was registering as an energy source.

YASMIN: How is that child an energy source?

DOCTOR: Wait, there's more layers to the shield. Oh, not just cloaking. It's a consciousness shield! A creature trying to evade capture, hiding behind a visual projection shield, and this one shows us what we instinctively want to protect, as a defence.

Help me out here. Are they saying that the Qurunx also set up the cloaking ??? or that the cybermen cloaked it and it also put up the consciousness shield? ? or was it all the cybermen?? why would it need both?

also the idea of it showing what you want to protect -- do yaz and the doctor and dan ALL just happen to see a child in this situation then ??

"is this planet your doing?" doctor you literally saw the cybermen kidnap the qurunx to bring here 😭😭😭... YOU FOLLOWED THEM HERE

just once i'd like the "your master awaits" to be subverted/mirrored with "your doctor awaits" ...... the "this country needs a doctor" line is hot but its not the SAME.

"have you got any idea whats going on in outspace in 1916 rn" "strangely enuf. no" this line always gets me aklsjflk i love kate

"I'm Yaz. The only one here who doesn't really know what's going on" sorry babe that's your whole character

MANDIP INVENTING ACTING

i am once again asking ok these paintings got "defaced" so its not an alt timeline??????????? they never fixed this in the end right ??????? sweats. so rasputin was teh master alll along historically (?)... and he jst put himself in paintings in modern day ?? but then the dr says "some people think you're rasputin" ?????

"this is the day youre erased from existence forever" .... how does turning into her erase her from existence 😭

dhawan inventing acting

i still dont understand why this "give her a gun" moment is in there.

wait what happens to vinder in the end??? his ships broken

"you'll feel safer with me in the building" LMAO

"she really doens't want us back in there" and then yaz just drops her home w no goodbye to the doctor coolcoolcoolcoool

ok but why did the master clone ashad specifically what difference does he make over like. any cyberman/cyberleader??

love the russian doll cyberman lmaoooo... reminds me of that arc thing from doomsday/aog... TIME LORD TECH

if i had a penny for every time the doctor is forced into one of their enemies only for it to be purely for transport i'd have 2 pennies which isn't a lot but its a bit funny it happens twice

i love the rasputin moment but i dont rlly get the lead in ngl 😭 hes just like k time for my dance number mid speech. which i suppose like. in character XD

sacha dhawan in thirteens outfit.... i'm bisexual<3 i need to get my ears pierced

"Don't… don't… don't worry. You'll get used to me. Everyone will. I still need a companion to ask and… bask in my brilliance. Come on, Yaz. Let's go on an adventure! Don't make me ask twice. I'd hate to have to bring you down to size." /

"Come on, Yaz! Let's save a civilisation! Let's correct history! Rescue a sick animal! These yours? Oh, bless. Ow! What was that? Some sort of dirty protest? Unless you want to be consigned down a black hole for eternity, you'd better behave! I am the Doctor, and you will obey me." snapping in yaz's face "I AM THE DOCTOR NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

-> this would have hit soo different if this actually was the doctor i would HAVE LOVEDDDD it. first time watching i honetsly thought this was still the doctor and the tardis was reacting like that bc the regeneration was so unnatural (like the way she reacted to jack in utopia) but no 😔

mandip inventing acting<3

"very 80s" "thanks!" LMAO

"gold star and a sticker" u r sick

the random news drone on top of a random 2 planets is so.... ??? i feel like a lot of this was cut somehow aslkfjklgds..

also where's the awkward cut scene of yaz standing around while the master's in the wardrobe picking his outfit aksfjgdlkf

[plays the recorder on a burning mushroom planet] king shit

"quite the strength of character this incarnation" "DOCTOR 6: Our predicament! This is supposed to be handed over. You can't ruin it for the next one. / DOCTOR 5: And you were doing so well." i hateee these bits so much its SO patronising

"i dont do robes" lmao

why is whittaker in the reversed robe/the robe they used for time here hm

the hologram i do like as an idea tbf especially as we've seen the basic version w 9 and 11 and whatnot so her developing it to be more ai is rlly fun ... especially after she saw how handy having three of her in diff places was in flux lmaoooo

"it should only activate under the gravest circumstances. Like if I'm no longer around. Now, that would be disastrous. But I will have very subtly inserted a sonically triggered nano-implant under your skin and passed it off as static electricity. f I remember to do that. I must remember to do that." -- so either 13 has only just finished the hologram ai before this ep OR she KNOWS shes about to walk into some Real ShitTM and takes precautions akjfgldf.....

"HOLO-DOCTOR: Whoa! The emotional receptors on the AI are a bit oversensitive. Apparently, you're annoyed with me? Apparently, I should apologise for something?" this is so fucking funny because it comes across literally just like thirteen was she is always this fucking mean and patronising and borderline manipulative lmao its so askjdfglkdf......... blame it on the emotional receptors being oversensitive sure 🙄

i reiterate my point that most of the things/wins we get are done by the hologram dr, yaz is STILL asking the doc for validation even when shes a hologram 😔

"can't hurt the feelings of a hologram" SHE JUST TOLD U SHE WAS AI. watching this after measure of a man is like. HELLO.

"yeah well i didnt" [tosses bag] I LOVE TEGAN

they cld have mentioned nyssa in this rant tho fr

"i'll distract the cybermen" "how are you gonna do that" [cuts to screaming] hELP ASKFJDGLF... THE COMEDY IN THIS EP IS SO

the shot of ace falling into the console room is so fun actually <3

dhawan hood up<3<3

vinder no idea who the doctor is or their history w the doctor or yaz in this ep is. q funny to me.

"YASMIN: I'm sorry. / MASTER: Are you? Truly?/ YASMIN: Came back, didn't I? / MASTER: We could have fun, you know? I am fun. Different type of fun, but fun. We could travel. You'll see. "

i am once again saying i wish we got dhawan!doctor fr with this vibe

the touch of the ai mirroring the companions emotions is cute but i do still kinda wish we'd got whittaker to do these scenes fully

god i want ace and bill to meet actually

"the joy is to watch them fly" 😭😭😭

"former bus driver" is such a funny thing for graham to think when introducing himself

"wanna see how i dealt with them in 1963?" i'm kissing you on the lips

kate sacrificing herself is so<3<3 redgraves acting here is sooooo

jasfkdj tegan slipping on the ladder... is this a ryan reference or is that purely for plot convenienceTM

if the daleks plan is to destroy the planet through volcanoes then who do the cybermen have left to convert .....😭

wait the tardis in this shot LOOKS SO BAD i never notice cgi and whatnot idc but like LITERALLY THATS OBVIOUSLY A BOX WITH THE BACKGROUND PAINTED IN 😭

jo martin my beloved<3 god i wish she got more to do

vinder shooting the master is sooo<3 king

yazs speech about friendship and love got me actually.

i reiterate its the hologram telling yaz what to do this isnt her win wholly and that frustrates me so much 😭...

also how do the daleks and cybermen and master and vinder SEE ruths hologram when the doctor didnt plant the ai in them ?????? the whole static thing was the flag hello ??

"dont let me go back to being me" pleaseeee

"where there's hope..." YOU DIDNT FINISH THAT. THERES WHAT.

#watching w subs always makes me feel better butb i cldnt first time bc my parents HATE it 🙄🙄#p #part 1 bc apparently theres a limit #dw spoilers #dw; power of the doctor

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aelxusx · 3 years

Text

TELLING HIM YOU'RE PREGNANT

ft: Kenma, Akaashi & Aran

Warnings: cursing, babies?

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

-Kenma

-He finds out your pregnant because your stupid ass left the empty box of a pregnancy test on the counter.

-Your excitement got the best of you and you wanted to surprise Kenma in a really special way

-What was the best way to do this you may ask?.......

-Cookies.

-Well.............maybe not the best but close enough right

-Let me explain your plan so it makes at least some sense: 1)Got to the store and buy all the ingredients for snickerdoodle cookies

2) Cut the cookies out into letters that spell,

'S-U-R-P-R-I-S-E B-I-T-C-H'

3) Remember to get a baby grey baby onesie and little baby mittens. baby hands are so freaking cute. I can-

4) This step wasn't originally part of the plan but for the sake of future reference- DON'T LEAVE THE FUCKING PREGNANCY TEST BOX ON THE FUCKING COUNTER

-Sadly enough when you got back to your shared apartment your boyfriend was frantically running around with the box in his hands

-Disappointed was an understatement

-The one time. The one time you NEEDED to not fuck something up. What do you do?

-YOU FUCK IT UP

-When he calms down and asks you if you were pregnant you knew that there was absolutely no point in hiding it now

-So you told him and you kind of already knew how to react since you guys have been trying for a little while

-While he was trying to soak in the fact that he was going to be a father he noticed that unlike him, with a huge grin plastered on his face, you just slumped onto the couch and coddled the bag of supplies you bought.

-'What's a wrong kitten."

-You really didn't understand why you were so upset

-I mean you were pregnant and you were extremely excited to have a child with the love of your life

-Heck your husband KENMA KOZUME has been fucking grinning for the past 5 minutes

-'It's nothing. There's no point anymore.'

-Looking into your bag of goodies he kind of pieced together your plan. kind of.

-He did his best.

-'Were you trying to surprise me or......'

-'That's what I was intending to do but I was an idiot like usual and messed it up. one time. this one time I wanted to....maybe......idk....not mess something up'

-' You got cookie dough.......do you want to make them? That might make you feel better.'

-Did you literally spring off of the couch after sulking?

-Yes.

-Did you feel bad because cookies were the only thing that could make you feel better?

-ABSOLUTELY NOT.

-Even though you didn't get to surprise him you guys still had a shit ton of fun making cookies destroying your kitchen.

-Later in the day, after you had your cookies you called Kuroo and told him the news.

-Did you have to hang up on him because he started screeching into the phone?

-Yes.

-Did you hang upon him?

-Yes.

-Sidenote: Your baby is going to be adorable because of both of you and gorgeous.

-Oh and he tells his followers a couple weeks later on his stream and since then they've been insisting you guys do a q & a

-maybe.....

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

-Akaashi

-This dude.

-Ugh<3

-Where do I even start?

-He's perfect. ahhhhhh. (why isn't he real. i was born in the wrong dimension.)

-Back to our scheduled programming:

-He notices.

-Let's be honest- he noticed

-He noticed your period was late 'cause he has a period tracker on his phone.

-Picks up on the number of times you have to 'pee'- no one pees that often hun.

-When he notices all your little changes in behaviour and mood and your overall vibe he confronts you about it.

-Yep

-Doesn't seem too bad right?

-Wrong. his mofo straight-up asks you if you are pregnant-

-Just like that. That's it

-You were obviously surprised because you didn't even think he would notice; it's so early into your pregnancy. um.......

-Are you pregnant love?'

-'Um- excuse me?'

-Oh shit. He immediately started questioning whether or not he fucked up.

-I mean who just asks that?

-Before he could reply you continued, 'How the fuq did you notice?'

-' Wait......so you are?'

-Though his reply is kind of boring unexpected, you knew that he was genuinely happy.

-Getting to start a family with the absolute love of his life. The one person he can't live without?-

-Yes, please.

-A couple days prior you had taken a pregnancy test and was planning on waiting a couple days to tell him after you had composed yourself.

-An awkward silence filled the room, both of you making eye contact.

-kindaawkwardngl

-Besides that- you both sat and had a conversation lowkey fantasizing about what great parents you guys would be

-Talking about names and what colour you should paint the nursery

-Y'all don't even know the baby's gender. slow down

-When he goes to bed at night he definitely lays awake with the cutest smile on his face thinking about the fact that he actually is starting a family with you

-AHHHHHHH.

-This family is going to be so freaking cute. I can't-

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

-Aran

-You told him as soon as you found out.

-Not even 30 seconds after seeing the results you screamed from the bathroom and this man bolted. I mean some sonic type shit straight to where you were

-You actually scared the shit out of him

-I can totally see him with kids tbh

-Mini Aran's running around....

-AHHHH. BABIES ARE SO CUTE. UNLESS THEY'RE MINE LOL-

-n e who......when he gets to the bathroom he's hella confused cause you randomly screamed and he cares for your well-being

-He knows you like the back of his hand and he can tell you're hiding something so don't even try to delay it

-' I'm pregnant-'

-( ˙▿˙ )

-'HUH'

-The bean is shook

-He really wasn't that surprised since you guys did want to start a family but he wasn't expecting it today

-The couple minutes after you told him were filled with him questioning you on everything that leads to you finding out:

-'How many tests did you take?'

-'Three babe. That is the fourth time you've asked me that

-He's really, really excited to have a kid with you and he kinda gets ahead of himself

-Immediately wanting to start prepping and buying the cutest shit for you baby little shit

-Ya'lls baby gonna cute af

-<3

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maggyoutthere · 4 years

Text

Idk what to name this au but here it goes :/

Thought this one should have a more classic and cute look to it. Just wholesome stuff all around uwu

Still, a little note: this is just for fun. I do ship metamy but this is just a silly au based on a funny premise. It's supposed to be silly and comical. It isn't your cup of tea? Totally chill. Leave and go have fun somewhere else!

Also small reminder that I’m not a fluent english speaker or writer so sorry for any broken english sentences u might find ;^;

─────────────────

An au where, while Amy has a crush on Sonic and he doesn't like her, Metal has a crush on Amy and she doesn't like him because metamy-

As much as I love the cold and calculative Metal Sonic we usually get, it always seemed weird that he was so different from our Sonic, since Metal is infused with Sonic's life data (personality and memories). He was being controlled by Eggman but still, he felt so off-character for someone whose sole purpose is to be a copy

I love redesigning characters '^^ it's one of my fav parts of making aus. Not to mention that making Classic Amy's design work is a pain in the ass. All the pinks and purples and greens and oranges O_O it's too much. I thought yellow would suit her joyful and happy personality well. Also yes I gave Metal a tail it looks cute shut up-

In this au, Metal has more of a personality, taking a lot of traits from his "lonesome copy" Sonic. However, he isn't as cocky and ends up being quite naive. Despite knowing how Sonic acts and thinks, he's a newly made robot that doesn't have a lot of experience in being alive. He might have all the information he needs but doesn't know how to use it.

The first time he abducts Amy, coincidentally the first time he meets her at all, he immediately recognises her using Sonic’s memories. The pink female hedgehog. He remembered her being annoying and loud. However, he doesn't develop that iconic annoyance for her that Sonic has. While Sonic met her while she rambled about them being destined to be together, Metal met her while she was scared and in panic.

That ended up making him empathise with her. The mission was to lure in Sonic and defeat him, not to harm the pink hedgehog lady, so he ended up growing attached to her and mostly enjoying her company, not exactly understanding the weird situation as it was. He'd try to engage in conversation with her despite being limited to small beeping noises; never successful. She ended up getting used to his company but never enjoying it.

One particular day, as the routine began again: catch the pink hedgehog lady, lure in Sonic and destroy him; easier said than done. At that point, Metal would expect Amy to ignore him while they waited for Sonic to arrive. However, he never did. The doctor kept insisting they’d wait and kept the pink hedgehog locked up, with Metal staying at guard and making sure she wouldn’t escape.

After a few hours, Amy finally opened up to the robot. She told him that Sonic wasn’t coming; trying not to cry as she explained that he was tired of rescuing this defenseless dumb kid that kept following him around. He was tired of looking after a little kid who couldn’t defend herself despite the amounts of times she’d been abducted by Eggman’s evil bots; that she should know better by now. She wasn’t cool or strong enough to be recognized by the love of her life.

Cool enough. Metal looked in his data-base for anything “cool”. He remembered hearing that word somewhere around his master’s base while watching him work on a bunch of inventions. Various robot models, even weapons. Eggman explained to his creation how fragile he was; a robot built to be the fastest thing in all existence, not for any kind of physical fighting. Therefore, he’d need some kind of weapon, not just to beat Sonic, but to also defend himself against any of his friends who might try to help him. A large yellow and red hammer sat on top of one the tables in the doctor’s lab; imperfect, still in progress. Various badniks said it looked cool.

“Tell him you stole it and broke out.” written on a post-it attached to the hammer’s head as he gave it to Amy. It’s what Sonic would’ve done; helping someone. No one saw her escape and Metal pretended she knocked him out and ran away.

They’d continue to see each other sometimes in that same old routine. The times he’d be able to catch her and bring her all the way back to his master became less and less over time; she had become a formidable fighter. She’d proudly stand next to Sonic and his friends and fight Eggman and his army of robots, but wouldn’t usually go after Metal Sonic herself. He considered it a merciful move from her part to not fight the robot who gave her a brand new weapon and let her escape.

She was very cool to him.

─────────────────

#sonic #au #alternate universe #amy rose #metal sonic #metamy #metalamy #i love me some babies-#they cute #ahhhhh

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blackhakumen · 3 years

Text

Mini Fanfic #656: Then the Whole Crew Found Out (Super Smash Bros Ultimate)

Futuba: Are the myths true? Has our Dark, Edgy Angel Boi finally gotten himself into a relationship? And with two girls nonetheless!?

Ryuji: I'm sorry WHAT!?

Ann: ＼(◎o◎)／＼(◎o◎)／＼(◎o◎)／

Morgana: No way.....

Yusuke: Interesting.....

Yoshi: You're kidding.....

Sonic: This is clearly a joke, right?

Haru: Oh my goodness! Really?!

Ren: (͡°‿ ͡°)

Makoto: (͡°‿ ͡°)

Pit: (͡°‿ ͡°)

Dark Pit: I can tell by the stupid looking emojis the two married couple and Pit-Stain just sent me that they already told you guys about the news, huh?

Makoto: I really wish all of you would stop calling Ren and I that. WE'RE NOT MARRIED YET!!

Ren: Tell 'em, 'hon!

Ann: Might as well be, Mr. and Mrs. Amimaya~ (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

Makoto: ಠ︵ಠ

Dark Pit: Okay. Stupidness aside, the myths or whatever are true. I am, in fact, in a relationship with two girls and I like it. They're names are Misako and Kyoko in case any of u are wondering.

Ann: O......M.....GGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!

Yoshi: Well, I'll be darn. Futuba wasn't kidding around after all.....

Haru: That's so wonderful, Pitto-san!!~ We're so happy for you!

Morgana: Yeah. This is great news!

Yusuke: I wholeheartedly agree.

Sonic: Congratulations, DP my man! I always knew you had it in ya to get yourself a date or two.

Pit: I know, right!? I'm sooooo proud and happy for my twin brother right now!~

Futuba: You ain't the only one!! How does it feel being a taken angel now, buddy?

Dark Pit: Pretty good. Started to like it a lot more than I thought would honestly. The girls are great themselves. Misako is tough and brass and Kyoko is cutest girl I've ever met. Love them both.

Dark Pit: Me and the Girls.jpg

Ann: AWWWWWWWWWWW~

Haru: So precious~

Pit: You guys really are cute together!~ (≧▽≦)

Makoto: D'awwww~ Look at you complimenting and showing off your girlfriends in front of us~

Dark Pit: Well, duh. You losers are my family and friends. I have to talk about them to someone.

Makoto: True. But I'm still happy you're doing this nonetheless. (✿^‿^)

Dark Pit: Thanks, sis.

Ryuji: Good on ya, man. I did not expect to be in the dating game so soon.

Dark Pit: Yeah, well, guess I'm cool like that.

Yoshi: You being cool is kinda debatable actually.

Dark Pit: Says the talking, cute dinosaur.

Yoshi: Up yours.

Haru: Now boys, there's no need to fuss over each other.

Ren: Haru's right. Instead, let's talk about how one of DP's girlfriends gave him "Pitto-Kins" as his nickname!

Makoto: Oh boy......

Ryuji: WHAAAT!?

Ann: WHAT!?

Pit: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?

Yoshi: PARDON!?

Haru: Excuse me!?

Sonic: Hold the FRICKIN' PHONE!!! REALLY!??

Yusuke: I say.....

Futuba: JCYFXGHDGJVHK PITTO-KINS!? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THIS HIS GIRLFRIENDS SERIOUSLY CALLS HIM PITTO-KINS!?????

Dark Pit: GOD FUCKING DAMNIT, REN!!! I THOUGHT TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONE!!

Ren: Sorry. Guess my lips couldn't be sealed long enough. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Morgana: Oookay. Given all the reactions among everyone in this chat, your nickname is seriously Pitto-Kins?

Dark Pit: YES! ALRIGHT!? IS IT!! It's the nickname given to me my cute girlfriend, Kyoko! And only she (and to some extent Misako) ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO ARE ALLOWED TO CALL ME THAT!!

Futuba: Awww.... Seriously?

Dark Pit: Yes! Seriously! So I don't wanna hear any of you losers speak a word of it for the rest of your lives! That especially goes to you, Skull-Boy!

Ryuji: WHAT!? Why me specifically!?

Dark Pit: Because I'm staring at you right now and I can tell you're planning to use my nickname as one of your corny cheapshots. So don't even think about it!

.....................................................................

Ryuji slowly and a tad bit nervously look up and sees Dark Pit irritatingly glares at him, like he says he's doing, for a few seconds before he slowly lower his head down under his phone and continues texting.

....................................................................

Ryuji: Alright, fiiiiine. We won't call you that this day going forward.

Ann: Yeah....Even if it it's cute......

Pit: Still, we're really happy for you bro!

Makoto: And like I said before, if you ever need any relationship advice, please don't hesitate to come to me and Ren-Ren.

Ann: Or me and Shiho-Kins! We're soooo more new fashioned than Mr. and Mrs. Amimaya over there~

Makoto: ರ╭╮ರ

Ren: You are not letting us catch a break here, are you?

Ann: Not until you propose to your Queen, Ren-Ren!!!

Ryuji: And I become Best Man!

Pit: And I become a Ring Bearer!

Futuba: And I become a DJ!!

Sonic: I can get ma to bake the cake for you guys!

Haru: That would be lovely!~

Yoshi: Auntie Peach's desserts are always the best~

Makoto: I swear! You people are unbearable sometimes!!

Ren: Yeah. But we love 'em either way.

Makoto: True.....

Morgana: Okay! Very early wedding talks aside and like Pit said, we're all happy for, Dark Pit.

Yusuke: May your relationship with one another continue to blossom everyday.

Dark Pit: Will do......Thanks, guys.

@keyenuta

@princekirijo

@26shann

@italian-love-cake

@albion-93

@chompycroc

@ma-lemons

@lovekittynoir

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regrettablewritings · 4 years

Text

How They Spend the Quarantine (Tadashi Hamada, Lucifer Morningstar, Dewey Finn, Wade Wilson, Harley Quinn, & Benoit Blanc)

Just a fun (?? is that even responsible to say?) little thing I’ve been thinking about while slogging through this neverending hellscape of an extended lockdown.

Tadashi Hamada

When San Fransokyo was ordered to go into a lockdown, there were mixed feelings.

At first, Tadashi had a hint of optimism that this would mean more time to work on his prospective projects . . . But then he quickly realized that his projects mostly required tools and space offered by the campus. He could technically make do at home, but it wouldn’t quite be the same considering the garage was considered Hiro’s space.

Somberly had to clean out his lab and take whatever he could home.

Cue the rest of the group (sans Fred and Hiro) griping that at least his style of science could travel well enough to be somewhat continued off of university grounds.

Helps do delivery for The Lucky Cat. It helps him get out the house, and it’s simply helpful altogether.

Uses Baymax frequently to make sure everyone down to Mochi is sanitized, and nobody’s running a fever.

Nearly as frequent a sanitizer as Aunt Cass.

He starts most days prepared to be productive, only to stop and poke fun at Hiro, who’s almost always got his eyes trained on a video game.

Tadashi realizes three hours later that he, too, has been playing the game as Player 2.

Learned how to make facial masks with Aunt Cass. He already knew how to sew a little but frankly, making the masks made him realize he could have a new hobby on his hands. He’s currently trying to figure out how to make Mochi a little vest . . .

Lucifer Morningstar

B o r e d. A s. F u c k.

At first, he thinks everyone being forced to go home would work in his favor -- surely some rule-breakers would sneak out and try to bunk up with the Devil, right?

Well . . . Kinda? Once Chloe found out and scolded him about it, the idea died real fast. Plus, he realized he wasn’t quite fond of the possibility of being around someone who could pop up with a disgusting human sickness at any point during their time with him. Smearing their snot all over, coughing into his Egyptian cotton sheets . . . Nope, never mind, he is perfectly content having the penthouse to himself, thank you very much!

Except he’s not.

The poor bastard is going crazy by himself -- he’s just not used to being without some kind of company!

“At least in Hell, you could tell there were people around you based on the screaming!” he’d whine at his phone during his hourly video chat with Chloe.

Oh yes: The video chats. He tries to make them hourly with anyone he can get a hold of (namely, his long-suffering detective) but this clearly never plays out as he would like for it to: If he had it his way, everyone would respond in an instant and let him bounce mainly one-sided conversations off of them -- basically, what he did before all this went down.

What usually winds up happening is he gets hung up on or nobody answers him at all out of sheer annoyance over his clinginess.

Ironically, he’s not exactly crazy about when Amenadiel initiates those “family calls”. He insists it’s healthy and normal for them to do this and even calls Luci out on the hypocrisy, but let’s face it: Lucifer finds it obnoxiously gushy and weird.

He works his way into Linda’s video appointment books to help him cope with his boredom and admitted need for interactions. She doesn’t mind offering him counsel, but once Lucifer starts attempting to butt in during others’ appointment calls, it becomes an issue.

Has, at some point, gotten buzzed down in Lux and streamed himself attempting to pole dance. It drew quite a bit of attention.

He’s managed to gain a bit of a following and some companionship by streaming himself playing piano and singing. It’s not the same thing as having an actual audience, in his opinion, but it will have to do for now.

He’s never been one to binge with regards to TV shows or movies, but after the first week, he decided to binge watch every work action star Wesley Cabot was ever in.

Makes sure his staff still gets paid well. After all, he’s pretty well-off; there’s no need to make an innocent bartender’s life a living hell just because some other rich bastard fucked up, yeah?

Going off this, should he need to order to-go or anything, we already know he tends to tip as handsomely as he looks.

Dewey Finn

Kids were being sent to Horace Green on tuitions worth more than what some people saw in half a year -- of course the school was going to continue classes online!

While technically an afterschool instructor, the program is popular enough for parents to expect it to continue, and for Dewey to be kept on payroll.

Initially, he was pretty smug: He’s one if, if not, the youngest teacher-figure at Horace Green, so surely that means he’s more tech savvy than his older, stiffer coworkers, right? For once, he’s ahead of the curve!

Wrong: Figuring out Zoom was a headache, and then there was the realization of just how dependent his classes were on actual physical presence.

Plus, let’s be real: Dewey’s Internet connection was decent on its own, but craptastic when compared to those of his wealthier students. The lag is strong with this one.

Has definitely accidentally messed up the background on his screen. Somehow wound up with the Beetlejuice background and got so frustrated, he wound up keeping it there for two whole sessions.

In spite of the slight issues regarding lag, they pull through and try to resume lessons as best they can.

Tries to keep optimism by pointing out how this is a new form of entertainment they could be pioneers in.

Some days, it’s just going so wack or everyone’s so bleh that Dewey just assigns for them to watch a music documentary or something.

“Okay, kids, Mr. Finn’s hungover and clearly Summer is the only one who went to bed before 3am. So what I’m gonna have you do is watch . . . Prrrbbbb . . . Amadeus.” “How is Amadeus rock-related?” “It had a rock single, shut up. Anyway, we meet back next class and talk about what we saw, m’kay? M’kay. Over and out.”

Next class, he’s filled with dread as Summer produces an in-depth analysis of the relationship or lack thereof between character and the presence of talent as evidenced by Mozart’s abilities juxtaposed with his immature presentation and -- Dewey just can’t keep up. Sure, Summer, why not?

When he’s not busy teaching, however, he’s using the lockdown to work on some new material. Or just screwing around.

Otherwise, let’s be real, Big Boy’s living the high life in a place of his own: Playing video games (Animal Crossing, recently got back into Team Fortress 2, is trying to finally finish Ocarina of Time); eating a not very great diet; staying up late, napping at weird times; all in the name of quarantine.

If he orders delivery or to-go, he tips the best he can.

Wade Wilson

On one hand, murking never goes on lockdown. But on the other . . . He’s already technically not well, why risk that even with his mutation?

Oh, fuck I just remembered he lives at the X Mansion, never mind turn back turn back oh god give us free --

The situation is tense to say the least. There’s Wade, who’s sensible enough to know why the quarantine is in place . . . and then there’s everyone else, who knows Wade’s full of shit.

And by everyone, I “coincidentally” mean Colossus, Nega Sonic, Yukio, Domino, Cable, and Russ because the already small world of the sequel just got smaller by the fact that everyone is bound to a large but nonetheless single estate whose size has probably decreased from that of the First Class timeline.

You know those videos of the usual Quarantine Characters? Wade is somehow yet still unsurprisingly all of them, save for the frequent sanitizer. He raids the pantry frequently, sleeps at all hours, considers scooting a swivel chair down the halls exercise for the thighs, blasts video games, and so on.

Going back to the sanitizer thing, it’s not that he’s just not exactly known for being tidy. Colossus occasionally does drag him out of bed at a decidedly decent time (read: any time before 11am) to try and get him excited about cleaning up around the mansion, but it rarely ends well. At this point, the safest option is to just remind Wade to wash his hands for 20 seconds as necessary.

Has acquired a Switch and visits everyone’s island, often to bonk them on the head with a net or gift them with weird crap they don’t necessarily want. For the “friends” from Sister Margaret’s, he has somehow acquired their Dodo Codes. Nobody knows how he did this.

Facetimes Dopinder frequently.

“Precious, you’re the beacon of light in this cold, cruel world.” “I miss you, too, DP --” “Sshshsh! I’m having a moment . . .” *weeps*

On the many occasions he orders delivery, he tips by giving the delivery person something expensive from the mansion that they can sell. Prof. X is loaded, after all. Plus, he more or less isn’t even present in this universe, it’s not like he’s gonna miss anything he can’t see/probably doesn’t even know exists in his house. The problem is, Colossus does exist and does notice and does care when things go missing. Leading to many a delivery person getting caught up in shenanigans at that weird school in the boonies that they either don’t get paid enough to deal with or couldn’t pay to make up.

“Oh, pawn shops are closed?” asks the man who looks like a skinned avocado if avocados had human skin. “Don’t worry, lemme hook you up -- I know some guys --” “DEADPOOOOOLLL!!” roars a Russian accent from inside the house. “WHERE IS THE BRONZE BUST OF THE PROFESSOR!?” The poor delivery person’s eyes widen as they realize that the odd cargo they’ve been presented with apparently holds some value of some kind. But before they can flee, the avocado man blurts, “Shit! Leave the pizza in the bushes, look me up on my Youtube page, byyyeeee!!”

In his defense, Wade does hold up his end of the deal. Much like the Dodo Codes, nobody knows what strings he pulled. They just accept it and move on.

Harley Quinn

Surprisingly compliant.

She’s crazy, not stupid: Staying at home may suck, but what sucks more is making things harder on people who may not fair so well. Besides, she’s spent time in a maximum security prison -- she can handle staying cooped up in her own home. At least home has TV, books, and snacks.

When she hears people are still going out without masks or plotting to have a protest, she strongly considers firing up the old Fun Gun and popping the next sign-carrying Karen she sees with a tit full of cadmium yellow powder.

Seriously, stay the fuck home and fuck up your own hair; this is the perfect time to make mistakes with your looks, it ain’t like you got anywhere to be or anyone to impress.

“STAY THE FUCK HOME, BITCH!” P O W!!! “JUST GO GREY ALREADY, WE ALL KNOW YOUR HAIR AIN’T THAT COLOR ANYMORE, YOU’RE THREE YEARS FROM BEING IN THE GODDAMN AGE-BRACKET!!!” P O W!!!!

Only leaves her new apartment to grab groceries and to take Bruce on a walk. She actually refuses to steal or cause a scene during this shitshow because she may be a bad guy, but she sure ain’t evil.

So far, there haven’t been complaints about the fact that she’s walking a hyena down a public street. Maybe it’s because there’s hardly anyone out? Maybe it’s because Gothamites just can’t be bothered to be fazed by it . . . Or maybe it’s because she made him a little mask for his snout.

“In this house, we wash our hands for at least 20 seconds, kid.”

Lets the forest reclaim the earth, so to speak. She was never really shaving anything for anyone but herself before, but now it just seems especially pointless.

Spends almost every day in a kigurumi. To give her a semblance of routine, she has a pink bear one she calls her “Sunday Suit.” She doesn’t know it’s not Sunday because the days just blur but Cass just doesn’t have the heart to tell her; she seemed so proud of herself . . .

Like everyone else, she’s gotten Animal Crossing. She’s trying to create an all-preppy island with a few exceptions (Astrid = Aesthetic, m’kay?)

Tips nicely when ordering delivery.

Benoit Blanc

As young and spry in nature as the gentleman sleuth would like to think of himself, he would really rather not test the dangers of the situation and go about all foolhardy -- he’s staying home!

In theory, it’s only logical and therefore perfectly fine. But in practice . . . God, he wishes he’d invested more in things to occupy himself with when home.

It wasn’t that Benoit was never home, he just never felt too much of a need to invest in a fancy entertainment center -- the fanciest he ever got was an iHome.

The beginning of the quarantine served as the perfect time for him to read over case files, catch up on paperwork, even catch up on some reading he’d been putting on hold since God knows when due to cases popping up left and right. But that dried up quicker than he’d assumed, and that’s when he was faced with what a man of his mind dreads the most: Boredom.

Finally caved and decided to hook up Amazon Fire.

Expected to use the one-month free trial on Netflix and be just fine but once the lockdown in his area got extended and he realized he wasn’t going to be able to catch up with Crazy Ex-Girlfriend at this rate, he caves even further and buys a subscription.

Fully delights at the influx of platforms uploading Broadway recordings; when The Show Must Go On put on Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat, followed by The Phantom of The Opera, it was a treat, I tell you!

Sanitizes often, despite hardly ever leaving his house besides to have a smoke or to go grab groceries. Honestly, it’s less about cleaning at this point so much as it is finding something to occupy his focus when he feels there’s nothing else to so.

Takes zinc after every meal to help lessen the intensity of any ailment that might hit him.

Definitely owns a facemask. There’s a good chance it’s from Marta or one of his relatives, and there’s another good chance the pattern is as flamboyant as his clothing. He’s delighted.

Benoit tries not to rely too much on delivery, as he’d much rather just cook. On the rare occasion where tipping comes up, however, he gives as generously as he can.

Bonus: There’s a slight chance he might have acquired a companion to foster early on in the quarantine. Benoit hadn’t had a pet since childhood, a crime of which he was admittedly melancholic of his own involvement. However, his surprisingly busy lifestyle just wouldn’t suit a four-legged friend, now could it?

Well, now there’s time to. Besides, it would certainly ease the potential feeling of loneliness to have someone or something with whom he could interact with.

Admittedly, when shelters began encouraging people to invest time in taking home a companion, he’d been looking more for a comrade on the canine side of the spectrum -- but darn, if Duke wasn’t a handsome cat.

A lovely grey-and-white cat with eyes that matched his own, Duke has become the one Benoit monologues to (because in all honesty, the man is a performer at heart, in need of an audience to speak his mind to and portray a thought before). Plus, he doesn’t appear to mind it when Benoit finds himself belting out in tone-deaf notes to showtunes while washing the dishes: The mark of a true companion.

At this rate, he’s probably not going to keep fostering Duke when things calm down -- he’s probably going to just straight up adopt him.

Stay safe & healthy!

#just a dumb little thing #anyway stay safe and healthy #regrettablewritings #tadashi hamada imagine #lucifer morningstar imagine #dewey finn imagine #wade wilson imagine #harley quinn imagine #tadashi hamada #lucifer morning star #dewey finn #benoit blanc imagine #benoit blanc

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gll-chui · 3 years

Text

☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲

★彡( 𝙻𝚘𝚐𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙾𝚗 )彡★

“Checkmate.”

The young tadpole before him had a stern expression on her face, her bright colored eyes surveying the 16 boards in between them with intense concentration. The boards all lined up four high and four across, pawns, bishops, rooks, and only two knights each in spare spaces across them. Lieutenant Garuru’s queen was taken sometime in the last hour or so, but it was just a small price to pay for this exact moment to call a checkmate. He and the young girl before had left their chairs and now were standing in the middle of the classroom, on each side of the two desks that were pushed together for this game.

Originally, he was asked by one of the military schools to come in and talk to the students about the Keronian forces, which he was more than happy to do. This wasn’t the usual military school that he and his brother had gone to when they were children growing up in the capital Gerosect, this school was different. He was visiting one of the other countries on Keron, outside of Gerosect and near the bottom hemisphere of the planet where the scenery was just miles and miles of tall grass, calm galactic cattle, and maybe once in a while you’d find a small town acting as a spaceport for when supplies came in from larger cities. Lieutenant Garuru was in his father’s birthplace and hometown, Rellou (was it pronounced Ree-lou? Or Reh-lo? The accent is so thick here he can’t even figure out how to say the town’s name) visiting their first and only military school for the local children. In its heyday the school was there to act as a college and primary school for its small population, but when General Guroro of the military rose to fame a lot more people from the ‘surrounding’ villages started to move in and enroll their children to the very same place in hopes that the younger generation could rise to such accomplishments. So when General Guroro heard that his hometown was gaining popularity he funded the schools himself so that it could accommodate all the children coming in.

The military college and school were still connected by the main building with all the classes connected by many hallways, but now had two separate buildings on either side to act as housing for the adult students and the young children. It seemed more like a boarding school for the young ones, in Garuru’s eyes at least; there was housing, three meals a day, an hour for exercise or recess, study hours, and even a curfew. Garuru had just returned from his first ever war as a Corporal when he was invited to Rellou to talk to their students about the military, of course, it was all set up by his father so he couldn’t really decline the offer. But damn was he glad he never threw that opportunity away, he’s met some of the older folks who were teachers at the school and college, all colleagues and old friends of his father’s back when they used to run around in the open fields. He’s met some incredible children, bright, enthusiastic, hungry for learning and he’s met some strong-headed college kids who were eager to make their military proud.

Just like this young girl, Eriri.

She reminded Garuru so much of himself, she was ten, quiet, but her keen eyes always yearned for more knowledge. While he was still walking the halls with a professor who acted as his guide, Garuru watched as Eriri was trying--and struggling--to catch up to her peers on the track for gym. The poor girl was red in the face even though she was bright yellow in color, even when a few of the male classmates passed her and started to taunt her, her eyes were determined to keep going. In the mess hall, Garuru saw that even though she was invited by some of the other girls to sit with them she quietly dismissed herself and instead went to go eat outside, a book in her hand as she left. Just like him when he was at that age.

After Garuru talked the student’s ears off with one of his speeches and answered the dozens of their questions he took his free time during study hall to approach little Eriri to talk to her. That was when he saw the book she was reading--about 4D chess players. He asked her if she knew how to play, Eriri did, answering promptly ‘yes sir’ and even nodding her head politely when he asked if she’d like to play a round. They pushed two desks together and brought the boards to play.

Though a game usually would be over in about an hour whenever he usually played, this one, in particular, was going on three. Garuru was very impressed, he’s played thousands of 4D chess matches with all forms of life but this one round had to take the cake. He’s made soldiers, professors, generals, Lieutenants, politicians, and diplomats all turn with shame or defeat at one of his ‘signature’ moves, but here before him was a little girl wearing a simple unmarked uniform, pigtails, and no shoes or socks. She was circling their board with determination in her eyes and a hunger to take him down. The rest of the class was watching as well, at first uninterested but after two hours had passed and fifth period was being interrupted by their game there was students--college age and primary--as well as teachers grouped up on top of desk faces and sitting against the walls to see how this was all going to end.

When Garuru had claimed ‘checkmate’ the room fell into a gasp, students whispering to one another feverishly before their teachers and professors all hissed at them to quiet down to not distract the players. Eriri slowly made her way around the two desks, peering in between one level of the chessboard before moving to Garuru’s side to look at where his King still stood, untouched, then moved back to her side. That was when Garuru saw it.

A smile.

Eriri took one of her Knights from the third tier, just a step away from where the Lieutenant stood and then she knocked over his Bishop that threatened one of her pawns and defended his King, taking her new kill.

“Checkmate, Lieutenant.”

Garuru blinked back silently, tilting his head coolly to the side to peer in between boards two and three, then lifting his chin up just enough to look back at cross-boards B and C to his other pieces. His Rook on board A was too far away to cross vertically and too high up to make the move horizontally to cover his King. His knights all were cornered. And when he peeked down he still had three pawns remaining, but they were on board B tier 3.

A small smile came to his face, his shoulders bouncing just a little when he started to chuckle and then finally laugh boisterously when the room continued to watch in sheer and complete awe. Eriri was still smiling when Garuru’s laughs had stopped, nodding his head to signal to her that he was indeed in a tight space. He had no more moves left, he lost all his defense, he had lost. The young tadpole nearly vibrates with excitement as she takes her pawn and knocks over the white iridescent King piece to signal her win, the room abrupting with cheers and hollering. It was just like a scene from a movie--laughably--with students of all ages running up to Eriri to hug her, pat her on the shoulders, and congratulate her on winning the game. The teachers boasting to one another stating ‘they’ knew she was going to win, and the professors all making remarks of ‘she’s going to lead a fleet one day!’. It truly was a sight to behold.

“That was a great game, Eriri-chan.” Garuru states with a small grin, the little tadpole bowing politely to him with a quick and prompt ‘thank you, sir’. “Tell me, have you planned out exactly what you wanted to do once you graduate school?”

“I plan on joining the tactical division for the Keronian military! U-Uh, sir!” she states proudly, standing up straighter than before with both arms tightly at her sides. “I want to expand Keron’s defense lines, and traverse the galaxy to make allies for our militias!” Garuru couldn’t help but laugh a little more, not because of her dreams, but because of the way that she was answering so loudly, so proudly, it really was like looking into the past. Different goals, of course, but man, there was something so refreshing about seeing a child that he could definitely relate to.

“That’s a very ambitious goal, kiddo.” Garuru says; he was standing at ease the whole time that they were playing chess but now that he was addressing her he finally told himself to let his hands behind his back go and relax. Gesturing to Eriri a high five, she was looking relieved when she saw his hand and gave him a little tap with her hand. “Oh c’mon, you can do better than that. I expected much more from a 4D chess winner and our future tactical officer--!”

CRACK! Their hands slapped so hard Garuru couldn’t help but rumble with laughter again, his hand barely stinging from the collision but both he and little Eriri waved their hands from the miniature sonic boom.

“Excellent! That’s what I’m talking about! I look forward to seeing your accomplishments in the future, young lady.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant, sir!” Eriri proudly shouts. Garuru gives her a firm pat to her shoulder and dismisses her so she could run to her classmates and receive a more open congratulations from them. It was quite something, today she was just a little girl who loves to study and play chess, tomorrow--who knows? A field marshal? A tactical officer? All he knows is that the kid got something special in her.

☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲

★彡( 𝙻𝚘𝚐𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙾𝚏𝚏 )彡★

#╚»★«╝ LT in Command ╚»★«╝ (Self)#╚»★«╝ Civilian Encounter ╚»★«╝ (NPC)#mini fic #((is mini fanfic a thing?? It's a drabble--something short but yeah Garuru loves kids and loves to interact with them.))#((I got another drabble in the works with Garuru interacting with kids so yeah--im just gonna start filling this blog up with #headcanons and lil stories LMAO))

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rhydium · 3 years

Note

Info dumbo about the StarFinite story?

aright u asked for it anon GET READY [cracks knuckles] this is gonna be long so obligatory cut in 3, 2........

...1!

so the uh, the au! the story!! w/e yall wanna call it! full disclaimer, i only began working on this whole thing a while ago, but it's totally taken over my fukn brain. like, we're talking big hyperfixation hrs. am i cringe for being this invested in my own content? yes? cool i do not Care >:3€

i should also throw it out there real quick that i am kin w/ infinite, n this is actually one of my two canons (both of which are my own aus lmfao wow). i didn't go into it expecting it to be but sfsfsgdfs here we are ig!! for that reason it's got extra importance to me n this definitely contributes to the euphoria i get from it!! it's a lil odd writing ur own canon,,? but i kinda just go w/ the flow!

the au n, the story that i will start Eventually, revolves around infinite n starline (obvi) n it's honestly just ... the tl;dr is big healing momence n, what's this? uh oh sisters !!! they are falling in love 😳😳😳

uhhhh so infinite is an android, made by eggman. that's like, the most notable canon divergence here! super important context to have. i've got a whole big theory on the possibility of sega originally intending infinite to be an artificial being (which i explored in the works for my Other canon too), stemming from not only the scene in forces wherein infinite comments on sonic's "data", but a line of dialogue from tails in one of the last stages of the game where he Literally Says "so this is where eggman built infinite". that ... i mean. that contrasts w/ episode shadow pretty hard don't it?? would explain why that dlc was so rushed, n the comic too. ANYWAY adsfsfs um that's a seperate ramblepost. yeah!!!

they are also agender n use they/them (primarily) as well as he/him!! so i'll be refering to them w/ those pronouns!

after the war, infinite is taken in by the resistance n, instead of being dismantled, they're basically given a chance to rehabilitate themselves. it's agreed that they won't be reprogrammed, as despite the potential risks, it feels wrong to do so; like a violation of their free will, individuality n thinking. if infinite is to be a good person, it's not gonna be bc other ppl recreated their entire personality, it's gonna be bc it's what they themselves truly want. robot ethics idk man!! u can't tell me that sonic n co wouldn't offer this to infinite if they offered it to metal in IDW,,,, i am Standing By This!!!

it's, yknow, a bit rocky, at first. infinite has to really fight the urge to return to eggman (something they already tried once, before the resistance found them; they were cast out). it's a struggle against what they were built to do, against giving into unhealthy familiarity over facing a, while healthier, unfamiliarity. new faces, a new life, turning their back on their mission n creator, it's like, a lot.

they work for/with the sonic crew, rebuilding the world they tore down as deemed fitting justice, being closely monitored for a bit as a natural precaution. as it becomes apparent infinite truly no longer has any ambition to harm others (they don't have much ambition for anything, really), they're then granted more freedom, n start taking on more important missions!! it at least gives them something to do, keeps them occupied. they have issues with dissociation, unreality, whether they're truly a real person bc, well, android. feeling purposeless, n a lack of worth, especially. a need to prove themselves. heavy stuff. i'll kinda go into that a bit more in a sec. their work grounds them, if only temporarily.

n soooooo... IDW comic stuff happens. metal virus time. starline gets kicked out of the empire.

now, as the comics are ongoing, n as this is already an au, there's gonna be divergence, n i must admit i haven't planned out all that yet. there's a lot i have to consider!! infinite being w the resistance/restoration is a big game changer ... tho i Do believe that they were absent, likely on a far out mission during most of the chaos. eggman doesn't know abt them, nor does starline or anyone else other than the sonic crew; n some civilians that recognise them.

i'm not 100% sure of Exactly when it happens, but i think it's just after bad guys, that infinite is sent to locate n bring in starline. it doesn't prove too difficult. there's a whole, starline realising "oh fuck it's you???", some bickering n, the two don't hit it off right away. they're both kinda like. not mentally stable ddgddgdds,,,

so uh. starline ends up essentially going thru the same sorta shit as infinite. careful watch, rebuilding, all that jazz, making sure he can be trusted. he's like... very very lost, quite like infinite is. the world has kinda calmed down, in the meanwhile.

it's at this point i'm gonna go ahead n drop a bit of a ramble i subjected my friends to a while ago, to articulate the way i see the two, n their dynamic together!! i was considering making this it's own post a while ago!

analysing their characters a bit... let's look at starline. Like. so we have this, in bad guys, which SENT ME tbfh;

i feel like it's the moment that triggers starline onto the path he is rn canonically,,, he's clearly like. rly mad n bitter. the core of this?? he wants his work n his efforts to be acknowledged.

he's big angry. still kind of in denial at this stage. he has himself obsessed w/ the idea of making eggman see him as Worthy, that if he just tries hard enough, that'll happen. he's dependent on eggman's validation, n i mean, it's no surprise; he's followed him a Long Time by the sounds of it.

then in the recent issue, hold the fuck up, bc we got, This;

god. my god it's all comin together now homies. this???? this right here??? it is the CLASSIC "i have to do this to prove i'm strong n powerful n smart n worthy n should be respected please Give Me Acknowledgement" ..... n who else is Like That? can u see where im going w/ this?

i think most ppl are aware of infinite's character being extremely indicative of self worth/esteem issues n the need to prove themself, right?? the extreme adversity, repulsion, perhaps even fear toward the idea of being weak. the compulsion to prove otherwise, to show their strength, to become powerful, to conquer to make a point. their theme exudes this same energy as their behaviour in-game; an aggressive attitude, trying to assert themself, while if u rly listen...? the lyrics are actually really sad in places. it reeks of cover up, although composition wise, a v interesting thing to note is a lot of the more telling lyrics are prominent while some of the affirming ones are in the background. indicative of a desire to have their true feelings be heard but caught in a vicious loop?

okay okay that's yet Another different analysis. AHEM.

not to get deep on main (oh who the hell am i kidding that's the point of this entire thing) but i think starline has issues w/ his worth in a similar way to infinite. they both seem to have this need to Prove something, whether it's to others or themselves, n get caught in a toxic spiral of doing worse n worse things for Some kind of validation or acknowledgement. they'll go to really big lengths chasing that, n both of them ultimately sought validation in the wrong place n wrong way.

this is a big part of my starfinite dynamic,, n so, what happens, as they get closer n open up??? we have them BOTH realising together that they don't have to do fuck all to prove anything to anyone. they don't need to do all this to show they're strong n smart n worth something, not to anyone else OR themselves. they're enough as they are. they bond over that shared feeling that they have to do xyz, to prove themselves, n that desire to just finally be acknowledged n appreciated n help each other thru it. to help each other understand that other ppls approval, or lack thereof, doesn't define them, their strength, intelligence, and worthiness.

i feel like they have an interesting parallel between them in like... the above could be taken as a general analysis, but to go more in depth on this au specifically?? ...

starline followed eggman for presumably a long time n it no doubt left him feeling a heavy and deep regret for all that time wasted n spent on an unhealthy path. infinite kinda teaches him that what matters is what he's doing Now n also reminds him that if none of it happened, starline wouldn't have learnt a lot of the serious skills he has. n while starline still feels bad, he also realises himself that, he likely never would have crossed infinite's path if none of it happened. for that reason, he wouldn't take it back.

infinite has only been recently made, on the other hand. they haven't really existed long, yet, but so far their experiences haven't been very positive n it can be .... discouraging. starline sorta, shows infinite their limited experiences w/ the world are a very tiny fraction of what's out there, n things can absolutely change, yes, including for the better; that's the essence of life, a neverending, constant flow of change.

it's a big tale of moving on n letting go, honestly; made easier as they're doing it together. n as they heal n grow, well... these bitches gay. sfshshdgds like, ig that's putting it p bluntly but!! they start to trust each other, understand each other more. as they get to truly know who the other is, they both start developing The Feelings. they're both pretty oblivious n the reveal is totally unknown so far!! yeah, i know, bummer. i suck. boo. adafsfsds however i can say there will be lots of content in the making!! if that soothes the soul! i've got of ideas i hope to bring to life.

ofc there's still a lot of more specific things i haven't covered here so! if y'all want more juice hmu w/ more focused questions but !! this is the overview n i hope it was a decent read now that gave some uhhh! Cool Insight! yea!!! ✌

#jackal.txt #android infinite au #i need a proper name for this #infinite the jackal #dr starline #starfinite #long post #idw sonic spoilers

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breakingsomething · 4 years

Text

the fall part twenty - all hallow's eve

basic summary: it's jamie's birthday, and his brothers are determined to make his day good for him. also, rhea, jackie and aaron do bad shit again. surprise, surprise.

trigger warnings: flashback, extreme distress, hypnosis

tagslist: @synonymsforzombie @spicydanhowell @skyewardlight @dreaming-of-stories-and-stars @cest-mellow @graveyardlettuce @lower-your-expectationss

"jamie, jamie, jamie! get the hell up, man!"

jamie groaned and rolled over, unfolding his arms and blinking in the sudden light. above him, he could see a blonde head, blue eyes and a big grin, along with a hand that shook his shoulder. "wakey wakey, eggs and bakey. well, pancakes and bakey. or just pancakes. we made pancakes. jamie, wake u-up!"

jamie pulled a hand from underneath the covers and flipped chase the bird before yanking his blankets over his head.

"oh, don't be like that," he heard chase scoff. suddenly the blankets were being torn off, and jamie hissed playfully, unable to hide a grin. chase laughed. "get up, lazy ass! and happy birthday! happy halloween birthday to the pumpkins!"

he left the room, leaving the door wide open. jamie rolled his eyes with a dramatic sigh despite no one being there to see it. he sat up and finally got out of bed, glancing at his phone (not that he needed to in order to know what time it was, he was always aware of the time anyway) to see it was eleven o'clock. he'd slept a full ten hours. better than usual, he thought as he pulled some clothes out of the assorted pile his brothers had put together for him from their own wardrobes. usually he only got about seven.

he brushed his hair and went downstairs, where everyone was sitting in the kitchen, eating breakfast with innocent smiles. they had been talking in hushed tones but immediately went quiet when jamie came in, trying and failing to act completely natural. "ok, what's going on?" jamie sighed dramatically, swinging his hands out as he signed. "is it a special day or something?"

"happy happy birthday!" marvin cheered, pushing a huge box from underneath the kitchen table. henrik and chase followed suit with slightly smaller boxes, grinning. "you're thirty and also three now! like two birthdays in one!"

jameson couldn't help but laugh. "i don't need presents - you guys are sweet, though. please, don't do too much just for me."

"but it's your first birthday with us!" chase cried, lifting his box onto the table. "this is fudging special! also, we have to do gift unwrapping and cake cutting soon, cause i gotta go get the kids in like, half an hour. stacy's actually coming with us to take them trick or treating, how cool is that?" marvin and henrik cheered, and jamie clapped with a big grin at the delighted look on chase's face. "i know, right? oh my god, before we do birthday stuff, guess what louise is going as for halloween."

"sonic," marvin said immediately.

chase giggled, pushing his cap up further as jamie sat himself down on the seat next to him. "you'd think, huh? but no. try again."

"someone from teenage mutant ninja turtles?" henrik asked before taking a sip of his coffee. chase shook his head.

marvin blew his hair out his face. "anyone from sonic at all?"

chase grinned and nodded. "she's going as tails the fox. do you wanna know why?" the other three nodded. chase leaned back in his chair. "because she's making connor go as sonic. she wants to be tails this year because he can fly."

there was a pause before everyone laughed, henrik choking on his coffee. "dear god," he managed once he'd finished his coughing fit. "that's the first time in maybe four years she hasn't gone as sonic, correct?"

"yes!" chase wheezed, wiping tears from his eyes. "she came up to me and stacy and was like "mama, papa, i don't want to go as sonic this year" and we were internally like "finally, she's leaving her sonic obsession behind" and stacy goes "oh, so who do you want to be?" all sweetly and connor - connor fudging runs in dressed all in blue like "i'm sonic now!" swear to god i lost my mind. i'm still losing my mind, christ."

jamie listened to them chatter for a few minutes, content just to hear them talk. he'd missed a lot in his life, it seemed. maybe now was the time to catch up. just the thought made him smile.

"so jamie!" marvin said, snapping him from his thoughts. "present time! open mine last, i think you'll really like it."

"my present is probably the most pathetic," henrik said sheepishly, sliding the crinkly, rectangular package over to him. "i didn't really know what to get you and i've been - ok, i won't give excuses. i hope you like it anyway."

jamie smiled wide. "thank you, henrik. i wasn't expecting a lot anyway. honestly, i don't like receiving gifts. makes me feel strange. but you guys are too nice, you really are."

he gently undid the paper and grinned at the contents. a large stack of candles, all different scents and such. "henrik, this is great!"

henrik shrugged, trying to hold back a small smile. "i'm glad you like it. i was worried you would think it was silly."

the next present was chase's. he seemed very excited to hand over his present, practically vibrating as he passed him the large box. it rattled as jamie took it, something sliding around the top. "it's two presents in one," chase beamed, shaking hair out his face. "come on, open it!"

"give the man a second to breathe, chaser," marvin laughed as jamie rolled his eyes teasingly, deliberately making fun of chase's impatience by opening the box extremely slowly. by the time he'd opened it fully, chase was almost standing in his chair. jamie stuck his tongue out and pulled out a box of chocolate poptarts, to which he raised an eyebrow with a grin.

chase groaned. "those are just extra, look at the real present beneath! i wanna see what you think!"

it was a strange sort of ball. "it's called a moon light," chase explained. "they're so pretty! i thought you could use one for your room, even if you can't see the colours."

jamie turned it over in his hands, smiling. "it's beautiful," he signed once he'd set it down. "i love it so much, thank you."

marvin pushed his box over, grunting with the effort. "ok, so you said not to get you much, but your room was so empty and i wanted to get you something good," he said. "i think you might like this. but be careful, it's fragile."

jamie groaned. "oh, good gods," he signed before picking the box up - it was very heavy - and setting it on the table. "marvin, i don't need anything big."

"hey, it's just one thing," marvin protested. "we've barely given you anything."

"you gave me a home," jamie said without thinking. "you didn't have to do that but you did, even though you had no reason to trust me. you could have sent me away and you didn't and i honestly believe that's the best thing you could ever done for me."

he stared at the package without blinking and didn't look up at his brothers.

"oh - oh, jamie," marvin said softly. "fuck, of course we'd give you a home. you're our brother and we love you."

"yeah!" chase chipped in. "we know you're not anti, and we know you don't think like him. jackie was the fool there."

"you've never given us reason not to trust you," henrik murmured. he placed a hand on jamie's, so gently. "you're a wonderful man and we all know it. we wouldn't do all this for you if we didn't trust you, and we do. we do, ok? we love you so much."

jamie suddenly felt lucky he talked using his hands, otherwise he'd be bursting into tears. he nodded vigorously and quickly unwrapped his present, gasping softly when he saw the beautiful vinyl player inside the box. shiny and dark, with a frank sinatra vinyl at the top of the box. jamie blinked, taking it in. "marvin, it's - beautiful, thank you. this is too much, how much even was this?"

marvin grinned. "a magician never reveals his secrets."

"let's set it up in your room," henrik said excitedly, eyes shining. "oh, i love vinyls, i don't even have a player for them but i own so many and i'm sure you can borrow them -"

"ah, 'scuze me," chase interrupted, holding up both hands. "i have to leave very soon. it's saturday. let's do cake and then i'm bolting."

marvin leapt up, singing to himself as he danced round the table, and jamie snorted. "we're actually doing cake? seriously?"

"of course we are!" marvin almost shouted, digging through the fridge. "who do you think we are, james? a family that doesn't do cake? unheard of." he turned round, an enormous grin on his face as he lifts the pink cake up. "it's cake time, gentlemen!"

they cut slices of the cake, laughing and talking and complimenting marvin on the cake, which he'd apparently baked himself. jamie got the biggest slice and almost couldn't manage the full thing despite how good it was. about twenty minutes later, chase got up to leave, ruffling jamie's curls as way of saying goodbye. "see you fuckers later," he said, doing finger guns before wincing. "shit, i should stop swearing. fuck. i mean - not fuck. just - ahhh, i'll see you dorks later. adios."

"dorks? really?" henrik called after him. chase stuck his hand through the front door again to flip him off.

the rest of the day passed pretty smoothly. chase texted them a few times with updates, at one point sending pictures of the kid's fantastic costumes mixed in with heart eyed reaction images. the three other brothers went out to mcdonald's for lunch and got enough chips to fill nearly a whole tray, which was apparently enough to make chase jealous. he later sent pictures of him, connor and louise at the park with huge ice creams in hand. "gods, it's no wonder people call us childish," jamie laughed teasingly, dipping about ten chips into his own tub of ice cream at once.

"who's calling us childish?" marvin jokingly exclaimed, crossing his eyes and making an exaggerated face of anger. "give me names, i'll challenge them to a duel."

"point proven," henrik sing-songed, sticking his tongue out. "don't cross your eyes or your face will get stuck like that. james, i cannot believe you eat your chips with ice cream and genuinely believe it tastes nice. you are a disgrace to humanity."

"let's all dip our chips in ice cream to piss off henrik," marvin grinned, and he and jamie smacked their soggy chips together with a cry of "cheers!" henrik spluttered, shaking his head in disgust.

"people like you are the reason the mcdonald's ice cream machines are always broken," he scoffed, flicking some ketchup from his burger at marvin. "the employees see you coming and go "ah, scheisse, it is the magic cat bastard again, about to dip his chips in ice cream like some kind of animal. sorry, sir, machines are broke." you disgust me."

"a-w, what about me?" jamie pouted teasingly, sticking out his bottom lip.

"not you, jamie, you are a treasure and we're happy to have you here," henrik said warmly. then he made a face at marvin. "you, however -"

they were interrupted when chase sent a photo of him, stacy and the kids, chase proudly holding up a cheese and onion bake from gregg's. they then all collectively agreed he was a teasing bastard and moved on.

they bickered all the way home about what movie to watch. "it's halloween," henrik argued, smoothing his hair out his face. "we should obviously watch a nightmare before christmas."

"i think we should watch dawn of the dead just to piss chase off," marvin grinned.

"what, dawn of the dead, 2004, you mean?" henrik laughed. marvin shook his head, grimacing and widening his eyes in mock horror.

"i think chase would kill us," he giggled. "which might be funny, but it's jamie's birthday, so he should pick." they both turned to him. "what do you think?"

jamie shrugged. "i don't know. i haven't seen all that many films, even when i was with you. i did watch a few with anti, though."

"ooh, like what?" marvin asked curiously. he nearly walked into a streetlamp but managed to smoothly dodge it. "what movies did the fantastic antisepticeye have to show?"

jamie wiggled his mustache, thinking. "hot fuzz. and i watched a documentary about penguins when he was passed out once. then there was the night we were both up with nightmares and pulled an all nighter to watch a movie about chickens."

"another documentary?" henrik wondered. "anti doesn't seem like the documentary type."

jamie shook his head. "no, an animated one. it had a chicken and a - a fish and a goose and a pig? i think?"

"...charlotte's web?" henrik guessed slowly.

marvin elbowed him. "charlotte's web was about a spider, you numpty. d'you mean, uh… chicken run?"

"free birds?" henrik asked. "me and chase watched that last year with connor and louise."

"wasn't that about turkeys?" marvin giggled.

henrik rolled his eyes. "and when was there a fish in charlotte's web?"

"there was definitely a fish in charlotte's web!"

"they lived on a farm -"

dapper whistled sharply, interrupting them. "no, no. there were aliens. robot aliens. made the sky fall like jackie did."

the two went silent. then henrik spoke. "are you saying you and anti watched chicken little?"

jamie snapped his fingers. "that's the bitch!"

marvin let out a disbelieving laugh. "chicken little? the little bitch with the glasses and the goose girlfriend or something? and anti watched it with you?"

"to be fair, we were both tired and miserable and didn't really care all that much," dapper signed casually. "i think we fell asleep anyway. i just remember during the incident with jackie, i was thinking about that chicken."

there was a long pause as they crossed the street and walked past the corner shop in the direction of their flat. "i don't believe it," henrik eventually mumbled. "fucking - anti. fucking anti willingly watching chicken little with you. i can't picture it. i can't. that's literally incomprehensible to me."

by the time they got home, it was four o'clock, and they decided on ordering pizza for dinner. "i haven't eaten a single healthy food today," marvin announced, almost proudly. "i want a meat feast with barbeque sauce and stuffed crust."

"how much money do you think we have, bastard?" henrik despaired, but when he called the pizza place to ask for hawaiian for himself and plain cheese for jamie, he heard him add stuffed crust to marvin's order.

they sat down in the living room and started up the tv, the three of them snuggling up on the one couch. "you mock us for chips and ice cream, yet you eat pineapple on pizza," marvin accused, throwing his legs across jamie's.

"hawaiian pizza is perfectly respectable," henrik said lightly. "anyway, let's watch a movie. then we can set up the player in jamie's room while we wait for chase to come back."

"will we get trick or treaters?" jamie wondered. neither man saw his hands, so he whistled and repeated the question. henrik shook his head.

"we don't get them because we live in a flat," henrik said. "i suppose since we're on the bottom and therefore get two floors, we could technically try it. maybe next year."

"definitely next year," jamie agreed. "it sounds fun."

they did end up watching a nightmare before christmas while they ate their pizza. the music and animation was lovely, and henrik didn't shut up the whole time. "i absolutely love this song," he said as the oogie-boogie man appeared on screen with his dice. "i used to listen to the soundtrack of this film all the time, it always manages to fit with each character and such -"

"henrik," marvin said gently. "shush."

it was near the end of the film when someone chapped at the door. "i thought you said we didn't get trick or treaters?" jamie asked, to which marvin got up and went to go answer. jamie took henrik's hand. he hated the small part of him that was still so ridiculously afraid, especially on today of all days.

they heard the door open. "trick or treat!" came two small voices, and one familiar one. jamie and henrik laughed in relief upon hearing chase and the kids coming inside, laughing and chattering loudly. marvin peeked into the room and grinned.

"guess who's back!" he cheered. behind him, connor and louise leapt in, still wearing their costumes. everyone cheered as they posed to show them off, huge grins on their little faces. "it's sonic and tails themselves, in the flesh!"

"uncle jam, hen, marv!" the children cried, cheeks dark with cold and excitement. "look at us, we can fly and go super speed!"

"very nice!" henrik affirmed warmly, and he lifted connor onto his lap as he spun by. "come here, you ridiculous fox boy. how many sweeties did you get?"

"lots!" connor cried, and he tossed his bag from his gloved fingers onto the couch besides jamie. "dump it out, uncle jam, i wanna show off my sweets! louise - no, tails, come over here! come show your sweets. papa! where are you?"

"right here," said chase. he was laughing, and jamie realized why as he came into view; he was wearing a mask with a frankly terrifying face on it. "evening, gamers. how are we all doing?"

"what - what are you?" henrik asked in horror over the sound of marvin and jamie's laughter.

chase pulled up the mask and made a mock hurt face. "hey, i'm shadow the hedgehog! i'm being a good father by cosplaying with my kids." he lowered his voice as he shrugged his jacket off. "they made stacy go as amy."

"although technically sonic and shadow aren't friends for a long time, because shadow's really sad about maria's death and he does a lot of bad stuff that sonic doesn't like to make up for it," louise suddenly said, dropping to her knees on the floor and spilling her sweets out. "although shadow does help sonic save the world in sonic adventure 2 to try and fulfill maria's last wishes. it's not all shadow's fault, though. he was made to save maria and he failed and that really hurt him. he also got put in suspen-ded ani-ma-tion for a while, then he got used as a weapon by eggman. he's not really a bad guy. he's just had a lot of bad stuff happen to him and i love him. oh, con, i got a wispa!"

"lemme see!" connor shrieked, leaping off henrik's lap to join his sister on the floor. jamie turned to henrik and marvin with raised eyebrows, slightly taken aback and completely astonished.

"she knows a lot about sonic," chase whispered, sitting down beside them. "it's her favourite thing. one of my favourite things to do is ask her any question about it and listen to her ramble. it's so sweet. hey, lou!" louise turned round to look at him, a chocolate bar hanging out her mouth. chase grinned. "tell us some more about shadow and maria."

louise's eyes lit up. "oh! ok! well, maria was the granddaughter of this guy called gerald robotnik, who's eggman's grandfather, and gerald, kinda, he created shadow as an experiment to help maria, who was really sick…"

it was maybe ten minutes before henrik went to go make some hot chocolate for everyone, and then shouted out in surprise. "hey, what the f- what are these pumpkins doing here?"

"oh!" chase yelped, leaping to his feet. "i completely forgot! guys, guys, i said i was gonna get pumpkins for us to carve and i did! jamie, come see, we're carving pumpkins!"

and he had indeed bought pumpkins. connor and louise had each already picked one out, and jamie, henrik and marvin made a big show of arguing over the others, which really made the kids laugh. as they set up plastic bags all over the living room floor, jamie began to get really excited. he knew that he has carved a pumpkin in his introduction video that jack made, the video that had been deleted minutes after being uploaded with only anti able to recover it, but jamie didn't remember it. the weight of the pumpkin didn't feel familiar in his hands. smooth, slightly wet. the sensation was kind of awful. but jamie wasn't about to tell anyone else that. the kids were enjoying themselves, and he wasn't about to ruin that.

"now we draw faces and whatnot on them," chase said, pulling some sharpies from his pocket and tossing them in the air. "let's go, gamers. con, lou, i'll help if you need any. are you doing scary face or silly face? i can do both."

it was nearly seven o'clock now. jamie wasn't sure why, but he found something felt so off with every line he drew on the pumpkin's surface. a strange feeling of deja vu. which was ridiculous, of course. jameson hadn't ever carved a pumpkin.

"ok, now the cutting!" chase announced cheerfully. too cheerfully for the words he was saying. even in context, jamie felt sick. "louise and connor, you are absolutely not doing this part yourselves. henrik, can you - thank you, thanks. looking fantastic, jamie! how are you enjoying your carving experience?"

jamie managed to smile as he looked up, head bobbing like a doll. "good," he signed, dropping his pen. he noticed connor had gone with a scary face with gnashing teeth, and louise had gone with a cheery face with squinty eyes. "they look great, kids."

"thank you, jam-jam!" connor squealed in a silly voice, with louise repeating right after. jamie laughed silently, feeling his head spin.

"you know how to carve it, right, james?" marvin asked. jamie jumped at his voice. marvin had pulled his hair back into a bun, a sharpie behind his ear. his grin faded slightly. "are you ok? you look a little pale."

"fine," jamie signed. he picked up the knife.

he picked up the knife

he picked up the k

"come on, dapper. you just - cut right here." anti's voice, free from static. warm and irish. "you can do it, dap. i believe in you."

blood blood blood blood blood bl

"dapper - dapper, look up. come on, you useless fuck - don't - oh, don't pass out. i'm right fucking here."

blood blood blood

"hey, dap. you're doing good. keep a hold on that knife now, eh? don't let anyone sneak up on you. always be on the lookout, that's my motto."

blood

"hey, dapper ----. look up, lift your chin."

anti's face swam into view. he looked younger. stubble on his face, shorter, less curly hair, thick gauges in his ears. a black scarf wrapped tightly around his neck. he flashed a forced smile, showing sharp fangs. "there we go. stay still and let me get these bandages on you. i'm sure you're tired, having used so much magic to keep yourself alive." he laughed hoarsely, shaking his head. "a time traveler. i can't believe ---- sent me a time traveler. ha, happy one year death anniversary to us, ----, thank you for this lovely present -"

he was more talking to himself now. dapper ---- was happy to let him. this man was kind, helping to fix up his wounds. anti - his name was anti, right? - gently wrapped the bandages round his cleaned throat. his fingers were cold. so were his eyes. dapper ---- couldn't tell what colour they were, but they looked like ice. when their eyes met, he felt a shiver go down his spine.

"look at you," anti murmured, and he smoothed dapper ----'s hair from his face. it felt nice, and he leaned into the touch. anti hummed softly. "look at you. my time traveler. so much untapped power. i think we're gonna have fun, dapper ----." he smirked. "ha, maybe i should come up with a better name. dapper's a shit name. and as funny as it would be to call you ----, i think i'd have to kill you. look up, dap-dap. ok, nevermind, that's an awful nickname. dapper it is."

he took his hands away and leaned back, studying him. they looked so alike. twins, almost. dapper ---- lifted his hands to his neck to grace the bandages, wincing. anti watched him.

"thank you," dapper ---- signed.

anti frowned. "what's that sign?" he repeated it after him, placing his hand to his chin and extending it outwards. "i don't know any bsl."

dapper tried to mouth the words, but he wasn't used to moving his mouth to form words, and he knew he looked clumsy. "thank you," he signed again, trying to make his tongue go to the right places. anti's eyes widened in understanding, and he signed it too, both of them moving in unison.

"ok, cool!" anti beamed. he made the sign again. "i should learn bsl. might come in handy, and i suppose if i have to put up with you, i might as bloody well. oh, don't look so put out, dap." anti tilted his head and his smile faded to a more genuine state, less forced. "i suppose a weapon like you is worth learning a language for."

"jamie, jamie, jamie - look up, hey. it's just me, be - be careful, drop that knife. drop that knife, james. look up. look up at me."

his hands were covered in - no, they weren't covered in blood, they weren't, they weren't. they were shaking. just shaking. pale, white hands. silver knife. dapper knew what silver looked like.

"jamie." warm and irish. not anti. of course not anti. dapper would never hear anti's voice again. "jamie. hey - chase, get the kids upstairs. pumpkin's are basically done anyway. jameson, hey, it's me. it's marvin. henrik's here too. can you look up, hon? come on, it's ok, you're ok. just us."

just them. kitten, doctor, jinx, dapper, and the gunman's children. six peas in a pod. he was going to be sick.

"fine," he signed numbly. "i'm fine. i'm fine."

once upon a time there was a scared time traveler without a voice and without a soul of his own, born into a world that wanted him dead from the beginning, a world that he came into bleeding, a world that knew the pain that was in store and tried to end it for him early, a world that was cold but contained a brother who spoke in lies and said he loved him, said he was safe, anti, i was never safe and you are a fucking fool, why did you let me save myself, why do i have to still love you?

"i want this to stop," dapper signed, jameson signed, damien signed, mustache signed, anti signed, what was his fucking name again? "i'm just tired. i'm sorry."

"that's ok," kitten - marvin - murmured softly. he touched dapper's - jameson's, jamie's - hand just slightly, grounding him. "we're here. it's ok. it's ok."

it wasn't ok. it was never ok.

that night, jamie awoke with a nightmare.

he wasn't sure what it was, just that when he sat up in bed, his heart was racing loudly in his ears and he was sweating, breathing hard like he'd been running. maybe he had, in his dream. a few minutes passed before he slipped out of bed and padded down to the kitchen to get a drink of water. he definitely needed one.

he couldn't believe he'd lost it like that. in front of the kids, as well - jamie had never been so ashamed of himself. just from holding a knife! he shook his head in disgust, balling his fists up and digging his uneven nails into his palms. it was pathetic how easily upset he was. how easy it was to become silly, naive little dapper again. some days he wondered if he was even jameson jackson at all.

he got a drink. a cup of water, then another, to soothe his pounding headache. his whole body felt slightly numb, and in the silence of the house, he could hear his slightly wheezing breaths. he drank more water. his chest felt that little bit looser.

then something crashed outside and jamie was up like a shot.

he could hear someone just outside the front door. someone scrabbling to pick something up, someone groaning and making small, pained noises. jamie's heart raced as he marched to the door, hand on the lock. he realized he wasn't armed. didn't have a knife on him like he usually did. always be on the lookout, was his motto.

well, if there was anything jamie had learned from being dapper, it was that anything could work as a weapon if you were caught off guard. he grabbed the broom that was leaning on the sideboard and threw the door open, jabbing the handle out the door to hit whatever intruder might be there. instead, he heard someone gasp loudly, and just managed to see a glitching flash of light before the person scrambled to the side of the door, just barely out of jamie's line of sight. they'd left a bag on the ground. a black and white flying tiger bag - one of jamie's favourite stores back when he was dapper. he picked it up, not looking to his left to see the intruder. he could hear them breathing. jamie peeked inside the bag, blocking everything else out as he looked.

a black sketchbook. a black sketchbook and a plastic container of greyscale markers. not only that, but there was a millie's cookies bag, containing what jamie knew to be a deluxe rainbow cookie. anti had always joked about the irony of them being his favourite. he laughed silently and opened the sketchbook to the first page. inside, scribbled in the top left corner, was the word "payback" with a small >:) face next to it.

jamie could see anti out the corner of his eye, still pressed against the wall. he didn't look at him. instead, he pulled his phone from his pocket - thank the gods he'd fallen asleep in his clothes - and quickly opened his text to speech app. there was an awkward pause while he did so, and for a moment jamie was afraid anti would bolt regardless of whether he was still there. but then it loaded and he wrote what he had to say, fingers flying across the keyboard, and held the phone up for the other man to hear.

thank you for the present. and thank you for having the sense to not try and deliver it until you thought i was asleep, even if you are a dumbass and alerted me anyway. night, anti.

anti didn't reply, of course. jamie didn't look at him. he simply closed the door and went back inside.

"evening, auggie! you're back early, i thought you were having a halloween celebration or something."

anti rolled his eyes at the sound of his roommate's voice. it was coming from the kitchen, so anti shrugged his jacket off and went straight to his room instead. carlos followed him. "hey, where you going? it's an all hallow's eve full moon, mate! come on, have a drink or something."

anti flipped him off. carlos pouted, sticking his already very pointy chin out further. he looked a lot like shaggy from scooby doo, anti thought, and tried not to laugh at the thought.

carlos held up a hand before turning and darting into the living room, coming out a moment later with a notebook and pen. "gotta keep one of these handy at all times, huh?" he laughed, snorting. anti resisted the urge to roll his eyes again, and carlos collected himself. "so. were you at a halloween party or something?"

anti frowned and began to write. no, why the fuck would i be? do i look like i go to holiday themed parties?

carlos raised his hands. "ok, ok. you left with a bag, and also you asked if we owned "wrapping paper or some fucking shit along those line, maybe even a bloody bow at the very least" earlier, so i assumed you were going to a party."

who the fuck gives presents for halloween???

carlos shrugged. "i dunno, you?"

anti sighed deeply. it's my brother's birthday, fuck's sake. can you move out my way so i can go to my room please?

"what - oh hey, no, stay and have a drink!" carlos protested, moving to block anti's way again. "come on, august, you're no fun. anyway, if it's your brother's birthday, why didn't you stay and celebrate with him? it looks like you just dropped his present and bolted."

anti snorted. basically. we're not on the best of terms. he wouldn't have wanted to see me. also, i can't drink. i'm fairly certain i've told you this.

carlos shook his hair out his face, scratching the back of his neck. "why'd you give him a present then? also, i know you can drink because you bought like, three bottles of jack daniel's a week or so ago, you're talking pish. now stop being antisocial and have fun for once."

anti's pen scribbled across the page. i have epilepsy, you bastard. also, i don't have to explain myself to you. so go away.

carlos crossed his arms. "this is my flat. you're the one who's paying to stay here. also, also, you probably shouldn't be drinking if that's a trigger for your epilepsy or whatever? that's not a good idea? why would you do that to yourself, anyway?"

because i hate myself. also, you pay to stay here too. you just paid first.

he tried to push by carlos, but the man spread his arms out to block his way, a cheeky grin on his face. anti wanted to hit him. "now now, auggie, i am not letting you spend the rest of your night being depressed in your room. you do that every night. even if you don't drink, come and sit in the living room at least! i was planning to invite some friends round if that's ok by you. it'll be fun!"

anti clenched his fists, face twitching before he calmed himself enough to write again. i'd rather sleep for twelve hours than watch you make out with your partners all night. if you aren't going to move i will fucking stab you and i am not joking.

to anti's absolute rage, carlos just laughed upon reading what he'd written. "you're funny, aug. and they have names, you know. johanna and robert. they're cool people! you might like them." he raised an eyebrow, showing his palms to the ceiling. "johanna's a firefighter, and robert collects knives. you like knives, right? i think you could be friends."

anti tried to keep ahold of his anger, but really, he was still partially in a good mood from jameson accepting his present, and he was also too tired to do much. he sank into himself, blowing the air out his cheeks. i don't want to, ok? not tonight.

carlos sighed. "i - sure. sure. but mate, you really have to stop isolating yourself. i'll admit i don't know a lot about you, but i'd like to, you know? you seem like a cool guy." he stepped aside, leaving room for anti to go into his room. then he widened his eyes, and held up a hand. "wait! let me show you what i learned." he pinched his thumb and pointer finger together in an open and closed motion in front of his face. the sign for "talk." then carlos frowned. "i, uh, forgot the sign for "later." i swear i learned it. i'm trying to learn, like, basic phrases. here, i can -" he held up his hands and signed each letter of the word "later," grinning proudly once he'd finished.

anti blinked in surprise. he wasn't even sure what to say - the fact that this man he barely knew was doing anything for him was amazing. slowly, hesitantly, he put out his pointer finger and dragged it through the air, pausing a couple of times. "later." carlos repeated after him. he smiled wide.

"cool!" he breathed, signing the full phrase. "i should definitely learn more bsl. might as well if i'm gonna be putting up with you, eh, august?" he laughed and stepped back, nearly walking into the living room doorway. "thanks. you're cool, mate."

anti just nodded. then he turned and went into the darkness of his room.

he didn't want to turn the light on. it was far too quiet, so he threw himself down on his bed and put his headphones on, staring out the window. carlos had been right - there was a full moon. a full moon on halloween. strange. that almost never happened.

anti's heart was racing and he wasn't sure why. he placed his fingers on his wrist to check his pulse, then on the area behind his ears. why was he suddenly so worked up? he almost laughed. it was always the littlest things these days. always the littlest things.

he closed his eyes and listened to the music in his ears.

kazuki kamata was an unusual woman.

anyone who knew her would tell you that. while she was kind, she was also sometimes merciless, and would do almost anything for those she cared about. she was a protector. she was fire and she was ice. no one knew where she went at nights when she left hecate. no one knew who her friends or family were. no one knew if kazuki was even her real name. some speculated she was on the run for murder. one man swore he heard a rumor that she was a world famous arsonist.

kazuki never indulged any of these rumors. she'd never needed to. people parted for her in the streets, magicians or not. people could sense her power. who would dare argue with that? no one with sense. no one ever challenged her.

until him. that skinny, green haired bastard that one of kazuki's magicians had brought in one day, the hyper irishman who apparently had no magic specialty and just did whatever the fuck he wanted. marvin mcloughlin. kazuki disliked him from the start. he was a dickhead and he didn't follow rules, he was arrogant and selfish and loud and he was an embarrassment to their organization. she couldn't count the amount of times naomi gudmundson, the poor agrokinesis girl, had come to her office to apologize for his behaviour without his knowledge. he was, to be frank, a fucking idiot. and kazuki was sick of him.

she planned to give him a notice of leave, informing him that he would no longer be welcome in their organization. it was a few days or so before she was going to do it when she found the man in the stairwell of one of their halls, curled in on himself and sobbing. kazuki had just waited to see if he'd notice her there, because what else was she supposed to do? eventually he'd glanced up, gasping at the sight of her. "i - i - miss kazuki, uh, miss kamata!" he'd spluttered, scrubbing fat tears from his splotchy red face. "i'm - i should - i'm sorry, i'll go, didn't mean to disturb -"

"it's ok," she'd said softly. to his disbelief, and her own, she'd sat down on the step next to him, wincing at the cold, hard floor under her. she shifted, trying to get comfortable. "are you alright, mr mcloughlin?"

he'd shook his head, sniffling and desperately trying to cover up his face while he wiped it off. "i'm fine," he muttered, turning away. "it's nothing, i'm ok. you should probably go. i'm sure you have important hecate work to do or some shit."

kazuki narrowed her eyes. "i'd kindly thank you not to curse like that in my presence, mcloughlin. i don't take well to such disrespect."

marvin had flushed, shoulders shooting to his ears. "sorry," he mumbled. "very sorry. i don't - i don't mean to be rude."

his face crumpled further, and he buried his face in his knees, shaking slightly. kazuki found herself softening. she knew she shouldn't. she knew she should get to her feet and leave before something happened that she would regret. but she didn't. "tell me what's wrong, mr mcloughlin," she murmured. the air around them seemed to thicken, and marvin sat up slightly, shaking his head and blinking rapidly as though it would stem the rapid flow of tears.

"had a fight with my brother and his friends," he mumbled. "it's - it's so stupid. i'm sorry, i'm - i'm really sorry!"

he gave a gasping sob and doubled over, shoulders shaking. kazuki screwed up her face. fuck, but she had no clue what to do. the kid was having a full blown panic attack from the looks of it. should she… without thinking, she stretched out a hand and touched his shoulder, warm magic flowing through her hand. "you're ok," she reassured, watching his turquoise eyes calm. "you're alright. what were you fighting about?"

he shook his head. "dumb shit. my brother's friend h-henrik, he got hurt recently and he hates me, and yet jackie - my brother - he gets mad at me when i get on at him, but he's such a p-prick and his brother used to like me b-before i met henrik but now he's - he's mad at me too, they all are. assholes." he let a hiccuping sob that sounded almost like a laugh. "i sound like such a ch-child, i'm sorry. i'm just really tired. i'm sorry. i'm always such a dick and i don't mean to, i'm just really angry all the time and i don't know why and i'm sorry, i really don't mean to be -"

he gasped, and kazuki gripped his arm tightly. "breathe," she said quietly. "you're going to pass out if you don't calm down."

"please don't kick me out!" he blurted, more tears pooling in his eyes. slit eye pupils, like a cat's. diamond shaped. kazuki had never noticed that. "please, i know you're going to kick me out of hecate and i really don't want to - to go, i - please, i promise i'll stop being an asshole and i won't pick fights with raymond and i'll -" he coughed wildly, covering his mouth. "i'm so sorry. i've b-been acting like a child. i promise you i'll be better."

and it was then that kazuki came to a quiet realization.

"you can stay," she said firmly, and marvin's face lit up. she held up a hand to stop him. "but you do have to promise that you'll be more careful of your words and actions in the future. we've had several complaints about you from other members, and if you don't change your ways i'm afraid i will have to do something about it. do you understand?"

he nodded frantically, a smile cracking his face. "yes, of course - thank you, thank you so much." he wiped his face with his sleeve again, sniffling. "i - i don't want to leave this place. it's basically been my escape from home when i'm not with naomi, and i wouldn't want to lose it. really, i… i don't mean to be a dick. i promise."

kazuki learned something that day. and what she learned was that no matter how hard she tried, she was always going to come back to love. she was always going to feel empathy, she was always going to want to comfort people who were hurting, and there was a part of her that was always going to feel so painfully human. she saw herself in this young, green haired magician. and she unfortunately grew to care about him as time passed. even once she'd discovered he'd been practicing darker magics and made him promise to stop. even once he'd left hecate. she was so human sometimes. it was nice to be reminded of that.

tonight, back in the present, she was thinking about him.

she did that sometimes. it made her wonder how things might have been if she had been different towards marvin. if she had been less cold. kazuki didn't like to be close to people. kazuki didn't want to let herself care about anyone. she thought maybe, if she stayed indifferent, she'd stop. but… she hadn't, had she? she loved marvin. he was like a dumbass child who cursed a lot and interrupted meetings and made a nuisance of himself. and she loved him. he reminded her... he reminded her of her brother who she'd lost so long ago.

she suddenly remembered his book of magic. the one he'd given to her in exchange for her help all those months ago. she still had it in her drawers in her office, right at the back of the one on the bottom. really, she shouldn't have taken it from him in the first place. "you're an idiot, kazuki," she sang to herself under her breath as she pulled the key off the chain on her neck. "you never know what you want."

the drawer was empty.

kazuki stared into it. the drawer was empty. the drawer couldn't be empty.

she stood and marched briskly out her office, heart racing but face void of emotion. she was good at that. "alana!" she snapped, and the purple haired magician who had been walking by stopped dead with wide eyes. kazuki frowned down at her. "have you seen anyone come into my office at all today?"

alana shook her head. "no, miss kamata. only you."

kazuki's heart skipped. "alana. what do you mean, only me?"

the girl looked confused. "you were here earlier, miss kamata. you told me and tony to look alive, i believe? why?"

kazuki just shook her head. she couldn't breathe all of a sudden.

"because i haven't been here all day," she murmured, far too quietly.

it seemed the past was catching up to her.

"this is perfect!" rhea cackled. she was spinning in a circle with the book clutched to her chest. "so much magic, so many spells! can you believe that air magic bitch kept it in a drawer in her office? fucking sentimental sap. shouldn't make things so easy to get to."

"ok, and was risking our fucking lives worth that stupid book?" aaron suddenly spat from the couch he was curled up on. jackie flinched. rhea did not. she stopped spinning and glared at him, eyes narrowing with venom.

"it was, actually," she said, her light tone contrasting with her ice cold expression. "jackie's brother is extremely powerful and he has basically every spell he knows in this book. is that correct, jackie?" she turned to him, and jackie took an instinctive step back. "tell your boyfriend that i'm right."

jackie… honestly wasn't sure what rhea wanted with marvin's magic. however, it had been her idea to sneak into hecate and steal it while jackie and aaron kept watch, and the plan has worked, so he supposed no losses had been made. but it seemed aaron has taken this as a personal attack. "you fucking asshole," the blonde hissed, suddenly getting to his feet. "do you have any goddamn care for anyone but yourself?"

jackie laughed nervously, raising his hands. "guys, let's not do this."

they both ignored him. "you're a selfish fucking cunt and all you want is to use us for your gain," aaron seethed, his face red with sudden anger. "we could have gotten in big trouble - breaking into a place like hecate is no fucking joke, rhea, and we're not up for playing your games anymore. tell her that, jackson!"

rhea smiled at aaron cruelly, not an ounce of warmth in her face. "i'm apparently doing a better job of protecting you two than you are," she beamed, voice strained with a thin veil of rage. "you're completely incompetent without someone to guide you. i'm trying to help you and have been from the goddamn start. you would have fucking died without me and i'm honestly starting to wish i had let you."

jackie jumped in before punches could be thrown. "guys!" he shouted, pushing them both away from each other. "you're being fucking ridiculous. rhea, explain why you needed us to get marvin's magic when we already have access to basically all his black magic spells. aaron, you…" he hesitated. "you just… calm down."

aaron spluttered while rhea sat on her couch nearest the window. "ok," she smirked, folding her legs under her. "your brother is an extremely powerful mage, jackie. and while his black magic is strong, the rest of his magic is stronger."

"nothing is stronger than black magic," aaron said through gritted teeth. jackie took his hand and ran his thumb along the back of it soothingly.

rhea cocked her head. "and that's where you're wrong. white magic can be just as powerful, if not more. see, aaron, you're like - you know how in movies there's the dumb guy who always tries to solve his problems by using brute force, and it works for a little while, but then the smart character comes in and uses their brains to solve everything?" she pointed at him with an innocent smile. "you're the dumb guy."

jackie pushed aaron back down before he could do anything he probably wouldn't regret. "let's not poke sticks right now, huh?" he said, shooting the last word at rhea. "explain what you mean, please."

she sighed. "there is no concrete line between black and white magic," she said. "and there is no actual hierarchy of magical strength. it all depends on who's controlling it, who's magic it began as, and how the spell is conducted, among many other things. it's not just "what the spell is." if it were that simple, any magician could shift as well as me, or i could bend air as well as that japanese magician." she paused to take a breath. "point is, this magic stems from a very powerful man, which would make the spells powerful. we could use these."

"and it was worth our lives?" aaron interjected smoothly.

rhea snorted. "yours, maybe."

"rhea," jackie snapped. "aaron is my boyfriend, and if you want my help, you'll have to deal with him too."

"i can fight my own bloody fights," aaron spat, pushing jackie's hand away. he glared at rhea with murder in his eyes before turning back to jackie. "and what, am i just an accessory to you? something to be dealt with? i'm a human person, jackson, and i demand respect."

rhea scoffed. "i don't know that you deserve it."

"guys," jackie protested. "aaron, just shut up -"

"you're supposed to be defending me!" aaron shouted, whirling round on him. "i'm your boyfriend, i've known you for a year now, you just met her like three weeks ago! you - don't - you're gonna trust her opinion over mine?"

jackie shook his head. "it's not like that," he said weakly. "but we need rhea on our side -"

"i don't trust her and i've made that plainly clear!" aaron despaired, grabbing jackie's shoulders without warning. "please, listen to me -"

"aaron - aaron, let go -"

"you don't believe me! i'm not just being paranoid!"

"aaron -"

"you never listen to me, you fucking asshole, i'm trying to warn you -"

"aaron, shu̸t ̸uṕ͜!"

the sudden wave of panicked magic nearly knocked him out. he staggered back, clutching his head, before he noticed what he'd done. aaron was swaying on the spot, eyes wide, mouth hanging open. jackie's heart dropped. no, no, not again, not again -

"aaron - shit, i didn't - didn't mean it," he choked out, wrapping his arms around himself. "shit -"

"oh, well done," came rhea's voice. he turned to her, vision blurred with tears, to see she'd stood up again and was now beside him, a small smile on her face. "you know, jackson, i didn't think you were the type to hypno your own boyfriend. that takes guts."

"accident," jackie sobbed. "it was an accident -"

"but you wanted to do it," she said quietly. she took his hand, and her face softened. "you wanted to hypnotize him to make him shut up. i don't blame you. you know i'm right and you feel bad because your boyfriend doesn't believe that i'm to be trusted. it must hurt. but i understand."

she pulled him into a gentle hug, facing him away from aaron so he couldn't see his face. jackie stared numbly out the living room window as rhea pat his back, speaking softly. "this is a very hard situation for you. i get it. but… you're gonna have to admit it. aaron isn't good for you. he's just holding you back."

"he's my boyfriend," jackie mumbled into her shoulder. "and he's my best friend. i love him. he's never once held me back from anything and i love him."

rhea pulled away. she studied jackie's face for a moment, expression blank. then she shrugged. "ok. well, i made you a profile on my netflix. i set your picture as the blue wally guy from black mirror because i thought it was funny. watch whatever you want, i don't judge. i'm going to my room. see you tomorrow, jackson."

she skipped out the room, jackie staring after her.

#jacksepticeye #boop writes #jameson jackson #marvin the magnificent #chase brody #jackieboy man #henrik von schneeplestein #antisepticeye #aaron mckenzie #rhea maclaren #the fall

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cornflowercanine · 4 years

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hi heres a post of me talkign a8t my goats goatlings is a petsite where ui have goats . u can customize them with appearance dolls make them Fight and Kill for loot/strong/mony (sugar stars) and u can 8uy foods and toys and Pretty Items with that monys. theres an arcade 8ut none of the games are fun. the goats cant die 8ut if theyre too sad/hungry they wont fight goATLINgs ISNt 8LuE its just that windows 7 classic theme + firefox = weird shit XD if u join goatlings 8c of me put vriskaleijon in the referral

first off look at my HA (i think it stands for human avatar) i think its pretty and my widdle snake holding my aro flag :33

im gonna go in order of when i got the goatlings and will include desc if they have one, 8ut itll 8e cropped out if they dont, none of my goatlings have treasure/a collection 8c frankly idk how it works and i dont want to know

this is d4mz i forget to write the four in her name ALL the time shes my oldest goat shes old enough to make eggs on the stove and get allowance and go to the convenience store to get a soda and chocol8 for all the 8a8ies 8ut thats it. she ONLY likes edgy things her fave toys are punk/pop rock dino and spiked yoyo and she really really wants to/tries to KILL 8ut isnt super good at it 8y default. her personality is like tawnypelt warrior cats. she used to midkey h8 me 8ut shes mellowed out

this is sears33r they factkin silver the hegheg from the sonic fandu8s. they know everything constantly all the time so is constantly learning things and this 8rings them indescri8a8le pain hence the name ‘sear[ing]s33r’. despite knowing literally everything which 8a8ies dont tend to do theyre pro8a8ly like, 13/14. tells d4mz when she n33ds to cut up some fruit to f33d to dolewhip. never happy 8ut always loved. 8ad at fighting

this is dolewhip his name is dolewhip 8c i made my goatlings while a fair was happening and someone there was selling yumy dole whip and i was constantly thinking a8t it so this is his name now. hes a child an infant a 8a8y a little kid can 8arely even walk and his toucan is his 8est friend. everyone takes turns carrying him not so much 8c he n33ds to 8e carried 8ut 8c we love him

this is payshes her description is self explanatory for her name i realized RIGHT when i applied her AD that she does actually have peixes horns. her personality is exactly as youd expect. she isnt particularly good at fighting 8ut she is very very happy. i give her all the toys/food i get from watery explore areas and she loves that shit. cridea told her what fictionkin is 8ut she still doesnt call herself a kinnie 8c She doesnt kin the peixes. she IS the peixes. the peixes kin HER

this is cervalces (sir-val-s33s) (ok i just watched a video and its apparentally pronounced serval-siz 8ut) xhe’s like, a few million/thousand years old technically? like a sudden reincarn8ion of cervalces into a partially goat . xhe’s cool xhe’s 8igger than an elk 8ut smaller than a moose. isnt really a part of the family 8ut lives here anyway. pro8a8ly sticks xer head through the kitchen window when im chopping vegeta8les for scraps. pretty mellow. CAN kill when i want xer to (hence 8eing lvl 14) and is a Little default 8etter at it than d4mz 8ut like, eh

this is cridea shes named after cridea j33vik . was the first rad i ever got and practically fell into my hands. she has a completely average personality and a8ility to fight. doesnt like edgy things as much as d4mz 8ut 8uys chains/weird jewelry every time she goes to the convenience store with her anyway. is mostly just there to 8e pretty. knows what fictionkin is and kins cridea j33vik. a regular ass friend!

this is sphaeralcea (sfuh-ral-s33-uh) i got xyr 8c i adored xyr AD and thought it was super cute and lovely colors and i named xyr after a cute tiny peachy orange flower that grows around here and is adora8le. xi is full of fury xi h8s every single thing i give xyr xi LOVES killing and does a critical hit every other turn. xi loves killing so much i wanted to get xyr a 8attle axe 8ut it wasnt avalia8le so now xi has a revolver and loves it. xi will kill you. i love xyr regardless.very pretty very angry

this is tzhive. she was a nightmare to get. she has a8solutely no personality and is horrifically 8ad at fighting. also mostly just exists to look pretty. may8e 8eing named after Just A Literal Fucking Landscape/House contri8uted to her having no personality or nota8le good tr8s past ‘pretty’. perhaps takes after dragonmom the most in that she Cant Fucking Do Anything and pro8a8ly isnt even conscious. shes kinda like the ‘none of these ppl are actual sincere friends 8ut theyre the only ones that let me hang out with/follow them’ of the fishy/water goats i have. i love her regardless.

this is nan8asen -points at their desc- and also when i looked up nan8asen it apparentally literally just means ‘shipwreck’ so it fits either way. theyre dead!!!!! when looking at their AD to come up with a name the only thing that came to mind was Lighthouse The Hush Sound, which is a song a8t a haunted lighthouse, so theyre dead theyre a ghost they are not corporeal. theyre Ok at fighting 8ut i dont think they Want to. pro8a8ly good friends with cervalces in that they are technically older than the rest of the goats. was not trying to get their RAD 8ut they came to me anyway and now theyre here so theyre not really a Part of the family 8ut just lives here regardless. no8ody can talk to them easily (s33; is a fucking ghost) 8ut i dont think they mind this much. pro8a8ly has (semi) carnivore t33th

#clove rambles #long post if u open the cut XD #i also wanna note d4mz technically knows what fictionkin is from cridea/payshes 8ut does not care.#she doesnt identify as damara she doesnt kin damara she does not even really care a8out damara 8ut she is a reincarn8ion of her #nan8asens 8asically entire thing is aesthetic XD 8ut like aesthetic with personality #will only show up if its stormy/overcast #u can send me asks a8t any of them and i will answer :P!

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weekendwarriorblog · 3 years

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The Weekend Warrior 10/13/20: FREAKY, THE CLIMB, MANK, HILLBILLY ELEGY, AMMONITE, DREAMLAND, DOC-NYC and MUCH MORE!

It’s a pretty crazy week for new releases as I mentioned a few times over the past couple weeks, but it’s bound to happen as we get closer to the holiday movie season, which this year won’t include many movies in theaters, even though movie theaters are still open in many areas of the country… and closing in others. Sigh. Besides a few high-profile Netflix theatrical release, we also get movies starring Vince Vaughn, Margot Robbie, Kate Winslet, Saoirse Ronan, Mel Gibson and more offerings. In fact, I’ve somehow managed to write 12 (!!!!) reviews this week… yikes.

Before we get to the new movies, let’s look at a few series/festivals starting this week, including the always great documentary festival, DOC-NYC, which runs from November 11 through 19. A few of the docs I’ve already seen are (probably not surprisingly, if you know me) some of the music docs in the “Sonic Cinema” section, including Oliver Murray’s Ronnie’s, a film about legendary jazz musician and tenor sax player Ronnie Scott, whose London club Ronnie Scott’s Jazz Club has been one of the central cores for British jazz fans for many decades.

Alex Winter’s Zappa is a much more satisfying portrait of the avant-garde rocker than the doc Frank Zappa: In His Own Words from a few years back, but I was even more surprised by how much I enjoyed Julien Temple’s Crock of Gold: A Few Rounds with Shane MacGowan, because I’ve never really been a Pogues fan, but it’s highly entertaining as we learn about the chronically-soused frontman of the popular Irish band.

I haven’t seen Robert Yapkowitz and Richard Peete’s in My Own Time: A Portrait of Karen Dalton, a portrait of the blues and folk singer, yet, nor have I watched Marcia Jarmel and Ken Schneider’s Los Hermanos/The Brothers about two brother musicians separated from childhood after leaving their native Cuba, but I’ll try to get to both of them soon enough.

Outside of the realm of music docs is Ilinca Calugareanu’s A Cops and Robbers Story, which follows Corey Pegues from being a drug dealer and gang member to a celebrated deputy inspector within the NYPD. There’s also Nancy (The Loving Story) Buirski’s A Crime on the Bayou, the third part of the filmmaker’s trilogy about brave individuals in the Civil Rights era, this one about 19-year-old New Orleans fisherman Gary Duncan who tries to break up a fight between white and black teens at an integrated school and is arrested for assaulting a minor when merely touching a white boy’s arm.

Hao Wu’s 76 Days covers the length of Wuhan, China’s lockdown due to COVID-19, a very timely doc that will be released by MTV Documentary Films via virtual cinema on December 4. It’s one of DOC-NYC’s features on its annual Short List, which includes Boys State, Collective, The Fight, On the Record, and ten others that will vie for juried categories.

IFC Films’ Dear Santa, the new film from Dana Nachman, director of the wonderful Pick of the Litter, will follow its Heartland Film Festival debut with a run at COD-NYC before its own December 4 release. The latter is about the USPS’s “Operation Santa” program that receives hundreds of thousands of letters to Santa every year and employees thousands of volunteers to help make the wishes of these kids come true.

Basically, there’s a LOT of stuff to see at DOC-NYC, and while most of the movies haven’t been released publicly outside festivals yet, a lot of these movies will be part of the doc conversations of 2020. DOC-NYC gives the chance for people across the United States to see a lot of great docs months before anyone else, so take advantage of some of their ticket packs to save some money over the normal $12 per ticket price. The $199 price for an All Access Film Pass also isn’t a bad deal if you have enough time to watch the hundreds of DOC-NYC offerings. (Sadly, I never do, yet I’m still a little bummed to miss the 10Am press screenings at IFC Center that keeps me off the streets… or in this case, sitting on my ass at home.)

Not to be outdone by the presence of DOC-NYC, Film at Lincoln Center is kicking off its OWN seventh annual “Art of the Real” doc series, which has a bit of overlap by running from November 13 to 26. I really don’t know a lot about the documentaries being shown as part of this program, presented with Mubi and The New York Times, but check this out. For just 50 bucks, you can get an all-access pass to all 17 films, which you can casually watch at home over the two weeks of the fest.

Okay, let’s get to some theatrical releases, and the one I’ve been anticipating the most (also the one getting the widest release) is Christopher Landon’s FREAKY from Blumhouse and Universal Pictures. It stars Kathryn Newton as Millie Kessler, a high school outcast who is constantly picked on, but one night, she ends up encountering the serial killer known as the “Blissfield Butcher” (Vince Vaughn), but instead of dying when she’s stabbed with a ritual blade. The next morning Millie and the Butcher wake up to discover that they’ve been transported into the body of the other. Oh, it’s Friday the 13th… oh, now I get it… Freaky Friday!

Landon is best known for writing many of the Paranormal Activity sequels and directing Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones. Msore importantly, he directed Happy Death Day and its sequel Happy Death Day 2 U, two of my favorite Blumhouse movies, because they so successfully mix horror with comedy, which is so hard to do. That’s what Freaky is all about, too, and it’s even harder this time even though Freaky has way more gruesome and gory kills than anything in Landon’s other films. Heck, many of the kills are gorier than the most recent Halloween from Blumhouse, and it’s a little shocking when you’re laughing so hard at times.

Landon does some clever things with what’s essentially a one-joke premise of a killer in a teen girl’s body and vice versa, but like the Lindsay Lohan-Jamie Lee Curtis remake from 2003, it’s all about the talent of the two main actors to pull off the rather intricate nature of playing humor without losing the seriousness of the horror element.

It may not be too surprising with Vaughn, who made a ton of dramas and thrillers before turning to comedy. (Does everyone remember that he played Norman Bates in Gus Van Sant’s remake of Psycho and also starred in thrillers The Cell and Domestic Disturbance?) Newton is a bit more of an unknown quantity, but as soon as Tillie dawns the red leather jacket, you know that she can use her newly found homicidal attitude to get some revenge on those who have been terrible to her.

In some ways, the comedy aspects of Freaky win out over the horror but no horror fan will be disappointed by the amount of gory kills and how well the laughs emerge from a decent horror flick. Freaky seems like the kind of movie that Wes Craven would have loved.

I’m delighted to say that this week’s “Featured Flick” is Michael Angelo Covino and Kyle Marvin’s indie comedy THE CLIMB (Sony Pictures Classics), a movie that I have seen no less than three times this year, first when it was playing Sundance, a few months later when it was supposed to open in March… and then again last week! And you know what? I enjoyed it just as much every single time. It’s an amazing two-hander that stars Covino and Marvin as best friends Mike and Kyle, who have a falling out over the former sleeping with the latter’s fiancé, and it just gets funnier and funnier as the friends fight and Kyle gets engaged to Marisa (Gayle Rankin from GLOW) who hates Mike. Can this friendship possibly survive?

I really had no idea what to expect the first time I saw The Climb at the Sony Screening Room, but it was obviously going to be a very different movie for Sony Pictures Classics, who had started out the year with so many great films before theaters shut down. (Unfortunately, they may have waited too long on this one as theaters seem to be shutting down again even while NYC and L.A. have yet to reopen them. Still, I think this would be just as much fun in a drive-in.)

The movie starts with a long, extended scene of the two leads riding bikes on a steep mountain in France, talking to each other as Kyle (once the athlete of the duo) has fallen out of shape. During the conversation, Mike admits to having slept with Kyle’s fiancé Ava (Judith Godréche) and things turn hostile between the two. We then get the first big jump in time as we’re now at the funeral for Ava, who actually had been married to Mike. Kyle eventually moves on and begins a relationship with his high school sweetheart Marisa, who we meet at the Thanksgiving gathering for Kyle’s extended family. In both these cases, we see how the relationship between Mike and Kyle has changed/evolved as Mike has now fallen on hard times.

It's a little hard to explain why what’s essentially a “slice of life” movie can be so funny. On one hand, The Climb might be the type of movie we might see from Mike Leigh, but Covino and Marvin find a way to make everything funny and also quite eccentric in terms of how some of the segments begin and end. Technically, it’s also an impressive feat with the number of amazing single shot sequences and how smooth some of the transitions work. It’s actually interesting to see when and how the filmmakers decide to return to the lives of their subjects – think of it a bit like Michael Apted’s “Up” series of docs but covering a lot shorter span in time.

Most importantly, The Climb has such a unique tone and feel to other indie dramedies we’ve seen, as the duo seem to be influenced more by European cinema than American indies. Personally, I think a better title for The Climb might have been “Frenemied,” but even with the movie’s fairly innocuous title, you will not forget the experience watching this entertaining film anytime soon.

Maybe this should be called “Netflix week,” because the streamer is releasing a number of high-profile movies into theaters and on the streaming service. Definitely one of the more anticipated movies of the year is David Fincher’s MANK, which will get a theatrical release this week and then stream on Netflix starting December 4.

It stars Gary Oldman as Herman Mankiewicz, the Hollywood screenwriter who has allowed himself to succumb to alcoholism but has been hired by Orson Welles (Tom Burke) to write his next movie, Citizen Kane, working with a personal secretary Rita Alexander (played by Lily Collins). His story is told through his interactions with media mogul William Hearst (Charles Dance) and relationship with actress and Hearst ingenue and mistress, Marion Davies (Amanda Seyfried).

It I were asked to pick one director who is my absolute favorite, Fincher would probably be in my top 5 because he’s had such an illustrious and varied career of movie styles, and Mank continues that tradition as Fincher pays tribute to old Hollywood and specifically the work of Orson Welles in every frame of this biopic that’s actually more about the troubled writer of Citizen Kane who was able to absorb everything happening in his own Hollywood circles and apply them to the script.

More than anything, Mank feels like a movie for people who love old Hollywood and inside Hollywood stories, and maybe even those who may already know about the making of Welles’ highly-regarded film might find a few new things to appreciate. I particularly enjoyed Mankiewicz’s relationships with the women around him, including his wife “Poor Sarah,” played by Tuppence Middleton, Collins’ Rita, and of course, Seyfried’s absolutely radiant performance as Davies. Maybe I would have appreciated the line-up of known names and characters like studio head Louis B Mayer and others, if more of them had any sort of effect on the story and weren’t just

The film perfectly captures the dynamic of the time and place as Mank is frequently the only honest voice in a sea of brown nosers and yes-men. Maybe I would have enjoyed Oldman’s performance more if everything that comes out of Mankiewicz’s mouth wasn’t an all-too-clever quip.

The film really hits a high point after a friend of Mank’s commits suicide and how that adds to the writer’s woes about not being able to save him. The film’s last act involves Mank dealing with the repercussions after the word gets out that Citizen Kane is indeed about Hearst.

Overall, Mank is a movie that’s hard to really dig into, and like some of Fincher’s previous work, it tends to be devoid of emotion. Even Fincher’s decision to be clever by including cigarette burns to represent Mank’s “reels” – something explained by Brad Pitt in Fight Club – just drives home the point that Mank is deliberately Fincher’s most meta movie to date.

You can also read my technical/crafts review of Mank over at Below the Line.

Ron Howard’s adaptation of JD Vance’s bestselling memoir HILLBILLY ELEGY will be released by Netflix into theaters ahead of its streaming debut on November 24. It stars Amy Adams and Glenn Close, but in honesty, it’s about JD Vance, you know, the guy who wrote the memoir. The film follows his younger years (as played by Owen Asztalos) while dealing with a dysfunctional white trash family in Middletown, Ohio, dealing with his headstrong Mamaw (Close) and abusive mother dealing with drug addiction (Adams). Later in life, while studying at Yale (and played by Gabriel Basso), he has to return to his Ohio roots to deal with his mother’s growing addiction that forces him to come to terms with his past.

I’m a bit of a Ron Howard stan – some might even say “an apologist” – and there’s no denying that Hillbilly Elegy puts him the closest to A Beautiful Mind territory than he’s been in quite some time. That doesn’t mean that this movie is perfect, nor that I would consider it one of his better movies, though. I went into the movie not knowing a thing about JD Vance or his memoir but after the first reviews came out, I was a little shocked how many of them immediately went political, because there’s absolutely nothing resembling politics in the film.

It is essentially an adaptation of a memoir, dealing with JD Vance’s childhood but then also the past that led his mother and grandmother down the paths that made his family so dysfunctional. I particularly enjoyed the relationship between the older Vance and his future wife Usha (as played by Freida Pinto) earlier in their relationship as they’re both going to Yale and Vance is trying to move past his family history to succeed in the realm of law.

It might be a no-brainer why Adams and Close are being given so much of the attention for their performances. They are two of the best. Close is particularly amusing as the cantankerous Mamaw, who veers between cussing and crying, but also has some great scenes both with Adams and the younger Vance. The amazing special make-up FX used to change her appearance often makes you forget you’re watching Close. I wish I could say the same for Adams, who gives such an overwrought and over-the-top performance that it’s very hard to feel much emotionally for her character as she goes down a seemingly endless vortex of drug addiction. It’s a performance that leads to some absolute craziness. (It’s also odd seeing Adams in basically the Christian Bale role in The Fighter, although Basso should get more credit about what he brings out in their scenes together.)

Hillbilly Elegy does have a number of duller moments, and I’m not quite sure anyone not already a fan of Vance’s book would really have much interest in these characters. I certainly have had issues with movies about people some may consider “Southern White Trash,” but it’s something I’ve worked on myself to overcome. It’s actually quite respectable for a movie to try to show characters outside the normal circles of those who tend to write reviews, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the movie might be able to connect with people in rural areas that rarely get to see themselves on screen.

Hillbilly Elegy has its issues, but it feels like a successful adaptation of a novel that may have been difficult to keep an audience invested in with all its flashbacks and jumps in time.

Netflix is also streaming the Italian drama THE LIFE AHEAD, directed by Edoardo Ponti, starring Oscar-winning actress Sophia Loren, who happens to also be the filmmaker’s mother. She plays Madame Rosa, a Holocaust survivor in Italy who takes a stubborn young street kid named Momo (Ibrahima Gueye), much to both their chagrin.

I’ll be shocked if Italy doesn’t submit Ponti’s film as their choice for the Oscar’s International Film category, because it has all of the elements that would appeal to Oscar voters. In that sense, I also found it to be quite traditional and formulaic. Loren is quite amazing, as to be expected, and I was just as impressed with young Ibrahima Gueye who seems to be able to hold his own in what’s apparently his first movie. There’s others in the cast that also add to the experience including a trans hooker named Lola, but it’s really the relationship between the two main characters that keeps you invested in the movie. I only wish I didn’t spend much of the movie feeling like I knew exactly where it’s going in terms of Rosa doing something to save the young boy and giving him a chance at a good life.

I hate to be cynical, but at times, this is so by the books, as if Ponti watched every Oscar movie and made one that had all the right elements to appeal to Oscar voters and wokesters alike. That aside, it does such a good job tugging at heartstrings that you might forgive how obviously formulaic it is.

Netflix is also premiering the fourth season of The Crown this week, starring Olivia Colman as Queen Elizabeth and bringing on board Gillian Anderson as Margaret Thatcher, Emma Corin, Helena Bonham Carter, Tobis Menzies, Marion Bailey and Charles Dancer. Quite a week for the streamer, indeed.

Another movie that may be in the conversation for Awards season is AMMONITE (NEON), the new film from Francis Lee (God’s Own Country), a drama set in 1840s England where Kate Winslet plays Mary Anning, a fossil hunter, tasked to look after melancholic young bride, Charlotte Murcheson (Saoirse Ronan), sent to the sea to get better only for them to get into a far more intimate relationship.

I had been looking forward to this film, having heard almost unanimous raves from out of Toronto a few months back. Maybe my expectations were too high, because while this is a well-made film with two strong actors, it’s also rather dreary and not something I necessarily would watch for pleasure. The comparisons to last year’s Portrait of a Lady on Fire (also released by NEON) are so spot-on that it’s almost impossible to watch this movie without knowing exactly where it’s going from the very minute that the two main characters meet.

Winslet isn’t bad in another glammed-down role where she can be particularly cantankerous, but knowing that the film would eventually take a sapphic turn made it somewhat predictable. Ronan seems to be playing her first outright adult role ever, and it’s a little strange to see her all grown-up after playing a teenager in so many movies.

The movie is just so contained to the one setting right up until the last 20 minutes when it actually lives the Lyme setting and lets us see the world outside Mary’s secluded lifestyle. As much as I wanted to love Ammonite, it just comes off as so obvious and predictable – and certainly not helped by coming out so soon after Portrait of a Lady. There’s also something about Ammonite that just feels so drab and dreary and not something I’d necessarily need to sit through a second time.

The animated film WOLFWALKERS (GKIds) is the latest from Tomm Moore and Ross Stewart, directors of the Oscar-nominated Secret of the Kells (Moore’s Song of the Sea also received an Oscar nomination a few years later.) It’s about a young Irish girl named Robyn (voiced Honor Kneafsey) who is learning to be hunter from her father (voiced by Sean Bean) to help him wipe out the last wolf pack. Roby then meets another girl (voiced by Eva Whittaker) who is part of a tribe rumored to transform into wolves by night.

I have to be honest that by the time I got around to start watching this, I was really burnt out and not in any mood to watch what I considered to look like a kiddie movie. It looks nice, but I’m sure I’d be able to enjoy it more in a different head (like watching first thing on a Saturday morning).

Regardless, Wolfwalkers will be in theaters nationwide this Friday and over the weekend via Fathom Events as well as get full theatrical runs at drive-ins sponsored by the Landmark, Angelika and L.A.’s Vineland before it debuts on Apple TV+ on December 11. Maybe I’ll write a proper review for that column. You can get tickets for the Fathom Events at WolfwalkersMovie.com.

Next up is Miles Joris-Peyrafitte’s DREAMLAND (Paramount), starring Margot Robbie as Allison Wells, a bank-robbing criminal on the loose who encounters young man named Eugene Evans (Finn Cole) in rural Dust Bowl era North Dakota and convinces him to hide her and help her escape the authorities by taking her to Mexico.

Another movie where I wasn’t expecting much, more due to the generic title and genre than anything else, but it’s a pretty basic story of a young man in a small town who dreams of leaving and also glamorizes the crime stories he read in pulps. Because of the Great Depression in the late ’20, the crime wave was spreading out across the land and affecting everyone, even in more remote locations like the one at the center of Dreamland.

The sad truth is that there have been so many better movies about this era, including Warren Beatty’s Bonnie and Clyde, Lawless and many others. Because of that, this might not be bad but it’s definitely trying to follow movies that leave quite a long shadow. The innocent relationship between Eugene and Allison does add another level to the typical gangster story, but maybe that isn’t enough for Dreamland to really get past the fact that the romantic part of their relationship isn’t particularly believable.

As much as this might have been fine as a two-hander, you two have Travis Fimmel as Eugene’s stepfather and another generic white guy in Garrett Hedlund playing Allison’s Clyde Barrow-like partner in crime in the flashbacks. Cole has enough trouble keeping on pace with Robbie but then you have Fimmel, who was just grossly miscast. The film’s score ended up being so overpowering and annoying I wasn’t even remotely surprised when I saw that Joris-Peyrafitte is credited with co-writing the film’s score.

Dreamland is fine, though it really needed to have a stronger and more original vision to stand out. It’s another classic case of an actor being far better than the material she’s been given. This is being given a very limited theatrical release before being on digital next Tuesday.

This might have been Netflix week, but maybe it could have been “Saban Films Week,” since the distributor also has three new movies. Actually, only two, because I screwed up, and I missed the fact that André Øvredal’s MORTAL was released by Saban Films LAST week. Not entirely my fault because for some reason, I had it opening this week, and I only realized that I was wrong last Wednesday. Oh, well. It stars Nate Wolff as Eric Bergeland, an American in Norway who seems to have some enigmatic powers, but after killing a young lad, he ends up on the lam with federal agent Christine (Iben Akerlie from Victoria).

This is another movie I really wanted to like since I’ve been such a fan of Øvredal from back to his movie Trollhunter. Certainly the idea of him taking a dark look at superpowers through the lends of Norse mythology should be right up my alley. Even so, this darker and more serious take on superpowers – while it might be something relatively unique and new in movies – it’s something anyone who has read comics has seen many times before and often quite better.

Wolff’s character is deliberately kept a mystery about where he comes from, and all we know is that he survived a fire at his farm, and we watched him kill a young man that’s part of a group of young bullies. From there, it kind of turns into a procedural as the authorities and Akerlie’s character tries to find out where Eric came from and got his powers. It’s not necessarily a slow or talkie movie, because there are some impressive set pieces for sure, but it definitely feels more like Autopsy of Jane Doe than Trollhunters. Maybe my biggest is that this is a relatively drab and lifeless performance by Wolff, who I’ve seen be better in other films.

Despite my issues, it doesn’t lessen my feelings about Øvredal as a filmmaker, because there’s good music and use of visual FX -- no surprise if you’ve seen Trollhunters -- but there’s still a really bad underlying feeling that you’re watching a lower budget version of an “X-Men” movie, and not necessarily one of the better ones. Despite a decent (and kinda crazy) ending, Mortal never really pays off, and it’s such a slog to get to that ending that people might feel slightly underwhelmed.

Seth Savoy’s ECHO BOOMERS (Saban Films) is a crime thriller based on a “true story if you believe in such things,” starring Patrick Schwarzenegger as Lance, a young art major, who falls in with a group of youths who break into rich people’s homes and trash them, also stealing some of the more valuable items for their leader Mel (Michael Shannon).

There’s a lot about Echo Boomers that’s going to feel familiar if you’ve seen Sofia Coppola’s The Bling Ring or the heist movie American Animals from a few years back, but even with those similarities, Seth Savoy has a strong cast and vision to make more out of the fairly weak writing than another director might manage. Schwarzenegger, who seems to be pulling in quite a wide range of roles for basically being another generic white actor is only part of a decent ensemble that includes Alex Pettyfer as the group’s ersatz alpha male Ellis and Hayley Law (also great in the recent Spontaneous) as his girlfriend Allie, the only girl taking part in the heists and destruction. Those three actors alone are great, but then you add Shannon just doing typically fantastic work as more of a catalyst than an antagonist.

You can probably expect there will be some dissension in the ranks, especially when the group’s “Fagan” Mel puts Lance in charge of keeping them in line and Allie forms a friendship with Lance. What holds the movie back is the decision to use a very traditional testimonial storytelling style where Lance and Allie narrate the story by relaying what happened to the authorities after their capture obviously. This doesn’t help take away from the general predictability of where the story goes either, because we’ve seen this type of thing going all the way back to The Usual Suspects.

While Echo Boomers might be fairly derivative of far better movies at times, it also has a strong directorial vision and a compelling story that makes up enough for that fact.

In theaters this Friday and then On Demand and Digital on November 24 is Eshom and Ian Nelms’ action-comedy FATMAN (Saban Films/Paramount), starring Mel Gibson as Santa Claus and Walton Goggins as the hired assassin sent to kill him by a spoiled rich boy named Billy (Chance Hurstfield) who unhappy with the presents he’s being brought for Christmas.

While we seem to be surrounded by high concept movies of all shapes and sizes, you can’t get much more high concept than having Mel Gibson playing a tough and cantankerous* Kris Kringle (*Is this the week’s actual theme?) who is struggling to survive with Mrs. Klaus (played by the wonderful Marianne Jean-Baptiste from In Fabric) when they’re given the opportunity to produce military grade items for the army using his speedy elf workshop. Unbeknownst to the Kringles, the disgruntled hitman who also feels he’s been let down by Santa is on his way to the North Pole to fulfill his assignment.

You’ll probably know whether you’ll like this movie or not since its snarkier comedic tone is introduced almost from the very beginning. This is actually a pretty decent role for Gibson that really plays up to his strengths, and it’s a shame that there wasn’t more to it than just a fairly obvious action movie that leads to a shoot-out. I probably should have enjoyed Goggins more in a full-on villainous role but having been watching a lot of him on CBS’ The Unicorn, it’s kind of hard to adjust to him playing this kind of role. I did absolutely love Marianne Jean-Baptiste and the warmth she brought to a relatively snarky movie.

I’m not sure if Fatman is the best showing of Eshom and Ian Nelms’ abilities as filmmakers, because they certainly have some, but any chance of being entertaining is tamped down by a feeling the filmmakers are constantly trying to play it safe. Because of this, Fatman has a few fun moments but a generally weak premise that never fully delivers. It would have thrived by being much crazier, but instead, it’s just far too mild.

Malin Åkerman stars in Paul Leyden’s CHICK FIGHT (Quiver Distribution) as Anna, a woman unhappy with her life and inability to survive on the little money she makes at her failing coffee shop. When Anna’s lesbian traffic cop friend Charleen (Dulcé Sloan) takes her to an underground fight club, Anna her trepidation about joining in, because she has never been in a fight in her life. Learning that her mother has a legacy at the club, Anna agrees to be trained by Alec Baldwin’s always-drunk Murphy in order to take on the challenges of the likes of Bella Thorne’s Olivia.

Another movie where I’m not sure where to begin other than the fact that I’m not sure I’ve seen a movie trying so hard to be fun and funny and failing miserably at both. Listen, I generally love Akerman, and I’m always hoping for her to get stronger material to match her talents, but this tries its best to be edgy without ever really delivering on the most important thing for any comedy: Laughs. Sure, the filmmakers try their best and even shoehorn a bit of romance for Anna in the form of the ring doctor played by Kevin Connolly from Entourage, but it does little to help distinguish the movie’s identity.

Listen, I’m not going to apologize for being a heterosexual male that finds Bella Thorne to be quite hot when she’s kicking ass in the ring. (I’m presuming that a lot of what we see in her scenes in the ring involves talented stuntwomen, but whoa! If that’s not the case.) Alec Baldwin seems to be in this movie merely as a favor to someone, possibly one of the producers, and when he disappears with no mention midway through the movie, you’re not particularly surprised. Another of trying too hard is having Anna’s father Ed (played by wrestler Kevin Nash) come out as gay and then use his every appearance to talk about his sex acts. Others in the cast like Fortune Feimster seem to be there mainly for their bulk and believability as fighters.

Ultimately, Chick Fight is a fairly lame and bland girl power movie written, directed and mostly produced by men. I’m not sure why anyone might be expecting more from it than being a poorly-executed comedy lacking laughs.

And yet, that wasn’t the worst movie of the weekend. That would be Andrzej Bartkowiak’s DEAD RECKONING (Shout! Studios). Yes, the Polish cinematographer and filmmaker who once made the amazing Romeo is Bleeding, starring Gary Oldman and Lena Olin, has returned with a movie with the onus of a premise that reads “a thriller inspired by the Boston Marathon bombing in 2013.” No, I did not make that up. It mostly takes place in Nantucket, Massachusetts, which I guess is sort of close to Boston, but instead it focuses on the relationship between teens Niko (K.J. Apa) and Tillie (India Eisley), the latter whose parents died in a plane crash that might have been caused by a terrorist. It just so happens that Niko’s brother Marco (Scott Adkins) is an Albanian terrorist. Coincidence? I think not!

Once you get past the most generic title ever, Dead Reckoning is just plain awful. I probably should have known what to expect when the movie opens with Eric “Never Turned Down a Job” Roberts, but also, I strong feel that Scott Adkins, better known for his martial arts skills, is easily one of the worst actors ever to be given lines to say in a movie. And yet, somehow, there are even worse actors in this movie. How is that even possible?

Although this presumed action movie opens with one of three or four fight sequences, we’re soon hanging out on the beach with a bunch of annoying teenagers, including Tillie, who is drowning the sorrow of recently losing her parents by literally drinking constantly in almost every single scene. When she meets the handsome Eastern European Niko, we think there’s some chance of Tillie being saved, but it isn’t meant to be.

Part of what’s so weird is that Dead Reckoning begins in territory familiar to fans of Barkowiak’s movies like Exit Wounds, Cradle 2 the Grave and Maximum Impact but then quickly shifts gears to a soppy teen romance. It’s weird enough to throw you off when at a certain point, it returns to the main plot, which involves Adkins’ terrorist plot and the search by FBI Agent Cantrell (played by James Remar) to find the culprit who killed Tillie’s parents. Oh, the FBI agent is also Tillie’s godfather. Of course, he is.

Beyond the fact that I spent much of the movie wondering what these teens in Nantucket have to do with the opening scene or the overall premise, this is a movie that anything that could be resembling talent or skill in Barkowiak’s filmmaking is long gone. Going past the horrendous writing – at one point, the exasperated and quite xenophobic Cantrell exclaims, “It’s been a nightmare since 9/11... who knows what's next?” -- or the inability of much of the cast to make it seem like anyone involved cares about making a good movie, the film is strangled by a score that wants to remind you it’s a thriller even as you watch people having fun on the beach on a sunny day.

Eventually, it does get back to the action with a fight between Cantrell and Marco… and then Marco gets into a fight with Tillie’s nice aunt nurse Jennifer where she has a surprisingly amount of fighting skills. There’s also Nico’s best friend who is either British or gay or both, but he spends every one of his scenes acting so pretentious and annoying, you kind of hope he’ll be blown up by terrorists. Sadly, you have to wait until the last act before the surfboards are pulled out. (Incidentally, filmmakers, please don’t call a character in your movie “Marco,” especially if that character’s name is going to be yelled out repeatedly, because it will just lead to someone in the audience to yell out “Polo!” This is Uwe Boll School of Bad Filmmaking 101!)

The point is that the movie is just all over the place yet in a place that’s even remotely watchable. There even was a point when Tillie was watching the video of her parents dying in a car crash for the third or fourth time, and I just started laughing, since it’s such a slipshod scene.

It’s very likely that Dead Reckoning will claim the honor of being the worst movie I’ve seen this year. Really, the only way to have any fun watching this disaster is to play a drinking game where you take a drink every time Eisley’s character takes a drink. Or better yet, just bail on the movie and hit the bottle, because I’m sure whoever funded this piece of crap is.

Opening at New York’s Film Forum on Wednesday is Manfred Kirchheimer’s FREE TIME (Grasshopper/Cinema Conservancy), another wonderful doc from one of the kings of old school cinema verité documentary filmmaking, consisting of footage of New York City from 1960 that’s pieced together with a wonderful jazz score. Let me tell you that Kirschheimer’s work is very relaxing to watch and Free Time is no exception. Plus the hour-long movie will premiere in Film Forum’s Virtual Cinema, accompanied by Rudy Burckhardt’s 1953 film Under the Brooklyn Bridge which captures Brooklyn in the ‘50s.

Also opening in Film Forum’s Virtual Cinema Friday is Hong Khaou’s MONSOON (Strand Releasing) starring Henry Golding (Crazy Rich Asians) as Kit, who returns to Ho Chi Minh City for the first time since his family fled after the Vietnam War when he was six. As he tries to make sense of it, he ends in a romance with Parker Sawyers’ American ex-pat and forms a friendship with a local student (Molly Harris). Unfortunately, I didn’t have the chance to watch this one before finishing up this column but hope to catch soon, because I do like Golding as an actor.

I shared my thoughts on Werner Herzog and Clive Oppenheimer’s FIREBALL: VISITORS FROM DARK WORLDS, when it played at TIFF in September, but this weekend, it will debut on Apple TV+. It’s another interesting and educational science doc from Herr Herzog, this time teaming with the younger Cambridge geoscientist and “volcanologist” to look at the evidence left behind by meteors that have arrived within the earth’s atmosphere, including the races that worship the falling space objects.

Opening at the Metrograph this week (or rather on its website) is Shalini Kantayya’s documentary CODED BIAS, about the widespread bias in facial recognition and the algorithms that affect us all, which debuted Weds night and will be available on a PPV basis and will be available through November 17. The French New Wave anthology Six In Paris will also be available as a ticketed movie ($8 for members/$12 for non-members) through April 13. Starting Thursday as part of the Metrograph’s “Live Screenings” is Steven Fischler and Joel Sucher’s Free Voice of Labor: The Jewish Anarchists from 1980. Fischler’s earlier doc Frame Up! The imprisonment of Martin Sostre from 1974 will also be available through Thursday night.

Sadly, there are just way too many movies out this week, and some of the ones I just wasn’t able to get to include:

Dating Amber (Samuel Goldwyn) The Giant (Vertical) I Am Greta (Hulu) Dirty God (Dark Star Pictures) Where She Lies (Gravitas Ventures) Maybe Next Year (Wavelength Productions) Come Away (Relativity) Habitual (National Amusements) The Ride (Roadside Attractions, Forest, ESX) Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey (Netflix) Transference: A Love Story (1091) Sasquatch Among the Wildmen (Uncork’d) All Joking Aside (Quiver Distribution) Secret Zoo (MPI Medi Group/Capelight Pictures)

By the way, if you read this week’s column and have bothered to read this far down, I think you’re very special and quite good-looking. Feel free to drop me some thoughts at Edward dot Douglas at Gmail dot Com or drop me a note or tweet on Twitter. I love hearing from readers … honest!

#Movies #reviews #Mank #TheClimb #Freaky #Fatman #Heartland #Mortal #EchoBoomers #VOD #Streaming #TheLifeAhead #HillbillyElegy

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