#i WILL suspend my disbelief for this show but youre asking a lot of me here!!!!

[darcyolsson]

the cover art of aurora supposedly being a candid picture of daisy and billy fighting taken by camila is kinda funny bc in the scene itself theyre 1 badly timed insult away from ripping each others hair out but then the picture is like. a closeup of them lovingly gazing into each others eyes

#i thought from the trailers it would in fact be a candid of them fighting taken by camila #but i wondered how they would frame it to seem logical and the answer is. they did not #sorry im just being a hater its a pretty picture i just dont think it works story-wise #like. how did camila get a hd closeup without any kind of macro lens when she was standing like 200m away 10m down #i WILL suspend my disbelief for this show but youre asking a lot of me here!!!! #personal #djats #djats spoilers

[thisaccountisagainstmywill]

BG3 Characters Safest Driver Headcanons

I've been thinking about that poll from months ago way too much, so I've pulled this from my drafts. In this essay, I will explain why Boo is the best driver. Astarion: Terrible. Absolutely terrible driver. He is doing his makeup with the visor down, looking at the mirror more than the road. Suspend your disbelief, he's driving in this universe. He can use mirrors. ♥ You have to grab the steering wheel, regularly. Without warning, the man twists around to find his purse in the back seat because he wants a different eyeliner than what he grabbed. You are on aux duty. He hates everything you've picked. 2/10, he lawyered his way into that license Gale: You would think he would be safe, but then you remember that Gale didn't pay attention in boring classes. And how hard could driving really be?? The man knows how to drive perfectly textbook. He also thinks he knows how to do it better than everyone else. He does not adapt well to poor drivers. The roads are full of poor drivers. He is yeling "Zipper!" at the merging traffic. You spend five minutes in the parking lot so he can find just the right song for the trip.

6/10, you will probably not die Halsin: The man drives slow, I'm sorry. He's fuel efficient as you can get with the windows down. He pulls over and stops traffic for ducks crossing the road, no matter what the current road conditions are. He stops to show you the new tree the neighbor got. He is a Yellowstone Park tourist. He wants to show you the world, one traffic-stopping mid-road parking job at a time. There is no music, we are listening to nature today. 4/10, you will be rear-ended with him and not the way most people want Jaheira: I stand by what I said last time: Jaheira reminds me of so many older women I know. She drives like she wants someone to start shit with her. She's so conditioned by having 5 kids fighting in the backseat at all times that every time she's behind the wheel she's having Vietnam-level flashbacks. Her blood is pumping in her ears. There is no road, there is only the red of her vision. She won't start the road rage incident directly, but by god, she will end it. (You tried to ask about music, but the look she gave you when asked killed the question.) 5/10, you make it to your destination intact. But at what cost? Your pants are a different color at the end of the trip than they were at the beginning. Karlach: Karlach is talking with her hands while she drives. She's fiddling with the radio constantly. You've blown four red lights. Three of them were the same red light because she took a wrong turn. She will not use GPS, she's got the vibe of where she's going. She was trying to show you something on her phone at the same time. It cannot wait. It was so good you have to see it right now. The tunes are so loud she hasn't heard the sirens behind her. 4/10, the tunes almost make up for it Lae'zel: You are helping her check her mirror distance before you get in the car. You are buckled in before the car even starts. You are not allowed to touch the light in the car if it is dark out. She was taught that it's illegal to have on at night and she takes that shit seriously. You are on blindspot-watching duty at all times. You're not allowed to have music on the in car, it is a distraction. 7/10, we are efficient, but we are miserable Minsc: Minsc cannot drive. Minsc was meant to drive today, but Minsc got into the wrong seat. We are all relieved. Jaheira trained him wrong on purpose and will kill you if you correct him. 0/10, don't even try. He will survive the accident, you will not. Minthara: Minthara, light of my life. She is gremlin cackling and riding bumpers the whole time. People are pulling off constantly to get away from her. You are white-knuckling in the passenger seat and are too afraid to let go of the bitch-bar. You pray her airbags are up to date because your life has not stopped flashing before your eyes since you got onto the road. We are exclusively listening to The Flight of the Valkyries. 7/10, it is shockingly efficient when no one else is on the road anymore

Shadowheart: I have been in many a 'Shadowhearts' car. The car is more of a problem than she is. She drives the type of car that makes people go, "You live like this?" She drives a manual. She was not trained to drive a manual. Almost every single dash light is on, the ones that aren't had their bulbs die out years ago. We don't know how old that trash is, but it lives here now. She has one of those cassette players that has to hook into your phone to come out the speakers. Good luck finding the right adaptor in the mess. 4/10, girl get your shit together Wyll: Wyll is the best driver, hands down...when he is alone. Like all things in his life, his greatest flaw is being too polite. He turns his whole fucking head to look at you when you talk because that is the polite thing to do. The road is secondary to how important your conversation and companionship are to him. And you can't not talk him! He's asking you genuine questions about your day because he's interested. You get to listen to whatever you want and he's totally down for it even if it's not normally his thing. He'll find something he likes about it. Alone: 100/10, he somehow makes everyone better drivers by just being on the road With you: 5/10, Wyll, please, look at the road. ;_;

Boo: My eyes are closed. It's better this way. We made it there in record time. I don't know how it happened. I don't need to know how it happened. ?/10, it's best if you don't think about it

#bg3 #bg3 shitpost #shitpost headcanons #astarion #gale #bg3 gale #karlach #lae'zel #shadowheart #bg3 shadowheart #wyll #bg3 wyll #halsin #minthara #minsc #minsc and boo #boo #bg3 boo #jaheira

[itsokbbygrl]

Old Dogs and New Tricks

Summary: Sarah Miller has always loved her dad, maybe especially today. Years of long days at work and longer nights taking classes and studying have lead to this--his college graduation day. When the Miller family is interrupted during their impromptu picture time, Sarah thinks there might be one more person who could love her dad, too.

Word Count: 3k, one-shot

Rating: T (some swearing)

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader/OFC

Tags: FLUFF, TOOTH ROTTING FLUFF, BRUSH YOUR TEETH AND FLOSS AFTER THIS ONE!!!, mild swearing, Sarah Miller POV, briefly Joel Miller POV, likely some University of Texas at Austin graduation inaccuracies, adult learner gets his diploma yay, Uncle Tommy is an A+ wingman, almost zero description of reader aside from having hair long enough to tuck behind an ear, wearing a dress, and having a shimmering laugh, but Joel and Sarah both refer to reader as a woman and use she/her pronouns, no y/n, no 2nd person perspective, reader/OFC has an unspecified family outside of 1 sister

A/N: Helloooooooooo this is the first thing I've ever published here holy shiiiiiiit. I was scrolling on Pinterest for interior design inspo and came across this adorable photo and immediately went, "omg Joel and Sarah core."

So naturally, I had to write it and set it in the HBO TLOU timeline. Sarah is 10 and we're going to suspend our disbelief about the technology of the year 2000 a little bit okay??? Digital cameras were not that good and very expensive and most people still did not have cell phones, but THE MILLERS DO OK. Anyway without further ado, I give you that (not so) old man doing something adorable. I hope you like it! My DMs and inbox are always open (yes I lovingly refer to you all as my little chickens, come say hi to me!). Reblogs and comments are appreciated per usual. 💖 Banner and title card made by me with the help of Canva :)

Sarah loves a lot of things about her life–her soccer team, her fourth grade teacher, all of the friends she’s made in her 10 years of life–but if you asked her what she loved most of all, she would say her family, hands down. Her family is small–just she, her dad, and her uncle Tommy–but their love for each other is anything but. It’s been the three of them her whole life and she’s never felt like there were any missing pieces, until one fateful Saturday in May. 

Sarah has spent nearly her entire life being told how proud her dad is of her, but today is a day Sarah is determined to show her dad how proud she is of him. She knows he tries to hide how stressed he’s been the last few years, how tired, but she’s a smart girl and she, to her dad’s chagrin, notices everything. Sarah almost can’t contain her excitement for her dad as her uncle Tommy parks his truck in the vast expanse of the University of Texas at Austin’s football stadium parking lot. She hops out of the backseat and slams the door like Tommy taught her to make sure it closes all the way on its rusty old hinges, and then bends at her waist to brush any pesky wrinkles from her dress. She wanted to look extra nice for today, trying to tame her thick, curly hair by tying it back in a low bun and fashioning her favorite flower pin on the side, donning her favorite sundress and the sandals her grandma said were nice enough for Sunday church. If they were nice enough for grandma’s church, they were definitely nice enough for her dad’s graduation, she figured. 

Sarah finds Tommy around the front of the truck as he’s pulling their entry tickets from his wallet. “Here you go, kiddo,” he says, extending a ticket to her with a smile. She replies her thanks before following him towards the imposing stadium ahead. Tommy helps lead them through the crowd, consistently checking to make sure she’s still near, Sarah offering him a smile each time she catches him looking. Their seats are up high, in the top third of the stadium bleachers. Sarah thinks she hears Tommy mutter something about only getting good seats if you donate a bunch of money under his breath, but she isn’t sure what exactly he means, so she ignores it. 

“Do you know where dad’s going to be?” Sarah asks her uncle. She wants to know where to look, doesn’t want to miss a minute of this, and she’s dubbed herself unofficial photographer for the day, so she wants to make sure she knows where to point the camera at all times. 

“Not yet, honey. We’ll keep our ears open, they usually announce each college as they come in, so we’ll know when to look for your dad,” Tommy reasons. 

“Good plan,” Sarah nods in return, eyes focusing back on the field ahead. 

Once it appears the seats have nearly filled, Sarah checks her trusty watch and sees the time has just passed 2:00, the scheduled start time for today’s ceremony. As if she triggered it herself, her head perks up as the sound of brass instruments rings out through the stadium, signaling the start of the ceremony. She watches the entrance of students intently, hoping to catch a glimpse of her dad. 

Sarah turns in her seat and asks, “Uncle Tommy, can I have the camera, please?” 

Tommy fishes in his pocket and pulls out the requested camera, placing it in Sarah’s open palm. “Yup, got it right here. You gonna be on photography duty today?” Tommy chuckles as he watches Sarah’s brows pull together just like her dad’s as she fiddles with the buttons on the camera until the settings are to her liking. 

“You bet,” Sarah answers, poking her tongue between her teeth as she looks down at the small digital viewfinder. “Can’t see anything, gonna use the zoom and see if I can see any better through the screen.”

Tommy lets out a low whistle, “Smarty pants over here, did we forget your cap and gown? Shouldn’t you be down there?” He jokes and pokes her in the ribs to make her giggle. 

“Uncle Tommy! Stop!” She laughs. “I’m trying to focus!”

“Alright, alright, kiddo. I’ll let you focus. Let me know if you find him.”

“Aye aye, captain,” Sarah salutes in return, earning a chuckle out of her uncle. 

The McComb School of Business is announced and Sarah sits up a little straighter, refocusing her efforts to capture every important moment. She squints against the afternoon sun, determined to find her dad amongst the long line of pending graduates. 

“There!” she points and Tommy follows her finger, trying to find what she’s seeing. “See his hat? I told him he needed to put something on it so we could find him and he told me to go wild, so I did. I knew that orange glitter glue would come in handy.”

Tommy spots him then, laughing when Sarah shows him the picture she’s snapped on the little screen, Joel’s graduation cap adorned with orange glitter glue that reads, “This old dog learned new tricks,” accompanied by two clip art dogs pasted on opposite corners. 

“D’you come up with that all on your own, smarty pants?” Tommy asks her. 

“Sure did,” Sarah chuffs. “Dad always says, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” when he doesn’t want to learn stuff like the camera or the computer, so I thought it would be funny,” she finishes with a shrug. Tommy silently laughs, his shoulders gently shaking, and Sarah smiles to herself. 

If there’s one thing Sarah will take away from this day it’s that graduation ceremonies are long and boring. There are about two minutes where she focuses intently as her dad’s row rises to make their way up to the stage. She diligently keeps the camera pointed his way, snapping pictures every so often. As he prepares to take the stage, she and Tommy stand from their seats. 

“Joel Alejandro Miller,” the announcer reads. Sarah and Tommy whoop and cheer as Joel crosses the stage, Sarah keeping the camera trained on her dad, making sure to press the shutter a few times as he shakes hands with the chancellor and receives his diploma. The rest of the ceremony goes by relatively uneventfully, until the graduates are instructed to stand and change their tassels from right to left. There’s a murmur through the audience and then the students erupt in a spirited rendition of, “The Eyes of Texas.” Sarah smiles as she watches the new graduates laugh and sing, throwing arms around friends and pointing to the sky. Once the song ends, the graduates then whoop and throw their caps into the air, and Sarah raises the camera once more to snap a couple final pictures. 

The crowd starts to dissipate, attendees making their way towards the exits to find their respective graduates. Sarah looks over the railing of the ramp as she and Tommy work their way down from their seats and watches as the mass of bodies move through the corridor, thinking about how they resemble a school of fish, almost liquid in the way they shift to accommodate obstacles in the hall. 

After a few minutes of shuffling, she and Tommy find the exit out of the stadium, heading towards the spot they designated to meet Joel after the ceremony. Sarah spots him first, poking Tommy in the arm and pointing his way. Tommy nods in acknowledgement, giving her the okay to head over. She looks both ways to make sure the coast is clear before breaking out in a jog. 

“Dad!” she calls, waving her arms to get Joel’s attention. His natural scowl drops the minute he sees her, face breaking out into a wide grin, and opens his arms as she rushes forward. Sarah meets him with force, earning a quiet, “Oof,” from her dad as she wraps her arms around his middle and hugs him tight. 

“You did it! I’m so proud of you!” Sarah tells him, not letting go, but tipping her head back to look him in the eyes. If she notices the extra glimmer along his waterline, she doesn’t say anything. He pulls her in tighter, giving her small shoulders a squeeze, and Sarah feels the deep rumble of his laughter in her cheek. 

“Thanks, babygirl. I’m so glad you came,” Joel tells her, rubbing up and down her back before letting her go from his embrace. 

“Hey old man, proud of you brother,” Tommy greets Joel with a smile and a hug, the brothers exchanging firm pats on the back before separating. Joel gives him a half smile and thanks him for coming and for bringing Sarah.

Sarah steps back from their little group and realizes her dad has already taken off his cap and gown, and that just won’t do. 

“Dad, where’s your hat and robe?” Sarah chides, putting her hands on her hips and giving him a serious look. 

“It was hot, so I took them off,” Joel answers. 

“Well, put them back on! We need to get pictures!” Sarah iterates, raising the camera in front of her dad’s face and giving it a shake. 

Joel sighs, but relents. “Alright, alright, gimme a second, kiddo, then you can play photographer.” They find an open spot on the lawn and Sarah powers up the camera again, using the viewfinder to ensure the shot is lined up just right. 

“Ok, 1, 2, 3…say, “Hook ‘em!”” Sarah says. 

Joel smiles and entertains his daughter’s request. “Hook ‘em!” he says, smiling for the camera. 

“Ok, this one, hold up your diploma,” Sarah requests and Joel again complies. “Can we do one more?” Sarah asks. 

Joel gives her a nod, “Sure thing, honey.”

“Ok, this one, do the Hook ‘Em horns,” Sarah says and she does the gesture with her own small hand. Joel mimics his daughter and smiles for the camera as she snaps the picture. She pulls up the recent shots and turns the camera towards her dad to review them together, unaware that they’ve been watched for the last few minutes. 

“Excuse me,” a soft voice interrupts Sarah and Joel from their scrolling and they look up to find a new member has joined their party. 

“Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt, I just saw your daughter taking pictures and I thought y’all might want a few together?” Wow, pretty, Sarah thinks as she assesses the stranger. 

Joel clears his throat and Sarah turns her head to see her dad’s cheeks have flushed a new shade of pink as he stammers out a, “That’s awful kind of you, darlin’. Thanks for offerin’, we’d love that.” Sarah’s mouth ticks up into a smirk, the dimple she shares with her dad crescenting her cheek. She turns to Tommy and they share a knowing look. 

“Thank you, ma’am. You just press this button here,” Sarah hands over the camera and shows the pretty stranger how to operate it.

“Got it, thanks, sweetie,” she replies before bringing the camera’s viewfinder up to her eye and lining up the duo. “Ok, big smiles,” she says and clicks the shutter. She smiles and moves the camera away from her face for a moment to direct, “How about we get one with both of you showing us your best “Hook ‘Em” next,” before once again snapping the photo. “Alright, let’s do one more. Gimme your best silly faces!” and she lets out a shimmering laugh as she presses the shutter a final time. 

“Perfect,” she says to the small family, smiling and handing the camera to Joel, their fingers brushing briefly as the camera exchanges hands before both of their eyes lift to meet. Tension lingers only for a moment at the contact before they both let out breathy chuckles. The stranger lifts her hand and tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear, Joel’s gaze following the motion, Sarah’s gaze locked on her father. 

“This was real kind of you, darlin’. Thanks again for helping us out,” Joel says, trying to extend the moment just a little longer. 

“Oh, it was nothin’. My pleasure, really,” she replies in kind, waving him off, her gaze dropping shyly to the ground. “Well,” she continues, bringing her gaze back to Joel’s, “I better head back or my sister,” she turns her torso and gestures to where her party is standing and carrying on conversation, “will never let me hear the end of it, how I deserted her on her own graduation day after she spent torturous hours sitting through mine a few years back,” She chuckles softly and clasps her hands in front of her, kicking out one foot and cocking her hip slightly to the side. 

“Alright, s'pose we better let you get on back then,” Joel replies. Sarah catches a sadness in her dad’s eyes at their pretty stranger’s words. “Thanks again…I know, I know, I’ll stop,” he laughs when she gives him a stink eye at his persistent gratitude. “Have fun with your family. And pass on our congrats to your sister.”

“I will,” she nods before taking a visible breath and waving goodbyes to the three Millers. She turns and heads back towards her own family. Sarah watches her dad watch her the entire time she goes, turning to Tommy and sharing an unspoken conversation before Tommy breaks the silence. 

“Alright, brother, why don’t you say hi to your fancy college buddies before we head out. I’ll entertain the sprout for a few minutes. Then we can head out for ice cream,” Tommy says, pulling Sarah into his arms and giving her a soft noogie while she cringes good naturedly. 

“Uncle Tommy! Stop, you’re going to mess up my hair!” Sarah complains. Tommy relents and Joel eyes the pair suspiciously, but ultimately agrees. He gives the camera back to Sarah for safekeeping, and she dramatically tells him she’ll protect it with her life. He laughs before leaving the pair on the lawn to find a few of his classmates and professors. 

Once he’s out of eye and earshot, Sarah and Tommy form a quick plan and spring into action. 

It’s getting late, the sun set, the evening sky dark and air heavy with the remaining heat and moisture from the day. Joel is sat in his makeshift home office at his messy desk, camera in hand, flipping through the pictures Sarah took earlier in the day. She got some pretty good shots, rolling his eyes and shaking his head fondly when he realizes how gaudy his cap looked from the crowd. 

He gets to the pictures of he and Sarah together and smiles, loving how happy his little girl looks, how proud she clearly is of him, how much fun they have together. He tries and fails not to think of the beautiful woman who took those pictures earlier, of the jolt of electricity that zipped up his arm and ran through his heart when their fingers touched, and he especially tries not to think about how he never managed to get her name. 

Just when he thinks he’s gotten to the end, the silly faces he and Sarah made only hours ago staring back at him through the small camera screen, he notices the number in the upper righthand corner. 24/25. There’s one more. He flips to it curiously, finding a special face looking back at him. A wide toothy smile, hair still tucked behind one ear, gorgeous little sundress that should have been illegal to wear out in public, and…holding a piece of paper? There’s something written on there and Joel desperately wants to know what it says, but for the life of him, he can’t remember how Sarah told him to work the goddamn zoom. 

He flips to the picture before, of him and Sarah making silly faces, swallows his pride and prepares himself for the shit he knows he’s about to get from his daughter before bellowing out, “Sarah! Babygirl, can you come here, please? Need you to help me with the camera!”

Sarah bounds into the room, sly grin already plastered on her face. Joel holds out the camera and asks, “How do you work the zoom on this thing again?”

Sarah walks over to her dad and points out the buttons he needs to use. “These right here, the plus sign zooms in, the minus sign zooms out, and you use these,” she moves her finger down to the directional arrow buttons that form a small circle on the lower right side of the camera, “to move the picture around when you’re zoomed in. Make sense?”

“Clear as mud,” Joel replies, giving the buttons a try to make sure he has it before dismissing his daughter, thanking her for her help, and thinks he hears her mutter something about old dogs and new tricks as she leaves the room. 

Joel turns his head to make sure Sarah isn’t hanging around before flipping back to the last picture on the digital version of a camera roll. He does as Sarah instructed, presses the plus button until the picture is zoomed in enough that he can read the paper being held up to the camera. No fucking way. He blinks, squints, rubs his eyes, and looks again, but his eyes did not deceive him. Written on the paper in a looping scrawl is undeniably a phone number. Joel leans back in his chair and brings his hand up to his mouth before pulling it down and resting on his lap. He stares at the screen for a moment in disbelief before letting out a low chuckle. He looks away from the screen and over towards the office entrance again, thinking about Tommy and Sarah and their insistence to hang back and let Joel congratulate his classmates and thank his professors. 

“Son of a bitch,” Joel murmurs to himself. He shakes his head and looks back at the screen. He holds his gaze there for a minute, then one more, before he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his cell phone, punching in the number and hitting the green call button before he loses his nerve. 

The line rings once, twice, three times, and Joel thinks maybe this was a mistake, calling a relative stranger after a brief (at most) meeting, but then the ringing stops and a newly familiar voice answers with a soft, “Hello?”

Joel smiles as his anxieties drift away, “Hey, darlin’. Nice to hear your voice again.”

END

Tagging some friends who might be interested: @5oh5 @javierpena-inatacvest @swiftispunk @sawymredfox

#holy shit i actually posted something #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #the last of us au #pre outbreak!joel #LJ writes #IT'S A TAG IT'S OFFICIAL

[olderthannetfic]

I have a question. I’m new to the discourse around fanfiction & censorship, so I was curious about what the general consensus regarding fic about underaged characters in live action media was. Underage is my biggest squick, but I feel pretty neutral about how people write/draw smut of cartoon characters, as they barely register as human for me. Characters played by actual child actors though… I guess I’m just wondering what’s going through the heads of people who write that stuff? Or minor rpf for that matter. What is appealing about it? I’m willing suspend my disbelief & accept that they don’t actually want to abuse kids, but like, what is fulfilling about that fantasy? I’m not in favor of censorship or arresting anyone over a fictional story, but I just can’t wrap my head around it.

--

That's quite a failure of imagination there, anon.

Other people are not you, and they don't necessarily have this squick. That's the main answer.

From people who don't try to problematize this, there isn't really any discourse. Fiction is fiction.

Cartoon characters register as people to plenty of viewers. (And moron antis think cartoon characters count just as much as live action ones when it comes to screaming about problematicness.) Actors playing teenagers are often in their 20s. Coming of age novels dealing with sexuality have been normal all over the world since forever.

--

But let's start with some low hanging fruit:

If you're 17 years + 364 days, you're below the age of consent lots of places. Do you, anon, honestly think it's weird to be into someone one day before their 18th birthday but not the day after? What if you live somewhere where the age of consent is 16? Is it still weird to be into 17-year-olds from places where the age of consent is 18?

Most people remember being teenagers. They may feel nostalgic. They may want to imagine the nice teenage experiences they never got to have.

Lots of fic writers are currently teenagers. Not as many as ageist online spaces think, but still quite a lot. Is it weirder for a 15-year-old to have a crush on a 15-year-old than a 40-year-old?

"They looked 18, Your Honor" is a weak-ass excuse for fucking underage people in real life, but that's not the same as finding characters on your tv hot. Not only are the actors usually above 18 because filming underage actors is a fucking nightmare logistically due to work constraints, but a lot of younger actors are often made up in ways that make them look like they could be way older. People also vary widely in how they look at various ages.

If you can accept that lust exists and is valid, you can accept that lots of people will see some teen and think they're hot. There isn't some specific categorical difference in how all teenagers look and how all 20-somethings look.

Doing something about it in real life and doing something about it in fiction are different.

--

Now, as for "child actors", that term is used for a wide variety of ages, but let's assume you mean Stranger Things wank, like most people moaning about underage actor RPF do, so we're talking about tweens who genuinely do look pretty young to grown-ass adults.

The first thing I have to ask you is why the fuck you would imagine that writers identify with some adult fucking these kids? It's far, far more likely that they identify with the characters themselves or the actors.

Why would they identify with them? It could be anything from working through their own trauma at a similar age to just liking the vibe of a character because of how the show is written.

Lots of people's brains barf out dark scenarios 24/7 without them ever having experienced any major trauma and without it meaning anything much. Some people channel that into fiction.

If you are a boring person who has both a vanilla brain and no imagination, this might seem surprising to you, but it shouldn't.

--

Moreover, your ask implies that underage fic is highly sexual or maybe coercive or something, but you haven't actually stated that. Are we talking about rapefic of 5-year-olds or about someone writing the Stranger Things characters holding hands?

Are you just not sexual at all, anon? Personally, I went from zero to MEGA HORNY at thirteen and a half. It was like a switch flipped. Sure, I wasn't getting any action because I was a zit-covered and socially incompetent 13-year-old, but I was definitely interested.

It's not strange that an artist or author of whatever sort would explore puberty in their art. It's not strange that they'd remember their own sexual awakening or that this awakening would be long before age 18.

It's also not strange if people write super dark shit about small children because it being extreme and taboo and horrible is often the point of art.

--

You're "willing to suspend disbelief"? How magnanimous! How generous!

Seriously, anon?!

The way you've phrased this question makes it sound like you have a brain the size of a walnut.

Would you ask such a stupid question in such an offensively loaded manner about all the coming of age novels that are considered Great Literature™? Would you ask why YA exists?

And if you wouldn't, why is it that amateur writing by women and sexual minorities makes you nervous when mainstream-approved things don't?

[panlight]

I'm not sure if its possible to get something like pigs blood from a butcher in the US, but i feel like someone like Esme would prefer that over hunting animals.

And maybe Carlisle and Rosalie would work on a blood alternative, kind of like TruBlood, for vampires.

What are your thoughts on that?

My understanding is that it's tricky in the US to find it, but with the Cullens' money they could probably pay off some local butchers to save blood for them. Just imagining Esme being like "oh I make authentic black pudding and sell it online!" as an explanation and they make like a fake online store front for it and then people start trying to actually order it and she's like, oh crap I guess I have to make some now? Like when you read stories about restaurants that were really fronts for mob activity but someone wanders in and the mobsters have to get their mom to cook some pasta for the oblivious customers.

But, really, if SM were more interested in 'vampire slice of life' stuff AND if she had more room in her story for the secondary characters to have desires and motivations outsides of either facilitating or resenting the main romance, of course Carlisle would have been trying to make a blood substitute, and of course Rosalie and Edward, with their various STEM degrees, would be helping him. And OF COURSE they would have researched the myths surrounding vampires having children long before Bella got pregnant. It's absolutely impossible for me to suspend my disbelief to accept that the Cullens and especially Carlisle were just like 'wow we literally never thought or wondered about this until just now' when Bella gets pregnant. Esme and Rosalie LONG for children! SURELY they've researched this before!?!? I could accept that they researched it but found no concrete evidence and thought it was just a myth made up by the Volturi or whatever but just the 'literally no idea . . . even though apparently there are books in our library about it, and our groundskeepers on Isle Esme know about it, and there are websites online about it' does not make sense to me unless the Cullens have just literally been standing around like unplayed Sims waiting for Edward and Bella to need them for something.

I also think the Cullens probably should have been working on some kind of sparkle-suppressing vampire make-up. I've seen people asking why they don't just use make-up to hide the sparkle or look older, but since their skin is so different from human skin, normal make-up probably wouldn't work that well. But again, you've got Alice the fashion maven and bunch of other vampires with backgrounds in biology and they can't put their heads together and come up with some kind of vampire-friendly, sparkle-proof foundation?

Again, I get it: at the end of the day Twilight is a romance, and romances generally and understandably have a narrow focus on the central relationship. But romances don't usually have so MANY side characters, either. Realistically, I would expect the Cullens, with their various medical and scientific studies, abundant free time (no sleep!) and unlimited wealth, would have already solved a lot of living-as-a-vampire problems by the time Bella showed up.

Assuming they can be solved, of course. Maybe vampire venom on the skin really just makes any make-up lasting for more than a half hour impossible. Maybe a blood substitute just doesn't work because there's some magical 'blood is the life' thing going on here. Maybe pig's blood is just too impractical to get from a butcher in the volume they need it. Maybe the act of hunting helps them release tension and they realize they miss it.

But yeah I'd have loved to have seen more of this. There's some stuff in Midnight Sun that hints at the stuff the Cullens get up to, but it's more like, Emmett and Jasper's complicated chess game with multiple boards, or Alice and Rosalie designing clothes on the computer. I don't think SM really thought about 'what would a vampire doctor who wants to be as human as possible be researching in his spare time?' and so we missed out on some of this stuff.

#asks

[starplusfourletters]

I read vision of the future (hand of thrawn book 2 aka Who Scams the Scammers)

(spoilers) and once again it turned into a liveblog, apologies

Hold up are we doing Warrior Cats? Is this Warrior Cats Planet??

What base is “arm around your waist to serve as a psychic translator conduit”

Omigod I WISH my Warrior Cat name were “Jaded of Mara”

Everything I know about Soontir Fel I learned from x wing but I would not have guessed his primary motivation to be "dirt"

@ luke and mara: the girls are talkingggggg

North Barris Spaceport has me twitching

Ghent not remembering who the president is and just assuming it’s probably Leia. I mean fair

What base is "holding hands to brace yourselves over a swarm of flesh eating insects"

So we’re finally asking why Mara ISN’T actually dark side and the answer is… shrug emoji?

Man Zahn really is stuck on “character bonding hike” as a device huh. But consider I eat that shit up

Oh No Lando is racist

LMAO at “so oblivious you need a child pterodactyl to tell you to just kiss already” to “besides I don’t want my life to be like spiderman three I hated that movie” to “kissing with dubious consent” ALL ON THE SAME PAGE like Zahn finally realized he really needed to get this show on the road

LMAO at Ghent getting a free pass from Pellaeon to hack the empire. Like you’re just going to get the thing you need and not steal all of our military and political secrets right? Riiiight? Even more LMAO at the fact that that would probably not even occur to Ghent

When everyone assumes they're the protagonist so finding this one macguffin is their job personally. Like guys I like the energy but maybe we've got enough different plans to do the same thing (the exception, hilariously, being Luke) (and Oh No it turns out Luke is the one to find the macguffin because You Have to Follow Your Heart and Let the MacGuffin Come to You. I eat that shit up also)

Mara’s just... So great.

Not to make everything about my blorbo but absolutely to make everything about my blorbo I do wonder to what extent Ahsoka’s characterization post-Rebels doesn’t click for me is because a lot of the more obvious directions for Oldsoka overlap with Mara, and the powers that be didn’t want to reinvent the Mara Jade wheel. Not to say they have similar characterization – Mara has terminal sam coded dean girl syndrome – but idk, in dynamic range maybe? Calling out bullshit, weaponizing her own abrasiveness, covering insecurity with humor, being Kind of a Lot with a side of trust issues at any given moment – there are modes Mara and Youngsoka share that didn’t pass to Oldsoka apparently. Idk possibly all this is just me wanting them to TALK

Establishing that you can do evil things for selfless reasons without necessarily being in any danger of falling to the dark side is... Philosophically interesting

We interrupt this tale of political espionage to bring you Jedi Relationship Counseling (spoiler alert: communication is key)

"That part of her life [Mara’s time with Palpatine] had died unmourned" I mean mourned a little bit. Mourned for at least a book and a half

I've been willing to suspend my disbelief on everything in this book until "both Luke and Mara forget that ysalamiri exist"

I will never not be a sucker for The Movements and Transferred Ownership of Emotionally Significant Weapons

Oh No thrawn made a second foundation

The Aing-Tii seem OP but whatever

Oh No the second foundation forgot to close the garage doors

(Re: The Jade’s Fire) I know Mara’s having a Moment, and I promise I’m taking it seriously, but when the warrior cat asked “What is it you want, Mara Jade” my WHOLE BRAIN responded with "I want Hermione Granger! And a rocket ship!"

Moranda has real Kevin from home alone energy and I'm living for it

Is it bad that I’m actually kinda happy the Imperials’ Bothawui shield plan worked? Like, they had a really interesting plan and I’m happy for them. They earned it

WAIT IS MORANDA DEAD FR?

What base is “full mind meld while you’re fighting for your lives”

Who would win: ~1.5 Jedi, 2 sentinel droids droidekas, or Artoo with a sauntering gun

If I had a nickel for every time this duology explicitly established Jedi can’t go completely without oxygen, even when in a trance, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot but which makes me feel like the Ahsoka show had a weirdly specific axe to grind with the source material

Luke’s proposal to Mara is Just. The. Funniest. Thing. That’s some Anakin-level cringe and the prequels aren’t even out yet. He truly is his father’s son.

I mean POV there’s this guy and for a couple years you want to kill him, and then you realize that’s more of a You Problem, so then you’re friendquaitances for a decade mostly because you don’t approve of the shit he’s getting into, and then you have one (1) honest conversation and get caught in a death trap and he’s like “so I think the next step for us is marriage”

LEIAAAAAA! Full Jedi Knight Leia is both terrifying and hot. I would run.

“So it is treason” – Some random guy

Lando needs to be on the New Republic payroll simply for being willing to speak to any of the other characters and also he needs a raise. This poor guy getting called on to command the entire New Republic fleet mid-battle and he’s like “I’ve been a civilian for 15 years and also I knew you would pull some horse piss like this steve”

Mara Jade, Imperial protege. Skills include: Identifying load-bearing walls. (Now all I want is Property Brothers: Sith Edition)

Mara please. Luke please. These absolute idiots. This is some pear scene shit. I hope nothing bad happens to them ever

The whole back half of this book has been an emotional rollercoaster for me specifically because I wanted Flim to be Thrawn FR soooooo baddddd. And now I’m sad. His name literally means scam don’t do this to me Zahn

I’ve been amused by all the Star Wars universe idioms but I gotta take a moment to specifically showcase “burned your sky-arches.” Karrde is a delight to have in class

Having an independent intelligence agency that’s supposed to work for both the New Republic and the Empire seems absolutely unhinged but go off I guess

When the New Republic and Empire sign peace accords and Luke can’t even be bothered to show up

Mara is great and her arc is fuckin hilarious to me. The narrative has identified her as The Damaged One and I’m like???? She came to terms with her troubled past, drew her own boundaries regarding the Dark Side, recognized that there are people who care about her instead of pre-emptively pushing them away, and resolved to form deeper emotional connections. Smash cut to ROTS Anakin whose physical and psychic damage has literally turned his brain into oatmeal

Again I know this was before the prequels Mad points for explicitly saying Mara needed to form attachments to become a Jedi. Zahn being pretty gangsta there

OH NO THEMB

#long post #hand of thrawn #vision of the future #star wars legends #mara jade #ghent #timothy zahn #ahsoka tano #because ahsoka just sneaks into all my mental processes sorry

[munsonsduchess]

Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Fire

summary: on a girls night out you meet someone unexpected w/c: 1,708 warnings: mentions of cheating, alcohol consumption (drink responsibily), p in v sex, oral (f receiving), mentions of the word pussy and cock, taking a stranger home a/n: so the bar mentioned here does actually exist, it's called Ballie Ballersons and they have locations in london and edinburgh and it's a lot of fun on a night out. we're also suspending disbelief and saying that there is no cost of living crisis and it's entirely capable for two people to rent a nice flat in central london and be able to y'know eat and go on nights out and stuff

(moodboard by me)

It hadn’t been your idea to go out tonight. You’d planned for a nice quiet evening on the sofa, the whole flat to yourself since Emma had gone to the fringe following some lad she’d met in a bar who she’d become besotted by. 

You’d settled in and had been browsing for somewhere to order dinner from when the group chat light up and sent out the bat signal. Lucy’s awful boyfriend, who you’d never liked anyway, had dumped her over Snapchat as it turns out he’d been seeing someone else on the side the entire time. So you’d abandoned the sofa, got dressed according to what everyone else was wearing and jumped on a train. 

Which is how you found yourself in a ballpit in a bar in Shoreditch. You’d all had neon face painting done when you arrived, matching of course, and someone had booked a VIP table which you were immensely grateful for, your shoes were cute, not practical and standing all night was not on your agenda. It wasn’t on anyone’s agenda really, especially since Denise had already pre booked an Uber home for everyone announcing to the group chat via voice message that the mission for tonight was to get as legless as possible as quickly as possible. 

Some of the girls had all congregated together before coming out and done pres but you’d insisted on eating something first. There was no way you’d survive the night without lining your stomach first. The days of being able to go out drinking all day and all night and still show up for an 8:00am class were very much behind you now.   

»»————-　♡　————-««

As the DJ blasted out “Dancing Queen” you’d all ended up downing your drinks for a group selfie and dancing in the larger mirrored ball pit. It was turning into one of those nights where you hadn’t planned on being out but you knew it was a great decision to answer the call. 

You were looking around for your group, trying to find someone and let them know you needed the loo when your cute, practical shoe stood on a rogue ball and you ended up laying flat on your back amongst the rest. It didn’t hurt and you were just laughing to yourself, of course you’d be the one who ended up falling over. 

As you tried to right yourself you couldn’t quite get your footing, little bit tricky when you were tipsy in a ball pit. That’s when you saw a man’s hand being offered to you, you grabbed hood gratefully and felt yourself being pulled up. Once upright you came face to face with a boy your own age with unruly curly hair and honestly the brownest eyes you’d ever seen,

“Y’alright?” he asked smiling, “I saw you go down, figured you could use a hand”

“I’m good thanks, couldn’t quite get my footing under there” you laughed, he was cute so you figured there was no harm in flirting a little. Although you couldn’t quite place his accent, you’d ask about it later maybe if you remembered,

“It’s a bit tricky” he smiled back, “are you out by yourself?” 

“There’s a group of us, somewhere” you scanned the ball pit and saw Jess at the far end chatting to one of the bouncers, “bit of a crisis in the group chat this evening so we all headed out” you we’re about to say something else when the boy spoke again,

“Can I buy you a drink?”

“Please”

“I’m not usually this forward, I just thought you were stunning and my mate kept telling me I should talk to you and stop being a wimp”

“Well then I guess it’s my lucky night” 

You both introduced yourself, the boy’s name being Tom from Cornwall who was up in London staying with some friends for a while.

You left the ballpit, gesturing to Jess on the way out that you were with Tom so if anything went pear shaped at least you knew someone would be able to come and save you. Or if things went well that someone knew you were gone and who you were gone with. 

»»————-　♡　————-««

With the rest of the girls on the dance floor or in the ball ours the booth you’d booked was free for you and Tom to sit and chat and get to know one another. You talked about the usual things, where you lived, where you worked, where you went to school. Then previous relationships came up and you noticed Tom seemed to not be as comfortable,

“I’ve not really seen anyone in the last few years. It’s all been causal y’know” he said, “just feeling my way” 

“Did something happen to you then?” you couldn’t help but ask, Tom seemed like a nice enough guy so you couldn’t imagine why it would be hard for him to find someone who wanted to be serious 

“Yeah. Things ended with the girl I’d been with for three years, I loved her but she didn’t love me back” he said with a sad smile,

“That’s awful. Well, her loss is my gain” you grinned moving closer to  him, “I mean, if you’re ok with running through London with a stranger” 

“Shouldn’t that be my line?” Tom laughed, his hand on your arm now

“You don’t seem so strange to me” by this point you were practically sitting in his lap, Tom didn’t seem to mind and closed the space between you kissing you gently, “let me find someone and tell them I’m not getting in the Uber home” 

“Sure. I’ll let my mates know the same thing” 

You found Amy first by the bar and let her know you were heading out. She laughed and demanded you put all the details in the group chat the next morning. She also made sure you were planning on keeping your location on. Just in case. 

—

You couldn’t remember the last time you’d been with someone where it felt this fun, like you weren’t worried about faking it to make it end quicker, telling the person you finished when you didn’t just so they’d leave. 

Being with Tom felt like a whole new experience. He took his time to learn the curves of your body. Kissing his way across your chest, along your stomach, he spent what felt like an hour between your thighs, his tongue, his mouth, felt like heaven. It really seemed like he was the type of man who got off on getting his partner off. 

Tom’s hands grabbed your hips as he practically ground your pussy into his face, his nose rubbing against your clit as he ate like a man sentenced to die would eat his last meal. 

You knew he was bound to be hard, you’d felt it pressing against you while you’d gotten the tube home but he made no effort to relieve himself in any way. By the third time you’d cum from his mouth and fingers alone you wondered if he wasn’t in pain from denying himself relief all this time. 

If you’d thought Tom’s skill began and ended with oral you’d have been sorely mistaken. After grabbing a condom from your bathroom he returned, oftentimes a man can look ridiculous standing bare with just a condom on but Tom didn’t seem to worry too much about how he looked. 

When he sank into you it felt just as good if not better than when he was going down on you. A lot of men put stock in how big they are, exaggerating on their size and prowess but again all Tom seemed to be focused on was making you feel good. 

The tip of his cock brushed against your g spot with every thrust. He laid kisses on every inch of you he could reach, it was almost like making love instead of just fucking. You could tell Tom was the sort of person who wanted to experience all kinds of intimacy and it was obvious in the way he paid attention to your needs, constantly asking if you were ok, if something felt good. 

It was honestly one of the best experiences you’d ever had. Tom also made sure that you’d cum multiple times again before he finished inside the condom. It was something you’d never experienced with a partner, only by yourself. 

Him coming back with a warm washcloth after he’d stripped the condom off in the bathroom was new as well. Honestly you couldn’t believe a boy like this was real. 

»»————-　♡　————-««

You woke the next morning and expected to feel someone else in the bed next to you but instead heard someone rustling about in the living room. 

After throwing something on so you wouldn’t flash the neighbours you saw Tom looking around your living room for something,

“Lost something?” You asked, leaning against the doorway,

“Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you. I can’t find my train ticket, I was gonna wake you when I found it” Tom said, looking sheepish 

“Oh. I mean. Yeah sure, but you know Uber eats delivers and I would murder an Egg and Bacon McMuffin. Unless you don’t want Maccas? We can go into town if you like” one the one hand you weren’t sure Tom would want to stay with you, he has told you last night he’d only been doing casual since his last relationship but last night felt … different so you kind of hoped he would. 

“Into town?” Tom asked, confused. 

“For breakfast” you smiled hopefully, you kind of hoped he was going to stay after all. 

“Actually, I’d murder a bacon and egg muffin myself” he returned you smile you honestly felt your stomach flutter at the prospect,

“That’s what I hoped you’d say”

It left you both with around thirty minutes to kill while the driver picked up your food and brought it around. When the knock on the door did come you both had to do your best not to laugh while the driver handed the food off to Tom and pointedly looked everywhere but at the very shiny lower half of Tom’s face. 

All in all a very successful night out but an even more successful morning after. 

Gonna tag the Eddie girlies incase anyone is interested:

Taglist: @pillow-titties @munsonology @thegirlblogstuff @boomhauer @prettyboyeddiemunson @hellfireeddie6 @that-lame-ghoul9000 @flashyourgreeneyesatme @anxiousstark @ruinedbythehobbit @winnifredburkleismyhero @manda-panda-monium @insertcoolnameherethanks @aftermidnightwriting @mcbeanzontoast @tiannamortis

#tom grant #tom grant x reader #tom grant smut #tom make up #tom x reader #tom smut #make up movie #make up 2019 #make up x reader #make up smut #duchess writes #duchess.txt

[koraesrambles]

Reasons I'm enjoying gotham war: a thought exercise.

I wanted to do a deeper analysis but am sitting in a restaurant waiting for my family to get here so might as well dive into it and I can do a more scholarly deep dive later.

I want to talk about Gotham Wars, why I'm liking it, what I think about it, and what I think they're doing well. I'm new to comics (tell me, at what point does your brain start to explode when you try to read the entire DC batfam canon in 2 months. Asking for a friend) but I'm not new to storytelling, so here we go!

K, so im a huge angst fan. It's a disease, not everyone is here for the angst but I most certainly am. The batfamily is so incredibly messed up, which is just right up my alley. I love WFA but let's be real, if they're not crying I'm not as invested. So this run where they are absolutely beating the shit out of my favorite character (Jason Todd)? Mwah. Beautiful. 10/10 will read 100 times.

I read stories for the connections between the characters, not so much the plot. Which is a personal preference thing. So the obvious plot holes and issues with the various characters points of view just don't really bother me. I can suspend my disbelief to think that heroes are running around in spandex beating people up, I can suspend it to think catwoman training an army of thieves to eat (I mean steal from) the rich is a viable idea. I don't care about the logistics, I care about how those things effect the characters.

And MAN do they effect the characters. Honestly I've loved Selina throughout this run. She could get a post all on her own. I love that she's refused to slander Bruce, I love how protective she is over her kids (step kids? Exs kids?) And I love every single interaction she's had with Jason. Honestly the moment that hit me hardest with her was when she's looking for Jason and thinks that if she loses him Bruce will never forgive her.

Obviously, Jason is a worthwhile human that has value outside of Bruce, but I think it really gives us a glimpse into Selina's mind right now. She loves Jason, she's grateful for his support and cares for him, but at the end of the day, he's the love of her life's baby boy, and it is that identifier that will pop up during times of stress.

I LOVE everything about Jason's involvement with this. I like that the tie ins are showing how he disagrees and the main storyline has him already convinced. I love that it explores both sides of his character, I love how it shows how important he is. And he is SO. IMPORTANT.

Bruce has obviously lost his ever loving mind (rip) and vacillates wildly between thinking his children were a mistake and wanting to protect them from everything. Up to this point, though plenty of the bat kids are sympathetic toward Selina, they aren't actively helping her, except of course for our boy Jason Todd.

Jason is actively working against Bruce (shocking right?) And I LOVE that Jason even tells Bruce that it's not just to spite him (though I'm sure that's a plus) it's because he believes in what Selina is doing. And Bruce cannot handle it.

Like I said before, Jason is Bruce's baby boy. The one he can't lose again. The one he needs to protect. But also he has to stop him from murdering people. And above ALL ELSE he cannot stand to see Jason in cahoots with someone else. Bruce doesn't share well under normal circumstances, let alone when he has totally lost his mind.

This vacillation has a lot of people irritated because they think that Bruce is being written inconsistently. I disagree, I think my man has lost his ever loving mind and he wants to both protect his children and STOP them. Him telling Jason he loves him not once, but TWICE within the span of a few panels while simultaneously ruining his life and leaving him completely defenseless is just... dude. My man. My psycho baby. Stop that.

Jason has always been fiercely independent and now that independence has been stripped from him. He literally can't protect himself. He's going to need to rely on other people to help him and heaven knows he doesn't have a good track record of people helping him out when he needs them.

Luckily, Dick knows about the drugging now and is super pissed off (GOOD!) Cannot wait to see where that goes next.

So tldr: why am I enjoying gotham wars? Mostly because so far everyone is obsessed with Jason Todd, which is highly relatable. Also because these relationships are being torn to shreds and looked at from a very interesting lens. Bruce is gone gone gone. Cannot wait to see his horror when he realizes what he's done.

#dc #batman #batman 138 #batman 138 spoilers #batfam #angst #comics #jason todd #red hood #bruce wayne #dick grayson #and co #gotham wars #gotham war spoilers #everyone is hurting my fav and that is my favorite thing

[hersterical]

soul lore in Buffy is finally beginning to make sense in my head (give me a break, I didn’t watch the show until COVID and didn’t start taking part in the fandom until at least a year after that). A lot of this is basic stuff the fandom’s been saying for years, this is just to help get my thoughts in order before I fall asleep and lose the train of thought.

There are a few important elements but I think the two biggest ways the lack of a soul influences a vampire is 1. No moral compass and 2. No empathy (as we see mostly with Spike but a few others as well, they can have sympathy but no empathy). I also don’t get the impression that soulless vampires are capable of true, selfless love. Again looking at Spike, whenever he loves someone pre-soul it always felt possessive or like he wanted to be possessed by someone. Sure, he sincerely wanted certain people he cared about to be happy, but he didn’t want them to be happy just for the simple sake of them being happy. At best he wanted them to be happy because being around them makes him happy and it’s his happiness that truly mattered to him. So if there ever came a time where the happiness of the person he cared about didn’t make him happy anymore, then he wouldn’t care about their happiness. This is mostly based on Spike because he’s the vampire we have the most opportunity to understand while he doesn’t have a soul. To me it seems that all soulless vampires could be placed on a scale from Spike, who possesses the most amount of sympathy and derives the greatest amount of happiness from the happiness of others, to Angellus who doesn’t have a single ounce of sympathy and actively takes joy out of the misery of others. Most seem to tend closer towards Angellus’ end of the scale and I wanted to explore that a bit.

Before I do that though there are some important things of a more physiological nature that would influence vampires both with and without a soul. The first is that I’ve always gotten the impression that a vampire’s primal, predator instincts are more heightened and animalistic than humans. The way I see it there are two main explanations for this: 1. Those instincts come from the demon that possesses the body or 2. Something about becoming a vampire allows them to access the human’s dormant predatory instincts. I’m no evolutionary scientist so I can’t say how likely that second one is, but no matter what it’d be far from the hardest thing this show asks the viewers to suspend their disbelief for. The other thing about vampire physiology has just little enough evidence to support it that I would probably have to classify it as a headcanon. I am convinced that human blood is an addictive substance to vampires based on how secretly being fed Connor’s blood influenced Angel.

With all that said, I’d like to take this opportunity to explore the after-life span of an average Joe vampire.

Imagine you wake up and it is dark, cold and suffocating. But none of that bothers you because more than anything you are hungry. No living being has her possessed this great hunger that you are experiencing right now. Not even being capable of conscious thought at this point, you start clawing. Eventually you dig your way up to the surface where you either have your sire waiting for you, holding in their arms the greatest smelling meal you’ve ever smelt in your whole life, a human, or no one and you need to find something to eat yourself. Even if you find a small animal to eat that’s not enough to satiate your all consuming hunger. No matter what you’re going to get your first taste of human blood as a vampire that night. And it is the greatest thing you have ever tasted. Sure, you had to kill someone to get it, but you don’t care. As you finished eating and stared at the corpse of a human being whose heart is no longer beating because of you, the closest you get to regret, shame, or guilt is the surprise that you don’t feel any of those things.

That was the best thing you’ve ever experienced but you still don’t have a particular desire to kill people. You might even avoid it for a bit in order to avoid attention or out of habit. But even if you actively don’t want to kill another human for whatever reason, you can’t get the taste of their blood off your tongue. The thought of human blood consumes you every waking moment of your life, which is quite a bit considering you don’t need to sleep anymore. But whether it be in a day or a week or a year, you will kill another human. This time you do care. Not that they’re dead, no. But in that moment as you took their life force and made it your own, you have never felt more powerful or in control (ironic considering vampires actually tend to lose control while drinking human blood). Even with all of this great supernatural power you’ve been gifted with, nothing is as powerful as taking a human life. And the blood itself. It feels almost like your rapidly fading memories of warm sunlight on your skin, gentle instead of burning. You’ve never been particularly power hungry before so even though that part might be cool, it doesn’t hold a candle to the sensation of drinking blood. Whatever hesitation you might have had towards killing humans is now gone. But that still doesn’t necessarily mean that you want to though.

You go and visit your loved ones from when you were alive, but when you get there all you can think is how weak you were. How dull the life of a mortal is. How nice the warmth of the sun was on your skin. How it felt to be loved. How it felt to be willing to give your own life and happiness for the sake of someone else’s. It fills you with rage, disgust, and even jealousy for your old self. You take your power back and get rid of any reminders of who you used to be.

Time goes on. Decades pass. You feed, you travel, and you learn. And you grow bored. What was once an exciting after life is nothing but pure drudgery. Even the taste of human blood is becoming common after so long of living off nothing but that. What hasn’t gotten old is the chase. The hunt. That power you once got a taste of but didn’t particularly care for at the time is the only thing that can make you feel anything. Humans are no longer tasty little juice boxes, they’re your play things. The adrenaline from the hunt turns your hunger for blood, into a hunger for power over people.

Eventually the chase grows stale. It’s just too easy. You try to spice it up by toying with humans. Making them scream or beg. But it’s still not enough. That’s when you hear about it. A hellmouth. A slayer. Both together in the same place. One of the greatest sources of power for a demon alongside with the greatest challenge any vampire could hope to face. It’s more powerful than any siren call, how could you possibly resist. Sunnydale is waiting for you.

You get there and between the influence of the hellmouth and the group think of a ridiculous amount of vampires and other demons, it feels as exhilarating as the dance floor of a crowded nightclub. Which is funny because the local nightclub is where you do most of your feeding.

You lead your latest victim out into the back alley, and start feeding. You are once again growing bored even on a hellmouth with the prospect of facing a slayer. It’s just too easy. These are your thoughts when you hear someone clear their throat. This surprises you enough to pull you away from your meal to see a small, blonde girl who’s dressed for a night of dancing. Dessert. Except something’s off. She tilts her head and outs on a mock pout as she asks if she could just get one night off. You don’t like her attitude, her face looking far too smug for your taste, and her blood is singing out to you like no blood has ever done before. You feel almost as hungry as the night you crawled out of your grave. Tossing aside the barely alive human you were just feeding on, you eagerly lunge at the small woman.

She punches you in the face. Hard. You fall to the ground and scramble back up as quickly as possible as you’re filled with a sudden certainty. “Slayer!” You snarl with equal parts shock, anticipation, and fear.

“Is that part of the vampire handbook or something? You guys really gotta get some new material.” She says in response.

How dare she? The insolence! You’ve drained the life out of hundreds of humans before her. You are immortal. Invincible. And she just dismisses you like you’re nothing? She will learn. You are the night, you are fueled by the life-force you’ve been draining out of humans for decades. You’ve seen things this little girl couldn’t think up in her worst nightmares. You have purged yourself of all weaknesses and now you will obtain the greatest power any vampire could ever hope to possess, the blood of a slayer.

You run for her, your claws reaching for her.

You are immediately impaled. As you crumble to dust you hear the last words you’ll ever hear: a half-hearted quip about you not being the dance partner she was hoping for tonight.

#long post #it went from being meta to being a fanfic partway through #btvs #buffy the vampire slayer #Soul lore #angel btvs #spike btvs #angel the series #ats

[theromaboo]

Opinion on Domina season 2?

Wow thank you SO much for the ask.

I watched Domina season 2 during August so forgive me if my memory isn't perfect. Spoilers!

I feel like this season is much more funny but also much more heartbreaking than the first season. However, I feel like the first season was much more tense than this season. So basically when I was watching the first season I was constantly gritting my teeth and pulling at my hair and when I was watching the second season I was constantly alternating between laughing and crying. Which isn't a bad thing, but I think the majority of the tension in this season was me wondering how they would break my heart again, not from the plot.

Well I guess I should just jump right in.

Some Random Thoughts I Had:

In this season, two of the three characters I was watching this show for died. Luckily the third character isn't due to die for another fifty years or so! I don't have to worry about him dying. I only have to worry about him as a person.

Wouldn't it be crazy rad if Domina just kept continuing, past Livia's life, into the later Julio-Claudian dynasty? And we get to see Agrippina and Nero and Britannicus and Claudius? Ah, that would just be amazing! But it would kind of go against Domina, which is supposed to be a show about Livia's life. At least Livia still has a lot of life to live! I don't know if there's a third season coming. I hope so.

Tiberius got a new actor! But Drusus didn't. Livia actually mentioned this and it was so funny but so weird. She was like "Oh, Tiberius, you changed a lot! But Drusus hardly changed at all!" which feels so uncomfortable to me because Tiberius got a new actor but Drusus didn't and all the viewers know that but we're supposed to pretend like we don't to suspend our disbelief but when the characters themselves mention it ahhh!

On that note, Drusus, his age, and how that's all depicted in Domina is a super weird topic that I just don't have the time to talk about here.

I love Tiberius' new actor so so so much and he feels like Tiberius, but I also miss the old actor! Ah, that's what rewatching the first season is for!

Antigone is gone. It's implied she died in between the first season and the second but we don't get much information about that so it feels like she just vanished into thin air. I miss her ;(

There is so much Tiberius Pillow symbology in this season. They are rubbing it in your face.

Okay now that I'm done with that brain dump, let's review it with more structured topics!

Acting:

Amazing as always. I actually think the acting here was better than in the last season. Honestly the way these people play with their facial expressions like that... oh my gosh it's so good. Domina has phenomenal acting.

However, there are two little moments when I cringed, but they are 100% not the actors' faults. One of them I already mentioned, when Livia mentioned that Tiberius changed a lot and Drusus didn't. That was really funny but just so weird.

And then when a character mentioned that wearing trousers was weird and not fashionable. It's just that all the actors are so British, a line like that is impossible to pull off and sound right. They're all just too British!

But honestly the acting was so so good in this season!

Overall Beauty:

Domina is continuing to be absolutely beautiful. Every screenshot is a work of art. Domina is easily one of the prettiest shows out there.

Plot:

I think it was good. There were some parts that just felt very very random but overall I think the plot was very entertaining and heartbreaking and not historically inaccurate in the way that I'd dislike it, but historically inaccurate in the way good historical fiction is.

Humor:

Amazing as always. This show is so funny. Quickly alternating between two different things is quite a common theme in this season, so they use a lot of heartbreak but also a lot of humor.

Characters:

My favourite character always is and always was Tiberius, even though I don't really think he was created as a character for people to like. Tiberius... he's very very complicated in this show and I don't think I have the brain power to talk about it. But I've liked him ever since we first met him as a teenager in the first season because he's autistic-coded and I was like "Omg he's just like me fr." And then of course I had to like him for the rest of the show. But just because I like him as a character does not mean I like him as a person or condone anything he does.

Dang I wanted to say something more solid in this section but I just can't think of anything.

Anyway, when it comes to the characters as a whole, I think that generally they were all done very well. Vipsania was kind of done dirty, but other than that, I'd say everyone has a strong personality and I never found an issue with the characterization.

Things I Liked:

Honestly, everything I mentioned up there. Acting, humor, prettiness, sadness. I like 99% of this show.

That part when Augustus was getting kinky with Gemina while Agrippa was telling the senate about being more loyal and moral and that sort of stuff. Ohhh that was so clever.

When Tiberius was remembering the dream he had about his father and repeating all the words his father said and it was like Tiberius was becoming him. Ahhhhhh.

This hilarious part after Tiberius and Julia's wedding:

Antonina: Drusus. Did you give Vistilius permission to fornicate in our bedroom?

Drusus: Yes!

Antonina: 🤨

Drusus: No?

Antonina: 😬

Drusus: Possibly. Who can remember?

Antonina: 😟

Oh my god the way Drusus was just cycling through every response!

Antonina and Drusus stole the show they were amazing.

Things I Did Not Like:

They're trying to show Tiberius' mental health issues but I am not 100% agreeing with how they do it. But I don't really know how it could be better. And I'm just not very knowledgeable in this subject so maybe their depiction is actually really good. I don't know. It's just that I think it could be better in some way.

I wanted more Vipsania. And they were so mean in their portrayal of her.

When Agrippa died 😭😭😭😭😭 and Octavian was all sad about it 😭😭😭😭😭 but then Octavian and Livia were suddenly having sex and Livia was saying "Oh, it's okay, you don't need him anymore." 😟😟😟😟😟😟😟 Oh my god, what? I was literally crying but then that scene made my tears go back up to where they came from.

During Tiberius and Julia's wedding, what was simultaneously happening to Livia just felt so random and disconnected to everything else that was happening. Which is a shame because Tiberius and Julia's wedding was honestly my favourite part of the whole show. I remember that it kept jumping back and forth between the wedding and Livia. Watching it kind of felt like "Omg omg I feel so bad for Tiberius and Julia—who are those people in the masks chasing Livia?? Oh dang Drusus you're going to gamble everything away—why is Livia jumping off a cliff??" I know that part with Livia probably had a purpose in the show, but I actually forgot what it was.

In Conclusion:

The second season of Domina was funny, heartbreaking, pretty, and I loved it. It made some decisions I did not like, but it also made a whole lot of decisions I loved. Overall, I absolutely love this show. This is actually my favourite TV show of all time.

But the big question is, which season is better?

I don't know! They both have their strengths and weaknesses.

The first season has Antigone and Marcellus and just a lot of the "children" of the imperial family when they were teenagers, you know, Julia, Tiberius, Drusus, Marcellus, Iullus. And I like that a lot. In the second season, they're older, which is perfectly fine but I like teenager drama, you know?

The first season had two awkward episodes in the beginning where they had to pretty much explain all the context and characters, but they honestly weren't bad episodes. They were just really different compared to most of the show. However, because a lot of actors got changed in between the second episode and the third, it was quite confusing for a while. The very second I'm finally able to recognize most of the characters, bam, they all look different. Which is bad because I'm quite face blind!

Anyway, the first season really had me on the edge of my seat, especially for the last four episodes. But I think I felt even more suspense watching the second season wondering how they were going to break my heart again.

I think the second season was funnier but humor does not necessarily make or break a show, unless it's a comedy. And just because the second season was funnier doesn't mean the first season doesn't have its own fair share of hilarious moments, and it does!

Both seasons are very very beautiful and have great acting. The choice of actors is honestly phenomenal for both seasons.

Honestly, I don't know which season is better! In my opinion, Domina managed to do the rare thing in which the second season manages to live up to the first. But not everyone might agree with me. If you have anything to add, please do!

#domina sky #domina mgm+ #asks #ancient rome #historical fiction #historical show #tv shows #tv show review #show review

[babybluebex]

is it weird that one of the hottest parts of the video of Joe meeting Metallica to me is that it looks like they gave him in-ear monitors when he was playing and it makes him look an actual proper musician and made me 🥵🥵 at the idea of actual rockstar musician joe

ugh rockstar joe is so special (yes this is a headcanon list deal with it) ((also let's suspend disbelief and say that he's in metallica bc YEAH THAT'S HOT))

rockstar!joe is one of those rockstars that doesn't look the part

like he doesn't have tattoos or piercings, he just looks like Some Guy

like if you passed him on the street, you'd never know that his band headlined lollapalooza lmao

"sorry to this man but idk who he is" type energy

he's one of the guitarists ofc

he's always noodling away on his guitar

if he has it in his hands, he's playing something, even if he's just playing random chords

holds his pick between his lips when he needs to do something with both hands

at home, he's always got jazz music playing

he's not an elitist at all, but he's definitely studied the history of rock and roll and where the roots of his music style come from, and he appreciates jazz music

always has it playing in the house and he'll like sing the guitar part he would put it

he does that a lot

listening to a song on the radio and he goes "i'd put in a guitar line here, it would go like this" and sings it

now's a good time to say that he's a good singer

he's a little anxious about it, though, so he doesn't sing at concerts, stays pretty away from the mic

he only sings with you, when you're in the car or at home

he'll put on good music and dance with you and sing with you

he writes songs about you but he doesn't show them to anyone bc he doesn't think they'll work as like heavy metal/metallica songs

at home, he has a special room that has all of his guitars and amps and everything, and he spends a lot of time there working

sometimes he'll spend all day in his special little studio room, only coming out for dinner

"good day?' you ask and he nods "what did you work on?" "oh, you know, just working on some songs"

going to his concerts and they're stadium shows, and he likes having you by his side as much as possible

getting a VIP pass and hanging in the green room with joe and everyone in the band

james hetfield is 100% totally obsessed with you, loves calling you "the missus" even though you and joe aren't married

getting to stand offstage and watch soundcheck and joe keeps flashing silly faces at you

you make heart hands at him and you can see his grin and blush all the way from the wings

during concerts, joe performs pretty much like eddie, stanced up, headbanging his curls around as he focuses on playing

he's always losing picks bc he'll toss them into the crowd after like EVERY song

he gets special things printed on his picks like his initials or whatever and signs a bunch bc he KNOWS he's gonna be tossing them into the crowd

after shows, he is DRAINED and all sweaty and collapses into you all jokingly "hold me, i'm gonna pass out" but he's fine

but after show sex… oh my god

his adrenaline is high and he’s getting you in the hotel bed as quick as possible

he’ll be a little feral when fucking you after a concert, nipping at your neck as he ruts into you

can’t even undress all the way type fuck

but once he’s made sure you’ve cum like 3 times, he’s kissing you all sweet and telling you stories about what happened during the concert

“james was telling jokes over the monitors the entire time, did you see me laughing? i feel like you could see me laughing”

“i fucked up during master of puppets, my fingers just stopped working and i completely forgot it”

“i almost tripped at one point, did you see it?”

he’s just so excited to tell you all about it

golden retriever rockstar

yeah that’s all i’ve got rn

#bex answers #anon ask #bex’s drabbles #joseph quinn rpf #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn #*my writing

[inphront]

in honor of my partner successfully making this whole room smell overwhelmingly of sweet corn, i am going to tell you all a story.

to set the scene, i would like you to imagine a very anxious fifteen year old in a closet made of glass so thin that light rainfall would do it in completely, desperately trying to make it to pride with their friends while maintaining plausible deniability to their parents that they are the biggest dyke who ever walked the earth (no denial would ever have been plausible, but as this is a story, i will request that you suspend your disbelief). this presents many challenges, of course.

one such challenge is that of attire. since this is their first pride, it is of the utmost importance that they wear thematically relevant clothing. they are *not* about to show up to the biggest event of their lesbian career looking like a straight person (this is impossible for them to do, but again, suspension of disbelief). unfortunately, they have no access to a vehicle or any real means of shopping for clothes without asking their parents, which they cannot do without explaining that they were looking to buy pride gear. you see the dilemma? fantastic.

our protagonist’s crafts closet contains a plain white t-shirt from god knows when. it will not be missed. they decide on a design to spray paint on the shirt (a very ugly design that acknowledges their status as a theater kid, but we’ll chalk it up to overzealousness). they would usually undertake this project in the garage, but that wouldn’t give them time to hide everything in case of their parents getting home early. they set up some cardboard in their bedroom and get to work one afternoon when no one else is home.

the spray painting itself is done in plenty of time to shove the end result into the closet to dry (this closet was not made of glass and would be perfectly capable of hiding its contents) and put away the crafts supplies. however— and herein lies the central obstacle our unlikely hero must surmount— spray paint produces a lot of fumes. their room does not have nearly large enough windows for those fumes to dissipate before anyone else’s return home. is this, in and of itself, a disaster to a level-headed person? probably not, but you’ll recall that we’re working with a very anxious fifteen year old here. the smell of spray paint would inevitably lead their parents to ask what they painted, and why in god’s holy name they didn’t paint it in the garage like any sensible person would, which would, in turn, lead to the destruction of their closet once and for all. they could not allow their parents to smell the spray paint. they needed to take action.

in our protagonist’s arsenal is a diffuser, for which they keep several kinds of essential oil. the diffuser by itself would do precious little against the paint fumes, which were really quite overpowering and may have accounted for some of the decision-making at play here. our hero may have done well Not to use spray paint in an enclosed space, but desperate times call for desperate measures, which is why our desperate closeted teen decides to use the oils without the diffuser, knowing their parents could get home any minute.

so that’s how i dumped almost an entire fucking bottle of lemon essential oil on my floor, completely on purpose. you could smell that goddamn citrus all the way down the hallway for the next four days. it smelled like every lemon on the face of the earth had been juiced all over the carpet. it kept me up at night. *i* probably smelled like lemon the next couple days of school. but goddammit, my mom never learned about my spray-painted gay pride shirt. thank you for your time.

#lgbt #story time #i played it off as an accidental spill #which was completely ridiculous and i don’t think that my parents believed me #except that that was still more believable than the idea that ANYONE would’ve done that to their room on purpose

[cemeterything]

hi re: hell followed with us i read it a couple of months ago and came to the same conclusion u seem to be at so far, i liked the writing style a lot in that i thought it was descriptive and beautiful and i LOVED the scenes w the graces however the plot and story itself felt a bit amateur and needed quite a bit of work. sorry for the out of the blue ask i just needed to discuss this w someone else who has also read/is reading the book lmao

no don't apologize, i'm glad you gave me an opportunity to discuss it more! i agree, and i know that it's a YA novel so i definitely wasn't expecting something life changing, but i was very excited by the premise (trans cult survivor who has angelic monster powers escapes his abusers and joins a group of rebels; lots of good body horror and, in the summary's own words "embracing the monster within and unleashing its power against your oppressors") and then the actual novel itself has turned out to be a bit disappointing to me. although it presents a lot of very creative and compelling ideas, concepts, and imagery, the body horror is very well written - definitely one of the book's strengths - and the core themes and messages the author is trying to convey are very clearly communicated, the writing feels a bit like it it's rushing past things and just trying to check off boxes as quickly as possible at times. the story just doesn't grip me; i can't get fully immersed in the world it's showing me because sometimes it just doesn't feel real enough. the best books i've read have always managed to convince me to suspend my disbelief and dive into the universe they're showing me, which this one does sometimes, but not consistently. there are areas in the worldbuilding and relationship developments between characters that need more attention to reach their full potential. it comes across very surface level and repetitive at times (especially the descriptions of gore? there seems to be a lot of repetitive imagery about broken ribs, red and/or black blood and rot, and bodies being turned inside out by transformation and/or violence, and it doesn't feel more impactful or like it's exploring and developing the concepts each time, it just feels overused). i'm glad the story exists and that the author wrote it, i think it's a perfectly solid book and that he has a promising future in a career as an author, and i know it's his debut novel so there's always room for improvement and probably will be. but unfortunately as a lover of monster angels, queer fiction, and stories about what it means to be monstrous and balancing personal satisfaction and empowerment with justice and helping others, who should have been absolutely consumed by this book based on the summaries and reviews of it, it just isn't doing what i hoped it would for me.

#like its a LOT better than a lot of YA novels including some i enjoyed during my teenage YA novel reader phase #and i know its not easy to break out as an author especially of queer literature so im not trying to downplay how hard he must have worked #and how much passion and care went into creating this story. i havent written and published my own novel im just a reader #but i do also think there are several points for improvement

[proxissima]

Ooooh what do you think of afo's backstory? Did you like it or not? Since you like him lots, it would be interesting to hear your opinion. Did you expect anything like this?

Sorry, I didn't mean to reply to this this late; I had half of this typed out last Monday, then the new chapter and life happened.

So... The last few chapters in general have been quite a ride, with very mixed moments and scenes. That tonal whiplash, going from the chapter before that to arguably the most rancid and horrifying backstory in the series so far, was something else.

Ik you didn't ask about my opinion on the chapters before that one, but let it be said that that disbelief was no longer being suspended™. Everything related to Bakugo was just taking me out of the story completely because of how goofy it felt. That being said, I also believe that Horikoshi had written himself into a corner beforehand with Bakugo, because the way his death had been set up, actually keeping him dead would've been a poor choice but his revival now was also... not handled in a way that feels authentic. But all of this is just my opinion.

Anyway, I have to give Horikoshi credit for this chapter about AFO's backstory, because I was genuinely about to check out of the series as a whole, ngl. It was jaw-dropping and it's been a while since a story made me feel as viscerally uncomfortable/disgusted as that past chapter. The circumstances surrounding AFO's birth, that Yoichi and him were actually twins, the comparison between quirks and STI's... Jesus.

There's the obvious parallels of the brothers' story with the myth about Romulus and Remus, which I think is pretty cool.

That chapter was a lot more explicit than what anyone could've seen coming, HK really went all out there. Is it what I'd expected? I mean, I was never really... too concerned about AFO's personal upbringing. I figured he was an entitled, rich asshole by the time he locked Yoichi into the vault, but that's pretty much a given and now basically confirmed. I did like to think he was always like this, raised in a rich family, though I never really committed to that idea, because, ultimately, it doesn't really matter because it all boils down to the same thing.

What heinous crimes he chose to commit later in his life when he needn't to.

AFO's childhood turned out to be utterly horrifying; he lived through deeply traumatising formative years, hunted and scorned by society, before he inevitably turned the tide with his god-like powers and became the scourge of society for his next 100+ years alive, in return.

He's become a supervillain, a mass and serial murderer, and whatever else is in his long list of crimes.

None of it excuses his actions, but the tragic circumstances do leave room to wonder, what if.

He was very much shaped by his mother's death, forcing him to take up the mantle as a caregiver for his twin brother from early infancy, by how he was not just I ignored and failed but actively hunted down by society. This environment led to him seeing himself not as human in the beginning, which turned into a god-complex later in his life.

He's indifferent to the suffering he causes others at best, and really enjoying at worst. He shows no remorse for any of his actions, ever. Look no further than one of the recent past chapters where his face literally split open from the grin he had on it as he was about to kill All Might. Taking 408 into account, as well, he's hunted down and killed each and every individual related to the second OFA user, which makes me wonder what he did with the infants and small children.

((I'd argue that AFO is a narcissistic psychopath and would most likely be diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder (this and malignant/grandiose narcissism are almost indistinguishable from each other). He checks pretty much all the hallmarks for NPD and ASPD:

Saying he's a deceitful person is an understatement. He's a chronic and cunning liar and manipulator. He's been using Shigaraki (whom he'd robbed of his own identity) from early childhood on to sort of fill the role of a substitute for his own brother, but also as a vessel and backup plan, should his body give out, while simultaneously taking revenge on both the seventh and eighth users of OFA.

"Failure to conform to societal norms and laws". ...Lol.

He quite literally started a cult around his persona (#408).

A remarkable lack of empathy. He hardly ever displays real emotions, not even anger in most situations (I'm not sure how much the final battle can be accounted for here, since he was influenced by Shigaraki's hatred, which is what causef give in to his own hatred of All Might to chase after him)...))

#bnha #all for one #thoughts #bnha manga spoilers #bnha 407 #bnha 408 #character analysis #a tiniest bit #inbox

[purenguyening]

For the Ace Attorney ask: 3, 4 and 10

[Ace Attorney Asks]

3: Favorite case?

Farewell, My Turnabout. The themes always get me, and I think it's rather fitting design wise. The case is centered two actors and I think it works well to convey this idea that everyone has "a role to play". The sections where the background fade to black and the characters speak directly to the player remind me of plays that have monologue sections that have a similar effect as a way to engage the audience. I think it works incredibly well, since Phoenix was formally a Theaters Arts Major and the case served to solidify his exact role in the judicial system.

It's also really nice for the smaller moments, like Phoenix admitting to himself he relies on Pearl to cry for both of them when they think about the situation Maya's in, and of course the famous "Edgeworth snatched up the bear" moment. I always feel the need to replay it because I always miss this line:

For what it's worth, this case made a big influence in how I read the optional dialogue and think of lines that aren't strictly part of the progression of the story as them ad-libbing, hence some of the really insane ribbing that you see in later games.

I like a lot of cases, but this one just feels really distinct because I do chalk this up as Phoenix's first real loss in court.

4: Least favorite case?

Probably Turnabout Reminiscence (4th case of the first Investigation games). It's mostly due to Edgeworth's developing working dynamic with Gumshoe can come across a little too mean-spirited for my liking. I know in context this is their early meetings so a rocky relationship isn't unusual, but it just kind of felt off in context to the rest of the game.

In terms of frustrating leaps of logic, probably Turnabout Big Top still irritates me, the case and how it works for story telling I can deal with, but suspending my disbelief to buy the idea that once the bust fell the cape Russell Berry was wearing magically float back up and got stuck to the bust as Acro hauls it up? Not as much.

I'm actually willing to forgive Turnabout Serenade since the game warns us (via Phoenix) you'll have to use a lot less conventional means to win this case.

Though, I think it actually wouldn't have taken much to make the case flow smoother by having Apollo point out on the first day of trial that the murder weapon would have had a pretty powerful kickback. So, whoever fired the gun would have had some intense pain since this was heavily emphasized on the first day of investigation. Hell, one of Machi's sprites has him clutching his arm, which could have brought suspicion back to him.

Then, I think there was (probably) some intent to shift the suspicion back to Daryan because of him missing a cue (implied due to him feeling the after effect of the 45 caliber gun on his shoulder), though this was never brought up. But I can see him waving it off as him having an off day and then it'd force Apollo to take Phoenix's advice and approach solving the case from a different angle by unraveling all the mysteries.

10: Best villain and why?

Damon Gant.

He only appears in one case, but there something that gets me as a "what-if" because his intents and sense of justice were in the right place, but he really showed how easily you can "stray off the path" and how it can rapidly spiral before you know it.

Once the truth has been revealed, I always think about his final lines as he laments to the Judge he'll have to cancel their lunch plans. It's just such a powerful moment, how the people running this system aren't some deities, but people.

Also, as a casual horror fan, I always adore how he has such a long and unnerving stare that makes you pause and wonder whether or not your game froze, lmao.

P.S. (boop)

#huppaduppa #thanks for the ask! #asks

[whyrubuyingclothesatthesoupstore]

my friend asked me to write an essay about the midori head spin and then I did

@rock-doodles-shit​ this is all your fault

I am sure you know of this scene, and I am sure you can remember how you reacted when you first got to it in the game. We all know that it’s funny as balls and incredibly memorable, but I feel as though we don’t appreciate it quite as much as we should. So today I will be telling you why Midori spinning his head in the middle of the banquet was a necessary addition to the story, not because I actually think so, but because it would be really funny.

(These are all things that nankidai probably had in mind while writing the scene, it’s just that he most likely didn’t spend an hour and a half writing them out in great detail)

First of all, this scene reveals that Midori isn’t human, and that he gave away parts of his body to a lot of other people, which not only helps the plot move forward but sets up some things that will hopefully be fully explained in 3-2. It’s also necessary for Midori to demonstrate that he’s not human, considering that the others might not have believed him otherwise because of how much he’s messed with them before.

It’s also what fits Midori’s personality most, because it’s probably the most dramatic thing he could have possibly done here. Just disconnecting his head for his body would have also worked, but spinning it better shows how he treats the whole thing as a game and just does whatever he finds the most entertaining, or whatever will get the funniest reactions out of people.

This scene also gives us what I think are the best lines Hiyori has in the whole game - “I gave up my humanity!” and “In this way, the body can also be a majority vote!” I have a post on the second line already, so let’s just stop on the first one. The line gives us a really good look into Hiyori’s worldview (which I wish the game would’ve done more but I digress). To him no longer being human is something worth celebrating, something to casually mention in conversation, something to flaunt by doing stupid tricks with the doll parts of his body. He could have a lot of reasons to think that way - no longer being human means he basically cheated death, it means he can claim he’s incapable of feeling fear since it’s a human emotion, it makes him “stronger” than some emotional fragile human, and mentioning it casually also creeps people out which we all know he is a fan of doing. I want to make a separate post on tumblr dot com about this line so for now this is all that I’m gonna say.

Fourth of all, it’s just really funny okay. Having your main antagonist randomly start spinning his head around during an intense scene to show off his cool cyborg powers is really really funny. I’m pretty sure the participants shouldn’t even be able to see inside the coffins but I am willing to suspend my disbelief because it’s just hilarious and definitely worth the small logical error.

And lastly, everyone’s reactions to Midori spinning his head give us small but needed bits of characterization.

The first to react are Shin and Kanna, they just scream. Sara just says what she’s seeing and Q-Taro goes “Stop! That’s creepy!” which is possibly the funniest response anyone could have to a situation like this, and afterwards says “You’re clearly not human!”, which is either him stating the obvious or talking about humanity as a moral quality because he’s just that baffled that Midori could treat turning himself into a doll this lightly (I sure do wonder why he could have possibly reacted this way). Sara quickly collects herself and tries to focus on moving the discussion forward, Kanna seems too terrified/disturbed to say anything else, and Shin says “What the hell?! What are you thinking...?!”

Not “what is wrong with you”, “what are you thinking.” I feel like he’s trying to understand why Hiyori seems so willing to reveal this, since it supposedly puts him at a disadvantage. And he’s right to be suspicious because Hiyori’s next turn could’ve killed Gin if Sara didn’t remember the consent form. He only revealed he’s a doll because he was convinced he was going to win anyway, and it makes sense Shin would be the one to notice that since he knows Hiyori better than anyone.

The Yabusames don’t react at all in emotion route, either they’re supposed to be frozen in shock or nankidai straight up forgot about them.

(Side note, what do you think Keiji was thinking here while he was listening over the transceiver?)

And these five arguments conclude my weird little essay, thank you for reading please grade my paper well.