#i also love that the show lets women be as goofy and weird and stupid as they want and even if we laugh at them it's all from a good place

[meggannn]

#taskmaster #taskmaster au #to be clear i love all these women i'm just curious #this fandom is small on tumblr so reblogs appreciated to get more opinions #i also love that the show lets women be as goofy and weird and stupid as they want and even if we laugh at them it's all from a good place #i keep thinking about fern saying taskmaster is one of the most autism-friendly gigs she's ever had #polls

[shoot-the-oneshot]

Heart Shaped Glitter

Anon 72  “I didn’t do it.” “Then why are you laughing?” “Cause, whoever did it is a freaking genius.”

Max Verstappen x Ferrari driver Reader

The one where pranking your teammate made two rivals fall in love

You thought getting your first contract into F1 would be the greatest dream but then getting signed to Ferrari with one of your oldest friend Charles was a close second and while you two have got to F1 together and are older now it doesn’t mean you’ve grown up. Proven by your next actions.

You were leaned against the wall of the men’s locker room at the gym you and Charles frequented, tapping your foot and waiting for the inevitable.

“Y/n?” You looked up to see the other Monaco resident driver, “Hey Max.” You nodded then went back to waiting, you and the Red Bull driver had never really spoken no matter how many times he has tried but you were always with Charles or Pierre, who were fiercely protective of you and never let him get close. Taking a look around the hallway not seeing either of your shadows.

“You know the women's showers are down there right?” He pointed leaning against the wall with his shoulder, still confused as to what you were doing, he also noticed you weren’t wearing gym clothes. “I’m pulling a prank on Charles he’s in there.” Nodding your head to the wall behind you which you strategically placed yourself right on the other side of the showers.

Now Max understood, your prank war was known to everyone around the paddock and was even a little series on Ferrari social media for how much the fans loved the relationship you two had. He’s seen the videos but has never seen it in person.

“What did you do?” He whispered leaning in his excitement showing. You held in a smirk, “I paid the manager to let me cover the shower in oil.” His eyebrows rose. And he let out a loud laugh that you shushed so Charles wouldn’t hear.  

“This is going to be good.” He laughed quite now, both of your eyes widened as you heard the shower start running, pressing your ears to the wall. If anyone got a picture of two of the top F1 drivers pressed against the wall with goofy smiles on your faces it would be all over formula one articles. You both heard a loud thump and a very girly shriek that you’re causing yourself for not finding some way to record it. Multiple French explicits followed more crashed as he tried to gain footing and failed, sliding around.

“Y/N!” Charles yelled knowing you were behind it. You immediately took off running leaving Max frozen behind you, “Come on Verstappen!” You yelled over your shoulder making him jump into action his longer legs making up the short distance you gained. Just as you were about to turn the corner you caught sight of a very frazzled Charles clutching a towel as he tried to chase you but kept sliding from leftover oil.

“I’m going to get you back for this!”

Yours and Maxs’ laughter echoed through the gym as you ran through dodging people working out, gaining you both weird looks but neither of you cared.

Max grabbed your hand pulling you along faster out the doors, luckily the doormen saw you both making a dash and held them open. You let go of his hand to run to the drivers side of your Ferrari Max quickly followed sliding into the passenger side.

Barely getting the door closed before you pealed out. Max was still chuckling a few blocks away, he was side-eyeing you noticing how good you actually looked driving, sure he saw it every weekend but this was different less serious the carefree smile with your light laughs escaping through your lips, you sobered up feeling a little self-conscious under the Dutch drivers gaze.

“You know these things are pretty nice.” Max snapped out of it playing it off looking around the rest of the interior, mentally curing himself at the stupid attempt to change the subject. Laughing you nodded along tilting your head. “Careful don’t let the media hear you say that, they’ll think you’re joining the dark side.” Giving him a teasing look.

“You know I’d have to see the back of one before making a decision.” He teased right back enjoying the vibe you both had, it felt easy but exciting at the same time. You barked out a very unladylike laugh that your media handler would hate at his words.

“You know I’m currently beating you in the standings right?” “We’ll see how that changes by the end of the year.” And little did he know he was right, things would be very different by the end of the year

That prank changed things between you and Max, suddenly you were stuck to each other on and off the track. Hands brushing as you passed each other during press day. There are tons of videos of both of you in interviews suddenly smiling out of nowhere, only a trained eye would see the other driver passing behind subtle touches left behind. sneaking off to the others drivers room before a race became a tradition, or you being seen drinking the occasional Redbull, plus the fans loved the pictures of the Ferrari and Redbull superstars running hand in hand out of the gym an angry half-naked Charles in the back, Max even had the picture as his phone background. You both kept your affections a secret for as long as you could but it came out when you both showed up with bright pink hair as Charles somehow dyed your shower water unintentionally outing you.

Pierre and Charles were in latters garage as the Ferrari driver filmed a TikTok for social media day he was supposed to be showing the fans all the parts of their racing gear. well, Charles was, you were once again huddled around the corner with Max, Watching the two men. Just as the Monegasques grabbed his helmet your giggles started, making Max cover your mouth with his hand shushing you gently, pulling your back tighter against his chest.

“What the!” Your teammate screamed quickly pulling his helmet off making the glitter you filled it with cover him entirely, and Pierre who was bent over laughing almost falling off his chair.

“I didn’t do it!” He choked out seeing the mans glare settle on him, knowing sometimes Pierre joined in the prank war. “Then why are you laughing?” Charles growled shaking the glitter out of his hair, well trying to.

“Cause, whoever did is a freaking genius!” The French mans words broke the camels back as you and Max started laughing making the glitter bomb move his glare to the two of you. This time it was Max pulling you along as Charles advanced. “Come on Y/L/N!” Throwing you over his shoulder as he ran. Your laughter making Max have a wider smile than the Paddock has ever seen as you ran from your teammate and oldest friend covered head to toe in silver glitter.

He set you down once you reached the safety of Redbull, your chest raising rapidly that carefree smile he loves so much on your face as he looked down at you caressing your cheek. “He’s going to kill you one of these days.” You leaned up pressing soft kisses to his jawline. “You’ll save me before he does.”

“Y/n come on!” Your trainer yelled, making you groan. You hated running around the track it felt no matter what part of the world you were in the sun beamed off the concrete making it unbearably hot. Trudging through the garage you quickly texted Max hoping he’d give you an excuse to skip but not getting a text back, with a sigh you met your trainer and started walking to the track not noting all the extra people around with cameras.

“I forgot my phone you go ahead I’ll catch up.” They ran back to the paddock before you could say anything, with a shrug you walked through the gate onto the track, not paying attention until you came across two cars parked on the track. It was two matte black cars one was a honda NSX with Your country flag as the stipe down the middle exactly like your 458, and the other was a Ferrari with the Dutch flag. In your confusion, you spun around looking for an explanation gasping as you saw Max behind you, on one knee.  

“I’m ready to join the dark side, but only with you as my wife, Will you marry me?” Holding up the most perfect ring, in his shaky hands showed how nervous he was. Nodding your head tears filling both of your eyes Max’s eyes widened, “Yes?” He asked to be sure at your wordless answer. “Yes Yes Yes!” You shouted. Max stood up wrapping you in his arms spinning you around, pressing kisses all over your face until you pulled his lips to meet yours. Breaking apart he slid the ring on your shaking hand. “I love you future Mrs. Verstappen,” he spoke against your hand he pulled to his lips kissing the ring. “I love you too Mr. Verstappen.” Pressing your foreheads together basking in the moment.

Walking hand and hand back through the paddock getting cheers from the crews you laughed seeing yours and Maxs garage covered in balloons ‘Congratulations to the future Mr and Mrs!’ Scrolled across the huge banner. Christian Horner giving you both hugs, “Never thought I’d be happy to welcome a Ferrari driver into the family.” He joked making Max pull you closer. “Neither did i.” Your fiancé teased making you lightly hit him in the arm.

You pushed yourself out of his grip seeing Charles walking over with a box in his hands opening his arms for a hug, “Ugh can’t believe my best friend is going to be a Verstappen,” he shuddered in horror making you laugh. “Here.” Taking the box he held out you pulled the ribbon off a glitter bomb going off on you and Max.

Charles took off running yelling between his laughter, “It’s heart shaped!”

You looked up to your future husband whose eyes were closed, brushing off said pink hearts out of his hair making him look at you. “Sure you want to marry into this?” Max smiled pressing a kiss to your head and nodding. “For life baby.”

hope you liked it e me know what yall thought 

formula on masterlist

#max verstappen imagine #max verstappen x reader #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 x reader #charles lecrelc imagine #carlos sainz imagine #daniel riccardo imagine #carlos sainz x reader #Charles lecrelc x reader #pierre gasly imagine #pierre gasly x reader #mick schumacher imagine #mick schumacher x reader #lewis hamilton imagine #gorge russell imagine

[benjaminbadger]

I'm sorry gay people in my phone but the new Doctor Who has thoroughly fucking confused me and was kind of a letdown

Thoughts under cut

I thought they were gonna genuinely do something with the story and aliens being extremely generic? Like. The Doctor regenerates back into their 10th form, coincidentally near Donna Noble, coincidentally while a plot's going on that feels like a self parody of Dr Who as a show. Tiny overly cutesy alien, gets found by and connects with teen who hides it from family, getting hunted down by big scary alien army, scenes like the plushie hiding thing that feel pulled straight out of a generic 80s scifi family film??

The Meep being evil was obviously gonna happen but I assumed there would be a second twist to it? Like, maybe they were both an elaborate set up bc some larger entity wanted 10 and Donna together. I thought bc it was the anniversary they were going the meta approach by making a threat that basically encapsulates the exact set up you imagine when you think about the show, mashing all the tropes together into one adventure made especially to encourage Donna and 10 back into the old days. Even the end with an oops silly mistake resulting in them being stuck together in the Tardis.

BUT THEN. THEY PLAYED IT COMPLETELY STRAIGHT?? AND THE EPISODE JUST ENDS?? NOT EVEN ANY CHARACTER ACKNOWLEDGING HOW WEIRD THIS WHOLE SITUATION WAS???? JUST COMPLETELY ACTING NORMAL. EVEN THE DOCTOR

I'm seriously hoping that this is explained later on as a setup for somethig larger, and that in later rewatches it'll be way more satisfying. But rn I'm confused as hell and disappointed, and if the show wasn't so important to my childhood I proly wouldn't wanna watch further. If it is all setup then... I don't want an exclusively setup episode. That's lame. At the very least if you ARE going that direction foreshadow it better

Some minor things I'm nitpicking also

- I know Doctor Who isn't meant to be that serious but come on the intro of David Tennant just greenscreened standing in space explaining the setup was so goofy it made me howl (and I don't think that was intentional)

- I love an important trans character, that's based as hell, but the trying to act relevant and appeal to Gen Z was kind of annoying. Not as in "Grrr my old show is woke 😡" I'm literally one of the wokes. As in "Haha women are so much cooler and smarter than men 😏 Doctor assuming pronouns 😳 Binary Nonbinary 😁😁" "🦡 Wow that's not very funny and a little irritating, it feels like a cistraight guy wrote this". It was a funny episode and some bits of this were funny but certainly not others

- For real tho I'm obsessed w "Binary Nonbinary" that's so fucking stupid

- For all the set up and stakes put on Donna remembering the Doctor, the way it resolved felt like a copout. Passing down and sharing the power was fine but literally just going "Nuh uh" and sending it away?? I really feel like that diminishes how importantly the time lord power was set up just for the sake of Donna being alive for more episodes. If they need her they could've at least let the two deal with it together for a while, before finding a better way to get rid of it down the line

- ^ It also made Donna's death have less impact for the problem to be solved in such an easy way. Her dying was emotional, was well executed, until it wasn't and she was fine and she was back having fun doctor times and woo!! everything to do with her absorbing that power and losing her memory is done and dusted and doesn't need further exploring 😁😁👍👍 I mean come on man..... give us something............

TLDR special was very fun but I expected it to do something interesting and subversive and it ended up playing the parody of itself completely straight. I'm hoping as more stuff comes out the showrunners are proven to be complete masterminds who purposefully made it like that and I'm gonna look like a bumbling idiot

#doctor who #doctor who spoilers #BJB nonsense

[cmkamren]

ionno if ocs interests anyone in this place but I’m gonna just post like once or twice about this character—

this is Mila, ma was an imp and her dad was this 7 ft tall slavic man, Mila is ≈6 ft🧍‍♂️ (her dad saw her mom in her impish form first and boom, fell in love with her on the spot as she transformed into someone more intimidating and pinned him down, threatening his life. Mf was like ‘whoa you’re pretty’ and the rest was history)

Mila is a bit of a morally grey character, def kinda an asshole. Has manipulative tendencies and isn’t against using her transformation abilities to aid herself in getting what she wants (and has done so many times). They’re also a questioning lesbian, most of her partners have been women and she mainly feels attracted to women (booba) but has been attracted to men before too. Either way, they don’t have much of a filter (unless talking to someone they’re trying to get with) and will gladly describe to you in detail about her latest shit

last one is prolly directed to all the mcd guys (except for logan, dale, dante, n pretty much all the taken guys. Mainly, mainly directed towards garroth cause he like gets 0 bitches and won’t (prolly can’t) flirt)

After this, just gonna be lotta general stuff for them. I’ve never been given the opportunity to talk about her yet so ngl some ideas for her are prolly just general ideas and completely not fleshed out yet, just tryna make her make sense a lil n have fun with her :)

Childhood (0-15/16)

their ( parents + Mila) relationship was never abusive. But it wasn’t supportive either, they thought she (a child lolzies) could just fend for herself since the village they lived in on the island believed that they would always be protected by the warrior that fights against the Warlock (Travis’ mother I believe). Growing up, they always knew the place they lived was fuckin’ weird

like, even just her own existence was weird to them. Why were they able to become someone else entirely when dad can’t do it? Can he do it? Or has he just never shown them? And why does mom always have to look like… not herself? Even though she had so many questions, her parents would never answer and just give her the same generic explanation that people were just different. Sure, that was true but like— elaborate pls

Either way, she doesn’t really despise her parents. Kind of forgot about them after she left the island at like 16 as a stowaway. Honestly doesn’t know if her parents cared or not

they provided her with the bare necessities to survive (food, water, shelter, warmth, etc.) and let her deal with the rest. I think that’d also be the reason why she doesn’t want to settle, they don’t know the first thing about raising kids. Def thinks they’re goofy n funny though, shes the type to look at a kid and go ‘i can take candy from them’ and then watch as they cry. Only to stranger’s kids tho, they’ll probably be more sympathetic towards kids of friends

“Present” Mila (period where mcd takes place, after timeskip ig?? I confused my own timeline)

Speaking of friends, her best friend is like this raggedy homeless guy she found in an abandoned farm. He had a green bandana around his neck he refused to take off, and one day while visiting a village she decided to get one for herself so they matched bandanas. It’s like a friendship bracelet thing. Apparently the guy had kids at one point and it belonged to his daughter

Mila always made fun of him for being like 40 years old. Even though they’re just 8 years apart, he’s kinda like a dad to her, trying to be the voice of reason but also kinda on the same wavelength of stupidity as her sometimes (I need to design him gr)

also lived in O’Khasis at one point. With her scraggly friend. She encountered a rookie of the Thieves Guild trying to steal something from… god knows where in O’Khasis and tried to have some fun with it, transforming herself into an O’Khasis guard and forcing the recruit to show them the way to their base. At first, the Boss was fooled but quickly saw through her scheme, her mannerisms were too lax, plus they didn’t even seem to be trying (which Mila was kinda)

after getting found out, she revealed herself and tried to sweet talk her way out. And maybe steal something too (there were a lotta shinies and she loves shiny things okay. All her stuff are stolen goods)

in the midst of it, their first interaction ended off with this:

Boss: can’t believe you have the gaul to still steal something after threatening one of our thieves and trying to make fools out of our guild.

Mila, hoping to try to distract her from beating their ass: you better believe it. I’m afraid I just have that natural charm, people lay their eyes on me for even a brief moment and I’ve already stolen something tender and valuable from them; their heart—

Boss, points at the oblong outline in their pants: unless your genitals look like a handheld mirror, I think you should run.

and she did. Mila ran and ran, back home where their friend immediately scrunched up their face in disgust as she pulled out an object from her pants

Relations with main cast

basically none.

the only interaction she’s had with the main cast is interacting with Travis when they were kids. I’d think they were both pretty lonely, and would find each other to play games with until one day Travis just stopped coming to the village outskirts. Mila wouldn’t recognize him immediately if she saw present him, but with enough time she’d remember. Travis probably wouldn’t remember, he was 6 then and Mila was 10

Though if i did want to make her more involved with the main cast, they’d come in around the time O’Khasis is invaded by T’ula. When they heard the news of ships even bigger than O’Khasis had docked and hadn’t left in like a day, they were already packed and about to leave. Like shit bro, she could smell that trouble from a mile away cause usually traders left after a day, and they didn’t have fucking canons on the ready

I have more ideas but im fucking exhausted

im tired it’s 3 am i can’t type anymore

#kamdoodles #kamdraws #oc #minecraft diaries #mcd #minecraft diaries oc #digital art #kamtalks #a loot of talking #wip #travis valkrum #is mentioned #aphblr #aphmau #mila gusev

[babybluebex]

laszlo kreizler nsfw alphabet

so yeah this... Happened. the zemo version is coming soon, stay tuned! (probably tomorrow morning bc a bitch is tired lmao)

(gif credit to @lindir)

A = Aftercare.

Laszlo is such an aftercare king. He’s checking on you in every way he can think of: asking you if you feel alright, maybe massaging your hips if he had you in a weird position, offering you dinner or wine, maybe even a hot bath, if you’d like (and the bath would have special perfumed oils he had sent from Paris because Laszlo is SUCH a self care whore, he’s got soaps and perfumes out the wazoo).

B = Body Part.

His favorite part of yours are your breasts. No questions, hands down. He likes using your breasts as a pillow at night— just settling himself between your legs and resting his head on your tits is a dream he indulges in frequently. He also really loves seeing you in the new French-style of dresses that have a lower neckline, and, if you wear one of those dresses to dinner without telling him beforehand, he’s as good as gone. He’s staring the whole time and can only manage simple sentences.

C = Cum.

I think Laszlo likes to cum inside you, but he also wouldn’t mind cumming on your tits. If you’re on your knees, sucking him off, he’ll pull himself out of your mouth and almost rip your blouse in his haste to set your tits free before his orgasm rips through him. He only chooses to cum inside you if he can’t cum on your tits (for example, if you’re having slow, kissy sex and he can’t bear to leave your wet heat).

D = Dirty Secret.

Laszlo. Loves. To. Be. Degraded. From a psychological standpoint, he understands that his desire to be brought down and ridiculed is born from some sort of childhood trauma that DEFINITELY involves his father, but he just can’t help himself from getting so ridiculously turned on when you call him a dog for humping your leg while you try to sleep. Bonus points if you use his title while you do it: “Just like a little bitch in heat, aren’t you, Doctor Kreizler? You’re so aroused, you can hardly handle yourself. Are you too dumb to touch your own cock? Do you need me to do it? Oh, Doctor, what a dumb little thing you are.”

E = Experience.

Even Daniel himself has said that Laszlo has like NO experience. Laszlo got ZERO bitches (which I find hard to believe but ok whatever you say, writers of The Alienist), so, the first time y’all have sex, he’s more likely than not losing his virginity (let’s not get into the debate of “virginity is a social construct” because a.) IT IS and b.) Laszlo would lecture for hours about this). HOWEVER, these things come naturally to him. He is just Good In Bed. He figures it out very quickly, so, while you make fun of him for going a little stupid when he’s aroused, he makes up for it by bruising your cervix and apologizing later.

F = Favourite Positions.

Laszlo loves that soft, slow, kissy sex, so he’s into whatever position makes it possible for him to be inside you and to kiss you at the same time. Missionary is a go to, but sometimes he’ll have you sit on his desk and kiss your neck as he hikes your skirts up and fucks you all slow and nice.

G = Goofy.

Hardly ever? Laszlo is pretty serious most of the time, and the only time we ever see him Not Serious in the show is when he’s wasted after John’s bachelor party in season 2. So, maybe y’all went to dinner at Delmonico’s, then a ball for members of high society, and he had a little too much champagne and schnapps. He’s not like giggling and all, but his cheeks are red and he’s smiling more than usual, and calling you sweet names “Oh, mein Kätzchen” and “Meine kleine Prinzessin”. That’s Laszlo’s version of goofy.

H = Hair.

OK, my train of thought here is: LOOK AT THIS MAN’S BEARD. HIS BEARD IS NICE AS SHIT. If he treats his facial hair that good— regular trims, the beard oils we all know he uses, even if it isn't strictly canon— then his downstairs hair is nice too. Definitely soft, if maybe a little wiry sometimes (but tbh whose isn’t), and it’s a nice little cropping at the base of his cock. He also has a thin happy trail up his soft tummy, and a good amount on his chest (as we see in the show lol that much is canon).

I = Intimacy.

Laszlo is ALL ABOUT intimacy. You’ll know he’s in a ~mood~ because you’ll ask what’s being served at Delmonico’s that night, and Laszlo is like “I thought we might stay in tonight. John gave me his grandmother’s recipe for chicken soup”. He’ll light candles and pour you wine and play nice music on his gramophone, and he’ll romance you throughout dinner with little hand touches and sly smiles, until he’s kneeling in front of you and slowly kissing up your leg.

J = Jack-Off.

Honestly, he hardly does it. Of course, I’m sure he did it A LOT before he met you, but now he doesn’t need to pleasure himself anymore. He’s got you to do that. The only exception is if he has to travel for work and you can’t go with him. Even then, he’ll hold off until he absolutely can’t stand it, and then he’ll like read a letter you sent him or look at a sketch that John did of you while he whacks off; sometimes, he’ll just hold your letter to his face, and the faint trace of your perfume is enough to do the job.

K = Kink.

He likes impact play a lot (and perhaps a little roleplay wrapped up in it). On the rare occasion that his fucking is anything but soft and lovely, he’s gonna be hitting your ass and the backs of your thighs as you cling to him while he rails you stupid. Laszlo would try to hit your cheek, but he feels too bad when you wince at the pain of it. Spanking your tits is good to him too. His favorite though (and here’s where the roleplay comes in), is caning your ass. He’ll bend you over the desk in his home office and pull your skirts up past your hips, and he’ll make you count the amount of times his thick wooden cane connects with your soft asscheeks. The roleplay is, more often than not, you were his assistant who did something wrong and needed to be punished. If you miss one or forget to thank him accordingly “Thank you, sir”, he’ll focus the next hit on your thighs.

L = Location.

Either the bed or his desk. Laszlo is a little older (I don’t think we ever get an explicit age? But if we say he’s the same age as Daniel, then he’s 40 to 42-ish) so he can’t do it against a wall or anywhere too crazy (not to mention his right arm can hardly support much weight, so if he needs to hold you up, it’s probably not gonna happen). The bed is a special time for you two because of his arm; he’ll hold himself up with his left arm and rest his hand on your hip or wherever to give himself at least a little leverage. But the desk is usually easier because you can sit, or you can bend over and he can grab your hip.

M = Motivation.

He loves you and wants to worship you. It’s truly as simple as that. He loves you and thinks that you’re the most beautiful creature he’s ever seen, and he wants to show his reverence for you by making love to you.

N = No.

He can’t get into the role of “daddy”, nor can he call you “mommy”. Childhood trauma aside, he will be goddamned if Sigmund fucking Freud is correct about his bullshit Oedipus complex or whatever, so he just eliminates that whole thing entirely.

O = Oral.

He’s very good at it. He’s just… His lips are soft and his beard is good, and he’s not afraid to get a little messy with it. He’ll eat you out until he absolutely has to come up for air, and he’ll have a little bit of your wetness clinging to his mustache, but then he’s right back in it. His medical degree is also put to good use here because he remembers his female anatomy and he’s locked onto your clit the entire time. The first time you ever squirted, it was because Laszlo was nipping at your clit and sucking your wet little hole and pressing his thick fingers into you, and it was A Lot To Process, but you squirted and Laszlo came in his pants instantly because he’s like “I didn’t think women could actually do that… I thought that was a thing that penny novels made up”

P = Pace.

Again, he’s a little older, so he doesn’t fuck like some wild boy. He takes his time with you, touching you and caressing you and kissing you, and his pace is the same way. He’s slow and gentle, but has the capacity to go faster and harder if you ask for it.

Q = Quickie.

Hates them. Never. Never ever ever. If he can’t properly romance you and take his time with you, then what’s the point??

R = Risk.

Surprisingly, Laszlo is a little schemer, and he loves running a risk. He’s already looked down upon by other society members, so what’s the harm in squeezing your ass at a party? PERHAPS it’s inappropriate to get caught in a dark corner with your hand down his trousers and him kissing your neck, but it’s easy to blame it on the alcohol.

S = Stamina.

Once more, he is firmly middle aged, so he can do one round— maybe two, if he’s feeling particularly frisky. Usually, though, one is more than enough for both of you.

T = Toy.

HAVE YALL SEEN SEX TOYS FROM THE 1890S?? SHITS ARE SCARY. Laszlo does not like toys, but he understands their need for existing, so he may not like them but he tolerates them. That being said, he likes to watch you use them. LIke, he’ll sit in a chair by the bed and request you “put on a good show”, and he’ll watch you fall apart, and he’ll only come and touch you if you beg and plead for him to.

U = Unfair.

Mhm, so, in Laszlo’s mind, sex and pleasure are not just a give and take, it’s a two way street. They can (and often need to) coexist. He doesn’t like to initiate something if you won’t be able to reciprocate, so he’s not too into teasing or things. At the aforementioned parties, he’ll only goose your ass if he knows you’re 100% down for it.

V = Volume.

He’s fairly quiet. His mouth is usually really close to your ear, and you’re the only one who gets to hear his pretty little noises. The loudest he’ll be is when he’s come home after traveling and it’s felt like ages since he’s made love to you, he’s gonna come inside you, and his little gasp and moan are louder than usual.

W = Wild Card.

He is down to be tied up. He doesn’t like to tie you up, but if he’s the one being restrained, he’s all over it. It’s nothing too intense, just using a ribbon for your hair to tie his left hand to the headboard, not super tight but enough to make his fingers a little tingly, but he loves it. He loves the switch of the dynamic, how he’s fully at your mercy and you can use him however you please; usually, you just suck him off and ride him, but the endless possibilities get him hard as soon as you pull out the ribbon.

X = X-Ray.

Laszlo has Big Dick Energy, so he has to have a big dick. The best example of this sort of energy is in the very first episode after he goes and interviews Wolf, and comes to speak to Teddy, and Teddy is like “you interviewed the suspect? On whose authority??” and laszlo is like “Mine” like OH HIS DICK IS BIG I KNOW IT. He’s got an above average length and girth, but we know our man likes to eat, so some of his weight goes to his dick, so it’s like,,, He’s got a fat cock, sorry, I don’t make the rules

Y = Yearning.

Constantly. Neverending. He’s at work and he’ll catch a glimpse of a pastel drawing that you commissioned from John for Laszlo’s birthday that sits in a frame on his desk, and his heart starts to hurt from missing you. When he comes home, he’ll embrace you and kiss you like he hasn’t seen you in years, and he’ll want to hear all about your day. You have your doctor so whipped for you, and it’s a different kind of whipped than being pussy whipped. He’s, like, feelings whipped.

Z = ZZZ.

He’s a sleepy little baby after you guys finish. His eyes will be a little heavy and sticky as he’s cleaning up and caring for you (and you definitely coo at him “Oh, Las, you’re so sleepy!”) but when you’re both back in bed, our little man is circling his arm around your waist and nuzzling his cheek into your shoulder. He’s so soft and affectionate, and he’s out like a light when you kiss his forehead and tell him you love him.

#laszlo kreizler #the alienist #laszlo kreizler smut #daniel bruhl x reader #daniel bruhl smut #daniel brühl x reader #daniel brühl smut #laszlo kreizler x reader #daniel bruhl #daniel brühl

[canmom]

Animation Night 92 - Revue Starlight

Hi friends! Welcome to another Animation Night! This week I got asked about anime, and @the-descolada​ asked me about Shōjo☆Kageki Revue Starlight (少女☆歌劇 レヴュースタァライト), the ambitious 2018 anime directed by Kunihiko Ikuhara’s protege Tomohiro Furukawa.

Which reminded me... I’ve yet to watch last year’s RevStar movie! Well, this week’s Animation Night seemed like the perfect moment to remedy that, and also introduce you to the giraffe that has sat in my brain ever since I saw the anime... if at least one of you starts saying wakarimasu in a solemn tone of voice, I will have succeeded.

To see Revue Starlight in context, you need to know about two things: Kunihiko Ikuhara, and the Takarazuka Revue.

Let’s start with the first! A full account of Ikuhara’s fascinating career will have to wait for the day that we make him the focus of an Animation Night, but let’s see if we can cover the main points. Ikuhara is one of those distinctive, idiosyncratic auteurs that anime produces so well.

So, our boy Ikuhara got his start as a director on later seasons of Sailor Moon, and something of the experience must have given him a sense of the possibility of expression in the vocabulary of a limited-animation TV show in the tradition of Dezaki, particularly the repetition of ‘bank’ shots like a henshin [transformation, for the non-weebs in the audience] sequence. WikiMoon describes his tenure as being characterised by...

His signatures seem to be an offbeat sense of humor, like in episode 31; a refusal to shy away from themes others might feel too "dark" for a children's show, as shown in episodes 46 and 110; and the use of a high number of frames per second for seemingly insignificant scenes, such as in episode 26 and the aforementioned episode 31.[1]

Following this, Ikuhara set out to make his defining work, Revolutionary Girl Utena (少女革命ウテナ Shōjo Kakumei Utena). On the surface, it’s a story about a group of students at a rather vaguely defined academy competing through duels to gain custody of a girl called Anthy, the “Rose Bride”, which will in turn grant the ‘power to revolutionise the world’ - a situation into which Utena, a girl obsessed with an image of being a heroic ‘Prince’ comes barrelling in, capturing Anthy almost immediately and spending the rest of the series fending off attackers. Each of these duellists is painfully trapped in a complex web of abusive relationships, and the episodes will introduce us to their stories to set up for the duel where they will be defeated by Utena and come to some kind of turning point in their arc. At around the midpoint of the show, Anthy’s rapist brother Akio enters the picture and things take an even darker turn. But it’s also packed with all sorts of weird goofy humour, like the episode where one character gradually transforms into a cow - it doesn’t stick and nobody mentions it again.

Utena, however, loves to convey this story very obliquely. It’s full of creative cinematography; plot developments will be conveyed by a Greek chorus of shadows on a wall, there are many repeated sequences with minor variations, important events will be conveyed with visual metaphors such as a car ride standing in for sexual assault. As such, its extremely devoted fandom have produced many books worth of intensive analysis, carried out by writers such as @empty-movement​ who are able to pick out the exact meaning of each colour difference in a framing rose. (The first time I watched it it went miles over my head because I was very stupid back then. Since I am now somewhat less stupid when it comes to film criticism, I am well overdue for a rewatch.)

Why so much about Utena? Well, it’s impossible not to see its influence in RevStar, because Utena takes a great deal of its imagery from the all-women musical theatre the Takarazuka Revue - but more on them in a bit!

Tomohiro Furukawa entered the picture on Ikuhara’s second major project, Mawaru Penguindrum, which obliquely took on the subject of the 1995 sarin gas attacks by the cult Aum Shinrikyo. It follows a group of effectively-orphaned kids whose parents were arrested as members of a similar cult who get drawn into the orbit of a supernatural entity - but as ever with Ikuhara, it’s full of things that can only be interpreted metaphorically, like the ‘child broiler’. This is where Ikuhara pioneered many of the elements that would become signatures of his later work, like presenting crowd scenes as extremely iconified, roadsign like figures, or the battle between the otters and the kappa (though only alluded to here).

Anyway, lest this become a full Ikuhara retrospective - and leave me nothing to write when I finally figure out how to cram an acceptably standalone selection of Ikuhara works into an Animation Night post! - let me bring in kVin to comment on Furukawa’s role in all this...

Who is that Furukawa fellow who’d get viewers so excited? If you had asked a few years ago, the answer would have been a fairly impressive action animator. Ever since Penguindrum, though, his name has carried more weight. Before that show, he’d never even drawn a storyboard, but Kunihiro Ikuhara sensed something in him. Furukawa ended up co-storyboarding the openings and up to 6 episodes in the second half, alongside some other rising stars like Shouko Nakamura, Mitsue Yamazaki, and Katsunori Shibata. All of them turned out to be exceptional creators in their own right (it’s time for my mandatory recommendation of Nakamura’s Doukyuusei), with identities of their own that are still very much influenced by their mentor; it lives on in Yamazaki’s framing and Nakamura’s thematic and design sense for example, even if the both of them have followed very different paths in the end.

─ Although Ikuhara’s style is of course not a miracle conjured from nothingness – it initially came down to his real-life theatrical inspirations plus endless Osamu Dezaki-isms filtered through Shigeyasu Yamauchi‘s lens and some Junichi Sato comedy – he’s always had this much of an inspiring effect on the youngsters who work under him. And, in modern times, no one has absorbed his precepts better than Furukawa, who’s actually become integral to Ikuhara’s working process. He assisted him on every one of his new projects, from minor stuff like his ending sequences on Kokoro Connect, BROTHERS CONFLICT, and NORN9, to acting as co-series director on Yurikuma Arashi.

So, Revue Starlight. This project came to life as many modern anime do as an original ‘multimedia project’ by entertainment company Bushiroad, opening with a stage musical and then the anime which would serve to promote more profitable media like manga and, inevitably, a gacha game. But this anime, handled by Kinema Citrus, was Furukawa’s chance to show what he had learned from Ikuhara.

So what’s it even about? RevStar is set in a performing arts school very similar to the one that trains performers for the Takarazuka Revue. The Takarazuka Revue is a venerable theatre troupe, founded in 1913 by a rich industrialist Ichizō Kobayashi. It is unusual for being entirely women, which - given that many of its major plays are romance works - means women playing male roles is a foundation to its whole design.

Kobayashi was a seriously conservative dude, and in his view, his Revue should train women to be traditional ‘good wives and mothers’ once they left the production, and the authorities of the system were strictly insistent that it was all for the stage and the Revue would tolerate no sort of lesbian funny business. As you can surely imagine, this did not stop the performers, or the fans (who are almost exclusively women) - Takarazuka quickly became understood as a lesbian symbol.

The performers of the revue are divided into two groups, the otokoyaku (男役) who play male roles and the musumeyaku (娘役) who play female roles. Students are trained in these roles from the second year onwards, from which point the otokoyaku cut their hair shorter and adopt masculine forms of speech. Further, within each of the five troupes in a given year, there is a top star - technically two, one otokoyaku, one musumeyaku, but the otokoyaku tends to be heavily prioritised and will be the one referred to the top star - who plays the main character in the performance, and tends to get the lion’s share of devotion and attention.

The Revue covers a great variety of theatre, but a lot of their works are Western, and they are particularly associated with their take on French noble costumes. It was also extensively influential on manga, with Osamu Tezuka growing up very near to Takarazuka. Here, we actually find a bit of a circular chain of influence: the revue influenced the wildly popular shōjo manga The Rose of Versailles, a story indirectly about the Japanese Left but set in the court of Versailles - and notably featuring the fictional Oscar, a woman raised as a boy who becomes captain of the Royal Guard. Takarazuka subsequently staged a number of adaptations of the manga, which became one of their most popular productions and cemented the both the otokoyaku/musumeyaku division and the ‘Top Star’ system in the 70s.

Here’s a poster from the 2013 production:

Naturally, there have been many times when Takarazuka performers have been in lesbian relationships, and sometimes settled down together after leaving the troupe - though this generally must be extremely clandestine since it is grounds for being fired from the Revue. In fact, the militaristic uniforms that became so iconic to the Revue’s image were originally an attempt to curb the rumours of lesbianism; performers were further forbidden from exchanging mail with their fans.

So, Revue Starlight. It is in large part a critique of the Takarazuka Revue - the Top Star system in particular. In addition to their daylight training for a first year production of a story called Starlight, which Emily Rand reads as a blend of The Rose of Versailles and Elizabeth, the girls compete regularly in secret duels on a hidden stage overseen by... a giraffe. The winner of this contest - the one who ‘shines brightest’ and is fit to be Top Star - we eventually learn will be granted the power to make a shine on whatever stage they desire - in effect a pretty open-ended wish. Everyone else? Well, it’s not clear at first... they all really want to be top star.

So, much like Utena, most episodes culminate in a duel, each character armed with a particular weapon. These duels are also occasion for each character to sing a duet, which forms the backdrop to their battle, as the stage contorts itself into symbolism for the relationships being contested. They’re spectacular, thanks in large part to the brilliant action animation of figures like Takushi Koide.

Unlike something like Utena, these hush-hush duels seem to be taking place in a much more mundane world - and though they keep fighting them, the girls also struggle to figure out why exactly there’s a talking giraffe.

Into this charged situation, enter Karen Aijo - who can’t see the logic of the Top Star system and doesn’t see why they can’t all shine on stage, and competes to this end. She’s joined by her childhood friend, Hikari, with whom she shared a promise (yep, it’s anime) to one day perform Starlight with her. And beyond that is a large cast of other ambitious young performers; outside of the duels, the show takes on a kind of tone of lightly comedic, slice of life school story, with enough drama to come out on the secret giraffe stage. (Oh and yeah they’re like... pretty much all gay. It’s fully yuri. How could it not be though really?)

I won’t spoil where it goes, since we’re about to watch it, but it’s a compelling, suitably high-drama arc with some really spectacular animation along the way - and the movie looks like it will be even more so. So, if you will, come and enjoy a delightful opening of what we may hopefully one day call the ‘Ikuhara school’ of symbolism-drenched lesbian anime.

Animation Night 92 will be starting shortly at our usual place - https://twitch.tv/canmom ! We’ll watch the original RevStar series followed by the movie. I’d love to power through it all in one go, but we might end up splitting like we did last week, because it’s not a short programme. Still, for however much we manage tonight, I hope you’ll come join~

#animation night #revue starlight

[magalidragon]

Okay drabble #2 for @lalacristina18 ‘s ask! Hope you like this one! It’s a little silly and kind of Fixer Upper Fanfiction ( @nlights37 is that a thing? I’m doing it) meets my drabble “wet paint.”

Enjoy!

haunted house | 30. “You better watch yourself”

It was the dumbest thing she had ever done.

Except she felt like she had to do it.

How else was she going to get the cute handyman to ask her out?

"Just ask him out!" her best friend shouted, as she took a crowbar to the siding on her house, prying up the nails. Missandei was used to most of her antics, but she knew this was going too far. She watched, amazed, slightly terrified, and in awe, muttering, "You have gone mental Daenerys."

Maybe she had gone mental, but she was also put off by how attractive the handyman was. He was incredibly sweet. A little goofy; he apologized one day when he showed up in thick black glasses, saying he'd forgotten to put his contacts in before he left the house. She had wondered why someone would apologize for that, but she soon learned that Jon Snow, Handyman Extraordinaire, apologized for quite a few things that were in no way his fault or under his control.

Like when he couldn't get a part in time to fix her hot water tank, because it was a weekend and the store was closed. "No problem, guess I'll see you Monday," she had simply said with a smile and a cheerful glee, because she knew they were closed on the weekend and he'd have to come back Monday.

Or when she had purposefully yanked out some sort of fuse in her car so it wouldn't start and he had apologized that it had gone missing. "Not your fault at all!" Because it's totally my fault and then she'd pretended to find the fuse on the ground. "Will this fix it?"

He frowned at the tiny piece of place and wire. "Um, aye, that's so weird..."

Today she was going to claim there was something wrong with her siding and it needed to be replaced. She dropped the crowbar, wiping sweat off her forehead, and placed her hands on her hips, glancing at Missandei, who was shaking her head side-to-side. "What?"

"Just bloody ask him out! I'll do it for you. You're destroying your house just to get him to come over." She smirked. "He has to know what you're doing. He's just taking your money and knowing you're using him which is wrong, or he's really bloody stupid and that's not great either."

"You haven't met him yet."

"What guy could be so attractive and cute and sweet and all that for you to resort to this!?" Missandei waved her hands at the splintered wood at her feet. She sighed, closing her eyes. "Dany, love, you are my best friend but..."

"Good morning!"

Dany threw the crowbar into the bushes, spinning on her heels and beaming at the man who had poked his head around the open fence to her back garden. She waved. "Hello Jon! Good morning to you!" She rounded on Missandei, who stared at him and smirked knowingly. "You're a little early."

He turned pink, coming around the corner holding onto his toolbox. "Aye, sorry about that, I thought I might get you a coffee..." he trailed off and politely smiled at Missandei. "Oh I am sorry, I would have gotten another....here, you can have mine if you want."

To her best friend's stunned silence, he removed one of the two takeout coffee cups from the tray in his other hand and passed it to her. Missandei swallowed hard, clearing her throat. "Thank you, that's...so nice of you."

He smiled again in his shy, half-smile way that Dany absolutely bloody adored, and turned his face to her. "You called last night and said that your bathroom pipes were leaking again? I don't know what is going on, I mean..." He scratched his hair, brow furrowing, and gazed up at the old-as-shit house she had purchased with intent to completely renovate. "I swear I just fixed those..."

"Oh you did, I'm sure this place is cursed."

"By a Valyrian dragon," Missandei mumbled under her breath.

Dany stepped on her foot and crossed her arms, grinning. "And would you look at this? This siding is rotten, I think we'll need to replace it."

"Um, yes of course." He knelt and picked up some of the wood, shaking his head. "You must have an angry ghost Dany, this looks like someone took a crowbar to it." He was immediately concerned, jumping to his feet. "You should file a police report, someone could be vandalizing your property!"

Missandei sipped her free coffee and mumbled again, not so quietly, "Hmm, someone with silver hair I think."

"What?" Jon asked.

"Ignore her, she's mad." She forced another smile. "It's fine. I...thank you Jon, perhaps look at those pipes first and then we can look at the siding."

"I have wood," he blurted out.

Missandei choked. Dany flushed bright red. "Oh?"

"Hmm, in the truck. Be right back." He turned on his heel and walked away. Dany elbowed her best friend, who stared now at his retreating back.

"Oh my."

"It's beautiful. I just like to look at it."

Missandei patted her arm. "Daenerys you are my best friend, but if you don't ask him out by the end of the day, I'm going to tell him everything you've been doing and only because I'm scared you might set your house on fire just to watch him come running in with the fire hose."

Dany hummed. The idea was appealing, but arson was certainly not an option.

Yet.

---

It was the end of the day; she'd tried her damndest to get him to ask her out. Missandei had left, becaus she claimed she couldn't watch it any longer, proclaiming them both "stupid idiots" and Dany had to agree. She was a stupid idiot, trying to get him to look at her as something other than the crazy lady in the haunted house. She'd worn her bikini top while gardening, she'd broken her siding, and stuffed leaves in her gutters.

And Jon Snow still didn't bloody get it.

Maybe he was stupid, she thought, and watched him bent over some exposed pipes in the hallway leading to the master bedroom. A himbo or something. Except she knew he wasn't, because she'd seen that he had a stack of books in his truck to return to the library, one of which happened to be her brother's boring ass tome on Targaryen History, and he'd eagerly chatted with her about it.

"So why are you a contractor?" she asked. She kept referring to him as a handyman, but reminded herself he was more than that. He ran his own business and lumber yard up in Winterfell. "Do you just like fixing things?"

He shrugged, reaching his arm down into the pipes. "I do like fixing things, but when I got out of the military, nothing really appealed to me. Didn't want a boss again and I like building things. Working on my own terms."

"I like that too." It was why she moved up North, a freelance journalist, and needing a safe quiet space to recharge and focus between assignments. She got up and cleared her throat. "I'll be downstairs if you need me." She was halfway down the stairs when she heard a strange sound. It was a yowl.

It sounded like Drogon, she thought, turning towards the wall. "Drogon?" she called.

He meowed again, pitiful. She moved closer towards the wall and knocked. Her voice trembled, calling once more. "Drogon?"

A light scratching and more yowling.

She screamed, realizing with horror that Drogon was inside the bloody wall. "DROGON!" She banged on the wall, running up the stairs, crying out. "Jon! Drogon's in the wall!"

"What?"

"I think he must have crawled in when we were talking and not looking, oh my gods, Drogon!"

Jon frowned at her, still not moving. He narrowed his eyes. "Drogon's in the wall, huh?"

"I think so."

He cocked his head and got to his feet, sighing hard. "Dany, I...I think I know what's going on and..." He turned bright pink. "I really have to confess something..." He shifted on his feet and blurted out, really fast, his Northern burr thick. "I...I know that not everything here is breaking and...and I'm fixing it and stuff, but...well...the store was open and I didn't get hte part because I wanted to come see you and...and I may not have cleaned the gutters all the way so I could come back and...oh gods, I haven't charged you at all because I'm just...I like you!"

Her eyes widened, too terrified for her cat to process what he'd just admitted to her. "But...I...I'm sorry, but he's really in the wall! Listen!"

They both were quiet and after a second, heard the pathetic howling of a trapped cat.

Jon moaned, mortified, shoving his face into his palms. "Oh my gods! I'm so sorry! I thought...oh fuck, forget what I said!"

"No I can't forget it because I like you too!" They could have this conversation after they saved her damn cat.

It took awhile, of her trying to coax the damn cat out from the opening in the floor, to Jon carefully searching and finding a space in the wall to knock through with a sledgehammer so he wouldn't hit Drogon or anything unsafe. Bits of drywall and debris scattered, "You better watch yourself," she warned him, when Drogon began to hiss and pant, terrified as they drew closer to him. "He might attack!"

"He's just scared, he'll be alright."

A couple hours later, her entire hallway and stairwell covered in broken bits of drywall, plaster, wood, and insulation, her very dirty and ashy cat enveloped in a blanket in her arms, Dany finally looked up at JOn. He hadn't said a word to her about his confession of not really fixing anything because he liked her and wanted ot keep seeing her.

She ducked her head, whispering, "I know it was wrong of me too, to keep breaking things...I just really liked you too."

"I'm not good with women," he admitted.

"Clearly, I was walking around in my bikini and you didnt say a word."

"I was trying to be professional!"

She giggled. Drogon whined in her arms. She scowled. "Hey! You didn't think I was serious that my cat got stuck in the wall!"

"I thought it was another thing like when you called me to say that your pipes were clogged at ten at night." He arched his brows. "Come on Dany."

"Alright, that was a ruse...but he really did get stuck!" She let go of Drogon, who raced into her bedroom to hide under the bed and lick his wounds-- more like his pride at having to be rescued by humans of all things. She looked up at Jon, sitting on the step just above her and grinned. "Can we agree to just...kind of start over?"

he nodded and licked his lips; she shivered. "Start over at dinner tonight?"

"Yes, dinner is perfect."

"And I'll be the first thing in the morning to start working on..." he gazed around at the chaos surrounding them, sighing. "This."

"Sounds good."

Turned out he didn't have to show up early at all the next morning, because he was already there, fast asleep in her bed, both of them exhausted. Dinner had been merely an afterthought.

#jonerys #jonerys au #my fics #my moodboards #jonerys fanfic #stupid silly shit here #dorkssss

[illegal-spiegel]

Firsts with Kyoya

Pairing: Kyoya Ootori x f!reader Genre: Fluff, vv light smut Warnings: smut at the end. CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP

First Meeting:

surprisingly enough, the way you two met was through his father 

you just moved from America and your dad had business with Kyoya’s 

after meeting you, Kyoya’s dad, Yoshio Ootori, was determined to have you meet his son 

you made arrangements to come back when his son was there, wanting to please your father

it’s hard to do such a thing 

you are an only child and a female 

in America, it would’ve been easier to take over his company

but in Japan? 

it’s near impossible now 

either way, you do all you can to make the man happy  

and if making an arranged marriage with this boy would do that, then you’d do it in a heartbeat 

even if you’d rather marry someone you love

you came back the next day for lunch, sitting at a big table with the Ootori family and your mother and father 

Kyoya was nowhere to be found 

suddenly, you hear a boisterous voice come from outside of the large dining room 

“But, Kyoya! I need help with my Japanese! I also want to use one of those Kotatsu things!” you hear someone shout in Japanese, but with an accent 

you don’t hear a response

instead, you hear a maid softly tell the gentlemen that Kyoya’s family and the guests are waiting in the dining room 

there are then quick footsteps to the dining room 

two maids open the door and in strolls a blond and a raven-haired male 

they both stare at Mr. Ootori before looking around the table 

both of their eyes eventually stop on you 

“Son, you’re late, and you brought a guest,” Mr. Ootori says with a hidden emotion

they are both silent for a moment before the blond speaks up 

“Sorry, Mr. Ootori. I can leave. I held Kyoya up an-”

“It’s alright. Why don’t you both take a seat?” he says in a sugary sweet tone, motioning for a maid to set another place down for the blond 

Kyoya was sat right across from you 

his gaze makes you feel insecure all of a sudden 

“Sorry about being so late. I’ll make it up to you somehow,” Kyoya apologizes to your family 

your father speaks up first, smiling at him as he did so 

“No worries, young man.” 

you could hear his American accent when he spoke 

he then glances at you, expecting you to say something  

your eyes widen at this realization as you clear your throat 

“Oh, uh, yes. It’s quite alright. We were quite early, anyway,” you reassure 

Kyoya gives you both a smile, it seeming a bit fake to you but you weren’t about to call him out on it

“Let’s eat,” his father announces 

from there, you ate in silence and only spoke when spoken to, just like your father taught you

about halfway through lunch, the blond started speaking to you 

he introduced himself and you both started a conversation from there

you couldn’t help to let the serious facade fade and to smile at the boy 

he was very sweet and funny, even if he was kind of loud

you discovered he’s quite goofy 

after dinner, Mr. Ootori offered to show your dad to his office to talk further about business plans 

he instructed his son to ‘entertain’ you 

you, Kyoya, and Tamaki made your way out

“What would you like to do, Miss (L/n)?” Kyoya asks in a formal tone 

you hold back a frown at his tone 

is he always so serious? 

“Let’s go to the garden! I’m sure (Y/n) would like it!” Tamaki basically shouts 

Tamaki offers you his arm, which you happily take

he then leads you to the garden which you did, in fact, fall in love with 

Kyoya was relieved that Tamaki was easily able to entertain you but knew his father would be mad at him if he found out it wasn’t his son who was the one entertaining you

so with that thought, he comes over to you and starts informing you on the different flowers, their meaning, etc. 

you spend some time with the two boys in the garden before hearing your dad’s booming voice

you turn and see your father waiting on you, nodding your head to let him know you heard him

you turn back to the boys and flash them a smile, bowing to them since you read that’s what you’re supposed to do when thanking someone

“Thank you for showing me the garden. See ya later,” you thank before walking away to go over to your father

Kyoya’s eyes follow your figure as you leave, the gears in his mind churning 

First Time Hanging Out:

Kyoya’s father never told him why exactly he had to interact with you so much

“Text Y/n.” “Invite Y/n over for dinner.” “Give Y/n a call.”

and now, he wants him to take you out

his father made reservations for you two at one of the most expensive restaurants in the area, then making plans to go see a musical 

when you saw a limo outside of your house, you grew very nervous 

this felt like a date

but like not a date?

Kyoya was taking you to places that couples go on dates but Kyoya just didn’t really seem interested in you? 

you get into the limo with a smile slapped onto your face, kindly greeting the handsome male 

he greets you before going quiet

he then remembers that he’s supposed to get you to like him or whatever his father said 

so, he strikes up a conversation with you  

you quietly respond as he speaks to you, feeling a little uncomfortable 

about halfway to wherever you’re going, he seems to give up on talking to you 

you feel a bit guilty for not really participating in the conversation but how could you?

he was acting like someone is holding a gun to his head and forcing him to talk to you

you sigh as you stare out the window, your eyes lighting up at the sight 

the sun was setting, making reds and oranges paint the sky

Kyoya notices the look in your eyes, a weird feeling coming up in his chest 

he helps you out of the car once you reach the restaurant, not seeing the expression on your face

the said expression on your face is one of shock 

sure, your dad is a CEO of a company but that doesn’t mean you are insanely rich and get to blow your money on whatever

your dad gave you money when you asked for it 

which is close to never 

as you both take your seats, your entire body is stiff

you felt like if you breathed too much, you’d knock the expensive vase full of flowers off the table somehow 

Kyoya notices your tense state but doesn’t comment on it 

when you’re brought your menus, you try to find the cheapest thing available, which is not cheap at all in your book 

you didn’t even have an appetite anymore 

finally, Kyoya can’t take it anymore 

“Would you like to go somewhere else?” he offers

you let out a breath of relief, nodding your head with a small smile

“Yes, please,” you whisper

he offers a hand to assist you to stand up, you lightly taking it 

once outside, he turns to face you 

“Where would you like to go?” 

you look around before spotting a McDonald’s, smiling as you point it out 

“I want to go there,” you say with a bright smile 

Kyoya internally groans at the sight of the greasy place, wondering why you’d want to go there out of all places 

“Alright. Let’s go,” he says in an almost monotone voice 

you happily lead the way, your stomach growling a bit 

you didn’t really care for McDonald’s all that much but it reminds you of home 

of America 

you order for the both of you and pay before he can even blink 

you lead him to a table once you get your food, giggling at his expression 

“You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to.”

he studies the food as you eat a fry, acting as if it’ll start moving 

“It’s fine. Besides, you paid for it,” he says softly, picking up a fry and slowly eating it 

he wouldn’t admit it out loud but it didn’t taste that bad 

you both eat and, surprisingly, have a proper conversation 

you seemed much more relaxed and happy as you ate the fatty food 

Kyoya just didn’t understand you 

after you both finished eating, he told you about the musical 

you agreed to go to that since you changed the food plans 

you go together and you both actually enjoyed it. It was entertaining in different ways 

once he takes you home, you were kind of sad to leave 

he and Tamaki are the only things you have close to friends 

First Dance:

okay yeah, so, normally people don’t dance unless they go to a school dance or their significant other is just that romantic 

but the Ootori’s are far from normal 

they hold some sort of ball every year for some reason or another (you weren’t really listening)

your father made you dress up like a princess

makeup and all (you look kinda like a clown in your opinion. Your face feels ten times heavier)

after knowing Kyoya and Tamaki for a while now, you were all kind of friends now

if you can call it that 

you and Tamaki are for sure

you hang out all the time

Kyoya though? 

you weren’t sure if you could call him a friend 

Tamaki told you that they associate with each other because of a club

Kyoya would have no interest in him if there wasn’t something for him to gain 

it broke your heart to hear that 

Tamaki is such a caring person who deserves the world, in your opinion

he’s been through so much, he deserves to have a best friend 

I suppose he sees you as his best friend 

anyway, you eventually reach the Ootori estate after a boring drive with your father (he kept telling you how to act, eat, walk, speak, blah blah blah)

you head up the steps as soon as the door is open for you, taking in the fresh air with a smile 

 as soon as you get inside, you feel suffocated again 

you wanted to run to the garden, which is where you normally go when visiting the Ootori’s

your father is right behind you though, leading you to the long table piled with food 

you realize it’s because that’s where Kyoya is 

he ‘drops you off’ there before walking away to speak to important people 

Kyoya gives you a nod in acknowledgment before taking a sip of whatever he’s drinking in that fancy glass of his 

you face the table and can’t help but to feel your mouth water 

you’re starving 

your dad is forcing you on this stupid diet to have you be thinner 

‘men like their women thin,’ he said

it made you want to puke 

back in America, he was a pretty chill dad 

ever since we got here though, it’s like there’s a devil on his shoulder whispering all this nonsense to him 

maybe it’s that Mr. Ootori...

you didn’t even realize you’re stuffing your face, literally shoving as much as you can into it, before you feel a tap on your shoulder

you’re still chewing when you turn around, seeing a slightly older gentleman offering his hand to you 

“May I have this dance, Miss L/n?”

you quickly gulp down the food and take his hand with a polite smile 

dad says that you should always accept offers to dance 

you didn’t want to dance with this guy though 

he’s not that much older than you but he’s clearly not in high school anymore 

he also has too much cologne on 

and you just want to stuff your face with those delicious looking Mushi Pan

but alas, you're forced to dance

it seems that a slow song starts just as you step out onto the dance floor 

you’re are about a minute into the song before someone taps on his shoulder, making him pause and turn around 

“May I cut in?”

the guy huffs a bit but nods his head, bowing to you a bit before stalking off 

you bite back a smile as Kyoya takes ahold of your hand and waist

“Didn’t take you as a dancer,” you tease, letting your hand fall onto his shoulder

he hums as he looks anywhere but you as he replies

“I’m talented in many subjects, including dancing.”

you roll your eyes at his bragging, sighing as you look away from him

“That man was a terrible dancer,” he continues when you don’t reply 

you frown at his words, refusing to look at him 

“Reminds me of you trying to cook pancakes,” he teases.

you gasp in mock offense, taking your hand off of his shoulder to hit his chest

“I am great at making pancakes!” you argue, trying not to smile 

a small smile graces his face as he disagrees with you, playful banter being shot between you both 

neither of you realized how long you’d been dancing until his father starts making a speech (apparently he does it every year towards the end of the ball)

Kyoya leads you off the dance floor and back to the food 

“I heard your stomach grumble as soon as you saw the Mushi Pan,” he teases

it’s kinda weird to hear him be so playful 

you lightly shove him before grabbing one of the spongey desserts, taking a bite of half of it and moaning 

“These are literally so good,” you mumble around all the food in your mouth

you were too busy falling in love with the soft yumminess in your hand to realize that Kyoya was giving you the softest look 

okay, maybe he did have a soft spot for you

First Time Giving a Compliment: 

you both are at that phase where accidental touches aren’t so accidental anymore and you’re a lot shyer around him now 

he seems just as confident in himself as always 

so, when he walks up to you while you’re talking to Haruhi and asks you to go to the mall with him 

you’re shocked 

you, of course, agree, trying not to blush

you both head to the mall after the club is done for the day

you both walk around, going into a few stores

neither of you really buy anything 

eventually, Kyoya’s need to shower you in gifts kicks in 

he leads you into a store that he thinks you like and asks what size stuff you wear

you’re embarrassed to tell him things like your pants’ size 

what if he thinks you’re fat?

he doesn’t react in any sort of way really when you tell him 

he then starts walking around the store, picking out things that catch his eye and things he thinks you’ll like 

he then comes back to where you’re standing, admiring a necklace

he hands you a bunch of clothes and tells you to go try it on 

you walk into the dressing room, trying on a pair of jeans and a shirt he picked out 

he’s sitting on a plush chair and looking around when you come back out 

his eyes instantly snap to yours before roaming your body 

he smirks and gives a nod 

“You look good.”

a blush instantly slaps onto your face, biting your lip to hide your smile 

“Thank you,” you whisper

you then scurry back into the dressing room, staring at your reflection 

did that just happen?

did Kyoya Ootori really just give you a compliment?

you silently squeal and jump around happily 

Kyoya watches in amusement as your feet go up to hide behind the door before coming back down to meet the floor 

he can clearly see you fangirling but doesn’t call you out on it

after trying on everything and picking out what you like, you both make your way to the register 

as soon as the cash register says the price, Kyoya is handing over his card before you can even reach for your wallet 

you gape at his card before gaping up at him 

“Why would you do th—”

“Oh, I want to purchase that necklace too,” Kyoya says cooly as he points out the necklace you were eyeing earlier 

“No! We don’t need anything more. Thank you,” you say before the cashier can move

they look between the two of you, trying to decide who to listen to 

“Don’t waste more of your money on me, Kyoya,” you plead, already feeling bad

he sighs before waving his hand at the cashier, nodding his head 

“Alright, that’ll be all.”

you relax at his words, picking up your bag once the cashier hands back your receipt and his card 

you then quickly head for the exit 

Kyoya whispers something to cashier before following after you 

you then quickly lead the way out of the mall, feeling embarrassed and guilty for having him pay for you

Kyoya didn’t mind one bit though 

he’d buy you the world if he could 

First Time Giving You a Gift:

you guessed it 

he went back for the necklace 

and gave it to you for your birthday

your heart didn’t know what to do with itself 

you ended up throwing your arms around him for a hug

he kissed your forehead and held onto you tightly 

this was your first hug 

and man, neither of you wanted to let go 

but alas

you can’t stay in each other’s arms forever 

you tried for a while though before the gang started gagging at the two of you 

you pull away and smile bashfully up at him as you thank him again 

he then asks if he can put it on you 

you hand it over to him and turn around, pulling your hair up 

he slips it between your arms and then pins it behind your neck, his hands coming to rest on your shoulders afterward

you then turn back around with one of the brightest smiles he’s ever seen 

“It looks good on you,” he whispers 

he gets like this now 

all sweet and mushy, even in public 

he liked to keep it as private as possible though, hence the whispering

you try to contain your blush, but it’s impossible at this point

“Thank you,” you say again

First Kiss:

okay so 

I’m sure you guessed this as well 

he initiated it 

it kinda surprised and didn’t surprise you both at the same time 

like 

you both had your suspicions that you liked each other (it helped that literally everyone constantly told you both that you are head’s over heels for each other) 

he took you on a date 

and no, it wasn’t at some fancy schmancy place 

it was at night when he texted you and asked to hangout 

you had to sneak out of your house 

and there was Kyoya waiting for you outside your house 

you both were driven around for what felt like ever before finally reaching your destination 

the middle of nowhere 

you made a joke asking if he’s actually a serial killer and this is where he takes his victims to kill them 

he, of course, joked back and said yes, but you are his favorite victim 

you playfully gushed as he went to the trunk (you made another joke saying he’s getting his ax)

he pulled out a picnic basket and a couple blankets 

you raised a brow as you helped him hold some of the stuff, letting him lead the way 

he led you into a field, the grass going up to your thighs 

then, Kyoya steps into a clearing 

you actually gushed this time when you noticed it’s in the shape of a heart 

“How romantic,” you teased as you set the big blanket down 

it’s getting dark outside but you swore you could see a blush dusted over his cheeks 

you set everything up before getting comfortable 

he then pulled all the food out of the basket, making your heart melt (and your stomach growl) 

he made all of your favorites

no, not the chef 

he did 

you gave him a kiss on the cheek before starting to dig in 

you both talked to each other quietly despite the fact that you two were the only ones out there 

you both admired the sun as it sets 

more so you since he was too busy looking at you 

you both stayed out there for hours. Cuddling, holding hands, sharing secrets, all the goods 

at one point, you both had stopped talking and were just staring up at the stars 

you felt eyes on you, making you turn your head to find a pair of brown-grey eyes focused on you 

you blushed as you studied his eyes 

he’s the only one you know with eyes like that 

you couldn’t see his eyes at one point cause he closed them and leaned in, connecting your lips 

your heart lurched into your throat, deciding it belonged there instead of your chest

you both kissed for a moment before pulling away 

you smiled bashfully at him, feeling a blush coming back to your face 

“That was my first kiss,” you admitted softly 

his eyes widened before he relaxed, smiling back at you 

“Me too. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did,” he whispered

you giggled like a schoolgirl at his words, nodding your head 

you then leaned back in and gave him another kiss 

that happened throughout the night 

after he had asked you to be his girlfriend

First Time Having Sex:

(you remember that episode where Kyoya tugs Haruhi onto the bed and like get on top of her?)

(YEAH BRO)

(that shii hit different)

so 

there you two were

casually hanging out with everyone on your little vacation AFTER HIGH SCHOOL AS ADULTS

Tamaki absolutely refused to let you two share a room 

he said you’d be safer staying in ‘daddy’s’ room

Kyoya straight up told him, “Over my dead body.” 

the twins thought it was hilarious 

you ended up getting rooms right across from each other 

you and Haruhi were sharing a room cause “You two can bond!” 

Tamaki and his ideas, you swear 

you didn’t mind though 

it was fun having girly time with Haruhi 

but you wanted to see your boyfriend 

so, once Haruhi fell asleep, you snuck across the hall to see Kyoya 

and there he sat 

looking tall, dark, and handsome 

he had just got out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his torso

and shirtless

cleanup in the doorway cause there’s drool everywhere 

it was then you realized you never really get to see him without his glasses 

he stood up silently, walking over to you 

you flashed him a smile, extending your arms a bit as you waited for a hug which is normally how you greet each other 

that clearly wasn’t what he had in mind 

your eyes widened as he tugged on your arm and forced you onto the bed 

you’re pretty sure your heart flew out of your chest and is now somewhere on the floor 

he quickly crawled onto the bed and hovered over you, staring down at you with clouded eyes 

“Oya?” you whispered your nickname for him, your eyes wide as he just silently took you in 

you hadn’t changed out of your swimsuit yet from being on the beach all day 

you had one of his button-up t-shirts on though, which was enough to cover you up 

he didn’t reply as he leaned down to connect your lips

normally, your kisses don’t last long and are super sweet 

or are passionate and include some groping 

this kiss though? It felt fiery and new and exciting 

you instantly returned it, humming softly 

his hands started to roam, starting at your thighs and ending up on your stomach 

he then lifted his hands to start to undo the buttons of his shirt 

once the buttons were all undone, his hands go back to wandering 

he stopped below your chest and pulled back to look down at you, silently asking for permission 

you let out a shaky sigh and nod of your head 

after experimenting with your chest, he started to get serious 

foreplay lasted for a good bit, seeing as how this is both of your first time doing it together

when it came time to do the actual deed, he pulled away to go to the table he was sitting at previously 

you watched him with furrowed brows, your naked body going cold without his touch 

he picked up his wallet and pulled out a condom, turning to you with a smirk 

you snorted with a raise of your brow, leaning back on your elbows 

“You brought a condom? Confident are we?” you teased 

he smirked darkly as he walked back over to you, standing by the side of the bed as he slipped it on 

“I didn’t bring just one,” he said in a deeper tone than normal 

your face instantly got hot

he then took his time with you 

letting you adjust and making love to you 

he wanted it to be perfect for you 

for the both of you 

you felt like you were in heaven 

though, god was probably frowning at you 

you snorted in the middle of Kyoya pulling out to thrust back in 

“Are you laughing at me?” he questioned with a brow going up to hide in his loose hair 

he didn’t even bother giving you a chance to reply and explain 

he just started going faster, making you forget anything you were going to say 

once you both climaxed, he cleaned you both up before holding you in his arms 

you didn’t mean to fall asleep in his arms

but you did 

the next morning, Tamaki came to Kyoya’s room to wake him up, seeing as how everyone else was already at breakfast except for you and him 

Haruhi said you weren’t in the room and she figured you went to the beach as soon as the sun started to rise since you talked about wanting to go shell hunting while enjoying the sunrise 

he didn’t bother knocking and just walked in 

he yelped in surprise and turned around, getting that famously dark blush of his 

Kyoya had his famous murder gaze as you held him back 

“I swear I didn’t see anything!” Tamaki yells as he takes off down the hallway 

Masterlist 

more with ohshc

#kyoya ootori #ouran high school host club #ohshc kyoya #kyoya x reader #ohshc kyoya x reader #kyoya #ohshc x reader #ouran high school host club x reader #anime #anime x reader #kyoya fluff #ohshc fluff #ohshc x reader fluff #kyoya ootori fluff #ohshc kyoya fluff #kyoya ootori smut #ohshc kyoya smut #ohshc smut #ouran high school host club fluff #ouran high school host club smut #ouran high school host club kyoya #ohshc headcanon #kyoya ootori headcanon #ohshc kyoya headcanon

[zodiyack]

Siren Seduction

Alternate title: Not So Bad After All

Kind of requested?: captivatedbycillianmurphy said: I’m actually a professional mermaid, it would be cool if you wrote a story about Tommy finding me by accident “in tail !” LOL🤣🧜🏻‍♀️ Siren Seduction !

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x reader

Warnings: partial nudity mention, mermaids, swearing

Note: So there are two different “Siren Seduction” stories. I didn’t know if you meant that you wanted an actual mermaid or not, so this one is x reader where he finds his human lover in a fake tail but not on accident, and then the next one is where he finds his actual mermaid lover on accident. (I know you said accident but I forgot when I was writing, hope you like it!)

ALSO! I don’t know if any of you guys have a preferred tail color, so I just went with one. Feel free to send a request with a specific color or tell me a color before I write the second version!

Y/m/n = Your Mermaid Name

masterlist | Peaky Blinders Masterlist

alternate story

Tommy ran throughout his house. Charlie was on his hip, resting his head upon his father’s shoulder. They were on a mission to find Y/n. Earlier that day, Tommy asked why she was so secretive. Y/n told Tommy that she did some stuff he would find strange and that’s why she was worried how he’d feel. He tried to reassure her, telling her that nothing she does can be weird, let alone affect his love for her.

She didn’t believe him, but she nodded and walked away. And now that Charlie and him were trying to find her, it seemed like she impossible to find.

In all truth, Pol and Ada were the only ones Y/n told of her hobbies. She put on mermaid shows for kids down at the aquarium in the zoo. They cleaned out a special tank just for her, amazed with her ability to hold her breath for 5 minutes at a time. Her trick was to move around a bit so it only seemed natural that she went up to get air.

Charlie had seen his mum once, but he couldn’t remember since he didn’t realize it was her. Polly had taken Karl and Charlie, showing them the amazing, “y/m/n” and her wonderful tail. They were amazed to say the least. Polly and Ada also thought it looked fun, and they agreed with their opinion after Y/n got them to swim with her. 

Swim suits weren’t the most flattering looking with a mermaid tail, but Y/n refused to go topless, as she worked with kids and even if she didn’t, she wasn’t too keen on other people, who were definitely not her husband, seeing her chest. So instead, she wore her underwear.

The woman’s underwear was a white top (tank-top kind of top) with a connected bottom, and the bottoms were white shorts. There were a few different kinds, some lacy, some connected on the sides rather than the whole waist, and some even had cute little frills or bows. Y/n favored her frilly looking one, for it covered more skin and still was adorable.

Her tail, clothed in semi-visible sparkles and a gorgeous baby pink that faded into teal. It was designed by the three women, and boy were they proud of it. The man who owned the aquarium continued asking Y/n to do her shows after the first one. He didn’t expect it to become so popular, the woman submerged underwater, bathed in bright colors with her hair floating around her so elegantly.

Sadly, it was time her husband found out. And that wasn’t decided by any of the girls. It was decided by Tommy himself.

He pushed through the door to the room Pol was in, not giving two shits about the company that was over. “Pol. Where’s my wife?” His tone was slightly aggressive, making his question more of a demand.

“Working.” Poor Tommy didn’t know that Y/n begged his aunt and sister not to share anything, but he did know that one of them would give in at some point.

“Y/n doesn’t work. You and I both know that. The only work she does, is with me and the boys, and I don’t see us doing any jobs currently.”

“Thomas, I have guests. Your wife is working. And if I were you, I’d take Charlie elsewhere, he looks rather bored.”

Tommy grunted. He wouldn’t accept defeat. He did have to respect that his aunt was in a meeting, she did it for him too, so there was that. Charlie and him would just have to go see Ada. Hopefully she was an easier nut to crack.

The Shelby adjusted his son onto his back, earning a delighted giggle from the young boy. If he was going to find Ada, why not entertain the “rather bored” Charlie while he’s at it? He took off running slightly, arms securing Charlie to his back.

The fun was actually fun to Tommy. He made note do it more often. Not only was the playing fun, but it warmed his heart to hear his son giggle like that. He finally set him down, holding his hand and guiding him over to the couch Ada sat on. She looked very concentrated on a photo, but quickly flipped it over and smiled at her nephew.

“Ahem, Ada.”

“Yes, Tommy? Is this about Y/n? I could hear you and Pol.” Ada lifted Charlie onto her lap after she finished her sentence. She made funny faces at him while her brother spoke.

“Yes actually. I’d like to know where my wife is, or where she is ‘working’.”

Ada’s eyes never left Charlie when she spoke, too busy making more faces to get him to laugh. “I can’t tell you anything Tom, I’m sorry.”

“You can. She’s my fucking wife, and I demand to know where the fuck she is.”

“Tom. Language.”

“Ada. Where is she?”

“Thomas. I’m serio-” She was interrupted by Charlie snatching the photo from where she had set it. He didn’t recognize the mermaid, but he knew right away that it was something from the aquarium.

“Dad! Fishy!”

“What is it Charlie?”

His sister’s eyes widened. That was Tommy’s clue. He got her. She pulled the photo from her nephew’s hands before he could show his father. It earned a hurt look from the little boy, but she was more focused on protecting the secret of her sister-in-law.

“Fine! I won’t tell you what she does or anything, but I can tell you to go to the zoo. Ask for the special show.”

Special show? Zoo? There was nothing special about the zoo. Why would she work in a zoo? Were women even allowed to work there? Tommy didn’t know because originally, he didn’t give a fuck.

“Are you absolutely sure Ada? Not just fuckin’ with me?”

“I’m sure.” she lifted Charlie and handed him to Tommy, “Charlie here’ll know it when he sees it, isn’t that right love?”

“Right!”

. . .

Tommy walked into the zoo, Charlie on his shoulders. It was a bit odd, seeing the Peaky Blinders’ leader walking around with his son in London in the zoo of all places. It also went against Tommy’s safety rule, however just this once he’d allow it to happen, only because he accompanied his son. He didn’t care that it was a family place that had security, it only was okay with Tommy if he was there with Charlie.

When asking about what Ada had instructed him to, they were told to follow someone to the special show. The person was now walking in front of them, rambling on about how amazed they thought him and his son would be.

Charlie had to get off of Tommy’s shoulders, however he did remain in his fathers arms. Tommy’s hip just seemed to be Charlie’s favorite place. Lucky for him, it was one of Tommy’s favorite places for Charlie to be, that way he would never get lost or pulled away from him.

The lights when down, the spotlights pointed at the glass, Tommy took a seat, Charlie sat on his father’s lap. It confused Tommy slightly, how excited his son was. He was so giddy and fidgety. But why? For what reason? It was just a stupid zoo.

Music played, it sounded so soft and calming. A woman appeared on the other side of the glass. Tommy recognized her within the first glance. He caught her eyes and smiled genuinely. Her hair was floating around her, decorated with shells, beads, and other similar stuff. Her face was free of any makeup besides a few gems that were stuck onto her cheeks. Her tail, it looked so magnificent, it looked as if it were real.

How could someone be dressed kind of goofy, but still looks so god damn breathtaking?

She swam around the tank, waving at children and adults. She then swam back up, but fortunately for the crowd, she came back down and continued. How did his wife learn to do this? How did she do it behind his back all this time? Those questions left Tommy’s mind as quickly as they had entered them. He became entranced with his wife’s show.

Charlie whispered into his father’s ear, “Dad? Are you enjoying Miss Y/m/n’s show? I’ve only seen her once, but I can’t wait to tell mummy I’ve seen her again!”

Another smile found it’s way onto Tommy’s face, this one full of amusement for the mermaid and for his son being completely unaware. “Yes Charlie, Y/m/n is pretty good at what she does. I’m sure mummy would love to hear about her.”

Both males attention turned back to the mermaid. A child ran over and put their hand on the glass. Their parents tried to quietly yell at them to come back, but Y/n was quite the opposite. She placed her hand over where the child’s was, smiling when the little one giggled.

She spotted Charlie again and made a beckoning motion with her finger. Y/n swam up to the surface. It was unknown to the audience, but she had asked the man in charge for a favor. She swam back down, smiling sweetly at her viewers.

The lights flicked back on.

“Y/m/n has asked a favor of me! She’d like for all the children, and adults if they’d like, to come up to the front and greet her. She can’t talk to you, but she’d love to do it in her own special way. So, if you’d like to, feel free to walk up here. Just no pushing!” The man walked back out of the room after he had finished announcing what was needed to be announced. 

The kids rushed to the front. Charlie was one of the few who managed to get into Y/n’s line of sight, Tommy behind him. This was because Y/n asked specifically that they could see her and vice versa.

She waved at Charlie, pressing her hand onto the glass. He did the same, and Y/n pressed her other hand for Tommy. The man hesitated, but did as his son had.

After a while, people started to leave. Y/n was still in the tank, having what seemed like interesting conversations with some of the kids. She preformed tricks, spins, flips and others. At some point she had blown bubbles into the water for extra fun. It resulted in her needing to go up for air sooner, but her mind, it was totally worth it.

Finally, it was only Tommy and Charlie in the audience. Y/n pressed both of her hands against the glass, removing one and blowing a kiss to Tommy. Charlie’s eyes widened. Tommy pretended to catch the kiss and blow one back. The interaction only made Charlie’s eyes wider.

“Dad! You can’t kiss Y/m/n, she’s not mum!”

Y/n heard her son, a smile appearing on her face, a matching one on Tommy’s. It wasn’t the time for Charlie to find out that she wasn’t actually a mermaid, it wasn’t time for him to find out that it was actually his mother. They both agreed, words unnecessary, that they’d tell him when he was older. No one was going to spoil his imagination while they were still there.

The manager announced that the show was over and it was time to send Y/m/n back to her home. She nodded and waved to her boys, swimming to the back of the tank, where she would be out of sight, and climbing out.

Tommy and Charlie walked out of the zoo. Tommy felt happy, his heart felt warmer and the smile he was fighting felt bigger than ever. He bought ice cream for him and Charlie, the reasoning being how good of a mood he was in.

Maybe the zoo isn’t so bad after all.

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[calypsoff]

Eleven. Part 3

My niggas weren’t joking when they said we going Texas, I really thought they was joking but no. They came here early in the morning, like we barley slept, and we are going to the airport, I am shocked because I did think it was a joke and we were all joking about it, but they came and we are going, the ticket was cheap anyways, but I am tired as hell “you still look half asleep, you thought we was joking?” TJ hit my arm laughing “I did bro, I didn’t think neither of you would have pulled through. I thought it was a joke when we spoke on it. How come?” I questioned, I need to know what made them actually do it “because I saw how upset you was, look we are your friends Chris. We know you and we understand why, we want to succeed with you and a fresh start will be best for you, and for us so yeah. Let’s fucking do this” Barry cheered behind me “Texas here we come, like my moms was asking. And I said it, I goes mom. It’s time I grow the fuck up, I am going to Texas with the brothers, I want and need a fresh start so yeah, we are doing this” I love these two so much “I hope we blow up the way I want too, I have it in my mind on how we going to blow up and shit” I am excited as fuck “if we being real, like being real about this. Rihanna is going to push you to blow up and we will follow, trust me. Like I am not using her for no clout but it will happen, I seen this shit happen and that is how it will happen. You can’t stop it, we can’t either. But we got you” TJ has a point, but I won’t ever use her for clout because that is not me “oh yeah it’s her birthday, let me send her a morning text” that reminds me, I can imagine she is hungover. She never messaged me at all during the night, I hope she had a good night “you are so whipped!” Barry laughed, tapping on her name on my messages.

Chris: Good morning birthday girl! I do hope yu had a nice night and yur getting somehow spoilt my love for your hangover! Msg me when yu can cause I’m currently going to the airport going Texas, love xx

Pressing send on the message, not too mushy I do hope because I ain’t trying to be a little bitch either. Tapping on Instagram, I am going to post our school picture actually, let me do that. I have noticed some of her fans are following me and have been commenting on that picture I posted, they think I am a fan page, they need to realise that is my girlfriend. Tapping on the plus sign “what you posting?” TJ asked, he is so nosey “just the picture of Robyn and I in school, when we did that project together, we look mad awkward” I chuckled, scrolling up slowly “you not got any private picture of little miss rih rih!?” TJ asked, shaking my head “nah, I don’t do pictures like Robyn does. You know me, I barely use this shit” tapping on the photo and then pressing next, that day was funny as fuck because we argued because she claimed I did nothing, I did nothing because she was kissing me constantly, adding a caption to the post ‘When you have a crush on the foreign exchange student and then you had to do a project with her, then it turns out she is Rihanna. My woman crush every day, Barbadian Cherry! Happy Bday Queen @badgalriri you CAME a long way from hiding your forehead with the bayang lol’ Pressing send on the post and laughing to myself, she has come a long way and I am super proud of her.

The flight is slightly delayed so we are waiting to board the flight “bro” looking over at Barry, smiling at the camera as TJ took a picture, this nigga is big on photos, his timeline is full but I just be posting minimum shit “my phone is going off the hook, like the hell” grabbing my phone from the pocket and seeing the notifications, Rihanna fans are crazy. Tapping on the notifications, I have many comments under this post of her. It’s an unseen photo I guess, they are intrigued by it “what was she like in school? Please answer” I read out to myself, answering the question ‘She was shy but very sweet’ pressing send on the message, I am not going to answer all of that at all. Looking down at the notification from Robyn, she is awake. Tapping on it.

Robyn: I don’t remember approving the club thing?

Chris: Lol but you did!? It’s there

She must have really been drunk; this is hilarious. So she doesn’t remember approving the club thing, thank god she was busy I guess. She is online so I guess she is catching up.

Robyn: WAIT YOU ARE WHERE?! I am calling you NOW

Barry nudged me “let’s go” he pointed; oh they are boarding. Let me message her back quickly.

Chris: Boarding flight, hold off on that.

Locking my phone getting up from the seat, grabbing my backpack and duffle “man, that ticket lady fine as hell. Look at her booty” Barry said in a whisper, looking to where he is looking and I see it, her booty is big “damn” even I had to say that, Barry jumped up and down as we got closer to the woman “y’all childish” pushing them out of the way, let me just get my ticket checked “hey” holding my ticket out “Texas” she said it like she ain’t stood at the gate “yeah, I mean that is the gate you’re at” I pointed “yeah, you got anything going on there? Just for fun, seems like a boys holiday” I chuckled “uh nah, nah. Just a visit, need to get out of Virginia ain’t a good place ma” my phone started to ring in my hand, it’s Robyn calling me “but they make great men here” looking up at her “they generate a lot of idiots you mean” do I answer this or not, maybe not “you want his number or something!?” TJ asked “uh no, I am just making conversation, now I get what you mean about the idiots part” nodding my head smiling “Houston too? If I was your girl I wouldn’t let you do anything” letting out an oh “why, what is in Houston?” she passed my ticket back “plenty of beautiful women” she winked at me “thank you” I grinned, she let out an awww “you have the cutest dimple too, have a nice flight” she is that dumb she ain’t check my passport but whatever, walking off smiling that is funny anyways “oh shit” Robyn is calling me again, she ain’t going to give up. Answering the call “one minute” I said, I am balancing shit here “you flirt with him but just stand there like I am nothing!?” TJ half shouted, shaking my head laughing at him.

Placing my phone against my ear “my bad, you good? Sore head?” I asked “yeah that but I don’t remember agreeing to the club part, why are you going Texas? Where is the discussion!?” she is panicking about me going Texas when I am sure I said “to check out the apartments there with my friends, you knew I am doing that. Just some shit went down and I just said it to them, they all agreed. Last minute thing, also you shouldn’t be thinking about me, it’s your birthday. You ready for part two?” she needs to stop fussing over me and just enjoy herself “right, so you are going Texas, for how long? Now I feel out of the loop about things, or am I not paying attention to you” shaking my head “no, it was last minute. Baby, I don’t want you to worry about that. Enjoy your day, y’all niggas taking ages, but don’t worry about it” walking off “I could do with some snuggles from you, just text me when you land. I am sober to know what I am writing back to you” she sighed out “so tonight I will text you and you will be drunk and say yes” I laughed, that is funny she doesn’t remember approving but yet she did.

I think Robyn is annoyed with herself, but she wrote yes and that is not my fault. She seems to be annoyed anyways, not sure why and if it’s me or just that she is hungover “woah!” I half shouted, bit too loud on the plane, Robyn has commented on the post which has made my post blow up and gain followers, I am not excited but it’s just crazy the power she holds, tapping on her comment to expand it ‘Oh yeah I remember you…… Skinny goofy looking. Tripped up the steps when you showed me around? Ah, yeah I do lol thank you boo!’ she ain’t shit, that happened too. She commented back, that is the point but now I feel like some stupid fan because I got excited over that, it’s just surreal and weird that it’s her, millions of followers, they move like a cult. I need to get used to it and accept that.

#Chrianna FF #Chrianna #Chrianna Fanfiction #Fanfic #Fanfiction

[popculturebuffet]

Jingle Belle: A Very Special Jingle Belle Special or A goofy holiday comic and a long tired rant about the animation industry

Ho ho ho and merry Christmas as we reach the final stretch of Christmas reviews and it’s all Christmas all the time for the rest of the week for obvious reasons. So we’re starting off by wrapping up Jingle Belle for the season with one more comission. While it’s from my usual client, It’s via patreon as for 5 bucks a month you can get a review a month of your choice. But since that hasn’t taken hold just yet, and won’t till next month, he asked to swap it for this month and here we are.  Not much to cover though this is the very comic where Jing hopped publishers from Oni Press to Dark Horse. The whys I genuinely do not know and at the time, I just know it’s weird to talk about Dark Horse these days. Their not dead nor entirely irrelvant, Resident Alien, which I really want to check out as it has a really engaging premise, is getting a tv show that I also want to check out as while i’m not sure if it’ll be good, it’s still Alan Tudyk playing an alien who can barely pass for human and it hilariously shows. Whenever that streams i’m not missing a second of that and we all know it. And Umbrella Academy, started during bigger days for the company, is one of netflix’s hottest shows and one of many shows on my to do list I haven’t gotten to because I procastinate like no one else and as taking an entire month to get to the newest loud house shows to the point another one popped up, it bites me in the ass a lot. Point is their not GONE in relevance.. but at the same time they’ve lost the huge tide of liscences they road in on. Except for the Joss Whedon stuff, Marvel’s pretty much taken EVERYTHING from them via various deals: Star Wars, Conan and now Alien. Their still standing and makes good art books and clearly given Resident Alien good content, they’ve lasted this long their not going anywhere, it’s just really weird to think about. I will however give them huge credit for giving out tons of comics in early quarantine, and being easily the most generous company next to marvel. I.e. one of the few that actually gave out full collections. 

But yeah at the time this was probably a safe move as Dark Horse had a love of one shots and likely a larger budget. Hence why from here on out the stories are in living color, and have a slightly diffrent art style to boot. Granted the character would shift artists but now it’s got a clear more cartoony art style I like a lot better courtsey of Jose Garabaldi. So yeah with christmas on our heels, let’s ring a ding jing, it’s A Very Special Jingle Belle Special. 

We won’t be covering the backup for this one though it is quite good, it’s just not what kev asked or paid for. 

We open on a parade!

While batman foils the joker’s poisioning scheme, Santa rides on a float proudly and   Jing is hanging out on the back grumpy. It’s a great introduction for new readers showing Santa being big and jolly and what you expect while Jing grumps in the back with a “Sheesh, Daddy”. That’s how you establish a character well in only a few panels. IT’s really great is what i’m saying. Some teens pop up but don’t belivie her about being Santa’s daughter and when going to a christmas shop to try and find figures of her, the owner claims he dosen’t.. and well violence insues. You’ve met jing right?  Anyways Jing is understandably a wee bit absolutely livid the world dosen’t know about her. Her parents sure but her? Nope. And it’s easy to see why: She’s the daughter of the world’s most famous man.. but despite all the holiday lore and junk she’s just the part he likes to hide from people.. or that’s how it feels. While he ducks it, she even gives him a nice save fatty it’s clear that even if she brought it up to rile him a bit.. she does feel on some level like he likes to tuck her away and hide her because he’s ashamed and because she’s not perfect. Granted she does act out and stuff, but she’s still his kid and i’ts still gotta sting. Though she has the perfect idea to fix this: A christmas special. Santa suggests just doing good deeds but Jing is right: her idea is better. Mostly because, as cyncial as this is.. more people are going to pay attention to a good holiday special than a celebrity’s kid doing charity and for far longer. A good christmas special just sticks in the brain and sticks with you forever. It’s why Santa Claus is Coming to Town and A Charlie Brown Christmas have lasted decades or why my list of best chirstmas specials is pretty weighty. They just stick with you so while this can’t possibly end well.. her plan is actually a really good one this time. 

So Jing takes her friends off the line to help her animate it, stop motion styles and they remind her of her LAST christmas special. 

I mean I’m a sucker for any refrence to Star Wars Holiday Special. You’d think after several decades of jokes at it’s expense, with tons of youtubers, many of whom are dead to me but that’s besides the point, tackling the thing without it getting stale, that we’d eventually grow tired of mocking it but .. no. It’s a bottomless well of what they were thinking. The only question left is why isn’t it on Disney Plus.. I mean.. you made a second one as an affectionate parody and in lego. Kids are going to know about this now. Just put the thing up. Even edited down or just some clips. You put Rise of Skywalker up there, you’ve proven your threshold for shame when it comes to this franchise is vast. Just person up and do it.  But Jing’s learned her lesson.. stop motion only and to follow the bouncing formula to sucess. So in the special which sadly isn’t all stop motion and is just drawn to resemble the specials, probably for the best but still, Jing and her animal pals are sneaking into a town where christmas was banned! Meeting the chirstmas legion of doom.. well okay that’s what i’m calling them. Burgermeister Budweiser! Bungle the Abominable Snow Monster! Frost Master and Heat BLister! The Frost Fakir.. wait the what?

........

I mean where do I even begin? I know this was during the war on terror, I know that.. but still I expect better from Paul Dini for a crosses the line twice joke than “hey let’s just make bin laden into an ice wizard!”. I mean South Park made fun of him too, but they went all out with a looney tunes homage. Put effort in. And even years after he died the lonely island did this beautiful thing in the film pop star: never stop stoppin, which you should watch seriously watch it it’s underated. 

Point is you can do better and if you don’t have room to do better then just.. don’t. You could’ve put in a t-rex in a top hat and monocle.  That would’ve genuinely been better... because it’s better than everything ever btu that’s besides the point. There’s also one last addition to the rogue’s gallery thank god. 

He hates her too. Now that gag is actually reallyf ucking funny. What’s also funny is how she solves things. By singing a nice and frinedly song about friendship to reform the villians.. or rather lure them over a bridge to get eaten by her orca friend. 

So Jing after showing it to her dad heads to market it with him trying to warn her netoworks haven’t aired this kind of thing in years. But she faces the greatest threat to all of television: network executives, who keep offering advices and basically change the thing all together for stupid reasons and think cartoons should only be for kids despite it wokring in the past. Aka the hells animators STILL go through. I think Paul was projecting just a wee bit with this one. Given again IT HASN’T CHANGED since then, I can’t blame him. Seriously Harvey Beaks was canceled, among MANY ohter nick shows including rise of the tmnt just because it wasn’t an instant hit, Cartoon Network and warner keep trying to make dumbed down remakes of great shows, and Disney, among other networks, is fairly homophobic and while finally allowing some gay on the network this year had to be fought and outright refused it on ducktales for no adquate reason, caring more about monney and the bible belt than doing the right thing. So yeah as you can tell this bit got to me a bit and was hard to read because it. hasn’t. changed. 16 years and not a lot has changed other than more women are getting a chance. And granted the “kids are our only audiencce argument” isn’t as strong and several shows are powered by other demographics it’s still an issue and still the reason several good shows have gotten the boot and why the jeph loeb era of marvel animation was terrible. Because guys like him thought it should JUST be for kids and the lowest common demoninator of htem. You can be clever and be for kids dammit. 

I apologize slightly for that it’s just something that’s been on my mind as shows dwindle and with ducktales gone the standard forbearaers for children’s animation are all pretty fresh faced. It’s just a lot to take in and i’ts been on my mind a lot. 

Back to the actual story the result is a pretty purtrid cutesy special.. Jing reacts how you’d expect, destroying the tapes covertly with a herd of musk ox and destroying the tape. But they find the 70′s special and we end on that which is pretty funny. The only thing I really don’t like here is the ending. The rest of this special is really good: it’s clever , has some good satire and some really funny jokes especially that hook one. The ending just feels a bit weak.. like yes Jing wanted to be noticed but it’s not really an unsympathetic motive and while she does some shady stuff the villians still basically win by airing her terrible holiday special all over again. It’s just not satisfying.  But yeah overall another pretty decent holiday comic with some good jokes. I”ll probably see Jing again next year, and it was fun getting to dip into these comics. THeir not my faviorites, but their still pretty decent and if the complete collection ends up on sale on comixology or you see it in a bookstore and you think it’d be up your ally i’d buy it. Again not my faviorite thing ever, but still enjoyable enough. Coming up this week of holiday cheer: ducks, more ducks, superheroes, and a best of list. 

Until next time: Courage. 

#animation #comics #reviews #jingle belle #paul dini #christmas #santa claus #dark horse comics

[kittycataes]

Tier Ranking “Friends” Characters (Part 1/3)

This is going to be an extremely long post haha

Let’s start at the bottom- 

“Whomst”: is characters that I couldn’t really recognize right away. Like maybe I remember that character’s story arc, but that doesn’t mean I feel any certain way about them. FORGETTABLE. WHOMST? NEXT!

“i hate you”: these are characters I have such negative feels for, they deserve something worse than an F.  -  Starting off with Dr. Geller himself. There’s so much misogyny in this man... if it weren’t for David Schwimmer’s excellent facial expressions and hilarious slapstick comedy, I would’ve made a separate row for him to be exiled forever. However David Schwimmer is a great actor and we stan his acting choices. -  Next is Dr. Greene, Rachel’s dad. I hate men who force their power over others through loud, aggressive, intimidation that reeks with the threat of violence. And this mother fucker does all those things on top of openly ridiculing his daughter.  -  Barry the orthodonist. He’s a snake for cheating on Rachel with Mindy. And he’s a snake squared for then cheating on Mindy with Rachel.  -  Cop character... Whose name I forget. ACAB, you creep. Stop using your access of information as a tool for strong-arming women into dating you. -  Rachel’s sister. She’s just stupid and vain and annoying, and extremely disrespectful.  - That Angry Guy. *See Dr. Greene notes* - Kip. This guy is creepy too... He like stalks Joey and is just overall very weird. - Ben. I love the Sprouse twins. But I did not care for Ben becoming a character on the show.  - Alec Baldwin/Positive Guy. I hate him becuase I think he was a stupid character but I don’t hate him as much as I hate the angry characters for sure, he’s just a dude high on life. - Chandler’s boss. I don’t like that he slaps his employees on the butt. I don’t care if they like it. It’s weird. I wish we could all just hi-five or hug normally 😂

“i wish we saw more of u”: these are characters I thought were really interesting and maybe they were in a few episodes, but they didn’t really get their own story arc with the gang. And while I do like them, there’s nothing spectacular about them.  -  Hot but messy bug Lady. I loved this character and I wish she had an arc with Ross about teaching him how to compromise more and grow together a bit. She was so pretty and funny, I wish they let her stick around. - Rachel’s mom. I loved this lady. I love that she divorced Rachel’s awful dad, and she seems like a fun-loving gal! I wish the best for her. And I wish we got a few more episodes of her, so we could see her living her best single life.

“LIFE CHANGING”: these characters are recurring/one-off characters who really buttered my breadroll. I feel like each of these characters helped shape me in someway, even if it’s just a little! -  Joanna, Rachel’s boss at Bloomingdales. This is the only character from my childhood/adolescence that I remeber being a Boss Lady who was independent, but still flawed and silly and goofy and sexy. This was my first view of what kinky sex could look like and it intrigued me and aroused me terribly. To this day I love office and bondage scenes! -  Susan, Carol’s Lesbian lover and hot-wife extradornaire. When I was younger and still believed Ross was a redeemable character (read: my critical thinking skills hadn’t start yet developing) I didn’t like Susan and her condescending tone. Now, I love her for making fun of Ross in a way that still manages to be respectful to her son’s Father, but points out his obvious prejudice. You could say she puts Ross in his place, and is kind of a ball-buster. I love that attitude and I find her extremely attractive <3  - Kathy, Joey and Chandler’s ex-girlfriend. From the moment I laid eyes on Paget Brewster, I knew I wasn’t 100% straight. I deeply deeply sympathized with Chandler falling in love with her, and the scene where she cuts his hair is so iconic- the actors’ chemistry is palpable!  - Julie, Ross’s ex-girlfriend. I love Julie first and foremost for existing. A pretty, smart, and likeable Asian American girl. I felt she had such strong big-sister energy when I was little, and I liked that even though Rachel didn’t like her (and she kinda knew) it didn’t shake her confidence. She had that difficult convo with such grace and maturity, it ws refreshing to see after so many episodes of immature Ross/Rachel shenanigans. - Janine, Joey’s ex-roommate. Janine was cool and nice, and she was so effortlessly glamorous. I liked that she was a kind character, who never judged Joey or belittled him. And through Joey I felt I was able to have an outlet for my growing realization that I wasn’t straight. - Chandler’s dad, the drag queen. This was one of my first exposures to drag, and I loved how composed/poised Chandler’s dad was even when it was clear his son and ex-wife disproved of her life choices. Also Chandler’s dad was played by a woman and therefore I headcanon her to be trans :3c -  Dr. Richard Burke. Tom Selleck is arguably one of, if not, the most beautiful man in the world. That plus his character was so sweet and silly and loving, and he treated Monica right and respected her relationship with Chandler. And I just loved their story arc, especially when they try to get back together the second time. I LIVE for the YEARNING in that arc. Great performances from Selleck and Cox ❤️ - Paul Stevens, the love machine. God. This character/arc is so stupid haha. I feel like you can tell Friends as a show has been going off the rails and at this point, it’s very clear. Like Ross fucking a student who also happens to be Rachel’s boyfriend’s daughter? Crazy. He’s mainly up here because of the silly mirror dance he does, I just love that. - Pete Becker, Iron-man in training. Before all the UFC stuff made him kinda go nuts, I really liked Pete. I liked how he was successful, impressive, focused, determined, etc. etc. I kinda wanted to be him when I grew up- just a laid-back baller travelling overseas on a whim and following his wildest dream. A more modern look on Pete reveals more problematic issues, but name one Friends character that isn’t problematic haha.

#friends #this is basically a dissertation #pers

[neo-nymph]

NCT NSFW A-Z: Jaehyun

I went to the NeoCity concert in Miami a month ago and now I can't get NCT out of my head. So I present you with this :’)

A - Aftercare

He’d probably just lay next to you for like 5 minutes to catch his breath. He’d wrap his arms under you and pull you into his side watching you with heart eyes and a subtle grin as you pant little breaths. Once he’s mellowed out he’d go all soft boy again, doing small cute things like tying your hair back so you can cool off, wiping you off with a cool towel if things got messy, getting you some water if you want. Then it’s tiny kisses on your forehead and temple, probably cringy small talk about how cute you are when you moan for him and some cuddles.

B – Body Part

On you it’s probably your legs. It might sound weird but he just finds them absolutely gorgeous. Doesn’t matter if you’re tall or short or what you’re doing. Laying on the couch with some shorts, running around in one of his shirts with your legs bare, jumping out of the pool. Anything would drive him insane. He loves pressing kisses to them when things get intimate and running his fingers across them when cuddling.

C – Cum

Not his favorite thing in the world just because of how messy and annoying to clean it is, but kinda loves putting it on you. He might even have a thing for watching you play with it. Jaehyun seems like the type to be really into facials and swallowing. Painting your cute little face with thick, white streams, watching you rub it around between your fingers or seeing the white pool disappear between your lips after fucking your mouth is like the cherry on top of his sundae.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he was into creampies too. He’d push himself inside you as deep as he could when he cums and pulls back to see it slowly seeping out and down your shaking thigh, drawing out a long sigh of satisfaction as he threw his head back and closed his eyes.  

D – Dirty Secret

Probably something like panty sniffing. Idky but I see that happening. He probably takes a pair of yours on tour to wrap around himself when he gets off.

E – Experience

I know Jae has a player attitude about him but I don’t buy it for a second. I don’t think he’s been with a ton of women, but enough that he knows what he’s doing, plus one or two extra tricks. Probably learned a thing or two from porn.

F – Favorite Position

Doggy style with your hands tied behind your back.  

He can be rough and fuck you into the bed, have his hand on your hips to keep you in place, but can still tug you up by your hair when he wants to hear your little noises.  

Hands behind your back for that little power trip.

G – Goofy

On a few occasions, like when he’s drunk. He probably can’t stop himself from cracking a goofy smile. All the way from the door to the bedroom, while making out, taking off clothes, even during the actual sex he’s making stupid jokes, giving you cringy compliments, and can’t seem to take anything either of you says or do seriously.

Also, the first time you guys are intimate together. He wouldn’t want you to be nervous, especially if you were younger/less experienced than him, so he would do his best to make the mood lighter by making jokes or being overly cute. By that I mean lots of small kisses, light taunting, etc. Anything to get you to smile, ignore your nerves and focus on having a good time.

H – Hair

Probably trims so it’s not a full on bush, but doesn’t bother with shaving totally bare. Doesn’t care what you do with yours.

I – Intimacy

Jaehyun’s a total Casanova. He knows how to read your body language and expressions extremely well, so he knows exactly what you want when you want it and how to deliver. He can be romantic and suave, cute and gentle, rough and dominating, whatever you want he’s got it.

I definitely see him being someone that shows his affection often in a lot of tiny ways, but I think his favorite way to show how much he feels for you is by getting intimate. That being said he makes the whole thing about you; your enjoyment and pleasure always come first.  

J – Jack-Off

Probably does a lot on tour. There’s a lot of time between tour stops for him to alone with his thoughts that he can’t seem to control. You’re already on his mind all the time, which didn’t help his struggle to control his desires. He prides himself on his ability to control his sexual urges, but between the lack of physical contact, the sexual dances, and you’re unforgiving voice messages, I see him jacking off pretty often. Like at least every other night, probably late after concerts.

Probably calls you for phone sex if the time zones line-up well enough. If not he probably gets off to some videos he filmed of you guys before you left or videos and voice messages you sent him a while back.

K - Kink

Maybe a power kink.  

Nothing huge, but he loves the dominating feeling that runs through him when he looks down and see’s you laying there under him, shaking vaguely, mind completely clouded in a fucked out daze as you fully submit to him. It sends him on this weird power trip and fills him with a sense of pride.

Maybe an innocence kink too.  

I only really see this happening if he’s with an inexperienced partner who’s still kinda hesitant and moves with uncertainty. He’d like guiding them and find it hot that he’d get to “train” them to do things exactly as he wanted. Looking at you move to please him with glossy baby doll eyes, a little bend in your brow as you questioned if you were doing it right would drive him mad.

L - Limits

He’s open to trying most things, but nothing super wild or extreme. He’s just past the line of Vanilla tbh.

M – Motivation (Turn-On)

When you walk around with nothing but his shirt on. It makes you look so cute to him. He likes knowing your completely him, and this is the perfect way to remind him and rile him up at the same time. Bonus points if you bend over and put everything on display for him.

N – NO (Turn-Off)

Feet.  

Don’t see much appeal past you pressing your feet against him through his pants as a tease

O – Oral

Giving: G  E  N  E  R  O  U  S. He could eat you out for hours if you let him. A classic lay on his stomach wraps his arms around your thighs kinda guy. You can try squirming all you want but he’s not letting you go anywhere. Likes when you pull on his hair. Finds it cute when you try to pull him or push yourself closer to his mouth. Lots of sucking and rolling your clit with his tongue. If he thinks you’re especially deserving he’ll use his fingers too, rough and fast just as you like it.  He’s not stopping until you cum at least twice.

Receiving: Has a decent amount of self-control, so unless he’s tied down or frustrated he won’t be very fidgety or vocal, probably just a lot of harsh breaths and low grunts. He’s naturally a dom, so you can expect one hand holding your hair into a ponytail controlling your movements. He’ll probably slump back casually in whatever seat he’s in, mouth parted lightly with small breaths escaping as he stares at you with eyes blown wide from desire. Likes fast and messy blowjobs when he’s angry or frustrated. Loves the feeling of your tight throat swallowing around his cock. Other times you can move whatever pace you want, just don’t be surprised if he starts fucking your throat by the end. He likes to hear you gag.

P – Place

He’ll fuck you anywhere in the house. On the couch, in the shower, the kitchen, on the patio. He’d be especially fond of eating you out while you sit on the island in the kitchen. Same goes for hotels and the tour bus. He’s not one for people watching, but the second you’re alone, he’ll take you on any surface he can.

Q – Quickie

I can only see these happening once in a blue moon because he likes to drag things out and take his time. Even if he randomly gets in the mood in public he’ll hold off until the event is done or find some excuse for you guys to get home. You can always expect him to be exceptionally rougher and faster than you’re used to. The pressure in his groin had him acting without logic, pulling apart your clothes, barely getting them off your body before raw dogging you against the door.  

R – Risk

Meh. Like I said before, he’s just past the line of vanilla. Risky antics aren’t typically apart of your sex life, so I wouldn’t expect anything crazy like fucking in public. Maybe he’ll whip out vibrating panties. He may decide to tease you under the table at a business dinner one night, shoving his hands down your panties. But only for a few minutes before he makes some lame excuse and takes you home.  

S – Stamina

Could probably last like 3 rounds

T – Toys

Probably uses handcuffs from time to time

U – Unfair

Like I said before, his main priority is making sure he can please you as much as possible. He probably wouldn’t go crazy with teasing. Likely just enough to make you beg him to fuck you, like rubbing you through your panties with his hand around your throat while he’s still fully clothed.

He hates being teased. The only way you’ll get away with teasing him is if he’s tied down to a chair. Good luck dealing with him after tho

V – Volume

Not super loud himself. Moans often but not loud enough for the neighbors to hear. Probably audible if someone passes by the room or the walls are thin. Grunts and groans loudest and deepest when he cums or when you deepthroat him. Throws in some dirty whisper into your ear here and there.  

Likes for you to be loud though. Especially when he’s gotten jealous; hearing you scream his name gives him a real ego boost, particularly when he walks out between rounds and sees the members in the living room pretending they didn’t hear anything

W - Wild Card [Author’s Choice] (this one ain't so nsfw sorry lol)

I cannot stress enough how much this man loves you. You’re like a little angel to him. It’s pretty obvious that he’s a confident guy, but sometimes he gets worried that he’s not deserving of you, for reasons other than looks. That’s why he always spoils you so much, sexually and not. He hopes if he showers you enough with his love and gives you everything he believes you deserve, you’ll constantly be reminded about how much you love him and you won’t want to leave.

X - X-Ray [Dick Size]

Longer than most but not huge. I’d say 7 inches long and generously thick. You’re gonna feel the stretch every time honey.

Y – Yearning [Sex Drive]

When he’s home, not exceedingly high. You probably have sex like 3 or 4 times a week. When he’s sex-deprived on tour tho, he’s calling you like every other night to help him out.

Z – Zzz [After Sex]

I mentioned this before at the beginning, he probably needs like 5 minutes to catch his breath and he’s good. After he tends to you and you guys get all cuddly, he’ll probably fall asleep in like 30 mins to a 1 hr

#nct #nct127 #nct u #nct smut #nct u smut #nct127 smut #jaehyun #jaehyun smut #neosmutcollective

[sunnyartsstudio]

The Langoliers review: SPOILERS

So, I finally just finished reading The Langoliers by Stephen King and, wow. I actually have a lot more to say about it than I expected to, so lets get to it. 

I’ll start by saying that literally the only reason that I read another King novel is that I discovered we had a copy of it in the downstairs bathroom and I really wanted to know if all the stupid stuff from the mini series is in the book as well. Spoilers: Yes. Yes, they are. 

But I’ll start with what I thought was good about the book before I tear into what’s bad. First, despite its ridiculously silly payoff, the book has a great concept. Waking up on an airplane to find that almost all the other passengers are gone including the pilots is genuinely unsettling. It’s truly Twilight Zone-esque - in fact, the book does reference The Twilight Zone - and it does make you want to know where everything is going - even though where it’s going is disappointing. Second, most of the characters were thoroughly enjoyable. Most of them actually felt developed and I genuinely cared about what they were going through. Toomy especially is so delightfully over the top in both the book and the film that you can’t help but be invested in everything he does, and why he is this way is surprisingly well written. Usually, characters are King’s weak point for me, since he tends to write them flat. But here, they were definitely more interesting and realized. Third, between the concept and the characters - and reasons that King didn’t intend that I’ll get to in a moment - I found this book to be far more entertaining than I did The Shining. The Shining was so long and drawn out, despite focusing on only three main characters and one setting, that I found it incredibly tedious and I have no reservations saying I flat out hated it. Here, the book is shorter and has a broader cast with more than one setting, so things actually happen and the plot moves along. It isn’t without its flaws though, so - 

The bad. This book has so much stupid stuff in it I don’t know where to start. I guess I’ll start with the mini series’ famously laughable dialogue - which is almost all verbatim from the book. Yes, SCARING THE LITTLE GIRL! is not only word for word, but it is literally written the way Balky delivers it. Dinah does describe what we’re supposed to find frightening as sounding “a little like Rice Krispies after you pour in the milk” and does call it a terrible cereal noise. Oh, and who can forget the glorious “Are we the new people?”? The book even throws in - in the middle of a tense scene of trying to refuel before the langoliers show up - the stellar line “Don’t fart”. But the stupidity doesn’t end there. Albert not only knocks Toomy out with a violin case - he knocks him out with a toaster. Why? I don’t know. It’s just sort of there. Albert is given a knife and he literally rejects it in favor of wielding a toaster in a tablecloth. I can’t.....*laughing*....it’s so stupid.... Absent from the mini series are the ridiculous similes King uses that made this book read like a Mike Hammer novel from time to time. This REALLY doesn’t help when the titular langoliers show up. Yeah, I know the CGI from the mini series gets a lot of flack - and deservedly - but having now read the book, even the most amazing CGI wouldn’t have made it any better. The Langoliers just sound - silly. They’re constantly described as balls, a word that does not strike terror in one’s heart on its own, and it isn’t helped by Brian visualizing them as the bouncing ball over the lyrics of a movie singalong. How am I supposed to find that scary or even intimidating or threatening or mildly unsettling?? Yeah, it’s just as goofy as it is in the mini series. On top of that, nothing really makes any sense. It’s constantly emphasized that “stuff” from the people that disappeared was left behind, but their clothes weren’t and it’s never explained. But nothing makes less sense than Dinah. Yep, the return of the King trope PSYCHIC CHILD. This one is so weird though because with the exception of one tiny moment on the plane, Dinah does nothing remotely psychic until towards the end. Even then, this girl has apparently been so powerful the whole time that she can astral project herself to Toomy, see through his eyes and conjure a massive hallucination that includes showing him bankers he would recognize that she’s never seen, yet, not only did she somehow not use this amazing power to save herself and Gaffney from getting stabbed, but - she could have solved everyone’s Toomy problem and saved hers and Gaffney’s and even Toomy’s lives if she had just done this to begin with! But hey, at least she does something (after spending most of her time screaming and crying). That’s more than I can say for the rest of the female cast. Yeah, King strikes again with his spectacular writing of women. So, besides Dinah, we get Bethany and Laurel. At least Bethany is a decent character, but she does absolutely nothing but cry, scream and serve as Albert’s prize at the end. Then there’s Laurel. I hate Laurel. I hate her so much. Laurel also does basically nothing but cry and scream. The strongest thing she does is bite her tongue to keep herself from fainting so she can help Nick apply first aid to Dinah after she’s been stabbed. You know what else she does during that scene? She thinks about touching Nick’s hair. It’s okay, though, she mentally yells at herself for it. Not that that stops her from still doing it. Hell, the only reason she’s interested in Nick is that she wants a romantic adventure - which is the only reason she was flying to Boston in the first place. Relatable, m’right? The book treats this like it’s incredible build up so that when Nick sacrifices himself we feel all heartbroken over them - but Laurel doesn’t even think about Nick until well towards the end of the book and I feel nothing for their romance. I also love how when Nick volunteers to sacrifice himself and Laurel is upset, she volunteers Bob and Rudy first, THEN volunteers herself. God, she’s awful. But overall, she does nothing. Bethany does nothing. Brian flies and fuels the plane. Nick is constantly helping and provides first aid for Dinah and takes charge when the others can’t. Bob keeps figuring out what’s going on (though on some really flimsy reasoning that you can just add to this book’s list of stupid that it expects you to accept). Even Albert - a 17 year old kid - comes up with solutions to serious problems and fights Toomy and knocks him out - twice. Yeah, Gaffney and Rudy don’t really do anything either, but we still have four men doing everything to two women doing nothing but screaming and crying. It’s pretty pitiful. 

Overall, I would suggest this book for being entertainingly bad. It’s certainly more entertaining than The Shining and a lot less tedious. But I wouldn’t call this a good book. A fun book, but not a good one. That’s still praise coming from me, considering this is King we’re talking about. 

#the langoliers #stephen king #horror books #sci fi books #SCARING THE LITTLE GIRL

[got2ghost-archive]

ten ships and why!! I was tagged by @alienfuckeronmain AHH THANK U I LOVE TALKING ABT THIS SHIT

Half of my list is childhood best friends to lovers let's GOOOO

1. drarry

*deep shuddering inhale* I have thought abt draco and harry being foils before I even reached double digits. they could have saved each other and had so much potential to even just be FRIENDS!! if j*r wasn't like that, then she could have actually made a meaningful impact on draco early on. abt how you don't have to be your parents! and how to heal!! anyway I love them any way shape or form. I love reading dark gritty fucked up stories about them just as much as I love reading domestic silly fluffy stuff for them. draco would NOT put up with harry's bullshit and harry would NOT go easy on draco either but they're ultimately just two lonely boys who grew up in fucked up households who have much more in common than they realize!!! LIKE!!

2. wangxian

yes they're a new one but God their love extends so deeply. yes they r basically Chinese fantasy Kirk/spock!!

lan zhan is so in love w wei ying and is so devoted and everything he does is action or acts of service which js very much my love language!! but he also feels a deep sense of obligation to the rules and codes he's learned?? and wei ying loves lan zhan but it takes him a long time to accept it bc he DOESNT BELIEVE HE IS DESERVIG OF LOVE despite being so GOOD. AND THEY NEVER TALK TO EACH OTHER OR COMMUNICATE THEY WAY THEY SHOULD!!!! AND HE DIES and LAN ZHAN IS JUST. REPENTENT FOR 16 YEARS AND RAISES HIS SON AND IS SO INCREDIBLY SAD AND MISERABLE BUT THEN WWX comes BACK TO LIFE and they get to try again AND THEY GET TO BE HAPPY???? ANYWAY ACTS OF DEVOTION I!!!!

3. soriku

I've genuinely thought abt them since I was TEN when the first kingdom hearts game came out but it didn't solidify until KH2 came out when sora has to search for riku the entire game and when he finally does RIKU DOESNT EVEN LOOK LIKE HIMSELF BUT SORA STILL RECOGNIZES HIM ANYWAY AND HOLDS HIS HAND AND CRIES. THAT SHIT MADE ME GAY! I had never witnessed such tenderness and they are so inherently queer and subtle that it's one of the first stories I ever saw myself in. on top of that I also read that doujinshi that I consider Canon and it's so!! childhood best friends! with big complicated feelings of jealousy and betrayal and possessiveness when you start to grow apart from the person you care about the most!! and in game they're slowly... circling to become end game? the entire story revolves around them saving each other and RIKU LITERALLY CALLING SORA HIS MOST PRECIOUS PERSON? AHHHHHH

4. sterek

I will never forgive what the show did but the Fandom and the writing from that fandom is incredibly important to me. they're like my comfort pairing and I just love that Derek is sad and grumpy but it's because he's fucked up and needs to go to therapy and stiles is also kind of fucked up but happier and he's smart and beautiful and!!! they were obviously attracted to each other!! almost all of their stories involve CONSENT or Derek hale getting better slowly. they mean a lot to me bc my mom was dying while I clung to this fandom and wrote my grief fic and I always associate them with that time in my life. I could and did read like 30 stories abt Derek doing laundry and buying wooden spoons and trying to move on and be a healthier happier person.

5. taagnus

rarely have rare pairs but this is one of them and!!! look. I didn't ship them until the last two arcs of the show revealed that instead of only knowing each other for a few years and being idiots they in fact knew each other for 100 years+ and DIED A LOT together and saved each other. BUT COULDN'T REMEMBER IT YET THEY STILL KIND OF... FALL IN LOVE AGAIN? they balance each other so much. magnus is magnus - brave and GOOD. taako is so closed off, careful abt trusting people so when he acted on gut instinct to LITERALLY THROW HIS SOUL OUT OF HIS BODY TO SAVE MAGNUS I was hooked. I know that taako ends up w kravitz but bc we didn't get to see Krav much I couldn't grow attached to him? I love the thought of first love and exploring that - how it never goes away, really but you can still love other people!! plus! I love writing them as lesbians! they're butch/femme to me!

6. ruth/debbie

UGH. UGH!!!!! they're so obsessed with each other and it's so filled with repression and anger and betrayal thst has nothing to do with Ruth fucking her husband and everything to do with the trust of their friendship. it's such a complicated weird fucked up intense 'friendship' that I love to see and like!! sometimes my friendships w women FELT like that. the times I have felt the most hurt is when I lose a friend bc a part of me is in love w them in some way!! Ruth and Debbie are just. in love. though. and Ruth is never gonna admit it and she's gonna... be in a comp het relationship even tho she thinks Debbie is smart and sexy and she idolizes her GOD.

7. gene/finny

YES MOST OF MY PAIRINGS ARE SAD WHAT OF IT? I read this book as a sophomore in hs and I simply could not stop thinking abt how gay and in love they were. FIRST OF ALL THE metaphors!!!!!! gene as winter and finny as summer!! and how codependent and weird they were even tho finny KNEW gene broke his leg. he didn't want to believe it bc he WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM. THEY WENT ON A DATE TO THE BEACH? THE PINK SHIRT? finny being the embodiment of childhood innocence and Gene literally breaking that? and killing it? once again I just love reading abt how complex jealousy is and where it comes from and also REPRESSION!!!

8. forrden

yes I'm including my own OC with @dosalesbian

I wrote abt them for FOUR YEARS. they're childhood best friends who fall in love and marry and are in love no matter what universe and are so soft and tender and healing. forrest goes thru a lot of gender exploration and aiden is just the partner I want to be!! he's goofy and LOVES HER SO MUCH AND SUPPORTS HER SO MUCH GOD!!!!

9. kuroken

they r a new one and yes once again childhood best friends but in a FUN NEW WAY that I want to explore. kenma is like disinterested in most things except gaming and whatever kuroo wants to do and has a hard time socializing bc he's SHY and is too observant! and kuroo is big and dumb and passionate but was also a stupid anxious child. I think they're those friends who are dating but don't even know they're dating or their relationship is so indescribable to themselves and others that it's hard to take any step forward or backward bc theyre SO codependent and yes. I want to explore that and read abt them more.

10. don't look at me yes im putting ryden on here

THEY WERE IN LOVE BUT COULDNT ADMIT IT AND THEN BRENDON WROTE 3 BREAKUP ALBUMS ABT RYAN? AND RYAN RELEASED A SONG THE SAME WEEK BRENDON GOT MARRIED? they're never gonna be friends again bc they can't just be friends

okay!! I tag @scottspack @dosalesbian @pattern-pals hehe

#about me

[opes-magnas]

The Funeral

How would it be, if you could see your funeral unfold?

I can’t believe they let the casket be open! Gosh!

I can’t look at myself that way, of course no one wants to look at themselves devoid of life and rotting away but it was much more harder for me to be another entity (which I didn’t believe to exist) and just stand there letting my body lay there when I desperately want to wiggle into it, like a cosy blanket that covers your toes when it’s cold but sadly that’s what death means, its finality only hits you only after it scoops up your soul, from the tiny little nest in your body and sets it free, to float in the air, to become one with the soil, to flow like water, to burn like fire or attain peace if that’s what you were destined to for, be one with the most singular core of the universe, which I am yet to know because I’m still here.

With death also comes revelation of secrets which were hidden in plain sight that everyone looked for but never actually desired it or wanted it only for the sake of knowing it. It’s like that tiny voice inside your head which speaks to you and you know everyone also experiences the same thing but no one really speaks about it or wants to prove it.

Wow! death did make me philosophical which I never was, but now I’m not Scarlett Hamilton I’m just a lost soul detached from its anchor, I don’t even know why I’m here, but the weird part is I can still feel strong emotions towards all the people I loved or even hated, I can see my daughter crying a river out, those salty tears roll down like beads stringing along a long pearl necklace I once wore.

Yup, now it’s just getting started, maybe I have willed myself so hardly too able to witness the grandeur of the world just once last time before I go wherever I’m supposed to. So my metaphorical body’s shaking at the thought of being a spectator to my own funeral.

The service started and I was standing on top an empty chair in the last row, I saw my husband standing near the casket with my four other brothers. He’s still as handsome as the first time I laid my eyes on him, I still can’t believe that I landed him, he is like way out of my league.

Those deep blueish green eyes, which appear like the sea bed whenever sunlight hits on it at very specific angles and brings out this certain depth, a mystery, which I would try to unravel every time I gazed into them and one day while eating French toast in a small Parisian cafe I made a rather curious analogy to this one puzzle that I just couldn’t get right, a continuous clockwork ticking and every second it’s different and that can never be brought back and a mystical creature might pop out any moment and he laughed his wide goofy grin which made his dimples appear distinctly. His platinum blonde hair slightly below his ears almost caressing them lightly, I can still remember the way I used to run my fingers through it like it just happened this morning, oh! It did. I’m happy that was the last thing I did before you know, I died. The rippling of muscles can still be seen underneath that black suit he’s wearing, which I picked out for him to wear to the his big Oscar after party. Everything just feels so real yet so far away, I’m right here, but I’m a world away from him. I guess I felt this way when we had a big fight about well I don’t remember what and honestly it was stupid but we stopped talking and when I was sitting right next to him, I felt miles and miles away from him. It was the worst.

I’m longing to have another moment with him, just to tell him that I’ve loved him until my very last breath, literally, that no one else could ever have made more of an impact on my life other than him, and I just have so many things to do.

Funny, now I want to do so many things when I’ve wished to die like a thousand times or probably even tried to. But now since I’m really dead all I want to do is live another moment.

Shaking off the deathly feeling, yeah now I’m definitely in the second stage of grieving, “the acceptance”.

The service started with the father saying some kind words about how I always was such a big donator to the church funds, honestly I did it because I didn’t know what to do with the money I had, it might come of snobbish but that was the truth. Now I’m being applauded for an act I did, not in the intention everyone believes it was done.

Now, I wish was more spiritual than I was, to actually believe there is something out of reach which I thought wasn’t possible cos the motto I always believed in was, ‘There are no boundaries to the knowledge you can unearth. Science can become quite lonely, even when you’re the most alone, if you could just believe you have one other person with you, God, it would be so splendiferous just to never be alone.

Focus, you insipient fool, focus! these are your last moments on this beautiful world, you’ll probably be eternally damned to the meadows of asphodel to have time to ponder upon the tiny nuances of life, right now take in as much as you can, you probably won’t remember Darcy, Ophelia, Zoheth or for that matter Zeke when you leave.

Then, my best friend walked up to the podium, I could the rivers of mascara gushing down, unrestrained, like the mighty rivers, sparing no one who stood in the way, right now the only things that stood in the way were tiny mountains of acne, pimples which were barely visible, but as she always said I was omnipercepient, but that was arrogant on my behalf to actually believe it deep down.

Euphemia, ‘the well-spoken off’, ‘the one who martyred for what she believed in’, is actually what her name means, and I was always awed like how her parents could have even the slightest clue that she would one day live up to the glory that her name had already bestowed on her.

Somebody, in some late night show once asked me to describe Euphemia as a scent. I sat baffled for a minute, because I thought of her as this limitless person who couldn’t be bound by timidity of just words but I did try my best.

I distinctly remember the first time all of my green roses (that’s something I call my gang as, I identified each of them with these characters from Oscar Wilde’s books the first time I met them, and I do hope someone gets this reference for once)

We went hiking to the grand canyon, we climbed uphill all day long soaked with perspiration, but when we reached the peak, I had to remind myself to breathe as I felt so awed by nature, like those slightly purple pink rock mountains rising majestically as in a challenge to the sky, splitting the clouds into an shards of glass when they’re broken, but reflecting the dazzling light in all its glory all across, in every colour I could ever imagine about, huge trees appeared like chess pawns moved here and there by the will of these cordilleras, I just relished every moment I saw this marvellous creation.

Then at night we lit this bonfire, which emanated a strange crackling and pungent smell at first but it soon felt so familiar. Warm and fuzzy that I felt I’ve been discerning this forever. That is how I think Euphemia would be if I could ever convert her essence into a scent.

She pursued her full lips, biting the inside of her cheek, knotting her overly expressive eyebrows into this broken bridge, contracting her face into a lemon being squeezed out of its limit, I could feel the turmoil she was in just by glancing at her. She gripped the mic with her freshly manicured nails and began to speak in a tone I’ve heard her use only a few times.

“Scar, I wish you were here with me…. umm I don’t know what you would want me to say though we talked about every single thing on earth, being the twisted sisters 2.0, but we weren’t dark to begin with.

As you always said, with every end there is a new beginning, as today marks the end of your mortal life here, I so want to reminisce the beginning we had which some might say is odd but we were never normal to begin with.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

I was walking towards me to be dorm, on broken cobblestones, just thinking of how small electrons can be and walked up the creaky wooden stairs and reached ROOM 27 , and I knocked the door and heard a ‘come in’ and dragged my two very huge suitcases in to see her standing there.

She scuffled over in her very high heels thumping methodically against the floor and when I was just about to measure its oscillation period with my pulse rate, she hugged me.

I’m not hugger nor am I a “people person”, so I responded with an awkward side hug and my face buried in her brown curls cascading down to her shoulders.

You must be Scarlet, the genius whiz kid! Hi, I’m Euphemia Clarke, I’m an undergrad in English lit, women studies and philosophy. So?

Umm… I’m scarlet Hamilton, I’m a grad in theoretical and quantum physics and English lit.

But, your of my age, how could you be a grad student? Yeah, I forgot momentarily that I’m in the presence of the next greatest scientist here, ooh we’ll be buddies in English lit. But why English lit? It seems like an odd choice for a science person to be interested in... And your also doing a double degree... what can’t you do! I must bagged the lottery in roommates cos you’re just a dream to be with and ooh nice dress huh... Zara 2018...chic, edgy and makes a statement... thank God! You have a nice taste, I couldn’t possibly live with a horrible makeover gone wrong nincompoop, I would just die a thousand deaths before that.

Uhhh...

Yeah?

Um... I should get settled in, then I might have to go and take a tour of the library, it’s pretty huge and also do some other admin stuff, so I guess I’ll see then.

Shut up, I’m going to help, it literally took an army for my room to be done, I came like 2 days early just to do some painting work, what colour do you like? We could...

My head kept spinning and jumping on ropes just to catch up with her, all I could hear was an echo of words and she did a graceful swirl and smiled at me, “we’re going to be just fine.”

I had the chance to then observe her like I did everyone, a “perfect body” some magazines would say, slender, about 5’2, a brunette with deep green eyes , her eyebrows deserved an award for all the jumps, somersaults, backbends they did and her smile made me feel like I was tasting honey on a warm summer afternoon at centennial park.

I certainly can’t be friends with her, she’s one of the high and mighty sorority girls who went on a shopping spree to Dior, Chanel and Marc Jacobs and spent like $500,000 dollars buying a pair of fur coats and heels and wanted to become a socialite fluttering at parties being ‘the pretty one’ and marry some rich guy and came to colleges like Yale only cos ‘daddy’ paid whoever was looking at her essays to look the other way.

God! Am I judgmental?

(Some months of awkward conversations later)

We were walking to English lit together and she was strutting like a Ralph Lauren model on a runway in ridiculously high heels and just took my hand in hers and gave it a squeeze without even looking at me and held the door open.

Today we were discussing about ‘Pride and Prejudice’ and because I’ve almost read the book a hundred times I was very excited to what kind of discussion we were going to have, I have looked at the book from my perspective which is can vary from a hopeless romantic to a strong feminist depending on what kind of mood I’m in, I want to see the book how a person who doesn’t believe in love, feminism, freedom sees it, obviously I will take it offensively but my curiosity multiplies by the second.

She and I spilt as we walked into the class, she went towards the back.

I found my seat in the middle of the amphitheater like classroom, which I think was chosen for English literature class specifically just to add that glamour, majesty and that extra pinch of drama that old English prose gives off. Clever.

Ms. Dalloway started reading the book, which opens with an immortal statement, “It is truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of good fortune must in want of a good wife.” Why don’t we kick the class of by a discussion on this iconic statement? Anyone up for the challenge?

Aah. Scarlet, not you again, I sincerely hope the next time you will allow the other nitwits here to use the fragments of their brains left. But, go on, you certainly are the person to speak about this book.

I think what that sentence means in plain English is that any man who is rich and handsome wants a trophy wife just to look at him as if he’s the greatest and adore him like a silly schoolgirl and basically smother and mother him and nurse his big giant ego.

I think this sentence is truly aptly describes how the society was and is, women are always reduced to matter of objects traded between men and valued only for looking pretty and being a social butterfly and the main goal in their life is to be a human incubators or rather baby machines. On a more serious and highly unfair note of beauty standards, however ugly the man is, he wanted a small waisted, thin, fair maiden from a “good family”. I mean women almost killed themselves trying to please men, wearing those corsets as tight their lungs could probably burst, lead powder as kohl and what not, just so men could feel valued, I don’t know even they even knew what self-respect meant. Jane Austen is a genius, she almost gave a jist of her novel in the very first sentence.

I don’t think she is the right person to speak about this book, Ms. Dalloway, she has only the view of a feminist, when one talks about a book, and it must be from an unbiased view.

All heads turned towards who spoke, even I was surprised that Euphemia could even think about anything other than her Manolo Blanik pink lacy heels she bought yesterday.

I think this story is totally unrelatable, yes I am a woman but it didn’t make it any easier for me to relate to it, I mean like everyone sees Miss Bennet as a prime example of Feminism, strength and how women can make their own way and stand by the things they believe in. But, she is as shallow, narrow as the other women and a big bully. She makes fun of Mr.Bingley because he is isn’t tall, handsome when she herself believes that women must not be judged for their external beauty. Men and women having equal opportunities, isn’t that what feminism means, and isn’t she being a huge hypocrite when she is going against the very ideals she believes in? She also mocks Caroline, who calls her family out on their shit. So, that makes her exactly the same as the others.

That was when I knew she would be my best friend.

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“Yeah and that’s how I knew she would be my best friend, because she stood by what she believed in, actually it is funny my name means the saint who married for what she believed in and her name means wealth and both of us embodied what each other meant and then had an epiphany that we could be what we were meant to be since we were born by looking at each other.”

I will be eternally grateful to Scarlet for making me more than a pretty girl, a woman who was a force of nature, who couldn’t be stopped by these insipid little men. I love you my dear, I always have. The only regret I have is I didn’t say it as often as I wished to. I love you, you have left an everlasting scar on my heart.”

Oh, Mia, I know, I know…

I saw her walk down the aisle and I remembered the day I walked her down the aisle to her husband and she looked at me and told, “You have left an everlasting scar on my heart.”

She looked at Zeke and nodded and went and sat next to Jake who kissed her cheek ever so tenderly and squeezed her shoulders just like I used to and she broke.

Many others spoke, like my mum, whose sentences weren’t distinguishable because of her crying and how God should have taken her instead, and it is so terrible to live after your child had died and looking at my face which was full and pink now shrivelled and almost passed out just to be caught by Papa, who couldn’t look her in the eye.

Mama always loved me dearly, I was the only girl out of 4 boys who were tough, burly and never asked for a kiss and a hug before running off to school, chatted with her late in the night explaining how she saw the world from her tiny green emeralds for her eyes and asked her flaming red hair to be combed into braids and always was willing to hear family gossip.

Well, papa wasn’t as warm and gooey as mum but he loved me , I knew it when he was hard on me to study better even when I got straight A’s and had skipped grades but didn’t give my brothers a twat when they scored less than adequate. He believed in me, which is more than I ever could ask for.

Maybe my cold and hard side was because of him, I was very analytical and logical and never let my emotions interfere with my decisions except when I said yes to my husband.

I never said this thought out loud, not even thought about it to myself, I was never a warm and gooey person who went around telling people how much I loved them, so it comes as quite a shock to me that I could even think of it. Maybe death brings finality to little things that were left out.

Saying the word still gives me chills, which reminds me again that we are never ready for things unless forced upon us. Whoever thinks they are ‘ready’ for life, they mostly never are, I never was.

My children came up, Darcy held Ophelia and Zoh like a fierce lioness protecting her cubs, I knew I raised her right, she took the mic and started speaking so confidently, she turned her steel grey eyes and looked right at me, a sharp light baring through my soul, almost as if she could see me and nodded her head right at me.

“Sorry, mum I haven’t shed a tear for you, even though the cessation of this hasn’t quite hit me yet, but I could see the differences already, nobody told if this black dress was appropriate or if my looked okay and Ophy and Zoh relied on me completely. I am sorry, but I know you never expected me to cry, but I think I know well enough to tell you expected me to be great. I still remember you whispering in my ear, before I entered Harvard, “Be Great or Nothing”, and those words were repeated by me in the break of dawn every day. You were what I wanted to be, independent, brave, most of all I was grateful to God to be blessed with the lottery in genetics. So, ma, that’s what I’m going to be, great.”

I saw the way her eyes sparkled with fear, fierceness almost as if her heart had broken into a million pieces yet she was holding it together not for the sake of putting on a show, but for herself. All I could do was smile, a huge grin actually, all the time I wanted them to be ordinary people, but she proved me wrong, greatness runs inn our blood.

Zoh and Ophelia, my little babies, I wasn’t worried about them either, they did cry though but chanted this one sentence together, “ Vincit qui se vincit .” and the three of them bowed before my casket, touched my feet, an intense bolt and I could hear them whisper together, non-duco ,duco.

An intense bolt of lightning shot through me, I looked at my arms they became almost transparent now. I could feel myself fading away, being sucked into but, I was ready to go before hearing his voice one last time.

My children, I was proud of myself to have raised them, but I looked at the sky above me and thanked the Gods for giving such Brave and strong humans into me. Thank you, thank you.

I was so lost in the maternal glory and satisfaction, I didn’t notice Zeke passing out on the podium before he even uttered a word.

He slowly swayed down, his eyelids shutting down on his beliquent violet eyes gleaming with distress and grief, his hands went upwards in a dramatic manner and his knees buckled down and landed with a thud on the floor, out of habit his eyes frantically searched the room for me before giving out a guttural scream in my name.

Suddenly, everything moved so slowly, people sauntered about as glaze leisurely dripped of a cake, none could hear me screaming, scratching and pushing past everyone to hold him.

The next thing I remember is sitting in a rushing ambulance moving like those cars in video games, twishing and twashing around other vehicles but never actually touching them. I could feel his heartbeat getting fainter and fainter and his hand grappling to my side. I put all the strength I had left in me to push his intense desire to be with me.

The doctors were speaking in a feverish pitch and everyone was so focused on saving him, my reality jilted and I was back in the Lake District National Park, the glacial ribbon like water was still the same, where the sky kissed the tip of peak Windermere who was stretching into the sky, looking for lost love, the purple pink flowers scattered around, the manifestation of temptation, no one resisted in plucking them out ,, the reflection trees into the almost ice like water gleamed like crystals, miles and miles of grass stretching infinitely and in it were a thousand insects, chirping and hooting and going by their lives not knowing the amount of tragedy that has befallen the world and a plaid picnic spread over with all my favourites which included my person.

I remember this day, the day of my betrothal to my beloved.

Ezekiel, the same serene look on his face, his mouth puckered into a smile that tugged at his dimples, his platinum hair swaying the wind and his hands beckoning me towards, as much as I wanted to go, I stood rooted where I was. Even if I moved an inch, I somehow became aware of the repercussions, the loss of his life, the more intense his desire to stay with me, the less will he has to live.

Dr.Burke once said, “With all medical realities being equal, why does one person live and another die? I believe there is a mind, body and spirit connection.”, if Zeke doesn’t want to live, no matter how much the odds that favour him, his body will defy everything to be with, me.

Our love, was the kind of love that came around once in a lifetime, the pure love which doesn’t expect anything in return but just loves not because of the looks but because of the thoughts, the feelings and mostly the heart. I loved Zeke with every inch of my body, every cell in my being and it tears my heart to leave him alone, but I won’t be selfish today. He still has a lot left to do, his time hasn’t come yet, and death hasn’t knocked upon his door so I’m not going to slip the key to it.

He smiled, “Scarlett, my sun, my moon and stars, come, please. You know why, I can’t live another minute knowing you’re not there to lay my head upon your lap and talk about how our day went, or to see your chest collapse and fall with every breath, the comfort it gives me, just in  knowing your alive . No, no, no!!”

I know, but you must always remember that I will be live as long as there is a place for me in your heart, I will live in those times your remember me and smile, I will live in those moments where you and the kids look up to the sky and say my name, I will live as long you draw breath, do you wish to kill my legacy? Do you? Go back Ezekiel, go back, I will wait for you.

His face contorted into a fit of rage, sorrow, despair and he walked near me and starting thrashing wildly, kicking his arms and legs in all inhumanly directions, screaming, yelling and when I looked into his eyes and gave him one last look, he stretched his arm out to lightly touch my fingertips and whispered,” Goodbye, my love, I will live for you.” as he knelt before me the same way he did that day.

I felt myself being swirled into a whirlpool of light, stretching me into long into infinite bounds, suddenly filled with power and just the feeling of being complete and then darkness enveloped everywhere.

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— Whoosh, a gust of wind blew over his face, almost caressing him. —

His eyelids fluttered open just a little, just enough to a peek at what is around him.

“Where am I? “

Daddy, you fainted at mum’s... umm... funeral and had a heart attack on the way, but now you’re okay, I sent Ophelia and Zoheth home, they persisted to stay but they had to go to school, that’s what mum would have wanted. You were muttering something in your sleep about seeing mum... Did you actually see her?

Yes, I did, she convinced me to stay. Go home, and take rest, you need to get back to college, remember what we promised mom? We are going to keep our word. Go.

She came and hugged him and gave a toothy grin and said,” Yes.” and closed the door behind her.

Thoughts flooded Zeke’s mind, he could remember clearly what happened at the lakes, and he knew what he was going to do. He clutched at his wedding ring and gazed outside his window knowingly. Even dead, Scarlet had made him a better man.

Scarlett I hope your happy.

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“What I want in my life is willing to be dazzled, to be cast aside by the weight of facts and maybe even float a little above this difficult world.” ~ M.O.

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Love,

Lady Lazarus

(picture and prompt from: pinterest)

#writeblr #writeblr community #mystery #supernatural #oneshot #i feel like an old lady #technology man #its great #lady lazarus