#i am not giving up my hobbies because of something i need to function in school | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aro-langblr · 15 days

Text

I'm gonna vent for a second. I'll try to keep it language related, but this definitely a real life vent. heavy topics, but nothing explicit.

Long story short, life's been rough. I'm currently unemployed for the first time ever and I recently surrendered my cat along with a whole plethora of other Bad Things. I even had to give up on my pharmacy training. but even in the midst of all this... I've started engaging in hobbies for the first time since literally 2021. maybe 2022. and don't get me wrong, if you followed my original langblr (@/blunderinglangblr) before I deleted, I'm nowhere near the level of functional as I was back then. Not by a long shot. But I'm doing things I didn't think were even possible for me anymore. I didn't think I even had hobbies or interests anymore. and I don't mean I've recently had a one off "oh, I did a thing for two days in a row because I tried to push myself for once uwu." I mean I've done creative writing consistely for the past couple weeks. I tried drawing which I haven't done since I was a teenager. I've put together multiple meals for myself when I hadn't had a real meal for the past 3 months at least because I couldn't get myself to cook. I've been reading. all of this since becoming unemployed about 2 weeks ago.

and since becoming unemployed, I realized that I was wrong. I fucking do have interests and hobbies. all the same ones I had before. and I'm so mad. I'm furious. I can't explain how the idea has me almost in tears! I've been living on total burnout since october of 2021. probably even longer since I had an attempt at the end of october that year. my life has been a goddamn shakesperean tragedy, and it took losing everything for me to even feel like a shadow of a person again.

I'm studying linguistics and languages today for the first time. I drew yesterday, and I had a couple decent meals recently. I'm doing okay enough... and it's just so sad... I'm trying to apply for disability, but I'll have to find another job soon. I live alone and don't have family, so I need some source of income. I can't just wait to hear back about my application.

it's just... I have been given a glimpse of the person I used to be. someone I could be. and I feel like all of it has just been stolen away from me because I've been living on the edge for so long. I still am honestly. I'm still really suffering despite the good. but the fact that there's any good at all is something I didn't know was possible anymore.

#I was made to believe this wasn't possible and it's just heartbreaking to have The Realization #personal #vent #might delete later but I'm undecided. I think I want to leave this one here.

27 notes · View notes

amanitaphalloides · 2 months

Note

Please give me all your unemployment, job hunting, interviewing, etc tips!

hi unemployed community member <3

I am so sorry in advance for the length of this. I’m coming at this as someone who got laid off from a corporate job and is basically looking for the same job again, so ymmv with how relevant this is, but here’s a random array of tips I have found helpful.

MY GUIDE TO BEING UNEMPLOYED!

Getting your shit together after losing a job

Things you may need/want to do quickly if you have just lost a job (ie my week 1 unemployment to do list):

apply for unemployment benefits

review, negotiate, and sign your separation agreement

make an unemployment budget

take advantage of your final weeks of employer-sponsored insurance by having last-minute doctors appointments and getting your prescriptions refilled

look for new health insurance

contact student loan servicer to request a deferment/update your payment plan

More about this:

Unemployment benefits

If you’re eligible for unemployment benefits, apply to them right away. Different states are different, but you may need to have an in-person meeting at the unemployment office before you get any money. Scheduling this can take weeks. The world will look so much brighter if you have a little income. So if you qualify, do this first!

You will typically qualify for benefits if you got laid off or fired, but you also made qualify if your contract ended. Also you can usually freelance and still get benefits depending on how much you make.

Budgeting

Making a budget was really important to me so that I could concretely see whether I needed to panic about money and so I could give myself permission to relax. My goal was to stretch my severance and unemployment as far as possible while also doing stuff I enjoy.

Here's my budget template just in case our brains work the same way. This template is based on an old budget of mine - there are items on here that I set to $0 once I got laid off. I literally did budget in movie tickets because that has a massive impact on my joy in life.

Severance

If you are getting severance, it is possible to negotiate how much you get! I was able to get a few extra weeks basically by saying “this is bad timing and my income also supports my family."

Negotiating severance is like negotiating salary in that your former employer will probably give you less than you ask for. It's unlike negotiating salary in that you usually have zero leverage so honestly you might as well do an emotional appeal. IMO

Putting together an unemployed life

Stuff I consider absolutely non-negotiable aka things I MUST do not to spiral:

Make plans with friends. Write all your social plans down in your calendar and treat them as seriously as work.

Do something other than job hunting. Pick up a hobby. Give yourself a really specific reading or movie watching challenge. Volunteer. This will allow you to feel like you have a life which is absolutely critical to your self esteem, your ability to socialize, and your ability to function. You are going to have days when you NEED to feel cool. That will be way easier if you volunteered a few days ago than if you haven't done anything joyful for weeks.

Try to take care of your physical health. Move your body, eat full meals, go to bed at a regular time. I have really realized that sometimes the difference between me feeling good and despondent is truly just like, have I slept well and eaten and exercised recently.

Do things you like doing. I think it is very common to become unemployed and feel like you have to strip away everything in your life that's not focused on the job hunt. But you cannot stop doing everything that brings you happiness and expect to be okay. You will love your life if you fill it with things you love and you will hate it if you don't.

More tips....

Make a list of free or cheap things you can do for fun and then do them! Being unemployed is a great time to go to free days at museums if there’s anything like that near you. It’s also a good time to try a new recipe, check out a new walking path, FaceTime with a friend, write your grandma a letter, make diary comics, listen to new albums, watch movies you always meant to watch... for me though getting out of the house is especially important. I am constantly googling "free things to do in chicago this weekend" lol it pays off especially in a city!

I literally make Google calendar events for myself that are like "free museum day." I need to protect that time and treat it like an appointment to make myself actually do things.

If you have friends who wfh, go hang out with them and job hunt while they're working!

Applying for jobs

Tell everyone that you are job hunting. Post it far and wide. A lot of people get referral bonuses so they'll be trying to help you!

Job boards I use most heavily: Idealist, Otta, Built In, LinkedIn

This is so obvious but a lesson I really learned recently: only apply to places if you would take the job. If you're like "realistically I would not do that for that salary range" do not apply. you are gonna get yourself in Situations @ me two months ago

If you have a 1st or 2nd LinkedIn connection at a job you’re looking at dm them and say you'd love to hear what they think of the company!

I have also had success messaging random people on LinkedIn. Basically following this format: "Hi [name]! I came across this job at your company - I'm really interested and I'd love to hear more about what it's like working with the team. I'm sure you're busy, but is there any chance you have 15 minute this week or next to chat with me about the company before I apply? Thanks either way!"

Not everyone will want to talk but sometimes people still give you good insight into the hiring process.

It is really important to me to have boundaries around my job search. This has varied a bit depending on my schedule but the best thing I've found is telling myself I apply to jobs 9am-12pm. At noon I am DONE.

Interviewing

My interview prep: practice my elevator pitch with a focus on why it lead me to this company, pick out a few anecdotes from my past jobs I can share (a time I messed up, something I worked on that had a good result, something that didn’t go as expected, a time I had to deal with conflict), read the job's website and any news items I can find about them, and do a little quick review of the industry.

Most commonly repeated questions I've encountered recently: what's a time you made a mistake, what kind of management style do you like, why should we hire you.

This is the first time in my life I've ever genuinely practiced an elevator pitch and I hate to say it but it's really helped

After an interview (especially a panel interview) immediately take a few notes on what people said so you can write personalized thank yous.

I hope something in that was helpful and if not I'm sorry for the wall of text LOL but hugs and kisses it is all gonna be ok!!!

18 notes · View notes

spacecrows · 9 months

Text

The thing that really sucks about ADHD and ADHD meds for me is that it’s so difficult to tell if I am medicated properly or not? Like I know I am very lucky that the only other meds I ever really need are the occasional ibuprofen for a headache or something to help with nausea a few times a year (and like contraception and vitamins lol) - but when I am in pain I notice the pain I think “I should take an ibuprofen” and once I do the pain gets better and if it gets worse again I notice and take another. Same with nausea. It’s easy. But with ADHD, most of my “symptoms” when I am unmedicated just feel like character flaws? So for 20-something years before I knew I had ADHD I just thought I was just a procrastinator and stupid for not being able to read long texts and that I was really lazy and that I just got exhausted way too quickly and had to try harder and harder and harder and if I couldn’t, that was on me. ANYWAY, when I finally did get my diagnosis it was already such a relief and such a help and therapy has also been really really good. But. The meds! I started taking meds and at first I didn’t notice much of a difference, because for me ADHD means that I have very high highs and very low lows, both in terms of mood and in terms of focus, productivity, etc. So when I started taking them, I thought I just had a few rather productive high functioning days. And since even on meds, things can still be difficult and the highs and lows are not gone completely, things were sort of blurry. But after a few weeks I forgot to get my prescription and went a couple days without them, and I realized this huge difference. I have not found my perfect meds yet, so I still struggle. But it is such an enourmous difference. Things are so much less difficult for me. Functioning is so much easier. It’s not like I am suddenly great at everything, I still forget 50% of the things I need to do and still procrastinate and still struggle with motivation, but things are doable. And I feel better about myself. Well, a month ago I changed my meds (mainly because I want to find something that gives me some inner peace and quiet once in a while? if anyone has any recommendations please let me know! magic mushrooms worked like a charm but ideally i’d like something. you know. legal. a girl can dream I guess). And I started with the lowest dosage. And that was evidently not enough for me. But I didn’t realize that I was not medicated properly, because there wasn’t some sort of distinct “symptom” to alert me. Instead, my sleep pattern slipped. Food was a struggle. Chores and urgent paperwork started to pile up. I felt days slipping by where I couldn’t get myself to do anything, really, not even hobbies I enjoy. And because it was gradual, and these are all things I struggle with (to some degree) even on meds, I didn’t realize what was happening. Instead, I got frustrated with myself. I thought “Wow, I am so lazy, I can’t get anything done. How do all my friends have their shit together and I just can’t cope? Why am I so stupid? Why am I such a procrastinator? Why don’t I have any energy? I am so undisciplined! I just really need to try harder!”. Needless to say, getting angry at myself didn’t really change much - except making me miserable. Until I realized that when I forgot to take my meds, I didn’t notice any difference. So I tried a higher dosage and suddenly, magically, I had the energy to do one or two small chores a day and answer one email and get out of bed and read a book I like and hang out with friends a few times a week. But even after all that! I forgot to take my meds this morning, and I had the worst day. I was completely exhausted, felt weird, didn’t manage to reply to urgent messages from friends, took a depression nap and felt worse. Read the same page in my book over and over and over and over again and couldn’t make sense of it. Hated every single person on public transit that even breathed too loudly. Wanted to break out into tears on the tram (and nearly did). Only to realize around 5 pm that I hadn’t taken my meds. Took them, and pretty instantly felt better. I think I’ll tidy up my room a little now. And maybe even read a few chapters before bed. Things are fine. But I really really want some sort of inner alert that tells me if I have taken my meds and if the dosage works for me. Something like that. Please!!!

#adhd #audhd #neurodivergent #grmpf #i notice this is a very long post but i will not apologize for rambling >:(#adhd pride or something like that #(this is not easy)#apparently i have a lot of feelings about this #ps i love myself for my adhd and i know it makes me who i am and there are qualities about me that come from having adhd that i really like #but still #sometimes it's just really difficult and i didn't KNOW why for like 25 years so I get to complain about this ok

25 notes · View notes

am-i-interrupting · 2 months

Note

Can I have a Hazbin Hotel matchup, please?

My name is Maria Eduarda, I’m Brazilian, 22 years old, my pronouns are she/her and I study Environmental Science at the College

I’m awful at describing myself, but here we go. I’m introverted, usually I don’t start a conversation with someone else, but I like to chat if other people start talking to me. I'm quite a procrastinator, but so far it hasn't caused me any major problems. I am well organized and responsible with anything that involves other people, I don't want to harm anyone. I work hard at anything that I think will bring me good things in the future, I really like making jokes (even dark humor ones) and I consider myself very loyal to my friends. I am very unassertive in showing what I want and I always give in to avoid conflict. I don't know how to act under pressure (I usually freeze when it happens and I need some help)

Hobbies: video games (Nintendo is my passion), I love to write; currently learning how to make digital art (still being awful at it), also trying to learn how to play piano (this one I’m doing better) and I’m learning to like going to gym

Likes and dislikes: I love Analog Horrors and sci-fi (my favorite series are Doctor Who and Star Trek), I love food, but I hate to cook; I hate when the weather is too hot (it’s weird, since I live in Rio de Janeiro); I hate crowds and I hate the feeling of being left out of something

Your Match Up Is. . .

Charlie!

You met Charlie soon after you came to Hell. Every year after the extermination, she went out to help sinners who’d been injured. You were one of those.

Charlie fell fast and she fell hard. She was enamored by your ability to try so hard to be kind in such a cruel world, rather like herself. She found a sense of relatability in your struggle.

She wrote a long, detailed letter to you about how much she adores your creativity and kindness and loves listening to you talk and playing video games with you and how she has any art you may have given her framed up in random places so no matter where she is if she’s having a bad day she might pass it and think of you. It was, of course, accompanied with sweets and flowers and a promise that it’s absolutely okay if you don’t feel the same way!

Of course, you did feel the same way so that wasn’t a problem.

You help her build up the hotel. You’re more in charge of making things functional and organized while Charlie makes it pretty.

Charlie seems like the type who would know piano or at least know someone who knows (before she met Alastor) so she would absolutely either teach you herself or find someone who could.

She obviously has a music room in the hotel but she does make sure she gets a top quality piano and spends more time searching for that than anything else.

She will join you in the gym. . . She will ogle at you while you work out in the gym.

She loved being with you wherever you are so you’ll never have to be alone unless you want to and she invites you everywhere.

Of course, if there’s an event she has to go to and it’s crowded and you want to leave, she will find a way to make sure you can leave early together but if you want to leave by yourself go ahead. She’ll catch up as soon as she can.

You two spend a lot of nights curled up on a couch or in bed watching tv shows.

She asks you so many questions about the ones you pick.

She’s also not scared of the horror movies because well. . . She grew up in Hell. There’s probably not a lot she hasn’t seen.

She will pretend like she is though just so you’ll hold her close.

#Charlie Morningstar x reader #hazbin hotel matchup

9 notes · View notes

cutie-keebs · 5 months

Text

2023 End of year keyboard review

Hi yalls!

So we're approaching the end of the year. Since then, more keyboards have entered the market and I've managed to build some of them. At the same time, group buy orders managed to arrive. I'm so happy that I've been able to expand my collection with these items.

Honourable mentions

Due to how expensive the keyboard hobby is, I couldn't grab everything that was released this year. At the same time, I had to sell some of the keebs that I used to own due to a variety of reasons.

For starters, the QK and Jris series have been super amazing for opening doors for high-quality budget options in the market. I own the QK75 and remade my first keyboard build and I swear to god the improvement is immaculate.

Next is Mode Designs. They have released a bunch of high-quality boards and boy howdy, I wish I could own them all. The Envoy was well-loved in the community and the release of the Loop is so cute. I wish I could grab my hands on it, but I'm satisfied with my Sonnet, which is still available to this day and now has new colour options.

Lastly, it's the established keyboard companies like Asus and Razer as they've released some hotswap keyboards. The one that caught my eye the most is the Azoth. I would trade in my old Corsaid K70 for that keyboard. If anyone is willing to do so, hit me up.

Now, here are my top 5 boards.

5. The Dreamscape build

We all know how I've felt about this build. It took 2 years and it's finally here. I love this build for the soft aesthetic and I'm so glad I can finally use this keyboard. It's such a shame it took so long because there were times I was losing hope and was considering giving it a different build.

Specs:

Ikki Aurora x EPBT Dreamscape

EPBT Dreamscape

Gazzew Bobagums

Artisans from Namong and From Scratch

As for the use and feel, it's nice. A bit mushy cuz of the switches. But at least no one will get mad at me when I type during meetings because apparently, they can pick up my typing sounds. Its the ultimate dream silent keyboard.

I'm just happy this build is finally complete cuz omg, imagine if this went on to 2024. I would lose my sh*t.

4. Rama Thermal

Getting used to the HHKB layout has been a challenge. Fortunately, I ended up getting used to it after a few months. I do miss my arrow keys but using function + WASD was a good alternative. I will admit that my productivity at work did slow down during the first few weeks.

Specs:

Thermal by RamaWorks

Osume Winterglow Eve

Clackbits

Artisans from Tulipclay

While Rama might have some controversies, it's actually a really nice board. Has a really unique look it, something that I'm after when I buy keyboards. However, after comparing it to other builds, it's not really great. The sound quality feels hollow (despite tape modding it), and the keycaps and switches sound output doesn't help at all so I ended up rebuilding it.

Right now, as of writing, I'm using temporary parts for a later build and it's going to take a while for me to find the right combo. I will update you once I made something worth showcasing a sound test. I am interested in trying out the Akko Penguin Silent Switches so hopefully a muted build is what this build needs.

If there is something I learned from this keyboard - DON'T BUY FROM RAMAWORKS.

3. The Nordic Build

The boards may look good but their reputation sunk so bad. I had to file a bank complaint just so they could reply and get this board shipped (mind you, it was a in-stock item).

Originally, the keyboard that I wanted to use was the Loki65. But thanks to Mechs and Co, that was heavily delayed. I've always had eyes on the Fuji keyboard series since I started this hobby in 2021. So thanks to the Keebs For All Marketplace, someone was selling theirs for a good price and I got it.

Specs:

Fuji 65

EPBT Scandi

Hera Switches

Artisan from EzKeys

Aesthetics-wise, it looks pretty good. All the colours complement each other and I'm quite happy. The reason I wanted to make this build is that my favourite country is Iceland and I wanted to build a keyboard inspired by my trip there in 2019. The only flaw with this build is that the switches sound scratchy. But that's because I didn't lube them. Could be fixed if I do that.

I look forward to the day when the Loki65 gets shipped as I think my thoughts will change when it arrives.

2. The Tofu Build

Believe it or not, this was the first keyboard I built this year and I'm quite happy with how it turned out. The reason why built this keyboard is because I was inspired by Magic The Gathering - Kamigawa Neon Dynasty and this build resembles that trading card set.

Specs:

Tofu 60 (the original)

PBT Fans Kabuki-Cho

Tecsee Ruby Switches

This keyboard is THOCKY. It's not as thocky compared to modern builds but it has that low-profile sound that was highly sought after during the pandemic. I can see why this was a beloved build back in the early days of the keyboard hobby.

While the Tofu has increased in price over the years, I believe it's a testament to how the hobby has changed. I'm glad to have a piece of keyboard history in my collection.

1. The Sonnet Build

This has to be my newest go-to keyboard. From the looks, sound, and aesthetics, it was worth it. It took a while for me to figure out which keycaps to use since it originally had Osume Dusk. I think the greys from the Hooties are much better.

Specs:

Sonnet from Mode Designs

GMK Hooty

Popu Linears

Artisans from Hibi.MX and Geekkey

Using this board has that 5/5 experience. The sound is so satisfying, the feel is really nice. The artisans complement the board so well. And the fact that the Sonnet is a really good quality keyboard adds extra points. I highly recommend getting the Sonnet when you have the chance to do so.

#mechanical keyboard #custom keyboard #technology #keyboard #mechanical keyboards #cute keyboard #review #keyboard review #end of year #end of year review

6 notes · View notes

most-definitively-a-human · 8 days

Text

Oh dear. It seems I may have made yet another character autistic without realising. We've got three now. (Most likely.) Yay!

I'm happy her experiences are different enough to mine that I'll still have fun. (I get bored when characters are too similar to me)

I'm seeking out the input of people who aren't as negatively affected by autism as I am to get a clear view of things. I'm disabled to the point where I can't drive or work by it, have a caregiver, and don't relate much to much of the autistic representation I see. My experiences with autism are predominately sensory, motor, and with executive function, but I don't struggle to make friends and Lumin's are mainly social and about routine, I think that's why I didn't notice for so long. In many ways we're complete opposites.

My experiences are a skewed and incomplete perspective of what the spectrum is, and something I'd like to rectify/add onto.

About Lumin

Lumin despises interruptions, experiences outbursts of rage whenever interupted, and follows a strict schedule (mainly due to being a workaholic but she does find it soothing). She prefers to do things together than talk most of the time (like sparring), has to excercise to deal with a ceaseless and restless energy, and doesn't understand people different to herself and assumes everyone is similarly oppurtunistic.

She communicates in a blunt, direct manner, with occasional vivid metaphor. She despises looping floral speech, abhors small talk and beaureocracy, and doesn't understand how to interact with others outside of intimidation or power plays as that was all she was taught.

Other people's emotions and sentimentality baffle her, and she's annoyed by their outbursts. She sometimes attempts to soothe people by saying things like "you have nothing to cry about" and "it could be worse" with genuine kind intent. She wishes she could find people who aren't so easily upset.

As a doctor, she is baffled by people who say she has a bad bedside manner. Why are they angry at her for failing to interrupt her duty to engage in pleasantries? Do they want her to be slow and incompetent? If you want pleasantries go elsewhere. You have a broken arm. Why isn't that your priority?

She couldn't bear working as a soldier since she hated being ordered about and 'being in the prescence of so many unambitious idiots' (I think she might also be overwhelmed by all the people but too proud to admit it) (she also hates turning her hobby into a job) (sparring is the one thing in her life that wasn't graded and she wants to keep it that way)

When she meets Asran (a small child of eight years) she decides to entertain him by reading out loud medical textbooks. This works. She does not have any other ideas for methods of entertainment other than "put him in a garden and ignore him" or "give him non sharp medical tools to fiddle with"

Most people dislike her, and she gave up on trying to be friendly long ago. She tries to seem as intimidating and unpleasant as possible because if she can't be loved, at least she can be feared.

She also has a strict moral code and is relentlessly adherent to authority figures she admires. She thinks it is sacriledge to question them.

Typing this out, it seems the main reason I didn't realise it is because she doesn't need a carer like me. She seems pretty obvious now that I type everything up.

I do have another few points of difficulty though.

Reasons why I'm uncertain

-Her inability to empathise is more due to her experiencing severe trauma and also being a jerk. She could understand others if she tried. She just doesn't want to because a) she has work to do and b) to her people are all the same anyway. No point in analysing them when the only important thing is ascertaining whether or not they're useful or a threat. (She would still have a naturally blunt style of communication without trauma - might be even blunter) (And would still be fixated on medical knowledge to the detriment of everything else.)

-She's an alien mermaid with a different set of instincts. She has a heightened prey drive and heightened instincts. Due to her species this explains much of the autism like symptoms, like the sensory seeking behaviour and love of schedule. In short, she wouldn't qualify for a diagnosis without being an alien so I'm not quite sure if she counts.

Personally I think her experiences will be very relatable to many autistic people, but I'm not quite sure yet due to the alien mermaid thing.

I want to make sure I'm describing her accurately. I'm not interested in changing her to be more in line with the diagnostic criteria - she's her own person and close to being fully developed as a character at this point. If she's subclinical that's great because people on the border between neurotypical and autistic get someone to relate to, and if she isn't that's also great. Either way she'll resonate with people, and that I'm content with

I just want to know how best to describe her and make no false promises. (Don't want to say she's autistic rep when she might just a more relatable than average ornery fish lady)

#lumin #legends of aurelia #autism #long post #sorry for rambling but I needed to give a complete picture #didn't even have time to talk about her arcs #ramblings

6 notes · View notes

electrosair · 8 months

Note

Hi cutie, is matchup event still open? I would like to ask for one.

I'm an INFJ. I'm a perfect definition of introvert: like and need time alone to function properly. But I can fit into any environment if needed, but after that, I still need to be alone to recharge. People say I'm a soft person with a soft heart. I won't say I'm disagree. But people also say I can make a good lead and I am an ambitious and headstrong perfectionist at work, not that I will disagree.

For my hobbies, I often read book, journal and craft things (you know, like crochet...). I prefer things that are pretty or feminine, like flowers, moon, small animals... I'm often known to be the one with good sense of fashion and I never go out without dress up, or at least taking a good care of my appearance. To my belief, keeping a presentable appearance is a way of respecting myself and others.

My favorite nations are Liyue and Fontaine, since I'm a Asian (Liyue reminds me of my homeland more than Inazuma and I love Liyue's Archon quest), and I love French's fashion and cultural (for Fontaine, and a certain dragon, too). My favorite element is anemo, maybe because I want to free myself from my mental problems.

I hope mine won't be too long since I have stop myself from oversharing! Thank you lovely, hope I would get my response soon.~

there's just one little thing i want to say liyue's archon quest is insert circus music (for me and childe at least) i could rage for an hour about how much i hated people (zhongli) on that quest but i won't because i love you

Diluc!

Your personalities are certainly similar and you will probably start to get along well after breaking the ice on a few occasions. You would have a lot to talk about in terms of ambitions and future plans.

He would start bringing you books from his own shelves and give you crocheting supplies the moment he finds out about your tastes. I can say without hesitation that Diluc would melt if you give him something handmade.

You can't say he's very feminine, but I'm sure he likes to see outfits like that on you and would notice little details like the pattern of your clothes or the accessories. He would bring you flowers or take you to see the moon as soon as you ask him to.

#genshin impact #genshin impact fluff #genshin impact blurb #genshin impact headcanons #genshinimpact #fluff #genshin #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #air matches you up #genshin matchups #diluc #diluc fluff #diluc x reader

13 notes · View notes

cellarspider · 1 year

Text

Oh boy I am poked

For those in need of context: I mentioned my desire to fight Noam Chomsky behind a Dennys, after reading The Atoms of Language: The Mind’s Hidden Rules of Grammar by Mark C. Baker (2001).

What follows is a 2000 word essay on why. Holy heck this took all night.

Top-level disclaimer: I am not a trained linguist. I am an enthusiastic amateur at best, thanks to my hobby of constructed language-making. If anybody would like to correct something or discuss the topic, feel free!

Because l have loud feelings about The Atoms of Language. I think the way it conceives of the world has a lot of parallels in how people view science in general. So despite its age, it’s worth giving it a bit of a kicking. Both for its specific claims, and the big picture.

To summarize: the shape of our languages aren’t hard-coded into our brain by genetics. Languages don’t fall into immutable, hard-edged categories based off of binary choices. The author presents only one alternative: random chance, unconstrained by any environmental factors, that each child must learn without pattern recognition. This is a false dichotomy, and one that cuts off far more reasonable means by which languages can evolve and be learned. Science is not a fight between absolute order and absolute chaos.

I have to begin with a two paragraph digression to set the scene.

The sciences are home to a perennial nerd squabble about whose field is the best and most pure, usually in a "physicists and chemists versus everyone else" divide. This is timewasting nonsense, but it's worth acknowledging that physics and chemistry allow for experiments where one can test universal truths to a ludicrously high degree of certainty. This cannot be done in other fields, because there are too many complicating factors. My chosen field of genetics deals with systems that have so many moving parts, they're impossible to fully predict. Social sciences study behavior, which is even harder to make generalized statements about.

Now, this does not mean physicists and chemists can explain everything about genetics or social sciences. Their tools are not suited to the problems tackled in these fields, and anybody who claims otherwise is a blowhard. But sometimes people can get jealous of the certainty of physical laws. They may try to legitimize their field or their pet theory by describing it in terms of physics and chemistry.

And so Mark Baker wrote The Atoms of Language.

You may be able to see where the problems start with this book.

So, what is this book trying to authoritatively explain? Well, a couple of big questions in linguistics are "how do babies learn languages when they are small and bad at everything?" and "why do so many unrelated languages share structures that function similarly to each other?"

Baker subscribes to Noam Chomsky’s theories on the subject, which can be summarized like this: The grammatical structures of all languages are formed from a limited and definable set of parameters, which are predefined by a “Language Acquisition Device” in the brain, found exclusively in humans, due to a single evolutionary event that no other organism has replicated.

In fact, Chomsky asserts that not only is this the root of all language, it’s also the only way that babies could ever learn a language. He posits that they don’t receive enough information to learn their language. Instead, they instinctively pick up on linguistic parameters that the Linguistic Acquisition Device is hard-coded to create, selecting those that are relevant to their first language and discarding the rest.

Using these parameters contained within the Language Acquisition Device, Baker posits a periodic table of language. One that could be used to describe and predict all possible grammatical constraints of language.

This is highly controversial on every level. I’m going to start with the Chomsky stuff and move on to what Baker does with these parameters.

The human exclusivity of syntactically complex language is currently up for debate, with Carolina chickadees and prairie dogs arguably being capable of the same feat in the wild.

Chomsky never tested this theory in a rigorous manner in humans either. However, its structure is similar to many experiments from the past few decades. There was a wave of neuropsychology studies that claimed “we found the brain region responsible for [behavior] via an FMRI study!”. These usually ended up being shaved down by later investigations into "actually that part of the brain does at least six things, and that particular behavior is split between at least fifteen different regions.”

To this date, no single region of the brain has been identified as the source of childhood language acquisition. While it’s hard to get a kid to sit still in an MRI machine, this is backed up by one of the oldest ways to study the brain: looking at what breaks when it’s injured. While there are many brain injuries that can affect one’s ability to speak or to comprehend language, none have been conclusively shown to abolish the ability to form grammatical sentences. Even ones you think really, really should: witness the man who had a key language center of the brain surgically removed, and somehow continued to speak pretty damn coherently all the same.

This is a problem, obviously, but one could argue that a circuit could form between multiple areas of the brain to create a Language Acquisition Module, right? Okay then. Let’s examine the parameters it supposedly contains. These are the fundamental categories that human languages are locked into, according to Chomsky and Baker. While Baker begins with the metaphor of the periodic table, what he actually describes is more of a flow chart: an increasingly specific pattern of choices that build up to form a unique language.

Baker admits he doesn’t have the complete periodic table of language. In fact, he backpedals in the last quarter of the book, and says well, we don't have a periodic table of linguistics yet, maybe we never will, but we could!

And he’s pretty sure of the chart that he does have. And he still considers it to demonstrate immutable categories of language. For example, he says there are two basic word orders: Subject Verb Object (“I eat apples”) and Subject Object Verb (“I apples eat”). He presents this as the most basic thing a child learns about their language’s structure. This is first, all else comes after.

…Except he then admits that actually, there are other word orders, but they’re really rare, so that proves him right anyway.

This, as the astute in the audience may note, does not in fact prove him right. Language is not behaving like the perfect, hard-edged system he wants, it’s messy. And it doesn’t get any better from there. More and more exceptions pile up, perfectly reasonable in the context of their languages, but they’re problems to this model. Baker asserts that culture has no meaningful effect on the structure of language.

To Baker, these parameters cannot have evolved independently based on cultural trends. This must be set in stone, or everything would be chaos. He argues that two languages coming up with similar structures independently by means of culturally-influenced linguistic evolution would be like two people flipping a coin a hundred times and getting the same sequence of heads and tails.

How languages end up the way they do is still a topic of study and debate. But Baker is pulling out an argument often used by creationists, so we’re in my wheelhouse here. I will briefly use biological evolution as a metaphor to explain why he’s wrong.

Biological evolution keeps coming up with similar structures and adaptations across wildly different species. Birds and scallops have eyes, even though their last common ancestor didn’t. Bees and bats can both fly. How is this possible, if evolution is a random process and isn’t directed according to some plan? Because all organisms are dealing with similar environmental pressures. Why are snakes and ferrets and eels all long, thin, slinky tubes? Because hunting and hiding in small burrows is easier that way. Snails and turtles and beetles have hard shells because being chewed on is bad. The environment creates restrictions on what sorts of bodies can feasibly exist, and that results in convergent evolution.

Language is working within a more restricted environment: You have a vocal tract.* You are a social animal. It benefits you and your kin group to be able to communicate things about yourself and the world around you. What does that mean? Telling people about the location of things. The qualities of things. Describing actions that have a cause and effect. You need some way to say "There is food here" or "I hit it with a stick, and then bees came out."

These desirable qualities mean that languages are subject to massive environmental pressures to maintain a minimum level of ability to communicate specific kinds of information, regardless of how they change over time. And you're presenting the information through a linear medium, one word at a time. These physical and behavioral traits limit the possible things a language can do.

So while I do not have the technical knowledge to propose a detailed model of linguistic evolution, I do not find it unlikely that human languages could experience convergent evolution, producing highly analogous structures completely independently of each other. Are there components of human cognition that lead humans to prefer some forms more than others? Almost certainly. But again, they’ll be messy! And they will be very, very hard to tease apart from the social context of language.

So, why did I just spend 1500 words ranting about this? Because despite the fact that this book was published not long before most linguists rejected these premises, it still plays into a lot of misapprehensions people have about science. Can we come up with absolute, iron-clad laws for everything? No. Many systems are so complicated that with our imperfect knowledge, they resist the language of certainty.

Does that mean that science is useless in those cases? No!! You can still figure out restrictions on what can and can’t happen, what is and isn’t reasonable to expect. This is the language of probability. The more we rigorously study a subject, the more precise we can be. That’s what we do in science.** We describe the world as precisely and carefully as we can, using the resources we have. It’s not always elegant, but not everything will be.

And I think that’s a good excuse for me to end this without a neat little closing thought.

---

*and hands, but I am not qualified to discuss sign languages.

**The desire to be achingly comprehensive is strong. You have no many times I had to delete tangents in this thing. They would have made my points more precise. I could have talked about synaptic pruning in the developing brain. I could talk about multiple testing correction while calculating probabilities. I wrote a footnote ramble about Japanese serial verb constructions, but I deleted it! Go me!!!

#spider rambles far too much #that was a lot #haven't gone on a ramble this long in ages #that was fun but tiring

17 notes · View notes

rayclubs · 8 months

Note

13: What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

18: do you use tools like outlines or drawings? (Paraphrased. From the writing ask game)

What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

When I was around twelve, I used to write fanfics on a forum with a public beta function where a stranger could select the bit of text where they found a typo or a grammar mistake, right-click it, and sent a notification to the author with a comment detailing what was wrong. Looking back, it was a fucked up function that brought a lot of toxicity to the platform, but, well, I was twelve and didn't speak English, I didn't have a lot of alternatives. Well, one day this girl just beta'd almost all of my fics entirely unprompted, like, I woke up do fifty-something notifications, so I messaged her with a polite "thank you", we got talking, and she was very nice, and ended up proof-reading for me for the next couple of months. She was twenty-one or maybe twenty-two, and she was encouraging in a way - back then I didn't really have any adults who would support my writing hobby, she was the first. She started giving me advice - not unsolicited, I was looking for critique, always am - and at some point she said something along the likes of "I think you should make your characters more... character, y'know? This guy you're writing is a chain smoker, but he hasn't lit a single cigarette in three chapters." And, well, it stuck with me, I guess. Make your characters more character. Make it so you know who's speaking without reading the dialogue tag. Make the reader recognize who entered the room just by describing the footsteps. There are so many subtle things you can fill the story with that make it so much more alive, so... breathing with reality. It's nice, I think. The girl from the forum disappeared though, stopped texting me at some point - I think maybe she got bored, and I don't blame her, I was a kid and she clearly just helped me out of the goodness of her heart. Maybe even a bit of healthy arrogance. I hope she's alright. She's gotta be around thirty now. I hope she still writes.

Do you use tools like outlines or drawings?

I tried, but they don't work for me. If I'm writing a really long story and need to keep track of a lot of recurring motifs and elements, I might take notes in a separate document, but I don't draw schematics or use any tools. Sometimes I get overwhelmed and can't really get writing because I don't have the pieces in my head in a way that'd make sense and the only thing that really helps is talking to someone about it. Luckily, I have very patient friends and a blog to run, so I'm never really out of ears to sit on!

#raynswers

5 notes · View notes

manonamora-if · 1 year

Note

"Another issue was raised regarding the save slots." Hi, I'm the one who raised that issue. I know WHY it happens, I just think that case should be handled. It looks unprofessional and at odds with the rest of the presentation. It gives the impression that the game is buggy and unpolished. It's not difficult to fix either, just have the onSave function check whether the name variable is defined and if it isn't name the save something like "?????".

Hi Anon,

First of all, thank you for reporting those issue (I think you reported the starting link issue as well? The fix should be up in a moment). I appreciate you taking the time to raise it up. Especially since this project is a WIP.

However, I do want to address some other points with your ask.

I know WHY it happens, I just think that case should be handled.

Just because you know why it happens (so do I, since it's my code), doesn't mean other people do. The note was to let other people know it is "normal", so they don't need to raise it again.

Also, this issue is fairly minor. Unless you open the save slot right as your start, it is not something you think about right away. Autoname can also be turned off in the settings for you to write your own saveslot name.

Finally, just because you think it should be handled, doesn't mean that I do (or have the time right now, or the knowledge to either).

It looks unprofessional and at odds with the rest of the presentation.

I am not a professional game developer or ever claimed that any of my games are professionally made either. I do not gain any revenue from any of my projects or any other IF venture. This is just a hobby (that I am passionate about) that I do on my own time and for fun. I didn't even know how to code a year ago!

The rest of the time, I am just a boring office drone that does dumb paperwork.

Also... even 'professional' games have bugs.

It's not difficult to fix either.

Just because it is not difficult to you, doesn't mean it is not to me either. You should not expect people to have the same level of knowledge or comprehension of the code as you do.

Logically, I know why the code does what it does and what it should do instead. But this is JavaScript I need to edit, not TwineScript. My knowledge of the second is good enough that I can help people. The first however... I have talked at length either on this blog or on Discord how much I dislike JavaScript and how painful it is for me to code it.

This does not mean I won't ever fix it, because I will. But don't assume things, please. I just need some time to figure out stuff before implementing it.

#ask box #you could have asked me if I needed help instead #don't assume things about people #please #ttateh #the trials and tribulations of edward harcourt

38 notes · View notes

focusandrelaxforme · 10 months

Text

Documenting My Subject's Hypno Slavery Journey (Part 8)

- After her subdrop, we took things easy for a bit before getting back into it. Add to that her incoming trip, and just general busyness, and finding time for proper sessions has been difficult.

- That said, my plan is to come up with a more structured approach that will effectively leave her with instructions and guidance even when I can't interact with her directly in the moment.

- Part of that is having her be more available to her husband, so that she gets the feeling of being used.

--------

Dear Diary,

I feel like I haven't wrote in so long...but in reality its only been a day.. Not a lot has happened since my last entry. I suffered from a bit of a rough sub drop and Master let me take the day to recover. He offered to give me a bit more freedom, but I declined. That makes me feel a bit empty. He was very easy on me...except my "rest" day still involved a 10 min killer ab workout haha. But don't tell him.. I really don't mind.. i crave the control. I need to be under his control...and I desperately need to obey. The last couple days Master has been busy with work and the holiday. And I'm sure he is very tired. So I have found myself alone a lot. Which really only makes me realize how much I crave the control. I really need to find myself a hobby to do when he is busy.. or something he can assign to me. Ill have to think about that. Is it weird that I've grown to miss someone that I've only known for a week? I don't want to be seen as a crazy person. I just got used to him being there I guess. Thankfully he has still been in and out to give me little instructions...which has helped keep.me in check. He instructed me to go deep to do this journal and omg am I going deep right now. Sooo deep. I haven't been this deep in a few days and woah. Spinny!

Anyway.. idk what I am even talking about at this point. Master has promised me that he would help me deal with my anxiety and insecurities. Its embarrassing to admit that I even have the. O want to come across as a sexy confident slave...but with him i melt. And no Master, not like the creepy Indiana jones gif you sent me.

On Sunday we spent all day being sarcastic and fun. I genuinely enjoy my conversations with him...and i hope he feels the same. He has a great sense of humor...and makes me laugh like an idiot at my phone a lot. On Monday I woke up feeling relaxed...and upon putting in my lush for the day, I started to go deep. Maybe it's my lush causing it now? Is that a trigger? Anyway.. i found myself filled with energy and feeling so sassy and confident. I almost feel like I cant mess anything up...like I couldn't make a mistake if I tried. Its weird.. like I felt perfect. It lasted for a few hours at work again like Saturday.. where I was able to be high functioning while also being a deep slave for Master. Something caused me to fall out if it though after a some time. I started to get anxiety and then I was back aware. I was sad to not be happy and deep anymore. Being deep feels so nice. I feel like a happy, calm person . And i feel like my whole body is on edge and just waiting for my Masters next message. I enjoy it.. i have never had these experiences before.

Master has changed my lush instructions a bit to be a little bit safer for my body...just in case. So now I only wear it in the morning until lunch and then sometimes for a little bit at nigh for my workout. Maybe because its a trigger who knows. Well...except him. He knows everything haha.

Today he was at a forth of July party so I was home a lot alone.. but he gave me instructions to be a good slave and show my husband how much freedom. He gets for the 4th. I was to practice my obedience by telling him how deeply enslaved I am and by offering him my mouth all day. He surprisingly only took advantage of it once...and oh my.. was I deep. Master instructed me to forget about it.. but I fully remember now. i laid down my baby for a nap and then went and crawled into bed with him. He snuggled up ne t to my butt..as he always does.. and I shyly whispered that I was enslaved... in hopes he wouldn't judge me.. and then asked if he would like a blow job. He said he was alright at first...because he was half asleep.. but then about 20 mins later he woke me for it. i don't even know what came over me.. I love sucking cock normally...but I reallllly loved it today. I found my pussy aching around my lush as I licked repeatedly up and down my husbands cock and balls. He was moaning and telling me how great it felt. And I kept teasing him with mg tongue and then I would take his cock in my mouth and press it deep... i would fuck my face slowly and then quickly until i gagged on his cock.. then I would go back to licking. This went on for probably 25 mins.. and I couldn't get enough. I just felt hungry . I wanted to be so obedient for my Master.. My husband reached over and pulled down my PJs at one point and found my lush pressed into my pussy. He was a little shocked i think...and rubbed my pussy a little. It felt nice...but no where near as nice as when I was slamming his cock into my mouth for my Master. I could have cum from just that.. but I didn't ask when Master gave me the instructions.. so I was good and just let myself get to the edge. My husband finally came after I started moaning a little and whining.. i couldn't really speak...because I was so deep and into the blowjob.. he stroked his cock for me while I licked his balls and he came on top his stomach. Then I just zoned out and laid on the bed for a few minutes until i was a real person again. Then I found myself happy and bubbly for a while until my anxiety and insecurities settled back in again. I then convinced my husband to take me to get food...and I cried in the car.. not because of Master...but because of my trip coming up. I'm so stressed. How does one accept that their Mother has died.. when you lived in another state and hadn't spoken to her in months.

I don't want to be depressing and I have already filled a whole notepad at this point. Woah.

Umm anyway. I freaking miss my Master.. and I hate it. Why do I miss him. Quit being cute. (But really don't please)

Haha. Anyway ..im watching your comments! Feel free to say hi Xoxo I wrote way too much..

sorry,

slave.

--------

#hypno girl #hypno journal #hypnokink #hypnotized girl #kittysub #hypnosis #irlhypnosis #hypnosub

3 notes · View notes

hyaciiintho · 1 year

Text

❀ || As I’m sure some of you have noticed, I’m slowly making a return to here ♡ I’ll more than likely start clean and just do new threads (I do that all the time, I know, I’m sorry pfft~) but I mostly want to get specific things done first before diving in too hard into the rpc again. I’ll see how I do trying to reply to what I have right now in my drafts, but-- no promises, so I apologize!

For the things I want to do, specifically it’s re-write rules and create card pages for everything instead of relying on tumblr’s constantly breaking code gfdjklhg but to simplify it:

- I’ll probably be sticking to shorter threads, and if they become longer the more it goes on, then cool. But otherwise... I need something to hook me into an actively going thread so I can become invested. My attention span has gotten worse over the years, and I just need some more fast-paced interactions to keep me hooked!

And that’s really about it honestly pfft~ I hope others can be patient with me as I try to get back on my feet. I’ll give more IRL updates below the cut, but aside from that... I hope everyone has a lovely day and has been taking care of themselves! ♡ ♡ ♡ If anyone really wants to keep anything we had, just let me know, otherwise it’s just up to my silly little brain to determine what I want to keep pfft~ Okay, I love you, bye-bye ♡

Psyche, it’s time for the IRL info dump whoo !!

Just a lot of adjusting and battling with my brain. It’s hard to commit to things and start on others once you’ve fallen off the wagon, so it’s been an incredibly hard battle trying to get back into the swing of... anything, really! It’s tough!

I did catch The Plague™ in December (I felt awful around the 20th) and now I’m still feeling the after effects. I jokingly said wow I hope this doesn’t awaken the secret asthmatic in me haha and it really does feel that way honestly pfft~

Aside from that, 2022 has just been a whirlwind of up’s and down’s, but I’ve been working through it and moving passed it. I’m hoping 2023 turns out to be a more productive year for me, so I’ve been trying to make a schedule for myself to try and accomplish that... with how my brain works though, it’s been harder than it really should for a person, but I’m doing my best ♡ Trying to get back into streaming and getting more of a variety of things done (like not play the same game every night and actually play the other games I have that I have yet to touch and still have wrapped in plastic)

And also make time for friends I don’t usually get to hang out with and talk to and play games with. It’s sucks because I know it’s an awful feeling of being like... scheduled to hang out with, like it’s an appointment or something, but man, honestly, with how I function? It’s amazing I get even the bare basic functions of my own life handled without collapsing and wanting to sleep for 7 years :/

Social stuff and online stuff... hobbies and activities... work... all of it is so draining and I don’t think people really understand how hard it is to even just go to work and come home and then make dinner for myself. I hyper focus on one thing (work, mostly) and then get nothing else done the rest of my day. So this scheduling thing is really the best I can do to try and fit everything and everyone I care for into my life... it’s the best I can do, and I’m sorry about that, but I am trying.

Kind of why doing smaller replies on tumblr for rp would be best for me too. I just really can’t keep my focus on these things, and I want to enjoy writing and rp, I just cannot sit here for 2 months waiting on a long ass reply that isn’t going anywhere and still have that huge drive to drop multiple paragraphs in turn. I am patient, I do not rush anyone because I do not like to be rushed in turn. This is just the trend I’ve found myself falling into, because I write so much and get so much in return-- that we both need so much time to get the energy and drive to write a bunch for our replies, that I just... fall out of interest or drive when that reply comes in because I’ve been waiting too long for my brain’s liking. It’s not because I don’t want to reply or don’t want to write with you. It’s just my brain loses the drive and suddenly that exciting thread is less exciting, more like work. I don’t want that. So I’m doing my best to fix that ♡

2023 is the designated year to try and improve myself in every aspect ♡ as a person, in my outlook, inside and out-- Just improvements all around. The quote I’m living by is “Romanticize your life more; There is magic in every little thing. You just have to look hard enough.” So that’s what I’m trying to do ♡

This was a lot, so I’ll stop rambling pfft~ I hope everyone has a lovely day, take care of yourselves, and if you read all this?? You’re insane-- but also thank you, and I give you well wishes ♡ ♡ ♡ Okay... back to work I go!

#✿• ᴬ ʷᵉᵃᵛᵉʳ ᵒᶠ ᵗᵃˡᵉˢ; ᴾᵃⁱⁿᵗᵉʳ ᵒᶠ ˢᵗᵃʳˢ (M U N S P E A K S)#✿; status #//I rambled in the read-more but the gist is... I'm trying my best and 2023 will be the year I evolve into a better me c:#Sending love and good vibes to everyone~ if anyone wants to do anything or start something feel free to message me!//

5 notes · View notes

minuteminx · 1 year

Note

2, 4, 8, 13, 14, 18, 19, 22, 24, 27, 28, 29 (sorry i am just very curious)

Oh please do not apologize! I am so excited to have an opportunity to talk about my GORL at length. Thanks so much, non!

2. What are their opinions on factions?

Charlie is with Minutemen through and through. She appreciates that they’re trying to help everyone in the Commonwealth and make it a better place. She understands that they have their flaws, but they have personally been so helpful with her and haven’t asked for a ton in return.

She likes what the Railroad is trying to do, but struggles with their approach to people in need who aren’t synths. She gets frustrated very quickly trying to jump through hoops to prove that she is on their side.

In her canon, Charlie does not learn too much about the BoS. Her first interaction is helping Danse at the police station, but she does not join up. Her next real interaction with them is when she chooses to let them in on the Institutes plot at Mass Fusion. It’s a lesser of two evils situation and it’s ugly. She gets locked in a reactor room and Ingram is more concerned about the tech than her, so after that she’s really done working with them.

She really wanted to like the Institute, and she gave it a good old college try to have some sort of relationship with her son. However, their attitude toward the people of the commonwealth, people she came to know and befriend and love, really put her off. She blows them up.

4. Do they build up settlements or outposts?

Oh yeah. Charlie likes to ensure that settlements are not only functional but comfortable. It’s one of her primary focuses after she is done with the institute.

8. Do they like robots?

Loves them. Some of her favorite people are robots.

13. What prewar thing do they miss most?

The luxuries she took for granted: the food, running (warm!) water, not worrying about sprouting a third arm randomly.

14. What are their hobbies?

Charlie enjoys building things and tinkering, but she really loves photography. She’s always on the lookout for working cameras and film.

18. What are their opinions on ghouls?

She is not a fan of the feral sort, although she does feel sorry for them. I’ll mention this in her history section, but she finds them fascinating with regard to their cognitive decline because of her occupational background. As far as non-feral ghouls? They’re people. Just like anyone else.

19. What are their weapon choices?

Pistols, either 10mm or laser and modded to high Heaven

22. Give a brief history lesson of your OC.

Charlotte “Charlie Elise Smart is approximately 30 years old (plus 210). Before the war she was a neuropsychologist who specialized in Neurocognitive Disorders (think like Alzheimer’s, TBIs, etc). Shes panromantic demisexual and married her childhood best friend and only person she’s ever been with, Nate. They didn’t plan on kids, but Shaun was an accident she was very happy to have happen. Her life was really just getting started when the bombs fell and she is traumatized, heartbroken, and angry as hell.

24. Did they enjoy the Shroud Quests or think they’re stupid?

Charlie had a blast. She was a fan of the comics before the war and was happy to do something nice for Kent.

27. Who are your OCs favorite companions?

Preston is her romance and MacCready is her best bro. She also enjoys spending time with Valentine, Piper, and Hancock although they’re not as close.

28. Does your OC have main home?

She stays at Sanctuary Hills but may weekend at the Castle or Quincy every once in a while.

29. Give us a picture/screenshot/description.

#sole survivor #fallout 4 #charlie smart

6 notes · View notes

the-meandering-metaphysician · 1 year

Text

Reflections: Akebi-chan no Sailor-Fuku Episode 7

Guys, I gotta level with ya on this episode. It was long ago I watched this show. I was mostly drawn to it by it’s purely calming atmosphere at first. But as I moved on, it continually impressed me. When it dawned on me that nearly a year later, I still am haunted by the truths this episode made apparent to me, I knew it must have been at least good enough (If not exceptional) far more than I originally anticipated.

It culminates in the scene when Hebimori takes a walk after school, and witnesses everyone practicing for their club. The episode has an extreme attention to detail on the actual first steps of learning guitar. As a guitarist, I’m sure this gives special resonance to me. But even separate from that personal resonance, the message speaks to life as a whole. I’m sure none of us are strangers to lack of determination. Especially nowadays, with so many easy escapes available on the internet, that for many of us, it can feel an extremely difficult task keeping up everyday intensive hobbies, and through this neglect never experience that transformative and valuable joy of fighting for something and getting it.

This is where I’m am so continually amazed by children’s style fiction. In many ways, I think Moe speaks to people because it does capture that calming effect of early children’s cartoons. From having a comfortable and warming color tone, to somewhat predictable plots, driven by very pleasant characters, calming music, everything is designed to evoke peace. It not only calls to mind the effect these early television shows we used to watch, but the state of mind which we were in when our parents sought to calm us down by method of simple, calming, brain numbing audio-video materials. I assumed as I aged, I must have gotten smarter, and the merit once gained from them was no longer applicable to the me today. But realizing this connection between moe and children’s literature and fiction, I realize the relevance it still holds as a valid theme in all artistic works.

A Place Further than the Universe is a masterpiece, in a very different way that Les Miserables is. Yet, they both accomplish conveying an exceptionally deep message, and that’s why they both qualify as masterpieces. However, something like Les Miserables may initially seem more mature, it is rather just the detailed version of conveying some of the same messages. Whereas, much of Moe does the same thing, but in simpler terms. This is where Moe excels, it lowers your defenses. Makes you feel comfortable, safe, and not expecting anything to get too real. Hence, it is very functional for that purpose. However, there is the class of Moe (In my opinion, Quality Moe) that slips in those transformative moments, or in some cases, drops them glaringly in front of your face. Furthermore, since they are presented to such a childlike manner, it puts the deep, complex messages into words that even a child could understand. All of us, still having a piece or memory of what it was like to be that child, have a subconscious response to this. But when you think through your experience, and you realize it’s applicable to your life as an adult, you suddenly illuminate some of those lessons that slipped by you somehow. Or maybe, you just forgot them.

All the time, I try to systematize my life to enhance it. Make a schedule, get more done, think harder. All of these have merit no doubt, but all seek to exploit the bounties of life through third person management. But thinking of this as the more mature way to handle things, we feel somewhat scared to break this rule enough as is healthy. We get too focused on the frills we put in place, but forget to search or keep in mind the fundamental message. That which doesn’t need to be explained to be known. Those lessons you just used to hear repeated by mentors, TV shows and friends. And you always wondered, which ones would stay applicable, and which ones were bullshit made up to manipulate my dumb child brain?

That takes me too the club practice scene. Hebimori is on the verge of giving up, but comes to see so many of her peers and loved ones working so hard for what they’ve dedicated themselves too. From the gorgeous imagery, to the perfectly timed music, each one calls out to her. I always break down during this scene. As one of her classmates looks so distraught, and appears to be suffering so much from running, and it sinks in on Hebimori that she does this every day, and does it with enthusiasm, puts into contrast just how little she’s trying. Then, to the gut wrenching hollers of Akebi and the Drama Club President chanting vowels like drill sergeants, and the courage it takes for them to committing to embarrassing themselves in front of the school to pursue their hobby. Then, a more thoughtful reflection upon her roommate. As the music hangs, we hang in suspense waiting for her to make the shot, and she fails. But the shot doesn’t move on, and resumes for her second attempt, as the ball satisfyingly falls through the hoop, and we see a small token of her pay off from all her hard work. Framed so dramatically by the music and cinematography, yet such a small and seemingly mundane moment of progress. Even when slowed, it only lasts a few seconds at most.

That is the beauty of this style. The lens through which everything is viewed, is so earnestly optimistic that just like Hebimori feels outdone by her classmates, you too feel outdone by the show. Even though fictional, you look at these people and see just how much work they put in every day to build the life of the happy person they have a responsibility to be. They see everything through meaning-colored glasses. No matter the moment, every aspect of the direction is placed in order to convey the significance of the moment through anything but excessive words. It must be able to do so, on a level deeper than language. And if these characters who inspire you and give your day such a sweet nugget of joy, you feel challenged by them to see the worlds more beautifully. Or rather, by the work of art itself. And you think, if the world can look this beautiful, if you’re not seeing it this way for at least 25 minutes a day, then I don’t think you’re really living. Not to the fullest, at least.

Seeing the following arc where they hear Erika play the piano so beautifully. Hebimori is so encapsulated by its beauty, that the animation morphs into an even hazier, warmer version of the art than before, beaming rays of soft light mixing with its seas of blues. She is taken away for a moment, from herself, her surroundings, her worries and her aspirations. She experiences when music takes you out of the body, out of the mind. But then, returning from that after the song ends and the animation returns to normal, she feels so left out and dry after returning to earth, experiencing the double edged sword of transformative art. It’s inspiring, and one of the things that makes life worth living, but it is also so daunting. To know, there are people this much better than me out there? It challenges your validity as an artist entirely, to realize that the people where you’re shooting to reach, are so far out of your league that you can barely even comprehend it. She tries to run away, but Akebi being such a good friend, (in other words, a mad bro) holds Hebimori accountable with her earnest and goodhearted desire to hear her play.

The performance is definitely above average, but it pays attention to still encapsulating that quality of a passionate performance from a novice. That passion that captured, makes irrelevant the lack of otherwise necessary musical qualities. The rhythm is a bit of, the pitch isn’t perfect or the guitar out of tune. There’s not much I can say for this scene, because most of what it has to say can only be said through witnessing the beauty of this scene for the song. All I can really add, is that the cherry falls right on top when Akebi (being yet again a mad bro) claps so enthusiastically (like a child), and as if at a professional venue, that she is so earnestly proud of her friend, that she gives a full, loud, stupid looking standing ovation in the middle of an empty room. The vulnerability this character wears on her sleeve is absolutely endearing and inspiring, and I aspire to someday reach such levels of comfort with myself.

This episode reminds me that I need to seriously work at making my life and the worlds a better place if I truly want to see it happen. Luckily for me, I share a passion with the subject of this episode. So every day, I have the same reminder she does. The rusty stringed old friend leaning against the wall, begging me for my company. Remembering that if I truly love something, I need to invest in it every day. And maybe, if I do that, I really can change some things for the better.

The lessons these shows have taught me, I can never repay.

#anime #essays #music #philosophy #writing #moe #akebi chan no sailor fuku #akebi's sailor uniform #komichi akebi #cute girls doing cute things #sliceoflife #school life #life lessons

3 notes · View notes

mbtimes · 2 years

Note

Hello How Are You? I Hope You Are Fine. If You Are Not Busy And Free Can You Please Help Me With My MTBI Sorting?. Based On My MTBI It's Always INTP Then ISTP And INFP

I Can Help You Give My Likes And Dislikes And Hobbies Too 😊😊.

Likes

•Unbiased Of Solving Solution To A Problem Or Situation

•Having A Sympathy And Open MindedNess To Understand A Situation Or A Problem And Use Empathy If Needed Only.

•Accepting Mistakes And Flaws As Part Of Growing Up

•Self Worth Is Not Selfish If It Is Used In The Right Way And Also In The Right Timing Of Situation

•Rejection And Underestimation Of People Doesn't Make You What They Want To Be Instead Of What I Want To Be

Dislikes

•Narrowminded In Some Situation It Can Work But Not In Some Areas Of Life

•Short Tempered Because I Am Too

•Anger For No Reason

•Emotion Sometimes Don't Need In A Situation But I Am Rarely

•People Who Gossips And Use Their Free Time To Destroy People Lives

Hobbies

Reading

•Horror Books•Newspaper•Science •History And Articles

Mental Games

Chess (Even I'm Not Expert)

Jigsaw Puzzle

Memory Games

And Talking To Myself

That's All Thank You And I Sincerely Appreciate Your Reply.

Ok so your likes and dislikes as well as hobbies aren't going to be a clear indicator of your mbti type, what you need to look out for is why. The other bit is understanding how cognitive functions work, once you've figured out how cognitive functions work it becomes a lot easier at typing yourself. It also requires a bit of research, going onto sites like psychology junkie, personality junkie and humanmetrics are the top 3 I'd recommend due to their addition of cognitive functions in their profiling some better than others.

To put it plainly what you've described to me is something that can ring true for a lot of types, but judging based on what you're saying I personally wouldn't type you as an INFP as for ISTP and INTP well there are some questions you need to ask.

For INTP: Do you enjoy knowing the logical reasons for things, seeing patterns and figuring them out, solving things in your head, coming up with constant new ideas, as well as a desire to see what makes people tick and thus willingly push various buttons to see what the reaction is, also do you experiment on things a lot because doing the same thing over and over again doesn't give mental stimuli and is often boring?

For ISTP: Do you enjoy breaking things down and building them back up, do you hold a sense of the present is the most important and people should take things one day at a time, do you grow when people let you physically try it or experience it with your 5 senses to discover what you like and do like as well as how it works? Is there always something you've got on the go even though it may not be finished? Do you find not understanding how something logically and practically works frustrating? Thus wanting to dissect it in its entirety?

There are a lot more than that but just know that usually, ISTPs will enjoy making things practical and usually enjoy creating things or working with items or programs because they find it genuinely fun, or do you ponder things over, calculate, recalculate come up with a conjecture see if that conjecture is right, doubt yourself find yourself having a hard time making decisions like an INTP? Once again, knowing yourself takes research and the key to a lot of it is asking the question why.

Lastly, if I were to go by statistics alone, it would be more likely on you being an ISTP, however, that is not confirmed and once again is something you need to ponder, and by ponder I mean doing research.

#mbti #myers briggs #16 personalities #it's not simple to type a person based on traits and hobbies alone #as those traits and hobbies can apply to a wide variety of types not just 3 #the reason is always asking why

3 notes · View notes