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fridayyy-13th · 6 months

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i swear sometimes i think people forget that Jon's s1 skeptic act was just that—an act. it was an act!!! he believes the statements!! he's believed them since episode one! do we so soon forget that he denied the statements were real because he knew the Eye something wanted him to be scared, and he knew that was bad, so he decided to act like the statements just didn't scare him? remember, he was working with extremely limited information ("when i record the tape statements, i feel watched, like something knows i'm afraid, and i don't want it to know that"), and came up with a genuinely solid solution with what he had! not his fault that the thing watching him was a literal unknowable eldritch entity that feeds on fear, and he was just some underqualified archivist.

#sorry. saw a post and got a little angry about it #like bro! he literally tells martin in a fan-favorite conversation that it! was! an! act!#we KNOW he's believed in the supernatural since age eight!#i'm so tired of the ''lol haha jon didn't believe the OBVIOUSLY real statements but they still spooked him'' posts #i will not take this blorbo slander #leave my guy alone he tried his best. and was scared out of his mind while doing it #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #friday chats #it's like 1:30 am if this is moderately incoherent don't come at me

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carissime · 7 months

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Literally no thoughts just Gojo after your wedding carrying you over the threshold of your hotel room. You’re not leaving for your honeymoon until the morning but he nearly trips on the doorframe in his haste.

“You really don’t need to carry me—”

“But it’s tradition, we need to consummate the marriage!” he insists. Within seconds his lips are against yours and he’s fumbling with the light switch, and you finally swat his hand away and just beg him to take you to the bed.

He works the zipper of your dress down, part of him sad that he’s not going to see you in this gorgeous gown again, but then it reveals your white lace lingerie and the groan he lets out is broken and guttural and desperate.

This is far from the first time he’s seen you like this, but there’s something about this moment here and now that makes it so much more intense, so much more intimate and he just never wants to let you go.

“Satoru,” you whisper, and his breath hitches.

He leans down to capture your lips in a kiss. “Shh, I know. Just lemme take care of you, like I promised.”

And when he sees the gold band on his fourth finger pressing into the skin of your hips as he sheaths himself inside of you, he nearly loses himself, sending up a prayer to whatever gods are listening that he can keep his promise to keep you safe and happy forever.

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cornettotism · 4 months

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Honestly, there's something about the sheer horror on Spock's face when he thinks he's killed Kirk in amok time that always hits me like a fucking truck.

Now, I know this discussion probably isn't anything new to the spirk community, but jesus christ. Every time I watch that scene, I go from "Oh my god this is so gay. How the hell did the writers and production team not look at shatner and nimoy rolling around in the sand together and go 'yeah seems totally heterosexual' " to "Oh my god. This is so fucking sad."

The pure horror and shock on Spock's face when he snaps out of the fever and realises what he's done (or what he thinks he's done) is so....AAAA

I can't even put into words how it makes me feel, it just makes me so not normal about the show and those two as a whole all over again.

He thought he'd KILLED HIM. BY HIS OWN HAND. DURING A PROCESS HE SEEMED TO BE VERY ASHAMED TO TALK ABOUT AND HE SMILED WHEN HE SAW KIRK ALIVE AND AJAJSJ-

#i go insane about spirk #day however many its been #amok time is such a good episode in general #but this scene #man.#k/s #spirk #james t kirk #s'chn t'gai spock #star trek tos #star trek #ollie rambles #sorry this is so incoherent #i am having feelings.

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egophiliac · 10 months

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We ARE going to bring up Captain Amelia. You have good taste! GOOD TASTE I SAY! *aka I just rewatched Treasure Planet and got hit with, "Oh yeahhhhh... that explains a lot!"*

honestly, the Meg/Jasmine/Amelia trifecta tells you 90% about me as a person. (the rest is covered by Sailor Jupiter and Sailor Uranus and, uhhh, I'll stop baring my soul to the world now)

and speaking of Amelia, this is tangential, but like -- there's one Twst comic I have been kicking at for a while where I needed an RSA sports/flight teacher and, uh, well

someday I will wrangle this stupid comic into coherency and she'll get to make an appearance (in the background of a single panel, half-obscured by a tall hat) (but I will know she's there and that's the important thing)

#art #twisted wonderland #twst oc #my plan worked i've tricked you all into looking at my anime catgirl oc #she exists to yell at some rsa boys so she doesn't really have like. a character or story or anything. sorry!#(her name is alexandria north and that is what she considers a sporty outfit. that's as far as i got)#this is the one that is mainly about silver and neige having a mutual bluebird friend and i am having terrible trouble making it not suck #which given some of the stuff i post should tell you something about how it's going so far #(it's just kind of an incoherent mess of ideas at this point. nothing specific just ~the creative process~)#maybe the rest of episode 7 will give my brain the kickstart it needs. depends on how that goes i guess #god. the next episode 7 bit drops in (probably) just a few days.#I'M NOT READY #i have simultaneously never been ready and always been ready #i exist in a perpetual state of impatience

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regular-dog · 4 months

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Hey @five-rivers, happy truce! I decided to go with your prompt about danny attending a cultural ritual or event, and themed it around the far frozen. My explanation for it got a little longwinded so I've included it under a read more, along with a little extra art!

(tumblr’s probably gonna crunch all of these up a bit, so click for better quality)

I'll be honest, I haven't actually thought out the exact details of what this event would be, just the broad strokes - I tend to gravitate towards food as a source of celebration in my own worldbuilding, and I guess that bled through here as well in the form of “ice = water = probable fish based diet = important fish event?”

During drafting I couldn’t really decide between “event centred around observing fish migration and/or other seasonal habits” or “Danny being invited to come fishing with Frostbite and the other yeti”, but honestly I think either of those would probably fit. Originally I had planned to have one or two yeti characters swimming around with him to make the piece more dynamic, but a surprise attack from a migraine kind of cut into my plans a bit and I decided to downsize.

...at least until I got annoyed by the lack of a visible ghost friend in the piece and decided to paint a “small” “”extra”” “””doodle””” which rapidly turned into a whole other Thing,

There are shockingly few ghost fish in the show, apparently, or at least I could neither remember nor find images online of any examples, so I just kind of winged it. Their design is partially inspired by a short story you wrote a while back, although I ended up drifting away from the zebrafish motif as I was drafting them. I started thinking of them as maskfish as a stand-in name, and then promptly forgot to think of a better one, so. Maskfish it is. Here's some random notes I made while conceptualising them, because I constantly have specbio on the brain and couldn't not think about it

Maskfish flesh turns an opaque pale colour when cooked, and remains translucent when raw

Their eyes are covered in a clear, hard exterior, and can be hollowed out and sterilised for use in various crafts; along similar lines I could also see their bones being used to make glues, paints, and other such resources.

Their cores are located at the top of the spinal cord, in the head; their mouths are located on the underside, beneath the "mask", which makes up the entire top part of the head, and is a singular piece of a shell-like material.

Though they aren't particularly agressive hunters, they also aren't picky about their food, and will generally eat anything smaller than themselves.

Aaand finally, here's a bunch of isolated scans, since procreate ate a lot of the fine details in the collaging process.

#sorry this is a bit late the past weeks been a bit tiring. yknow how it is #danny phantom #phandom truce 2023 #phandomholidaytruce #danny phantom fanart #unsure whether it would be more accurate to tag this as digital or traditional so i guess its just #art #i am going to go pass out now sorry if this was mildly incoherent

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sentientsky · 3 months

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hey do u ever think about how crowley's eyes (a feature he's worked to hide nearly his entire time on earth) were fixated so so so firmly on aziraphale during the final fifteen, to the point where he followed the tiniest of movements, even as tears began to form in his waterline? even as his not-quite-human-heart was splintering in his chest?

CAUSE I DO

how was this permitted to be aired???? knowing full well that angsty queers like me would be sliding down the wall sobbing about it???? (also, if u want to read more about crowley and his eyes, i am once again recommending one of alex's metas: x)

anyway! full gif below the cut!

yippee!

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 9 months

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i don't know what order to start Dissecting, so i'll just start with:

it's absolutely fascinating how the dynamic Wally & Barnaby had - to my knowledge - before the update, and a dynamic i'd seen speculated elsewhere and generally accepted, has been completed turned on its head

see, given that Wally is the "main character" and Barnaby is classified as "his best friend", i got the feeling that Barnaby kind of... tags along on Wally's 'shenanigans'. that he's the sidekick, the best friend. especially since their dynamic has been previously & briefly described as "Barnaby is very polite to Wally." he's the Companion.

but the audios sorta paint a reverse picture. in the Interview, when Barnaby enters stage right, he completely bowls over Wally's introduction and dominates the interview. when the interviewer asks how the two of them are handling the fame, even outright asking Wally, Barnaby doesn't hesitate to answer the question himself, and only about himself. Wally doesn't get another word in edge-wise until the interviewer explicitly singles Wally out.

(now, an argument could be made that Barnaby knew that Wally was somewhat overwhelmed with all of the questions, and tried to take the reins to give him a reprieve. but, considering that the interview seems to be very early on the possible timeline - like, very soon after Welcome Home debuted - i don't think this is likely. i doubt Barnaby and Wally would've had the time to solidify their dynamic or really get to know each other that well yet)

and Barnaby continues to take point in pretty much all of their other conversations, too. like in the mystery Howdy/Barnaby/Wally audio, their interaction gives off the vibes that Wally is Barnaby's sidekick, his tag-along.

(on a related tangent, it's fascinating how the website described the episodes as "[beginning] with Wally introducing the focus or theme for the day before coming across other characters who would join him on his escapades until the end of the day." but from pretty much everything we've seen so far, it seems like He's the one who's just along for the ride, bouncing from neighbor shenanigan to neighbor shenanigan instead of having his own adventures.

of course, if the 14 audios are present time, which is honestly somewhat likely, this could be because the show isn't running. they aren't doing episodes - they're just existing, doing their things. no need for Wally to take point in any way shape or form. tangent over)

in the 14 audios with Barnaby, he doesn't even acknowledge Wally until the very end - which, of course, could be because that's how the scenes are set up. except that in some of them, the characters do directly acknowledge Wally's presence outside of the endings. Eddie in 5-14, Howdy and Poppy in 1-14, and Frank in 4-14 (technically, since he was infodumping to Wally at the very start before Barnaby interrupted). you'd think that a guy would try to include his best friend a little more!

maybe i'm reading into it too much. & given what we know about Wally as a character, it would make sense for Barnaby to be the go-getter Main Guy of the two. but it really seems like its Barnaby & Wally instead of Wally & Barnaby. he's just kinda... there. going along with whatever Barnaby is up to.

but also, on the other side of things - & it's occurring to me as i type this, it's interesting how in a lot of audios, Barnaby seems to seek Wally out. in "Just So", he shows up to fetch Wally. in 4-14, Barnaby interrupts Frank and Wally's gardening session, almost as if he's stopping by to check on his little buddy. in 7-14, Barnaby calls Julie's house (presumably) searching for Wally, or at least checking in once again. something to consider in all of this!

#and if the 14 audios are in the same day along a timeline - which they Are. im trying to puzzle it out rn but anyway -#its interesting how barnaby just kept. checkin. in.#they had three audios where they were already hanging out and then got two (technically three) more where barnaby checked in!#it feels like there's something there...#separation anxiety? a compulsion? love for his buddy? a secret fourth thing?#maybe he could tell something was Off with wally that day...#(which is a topic i will ramble about in a different post)#its a push & pull to be certain....#but yeah that plus all the evidence of Barnaby kinda being the Lead and wally being brushed off to the side....#what a complicated fuckin picture it paints!!! dont know what it means yet!#i have another post im working on centering on how the neighbors seem to treat each other - wally & eddie especially #but this post aint about that. itll be related though #homebogging #wh speculation #please let this have made sense!#when i make posts i just kinda throw myself at it bc i have No organizational skills!#my brain is a complete incoherent mess and i am so sorry if this post is messy <3

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uhbasicallyjustmilex · 3 months

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so… i met miles last night 😭😭

i’m still trying to formulate the words to express how special it was to meet him and how unbelievably lovely he was. i mean, i obviously already knew how lovely he is - but getting to experience it in person is truly something else altogether. he just absolutely radiates good vibes and warmth and truly feels like sunshine in human form ☀️ i also loved that because i tend to be on the quieter side in these situations (after telling him how amazing the show was my brain went pretty blank lol), he actually asked me questions about what songs i’d most enjoyed etc and really engaged with me and also gave me the LOVELIEST hug 🥹

if possible, meeting him has only made me adore and respect him even more than i already did (truly quite an impressive feat), and i just feel so unbelievably grateful to have got to witness the smile on his face when i told him how much i’d loved the show 💖

#sorry this is probably incoherent because i am still absolutely GIDDY 😭😭#also i’m going to share details/photos/videos of the show later because oh my godddddd #it was absolutely AMAZING 🤩#SO much happened #but i need a little more energy to sift through all my photos and also type up a remotely coherent version of events lol #aghhhhhhhh #AHHHHHHH #i have lost all capacity for words #i literally can’t remember the last time i was so ridiculously happy 🥹#miles kane #omb tour #mk glasgow 2024 #my show #lulu posts

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fragilecapric0rnn · 2 years

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LISTEN. I was ready to ride the Steve Becomes A Teacher train all the way home. It’s in my fics, it’s in my planned fics. But but but LISTEN.

Steve becoming a first responder?

A little bit post-S4, Steve is driving home to Hawkins after moving to Indy/Chicago/a major city that’s still within reasonable driving distance for him to come see the kids. Eddie is in the passenger seat and they’re zooming down the highway, one of those picture perfect moments where they’re singing along to a Madonna song, that Eddie was complaining about just moments ago.

Steve, always striving to be the safest driver on the road, mostly because he is almost always transporting precious cargo in the form of his loved ones, isn’t the one who sees it at first. It isn’t until Eddie loudly gasps and points out a pretty horrific car accident unfolding before their eyes in the next lane over.

Steve pulls off to the side, a fair distance behind wreck. One of the cars is turned completely around in the other direction, the front smashed in. The other cars are also damaged, but the passengers are getting out. No one has gotten out of the turned around car.

Without a word, without questions from either of them, the two get out of the Beamer. Eddie goes up to the other cars, a woman who’s crying her eyes out and a young family all looking spooked out of their minds, but all seemingly alright. All of this is happening in Steve’s peripheral because he is now sprinting toward the car that no one has gotten out of. He sees the shape of the driver, head laid back on the headrest, unconscious.

“Don’t move her!” “We need to wait for help!” Bystanders yell at him. Steve doesn’t respond, the driver door now open, as he checks the girl, who looks so young that mental images of one of his kids being in her place flash across his brain, tug at his heart.

“Eddie!” He yells past the lump in his throat, but it looks like his boyfriend was already reading his mind, as he runs over with the first aid kit that’s always stationed in the trunk of his car.

He finds her pulse as Eddie settles beside him. He’s checking for broken bones as the girl comes to. He’s telling her to sit back and that everything is okay as Eddie is yelling at the crowd forming around them to back up, he knows what he’s doing.

Steve gets the flashlight out of the kit, shining it in her eyes, asking her what her name is, what day it is, who the president is, she hesitates to answer but answers all the questions.

Eddie isn’t sure if this first aid knowledge is from all the times Steve’s been assessed after all the Upside Down shit or if it’s because of his own research, though he realizes as watches Steve keep the girl calm and gently keep her from moving around at all, it’s both.

Eddie continues to watch when the ambulance gets to the scene. He watches Steve tell the EMTs that the girl is concussed and has no other visible injuries. He watches as they assess her themselves and as they ask Steve if he’s off duty, motioning to his extensive first aid kit. Steve just says he’s had his fair share of emergencies and he knows what he’s doing.

After the ambulance leaves, Steve and Eddie walking back to their car, even though traffic is backed up all the way to their apartment it seems, Eddie can’t stop thinking about how easily Steve fit into the “hero” role. How, sure, it’s residual Savior Of The World shit, but can’t it also be more now that the world is saved?

When they’re back on the road, hours later, and close to home, Eddie asks,

“Have you ever thought about becoming a paramedic?”

Steve doesn’t say anything. But he’s thinking. No, he hasn’t thought about it. But maybe he should start thinking about it.

#fic drabble #EMT Steve? I can see it. It's all I can see actually #steddie headcanon #steve harrington #this might be silly but i couldn't stop thinking about it at work #we get a lot of EMTs in the AM and it got me THINKING #my writing #i wrote this speedy quick so sorry in advance for typos or generally being incoherent #first responder steve #sen writes #my fic

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kaseyskat · 4 months

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sick as hell thinking about how normal assumed that the reason he feels unloved is because his dad has always blamed him a little bit for the falling out of his own family and that it’s always been normals fault so no wonder his dad isn’t proud of him. except sparrow already told normal the reason he said he wasn’t proud he said it was because he was just so worried for normals happiness and future it twisted into a negative thing we literally already know this. thinking about how sparrow tells little normal that one day normal is never going to forgive him for what he’s done nor does sparrow think he should and thinking about how sparrow says normal is too kind for their world and that’s why he’s so worried, because the world is mean and normal is kind and one day it’s going to destroy him. it has destroyed him. do you think sparrow knows that if normal had found out the truth in any other way he might’ve forgiven his dad for it? do you think that’s what sparrow was so afraid of, why sparrow held himself at an arms distance? what would be worse? the son that you doomed a world for finding out about you and hating you just as you knew he would, or the son that you kept at a distance finding out and forgiving you for it forcing you to confront the fact that maybe you aren’t the irredeemable monster you think you are and maybe that your parents were wrong? what would be worse? would it be easier to just never let yourself truly bond to your son not because you blame him for anything but because you loved him enough to doom a world for him and you’ve been told that was the wrong decision and now you don’t know what to do with yourself? and now your son doesn’t think you like him and he’s wrong you love him so much you tried so hard to protect him from this. and you never get the chance to tell him as much because the actual monster of the story stole your face. what would you do in that scenario? i don’t know.

#dndads #kasey rambles #this is incoherent i’m so sorry #i am so sick i have covid again i just also #love them.#sparrow oak garcia #normal oak #i think if they got the chance to talk they’d be okay #it’s just. sparrow projecting onto normal so badly #he’s so afraid normal will make the same choices sparrow did and be ostracized for them #it makes me so sick i need them to talk so bad

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mirusx · 3 months

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does anyone grasp the depth of grief, persistence, and hope all at the same time from these supposedly just system notifications? please bear with me and my incoherence bcs i might actually be losing my mind????? i apologize in advance

[Story, --, has begun its storytelling once more.]

[Story, --, is continuing on with its storytelling.]

and then kindly replace those '--' with a story like "Life and Death Companions" or other stories affiliated with kdj and kimcom.

Orv has repeatedly emphasized how people are stories and how we are all just stories trying to understand each other. Seeing these 'stories' that were made from kdj and other's connection trying to continue on and starting once more evoke emotions deep inside me. Because Kdj and every member of kimcom live on through these 'stories', they embody the stories that they obtain. They're the ones who want to continue on and to begin once more. Because 'once more' implies that it has already come to an end at one time, and 'continuing on' means persevering despite of.

like resisting permanent death.

It's like no matter what catastrophe befall the world or the universe and how long these stories and connections may stay dormant, they will always awaken once someone remembers them. Once someone speaks of them. It's like how people have this irrational fear of being forgotten, and so being remembered, being told, and being shared just like a story somehow realize our existences. And we all know that these system notifications appear when the people involved in the story are wielding their shared story/experience to get through something(scenarios) or to someone(between themselves) and hope that the stories they've created are good enough to be acknowledged. Whenever the system narrates a story— one, both, or all of the parties included in the story want to be seen, recognized, and understood as we all crave to be good enough to continue being somebody in at least someone's story— in someone's life. It's like our souls despairing and rejoicing at the same time, "i'm here! i'm still here. i'm still continuing on. our story's still existing.", pleading to be read.

and so once someone recognizes our story, connected with us, and understood us— our story continues on despite of, and it begins once more even when it might have ceased at one point. It tells this new story of not being forgotten

and how our existences— our already written stories, always endure. just like theirs.

....the grief, the persistence, and the hope of it all.

[Story, Life and Death Companions, has begun its storytelling once more.]

[Story, Life and Death Companions, is continuing on with its storytelling.]

fuck did this even make sense im so sorry. i just really needed to get this off my head, it's rotting my brain

#nothing is more stubborn than the stories that love dokja‚ they will always prevail and conquer anything #so u better be back with them dokja cause i really cant anymore #why am i writing this at 6am with no sleep #is this even coherent im sleepy #this is all because of all the post epilogue fanworks that ive seen and read and how almost all of them incorporated those-#system notifications whenever kdj the company reunites or have a very meaningful moment #and it just shattered my brain #is yhis cringe imnsleeoy im sorry #now im sleepless and incoherent zfuck #please someone say that u at least undestood what im tryna say 😭#im not good with expressing i suck ass at it #orv #omniscient readers viewpoint #omniscient reader #omniscient reader's viewpoint #kim dokja #kim dokja's company #kimcom #han sooyoung #yoo joonghyuk #life and death companions #joongdok #kdj #yjh

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digital999placebo · 5 months

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in any human GerIta AU, DA ONLY WAY I can think of these two meeting is in central Berlin, early December, around 23pm on a Wednesday or Thursday…. Feliciano is on his way home from having a glass of wine with his friends at a bar, he’s in a good mood and despite the cold he’s wearing his long winter coat unbuttoned… he’s swaying on the sidewalk and suddenly slips and falls, despite the circumstances rather gracefully. Ludwig, the stranger closest to Feliciano, decides to step in and help the guy, simply bc Ludwig is a nice man and not at all bc Feliciano is hawt and sexy and looks like his wet dreams from high school (and also NOT AT ALL. bc Ludwig’s brain has been conditioned into thinking he only has value when serving others). Anyway, despite Ludwig’s help, Feliciano CANNOT get his balance locked in and keeps slipping in Ludwig’s arms, despite Ludwig having a literal iron grip on him ……. alas Feliciano ends up piggy back riding Ludwig, across frosty cobblestone streets lit up by Christmas lights strung between buildings where the windowsills r covered with snow and decorated with greenery ……. n the night is deep and blue and LOVE is in da air …… and from a bar, half empty save the middle aged regulars, u can hear smooth jazz as Feliciano drunkenly points out the directions of his apartment. Anyway this works for literally almost all time periods and I will NOT take any criticism . Talk to the hand this is how they meet as humans

#and Feliciano is like: bet u want my number huh when Ludwig’s drops him off #but in like a teasing n flirty way #n Ludwig wasn’t in for it for the number but HEY if the hot dude is offering why not #so Ludwig very shyly just: s-sure >\\\\\<‘ and Feliciano is like: HM… IDKKK I just met youuu #n plays coy only to toy with Ludwig n Ludwig falls for it #AT LAST THO Ludwig leaves with felicianos number and he’s so giddy about it #goes home and lays on his bed and kicks his feet while texting: the ride home was alright?#or no Ludwig would NEVER text first he’s a pussy #it’s Feliciano who was like: next time I’d like another sort of ride #or something balh blah sex joke obligatory nympho Feliciano moment #first headcanon post forever I’ve forgotten da format sorry if this is so incoherent lol #GerIta #I am locking in for this u need to get my vision of that cozy snow weather … the little lights everywhere ….. the Christmas decoration in #shops #DO YOU GET IT ?!?!?

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eyesoftxmorrow · 1 year

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i'm not rly the type for mcyt stuff, but i think i finally managed to articulate why qsmp in particular just feels so incredibly special to me.

it's the way that the language proficiency of literally everyone involved is slowly evolving the longer they play together. the way that the english speaking players are making an effort to talk to one another in spanish and vice versa. when this thing started i remember hearing from multiple eng povs that they had to lean a lot on the google translate tab (and thats ok!), but something that really excites me is when i see those same eng ccs express how much they want to learn more about speaking spanish bc it's a way that thet can genuinely connect with their fellow players.

it's not even the fact that it's a minecraft smp; that just Happens to be the medium through which we get to watch this unfold. it's the first time, at least to my knowledge, that we're able to watch both the spanish and english-speaking communities bond over a game they love at a level as involved as this. both sides of the community are equally prominent, and more importantly, they're united in a way that i've never really observed in an online space until now. genuinely ive never seen anything like this before and its just really fascinating to see how all the players take on the challenge of building that bridge over something that once was a communication barrier for them. i love language i love cooperative gaming i love humans having fun learning new things from one another

#qsmp #sorry if this is incoherent its 2 am and im having feelings ab this series #as someone who spent their entire college career studying spanish and psychology and communications this smp is like the perfect storm #finally. a social experiment made specifically for me /J #the lore and the eggs and all that are just as entertaining ofc #but i think that the linguistic implications is what really got me invested. ygwim?#huge HUGE props to quackity for putting this smp together man. he really has created something so incredibly special #skip speaks

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skoulsons · 1 year

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You have no idea what I’m capable of

Her screams rang in her ears as she shot awake, hastily sitting up in her bed as the white moonlight still trickled in through the uncovered windows. 3:24am.

“Fuck,” she groaned, rubbing the pads of her palms over her eyes with enough pressure to form splotchy colors and wavy patterns in her vision.

Her heavy comforter, a welcome home gift from Tommy and Maria, was wrapped around her small frame, her socked feet showing through where the comfort wasn’t bunched up. She balled it up in her fists as she held it close to her chin. “He’s gone.” She inhaled, held the breath, and exhaled, a small exercise Joel taught her. Not one hundred percent effective, but it helped. Sometimes. “He’s gone.”

A few minutes of breathing, memories with Joel, and tossing and turning in bed did nothing to wipe the images out of her head. Frustrated, she wrapped the comforter around her, waddling out of her room and down the hall to Joel’s.

As always, his door was open. It was always more for her than him; an effort to say you are welcome to come in. She took it most nights. But tonight…she felt guilty, almost. She bothered him a lot. He was sick of her by now. He must’ve been.

She brought herself to the wall beside his door and backed up against it, slowly sliding her comforter-wrapped self to the floor with a small “oof” as she hit the hardwood.

“Ellie?” Shit.

She closed her eyes, trying to keep quiet, hoping he’d fall back asleep if she didn’t make any noise.

He called again, his accent very strong. “Kiddo? Everythin’ alright?”

She exhaled as she stood, not getting any closer to his door. Her voice was quiet, shy. “Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you”

His fingers reached out from his bed, gently opening the door open a smidge more. “You’re awake for a reason. What’s goin’ on?”

“Nothing, just…I’ll go back to bed.”

“Hey.” His voice was so soft. Never demanding, always inviting. “C’mere,” he asked, nudging his door open a little more with his fingers.

She smiled slightly, pushing his door open the remainder of the way with her foot, her arms still around herself to keep the comforter held in place.

Without a word, she walked to the other side of the bed, pulling the sheets down far enough to fit her the comforter in his bed. She laid down on her right side, facing Joel, and bent her knees, tucking herself into a mini cocoon beside him.

Joel cleared his throat slightly, his hands resting on his stomach. “You know…I have blankets on this bed already.”

“Nothing wrong with an extra one,” she mumbled, face tucked into the slack of her comforter.

He turned his head towards hers, unable to find her eyes. His voice was quiet and gentle, his Texan drawl still making itself known. “What was it tonight?”

Ellie sighed. “The same.”

She wiggled herself closer to him and rested her head on his bicep, his hands still on his stomach. Her knees followed suite, pushing up against the side of his thigh as she tucked herself away against him.

“Ya okay?”

“Mmhm…just needed…” she trailed off, sighing into his arm.

He wiggled said arm out from under her and brought it around her, pulling her closer to him as her head rested over his heart.

“Go to sleep,” he whispered, lips finding her auburn as she dozed off, Joel holding her close to his side.

#currently 3/26 am #got off call an hour ago with Meg saying I was gonna go to sleep #sorry brother I lied #I love you our call was great #anyway take this #I cant not write physical touch #I love it so much #season 2 snuggles pleathe 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻#this might be incoherent #very very very sleepy rn #the last of us hbo #joel miller #ellie williams #the last of us #L writes #that’s my fucking brother

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mommalosthermind · 5 months

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So I'm slowly starting to come to understand that we shouldn't censor things but also I'm still a little uncomfortable with the site allowing things like pedophilia to be written in a way that's romanticized. I get it. Avoid it since I don't like it but at what point do we say, 'hmm this isn't okay.' I mean I get it, fiction doesn't hurt people but if that were truly the case then why are we lobbying for rep/realism/etc in media? Fiction, at some point, has to have some effect on real life.

Hello darling! I got your second ask too, please don’t worry, you’re definitely not coming across as unkind.

And you’re definitely not the only one to have similar thoughts or concerns.

But my answer’s going to be the same.

There is no such thing as a little censorship, and opening that particular can of pringles is not going to end happily for anyone. It’s better to not open it at all. And yes, that means people will create deeply fucked up things. But they should have the ability to do so, just like you should have the ability to avoid the hell out of it.

(Which, for AO3, is where I start in on my tag your shit appropriately/read the fucking tags!!! Rants. Learned the hard way a million years ago when I *thought* I was reading something very very different than I was, so when I got to ‘Character has sex with a dog’ I lost my mind, then realized I fucked up and hadn’t read the tags. If I had, I would have noped out of that fic immediately. So. That entire encounter was on me.)

“At what point is this not okay?” Well, that’s the whole point, isn’t it? Who would be in charge of deciding where the line goes? Who gets to decide what goes on which side of the line?

The last anon seemed to think writing was the same as doing, and thus writing shouldn’t be allowed at all.

And then got annoyed when I pointed out how often those unsavory themes happen in movies or TV without any warning at all, and generally, people move right past it.

Fiction doesn’t hurt people. People hurt people.

My favorite comparison is still my kitchen curtains, because my curtains are still weird: fairies, trees. Very witchy. I’ve seen people do literal double takes over my curtains. I can tell by the way they squint they can’t stand them or don’t understand why I would want something so *non-traditional* in such a public part of my house. They keep their damned mouths shut though, because they know its rude to tell me to change my curtains to fit their idea of a kitchen. (And also because I’d toss them out after laughing my ass off but that’s not relevant)

Person A has an idea of what ‘acceptable’ levels are, but that’s much much less than person B. Who wins? No one.

And no one should have the power to just decide things like that.

It’s stupid o’clock at night where I am, so I’m not about to go digging for studies, but I know we’ve got pretty solid proof that media doesn’t cause behaviors spontaneously. At the risk of sounding old, but this same argument once was applied to music, too. The weird compromise was slapping content warnings for language/sex/violence on CD’s. (Y’know. A significantly less useful form of tagging?) It didn’t… really do shit for anyone. Other than make those CD’s more attractive to teens, tbh. But. The argument at the time was rap and rock were violent and would make kids go insane and violent just by listening.

It… didn’t. It still doesn’t.

Reading dark fic isn’t going to cause someone to do something out of the blue.

Someone who’s debating doing the thing might seek out media about whatever their obsession is, yes. But their obsession was already there. Fic, music, movies, they’re not going to create it. I’d wager those girls who murdered their friend and blamed ‘slenderman’ had signs long before they went that far.

Part of the problem with this entire thought is that it’s thought policing. Folks assume the thought equals the sin. And as someone with pretty wonky intrusive thoughts and a long family history of mental issues— no. I have weird ass thoughts all the time. ‘Huh, I’m up high, I should jump, maybe I’ll float.’ I’m not gonna act on them. I know they’re weird thoughts. I’m not gonna float, I’d just die. Your brain just… says things sometimes. Some of us more than others. Therapy’s helpful for folks who struggle with that.

Fiction’s got nothing to do with it, though. Fiction just represents someone else working through their lives.

Melissa Etheridge wrote a song (scarecrow) about Matthew Sheppard’s murder. She didn’t cause anyone else to go torture another lonely gay boy to death. She was working through her grief at losing another one of us. And we worked through our grief when she sang.

Art is made for the making of it. Fiction—even the kind that squicks you— is still art.

As for the other part of your ask, the representation? I’m not sure I see the connection you’re trying to make. When people talk about rep, they’re talking about making the characters more authentic, more reflective of the beautiful range of humanity at large. Not seven brown haired white guys and one bitchy white woman and the unnamed not-white side character used for shit jokes. There should be a rainbow of humans in media, because little black girls deserve to know they’re strong and smart and beautiful. Because queer kids of all sizes and shapes deserve to know they’re loved. Because boys should get to be princesses. Because people with chronic illnesses, disabilities, they should get to be part of the stories. Because white folk need to see the rest of the world as human. Folks want to see themselves in the heroes, the happiness, the successes.

Too many kids never get to see themselves on the screen or read about people who look like them.

I loved belle as a kid because she looked like me and she loved reading. I loved Ariel because she wanted to be free. I cried over encanto because I know what it’s like to be excluded, what it’s like to be the big sister. I cried over reading red white and royal blue because the gays get to live and they’re happy. Everyone should have some way to connect.

The realism bit,though, I don’t think is the consumers as a whole. Yeah, some folks prefer it, but from what I’ve seen over the last 20 years, it’s more like the people who control most popular media have decided that’s what they wanna make. I don’t care for it, tbh. Media doesn’t need to be an exact copy of the real world.

Stories are meant as a place of solace, or at least a place that is different, than your day to day.

I like stories that have soft, happy ever afters. We’ve worked through the Big Bad Thing and come out stronger for it and now we get our well deserved rest. The real world doesn’t give me those things. Other people look at the state of the world, read seriously fucked up shit, and then go, well, at least my life isn’t that. It could be worse! And this is their happy place.

So. I’m not sure I’m much help here, but tl;dr: remember the tenets of fandom:

1) kinktomato: your kink is not my kink and that is okay. (You like this, I do not, I’m gonna leave it alone, the end.)

2) DLDR: Don’t like? Don’t read. Filtering and blocking are your besties.

3) ship and let ship (or sit down) — don’t press your dislike onto the people who do like. Let ‘em alone, go find what you do like.

4) tag appropriately, read the damn tags.

5) curate your own spaces. You alone are responsible for your online existence/experiences

6) have fun. Enjoy it. Be weird. Be silly. Be fucked up. Be unrepentantly yourself. Don’t let anyone else take that away from you.

#momma talks #asks #answered asks #censorship #i am very tired its like 1 am so this is probably more incoherent than I think it is im so sorry

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doberbutts · 5 months

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hey so feel free to delete this if its inappropriate/not the right time to share it

i’m a trans woman and (obviously) i can’t get pregnant, but i did get sexually assaulted by some guys trying to show was one of them. and also having an m marker has caused issues with trying to access resources and shit.

idk this isnt the same thing and all but my point is that im standing with u as some random trans woman with vaguely parallel experiences and im sorry to hear its somehow even worse & more likely for some of yall.

I wanr to preface this with a disclaimer, to get things out of the way first.

I am not trying to say that trans women do not experience devastating sexual assaults. They do. Quite often. Though to me, even once is too often. Rape and sexual assault are terrible, awful things. It's horrible that anyone has been made to go through this.

Nor am I trying to say that your M marker doesn't get in the way of things. When it comes to the domestic violence you experience, or the homelessness rates, or a determination of what prison you go to (esp since y'all are more likely to be wrongfully accused and arrested), or the various aspects of your own reproducive healthcare, your agab and gender marker is absolutely used as a weapon against you.

The question was asked for a unique example. Unfortunately, the conversation around reproductive rights is much different for me than it is for you. But it's also much different for me than for cis women and cis men as well. Those without a functional uterus cannot get pregnant. Those who cannot get pregnant are not forcibly married off to be raped until pregnant as a means of detransition and correction. This misogyny we share with cis women.

However an added aspect of that is that if this happens after we've changed our legal documents, an additional layer of transphobia occurs when insurances and doctors see our M or X markers and deny us care out of hand. Now we are stuck with a pregnancy we don't want and constant reminder of what happened to us, or a huge medical bill with devastating financial consequences.

And that's just for those who got out safety- for those who rely on shelters, again the choice becomes detransition for safety at a woman's shelter, or struggle in silence as a man. That, we share with you, though for different reasons.

A unique interection of transphobia and misogyny specifically experienced by trans men was asked for. That is what I provided. Much like how in Crenshaw's essays one could not provide a complete understanding of "because woman" or "because black" because neither would show the full picture of "because black woman", it is not possible to describe this fully as "because trans " or "because man" because the complete "because trans man" must be provided.

I am of the opinion that there is very little "unique" about oppression- mostly that the various points of intersection change its face. In other words, I think trans men share a lot with trans women, and I don't think that's a bad thing. I also think that doesn't disclude something from earning its own name or having its own place to be talked about.

I have hesitated to post those statistics because they can so easily be twisted to say "trans women don't experience these things" or "trans men have it worse". But, a look at the graphs say the first isn't true, it just happens at a statistically less rate. The second, well, I personally don't think it's useful to quantify who has it worse. I once was in that mindset, apologizing to my mentor (an older trans woman) for complaining about my problems because obviously she had it so much worse.

She told me she doesn't like to think about it like that. For her, she would rather be raped than killed. For me, I would rather be killed than raped. Who has it "worse" depends entirely on perspective. Murder and rape are both terrible crimes to be a victim of. Rather than weighing this violence in a scale, more effort should be put into stopping it from happening in the first place. I think she was very wise. I'm lucky to have known her.

I'm sorry that happened to you. I would like to reach across the table and take your hand, to walk forward into the future together. I think we are stronger when united in this world that hates us. You are my sister. We may fight like siblings, but you're still family.

#final disclaimer I am in and out of conciousness due to fever and being sick #so if this is incoherent... sorry

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