#i could cry i feel so good

[someoneimsure]

hey idk what's going on but i hope you're ok. i can't say i'm here for you if it's like, too heavy a topic but i'm down to distract ya or something if ya ever need it.

I really needed to talk about this apparently. So I'm going to ... talk about it and just talk about my experience with being triggered. And knowing someone is listening does help, strangely. It also might help distract with it, idk. I don't mean to overwhelm this ask but I hope it gives some context as to what was happening and that it helps other people who go through something similar.

I am a little embarrassed to talk about this and almost put all of this under a read more, but I think that might also make it worse so. Apologies for the long post.

What triggered everything is, it's--I can't say it's stupid because that makes the situation worse. It was not stupid. But it felt "stupid".

Basically, I was thinking about something to write about (a personal experience turned into a viligante!reader snippet for tumblr) only to then experience very random--okay, not really random, but seriously intrusive thoughts about my biggest traumas all at once. I was so upset that I felt I needed to leave tumblr temporarily because I believe some BS on tumblr caused it and it was--it was not stupid, my reaction to it was not stupid, but it felt "stupid" because it was a significantly delayed trauma reaction and the situation really didn't call for such an--It's not stupid, but it felt "stupid".

First time I've experienced that in a literal decade. It was horrible. Half of my brain was super pissed off about it, about myself, about my body, which did not help the part of myself that just kept spiraling down a deep dark rabbit hole of nausea, dread, and shaking. It was like a dragon stomping around in the brain while the rest of me was tumbling down a very steep mountain. It caused a lot of emotional pain and the heavy blankets I used would not work.

So I stepped off tumblr. Tried the heavier heavy blanket, which also didn't work. And discovered I couldn't write. So nothing changed.

So I went back to tumblr because there was nothing I could do to change my situation and just... talked about it? Sort of? More like complained about my body--which is not stupid, not my fault, it happens sometimes, I'm okay.

So I posted that I was experiencing something horrible and clearly it's--it was not stupid, but it felt "stupid", and the part of myself that was angry and furious and yelling about it was fighting the part of myself that was starting to seize my heart in what felt like a fist covered in iron needles. Which is the indicator that one of my worst anxiety attacks was starting, which always turns into me lying down on the floor wait for hours for the heart pain to stop.

And then I saw the responses on tumblr. And responded to them. And I felt better after posting and acknowledging that people had noticed and I realized it was Not Stupid like my brain kept telling me. The angry part of me shut up. Then I got more responses. I responded to those as well and acknowledged them, and fuck therapy works guys. I almost felt normal. The heavy blanket was working again.

So what could have been a potential trip to the hospital has turned into a learning experience and I am sooo much better now, omfg. I am also extremely exhausted and tired, haha. But I feel almost normal again. That is such a relief. I cannot express my gratitude enough for everyone who reached out and helped me.

Sorry if this is too heavy. Putting the experience into words helps me contextualize it and even feel better about it, strangely enough. I'm gonna maybe write a reader!vigilante snippet that covers the feelings aspect and how it was resolved but with the BatClan. It might turn into something longer, though I probably will not post unless someone expresses interest.

Thank you sincerely for the ask. <3

#i am not ready to talk about the trauma that did trigger this #only because i am worried about triggering myself again #chest and throat are still a little tight but otherwise i feel so normal right now #i could cry i feel so good #just thank you so much for asking! <3 #asks #personal stuff #my body is exhausted but at least it's not super exhausted #i am probably going to bed early because of all this #i forgot that i actually started writing because it was like therapy #it made me feel better #triggered

[ratboysims]

ratsave 1.2 by ratboysims

⭐sorry about the wait on this one!!!!!!

WHAT’S NEW FROM 1.1? • willow creek got a facelift with a lot of completely new builds! • magnolia promenade got a complete facelift with all new builds! • sulani is completed, yes all of it! • other worlds are still not completed, but there are a bunch of new builds and families scattered throughout! • every family in willow creek now has descriptions and story, and their in-game selves should reflect that story!

⭐ information + download below the cut :-) (PLEASE read all of this!)

↪ How to download saves (please read this link, I will not be answering asks about it!)

PACKS: • the ratsave uses most packs EXCEPT for journey to batuu, moschino, and my first pet stuff. • it uses NO kits or cc! • you can still download and play with the save if you’re missing packs, but items and clothes might be missing or replaced!

IMPORTANT INFO: ⭐ please remember this is NOT a finished save, even if all the builds should be functional! i’m still in the process of building and editing, so some builds might not match the sims that live there, and some families might be incomplete etc etc. it shouldn’t be noticeable if you’re playing with your own sims, but please do keep it in mind! ⭐ if you find anything that doesn’t work or is off, PLEASE LET ME KNOW so i can fix it and update the save! i’m only one person working on this and it’s hard to keep track of everything, so any help with noticing issues is super appreciated! ⭐ if you use this, also please let me know and tag me in your photos! i’d love to see your sims living their best life in my save :-)

⭐ DOWNLOAD ⭐

★ please consider supporting me on ko-fi!

↪ DOWNLOAD ON BLOGSPOT (no adf*y)

#throwing up and shaking and crying #idk why this one is making me so anxious it feels like i should be more done even if it is literally just a hobby activity #i think because i had to rush it at the end to get it out today even if i KNOW i did it as good as i could #anyway PLEEEEASE ENJOY I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT I DO ENJOY PLAYING IN HER #mycc

[starflungwaddledee]

@moonverc3x you know what they say, intent is nine tenths of the law! (they don't say this)

#these tags made me laugh so i had to draw this Immediately. #begging and pleading and hoping i've characterised j correctly here. she just seems like she would. #anyway yes it really would probably be that simple #so long as she perceives that you're Being Nice to her you could get away with anything really. #that said i don't think this would feel particularly good for her which is why she was crying first. she's sturdy but not pain-exempt #but!! if it's a game!! then it must be good!! so she'll suck it up to participate!!! like eating which also feels Not Great but she does it #my art #others ocs #starstruck dee

[astrowarr]

always so bittersweet to see the end of a hermitcraft season, but god is it exciting to think about the sheer amount of creativity that'll be IMMEDIATELY reinvigorated for these people. my GOD do they always deliver every season

just saying, if anyone is new enough to hermitcraft that they weren't present for the start of the season, the energy in the creators and the fandom at the start of the new seasons is SPECTACULAR!! get excited, get hyped!! think about all the crazy and impressive things these people are gonna build. who's going to build close to who? will they have a spawn with all their starter homes? what will they build? what new mini games and shops and redstone attractions will there be

WAHH ITS SO EXCITING I CAN'T WAIT

#im just so !!!!!! #i cant even describe the feeling of the beginning its so good #i just love hermitcraft so much #this smp. is so special. i could for real cry #hermitcraft #hermitblr #hermitcraft s9 #hermitcraft season 9

[bichimney]

the bau + injuries

#criminal minds #derek morgan #emily prentiss #aaron hotchner #elle greenaway #matt simmons #luke alvez #spencer reid #kate callahan #jennifer jareau #i'm crying why does a shot from s1 look better than s13 ashdfhkfj #i'm so sorry to matt i literally could not make that thing look good #there will be a part 2 if i feel like suffering <3

[thebirdandhersong]

What has been encouraging for you this week? What has made you feel brave? How have you seen God's hand at work in your life?

#please tell me it is very dark and grey in my mind today #my grandfather just passed away and my heart is heavy and i am at a loss in every sense #i wish i could cry! but i feel very numb #and this on top of having to manually crush all hopes related to the sweet one every day i am pretty exhausted #so if there's any goodness beauty etc in the world please tell me about it #the waiting room chapter

[johnslittlespoon]

plsssss can we talk about bucky getting his revenge and edging gale

gale edging john post | yes we cannnnn !! eta: ykw. i need to just turn this into a proper oneshot since this ended up being over 1k words. new wip created </3

john may be a man of little self control, but after that incident, he decides he can be at least a tiny bit patient so he can catch gale off guard with it when he gets his revenge. because the next few times they're fooling around, gale's expecting a retaliation, john can see it in the way he tenses up and glances at his face before he comes like he's waiting for it, but john never follows through with it. he wants gale to let his guard down, and that he does.

so a week or so later when john's kissing him and feeling him up and asks ever so sweetly if he can tie gale's wrists behind his back, gale doesn't think anything of it. john likes to take control occasionally and gale sometimes likes the feeling of not having to worry about making decisions, getting to let john call the shots, and john always puts extra time and effort into the way he touches gale when he's restrained because he likes to watch his darling blondie squirm.

john has him sit in his lap facing him, letting gale lean against his shoulder to take the pressure off his legs while john works him open on his fingers, already riled up from the pretty gasps gale's making against his neck but reigning himself in because he's gonna need to have some self control for once.

he sweet–talks gale through it, telling him how good he sounds, how well he's doing as he sinks down on his cock, guiding him with hands on his hips so he doesn't unbalance himself without the use of his own hands where they're tied behind his back with a belt. he stays still at first, letting gale ride him slowly, keeping his hands loosely on his waist while praising him and talking him into that foggy needy headspace until gale's thighs are trembling and john takes pity on him (and frankly is so hard he doesn't have the patience to keep his own hips still anymore).

so he runs his hands down from gale's waist to his ass to hold him in place while he rolls his hips up into him, watching the way gale's eyebrows pinch and his pretty lips fall open in a silent oh as john angles himself in a way gale couldn't with his own movements. lets his mouth run as he slowly picks up his pace, all the coos of "so pretty", "you're taking me so well", "you feel so fucking good", loving how reactive gale is to every word and every thrust.

he moves his hands to gale's hips to get a better grip, can tell gale's getting close because he gets noisier, losing his filter and letting out breathy little "fuck"s and "john"s, head rolling back on his shoulders to bare his neck, rocking his hips down to meet john every time he fucks up into him. and then just as he gets the warning of "close", he pulls gale down by his hips to bury himself deep in him and stops moving completely.

the whine of desperation that tears out of gale's throat when he lifts his head has john knocking his skull back against the wall, cock twitching hard enough inside gale that he's sure the blond can feel it. he watches gale's biceps flex when he instinctively tries to get his hands free, feels his hips try to squirm out of his hands to keep moving, but he keeps him pinned firmly down, dizzy at the way he clenches down around him.

a plaintive "john" pulls a groan from him, but he composes himself, lifts his gaze back up to gale's face and lets the corners of his lips quirk up, purrs out a "yeah, sweetheart? something wrong?"

laughs at the way gale cusses him out, a rare sight of his little spitfire with a mouth on him, though the effect is a lot closer to being hissed at by a kitty than actually being convinced to move. john lets him run his mouth, murmurs a "cute" once gale's done, and then promptly hammers his hips up into him just once, swearing under his breath at the way it punches an open–mouthed moan from gale. rocks his hips up into him a few times before going back to a quick and rough pace, the sound of skin on skin getting both of them flushed.

it only takes a minute before gale's hips are twitching into his hands and whispered pleas are falling from his mouth and john thinks he's never had to use as much self restraint in his life as he does when he forces himself to stop moving again, once again yanking gale down against him, holding him still in his lap.

gale really fights it this time, enough so that it's a merciful distraction for john from how close he himself is (trust his idea to backfire as he ends up edging himself along with gale, he thinks) when he has to use proper strength to keep him in place. any blood that might've still been lurking around his brain rushes south the moment he sees gale's eyes getting shiny with frustration, cheeks all pink and lips red and flushed from biting down on them.

"not so fun, is it?" john taunts, but his voice comes out a bit more raspy than he would've liked, evident how much the stop and start is getting to him too. it's probably karma, because he knows he's being more mean than gale was to him, but he can't help it; those blue eyes look so pretty when tears are threatening to spill over when he's desperate and needy like this.

gale wriggles in his lap the best he can, still furiously chasing his orgasm, head finally falling back in frustration before he lifts it again, looking john in the eyes, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth and letting it go. he whines quietly and whimpers out the sweetest "please, johnny," almost crying in his impatience, and fuck.

john doesn't mean for his hips to twitch up at that, but they do, hard. gale sobs out a broken sound at the way john's cock hits just where he needs it to in his accidental movement, and gale spills over his stomach completely untouched, just like that. john swears and drives his hips up into him in an attempt to quickly amend his slip up, moaning loud at the wrecked noises that immediately start bubbling up out of gale as he fucks him through his orgasm.

he tips over the edge himself from the desperate sounds the blond starts to make as he crosses the line into overstimulation, feeling gale's hips jerk frantically in his hands, fighting to get away from the incessant rhythm of his cock inside him as john shudders through his own orgasm, fingers digging into gale's sides.

he slows down to a gentle grind of his hips when gale collapses against his chest, face pressed to his neck, shivering at the slow drag inside him and whining pitifully when john eventually pulls out, settling him down on his thighs while he reaches around to undo the belt and free his hands. his heart bursts at the way gale instantly wraps his arms around him, clinging to him as they both catch their breath, john petting his hair and showering him with praise.

he eventually huffs out a laugh, murmuring a "sorry buck. payback's a bitch, but that was an accident, i swear." gale groans against him in complaint, lightly nipping at his shoulder in retaliation, too tired to fight back, but john's sure he'll pay for it eventually.

it's confirmed with the "better watch your back, darling" that he gets when they're both pulling their clothes back on, but to john, that sounds less like a threat and more like a good time, and he shoots gale a crooked grin to let him know as much.

#bruh this was 1.3k i did not mean to get into so much detail #the keep reading button has never been more necessary #i wish i could crank out long drabbles like this for all the asks #but they take sooo long for me to write i am NOT a fast writer lol hence why i post a fic like once a month #but sometimes certain asks just itch my brain some type of way and then boom i've thrown up onto a tumblr post #anyway dacryphilia my beloved <3 #in any other scenario john hates to see gale cry. but i think in bed he would have an affinity for making him feel so good that he cries #have i thought about this extensively? perhaps. #i just think that pretty boys with pretty eyes and pink lips deserve to cry during sex sometimes. as a treat #johnslittlespoon asks #johnslittlespoon brainrot #johnslittlespoon spicy #buck x bucky #buckbucky

[carlyraejepsans]

i don't think I've ever enjoyed a birthday party with friends as much as today i am genuinely getting a bit teary eyed

#initially i wasn't planning to do anything but then i thought what the hell what if we go out to drink something #except it was all very up in the air so a good deal of folks couldn't come (which is fine that one's on me) #but the two who COULD make it are genuinely some of the funniest motherfuckers I've ever met and one of them brought his gf along #and we hit it off IMMEDIATELY and THEN we ran into another pal I hadn't seen in a while and hadn't had the chance to invite in person #who also joined in after he finished hanging out with other people and they got me a present????? 😭 #i haven't had a birthday with friends in fucking . 3 years between covid and everyone i knew moving away #I'm so happy i think my heart is going to explode #which ik. hey isn't that a very boring and simple hangout YES but also not to me baby i have been in a depression isolation all my teens #i started to genuinely enjoy my day to day life like. 4 months ago ever since starting uni #it feels like turning a new leaf yknow? like. i made it. i made it out. god i could cry #sorry I'm a little drunk

[whorejolras]

i'm saying it. i don't think joly would work in a hospital. i think his medical career would be informed by his politics + radicalisation and his + his friends regular drug use, he would be outraged at how the medical industry handles drug users, also at the medical industrial complex in general, so he would find a reputable community led harm reduction organisation to work for 🫶🏻

#joly #it also works because the idea that modern les amis wouldn't all have a million jobs and volunteer roles in community organising #and you know... do direct community action to support people... instead of just little hypothetical meetings where they debate hypothetical #problems.... #that idea is so bullshit and i know it's written by people who only have indoor people problems and don't realise most radicals actually do #things... but still it annoys me #and he would hate working in a hospital #not that the harm reduction work wouldn't be stressful and high intensity too but he would rather it for the love of community #also it wouldn't be hard because as a disabled person he would already be radicalised against doctors and medical industry in general #les amis #les mis #mine #i realise as a disabled drug using cane user i could #write joly really really well #the best joly scene is in world ain't ready where in one scene he's so excited for the battle of the bands dancing around yelling and stuff #then they pick him up and he's like 'tonight is a sitting night' URGH that's so real it almost made me cry #anyway joly feelings good morning

[starheirxero]

Yk I still firmly believe that Bloodmoon could make a transition of killing random humans to killing random wild animals.…. Like, I know KC is dead now, but could you imagine how well that could’ve work out for both of them??? Bloodmoon satiates their hunger by hunting game and brings it back to KC so he can make the world’s most kickass meat stew. life could be a dream…….

#xero says things #xero thoughts and rambles #looks left. looks right #it runs deeper au #< THIS IS THEIR DYNAMIC IN IT OKAY….. #it feels like such an OBVIOUS PATH TO ME…. #like. blood? check. meat and gore? check. thrill of the hunt? check. can cry in agony? check. #plus like i feel like they’d be able to get more enjoyment out of bigger game yk???? #like. could u imagine bloodmoon having a 1v1 with a moose…… #if they won that fight they’d probably be SO thrilled and SO well fed they’d be in good spirits for a week #this is smth i will stand by 4ever……. #sun and moon show #the sun and moon show #tsams #bloodmoon #kc #sams killcode #sams bloodmoon #ird bloodmoon #ird killcode

[irafuwas]

i don't know why, but in the sparse five hours of sleep i got last night, my brain decided to plague me with dreams of lilia taking care of an elderly silver, up until the final moments of his life. i could hear silver's thoughts the whole time, and he was so absolutely inundated with shame and guilt it almost seemed like he was suffocating. he kept thinking over and over and over again that this all should've been the other way around. he should've been the one looking after his father in the twilight of his life. he should've been his aging father's rock, his safe place to land, his stalwart defender against a world so unbelievably cruel to its most vulnerable denizens. again and again his heart cried out in vain, it should've been the other way around.

as a child he had once wished - prayed, even, to the same force now threatening to reclaim his spirit back into its unconscious designs - for his father to live a long and prosperous life, and it was as though that very wish had backfired on him in a way he never could have possibly imagined

#twst silver #lilia vanrouge #twst spoilers #twst #mumbles #txt #i hate it here #i litearlly woke up crying you gusy dont unerstand #he was so ashamed of himself but not once in my dream was lilia anything less than happy to take care of him #i feel like part of the reason lilia is trying to run away is because like so many of our elderly and our disabled #he didn't want his loved ones to worry about him and “waste” their time taking care of him #so he thought the best decision for everyone would be if he just went off to go die alone #i have no idea if twst would actually touch on something like that but i do think you could interepret his departure that way #anyways if any of you have caretakers or aides or just are disabled in anyway #i want you to know you are not and have never been and never will be a burden on anyone or anything #and that i love you so so much #im getting so emotional over a dream fkjgh but i want silver to understand that good parents dont have kids expecting that #their children will someday “pay them back” for everythinng they did for them growing up!! u don't owe ur parents jack shit!! #silver you just existing as you are is enough for your father!!!

[pixelatedraindrops]

"You've been through a lot... But it's alright now.

You fought long and hard Makoto...

Everyone in Kanai Ward is grateful to you."

A lil' MakoYuma comfort edit I attempted just because...

...someone needs to give this poor thing a hug fr... ;w;

show your emotions lil' CEO, you've held them in too long.

ty again for the vulnerable sadboi makoto sprite edits @shiut💕

#rain code spoilers #rain code #master detective archives: rain code #whumpcode #its angst/comfort so it counts idc #yuma kokohead #makoto kagutsuchi #makoyuma #my edits #pixeledits #yeah for my first edit in a while #I went with something soft #I want Yuma to hug Makoto so badly... ;-; #weird hug but its the best I could do lol #I love these two so much #did something similar to that one YumaYakou edit I did #lil foggy effect because its supposed to be a serene moment #much as I love whumping these two w illness... #I do want them to be happy no more sad times ;-; #AND NO MORE CONCEALING YOUR EMOTIONS #YOU WILL CRY AND YOU WILL FEEL GOOD DOING IT #also yes this is post game yuma #ROLE REVERSAL TIME #not the best edit but its hard to edit makoto #WHEN HIS HAIR IS CUT OFF FROM HIS SPRITE X-X #yuma's probably the only one who can comfort him tbh #given he trusts nobody else #I think Makoto would be a very silent crier #not long after he'd wipe his tears away going back to normal #but let him have his small moment for now <3

[irondad-defensesquad]

“Peter.”

The boy can’t even look Tony in the eye. Not because he’s afraid, but because he’s tired. Defeated. The most he does is glance at his mentor like a sad, curious puppy.

Tony can only smile.

“You’re doing great,” he tells him.

Peter looks surprised to hear that, as he raises his head a little and actually gazes at the man.

“I know you don’t believe it with how much you’ve been dealing with,” Tony details. “You might think you’re failing, but I see your effort. You’re a hero both at school and at home… and well, everywhere. And I’m proud of you.”

It’s like Peter hasn’t heard these words in forever.

Because his eyes grow deep, his lips quiver, he begins shaking. Tony can tell there’s a lot of pain in there, as Peter covers his mouth once he starts sobbing, so he doesn’t make much noise.

Tony kneels in front of the kid, opening his arms. Peter immediately launches himself towards him, hugging him so desperately, and sobbing so much that it must hurt. Tony hates imagining how long Peter must have kept it to himself. How long has he felt like a failure?

Peter is so much more than “good enough”.

He’s doing great, amazing, even.

And the kid needs to remember that more often.

Tony will make sure of that.

#lotus speaks #irondad #fics #my fics #drabble #i might write a complete story. eventually #i wrote this bc my psychiatrist yesterday merely told me i was doing a good job #and i started crying #like #ppl often tell me i'm doing the best i can #and i get the intention #but sometimes i don't feel like that's good #so hearing someone say i was doing good or great #not just 'good enough' or 'the best i could' #wow. #that hit me like a ton of bricks #idk if this makes sense #rambling in tags

[shima-draws]

Slamming my head against the wall god fucking DAMMIT I'm so in love with Sanlu I am GOING to explode.

#One Piece #Sanlu #Sanji #Luffy #IDK WHAT IT IS!! IDK!!!! #Still love Zolu with all my heart but oh my GOD Sanlu. They are everything. #I might be reading too many fics bc it really feels like a fanon thing that Sanji's actually like #Really insecure and has low self-esteem #OR MAYBE THAT'S CANON IDK!! #But hnghhh Luffy being the one to be like. Hey I like you for you and not for your past #And I love everything about you and that's a FACT and not a lie and I want to keep you with me forever #AND I WILL NEVER REPLACE YOU WITH ANYBODY ELSE. YOU ARE MY COOK AND I DON'T EVER WANT ANOTHER #And Sanji craving affection and validation and praise SO bad that whenever Luffy gives it to him he wants to cry #BASHES MY HEAD INTO A TABLE AUUGHGHGHG SHUT UP!!!!! #MAYBE THAT'S FANON SANLU BUT YOU KNOW WHAT. I DON'T CARE IT'S SO GOOD #SLURPS THAT SHIT UP #Sanji especially feeling that he's not worthy enough for Luffy and thinking it'd be impossible to have him #So when Luffy actually does reciprocate he's in SHOCK bc how. How could Luffy pick HIM of all people #Cut to Sanji feeling like the LUCKIEST motherfucker on the planet bc he gets to have Luffy. SCORE. #Luffy blowing away all of his insecurities and anxieties and worry just by being himself and being so #STUPIDLY in love with him is just #HOLLERS AND SMACKS THE TABLE REPEATEDLY #ALSO IT DOESN'T HELP THAT OPLA MADE IT SO BLATANTLY OBVIOUS TOO #Luffy complimented his cooking one (1) time #And Sanji was like okay yup packing my bags for the Merry as we speak #When he smiles and looks a little flustered at Luffy's attention. #Oh my fucking god. Strangling myself. #THEY ARE EVERYTHING!!! #Shima speaks

[autism0fadown]

I’ve been re-listening to dndads s1 and i just finished the last episode again… im inconsolable

#i started lostening to dndads at a really tough time in my life and everything was changing. i felt like i had nothing to cling on to #but dndads was the one thing that made things feel good again. it was the one thing i could hold onto when my life felt like disaster #it was the one thing that genuinely made me feel happy and im so glad that i had this podcast to get me through what felt like hell. #i would say that i wish i could listen to this podcast for the first time again. but i experienced it at the most perfect time in my life #that its had a lasting effect on me and i wouldnt change that for the world #i sometimes wonder how dndads would have affected me if i hadn’t experienced it at that time in my life #i occasionally listened to episodes in 2020-2021 but stopped after the first few episodes #what if i kept going? what if i had finished season one in 2021? would it have impacted me the same? #anyways… #oughhhhh #ouuuuuu #ououoooouuuu #uuuuuuuoooouuuuu #<- thats me crying :’) #dndads #dungeons and dads #dungeons and daddies #dndads s1 #dungeons and daddies s1 #im so emotional rn

[hopefullystillliving]

You ever get lulled into a false sense of security during the first two thirds of a kid's movie that's good with a serious plot but mostly a pretty fun time, only to have the entire final third tear your heart out, chew it up and spit it out, crush it into even finer paste beneath its heel, and add the fine powder your ribs have been turned into by the sledgehammer it whammed you with as a seasoning?

Anyway Nimona was great, 10/10 would recommend, I was crying on and off for what probably totaled 20 minutes of tears.

#hopeful rambling #nimona #cw graphic #i think that's probably the right tag for that description #anyway yes im a little late to the train but i was waiting until i could watch it with my dearest #my takeaway is that they should put a content warning on it for trans people especially bc you will feel punched in the face #that allegory sure can trans. #i think i related to it in a different way than most people #bc being genderqueer yeah nimona going im not a girl im just myself hit home but im not *trans* #so i think i actually ended up projecting onto balistar as someone who deeply loves a trans person (different ways obviously) #being told 'yes you can rejoin the society you betrayed you aren't like *her* you arent a monster everything can go back to what it was #you can be one of the good guys if you reject the freaks' #but they betrayed you first and the good guys aren't good and how things were is worse actually than saying i love you i see you im with you #to the freaks and the monsters who will accept who you are unlike the society that never will always keeping you to an impossible standard #of never being yourself #so yeah the religious/societal prejudice trauma was very felt at some points #and i grieved for nimona not because she was me but because she was my dearest and she was a friend #and she was a thousand people i will never know who decided it was better to die as yourself than be killed as someone you aren't #and didn't have a person to say im sorry. i see you. #anyway. yeah im still crying. altered my brain chemistry is mild i think it rearranged my organs punched a hole in my chest and i thanked it #nimona spoilers