#i didn’t realize the storytelling format they were going with here

[demigodofhoolemere]

I know those stories were always only tenuously canonical but I’ll be darned if I ever let go of them

#signature smug look of superiority #i remember what happened disney. i remember. #and why on EARTH are timon and pumbaa in the trailer i ask you #disney #mufasa #the lion king #edit: apparently they’re there for helping tell the story #i didn’t realize the storytelling format they were going with here #they’re trying to lure me in with my love for kiara but it won’t work i tell you— *crying*

[explode-this]

If you have tried to go to Al-Anon and it doesn’t click, that’s not a failure on your part. Not everything is for everybody. If something doesn’t make any sense to you, trying to make that shoe fit won’t do anything but give you sore toes.

The premise of the group is that it is for you, the person impacted by another person’s drinking/problem. But you wouldn’t go if there wasn’t someone else with a problem, and therein lays the damage it can cause. What I found is that it compounded my own sadness and difficulty processing the potential end of a relationship, because I wasn’t actually impacted by my loved one’s problem. I didn’t know them as an alcoholic and didn’t see them as any of the other -isms they identified with. It felt pointless being there, though I stuck it out for as long as I could possibly give it. I didn’t just go to a few meetings and call it good. I really tried. I did announcements and called people and chaired meetings and did all of the things you’re supposed to do. But when my loved one stopped talking to me without any kind of goodbye, and the groups I went to were filled with people floundering in misery through breakups and being left by the wayside without “amends,” I had to stop and ask myself if I was growing from this experience, or was it just prolonging my grief? I was going to zoom meetings every day instead of going outside or reading books that weren’t approved literature. It was good for a little while to have some understanding, but the best part of it was the social time afterwards in one of the groups. I realized that what I wanted and needed was not to dwell on what made me sad, but to be around people who were living life and doing crafts and cracking jokes. I didn’t want friendships shaped by the semantically shifting vocabulary and empty catchphrases of a program I didn’t believe in. I wanted sunshine, not a constant onslaught of freezing rain. We need people, certainly, but when we only spend time with people who share a problem, then the lack of perspective can drag us down.

I couldn’t center my life around someone else’s problem. I had to start living for myself or I wasn’t going to be able to pull myself out of the spiral of depression. I’m doing so much better since I decided to throw myself into hobbies and books and getting back to the things that make me happy (like skating! I’m skating again, and I love it!) whether or not someone else decides to book it from my life. I’m not 100% filled with joy at all times, but we can’t be. We’re light and shadow. I didn’t have to admit powerlessness over another person because I never believed I have power over other people in the first place, especially not them. Not even here—I’m just one jagoff with a soapbox that you can listen to or not. The conversation around recovery is so hush-hush because there’s the idea that talking honestly about one’s shonky experiences with 12-step will “jeopardize” someone who needs help. But what about the folks who might be jeopardized by trying to make the program fit? I believe they need to know their options, too. And since there aren’t really many options available to the loved ones of people with behavioral compulsion/substance use issues except 12 step, I think it’s important to let you know it’s okay if it doesn’t work for you, or if it feels wrong. Your intuition doesn’t lie. You don’t have to commit yourself to a lifetime of meetings because someone else has a problem. If they’ll let you, you can support them in other ways; and you can support yourself by spending time with friends outside of a support group format, or finding something you want to do until the pain subsides. For me it was movies and really getting into what make storytelling work. It was learning how to interact with people again and remembering to text my friends and listening to podcasts that made me laugh until I cried. I picked up and put down hobbies until I found something i wanted to do with my time. I finally got back on ADHD medication and started cleaning my house again. It was slow going but it was going, and that felt good, because being in Al-Anon made me feel like I had stopped and would never be able to start again.

I’m supposed to put a caveat here, like, if it works for you—great! Then don’t worry about it! But instead I’ll ask you to think about whether it’s really working for you, or if you’re just trying to fake it until it becomes second nature. You’re allowed to investigate how you feel about stuff instead of taking other people’s word for it, like suggestions that you’re in denial or you’re codependent or you need to work the steps instead of thinking so much. No—think. Think about it, then think about it some more. It’s your life to live and you don’t have to spend it being told to second-guess yourself by crabs in a bucket.

#al anon #help yourself #cosmic thoughts #healing your own heart with hobbies and self-sufficiency

[slowpoke272]

“i’m glad my mom died” by jennette mccurdy

finished: december 7, 2022

this is the one, the book that re-lit my fire for storytelling and made me realize i had a strong desire to hear more stories like these. i had listened to other audiobooks here and there, but this one was special because it was narrated by the author herself and i think she made her words come to life in the audio recordings.

the book itself is a masterpiece, a harrowing collection of moments surrounding the life of a child star. though jennette is only speaking on her own life and story, the reader/listener is left wondering the extent other child actors face these same challenges, as child stars are never really technically able to give their full consent, are they? although i wasn’t too familiar with icarly when it aired (i had to look up sam puckett to see which one she was) i still feel like there’s so much that hits home particularly as a millennial or generation z; when we love our parents, we would do anything to please them.

in a way i don’t wanna say too much about this book because anyone reading about this book ought to stop immediately and just read and/or listen to it. obviously i do prefer the format of jennette telling her own story via audiobook, but if you prefer the written format, by all means. but this is an outstanding book worth reading probably more than once to really “get” everything. it’s dark but it’s honest.

i specifically appreciate the discussions about death and body image. i’m glad that jennette was able to pull us in to those final moments with her mom and share where her headspace was before, during, and after that moment. having lost a parent (my father-in-law) in 2022, i still found solace in her juggling of death even though our relationships were obviously very different and our lives are not at all the same.

i feel similarly about the body image topic. body image includes such a wide spectrum of diagnoses, but jennette is able to share exactly what was going on in her head where she didn’t even see what she was doing was detrimental to her own body. i feel like the story unfolds walking us through the journey of two relationships: jennette’s relationship with her mom, obviously, and jennette’s relationship with her own body. her early days auditioning for roles, it really just seems like jennette is a prop and she doesn’t even have any authority over her body or what she does with it. in a way, watching jennette’s journey with her own self image broke my heart more than her relationship with her mom; even in an estranged relationship, we can infer quite a lot about a mother-daughter relationship, but in our society we are all taught so many ways to constantly ignore the messages from our own body, it’s honestly sickening.

i don’t have many more thoughts on this other than it was an awesome journey to take, despite the subject matter and author’s disposition for the vast majority of the novel. jennette should be really proud of herself and her progress, and i hope she continues to find ways she wants to share her creativity with the world. or if that’s not working out for her, i simply wish her the best. she deserves it.

rating: 10/10 this deeply resonated with me, i will re-read it again numerous times and recommend it to anyone i know, the story and characters will stick with me forever; crave discussing it all the time and bring it up unprovoked

(i’m gonna be very corny and flexible on these haha, i don’t waste my time on things i don’t think i’ll like so there will likely be a lot of 10s here)

#i'm glad my mom died #jennette mccurdy

[kodyboye]

Reading book reviews isn't good for your mental health: An Author's Perspective

Hi,

My name's Kody, and, you guessed it: I'm an author. Generally speaking, I write young and new-adult fiction where young(er) people have to face tremendous odds (be they aliens, vampires, zombies, world-rending scenarios or even personal trials they face from within. It's a fun hobby I've been able to make into a somewhat-career (wherein I get paid for my work.) However, with all products, there comes the...

Customer reviews.

Now... I've heard it stated that reading book reviews is actually good for your development as an author. The thinking in some circles is that, if you can pick out common threads of complaints from readers, you might be able to improve upon your work.

But... here's the thing:

While there are well-intentioned reviews that point out various faults in books, there are also reviews that either:

Don't get your book

or

Are just straight-out mean.

For this post, I want to speak generally, and want to reduce including my own experiences on the matter. If they happen to bleed into the post, I'm intending for them to be used as examples of could bes rather than confirmations of what happens on a general basis.

From my experience of reading book reviews, I've come to find that there are a few types of readers. They usually fall into three categories:

Those that are easily pleased.

Those that are hard to please.

Those who are impossible to please.

Reviewers who are easily pleased tend to forgive certain things in works (spelling mistakes, grammar issues, etc.) Reviewers that are hard (or hard[er]) to please expect certain standards that they've come to anticipate (proper editing, storytelling, formatting.) Then there are reviewers that are impossible to please because they are just that: impossible to please.

Now, you might be wondering, Why include the last one? Isn't that a personal judgment?

Yes and no.

There is a common occurrence I've seen with some reviewers that leads me to believe that they just simply cannot be pleased. When I come across a review I feel falls into this bracket, I tend to look at their list of written reviews and see what they are reading, or if they like anything at all. And let me tell you: I have found readers who simply do. not. like. anything. they. read. Be it a perceived problem with a character, a scenario, or even a plot point, they will go out of their way to make their intent known. Most reviews like this will have maybe one 3-star out of the deluge of 2 and 1-star reviews (and even then, the 3-star review is not shining or middle-of-the-road.)

And here is where reviews can be damaging.

As writers, we grow close to our works. We start stories, nurture characters, see plots to fruition, and create worlds we hope others will enjoy. Releasing them into the wild is akin to walking over landmines that could or could not go off.

Which is where the danger of reading your own reviews comes in.

Looking at the top reviews of certain Big 5 (or is it 4 or 3 now?) publishers, you can generally sense that there will be a divide between readers and their opinions over a piece of work. Some will love it, others will like it, a few will hate it. But let me tell you: when you get a certain type of reader who really, truly not just hates, but abhors a book (for whatever reason,) they will spare no mercy in telling the reader what they think of it.

Even if that means attacking the author.

Now... personal attacks can come as a result of a variety of things—from an author/reader interaction, to a social issue that a reader conflicts with, or even a political one. However, when a reader wants to attack an author, they usually come with knives out.

Which is where the point of this post comes in:

I strongly caution writers not to read reviews of their work.

Why?

Beyond the aforementioned reasons, there are a few things that lead me to follow this practice:

1. The fact that reviews can affect your works-in-progress.

Reading reviews for a series that is in progress can be detrimental to the development of the plot of that series. One misconception on the author's part can lead to second thoughts, doubts, overthinking. I've even seen some authors go back and revise books already self-published in order to cater to the reader who was put off and/or offended by their work.

2. The fact that your work will not be for everyone.

Just like in real life: not everyone is going to like you. Likewise, not everyone is going to like your work (no matter how hard you work at it.) As a result of this, it should be noted that you could write the simplest story that is literally about a rabbit chasing another rabbit and someone will still get offended by it. Some readers, I've said, are impossible to please. Sometimes they don't understand where you were going with the plot, or don't realize their perception of the work doesn't align with your own. Sometimes, people just like to be nasty.

And finally, I should point out the most dangerous part of reading reviews:

3. The fact that reviews can damage your self-esteem.

There are writers who are so sensitive to the feelings of others that they simply cannot take criticism. I've come across this several times throughout my time as a writer, as a developmental editor, and as a reader. Some people are simply not able to handle the idea that not everyone will like their book, and as a result, reduce themselves to tears when it comes to reviews. I've even seen some writers close shop and stop writing forever.

With that being said, and with those points made, I will say that there is a shining kernel of truth throughout all of this:

If someone likes your work enough, they will let you know.

And while it is true that some readers will also go to lengths to point out how much they don't like your work (from nastygram emails to @ tags on social media,) I should note that, just recently, I received fan mail from a reader in India, who found one of my free books and took the time to write to me. They didn't have to do that, but they still did.

In the end, I think it's important to take away the fact that your writing is your own. If you feel your work can be improved with criticism, work to find a critique group or partner you feel can bring out the best in you. Don't depend on the internet to give you credit, props, or even accolades for writing a book. While people will like, and even love, your work, there are an equal amount who will dislike, or even hate, it.

The last thing I'd want to see is someone give up their joy of writing because of a bad review.

#writeblr #Book Reviews #advice for writers

[felassan]

Zero To Play podcast episode: John Epler, Narrative Director at BioWare

In the most recent episode of Zero To Play podcast the guest was John Epler, Narrative Director on DA4. He talked about narrative games, how they fit inside an industry leaning towards games as a service, his experience being at BioWare for almost 14 years, and advice that he has for aspiring devs who want to create memorable, impactful and transformative moments in games.

The episode summary read as follows:

In this episode John brings his 13+ year experience being at BioWare and working on titles like Mass Effect & Dragon Age: Inquisition to explain how he believes storytelling will evolve and develop through the medium of games.

He shares some of his favorite moments and why he thinks games are the most powerful and interesting medium to be exploring in this generation.

It’s a good and interesting interview, so worth checking out if you can! You can listen to it here or on Spotify.

This post contains some notes on what was talked about in the episode, in case a text format is better for anyone (for example folks that can’t listen to it due to accessibility reasons). It’s under a cut due to length.

A bit of paraphrasing.

The average dev stays with a game company/studio for about 5 years. John joined BioWare right after the EA acquisition happened.

[on going into Trespasser] “Myself and the Lead Writer Patrick Weekes both knew that we needed to wrap up at least this part of the Inquisitor’s story, and set up where we want to go next with the franchise, with the IP. We learned a lot of lessons from DAI itself. DAI was a game with a lot of exploration and open-world content, and while we stand by that (I still think it was the right call for the game), one of the pieces of feedback we got from the fans was that they really wanted some more directed storytelling. Jaws of Hakkon was more of a continuation of open-world, more free-from exploration and free-form design. Trespasser was our opportunity to tell a story in a much more linear and focused way. [this way of telling stories] really does help to be able to create that sense of pacing and emotional escalation. It’s a lot harder to do that when you’re mixing up storybeats with big, wide open-worlds. Trespasser was a project where everyone was kind of in sync, we were all building [towards] the same thing.” 

-

“There were [story]beats [in Trespasser] that I don't think we would have been able to get away with in basegame DAI, one of those being the - quite frankly - incredibly lengthy conversation you have with Solas at the end. Because by this point we knew that if someone is playing this DLC then they are in it - they’ve been in it for the last two DLCs, they’ve played through the entire game, they want something incredibly story-focused. And we were able to really dive deep into that, some of the deep lore, some of the narrative. This was one of the only conversations that I’d worked on which, due to limitations of the engine, we actually had to break into two different conversation styles because it was so massive. We also got opportunities to do some fun callbacks. One of my favorite ones was one Patrick suggested which was, ‘What if I [didn’t like Solas much and] spent the entire basegame telling Solas I didn't want to hear anything he had to say?’ So we had the option that if you never chose ‘Investigate’ or a dialogue option that implied that you wanted to hear him blather on, there was one dialogue option that you could pick which was basically ‘Solas, when have I ever wanted to hear any of the shit you have to say?’ And it just kind of wrapped up the conversation super quickly, and Solas looked exasperated. It was fun because it’s not the kind of thing you can necessarily do in the main game, but in a DLC which is entirely for those core fans, you have a lot more options as to what you can do.”

John has an understanding of games as an interactive medium.

“Choice of combat, choice of mechanics, all of that does have an impact on the storytelling and on the narrative that you’re trying to put through. A lot of storytelling in games is trying to make sure that the - there’s a phrase, ludonarrative dissonance - [for example, say] I’m making a game where I’m trying to make the player feel powerful. How do you [do that?] [...] In games, this is kind of the challenge. Interactivity is so key to it. [...] It’s a lot harder [compared to characters in film] to put the player in a situation that they are going to lose, because as soon as you take away that autonomy, you’re taking away some of that interactivity. [...] If as a player I'm making you feel strong and powerful, and then I pull you into a cutscene and suddenly you’re losing the fight, you’re losing what’s going. That is a much different sensation, that is something movies can get away with that games can’t.”

-

“What are [players/our audience] actually meaning when they say that they ‘want choice’? I think that in a lot of cases we conflate that with ‘Oh, they want to make a big decision that changes the world’. But in a lot of cases what players want is the game to react to what they’re doing and the choices that they’re making in a way that feels organic and natural. I think this is something CD Projekt Red and the Telltale games did really well - of making it clear when the game is actually going to pay attention to what you said or did, so that when you see it later you’re like ‘Oh right yeah, I made that choice, the game said it was going to remember it, and it remembered, this is cool’.

And it doesn't always mean completely changing the course of events. The Telltale writers, as they got on through the games, they realized that the better way to address choice - and something we’ve done too - is, if we make the game have three endings, four or five - like DAO had an absolute massive amount of ways that it could turn out. How do you pay that off if you want to do a sequel? There's basically two choices. One is that you make an incredibly short game because you have to account for these very different branches, OR you collapse them and say ‘Sorry, this is what we’re going with’. And I don't think either of those are necessarily satisfying. For me it’s about making the players feel like their time and the choices they made have been respected. More than anything else that's the key, it comes down to understanding your fanbase, what it is they’re looking for, what it is they’re asking for, because there is that desire for choice, reactivity, consequences. And it’s something that BioWare, that we’re especially sensitive to because it’s always been a big pillar of the games we make. It’s just about understanding what this actually means from a practical standpoint and how you execute on that in a way that makes your fans feel satisfied, while still not writing yourself an impossible check to cash, because, you know, you can react to anything, but if you have a game that ends in three separate ways, you have to go with one of those two options and neither of them is going to be intensely satisfying to the player.”

-

“A phrase I’ve been using is, what I'm describing as - the half life of quantum. ‘Quantum’ is what we say when it could be like, one of six different things. The half life of this is how long before you actually resolve that down to a single point. Like, provide the player with that reactivity, but collapse those into a way that you can proceed forward. This is 100% a lesson learned from Dragon Age, for all the games. ‘Ok, what do we do with this? Holy shit, that is huge, how are we actually going to pay that off?’ Reactivity, but without putting yourself in an impossible-to-win situation [from a story/writing standpoint].”

-

“More than anything else, the advice I would give [to aspiring devs] is, come up with some fundamental pillars of your story and of your design. There's a misunderstanding that we plan out the exact story for years in advance. We know what we want to get to, we kinda know how we’re going to get there, and a lot of it is just making sure that you have those pillars and those razors. So as you go through development and find, ‘Oh this piece is not working, this piece is clunking’, you’ll always have principles that you can go back to. What is important about this story? Does the piece that isn't working satisfy any of those things? If no, then we have to change it or get rid of it.”

-

[more advice] “Don’t be afraid to fail (I say fail here as a good thing). Don't be afraid to put something out there and have it absolutely torn to shreds. Feedback is your best friend, having people that you trust to provide that feedback. If I were building a big epic narrative, a big epic franchise, [I’d advise that you] start with your principles and the core of what you want to do, and then just start putting out ideas. ‘Here’s my idea for this story’. It’s easier for me, I'm inheriting a lot of work that's already been done, a lot of ground that's already laid - I have a Lead Writer that has been doing this longer than I have, PW is fantastic. But for myself, it’s just been a lot of like, okay, taking this stuff that's already been built, and making sure that I know what we want to do with whatever the next project is. It sounds overly reductive and overly simplistic, but it really is about just having a really strong sense of what is important to your franchise, what’s important to your brand. If you’re coming up with a new IP, it’s a little trickier. You need to spend some time thinking: what’s the tone, what’s the setting, what kind of story do we want to tell.”

-

[more advice] Don’t be afraid to heavily reference existing media [as actual razors, internally]. But that's not something you ever want to have go out to the public, because people go like ‘Oh, you’re just being derivative’. It’s like no, we’re just leaning on cultural touchstones that people know, so that when you’re communicating with people outside your discipline, or with people above you like executives, they can at least get a sense like, ‘Oh I kinda get what you’re doing, okay that makes sense’, versus ‘Let me first of all explain the entire history of the world’. My experience with executives is that they don't have time for that and justifiably so. But if I tell them we’re doing X but with Y and Z it’s like, ‘Ok cool, we get that’. [...] It’s a tiered approach. You have levels of detail that you provide to different people based on what they need to know. You yourself may need to know the history of these characters and how they relate to each other and the thousands of years of history for that, but the person building combat probably doesn't need all that detail and just needs to know ‘What am I working with, how do these characters fight.”

-

“A razor is a statement that you use to slice away what doesn't fit. The narrative razor for Trespasser was, I can’t remember exactly, we were basically trying to go for the Avengers meets Indiana Jones, Winter Soldier. Avengers meets Winter Soldier. [a razor is] a statement that you take all the content [by], ‘Okay, does this actually fit this statement? No? Okay, get rid of it’. It’s about focusing your game. Cutting away the ideas that don't really fit is how you avoid scope-loading and people crunching, and how you keep your project focused.

Trespasser was an intensely-focused DLC, in that it focused on basically two main core things, Solas and the fate of the Inquisition. Everything kind of wrapped into those two razors. As we were going through content, we had stuff like - I said this at a GDC presentation in 2016 - the Qunari are farming lyrium to make Qunari templars. And then we looked at it like, how does that apply to either razor? It doesn't, it doesn't fit either one of them. So we simplified it to, ‘Okay, what actually makes this work in the context of what we’re building?’. [a razor is] a statement that you use to slice off what doesn't fit into the game that you’re building. It can be painful, but having strong razors means that it never comes across as a personal thing.”

Narrative does not mean story.

Two of his least favorite mechanics in games [not including Stalker and DayZ] are weight limits and weapon degradation.

On games as a service:

Interviewer/host: “Talking about games as a service, it’s definitely something that is talked about a lot in gaming in terms of the most successful games. With Dragon Age, putting DLCs out is kind of maybe that same influence, but games that are launched and then iterated on and updated and pushed with content every month, like Fortnite, Riot Games, League of Legends, Valorant etc, that's kind of I feel where the trend of games are trying to go and make the most of those interactions between other people, to make replayability possible and easier. How do you see narrative, do you see it being forgotten with this increase of games as a service? [...] Do you see that as a positive part of narrative in games or do you think there’s still work to be done in that space?”

John: “[...] The place we start to see some confusion, a lot of people think it’s one or the other, but to me, it’s another way, another option for telling stories that by their nature have to be different. I think that's where you need to be, again, very cognizant of what you’re building and of the genre you’re working in, because a story that works for a more traditional box product is not necessarily the kind of story that would work for a games as a service product. [...] Games as a service, understanding what the cadence is that you’re planning to deliver to and what kinds of stories best fit that cadence - some games are better at it than others.

One game that did a pretty decent job of it is Destiny 2, through patches. Final Fantasy 14 is another example, they do a lot of their storytelling between the big expansion releases as part of their free patches. They always know that they have - I think, five big patches? - between each expansion, and they’ve structured their stories to fit into that very specific five-act structure. If they tried to do it weekly or bi-weekly it would be a very different experience. I think there’s always room for narrative. It’s about knowing that there are different lessons to learn and not being afraid to learn those lessons, as opposed to trying to fit the traditional box product square-peg narrative into a live service round hole. And that’s why you need to have a strong vision and why you need to have somebody at the Director level who understands and plays the kinds of games that you’re building, so they kind of understand what works and what doesn't - ‘This type of story worked really well for this game, and I'm not saying you should copy it, but you should at least be willing to learn those lessons and not reinvent the wheel every time.’

We’ve been making games for a long time now, there’s lots of lessons to learn, we should be trying to learn from them and not trying to like, change everything every single time.”

-

[on length of narrative] “In a lot of cases you know how long your game should be and the hardest part is sticking to that. [...] There is always a worry that fans are going to see a number and be like ‘That’s not big enough or that’s not long enough.’ I do think that there is sometimes a lack of confidence in what you're building, and a desire to make it shorter or longer, but I think at the core, the people building [a] game know how long it’s going to take to tell this story that they want to tell. I say this specifically for narrative, but even stuff like progression, you know how long you want it to take. For myself, I will always take a short but well-executed game over a long game that feels that it has a lot of [useless/boring] padding. It’s about identifying the kind of game you’re building. Open-world games are always going to be bigger and longer than more linear games. Being confident in that number and recognizing when you’re adding time and space for no other purpose than just to make that number on the back of the box longer [is important]. Fans don’t love that, they can see right through that.”

-

“It was nice to see the amount of hard work that went into DAI rewarded by the press [with the Game of the Year award]. There are definitely parts of it that didn't land that we wish we could have done differently, but it was a project that felt like we were all pulling in the same direction and when we started getting that positive feedback, it was definitely a sense of relief. Especially because a lot of us had been on DA2, and while we were proud of that project, it obviously didn't get the reception that we wanted at that time.

[when they were watching DAI’s release and tracking its reception] We’re keeping a running tally, like ‘Okay, this is really looking like we did something special here’. I’m proud of every project that I’ve worked on but DAI is definitely one that I’m especially proud of.” 

-

“Part of the advantage to being at a company for as long as I have, I've worked with a lot of the other people [responsible for things in other departments like art, writing, audio etc], so while there is that anxiety like ‘I reeeally hope that this works out’, I know it’s going to, because I know that everyone who is doing these roles, like our Animation Director, our Audio Director, Levels, all those other people on the project know what they’re doing and they know their shit better than I could ever hope to. So I’m just kind of standing here like ‘Hey y’all this is what we need’, and it’s coming in. And when it does come in, when you see the pieces together - I think for myself, on DAI, the moment that I first finally started feeling like it was really all coming together was, one of our music designers, going into one of the moments at the end of Redcliffe, doing the music/audio pass, and me finally seeing this scene that I’d been staring at and banging my head against for months - turn into something that actually conveyed emotion, that actually was something that I was excited for our fans to get to see and get to experience. That’s always a special feeling.”

Cinematics is one of the last things to come in, which means that audio is always waiting for them to come in: “They always did an amazing job with very little time, I will never not praise our audio and music designers.”

“Patrick Weekes is the Lead Writer, which means ultimately PW is responsible for the writing side of the game. As Narrative Director, I’m there to offer, to basically take the vision of the project and interpret the part that focuses on narrative and then provide that to my team - because I work with writing, cinematics, level designers and everyone - I’m there to be like ‘Hey this is the narrative we want to achieve’, which sometimes involves getting involved in the story side of things. But a lot of that is PW’s job as Lead Writer, they’ve been doing it for a long time, they’ve been in the industry longer than I have. It’s a really good working relationship. We worked together when I was in cinematics and they were in writing, we worked together on the Iron Bull, then we were both leads on Trespasser, so we have a trust.

I think what’s been really helpful is that they know that if I tell them something’s not working, it’s not coming from ‘I wanna do it my way, you better just do it my way because I’m the boss’, it’s coming from ‘This is something I think we need to do for the project’. And vice versa, if they push back on me about something, I know it’s not coming from ‘Screw you I'm the Lead Writer, I make the decisions’, they’re saying it because this is an actual concern. I do writing, I’m a writer on the project too but I will fully admit PW is a way better writer than I am, so I'm comfortable leaning on them for that stuff, and then I’m the person who can provide that ‘Okay, we know that gameplay is providing this, we know levels is providing this, let’s shift the priorities'.

It’s also about knowing, being able to take that back from any one discipline and say ‘Okay, what is the right decision for the project as a whole’, and sometimes that means telling PW something that they may not think is their favorite thing to do, but they will listen because they trust me and I trust them. I don't know how it works at other studios, there are places where Narrative Director is also the Lead Writer, or where there is Narrative Director and Lead Writer is the highest authority on narrative that exists, but it’s worked for us again because we have that lengthy experience. It would be interesting to see how it would work if we didn’t know each other for a while before this. It’s largely a relationship of trusting each other to know our areas of expertise and also just understanding what’s important to the narrative vision of the project.”

When they did Tevinter Nights it was ‘extracurricular’ work: “It was fun, I got to do some writing, I got published, which was really fun”.

[source]

[☕ found this post or blog interesting or useful? my ko-fi is here if you feel inclined. thank you 🙏]

#dragon age 4 #the dread wolf rises #da4 #dragon age #bioware #video games #solas #long post #longpost

[reverieblue98]

How to Write a Hero: Dan Harmon Story Circle

Dan Harmon, a producer and writer, came up with this formula for writing a hero’s story. This post will take a good look at it, and break down into easier pieces to digest. 

To better explain this style of writing, I’m going to use Spider Man’s backstory, because he’s the perfect example of a hero! I’ll explain what the step involves, then compare it to Peter Parker’s origin story. There are eight steps to Harmon’s circle, so let’s get started!

1: You

The first step is very easy! Establish your character, and the world’s status quo. You can introduce what relationships they have, what job they have, etc. In Peter Parker’s case, he is a high school student in NYC who loves everything science and math. Very simple, but very important! Get all important character or world building pieces out now.

2: Need

When you see need, most authors will think of the things that drives their main character to do whatever it is they need to do. However, in this style of storytelling, the need doesn’t have to be big so long as it paves the way for a bigger problem or need. 

In Peter’s story, once he got his powers, he wanted to test them out in a fighting ring. Not a big need, but it creates something bigger...

3: GO!

In this step, your hero will set out to fulfill their need! Outline what the hero must do, and why it is important that they do it. 

In his origin story, Peter goes and fights in the ring, testing his amazing abilities. I want to point out that your step three will look different than Peter’s step three, because his is just an origin story. There’s not a whole lot of detail, but if your whole book is about the hero’s journey, yours will probably end up longer. (which is expected!)

4: Search

Here’s the part where you show the reader that the path isn’t as straightforward as it seems. Create some roadblocks or problems, anything that prevents your hero from getting what they need. 

In Peter’s case, this is where he is asked to stop a thief, which he does not. This creates the horrible event of his uncle dying. This is the big problem, the one that will change the hero permanently. 

5: Find

Now, the hero will find what they were looking for in step two, but not how they wanted to. This is where your main problem breaks down into a ton of different ones, all stopping the hero from getting what they need. 

In Peter’s story, this is when he realizes what his powers could actually do. That’s what he was intending to find out in step two, but not like this. This problem should be devastating to the hero. It can be introduced as early as step four, established in step five, and even carry on to step six if you want. So long as it forever changes the hero. It must be big!

6: Take

Now your hero has what they originally wanted, and they need to take it. But, it won’t come without a price. The hero will realize what they need to do to fix the problem introduced in step five, and it will require sacrifice. Peter realized that there were millions of people who had loved ones die to murderers as well, and knew he wanted to avenge all of them. In doing so, he could possibly be sacrificing his life. The stakes are higher and the problem is bigger, so the reward for the hero (and reader) will be sweeter. Be sure to show just how difficult solving this problem will be!

7: Return

Now, the hero is beginning to return to the start. The calm before the storm, if you will. They have been changed fundamentally by the events of step five and six, and so they have a new need/problem that needs to be solved. For Peter, this step was realizing his new need of protecting NYC. This is a very important step in setting up a good ending, or paving the way for a series. 

Your hero needs to be a changed person, with their new goal engraved in their mind. The new goal they have should be fueled by the devastating event that happened to them. The reader should understand why the hero needs to do this, and want them to get a happy ending.

8: Change 

This step is also known as the final showdown. In this step, the hero uses everything they learned to solve the problem/fulfill the need. Peter fights the criminals who killed his uncle, and promises to protect people from this happening to them. 

The ending is sweet and makes the reader proud, because they could see how difficult it was for the hero to get there. That’s how stories that use this format should end: The reader should feel happy for the hero, because they deserved it! They went through hell, and made it out better and stronger. (This is where the circle would start again, especially if you plan to make a series out of the story.)

Whew, that was long! This plot outline really revolves around pain motivating the hero. Maybe not so good for a happy-go-lucky character, but perfect for your dark and brooding heroes. If you have any questions about Dan Harmon’s Story Circle that I didn’t address here, don’t be afraid to ask! My dms are always open. Happy writing!

-RB

#story concept #story circle #plot #plots #plot outline #plot outlines #how to plot #how to make a plot outline #how to outline #how to plot outline #plot outline ideas #outline help #story outline #book outline #types of outlines #plot tips #plot help #plot ideas #hero #hero story #origin story #hero backstory #backstory #origin #heros #heroes #heroine #dan harmon #dan harmon's story circle #writing help

[that-bi-bitch-writes]

A Cursed Reality- JJK x Male Reader (Ch. 3)

This has a couple time skips. They aren't huge and I didn't know how to format it so I just put little dashes to imply there are time skips.

A lot of this material is taken straight from the manga and adapted a little to fit [Name] and there's a hint to his greater power/purpose in the story as well as his background. Enjoy!!!

Previous // Next

Chapter Three: In hindsight [Name] probably should’ve minded his own business. Actually, NO. He was going to blame everything on Gojo. If Gojo hadn’t sent him on that mission to play dutiful senpai [Name] never would’ve gotten involved with Sukuna’s vessel beyond being his upperclassman. But noooo. Now [Name] actually feels something for Itadori, including an obligation to check on the kid. Yuji would most likely be fine, he was being protected by Gojo, and like [Name]’s favorite Sensei, Yaga seems to at least consider Gojo’s opinion when making decisions. His power is well respected regardless of whether or not the blue-eyed Sorcerer is liked. The problem, in [Name]’s own words, was ‘that damn principal’ who liked to torture some of the more problematic recruits. Yaga of course called it a form of vetting. He didn’t want to enroll any students that would die way too easily or cause more problems than they were worth. With people like Yuji and [Name] the whole vetting process became troublesome. Straightforward but complex. They didn’t hide anything really and didn’t have any secret motives, but there were a lot of unknowns in their lives. Especially about where they came from and how they would act in the heat of the moments. ---------------- “Whoa! It’s in the mountains? Is this really Tokyo?” “This isn;t actually out of the ordinary for a tokyo suburb” “What about Fushiguro?” “He’s fast asleep after receiving jujutsu treatment” -------------------------------- “Fushiguro-kun!” “Hmm” “Fushiguro!” “[Name]-senpai” “Where is Gojo-sensei? Is he back with Yuji yet?” “I’ve been asleep, but Gojo-sensei said he’d leave at 6am” “That was three hours ago” “Yeah” “Good! So they haven’t made it to the principal yet. Sweet dreams Fushiguro-kun” “I’ll come with you” “You’ll need your rest” “But-” “Sleep” and with that [Name] darted out the door hearing Megumi’s body hit the mattress once again. [Name] had to warn Yuji about the principal. Knowing Gojo he’d probably stress the kid out and throw him to the gorilla. Yaga of course being the gorilla. ------------------------------------------- “First thing’s first, Yuji--” Gojo started “You’ve got an interview with the principal.” “The principal?” “If you mess up, you might get rejected for admission, so stay frosty, okay?” “WHAT!? DOES THAT MEAN I CAN GET EXECUTED RIGHT AWAY? Yuji shrieked “What a disappointment... I thought you were the leader… A hierarchy not based purely on strength is boring if you ask me” Sukuna raged on before being slapped into silence. “Sorry Sensei, He comes out sometimes….” “What an interesting body you have now.” Gojo noticed “I owe you a debt, after all” “Not again” Yuji shouted Sukuna ignored Yuji and continued “When I make this Kid’s body mine… You’ll be the first one I kill!” “Silence” “Me a target of the great sukuna? What an honor!” Gojo continued as if nothing had happened Sukuna hadn’t disappeared yet but couldn’t open his mouth. [Name]’s cursed command had a little more strength in it than normal. Gojo may have been immature, unfairly attractive (something that pissed [Name] off for reasons “unrelated” to jealousy) and extremely annoying, but he was the closest thing [Name] had to family. He was there to drag [Name] from out of the wreckage after the accident and he was the first person to welcome [Name] to Jujutsu Tech. So yeah, Sukuna’s threat pissed [Name] off a bit. Yuji finally shook Sukuna off and continued to talk to Gojo. About what [Name] has no clue, the two of them were easily excitable and all over the place. In the meantime he was trying to think of advice to give to Yuji before he was thrown into Gorilla territory. Yaga wouldn’t let [Name] stay for the interview and [Name]’s not exactly sure he’d want to anyway. “Hey Puppy!” “Puppy?” ‘Oh shit’ [Name] thought ‘I totally meant to say Yuji. Okay [Name] just breeze past it’

“You’re going into some dangerous territories/ That old man will be looking for a reason to throw you out. Don’t screw up. Just be yourself... but like the you on ADHD meds” Gojo couldn’t help but snicker and [Name] shot him a look as if to communicate ‘the same can be said about you Satoru’ before walking away. “Thanks [Name]-san!” Yuji called after the retreating boy. He then became incredibly serious “Sensei. You said you’d win. But between [Name] and Sukuna… would he lose?” “I don’t know if he’d win” Gojo said before a pregnant pause “But he wouldn’t die. I know that for sure.” Within Yuji, Sukuna hummed in curiosity. That boy had no trouble overpowering Sukuna. And with one word at that. Of course, right now he had only the strength of one finger, but for the boy not to break a sweat. He couldn’t help but think things were getting interesting. ----------------------- “This is your room, you can do whatever you want with it.” “Whoa it’s huge” “The second- and third-years are out right now. You’ll meet them soon enough. Though there’s not many of them anyway” Yuji whistled, putting up a poster of a woman in a bikini before pausing. “What about [Name]? He asked “Is he out too?" “I actually don’t know. It depends. You see [Name] has a very special relationship with the other second years and sometimes that means trouble for missions, so it’s a 50/50 chance on whether or not he’s still here” Yuji hmmed and Gojo stared at him in silence. “Yuji you don’t need to fight, you know. Fushiguro and I can go and retrieve Sukuna’s fingers. Why don’t you just wait here?” Yuji faced the wall and seemed to be immersed in thought. In all honesty both he and Gojo knew what the answer would be. Only one day was needed to figure out the type of person Yuji was. “No! I said I’d do it didn’t I? But it would be hilarious to see a beaten-up Fushiguro bring the fingers to me while I relax” Both he and gojo thought about it a little. Gojo agreed it would be funny. “Okay! To be honest there’s no way you’re not fighting” “Hey! Was that a test?!” “If they were that easy to find we would’ve found them already! There are some with a large overwhelming presence. Others that keep quiet. And some that have already been consumed by a cursed spirit. “With regard to searching for these things… It’s gonna be a pain. But now we have you. In order to regain its power… The sukuna you consumed will direct you to the whereabouts of the fingers. You’re a vessel as well as a radar. We’re gonna need you in the field” “I don’t think the guy inside me’s that considerate...” “I think we’ll be able to come to a win-win agreement” Gojo concluded “Huh you’re next door? There’re a bunch of empty rooms aren’t there?” “Hey! Fushiguro! You finally look better! And [Name]’s with you” “What kind of an upperclassman would I be if I didn’t check on the first years. It’s my responsibility to make sure you’re all happy and healthy” [Name] said trying to keep up some charade of being a good student. “You woke me up very aggressively” Fushiguro countered “That’s neither here nor there” “I thought it’d be more fun and lively this way. And obviously I was right” Gojo answered Fushiguro’s question pointing to an oblivious Yuji who was looking at [Name] with pure adoration in his eyes. [Name] looked at the pink haired boy with well hidden fondness. If you didn’t already know [Name], you’d think the blank look on his face meant he hated the kid Fushiguro stared at them for a moment before realizing he’d rather argue than let Gojo be right. “Classes and missions are more than enough!” “Anyway… It’s fine!!! More importantly we’re goin’ out tomorrow!!” Both Yuji and Megumi stared at Gojo. Yuji in surprise, Fushiguro in annoyance “We’re going to get the third first-year student. “Count me out” [Name] spoke up reminding everyone that he too was still there “I’ve got somewhere to be” “Ooh [Name] has a daate” “Can it old man. I’m just going somewhere with Toge” “How is that any different from what I just said”

[Name] ignored the teacher and stalked off toward the second year dorms. “See you later puppy, emo kid”

“Wait for me!” Gojo called out chasing after the second year “I’ve got something to talk to you about”

----------

“So who’s Toge?”

“Inumaki-senpai’s a second year and the one of the only people [Name] likes in this school. I can count them all on one hand.”

-----------------------------

“So,” [Name] paused “What did you want to talk about?”

“Yuji’s at risk. I can tell you kinda care about him and Megumi so I’m going to use that. When I’m gone you have to protect them. Any means necessary. That includes cursed storytelling”

[Name]’s eyes widened at the mention of his technique. The power itself wasn’t as strong as a domain, but in [Name]’s hands it was deadly. Only he and Gojo knew about it, and if Gojo wanted him to use it, he had no choice.”

“Okay”

#male reader #x male reader #male reader insert #reader insert #a cursed reality #jjk x male reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x male reader #jjk x m!reader #male!reader #jujutsu kaisen #inumaki x you #that bi bitch writes

[auroracalisto]

something there—chapter one

summary: the reader is a part of a great prophecy revealed to geralt and jaskier by an unnamed witch.  the only problem?  well, see, there’s multiple.  she doesn’t believe that it’s her, and she lives in 2020.

pairing: hinted jaskier x geralt, nothing really more than that, future jaskier x reader x geralt

word count: 1.7k words

warnings: mmmmm cussing.  like i probs dropped the f-bomb five times in one sentence.  female reader.  other than that, nothing.

author’s notes: i legit got this idea while driving home after work and it took me forever to figure out what i want to do with this (at least with the first chapter).  i hope to continue this, but i’m not sure how often i’ll be able to pump out parts for this.  i am super excited for this tho.  i cannot tell you how many geralt and jaskier stories i have read....... and we are not going to discuss this here.  i hope you all enjoy!!!  also i’m trying out a different format for my posts?  summary + little snippet of story if it’s a longer one?  and then the pushed out part uh

"Aren't prophecies supposed to rhyme?"

The witch looked at Geralt with an exasperated expression, before she cleared her throat.  "The two of you," she said, looking at both the Witcher and the bard, "need to find a girl with a profound knowledge in music and storytelling. A virgin maiden from lands far, far away, with a heart big enough for two others."

Jaskier looked towards Geralt, a confused look spread across his face.  

"She will help you find what it is you're looking for," she said, pointing towards the Witcher as she spoke.  "When you wake, the two of you will be teleported to her lands.  Her heart is pure enough to help you with your journey.  Her soul as pure as the driven snow.  You will have two weeks to convince her to travel back with you, and you will be able to continue with your own travels.  Or, you will be stuck in her lands until someone from our world goes searching for the lost Witcher and his bard."

"Woah, woah, woah," Jaskier held up his hands, frowning deeply at the woman.  "Teleported?  Her world—pardon?"

The witch just smiled at him.  In just a moment's time, she disappeared from in front of the two and Jaskier and Geralt were left, stewing in the prophecy she left them with.  

[]

[Your name] woke to the soft chirping of birds coming from the outside of her window.  She slowly peeled her eyes open, groaning softly.  She had stayed up until five in the morning, once again, working on a never-ending project.  It was only ten in the morning, but she had to be awake so she could call her boss and figure out what it is that she needed to do next.  The woman slowly got out of bed and placed her feet on the bed.  However, she took one step forward and she went tumbling to the floor after tripping over someone.  

"What the—"

[Your name] quickly turned around and her eyes grew wide at the sight of a man lying in her floor.  He had quickly sat up, knocking his head against her bedside table.  With a groan, he put a hand to his forehead, looking around.  His face grew pale.  "What—"

"Who the fuck are you?" [Your name] quickly asked, scrambling to her feet.  She took a couple of steps back, her heart pounding in her chest.  

The man's eyes widened as he looked over at the woman.  She began to notice how he was dressed—it reminded her of the old historical dramas she used to watch every Sunday with her grandmother.  

"Who the fuck are you?" [Your name] repeated.  

"Jaskier..."

"Okay, Jaskier, why the fuck are you in my bedroom?"

He let out a curt laugh and he leaned himself up against her bed.  "How the hell am I supposed—" he stopped himself, hurriedly getting to his feet.  "Geralt?!"

"What?" [Your name] paled.  There was another man in her apartment?  Not to mention, her quite run down apartment?

White hair became visible in her line of vision and she quickly backed up to her wall.  "What the fuck?" she breathed out.  "Who the fuck are you?  How did you get in my house?  Where's my fucking phone?"

[Your name] quickly rushed to her bedside table, grabbing it off of the charger.  She went to dial 911, only to discover that her phone was completely shut off.  The black screen never lit up.  She looked towards the men, trembling.  

The white haired man, known as Geralt, began to frown.  "We need to talk to you."

"How the fuck did you get in my house?" Geralt frowned even more.  "A witch."

[Your name] blinked a couple of times.  "Excuse me?  Are you fucking dumb?"

Jaskier snorted under his breath as he looked over at the Witcher.  

"No.  I'm not.  We need to talk to you."

[Your name] looked back down on her phone, just to make sure it wasn't just lagging.  It was an old phone, and sometimes, it would do that.  She clenched her jaw and closed her eyes.  She had nothing anymore—no family, a crappy apartment, and an especially crappy job that she was constantly pulling all-nighters for.  [Your name]'s gaze switched from Jaskier to Geralt before she gave a small nod.  

"I... fine," [Your name] said, swallowing thickly.  "Fine.  But," she looked down at her clothes and blushed even more.  "Get out of my room.  I need to at least change my clothes—"

"—that's what you're calling that?" Jaskier smirked at her.

Her eyes widened and she nearly shoved his arm.  "Get out."

Geralt had already left, and Jaskier couldn't help but let out a soft laugh.  He left the room.  [Your name] quickly shut the door and pressed her back up against the wood.  Her heart throbbed in her ears and throughout her body.  Surely, she was just hallucinating and having a heart attack.  A stroke, maybe.  Could it have been a manic episode?  

[Your name] went over to her clothes and quickly pulled out a pair of jeans and an over sized hoodie.  She combed out her hair and ran to the bathroom to brush her teeth before she came out into the hallway.  The men weren't there.  Perhaps it truly was just a bad dream.  She frowned and walked out to her living room/dining room/kitchen—three in one.  She saw the two sitting at the table.  Jaskier had quickly pulled his hand away from Geralt's, who just pulled his hand closer to his body rather than completely pull it off the table.  [Your name] blushed and went towards her kitchen.  

"Do you... do you guys want anything?"

"Being hospitable now, are we?" Jaskier sent her a smile.  

"You're both sitting at my dining room table.  Why wouldn't I?"

Jaskier rose his eyebrow, but he didn't say anything else.  

While she made a pot of coffee, he curiously watched her while Geralt looked around her small home.  He had quite a few comments to make, but his face would never show it.  [Your name] poured herself a cup of coffee and made it just how she liked before she hesitantly came over and sat down across from the two.  She cleared her throat, her finger tips gently tapping at the warmed mug before she spoke.  

"Who are the two of you?"

"Geralt of Rivia.  This is Jaskier."

She rose an eyebrow, slightly nodding.  "My name is [Your name]."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Jaskier grinned, "[Your name].

"Wish I could say the same," she meekly grinned.  "Can you please tell me how you got in my apartment?"

"Like I said," Geralt cleared his throat.  His voice was deep—part of [Your name] wanted to melt at the sound.  "A witch sent us."

[Your name] fought the urge to roll her eyes, but this did not go unnoticed by the Witcher.  He kept his eyes on her, quiet as he did so.  

"A witch sent you.  To my cheap ass apartment.  Likely story."

"He's not lying," Jaskier said.  "He's telling nothing but the truth."

"Yeah?"  This time, she did roll her eyes.  "Prove it."

"Our clothes are not enough?" Geralt asked.  "You are not from the lands we hail from.."

[Your name] looked at their clothes once more.  She had noticed Jaskier's earlier, but the more she looked, she realized how old fashioned they looked—how worn they seemed.  [Your name] crossed her arms over her chest.  She hesitantly looked towards Geralt and gave a small nod.  

"Alright.  I'm listening."

Geralt looked towards Jaskier.  Jaskier returned his gaze and he pursed his lips.  

"Are you going to tell her?"

Geralt huffed softly.  "Yes.  This witch.  We went to her for guidance.  We've been looking for a way to defeat..." he stopped for a moment, looking at Jaskier again.  "To defeat an enemy for some time.  She sent us... here, with a prophecy."

"And?"

Geralt looked at her.  

"What's the prophecy?" she asked, sipping at her mug of coffee.  The steam rose and warmed her chilled face.  Only now did she realize how cold it had gotten in her apartment.  Her heating bill must have failed again.  She cleared her throat, looking at Geralt again.  "Well?"

He frowned.  "A virgin—" Just with that, [Your name] choked on her coffee and she began to blush.  "What?"

This caused a small smirk to form on Geralt's face.  Jaskier saw this and he couldn't help from his smile forming.  

"We are to convince a virgin maiden from lands far away to come back with us to defeat our enemy." he said.  They are profound in music and storytelling."

"Definitely not me," [Your name] blushed.  I'm not profound in anything."

"Ah, so you are a virgin?" Jaskier grinned over at her.  

[Your name] just shot him a look as her blush darkened.  "What else?" she asked, looking back at Geralt.  

"They are to have a heart big enough for two others...  I am still not quite sure what that refers to.  Her heart is pure enough to help us." the Witcher spoke.  He looked towards Jaskier once more.  

Something just told [Your name] that there was something going on between the two—the looks they continued to share made her heart melt in a good way.  Every look was filled with love—one that she wasn't familiar with, but one that she would love to learn to expect from someone.

"We have two weeks to convince her to travel back with us.  Her soul is said to be as pure as the driven snow."

"Alright, alright, but," [Your name] sat her mug down, stuffing her hands in her sweatshirt pocket to keep them warm.  "What does this have to do with me and my apartment?"

"Perhaps you are the one to help us find her," Jaskier said.  

Geralt nodded.  "That is what I have come to understand."

[Your name] tilted her head back as she thought, taking in a deep breath.  "Right.  So.  Two totally hot men show up in my house and tell me I'm supposed to help them with some damned prophecy?" [Your name] looked straight at Jaskier.  "Are you sure I'm not having a stroke?"

He stared at you for a moment before he grinned.  "Hot?  Is there a reason to refer to us as hot?"

[Your name] eyes widened a bit and she shook her head.  "Just ignore that I said that.  You don't know what it means, do you?  God," she groaned softly and squeezed her eyes shut.  Clenching her jaw, she spoke one last time before grabbing her coffee mug.  "Fine.  What is it you need me to do?"

#geralt x jaskier #geralt x reader x jaskier #geralt x reader #jaskier x reader #multipart #first chapter #the witcher #female reader #reader insert

[writing-frenzy]

Care to Make a Wager? (SVSSS Fic)

Summery: No System AU: In which Airplane finds he has a new lease in life, but of course it would have a cost. Of course, being the creator of this world gives him quiet the price cut. Not to mention the untended bonus content.

Still, he did not expect the direction his life would go.

(Warning: mentions of death, violence, and most stuff you could find in SVSSS Canon. You should be good, but here is a just in case.)

---

When one Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky was reborn, he really wanted to curse his lot in life. Sure, he had been born into a rather well off Merchant Family, but when the Lord of the Family has two Official Wives and a crap ton of Mistresses on the side, things were bound to get crazy.

Luckily one Shang Huan had one hell of a Mother; in another life, Airplane might have described her as a ‘killer queen or a ‘boss ass bitch’, but as his mother, he just thought of her as the most amazing woman on the planet. As it was, She alongside a whole bunch of tutors taught him everything he needed to know about the world and then some. 

(Sewing was a bitch to get right.)

But with those lessons, it didn’t take long for Shang Huan to realize he was in his own fucking novel; it had not been a happy realization, making him break out into a truly childish tantrum, filled with screaming and tears that only calmed after he was given some delicious melon seeds.

(Luckily it had been attributed to wanting a snack after a morning full of lessons, otherwise he probably would have gotten the switch for it...)

But with all this knowledge of his place in life now with him, Shang Huan needed to start planning; good thing that was one of his specialties.

Noting down every bit of information he could, Shang Huan mapped out as much items and cheats he could afford to take from the Protagonist, as well as places he could and couldn’t go, hazel eyes narrowed as he messily scratched out his plots with his trusty quill and journal. The many lessons he Mother made him go through only helped to sharpen him, as well as learn the world’s common sense.

He was having a good go at it, building himself up as much as he could before something completely from left stage truly changed his course.

“There is a legend of Dreaming Glory, said to be a treasure to ensure great health and excellent rest. Though be cautious, for it is guarded carefully by the spirit of a Felled Divine Beast, angry and resentful of the betrayal it had faced.” was a tale a wandering storyteller spun, a group of children ooooing and awwwwing at the right places, even as Airplane felt his jaw drop at the information, focusing more on those words then the candy his mother allowed him to buy at one of the festival stalls.

See, while the Legend of the Dreaming Glory was definitely right at home with this world, it actually hadn’t been anywhere in Proud Immortal Demon Way; it had been in one of his earlier short stories, where Airplane had been practicing with the Xianxia/Xuanhuan genres (and didn’t need to rely on it, dreaming more of the theater then writing). (Until a mugging gone wrong and dreams cut short-) 

This... opened a few more roads then expected, especially if all his fantasy stories came into play, as there had been a lot of experimentation with plots and ideas until he hit his cash cow with PIDW. After all, taking something from the protagonist was always going to be a risk of somehow getting his attention, no matter how much the man wouldn’t actually need it.

(After all, showing off had always been a part of Luo Binghe’s character; showing that he was no longer the penniless street kid, no longer the weak disciple, no longer the one who was always pushed around, but now the one who can take.)  

It also meant more research; thankfully, his Mother was one to always encourage more in the way of learning, thankfully humoring all the ‘trips’ he wished to take.... In hindsight, he probably should have questioned why she was always willing to take him and go, but at the time was just thankful that he could indeed confirm places he would need to visit later and squirrel away items that were within his reach. (An actual legit Cultivation Manuel, even if it was only directed for growing crops and alchemy, was still his most proudest find, only needing a riddle to get and easily hidden in his pouch with his other learning books. Being an Author only got him so far, as every little detail was needed to ensure one stayed on a steady path, though did provide it’s own little boosts here and there.)

------=------

One day, when Shang Huan had been 13, sneakily already past the first part of Cultivation Qi Refining and entering into the first stage of Foundation Building, found his Mother to be ill, no Doctors seeming to be able to cure her (or willing too as he saw a servant of the Second Wife slip a few gold; he got his revenge in the end), Shang Huan took a deep breath and buckled down, doing all that his Mother said to do with the time she had left, learning as much as he could before it would no longer be open to him. 

(Like he could stay here in this den of vipers, without his Mother’s protection and love; there was nothing else for him here after all.)

In that time as his Mother stubbornly clung on, he listened as she mourned his chance to enter into the prestigious Cultivation Sect of Cang Qiong like the First Wife’s Third Son, Shang Shaoqing. She apologized greatly that she could not fight for him to get that chance, like so many of the other Mistresses did for their own children.

‘Huh,’ Airplane couldn’t help but think, ‘looks like I just dodged a arrow.’ though it was good to finally know just what the timeline was for the story; Shang Shaoqing was to be a certain traitorous Peak Lord after all.

As it was, his Mother showed her determination and spirit greatly, lasting till he was 16 before she finally past away, a smile on her face as she did, her son long gone with his inheritance and her blessing of broken ties, carrying her name meaning of Shang instead of his Father’s.

(If the night before, Shang Huan had decided to tell her of his other life, told her how this was a story he had happened to read, showing her a few of the treasure he had gathered, how he cried when Shang Wenyan had only smiled with a few too many teeth, her voice fierce as she praised her son with all her heart, hugging him close with what remained of her strength as she told him her last words.

“Live life however you want my child, live and dream and hope, do not be afraid to destroy any your way, and know I will love you always my greatest pride and joy.”

Well... no one needed to know about that.)

But with this new freedom came it’s cons as much as it’s pros. As he was stuck at a bottleneck in Foundation Building at Middle Stage, there was still a number of things outside his reach until at least Core Formation First Stage...

------=------

It was during his wandering, selling talismans he could make at his level, along with tales he made up that he finally got his big break.

He first heard tales of a powerful Resentful Spirit that was residing in a broken land near the Borders, no one from Demons to Humans wanting the land as it was deemed useless for all the resentful energy there, and no one bothering to pay a sect for what they considered a waste of money and time.

Shang Huan saw this, and wonder if it was what he recognized... Taking in more details and scoping out for any information, Airplane couldn’t help but wonder how lucky it was; this was indeed a spirit from one of his very first stories in fact. He knew exactly what to do.

Instead of fighting the Resentful Spirit, Shang Huan brought it pure cave water and incense, smelling of ash and jasmine. 

This certainly got the Spirit’s attention.

“What do you want Rogue?”

“I want for many things to be honest.” the brunet Cultivator smiled, not showing any teeth so as to make it look falsely gentle, “But for now, I admit I do desire your land.”

That got a huff for his efforts, the spirit a mass of negativity and ire, but actually still listening.

“You have provided the right offering, so I will give you a chance; bring me wine of the Soothing Jade Flower, the Broken Sword of Chun, and a branch of Deathly Yew... You get me these three things, and the land will be yours.” And with that shopping list given, the spirit was gone, even as the energy seemed thicker then before, the incense and water gone.  

And with an absolutely evil grin, Airplane was off; he had already remembered the Wine and branch, had even gotten them first as he had plans for them, but he had not remembered the broken blade.

Fortunately, it wasn’t too hard to find; he had written that the blade had been struck with a heavy stone in a battle between Demons and Cultivators on the borders of the land, where it would lay forever. And lo and behold, there was only one ancient battlefield it could be abandoned in, as this was PIDW.

There weren’t many left over from the borders after all, most of them being purified already. And as he thought, the Bloody Sword Grave was still around, a testament to just how much the resentful energy had soaked into the ground, demons and cultivators alike avoiding the place like the plague, even as bloody rusted swords stayed stabbed into the ground, their thirst and hatred still felt even to this day.

Couldn’t be compared to Xin Mo of course, but for being swords on the surface they sure were impressive. Ignoring all these deadly, intact blades stabbed into the ground, Shang Huan covered his face with a scarf drenched in purified Qi infused water, even as the talisman he sewed on for defense and purity glowed the more he traveled through.

He finally stopped at a blood splattered rock, digging carefully around it as he did, before he managed to pull out four broken pieces of what had once been a beautiful blade, but was now nothing but shambles and rags.

Having what he needed, Airplane made his way back to the spirit and their lands.

------=------

(This deadly spirit of a truly terrible Cultivator, who had been feared and revered for being a monster on the battlefield... cried as they saw the items laid out before them.

“Ah, no my Han-Er, my beloved figher... why you stupid, loveable fool...” The Spirit sobbed, easily using his energy to clean and reformed the blade, manipulating the energies of the other two items to aid it, ensuring the sword would still be pure, hugging it close even as it seemed to damage them.

“... He tried, to come back to you; his fellow soldiers betrayed him... He loved you so much... still does.” Shang spoke, watching as the spirit that laid resting in the blade finally came out with this truth, purifying the other as they did, along with most of the land around them.

The brunet had to look away from their reunion, their emotions a bit too much for him... This had been one of his first tragedies he had written, a solider and their beloved separated because of jealousy and hate, doomed to wait for each other forever, the solution to be so easy to have, if someone had given them a bit of kindness, to discover the truth of their separation, though never given the chance in the end... He never mention just what the Beloved’s gender was, made it ambiguous, but had in his mind of minds always thought of them as a man...

Maybe he shouldn’t have put too much of himself into his work, but a habit is so hard to break.

“... We truly thank you; as promised, the land is now yours to do with as you see fit; all you need to do is put your name on the deed and your blood into the ward stone. All the treasures inside are now rightfully in your ownership, so mote it be.” was announced, making Shang Huan turn to see two beautiful and handsome men smiling at him, before they bowed seeing they had his attention.

Airplane could only bow back, biting on the words of how he owed to them to do this at least.

And with that, they were gone, to enter finally into the cycle of reincarnation, together at last...)

------=------

Having his own place was wonderful; a lot of work, but wonderful all the same.

The wards around his land ensured no one with malice could actually enter it, along with protections against thieves and robbers like most noble Sects had. Shang Huan even went as far as to make sure he owned the plot of land in the official records, having everything stamped and recognized, even as he made sure no one actually looked too closely at what land it actually was.

He even made sure to pay his yearly taxes to the Emperor on time, making sure everything was nicely recorded and logged. (And seeing as he didn’t live in any town or such, he didn’t have to bother paying anything to any Lords for protection! How nice was that?)

But having a base of operations, one with land rich in Qi and perfect for Cultivating on, it not only gave Airplane security, but many other advantages as well.

He now had a place to securely put all the treasures he had gathered, which was a lot considering it was a variety of weapons, valuables, and even priceless seeds to plant. He could be completely self-sufficient as he cultivated, the spirits on the land easily convinced to do chores in exchange for sweets and treats (And being able to live in such a energy rich place). Not to mention how his Cultivation not only went up, but combined with other manuals that were treasures of the home, Shang was set on his way to being a powerful Cultivator in his own right.

And if he was feeling a bit cooped up, he could always go on journeys around his world, exploring and treasure hunting for odds and ends as he saw fit.

Soon enough, Shang Huan had managed to reach 34 years old, entering the Peak of Nascent Soul stage in his cultivation when, in a bit of boredom and interest, he bought out a debt ridden gambling house on the border of his territory, that rested in a ghost-like town on the border of the Human World and the Demon Realm.

It was, quiet frankly, just something to do to pass the time. It wasn’t too hard to fix the place up, and warding it had been a fun challenge of his skills, but he honestly hadn’t expected anything much of it, just putting a few of his lessor needed or easily replenished treasure up to be won. And making it to where anything bet could only be what one had to bet, alongside making sure others would have to honor it had been a fun spell to create, as he really didn’t want to be bothered by liars and braggarts and then having to chase them down. He even just made up some Golems and bargained with a few willing natural spirits to help run the place.

This was just suppose to be a fun little venture; he never expected it to blow up like it did.

------=------

It started slow; a trickle, with a whisper, a simple rumor.

There is a place where priceless treasure could be won; if you’re willing to bet for it that is. But be careful to not bite off more then you can chew, for it might be more then a bit of blood and coins you lose.

Some poor sods have even lost their very souls to the place, even now working where screams and laughter flow so freely to the terrible click the dice, the gentle flap of the cards.

It is a place no Mortal is safe, where no Demon has promise, where a Cultivator is honor bound to accept what is due; after all, no one has to enter the place, no one needs to keep coming back, no one has to bet their all, not all all. 

But oh, how they come; even those who dare not darken the doorway of that gambling hall come, filling what was once an empty town into one practically bustling with life. Funny, how it came about because of such a deadly place.

And oh, do not even bother messing with the Gilded Plane Gambling Hall’s Owner, a man who at first seems so weak and stumbling, so gentle and busy with their hard work, who at first couldn’t hurt a fly even as he smiles so prettily.

He’ll smile that same smile even as you sell your very soul at his tables, those gorgeous hazel eyes amused even as the crowds pant at his feet, screams all around from both terror and ecstasy.

(Shang Huan can’t help but sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose as he is once more offered someone’s entire being; if he’s said it once, he’s said it again, betting is at the tables, not at his feet.

Just another day it seems; hopefully there will be no explosions in the kitchen again.)  

-----------------------=-----------------------

0.0 huh, I did not expect this when I started writing; I just wanted to have Airplane have some fun in the world he created, maybe opening up a few businesses to make money on the side. I did not mean to make him into an oblivious Hua Cheng of the PIDW verse (Yes, in this verse, he will be as terrifying and pretty, I will not take criticism for it.)

Also, I was greatly inspired by Nighthaunting, though instead of ballet I have SQH as a theatre kid whose dreams got cut short due to bad luck and assholes. I love how they have built their world, and how they say that writing was probably a side thing for Airplane, which just makes so much sense. Also, I am all for Airplane being scary and fully taking advantage of his author knowledge, so haha! Hope you all enjoyed this story~

#SVSSS #Scum Villain Self Saving System #Scum Villain Self-Saving System #Shang Qinghua #Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky #Wager (SVSSS) Verse #SVSSS Fic

[irrealismora]

Positivity Prom: Week 3

I'm getting caught up on @inkovert's Positivity Prom today.

Last week's prompt was: "What made you start writing? Writing is not always enjoyable or immediately rewarding, so think about what makes you still do it in spite of that. If you've ever given up or fallen out of love with writing, what made you (or could make you) find your way back?"

And this one was a doozy. I may have talked about what put me on the path to writing way earlier, but I think I definitely was more in depth with this one.

The whole story will be below the cut, but the TLDR version is this: I started writing because of a sincere compliment from my 7th grade English teacher, Mr. Colunga.

Before that moment, I never wrote a story with the intent for it to be a book; I wrote stories to be made into manga. I was super into reading manga; the then Big Three (Naruto, One Piece, and Bleach), FMA, Rave Master, Fairy Tail and anything else I could get my hands on. I didn't think too much about writing as a format or medium; I was more focused on improving my art skills because they weren't "up to par" in comparison to manga artists (I know, I was very much full of myself).

Then in 7th grade, I had to do a book project for The Giver by Lois Lowry. Basically, there was this whole list of different projects that were worth a certain amount of points (like, 10, 25, 50, etc.) and you had to complete enough projects to equal 100 points. Of course, the point amount corresponded to the amount of involvement/effort for each project. But there were a couple of projects that would equal 100 right off the bat, so I was like, "Fuck yeah, I'll do those." One of them was "Rewrite the ending of The Giver." Since I was already dabbling in storytelling (albeit in manga form), I thought that that was the easiest one of all of them so I wrote it up, turned it in, and that was that.

Until Mr. Colunga wanted to talk to me while the rest of the class was doing the daily warm up. I remember the borderline panic that I was experiencing.

"I'm in so much trouble. Oh my god, I'm gonna be in trouble in front of everyone in class." I swear, I was dripping sweat in the amount of time it took me to stand up from my desk and walk to a corner of the room that was no more than 10 feet away.

Mr. Colunga just pulled out a stapled stack of papers that he was had under his arm. He kind of tapped it, his fingers splayed out so that he was mostly tapping it with his fingers. He took a breath, paused, and said, "This is really good. Have you ever thought about being an author?"

My thought process went a little like this: oh I'm not in trouble fuck now everyone must be listening to this I'm not good enough to be an author I just wrote what I thought would've been a good ending I'm not-

I just shook my head. "No, not really."

"Well, I think you have something in you, because this ending was really good. Like, really good. I almost cried at the end of it. It's incredible."

Then the librarian walked in and I thought that the conversation was over (because she probably had to talk to Mr. Colunga about teacher stuff) but then he's like, "Oh, great you're here!" and turned back to me and said, "So, I showed it to Dr. Taylor."

And Dr. Taylor is like, "Yes, it was really good. I cried reading it. Have you thought about joining the Creative Writing Club?"

And I'm like wut

"I think," Mr. Colunga went on, "that you should send this to Lois Lowry. I think this would be something that she'd be really interested in reading."

I just nodded my head, staring at the stack of paper in his hands.

After that, I don't really remember much. I just know that I never sent it to Lois Lowry, I joined the Creative Writing Club, and I gave up on perfecting my art.

I remember starting to write and wanting to write and loving writing.

I think that storytelling was something I've always loved and wanted to do, but I think writing and being an actual writer can be %100 percent attributed to Mr. Colunga.

Unfortunately, I have given up on writing a couple of times. Each reason was because of money; writing didn't make money so there was no point in it, everyone was a writer so there was nothing I could do that could possibly be interesting, I didn't have what it takes to be a published author because I'm not flexible enough to make it in an industry that needs flexibility in order to cater to your agent or your editor or the publishing house or the consumer or all of the above.

During the times I gave up on writing, I felt hollow. My head felt almost disgustingly empty. To me, writing is the background application that won't let your computer shut down right away. It was always there and it was this thing that not only gave me purpose, but gave me joy in a way that nothing else in this world could give me. Without it, I felt wrong. I felt untethered.

So I go back to writing. I always go back to writing. I realize that writing is more than a career or a hobby. Writing is my life. I'm not me without my writing. I can't imagine life without writing the stories I wanna tell, and I don't think I'll ever give up on it for the rest of my life.

#positivityprom #tbod #just writer things #writeblr community #it's personal

[thegirlwhohasnochill]

The Disease of Addiction

Euphoria Special Episode Part 1: Rue (Recap & Review)

Before I begin my official review of this episode, I would like to preface my thoughts with a bit of a primer about spoilers and trigger warnings. The show covers a range of topics from addiction to mental health. Still, I specifically want to warn anyone reading that I explicitly talk about and mention the topic of suicide in my review. If this is triggering for you in any way, please, don’t read ahead and take care of yourself! Okay, that’s it; I hope you enjoy my thoughts, and please let me know if you have any feedback or comments for my review and things I can change or fix in the future.

Where to begin with such a loaded episode...we knew the format and style of the episode would be simplistic based on the current realities of filming amidst a pandemic and what we saw to be a scene from Season 2 that the creator Sam Levinson expanded upon. Zendaya herself let us know that the episode's storytelling method would be vastly different from what we’ve already seen on the show. The format and simplicity of the episode, in contrast to the loaded dialogue and content of the scenes, are perfect. The camera takes you right into the middle of these conversations with Rue and Ali. But before we can even dive into what they talk about, we have to address the elephant in the room that is Rules. The episode begins with what is probably one of the most gut-wrenching sequences I have seen on the show. Because we know the reality and truth of their current predicament, Rue’s peppered kisses across Jules’ body and her tight squeezes and hugs from behind Jules evoke a strong sense of loss and pain for the viewer. The sheer intensity of the physicality of Rue’s affection for Jules is so overpowering and overwhelmingly present, we can almost feel the imbalance in their relationship through the screen. There is something to be said for the harsh reality of Rue’s dependence on Jules being reflected even in such a non-objective dream-like sequence. And yet, even in Rue’s wildest dreams and happiest stupor, she does not imagine the sobriety of her future. To me, that is indeed the crux of her character and the essence of this episode. Ali himself says, “The point is your sobriety.” And while it may feel like a focal point of discussion, the conversation flows in a way that seems to bounce back and forth between the two like a simple tennis match. It is easy to follow between Ali’s most potent clearest convictions about how the world works and Rue’s drug-addled hazy perception. The inherent contrast between their mental states and the different points of life in which they are both standing hit the viewer at alternate moments.

But we know Rue is not sober even as she lies to Ali and stumbles out of the bathroom, the shaky camerawork conveying her recent use. She is wearing the same shirt from the dream but has her signature hoodie on, her messy curly locks running down her back and glassy eyes staring straight ahead. The scene moves from her imagination of life with Jules to her lies about use. Her eventual admittance to being a high-functioning user happens as quickly as the conversation moves from sobriety to faith.

So I might be biased and hence don’t think I am incorrect in admitting that Zendaya has never given us a bad performance in her life. Even as she lies to Ali’s face and he is quick to call out her apparent contradictions, the faint slurring of her voice and her glazed eyes tell all. As striking as the conversation is, it feels even stranger for me to admit I felt comforted by Rue’s confession to thoughts of ending her life. And even as she admits to the darkest moments in her mind, Ali’s face and reaction are an even better neutralizer for what would generally be such an alarming thing to say to someone you barely know. As they continue to discuss her eventual relapse and all the reasons behind it (including racing thoughts encompassing “all the things I remember and all the things I wish I didn’t”), the viewer can envision the sequence of events that was shown to us in the finale - her fights with her mother and sister, her first time using when her father was fast asleep, her father’s death, her sister finding her after her overdose.

As much as I would like to quote the entire episode, I have to say Ali’s monologue about the idea that none of us are born evil and that society views mental illness and addiction as a personal moral failure rather than an overarching system many of us are incapable of overcoming, to be one of, if not the most decisive moments of the entire show. The line about coming out of the womb with “a few wires crossed” but still a beautiful baby girl eventually messing her way up through life struck a chord in me. I didn’t ask to be born this way. I don’t feel in control of my mind or the way it ever seems to work. And I’m always going to be a bad person. The disease of addiction and mental illness lets you - no, it makes you - view everything you have ever done in your life as not a consequence of the way your mind works, but as an active choice, you have consistently made, as you screwed up everything you’ve ever loved, and let down everyone you have ever cared about. The disease is not you as a person or even the way you think, and yet it is powerful enough to feel that way. Almost like the rapid cycling between mania and depression, the disease flips between, making you feel like the most powerful, invincible person alive and the absolute scum of the earth. There is nothing in between.

Ali’s backstory and his monologues about his change in faith from Christianity (when he was previously known as Martin) to Islam and the world's revolutions were fascinating. Side note: I did think the line about women converting to Islam was unnecessary, but I digress.

Rue’s understanding of the Narcotics Anonymous program's steps was the perfect way to bring in the conversation of faith. As she mentions her difficulty in coming to terms with the idea that there is greater power in charge of her behaviour and the way she surrenders herself to drugs, Ali chimes in with, “You don’t believe there is a power on Earth greater than Rue.” She disagrees and continues quoting and citing different sources she believes to be omniscient and great. And I absolutely agree with her. To me, there is no greater power than the source of art, the music that keeps me going, that feels like it’s the only thing keeping me from stopping the blood pumping through my veins. I understand Rue. But I also understand Ali. And yet, when Rue goes on to talk about the inexplicable workings of the world, my heart stops. There is no reason. There is no reason for the absolute pain and loss and suffering I’ve experienced, for the trauma I’ve witnessed and endured. For the absolutely horrifying things, the people closest to me have lived through. It is merely chaos. There is no reason I wake up every single day, regretting the fact that I did indeed wake up and that I am alive and breathing. So I Understand Rue. But Ali’s monologue about the moral arc of the universe and the unfathomable ways in which life and history line themselves up, to open our very eyes to the realizations we come to daily, is overwhelming. And yet, while he is waxing poetic about the intricacies of the world, we can see Rue’s exhausted eyes glaze over further, still unimpressed. “Maybe I’ll start a revolution like Malcolm X or something”, she quips back. But Ali is quick to counter; revolutions are no longer revolutionary.

Life as we know it is hypocrisy and foolish symbolism, only emphasizing his point about the universe's ridiculousness. Does any of it have meaning? Or is the meaningless void just another puzzle piece in a picture we will never get to see? There is also something to be said about Rue’s facial expressions as Ali continues his train of thought about her “generation”. As we often do when we hear our elders dismissively brush off our many concerns, she almost rolls her eyes. But he is listening, and he knows. “You think you’re out here fighting a revolution, and Bank of America is on your side? Give me a fucking break.” He’s not wrong. His speech reminds me of the masses of teens on TikTok creating video content specifically catered to an audience with an aesthetic that glamorizes the image of a revolutionary teen hero. But instead of a blazing bow and arrow, it is the common cell phone and a punchy soundtrack filtered through digitized audio. What would typically come across as preachy in any show catered to teens is, in fact, poignant. It also reminds me of how self-aware Euphoria is, knowing it’s guilty of falling into the same trap it accuses the viewer of doing.  

You have to commit to bettering yourself, Ali essentially tells Rue. And to me, that is the most inherently human struggle we will ever face in our lifetimes. As long as we exist, we have to face the idea that each day is, in fact, not going to be easier than the last. And when he tells her that he believes in her and that the hope of her success (that may one day come) should be greater than the failure of her current demise holding her back, I want to cry. I keep thinking about that edit of Rue to this is me trying by Taylor Swift.

The music of the song that Jules has texted to Rue swells, and it is easy to get caught up in the angst of the moment. It accompanies the words, “I miss you.” And if it wasn’t for Ali’s conversation with his daughter as background noise, one would simply soak in the gut-wrenching pain of their separation. The juxtaposition of Ali trying his absolute best to cling to his family as Rue continues to isolate herself from her loved ones and push herself further into the abyss makes my heart physically hurt.

Ms. Marsha’s spell-binding words of wisdom about sobriety and relationships compared to Rue’s tired exhaustion imminently displayed on her face make the viewer a little wary of what comes next. Her misunderstanding of a juvenile relationship with Jules is made clear when Ali confronts her about the fact that the two of them never had a real conversation about their feelings for one another. Rue’s distrust in the idea that things will eventually work themselves out stems from the fact that she feels disappointed by how her loved ones have left her so far. She eventually spirals into this negatively destructive way of thinking. She cognitively recognizes and justifies getting left behind because she thinks and believes she deserves terrible things in life. She lists examples of past deeds to further cement her argument. But Ali counters back with the simple statement that “Drugs change who you are as a person.” Regardless of her actions, he believes she is still a genuinely good individual while she argues that she is absolutely not. My favourite part of this whole conversation and the entire episode is the manner in which Ali questions Rue’s negative cognitive patterns. Her brain and mind essentially excuse bad behaviour by convincing her that she will never be a good person. Hence she can never forgive herself, and thus, she will continue to remain in this cyclical pattern. Our actions may be inexcusable, but they do not line up with our intentions. The inevitable human struggle is not whether we are fundamentally good or bad, evil, flawed or perfect, but if we are (and again, not to quote my other favourite show, The Good Place) trying to be a better person than we previously were. If we recognize that our actions are wrong and we are capable of experiencing remorse and regret for said actions, who's to say we are entirely incapable of change. This reductive polarizing, and dismissive way of thinking is characteristic of the brains of most people living with a mental illness. Our outside influences, such as drugs, can all be contributing external factors to how we conduct ourselves through life. Ali’s short bit about redemption and human beings deeming actions unforgivable forever can easily be paralleled to direct conversations we have online about “cancel culture”. The phenomenon of dismissing and reducing someone to their mistakes instead of allowing them to grow from them is a nice sentiment. Still, if we do not truly take accountability into action and witness no real changes or remorse, we can quickly get stuck in that cycle. Even if our beliefs do not line up with our actions, drugs can eventually change that. The belief system we hold so dearly, the convictions we strongly feel, can all be washed away by the simple use of drugs, Ali explains as he tells Rue about his family background. His experiences with abuse and his eventual hypocrisy as he plays the role he always feared in his family leave the viewer speechless. As we watch him tell his tale of regret, there is no woe or sorrow in admitting he is or isn’t a fundamentally good or bad person, just the thought of his attempt to change his ways that impacts the viewer.

As the viewer waits with bated breath to see what comes out of Rue’s mouth next, it is not a surprise (to me personally). Rue has no intention of staying sober because she has no intention of staying alive much longer. Ali asks her why she feels that way. She responds with her sentiments about the cruelty of the world. Ali understands. We truly are living in dark times, witnessing truly horrific events, and the fact that we even have the capacity to care any longer is indicative of our will to stay alive. It doesn’t make much sense when you think about it, but when you are so sad, so grief-stricken by the news, by the world’s turn of events, by the mere thought of witnessing more tragedy that you cannot bear to be alive any longer, it means that you are deeply invested. Invested in the way things will turn out even if you do not personally believe you want to participate or even be privy to being complicit in a system that does nothing but churn out pain, anger, and hatred. When I was at the lowest point in my life and attempted to end my own life, I was overwhelmed by the goings-on of the world. As emotionally drained as Rue is, a part of her still cares. She wants her sister and mother to know that she really tried. Just as I wanted and still want my parents and friends to be okay without me when I do eventually leave this earth. Of course, I care about what happens to them. The idea that suicide or suicidal ideation is inherently selfish is so contradictory to the reality of how suicidal individuals genuinely feel. It is the opposite. We care more than most, and we care to the point that it hurts to extend another moment of kindness to ourselves amid all the chaos and madness of the world. But still, we try. We do our best. Ali believes in Rue. He has faith in her.

The entire episode ends on a melancholy note as Rue and Ali depart the diner with Rue wistfully staring out the window as he drives her home. Ali loves his conversations with Rue and vice-versa. The fact that two people can be sitting at a diner alone on Christmas Eve talking about the beauty and cruelty of the world and everything ranging from politics to addiction to suicide to love to family and anything in between goes to show us that humans will always find a way. The fact that two people struggling and suffering from addiction can find their own way about and amidst the chaos of the world and still have these meaningful conversations about life and existence tells us that ultimately, Trouble Don’t Last Always.

#euphoria #zendaya #sam levinson #colman domingo #rue bennett #jules vaughn #rules #hbo #recap #review #nanwrites #rue #jules #zendaya coleman

[kingsbridgelibraryteens]

Teen Review Tuesday: Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson

Here’s a review from Lawer:

In a book about the countless injustices of the American criminal justice system, I should’ve expected that it would be a depressing moment followed by a depressing moment. And it took till about halfway through the book for me to realize that, no I should stop expecting things to get better for these people, the criminal justice system is very bad at fixing the problems it causes, especially for people already in bad situations. I’m not saying that I didn’t enjoy reading Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson, I’m saying I should not have read it before going to sleep.

When reading the book, it feels like an older relative is explaining their past to me, as the writing style gives off a comfortable voice and everything is explained, but not over-explained or made to feel like a lecture. This fits well with the book being an autobiography. So with this style of writing and genre of the book, the tones and messages can be shown off clearly. For example, multiple times in the book Stevenson explains a person’s upbringing, then the events shortly leading up to their arrest, their time in the courts, and then how prison is treating them. The book is good at getting you to feel really bad for the people, and then one paragraph later, you realize that it gets worse for them, and the next paragraph, it gets even worse. And I got this train of thought over and over throughout the book.

The book leads this sadness train to either fall into the ravine of despair or begin climbing up the hill of hope. And this mediocre metaphor (It’s neither of those, I just wanted the alliteration), is a good way to pivot to the book’s themes of loss, hope, and compassion. The most obvious one is loss, shown by the people who went to prison, which is losing parts of your life, and the people who were killed on death row, which is losing your whole life after losing parts of it, along with these people’s families, who had to deal with the partial or whole loss of a loved one. The theme of compassion is most shown with Stevenson himself being well compassionate to the people in the prison system and is able to know them more than just their file. Hope is shown both by Stevenson and the prisoners, in how they both hope the latter will be gain some of their freedom, and how they hope that the prison system, and its ties to racial and economic ideals in America, will be able to reform so people stop being put in prison to die (either by execution or spending life in prison) for non-violent crimes, before they finished their developmental years, and for crimes they didn’t commit.

An interesting thing to note is the formatting of the book. The story of Walter McMillian, a black man who was put on death row for a crime he didn’t commit, and the stories of people Stevenson defended showing off the countless issues with America’s criminal justice system, and these two formats alternate, with McMillian’s story being told throughout the whole book and collections of the people Stevenson defended being grouped in a chapter based on different topics. This storytelling format allows for a story to be told from start to finish with as many details incorporated as possible, and for many other stories to be told to show off the other intricacies of the justice system that don’t apply to McMillian’s story, all in one book. But across both of these formats is the story of how Stevenson was able to build up a law firm, give hope and compassion to convicted people and their families, and help change the justice system in America to not just look at the events that put them in the courtroom, but the defendants’ lives before then.

The formatting, storytelling style, and themes of the book make Just Mercy a very interesting and engaging read. (It’s also very good at making me feel very sad, though it is sprinkled with some feelings of hopefulness.) It navigates the criminal, racial, political, economic, and legal systems of America, in an understandable, captivating, and even in a little bit of a theatrical way. And that’s without mentioning many of the specifics of the book’s many stories. To be honest, I think that this book would make a very good movie.

#Teen Review Tuesday #Just Mercy #Bryan Stevenson #virtual submission #nonfiction #autobiography #memoir #weneeddiversebooks #Kingsbridge Library #NYPL

[fabulousarminsimp]

Name of love || Bertholdt x reader || Okay... This one will be sentimental. So prepare your tissue box. *sigh* ---------------------------------------------------- The world you always been so happy and proud of were shattered in this dreadful day. The day where chaos came for the 2nd time. Once, your world was so bright and so colorful with love, light, and hope. Now... all of those life you had before shattered into pieces with the truth of this chaos. He promised to show you the truth and finally revealed it on this day. The promise was he will show you who he truly is... The one who caused the destruction in Shiganshina – Colossal Titan. You thought he was just faking it because he’s a great storyteller. But, a great storyteller has a story that intertwines with his life that was never a fake. He apologized to you before this happened. He never wish to hurt you and the life with you before was a genuine escape from the dark mask he always wore. He felt free when he revealed the truth to you... but of course, at a cost. Here you are, standing right on top of the roof, gazing up at the wall where the smoke and the Colossal Titan showed. The titan kicked the gate open – letting mindless titans crawled into the district and wreaked havoc as well as deaths. The terror happened again and he showed it to you his true self. You believed him now... and your feelings conflicted. There was nothing you could do but stare. Even as your comrades shook you to wake, your mind was at a blank state. You don’t remember what transpire after he kicked the gate open, but remember you woke up reunited with everyone on one roof... including him. “{F/N}...” Bertholdt kneel down in front of you. You look up to him with hopelessness and tear stricken face. His face was pained when he saw you like this -confused and in fear. He saw your lips quiver and squeak his name in a stutter. All he could do was embrace you gently, whispering profusely “I’m sorry...” over and over to calm you down. “Is she alright, Bert?” Reiner walked over to him hugging you in a blank state. Bertholdt shook his head lightly. “Give me time, Reiner... Please.” Reiner stares at him with stoic face for a moment before turning around – eyeing him before completely walking away, heading towards Annie. Bertholdt stays there, still holding you gently with firm arms. He then lean closer to your ear and whisper “{F/N}, there is one chance where we can be free from this... I want you to trust me on this.”. You listen to him with half collected mind. Deep down you are still so madly in love with him, you couldn’t say no. Part of you still wish what transpired was a dream... All you could do was cling to him and give him the trust completely. Thus, you responded by grasping his jacket tightly with claws digging through to scratch his back. “I swear i’ll take care of you. Whatever it takes to be with you, i’ll gladly betray my fellow warriors... Neither of us deserve this... Even if i wish to come back home with them... I never thought finding you could change me this way... So, please listen closely...” he whispered. “There is only one chance we can be together... We’ll escape this place and find somewhere else to live. We’ll have to cross a sea of titans, but believe me... I’ll protect you. Whatever it takes...” “B-Bert...” you finally squeaked, “Tell me... is this a dream...?”. Bertholdt wanted to say no, but he doesn’t want to hurt the already pained you. “It’s a dream...” he lied, “But in this dream, we can be together the way we want... Free.”. Your eyes lit up from the answer and found the strength to pull away... and look him in the eye with glimmering hope. “Let’s build a future together...” you told him with sobbing voice. He forced a smile whilst gently wiping the tears from your face. “Let’s see the world and be free... Just the two of us...” “Yeah.” he nodded,

“Let’s make that happen.”. “Promise...?” “Not just promise.” he shook his head, “I vow and will definitely realize that. You’ll know it.”. You smiled back, then press your head to his chest. He stroke your hair in reassurance. He was planning on escaping and betraying Reiner and Annie. This was his plan all along. All the ideals he was taught from his homeland contradicts in this world. He no longer wish to live in the darkness that shadows his mind. He doesn’t want to become some tool for the benefit of those who hated this kind of world. He wishes to live like a normal person. Even if it cost the family’s life beyond the sea... At the very least, he saw the light of what the world suppose to be. In the name of love, he changed his path. ---------------------------------------------------- << Several days later >> You and Bertholdt survived the chaos in Trost. Most of your comrades you know did survive... but some didn’t. Your mind and sense return to your body, thus allowing you to think clearly for several days after. You chose to become a scout in the Survey Corps so you and Bertholdt could realize this plan to escape the world and live freely somewhere else. The only chance to escape was during the expedition. Bertholdt secretly planned rations and equipment necessary for the long travel, while you tried befriend the seniors so you could study the expedition formation. For several days, both of you worked under their noses (including Bertholdt under Reiner’s nose all along), conveying each other’s reports under the guise of ‘going out for a date’. They never suspect a thing... Not even Reiner who was always suspicious of Bertholdt’s behavior towards you. On the day before the expedition, you and Bertholdt took a day off and stroll to the outskirts with a basket for picnic. It was sweet moment, but serious at the same time. Both of you found a place perfect for a picnic, and thus began to relay the plans for the escape. “Here is the formation.” you showed him the plan you drew on the notebook, “Your position is right on the far edge while i’m right behind you. Perfect vantage for you to signal me whenever the time is right.”. He nodded with serious expression. “The only chance we have is when we encounter titans. I hate to say this, but... it’ll cost the seniors and comrades in the formation.” he explained. You pursed your lips – feeling guilty that you have to sacrifice lives for own selfish good. He saw your expression and patted your shoulder for reassurance. “I’ll find another way around. Maybe i can persuade the seniors to come to you for supply reasons.” “They might get suspicious, but... i don’t think there’s another way to evade them.” you told him. “I’ll have to fight to survive, but... i don’t know...” “Then run.” he responded, “All you need to do is run with your horse. Titans won’t catch up to you as long as you focus on escaping.”. “You mean... When titans come, i have to run and let the others be a distraction?” you asked and his eyes immediately went wide. “...I guess i don’t have any other choice...” Seeing you so quiet and anxious – compared to your quirky and bubbly self before – saddened him. Maybe once both of you finally escaped and found the perfect place, your mood will uplift. “This world is cruel no matter how you try to look at it... But i want to make that chance happen. Even if this plan fails, i still want to be with you. Only you...” he then held your hand and press it gently with his palm. You always feel reassured whenever his giant hand held you so gently. “Let’s make this happen!” you told him, “We’ve come this far. I don’t want to lose hope just yet!”. He nodded with a smile, “Definitely! We’ll make this happen for sure.”. Together you pressed your temple to his. The warmth and sense of hope surging into each other’s soul – making you believe that this plan will surely be a

reality. In the name of love, this future will be in our hands. ---------------------------------------------------- << The expedition >> The expedition was commenced. Commander Erwin shout the ‘forward’, thus leading his soldiers towards the field of swarming titans. So far, there are no titans in sight. But your heart is pounding so hard, it fills your entire body with anxiety. The vast open field that was supposed to be relaxing to see, only made it more eerie to gaze at. The horrific green... yet it challenges you to obtain your future with Bertholdt through this plan. In this expedition, you managed to bring half of the long travel supplies under the guise of medical equipment. None of the seniors nor your comrades suspects anything about the supply bag that rests on your horse’s back. After all, you are assigned as a medic in this expedition. “Titans sighted!” one of your senior shouted, “{L/N}! Fire the signal!”. “Y-Yes, ma’am!” You immediately grab your flare pistol, put in the round and shoots it up to the air. After the flare shot, you watched the titan eyed your team with that mindless hungry look, to which instills fear in you. Deep down, you prayed for Bertholdt to come... but he won’t be running here as fast like a lightning bolt for sure... “It’s targeting us! Prepare for combat!” “Junior! Keep your eye on the formation! We’ll handle this one and regroup once we’re done! Don’t forget to avoid abnormals!” “But, sir!” you tried to protest, but the two seniors had jumped from their horses. You are left alone to continue the road. The two seniors began to fight against the titan and swiftly cuts through the tendons with teamwork. It was surprising to see them in action as you ride your horse within the course. However, the amazing sight soon changed when a titan that walks on four appeared out of nowhere – cutting through the teamwork and obliterated the seniors within seconds. “No...! No, no, no, no, no!!” You slammed your feet to the horse’s belly – encouraging him to run faster as the titan noticed you. Even on top of the horse, you could feel the giant thumping rushing closer, and closer, then the shadow looms over you. “BERTHOLDT!!” you screamed from the top of your lungs, calling his name to rescue you. The thumping stops, but the shadow grew darker. You look back and saw the titan was in mid leap. It’s jaw open with dripping saliva... Only seconds left and your life is gone. But time stops as you watched the titan lunged towards you. You felt suffocated in the slow motion. Heart beats painfully slow as you saw the angel of death is beckoning right in front of you... ... ... ... “Rrraaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!” Time seemingly move in a blitzing pace. Once, you saw the dark angel looming over you, but now you see red droplets flew as the nape was cut by someone none other than your savior. You turn your gaze up and saw him in mid air – blade glisten by the dawn light and spread like an angel itself. He finally arrived... ... *THUMP!!* “Gyaaah!!” The titan fell jaw first right to your horse’s back leg and send you leap forward, then roll multiple times on the ground. Your gear fallen apart and scattered around upon impact, but luckily you got off with a bruise and cut. “{F/N}!!” Bertholdt rushed to you. He knelt and slides to reach you. “Are you alright?! {F/N}, talk to me!” he panicked and you groan in response. You lift your head and he quickly grabs you up. “B-Bert... Gghh...!” “I’m here for you – hang in there!” “You... finally came... *sob*” His panicked face eased when you gripped his sleeve and began to cry. The anxiety, the fear, the looming death was enough to bring all your courage to zero. That one second before death reaped all your hopes away... but it all regained when he arrived just in

time to the rescue. “It’s alright... You’re safe now...” he hugged you tightly – comforting you from the fear. “But we don’t have time to rest. We must leave before the titans swarms us.” Even though you still need time to cope, what he said was true. There’s no time for comfort as long both of you are in the red zone of swarming titans. Thus, you nodded with head hung low, and then he let you go and went to check on your horse. He saw the horse managed to get himself free from the dead titan. However, due to being struck on the leg, the horse is limping. There’s nothing he can do to the horse except take the supply bag and left it alone. Titans doesn’t chase horses so he can live free. “{F/N}, can you stand?” he asks. You lift your head – showing him your tear stricken face – then nods lightly. “I need you to do me a favor and don your gears. I’ll handle the supply bag and horse.” he instructed. “Okay... *sniffle*” With exhaustion and trembling body, you lift yourself up and jog to collect your gear. While you do that, he goes to your horse – grab the things needed before taking off the saddle and bridle to set the horse free. He then transferred the supply bag over to his horse after whistling him to approach. By the time he is in the middle of transferring the bag, you already donned your gear and test it out. “H-Huh...?! It’s not working...!” no matter how you press your grip, the hooks won’t shoot. “B-Bert, the hooks are broken...!” you told him in a panic. He spun and rush to you. Then, checks on your gear and saw that the fan was heavily dented. “It’s a no go...” he implies. “W-What are we gonna do...?! Without the gear, i can’t fight...!” “Leave it then.” “W-What?!” Without saying anything, Bertholdt took off your gears. “Wait! Bert, you can’t!” you tried to protest, but he doesn’t listen. He managed to take off all your gears and drag you to his horse. “Bert! Please, i can’t fight without it!” “Don’t worry!” he firmly told you, “Don’t worry...” his voice changed afterwards. “Bert...” “I’ll protect you. No matter what.” “But, what if there’s a swarm them?” you asked him – concerned if he fights an entire swarm alone. But, he turn to you with a gentle smile like he always show you whenever he wants you to trust him. A smile like the early dawn with soft breeze soothingly blowing from the horizon. “Everything’s gonna be alright... I swear. We’ll make it through this. Since i have the power, i can take them all in one blow, remember?” he assured you. He has the Colossal Titan powers to which the transformation could blow an entire land wipe clean. However, it comes at a risk of being known by those who are searching for them. Still, he would use it at dire times... and he honestly will protect you no matter what. “Come on. Get up on the horse.” he lean down and puts his hands together to help you up the horse. Without any words needed to be said, you put one foot to his hand and he lift you up so you can reach to the horse. After you are settled, he goes up and sat behind you – protecting you from any sort of danger. Both of you are ready to leave, but before he could do so, he spun towards the east and gaze the distance. His eyes glimmer with sorrow as he watch the sun slowly rising up to the sky. It is a farewell to the world he was born, grown and learn, then dove to the place he never expected to become. He is reborn as a new person, and now he’s on a mission for the greatest escape he had mustered. “Annie... Reiner... I’m sorry. Goodbye.” He said his goodbyes, then rode the horse with you towards the south. There is no going back now. Both of you decided to leave and challenge the extreme for an uncertain future. But, no matter what happens, in the name of love... he will be by your side. Always. Goodbye world. Our lined up silhouettes extends, but won’t meet. The wish and the

light I was searching for the scenery that i have not seen yet... The vast valley that was once supposed to be fearful and sorrow, now to you it gives you a sense of hope underneath the dust and sparse grass. There is always a light of hope within darkness when you look at it the right way. Could this be the right path you suppose to choose? There is no guarantee. However, you feel guaranteed by giving him your complete trust and heart knowing he will choose you over anything that he once stood up for. He was fed up by living in a lie. No more he will be forced to fake a smile when his heart says other. He sacrificed so much that it’s worth fighting for now. It was all because of you who woke him from a dream. A dream of which it was called a false world full of war and accusations. No longer he will be led and be toyed around... He took the courage, and now he is a free man. “Bert?” you call to him. “Yes?” You grip his hand and he switch sides so he’s the one who holds your hand. “Now that we set on this path... there’s no guarantee what will happen in the future as we go.” you told him. “I know...” “But, i know something now... I think everyone deserves a chance of life. Deserve a choice to choose. Even though we don’t know what the future holds, i want to cherish the time i have with you.” “I feel the same, {F/N}.” he pursed his lips – holding in the emotions inside him from welling up his eyes. His attempt to holding it in, however, was met with trembling voice. “We made the world into our enemy... We don’t know what will happen to us next, but...” Let’s make one promise “Promise that you will stay by my side till the end. I will do the same...” Bertholdt lips were quivering and the tears had fallen by now. Every emotions he had held from way before up till now, overflows like the river struck by the storm. “I p-promise. I’ll stay by your side... forever.” You heard his trembling voice and the droplets of his tear falling to your head, made you silently cry. “We will find a true place for us... We’ll meet again... Fall in love again... over and over...” you told him. Let’s call each other’s name that only belong to us Let's share the joys that only mean something to us Let’s make sure that our words meant only makes sense to us Let’s embrace each other’s pain that only we can feel If we can meet again in the future wherever in this world Please don’t forget About the truth and me

[agoodsfpage]

“This is Morgan Winters, Barely Alive on GLNS News!” - Part 1

Hey!  Posted this here and on the forum. Those of you who know me there will know this will not be the first time I've posted the first part of a story, promised to deliver more, and then abandoned the project within, like, an hour, but trust me, guys... I'm going to finish this one this time. I can feel it in my bones.

Anyway, something about the concept of a news reporter catching a cold has been weighing on my brain for just the longest time so I bring you this first part, in which our news reporters does *not*, in fact, catch a cold yet.

There is a little bit of sneezing and illness stuff at the end, but this is mostly about setting the scene, establishing some characters. I feel like actually having some kind of plot is a nice minimal standard to achieve with storytelling, but this might be why I'm always too lazy to finish telling them. If I do fail to post the second part of this one, my next story will just be called 'woman with a cold who is sneezing' and will just be about someone, like, going to various places.

With that in mind, do feel free to remind me to pick this up if you actually really want to see where this story (kind of inevitably) ends up going.

And, excuse the poor formatting. It is not my strong suit.

"...and despite facing calls to resign, the counselor has confirmed he'll remain in his post. From GLNS, this is Morgan Winters, back to you Alex."

   Morgan yanked the earpiece out from her ear as quickly as she could, and ran a hand through her long black hair.

   "How was that?" she asked Derek, from behind the camera, who gave a simple thumbs up in response. "Good," she said. "Now get me out of here. It's fucking freezing, and these old government buildings never seem to have any heating" "We got a taxi waiting for you outside to get you back to the studio" he replied, as he rewound the footage. "Think we're going to end up back in the van, though, if you ask me. Molly just took a phone call from the boss. Suspect she's going to be looking for you any minute now"

   Morgan rolled her eyes and sighed. "Of course she is. What now? World's tallest scarecrow just collapsed? Local teen gets tongue frozen to lampost? Or are we going to interview the mayor's husband again, and hope he's sober enough to string together a full sentence this time?"

   Derek shrugged. "I don't commission 'em, Morgan, I just film 'em. You'll have to ask her." "I'll have to avoid her, more like. I'm going to the office. I have a mountain of work to catch up on. I don't have time to do some twee interview with Farmer Dan about Potatofest '22, or whatever they want from me." "You do what you want. Taxi's that way, though. Next to the van" Derek replied, smirking, pointing to the east side of the building, and not taking his eyes off of the footage.

   Morgan sighed and made her way to the city hall car park. She spied her taxi from across the road and started to walk towards it when she heard her name in an all-too-familiar and all-too-cheerful tone of voice.

   "Slow down, Morgan" Molly called out, from behind her. Morgan closed her eyes, silently cursed her luck, and turned around to face Molly, who was dressed in a garnet-red beret, that (in Morgan's humble and, admittedly, uninformed opinion) badly compliment her curly, silver-blonde hair.

   "I am so sorry, Molly, I almost forgot to wait for you," she said, forcing herself to smile. "That's alright, I'd just disappeared to make a quick phone call" Molly replied. "From the station," she said after a slightly uncomfortable pause. "Oh, they're always bothering us while we're busy. Well, I best be going, I need to get back to the--" "Could you do me a favor, Morgan?"

   Morgan gritted her teeth, her green eyes lightly glazing over as Molly carried on.

   "You see," Molly continued barely registering Morgan's expression, "the public health department just got in touch. It's that time of year when colds and such things are going around, you see. So, the department was wondering if we could send a reporter down to a local physician's to do a quick cold and flu safety report"

   Morgan shook her head. "No, Molly, no, absolutely not. I told you, I'm done with these... nothing reports. I'm a serious journalist, alright? I have a degree-- two degrees! Two degrees, I have a Bachelors in Communication, and a Masters in Media and Journalism, okay? I should be covering far more serious topics than this. Health- public health isn't even something I know anything about. Can't you ask Alice to do it?" "We did ask Alice to do it!" Molly replied. "And?" "She can't" "Why not?" "Caught a cold."

   Morgan rolled her eyes. "Well, what about Steve or Michael? They should be grateful for any work at this point, to be honest" "No, look, the department wants *you*. They've seen you! They think you have a really down-to-earth personality and a great presentation style. Perfect for delivering this kind of message."

   Morgan paused. "They asked for me?" "Yes" "...and they think I have a great presentation style?" "Absolutely" "And a down-to-earth personality?" "Yeah, maybe. Anyway, look, if you do this, there's sure to be some more work coming your way. Good work, too. Not these fluff pieces, not these interviews with outraged retirees. You get to do what you want." Morgan really thought about it. "...No more local food and culture festivals?" "No more anything, just pure you." "...Fine. Fuck you, but... fine." Morgan replied. "When do they want me?" Molly looked at her watch and looked back up at Morgan. "Half an hour ago."

--------

   It was not often that Morgan got to visit the more affluent side of town. She lived pretty far from here, and the people who did live here were wealthy enough to keep the cameras away from their neighborhood. While she wasn't thrilled about this assignment, she couldn't help but gawp at the mini-mansions, and luxury restaurants that lined the streets.

   Still, all the money and lawyers in the world couldn't keep out the common cold. Almost every face she could spot from the van, was adorned with a red nose, or a tissue pressed tightly against it. Morgan shifted uncomfortably in her seat, as she turned her head towards her phone. She was really starting to regret this.

   After a short drive, in which Molly had to negotiate with an incredibly congested toll-booth operator, the van pulled up outside the district's medical center. Derek scrambled out of the van to get the equipment ready, while Morgan and Molly went inside to meet the nurse they were going to be interviewing.

   "Hey," Morgan said approaching the receptionist at the front desk, who was busy scribbling some notes into a pad. "Morgan Winters, I'm with GLNS news. This is Molly, I was told you both spoke on the phone about an interview?"

   The receptionist looked up from her notepad and something instantly struck Morgan about her appearance. The long, wavy red hair, Morgan had already noticed from a distance. The bright blue eyes were distinctive but didn't immediately catch her notice. No, Morgan's attention was right away drawn to the sore, red rim that ran around the woman's nostrils, that was accentuated by the sudden and thick sniffle she gave.

   "One moment..." she muttered, barely managing those precious m's and n's that would have lent clarity to what she said. She casually reached over a small PA system on her desk. "Ndurse Halloway? GLNS are here" she muttered, or something to that effect, at least. Some tinny, staticky voice gave a robotic reply, and the receptionist looked back up to Morgan. "Just take a seat with the oh-others... ih-ISHIEW!"

   Morgan was grateful that the receptionist was able to grab a tissue. Still, she would have liked it all the more if the receptionist had actually managed to bring it to her nose, some time before letting out the surprising sneeze.

   "Ugh... 'scuse mbe" she mumbled, using the barely touched tissue to blow her already sore nose. "Was the last one standing up until I came in this m-mordi-ih...it'SHIEW!" she sneezed again, clearly an aftershock from the previous sneeze, but this time, thankfully, with the tissue ready to catch it.

   'Last one standing...' Morgan mentally repeated with a degree of exasperation, before directing Molly to sit beside her in the waiting room.

   "We better make this quick, alright? I'm already regretting every second of this..." she whispered to her assistant, as the woman beside her, blew her nose for the fourteenth time. "Why, what's wrong?" she asked "What do you mean, what's wrong? This place is gross. I feel gross. I want to go back to the office, where it's... I mean still gross, but less gross than this" "Oh, hush. Don't worry about it, it's just a quick interview, bit of filming of... doctor-y things, and we can do the V/O back at the studio" "I don't know how you can be so calm about this" Morgan snapped, as the man next to Molly launched into a coughing fit. Molly simply shrugged. "I'm not bothered. I had my flu shot" she said, confidently. "Do flu shots protect against colds?" asked Morgan Molly paused for a moment. "I mean, yeah, of course, they do. They're basically the same thing. Wouldn't be much point in a flu vaccine if you're just going to get a cold anyway, surely!"

   Morgan was skeptical, but before she could open her mouth to object, she heard her name called from the reception.

   "Ms. Widters?" the receptionist asked, holding a tissue to her nose as she spoke. "Ndurse Halloway will see you both dow..." she managed, before sneezing three more times into the tissue. As she pulled it away, Morgan winced at how sore and red her nose was starting to look. At that point, Morgan realized that there was nothing she could do to protect herself. From the moment she walked into the health center, she was a dead woman walking.

#snz #snz kink

[thecrenellations]

Return of the Thief Notes, Part One: The Book of Pheris, Volume I

Notes from my first read, October 2020. (Part Two | Part Three | TaT)

Contents:  "So, so, so” watch, Costis watch, swearing, trashing the king’s attendants, being objectively wrong, boundless enthusiasm and love 

I promise I’ve had more developed thoughts since these often incoherent ones, but I’ve enjoyed having these notes to refer to - for sentimental reasons and for  entertainment, so here they are, for others who enjoy liveblogs and/or being whisked back in time to their first read of this wonderful book.

Format: Page number. My thoughts (Context?)

Dedication, Table of Contents, Exordium:

There it is – to Sounis

Exordium – vocab #1

Interregnum?!? Alyta?

Pheris!!!

Yeah I love him from the first page

MOIRA

MOCKING COMMENTS HELP! Gen lives!

A new level of unreliable narrator

Moira, messages of Gods, Pheris, messages of __

Wtf is going on in this study? A zoo?

high king vs great king vs annux?

okie dokie dude

Chapter 1

1. Susa – Costis

2. Infirmity – who gets to be hero/tell story (I started reading right after the book launch, in which mwt spent some time talking about her writing influences and decisions connect to this question - Pheris isn’t her first disabled protagonist and storyteller, of course, but it was lovely to meet him properly directly after hearing her talk about it. Book launch foreshadowing part 1...)

Melisande?

Is this why he wasn’t taught to read?

3. Always the summer

Bees!

4. Hunting cat… hm…

Ok … shrine … 😬

5. Once again we start with a disaster or having to flee

Which Eugenides precipitated

Bite!

Little monster :(

6. Falling…

:(

7. :( :( :(

His purpose? D:

8. YIKES

Chapter 2

9. Hello there! (Gen!)

Massive chair?

10. CRACKED WATER JUG (amphora motif???)

11. Triangle from seal!

Gen that’s rude to Pheris :( (“He will fit in very well with my attendants”)

Wait. This must have happened before ACoK! (nope)

12. :(

Xikander … never made an impression before

How old is Pheris? (lol)

13. Philologos come thru!

Royal closet reappears!

14. Hello weird secondhand scene!

He is Eugenides

Marina…

15. Petrus? GALEN? OH SHIT! 

Is this why Galen was called? (nope)

16. Hell yea Petrus

Miras’ golden balls oh no

All these previously unnamed sucky attendants!

17. Ula – goddess of hearth and healing

Ok … Galen … or a god? Eugenides????? (why did these options occur to me before Mr. Shows Up At Your Bedside At Night himself)

18. Finally the attendant floor plans I crave + hunting scenes!

19. EXCUSE ME he slept through Sounis + Eddis wedding!!!

Again – high king!

20. So Ion is beautiful … hmm.

Yeah … Sejanus has facets. I like it.

21. Clearly no one would know what king would do … lol

Don’t mind me just sorting the attendants on a spectrum of awfulness!!!

22. SO SO SO – ION!!!!!

How many fucking attendants are there and how many are on my hit list!

Is “the necessaries” bathrooms or like … him stealing? (just the bathrooms ... the Gen-Pheris parallels were really getting to me at this point)

:(

23. OH MY GOD THE UNIFIED CREST

Also … frogs. Frogs.

24. Big day for Gen huh

Definitely an aura of Something as he writes about Gen

25. HELLO EVERYONE

26. Sorry Kamet, Pheris does the physical descriptions better. They’re beautiful

I’m blacking out at Eddis and Sounis

27. Jesus Christ. The bear.

Cousin time!

Under the table is the new up on the roof!

Uh… twin imagery ….

Gen’s feet!

Jesus. The matching

28. Cleon … wtf? A cousin?

A trial for Sophos?

Show! Us! Sophos’s! Shoes!

29. If u throw things out the air shaft you might hit the king

Was it a chicken?

Lol nvm the guy at night is Gen. That is … very sweet

- Showing up at night

- Accent

- Complaining about Petrus

- Swearing

- One hand

I am judging Costis and Sophos for not describing the paneling in Gen’s room!

Chapter 3

30. Was it a chicken?

An earring huh, good hand huh

31. Literally screaming “NO!” at Gen. Don’t joke about dying! I am killed by Gen on annux day. This is. My boy. Yes he is perfect. Yes he will refuse to get up. I love him. I died on page 31

Philologos is still the best of them

32. Dancing bear indeed

Always the powdered gold

Ruby!!!!! <3

Aww a smile!!! <3

Pheris he likes you!

33. They both love invisibility and lost it … I cry

Erupt like the sacred mountain excuse me!

OR WORSE return to bed! Lol

34. He’s Eugenides when he’s talking to Attolia

Ouch hero talk

! from Irene!

My queen!

Hey Phresine!

They way we do <3 he’s hating it but he’s so comfortable with her

Sister and bro mention! C’mon!

I love them

EYEBROW

35. Honestly that’s a yes (“I have no idea what you mean, my queen”)

It’s so cute they hang out in the morning … like how long was it even since they’ve seen each other lol

:( tough walk for Pheris

Is it prophecy time?

Lol how long does this construction take?!

Also … she’s pregnant, huh? but no one knows (nope)

Is befriending someone weaponized as a prank count for Gen’s enemies to friends list?

Also SHOW ME the magus. I know he’s here!

36. Pheris excuse me, why not recreate this!

Lol cast off language of history indeed

Feel the thrum of the goddess!

EXCUSE ME… a minor goddess? Mystery goddess? Or Philia?

Oh Gen

37. Well, Gen, someone is having a worse day than you.

Damn, how far we come.

Aww Sounis, babe, I love you and so does Gen

[drawing of the four of them sitting in a row]

38. Artadorus???? Pomegranate?

39. HEIRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A friend! Also lol. Two smiles, for Pheris and Heiro..

40. Yesss Melheret joke in action.

Costis has left tho right?

Jesus, Melheret

SHE GAVE HIM A HORSE (I COULD NOT DEAL with this entire conversation, but then again I could not deal with this whole book.)

41. I love them all so much

“on that horse, you will look like a king” I can’t with her sense of humor

He sure did say that

I feel like I’m missing something with the fight on foot thing … remembering battles?

Helen called him Gen!

Sophos stop talking about yourself and bringing apricots into everything lol

Lol these bystanders don’t know how lucky they are. Nor does Pheris, yet

42. She’s protecting him

Also … Gen … you didn’t want to be a soldier.

43. Guards have capes

2 startled men … hm …

Oh Gen. The fucking brutal echoes…

44. :( :( :(

Gen tell your wife you’re sick!

The attendants are so dumb

45. So, so, so :(

Tell who? Petrus?

Wink!

Yes?

46. Bleeding! Salt! Lemon! Heck no! What is he, a piece of meat?

Oranges?

47. “savoring each bite as if it were my last” ... Same … but with this book

Hmm… Alyta! Goddess of the gentle rain! (despite this “hmm,” I did not put the pieces together)

48. Oh no Teleus! And someone?

Aw he realized <3 lemon water

49. Gen eat your broth lol

50. I love them.

Ion’s really trying to make up for what he did that one time

51. Without the approval of the great goddess HAHAHA

I love them. Cousin time! Growl?

Idk whether or not to be reassured, Gen.

Wow Cleon I do not like that. Also didn’t he die? (...)

Comma (“I am not, Eddis”)

Go smack him!

52. Gen I love you.

Helen I love you.

He’s so bad at self care but I love him

Chapter 4

55. love that our narrator just disappears and reappears

56. Attolia’s brother’s bedroom? Yikes. Ominous. A detail in a story we’ve already gotten, different every time <3

57. fucking attendants. 3 good ones. Medander you were beneath Costis’s notice before but I hate you. Costis didn’t have time for you or Xikos or Xikander and nor do I

58. interesting pawn talk!!!

59. <3 Pheris :(

The Gen comparisons though

:( :( :( :(

60. flamboyance <3

Cemphora bush

Bees

61. I love him

62. I love them

Also lol “Your majesty?”

63. Name … hm … (“I have deliberately omitted [my tutor’s] name here”)

64. more twin imagery I swear

WAIT … it was his birthday! Not just Annux day?!! Gen was born in late summer???

Attendant list thank you

65. laying it all out there, huh … (that one Gen quote)

Lol they’re the same but Pheris likes horses

66. Insellia! Hello nice to meet you

67. Gen that’s mean. (“He is hardly even half of one.”)

68. Coleus leves???

“I am Eugenides.” <3

Gen why

69. Gold cups???? Hmmmmm. Also lioness. Def invoking Costis. (they’re probably not the cups, but STILL)

Earth….

70. Moira! Hi!!! Rainbow shawl!

Like a rabbit!

Pester!

I’m … very sad he uses his Attolian accent with Helen

71. Aaah so good

Mortals

Moira knows another messenger?

Does he think he can’t die in battle?

72. hmm are they WRANGLING?! (Galen and Petrus and my Fire and Hemlock word association)

Kill that pastry Irene I love you

morning training with his … guard? (Is that the whole guard or a guard? Costis senses tingling once again.)

73. Oh gen.

Ouch! (“to send people to their deaths and not risk my own is contemptible”)

Is she implying he’s paying Therespides?

74. Interesting Cleon plan. So many doubles

OUCH. (“Only if he comes back from the dead.” I assumed Lader had died in the war; it’s a different ouch now. I love that they both accidentally say things to each other that poke old wounds, and it’s not a big deal but it’s also not dismissed! Their relationship has come so far, and I love them so much.)

75. Verimius – Lavia – Celia??? Somebody is queer in there!

A GUARD

This scene confuses me. Xortix? Layteres? Aris! but dice thing is less political … so maybe? (just wait....)

76. So many reasons to hate Medander

Hey Costis! You exist! KoA happened!

Gen is just … still so uncomfortable and miserable. He chose, he has people, but still.

RIP Clopius also WHAT

77. Lol Hilarion’s grand statements

78. Yorn Fordad Hello!

Luxurious mustache

The mighty Pents?

Besin Quedue – she’s coming 4 you watch out

79. RIP Baron Hippias

Chapter 5

80. Spring! Plays! Cenna!

81. Oh dear

Oh dear

At least they said he was pretty

83. ?!? :( wine

Uh oh. Stockpiling

85. What even.

AAAAAAAAAH COSTIS

86. Omg Irene. Hissing. I love her.

Also … Gen’s the viper

Also this scene was written by Pheris.

Damn.

87. oh no.

What better man

She fucking quoted Howl. I love them.

Also, bees (this scene killed me)

90. Falling?

Oh shit

Also … Juridius and Pheris, Susa and Costis (comparing demands for information)

93. oh my god (IT’S THE WINDOW SCENE)

Oh my god

Uh

94. She! Called! Him! Gen!

I love this and it scares me

Lol Chloe

Irene you learned from her though

95. D:

96. :(

97. water stuff

98. what the heck

OH NO (Quedue scene)

Hm

100. yikes

Omg

Wow.

102. yikes yikes YIKES

103. a blade has protruded from his chest (tbt to The Thief)

jesus

106. shit

Did Gen hit him?

108. lol Phresine

109. lol

I want genuinely every character’s reaction to this shit

Chapter 6

111. what the heck Gen.

112. like a god [crown doodle]

114. Perma?

116. Gen. Gen. Gen. Do not.

117. AAAA (god intervention)

122. Juridius to Dite

124. bye Iolanthe and Ileia! Tell us about Caeta and Silla.

125. did not expect so much Ion

Chapter 7

127. Fryst god of winter

She laughed!

They’re so married

128. OH SHIT (Costis ship is sighted and I remember what’s about to happen next)

Interesting timing

He rode the horse home?

131. Beauty and good, beauty and kind

134. The gods’ goodwill

Keep them safe <3

135. Is that his MOM?!! Wtf (it was!)

Pheris steal those earrings!!!

RING! SMASH BOX!

137. AMPHORA EARRINGS (and flowers)

138. I love Phresine

139. Why do I feel like all the game birds are pigeons

140. meanwhile Gen’s been hanging out with Kamet. Shit. I cannot.

WELCOME HOME BOYS!

HELL YEAH KAMET ATTEND THOSE MEETINGS!

RELIUS COME THRU

141. lethium soup! The reversal

Safe for you

142. of course he knew <3

143. Kamet time! I love him. We get to see Kamet!!!

Also … echo of Gen’s notes on Mede

145. very handsome. … gaycostis vindication (referring to @costis’s url at the time and this post. Little did I know what else was to come in the next chapter and then a few months later with the adaptation news...)

Do you know who I am?

Chapter 8

147. Of course he’s a cartographer

A favorite huh

148. of course she didn’t tell us his age!

149. the angsty window staring I crave

Music!

151. adventure, huh

I do have a soft spot for Melheret

152. concerned about amphora gift

153. Glad they can be well and united in spite!! (Gen and Melheret)

154. Pheris loves math and I love him

155. Hello Teleus. Hello olives

Lol Relius is not into math

156. pigeons. Inkpot!

157. yeah honestly. He tortures people. He was NOT tortured by the king

159. lol (“I have noted the elective nature of certain behaviors” ... I love Relius and Pheris.)

160. The Invitation! I <3 it

161. EXCUSE ME WHO

Legarus!

FOLKS HERE WE ARE (I cannot overstate how wonderful it was to read this page. I did not know who the poem was from, and “Someone loves me very much, even with all my faults” is even sweeter to reread, but it’s just ... his confidence is so different from the tentative consideration of a new philosophy of trust and love we see in KoA. And there is subtextual queerness in the books before this one, some more apparent and some more subtle (and what is obvious to one reader may be subtle or invisible to another, in these books especially), and there is the attendant love triangle a few chapters back, but HERE - here, Pheris acknowledges the real feeling and love in Legarus’s disastrous relationship and tells us directly that his lover was a man, here he seamlessly makes it clear how bi and poly Relius is, and he quietly ties these relationships and realities to his growing understanding of the world. It’s not subtext. And there’s a lot more to come, but this page really hit me, and sort of promised the “more to come” while assuring me that what had come before, more subtly, was there. I used to have heteronormative readings of both these books and myself, and when Thick as Thieves brought them crashing back into my heart after years away, I knew better about myself, and I saw that - or the possibility of that reading -  reflected in the new book, and it was such a good surprise. It meant a lot, and this page meant a lot, and that is why I’m writing a small essay to accompany this note.) 

Lol wow

162. Where are you traveling, man (this question remains)

163. Fuck you, Orutus

164. Stole an inkpot!

165. the map!!! (Kamet’s)

166. I love them!

167. The Math Master hmm

Am I an oracle (Nope! :) )

#there is SOME context #and some rambling #but i'm sure some of it doesn't make sense so i'm very up for explaining anything #return of the thief #the queen's thief #mwt #something i #rott spoilers #return of the thief spoilers

[loopy777]

What do you think of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier and Bad Batch (that is, if you’ve seen them)?

In short, I think both are pretty good! More details CONTAINING SPOILERS follow.

The Falcon & The Winter Soldier

This was pretty much a Marvel movie in miniseries form. The action, characters, production, etc, were all just like out of the movies. I enjoyed the deeper look at Sam Wilson, and Bucky made for a fun sidekick for him. I like that the villains weren't just paper-thin terrorists, although I feel like there could have been more to their characters, so that there wasn't just once 'face' as the leader and then a bunch of completely interchangeable mooks. At the very least, they should have had a designated 'lieutenant' character to play off Enfys Nest (or whatever her name was in this one), so they could have done a bit more with the group's dynamic. I really liked all the stuff with Isaiah Bradley, who I knew of from the comics but have never actually read anything about, and I'm definitely eager now to at least check out the 'Truth: Red, White & Black' miniseries.

I thought Walker made for a good 'wrong Captain America,' although I feel like he suffered a bit from the miniseries format, where his subplot climaxed in the fifth episode but then he was still doing stuff in the sixth episode, and then his epilogue went back to the stuff from the fifth episode. I don't know if that's typical of a miniseries or something got jumbled, but it felt odd to me.

Similarly, while Zemo's return was fun, it feels like his role was kind of superfluous since he didn't play any real part in the story's climax, and the show seemed to kind of land on supporting his ideology and actions? I don't remember any example of something that said he was framed as wrong by the narrative, since Sam became Captain America without becoming super-powered, and Zemo's more murderous actions all wound up making sure more dangerous super-terrorists aren't running around. So the show kind of seemed to come down on him being a bit of a jerk but ultimately right about everything important? That was a little weird.

I really love Sam's new costume and the way he's shown to move and fight in it. I enjoy angel imagery when it's done right, and this is the Good Stuff.

I think the shakiest part of the series if the Power Broker subplot. This is another case where they tried to play it tricky, but it was an easily guessable surprise, the result is a reveal that came too late to really explain anything. Something more might come of it in the future, but it feels like there was no payoff to this one. When people criticize Marvel stuff for worrying too much about advertising the next movie, this is the exact thing they're talking about. It might end up paying off really well in a movie or something else, but for now, it's a subplot that limped along and then petered out.

So yeah, overall, it's pretty strong, and could be criticized for trying to do a bit more than it can handle, but it still satisfies in the most important ways.

The Bad Batch

I didn't get a chance to watch this until last night, but now I'm caught up with both the premiere and the next episode.

For reference, I didn't think much of the 'Bad Batch' arc in the final season of the Clone Wars. It wasn't anything terrible, but it was heavily reliant on action rather than more juicy storytelling, so it felt like the weakest arc in the season. The action, at least, was more elaborate and imaginative than the usual fare, but also more cartoony and unbelievable. In a war setting where soldiers die all the time, the fact that the Bad Batch are constantly running into the thick of the fighting and winning without so much as an injury just looks silly, despite their 'super mutations.' And it didn't help that the animatics had already gotten an official release via the Star Wars website, so the weak story was already suffering from essentially being a rerun. When a spinoff was announced for them, I was both surprised and underwhelmed. A look at the early days of the Empire sounded interesting, but the Bad Batch weren't the POVs I was interested in guiding me.

But, now that it's here, I have to say that it's much more interesting and engaging than I expected. The Bad Batch are still unstoppable warriors, but the show is so far putting them in situations where simply killing all the enemies isn't going to win things for them, and making them fugitives is good framing for challenging them. I also think Hunter has been depicted as more human and interesting here, which is a good choice. I think Wrecker is also getting shown as having a childlike side to him, which fits well with his personality, and Echo's being depicted as not entirely fitting in with the rest, which could go in interesting places but for now is adding a nice bit of depth to the overall dynamic.

Omega is largely a mystery for now, but I think the show is doing a good job making her a character, compared to Baby Yoda, who is essentially a plot device. My guess as to Her Deal is that she's a super-leaner of some kind, but maybe the intention is for her to have something to do with the Force. I don't think she was made from Jango DNA, at least not entirely, but so far no other candidates have been presented. I think the show is doing a good job not just in depicting her as a child, but one influenced by having been brought up in the cloning center, where 'defective' or disappointing units are discarded. However, it's odd to hear her real accent right next to Dee Bradley Baker's fake New Zealand accent.

I know the matter of the clones being programmed with chips is a bit controversial with the fandom. I'm actually on the side that doesn't like it; I prefer the 'contingency orders' origin for Order 66, and that the Jedi had all the information they needed to guess where things were headed -- the nature of the clones, the contingency orders, Palpatine's increasingly corrupt actions -- but they never realized how it would all come together or how far it would go.

However, I think that -- so far -- the matter of the chips and the programming has been used well. It helps sell the idea of the clones themselves being victims, and makes Order 66 even more tragic. I think that's highlighted in the handling of Crosshairs, where a mix of his personality and the chip-programming has turned him into an enemy. I can see where people might want to see him fully responsible for supporting the Empire over the rest of his team, but I like how it makes him an enemy that the Bad Batch is even more reluctant to fight. He's not entirely himself, so that really solidifies that simply killing him isn't going to settle things. Maybe he can't be saved, but I think there's strong possibilities in that scenario that can help carry the series into further seasons, if it gets them.

And, as for the look at the army and the wider galaxy under the Empire, the series has once again exceeded my expectations. So far, it's given us a solid exploration; the premiere touched on quite a few elements showing how the army is changing and what that would look like to anyone who isn't programmed for loyalty, and the second episode has done some solid stuff showing the effects on the civilians. Hopefully, this trend will continue.

So far, so good. The Bad Batch once again defies the odds.