#i don't have a good reason why

[derpoprime]

po-uta lovepostinge :}

i thought he was released today but turns out it's been two days now,,, got the news this morning. he makes me so Happy

rendering his hair was therapeutic temple training istg

#porter robinson #po uta #fanart #art #i don't have a good reason why #he is like a little man to my heart #when i tell you primal joy coursed through me i am like a child on christmas morning once again #vocaloid #voicebank #loveposting #E: E: he!!! !!

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point #not a shitpost #cptsd #and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer #the truth is i know why i wasn't loved #i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings #i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing #i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance #the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it #i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer #and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!! #because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that! #it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs! #so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't. #when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to #you can look for answers and reasons and explanations #but that's not actually going to FIX your situation. #and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job) #because you don't need answers--you need a new situation #*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme* #and yes. walking out isn't always possible. #but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap. #stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air #new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust #like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be #when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole

[petricorah]

....right??? [id in alt]

#zukka #zukka fanart #zuko #sokka #myart #avatar the last airbender fanart #i am going to fight colors. im done with how they look completely different when i post them. hgrnrgnngngngnng #i imagine all of the court and attendants all have bets on when zuko and sokka go public. they're not super good at hiding it #and then sokka leaves. and zuko is moody for Totally No Reason and they have to all pretend like they uh. totally don't know why

[rogueshadeaux]

“I hate the script, the vault dwellers sound so cheesy—“ my Brother in Steel you realize that’s the point, right? They were bred to act like the physical embodiment of an HR e-mail. Did you not catch the memo that Vault-Tec put out regarding their experiment facilities?

#fallout #fallout tv show #fallout tv series #they were raised to respect the Golden Rule they’re a bunch of fucking kindergartners #theyre MEANT TO BE CRINGE #plus if you keep watching you’ll SEE WHY THEY DO THAT #don’t quit in the first episode when you have so many more to explore wtf is wrong with them!!! it’s a good show!!! #sometimes I think people like to hate things just to hate them and I understand. truly. i am a certified hater too #but don't dog something that has reasoning!! you're meant to cringe! and you'll see why!!! #GIVE IT TIME IT WILL MAKE SENSE I PROMISE #fallout spoilers

[clown-owo]

🤨

bonus:

#good omens spoilers #gos2spoilers #good omens #good omens season 2 #goodomensedit #aziraphale #crowley #og post #gifs #the thesis of this gifset is: #“aziraphale lies BADLY to crowley's FACE repeatedly for no reason and crowley ALWAYS takes him at his word #but crowley's the demon so he's the one who lies. apparently" #i just think its hilarious #and the fact that crowley doesn't notice aziraphale lying despite the fact he knows how he lies (see: Job) because “why would he lie to ME” #i don't think crowley thinks the inverse of aziraphale (“you're an angel. its not what you do”) because he KNOWS he lied to heaven #(again see:Job) #this took so fucking long i'd open photoshop and my computer would shit itself #even worse if i dare opened a longer video to make into several gifs #sacrificed my Firefox window to my computer like a newborn lamb so that photoshop may live but it barely even helped #apparently i do NOT have the needed ram for gifmaking #i mean i did do it. i completed it. but still #though it worked a bit better after i restarted my computer. so. maybe i should do that more frequently lmao #i tried to include “i'm a demon. i lied” but it just did not. fit. quite right

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

This was home.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #blood #Good bye Jiang Disciples. May you live on in the Lan Wangji in lotus pier AU. #This is going to be the start of a bunch of sad scenes I desperately try to undercut with humour. #You may ask where Elle Woods is considering her help was requested. #The canon answer is that she didn't make it there in time. This is the reason why WWX has the pink phone in present day. #It is a favour she owes him out of apology. #I am also making it canon that Jiang Cheng hates Elle Woods for not being there. His two Nemeses in PD-MDZS are Elle and WWX. #This is why Jiang Cheng doesn't have the phone. He would hunt her down but Bruiser bit him really bad last time he tried. #His pride is too hurt to try again. #I don't think I've done a wordless comic in a while - what a fun challenge! #I'm getting lots of practice with backgrounds in the last few comics - I really feel like I'm getting more comfortable with it! #Obviously I still have a long way to go but this is a journey B*)

[b4kuch1n]

same teacher, different lessons

transcript

#sonic the hedgehog #dr. ivo eggman robotnik #miles tails prower #sonic frontiers #SPOILERS. THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS COMIC BY THE WAY. #SONIC FRONTIERS SPOILERS #smiles gently I can not believe I let sonic the fuckign hedgehog ruin my life #(I can I totally can) #hi <3 if you follow me because I drew this sonic comic. don't! #don't do it! follow me bc I'm funny and hot and devastatingly smart don't follow me bc I draw sonic stuff. bc it won;t happen again #I mean it. not bc I dont like or want to do sonic stuff. but bc I am literally in the middle of a job rn #one that I want to invest 100% of my time and brain in #this comic is actually an effort to win my brain back so I can do my job lol #because I finished miss penny snapcube's streams of this game and it force fed me emotions #I just! I just thought sonic would come tell eggman abt sage!! idk seems like something he'd do!!! #and also the whole thing abt letting the characters move on and have a future and change and develop #vs Killing My Baby Little Guy Daughter For Like Ten Minutes #thematically interesting! also for some reasons I had. a pretty easy time drawing this #I was mouthbreathing galloping like a horse to finishing this. Because I Need To Work #I didnt expect to have a good time with these designs tho idk why. probably bc I most suck shit at drawing animals #but to be fair yet again sonic and tails are little guys. theyre animal but theyre also like dudes. also sonic's design is kinda perfect #as far as character design goes he's really pretty goo- wait I made a continuity error hol on #okay. okay I fixed it. no problem. no matter 's all good now #okay. I go sleep now. today has been very noisy. but this actually got me through it okay #thank you sonic the hedgehog. that was pretty cool of u #have a good night guys! absolute freedom is probably really really sad #long post

[uncanny-tranny]

Whenever people who are entrenched in diet culture talk about how terrible chemicals are, I just want to whip out this:

#diet culture #diet culture tw #described images #image description in alt #'it's got CHEMICALS in it' and so do you! and me too! IT'S ALL CHEMICALS ALL THE WAY DOWN #instead of running from this world we must learn to embrace it #i'm not particularly angry at people who say this because it makes me think that they're incredibly invested in diet culture... #...i just don't want the whole 'food = bad' or 'bodies = bad' to go unchallenged... #...part of the reason why diet culture seems just as prevalent now (if not moreso) is partially because it isn't really... #...challenged or questioned without provocation. it's just assumed to be correct because it makes you 'feel in control' #when chemicals are bad you can control what chemicals you consume. it's individualistic and places the blame onto you for 'being good' #it places responsibility onto the person in such a way that it becomes impossible to fulfill #it isn't that i'm upset that people want to treat their bodies in a way they think is responsible... #...moreso that the *way* they go about it ensures that they're stuck in a cycle of self-blame and even self-hatred #because the METHOD is ineffective. not the desire to treat your body well #also the state of ohio looks stupid and i do Not respect it #it looks like a ball that is simultaneously deflated and over-inflated #also their state flag looks silly to me #it looks like the person who was making it fell asleep making it #i'm just clowning on ohio at this point. have never been to ohio but. are you guys okay

[hjartasalt]

As an extremely traumatised child I remember being told a lot of supposedly comforting bullshit by adults like that I was more mature now because of what I'd been through or how I'd been through more shit at 12 years old than most people had in a lifetime and that had to be something right or how G*d gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers (ew) and that everything happens for a reason or whatever the fuck so here's a reminder I suppose that life can be really fucking unfair on this bitch of an earth and sometimes it is more than okay to be very angry about that. Like. At some point we gotta stop telling people to suppress their anger and instead go "yeah no you're right that does fucking suck let's go kill G*d together"

#I truly do not understand why we won't just let people be angry #I mean obviously taking your anger out on people who don't deserve it is never a good thing but like!! #a lot of the time people have good reason to be angry about shit!! can we normalise screaming every once in a while or something

[royalarchivist]

[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]

Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*

–

Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.

Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!

Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.

* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.

#Pactw #QSMP #Pac #March 18 2024 #As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators #I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore #I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know #like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on #And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation #but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk. #I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about #esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources #and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive'' #but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this'' #''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?'' #And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know #idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info #Happy to hear other folks' perspective #I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those #but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric #which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs #but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying #Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript #that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing #and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate #idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags #But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter #Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn

[hussyknee]

I'm really not a villain enjoyer. I love anti-heroes and anti-villains. But I can't see fictional evil separate from real evil. As in not that enjoying dark fiction means you condone it, but that all fiction holds up some kind of mirror to the world as it is. Killing innocent people doesn't make you an iconic lesbian girlboss it just makes you part of the mundane and stultifying black rot of the universe.

"But characters struggling with honour and goodness and the egoism of being good are so boring." Cool well some of us actually struggle with that stuff on the daily because being a good person is complicated and harder than being an edgelord.

Sure you can use fiction to explore the darkness of human nature and learn empathy, but the world doesn't actually suffer from a deficit of empathy for powerful and privileged people who do heinous stuff. You could literally kill a thousand babies in broad daylight and they'll find a way to blame your childhood trauma for it as long as you're white, cisgender, abled and attractive, and you'll be their poor little meow meow by the end of the week. Don't act like you're advocating for Quasimodo when you're just making Elon Musk hot, smart and gay.

#this is one of the reasons why #although i would kill antis in real life if i could #i also don't trust anyone who identifies as 'pro-ship' #it's just an excuse to shut down legitimate ethical questions and engaging in honest self-reflective media consumption and critique #art doesn't exist in a vacuum #it's a flat impossibility for it not to inform nor be informed by real world politics and attitudes #because that's what it means to be created by human hands #we can't even make machine learning thats not just human bias fed into an algorithm #if the way we interact with art truly didn't influence anything then there would be no value in it #just because antis have weaponized those points in the most bad faith ways possible #doesn't mean you can ignore them in good faith #anyway fandom stans villains because society loves to defend and protect abusers #it's not because you get the chance to be free and empathetic and indulge in your darkness and what not #it's just people's normal levels of attachment to shitty people with an added layer of justification for it #this blog is for boring do-gooder enjoyers only #lol #knee of huss #fandom wank #media critique #pop culture #fandom discourse

[gottagobackintime]

Trent being startled/frightened

#trent crimm #ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #james lance #I hope I didn't miss any if I did let me know and I'll add it #gottagobackintime gifs #don't think about why he startles when people raise their voices suddenly and when he hears loud noises DON'T think about it! #James why have you put these ideas of Trent having a bad dad in my mind #I had a good life before you talked about that #like I'm not saying that Trent was physically abused by his dad but he might have raised his voice in anger a lot #and I wouldn't be surprised if Trent was bullied when he was younger and that's why he's so easily startled #god I really made this gifset because I think he's cute when he's startled but I do really think that there is a reason for it #and the reason is him having been bullied and yelled at a lot

[the-casbah-way]

forgive the brief jesus chris superstar rant but. there is a very important difference between the pharisees being villains and the pharisees being antagonists. they're technically antagonists because they're actively working against the interests of our protagonist, but i don't believe they should ever be played as villains. they're not evil or bad or wrong. they're terrified just like literally everyone else in the show is, and their actions are completely justified. to me that's the entire point of the musical. it's not about christianity; it's about the impact the roman empire's brutal and violent imperialism had on everyone on all levels. including jesus and judas, but also including the pharisees, and even herod and pilate. when a powerful coloniser forces their presence on innocent people they are the only winners. everyone else suffers, even the puppet kings and high priests who look like they're reaping some sort of benefit from it all. that's roman propaganda. the romans kept native rulers like herod and caiaphas in power to maintain the illusion of provincial autonomy, and keep populations appeased and therefore under control. everyone in the show is acting out of fear of the romans. the one roman character we do see (pilate) is acting out of fear of his own emperor. it makes no sense to cast the pharisees as two dimensional Bad Guys, especially when the same productions that do that usually offer a sympathetic portrayal of pilate. it would be so easy to stage and direct a production in a way that makes it obvious that the pharisees are doing what they're doing because they truly have no choice, and not because they're pure evil and want to kill jesus for the sake of it. it's not only an antisemitic trope but also undermines a really important theme of the musical. if you can see the humanity in the violent roman governor installed forcefully on conquered land then you can afford some humanity for the pharisees too. they are victims of pilate and victims of rome just like everyone else

#THEY ARE NOT ALLIES OF PILATE. they have a common interest yes. ie avoiding punishment from rome #but the pharisees have no choice but to go to pilate. they have no real power. because like i said. they are puppet rulers #i am just tired of seeing the pharisees as villains #IF YOU WANT A VILLAIN (idk why you need to have one i don't think this show is about that) IT SHOULD BE FUCKING PILATE. AND NO ONE ELSE #THE PHARISEES ARE NOT VILLAINS. THEY ARE NOT EVIL. THEY ARE VICTIMS. #i am tired of seeing them costumed or directed in a way that makes them stereotypical Bad Guys #the 2k version of jcs is my favourite but i HATE how it portrays the pharisees at times especially annas #when annas pushes judas to the floor for literally no reason it's like. you are going out of your way to make these guys seem evil #sucks because the actor from 2k is the best annas i've ever seen in terms of presence and voice #and the actor who plays caiaphas in that film does a really good job at showing fear instead of pure anger and evil #but it's generally all still done in a way that makes the priests seem evil. in my opinion #and yes i called pilate violent. he's not in A Lot of productions but. the real pilate was an extremely brutal governor #and there's a very good reason for portraying him as such. especially when you consider the themes i mentioned here #jesus christ superstar #jcs #ask to tag

[yellowocaballero]

Reading 'Solo Leveling' (a webtoon/webnovel about a guy who uses a game-like interface to level up and fight monsters and become ridiculously OP and the coolest and hottest guy in the whole wide world) really proves something to me that I've thought about.

The goal of a story is to achieve what it wants to achieve. Different genres have different certain marks the story should achieve. If it doesn't hit those marks, it's not a good example of the genre. In a lot of was it's not even a good story - it doesn't entertain the audience in the way that they want to be entertained. A romance novel isn't a bad story because it doesn't feature great action scenes, but neither is it a bad story because it doesn't delve deep into the sociopolitical implications of neocolonialism. Does it make the reader feel happy? Is it cathartic? Is there a happy ending? Then it's a good romance story - even if you think stories shouldn't need happy endings.

The 'satisfaction' of stories like Solo Leveling is the fact that is very entertaining to watch a guy be super powerful and mow down bad guys and have everybody around him go "WHOAH that's a cool guy". Maybe it's cool because you're projecting, or maybe you like great action scenes, or because you like 'underdog gets powerful' stories. It's a power fantasy. That is the goal of Solo Leveling, and so long as I'm going "WHOAH COOL", then it's a good story. And Solo Leveling is the example of the power fantasy video game dungeon OP protag. It does those elements, it executes them competently, it's a good story.

This is the third of these types of stories I've read more than 5 chapters of. The first was Omniscent Reader's Viewpoint. And baby. This is no ORV.

ORV a big reaction to Solo Levelling in a lot of ways, since Solo Levelling was very genre defining and influential, and it's hard to write these OP stories without having a relationship to Solo Leveling. It's like the most popular webtoon out there. The OP hero, the gaming interface and rules, the gods fucking you up, power fantasy - they're all checked off by ORV. It doesn't subvert them much. You watch kdj pull one over on a shmuck and you're like HEY YA BABY and you watch him utterly decimate some schmuck and you're like WHOAH COOL. You like ORV, basically, for the same reasons you like Solo Leveling. They're the same genre and in a lot of ways the same story.

But ORV has driven me nuts and after a while Solo Leveling has gotten boring. Because ORV has a fantastic supporting cast that puts the MC's OPness in relative perspective. Because there's cool action scenes with different teams, of different dynamics, giving freshness to each chapter. Because you get to see kdj slowly implement some nuts gambit of the course of the entire arc and when we finally hit the end point where it all comes together it's FUCK YEAH. I'm leaving out the actual depth here. But ORV and Solo Leveling do the same thing, except ORV has a great deal of other story elements that build into the main 'point' and escalate the satisfaction, joy, and intensity of those points. You don't read these OP hero novels for the supporting cast. You read it to watch a dude be cool. But ORV's supporting cast - and, like, the fact that they're actual characters, even the women - gives us a lot of other smaller 'hey yeah!' moments, gives it buildup, makes the OP moments meaningful, and gives a grand climax and huge satisfaction when kdj does what the SL guy did by himself. And the supporting cast is only one example of this. A story is a good story if it accomplishes its point, but a story like SL will never really deliver its promises nearly as well as ORV could. Not because ORV is deep and has """themes""" or fucked up shit like that. The 'WHOAH COOL's are just better. Because ORV knows why stories are good and what makes a good story.

Anyway I'm fucking begging you I have tears in my eyes this is why your fic needs more than the hot ship of the day I promise it won't detract from the ship it will make the ship BETTER but you have to get WHY you like these homosexuals so much and it's NOT just because they're CUTE sometimes there's OTHER REASONS THAT ARE IMPORTANT LIKE THE WOMAN YOU'VE BOOTED AND -

#you're killing me smalls #my writing #orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #solo leveling #solo leveling is good at what it does bc i've read 120 chapters of it #but it's not great because i don't actually care #man really early on the MC had PTSD and I felt like we were doing something with that #and why he was so desperate to grow stronger and i felt like that was a good character motivation for the #hashtag grindset #we like characters for other reasons than projection. i prommy. prommy i swear #the funny thing is that literlaly everybody who reads all 1 million words of orv #are a kim dokja kinnie and you do have to project insanely #because the story self-selects for kdj kinnies #if you weren't insane in the exact same way kdj was insane #you wouldn't have fucking finished orv now would you

[retrogradestarlight]

this was originally done for the 2021 mxtx big bang for @/DBK5555's wangxian au fic

#mdzs #wangxian #mxtxbb #my art #for some reason i didn't post this here and i don't remember why? anyways here it is 2 years later lol #i remember having a good time bc i was collabing with nice people and everyone was really supportive of all the art and writing :)

[ne0nwithazero]

Meet Button & Match

Characters in the Cable AU tend to come in pairs, duos or dichotomies, and Button and Match are no exception! :) Being the two game controllers that Kris and Asriel used to play with on their old TV, the twins have always been inseparable.

After the Divide, many darkners were left purposeless, and with their friend Tenna having gone missing, Button and Match were left out of use. Roaming the Channels and the City, causing trouble, picking play fights, and hoping to find someone who would want to play with them.

Though their idea of "playing" might be a bit too aggressive for the average darkner. Who doesn't like fighting games?

#Deltarune OC #Button #Match #These two had a VERY rough concept art phase #I don't know why I struggled so much getting them right aaaaa :') #But I've always had this very nebulous idea of Tenna's Friends hopping in my mind #Though Tenna always felt like a loner so #Their relationship is like being childhood friends with someone even though you're grown up now and have barely anything in common #They're good kids tho :) Just a bit misguided #The nature of Match being the knock-off but still looking identical to his sister is still getting fleshed out ngjfkdg #I'll find interesting lore reasons for it :) #Tenna #Host #My Art