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#i fucking hate adam sandler
4ndj4 · 1 month
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Live laugh love Al
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theguffbin · 8 months
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I did the thing
the horrible wretched thing
it breathes out of spite for god and smells of diseased moss and I hope it brings nothing but suffering and eight crazy nights bon appetit dork @akanemnon
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icedsodapop · 1 year
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Seeing Adam Sandler fall back into public favor after starring in several critical darlings, getting fawning articles written about him, and winning the Mark Twain Award is evoking a visceral response within me. On the one hand, Sandler actually is a good actor when he actually gives a fuck. On the hand, it's frustrating seeing writers sweep Sandler's track record of including racist caricatures in his films under the rug. Not to mention the time it got so bad that during production of Sandler's Ridiculous Six, several Native Americans actors walked off set, and the cultural consultant quit because the people in charge didn't want to listen to him. Then there was Sandler's racially tone-deaf defense:
“I talked to some of the actors on the set who were there and let them know that the intention of the movie is 100% to just make a funny movie. It’s really about American Indians being good to my character and about their family and just being good people. There’s no mocking of American Indians at all in the movie. It’s a pro-Indian movie. So hopefully when people see it — whoever was offended on set and walked out, I hope they realize that, and that’s it. It was kinda taken out of context.”
I just feel like I'm witnessing cultural revisionism at play 😒😒
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ctommyisnt · 3 months
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I’m learning to draw and the problem is I can’t draw the shots I want or the characters I love. No. I’m drawing Adam Sandler and vintage beef ship art I’m not fucking joking.
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hazbinwhoree · 3 months
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General Adam Headcanons
SFW
100% dresses like Adam Sandler under the robe
Pronounces bruh like “brah” unironically
Has a high body count, but not as high as you’d expect
He has abandonment issues cause of Lilith and Eve
He’d never admit it but losing both Lilith and Eve to Lucifer really fucked him up
Lilith left him for Lucifer, and Eve cheated on him with Lucifer
Due to knowing the pain of being cheated on, he will never cheat despite the fuckboy persona
Man can actually settle down with the right person
Wears his mask all the fucking time, he only takes it off to sleep
He thinks it makes him look badass and his favorite feature is the horns
He’s tall as fuck (6’5) but he’s kind of thin, so he wears a big ass robe to make up for it
You can only tell by his arms
He likes to appear big
His favorite thing about himself is his dick (surprise)
Listens to heavy metal
Can’t cook for shit
Needs therapy but will never accept therapy
Doesn’t realize how misogynistic he is and if you tried to tell him he would get defensive
“What, I fucking love women, they’re hot.”
Says “nuh uh”
Cried in front of Lute once– they never talk about it
Shockingly, he doesn’t have any STD’s and he’s very proud of that
Sees Lute as a best friend but he’d never let her know she means that much to him
Has a colorful vocabulary of cuss words and unique nicknames, ie “Danger Tits”
Is really good at coming up with unique insults too
Never get into banter with him, he will hurt your feelings
Sleeps like a rock but moves a lot in his sleep
Seriously, he’ll hit every position in one night
His band is actually really popular in Heaven, and he’s renowned for being the best guitarist
Of course, that only strokes his ego
Ego bigger than his dick, for real
But if you can get past his ego, he can be fun to be around
Touch starved
Cares for very few people, but he would die for the people he does care about
NSFW
Absolutely has a size kink
He’s tall and he loves to be able to look down at his partner
It makes him feel powerful, but he also finds it cute
Has tried every sex position possible but his favorite is missionary
Rarely does he do missionary however because he only likes it with someone he cares about
Phenomal at giving head
He has a long tongue and he knows his way around a vagina
Actually has a big dick, he’s not kidding
Like no wonder he walks around like he’s a god
Also has a virginity kink and it’s definately related to his abandonment issues but he’ll never address that
Whenever he has sex, he always goes for a round 2 in the shower
Actually hates being called things like “daddy” and “master”
While he has some kinks, he’s actually not a very kinky guy
But he’s down to try anything
Has been pegged, doesn’t prefer it
His third and final kink is a breeding kink
He has no idea why but its imperative that he finishes inside his partner
Messy, loves being feral in the bedroom
The kind of guy who’s gone right after a hookup
But if he has a partner, he insists on cuddling after sex
Perfers tits over ass
Will bury his face in his partner’s while they cuddle
One time he came from looking at himself in a mirror during a hookup
Eye contact goes crazy with a partner
Needs to see partner’s every reaction and expression
Also needs control the whole time
Will never sub again, he hated it
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inf3ct3dd · 7 months
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ellie headcanons ..!
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warnings : literally none, perfectly sfw 😍😍
content: loser!ellie x reader, more ellie-focused than relationship focused (sorryyyy 😞😞)
authors note: i’ve literally never done headcanons omg 😓 this is js my random ramblings 🔥🔥🔥
pt. 2 ! taglist!!!! masterlist!!
- send you an excessive amount of reels. every 5 seconds. cute cats, random facts about space, stuff she thinks is funny, it all goes to you.
- definitely had a “rock collection” when she was little, but she was so ???? excessive with it??? like every time she saw a rock she picked it up. she walked so weird bc her pockets were just FULL OF ROCKS.
- also, was literally the grimiest kid ever. playing in ROLLING IN the mud, going snail hunting when it rained!!! she was the kid that would go in the bushes and mess w rolly pollies all the time for NO REASON.
- is weirdly good at fishing?? joel took her all the time, and shes a self proclaimed “fishing master”
- WAYYY clumsy. always running into a wall, tripping on air, or missing steps on the stairs (smh its cuz of that damn phone 😒😒)
- im so into the whole “adam sandler” fits cuz its so true. esp during the summer, its some stupid t shirt that says “master baiter” and a pair of old basketball shorts.
- speaking of t shirts, she’s def the type to own an absurd amount of dumb t shirts.
- gets all her clothes from like, walmart and goodwill. she does not CARE!!!
- cuts her own hair too 🤞🏽🤞🏽 shes soooo self sufficient 😍😍😍
- bites. she is such a biter.
- speaking of, i feel like she js has to have something in her mouth constantly. gum, random pieces of plastic, bottle caps, pens, anything 😞
- speaking of mouths (wow sierra so many connections!!!) she def had braces , but she hates wearing her retainer so her teeth are like ever-so-slightly fucked up
- is AMAZING at committing to the bit. she will drag it for DAYSSS if you don’t tell her to stop. once did a (awful) british accent for 4 days until you threw something at her and told her to shut the fuck up
- definitely not shy, just kind of…odd. she’ll talk to anyone that talks to her, she just doesn’t really approach people.
- weird obsession with pickles. has a pickle stuffed animal with a mustache and glasses that she bought from goodwill
- hangs up so much stuff on her walls!!!! tickets, old notes, cards, pictures of people, drawings, old tickets, literally anything she thinks looks cool
- obsessed with rollercoasters!!! she took you to the fair for your first date
- also like- very good at fair games. she’s so cocky about it too, you’ll go home with like 20 stuffed animals she won for you and she’ll carry ALL OF THEM with the stupidest smile on her face
- wears all of joels old contractor-workwear clothes during the colder months
- trys so hard to be “mysterious” but she’s never actually doing anything so she just does stuff like not telling you what movie she’s watching or what she’s eating
- also just texts you 24-7!!! like every time she’s doing something she’s like “i made a quesadilla” “i went to the store” “i took a shower” she just looooves keeping you updated
- tries to raise one eyebrow but ends up just squinting one eye. so funny 😞😞
- really good at solving rubix cubes???
- definitely had a fuck ass bob at one point
- GLASSES. that is all. glasses.
- listens to so much dad rock, midwest emo, indie, she LOVES male manipulator music!! but like she isn’t like thatttt shes so niceeee 😞😞
- mostly calls you babe/baby, she’ll call you really dumb pet names as a joke like “pookie” 😭😭
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tgcg · 4 months
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yall are FAKE i fucking LOVE adam sandler. I have seen and loved EVERY MOVIE. I SAW HIM LIVE. I will not stand for adam sandler slander. HES A GOOD GUY AND FUNNY!! YALL HATE TO SEE A FUNNY LOOKING JOKER THRIVE!! Im an adam sandler lover til the very end
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strniohoeee · 6 months
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Cutting Dead
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Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader, cute imagine could be suggestive at parts😚
Synopsis: Y/N was getting ready for a date when some unexpected things decided to happen👤
Warnings⚠️: None really if I’m being honest, could be suggestive at parts, but nothing crazy☺️
Song for the imagine: Heartbreaker- Justin Bieber
I had stood over the triplets house last night because I had been asked out on a date by a guy I really liked. I haven’t been in the dating scene for the last year because I was constantly being disappointed by every single guy. But when I put myself out there again I ran into Chance. He was so sweet and funny and not a creep, Nick saw how head over heels I was for this guy, and wanted me to spend the night so I could get ready, and express my excitement with him.
“Y/N I’m so fucking happy for you! You deserve a good guy” Nick said jumping on the bed next to me
“Nick I’m so fucking happy like hes so nice to me, and he was the one who asked me on the date, and planned it all” I said smiling and blushing like a schoolgirl
“A guy who actually took initiative?? This we love!! Oh my god we have to make you look even more hot than you do tomorrow”Nick said clapping his hands together
“I brought so many outfit options! Like this guy is really making me think about my appearance” I told Nick
“Finally! You were starting to give Adam Sandler core I was getting scared” He said laughing at me
“Oh you fucking dick! Shut up” I said throwing my pillow at him
That night we stood up pretty late just laughing and talking about how excited I was. We went to bed at 3am, and we woke up at 9 because my date was at 12, and Chance was coming to pick me up.
I decided to start getting ready at 10, I showered and washed my hair. After stepping out I did my skincare, put lotion on, and put pajamas on so I could do my hair.
I decided on a blowout, and once that was done I started my makeup. I loved a full beat of makeup. It made me feel even more powerful with my thick lashes, and my brown lip liner.
As I was doing my makeup and hair Nick was chatting with me asking me all types of questions
“Do you think he’s a catfish?” He asked laughing
“Nick we’ve FaceTimed before…OBVIOUSLY NOT” I told him laughing
“Mmm true! Do you think he’s actually 6 foot” he also asked
“Uhhh…I actually never gave that a thought” I said as I applied my blush and highlighter
“Ouuu are you gonna kiss him” he asked wiggling his brows
“Weirdo….maybe if the vibes right” I said as I set my makeup with some spray
“Omgggg yall gonna fuck on the first date?” He asked me, and both Chris and Matt had walked into the room the same time as he was asking this question
“Who we fuckin” Matt said laughing as he went to sit on Nicks bed
“Nobody. And no Nick I’m def not fucking on a first date” I said as i was putting glue on my lashes
“Why not? It’s fun” Nick said as he pushed Chris out the way of laying in his spot
“Ummm because I’m looking for someone who doesn’t just want to fuck. I want real love” I told him as I started to stick my lashes on
“That Jada and Will love” Chris said laughing
“Given the fact that they hate each other I’m not too sure, but uhh something along those lines” I said laughing
“Ouuu that Morticia and Gomez love” Matt said nodding his head
“Oh yes!” I said looking at him through the mirror
I had finished applying my lip liner and gloss, and was ready to put on my outfit
“Okay guys I need opinions on the outfit let me go change” I said as i ran into nicks bathroom and put my outfit on
I was wearing medium/dark wash mid rise jeans that were flared at the bottom, and hugged me in all the right places. Actually hugged me a little too tight as I gained some weight and now they were extra tight on my ass and thighs. Then I put on my fitted hot pink shirt that said I Love Men, but the N was scratched out so basically I love me. And then for shoes I decided on these cute felt hot pink wedge sandals. The whole vibes was giving Bratz doll, and to top it off I put clear Y2K glasses on my head. I felt hot and powerful.
I stepped out of the bathroom.
“Sooo what do we think” I said as I gave them a spin
“You look sooo hot” Nick said snapping his fingers
“You look great” Matt said giving me a thumbs up
“Spin one more time” Chris said rubbing his chin like he was wondering
So I did another spin for them
“Your ass looks fat asf, he’ll def be drooling” Chris said nonchalantly
“Chris don’t be weird” Matt said smacking his younger brother
“I appreciate it…even though that is weird. I’ll take it” I said giving him a weird stare
“WHAT I’m stating the obvious” Chris said putting his hand up in defense
“Okay even though Chris is a creep your ass is fat” Nick said
“Okay enough about my ass” I said laughing and going to grab my phone. The time read 11:58am
“Omggg guys it’s almost timeeee” I said in a sing song way
“Has he texted you?” Nick asked
“Mm not since 11:30” I said grabbing my purse and putting my lipliner and lipgloss in it
“I figured he’s driving” I said as I sprayed myself with perfume, and getting ready to walk down to the living room to wait for Chance
We had all gone downstairs, and Chris decided to go shower while Matt and Nick sat on the couch with me as we chatted. I hadn’t realized how long we were chatting for until I looked down at my phone, and saw the time said 12:15pm…..hm weird
I decided to shoot Chance a text
-heyyy! Hope traffic isn’t too bad. What’s your ETA?☺️
5 minutes had gone by with no response
“Did he answer?” Matt asked
“No, but he was working the 5AM shift, and sometimes they don’t get off till 12:30-1, so maybe he’ll text me” I told them, and to this they nodded their head
By now it was 12:55pm and I still haven't gotten a response. I was slightly worried that he was standing me up, or he might’ve gotten into an accident, so I decided to call him. No answer
“I’m not sure why he isn’t picking up. At 11:30 he literally said he couldn’t wait to see me soon” I told Nick and Matt
“Call him again” Nick said
So I called two more times, and no response. In fact , it went straight to voicemail. I was really starting to think he stood me up, when all of a sudden my phone pinged with a text message
Chance🦕
I’m sorry, but I can’t do this any more. I didn’t mean to lead you on. You’re a cool girl, and I really like you, but I was really hoping our relationship was just friends with benefits. I’m not looking to commit to anyone right now :)
My jaw fucking dropped, and at this point Chris came into the living room
“What’s going on?” He asked as he sat down on the couch
“Uhhh he stood me up” I said still blinking down at my phone in utter shock
“He did what?” Nick asked
“Yeah… he said I’m sorry, but I can’t do this any more. I didn’t mean to lead you on. You’re a cool girl, and I really like you, but I was really hoping our relationship was just friends with benefits. I’m not looking to commit to anyone right now” I told them as I was reading the message out loud
“Are you joking right now” Nick said grabbing my phone to read the message himself
“After a year of not seeing anyone. I finally find a guy who I thought was so sweet and kind, and it turns out he’s just like the rest” I said taking a deep breath and rolling my eyes
“Oh what a fucking dick” Nick said handing my phone back to me, and I grabbed it closing out the message. Not even bothering to respond to him
“I got all dolled up for a fucking loser” I said taking my shoes off
“Hey! You don’t need him. There’s plenty of other guys out there who would kill to be with you” Matt said, giving me a reassuring smile.
“Yeah I know, but I was really starting to like the kid” I said rolling my eyes
“Y/N fuck himmm you’re so hot! You could literally have anyone you want. Literally go out right now, and watch all the guys drop to their knees begging for you” Nick said, and I smiled at this
“Ehh it’s fine I’m going to wash my face and change my clothes. So I can eat my feelings and bask in my self pity” I said standing up
“No. Let me take you out” Chris said as he stood up
“Take me out?” I said looking at him as I put my shoes back down
“Yeah, let's go out on the town, maybe the mall, and whatnot. You look too nice not to go out come on” he said grabbing the keys
“Oh okay” I said as I put my shoes back on and grabbed my purse
“Have funnnnn” Nick said as he gave a small smirk to Matt
I had driven us to the mall to go walk around and shop. As we were walking around I was getting nothing but stares from every guy I passed.
“See! Too pretty to not go out. Every guy is staring at you” Chris said as we walked into another store
“Thanks Chris. You’re making me feel better about getting stood up” I said laughing a little bit
“Ehh fuck that loser we can have more fun together” he said giving my arm a nudge
After we left the mall, we decided on grabbing some dinner, and then he took me to the pier to walk the boardwalk and look at the night sky and the waves crashing on the shore.
While on the boardwalk Chris and I stopped for ice cream, and decided to sit down to eat them
“I really appreciate you doing this for me. I haven’t thought of chance since we left the house” I said looking over at him
“I’m glad. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to put a smile on your face” he said looking up at me
I just smiled, and he turned to continue eating his ice cream. I was looking at him in admiration. And only then did it hit me that I might’ve liked Chris. I mean he was always there for me, my biggest hype man, and we were inseparable when we were together. I was so scared of coming to realization with this, because I felt that he wouldn’t like me, and I struggled with rejection. So I pushed all those feelings to the back of my mind, but they never truly went away. Every guy I ever spoke and went on dates with had all reminded me of Chris, but they weren’t him. I either broke things off with them, or they ghosted me, and I was hurt, but I think I was more hurt at the fact I couldn’t come to terms with my adoration for Chris. It hurt that every guy I dated just wasn’t him.
I broke away from staring at him, and began to speak
“We should take some photos” I said, and as he was finishing his ice cream he agreed
Chris was my biggest hype man. Every photo he took always came with a comment “oh yes!” “Oh my god you ass looks so good like that, hold it!” “Eating these bitches uppp” he said and that made me laugh, as I laughed he snapped another photo.
“Ew Chris I hate my smile, why would you take that” I said walking over to him to look at the photo
“No Y/N, you look beautiful just standing there laughing, and in raw emotions. This is my favorite photo of you” he said as he looked at the photo with a smile on his face
“Whatever you say” I said blushing and trying to not sound excited
“Okay your turn” I said to him as I grabbed my phone from him and pushed him away
Chris was posing like a model. “Okayyyy fucking it up” I said as I took more photos. “It’s giving bad bitchhh” I said and he gave me the middle finger the same time I snapped the photo
“Oh Chris this might be the hottest photo of you” I told him as I showed him
“Ouuu you think I’m hot?” He said smirking at me
“Yeah…who doesn’t” I said rolling my eyes
He just stared at me and laughed. After a few more photos we decided to head back to the car, and chat some more.
“You know something” Chris said looking at me, and I looked back giving him a puzzled face
“I really fucking like you” he said looking into my eyes. This made me really nervous, and I just looked down and started to blush
“I have liked you for so long, and the fact that I didn’t come clean sooner is killing me” he said
“Chris…I like you too, and I’m upset I didn’t come to you sooner either. I looked for you in every guy I dated, and it hurt that they just weren’t you” I told him
“Nobodies like me” he said looking down at my lips
“Yeah I’ve realized that now” I said laughing a little bit
“Kiss me” he said, licking his lip, and so I did. I leaned in and smashed our lips together. We had a small makeout session before we both pulled away
“Omg Chris I got lipgloss all over you” I said laughing and covering my mouth
“That’s hot” he said looking into the mirror
I just smacked his chest and blushed
“How about we take a picture for that loser and send it to him” Chris said smirking at me, and to this I agreed
He took my phone and leaned into me as I leaned into him for yet another kiss, and he snapped the photo.
“Oh he’s gonna be maddd” Chris said laughing
I leaned over to see what he was doing, and he snaked his hand around me grabbing my ass and giving it a firm grab
“I meant it when I said your ass is so fat in these” he said biting his lip
“Chrissss stop” I said whining
“Keep wearing jeans like this, and I swear I’ll cum in my pants” he said licking his lips, and I looked at him before giving him another kiss and moving down to his neck
He moaned lightly, and then stopped me
“We have plenty of time for that, but for now let’s send these pics to him” He said giving me a quick peck on the lips
Chris opened up the message app and clicked on Chance name before sending him the photo
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-fuck you :)
Chris typed, and then sent another photo. It was the photo of him with his middle finger up
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“Omgg Chris he’s going to be sooo mad” I said laughing
“Yeah fuck him, but for now I get to kiss up on and love my beautiful girl” he said as he kissed me once more
After that we drove back to the house, and as we were walking into the house he kept grabbing and smacking my ass. Even as I walked up the stairs in front of him
“Chris stop” I said in a whisper as we both laughed
“I see you two had fun” Nick said as him and Matt were still on the couch
“Yeah we did” I said to them as I put my purse down and slipped my shoes off
“Oh Chris for sure had fun” Matt said laughing at him, and it was only then I realized my lip gloss and lip liner was still all over his face
“Fuck yeah I did, I was all up in there” he said
“CHRIS STOP IT” I said smacking him
“Don’t tell me…” Nick said with wide eyes
“No we didn’t fuck” I said laughing
“Omg okay I was going to say please don’t say anything I dont want to throw up” he responded
We all just laughed, and as I went to walk to the kitchen Chris smacked my ass again
“CHRIS PLEASE” I said as I turned around blushing
“Yall please don’t be gettin it on infront of us” Nick said covering his eyes
“Never” Chris said as he grabbed a handful of my ass, and started to lead me down to his room
“We’ll see yall tomorrow” Chris said as we walked downstairs
“PLEASE NO FUCKING” Nick and Matt yelled in disgust
“SHUT UPP” we both yelled back and laughed
Chris and I spent the rest of the night laughing and watching videos together. Occasionally making out, but other than that we called it a night at 11, and fell asleep snuggled into one another.
Tehee hope you guys liked this one😚😚
-J💅🏽
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Note
The sheer volume of antisemitism ALONE found in y’all’s “critiques” of Steven Universe is unavoidable. It is genuinely insane once you look through all of it. I remember how you defended Adam Sandler’s movies on the basis that much of the hate for them was overblown due to antisemitism, and it freaks me out how you just so obviously don’t give a shit about any of that when it comes to a Jewish creator (who’s a bisexual woman this time) that you personally hate. The extreme hypocrisy here is just unbelievable, it truly fucking is. You can have criticisms of SU NOT deeply rooted in antisemitic caricatures, ‘jokes’, and bigotry. But that’s definitely not the case when it comes to you, Mikaila, or Lily for that matter. I’m just focusing on your own obvious bigotry influencing your hatred of SU because it’s you I’m sending this ask to.
For fuck’s sake you’ve basically banned yourself from ever watching ANYTHING made by LGBTQ+ creators in general, like Nimona as well. Which DEFINITELY would play a major role in somebody hating Steven Universe. Bigotry influencing media tastes in one of the most blindingly obvious things that can happen to ANYBODY, and you’re the biggest moron around if you think it can’t happen to you. (If the fact that very obvious bigotries have influenced your relentless hatred against MOST diverse art made by marginalized creators didn’t make that fucking obvious enough to you yet)
You know I'm starting to think-and this may sound crazy what I'm bout to say-that you don't actually know what I have said about Steven Universe and have just taken word second hand that I talk about it more than I actually do
Might be off my rocker though that's just a theory
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thebearme · 4 months
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Any tf2 headcanons?
I was hoarding this ask for when I have alot of hcs but I now realize that that was an awful idea becuz now there too much going on in my brain. So I'll tell you the ones I can remember rn.
(btw this is gonna be a mess of silly and sad contention into a blender, so sorry for any whiplash)
Everyones business last name is TF2. It's canon, Ms Pauling said so.
Scout and Ms Pauling have one thing in common, they're simps for women out of their league and it's sad.
My current idea of the plot is that Ms Pauling is now the new administrator and the mercs are still working for her but now instead of a war they are now a Hire-A-Merc organization. Why, so they can pay the blood pact that the old administrator got them in from Abraham Lincoln.
The team is a merge for BLU and RED team members.
BLU: Scout, Medic, Soldier, Engineer | RED: Heavy, Demo, Spy, Sniper, Pyro
Engie has an gaming channel.
Engie is a little person. (you can't convince otherwise LOOK AT HIM)
Engie does his own surgery, not that he doesn't trust Medic. He just doesn't trust Medic. He has more trust that in his drunken state he could chop his arm off cleaner than Medic because of his god complex.
Engie says trans rights.
Engie has two moods: Wholesome bumpkin or manic "i am better than all of you".
Medic and Heavy are married. (but to be fair thats just canon)
Medic never had a medical license but he did go to school... for animal care.
Medic has a Doctor of Veterinary Medicine degree and lied ALOT to military when he got drafted to get out safely.
He got a nazi skeleton and dead parents out of that.
Medic burn his documents so now the only people that knows is the people he tells like Heavy.
Medic only have two reasons for being here- 1) to experiment on everyone. 2) Heavy
Medic eats like a cat eating a dragon fruit. And so does Archimedes.
Medic is the definition of "no rules no boundaries he doesn't flinch at torture and sells blood for money. He's your new best friend."
Medic is slowly going more insane with time and can't tell if it's because he sold his soul to the devil or because someone is secretly fucking with him. (it's Spy)
Heavy met Medic before joining the team.
Heavy has a cooking channel.
He's a masochist. (he has too if he's with Medic.)
Heavy will kill Soldier before he starts having kids with Zhanna. He's still not ok with him.
Heavy has lots of cute moles on him. (Medic makes sure to kiss each one and make sure they're not lethal.)
While Im at it Heavy family is cursed to fall in-love with insane men.
Pyro-vision is just Pyro going through a heat stroke.
Pyro is the leader of the hate spy club.
Pyro has kids that live in the ocean with his mermaid wife. Don't ask how, it's Pyro.
Engie and Scout are the only ones that understand what Pyro is saying completely.
Engie adopted Pyro unofficially but that's his son right there.
Soldier and Zhanna are gonna have twins.
Soldier and Demo had kiss once- with their socks on.
Medic did a blood test on Soldier and he actually is not 100% American, he doesn't know and everyone intends it to stay that way.
Soldier and Scout actually know each other from before getting hired by BLU. They were comrade in the 100,000 new men program in Vietnam.
After Scout left in general discharge from a land mine incident he thought that would be the laat time he sees him. He was wrong.
Don't worry they're chill, well as chill as man can be when their hand is somehow a magnet to your neck.
Sniper is a social smoker.
Sniper is like a lizard, he doesn't fuck with the cold.
Sniper is younger than Scout. He just spent too much time in the sun and now he looks like a divorce 40 y/o dad struggling with his mortgage. Or just a brown Adam Sandler.
Sniper got those old man bones AKA my bones. His knees be cracking down the hall.
Sniper hops round different peoples places for the holidays. He spent the most time at Engie's house with Pyro; he had spent a Christmas or two with Scout's family but a "certain someone" doesn't appreciate the bushman there and ruining his holiday with his family.
When Scout has to give directions or details of the area he just draws it. Because NO ONE understands this mans writing.
Scout's life mission is to be Gods greatest gift and not just for the women. Like the bible said "a hole is a hole"... or atleast thats what Scout remembers from church.
Scout while being illiterate CAN speak Spanish, Italian, Vietnamese and French. (but he doesn't remember where he learned french from tho.)
Scout is resistant to radiation at this point.
Before becoming a merc, Scout was working at a diner that fitted him quite well.
Waffle House at the graveyard shift.
Scout's fuckboy attitude comes from daddy issues while Spy slut attitude comes from mommy issues.
Spy came from a rich family until he ran away to help in the war effort and became a spy. He doesn't regret his decision nor miss his home but does wish he did a proper goodbye to his brother.
The reason Spy has teeth capsules in his mouth to begin with is because one time him and a his fellow spy were getting torture by the enemy by having their teeth removed. Now all his teeth are fake.
Speaking of teeth, Scout got his buck-teeth from Spy.
Spy HAS gotten lungs transplanted several times from Medic because this mf refuses to chill out and get help with his smoking problem.
Spy is gender fluid.
Spy is a furry.
Demo is going to kill him one day.
That day is when he finds his DA account.
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spoonbenders · 7 months
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adam sandlers 8 crazy nights has the blood of thousands on it . the smoothness of the animation and the effort put into the most fucking sickening scenes and the character design being somewhat cohesive i can practically hear the tortured screams of every animator and character designer that worked on this movie. and its not just them. the fact that its currently the only mainstream chanukah movie. do you have any idea how many unassuming jewish people have watched 8 crazy nights thinking it was an unassuming mid 5/10 movie and got the fucking eldtrict abomination that is 8 crazy nights. it feels like a hatecrime and adam sandler is literally jewish. the entire movie reeks of hate and terror its like. candle cove. i wouldnt be surprised if i tried to watch 8 crazy nights again and it was just a blank static screen. if i bought a dvd of it it would bleed endlessly. there is a curse on that movie. every night i see adam sandler in my nightmares and he says that i will never escape the torment labyrinth he has put this world in. adam sandler is the most powerful dark wizard in the universe and noone knows. noone knows. but i do. everybody in this room has been associated with whitey
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us-costco-official · 23 hours
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the world if it was good (danollins was real)
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🤠 deanwinchestersvirginity Follow
genuinely cant believe he said fag lmaooooo WHO GAVE HIM THE PASS 😭😭
🤖 danollins-luvr Follow
I mean. Probably the guy he got pregnant ??
🕷 spacemanspiderfucker2 Follow
I always knew Paul would end up with someone like misha. Dm for more info
🤠 deanwinchestersvirginity Follow
god not this guy again. ok adam sandler apologist!
🤠 deanwinchestersvirginity Follow
HE BLOCKED ME LMAO
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🎉 suprnnnnnatrl Follow
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i couldnt resist 🤣
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👾 disintercourse699 Follow
Now we have canon danollins can we just admit Jensen and misha fucked already.
🫧 pauldanointhesoup Follow
pauls already said hes uncomfortable talking about that :// .....
👾 disintercourse699 Follow
Do i look like Paul's therapist? Jesus Christ it was a fucking tumblr post
🌝 carleenjacques2039 Follow
c l i c k f o r m y o n l y f a n s 😉
🤠 deanwinchestersvirginity Follow
I hate this website.
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👩‍❤‍💋‍👩 us-costco-official Follow
actually cannot believe we predicted danollins
🗣 catboymishacollins Follow
Tranny Barnzalez server strikes again...
🕺spinkertoot Follow
We should pull out the roleplay dms and send them to Paul and Mish
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🥀 adamsandlerdaily Follow
BREAKING NEWS: Jensen Ackles is homophobic, sources say he's anti-MishaPaul
⚧ kockles Follow
no he’s not you cunt he’s just in love with misha collins
🌼 dano-guy Follow
Hey can we stop with the fucking worst take of all time and focus on the lovely queer trans men that are Paul Dano and Misha Collins?
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ozziescribbler · 4 months
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Hi! I feel like I share your opinions on hotel Transylvania and I would love to know your problems with the films, especially the "zing" concept.
Hey, I'd assume you found me via my recent tweets, because that's first time in ages I shat on Hotel Transylvania!
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I am indeed a proud, card-carrying hater of the first movie (and whole franchise by extension, but never watched the sequels, only the reviews) and would talk about it whenever provoked.
I agree with you, @chinesegal, that the movies were underwhelming, cliché and too juvenile. Which would be fine for a movie intended for kids, provided the overall message was wholesome, or at least entirely harmless. Keyword: "would".
I checked and this seems to be the first instance of me talking about HT, 10,5 years ago, and I still stand by those words:
I watched Hotel Transylvania last month and the single thing I hated about it was "LOVE AT THE FIRST SIGHT THE ONLY ONE THAT COUNTS! GO FOR IT OR YOUR LIFE WILL BE RUINED FOREVER! ZING!" moral that popped up at the end. This movie literally just gives love at the first sight name "zing" and shoves how irreplaceable it is up the viewer's throat during the third act.
This is straight up toxic. How THE FUCK did they get away with legitimizing literal love at first sight in the year 2012? And how come so very few people talk at all how messed up this is?
I am still confused why audiences and reviewers were positive towards this. Writing is so bad: annoying characters (especially Mavis's garbage love interest), lackluster worldbuilding (monsters as fantasy racism metaphor is fine, but why waste vampires if they do nothing vampiric?), unfunny jokes.
And while the visuals are... okay, I suppose, neither design nor animation were anything to run home about. A friend with animation degree was always so confused why animation in HT is treated like it was extremely revolutionary. I would not know, but wasn't particularly impressed either. Madagascar and Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs beat it to a punch in regards of using 2D design language in 3D animation. Also, early HT concept art was much more interesting than the bland final result (RIP DILF Dracula).
All in all, you want to see a shitty Adam Sandler movie that at least leans into the horror/monster humor, just watch Little Nicky. If you want to see nice animation from Genndy Tartakovsky, then watch pretty much anything he did other than Hotel Transylvania. There will be also much better writing. Samurai Jack, Sym-Bionic Titan and Primal are especially worth anybody's time.
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silvyysthings · 9 months
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Yeah I saw that. The part about dismissing fans and them not finding out if Tim doesn’t want them to know is not the whole thing it’s worse and in Elle. It also doesn’t end in “KJ knows how to keep things private” It ends with “she knows how to keep what she wants secret”. Here’s what’s not a secret. Fans have had enough of this charade. Fans are not the ones talking about this in between the bombardment of updates and blinds supplied by PR to the press every week. Here’s another non secret. Fans are responding. Timmy’s IG is in fucking Freefall right now. He’s been losing 1k plus followers a day for weeks with this romance and the W trailer fans outside of here hated. The only time he gained 2500 was the day fans found out they had broken up after the onslaught of articles after their not serious but casual PR narrative bullshit. I hope his career is worth all these games but going by the strong response now and the overly negativity comments everywhere I don’t think so. Nobody believes this is real. It looks like her side only is working overtime with innuendo, quotes in articles and alleged leaks. Remember the hickey photo with articles? You think his team would stay quiet on that if it wasn’t true? It’s been four months? It’s always her insider quotes for articles and tabloids and alleged leaks to Dmuh who’s been doing some heavy lifting for this romance almost like she’s a paid extension of their PR teams. That was until last weeks break up fiasco where tmz said “multiple sources from both sides” say their still an item. How can fans still seriously think its all in her head and he’s not involved? I get it shes fantastic for reaching a wider audience he needs coming up with nearly 400 m IG followers but a liability for him in the respect department so is his remaining silent and not getting his hands dirty a business choice? Remember this isn’t the first time Timmy has made Silence and removing himself a strategy and an an art form when it comes to anything or anyone deemed toxic getting in the way of his career. Friends drowning by media. Silence. SAG strike. Silence. Romance. Silence and blurry, but approved bts through all forms of media and car dates. Why is it though he always seems to happily participate in crystal clear Pap photos with A list power players like Leo, Larry David, Adam Sandler or Scorsese though? Stop making excuses for his behavior. Others are not. I’m not a fan of her but this is not one sided even if that’s his strategy once again by making it appear it’s her side doing all the work publically with him getting to pass off a silence strategy as privacy or non involvement. At the moment it’s been set up media wise so he can walk away at anytime and fans will believe she made it all up. Even she deserves better especially if it turns out to be true.
I'm posting your ask because as I've always said I don't censor anyone when their thoughts are expressed politely like you did.
But I ask you a question: what exactly do you want to convince me of? About the " falling " of his instagram or the bad reviews on Wonka trailer? On the fact that Tim is a private person and prefers not to comment publicly on some things and let his actions speak for themselves, including that of never being seen publicly around and possibly lately in the same state with his alleged flame? And above all, do you seriously think that the esteem I have for him as an actor and as a man can change for what he eventually chooses to do in his private life without hurting anyone? It's his life, he doesn't have to justify himself to us, he's not our property. He doesn't need anyone to excuse him for what he chooses or doesn't choose to do.
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xmycxx · 8 months
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Ellie tattoo artist ideas:
-Reader starts getting Ellie into some “cooler” clothes. Nice black tank tops that show off her tattoo sleeves. Cool, massive baggy cargo pants. And goddamn. Then YOU start getting jealous when people eye her up on the streets and hit on her at work.
-You help her start up her social media account so she can get more specific clients who seek her out specifically. You use the cool photos you’ve taken of her—helping create reels and whatnot. After a few months, she starts renting out a booth ata different studio and her waiting list is booked out for weeks and weeks.
-She wants to get a tattoo at a Seattle shop that’s the oldest tattoo parlor in the city, but that’s a drive, and quite the expense. So you surprise her with a trip out there when you get a work bonus. With the extra money she’s been making, she has the money for the tattoo, and you have the money for the travel and hotel. You make it a multi-day event and see all the sights. Ellie is so soft the whole time. It took months to convince her to go, but she finally caves, and you’ve never been happier to see her in that vintage tattoo chair. (when the artist asks if you wanted anything, Ellie puts her foot down. “The only one who inks her is me.”).
:) thanks for this fun AU. Take whatever you want.
-TomeoftheForgotten on A03
holy fuck you singlehandedly revived my inspiration in this AU
as to the clothing thing, fuck yea. Like i feel like modern ellie is definitely adam sandler core, so when you start dating, you take her to the mall for shopping and force her to put down her 14th pair of baggy shots in exhange for some cargo pants and some tank tops.
At first? she hated it and thought it was uncomfortable
but then she saw how you were looking at her, biting your lip and looking her up and down, and she started to wear more of it. To the point where other people at work were hitting on her and she laughed when you pouted, saying you regretted upgrading her wardrobe. But she knows you don't regret it for a damn minute.
omfg ellie would be so bad at social media. she gives the vibes that she has a public account with like, 100ish followers and some aesthetic pictures but only ever posts on her story. Then you come into her life, and you force her to post almost daily.
this girl is getting an aneurysm at having content so you help her out. Within like, a month, she got a job offer at another shop, she's working at both and is booked out for a full 2 months.
ofc she thanks you by a fancy dinner where she wears the new shirt you bought her with the sleeves rolled up and buys you anything you even look at for the next month.
DUDE IM CACKLING AT THE IDEA OF TAKIGN ELLIE THERE!! it would be so fun! like she'd be so hesitant to go at first bc it's expensive. then you sorta trick her, instead of saying it's for her (which she would nEVER do), you say that you wanna go there, and the tattoo shop is a place that you wanna see.
ofc ellie being the gf she is, obliges. you take the weekend off (much to her clients dissapointment) and go there. You leave the tattoo shop for the end and take so many pictures of her. funnily enough, she will NOT tell you what she's getting and let's you figure it out.
she'd get your favorite flower with your name and birth date
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this type of thing and you just melt
this trip is all over her insta the next day, so are you
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dmercer91 · 9 months
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HOOKED AU —
when did her & jack start dating ?
does she have a name?
what does queen ellen think of her?
does she have siblings?
do her (maybe) siblings play hockey?
are they older or younger?
did she play college hockey? (maybe @ wisco which is how she knows caufield?)
is she american or canadian?
does she also play on like the US women’s national team or the Canadian national team
how did she get into hockey?
if she did play NCAA hockey what was her major? (i feel like she’s a STEM girlie)
is she more of a girly girl or more of a tom girl?
I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT HER
(also plz make it an AU i love the idea)
thank u anon i love these
- since we established she was drafted in 2020 i think jack starts to pine after her in early 2021 and she finally gives him an ounce of attention in the summer of 2022 when dawson is like he’s not that BAD and i’m sick of hearing him WHINE
they start hooking up during the 22-23 season and that season/summer he starts actually falling, the next season he starts trying to convince her to give him a chance at a serious relationship (the media edit)
she’s completely against it due to professionalism and she was already feeling guilty when she would pull her hits on him
but she falls real hard during that season and it’s what finally pushes her to request her trade and it’s by complete dumb luck that everything before happened to make it so the devs wanted her
they officially start dating after a HEFTY conversation following their first game playing together in which they quite literally slayed so hard the romantic chemistry revived
- she’s technically an y/n however i need a nickname for her and i think she would probably be the type to go by her last name since hockey
- ellen LOVES her
they met after a 22-23 devs/rangers playoff game cause luke wanted her to come over and she’s not gonna say no to luke
ellen sees jack look at her ONE TIMe and is like ok so you’re in love with her that’s cool and he’s like ????? pardon me
and quinn, delirious from his tonsillectomy is like ‘i think they’re fucking’
- she has a little brother who plays minor atom aaa as a goalie!! he always says over facetime that he’ll get good enough so she can never score on him when he’s in the nhl
- i think she deeply hates school, so decided to stay with her womens league / in the press box until her time came
i think they debuted her fairly soon after drafting her either way
- she’s canadian!!! i wanna say she already knew dawson because they played together growing up or they played together during wjc
i feel like she’d be an exception and be allowed in mens wjc since she was projected to be drafted and the tournament is used for scouts
which is why she’s so attached
she also plays on the women’s national team once the rangers are eliminated from contention most years
- she went through a lot of sports as a kid and her parents always tried to push her to do the more fem or generically girl things but when she scored her first ever goal in girls house she decided she wanted this to be her life
- even tho she didn’t i think that she aced chem in high school
her favourite part was making elephant toothpaste and spraying dawson in the face (i’ve apparently decided they grew up together because now thinking of it it’s adorable that they went 18 and 19 in their draft)
- it depends on the day
sometimes she goes to lengths to appear more fem and some days her attitude is very bubbly
other days she’s adam sandler
ASK ALL YOUR QUESTIONS ANON I LOVE THEM
(also i probably am)
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