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trashyangelic · 7 months

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𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒀𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒔 || ғᴇʟɪɴᴇᴛᴛᴇ (1)

· ❝ 𝓣𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 ❞ · · chapter one ·

🌷⁺. [ ♡ ] — MASTERLIST | NEXT

Marinette gotten up from her bed that she made a makeover of her bedroom its no longer pink but its pastel pink mixed with white colors instead of hot pink all over her room it doesn't look good when she first saw it. Instead of sleeping on the top where she normally sleeps in.

She can finally sleep on the side of her room that she never touch at all after moving her computer and desk from it but she bought an extended cord for the plugins into her computer but she place them near the empty spot just at the corner instead it has the plugin there for her storage it before fixing her computer. The desk that is in front of her bed is for her study desk.

She even place all her school stuffs on the shelf above her desk. She even have a storage for the kwamis to explore around.

It took her three whole weeks to make over on her closet now that has enough room for her clothes that she makes of her own with some help from her mother to make it more roomie even her mother approved it. As for her fabrics are stored inside the drawers at her closet with the sewing machine included. But on the other side of her room is quite empty she might need to buy something to fill that in possibly a dream box that she saw on pinterest.

That she had help with from her father to place it down so she can fix it herself. She make it look like from the picture she saw on pinterest when she was on her computer last couple weeks before remaking her room.

She replace her old computer into a new computer but she puts her pc drive on the desk. But she might need to build her own high-end gaming PC to fit most of her designs sketches and her games she normally play but she tends to play other ones besides UMS 3 they are Honkai Star Rail, Genshin Impact, Elsword Online, Roblox, and Minecraft. Along with her mic that is near her computer that she finally done with it. I might need to make a new password for my social accounts along with my website as well. She thought to herself so that way her so called classmates won't be hacking into her computer for it..

She also removed the posters of Adrien along with her classmates pictures then burn them outside last night. Then replaced it for music she adores and listens to they were Jagged Stone, Clara Nightingale, BLACKPINK, TWICE, Ariana Grande, Selena Gomez, BTS, Aespa, XG, Seventeen, Lee Felix, Taeyang, Jay Park, Vinida Weng, Mao Yanqi, and NCT. But leaves the bulletin board with the tracking of akumas to the main source. She didn't forget to add a sound proof in her room so that way her parents won't have to hear her music going on loud.

Felix went to pick up Dupain-Cheng since Chloe has been nagging him this morning since she got held back by her butler and her father about something. So he arrived to the bakery, "Oh welcome Felix. What can I do for you?" Sabine said at him she is betting on her husband if Felix confess his love to her daughter for 150 euros.

"Is Marinette awake? Chloe has been nagging me to pick her up since she couldn't do it. But I would like a coffee and a crossiant please." Felix stated as Sabine nodded and went to make the coffee but also grabbed a crossiant.

"Marinette is upstairs you can go up there." Sabine told Felix who nodded. He got his breaksfast and walk up the stairs to Marinette's room. As soon he reach the door then open it he saw the room changed this must have take weeks to finish this. So he sat on the chair to eat his crossiant but also drink his coffee.

Marinette is in her closet changing but also she changed her hairstyle instead of wearing lower pigtails everyday. She made her hair into a bun but leaves the rest of the hair down as she use the hairpin and bobbypin to make it stay still.

The door creak open revealing Marinette Dupain-Cheng as Felix was speechless how Dupain-Cheng look good its way better than her old clothes she wears every single day. But he already knew that Dupain-Cheng is Ladybug it wasn't hard to figure it out despite of her hairstyle from before and her eye color is the same. "Oh hello Felix." Marinette said with a smile causing him to blush as she giggle at his expression.

"I came to pick you up since Chloe has been nagging me. Oh before I forget Chloe manage to change your class to Mrs. Mendeleiev instead so you are coming with me in my class with Kagami, Adrien, and Luka." Felix said firmly as she nodded. Instead of wearing that purse she bought a backpack online last week.

"Say didn't Mrs. Mendeleiev say anything about field trips yet?" Marinette asked him. "She did but we need to do the fundraiser first to get the money you know." Felix stated as they both left the bakery to school follow by Chloe who scowl but ate her croissants with cream inside along with some coffee of her liking.

Arriving to Francois Dupont, Marinette is still chatting with Felix while Chloe follow behind still munching on her snacks that she got from the bakery. She is mostly welcome in the Dupain-Chengs household after apologizing to Marinete for bullying her for years. Then Kagami came by and kiss her girlfriend Chloe as Chloe gave her a coffee and her snacks as well.

"MARINETTE! HOW DARE YOU PUNCH LILA?!" Alya screech causing her to cover her ears quickly as she remain calm but the demeanor changes from calm to icy cold quite a level to Kagami. As Alya raise her fist at Marinette but she caught it which surprised her then she twist her arm as she scream in pain.

"Where's your proof huh? I just came to school with Kagami, Felix, and Chloe. Get that in your thick skull. You stupid wannabe reporter." She snarl coldly with so much malice and venom in it caused her to shiver down her spine and backed away. Just before she release her grip on Alya's hand she slapped her in the face hard causing her to stumble to the ground. As to there was a gasp behind Alya's back and a few from Marinette who had no idea she could that.

"You dare hit me?" Alya said while holding her cheek and stared in shock at Marinette who seem calm but glared at her with her death cold eyes. "What wouldn't I dare?" She said to her in a calm simple way with a hint of sickly sweet tone that turned out to be a malice tone.

"By title as we are students. But by rank, I am the great-granddaughter Head Ambassador of China. Who gave you the audacity to strike a court-appointed official? Do you really want my great-grandfather to declare war with Paris right now." Marinette said calmly although Kagami and Felix didn't know this information except Chloe.

"Bullshit! What kind of court-appointed official are you?" Alya exclaimed as Rose gasped, Bad Move Alya. Rose thought to herself. Until Marinette slapped Alya again causing her to fall down the ground.

"Marinette, you're pushing it too far!" Adrien butted in as Lila went to aid Alya holding her up. "Alya. Based on your insults and attempted assault, you could be punished severely. If you don't believe me, feel free to report it to the police or your lawyer. I'll wait and see to it." Marinette said coldly to them then walk away back to her group as Kagami stared at her speechless.

"Oh and one more thing, Alya... Grow up. And stop acting like a child. Your in high school. You act like a kindergarten." She said coldly then walked away with Felix, Kagami, and Chloe to Mrs. Mendeleiev's class. That tone in Marinette's voice gave chills across the Akuma Class. Nino gulped of how scary Marinette can be if she is near a limit. Lila shudder when she saw Dupain-Cheng glaring at her.

🌷⁺. [ ♡ ] — Tagged: (to get notification for the next chapter) --

🌷⁺. [ ♡ ] — i took one of the quotes from a historical chinese drama if you haven't guess it already. its actually What's Wrong With My Princess (Episode 26).

#miraculous ladybug #lila salt #alya salt #no lila rossi demption #marinette deserves better #felinette #chloe redemption #bustier salt #adrien redemption #lukadrien #chlogami #chloe bourgeois redemption #kagami x chloe #kagami tsurugi #luka couffaine #adrien deserves better #ml fic

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dzpenumbra · 2 years

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10/5/22

Weird day. Everything was off. Woke up and rushed to find groceries left on my porch for close to an hour. I think the food is all okay, there was a lot of chicken there. But it's cool out so I think it was fine. I got "breakfast" - half a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and an "emergency aka I don't want to make coffee Monster".

My mom came over and helped me sort my big pile of possessions that apparently just takes up half of my main room but I never really touch or look at. We sorted half of it a few days ago, today we tried to get the rest. I made it through a lot of it. Found old notepads with notes chronicling very difficult times. Times that should have been better. Well, maybe just could... I found some old lyrics that I don't remember writing, that's always a really cool feeling. Finding something that you wrote stream-of-consciousness and not recognizing that you were the author. It sounded like my style, but it was all new. Really cool experience when it's in lyric/poetry form, but really fucking weird how when I come across old journals and shit, stuff written in this format, I just kinda start freaking out a bit.

Freaking out is what I want to talk about, and fuck the whole "it's 7 AM, I should..." blah blah. Do I want to rush to sleep when it's already this late, or do I wanna work on my PTSD that I've been having like... a lot of attacks from lately. I've gotta do it sometime, and I spent the whole night just fucking off watching Twitch, playing Rimworld and rushing a not that great sketch for SketchDaily at 2AM. Let's break it up first though, start on a good note. I'm gonna go get the lyrics I found and share them with... well whoever reads this, I guess. If you stumbled across this and there isn't a Like (or whatever you guys call them on this site, I'm new, sorry. -_- ) then you are most likely the only other human being besides myself to hear these lyrics, so consider yourself very special!

I broke open the potion, motioning potently Hope my opening coping mechanisms, giving breath to living death We live in debt to thoughts that accost every sentimental pedal grinding cogs in the machine of dreams. Scream for serene mediocrity, premium property careening into poverty. So offer me your thoughts, you see I never let a picture of ghosts convict or repost my notes. Scoping venues of attack, cracking plastic masks we detach the masses with lactic acids and come back with passions, past visions of incisions digging deeper every second we progress. Stepping to the precipice, letting the second messages set and bet all my poker chips to open this Hopeless Opus. I know we'll overthrow this catastrophic masterpiece. At last I see. Rising from the ashes like a phoenix, taking flight into the Stars.

I think I'll call it "Hopeless Opus". And I think I'm gonna put it in my poetry book. I found it crumpled up in one of my storage bins or cardboard boxes of stuff on the floor. It's probably about 7-10 years old. I probably haven't read it since I wrote it. My house is full of this stuff. Poetry, sketches, half-finished projects, notebooks full of dream journals and sketches and doodles and minecraft diagrams and reference sheets for minecraft builds and notes for Subnautica recipes or Diablo 3 Rift run time-to-loot ratios. Shit like that. Chock full of it. It's pretty weird how this is just like... kinda normal to people in my world. Like... no one really looks at the shit I make and goes "We need to save that, we need to frame that and put it on a wall." Nope. This... We're getting to the root of my freakout today, by the way, so if you can feel that momentum, that intense gravity well in my writing that's just sucking this paragraph over towards this topic, that's what's goin on. Here we go. So let me set the scene.

I went to get my container that had... well basically all of my non-medical grade tattoo supplies. You see... there's a complete arc to my life story that I haven't really touched on here, and that I guess I don't often tell people. Well, I mean... it just doesn't really come up anymore? I guess? I don't know. So, when I decided my whole "custom graphics drawn on anything" store thing wasn't gonna work if I just tried to do it all myself (back in 2010), I decided to pursue tattoos. I mean, it's was a similar idea, and I did draw on skin a lot, and designed my own tattoos, right? So fuck it, let's go be a tattooist. I talked to my tattoo artist when I was getting a piece done by her, I still have the hand-drawn custom text font original sitting around somewhere. She kinda mangled the tattoo of it, to be honest. But I compulsively forgive, so like... it's not like it's permanent... But honestly, I'm more upset with where this went.

I asked her where she apprenticed, how to get into tattooing, if she's looking to take on an apprentice, that whole thing. She told me of this Tattoo School thing the next state over, she said she did that and just got licensed and set up shop. So... I cashed in my Americorps money and put it towards going to this school. I got tons of experience, and met some people. But I was kinda dumped out of the school back to my home state after. No one kept in touch. I met up with one of the guys I went with a few winters later, but it was weird, I was older and bought them booze and sat around sober at their party until I got bored and drove home. So... yeah, not the best scene, kinda super depressing actually now that I look back at it. So... yeah. I reached back out to my former artist, really hoping to follow up on finishing my hours under her. She shut me down. I shit you not. I had an art degree, I trusted her with 4 of my tattoos, she had no apprentice at the time and I went to the program she pointed me towards - the one she graduated from. And she turned me down.

So I went home and set up shop to do work for friends if they wanted it, two people took me up on it. Most of my work the next few years was tattoo design and portraiture commissions. I heard through the grapevine, from my best friend at the time who got one of the pieces she commission from me done by my old artist. I swear, at that point she probably inked more of my originals than her own... I'm a bit bitter... I heard that she had a new apprentice. That it was some teenage, maybe early 20s scene chick or something? Probably someone to just work the counters and clean or some shit.

I was dead in the water with tattooing. I didn't have any connections I could think of. The lady that ran the tattoo school moved down to Florida. The kid that had me buy beer worked at his dad's shop, they opened a new shop at some point I think? Fuck if I know. That whole thing was weird. But that kid tattooed a piece on my leg, so... weird how that's weird, I guess.

I didn't know anyone else. So I just went it alone. And fell back into design. Yeah. So just a few years ago, the winter before the pandemic, I went to a vocational rehabilitation program at the state offices. It was awkward as fuck. But the lady was really nice and her kids watched Twitch so she at least had an idea of what a livestream was. She hooked me up with an interview at an animal shelter as a dude who would be basically scooping cat shit and getting super bonded to animals, then watching them be put to death because they don't have a home to go to. And the lady who didn't hire me made a very fucking smart choice not hiring my ass. She saved me a lifetime of sleepless nights. The other meeting I had was with a tattoo shop like 3 towns over. They get a lot of good press, I had heard their name a lot. I showed up to the meeting about 30 minutes early, it was very early morning for me, probably around 8 or 9 AM. It was winter, and I'm just sitting in my car with the heater on trying to keep my music down, looking through my portfolio from years ago on my phone, waiting for the shop to open.

I went in, they seated me in the waiting area. They were still opening up and shit. I have no idea why this guy would schedule me first thing in the morning... that was really weird, in hindsight... but yeah, there I was, looking through their flashbooks on the table to get a feel for their styles, to familiarize myself with it, see if there were common trends I could bring up. I mean, they could be my future coworkers, I should be cool about it and not just brag and show off the whole time.

The guy brings me in to his booth. I start talking about my work and showing him some pieces on my phone. He was acting pretty aloof and, I don't know, distant I guess? Maybe he was just confused or tunnel-visioned or something. After the conversation was visibly not working for both of us, I don't really know what happened exactly, it was a few years ago... but he made it clear that he thought I was here for a tattoo appointment, and I was very clearly there for a job interview. He went on to start telling me a story about how he did an apprenticeship once, and the guy went to a town probably 40 minutes away from him, over a mountain range, and set up a shop in a remote rural area. He claimed the guy stole his business, ripped him off essentially, and set up a competing business in his area or some shit. I heard stories about this mentality in the school.

I very clearly didn't get the apprenticeship. I tried to explain that I just needed hours and that I was planning on leaving the state anyway so like... it's not the end of the world... but it was a hard no. And I really should have guessed seeing that when I looked at the site after, the only people in the shop were him, his wife, his daughter and her boyfriend/fiancee/husband/whatever. No clue why that dude agreed to set up a meeting with me, honestly. That was actually really shitty of him. Maybe he just wasn't thinking or something. Weird shit.

So that's pretty much where I just said fuck the tattoo thing. It was never my favorite medium. Nervewracking, stressful, tactilely overwhelming. It was good money, but it was never my favorite. It had its spiritual angles that appealed, and I got pretty good at it for a while, but I laid that baton down that day. I haven't really looked back since. Fuck that shit.

Then I reconnected with another friend from way back. He wanted to pursue tattooing, and actually turned down an apprenticeship that was offered to him. This was at like late spring/early summer of the pandemic. I offered him all of my tattoo gear. For free. My coil machines, my needles, my inks, even my rotary and the cartridges for it. They were relics from a bygone era. It's not the life for me. He turned them down. He wanted to do it his way. You know, the same reason he turned down the apprenticeship. That thing. So, yeah.

Today. I got the bin of tattoo stuff. The stuff that wasn't medical grade. The sketches, the prototypes, the piles of unused transfer paper (that would have been used as tattoo stencils). I mean, like over 100. IN THE TRASH. My old catalogue from 2013. IN THE TRASH. I debated throwing away the script from the highschool play I was in that my bandmate's friend was in. The one who played bass for us on stage in a Spiderman suit. I started to get stuck. I threw away some of my art today. Sketches, failed prototypes, but so much of it that it just. All of it hit me. Really hard.

I can't even really explain what happened. I just got really... offended, I guess? Or... just insanely deeply acutely depressed all at once? Or something. I really want to try and articulate this feeling, because then I can remember it for when it inevitably hits again. I was sad and angry and outraged and hurt all at the same time. I felt like if I'm such a talented artist, why the fuck does no one want any of my shit?! If I'm so good and skilled, why the hell is it all going into the trash. I feel in that moment like the kid who had his art pinned to the fridge having to take his own work down and put it in the trash himself, and learn through doing - not from being told in a kind, caring and fair way - that he is not a good artist. He will not be a professional artist. He is not talented enough, and no one will even tell him what skills to improve. No one will even tell him where he's going wrong, what he's missing. They just say "it's great, you're very talented" and then walk the fuck away. So a lot of me just goes, "okay, they're clearly just trying to be polite" and try to figure out what I could make better. But that shit was making me a perfectionist, and I'm very susceptible to OCD habits, so I tried to break free from it. I tried to engage - "what do you like about it? who is your favorite character? what could I do better?" Shit like that. But they're usually out the door by then.

So I bitched to the only person in the world helping me with anything about how no one helps me. About all that. And how I wish people would just tell me that I suck to my face so I can just put an end to all this crap. So I don't have to keep going on deluding myself into thinking I have a future with this. That part of me is very convincing, he makes very compelling points. It's hard to let him speak when I don't fully accept his narrative. I truly know I have talent. I do. But when every bit of evidence in front of you is screaming "the only reason people don't want shit is because they don't like it"... and you fight back against that? When you're the only person that wants your shit? That's just egotism. It's narcissism. I fucking hate it. So rock, meet hard place. Me sandwiched between.

So in that moment, I search for meaning. I search for exemptions to this damned if I do, damned if I don't situation. I explain how I wouldnt have this problem if people valued my shit. How demeaning it is that people can't even bother to go to my print shop that's been up for like 2 years. Why? Because... I mean... I don't know? Why is this hard? Just give people my Instagram, my profile has a link on it. I mean that's just like... How. Fucking. Lazy. Are People?! Do you need me to swipe your card for you too? I mean come on here. I think I literally said that to my Mom, like "I could hold a tablet with the shop up and Pay Now button on the damn screen and I'd still have to pull their arm over to press the screen." And you say you like my shit? You say it's good? It's like bargain bin prices too, it's super insulting. So yeah, you can probably tell by how worked up I am now how irritated I was getting there.

So yeah. A long path to get to that place. And that place was clearly a combination of a lot of intensely stressful and life-changing moments. A large nerve cluster at the center where this web of experiences meet. I guess they call that "complex trauma"? I don't know the jargon.

After a while of trying to get through that, eventually it kinda just faded down I guess, I don't know how. I really don't remember a ton. Maybe I let it go or something, I don't know. But the whole time I was just... I don't know... waiting to hear something different. Waiting to hear someone say "you better not give up on this." "You have a gift, you need to see it through, you've already come this far, don't give up now." Shit like that. Not like, you need to get better at marketing. Not like, you need to make more friends. Not like, you need to figure out how to fix this yourself. These are the sentiments I read from the situation, there's a reason they're not direct quotes.

So yeah, a bit of a Yin and Yang here in this journal that I was going to depressedly skip and just try to pass out, but instead stayed up until 8:30 AM typing because fuck it, I need to get this shit out and it's a rollercoaster of a story. I'm glad I got to share the poetry too, I think it's very relevant to a lot of what I'm dealing with here, at least parts of it.

I can feel myself winding down. Thank you for reading if you did. This is the story of how my career went to shit. But it led me to freelance, streaming and content creation, so in the end, this may be a better life for me than the one I was signing up for. I guess we'll have to see!

#diary #journal #stream of thoughts #spilled thoughts #online journal #stream of conscious writing #mental health #my story #tattoo apprentice

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mcyt-imagines · 3 years

Note

hi hi ! first off, just a tip if you'd like more requests/asks in general you should prob turn on anon since this is like the only time i've sent a non-anon ask. but anyways, i'm assuming requests are open and i'd like to ask if you would write either just ranboo fluff in general or something like the tommy confession headcanons but w ranboo :D what you've posted so far is great <3

Thank you so much for letting me know! I thought I had anon turned on already, but it’s 100% turned on now! Regarding your request I got a little carried away and wrote both some general fluff and some confession headcanons for Ranboo so this post is a little long... Hope you enjoy! :D

(It’s important to note that these headcanons are a combination of ones pertaining to his Minecraft character in the dsmp and him outside of the dsmp roleplay!)

General Ranboo Fluff

- Dreamsmp Ranboo -

The first time Ranboo cries in front of you is when you confess to him and he is so happy and relieved that you reciprocate his feelings. He even smiles through the pain of his tears as you panic to cover the skin beneath his eyes, so your hands catch his tears to stop the pain.

Ranboo likes to ask if you need any resources from time to time and once you finally give in and answer, he spends the rest of his day trying to collect as much of it as he can. This has led to a few incidents in which you came back to your shared indent in the snowy mountain to find a chest stacked full with polished stone and countless ores. You’ve scolded him but the way he responds with big puppy dog eyes wishing to “just be helpful.” Sets the butterflies caged in your chest free every damn time.

Ranboo in addition to asking you for want you want he is also very observant in noticing what you need. Any tools close to breaking? Brilliant, he’s already got three more of the same tools ready for you to grab when you need it. He also names them using the anvil to some silly super cheesy pet names.

One of his favourite things to do with you is stargaze. You both travel to the top of your snowy mountain and clear out a space free of snow to lie down and simply hold each other. Ranboo has started asking Techno (on the nights you are away) to point out the stars and tell him their corresponding stories. He happily relays all of this information to you in exaggerated detail, looking at you in awe as your expressions change with the twinkling lights above.

Ranboo almost always carries a little umbrella around with him in case it begins to rain. Most of his friends notice and all start to buy him some. He now has a full collection that line his wall just next to the door. It’s those small things that allows him to remember who his real friends are.

Ranboo LOVES having his hair played with. He will fall asleep within minutes of you beginning to tousle his hair as he rests his head in your lap. He may make soft enderman noises, but you don’t dare tell him. Content on keeping that little secret to yourself.

Ranboo has to be kinda careful around snow considering that if it melts it will hurt him. Meaning he has to sit out on any snowball fights that occur. And they occur more frequently than you would think. It usually starts with Phil throwing a rogue snowball at Techno when Phil notices him slumping his shoulders. Which means it doesn’t take long until it’s a full-blown war. You usually find yourself smack bang in the middle of it and have to dive down to avoid getting pummelled in the crossfire. Ranboo will call you over to hide behind Techno’s house. As the onslaught continues between the two. you giggle and commentate over the fierce battle together.

- Outside of Dreamsmp Ranboo -

Ranboo enjoys watching you whenever you are focused on something. He’s incredibly observant and finds himself mimicking the small little nuances he sees you exhibit. He gets incredibly flustered whenever you notice that he’s picked up on them, but he doesn’t bother to deny it.

Ranboo finds himself staring at you a lot. He doesn’t mean to but he can’t help it. You catch him frequently, “Watching me real closely, hm?” He tries to stutter out an answer to defend himself, but you just smile and tell him it’s okay.

Ranboo finds a lot of comfort in doing ‘domestic’ activities with you. However, one of his personal favourites is when the two of you go out to get groceries together. His mum will give him a small list and he’ll try his best to dawdle around the store whilst swinging your intertwined hands to make the visit as long as possible. It makes him think of a future in which the two of you get to do this every single week and that alone warms his heart.

Ranboo always has to be near you, he doesn’t have to be physically touching you but he prefers to just be stupidly close to you. It always makes you laugh when he sits just close enough to you that you don’t touch, so now he has to do it forever.

Your laugh is one of his favourite sounds. To the point that if you giggle or laugh at something, he will just keep doing it over and over again for as long as you keep laughing at it. Which eventually leads to the both of you red-faced and gasping for air.

Ranboo is a terrible cook. But he tries so hard to follow recipes and they always flop. He also for some reason, cannot attempt cooking without making an utter mess of himself. Whether it’s spilling flour all over himself, getting egg yolk splatter somehow in his hair or just spilling copious amounts of milk on the floor so that he slips. This boy is a walking, talking kitchen DISASTER. So now he can only cook with you supervising him. Which turns out, wasn’t as much of a punishment as it should have been. As your tutelage seems to have slightly improved his cooking skills. However, now you also get flour spilt all over you as well.

Ranboo Confession Headcanons

- Realising he likes you -

Ranboo denies he has feelings for you at first. Believing that you’re just a good friend whose company he really enjoys. But the more he focuses on your friendship the quicker he realises he would prefer if you were more to him than that.

This thought alone sends him into a little bit of a spiral for a few days. Grappling with the thought of rejection and the guilt he would feel if he ever hurt you.

He spends most of the time grappling with his feelings he continues to try and act as normal as possible around you. You finding out would be his worst nightmare.

Ranboo realises he has absolutely no history in the dating department and desperately needs some guidance. He may ask Phil on a whim who would try his best to give the poor panicked boy some words of wisdom. Ranboo takes the advice to heart immediately, promising Phil he will update him on how his feelings for you turn out.

Ranboo finds himself writing about you in one of his many journals. He finds putting words on the page seems to help clear his mind. He tries to script his confession a few times. Desperately floundering to find the right words, but he always seems to fall short. He usually ends up scribbling all over those pages until you can barely tell someone had even written on them. Hoping to somehow erase the thoughts in the process.

He even tries drawing you a few times when he finds himself with enough spare time. He doesn’t think they’re any good though. Sure, the sketches look like you, but they don’t make him feel the way you do. When he looks at the page his chest doesn’t tighten because of your beauty, but instead because of the way you’ve made him feel. Which he comes to the sad conclusion is something he simply cannot capture in his words or his drawings. He has to show it through his actions. Not exactly his strong suit. But he’s determined to do right by you. So, he devises a plan.

- Confessing to you -

This boy plans the whole day down to a t, he has multiple back-up plans just in case his first one falls short.

Ranboo invites you over for lunch. Arriving at his place you notice how clean it is. He spent the last few days cleaning it top to bottom.

You spend a few minutes in the house chatting. You notice Ranboo is on edge almost immediately. Shoulders a pinch too tight, his smiles a little too wide and none of them reach his eyes.

You ask what you’re going to be having for lunch and he reveals a wicker basket from his kitchen. “A picnic!” Your heart warms, “I would’ve brought something if you’d told me beforehand.” He smiles at that, “Exactly. I even cooked without you, you should be proud.”

He shuffles on his feet a little, wishing to be praised, “We’ll see how the food tastes first, maybe then I’ll tell you how proud I am.” You tease, moving to elbow him lightly. You notice the way his face flushes as you move into his space. His mother appears from upstairs, “Are you two leaving? I could drive you, y’know!” “No thanks mom!!” He is quick to grab your hand and practically drag you out of the house and away from his all knowing mom.

The bus ride is on the longer side and you find yourself feeling brave enough to scoot a little closer to Ranboo. “Hey, is it okay if I?” You gesture between your head and his shoulder, the cute, shocked expression he sends you causes you to grin. “Uh s-sure!”

You softly press your head against his shoulder, “Thanks, pretty comfy shoulder you got here should’ve asked you to share it sooner.” You tease, nuzzling his shoulder lightly just for a reaction. And you get one alright, his skin goes such a lovely shade of red all the way up to the tips of his ears. You giggle softly, trying your best to hold it in and failing miserably.

You even manage to fall asleep despite your own heartbeat quickening at Ranboo’s closeness. You are tapped awake by him, “Hmm?” You rub one of your eyes knowingly appearing adorable and the way he looks at you makes it all worth it. “It’s our stop soon, we gotta get up.”

You nod and lazily stand and he follows suit. Only for the bus to brake abruptly, promptly shoving you into his chest. He wraps his arms around you quickly to steady you whilst you desperately cling to the wicker basket, “You okay?” You both mumble to each other before laughing it off and nodding. “Oh crap.” Ranboo grabs your free hand and you both scramble to get to the front of the bus to hop off. Sparks fly up your arm at the extended contact, even as you jump off the bus.

Ranboo happily leads you to a spot he had picked out earlier in the month. A soft patch of grass below a large willow tree that now sways softly in the warm breeze. You set up your carefully packaged feast with haste now that your stomachs are grumbling.

Ranboo forcefully tries to make himself relax knowing you’ve probably noticed his tense state by now. But you choose not to push him on it, taking an educated guess on why he’s so stressed.

You are quick to compliment his cooking skills when he divvies out a freshly baked quiche. Even though you know his mom for sure did most of the work. It’s the thought that counts. You hope that may snap him out of the stupor he seems to be in. However, no such luck.

“Hey Ranboo, do you want to talk about something?” Ranboo goes into full panic mode. He did not have a plan for you asking something like this. He thought you weren’t confrontational!! You watch as his expression changes rapidly. You look away, “You don’t have to tell me, it’s okay. I just thought you might want to-“

He takes one of your hands in his. Why is he doing this??? This isn’t part of the plan at all! “I…” His throat goes dry. All those hours obsessing over what he was going to say to you are sent out the window when he finally meets your eyes.

“I think I like you.” He hasn’t realised he’s even said it until its waaaaaay too late. Your eyes widen, you didn’t think he’d actually admit it to you. You squeeze his hand as you watch his eyes seem to lose focus, “I like you too.” He is silent for several long moments until he starts blinking rapidly, “Huh!?” The look of utter surprise on his face causes you to burst out laughing.

“Wait, wait, wait you’re serious?” He grabs your arm as a grin slowly starts to creep onto his face. “Sure am.” And as you meet his gaze you realise that his grin actually reached his eyes, for the first time in a long while.

“So, you gonna kiss me now or what?” You tease as his face shines a dark red. “W-well I, uh-“ His stuttering only allows for you to sneak closer and press a firm kiss to his cheek. Somehow, he grows even redder and you sigh pleasantly. “My heart definitely made the right choice with you Ranboo.”

Meanwhile Ranboo is too busy freaking out over the fact that you weren’t even meant to find out he liked you until you were stargazing together later tonight. His plans are utterly ruined! But as you squeeze his hand again to bring his thoughts back into the present, he wonders that perhaps spontaneity isn’t such a bad thing sometimes.

~My ask box is always open if you’ve got any requests or just want to vent about the dreamsmp lore!~

#mcyt #ranboo #x reader #ranboo x reader #fluff headcanons #mcyt x reader #confession headcanons #mcyt imagines #mcyt headcanons

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sunflowerstrays · 5 years

Text

starry night ➳ l.f

lee felix x kim seungmin x reader.

words: 3.5k.

genre: fluff.

---

“So, I’ve had a lot of roommates,” you say, pushing your glasses up your nose as you sit opposite Felix and Seungmin, “and a lot of people applied to be my roommate. I’ve known both of you for a sum total of… three days? And you guys have already won me over.”

“Hell yes!” Felix shouts, fist pumping the air as he launches himself towards you for a hug. Crushed beneath him, you barely hear Seungmin thank you repeatedly in his soft voice. The contrast between these two boys was almost the deal breaker for you. They were perfect friends to have; loud and quiet, outgoing and introverted, bold and soft. Polar opposites attract.

According to their story, Felix and Seungmin knew each other last year at the creative arts school the three of you attended. They were roommates before, but applied for accommodation too late this year and this was their last option. School starts again tomorrow, and you’d be back to your art course all guns ablazing, whilst Felix was continuing his musical theatre course and Seungmin his creative writing course. You wondered how you’d never bumped into either of them before.

Felix, with his ever changing hair colour, was pretty unmissable after all, and you worked with the creative writing team last year in designing the stage that the theatre students performed on in last year’s play.

“This is incredible news,” Felix finally says, wedging himself between you and the rest of the small sofa in the tiny apartment you were now sharing with these two boys. You smile, pressed up besides him as he continues chattering about how excited he is. “Just wonderful.”

“It’s going to be a bit… loud, with him around,” Seungmin sighs, making you giggle. “Trust me, an average of three hours of sleep a night is good with Felix.”

You soon learnt this to be true. Later that evening, after the three of you had gone out for dinner at the nearby fried chicken restaurant, you were curling up on the sofa sketching in a rough book and enjoying the last evening of summer. Seungmin was sat at your feet, mirroring your position with his feet resting on top of your fluffy socks, sharing a blanket with you whilst he was working on something on his laptop. Normally, this would be the perfect scenario for you to fall asleep in.

Only Felix was chatting away to himself through some rehearsal notes he had for plays that he had coming up this year. You didn’t mind, as you could see how passionate he was for the subject, and sometimes the random lines he would say would make you and Seungmin giggle. But every time you felt yourself beginning to nod off, Felix would announce a passionate love line from something that sounded Shakespearean, and you were jerked awake again.

You understood Seungmin’s complaints, but found Felix’s outbursts cuter rather than annoying. Finally Felix retreated to shower and bed, and as you could faintly hear him singing in the shower, Seungmin seem to relax.

“Felix may be older but boy is he chaotic to look after,” Seungmin says to fill the silent air between you, making you burst out laughing. You never imagined living with two boys to be quite this loud - you knew it would be loud, granted, but not this much noise from one person. “But I love him a lot so… These things happen.”

“You guys have such a cute bond,” you grin, putting down your book and smiling at Seungmin. “And to have stuck together all this time? I had eight different friendship circles last year alone. And now, they all hate me.”

Seungmin laughs, but is wary of whether you meant it as a joke or not. When questioned on it you explain that the situation was funny rather than sad, and in retrospective was quite ridiculous. Most of the friends you ended up falling out with was because their course was very dissimilar to yours, and they didn’t understand why you spent all your time painting or drawing or taking photos. That, or they were jealous that you were so open and friendly to everyone, they wouldn’t trust you.

“Well, now you’ve got us,” Seungmin says with a bright smile, “and we aren’t like that. Felix generates enough energy for himself and both of us, I don’t have enough friends to ditch you two and you are housing us so… I think we will get on quite well.”

Seungmin wasn’t wrong. The three of you got on like a house on fire. On Tuesday night’s when you had a yoga class, Seungmin and Felix would meet you afterwards for Takeout Tuesdays and to make sure you were safe. When Felix would have swimming classes during lunch hours, you’d always bring the food that Seungmin bought him during lunch to ensure he ate well. If Seungmin visited home any weekends, you and Felix would spend all of Friday night and Saturday together, watching movie marathons and waiting for your best friend to return.

And you couldn’t be happier. In fact, everything was perfect. For a few smooth months you grew especially close with the two boys, and you wouldn’t change it for the world. Everything fell in place like you wanted it to; school was going well, you were feeling happier about life, and you had two friends who meant the world to you, and who you meant the world to.

That was until one Tuesday, it was only Felix waiting for you on the purple plastic chairs in the foyer of the gym where your yoga classes were held. The smile on his face was as bright as ever, but didn’t meet his eyes like it usually did. Confusion had grabbed at you as you approached the currently red headed boy.

“Where’s Seungmin? Did something happen?” You ask worriedly, waiting for Felix to stand up. His face is sad, soft at the edges and the smile has completely disappeared now. “Felix?” You call after a long period of silence.

“He’s on a date with someone else, y/n,” Felix shrugs as he offers you a hand. “I’m really sorry.”

You take his fist but raise a confused eyebrow. “Why are you sorry? That’s good for him! He shouldn’t have to feel bad about dating other people because of us, should he?”

“I thought- but- what?” The Australian boy lets your hand drop and stops just outside of the gym. People from your class bustle past, tutting at the obstruction that the small Australian boy had caused. You take his elbow and lead his confused figure to the side, where you were hidden in the darkness of the night and not at risk of being run over by a gym hulk.

“What’s wrong Felix?” You ask, dropping his elbow now.

“I thought you liked Seungmin,” he says, pouting. “Like, fancied him. Wanted to go out with him. I don’t know how you say it.”

“Seungmin? Oh, dear no,” you say, bursting into giggles in front of the confused boy. “No, what gave you that impression?”

Felix takes your hand again and begins leading you to your local restaurant. He explains his thoughts, and most of them make you laugh. The fact that Seungmin and you would stay up to chat about philosophical things that Felix didn’t care for, or that you’d always sketch him if bored, or that whenever he went away at the weekends you’d be forlorn until he returned Sunday night.

“Oh,” you say when Felix says that he thought there may have been something between the two of you that he didn’t know about. “I mean, there clearly isn’t if he is dating someone else. I- I didn’t realise that is what you thought.”

You and Felix manage to laugh off Felix’s poor judgement of your relationship with Seungmin. After the giggles have passed and you are both tucking in to your food from your favourite take-out on the couch, you forget all about the conversation. The remainder of the evening is spent on Minecraft with Felix, who was insistent he had something cool to show you. Instead the two of you end up designing a huge castle that you leave him to build when there is knocking at the door.

“Seungmin?” You ask, confused, when he knocks on the door later that evening. He stands, cheeks flushed and smile bright when you answer.

“Forgot my keys when I left early. Glad you guys were still awake, I thought I was going to have to holler at the door until someone answered,” he grins as you step aside and let him through. “Minecraft again, Felix?”

“Well, seeing as you ditched us for Takeout Tuesday’s, y/n said they would play with me,” Felix says rather sulkishly that makes you giggle. Seungmin doesn’t seem to notice his tone though as he glides through the apartment on cloud nine, a grin on his soft cheeks and a happy haze in his eyes.

“That was today? You guys should’ve said,” he replies, oblivious to Felix’s apparent sadness. You take a seat beside the blond boy again as Seungmin leaves for his bedroom in a daze. Saddened, Felix drops the controller for Minecraft and turns off the games console.

“I don’t like it, y/n,” Felix says, letting his head drop on your shoulder. “Seungmin has always been… mine. And, in the most selfish way possible, I don’t want him to find someone else. Because who will love me?”

“First of all, Felix,” you say, taking his hand and interlocking your fingers with him, “Seungmin isn’t going to leave you. You know what he is like; he’s very loyal, and wouldn’t just ditch you for someone who he may or may not be romantically involved with,” you choose your words carefully as you try to comfort the boy, not wanting to do more harm than good. “Also, you’ve got me! And seeing as you are living in my apartment for the next year, I don’t think I’m going to be leaving anytime soon, okay?”

“Okay,” Felix says, although he doesn’t sound convinced. Seungmin returns from his room ten minutes later in his pyjamas, ready to talk all about his date, but Felix remains curled in your side as the two of you watch the television show, letting Seungmin talk himself into a daze.

This is what your life had become all of a sudden. From blissful friendship dates out with your two best friends, to it being just you and Felix and Seungmin coming home with more fantastic news about his wonderful partner. You were happy for him; he deserved someone who could love him after all, but what upset you was that he had no regard for Felix’s feelings. Whether it was that he didn’t notice, or didn't care, you weren't sure. But you knew that you didn’t want Felix to feel even worse about the situation than he already did, so you made an effort to cheer him up whenever possible.

That meant you’d sit with him through all of his swimming classes, eating your lunch and quietly drawing at the side of the pool whilst he stormed through the water. Soon after you began attending him at the pool, he joined your yoga class, and whilst he was nowhere near as flexible and calm as you were, he enjoyed them a lot; and would tell you this frequently, although you were sure he just liked your instructor more than the class itself.

The weekends when Seungmin was away were even better now that Felix and you were used to being alone; each weekend one of you would have to find something new to do in the city that the pair of you could do. This resulted in some really successful trips, such as the art museum that you took Felix too and he loved, and the theatre that Felix brought you to that was showing his favourite musical, with a comedy twist to it.

Between the good weekends, there were some that were less fortunate; for example, when you took Felix to a food market, but he had been stung by a bee and had a bad reaction to the insect, or the time when Felix had decided to take you to a cinema showing, left the tickets in the taxi the two of you took to get to the cinema, and couldn’t get into the screen.

Despite the good and bad times, you loved hanging out with Felix. Spending all of your time around the boy that reminded you of the sun and the stars was quickly becoming your favourite thing to do. Whether it was the silly trips the two of you would take, or the yoga classes, or even lounging around in your lazy clothes in your apartment, you loved it.

It was why you were sitting on your couch at the minute, Felix’s head in your lap whilst the two of you curled up for a Christmas movie. Felix would be travelling back to Australia for two weeks, and you were visiting your family for a short time as well. You knew you were going to miss the boy incredibly over Christmas, and so was aiming to spend as much time with him as possible. Seungmin was also spending Christmas with his family, yet you weren’t sure whether he was going to join you and Felix for your last few days together.

Regardless of that, Felix was planning you an Australian style Christmas dinner, which you were incredibly nervous for because you had no idea what to expect. The young boy was interesting when he was cooking anyway, so a meal entirely prepared by himself was something you weren’t sure you were prepared for.

“Hey guys,” Seungmin says as he walks through the door. “Did you not go to yoga class tonight, y/n?”

“It’s finished until after Christmas,” Felix answers, making Seungmin raise an eyebrow. “Yeah, we started going together seeing as I didn’t have anything else to do on a Tuesday night.” You place a hand on Felix’s soft hair, the other locking his fingers with yours. You are subtly telling him to go easy on Seungmin; you had noticed a change in his demeanour immediately, and wanted to make sure the red haired boy was okay.

“How was your evening, Seungmin?” You ask, and he frowns.

“Well, I think I got stood up. But I’m not sure. Hyunjin said that he was going to be late to the dinner reservation, but he never showed up,” Seungmin shrugs as he drops into the empty seat. “Do you think he hates me guys?”

Hyunjin was the boy Seungmin had been seeing for months now. They had been dating for a little over a month, but you hadn’t expected bad news to come so soon. You’d only met the boy a handful of times, but he seemed very sweet; tall, quiet but had the most beautiful laugh, and made Seungmin. As long as he made Seungmin happy, you were happy.

“Of course not,” you said with a smile. “Try calling him later. Maybe something came up?” Seungmin makes a ‘hmm’ sound, pulling out his phone and beginning to scroll through it. “There is some food left in the fridge from the takeout if you didn’t eat, by the way.”

“Oh you guys are the best!” Seungmin says, his voice happy. The divided attention from the Hyunjin situation has him looking at you and Felix properly. “Wait- Felix?”

“Wassup?” Felix says, not taking his eyes from the movie in front of you. “I promise I didn’t eat all the chicken.”

“That’s not- never mind,” Seungmin says, giving you a raised eyebrow. You mouth that you’ll explain later, and with that Seungmin goes for his food. Felix finally turns his attention up to you, staring at you with beautiful, star filled eyes that are look so sad you want to weep for him.

“I don’t want him here,” Felix says quietly, squeezing your hand with his. With his soft hair between your fingers, you smile sadly at him, understanding how he feels. You were hoping that you were going to be able to enjoy the rest of the evening with Felix alone, because that was the company you had grown to love the most.

“You don't mean that Felix,” you feel compelled to say it, just for your own conscience. “It's been a while. Give it a minute and it'll be just like it used to be.”

Seungmin returns to the living room with food in hand, taking a seat and chatting with you quietly about the movie thus far. He finally catches up with the plans for Christmas, and for a short few hours, it feels like it did at the start. Eventually though Felix grows fed up of the interaction, wishes you a goodnight and drags himself off to bed. You are left in silence with Seungmin, unsure what to say to fill that void in your friendship.

“So you and Felix..?”

“Nothing like that,” you state, although your voice shakes as you say it. “He just… He misses his best friend, Seungmin, and I’ve had to fill that gap.”

“Misses me?” Seungmin’s voice is pure confusion; he has no concept of how much he has ignored his responsibilities as a friend recently. You feel bad for thinking so, but that was how you felt; whilst you loved Seungmin, he had been very distant recently, and that was beginning to wear on both Felix and you.

“You do spend all your time with Hyunjin,” you shrug, picking at the blanket you had been sharing with Felix. “Which is great, because he makes you happy and that makes me happy, Felix as well. But we just miss you hanging around with us; Takeout Tuesday’s and movie marathons and those stupid board games we would stay up all night to finish.”

Seungmin looks truly distraught, which makes the situation even worse. He hadn’t realised how much he had neglected Felix and you, and you could see that burden taking him on suddenly. His red head drops into his hands as he looks at the floor, reminding you of a child that had been scolded.

He begins apologising, but you shrug it off, explaining that it didn’t bother you. It was Felix he ought to apologise to, but the blond boy was too upset with it all still to speak with him. You suggest that it is probably best if the two friends take a few days out to hang out and sort any disagreements between them, before resorting to bed yourself.

What you didn’t expect to see lounging in your bed was Felix, stretched all across the sheets with the moonlight highlighting the beautiful features of his face. He was fast asleep, small snores fanning the hair that had fallen over his eyes gently with each shallow breath. Seeing him like this, this vulnerable and calm, made you happy; all you wanted was for him to be happy, you realised, and this was one of those moments you wanted to treasure forever.

After changing quickly in the bathroom you curl up in your bed beside Felix. Without waking him you roll on your side and watch him sleep peacefully, mind racing too fast to think about anything else. What Seungmin had said tonight brought you back to that first conversation Felix had had with you a few months ago regarding you and Seungmin.

He had suspected Seungmin and you had some secret relationship that he wasn’t aware about, yet it had turned out Seungmin was seeing Hyunjin, the boy from his creative writing course. However you had never given Felix reason for him to think Seungmin and you were in any sort of relationship, and Seungmin had never given that impression either. But now, Seungmin was wondering the same thing about Felix and you; and as a result, you were starting to think about that too.

All of the countless hours you had spent with Felix in the last few months must have counted towards something, you were sure. There was nothing else that would explain that fluttery feeling in your stomach whenever you hung out with him; it was so often now that it had become a part of you. The thought of being away from him for two weeks was making you so sad that you figured that must have been it.

That night, you didn’t sleep. When Felix woke up the next morning and saw you awake, he questioned whether you had slept as well. You had lied easily, and laid with him until it was time for you to leave for your art class in the morning. Felix and Seungmin were going to spend the day together, rebonding the friendship that had faded with time, and you were terrified about what you would come home to.

---

so i’ve had exams at school and i’m writing to relax. this was something i had in my drafts for months and now i’m finishing it. might have part two up sometime this weekend, and if not definitely some time next week :)

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