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littlepanduh-writes-365 · 1 year

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Day 101

Title: “I Still See Those Stars”

Features: Jiyoo (Dream Catcher) | Seola (WJSN) | Seulgi (Red Velvet)

Word Count: 2,609

Inspiration: angsty one shot starters - "It really hurts."

Tags: Apocalypse/Dystopian AU | Angst | Open Ending

cw// blood

(I actually think this might turn into a full flic. There's a little more backstory regarding Hyunjung and a continuation for Seulgi and Jiyoo. I'll keep posting WIPs for the time being. Enjoy this little excerpt for now!)

(Minor context that will be in the full version: I haven't fully developed the story, but this is taken place some time in the beginning of an apocalypse. Just from a little research, it seems that electricity and satellites would still be working, especially in bigger cities. That's why my characters are still using them.)

“It really hurts.” Yoohyeon wants to follow up with another snarky comment, but finds herself completely winded after saying those three simple words. She lets out a gasp and attempts to cover it with a chuckle.

Doom washes over Minji and ferociously drains into the car seat below them. Yoohyeon wasn’t one to bluntly voice her pain. She was only like this in dire situations. Minji checks the gash on Yoohyeon’s side. Fighting her tears, she puts pressure on an area that was still bleeding and ignores Yoohyeon’s wince.

“We’re only twenty minutes away from the nearest encampment.” Hyunjung presses down on the accelerator.

Minji knows she needs to stay positive, but the logical side in her couldn’t help but think of the worst case scenario. What if the next encampment was already run over by a mob of monsters? What if it didn’t have medicine or food? They were running out of backup plans and extra supplies.

The weak woman puts a hand over her girlfriend’s fist. Not wanting to look at a bloody bandage, Minji looks back up at Yoohyeon and brushes away some stray hair.

What if she lost Yoohyeon?

“Stay strong.” Hyunjung’s timely advice is directed towards Yoohyeon, yet looks at Minji through the mirror in the sun visor.

Minji hates it. Twenty minutes was a long time. So much time, with little to do. She could stare out the window to calm her anxieties or stare into the love of her life’s eyes in case it may be the last time she does so. She could think about what her life will be like in a new base or reminisce about her college days with her girlfriend before this biological warfare started. Twenty minutes in this universe could be nothing or everything. Should Minji help look into other encampments and check radio signals or should she comfort the person she loves the most and mentally prepare for the worst?

She looks out the window to check for any signs of refuge. They were driving on a road that was right in between farmland and the city. Unfortunately, there were no signs of activity on either side. The factories were far out and didn't promise resources. Scavenging city buildings was risky and they already showed signs of abandonment. “How far out are we?” She isn’t coherent enough to think of a plan, but she could at least brainstorm something. The other passengers can put together the pieces.

Hyunjung looks at the GPS. “I’d say less than 30 kilometers.” Minji hates how unsure she sounds, but understands any satellite device has a growing margin of error in terms of accuracy. Time will only tell when cell towers and the electric grid will start to fail like in the movies.

Due to its damaged suspensions, the truck shakes rather violently as Hyunjung runs over some carcasses. Minji wants to scold her for driving so fast but still feels a wave of anxiety when Hyunjung slows down to an appropriate speed. The internal battle irritates the leader, making Minji hate her desperation for a safe haven.

Yoohyeon grunts. The aggressive shaking caused her to bleed out again. Minji fumbles around for the first aid kit. After making so much noise, Seulgi reaches behind them to pass on a clean bandage.

Minji dresses the wound. Thankfully, it’s not deep, but it’s undeniably sizable. “You’re gonna be okay, Yoo.” The patient reaches up to bite on her first. Minji hates seeing her in so much pain.

“Make a left at the intersection,” Seulgi commands in a low voice. Hyunjung follows her orders.

“Do we know anyone at that encampment?” Minji continues distracting herself.

Thankfully, Seulgi doesn’t hesitate to respond. “Our main point of contact is Kim Taeyeon.”

“Kim Taeyeon.” Minji ponders over her name. “Why does that name sound familiar?” Uncertainty hasn’t ever been a stranger to Minji ever since this horrid adventure started, but she wished there wasn’t so much of it at a time like this.

Seulgi visibly gulps. However, she knows not to test Minji’s patience. “Taeyeon-unnie took Joohyun-unnie into her care.”

It’s a rather bitter memory.

This Taeyeon-person seems trustworthy, but considering Joohyun’s fate…

Minji doesn’t like how there hasn’t been a single odd in their favor.

Still, she pushes for answers. “How do you know we can trust her?”

Seulgi bites the inside of her cheek. Even Hyunjung glances over to check on her. “Taeyeon-unnie took Joohyunnie in without any question.” She pauses to brace herself and to push back the affection. “I understand what happened to Joohyun-unnie, but we all know that was out of our control. I’m still grateful that sunbaenim took her in without question and treated her as best as she could.”

Minji can hold onto Seulgi’s hope, but continues to dig for a peace of mind. “And what if she’s not there?”

“I was in contact with her yesterday. They still have control over a communications tower and haven’t had to resort to using a backup power generator. They seem to be doing fine.” Seulgi’s defensive nature is a rare occurrence and tips Minji off.

“That was before the attack.” Minji sounds a little more volatile than she ever wants to be. “What if she’s not there? What if they were affected, too?”

Seulgi sighs. She doesn’t know how to give an answer that an angry Minji will accept.

This time, Hyunjung steps in. “The next camp after is another 12 kilometers from Taeyeon-ssi’s base. Hyojung-unnie and Hyunwoo-oppa are there. I haven’t contacted them, but their base camp is pretty big and I’m pretty confident that they’re still there. We’ll radio in when we get close.” Her supposed backup plan still had holes in it, but the concept was enough to ease some of Minji’s worries.

In the back, Yoohyeon takes a shaky breath. Minji immediately consoles her.

Hyunjung looks at her backseat passengers in the rearview mirror. “You think you can hold up, Yoo?” She won’t be able to see, but Yoohyeon smiles.

“She’s holding a thumbs up.” Minji lets out a chuckle.

It’s enough to keep the driver going.

“How about you?” Hyunjung lowers her voice and looks towards Seulgi. “Are you doing okay?”

Seulgi hesitates. Her silence is enough of an answer.

The tension in the car is rather unbearable, so Hyunjung rolls down her window and turns up the music. She mentally prepares herself for what she’s going to see—who she’s going to see. It’s a lot to think about and she may never be ready to return, but knows she doesn’t have a choice.

At least there’s a hint of excitement. That’s gotta count for something, right?

Trying to stay awake amidst the silence, Yoohyeon looks out the window and notices the Lotte World Tower. She smiles. “We’re on our way home.”

The message was a little too obscure for Minji’s comfort. Was Yoohyeon starting to see The Light ™? “What do you mean by that?”

Yoohyeon continues to stare out the window. “Everytime I took the bus home from uni, I knew we were close to home when I saw the Lotte World Tower. Don’t you remember?”

Minji doesn’t remember, and she’s about to lie, but suddenly remembers bus rides with Bora and Siyeon and finds comfort in the past. She wonders if her other friends are there. She wonders if they’re alive. She wonders if she can go home.

The car stops. Minji looks outside and sees that they have reached a bridge.

Hyunjung turns in her seat to crack her back. “It’s a rather long line, but the coast is clear and at least things are moving along. She pauses to take a deep breath. “We won’t be moving for a while. I’m going out to stretch and—” to brace myself. Hyunjung doesn’t complete her thought. “Is that okay with everyone?”

Seulgi looks back, mostly for Minji’s approval. She senses this magnetic pull between her and Yoohyeon that is just begging to be satisfied and mentally scrambles a way out of the car as well. “I’m going to check our inventory.”

Hyunjung unbuckles her seatbelt and scurries out. “Knock on the window in case you need something. I won’t go far.”

The driver’s window and the back door are open, but it’s the most privacy Minji and Yoohyeon have had in a long time. Minji allows herself to decompress, but tries to keep her emotions at bay. She can’t relish in relief until they pass this bridge.

“Minji-yah,” Yoohyeon weakly calls out to her.

The owner of the name looks down at her girlfriend and squeezes on her weakening hand. “We’re almost there, Yoo. Just wait a little more.”

The injured woman pitifully smiles. “Do you remember the time we went stargazing after finals?”

Minji doesn’t like this one bit.

She doesn’t like how Yoohyeon sounds tired of clinging onto hope. She hates thinking that Yoohyeon is resorting to their time at university to stay optimistic. She doesn’t want to remember their happiest memories at a time where it might be her worst one.

Yoohyeon chuckles. Even if her eyes were jaded, that smile peaked through the windows of her soul. “I was exhausted, but you pulled me out of bed and drove an hour out. You held me as we stared into the sky.” Despite her diminishing health, she forces herself to talk. It’s something she wants. It’s something she needs.

Minji remembers that day. She doesn’t think she’ll ever forget the moment she finally confessed to Yoohyeon. Yoohyeon doesn’t have the energy to retell the story in detail, but Minji probably doesn’t need it.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Although faint, there’s a hint of mischief in her smile.

Thinking this is Yoohyeon’s way of lightening the mood, Minji plays along. “What’s that?”

It takes a moment for Yoohyeon to respond. Be it the fact that the adrenaline is no longer numbing out the pain or the reality of Yoohyeon digesting the idea of exposing the truth because she might not have the chance to do so at their wedding, the younger woman musters up some courage. “You were so upset about all the fog at the top of the mountain.”

Minji giggles out of embarrassment. “Yeah. You tried to make me feel better by saying you saw a shooting star.” She stares out the window. It was barely past noon. If only Minji could wish on a star, she’d pray for Yoohyeon’s safe recovery. “I know you were lying, but you were persistent that you saw it.”

Yoohyeon’s smile is so beautiful yet painful to witness. “You’re right, I didn’t see a shooting star that night.”

She pauses to catch her breath. When she closes her eyes, memories seem to flash in a span of seconds. Yoohyeon does see the day they actually went to see a meteor shower. She remembers wishing how she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Minji. Oh, how unfortunately short that time might end up being. It’s a shame she never got to give Minji the ring she bought considering how their apartment was blasted over like the rest of the neighborhood. Just like the star she bought, the ring was only a form of symbolism in their relationship, but it was better than nothing.

After a long period of silence, Minji caresses her. “Save your energy, Yoo.” She presses a gentle kiss on her forehead.

Rushing back into consciousness, Yoohyeon decides to push through. She opens her eyes. Minji’s face is full of concern. Yoohyeon wishes she could simply wipe away all of her worries, but knows that’s only possible if she were to stay alive, so she tries to stay positive. “Minji, I did see stars that night though.” She reaches towards her girlfriend to caress her cheek. Even if this memory may be short-lived, she wants to ingrain it in her heart along with the other ones that she’s collected throughout the years. They longingly stare into each other’s eyes. “That night, throughout university, through this apocalypse, right now, I still see those stars.”

Minji doesn’t understand Yoohyeon. She doesn’t understand how she can be so gentle and poetic and caring and romantic at a time like this. She doesn’t understand how through all this pain, she tries her best to rid someone else’s.

It breaks Minji’s heart even more.

She grabs Yoohyeon’s hand and gently kisses each knuckle. At a time like this, she wishes she could give Yoohyeon every romantic phrase every language could offer, but when words fail her she does her best expressing herself physically. “I love you.” It’s the best thing she could muster up without falling apart. It’s short and sweet and doesn’t measure up to how she’s feeling, but she knows it’s enough.

Yoohyeon continues, “Your eyes were the first thing I fell in love with. I liked a lot of things about you, but once you finally confessed to me, I allowed myself to dangerously fall in love with you. Your eyes were the first of many things.”

It’s the tip of Minji’s emotional iceberg. Tears break free past her ducts. They don’t go far though. Yoohyeon won’t allow it. She knows Minji hates when that happens. She does her best wiping her tears with her thumb.

Actually, she understands why Yoohyeon is like this.

Just like her, loving her girlfriend was easier than loving herself. Loving Minji was easier than fighting for her own life.

What she doesn’t know is that Yoohyeon has been brainstorming this speech for years. It’s a shame because Yoohyeon wanted to say this at the altar with Minji and all their friends, not while she was bleeding out in a dead friend’s car with two of Minji’s roommates. It’s the best she can do in this apocalypse and as long as said apocalypse is going to last, she’s going to keep wishing she could give Minji the better they deserved.

Minji grabs her hand and kisses each knuckle again, this time a little more slowly and one by one. Yoohyeon is saddened by the fact that she can’t feel the sensation anymore.

The adrenaline is definitely running low. A wave of exhaustion hits Yoohyeon and she’s not sure if she can fight it anymore. “I love you.” Yoohyeon blurts out.

This time, Minji can muster up some words. “I love you, too, Kim Yoohyeon. I love everything about you. I love everything we’ve shared, even this damn apocalypse. I’ll love you ‘til the end of time, even if that may be sooner than later, but you deserve to hear it.” She continues peppering Yoohyeon’s hands with kisses. The words are still not enough, but she knows she needs to say it.

It’s bittersweet. The words are comforting, yet dampen her spirits. At least she knows that Minji will always be there for her. “Hold me?” Even if it were to be the last time?

After staring into each other's eyes for a moment, Minji looks down to check on Yoohyeon’s wound. The most recent bandage has a small peak of blood, but nothing as bad as Yoohyeon's initial gash. A little cuddling doesn’t seem to hurt.

She unbuckles her seatbelt and shimmies closer to Yoohyeon. Not wanting to move Yoohyeon too much, she wraps an arm around Yoohyeon’s shoulders and pulls her close.

They stare at the unmoving tower. It’s not as sparkly as the stars Minji promised that fateful night and Hyunjung’s yelling isn’t as romantic as cicada chirps, but with the way Minji holds her close and whispers her profession of love to her, Yoohyeon falls just like the first time.

#something about apocalypses and confessions #sad but a guilty pleasure #didnt want to post considering whats happening in other fandoms but ive been wanting to post this for a week so i hope yall understand #need to rid some angst #apocalypse au #open ending for now #angst #littlepanduh #365 challenge #jiyoo #jiu #yoohyeon #dream catcher #dreamcatcher fanfic #kpop fanfiction #littlepanduh heartbroken era #blood cw

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