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libraryofgage · 10 months

Note

Please write for 42. Maybe it could be something dealing with Steve overhearing something he shouldn't have,maybe something the kids say, or Eddie says to someone. Whatever it is it makes him feel like shit. He talks to Eddie, or Robin (or both!) about how much he's changed over the past few years and how he didn't end up being the person everyone thought he'd be, but after what hes overheard he's crying because even though he did all he could he feels lonelier than ever.

Anon, I love you

Prompt 42 for this prompt list!

“Who’s laughing now?”

“…Clearly not you. You’re crying, dear God.”

I didn't use these quotes exactly, but I came close. It still fits them, though lmao

---

"I should be right back," Steve says, throwing open the van door before hopping out. The moment it closes, Eddie blasts the heavy metal he usually can't because of Steve's sensitive ears. Steve snorts with amusement and heads towards the diner, the smell of fried food and grilling beef overwhelming him the moment he opens the door.

Steve heads up to the counter, flashing a charming smile at Paula, a woman who's been working at the diner longer than Steve has been alive. "We got your usual almost ready, sugar," she tells him, returning the smile as she grabs a receipt from the turning rack and leads him over to the register.

It's a Friday night, which means the diner is bursting with teenagers hanging out in groups or trying to have a romantic date. Steve doesn't usually see anyone he feels like greeting when he picks up food, but a quick sweep this time reveals a table where Jonathan, Argyle, Nancy, Mike, and Will are sitting. Their table is close to the bar, but none of them seem to have noticed Steve because of their conversation, which is just fine with him.

If he gets dragged into a conversation, he might take too long and make Eddie worry. And if Eddie worries, he'll come bursting into the diner, and there are too many people in here that still blame him for...well, everything, for that to be safe.

"Your total is gonna be $12.93," Paula says, watching as Steve distractedly pulls a twenty from his wallet.

"Keep the change. I'll be waiting over there," he says, nodding to a bar stool somewhat close to where his friends are sitting. He then slides into said stool, leaning on the counter and trying to ignore how sticky it is.

He's close enough now to hear the tail-end of Argyle saying, "--eems like such a nice dude, though."

Mike snorts at him. "You didn't know Steve when he was dating Nancy," he points out.

Oh. They're...talking about him. Steve gets the feeling he should walk away, but he also feels stuck in the stool.

"He wasn't that bad," Nancy says. Silence follows her words, and Steve can imagine the looks she's getting. "Okay, yeah, he was an asshole."

"He smashed my camera," Jonathan says, and Steve wonders if he's imagining a trace of bitterness in his voice.

Here's the thing: Steve apologized for smashing the camera (though, he feels it was still justified) and got Jonathan a new one. A fancy, new one. But it doesn't sound like Jonathan is going to include that detail, too.

"He's a lot better now, though," Will says, and Steve wants to get him a new set of dice for trying to stick up for him.

He then wants to cry and maybe break something when he hears Jonathan and Mike snort and bark out a short laugh.

Steve feels himself grow tense as Nancy and Jonathan regale Argyle with how shitty he was in high school. He keeps waiting for one of the kids to refute or bring up how he's changed, but Mike only adds to it all while Will stays quiet, probably unwilling to get himself laughed at again (not that Steve blames him, honestly).

None of them actually point out how Steve's changed. They laugh at how much of a douchebag he was in high school, and Jonathan tells Argyle to "watch out for King Steve coming through" now that nothing is trying to kill them again.

And Steve feels sick to his stomach. Has...has he not actually changed? Is he really the same King Steve he was in high school? Is he still that asshole who didn't give a shit about others because he was just trying to survive himself, no matter who it hurt? Is this how everyone sees him?

"All right, sugar. Here's your cheeseburgers," Paula says, placing a bag in front of him and jerking him out of his thoughts. "One without tomato but with extra ketchup, and the other with grilled onions."

Steve blinks and smiles at Paula again. "Thanks. Same time next week?"

He waits to see Paula's amused smile and playfully dismissive wave before grabbing the bag and practically running out of the restaurant. He doesn't know if it's good or bad that nobody at the table seems to have noticed his presence or departure.

Steve jerks the door to the van open, not waiting for Eddie to turn the music down before hopping in and slamming it shut. He silently pulls on his seatbelt, holds the food in his lap, and stares at the glove compartment.

"Uh, you okay, Stevie?" Eddie asks, his hand lingering on the volume dial.

"I don't wanna talk about it here," Steve says. Because he's going to talk about it with Eddie, the only other person he trusts to be honest with him is Robin. But this is date night for him and Eddie, and even when he's drowning in self-doubt, Steve doesn't want anyone else to interrupt their date night.

Thankfully, Eddie just nods. "Okay, sweetheart," he says, pulling out of the parking lot and onto the road.

Steve doesn't say a word the whole drive, too consumed by forcing himself to focus on Eddie's hand on his thigh. There's a warmth that he feels through the fabric, grounding him and keeping his brain from spiraling too far.

When they finally park (a secluded area close enough to the local make-out spot to still see the romantic stars in the sky without getting caught by anyone else) Eddie turns to Steve and softly asks, "Wanna move to the back, sweetheart?"

Steve grips the bag in his lap tighter, takes a deep breath, and looks at Eddie. He feels a little bad for ignoring the question, but he can't help his worries and fears bubbling out now that they've stopped driving. "I've changed, right? Since high school?"

Eddie blinks, caught off guard by the sudden question. But then he nods. "Yeah, Stevie, you've definitely changed."

"Jonathan and Nancy were in the diner with Argyle, Mike, and Will," Steve says, trying and failing to seem more nonchalant by unbuckling himself and moving to the couch that barely fits in the back of the van. Eddie follows, sitting closer than necessary to eat the burger Steve hands to him. "They were...talking about me. High school me. King Steve. And Jonathan told Argyle to be wary of me. Do they really think I'm the same person?"

"Stevie-"

Steve doesn't let Eddie get far. He's too wrapped up in what happened, too consumed by self-doubt and guilt and the wish that he'd said something to them. His chest feels tight, he feels like the world is going to cave in on him, and the only thing keeping him steady is the way Eddie puts down his burger and pulls Steve into his lap. "And the worst part is that they were laughing. Will tried saying that I was better now, and they fucking laughed. Like it was ridiculous. Like I could never change.

"And I just....I wish I'd said something. I could have ruined their night so fucking easily, Eds. I could have turned around and asked if they always talked shit behind the backs of people who saved them. I could have asked if Jonathan didn't like the replacement camera I got him, or if he still used it to sneak photos of Nancy."

"Is that why you broke his camera? Fuck, I don't blame you."

Steve manages a slight smile for Eddie. "Thanks. I...I don't know. For all I've changed, it would have been so easy to just turn around and be who they thought I still was. And then I would've torn them down to the size of ants. And...and...I wish I had but I don't but I do, so I could've ended it with who's laughing now?"

Steve's chest feels a little looser, and that's a fucking relief, but then he feels Eddie's hand cradling his cheek. "Well, it's definitely not you, sweetheart. Your crying."

Oh. Eddie is right. He is crying. Steve hastily wipes at the tears before just giving up and leaning into Eddie's touch. "Sorry," he mumbles.

"Don't apologize. I almost wish you had done it. And that I'd been there to see it."

"No, you don’t."

Eddie grins, pulling Steve closer so they're chest-to-chest, heart-to-heart. "Yeah, I do. I love when you get bitchy, sweetheart. Especially when it means we can be bitchy together."

Steve blinks, and he can't help laughing. The words were simple, but they still managed to erase all the doubt and some of the hurt. He still probably needs a few days before he can actually look at Jonathan or Nancy or Mike again, but he doesn't feel so immediately devastated.

"Somehow, that was the perfect thing to say," he tells Eddie, closing the distance between them to kiss his lips, getting a hint of ketchup on his tongue.

"Perfect enough to earn me some fun?" Eddie asks, wiggling his eyebrows playfully.

Steve sighs dramatically, pretends to think about it as he actually laments that their burgers will get cold, and then pushes Eddie down on the couch.

#steddie #steddie fic #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve harrington angst #steddie fluff #established steddie #prompt list #my writing #i hope you like it anon!

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taki-yaki · 3 months

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I’ve got a prompt idea. Maybe this Tav is a natural mind reader, even before the tadpole, so she immediately knows Astarion is a vampire who’s terrified of being hunted down. Since I’m a sucker for protective Tav, maybe she keeps his secret for as long as possible, or secretly helping him find some wildlife when his hunger gets worse…

Oooh, I like the idea of this. I will take some notes from the Aberrant Mind Sorcerer subclass and the great old one Warlock subclass, which does have telepathy-themed spells and feats.

Astarion x Mind Reader Tav Headcanons

For as long as you can remember, you were gifted with telepathy, allowing you to read other people’s thoughts through a simple glance. You tried to keep this skill hidden from others, in the fear of what others would do to you if they ever discovered your gift, making yourself somewhat of a loner, preferring the company of silence to others.

However, fate thought otherwise, by being abducted by the nautiloid with a mind flayer parasite being unceremoniously inserted into you, amplifying your abilities tenfold, now being able to just read surface-level thoughts undetected, without having to focus on a singular person at a time.

This, unfortunately, leads to accidentally learning too much about your new traveling companions, with private thoughts now being picked up on, from Shadowheart and Laezel’s constant bickering being transmitted constantly to you, to Gale’s seemly never-ending thoughts leading you to have constant headaches whenever he goes off on a theory of his.

However, when you brush minds with Astarion, you quickly discover that he’s a vampire, a blood-sucking beast of the night. Seemly able to walk in the sun unharmed, thanks in part to the tadpole.

Every night at camp, you try to keep a close eye on his thoughts in an attempt to focus on what his intentions are with you.

Most of his surface-level thoughts range from either commenting on others' fashion choices, to practising his latest lines he wants to perform.

“Is Gale wearing new boots? They’d look better on me than him.”

“Hmm Laezel, sharp as a blade but sweet as a… no that won’t do.”

But something seemed to lie deeper, fear. Fear of what the others would do upon discovering your secret, knowing that you are more fiend than friend. It reminds you of your past self, wanting to hide from the world. Besides he doesn’t want to harm anyone, but just wants to survive like you.

In an attempt to help him out, you try to discreetly hunt out and weaken boars to take back to camp and cook, in hopes that he can use the opportunity to drain the creature before the others get suspicious of his night treks into the woods.

Although this doesn’t last all too long before someone figures out he’s a vampire, you try to defend him, acting as if you are entirely clueless, much to Gale’s annoyance.

Eventually, others at camp notice how you stare at Astarion so often at camp, which makes them think you have fallen head over heels for him.

“Aww Tav are you eyeing up fangs again?” Karlach shouted at you from behind.

This inflates his ego quite a bit, “Well, of course, I mean look at me”. This leads to him thinking you’ve fallen head over heels for him in his mind. Constantly thinking of ways to charm you in his head, causing you to turn your head away to stop reading his mind to avoid you from melting on the spot in embarrassment.

Despite your companion's comments, you’re always by his side, whenever you feel his saddest or fear you are there ready to comfort him.

One night, he jokes to you, “You know darling, you always seem to know when to be in the right place at the right time. It’s as if you can read minds, even without that worm in your pretty head.”

At that moment, it felt like time slowed down, did he know, were you being too obvious, what if he doesn’t want to talk to me ever again? What if-

A cold hand touched your chin, “Darling, are you alright? You looked leagues away then”

“Was it something I said? I only joked if that you could read minds, wait-”

Opening his mouth “Can you read minds?”

Turning to meet his ruby eyes, all you can do is silently nod. You wait with baited breath for him to yell out at you, or just get up and leave. But he doesn’t, instead giving you a tooth grin, excited by the prospect.

Ever since then, every day he asks you non-stop, for either the latest gossip from others in camp or teasing you by thinking of all the inappropriate things he’ll do to you, when you are talking to others, to just simple things by stating how beautiful you look today. Eventually, the others catch on to your abilities since Astarion couldn’t keep his mouth shut for all too long and explained the constant silent staring.

Despite his relentless teasing, you still use your powers to check if anyone had any nefarious intentions with Astarion, ever since the meeting with the Gur you want to protect him from anyone who could be a spy for Cazador. For all the work you put in to ensure his safety, he tries to repay you, through other means.

Going around camp to make sure that Shadowheart and Lae’zel stop their squabbles, to Gale’s overthinking. At times if it gets to be too much for you, he’ll take you away from camp to try and give you peace of mind. He even offers you tadpole elixirs to try and reduce the constant stream of thoughts from making your head explode, especially when you reach Baldur’s Gate.

After the tadpole is gone, it takes time for you to adjust back to your usual abilities, having to relearn them. You and Astarion decide to settle down somewhere quiet in the countryside, away from busy buzzing minds. Both of you seem to have quite a bit to relearn, from his spider climb abilities and regenerative healing to your telepathy. But this time you’re not alone, you have someone who isn’t afraid of what you are and accepts you for being you.

#astarion x tav #astarion x reader #astarion x durge #astarion x dark urge #hope you like in anon it did try to get a bit of balance between some fluff and slight angst #bg3 #bg3 astarion #astarion headcanons #I had fun writing this #i hope you like it anon #I tried to get a balance between fluff and slight angst

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yuanology · 10 months

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I came running as fast as I could , so geto with 19 and/ or 30, I’m thinking on a fwb or do whatever you want you honestly could do whatever and I’ll still like it 💪🐸

as much as geto suguru hates to admit it, he finds the lines blurring between the two of you.

being friends with benefits with you was a mistake to begin with. you aren't the type of person to give anyone your heart, and he's the type of person to throw too much of himself into everything he does. it's a match made in hell, but how can he deny himself when he has been yearning for you since the moment he saw you?

geto suguru wants you in every way he can have you, even if it means he has to lose himself in the process. (he'll gladly lose himself to you a hundred times over if it means that you'll keep on touching him, keep on loving him the way you do, keep on staying.)

"c'mon." his whines are low, rattling through his ribs. he wiggles his hips, trying to properly shove your fingers into his ass, but you keep the pads of your thumb pressed flatly against his hole; just resting there, not pushing in. teasing him. "you're not playing fair."

you only chuckle in his misery. "relax, suguru," comes your smooth, unbothered voice. you dipped your thumb into his hole, finally penetrating his hole.

however, when he realised that he wasn't going to get anything beyond just the tip of your finger, he let out an impatient whimper. he wasn't usually the type of person to beg for more, mostly because you liked giving him everything. to have you dangle something he wanted from you so desperately right in front of him was torture.

you must have reached the same conclusion because you pulled out and pulled away. he let out another long whine, one full of so much want and torture that it made his chest and ears flush. past his burning embarrassment, he could hear your laughter, the sound of the smile in your voice when you ask him, "what do you want, suguru?"

sugurusugurusuguru. it had taken him so long to make you say his given name out loud, but all of it was worth it with the way you said his name so often now.

he bows his head, his forehead meeting the pillow. a whimper escaped him, pathetic and starved. he wants to feel you, wants your touch all over him, wants anything you're willing to give him.

"want you," he slurs, voice wrecked in his desperation to feel you. "make me yours."

he distantly hears the sound of your laughter, soft and melodious, and he couldn't breathe. you're so close but not close enough. he wants you, so so much that his entire being aches with it.

then you're draped over him, chest pressing against back, and suguru is already tilting your head to greedily meet your kiss. he drinks in the taste of your smile, the sweetness of your mischief.

"okay, suguru," you murmur against his lips. "i'll make you mine."

yoursyoursyours. always yours.

thank you for your request & for your support! i love seeing your frog emoji in my asks lol. i appreciate seeing you around :) also, this gave me a massive friends with benefits with geto suguru brainrot so if you see fwb!suguru posts in the future, know that this is all your doing.

#i hope everyone knows this could've been angst #but i decided to make it fluff instead #hope you like this frog anon <3 #geto suguru x reader #sub geto suguru #sub jjk #top reader #dom reader #( thirsts. )#( event. )

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l8rs-gat0rs · 1 year

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we all saw how Steven was just entranced by Layla in the show 😭 so could you do a fic where he emotionally cheats on the reader, so when she finds out and confronts him he’s on his hands and knees begging her not to leave him, but she’s over him and leaves the apartment.

That’s all I got, you can’t choose the ending if you want

(Feel free to ignore if you’re not comfortable writing this)

The Mind Wanders

Pairing: Steven Grant x Reader

TW: Not completely sure, but the subject matter may trigger some people so I'm putting a warning in case because writing this fic did bring up shitty memories from a past toxic relationship.

(But pls don't feel bad abt requesting this anon, I loved writing it! It was so fun to create a story around your request, it really flexed my creative muscles to create a story with emotional depth like this. Also, I kinda played with the prompt a lil' bit, so she doesn't "find out" she knows, but she's in denial. I hope you're okay with that!)

Warning(s): ANGST. Emotional cheating, heartwarming fluff to cure your angsty pain <3 , Set in an AU before the events of the show, Third person, very minimal y/n use. Steven's redemption arc is told through his own POV.

Summary: you find out Steven's mind has been wandering. He's become quite entranced with another woman, and you won't stand for it. After you leave, Steven is determined to do anything, and everything to regain your trust.

Word count: 6.2k

Thank you, Anon for this request!!! <3

And credits to my dear friend Lina for helping me with this fic, and also being my proofreader. I had a little roadblock but she gave me amazing ideas for Steven's redemption arc :) her brain is amazing.

~~~~~~Enjoy!~~~~~~

You've been dating Steven long enough.

Long enough to know his tells.

Long enough to know he was lying when he said Layla was "just a friend" to him.

And that's how you got to where you are right now. Sitting at a bar downtown, drinking your feelings away.

Earlier...

You and Steven were at a coffee shop for a late afternoon coffee and tea that you suggested, just to get out of the house for a little. He was currently talking about the cutest kid that had shown up at his work.

"She was quite literally dressed as Sekhmet, and she was telling me about how she wanted to be a doctor!" Steven explained animatedly.

You smiled at the thought.

"She was absolutely adorable, I'll tell you that." He said before taking a sip of his tea.

"Yeah I'll bet she was," you chuckled.

Suddenly the bell on the coffee shop door rang and you noticed Steven immediately became attentive and sat straight up, staring at the person who just walked in.

Confused, you turned to see who it was and your face quickly turned emotionless with a hard stare. You turned back to Steven after seeing who it was.

"H-Hey, Layla!" Steven said, calling out to her name and waving.

Layla's head turned and her eyes lit up as she noticed Steven, promoted to make her way to our table.

"Oh, hey Steven!" she said with a bright smile.

You watched Steven's face, he gave her a crooked smile and blush painted his cheeks.

When Layla noticed you, she smiled kindly and greeted you as well, "Hi y/n".

You eyed Steven’s fiddling fingers, nearly forgetting to answer, doing your best to chalk his behavior up to the crowded atmosphere.

"Hey Layla" you replied, making sure to perfectly hide your discomposed state behind a small smile.

"What brings you here Layla?" Steven asked.

"I was just in the neighborhood for some archeology stuff and I saw this place, so I thought I'd stop in and grab some coffee," she explained.

"Interesting, what kind of archeology stuff?" Steven asked, looking at her as if she was the goddess Isis herself.

"Well, there were some old Egyptian artifacts recently dug up at a cemetery, so they've called for me to take them and bring them back to Egypt." She seemed excited about her task.

Steven, on the other hand, looked like someone had just kicked a puppy in front of him.

You felt like grabbing him and running out of the store with him, but of course, that would be childish, so you kept your mouth shut.

"Wait, you're going to Egypt? For how long?" Steven asked with a frown.

"A week." she said.

"Well, when are you leaving?" Steven asked, his disappointment showing through even as he tried to hide it.

"I've got a flight this Saturday actually, gotta take that Sunday to recover from the flight" she laughed.

Before Steven could say anything else, because he practically looked like he was about to beg her to take him with her, you spoke up.

"Wow, Layla that's so great! I'm really excited for you, I know you love Egypt." you said supportively.

She smiled gratefully.

"I love Egypt too!" Steven interjected, causing your jaw to clench.

Layla giggled, causing Steven to look like he just won the jackpot.

"Yeah, I do love Egypt, I'm glad to be going back. Thanks y/n" she said kindly.

You nodded in acknowledgment, your jaw still locked, afraid that if you opened your mouth your emotions would blow up at Steven.

"Well I've got to go, but it was nice to see you both, I'll see you around," she waved at both of you before getting in line to order her coffee.

You both waved back, Steven admittedly way more animated than you, watching Layla go to the counter to order her coffee.

"Oh she's just the best isn't she? Wow, Egypt!" He exclaimed, turning back to his tea.

"Yeah, it's really cool." you said half-heartedly.

But of course, Steven didn't seem to notice anything was wrong at all, and he continued to talk about Egypt and Layla the rest of the time you were there.

You didn't hate Layla, you knew it wasn't her fault that Steven seemed to be entranced by her. Hell, she seemed as oblivious to Steven's feelings as he was to yours.

Steven had met Layla last month, when she was visiting the museum he worked at, checking out the artifacts in the ancient Egyptian exhibit. Steven introduced her to you that very same day and it didn't bother you at first, how much he talked about her. You knew he was just happy he found someone who shared his interest in ancient Egypt, you were even happy for him. On the rare occasion you three hung out, she was a great friend to you as well. But then you started to see the signs.

The way he would have stars in his eyes when he talked to her, or even about her. The way that whenever he looked at her, he looked at her like she was the only person on earth. When he listened to her speak, he was hanging onto every single word she said.

He never explicitly cheated, of course, Steven would never do that, he wouldn't even hurt a fly. At least not with intention.

He was still charming towards you and the two of you acted like a couple. There was never anything wrong, even physically.

But whenever Layla came into the mix, you became a third wheel.

The two of you left the coffee shop eventually, the sun was setting and there was a chill of winter breeze though the streets of London.

You walked together back to Steven's flat, which you had been living in for around two months now.

You smiled fondly as Steven talked in the background while you remembered the day he asked you to move in with him. It was on your 10-month anniversary, he had been so nervous he was practically shaking. You remember thinking it was a bit fast to move in, but then again,

It was Steven.

so of course you said yes.

He was still your Steven. You turned to him and smiled as he glanced at you, holding your hand with the cutest smile on his face.

The two of you took the elevator up to his flat and you entered together, Steven closing the door behind you, and locking it.

"So what would you like for dinner, lovely?" He asked, pressing a kiss to your cheek before moving to the kitchen.

"Hmmm, I don't know, surprise me." You said teasingly.

"Will do, one special surprise dinner coming right up!" Steven said excitedly, getting to work in the kitchen.

You giggled at how adorable he was as you hung your scarf up with your coat.

"Sit down and relax, I'll do all the work, don't you worry!" Steven moved, putting a pot of water on the stove to boil.

"Alright Mr.Grant, I'll be waiting right here on the couch." You smiled, taking your shoes off and plopping down on the couch.

He looked at you with a huge smile before turning back to grab some things out of the fridge.

You smiled and turned on Netflix to watch your current favorite show.

About 1 episode in, Steven was finally finished with dinner.

"Alright, your special surprise dinner is ready!" He called, waving you over with his hand.

"Ooooo let's see what we have here" you wiggled your fingers after getting up from the couch and turning the tv off.

"Et Voilà!" Steven presented the plates to you.

"Wowww! Spaghetti and meatballs, real fancy!" You mockingly made fun.

"Yeah, but I bet it's the best spaghetti and meatballs you'll ever taste!" He chided.

"Well I'll be the judge of that." You joked, walking toward the table that was by the stove.

Steven moved to sit across from you. He watched you carefully as you got a slice of meatball before wrapping the spaghetti around the fork and bringing it to your mouth.

You chewed in silence for a little bit, hiding your reaction to how good it tasted.

"So? How is it?" Steven asked nervously.

"Mmmm" you looked up at the ceiling, finger to your chin, pretending to think.

He looked at you with hopeful eyes and you couldn't help the smile that broke your insightful thinking face.

"Steven, it's absolutely delicious." You said with a cheeky smile.

His face lit up into a wondrous smile and your heart melted.

"Wow, I'm so glad you like it!" He said before digging into his own plate.

The two of you continued dinner with some light small talk in between bites until you heard Steven's phone ding with a text notification.

You immediately recognized the different text tone and your soft smile disappeared as Steven immediately stuck his hand in his pocket and fetched his phone out.

He unlocked it and his eyes grew into big circles and he smiled.

"Wow Layla just sent me a picture of a gold scarab beetle that was found at the cemetery!" Steven excitedly texted Layla back.

You stared at him in silence as you watched him grinning, followed by a chuckle, and more texting.

Your eyes glanced at his half eaten plate of food and your rage started to boil over.

You couldn't take it anymore.

You threw your fork onto your plate, the silverware clanging loudly, causing Steven to jump and stare at you with wide eyes and a frown.

"Love?" He asked softly as he watched your face cautiously.

"Steven, I can't do this anymore." You told him seriously.

"Do what?" He asked, alarm quickly spreading across his features.

"This. With you. Us." You said.

"Wha- Why!?" He exclaimed.

"Steven, you don't see me! I'm right here, and you can't even see me!" You yelled exasperatedly.

"What do you mean!? I see you!" He said, desperately trying to understand what you meant.

He reached for your hand but you swiped it away from him and got up from the table abruptly.

Steven flinched before standing as well.

"No you don't Steven. All you see is Layla." You said bitterly.

Tears burned your eyes as they threatened to spill, the words you had been thinking for months finally coming out of your mouth, and you held back those hot angry tears as you listened to them as if you were outside of your own body.

"Wha- I- no!" Steven denied, stuttering between you and his phone.

"Yes you do. I'm sitting here eating dinner with you and you're texting Layla. We're at the coffee shop, you see Layla, and she's all you can talk about. We could be having a random conversation, and you will bring up Layla!" You let out in frustration.

He stared at you dumbly and that made you even more angry.

You made your way to the door quickly, when Steven tried to grab your hand, you looked at him with a deadly stare and he took a firm hold on your arm.

"Let. Go. Of. Me." You said sharply.

"Lovey, please. You're making a mistake!" He begged.

You snatched your arm out of his hands and glared at him.

"Trust me I'm not, and don't fucking call me that anymore. I'm not going to stay in a relationship that I'm not appreciated in. You're already acting like you're dating Layla, so you might as well make it official." Your words laced with venom.

Steven flinched again and you continued,

"I tried to ignore it for so long, but I can't ignore it any longer Steven. I can't ignore the fact that you make me feel invisible!" You vocalized your rage, causing your words to crack near the end. You turned on your heel, putting your jacket and scarf on.

"Y/n please!" Steven sobbed, and you turned around, shocked to see him on his hands and knees.

"Steven get up!" You exclaimed.

No matter how angry you were at him, it broke your heart seeing him like this.

He sat up onto his knees and put his hands into the prayer position, looking up at you with tears in his eyes.

"Please don't go! Please, I promise Layla is just a friend! Y/n please, I need you, I-I can't lose you!" He begged through his tears.

Your heart felt like it was shattering into a million pieces.

You turned back around, no longer able to look at him and you reached your hand out, gripping the door handle.

"No! No no no no y/n please don't go! Give me one more chance! I'll be better!" Steven said, fully sobbing at this point.

You gripped the door handle tighter and shut your eyes tightly without giving another glance, only able to think of all the times Steven had made you feel less important than Layla.

You opened your eyes as you opened the door, hearing his sobs, pleas, and shuddering breaths grow louder.

"I'm sorry Steven, but we're over." You said coldly before you walked out the door, slamming it behind you.

You quickly sped down the hallway and got into the elevator.

When the door closed your fully tensed body sagged and you held your head in your hands and sighed deeply.

You wiped your face before opening the Uber app and calling a car.

Presently...

So yeah. That's why you're currently on your 4th drink, looking down into your cup as if it was the most interesting thing on the planet.

Your mind wandered back to Steven, the imagine of him begging you not to leave while on his hands and his knees.

You shut your eyes painfully and shook your head.

There was a time where you believed that Steven could never hurt you. His warm, innocent eyes and gentle, nervous touches made you feel safe.

You opened your eyes and scoffed at your foolishness.

He had just been too good to be true, and you should have seen it.

You glanced at your phone,

Dammit it was getting late, but your stuff was at Steven's apartment, and there was no way in hell you were going back there.

Your eyes lit up as you remembered you kept some stuff over at your best friends Rachel and Chloe's house due to your frequent sleepovers.

You went into your contacts and dialed Chloe's number.

"Hey babes, It's been a while!" Chloe said when she picked up.

You smiled softly at the sound of her Glaswegian accent through the phone.

"Hey chlo' do you think I can stay with you and Rae for a little bit?" You said sadly, embarrassed to even be asking.

"Of course love! RAE! GET THE GUEST ROOM READY, Y/N IS STAYING OVER!" You heard her scream.

"Thanks so much Chloe" you chuckled.

"Of course, you're always welcome here!" She exclaimed.

"And one more thing?" You whispered sheepishly.

"Sure," she said, egging you on to continue speaking.

"Can you come pick me up from the bar downtown that we usually go to? I'm kiiiiinda drunk." You asked, apologetic.

"Oh god, we'll be there in 5" Chloe replied before hanging up.

You snorted and let your head fall against the bar, waiting for them to come pick you up.

You lifted your head for a second to pay and tip the bartender, before you laid your head back down after letting the bartender know you were waiting for your friends to come pick you up.

He took your money, thanked you for the tip, and nodded in acknowledgement, telling you to get home safe then moved on to serve another customer.

Chloe and Rae texted you when they arrived in front of the bar and you stumbled out.

You opened the door, and collapsed into the seat before shutting the door behind you.

You threw your head back and groaned.

"Jesus you look like absolute shit." Rae said, turning around in her seat to look at you.

"Did something happen with Steven?" Chloe asked, acknowledging you through the rear view mirror.

"Just drive," you groaned.

You told them what had happened with Steven during the car ride and they listened sympathetically.

"I told you to break up with him sooner, he's a proper bag of shit." Rae said.

You shook your head and sighed, going quiet for the rest of the ride. Your friends respected your silence.

When you got to their house, they brought you to your room and you noticed they left you a fresh set of clean pajamas to wear.

"God, I love you guys!" You yelled through the door.

"Yup!" You heard Chloe say and you giggled before changing your clothes.

When you came out of the room you saw 3 small tubs of ice cream with 3 different colored spoons in them on the coffee table in front of the tv, Chloe and Rae beacons you over to the couch.

You plopped down in between them and pulled them into a group hug.

"I fuckin love you guys, you know that right?" You said sincerely.

"Yeah we know." Rae teased, causing the three of you to chuckle.

"Now what are we watching!" Chloe announced once the three of you pulled away from the hug.

....

The next couple of days were rough, but you got through them. You had gone back to Steven's apartment while he was at work and gathered some clothes and your important things. You'd come back for the other stuff later.

Steven surprisingly did not try to contact you but you did notice his flat seemed to be even more messy than usual. You also noted the several crumpled-up sheets of paper that you were pretty sure you knew the contents of. You shook your head sadly, trying not to feel bad for him. He was the one who hurt you, and the best thing for you now was to just move on and heal from it.

You grabbed your car keys, locked the door behind you and picked the boxes up before taking them back into your car, driving back to your temporary residence.

You silently cursed yourself for selling your old flat, but you couldn't keep paying rent for a place you didn't even live at. You thought you and Steven were in it for the long haul.

You got back to Chloe and Rae's place and brought the boxes to your room.

You sat on your bed with a sigh and started unpacking.

Steven's Pov

Steven walked into his flat and sighed at its emptiness. He missed seeing you smile at him and get up from your laptop to greet him and give him a kiss.

It had been approximately a week since you had stormed out of his apartment. He removed his coat and after placing his work bag down, he paused for a second to look around before he realized...

You had been here while he was at work, and took most of your stuff with you.

Tears started to well up in his eyes once again.

He took his shoes off and walked over to his bed with his shoulders sagged, then stepped over the ring of sand so he could lay down.

He remembered the first time you came to his apartment. He had thought of so many excuses to tell you when you would inevitably ask about the sand around his bed, as well as the ankle restraint.

When you finally set foot into his apartment, he went into full panic mode and started a word vomit.

You had stopped him before his head exploded and said you didn't care about anything weird he did because it didn't define him. You didn't care if he had a sleeping condition, or if there were books covering every possible surface of his flat. You promised him that day, you would never judge him.

He stared at his ceiling as the tears rolled down the side of his eyes and into his hairline.

You had always seen him, and you had made him feel that way.

Seen.

He thought back to what you said the day you left:

"Steven, you don't see me! I'm right here, and you can't even see me!"

His eyes were blurry as more tears welled up.

He hated himself for making you feel that way, he couldn't believe he didn't see he was hurting you.

He scoffed at himself,

it's been a week and he's still crying over you.

He sat up, wiping his eyes.

He looked around again and remembered the whole week it had taken for you and Steven to clean up his flat so it could be in the state that it was currently in.

You had told him to stop apologizing over 50 times as the two of you organized all his books so they were no longer scattered over every surface.

You had done so much for Steven without him ever even asking.

His heart ached as he glanced at the empty space in his bed where you used to sleep, right next to him every night.

He hadn't bothered to contact you in fear of you blocking him.

His phone buzzed and he quickly checked it desperately to see if you texted him.

It was Layla.

He frowned and put his phone back down, not bothering to check her text.

He hadn't meant to make it seem like he was interested in Layla, she was just the first person he ever met that shared his interest in the things he was most passionate about.

You didn't happen to be as passionate, but you also shared Steven's interests in Ancient Egyptian mythology. In fact that was how the two of you met, at the museum.

Almost the same exact way as how he met Layla.

His heart felt heavy, here he was, comparing the two of you. He was such a bloody knob.

You deserved so much better.

He could be better.

He furrowed his brows,

but how was he supposed to tell you or show you that?

He had no clue where you were even staying because he remembered you told him you sold your flat after you moved in with him.

Guilt wracked his whole body.

He thought hard about hotels in the area-

Wait.

Your best friends!

Steven grabbed his phone and checked his texts between the two of you.

He scrolled up until he saw you mention them, you had asked him to pick you up from their house when you were drunk.

He blushed heavily as he remembered what happened that night after he picked you up.

There, you had sent him the address!

He copied the address from your text and input it into his GPS.

You were staying only a couple miles from him.

The next day, Steven put on his best button up and went to the shop. He bought a stuffed animal Paddington the bear since he remembered Paddington was your favorite movie, also the reason you moved to London. He also bought a small bag of your favorite chocolates.

As Steven made his way to your current residence at your friend's place, he kept going over what he planned to say to you.

When the Uber finally arrived he was shocked out of his thoughts when the driver announced they had arrived at his destination.

He thanked them and got out, grabbing the gifts and clutching them tightly as he stared at the house that you were hopefully in.

He felt sweaty but he was determined to show you he changed.

He made his way up to the house and gingerly knocked on the door.

One of your friends opened the door.

…Which one was this?

Right, Chloe!

"H-Hello Chloe, is y/n here?" He said looking past her, trying to see inside the house.

She glared at him and covered the open space with the door, blocking his view.

"No, she's not actually, and even if she was, she doesn't want to see you anymore, so don't come here again." She said, whispering angrily at him.

Steven frowned.

"Who's at the door Chlo'?" Steven heard the sound of your melodic voice hit Steven's ears and he perked up, his eyes widening.

"It's NO ONE, just a salesman," Chloe replied, making sure Steven knew he was not welcome.

"Don't come back here again Steven, or you'll regret it." she whisper-snapped to him again.

"Why'd you say 'no one' like that?" Steven heard you say before Chloe shut the door in his face.

Steven deflated and sighed.

He would have to think of something else.

Your pov

"Because, it was no one, now get back to writing, or whatever you're doing. That's what you do for your job right?" she said, dismissing you.

"Okay mom!" you relented, rolling your eyes.

She went to the bathroom to get ready for work, and you quickly put your laptop down and ran to the window to see who was at the door.

Your heart dropped to your stomach as you saw Steven, walking dejectedly down the street holding a teddy bear and what you could tell was a bag of your favorite chocolates.

Alright, maybe it was better Chloe didn't let you talk to him, what would you even say to him?

Even the thought of talking to Steven was too painful for you so you shoved it down and went back to writing.

....

A few days later, you were on your laptop getting some work done. You started to feel hungry, so you decided to grab a snack. Chloe and Rae were both at work, but they would be home in one-two hours, and you would all have dinner together.

Rae promised she was bringing home burgers and fries tonight so you didn't have to cook.

To say you were excited was an understatement.

You carefully gathered the ingredients to make yourself a quesadilla.

You hummed to your current favorite song that's been stuck in your head for a while now as you prepared your food.

Once you were done, you cleaned up after yourself and took your food to your bedroom to eat it. (Chloe and Rae didn't need to know)

You were sitting up against the headboard, scrolling through your phone when you heard a knock at the window.

Your heart was beating in your chest as you heard it again, more rapidly and you turned to look at the window.

There was a shadow of a person behind the curtain.

You slowly put your plate on the side table and grabbed scissors out of a jar with pencils and pens.

You held it in a stabbing position as you made your way towards the window slowly, terror gripping your heart, while the person on the other side rapidly banged their knuckles against the window.

You breathed in slowly and closed your eyes before opening them and quickly pulling the curtain away and raising the scissors in a stabbing motion.

Your eyes widened and you gasped as you saw Steven hanging on for dear life to the side ledges of the window.

You quickly dropped the scissors and opened the window.

"Steven what the fuck!? how did you even get up here?" you shouted, staring at him in shock.

"Well, I did climb up the pipeline but In retrospect that was a terrible idea once I got this far up to your window." he said, looking at you in fear.

He looked down at his feet trying to secure his footing but his foot slipped and he wobbled, his eyes going fully round.

"Oh shi-!" He said, losing his balance,

before he could fall backward your reflexes kicked in and you grabbed his arm pulling him inside your room, causing him to topple inside and on top of you.

You both stared at each other with wide eyes as he was on all fours, hands and legs on either side of your head and body.

Your breathing slowed and you found yourself getting lost in Steven's round puppy dog eyes as the shock wore off.

You suddenly became hyperaware of the position you were in and your body heated up as you started to blush heavily, you noticed the same happened to Steven.

"Oh, uhhh, lemme just-" you started rambling and shifting and he mumbled some words of an apology as he scrambled to get off of you.

Once you got up, you stood a couple steps away from Steven and stared at him as he took the backpack he was wearing off.

You just watched him silently as he took out the same stuffie of paddington and bag of chocolates from the other day.

He held them out to you and stared at you, silently pleading you to take them.

You did, placing them on your bed.

Steven shuffled nervously on his feet and you crossed your arms with furrowed brows.

"Steven, I just, I have so many questions." You said angrily.

He opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off.

"One, why are you here? Two, how did you even know this was my room? And three, how did you know I was even in here?" You asked, exasperatedly.

You could see from his face that a million different thoughts were running through his head before he spoke up.

"Okay, well, I'm here because I need to talk to you. I knew this was your room and you were in here because I came here another time. And I waited till Chloe and Rachel went to work so I could actually talk to you, then I tried to knock on the door but Chloe forgot her bag and came back so I hid, then l heard the two of you talking because the window was open and Chloe said "well, this is your room" and I knew you were in here today because I saw you close the curtains when I got here." He quickly jumbled all of his answers together.

"Oh, and I didn't come through the door because... well... I wanted to surprise you. You know, be all romantic and stuff." He added sheepishly.

You just stared at him appalled.

"A-And I know I probably sound insane!" he said quickly after seeing your reaction.

"Yeah, you do. And you need to leave Steven." You said pointedly.

"No y/n! you need to understand, I did this all for you! because I can't live without you!" he tried explaining desperately.

Your hardened expression softened a bit but you stayed quiet.

Steven looked relieved when he noticed you let him speak, and he cleared his throat to look at you.

"y/n I'm so sorry I hurt you and made you feel the way I did. I didn't mean to, honestly! I was just so excited when I met Layla because she was an archeologist and she was interested in ancient Egypt and she's passionate about it just like me. So excited that I might have been too blind to see how I was hurting you. I'm so sorry that I ever made you feel unseen. I could never love Layla like I love you. These past few weeks without you have been hell. The flat feels so cold and empty. I smell your perfume on the sheets but you're not there when I go to bed or wake up. Your smile used to make my whole world shine and it's been dark ever since you left. And I know you deserve way better than me, I was a total knob, but if you will have me back y/n, I promise, for the rest of my life, I will make it my mission, to make you feel happy every day, even on the worst days. And feel free to tell me to bugger off, I'll understand and I'll never contact you again I promise. You know, if you love someone let them go, and all that."

The whole time he spoke he was looking into your eyes until his last two sentences. He was hoping so desperately that you would hear, see, and feel the sincerity in his words. You could tell. Honestly, you were just surprised he didn't stutter that entire time. But you could tell by the fact that he couldn't look at you when he said it, how painful it was for him to think you could reject him.

Again, you had dated long enough,

Long enough to know his tells,

Long enough to know he was telling the truth about everything he told you just now.

And you knew he was willing to accept the fact that he could lose you.

For you.

He was still the same puppy-eyed man who came up behind you to explain the hieroglyphs on a pillar you were looking at, just to impress you.

He was still the man who apologized to his fish when he bumped into the tank.

He was still, your Steven.

you looked down and your feet and let out a small chuckle at your thoughts.

When you looked back up at Steven, you saw he was positively beaming.

"God I've missed that beautiful melody." He said softly, tears forming in his eyes.

You smiled, your own tears forming as he walked closer to you, slowly.

You smiled, two streaks running down your face as you noticed his tears fall from his eyes.

When he stood directly in front of you, he put one hand on your cheek and held it there. His touch was so fragile, as though he thought if he held you too hard, you might break.

"Can I hug you?" He asked softly.

You nodded and he wrapped his arms around you.

You reciprocated the hug, slowing your breathing, trying to control your tears.

Steven hurt you, and he realized his mistake, nearly too late. But here he was now. doing everything in his power to rectify his mistake, promising you that he would never make you feel that way ever again. Shit, he almost fell from the 2nd floor trying to apologize.

You squeezed him tighter, and he squeezed you back.

"Thank you Steven" you whispered.

When the two of you slowly pulled away from each other, your tears finally stopped, and so had Steven's.

He wiped your tears away gently.

"Don't thank me y/n, I shouldn't have given myself a reason to apologize in the first place." He said with his hands still cupping your face.

After a beat of silence, he finally spoke up.

"So does this mean you'll move back in with me?" Steven asked hopefully.

You laughed, causing a smile to spread across Steven's face.

"Just shut up and kiss me." grabbing his face, you pressed your lips to his.

He gladly shut up and kissed you back, melting into you, you even felt his body press closer to you. You felt the dried tears on his cheeks against your face.

When you pulled away, you were both slightly panting for air, and Steven pressed his forehead to yours, holding your hands in his.

You both closed your eyes and stayed like that for a while.

When the two of you pulled away from each other you turned, looking at the things he bought you.

You held his hand and led him to your bed, sitting down next to them.

You picked up the bear and smiled at it.

"You remembered how much I love Paddington." you said, turning to look at him.

He smiled fondly at you and nodded.

"The little bear that brought you to me."

Your heart practically melted.

You put the Paddington bear down and picked up the bag of chocolates.

"And you remembered my favorite" you grinned at him, holding up the bag.

"Of course, I can never forget the beautiful noises you make every time you eat one of those." he said, blushing immediately after he said it.

"You felt your face heat up as well and you hid your face in your hands, smiling sheepishly.

You felt his hands gently grab your hands to move them away from your face.

You felt yourself get lost in Steven's eyes, the color of them matching your favorite chocolate. Reminding you that coincidentally, Steven had the power to make those same noises come from your mouth.

You were so close you could feel Steven's breath on your lips.

Suddenly you heard the door open and you both jumped back from each other.

"y/n!!!" you heard Chloe call your name, dragging it out.

"We're home! and we bought the food!" you heard Rae say excitedly.

"Shit!" you jumped up from the bed, causing Steven to the same.

"Okay, okay uhhhhh" you said quickly looking around.

"I'll talk to them first, so they don't jump you, and then I'll call you downstairs, okay?" you said quickly with your hands on his shoulders.

"Okay, I got it." Steven nodded.

"Alright great" you said rushing to open the door.

"Y/n!" Steven whisper-yelled your name causing you to pause and turn around.

"Yeah?" you whisper-yelled back.

"I love you." He reminded with a small smile.

You almost physically melted at his cuteness.

"I love you too."

You closed the door softly as you heard Chloe call your name again as she looked for you.

“Coming!”

#steven grant x you #steven grant #moon knight fanfic #layla el faouly #steven grant x y/n #steven grant x reader #fluff #angst!!!#lots of emotions tbh #Sorry this took so long anon!#I hope you like it!#My longest fic ever actually #anon #fanfic request #fanfiction #fanfic #oscar isaac fanfiction #oscar isaac characters #ugh this was so fun to write

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dont-f-with-moogles · 4 months

Note

hello! I saw your festive prompt.

could I request idea 6 or 27 with Levi x Hange, please. 💚💜

Festive Fics 27: Confessing A Crush When It’s Snowing

The Last Two People on Earth (modern AU) Levi x Hange (mentioned: Zeke Yeager) 1835 words

Levi was struck by hot whips of panic. His breath rasped in his lungs as he glared wildly into a haze of white. The frantic scraping of his windscreen wipers did little to relieve the snow as it pummelled down with renewed ferocity. It was quickly becoming impossible to drive in such a blizzard; the tightening of his chest warned him so. And yet his eyes were fixed upon the darkness, searching amongst the pale limbs of trees which lined the road for a lone figure. Every shape emerged as human company, only for his headlights to flash over it and extinguish all hope. Levi was terrified that he would pass them without recognition… leave them to perish out in the storm. How long had Hange been walking? They had left moments before he had run to his car. How had they managed to cover so much ground in that time?

Then his lights caught a shape. Stalking against the wind, head bowed, arms wrapped around them, was Hange Zoe.

Levi’s tyres crunched the ground as his vehicle slowed to a halt. He flung open his door and scrambled out.

“Oi, Hange!”

His voice tore in the snow-flecked gale. Hange stopped, arms still folded, refusing to turn around. Flakes dusted the shoulders of their coat; tangled in their hair. Levi’s shoes sank into the carpet of white. Snow littered his chest and arms. He brushed the flakes from his face with an impatient hand. Within a few short seconds the cold was already beginning to seep through his jacket.

“Of all the places this guy had to live… what is this, Count Fucking Dracula’s Castle…?”

“Well, no one asked you to drive all the way out here!” Hange burst out tremulously.

Their breath coiled like smoke into the wind. Suppressing a shiver, Levi wrung the snow from his arms. Then he placed a tentative touch upon their shoulder.

“Hange-” Slowly, they turned to him. Their lenses were smeared, eyes clouded with hurt and fury. The gale had whipped their cheeks raw.

“Come on. You really think you would have gotten very far walking in all this?”

“I only left because you showed up uninvited!”

Hange’s stare blazed the ground. And yet, they did not resist as Levi drew them closer.

“We can’t stay here-” The cold air grated Levi’s tone, fraying every word until they hung hoarsely between them. “We’ll freeze.”

His arm tightened around Hange’s shoulders. The fabric of their coat was so icy it chilled his fingertips. Turning back, they struggled towards the car. Hange refused to speak another word, even once the door had slammed shut upon the cool interior of the vehicle.

As they rolled into the night, there was just the rustle of flakes upon the windscreen and the creaking of Levi’s wipers as they battled the onslaught. His eyes strained, exhausted, into the whirl of white. Only minutes had passed before Levi could hardly see more than a couple of inches of road curving in front of them. A sudden bend caught him unaware, forcing him to press upon the brake. The car crawled feebly, defeated by the elements which rained down upon them.

“We can’t keep on going, Levi…” Hange’s voice was heavy with tiredness.

“You mean…” Levi turned to cough into his damp sleeve. As he lifted his head, he found himself unable to finish his question. The silence settled heavily between them, as suffocating as the snow which clung to the corners of the glass

“There’s a high school less than ten minutes from here,” Hange suggested, “I remember visiting there a couple of times for inter-school competitions…”

Levi obliged by pulling over by the side of the road. He removed a torch from the glove compartment and retrieved a spare sweater from the back seat - this, he flung upon Hange’s lap.

The school building loomed into view; a hidden relic encased within the swirl of a shaken snow globe. Arms clinging to one another, bowed against the gale, Levi and Hange staggered forwards. They moved in slow motion, like aged versions of themselves cut out of time and place, left to wander in a world of white.

“Evening cleaning staff stay til late,” Hange’s jaw chattered as they nodded towards the lit windows. “I doubt they’ll be leaving anytime soon…”

Frozen footsteps left a trail of ice-water across the hardwood floors. Crossing an eerily quiet reception area, the two of them entered the first ground floor room they passed. It was a small space connected to an adjoining classroom. A faded display adorned the wall; paper turned pale by the sunlight of endless summer afternoons. Fresh chalk had recently been scrawled over a small, wall-mounted board. There was the scent of plastic, of paint and marker pens preserved in the still air.

They removed their wet shoes and placed them beneath a traditional column radiator which ran along the space opposite the window. Levi shook the water from his jacket and placed it over a classroom chair. The sudden warmth after such exposure drew the heat into his face. He ran his tongue across the roof of his dry mouth. Then he removed a tissue from his pocket to wipe at his icy nose. Hange sat with their back resting against the radiator, Levi’s thick sweater spread over their lap.

Once Levi had settled beside them, they lapsed into separate spheres of thought. The window opposite was a black square framing flakes as they drifted upon the night like feathers.

“Is it true?” Levi broke the silence at last. He appeared to address his arms, which rested upon his knees. “What you said before?”

The sleeve of Levi’s sweater slid off Hange’s lap as they shifted against the metal coils of the radiator. They retrieved it a little pedantically, smoothing the fabric out with several strokes of their hand.

“...about what?”

“That you only left because I showed up?”

“Well, how else do you explain it?” Hange turned to him fiercely. “You appeared out of nowhere. Of course Zeke assumed he was getting in the middle of something! Now I’d be surprised if I ever manage to get him on his own again.”

Levi reached out to check the dampness of his jacket. “...I see.”

“I don’t think you do.” Hange shifted so that they were kneeling next to him. The sweater lay crumpled at their side. “This is how it works with benefactors! If a department needs funding for equipment then they have to kiss a pompous ass here or there to make it happen.”

Levi’s mouth twisted at their words.

“I know it’s not the same in your job… but to us, donations are everything.” Hange glared down at their trembling fists. “Without them, we can’t continue our work. We’d be left stranded years behind in terms of research…”

“It just…” Levi lowered his head and coughed into his sleeve again. “It shouldn’t have to be that way.”

“Well… it is.” Hange sat back on their heels. In this posture there was something childlike about them. “...and you implying that there’s something seedy going on when it was just dinner and the offer of a guest room in his house… well, that really stings, Levi.”

“I never thought…”

“So why then, huh?” Hange’s voice rang in the small confines of the room. “Why did you drive all the way out here from your place?”

“I…” Levi cleared his throat again. Then he leaned his head back against the plain plaster wall behind them. “I… just think it gives the wrong idea.”

“So what… you rode out here to defend my honour?” Hange laughed derisively. “Give me a break…”

“Don’t be stupid. I mean it gives him the wrong idea.”

The corners of the windows were misted with white. The darkness beyond was speckled with wisps of magic.

“Moblit told me about the last time you both met that guy… he said there was something off about him. You all felt it. And… I didn’t like the idea of you being stuck with someone who makes you feel that uncomfortable.”

Hange wrapped their arms around their knees. They turned their face away and remained still, half-hidden by their sleeve.

“It’s not your job to rescue me… I don’t know why you think it is.”

In answer, Levi drew towards them. Wordlessly, he picked up his sweater and swept it around Hange’s shoulders so that the sleeves embraced them around the neck. His hand lingered upon the material; his eyes intent upon their face. Then he moved back against the wall.

Silence lay upon the scene once more, only broken by tiny, incidental sounds. The humming of the overhead lights. The clicking of the radiator. Rustlings of snow whispered their secrets against the glass. The quiet rasp of Levi’s breath. Within that small room surrounded by flaking plaster and old paper… the smell of chalk dust and dried paint… Hange heaved an exhausted, tearless sigh. So consumed by their anger, they had hardly noticed Levi. He was sleeping, his head resting against the faded wall. His face was drawn and pale.

Removing his sweater from around their shoulders, Hange draped it over his lap. Levi gave a small grunt in response but did not stir. Hange placed the back of their hand against his forehead, withdrawing as his skin burned them.

“You idiot,” Hange chided him, “rushing out into a storm to save me, even though you’re sick and trying to hide it… who do you think you are, a knight in shining armour?”

Hange studied his pale brow, tightened with worry, even now as he slept. They mapped out the contours of his angular cheekbones; the small, curved nose; his sharpened jawline.

“You were born in the wrong era, Levi. You ought to have lived in the time of fair maidens so you could ride in on horseback and be the hero.” They gave a sparkling peal of laughter, their tone far lighter than before. “It’s just… I’m not cut out to be a damsel in distress, I’m afraid.”

Levi’s dark fringe tickled the back of their hand as they stroked it away from his face.

“You see… you’ve got it all wrong. You don’t need to worry about me… especially when it comes to Zeke.”

The room had grown colder and emptier without Levi’s brash interjections, but Hange would not have woken him for the world. As his breath whistled quietly down his nose, Hange marvelled at the steady rise and fall of his chest.

“...because I can take care of myself… just how I take care of you.”

Instinctively, Hange’s fingers felt for his. They knelt beside him, Levi’s hand held gently in theirs.

“Thanks to you we’ll be stuck here until sunrise…”

Hange touched their own forehead lightly to his. Resting there for a moment, they savoured the warmth of his skin as it flared against their own.

“...we could be the last two people on earth. Maybe we should just stay here forever… just you and me.”

#I bet you're all thinking the same as me...#how could they get ice water all over the floor when those poor cleaners are working so hard?#anyway Anon... hope you liked it #levi ackerman #hange zoe #levihan #levi x hange #levihan angst #levihan oneshot #this is all very CLOY so Imma tag that too...#crash landing on you #attack on titan #snk #festive fics #my writing #thank you for the request - I was really feeling this scene as I started planning it :)

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befuddled-calico-whump · 19 days

Note

This is a genuine question: I know you enjoy lady whump as you have some characters that are female and are whumpees. I enjoy it too, sorta. Truth is that I feel guilty.

I know it’s kinda problematic to see lady whump as taboo and immoral but I can’t help but feel like it’s wrong, I come from a country that HATES women (shocker all countries hate women but I mean mine has a huge femicide problem) and I know how stupid I sound “I can’t feel but it’s wrong” like duh it’s whump! But I honestly don’t know how to get over those feelings, it hits too close home.

My question here is did you ever got those feelings of guilt and if you did, how did you get over those?

It's understandable to feel guilty at times, especially when creating or enjoying dark content (and especially if it's something that hits close to home)

Initially, I had some reservations about lady whump, since in mainstream media, violence against women tends to be a sensationalized thing that exists for shock value or to motivate the male lead in some way

(it's worth noting that the media has a history of doing this to trans, gay, and otherwise queer characters and non-white characters as well)

Initially I was squicked out by the idea of lady whump because I was so used to seeing it through that lens (not to mention, as you've said, the real-life examples)

However, I've seen again and again that whump as a genre tends to handle that material well (with all genders, not just females). Instead of the shock value, whump focuses a lot on the emotions, how the harm affects the character being harmed, and more often than not gives that character a fulfilling recovery arc

Personally, that's what shifted my opinion on it

Even then, if it's something you're uncomfortable with, you're not at fault for avoiding or disliking it. It all comes down to personal preference, and whether you'd like to explore it more or just stay away, it's your choice, and you shouldn't need to explain yourself (/gen)

#media consumption guilt is definitely a thing #but stories are a way to deal with uncomfortable realities from a safe spot aswell as explore different flawed perspectives #consuming or creating media that DOES sensationalize/'mishandle' sensitive topics is still not morally wrong #you have the right to avoid it as much as you have the right to enjoy it #but whump as a genre is often misunderstood #yeah we like the violence and angst and fleeting whumperflies #but most people i know in the community care a lot MORE about the characters and how the things they go through change them #and how despite all the shit they're put through they still come out #they can still heal and live a happy life #regardless of age; gender; sex; race; etc #anon #hope this helped!#whump meta

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stoned-eren · 8 months

Note

Can’t help but think about reader that isn’t interested in Obsessed Eren. She just… doesn’t like him like that, she doesn’t really like him that much as a person. She’s super nice but she doesn’t fuck with him. She also isn’t seeing anyone else and doesn’t plan on it because she’s ✨A holy starseed who is saving herself for her twin flame✨ and refuses to date some loser in college that won’t last a year. And she thinks of Eren in the same way, not only is he not her type physically, emotionally, or mentally. But he just seems lame to her. She’s to legit.

a/n: HELLO, hello! i am so sorry i've been so late with this, but i haven't forgotten you! in fact, i’ve been practicing my writing skills in anticipation for this ask hehe. :p i've been thinking about this since you've sent it, so much appreciated <3 you know i love me some obsessive eren. i hope u enjoy!

content: MDNI, obsessive themes, yandere behavior? (not really), gn! reader, college setting!, alcohol, angst, a teeny tiny bit of fluff, eren is a big softie in this one, mean reader? (kinda/not really) word count: 4.8k (IM SORRY)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

maybe it was just his hair.

or maybe, it was his lazy, glazed appearance.

hell, maybe it was just everything about him.

his personality certainly wasn't obnoxious or anything. he was quiet, seemed to keep to himself, and didn’t really pester you all too much.

but there was something about him that you slightly disliked. you weren’t even sure what it was. maybe it was just the fact that you just couldn’t connect with him- not mentally, not emotionally, not spiritually. you didn’t see much in him.

your eyes flittered over to eren jeager, the man you were just criticizing in your head. he was sitting in his usual spot in the lecture hall, which happened to be right next to your usual spot. leaning over his side of the desk, strands of his messy brown hair slumped down, the rest tied up in a slackly bun. he was wearing a large, baggy hoodie, the same hoodie he always wore, even if it was scorching hot outside. in your eyes, he was just… average. nothing really stood out to you about him; it was if he was like any other guy in your class.

from the corner of his eye, eren noticed your eyes flicker onto his face, and he felt his skin crawl. he hitched his breath, just barely. were you staring at him? eren glanced up from his lecture notes, seemingly not even taking any notes to begin with; a messily drawn sketch of a large dinosaur scribbled on his paper. he tried to hide the drawing as he turned his head to look at you, wondering if you needed something from him.

really though, eren would use any excuse he could just to interact with you.

to put it frankly, eren was desperate for you. at first, eren treated you like he would any other classmate; he ignored you, seemingly too overwhelmed with his life to focus on anybody else. but as the months slipped by, the two of you growing accustomed to sitting next to each other in multiple classes, several days a week, he had gotten to know bits of you. and god, he just adored you.

you were so sweet to him.

eren didn’t know it, but you were sweet to everyone. you were just being polite, after all. even if you disliked eren, just a little bit, you had no reason to be rude to him. so, you smiled at him, giggled with him, and treated him like you would any other acquaintance.

but for eren- fuck, it was so frustrating.

eren was bordering on obsession. he knew that spending almost every day in your presence, you so very close to him, definitely didn’t help ease that compulsion. every time you sat next to him, he was be able to smell hints of you, see the glossiness of your lips, the softness in your eyes.

eren just didn’t know how you felt, though. in his mind, he wanted to convince himself that you liked him back, just too shy to admit it. and eren didn’t know how to admit it either. so, here you two were, in some sort of back-and-forth limbo that left eren pulling out his hair. he had to comfort himself every night while he laid in bed, reassuring himself that you must have some affection, any affection for him. after all, you were just so sweet to him.

eren tried to stop himself. he really did. as if like clockwork, he told himself that he’d be good- he’d be over you. every day, he told himself that. but whenever you’d walk into class, dropping your bag on the floor, and giving him a tired, shy smile- he couldn’t help but imagine waking up to that face; to see you in your unmatched, natural beauty. whenever he thought he could break away from your grasp, you pulled him back in, not even trying.

eren must have imagined you staring at him. when he turned his head to look at you, you were seemingly focused on your lecture notes, diligently scribbling down whatever the professor was saying.

you could feel eren staring at you as you took your notes. it irked you, just a little bit. why did he feel the need to stare at you all the time? you didn’t even understand why he came to class, asking you for homework or lecture notes almost daily. instead of focusing on his studies, he opted to spending his time drawing or going on his phone when he was in class. you glanced at the dinosaur drawing in his notebook. you felt your skin pricking up as his gaze never ceased, watching you from the corner of his eye. just barely.

the professor stopped his lecturing mid-sentence, casually checking his phone. he frowned upon the sight of what you assumed was a notification.

“sorry class,” he says, swiping his phone, walking over to his desk and gathering his supplies. “something just came up, lecture’s over.”

some students immediately get up upon hearing that class is cut short, quickly beelining it to the exit. you’re one of those students, hastily gathering your supplies and stuffing them into your bag, not even looking back at eren as you leave. today had been a particularly bad day for you; too many things going wrong all at once. you didn’t have much energy to deal with eren’s antics.

you confused him so much. you were so sweet and kind. but then there were times where you would treat him like this, not even saying goodbye to him, seemingly just wanting to get away from him. eren just didn’t understand, he couldn’t understand.

he felt a small twinge in his heart as he watched you walk out the door and into the corridor.

- - -

since lecture was cut short, you decided to spend your free time with one of your best friends, sasha. she was laying on a bean bag in your room, flipped upside down as she snacked on potato chips. you had to remind her not to lay like that, since she’s choked several times in the past laying in that exact position, on that exact bean bag.

while sasha’s munching on her chips, her eyes grow bright as she seems to come to a realization.

“oh! there’s a party tonight!” sasha swallowed, crumbs of fried potato falling down her lips as she flipped around, standing up quickly. “you gotta come, you just have to. it’s gonna be hugeeeee.”

you groan, just slightly. parties weren’t really your thing, especially huge ones. you always felt out of place. sasha knew that very well.

“cmon,” sasha whines. “you’re never out of class this early- it could be fun; you could meet somebody.” she says, her voice teasingly playful, raising her eyebrows at you.

“yeah, no, i’m not really into that, the ‘meeting’ someone thing,” you say, giving air quotes around the word ‘meeting’. you knew what sasha meant by that. you thought hard before you spoke. “but i’ll go. for you, sasha.” you clarify, poking your friend on her forehead. she snorts, delighted by your response.

before you know it, you’re at the party, coming up to the house of some stranger; a large, fancy mansion. it’s littered with people, some drunk, some sober, as crowds enter and exit the house. you try to adjust your outfit for some decency, sasha making you wear something you normally wouldn’t say yes to. you’re a little glad you agreed to wear this outfit though, as you soon realize that everyone around you is littered in slightly nicer clothes than you. sasha is grabbing you by your wrist, almost dragging you into the mansion.

you’re already uncomfortable. it’s absolutely packed in here. you could feel the heat from all the bodies in the room, some more sweaty than others as they danced to the blaring music that was playing.

you and sasha walked around for a bit, trying to find anyone you guys recognized. sasha found a group of her friends, people you didn’t really know, and began to socialize with them. you stood a little way away from sasha’s friend group, awkwardly listening to them share inside jokes and tell stories about one another.

after talking with her friends for quite some time, sasha made her way back to you, a couple of her friends still with her. while leaning against a wall, you were scrolling on your phone, nothing to do as you wished you were home right now. you looked up at sasha, seemingly relieved that she was back. but before you could say anything to her, she was already turned around, heading off in the other direction while her friends seemed to drag her away.

“sasha-!“ you have to yell to be heard over the noise.

“let me get us some drinks!” sasha called out to you, curtly turning her head around to look at you. her brunette hair was the only thing you saw as she disappeared into the crowd of people. great. she left, again.

you instinctively held onto yourself, seemingly recognizing no one at this party. as you waited for sasha, it felt like a few minutes passed by. then ten, then twenty. at this point your back was against a wall, just waiting for your friend to come back. eventually, you decided to just text her.

“dude, where are you? “ 8:15 PM

“SASHAAAAA” 8:18 PM

“omg” 8:26 PM

“how could you do this to me :’(“ 8:32 PM

you sighed, stuffing your phone back into your bag and waiting for your friend to respond. you eventually decided to seek out the booze yourself, going into the kitchen and pouring yourself a cup of fruity looking punch. after all, if you were going to be at a party, you might as well enjoy it, even if you were alone.

you made your way into the backyard, a huge, luscious space that stretched out to every corner of your peripheral. the backyard was much emptier than the inside of the mansion, small groups of people casually chatting instead of the crowds of people chaotically screaming and bumping into you inside. you sipped on your drink as you sat in one of the fancy, structured chairs in the corner of the backyard, hearing the muffled music play from inside the house. it reverberated the mansion. you let the cool night air hit your skin, just trying to feel any semblance of peace right now, being undeniably very stressed.

- - -

eren wasn’t one for parties. but this night was one of the biggest parties of the year, making it hard to pass up. he figured he could use the escape, doing anything he could to not think of you. eren was in the kitchen of the mansion, taking shots with his friends. he needed to forget you. what better way than to drink his worries away, he figured. just this once.

he took a shot, and another shot, and another shot with his friends, feeling his inhibitions slip away. as his inebriation started to settle in, his mind seemingly ended up wandering back to thoughts of you, a painstakingly common occurrence for him. he felt so lonely in this crowd of people. none of them were like you, none of them could ever be like you. you were so sweet, so gentle and kind to him. he felt his heart surge upon thinking of you; only you.

it was only you.

eren didn’t seem to notice whenever you would return from outside, clamoring your way back into the house for whatever reason. as if the timing was off, his back would be turned to you, busy talking with his friends every time you made your way back into the mansion, pouring yourself cup after cup of the punch. each time you got up to get more punch, you could feel yourself wobble more, struggle more.

the night began to get darker as you sat outside, finally coming to the conclusion that you weren’t getting a response from sasha. you had texted her a few more times, but whenever she got drunk, she seemed to forget that her phone existed. figuring she was with her group of friends, you stood up from the seat you had been cushioned in, ready to go home and prepare yourself for another weekend of studying. you stumbled slightly as you got up, not realizing that drinking four cups of that punch would get you this drunk.

everything was hard to see. you looked at your phone, the letters on your screen practically moving, making it hard to focus and type. you sent a quick text to sasha.

“in ggong jhome! :D” 9:36 PM

it was supposed to read, “i’m going home.” close enough, you figured.

you made your way back into the mansion, stumbling through crowds of people, using some random strangers as leverage so you wouldn’t fall. you finally got to the front door, which was cracked wide open, letting you slip out the mansion and into the night.

the walk wasn’t too far, so you figured you could make it on your own.

when you walked into the kitchen, drunkenly stumbling towards the exit, eren’s eyes glowed. you walked by eren, seemingly not even noticing him. it was too hard to pay attention to him though, there were crowds of people, and you were very, very drunk. but eren noticed you. he wondered how long you had been here, what you were even doing here to begin with. were you talking to anybody? flirting with them? the very idea made eren panic. if he knew that you’d be here, he would have spent more time looking for you. he couldn’t look away from you, his mind racing as he was enamored by your effortless charm.

eren noticed that you were wearing a rather cute outfit, one that accentuated the flawless features of your body. it was something he didn’t really see you in too often, if, at all. he also noticed the way you stumbled, losing your footing on seemingly nothing as you bumped into strangers, giggling apologizes at them. god, you looked drunk.

now on his 6th shot, eren couldn’t even think properly. he figured he could say hi to you- that wouldn’t be weird, right? even if it was just a three second conversation, it mattered to eren. every second, every moment with you counted. upon seeing you start to leave, eren made his way out the door, curtly saying goodbye to his friends, just trying to catch up with you. you were just a little faster than him though. as he finally made it to the front door of the mansion, he saw you disappear off into the night on foot, no friends around you.

wait- were you walking home by yourself? in your drunken state?

no- eren wouldn’t let you. who knows what could happen to you? eren wouldn’t take that risk, not even slightly. you needed him right now. briskly, he began to walk in the direction he saw you last. he was rather drunk himself, so he struggled to walk as he attempted to catch up with you, not even seeing where he was stepping. but his strides were long, his footsteps fast; so, he caught up to you in a short amount of time.

you were walking down an isolated street; you hadn’t seen a single car come by so far. the road was long, stretching out farther than you could see, but it led directly to your college. you now realized that the walk was going to be more time consuming than you expected. as you looked up into the sky, there were large, cheap street lights towering above you, lined up haphazardly along the sidewalk. you were trying your best to walk in a straight line, just in case a car did come by- you had to appear as sober as you could. but you couldn’t, you couldn’t walk normally at all.

your ears perked up at the sound of your name being called. your head spun around as you turned to find the source of the noise. the world was spinning, so you couldn’t really see who it was from afar. you should have been more alarmed, but in your drunken state, all you did was watch as the figure approached you, body tensed up. eventually, your eyes relaxed slightly when you realized who it was, eren lightly jogging up to you, trying to catch up to you. you didn’t recognize him without his hoodie and sweats on, wearing a nice flannel and jeans instead. as he walked up to you, the golden light from the street lamp highlighted his features.

“hey. i saw you at the party- you’re walking home by yourself this late at night?” eren said to you, his voice full of concern and dripping with intoxication. he breathed softly, as if he was out of breath. you paid him no mind.

“yes, i am. my house is like, right here, so…” you trailed off, slurring your words.

you were obviously lying. there was nothing around you and eren but roads and a sidewalk, no homes anywhere near the path you were taking. were you sure you were going the right way?

you fully expected eren to part ways with you now, not knowing what he could possibly need from you. you turned back around, and continued to march home, almost tripping over your own feet.

“wait-“ eren stammered, his pace picking up with yours. “are you sure that’s safe?”

you glanced at him silently, but kept walking.

he followed you, continuing. “it’s just- well, there’s a lot of petty crime around here, you should be careful. i-if you want, maybe i can-”

why was he doubting you? did he think you weren’t able to make it home? in your drunken state, you let out some of your annoyance with him, some of the bottled-up feelings you had for him spilling out.

“eren-“ you breath, cutting the boy off and stopping in your tracks. “i’m fine- you really think i can’t walk home?”

“it’s not that, i just- i don’t think you should be alone right now,“ he began, stammering as he spoke.

you huff, clearly exasperated. “and why’s that? i can take care of myself.”

eren’s eyes widened. he felt himself panic, just slightly, unable to understand why it was a bad thing for him to take care of you. “i… well i just…” he murmured, quieting his voice as he seemed to be unable to speak.

you were getting annoyed.

“you just what?” you finally snap, “how did you even know i was walking? were you following me?” you say in an accusatory tone.

eren feels his anxiety surge. what were you insinuating about him? did you really think he was a bad guy? but… would it be bad if he did follow you?

he goes quiet, knowing that anything he says won’t satisfy you. you keep going.

“it’s creepy,” you say, your eyes shooting daggers at him. eren feels his heart drop upon hearing you say those words. it echoes in his brain.

him, creepy?

“i… i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to bother you.” eren said, his eyes darting away from you. he wasn’t sure what he was doing wrong, but he was irritating you, he was scaring you. and he didn’t like it. the two of you stood on the sidewalk, the buzz of the street light filling the harsh silence in the air as it illuminated above you. eren’s expression saddened, like a hurt puppy, as he stared at the floor, not able to meet your gaze.

you couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt in your heart, regretting snapping at the man. after all, was he really doing anything wrong? you quickly realized you were just letting out pent up frustrations at him. you knew eren, you knew him well. and you knew he wasn’t like that. you bit your lip, thinking of a way you could fix this.

“n-no, wait. eren, i’m sorry,” you finally say, your voice genuine and remorseful. eren looks up at you, his expression so saddened, so lonely, you couldn’t help but feel bad for him, pitying him. “that wasn’t right of me to say.”

“oh. it’s okay,” eren says. he gives you a weak smile, one mixed with hurt and anguish.

you look at him for a second, the dim yellow light from the street lamp mixing with eren’s eyes. he looked so tired, you noted. you could see the melancholy on his face as he looked into your eyes, searching for something. unsure of what he could want, you slowly turned around, continuing your walk down the road.

eren followed you, his steps a few feet away from yours. whenever you wondered if he left, you could hear his shoes clack against the sidewalk, indicating that he was still following you. you decided not to say anything, not wanting to hurt him for inconceivably no reason again.

eren was lost in thought. you had never gotten that mad at him before, let alone said anything so harsh to him before. what did he do? was it wrong to want to protect you? didn’t you want him to protect you?

he just wanted you to be alright. he would never forgive himself if he knew something happened to you, knowing he could have prevented it. he swallowed his thoughts, his intoxication still very apparent in his body.

he walked, you not once looking back to see if he was still there, still tripping on your own feet. without realizing it, his ideal world of you started to crumble. there were cracks in the foundation; seeds of uncertainty planted inside of eren’s head.

you were doing it again, treating him as if he was a pesky little bug that wouldn’t leave you alone. a wave of sorrow hit him, his life feeling aimless at the mere thought of you not interested in him, or even worse, hating him. what would he do at that point? what if that came true?

eren was getting so, so tired. he just wanted to tell you how much you meant to him, how much he needed you in his life. he felt incomplete without you, as if he was a puzzle missing a piece. there was an emptiness in his heart, one that he knew could be so lovingly and tenderly mended by you.

he needed to tell you. he needed to do it, he had to do it, before these feelings consumed his very essence.

neither one of you spoke to each other as you made the long journey home, both of you seemingly lost in thought. you stopped when you got the complex of your dormitories, deep into the late hours of the night. your feet were sore, walking for what seemed like miles. you turned to eren, not wanting him to go any further.

“see? told you i’d make it here no problem,” you voice slightly slurs as you tell eren, as if trying to prove something to him. you sobered up from your walk, just barely. you could walk in a somewhat straight line now, at least.

he gave you a small smile. he seemed so distracted. as you said goodnight to him, turning around to disappear into the night, eren wrapped his fingers around your arm, gently stopping you in your tracks.

“wait…” eren said, the sadness leaving his face; a soft expression replacing his pain. he focused his eyes on you, his blue-green irises shining bright. “i’ve been wanting to tell you something.”

curiously, you looked at him as he let go of your arm. you stared at him with beautiful eyes as eren hesitated, unsure of how he could phrase his next sentence.

he just went for it.

he breathed. “i like you. like, a lot.”

you just stared at him.

why didn’t you say anything?

he stammered his next sentence, unable to read any indication of feeling in your face as you blankly gazed at him. “i was wondering if you would want to go out sometime-“

“oh eren, i’m sorry. i can’t.” you flatly reply, making eren’s heart twinge.

he felt like his world was falling apart as you turned him down, casting him aside like he was just some inconvenience in your life. you could see just how utterly crushed he was, biting his lip harshly, as if punishing himself for even trying to ask you out. his eyes darkened, the brightness fading from them as he stood there, frozen in place, his heart pounding as you rejected him.

you felt yourself having to explain, trying to let him down softly. “i just- i’m saving myself for the right person. i don’t want a relationship that’s not going to last-“

“we could last,” he commented, as he looked at you with pure pain. “i know we could.” his voice was barely a whisper.

“e-eren, i…” you stammer, a little flustered.

eren says your name, looking into your eyes as if he’s pleading with you, so desperately wanting a chance with you.

“i’d give you everything. you’d be my everything…” eren said, trying to soothe himself with his words. “so please…”

“i’m sorry eren, i just… i just can’t.” you tell him.

“oh…” he trails off.

“…i’ll be waiting, for as long as it takes.” eren said. he paused before he spoke again. “forever, if i need to…”

you would never admit it, not even to yourself, but a tiny blush spread across your face from his words. he was undoubtedly, a little sweet. even though you disliked him, just a little.

eren sadly said goodbye to you, fully intending on skipping class on monday so he didn’t have to go through the shame and embarrassment of seeing you. eren stood there as you left. you walked deeper into the dormitory complexes, finally getting back home after a long day.

eren watched you as you walked away, the tip of your head disappearing down the hill into the complexes. he walked back out the complex, his heart pounding, trying to calm his thoughts.

he did it- he finally confessed- but you didn’t.

he sat on the closest planter he could find, balling his fists into his head, a migraine coming on. he covered his face as small tears formed in his eyes. he wondered what was wrong with him. was it his personality- his appearance? what were you looking for? he could be anything, if it meant you were there with him. eren’s thoughts stilled, his eyes wet with tears as he slid his hands down his face.

he’d wait forever, if he had to. he told you that, and he meant it. for there was no one eren would ever love besides you.

but maybe now was not the time.

nor would it ever be.

maybe he was just meant to love you. maybe you weren’t meant to love him.

you shut your bedroom, kneeling against the door, thinking deeply. your thoughts traveled to eren, your mind unable to not think about him. you realized just how nervous you were now, your palms sweaty and your legs shaking. as you replayed his confession in your brain, you noted how soft his eyes looked when he gazed upon you. his words just seemed so genuine, so truthful; his voice wavering as he silently begged you for just a moment, a chance with you.

you thought of eren as you laid in bed, seemingly sleeping for a few hours, arriving home far too late. you thought of eren as you studied through the weekend, your notes not even making sense to you as you were so distracted. you thought of eren as you walked into your lecture hall days later, a small skip of your heart as you noticed that eren wasn’t here today. you thought of eren as you went home, walking as you imagined him behind you, his footsteps just barely out of sync with yours; reminding you of the day he confessed. you thought of him as you cooked and cleaned. you thought of him the next day, and the day after that.

eren seemingly stopped showing up to class, the last time you saw him was over two weeks ago. you heard from your mutual friends that eren dropped out of his classes. you couldn’t help but think about him, your mind always going back to his confession. what if you had said yes?

you couldn’t help but wonder.

there was a small stab of guilt in your heart every time someone mentioned eren. you felt a little more aimless each day you went into lectures, knowing he wouldn’t be there. you started to sketch small drawings of dinosaurs in your notebook, a little reminder of him.

you didn’t like him, though.

…right?

68 notes · View notes

giggly-squiggily · 3 months

Note

Possibly a Lee!Genya x Ler!Reader with ‘Miss You’? Reader is trying to get Genya to cheer up. Being the good significant other they are, they find a way to make him smile?🫶

If your Demon Slayer asks are full, then maybe that but with an Aki x Reader instead?

{Candy Heart Prompts: OFFICIALLY CLOSED!}

Whoooo this one got more angsty than I planned ajkjaejrejk All the same, hey anon! :D Lee!Genya is an absolute gem, and this was really fun to write- even if it got a bit angsty and light in the actual tickling- I hope you like it though!

CW: Angst

Miss You: "When's the last time you smiled?"

“Hey..” You reached out, placing a hand over Genya’s. “When’s the last time you smiled?”

Your boyfriend startled, eyes widening when he turned to look at you. Then they welled, breaking your heart instantly. “Genya..”

“I-I’m fine.” He reassured you, scrubbing at them vigorously as he looked away. “I’m fine, I swear! I d-don’t- I don’t know what happened. It’s not your fault, I just-” He sniffed between words, voice shaking as he struggled to stop the tears. Watching him shatter was too much.

“Come here.” You pulled him close, squeezing him tightly as he let out a shaky sob. “I’ve got you..you can cry, you’re safe.”

Genya couldn’t respond, not that you expected him to. He clung to you tightly as he shook in your arms, his sobs muffed in your neck as you ran a soothing hand against his back, whispering words of comfort. You hoped it helped.

Eventually, when his sobs began to quiet and his grip on you grew looser, you felt him droop in your arms, suddenly very tired. “Sorry..I didn’t mean to do that.”

“Shush, you have nothing to apologize for.” You reassured him, squeezing him in emphasis. Looking at where your hands were, an idea came to mind. “Genya..can I cheer you up?”

There was a pause, but then Genya was nodding in your neck. “Gently, please.”

“Of course.” You smiled, bringing your fingers to his ribs. With slow, feathery pressure, you ran them up and and down his sides, feeling him stiffen in your arms before melting into you, giggling. “Ahehehehahah..heheheha! (Y/N), heahhahaaha!”

“Is this okay?” You asked, heart healing when he nodded, holding you tighter as you carried on tracing his ribcage. You couldn’t see it, but knowing he was smiling again was a true comfort. “I’m glad. Get ready- cause I’m not stopping until you feel better!”

#Candy Heart Valentine Event #chve2k24 #hurt/comfort #angst with a happy ending #genya shinazugawa #reader #genya x reader #demon slayer #I don't know where it came from I'm just feeling strangely angsty as I write this #All the same I hope you like it anon!#tickle #tickle dabble

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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 17 days

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hi ari yes! you are welcome

geto canonically (at least i believe so don't quote me) carries a lighter around just for shoko (he makes me want to die he's so sweet and tender) but i love how that doesn't stop most everyone from hcing/drawing him as a smoker god i hate cigarettes but he's soooo hot oh god i should be the cig instea

oh man geto hating himself for making the reader cry... some things never change... i'm in pain again. oh goodness i think. fluff. SPEAKING OF WHICH do you have any fluff recs for suguru? (i've already read all the ones from kissxcore and go6jo though). tumblr search engine fails me every time i try to read

and YES i was fast that's cause i was kind of (really) waiting for this all day and i saw it n howled a little bit wow. never a dull moment on this blog

YOU’RE SO SWEET 🌖 ANON MWAH MWAHHH <33333 it’s not explicitly canon that he carries a lighter around just for shoko, we just see him lighting a cigarette for her in hidden inventory!! with a lighter he brought on his own. personally i think he carries it around just for her tho :33 AND YOU’RE SO REALLL I NEED TO BE HIS CIG. i’m not a smoker either but sadly i fall into the habit of finding smoking aesthetically attractive </3 AND YES :((((( some things never change!!!!! his heart broke a little. imagine finally kissing the love of your life after 10 years of abstinence only to realize they’re crying……… yeahhh. </3

BUT YES SUGU FLUFF!!!! first of all GREAT taste tumblr user kissxcore the actual love of my life (alexis if u see this ily)…… i have a couple sugu drabbles/fics in mind so i’ll link them under the cut!!!!! :3

in no particular order!!! :

black is the colour of my true love’s hair by @/dollsuguru

LIFE-CHANGING FICCCCCC it’s sososo cute and funny and heartwarming :(((( the character/reader dynamic is my favorite Ever (sugu belongs w a silly little reader <333) and there r just . SO many moments that killed me. so much devotion!!!! and love!!!!!! AND HE CALLS READER DOVEEE I LOST IT I CRIED . kairo has some other sugu fics that’re more angsty but they’re Extremely tasty so i def recommend checking them out <33

a thundering first by @/teddybeartoji

THE CUTEST . THE SWEETEST . I GIGGLED AND KICKED MY FEET SOOOO MANY TIMES HE’S SO DANGEROUSLY CHARMING ….. genuinely got flustered reading this fic i am a weak weak individual. and mickey just has a way of writing intimacy and first meetings that Really makes me melt…. T_T they have some other super duper cute sugu stuff too!!!!

tattoo artist!sugu hcs by @/missukiyo

SOOOOOO CUTE AND FLUFFY <33333 i love tattoo artist sugu soso much and these hcs just made me feel that even more 😭😭 HE’S SOOO SPECIAL TO ME uki’s version of him is simply unsurpassed…….. he’s so boyfriend. so reassuring. made my heart flutter severely

an excuse to touch by @/riaki

THEEEEEEEE COMFORT READ EVER :((((((( i remember feeling sososoos cozy and happy reading it for the first time …. riko just has a Way with words and imagery and i eat it up every time!!! this drabble is just too sweet :((( sugu is so doting in it….. soooo bf coded……. i need him bad.

love by @/hayakawalove

ACTS OF SERVICE KING SUGU I CHEERED!!!!!! this is a super comfy super sweet poly stsg/reader fic but the focus is on sugu and his love language :33 I LOVE IT SO MUCHHHH rem’s sugu is one of my favorites ever we always agree on him and his love….. he’s such a giver. and rem wrote this in such a lovely way it’s just brimming w adoration :((( another big comfort read he’s so Mother

teeth; gum; metal by @/mossmudrock

ONE OF MY FAV SUGU PIECES EVERRRRR moss’ writing has me so genuinely insane i clearly remember the breakdown i had reading this for the first time. i don’t know if it’s exactly fluff? but it’s definitely not angsty!!!! it’s just such a lovely soft piece…. and it’s written so gorgeously. so many lines from it are imprinted in my skull <///3

that suspended in-between by @/seiwas

I LOVE THIS DRABBLE SO MUCHHHHH sel also wrote a super super good fwb to lovers sugu fic… that i adore…. but if you’re looking for pure fluffy vibes this one is probably better. i just think sel has a way of making characters feel super grounded and real!!!! and i love her take on sugu sm…. he is so charming in this.

our first i love you by @/sacchariins

i absolutely ADORE this fic… sadly the original account is deactivated but the link should hopefully still work :’3 i just think geto is so insanely charming in this, it’s a college au and it’s just…. super super fluffy and sweet and funny. it’s one of my absolute favorites!!!!! it inspired me a Lot when it comes to how i view college sugu and a no curses au sugu in general… wherever this writer is now i hope they know how wonderful and skilled they are!!! i think abt this dynamic and dialogue SO often.

cinnamon, honey & sage by @/s0ulm8s

I LOVE THIS ONE. as you know i Adore cult leader geto and i especially love when people depict him in a softer way!!!! which is exactly what this is :3 he feels in character and grounded but also soft…. it’s a delicate balance and i just think the author did suchhh a good job. it’s just rlly rlly sweet!!! and the writing is so pretty too…

housemate suguru hcs by @/luvsugu

THESE R SOOOO CUTE AND WARM :(((( housemate sugu my BELOVED this characterization of him is truly toptier. he’s so good. i need him so bad. just so feel-good and comfy i need to live w him….. roommates to lovers is another of my fav sugu tropes hehe

drabble by @/junosmindpalace

this is such a comfort read :’) it’s sooo sweet and tender and also so nicely written. just very very soft!!!! geto taking care of reader’s hair… and being doting and soft…… sniffleeee i love him. i love the way it’s written too!!!! such a nice take on sugu aaa

there r lots more on both tumblr and ao3 that i can’t remember at the moment, but this is a start!!! it’s reallyyyyy difficult to look for fluff in the jjk tags bc it’s literally brimming w smut but . go to ao3 and use lots of search filters and i’m sure you’ll find lots of gems!!!! sugu nation is so talented it’s crazy

#I HOPE THIS HELPEDDDDD #i’m For Sure forgetting a bunch btw 😭😭 that’s just…. kind of how it goes with me.#BUT 🌖 ANON PLS DO CHECK OUT AO3. IT’LL CHANGE YOUR LIFE. most of my fav sugu fics r from ao3!!!!#if you aren’t familiar w it then just go to the getou suguru/reader tag and filter out all the content tags you don’t like!!#smut or angst and etcetc!!!#wahhhhh reading through this list i’m realizing how lucky i am when it comes to sugu mutuals #they’re all sososososo talented i can’t say it enough!!!!! i recommend checking out everyone on this list bc their writing is so lovely #:’3 i love them all very much #ask tag ✩#🌖 anon !! ✩

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luffyvace · 5 months

Note

Your the best writer ever!💗🌸💕🌸💕💗❤💗💌💕🌸💌💌💗💖🌸👌💕💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💕🌸👌💗💌💌💕🌸👌👌💗💌💌💕🌸💖👌💌💌💕💕💕👌,but I could I please request Boa hancock x older brother reader headcanons,but a twist boa and reader have a good relationship.

I thank you a hunderned times for you work!💜 take care of yourself

TYSM THATS A BIG COMPLIMENT FOR MEEE!! THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE

💗

no problem at all!! you take care as well<3

there so many hancock gif?! i had no idea??

ofc i do your request anon:) this is a really cute concept

i’ve never wrote for hancock before and i don’t know much about her personally but i will try my best!! keep in mind they may not be very long considering this☝️

ok sooo😋

I’m gonna say you, hancock, sandersonia and marigold all got taken by a celestial dragon

and since you were oldest you did your best to protect your sisters

it pained you to watch them go through all they did

even more than what you went through

you barely felt your own pain because of how badly you wanted your sisters to escape

to leave and find happiness in a better place

even if it meant staying there and suffering

all so your sisters could be happy

you couldn’t give them that for a long time unfortunately

but eventually someone did

fisher tiger

you’ll never forget that man’s face

he brought you freedom and peace at last

and even more so for your beloved sisters

now that you all were out you swore to protect them with your life

you were the only man allowed on amazon lily

with special permission from hancock becoming the new empress you could stay

none of the kuja tribe members hated you either

in fact they loved you as much as sandersonia, marigold and hancock

the four of you were definitely happy to be reunited and spent lots of time together

you always went out with hancock on her trips

your big brother instincts told you something might happen and it worried you

luckily for you she didn’t mind taking you along

in fact she wanted you to come so you could keep back all the scoundrels called men

except for you

her near and dear brother

the only man in her life who never wronged her

and protected her in fact

she trusts you with her life

or if your weaker than her she’ll protect you:)

same goes with sandersonia and marigold

your sisters spoils you to no end

and you do the same for them

the four of you are always gifting each other

you guys spend lots of time together

like wherever there’s one the rest is sure to be there

you guys actually like giving each other hugs in private

away from the kuja tribe of course

not to display any weakness

you guys of course help each other hide the slave mark

if any man ever enters the island they would for sure get you to dispose of him

of course they could do it but you’ve been protecting them all this time

might as well

not like you have a problem with it anyway

in the case that you weren’t taken by the celestial dragon

and only your sisters were

you fight tooth and nail trying to get them back

making countless plans and training everyday

getting stronger with the goal of getting your sisters back in mind

you temporarily “rule” the island of women

the kuja accept you since your they’re brother

this is a very special occasion but again it’s only temporary

you promise the kuja you’ll bring back your sisters

and you promise yourself

lets say you got in with fisher tiger

you searched ever so desperately for your sisters in the fire

a part of you were afraid they got caught in the fire or had perished long ago

but before long you found them

you recognized them right away

you were so thankful they were alright

so happy

you hugged them and quickly showed them the way to freedom

the four of you cried at your reunion and they’re freedom

you helped them get back to the island after forming the gorgan pirates

you all made strong names for yourselves

your tribe was more than happy to see your sisters returned home safely

they were really grateful that you kept your promise

it upsets you to see your sisters slave mark but you help them hide it upon they’re request

you live happily with your sisters from then on

hancock took over being the empress, rightfully so

and you, marigold and sandersonia proudly stand to rule beside her

i hope you enjoooooy anonnnn💖

this is a really unique request! i’m so happy you sent it:) again they were kinda short but me personally im pretty satisfied with it, hopefully you are too

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averlym · 11 months

Note

pleaaase may i have 28 and 29 aramour angst ✨ i crave it

28: “Move out of my way before I make you.” // 29: “You deserve better.” (prompt list here)

click for better quality!

#the brainrot!!! so strong. anyways. fellas is it gay to confront the woman dating your ex when there's super high tension #anyway!!! highschool(?) modern au where the popular girl/ queen bee is whoever resident king henry is dating.. hm..#oh the tension between someone who used to serve you. now having taken your place. and you knowing the ins and out of that position..#especially that it's not all it's cooked up to be!! lots of thoughts about this au #art-wise i drew these as storyboards before i realised i cant video format well without audio so they're just here in storyboard form #i drew these in sketchy drafts and then in sketchbook then spent 2h lining them digitally bc the scans were yikes. anyways. i lost a frame #somewhere and it was before the “you deserve better” and it was like. “take it from someone who knows #fun fact!! i showed this to multiple irl friends without dialogue as i was drawing it. neither of them know the characters but.#immediately pinpointed exes vibes. and enemies to lovers. and basically homoerotic arguing tension.#remarkably pleased at how that was conveyed (and also amused. i love my friends). anyway if i were to do this again? then i'd draw in the #frames instead of re-doing the sizing after tracing. yikes that was an experience.#anyway!! (x3) anon i hope you enjoy the aramour angst. i hope it has something. i craved it a lot as i was drawing this #six the musical #six the musical fanart #catherine of aragon #jane seymour #also the characterisation was lowkey based off how mean girl seymour is absolutely a thing in the show. some of her lines. savage.#parallels!!! in show the "oh boohoo [..] i DIED'' and attacking aragon.. the rivalry here.. aaaagh #also!! the last line is a slightly paraphrased letter from aragon to her father(?) i think. found it online while looking for how she wrot #because i wanted her to sound more queenly... you also see it in how she's unbothered and rather unimpressed throughout seymour's posturing #the confidence in herself. meanwhile jane is defensive and a bit more prone to being flustered <parallels emotion in show script>#i'm just. very proud of these drawings together. narrative can be so very nice. the last two frames are kinda like a postscript.#sometimes the brainrot really gets you!! alright have a nice day.. comms are open and the fact that no one is taking them up rn feels a bit #sobering. but it's okay! i'm not in a rush.. it's more for the experience. hm. i wonder who wrote yes in the poll though #(can you. tell my ego is a little bruised?) nvm onwards!! eventually i'll get good enough to actually sell my stuff :OOO #oh an addendum: lowkey inspired by all the bathroom girl-on-girl confrontation scenes. one off the top of my head is the one from heathers #but there's quite a lot of those tbh #aramour

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moodmoodthecrabking · 21 days

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melancholic grace chasity moodboard with sapphic and christian themes requested by anon

#moodboard #grace chasity #npmd #grace npmd #sapphic grace chasity #HI I HAVE THOUGHTS ON THIS ONE #FIRST OFF: HOPE YOU LIKE THIS ANON #i wanted to include like 'my God my God why have you forsaken me' (bc grace thinks liking girls is analogous to Jesus on the cross'#or even like an annotation of psalm 139:14 with 'why like this'#but i COULDN'T. very unfortunate. so i hope you like what i've done instead!!#couldn't include a Bible verse. SAD. bc i there is lament in the Bible but all the aesthetic stuff focuses on the final part (praise)#instead of lament in its entirety. crying out to God and THEN coming back to Him #i don't have the girls kissing in most of them bc i wanted to get across the yearning and the angst.#but there was one with girls kissing in the church so i had to and fortunately i think it still fits the vibe #anyway thank you anon this was fun i hope you like it

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lavenoon · 7 months

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hey everyone im gonna take a brief "hiatus" (quotation marks because i wasn't that active to begin with). i got very bad personal news and can't deal with social media right now. my queue will run its course but i need a few days off to process things. thank you, love you, see you soon

#post let luce #to that nice anon who just started reading AU fic: thank you; i hope you're enjoying the bit of reveal angst #ill answer you proper when im not. well. lets say 'like this'

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inkykeiji · 2 months

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IK he probably isn't your type but there's something about Adam... 🤭

okay u are right that he isn’t reaaaally my type, BUT!!! i love adam i found him so hilarious (because i feel like we all know or have an adam in our life) and i do unfortunately have a thing for (fictional) toxic jackasses so!!! i kinda get where ur coming from. i’m really hoping adam is in hell now—like resurrected in hell the way pentious was in heaven—i’d love to see his redesign + i’d love to see how he fairs in hell >:) i might fall for him pretty hard if this ends up happening

i also saw this piece of fan art and almost choked on my tongue soooo,,,, adam has potential, i think,,, (also this one too omg??? adam?????)

#adam was so funny tho #like he's such a douche #but he had me giggling every time #he does remind me of someone i know tho AHAHAHA #but anyway #i get u anon #i totally get you #i think adam is a potential suitor for inkykeiji dot tumblr dot com #i love his fuckboi ways #he'd be a blast to write and i think he is ripe for angst as well #muahahaha >:)#i hope ur having an awesome thursday!!#stay safe n drink water <3 #inky.bb #inky.hazbin #clari gets mail

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xxcallmemaryxx · 2 years

Text

Ghouls/GNreader

Slight trigger warning: neglectful parents / unhealthy relationships with parents.

*Angst* but lots of fluff at the end. REQUEST for a lovely anon!

Its been a while since you left home. After going back for the first time in 3 years... you realise you never want to ever again. The ghouls show you how important and loved you are to them.

Here we go again. The time of the year you dread the most.

Every year your parents host a family gathering. Now, most of your family are fine. They keep to themselves, they do what they gotta do and they carry on with their lives.

But your parents are a different story…your very unsupportive… unloving parents. It took you a long time to see it. How differently they treated you compared to everyone else. You used to love this day when you were young. Your parents were different… They were so happy. You always thought it was because they enjoyed having the family over, but you soon grew to realise their change in attitude towards you was because they were wearing a mask. Having all these guests over meant they needed to put on a facade. ‘Show everyone we are a happy, functional, loving family!’.

But then the day would end. The guests would leave… and it was back to normal. The masks came off. The facade they put on was taken down and you were back to being ignored.

Fast forward to now. You left home around 3 years ago. Anywhere would’ve been better than home. The neglect and distaste you got thrown at you every single day became too much so you packed up and took off.

You found yourself at the doorstep of the Satanic Church.

A beautiful building you always admired growing up. You didn't see it often… but every time you just so happen to pass it you would dream of going inside.

You were always scolded for bringing it up. It was drilled into your head to stay far away from it. It was only a few years before you left that you finally found out what the building really was. What it offered.

And you had been longing for it ever since.

So when the time came for you to leave your parents behind. You knew exactly where you were going.

You were welcomed with open arms. You were given happiness. You were given support. You were given a family. A real family.

And after 3 years of growing and learning and finding friendship…you've found your peace.

You also found love. In the form of 5 devilish creatures from the pits of hell.

They've shown you so many beautiful, incredible experiences. Making unforgettable memories together, and exploring the world with them. You could finally be free. You didn't have to pretend to be someone else anymore.

But of course….

You still remember how supportive they were the day your parents found out where you were. You don't know how they found you. But they did and they wasted no time in contacting you. They guilt tripped you so intensely for moving out. Not only that but for where you decided to go… it left you feeling very numb. The ghouls saw you slipping into your old self and they put a stop to that right away. They reminded you of the love they had for you. How this church was your home now. And they were your family, as were the papas, and all the siblings of sin that also called the church their home.

That was the day you told them about your past.

Of course, they suffocated you with love. They scooped you up and showed you just how much they truly love you. All night long they showed you exactly what it was like to be worshiped by people who would go to the ends of the earth for you.

Then the day came… you had received the invitation for this a few weeks ago. The ghouls saw how it affected you. They saw the emotion hit you. And as the day came closer and closer they saw how physically and mentally exhausted you were getting.

The morning consisted of them helping you get ready. Making you the yummiest of breakfasts. Leaving a generous amount of time before you had to leave for some morning cuddles and then walking you to the car that was arranged to drive you there and back. They were anxious for you… they felt incredibly sad for you. They prayed to Him that by some miracle you wouldn't have to go and you could stay home with them where you are safe. Where you are loved. But alas… the world is a shitty place and unfortunatley there wasn't much that could be done.

You arrived back to your childhood home. With your heart in your throat and the pit in your stomach growing with each step to the door…. You took a deep breath and went inside.

You're instantly greeted by family you've not seen in a long time. They seem happy that you're here. You're pulled inside and over to the food table. You're offered snacks and drinks and old Aunties and Uncles seem genuinely interested in the adventures you've been having since moving out.

For just a moment… it's almost as if this whole thing is going to be okay. You start to tell yourself you've just over thought this whole day when there was really nothing to be worried about anyways. You take a breath and let yourself settle down a little.

And then you hear your mother. She comes over to the group of people you're currently in conversation with and completely takes over. She fusses over you. She cuts the conversation and begins to make your arrival all about herself.

There it is. That feeling again.

You spend the rest of the day listening to her complain and cry and whine about you leaving home. About how she blames herself for letting you go. How she didn't deserve that treatment.

You can barely walk two steps away before hearing her make this day all about herself. Her poor, hurt self.

Aside from her, you don't even see your father. He doesn't acknowledge you. He doesn't even say hi.

You've only been here for about 2 and a half hours before you decide this is enough. You are your own person. You do not deserve this and clearly you being invited here today was just a ploy for your mother to get her control back over you again. Well not today you old bitch.

You say your goodbyes to the people who matter, then you tell your mother she is never to contact you again.

You don't even give her the time of day to react before you turn on your heel and walk out the door. You don't look back.

You slip back into the car that brought you here… instructed not to leave until you get back inside it. And with that you take one last look at the hell you grew up in.

You promise yourself you are never going to return here.

If it means you're finally going to allow yourself to heal then you will never ever step foot back into that house ever again.

You zone out for the rest of the drive home. The driver pulls up to the entrance of the church, you thank them quietly and then without another word you step out and walk all the way back to your room. Back to your loves.

It feels like it takes an eternity for you to finally get back, but the second you open the door and see Mountain turn to see you…. You burst into tears.

He rushes over to scoop you up and cradle you in his arms. The common room you share with the ghouls has the comfiest couches you've ever experienced… so Mountain collapses into one of them with you still sobbing into his shoulder. Aether comes over, followed by Rain. Whose faces are etched with concern. Aether sits on the edge of the cushion and starts petting your hair… while Rain just drapes himself over you. Snuggling into you and allowing you to let everything out.

Eventually you settle down… enough for Mountain to ask if you want to join Swiss in his bed while Aether goes and gets Dew.

A ghoul pile sounds incredible right now.

You nod your head, Aether slips into Dewdrop's room to wake him up from his nap and you, Rain and Mountain all pile into Swiss’ bed. Who was also sound asleep.

You're squished between Swiss and Mountain, Dew stumbles in then snuggles into the little nook between you and Mountain. Aether and Rain get comfy under the covers and snuggle into whoever is closest.

You're told over and over again how much they love you. How much they missed you.

You tell them you've decided you're never gonna go back. You just can't.

Then when you look around and see a tangle of sleepy ghouls surrounding you… you know you've made the right decision.

The way they hold you. The way they encourage you to be your own person. The way they just love you endlessly.

You're wrapped up in Swiss and Mountain. Who are both unknowingly fighting each other for more of you to cuddle. You've got Dew who saw you and instantly needed to be with you. Screw his own bed. You are his safe space. Then you've got Rain and Aether who although may not be snuggled into you right now… you know damn well they will steal you away and keep you for themselves all day tomorrow.

And for the first time in a while… you finally feel at peace again.

#HELLO WORLD MARYS FIRST ANGST #i hope you like it anon #its 1:30am #please excuse me while i throw this at you and go to sleep #the band ghost #ghost band #nameless ghouls #mountain ghoul #rain ghoul #swiss ghoul #aether ghoul #dewdrop ghoul #marys musings

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