alastor used to be like the biggest staticmoth shipper ever because he thought it would make vox leave him alone until he made the horrifying realisation that vox is polyamorous and that vox being with val does nothing to stop his pursuit of him
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there are some headcanons where it's like. 'i would enjoy this as a light seasoning in fic but certain chunks of the fandom have become more committed to this than the actual canon and made it load-bearing in scenarios where it simply doesn't make sense'.
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i am working on something bigger at the moment so i can only offer you these silly guys :) <3
Edit: DISCLAIMER: Before you decide to watch Re-Animator, make sure to check for content warnings, there is a scene that a lot of people choose to skip!
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simon "i don't want kids" riley, but then he sees you with your cousin and is obsessed with the idea of giving you a baby. so. he fucks you, leaving no pole to discussion; you two gonna have a kid. a house with white fence. he's gonna even try to make a garden in the back, small greenhouse just for you to take care of.
ohhh and don't mention how obsessed he'd be with making a playground:/
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