#i love starting a post with no idea of what my conclusions will be. thoughts can only be sharpened through writing

[yamameta-inc]

okay so. i've always thought it was obvious that yoshiwara in flames arc's main relevance to gintama's overall narrative is as the prelude to rakuyou. like it's not thematically very interesting on its own, right? but it exists mainly for kagura and kamui's sake, establishing the sort of parallelism that gintama lives off of. it isn't really that connected to the red spider arc even though at first it might seem to be.

but i had no idea about the meaning of the name "rakuyou" until i saw @suchira 's post about it earlier today. and before that i also hadn't thought about utsuro's connection to the sun, which they've also talked about.

given everything that happens in rakuyou, this has expanded my thoughts quite a bit! i'm going be thinking through this as i go, so this is going to be me rambling.

housen is one of the few big arc villains who don't feel related to gintoki. jirocho, jiraia, oboro, takasugi--these kinds are obviously meant to be foils to gintoki. isaburo functions differently as a character, but even he gets directly compared to gintoki by nobume. but housen isn't really there for gintoki--he's there for kamui. he isn't a particularly interesting character, nor is his death very satisfying because of the wishywashy writing about hinowa showing kindness to him at the end. previously i'd thought that his thing with the sun was just a weaker example of craving something that would destroy you, and/or running away from one's weaknesses and vulnerabilities to the point that you become a sort of husk.

that's probably still a thing, but the introduction of the sun motif on the much more meaning-dense end of gintama adds so much more. because now the pre-existing thematic framework of gintama can do the heavy lifting for housen (who is, again, a pretty uninteresting character), hinowa (who is cool, but suffers from both Woman and Mom in shounen), and tsukuyo (who is very cool, but suffers egregiously from Woman in shounen).

so what is housen, really? he's the guy kamui chose to go with when making his very bad life decisions, the end result of the path he decided to pursue. for simplicity let's call him kamui bad end, though they aren't very comparable in canon itself because housen doesn't come across as nearly self-destructive enough. but the basic logic is that housen is one of those characters who gave up everything in single-minded pursuit of power--he's a flat character because he already "emptied himself out", as kamui says, before the series started. (but then he got scared and lonely, and all that.)

what's funny is that if housen is a bad end, then the guy who he considers his rival automatically comes to mind as an opposed route. i think it would be a serious stretch to call umibouzu the "good end" for kamui, and that's definitely part of the point in how the yato are written. but in any case, kamui clearly looked both ways (insert roads leading to two castles meme) and saw housen stereotypical villain bad end on one side, and his dad on the other. so obviously he chose housen.

rakuyou is a planet where it's always overcast. you could say that kamui chose to leave that "safety" in order to pursue something that shone much brighter to him, even if it would disintegrate him in the end. or, since rakuyou's name invokes the sun, you could say that he chose to flee the place of his weakness and pain, where his family was, like housen deciding to flee the sun and build an underground paradise.

when i go over my gintama cast tarot assignments, i always hesitate over hinowa. is she the Sun? or the Empress? how can i choose? and i think this is essentially the same conundrum. and i think the fact that she's both (thankfully, actual gintama storytelling isn't restricted to 1 character = 1 arcana) also provides us with the best answer here. hinowa is the object of yearning of both housen (as the sun) and of seita (as a mother). obviously, as i said before, the whole seita-hinowa thing is meant to lay the groundwork for kamui's motivations, and is also why he's introduced in this arc in the particular way that he is. but kamui is both seita and housen. he's the child yearning for his mother, but also the warlord who fears the sun so much he'll lock not only himself but countless others into the dark forever. but housen also desperately longed for the sun. kamui looks down on seita for being weak, and he looks down on housen for choosing to drown himself in vices at the end of his life. in the end, he doesn't kill either one of them.

if the sun is what kamui yearns for, he wants to leave rainy "rakuyou" behind--and/or he misses his home, his childhood, his family, even if these things feel like they will destroy him. or, if the sun is what kamui seeks to avoid, he wants to turn away from "rakuyou", all the things that hold him down so that he can throw himself into single-minded pursuit of self-destruction--and/or he's afraid of the weakness and pain that the sun inflicts on him, and desires to be strong enough that he won't feel them. see, a whole lot of words to say the same thing over and over.

i've always assigned housen the Emperor arcana. and i've often wondered, should it be umibouzu instead? should it be utsuro? and that, i think, is another illumination. thank you tarot for being an icon. it's so effective here because gintama is predictably built on parallels, and overlapping arcana assignments are bound to make you think: why?

in the end, housen builds a city underground in order to avoid the sun, but he also severs hinowa's ankles so that he can hold her, the sun proxy, captive in his grasp. he can't bear to feel sunlight, but he can't bear to let it go either. kamui is much the same, but he's young--he thinks he can let it go, his fears and regrets haven't caught up to him yet, because he still has so much to reach for. housen attained the peak of his strength and notoriety, and then there was little left for him.

what else happens in rakuyou? well, oboro and takasugi fight. oboro is sort of a seita figure in his own right, if seita had burned down yoshiwara in hopes that it would drive hinowa running to him. of course, seita didn't know that hinowa couldn't run; and oboro didn't know that shouyou couldn't, either.

but aside from seita and housen, there's another character in yoshiwara who yearns for the sun--not to possess it, but to protect it, to serve it. tsukuyo is an interesting character heavily let down by the realities of living in shounen jump. from my own understanding of sorachi's character, i don't think the following was intentional on his part. but i do think there are real reasons why these parallels are textually present (mainly through gintoki).

tsukuyo is the closest oboro has in this series to someone similar to him. not in the sense of a reflection in the mirror or hole-sided adjacency, but as in someone who sort of has a similar job and background to him. or had, anyway. as i implied earlier, the few, specific, clearly intentional similarities she has with gintoki (hello red spider) bleed over into her similarities with oboro, of course, because gintoki and oboro are... you know. just look at them.

tsukuyo swore herself to hinowa, but technically she was working under housen. she led housen's paramilitary force--fortunately, the hyakka loved her a lot more than the naraku were probably ever able to have an opinion about oboro. i don't think tsukuyo and oboro would ever get along--but they did have the same job. oboro did it in the heavens, tsukuyo did it underground. anyway, hinowa "saved" tsukuyo by teaching her about fighting from inside one's cage, and so tsukuyo gladly walked into the cage, just like oboro returning to the naraku without shouyou. because they thought it would be worth it. and also because tsukuyo had been groomed from a young age for the Hole (apologies to those who haven't read my ouroboros essay), to give up on her selfhood, and also to kill her sensei (hello gintoki). but hinowa remained around, unlike shouyou. tsukuyo never thought she could really free her--but protecting her, being able to see her, was enough.

oboro's life problem is a bit like if hinowa and housen were the same person. but kamui would see in that pairing only a reflection of his parents. and also, kouka is a bit like if hinowa and utsuro were the same person. but utsuro is already like if shouyou and utsuro were the same person--because oboro's actual life problem is that shouyou and utsuro are the same person.

i've spoken a lot about tarot, but the moon in gintama has little to do with the Moon arcana. in gintama it's the backdrop, the symbol of promises--promises made, promises fulfilled, promises held on to dearly whether they can be fulfilled or not. i don't truly think that the sun as represented by hinowa interacts directly with this. but tsukuyo and oboro share moon-related names, and their promises (or rather, their vows of devotion) towards hinowa/shouyou are one-sided. one-sided promises aren't a problem in gintama--our silver-haired protagonist wouldn't be alive if it weren't for them.

if the naraku, if utsuro, if oboro under utsuro is associated with the sun through the yatagarasu, perhaps it's because of the evaporation of the promise through the eclipsing of the moon. shouka sonjuku, after all, burned down, and utsuro emerged from a pyre. and though i think that the sun is overall a motif much more strongly associated with the yato--that which they avoid, are weak to, and secretly long for--i don't think that's incompatible with the crow-meaning.

rabbits can die of loneliness, you know--or they can die from overheating in the sun. i think the question here is, is this a trick question? are those two the same thing?

#i love starting a post with no idea of what my conclusions will be. thoughts can only be sharpened through writing #gintama #kamui #tsukuyo #oboro

[feeder86]

Feeder 86: The Top Ten

Can you believe that the Feeder86 ‘Orginal Gainer Stories’ blog will soon be posting the two hundredth story? I thought of many ways to celebrate. But then I stopped and realised that I would probably be best using the time to address one of the questions I get asked about most frequently. Which of the stories do I personally like the most?

This was not an easy list to make as I very rarely go back to re-read my own work after I have finished editing and posting them. This is not because I do not like them, but because I always see bits that I want to change. Nevertheless, this project was the perfect opportunity to revisit a few oldies that I remember being very proud of at the time. 

Hopefully you will see this list for what it is: a glimpse into how I write, my motivations and drive; rather than just a self indulgent pat on the back for myself. Yuck!

So, with that being said, let us begin...

#10 The Feeders’ Formula: This tale certainly had to be placed into the list. After all, it is the one that kicked off ‘Original Gainer Stories’ all those years ago. There are many amazing examples of instant body weight transformation stories out there. I felt that I needed to write this one as my contribution to the genre. It went down well at the time. I swiftly wrote a Part Two, then followed it up with others (The Feeders’ Formation, The Feeders’ Formalities, The Feeders’ Foreclosure, The Feeders’ Forecast, The Feeders’ Former Years), becoming something of an ongoing saga in recent years; focusing on the different Feeders from that very first meeting. As a writer who sometimes struggles to find the ending, these are wonderful to write as they all have the same inevitable conclusion. There is also so much freedom to be had when you’re working with characters who are pretty much pure evil. I know so much more about the Feeders than I’ve ever written down, so it is great to tease out those little details with each new installment. The newest of these tales (The Feeders’ Foreplay) was the darkest yet, but seems to have provoked a very favourable reaction from many. Who knows what the Feeders may get up to next? I do! And you can find out too, once we start a whole new sweeps season of stories this April! Come with me into The Feeders' Fortress!

#9 Only One: Where do I start? Only One has my absolute favourite type of feeder. Ben is big, sexy and very in control. He’s one of those rare types of guys who always stays on top and is a step ahead of absoultely everyone he meets. Who wouldn’t fall for him? I certainly did! In fact, I loved him so much that I wrote an entire prequel for him (and none of you even noticed!) Check out Rewire if you want to see how Ben became the man we know and love.

#8 The Wright Boys: The idea of a weight gain that cannot be stopped or controlled is a tempting one for many. How much easier would it be if you didn’t have to second guess your choices or face the pressure to lose weight? This was the first tale of what I see as ‘The Curses’ saga that eventually bled into many other stories (including another one on this list!) and culminated in Wright vs Beckett. However, this story remains my personal favourite of these. If you’re a fan of looking for crossovers between my stories, these are some of the most explicitly linked. I followed it up with a spin-off tale (The Wright Boys: DNA), but continue to have ideas about how I could go back to these boys in the future. Watch this space.

#7 Making Monsters: The title of this story really does give away how I felt about it at the time. This is quite the saga, spread over into not just two, but three parts! It began as a story that was very similar to Blackmailed; a tale that I had written previously about a guy voyeristically enjoying seeing his friend fatten up her boyfriend. However, this story evolved even further for me, with Tommy’s love of eating and gaining weight being both his greatest love, and his biggest shame. His denial only heightened the tension for me, and, when he does eventually give in, the gains feel all the more satisfying as a result.

#6 The Pig Feed: It’s not easy to write a gainer story where there isn’t another character spurring the events along and encouraging things. In this tale however, that role is given to a very tasty and surprisingly addictive pig feed mixture that Steve gets himself hooked on. It’s a story that I really enjoyed writing and still feel very happy with. I have considered writing more stories around this interesting feed. However, I am yet to do so; deciding (for now at least) that things are perhaps best left as they are. But, feel free to let me know your thoughts on this.

#5 Farm Boy: Whether you grew up in a big city, or a small rural community, like Hayden in this story, we can all relate to having desires and attractions that those around us don’t understand. And, thanks to how well connected we are these days, we now know what it’s like to realise that you’re not actually alone, and the whirlwind of excited emotions that follow. I enjoyed writing this story because I, quite simply, fell completely in love with Hayden. As kinky as he was, he still retained that fresh faced innocence throughout. If any of my characters were destined to be together forever, I imagine that these two would be my top choice.

#4 Keeping a Crush: This is one of those stories that I wrote in a matter of hours, and I was so pleased with it when I was done. Getting the train to go to work is not necessarily something that many Americans have to do, and so the location had to be switched to the UK (quite refreshing, I thought!). For me, it’s one of those really rare instances where placing very solid restrictions on the structure of a story (In this case, having it all take place during the commute to and from work) and finding that it actually elevates the sexual tension and mood. All scenes take place in public settings. All conversations could, in theory, be overheard. These days, so many people meet online and flirt for weeks by messaging back and forth, before they even see each other for the first time. Nowadays, for better or for worse, the actual, real fantasy is finding a connection with someone you just see in the real world; perhaps with a person you literally just met on the way to work...

If you’ve not read this one, I really would highly recommend it.

#3 To the Max: Stories with a magical element to them are either loved or hated. However, I find that this tale walks that line very successfully. Ned gets his hands on a love potion and makes straight guy, Max, fall for him. I’m sure we’ve all been there with that fantasy! However, it is in the consequences of inviting someone into your life, someone that you actually know very little about, that the entire eroticism of this story is based. I won’t spoil it for those who have not read it, but believe me when I say that things soon start getting very interesting indeed…

#2 Tommy’s Two Hundred. Don’t recognise this one? Well, that's because none of you have read it yet. 

Now, I’m not just saying this because I want you all to come back for the two hundreth story, but this is genuinely one of my absolute favourites. For my big milestone stories in the past, I have written something specifically for that event (Wright vs Beckett, The Seven Feeders of Finn). However, this is just a tale that I adored writing and decided to hold back for you all, especially for this occasion. It’s a story of domination and submission within a fairly open, but very kinky, relationship. Strapping Hunter plays the part of a very controlling feeder, making me break many of my own rules and stretching my boundaries to the absolute limits. You’ll either love him, or you’ll hate him. That’s all I’m going to say…

Also, this story is going to be the first Feeder86 story that will be fully illustrated. It’s all thanks to the amazing talents of Spellwell9 who was given an advanced copy and asked to imagine the characters in four different scenes. I cannot wait for you to see this!

Put it in your diary. All will be revealed from Friday 5th April…

#1 F80 Control: This is perhaps a controvercial choice (especially as my #1). I have previously admitted that this story strays a little from its purpose of being a gainer story. In other words, I get very caught up in the background story that is being told. However, I feel that the science fiction genre is surprisingly underused in tales of weight gain. Yet, the combination of Aritificial Intelligence and submission seemed, to me, to be the perfect blend. It really is a beast of a story if you can follow it all the way through to its conclusion. 

With the advent of improved artificial intelligence software in recent years, I felt the time was right to develop the world further, with the addition of F80 Ctrl Alt Del; a spin-off tale set slightly before the main story. Then, unable to help myself, I followed this up again with another companion story, F80: Kidnap and Control. 

The reason I chose this universe as my favourite is because this is where I am happiest writing. With AI, I don’t need to consider the morality or motivations - I know exactly what their aims are and I can see multiple ways in which it will cause conflict with humanity (and their waistlines!) I would also love to write more for this world one day, and I even left a little unused subplot in the last story that I think would provide the perfect starting-off point for another chapter. Will I ever write it? Well, we’ll have to wait and see…

So, there you have it! The the complete list!

This was a much harder exercise than I expected when I first embarked upon it. Stories like: Jiggle the Jock, Meticulous, Rule Number One, Freaks, Leftovers I and II, Ethan: The Secret Feeder and, not fogetting The Consequences I, II and III all crept in and out of the list, unfortunatley missing out on the final cut. There are many, many others, of course. But this list cannot go on forever...

So, why not tell me which ones were your favourites? Feel free to write in the comments and post a link to any other stories that you have enjoyed from myself, or from other authors. Hopefully, if we all work together, this could become a great resource for people in the future, filled with signposts and reccommendations.  

Also, don’t forget the Feeder86 Contents page where you can find links and descriptions of all the 200 stories posted so far (as well as plot outlines for upcoming tales as well). Please continue to enjoy the vast catalogue of stories, and even have a go yourself! I love supporting the many new gainer fiction writers who contact me. So please do get in touch if you need advice, or to talk through your ideas. Let’s all encourage a whole new generation of people to get typing away! I’m sure you will cheer them on just as much as I will.

Thank you to everyone who supports the stories blog here on Tumblr. Keep checking in every Friday througout April for a whole new sweeps season to celebrate this milestone. Stories will include: Tommy's Two Hundred, Train for a Gain, The Feeders' Fortress and The 1% (a companion story to The 5%). For now, I thank you all for taking time out to sit and read the very bizarre tales that sprout from my mind. You are all wonderful.

Happy 200 stories!

Feeder86

#gainer fiction #gainer stories #gainerstory #gayfeeder #gainerfic #gainer story #gayfeedee #gay feedee #gainerstories

[azulpitlane]

i wish you would I ln4

pairings: lando norris x reader, exbf! mason mount x reader summary: part two of got love struck notes: kinda dragged making this but finals are finally over so send me some requests pls🤸‍♀️ this ones kinda angsty and there's lots of miscommunication sorry hehe part three, masterlist

yourusername posted a story 2h ago

The night was full of partying, drinking and dancing as you celebrated your best friend's 23rd birthday. The night quickly turned into a mess when you went to the bar to get everyone more drinks. When you came back your friends were nowhere to be seen, you assumed they were in the dance floor but when you went to check, they weren't there either. To make matters worse, you had put your phone in your friend's purse for safe keeping so you had no way to contact them. The panic quickly sobered you up as you looked everywhere for them but instead you found different a familiar face.

"Mason?"

"Y/n! Hey, I didn't realize you were here."

Your ex-boyfriend went for a hug as he greeted you. You and Mason ended your relationship over a year ago, and though you felt no animosity towards the football player, the breakup had been hard as everybody on the internet seemed to have an opinion on it. It was mutual breakup, you both were in different stages in your life and it just seemed like it wasn't your time.

"Yeah, I was celebrating y/bff/n's birthday with a few other girls, but I have no idea where they are and they have my cell." You were starting to get frustrated as you felt like they left without you.

"Oh no, I would help you look but I'm about to head out. Let me give you a ride home, I would hate for you to be here by yourself."

You knew if somebody saw you and Mason alone it would cause chaos all over again, but you had no other choice at the moment and you just wanted to go to bed. You agreed and as you left you both were oblivious to the cameras taking pictures of you leaving through the back door together.

As you pulled up to your hotel you smiled at Mason and thanked him.

"You're a lifesaver Mase seriously, I don't know what I would've done if I never found them or you."

"You don't have to thank me y/n. I will always look out for you even if we're broken up. I still care for you."

"You're a great friend, I'll always look out for you too."

"And um I have to ask,"

You could tell he was nervous as he scratched the back of his neck and his cheeks flushed slightly.

"What is it Mase?"

"Do you love him?"

You were surprised by the question, not expecting him to bring up Lando.

"Um yeah-yes. I love him so much, I can't even find the words to describe it to be honest. I don't think any song I write can even measure to how strong my love is for him."

"That's good, yeah, that's great. I just, I'm happy you found your person y/n. You know, I thought that person would be me, but if you're happy, than I am too. I guess we just weren't meant to be."

"Mase, you're one of the most amazing people I've met, seriously. I don't think it was ever in the cards for us, but you've taught me so much and you'll always have a special place in my heart. You will find your person one day, I promise."

You smiled at Mason as you spoke, not realizing you had given him the closure he had been needing for a year.

Lando was freaking out.

He had been sent the article of you and Mason over 5 times already and you hadn't answered your phone in over 2 hours. His mind was reeling as he was thinking about what you could possibly be doing right now. Even though he trusted you more than anything, he couldn't help but let it get to him. Why aren't you answering?

He knew your phone was charged and turned on considering he can still see your location. As he checked it again, he realized you were no longer at the club. You were at someone's apartment. Why weren't you at your hotel? Who's apartment was this?

Before he let himself jump to conclusions, he called y/bff/n knowing you two went out together.

"LANDOOOO! HI."

"Y/bff/n, hey is y/n with you?"

"Y/n? Oh nooooo. Aw I miss her Lan, is she with you?"

"What? No, how could she be with me? I'm in Monaco right now."

"Oh. Then I'm not so sure."

Lando could feel himself getting frustrated as he spoke with the clearly intoxicated girl.

"Okay, did she go home with you? With anyone else?"

"I don't know, you should probably call her or something."

"I did, over 10 times in the past hour."

"Oh maybe she's busy! Let me know how it goes, bye!"

"Wait-"

She hung up. Lando was going to throw up. He was never considered himself as an insecure guy, but he couldn't help but feel there was something going on. He's seen those tweets and comments saying how much everyone loved you and Mason together. What if those comments made you realize they were right? What if you were with Mason right now? Lando wanted to cry, scream and throw up all at once.

Three loud knocks woke you up from your beauty sleep. You were still in last night's clothes as you were too tired to even change after the nights disaster. You opened the door and your best friend ran in and hugged you.

"Y/N! I'm so so sorry for leaving you all by yourself. I was completely blacked out and I guess I was acting sloppy because y/f/n said we got kicked out of the club! I was acting too drunk and they got mad im so so sorry, this is all my fault and we tried to tell security to get you but they were so mean and-"

"Y/bff/n stop. It's fine, it was your birthday, you deserved to act a little crazy."

"Still babe, I'm sorry. Now that article is being spread like crazy and it's all because of me."

"What are you talking about? What article?"

"Shit. I forgot, here's your phone. But I have to warn you, people saw you leaving the club with Mason last night and the rumors have already begun. Im sorry hun."

Oh god.

Lando🧡 15 missed calls 5 unread messages

YourPublicist 2 missed calls 1 unread message

Danny Ric🤠 2 unread messages

Y/f/n 8 unread messages

The notifications were endless as you scrolled through your phone but there was only one that you really cared about. You immediately called Lando, afraid he was angry at you for this mess.

"Lan, baby, I'm so sorry for worrying you. I just opened your messages, y/bff/n had my phone all night." You immediately gave him a run down of the night as you knew what it was like to be in his position. The media has circulated so many rumors about your relationship overnight and you knew how hard that was. You had dealt with it all throughout your career and you were heartbroken it was happening to Lando because of you.

"That's weird because I actually called y/bff/n last night and she did not mention she had your phone."

"She was so out of it last night, she probably forgot she even had it. Oh god, she was downing shots I'm honestly not even surprised she got kicked out, she was so crazy-"

"Y/n, you don't understand, I have not slept all night. I was worried and everyone is talking about this. I look like an idiot in this situation."

You knew Lando was going to be upset but after your explanation, you didn't expect for him to still be angry at you.

"I know, the night was a mess, but nothing happened with Mason. He just dropped me off and I'm grateful it was him and not some random taxi."

"You're grateful it was him? You're grateful these pictures are all over the internet?"

"That's not what I meant! I meant he was the safest option at that moment, I had nobody else."

"Yeah. Half of the internet is happy it was him. People are actually celebrating thinking you guys are back together."

"Don't listen to them Lan, me and Mase are never getting back together. People will accept it over time and this will blow over."

"Why are you being so casual about this? Do you even know how I felt last night when you weren't answering. I was going to be sick thinking what you could possibly be doing with him."

"Lan, I told you nothing happened. Why aren't you believing me?"

"This is just all too much." Lando knew he was overreacting a bit. Your story made sense and it all lined up, but he had spent the entire night overthinking and reading the rumors about you two that he couldn't get them out of his mind. He loved you so much and last night made him realize how easily he can lose you and that thought terrified him. You were everything to him, but did you really feel the same way?

"Are you breaking up with me? Seriously? Over a stupid tabloid, I can't believe this." You felt betrayed. Did he not trust you?

"I dont know, it's just hard for me wrap my head around this right now."

"Lan, my flight to Monaco leaves in a few hours, how about we just talk about this in person when our heads are clear?"

Lando was getting angrier as the call went on. He knew his insecurities were getting the best of him right now but he felt like you weren't listening to him. You were trying to brush this off when the whole world was going against you two right now.

"Wow Y/n. My heads pretty fucking clear right now. You know what? Maybe it's best if you don't come, yeah?"

"Yeah, okay."

one week later

liked by user 1, user 2, masonmount and 3,593,304 others

yourusername life atm. p.s all new music released from now on is coming from the comfort of my own bed <3

comments on this post have been limited

yourbff love u. coming over rn🏃‍♀️

yourusername pls dont forget snacks

taylorswift need this new album right now

danielricciardo ❤️‍🩹

liked by user1, user2 and 231,583 others

dailymail Singer Y/n Y/l/n spotted once again with Manchester United star, Mason Mount, leaving a restaurant with a few other football players. Are the two officially back together? Rumors of her breakup with Formula One driver, Lando Norris have been circulating for over a week now after Y/l/n and Mount were seen leaving a club together. Read more on this new love triangle in our article linked in our bio.

view comments

user1 im so excited for this album HAHAHA

user2 team mason idc

user3 funny how the last song she dropped was titled slut, if the shoe fits :)

user4 slut shaming in 2023? disgusting.

user5 i refuse to believe her and lando broke up sorry

user6 delulu is the solulu atp😁

notes: another cliffhanger!!!🤸‍♀️also this isn't proofread at all my bad heh

tags: @jayrami3 @whoselly @roseseraj @saturnbloom77 @landowecanbewc

#lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris x y/n #lando norris imagine #lando norris fanfic #ln4 #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #lando norris x you #lando norris smau #mason mount x reader

[monakisu]

I want you to know that I came across a random post of your Death Note art, went "Awww, oh my gosh, with the way this person draws Light I think Akechi would look fantastic in the same style!", clicked onto your profile, and then saw your newest artwork was Akechi. I'm still kind of cackling over it and thought maybe you'd find it funny too. Your art is SO cute, I'm very happy I found it <333

HAHA THAT’S AMAZING (<< was an akechi artist wayyyy before i fell head over heels for light)

but rlly… theyre so similar:

- brunet

- asshole

- pretty boy

- mass murderer

- black-haired homoerotic rival

at the end of the day, the key difference is one is a top and the other is a bottom.

ok but seriously, they’re vastly different characters on a fundamental level:

- light was handed everything him on a silver platter: family, friends, looks, intellect, a comfortable life… as a bastard child of a sex worker and now an orphan, goro had to fight his way to his current position and will always harbor a terrible sense of inferiority (light is completely confident in his absolute superiority, Always (that’s why the challenge of L sent him off the deep end of obsession lol))

- light genuinely sees himself as a hero, while goro would like to feel the same but is nonetheless depressingly aware of his villain’s journey (his undesirable position as the detective vs the underdog phantom thieves, his string of assassinations, his ultimate dirty bloody goal, etc.).

- light’s motive is about the world’s salvation, cleansing, the birth of his ideal reality (very messianic of him with the slightest loving tinge of mary cradling her lamb hahaha) while goro is laser-focused on ruining this one asshole’s life in particular, vengeance and revenge at once! one’s focused on rebirth, and the other gunning straight for death! they both use murder to get what they want but light probably floats around thinking himself so clean and divine as mother of the world (ignorance is bliss) while goro is constantly desperately trying to cover up his suspiciously red hands with his gloves hehehe… they’re both constantly striving for perfection, just with varying levels of self-awareness!!

- goro is a canonical loner; light has a horde of friends; this is probably due to a difference in public persona! goro is an untouchable idea of what he thinks a human should be and is completely out of the loop when it comes to normal social interactions (believes opening with hegel will instantly endear himself to the average person (luckily he inflicted that upon akira who is decidedly not average in the slightest)), light is implied to be more down-to-earth and even slightly goofy (he’s gaming decorum like an advanced speedrunner)! it’s probably good how distant goro is, because getting any closer to him will allow you to see how off-putting and uncanny he is, sorta like an AI-generated image—seams in the wrong places and far too much teeth LOL. meanwhile light has this whole shebang so thoroughly figured out that he’s BORED with it all! he’d like to move on to the next game (with L), thank you!! light definitely still exudes uncanny creepiness (it’s his natural state of being) especially when he zones out or starts hysterically cackling out of nowhere at his own thoughts, but he’s a hundred times better at masking compared to goro due to a better upbringing. goro is starved for the adoring friends he sees akira easily picking up one after another; light couldn’t give less of a shit because he’s always had those trivial luxuries! he’d much rather prefer an adoring WORLD!!

- then there’s the difference in how they die… one started out surrounded with company but ultimately died alone, while it’s the opposite for the other (if you count the de-realization of maruki’s reality as goro’s “death” (which i don’t)).

- in conclusion, light and goro are like funhouse mirror reflections of each other!!! one is a pampered lapdog getting a taste of rabies and letting loose, while the other is a starving wolf trying to domesticate itself for treats and headpats!! and i <3 them both!!!!!

anyways i may be wrong about light because im going purely off of fics, tumblr shitposts, and my own imagination :] feel free to school me in a way that won’t destroy my delusions!

#美迪 archive #💡princess posting⋆˚✿˖° #mailbox 💌 #light yagami #death note #goro akechi #persona 5 #persona 5 royal #art #artists on tumblr #digital art #doodle #rkgk #画画 #涂鸦

[sserajeans]

bff premium?

kang haerin x fem! reader

synopsis: after distancing yourself from a friend you've unfortunately fallen for, the rest of the group catches onto her sour mood, and all fingers point to you

genre + others: fluff, mutual pining, friends to lovers, non-idol au, high school setting, friend group is rly just nwjns + yn

notes: i swear yail update will come i just had this in my drafts and felt bad for not posting for a while!!, requested, IM SO SORRY IT TOOK THIS LONG I REALLY WANTED TO BE IN TBE MOOD WHEN I WROTE THIS 😭😭😭😭 luckily haerin posted some pics that ive gotten completely insane over.. so!

you and haerin always had something special between the both of you.

you two met in middle school, when your homeroom teacher was assigning seats. she was a quiet kid, and so were you, but one of you had to get over it. so when the class was given a paired activity to "get-to-know each other", you were forced to come out of your shell, and haerin welcomed you (surprisingly) warmly.

it started off as a strictly-seatmate type of friendship, where you two would only interact whenever it was needed. but as you spent more and more time working on assigned activities together, you were beginning to realize that maybe you enjoyed her company more than you thought, and so did she.

eventually, you two began spending time together outside of class; during recess, lunchtime, sometimes after class in the library. it didn't take long until the both of you became really close, a known tandem. you were her closest friend, she was yours, and everyone knew that.

over time, your friends became hers as well, and so whenever everyone was free, your little friend group composed of minji, hanni, danielle, haerin, hyein, and you, would hang out together. at a clubroom, the courtyard, the gymnasium, a cafe, the cafeteria, anywhere.

but no matter how many close friends surrounded you two, it seemed clear to anyone that you were closer to each other than anyone else. the same way hanni was to hyein, and minji was to danielle.

now your feelings for haerin grew a couple years later, and you only admitted them to yourself in your sophomore year of high school. that's about four years or so since you two met, and about a year ago from today.

from the beginning, you had always found haerin pretty. it wasn't hard to admit. she was nice to look at, and the way her cat-like eyes turned into crescent moons whenever she smiled ear to ear... yeah, you knew you were enjoying it a little too much.

and it only worsened the more you got to know each other, because you found out there were so many things to adore.

the way she wouldn't stop talking about frogs, her love for tomatoes, her eyes and the way she blinks slowly when she looks at something she loves (a cat-like habit you picked up when she was watching a recipe video for an avocado dish).

the list could go on and on if no one stopped you, and after talking about it to your mom (who was very supportive of everything, by the way), you came to the conclusion that you liked haerin, in a "more-than-a-friend way".

but you had no idea, not a single clue, on what to do with that realization. what would happen if you told her? if you didn't? would she feel the same? would she be disgusted if she didn't?

crushes and romance was one of the most untouched conversation topics between the two of you, so you had no idea if she was even open to such ideas.

but the one thing you knew for sure, was that she was your best friend, and you were hers. you loved your best friend, and so did she. in a different way, or not, you felt like she still deserved to know. you hated hiding things from her, and history proves it only made things worse whenever you did.

so you decided to confess. great!

and suddenly you see her acting all lovey dovey with danielle.

well, in retrospect, they weren’t exactly being lovey dovey, and you kind of knew that.

danielle was just big on affection, as she was to everyone, and is one of the few people whose pda was complied with (or tolerated) by haerin.

and despite not being much of a pda fan, in that moment, you badly wanted to be in danielle’s place, comfortably smothering your best friend with all the love in the world.

oh, and it didn’t help that people started a couple rumors about them being a couple.

sure, everyone knew you were each other’s number one, each other’s best of best friend, but the way you two showed affection with each other was very different from the way danielle does, to again, everyone, but you didn’t care about that.

the bitter sting in your stomach seeing the two of them made you realize that it was probably a much better idea to just get rid of your feelings (you’re an idiot, you’ve had them for years. they won’t just go away). after all you didn’t want to ruin what you had with two of your closest friends.

and with that goal in mind, so began your plan to avoid kang haerin at all costs!

you’re really stupid.

in the process of avoiding haerin, you indirectly were avoiding the rest of the girls too. you mostly hung out with your other classmates from different subjects like woonhak and eunchae. and whenever you were asked about it by hanni (mostly), you shrugged it off and said it was just “school things you needed help with”.

it was a dumb excuse. everyone knew you were at least top 5 of the class. and what kind of help were you getting if you were going out to places like arcades and karaoke spots anyways?

the girls were bothered, but not as much as haerin was. she was often visibly in a sour mood, ate half of her usual cafeteria servings, and would talk a lot less than she already did.

they were worried for the both of you simultaneously, but hyein and minji put two and two together, which only doubled their worry.

initially, it was just you and haerin's separate well-being they were concerned about, but now that they realized the time frame in which you began distancing yourself matched up with when haerin's mood went down, they were now also worried about what could've happened between you two.

so they took it amongst themselves to at least know what was going on.

"haerin-ah."

"haerin."

"kang."

"kang haerin!"

haerin looked up from her untouched tray of food, her chopsticks poking around slices of beef in sauce.

"hm?"

minji sat across her as the first two to arrive in their usual lunch table.

"i was asking if anything happened between you and y/n or something..."

"oh..."

haerin looked back down and continued playing around with her food before sighing and looking back up, muttering a couple words.

"wish i knew."

"y/n-unnie! is something up between you and haerin-unnie?"

"huh? what?" you were sat in the sound proofed booth of the music room, guitar plugged in an amplifier. you squinted at hyein's figure from outside the room, putting your guitar on its stand and motioning her to come inside.

"can you repeat that? i can't really hear anything from in there..." scratching the back of your neck, you gave hyein a seat from behind the booth's drum sets.

"i was asking!" hyein took a deep breath, you raised your eyebrows signaling her to continue. "if you and haerin-unnie have something going on."

"h-huh? what? what something?"

"no not like that! i meant you know, did you fight or... 'cause she's been so sour lately! she wouldn't even give me her leftover tomatoes... she wasn't even gonna eat them! like at all!"

the expression on your face shifted to what most would identify as worry and concern.

"...she hasn't been eating the tomatoes? she loves those..."

"yeah! and so much more! anyways, minji-unnie and i deduced it was about you, so here i am." hyein gleamed with pride while you chuckled in amusement.

you leaned over to mess with the top of her head and sighed, "i'll talk to her. you don't worry about a thing, okay?"

and you kept your word to the younger girl. how could you not?

you spotted haerin alone in one of the clubrooms, cleaning up some of the materials they used for the day. knocking on the room's door startled her a bit, given by the minor flinch, but she relaxed seeing it was you.

still, you could tell her facial expression was slightly guarded, and it hurt you, but you definitely deserved it.

she turned back around to continue organizing the materials into three separate boxes, not saying a word.

"hyein said you haven't been eating the tomatoes in your lunch." you slowly took your steps towards her and stopped when you were a couole steps away on the other side of the desk she used to arrange the items. "or your lunch at all..."

she paused to look up at you and give you a short glare, before walking to move a box to the teacher's desk in the room. you followed a few steps behind her, arms behind your back as your fingers fiddled with each other.

"you shouldn't... skip your meals, you know..." you muttered, clearly intimidated by haerin’s cold facade. "health... you need to eat..."

seeing as how you still had no reply, you decided it was probably best to just go straight to the point.

"hey... i'm sorry..."

you were used to haerin not saying that much, especially when you got to know her more and she explained that it was simply just too tiring. but you were also always the exception to that.

whenever it was just the two of you, one would be surprised to see haerin as the louder one. talkative, always rambling about something, while you smiled, nodded, and gave comments whenever necessary.

"yangi, please say something"

haerin loved that nickname more than anything. it was pretty foul to pull that card, actually. you came up with it when you two were having a friendly debate over what animal she resembled.

"i don't know where you're getting cat, y/n."

"are you crazy? how are you getting frog!"

"literally everything!"

"no. you're simply incorrect. you're literally a cat in human form!"

"absolutely not!"

"whatever you say, goyangi."

"what did you just call me?"

"go-yang-i. goyangi. go. yangi."

"you're so... annoying."

"okay, yangi."

she let out a frustrated sigh, looking up at you with what felt like her eyes piercing through your soul.

"so you get to disappear on me without a word, but i have to reply when you speak to me for the first time in 8 days?"

yes, she's been counting the days.

but wouldn't you be too if she did the same?

well, you probably would've confronted her a little sooner. but it's not that haerin didn't care enough to do something about it, she just genuinely didn't want to overstep space you might've been needing.

"thats what i thought." she let go of the box, turned her back, and walked back to the desks to grab the 2nd box.

"look... i'm sorry, i really am." you immediately caught up to her with a few steps, eyes pleading with nothing but guilt.

"if you are then can you at least tell me why you were avoiding me?"

she stared at you, observing how your thumbs rubbed over your fingers, or how your breathing got a little heavy, both nervous habits she picked up.

noting how you probably weren't going to say much anytime soon, she let go of the 2nd box to face you.

"you're my best friend, y/n"

that hurt didn't it?

a reminder that that was probably all you were going to be to her.

"do you know how..." haerin took a deep inhale, it was beginning to get shaky. her mind was a mess, thinking of the best words to express the hurt you made her feel over the past few days. but she couldn't.

"nevermind."

knowing the way haerin acted added on to your internal conflict. haerin usually wasn't afraid to speak her mind when it was just the two of you, but now she is. she couldn't. and you knew it was your fault.

but were you really ready to tell her you liked her? now? you wanted to show her you were sorry, but it really wasn't that easy.

if things go wrong, she could continue the game and avoid you forever. and just like that you'd lose your best friend, ruining the group's dynamics as well.

but you figured your brain was just making up excuses for you to not tell her out of fear. what mattered the most now was letting her know you were sorry, and that hurting her was never part of the plan.

"look, i'll tell you, because i really truly am sorry for hurting you," you start off, hands in the air motioning whatever. "but i-... i need you to promise me..."

"what?" her voice was much softer now. still cold, but not sharp enough to make it feel like you were stabbed every time she spoke.

"that you won't be... weirded out, or disgusted, or leave the room. you'll talk about it with me."

"you're the one whos been avoiding the talking y/n, i hope you know that."

you often forget how quick she was with her words. it was like a whip. painful, fast, happens before you even noticed it did. you were just so used to her nicer side. she's never been frustrated with you.

"right..."

you took a deep breath, mentally composing a script of how you felt and how you were going to say it. just like the million times you've practiced to the mirror at home.

"i've been avoiding you 'cause i think i like you. or, well, i know i like you. in a more than a friend way. and i have been for a while, and i was going to tell you because i didn't like hiding things from you, but i saw you with dani one day and i just- i don't know. okay? it's stupid. i know she's like that with everyone, but i didn't like it when she was with you, so i decided that i'd rather just get rid of how i felt to make it easier and to not ruin any of our friendships. so i figured the only way to do that was if i didn't talk to you. clearly that affected us both in a way i didn't want or intend. i'm sorry i ignored you. it was selfish of me to not think about how you could've felt throughout everything."

haerin took a minute just standing there, trying to process the hell of a bomb of information you just dropped on her. her cheeks were gradually growing red the more she realized what you were trying to tell her.

"hey... hello... did you hear what i was saying... or do i have to repeat it... because i'd really rather not..." you waved your palm in front of the girl who seemed to be frozen in place. "but if that's what it takes then i guess tha—"

you stopped talking as haerin slowly approached you, wrapping her arms around your waist and burying her face on your shoulder. she was careful to do so slowly, giving you a chance to move away if you needed to. she knows you're not into physical touch, and it just wasn't exactly the norm for the two of you.

"i was worried."

"hey, i've been eating fine. it's you tha-"

"no, not that. i was worried you might've overheard dani and i talk about you when i told her i like you, and that you were disgusted by it and didn't want to be... associated with me because of it. and maybe you just didn't know how to tell me so you went with the silent treatment.... i was going nuts, y/n. that's why hyein was talking about skipping lunch and whatever. all i could think about was why."

you could feel the guilt eating you up bit by bit on the inside. it quite literally broke your heart to hear haerin, the girl with not a lot of words, express the effect of what you did. it was like acid, burning up your stomach, your chest, your head. except that acid was guilt.

"oh god... i'm so sorry, yangi... the whole thing was a really selfish move and— and i should've thought about you first. i really am so so sorry..."

you held her closer and softly shifted your body weight from one foot to the other, swaying the two of you softly, somewhat like a cradle calming a baby down to sleep.

"hey... it's okay... i know you didn't mean it. i'm just glad we're fine now."

you two stay in that position for a couple of minutes, feeling each other relax over time as a result of finally resolving the conflict you had caused.

that was until haerin broke the silence.

"so... hate to be the person to ask but..."

"what are we?"

the two of you laughed for a while at how the question was so cliche and cringe yet necessary.

"yes."

"bff premium?"

"y/n!"

"i'm kidding! i'm kidding! but... i say we take things slow? get a little used to this, whatever it is, whatever it could be?"

"yeah, i like that."

the two of you smiled at each other with nothing but warmth and care, before ultimately pulling in for another hug.

"minji-unnie you owe me 2,000 won."

"hyein you're being too loud."

"huh do you hea-?..." haerin pulled away with a surprised face, interrupted by y/n quickly stomping towards the door, slamming it open to reveal minji and hyein falling forward to the floor. a result of relying on the door for support.

"seriously? i expected hyein, but minji-unnie?" you sighed in disappointment, haerin walking over to see what the fuss was all about.

"listen, it's for hanni she placed bets too."

"...lame excuse."

"KANG HAERIN!"

#newjeans x reader #newjeans imagines #newjeans fanfic #kang haerin x reader #haerin x reader #kang haerin imagines #haerin imagines

[reiding-writing]

erotomania [ s.r ]

01 - exhortations

Summary:

You’d found yourself with a stalker, one who seemingly had a romantic obsession with you, and you had no idea what to do, except maybe confide in one of your team members.

WARNINGS: Signs of stalking, mentions of break-ins, fears of violence, mentions of panic attacks

pairing: spencer reid x gn!bau!reader

genre: angst, hurt/comfort, mild fluff

wc: 6.8k

main masterlist!!

a/n: so… i decided to start a series- considering chapter length it’ll probably only be three parts and i hope to have them out once a week but knowing my college schedule i’m not sure about that 😭

<poem used - ‘my fire, my flame’ by ariana alonso>

thank you guys for all the love on my other uploads <33

series masterlist!!

01-exhortations, 02-avoidance, 03-revelations, 04-confession

It started with a rose.

A single white rose left haphazardly on your doorstep.

You didn’t really think much of it, your neighbours had a white rose bush they regularly pruned, and you figured the wind must have blown one of the loose roses cut from it over to your porch.

You’d often find scattered petals and wilting rose heads on your lawn, blown over by the wind to no fault of the old couple living next door. Although you did have to admit that a full rose was something that had never blown over before.

But hey, sometimes these things happen right?

That was the same rhetorical question you asked yourself two weeks later when a blank envelope was posted through your letter box alongside your regular mail. It looked like a birthday card, the envelope a pale yellow and closed shut with a small white sticker in the shape of a rose. Curious.

You debated on whether to open it at first, not wanting to accidentally intrude on somebody else’s private business, but after a few days of deliberating you came to the conclusion that reading what’s inside might help you find the intended recipient.

You didn’t find anything of note in the envelope, just a folded piece of white paper with a typed out romantic poem imprinted on its inner side. It was odd for sure, but it wasn’t anything to worry about.

You ended up throwing the envelope away. As much as you would’ve liked to have delivered it to its rightful recipient there just wasn’t enough information for you to do so. You just guessed that it was a teenager trying to romance one of their classmates and had posted their efforts through the wrong door.

It was harder to brush off the new succulent lining your kitchen windowsill.

You’d come home to your house after four days spend in Iowa on a case, absolutely exhausted. So much so it took you three separate trips in and out of your kitchen to realise that the three succulents usually lining your window had now been increased to four.

At first you just thought it was your exhaustion getting to you, but you knew for a fact that you’d only bought three. Garcia had made you pick them out specifically. And this new fourth one didn’t fit in.

You examined the new succulent closely, trying to figure out where it came from. It was a vibrant green colour, with small, round leaves that formed a rosette shape. Unlike your other succulents, this one had delicate white flowers blooming from its centre. It was a beautiful addition to your collection, but you couldn't help but wonder who had put it there and why.

You carefully examined the plant for any clues. There were no tags or labels indicating its origin, and it seemed to blend in seamlessly with the rest of your succulents, as if it had always been there. The thought of someone entering your home while you were away sent a shiver down your spine, but there were no signs of forced entry or any other evidence to suggest foul play.

You unfortunately didn’t have much time to mull over this new addition to your plant collection as the team were whisked away on another case, less than 24 hours after your last case finished.

Still, you couldn’t seem to get the small white flowers of the plant sat upon your windowsill out of your mind, and you were starting to question your sanity a little. Were you sure that you hadn’t bought four? Maybe you had. Maybe it’d been there the whole time.

“If it isn’t my favourite profiler, don’t tell Derek that,” Garcia almost immediately backtracked as she picked up the phone. “What can I do you for my sweet?”

“Hey Penny, just a random question, you remember when we went plant shopping a while back?” You held the phone up to your ear with your left hand, using your right to continue jotting down notes on the portable whiteboard the Montanna Police Department had provided your team with for the case you were working on.

“Oh of course I do my love. Why, Looking for a professional suggestion for your next addition?” You could practically hear Garcia’s smile through the phone as she spoke.

“No Pen, I just wanted to check something,” You let out a small chuckle at her exaggerated confidence in her knowledge of plants. ”Did I end up buying three succulents or four?”

“Three my love, two Chinese Jades and one Opalina I believe. Why’s that?”

“Oh no nothing, I was just checking which ones I’d bought with you and which ones I’d bought myself, thanks Pen,” You didn’t know why you felt the impulse to lie. Maybe it was your subconscious telling you that it was in fact you who had put the plant there. That you’d just been so busy that you’d forgotten about it. Either way you didn’t want to stir up the pot if you couldn’t prove anything was actually wrong.

But you also couldn’t rid of that feeling in the pit of your stomach that rose when Garcia confirmed you hadn’t bought the plant when out with her.

“Alrighty, anything else you need from her majesty of all knowledge?”

You give another small laugh at Garcia’s manner of speech. “No Pen, thank you.”

”Well then my dear, this lady’s got other fish you fry, I’ll catch you later,”

You hear the end dial through your phone before you can respond, a usual end to a phone call with Garcia, and whilst her little quips and jokes left you with a small smile on your face, it didn’t quite reach your eyes.

A pale yellow envelope.

You feel a sense of deja vu when you pick it up from the floor on the inside of your front door, seemingly slotted through your letterbox just like the former had been, white rose sticker holding it closed and all.

The difference this time however, was that when you turned the envelope in your hand it had your name inked on the front, scrawled out in a messy cursive that stained parts of coloured paper black, the ink having bled as the name was written from the sheer amount of pressure used.

That’s the moment that you started to panic.

You could put the signs together by now. A perfectly de-thorned rose on your doorstep. Messages posted through your door. A new succulent left in your kitchen after you’d expressed interest in them. It wasn’t just a series of coincidences, they were signs. Signs of something you didn’t particularly want to think about.

The last one was the worst. It meant that whoever had taken it upon themselves to form a fascination with you had somehow managed to get inside of your house whilst you weren’t there.

You triple checked the locks on your doors that night, leaving the new envelope unopened on your kitchen counter.

You ended up taking it to work the next day, tucked away in your messenger bag and left under your desk as you tried to distract yourself through with your files.

You tried to convince yourself that you were just overthinking. Maybe the indented recipient of the letter just happened to have the same name as you. Maybe this was just the last two weeks of continuous stress was just taking it’s toll on you and making you paranoid. You tried to convince yourself. But you knew.

“Excuse me,”

Your internal monologue was cut off by a soft voice, and your mind was momentarily wiped of your dilemma as you looked up towards the source of the noise, the small receptionist from the front of your floor.

“This was dropped off last night, I believe it was for you.”

In her hand was a small rectangular package, wrapped in brown paper, and she held it out to you with a small smile.

“Oh, thank you,” You return her smile with one of your own, taking the package from her hand and watching her retreat back to her desk. You weren’t expecting anything delivered, were you?

Unwrapping the package only left you more confused. It was a leather bound copy of Romeo and Juliet, the cover a deep red and embossed with with gold roses and an intricate border, the book’s name embossed in a similar fashion in the cover’s centre, although flaking in some areas from the wear of the book.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you turned the book over in your hands, but as you opened the front cover that expression fell straight back into concern. A small rose, etched into the inside over in a black ink pen, fit with a single letter, ‘R.’

“Hey Spencer, uh- can I- borrow you for a sec?” You stand from your desk, walking around the cluster in the bullpen to stand behind Spencer’s, head buried in the files he was working on.

“Of course, what’s up?” Spencer took a second to look up, folding the folder closed and leaving his pen inside to mark the page. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah uh- I uh- Were you expecting a book delivery?”

You held the book out towards him, eyes silently pleading for him to say yes. A part of your brain still denied the inevitable, that it wasn’t some outside person who had been leaving things around for you to find. That there wasn’t someone who knew where you lived, and now where you worked, sending you eerily creepy ‘gifts’.

Spencer inspected the book in his hands, examining it closely with narrowed eyes.

“Not that I know of...” He looked up at you, eyebrow slightly raised as he handed the book back to you. “I already have this copy at home,”

Your stomach dropped a little when he confirmed it wasn’t his.

“Right, sorry,” You take the book back from him with a pursed smile, holding it in both of your hands and tapping your nails against the back cover.

You logically knew it wasn’t for him, Spencer was all for buying things second hand, but he would never pick up a book with this much wear and tear unless was a first edition owned by some prolific scholar, the spine damaged and the pages folded and scrawled with annotations that you weren’t sure you wanted to read, but hearing the confirmation just made it sink in a little further.

“Are you alright? You seem a little tense.” Spencer’s voice cut you out of another internal spiral, and you gave him a quick nod.

“Hm? Oh yeah i’m alright, thanks anyway Spence,” You give him a small smile and a half wave as you retreat back to your own desk with the book in hand.

Spencer stared at you for a moment longer, watching as you sat back down at your desk, discarding the book behind your stack of files as if you couldn’t bare to look at it any longer.

Something seemed very off with you.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

My fire, my flame,

My one and the same.

Swiftly swinging from life to end,

Through the times, we meet again.

My lover, my friend,

My mirror, my mend.

My fire, my flame,

No darkness can tame.

Ochre to blue, two as one.

Never unbroken, never undone.

Healing the hurt, flame dims down.

Fire prevails, doubt it drowns.

Forever and true, I am your blue,

The one you felt, the one you knew.

Drunken to sober, you are my ochre,

The one who inspires all my desires.

Over and over, we dance again,

Swiftly swinging from life to end.

It was nearly midnight, and yet you felt wide awake.

A part of you wanted to sleep, lay in bed and pretend that nothing was happening, but you knew that your mind wasn’t going to let you.

You’d sucked up the resolve to open the envelope you’d stored away in your bag, another poem left inside. Except this time instead of being typed out and printed, it was written in the same ink that had adorned its sleeve.

Some of it was barely legible, but you found the words ingrained in your mind almost as soon as you read them. They were sweet from a surface level, a message of true and eternal love, but under your circumstances the only emotions that it evoked from you was a mix of dread and fear.

Your mind soon flickered over to the book you’d left on your nightstand, and you soon found yourself curled up under your duvet with the book in hand, lamp left on both to aid your reading and provide you with a small sense of security in the warm light it cast over the walls of your bedroom.

The narrative of the story was what you’d expect, the traditional tale of Romeo and Juliet, but that wasn’t what you were interested in, it was the annotations, written in the same handwriting as the poem left discarded on your coffee table.

It seemed like a lot of references to love, mainly to the female protagonist in Romeo and Juliet, and you noticed that your initials and “R.” were written a lot.

It seemed that whoever had taken a liking to you really liked you... a little too much.

There were references to your personality, how much you loved things like animals, reading books and eating dark chocolate. They had even written that your favourite colour was burgundy.

You were starting to find this rather unnerving.

The part that really sent you over the edge into a panic was one line in particular, underlined so many times that there was a small rip in the page.

These violent delights have violent ends.

The book in your hand was soon replaced with your phone, held up to your ear as took in slow breaths through your nose.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” You heard Spencer’s voice ring through your phone.

“Hey uh, I’m so sorry to call you so late but uh- Can I ask you for a favour?” The tone of your voice wavered slightly as you spoke, not at all aided by the small tremble of your hand.

“Yeah of course, anything for you, what is it?”

“Can I uh,” You hesitate for a second. “Can I come over?”

“Yeah, of course,” Spencer responded quickly. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah I just, don’t want to be on my own right now,” It wasn’t exactly a revelation. There had been a few instances where tough cases left the team feeling more comfortable spending the time after in the company of someone else.

Most of them had family or lovers as their comfort, but in the case of Spencer, not having any contact with his father and his mother institutionalised, and your parents living across the country, you often found comfort in each other instead.

“Thank you,”

It seemed like you wouldn’t get any sleep tonight.

“It’s no problem at all, I’ll see you soon?” Spencer’s voice was soft and understanding, and you found yourself increasingly grateful for his insomniatic nature.

“Yeah, see you soon…”

You let out a small breath of relief as you hang up the phone, piling some things into a backpack, tattered book included, before locking up the house and driving to Spencer’s apartment

The drive there seemed to be one of the longest drives of your life, constantly deliberating with yourself on whether to confide in Spencer about your theory. Part of you wanted to tell him, you knew with an outside objective view alongside his intelligence that he’d be able to find you a solution, but you also didn’t want to burden him.

When you reach his apartment, you knock on the door twice. “Spence?”

The door unlocked almost before you’re finished knocking, and Spencer stands on the other side, dressed in tardis pyjama pants and a black t-shirt, his brown hair a little flattened, presumably from tossing around in bed trying to get comfortable.

“Hey,” He stepped aside to let you in, adjusting the crooked glasses sat over his nose.

“I’m so sorry for bothering you so late, thank you for letting me come over-“ You blurt out a hasty apology for your intrusion as you take your shoes off at the door and slump down on Spencer’s couch, dropping your bag on the floor next to you.

Spencer followed you with his eyes as he closed and locked the door behind you. “It’s totally fine, it doesn’t matter if it’s 2pm or 2am, you’re always welcome, you know that,”

Spencer smiles at you before asking, “So, what’s going on?”

“I think I’m being stalked-"

The words almost melded together with how fast you spoke them, and it’s only after the whole sentence leaves your mouth you realise that you’d blurted out the thing you’d been mentally fighting over telling him or not.

Well, so much for dealing with it on your own.

Spencer’s smile immediately disappears, being replaced with a look of concern. “Stalked? What do you mean? What’s been happening?”

You sigh softly at Spencer’s expression. There was no backtracking from this now. So you start right from the beginning.

“Well, a few weeks ago I found this perfectly pruned rose on my doorstep,"

Spencer listens to your explanation with a small nod. “Right…”

“But I wasn’t like concerned or anything because my neighbours have a rose bush, and I figured it was just the wind or something. You know, sometimes that kind of stuff happens right? But then over the last few weeks things keep turning up and I know that it’s not normal you know?”

Spencer’s look of concern only grows as you begin explaining, and he took a seat next to you on the couch. “What kind of things have been showing up? Apart from the rose?”

“Like two-ish weeks after the rose thing, there was an envelope posted through my door alongside the rest of my mail, and I ended up opening it because it didn’t have a name on the front and I wanted to to figure out who it was for right?”

Spencer gives you a small nod as a gesture for you to continue.

“I thought it was a birthday card at first, but I’m pretty sure it was a poem, it was just typed out and stuck in the envelope, no names or addresses or anything. So I just threw it out and moved on. I figured it was some teenager who’d posted a love note through the wrong door.”

You use your hands to gesture your explanation, your right leg bouncing absentmindedly as the nervous tension builds up in your body.

“And then after the case we had in Iowa I came home and instead of three plants on my kitchen windowsill there was four. And that was when I was like ‘okay something’s not right here’, and I even rang Penny to check and she confirmed that I’d only bought three,”

Spencer raises a brow, his expression furrowing further if that was possible. “Wait, it turned up in your house?”

You give him a small nod. “I checked all the doors and windows and everything but there was no evidence that anyone had broken in, and by this point I’m like genuinely questioning my sanity over whether I’d actually just bought this stupid plant myself and was freaking myself out over it, but then yesterday evening after I got home from the Airport I found another envelope by my front door, same colour, shape and everything, they even both had the same sticker keeping them closed, but this one had my name written on the front of it,”

By this point, your explanation had turned into more of a ramble, and by the time you had reached a comfortable place to stop, you were feeling short on breath.

“And you opened it?”

You respond to Spencer’s question with a nod, brushing a piece of hair from your eye. “I opened it an hour ago maybe?”

“And it was another poem?”

You give Spencer another small nod in affirmation at his prediction.

“Okay, what else? Did anything else happen?” Spencer’s hand reaches out towards the curve of your knee, effectively halting the nervous tic you’re using to release your tension.

“Well, I showed you this earlier-”

You bend forward to pull your backpack up onto your lap, rifling through it to pull out the worn copy of Romeo and Juliet to present him with it once more.

“it was left at the office’s front desk which half makes me want to believe that it’s not related, but I was reading the annotations earlier and they’re really specific and I freaked myself out which is why I called you in the first place-“

Spencer’s brows crease under the rims of his glasses as his eyes pour over the book’s cover again. “Who left it for you?“

“I don’t know Spencer that’s my issue," You sigh softly as you turn the book over in my hands. “Can you just read through this for me please? I didn’t finish it because I freaked myself out and then immediately came over here so-“

You over-explain your reasoning for wanting him to read through the book for you, figuring that if you could give him a valid reason then you would feel less guilty about asking him to do it in the first place.

Spencer takes the book from you hands whilst you’re still explaining yourself, beginning to flick through the pages one by one, pulling his middle and ring fingers down the page as he scans over the writing.

It’s times like these you’re thankful that Spencer’s reading speed is 85 times faster than the average person’s, and you find your eyes following his fingers as he traces them over the pages, taking note of how he bends his middle finger ever so slightly so that his fingertips are level with each other and how he keeps his index finger raised away from the paper’s surface. It was oddly distracting to watch.

It takes him little more than five minutes to have read through the whole thing, with him stopping a few times along the way to make a couple of comments as he does.

“Well he makes reference to your favourite colour, and your birthday...”

“....your job...”

“...and of course your name.”

“Jesus, the guy’s really obsessed with you isn’t he.”

You furrow your face as Spencer confirms your concerns, rubbing your hands over your legs as a self-soothing technique.

Spencer thinks again for a moment as he shuts the book in his lap. “I think you should spend the night here.”

You can see his gears are turning, the same cogs turning when he’s deep in a profile. He’s gone from being concerned to calculated. “No way in hell am I leaving you alone tonight.”

“I don’t wanna burden you this is a me problem-“ You immediately shut down his suggestion despite you having stayed at his apartment on multiple occasions in the past.

You’d gotten an objective opinion on the situation. That was all you wanted. You didn’t need to drag him any further into your personal issues.

“Hey no,” Spencer shakes his head as he places the book down on the small oak coffee table in front of you. “You’re not burdening me, okay? You don’t have to be alone tonight, you can sleep here.”

“I’m not letting you leave now,” Spencer adds with finality. “You’re clearly anxious, and you look like you need to get some proper sleep.”

You bit the inside of your cheek at Spencer’s insistence, flickering your eyes over to the book on the table, its embossing glinting slightly under the warm overhead light.

He might not exercise it often, but Spencer definitely knew how to put his foot down when he needed to.

“Thank you…”

“Hey, look at me?” Spencer waits until you look at him, then he offers you a soft, reassuring smile. “...Everything’s gonna be okay. Okay?”

You give him a short nod with a pursed smile, not entirely convinced of his assurance but wanting to go along with it anyway for the sake of being able to calm down enough to at least get some sleep. “Okay,“

“Let’s get you set up for the night. We’ll talk this through in the morning.”

Spencer stands up, pushing himself up from the sofa with his hands and leaving into the bedroom. “Get as comfy as you’d like okay? I’ll be back.”

He turns to leave then stops at the door and looks at you one more time. “Oh, and... do you want to borrow one of my T-shirts?”

The invitation was obvious. “Uh yeah if you don’t mind…”

He gives you a small nod as he retreats into his bedroom, re-emerging a few minutes later with a fleece blanket, one of the pillows from his bed, and a black T-Shirt identical to the one he was wearing. “Here, my couch probably isn’t the comfiest place to sleep but-”

He hands the T-shirt over to you with a small smile, stacking the blanket and the pillow on the end of the sofa.

“Don’t be silly Spencer, I’m grateful for you even letting me in let alone letting me stay over on such short notice,” You return his smile with one of your own as you take the shirt from him, retreating into the bathroom to change into it.

You feel the soft cotton against your bare skin as you pull the fabric over your head, noticing that it’s been washed recently, and it still has a slight smell of Spencer’s cologne. It falls quite low, Spencer having to have bought a bigger size than he realistically needed due to the length of his torso.

Your mind continues to run rampant as you exit the bathroom, a mix of the overwhelming stress of your situation and the conflicting feeling of serenity from the solicitude radiating from Spencer.

It was a lot to process for it to be just 1am.

You basically collapse onto Spencer’s couch, burying your head into his pillow with a groan and unfolding the blanket to throw it over yourself.

“If you need anything, anything at all just wake me up okay?” Spencer continued to express that kind compassion that made your chest tingle a little, definitely not helped by the faint scent of his cologne radiating from his pillow, joined by a trace of lavender, most likely an essential oil he’d been using in the hope it would help him sleep better.

“Yeah, thank you again Spencer, it really means a lot.” Your voice is half muffled by the angle of your head against the pillow as you crane your neck to look at him.

“It’s really no problem. You’re always welcome,” He switched off the small lamp keeping the living room, dimly lit, allowing it to fall into a comfortable darkness. “Get some sleep okay?”

“Yeah, thank you Spence…” Spencer gives you one last smile, joined by a half wave that you found more endearing than awkward, before leaving for his bedroom and clicking the door shut behind him.

For the next half hour or so you lie awake on his couch, trying in vain to sleep despite the rampaging thoughts running through your head. It was only when you heard Spencer open the door and quietly enter the room that you finally turned your head to look at him.

The surprise on his face told you that he hadn’t expected you to be still awake. “Why are you still up?”

“My mind’s running a million miles a minute, why are you up?” Your voice is partially hoarse from tiredness, and you shift around on the couch until you are lying facing in his direction.

“Just wanted to get a glass of water…” Spencer purses his lips slightly as his eyes trail over the position you’re lying in, clearly feeling a sad-sympathy at your mind’s insistence at you staying awake. “Hey, can I try something?”

Spencer slowly makes his way over to where you’re lying, taking a seat on the edge of the coffee table in front of you.

“Sure?” You raise an eyebrow slightly, rubbing one of your knuckles over your eyelid. Spencer smiles at your reaction, extending his hand palm-up.. “Alright... can I have your hand please?”

“Should I sit up?” You extend your right hand towards him, using your left to prop yourself up onto your elbow.

Spencer shakes his head. “No, no, keep being comfortable... I think I know how to fix your problem.”

Spencer then reaches out and takes your hand firmly in his, holding it between both of his hands with your palm facing the ceiling. “Ready?”

You give him a short nod in expectancy, eyes flickering between the way his hands hold yours and his eyes as you lie on your back.

His hands were frigidly cold compared to the warmth of his apartment, but you couldn’t say that it was uncomfortable, it was actually quite soothing, a nice contrast from the small cocoon of warmth under the blanket.

Spencer slowly rubs his fingers on the inside of your palm, adding a gentle pressure first to the bases of your fingers and working his way down slowly, pressing the pads of his fingertips into your skin in small circles. “Close your eyes and breathe deeply.”

You follow his guidance with no hesitation, relaxing back into the pillow beneath your head and closing your eyes as you focus on the feeling of Spencer’s fingers dancing over the palm of your hand.

“Just breathe in and out....” You can hear the confidence in his voice as he continues to move the pressure downwards, pressing his thumb against your wrist and gently massaging it.

“A lack of sleep is usually the cause of delayed melatonin production, and studies have shown that certain pressure points on our bodies can help speed up the process.” Spencer begins to explain the reasoning and process behind the gentle hand massage he’s giving you, his voice soft and quiet.

“It was traditionally used in China as a part of acupressure, with six identified pressure points on our bodies that encouraged the production of serotonin and melatonin to help with relaxation and reduce chronic pain, but in the present day it’s been adapted into a massaging technique to help people fall asleep.”

The softness of his voice paired with the gentle massaging of his fingers on your wrist quickly left you feeling more relaxed.

“There are two pressure points on different points of your ankles, one point on each foot, one between your eyebrows, one behind each of your ears, and one on each of your wrists.” You find yourself nodding along to his explanation absentmindedly as you enjoy the gentle pressure of his fingers.

“Although, the only pressure points that have been reliably linked to melatonin production are those on your wrists and behind your ears, here, lie on your side for me.” Spencer gives your wrist a gentle pull to encourage you to turn over, which you very gladly oblige to, humming a soft agreement as you turn to lie of your side facing him with your eyes still closed.

He gently slides his hand up the side of your neck, the coldness of his fingers sending a small shudder up your back, and he presses his thumb into the small gap between your jaw and the rest of your skull, rubbing it in slow circles.

You let out a small, almost inaudible sigh at the gentle pressure he’s applying, and Spencer can tell that you’re quickly falling into full relaxation. “The best results from acupressure occur after 3 - 5 minutes of continuous pressure and…”

His voice trails off slowly as he feels the tension in your jaw release, and he glances down towards your face, a small smile adorning his features at your relaxed expression. “…is best done in a comfortable environment…”

He continues to rub gentle circles into your skin for the next few minutes before gently removing his hand from you, standing up from where he was sat on the coffee table with a soft smile still gracing his features.

“Sleep well..” He whispers the words under his breath as he slowly retreats back to his bedroom, the glass of water he originally sought after completely forgotten about.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

It’d been a few days since you’d confided in Spencer about the stalking situation and stayed the night with him, and fit with a new set of locks on your doors, you’d gone back home to stay on your own.

You walk into the BAU office expecting to see Spencer at his desk like always, ready to talk through your next steps forward with him, except he wasn’t there. You check the watch on your wrist. 7:45. He should’ve arrived by now. Why wasn’t he here?

"Hey uh, do you know where Spencer is?" You approach Morgan over at the kitchenette, leaning against the counter top with your elbow.

“Good morning to you too lover.” Morgan gives a half-laugh at your lack of your usual greetings, making sure to throw in a tease about how the first thing you talk about is Spencer’s whereabouts, not something entirely unfounded considering how close you and Spencer had been getting over the last week or so.

“Ha ha very funny, do you know where he is?” You respond to his quip with a slight roll of your eyes.

Morgan shrugs his shoulder slightly, taking a sip of his freshly made coffee. “Maybe he slept in,”

“Spencer Reid? The man with four wake up alarms?” You furrow your expression slightly. Something about Spencer not already being in the office didn’t sit right with you.

“Okay okay, maybe that was a bad guess, but I don’t know, who knows what he might be doing,” Morgan remains nonchalant if not a little heedless. “Maybe he stumbled on an antique Russian novel collection on the way to work or something,”

“He’s never late for work-“ You mutter to yourself under your breath, half-ignoring Morgan’s attempts at explaining Spencer’s lateness, and you pull your phone out of your pocket, dialling Spencer’s number and holding up the phone to your ear, the consecutive rings echoing out of your phone’s speaker.

Pick up Spencer.

If anyone on the BAU team would know Spencer’s whereabouts, it should be the two of you. And yet neither of you had any clue where he was.

The phone continues to ring until it reaches his voicemail. there’s no answer.

Something was wrong.

You try to call him again. Nothing. This was not like Spencer at all.

Your anxiety spikes as your subconscious links his lack of answering back to your stalking situation, What if Spencer was in danger? What if this stalker had followed you to Spencer’s apartment that night you stayed with him and now knew where he lived?

The minute your brain made the connection you were turning on your heels to exit the office, grabbing your car keys from your desk as you did so.

“Hey-” Morgan follows you over to your desk, putting an arm out as you try to walk past him. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to Spencer’s apartment.” You try to push Morgan’s arm out of the way, only for him to block you with his entire body instead.

“Slow your roll there turbo, everyone is late every now and again, that doesn’t mean we have to turn up to their house out of nowhere.” Morgan’s explanation would be logical under normal circumstances, but he didn’t know that you were being stalked. Nor did he know that this stalker had possibly found Spencer’s address due to your own stupidity leaving him in potential danger.

“Listen Morgan I appreciate your apprehension but I do not have time for this right now.” You manage to swerve your way around Morgan and push your way out of the glass doors of the BAU office, bee-lining it down the stairwell instead of waiting for the elevator.

“Hey! Wait up!” Morgan’s voice echoes down the stairwell as he runs out of the office after you, only managing to catch up to you as you stop to unlock your car, and he blocks the door from opening with his hand. “What is going on?”

“Morgan, if you want to ask me questions, get in the car.” The tone of your voice leaves no room for argument, and Morgan can tell be this point taht you’re not alright, so he gives you a short nod and goes around the front of the car to get in the passenger’s side.

Please be okay, please be okay...

That’s what’s going through your mind as you leave the BAU building, running the speed limit as you drive towards Spencer’s apartment with an awful feeling in your stomach.

“So are you going to tell me what’s going on or what?” Morgan begins his questioning as soon as you hit the main road.

“I think Spencer is in danger.” You keep your eyes trained on the road, both hands braced against the steering wheel as you turn a roundabout.

“Okay, listen.... I’m with you in the fact that this is very out of character for Spencer... but there’s no use in jumping to conclusions, okay?” He puts a hand on your shoulder, clearly concerned at how fast your mind linked Spencer being late with him being in danger. “Let’s just approach this calmly and rationally.”

“I am being rational.”

“No you’re not, you’re panicking,” Morgan gives your shoulder a squeeze before letting his hand fall back into his lap. “Just take a deep breath and a second to think.” Morgan’s voice was full of a calm, soothing reassurance even as you were clearly anxious. “You’re gonna give yourself a panic attack if you don’t.”

“I know I know I’m fine-“

You open your palms against the steering wheel as if to emphasise your point, exhaling heavily through your nose as you pull into the parking lot of Spencer’s Apartment building, leaving your car parked at an angle across two parking spaces.

You’re thankful in this moment that Spencer lives so close to the office building, and you shut off the car quickly, exiting it with the same haste.

Morgan follows closely behind you as you jog across the concrete towards the entrance of the building, locking your car remotely as you pushed the outside door open and started your ascent of the stairs.

“Come on, calm down you don’t need to run-” Morgan called after you as he followed you up the stairs, continuing to try in vein to get you to take a step back and just calm down a little.

You didn’t listen of course, and you only come to a halt once you’ve reached Spencer’s apartment door.

You reach out your right hand to knock as Morgan reaches your side, but as your knuckles come into contact with the wood of the door it creaks open, the hinge pin of the door not fully closed.

Oh no.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds angst #criminal minds x reader #mgg #spencer reid angst #erotomania

[parvulous-writings]

Did you get another request? It's headcanons for Astarion, Gale, and Halsin react to his shy gn crush confessing to him before running away because they're scared of being rejected. Thanks!

Okay I DID get the original request, but accidentally published it when I meant to put it in my drafts, apologies! I'd like to thank the Down By The River Music Box Version for giving me the focus I needed to do this in one sitting! XD Also these three are my BOYS I LOVE THEM

Warnings: None! (besides fluff)

Notes:  My requests are currently open! My pinned post (found here) contains both a list of characters I write for, and a masterlist!  Original character list - please request for these too!

Astarion

Before you even start the conversation with him about liking him, Astarion knows what this is going to be about. He just knows - he's been through this enough times to recognise that look on your face.

It's an easy conclusion to come to - to him, it's a thought of... 'who doesn't like him?' He's hardly known someone that he couldn't tempt, one way or another.

As you approach him, his lips are already curling up into that familiar sultry smile of his. He knows exactly how he wants to play this: "Well, well... If it isn't my favourite travelling companion... What brings you to my tent, my dear?"

You feel your cheeks burn as soon as he opens his mouth, your gaze casting aside as the words hit your ears. He always seems to know how to take someone's breath away.

You blurt out your confession as fast as your lips can manage, nothing more than a mash of words, hardly understandable - but Astarion understands with ease. He's been through this a lot, he knows the dance all too well. Before he can let a chuckle leave his throat, you're gone, leaving naught but a cloud of dust in your wake.

Nevertheless, had you been within earshot of the elf, you would have heard a rather dry laugh from his lips. To have someone turn tail from him, it's new. Something about the situation speaks to him though - it shows that, even after he's seen two hundred years of nothing but shadows and debauchery, there's still innocence in the realms. And he sees that it lives on in you. It's almost... endearing to him. Almost. Unfortunately it takes a lot to make his undead heart stir, anymore.

Unlike most, Astarion doesn't chase after you - he doesn't even consider it. In his past, he's never been one to chase after someone who likes him, he's always a magnet for them. He stays comfortably in his tent, eagerly awaiting your return. He knows you will, no matter how shy you are, or how long it takes.

Such a sweet thing... I'm sure they'll come around to speaking more openly eventually. Astarion's thoughts echo all that he knows from his past - one way or another, those who are charmed by him come back; though, he must admit, he does quite like the idea of playing this little game with you, whether you realise you are playing or not.

Gale

Gale doesn't really label your timid nature or actions as 'shyness', he sees it much more as an air or aura of mystique about you - which he absolutely loves. His scholarly instinct tells him to dive in, to explore all there is about you, and to uncover all of your mysteries. However, he knows you are your own person - if you wish to tell him any secrets you have, he's going to let you do so mostly at your own pace, only nudging or prompting once or twice.

When you approach him one evening, he's so over the moon to tell you about something he's recently figured out, relating to a problem you've been trying to solve outside of camp, that he doesn't initially notice the rather skittish demeanour you've adopted. He's so quick to launch into his little pre-planned speech that he hardly notices you talking to him, until you've already run halfway back to your own tent.

Gale just... Stands there, in stunned - almost offended - silence. Had he done something? Was it his recent discovery? Had he launched into it too quickly - given you too much information all at once? All these thoughts go through his head one after the other. He hadn't even caught what you had said, and that worried him the most: He had no clue whatsoever what you had said to him.

So it isn't long before he's practically marching towards your tent - determination in his eyes. He will find out what you had tried to tell him. He clears his throat to get your attention when he gets close enough, folding his arms over his chest in a rather defensive position. "I suppose you have a reason for running off like that whilst speaking to me?" He questions, quite tensely. As you begin to shakily explain your feelings for him, his arms drop to his sides again.

He's very pleasantly surprised to learn that the only reason you ran off mid-conversation was due to embarrassment, rather than anything that he had done. He would hardly have been able to live with himself if that particular question had gone unanswered. So, he settles himself down in front of you. "Alright.. How about we try this again... With you having my full attention this time?"

Halsin

Halsin could tell by the look on your face that whatever you wanted to tell him, it was important. Of course, true to his nature, he wasn't about to force it out of you - he's much more content for you to take your time in telling him.

So, he just sits with you, in a peaceful silence, waiting for you to work up your courage to ask him. And when you finally do, Halsin can't say he's shocked by the words - it's not always easy to hide attraction or love from someone who's been alive for over three centuries. What does surprise him, however, is the fact that you're so quick to flee the encounter. Though, he finds it quite sweet that you, unlike him, still have embarassment hinging around socialising - particularly when it is centering around matters of the heart. He doesn't think any less of you for it, a skill like that takes years of practice, and he's had three hundred and fifty years to hone this skill of his.

Throughout all his life, and his many lovers, this kind of thing has happened to him only a handful of times, so it still catches him off-guard most of the time. Thankfully, he knows how to handle the situation.

He gives you some time to yourself, allowing you to collect your thoughts. He knows that if he tries to approach you too quickly, you may become more frazzled, spiral more in your mind. And that is the last thing he wants. If you two are to be with one another - which he hopes is the outcome of the situation - he wants you to have a clear head, and know what you want.

When he does decide it's the right time to go to you, the first thing he does, is ask if you are alright. "How are you faring, my heart?" He takes a chance with the nickname, and he can just about see with the way your head whips round to look at him that he's certainly caught your attention. "You seemed... Out of yourself, before. Perhaps you would like to discuss it?" He moves to sit with you then, and even as he kneels , he towers over most. "At your own pace, of course..." He offers you a smile. It's a kindhearted smile - one that you can tell is straight from his heart. You feel a little more comfortable, and though it is a slow conversation, you get there before dawn.

#requests open #x reader oneshot #x reader requests #headcanons #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 x reader #bg3 headcanons #bg3 #astarion x reader #astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion bg3 #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 gale #halsin x reader #halsin headcanons #halsin baldur's gate 3 #halsin bg3

[iciclesses]

Is Soap the crazy ex that's stealing your stuff and Ghost won't do anything about it?

cw toxic relationship, stalking, pillow humping, panty sniffing/licking

The sheer AMOUNT of asks and comments and tags I got begging for it to be fem Soap... TBH I hadn't originally Thought that but yall convinced my ass so easy!! (As if toxic lesbianism isn't my bread and fucking butter)

Soap being sooo obsessed with you- Ghost dumped her because he loves loves LOVES seeing Soap emotionally distraught but got distracted with you soon after, he forgot to take Soap back before her last bits of sanity fled her.

She starts by finding all your social media, she swears that you're posting soft launch photos of Ghost’s hand on your thigh specifically to taunt her. Of course, all that does is rile her up more, and the logical conclusion to cope with that, of course, is to break into your flat while you're away on vacation with Ghost. Serves you right for flying to the fucking Caribbean with her man.

She considers smashing everything she can get her claws on while draped on your bed, your cat purring against Soap while she pets it mindlessly. Spares herself a little maniacal smile at the idea burning your whole fucking place down- she'd wait around a corner as you'd come home and fall to your knees in agony having lost it all.

Scratching just beneath the cats chin and cooing, "Don't worry love, I'd be sure to take good care of ye. Probably better than yer mum thas' for sure."

Ultimately, she does something stranger. She spends the entirety of your remaining vacation (two weeks, one day, and seventeen hours-- bleeding Christ, Ghost never spent more than two nights at Soap’s flat) living as you. The sweet old woman across from you that you asked to check in on your cat while you were gone? Why, she's so old her eyesight is going out. She doesn't trust her memory that much either. So when she squints up at Soap, she doesn't question anything as she passes the fraud your house key.

"Back early, eh pet?"

"Ah, no, but time does fly, doesnae?"

She wakes up every morning in your perfumed, satin sheets. She brushes her teeth with your brush, your paste- licking the bristles like a sweet until all the mint flavor was gone. Showers with all your soaps and slathers herself with your expensive oils after. Looks herself in the eyes in the mirror as she puts your lipstick on. Finds any set of clothes in your closet that fit her, unafraid to play tailor to make especially pretty items fit. Doesn't care if your shoes don't fit her, she makes them fit one way or another. Eats your oats, drinks your coffee from your unwashed mug as she looks down fondly as the cat eats the breakfast Soap put out for it. When she orders out, she puts your name down. Gets a little thrill in the cafes when they call out her tea but your name, gleefully smiling as she takes the paper cup.

Takes strange men home, and by home that still means yours, so they can fuck her like a worthless whore while spitting your name. It's pornographic when Soap throws her head back and cums with a cry when a man won't stop whining your name. She can't escape the sweet smell of your perfume.

Living as you, Soap has never felt so beautiful or put together in her life. It comes as a horrible, dizzying conclusion to Soap in the dead of night: she's not mad at you anymore. She's in love with you. It has her staggering out of bed, nearly collapsing at your hamper when she finds what she was hoping for. Falling over herself back onto your bed and mounting one of your pillows, muscular hips jerking as she rubs her bare, sopping cunt against the fabric. One hand gripping the corner of the pillow, keeping it in place and imagining it was your hair in her fist. The other hand holding a pair of your underwear to her nose. She takes a grotesquely deep sniff, eyes rolling back in her head with a guttural moan. She doesn't stop even as her hips start to buck faster, more desperate. It was then Soap’s turn to whine out your name like it were a last prayer, again and again. Strong thighs flexing as her rhythym became more erratic, her body bowing forward as she chased her orgasm. Tongue daring to dart out and tasting salt, tasting you, the new love of her life, this was the straw that finally broke Soap for good.

#cw toxic relationship #cw stalking #noel.haps #ghoap x reader #soap x reader #fem soap #me writing soap as nuts: yea lesbianism will do that to ye #forgive me for bad english im very sick

[howdoyouwhiskit]

*deep breath* so I’ve been meaning to make a big post about House re:mobility aids and chronic pain treatment for a LONG time so here we go this is gonna be a long ride that probably won’t make a lot of sense in regards to a linear narrative so buckle up motherfuckers

Disclaimer: I am disabled, have chronic pain, and am an ambulatory mobility aid user. I have experience using a cane, forearm crutches, a rollator, and a walker. I understand everyone’s experiences are different. I am writing this from my personal experience with mobility aids which may influence some interpretations of things

Let’s start with the obvious one, House uses his cane wrong. They recognize this in canon. It isn’t simply a case of “oh the show writers were lazy and it’s never mentioned.” What I haven’t seen people discuss is that using a cane the way House does (in my experience anyways) fucking hurts. It isn’t comfortable at all. It feels awkward and clunky and at least personally within a few minutes of using a cane in that fashion my *entire body* hurts. Plus, it doesn’t even really help take the pressure off of my leg pain.

Given the all of him there’s two conclusions that I’d like to make about this (and remember this isn’t canon, just simply my interpretation as a disabled person):

It’s very obvious that House has Feelings about mobility aids. Society can often make people think that using mobility aids is a weakness. Admitting something is wrong. House very clearly doesn’t like to do either of those things. I personally have incredibly complicated feelings about mobility aids that I can’t even begin to put into words. I see myself in House in this regard.

I can’t help but think that him using his cane incorrectly is some fucked up form of self punishment. It’s been brought up in canon that House has a tendency to self harm in various ways. I don’t think that people realizing that him using a cane incorrectly could be related. For those who are unfamiliar, using any mobility aid (even a cane) incorrectly can cause damage. I do not claim to be a doctor but I imagine that House would be dealing with back and shoulder issues at minimum from using his cane the way he does.

The next thought I have is something I think about a lot. It’s clear House’s pain fluctuates, as it does for a lot of chronic pain patients. What I don’t see a lot of people talking about is realistically he could fluctuate mobility aids with the fluctuations of his pain. Yes, I understand there are limitations within his career as a doctor, but this is House MD were talking about there isn’t exactly always exact medical realism is there? I just can’t help but wonder, what would House’s life look like, if he let himself use something other than a cane?

I know there’s an episode where House does use a wheelchair for access to an accessible parking space, and I really really wish they expanded upon this more in canon. Personally, I think House needing to be (but not necessarily acting on it) a part time ambulatory wheelchair user makes sense.

I’ve read some fic/headcanons about House needing a wheelchair (Berber it be due to an advancement in disability or as an acceptance of his current disability) yet everyone talks about him using a shitty hospital grade chair. He’s a doctor who probably has great insurance plus a lofty department head paycheck. If House were in a position to have a wheelchair, he could very very easily access a top of the line custom made chair.

I understand the representation of the standard hospital chair often comes from a place of ignorance about custom wheelchairs, I really do. I just think that the concept of using a hospital chair permanently can cloud the judgement of if it’s truly a “bad thing” or not. Hospital wheelchairs are fucking uncomfortable and not easy to use. A custom chair, when built right, is none of these things.

Just, I’d love more House fanwork that embraces the idea of mobility aids. No, I don’t mean make House randomly decide “oh I’m gonna accept help now” and make him OOC. No, I mean let’s actually dive into House’s feelings about mobility aids, create some fanworks where maybe he works through some of his internalized ableism and self hatred and lets himself be accommodated. I hate seeing fic after fic that makes it seem like it’s some tragedy that House needs crutches or a walker or wheelchair. I want it to be normalized. Disability can be progressive and that’s just life. Yes, it’s upsetting. Yes, it can be sad to those involved. No, it doesn’t mean the end of the world.

Now I think it’s time to talk in regards to the treatment of his chronic pain, outside of the way he accommodates his mobility. I think that, while this is probably related to the writers wanting to stick to the “addicted to Vicodin” plot line, House’s pain management in the series, sucks, to put it lightly. I’ve been to multiple pain management programs (both at formal PM clinics and informal PM done by other specialists) and any doctor worth their salt would have had him on some sort of nerve pain medication and probably some form of muscle relaxer from the very beginning. While, yes, one could argue that House is on these medications and it’s just not mentioned, I really really don’t think that’s the case. You could also argue that he may have been offered these things, and simply refused them. This could very well be the case. However, that doesn’t erase the fact that these things could be helpful.

When House is off Vicodin, they have him substantiating off of exclusively ibuprofen. I’ve had chronic pain bad enough to need opioids treated with high doses of ibuprofen and in my personal experience, it doesn’t do shit. It just upsets your stomach and risks kidney issues and doesn’t actually help with the pain. The fact that just because he deals with addiction he doesn’t get proper pain management is BONKERS to me.

I understand that they were, within the shows canon, attempting to claim that at least some of the pain was psychological. Just because someone’s pain is psychological doesn’t mean you do not treat it. There are plenty of ways to treat psychological pain. Again, one could argue that House simply refused. Again, I’d say that you might be right.

You notice that I say that House very realistically could’ve refused various treatments that could make his life better. Just like how it is with his cane, I believe this is an effort at self punishment. If these efforts at self punishment are conscious or not is genuinely up to you. I personally view it as unconscious, but again, as I said in the beginning, I’m interpreting this the way I see things.

Anyways, just needed to get my thoughts out there, as a crippled person who’s been obsessed with House since before they realized that their chronic pain wasn’t normal. Since before they realized that the word disabled was something that could be applied to them.

Feel free to reply to this with thoughts or questions and y'all are more than welcome to DM me to pick my brain about this!

#i have many feelings #i have many thoughts #chomping at the bit wanting to scream #these have been in my brain for years thanks for asking #house md #hate crimes md #gregory house

[jaehvuno]

7 minutes | huh yunjin

A/N: first post on this blog! hope you enjoy :)💌 i proofread like once it’s been a min LOL

PAIRING: yunjin x reader

GENRE: smut, fluff, angst

WARNINGS: afab!reader, yunjin!reader, crying, oral, fingering, squirting, nipple play (?), kissing, begging, yunjin is nervous abt expressing her feelings 🫶🏾

WORD COUNT: 1.6K

“this party is so boring” yunjin sighed, placing her head on your shoulder.

“It was your idea to come?” she sighed again “i know.. don’t remind me” you chuckled at her pouty expression wrapping your arm around her.

“You wanna leave? go to my place?” Your question made Yunjin sit up and look at you.

“Go to your place to do what?” your face dropped not meaning anything crazy just simply wanting to watch a movie.

“I-I don’t know? watch TV—“

“I'm teasing y/n.”

She smiled, grabbing your hand. The two of you headed towards the door getting stopped by a giggly chaewon. Yunjin snatched her hand away from you once she approached the both of you. Of course. You and Yunjin weren’t a couple (yet..you thought) but the tension between you was definitely known. She liked to flirt with you and be under you when no one was around but when you got around crowds or even school she tried her best to keep her distance from you.

As much as you loved her you were getting really sick of her playing around with you and your feelings. You were starting to come to the conclusion it was best if you two just stayed friends.

“We’re about to play seven minutes in heaven! come join us” chaewon cheered, dragging you both to the living room before you could protest. You sat across from Yunjin watching as she sat by Heeseung clutching onto his arm. You raised an eyebrow at her actions genuinely getting pissed at the way she laughed at whatever he whispered in her ear. You didn’t even notice Jake had spinned the bottle until the circle let out ‘oooh’s’ making you look to see who it landed on. You and Yunjin. “No fucking way” Jake chuckled eyeing the both of you.

“Oh come on it’s not like you guys haven’t kissed” Chaewon chirped in the group of people laughing along.

Yunjin began to laugh. “Are you kidding? No way i’m kissing y/n s-she’s a girl”

It’s like the laughter grew louder after Yunjin’s comment. You watched as everyone laughed, making your face hot and eyes burn from the tears threatening to fall. You got up from the circle heading up the stairs trying to find any empty room you can cry and pout in. Why was Yunjin acting like this? Why did she care so much what people thought about the two of you possibly being together? You didn’t understand.

When you finally got to an empty room you plopped down on the bed taking a deep breath. Only sitting up when the door opened, Yunjin poked her head in.

“There you are,” she smiled. “I told them I was just coming up here to find you! let’s go finish the gam—“

you snatched your hand away from her yunjin giving you a puzzled look. “Fuck you and that stupid fucking game”

“What?”

“Why do you care so much what they think about us? Are you embarrassed to be seen out with me? Too scared to be with a girl huh?” Yunjin could barely process what was happening. Where is this all coming from?

“I-I thought you liked me… I thought you wanted to date me” you mumbled out looking down at your feet blinking your tears away. Yunjin didn’t respond. She just stood there fidgeting with her fingers trying to think of something, anything, to explain how she’s feeling. To explain how she feels about you. But it’s like she couldn’t. She felt frozen. Stuck.

You wiped your tears scoffing at the dead silence from her. “I’m done with this bullshit” you went to stand up Yunjin stopping you from getting up. Tears pricking out the corner of her eyes.

“I-I don’t know what i’m feeling” she breathed out. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before ever and it’s scary”

she sniffled looking down at her hands. “I’m not.. embarrassed of you I'm just— I don’t know what i’m doing or how to handle my emotions” she paused.

“But I do know that I like you and i can’t lose you y/n”

you wiped the tears from her puffy face smiling at how cute she looks. “you’ll never lose me”

Yunjin gave you a warm smile back, grabbing you by the shirt to pull you into a kiss. You placed each hand on the side of her face so you can deepen it, your lips moving in sync. Yunjin placed her hands on your chest pushing you back until you laid flat on the bed, yunjin hovering over you.

Hands feeling up on your body, fingers grazing over your tummy making you shiver. Kissing on your neck making you bite your lip as she nipped at the skin her kisses slowly traveling down your body. You sucked in a breath when she kissed your stomach then your hips. You couldn’t help but whine when she squeezed at your thighs pressing a kiss to your clothed cunt. Yunjin smiled at the way you squirmed.

“you’re soaking baby” she kissed at your wet spot, another whine leaving your lips. “Yunjin please” you pleaded, feeling impatient with the way she was teasing you.

Pulling your skirt and panties off in one swift movement tossing them somewhere in the room scooting you closer to her putting your legs on her shoulders. You could feel her breath fanning over your cunt feeling yourself getting even wetter. Gasping once you felt her tongue on your clit hands immediately grabbing her hair.

She squeezed at your thighs as she continued to abuse your clit, your back slightly arching off the bed.

“Yunjin— fuck” you moaned tossing your head back feeling hee fuck you with her tongue fingers coming up to rub at your clit. you were squirming like crazy from the stimulation yunjin stopping to look up at you

“you gotta be still baby” you shook your head as she sucked on your clit again. “I-I can’t!” you stuttered out lifting your shirt up to play with your nipple wetting them with your fingers. You felt that familiar knot in your stomach, your breathing becoming unsteady.

“Yunjin please right there— i’m so close” you moaned, grabbing her hair. Yunjin tongue flicked back and forth at your clit making your back arch slightly off the bed. fuck- i’m cumming i’m cumming!” you whined out grinding on her tongue as you cum. You pushed her away when you started to get sensitive pulling her up to kiss you.

The kiss was long and sloppy moaning as you tasted yourself on her tongue. You could feel Yunjin grinding herself into you as the kiss continued to get heated.

“Lay back” you mumbled between kisses yunjin wasting no time getting under you chasing for your lips again. Undoing her jeans with one hand, yunjin helps you pull them down far enough to get to where she needs you. Running a finger up and down her entrance gasping at her wetness. You pushed two fingers in her cunt pumping them in and out of her slowly. Yunjin hips begin to move against your hand trying to make you go faster, your pace painfully slow.

“Y/n—please give me more” she kept her eyes closed, arms wrapped around your neck. “Yeah? You want more? Look at me.” She pulled back, biting at her lip cheeks turning red as she looked at you.

“Want more please” her voice was barely above a whisper.

“Need another finger please” you felt yourself getting wet again from her words. Pushing a third finger in watching her gasp and slightly arch her back.

“oh fuck!” she whimpered, grabbing your face to kiss you as you fingered her cunt. “Feels so good— please don’t stop,” she moaned in your mouth. You fingered her a bit faster biting your lip at the way your fingers fucked her.

“f-feel so full..” she whined resting her forehead against yours “yeah? you like feeling full?” she whimpered again, nodding.

“love your fingers so much— i’m so fucking close” yunjin failed to kiss you back as you picked up your pace fingers going faster hearing her wetness. she rested her forehead against yours eyes trying to stay open, closing once she felt that familiar knot in her lower belly.

“i-i’m gonna…” she started mouth falling open as she cums soaking the sheets and your hand as she squirts. Letting whines and high pitch squeals as she rides out her orgasm. She slowly stopped bucking her hips on your fingers, shaking when you pulled your fingers out. Leaving a smack to her clit watching her squirm

You kissed her lips again rubbing at her clit yunjin stopping you “m sensitive” she mumbled making you smile.

You let her lay on your chest as she calms down. The room filled with silence, the only noise being the music from the party that you both long forgot about. Yunjin broke the silence first

“Will you be my girlfriend?” you looked down at her yunjin rubbing your side.

“Seriously?” Yunjin sat up looking at you. “Seriously”

You smiled nodding. “I would love that”

Yunjin gave you a big smile in return, kissing your lips. The both of you got up to get dressed looking back at the bed tilting your head to the side.

“You made a mess— this poor dudes bed”

Yunjin punched your shoulder playfully “sorry you made me feel good” you kissed her temple wrapping your arm around her waist.

“Let’s go to your place now i’m tired and wanna cuddle my new girlfriend” she winked pulling you out the room.

#huh yunjin #le sserafim #yunjin x reader #le sserafim smut #huh yunjin smut #le sserafim yunjin

[yazthebookish]

I posted my take on the Lightsinger theory and Gwyn's "luring" powers theory on Reddit two days ago but thought I'll reshare it here (with some additional thoughts)

The only canon information we have on Lightsingers:

Nesta winced. Cassian went on as she scanned the bog, "There are lightsingers: lovely, ethereal beings who will lure you, appearing as friendly faces when you are lost. Only when you're in their arms will you see their true faces, and they aren't fair at all. The horror of it is the last thing you see before they drown you in the bog. But they kill for sport, not food."

Does this correlate with anything Gwyn did in ACOSF? The answer is no.

I am not saying it is impossible for her to be a Lightsinger though where things stand it's unlikely in my opinion, but I'd attribute any potential powers either singing or glowing to her River Nymph heritage. We have no idea of her powers and she's also half High Fae of course she'll have powers like every other High Fae.

I think a lot of the "canon evidence" are different interpretations of the text but sometimes try to present itself as concrete evidence or proof when it isn't. Some attribute her singing during the services as the cause to Nesta having vision of the Prison and the Harp, but that also means we will have to ask what connection is there between Lightsingers and the Prison/Harp? And some believe it's the lyrics that trigger the vision as they're written in the ancient language and "Nesta saw what the song spoke of". Some believe Nesta power reacting to the crackling energy around Gwyn is a sign that she is a Lightsinger, but like... that's an indicator she has powers just like how Nesta in a later chapter felt Merrill's ornerry power. How is crackling energy means it's a Lightsinger when we never saw them? Powers recognize each other sometimes, just like how Feyre was surprised when Eris was able to detect a cold flame in the Dagger Nesta forged when it was given to him as a gift (like calls to like, Eris also has flame power).

In the bonus chapter, it's described at one point that the Shadows danced with Gwyn's breath as if it heard some Silent MUSIC (emphasis on music and not song). What was referred to as Music between Souls? The mating bond. Interestingly enough it was that same night when Nessian consummated their bond and they were connected by a music between their souls. So that could be a hint, and at the end of the scene Azriel hears a distant beautiful singing and the shadows sing back, hard to tell whether if it's Gwyn, who went back to trying to cut the ribbon, starts to sing or it's also another wording for a hint at the mating bond (also called the Song of the Soul).

I'm more keen to believe it's the mating bond because there are far more parallels and similar mate language to support it across all her three series and if someone is going to tell me "but Lorcan's chest glowed after he took the blood oath from Aelin—" my love context matters in this case and it doesn't invalidate the 10+ examples I can pull out of similar mate language like in the bonus chapter.

To ADD, for Azriel to be lured to the library at 7pm because of said Lightsinger singing, he has to be able to HEAR the singing for the power to influence him and Azriel didn't hear any singing, he was conscious and aware of his actions. It was mentioned Nesta sang with Gwyn at the services frequently and she didn't make any comments on a vision being triggered or her constantly seeking out Gwyn so there are holes in those kind of conclusions—again, because we never see Lightsingers on page.

"But when he arrives to the library it chimed 7pm!! That's when they sing for the dusk service" welp that's another hole in the theory, it depends on Azriel being drawn to the library because of Gwyn's singing but if he showed up at the library and they don't sing until 7pm then before the clock chimes at 7pm, they weren't singing so... not a convincing answer. Also, Clotho is usually seen during those services and Azriel still found her at her desk.

Early on when ACOSF came out, some readers made connections between Lightsingers and Shadowsingers and made the assumption that Lightsingers are the Shadowsingers' Light counterparts. That's why you had people musing about Azriel's mate being a Lightsinger, but canonically Lightsingers are evil once we go back to the text but we don't even see them to know for sure how they wield their powers or if they even sing because Shadowsinger Azriel doesn't need to sing when he uses his power.

In an Elain book (in this scenario it's her and Azriel), I don't see any purpose of Gwyn being revealed as a Lightsinger or anything about her powers because it'll be used as a plot device for an Elain/Azriel romance rather than contribute to Gwyn's own growth and that's why I don't like it. It will have implications on Nesta and the Valkyries dynamic too. If that's the case it will mean Gwyn will need more page time in an Elain and Azriel book to tackle something like that, especially if they're going to "help" her since that's the reasoning I see often—that she's not evil but she doesn't know it and if she did they will help her but like... why? To make her realize she has been keeping them apart or that she wanted a necklace she didn't even have any clue about.

Given Gwyn's history who even at the end of the book said despite training it didn't erase the fact that she let her sister die, she is still dealing with survivor's guilt, she still refuses to wear the priestesses stone, and also her desire to leave the library and see the world (which we didn't see yet). She has a lot of promise as a character than be a plot device for someone else's relationship.

The way I see it, Gwyn's theoretical powers is used to absolve Azriel of any accountability for his actions (ala Necklacegate) because it's not a good look on him, so it's better to pin it on someone else by saying he was lured against his will (since I often see that the reasoning behind her presence in the bonus chapter is to hint at her powers).

So if I have to read about Gwyn dealing with her powers whether they're good or bad, I'd rather see it from her point of view and for it to be beneficial for her own personal arc and healing journey. My problem isn't her having questionable powers (which I don't mind because many SJM characters had questionable powers but used it for good), I don't want it to be used as a plot device for another couple just to smear her as a character and clear the actions of the other male character so his "love interest" doesn't blame him for his actions.

Whew, this was long but I adore Gwyn and I am not a fan of the current version of the Lightsinger theory. I think even if SJM makes it happen, it would probably play out way differently than the fandom expects.

Also, it's not in SJM's style to use other woman drama in her romances. The other women are often 💀 or insignificant past lovers. I don't see her taking that route with Gwyn at all.

She could be half Asteri and I would still love her and be eager to explore her powers and story, I just don't like it being used to further another couple's conflict or whatever (they already have Rhys and Lucien).

And no, I hate the idea of Gwyn being controlled by either Koschei or Merrill because it takes away her agency and the suggestion here is about her doing things that harms others, how will that not have any implications on Nesta and Emerie and the trio's healing journey? Given her own tragic history and the fact that she was helpless and powerless to help her twin sister and she's still dealing with survivor's guilt over it all.

"Why did you sign up for this, then?" Nesta drank the glass Gwyn extended. "If you already have mind-calming exercises you're accustomed to?"

"Because I don't ever want to feel powerless again," Gwyn said softly, and all those easy smiles and bright laughs were gone. Only stark, pained honesty shone in her remarkable eyes.

Her being controlled is putting her in a powerless position again because she has no choice but to do Koschei or "evil" Merrill's bidding that could potentially harm Nesta and the others. I despite it.

And if I have to read about any comparisons between Gwyn and Ianthe as proof that priestesses can be evil, I'll go insane.

Also, if Gwyn's power can influence anyone through her singing, it would've influenced every single person in the services. It would have influenced other members of the IC. This particular theory is weak and depends one interpretation of the text that tries to present itself as evidence of an evil creature that never even shows up on page.

Gwyn wasn't added in the bonus chapter by coincidence. Sarah confirmed she left crumbs all over the book and specifically his bonus chapter, and what we speculate may or may not be confirmed in the next book so you can't dismiss the bonus by saying it has no relevance when the author said she left crumbs for readers to theorize about, which leads me to believe she wants us to come up with different theories until she publishes the next book where we'll know for sure if we nailed it or not.

#gwynriel #gwyneth berdara

[bryce-bucher]

500 CALIBER CONTRACTZ Post #13

Tha Pole-vault:

I added what is hopefully the final move to the moveset. It's a sort of pole-vault that you use to fling yourself around.

Aside from just letting you flip around tho, it also partially converts your horizontal momentum into vertical momentum. This means that if you are going fast enough, you can fling yourself up real high.

Wow wow woowiwe woah

C4:

Put an explosive floatin around. U can grab it and it will immediately start counting down. You have to bring it to the bomb site before it explode can you believe it!!!1

In the factory level you're gonna use this to blow up the propaganda statue that the company funded to keep workers complacent.

aewsome

NEW SKINZZ:

I woke up in a cold horirible sweat with a dastardly idea to make some 2D billboarded skins for this game. I got to work immediately by grabbing a copy of flash 8 and making some shitty drawings with my mouse. What I ended up with is a skin that I'm calling Flash Trash:

(Oh yeah also this is a wip tutorial area dw about it) After putting this skin together I thought it would also be cool to make a similar skin as an homage to the thing thing flash games that served as a p big inspiration for this project as a whole. So I got to work again and put together thingthingthing:

Here are some behind tha scenes photos:

flash is so fun. I loved flash anims and games as a kid but I was too young to really figure out how to use it myself. Feel like I missed out tbh it is such a cool program.

Conclusion:

I'm sick af!!! Not in the good way!! I got some kinda food poisoning or something and it was existentially horrible! Been recovering from that steadily while still gettin some work done here and there. I've been putting together a whole tutorial area which I'll show off sometime. Once that is done I'll be ready to get some more playtesting done before moving on to getting the first two worlds completely finalized. Also played a lot of bombrush cyberfunk. Very cool game.

#screenshotsaturday #indiegamedev #gamedev #indiedev #game development #indiegames #lowpoly #y2k #y2k aesthetic #indie game #3d platformer #3dplatformer #sniper rifle #50 caliber 3d platformer #500 caliber contractz #50 cal #thing thing

[jingsyuans]

long ish buttttt

was thinking about ex jing yuan posts and my mind went to what if you add a kid into the mix: jing yuan obv loves his child dearly but he will unfortunately be using them just a wee bit to reel you back in school events,playdates just anything that would require a parent being there he’s insisting you two go together because dont you want your kid to spent time with their father he is soooo busy after all😞the entire event is just him trying to make you feel bad for “breaking up the family” or some good old “don’t you want them to grow up in a loving home”

Heaven forbid you start dating someone he will waste no time asserting you’re trying to get some rando to take his place.if your child isnt that fond of your partner so be prepared for jing yuan to slide in and act like you’re so cruel for being with someone who makes your child that unhappy shame on you☹️

It takes awhile but after decent amount of failed relationships you are starting to think maybe just maybe he was right(he’s been sabotaging behind the scenes).maybe you were just throwing a tantrum.when you go back to apologize to him it’s like talking to a wall why’s he being so stubborn now???.it almost makes you reconsider your previous conclusion until he brings up that the only way he’ll forgive you is if give him a second chance even if its not romantic right away(he will not honor this if you actually say yes) after you agree you have to constantly remind him that you two are in fact not back together at the moment but in his mind you’re just being difficult in fact he’s acting like you two never split

When you two actually get back to a point where romance is on the table he’s already planning on getting you pregnant a few more times as a just incase after all leaving him when you had just one kid was hard enough you wouldn’t even dare think about it if there was a few more running around esp since he’s got it in your head that leaving would make your children just so upset you wouldn’t want to stress them out right vjdjs kinda tired but i hope this makes sense

I DO like the idea of gaslighting daddy jy. This adds a really interesting layer to the toxic ex au! It would be even more tasty if it was because you did in fact get pregnant after he came in u forcefully from the post 😔 your first thought would be to get rid of the pregnancy as quick as you can, but perhaps you’ve always wanted to be a parent. It’s a difficult decision, and somehow, you ended up keeping it. You don’t plan to tell jing yuan, as you’re still reeling with the fact that he technically raped you. Thats what it was, but you hesitate with labeling it like that, even if you know it’s the truth. He forced it on you, and now you’re stuck with his baby because of it. Thats what he wanted, isn’t it?

And you can’t keep something like this away from him. You can try, but he’ll find out on his own if you never end up telling him. Once that happens, it’s pretty much over for you. There’s no way you’re going to keep the divine foresight’s baby away from him, it’s simply not going to happen. He’ll get the press involved if he has to in order to pressure you to cave. Whether you like it or not, jing yuan is one step closer now, a permanent part of your life. You’ll have to figure out how to tolerate him and play nice, because you don’t want your child to grow up in an unhappy family, do you?

Truly truly evil of him fr! Thank u so much for this brain worm, it’s a great idea for toxic ex JY 💕

#jing yuan #jing yuan x reader #honeyed gifts #toxic ex jing yuan #tw noncon #NonCon tw #toxic relationship

[shakingparadigm]

please tell me you've seen the vivinos posts where mizi gave till the flute/recorder while they were kids and ivan tries to steal it while he sleeps

wait THAT'S what he was trying to do??!!! I haven't actually seen the context for those photos so I never knew what they actually meant haha I left the alnst fandom for a while so when I came back recently I've been so shocked to find all the arts and posts that I've missed, I don't even think I saw the original post for these images I just found them floating around the internet

did you mean these? because if so, WOW I never even imagined it in that way hahaha I just thought Ivan was being silly or something!! It actually makes a lot more sense for his positioning if he was trying to take it while till was asleep... I actually have no idea why I hadn't come to that conclusion before, I might actually be a bit stupid ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ

Thanks anon! I'm going to think unhealthily about this fact as I attempt and fail to study for my tests today! Ivan trying to take Tills recorder, something that he calls his "only treasure" because it was given to him by Mizi... ohhh my goshhh...

(also I appreciate the fact that till received a recorder at such a young age and immediately started playing it. Like I think a recorder is pretty different to a guitar which seems to be his main instrument, yet he learned to play the recorder and seems to play it consistently even? puppy love is truly a strong power)

#asks #alnst #alien stage #alien stage till #ivantill #alien stage ivan

[naffeclipse]

I saw all those harpy Penguin posts and was like "I wonder if I could help or add something" when I noticed you wanted a name for it. Idk if you already have one but here is the essence of it I have so far in general.

Cardinal Instinct, or also words or phrases and concepts such as Nature vs Nuture, Core Instincts, Celestial Alingment, Harmonic Convergence.

Cardinal because it means most important or fundamental, and it is an aspect of the Zodiac signs with Cardinal, Fixed and Muted nature's based on the cycles of seasons and their phases of the start, the intrinsic bulk and the transitional conclusion.

It also is a play on Carnal, similar to how Apex Polarity is both a play on the phrase Apex Predator and Polarity with Polar, or maybe even also just with the Poles. It is also a reference to Cardinal directions, which are the defined and known directions on a compass, they are the familiar and known paths that are often taken because they form our understanding of the world and everything in it. But although they are the most formal they are most certainly not the only ways.

This references how Eclipse and PenguinHarpy!Y/N are both following their Instincts but also are in a situation where they are coming into question. They are both trying to care for the babies, but Penguin Y/N shouldn't by the technical detail of them not being Harpies but Orca Mer young, while it makes more sense for Eclipse to be compelled to tend to them. But Eclipse Is also bending the situation when he refrains from just following that direct line of instinct, naturally arriving at the typical bloody conclusion.

While nurture is what compelled our Harpy Y/N to take these 2 baby mers under their wings literally, it's up to Eclipse to either follow the vein straight to the scent of blood at the end or deviate from nature's course and answer in kind. The heart flows both in and out, and it's nature is as entrenched in its deep and darker reaches as it is swathed in the warmer and brighter patterns where the light touches.

But we all know at the end of the day if Eclipse gets what he wants he's taking a birdie home along with the two newly adopted children.

On another note I also did ponder over the concept of Sun and Moon being in the same universe as Apex Polarity, and my interpretation/idea was Sun being a Beluga and Moon being a Narwhal. Beluga fits Sun's personality quite a bit, but I will admit I cannot imagine how the heck you'd be able to fit that goofy-ass horn on Moon. I just wanted to mention this for the mental image of magical sea unicorn Moon and musical sea canary Sun for fun.

I love Cardinal Instinct! It flows well, has lots of thought and meaning behind it, and mirrors the structure name of Apex Polarity! I'd love to use that for the AU title if you don't mind!!! The dynamics of Orca!Eclipse and Penguin Harpy!Y/N are so well defined and explored within a few paragraphs, I'm in awe!

(He's absolutely taking a birdie home along with his babies)

That's so cute!!! A natural musical ability and a beautiful white and yellow tipped tail for Sun, and a majestic tusk for Moon with a tail of deep blue mottled with white markings like stars! I'm pondering some kind of sea shell or maybe even twisting his tusk into a head cap instead of a large canine tooth.

Regardless, these two would be much more mild-mannered with our lovely photographer, though no less interested in Y/N.

Excellent thoughts all around; I'm chewing on your every word!

#inkofheart #apex polarity #cardinal instinct #siren babies #orca!eclipse #harpy!reader #beluga!sun #narwhal!moon

[getosbigballsack]

Thank you thank you thank you bc i was choking with this idea. I love requesting you my ideas 😭. It's some angst/smut bc I love a we-can't-be-together-but-I-love-you-so-much-it-hurts-and-you're-ruining-my-life-bc-of-this sex

Ok, so maybe something with best friend Gojo where they have a thing and are very passionate about each other, but every time they try to be bf and gf they don't work out, they fight a lot and go back to old habits, like she starts drinking and he smoking tons. So they're best friends in a very co-dependent relationship, they hook up some times because they just can't keep their hands to themselves and when they try to be intimate with other people isn't the same, and there's this day that they fight like screaming, tears and cussing at each other (maybe jealousy motive) and she's like "I'm done" and goes out of the door and the cycle restarts again

𝑩𝒂𝒅 𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 - 𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅

𝑻𝒐𝒙𝒊𝒄! 𝑩𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝑮𝒐𝒋𝒐 𝑺𝒂𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒖 𝒙 𝑻𝒐𝒙𝒊𝒄! 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒀/𝑵

𝑺𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔: 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑪𝒂𝒏 𝑰 𝑺𝒂𝒚 𝑰𝒕𝒔 𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅. 𝑵𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒂𝒚𝒔, 𝒏𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒐, 𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒐 𝒃𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 - 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑹𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕

𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈: 𝒕𝒐𝒙𝒊𝒄 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒔, 𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒔𝒊𝒈𝒏𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒆𝒙, 𝒖𝒏𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒓𝒂𝒘 𝒔𝒆𝒙 (𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒔𝒄𝒆𝒏𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒈𝒍𝒆 𝒅𝒐𝒄𝒔) 𝒕𝒚𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒔𝒄𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒔.

𝑨/𝑵: 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝑰 𝒖𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒔 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒐 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕ꨄ︎

𝑩𝒂𝒅 𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 - 𝑴𝑮𝑲 𝒇𝒕 𝑪𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒂 𝑪𝒂𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒐, 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝑾𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰𝒕 𝑾𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒔 - 𝑺𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒂 𝑮𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒛, 𝒏𝑬𝑿𝒕 - 𝑺𝒆𝒗𝒚𝒏 𝑺𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒕 𝑲𝒊𝒅 𝑰𝒏𝒌, 𝑩𝒂𝒅 𝒂𝒕 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝑯𝒂𝒍𝒔𝒆𝒚, 𝑻𝒐𝒙𝒊𝒄 - 𝑲𝒆𝒉𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒊 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑩𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 - 𝑳𝒐𝒖𝒊𝒔 𝑻𝒐𝒎𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒐𝒏 𝒇𝒕 𝑩𝒆𝒃𝒆 𝑹𝒆𝒙𝒉𝒂. 𝑯𝒆𝒚 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒔, 𝑰'𝒎 𝒈𝒍𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒂 𝒇𝒆𝒘 𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒔. 𝑰'𝒗𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒌 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒆𝒘 𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰'𝒎 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒏𝒐𝒘. 𝑰 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒆𝒏𝒋𝒐𝒚 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈.

𝑾𝑪: 5.6𝒌

𝑹𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏✯ 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑮𝒐𝒋𝒐 𝑺𝒂𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒖'𝒔 𝑷𝒍𝒂𝒚 𝑷𝒆𝒏✯

𝑬𝒏𝒋𝒐𝒚❤︎

Your relationship with your best friend Gojo has never been perfect, one moment you were best friends, the next you were lovers, then your enemies, you both break up and then you’re back to square one, the cycle just kept on repeating itself

An endless loop that has no beginning and most certainly does not have an end. And even if you tried to end the toxic cycle, everything just turned out to be the same again in the end. 

No matter what you did, no matter what he did and even tried, you both came to the conclusion that you need each other in order to survive. Without him, you were nothing and without you he’d be lost. There’s something between you and him, a certain fire in both your love. It was something that was unreleasable, to some your toxic love is unbelievable. 

And it can’t be helped that this relationship was too toxic, because for one you're both miserable without each other. You both found it hard to be in an intimate relationship with other people. The loving ain’t the same, the sex ain't the same, the late nate drunk and high conversation that you and him have were not the same. And even though this posed as an issue, when you both tried to work on being together in a relationship, it just seemed too hard. 

And despite that, you just couldn’t let him go and neither can he.

…

The last post on his Instagram stories had you fuming. 

He really did it again huh. 

You thought that this was the last time, he promised that he’ll never do this again, but look at him. Smiling as if the world is revolving around him, dancing as if he did not have one care in the world. A fat blunt between his lips and hand wrapped around a blonde girl's waist as they grind against each other to the beat of the music. 

“How could he do this to me,” you cried as you slammed the taxi door shut and angrily made your way inside the party you knew he would be at. 

“Ma’am you can not enter without an ID,” the bouncer said to you right as you were about to walk inside the nightclub. 

“Is this fucking necessary” you yelled as you took your ID from your bra and presented the card to him. He said nothing as it regards to your rude outburst, he just shook his head and let you pass him.

As you entered the party, you wasted no time in finding something to throw at your cheating ass boyfriend

… 

“Hey yow! Satoru, isn’t that your girlfriend?” Geto asked, hand trembling as he pointed towards you as he watched as you grabbed a bottle from the kitchen counter and briskly made your way toward them. “HEY, FUCK SATORU, ISN’T THAT YOUR GIRL?”

“Who?” Gojo asked. 

“Fucking hell, dude. Y/N, how the fuck you don’t know who your girlfriend is,” Geto asked. 

Gojo however chuckled as he turned his head slightly to the side to look at his friend who looked frightened to see you here at a party that Gojo told him to keep a secret from you. “So she’s finally seen it huh?” Gojo asked beneath his breath as a wicked smile grew on his lips. “Where is she?” 

“Hey, hey, Y/N Fuck,” Geto screamed, ducking his head to avoid the glass bottle that was meant for Gojo, and whoever that girl was who was standing beside of him. Gojo quickly spun around to see you dressed in his white button up shirt, white thigh highs, and black fluffy slippers. The sleeves of his shirt were resting below your shoulders, giving him a perfect view of that thin strapped bralette underneath. Your hair was messily put together and to top it off, tears were streaming from your eyes, smearing that black mascara upon your puffy flustered cheeks. 

He smiled, he loved seeing you this way. This looked suited you best when you’re with him. 

“Oh my fucking God, Y/n. Don’t aim at me. He’s the one you’re here for, not me,” Geto yelled before looking over at his best friend who was already smirking wickedly at you. “You’re a fucking asshole Gojo.”

“She deserved it,” he mumbled underneath his breath. “I told her to stay the fuck away from that guy, but she didn’t.”

“She didn’t fuck him though,” Geto argued as he turned his head to gaze upon you who was just waiting for Gojo to unwrap his arms from that girl’s waist and explain why he was here at this party, smoking weed, while dancing and kissing on that girl he knew that you didn’t like. 

“Yeah, but she would’ve,” Gojo said to Geto. 

“You’re a fucking ass hole. You don’t want to be with her one minute then the next minute you do. If she starts talking to a guy, you either lock her up in your fucking room and fuck her as punishment or beat the guy the fuck up. What the fuck do you actually want from her?” Geto asked. 

This has been a question that almost everyone asked whenever someone brought up the toxic, unhealthy relationship between you two. It was clear and obvious that you two weren’t compatible at all, but at the same time it just seemed that you two just fit perfectly together in a puzzle. 

You hated him and he hated you. But at the same time, you love him and he loves you too. No matter how hard you two fought, malice, cheated just to spite each other, you both always ended up back together the next day, apologising as if nothing had ever happened. 

It became tiring at times, to the point where you both just gave up trying, just to break whatever you both had going on, but you and him both knew that you’d forever be stuck in the endless cycle of toxicity and heartbreak with him, until the very end of both your existence. 

It was too much, but this is what you’re both used to, after all. He’s your best friend too and you’re his. You’ve been there for each other since the very beginning and will always be there until the very end. 

“Huh Satoru, what do you want from her,” Geto asked. 

“For her to stop fucking around,” Gojo answered. Geto scoffed while shaking his head, before looking over at you, who was now pulling the buttons of Gojo’s shirt (the one that you had on), revealing the black lingerie you had on underneath. “Oh fuck.”

“YOU DO THIS TO ME AGAIN,” You cried hand resting on your hips. “You said you were coming back. And I’m at home, your house, in your fucking room, in our room waiting for you while you’re out here, smoking, getting drunk and kissing on that fucking bitch.”

“Who are you calling a bitch?” the girl asked.

“Shut up,” Gojo whispered to the girl as his smirk grew wider, “You look hot mama, is that for me? Are you gonna show everyone what’s meant for me? You should’ve sent a picture if you wanted me to come home so badly.” 

“Why are you doing this to me?” you cried. “You promised. You fucking PROMISED that we won’t ever have to go through this again.WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS ME,” you screamed as you took off your fluffy slippers and aimed it at him head. He caught it before it could hit him and smiled. 

“A promise is a comfort to a fool, I guess you fell for that one too huh baby,” he chuckled as he pulled the girl closer to him and kissed her on her cheek. “I was just about to have some fun, so why don’t you go back home and wait for me like you always do. Hm?” Then he tossed your slipper back to you. “Or you could always watch?”

He watched as a sexy pout formed itself on your lips, your hands shrugging off his shirt from your body and let it pool around your feet. Gasp could be heard from persons who were standing close and those who could see how well that lingerie fit your figure perfectly. You didn’t have the most perfect body shape, as a matter of fact your boyfriend, or whatever he is at this point, once told you that you were built like a 12 year old boy because of how small and petite you were. You had no boobs and your ass was non-existing, well you had a little booty but you were still what most people would call flat. 

But despite all of this, you still looked good in anything that you wear, especially lingerie that knew how to highlight your body’s best feature, hence the reason so many eyes were on you right now. 

“That’s the game you wanna play, Satoru?” you asked as you kicked his shirt aside while staring him dead in the eye. His jaw clenched tightly, his long finger digging into the girl’s shoulder as he watched as you turned your back to him while shouting, “Then let’s play this fucking game.” 

“Don’t make me laugh,” is what he said when you walked towards a random guy, who was a little less handsome than your boyfriend or whatever Gojo is, but he will just have to do. If Gojo wanted to mess around with that bitch then might as well have some fun yourself. You were tired of going back and forth with him, you were sick of him mistreating you then pretending as if everything was all peaches and cream. 

You were done with him loving you one minute then hating you the next. You were tired of this endless cycle and as much as you want it to end, you know damn well that after tonight, you’ll wake up the next morning or a couple days from now, (depending on how he reacts to this situation), cuddling and kissing him as if he hasn't done anything. 

“Hey handsome,” you said as you used the back of your hand to clean up your runny mascara a bit before smiling. “You have some fun? Sorry for my attire, but I hope you don’t mind it.” 

“Not at all,” the guy said, smiling back at you. You grabbed his arm and looped it around your waist keeping him close and pressed up against your body, something you knew that would anger because he didn’t like when people got too close to what he calls “his”. “My name is Bryan Ryu by the way.”

“You already know who I am,” you said and he chuckled while shaking his head. Almost everyone in the school knows who you were. “So how about we dance and have fun Bryan.”

“Hell yeah!” you smiled a bit at his answer to see Gojo glaring, his eyes filled with jealousy and rage. Serves him right, You thought as you and Bryan walked onto the dance floor. “Pissing your boyfriend off, you’re so daring I like that.” 

And with that said you chuckled, wiping the rest of your face to get rid of the mess before wrapping your arms around Bryan to dance the night away. 

Meanwhile… 

The girl, Sabina, the one that he came here to entertain was stuck trying to decide if it was ok for her to confront you for ruining her date with Gojo or if she should just piss you by kissing Gojo. 

Gojo on the other hand WAS trying to decide if he really wanted to start a fight and beat the fuck out of that guy who was looking extremely happy about dancing close to you or if he’ll just wait until he see him one a way before beating him up. 

The one way confrontation won’t do, not with how you were grinding that little booty of yours on the guy. Didn’t that guy know you were his, of course he had to know. The whole freaking school knows that you ARE Gojo’s girlfriend. I mean that sex tape that was leaked from his laptop was enough evidence to prove that you’ll be his and his only, no matter if he cheats on, tell you that he hates you or even watch as you cry your eyes out, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE HIS. 

“Are you really gonna just sit here and watch as she dances on Ryu in partially nothing?” Geto asked as he eyed you up and down, trying his hardest to hold back his whistle (because in all honesty, you're just hot), before looking at his best friend. 

“We’re on a date?” Sabina chipped in, “He’s already having fun with me. You don’t need that bit…”

“I dare you to call her a bitch Sabina,” Gojo said, cutting her off mid sentence while glaring at her. “Call my girlfriend a bitch and let’s see what happens.”

Yeah, Gojo hates when you were being called out of your name, especially by people you didn’t even interact with. While the history between you and Sabina was different, she still had no right to call you out of your name.

“Anyways… aren’t you gonna go get your girlfriend?” Geto asked. 

Gojo tilted his head to the side and gave Geto that look then replied, “Imma let her do her and see how long it’s gonna take before she pisses me off.”

“Aren’t you pissed off already?” Geto asked. 

“That’s the point,” he replied before turning his attention towards you. “I’m already pissed. She coming up in here with no fucking clothes on and dancing on another dude. In here making me look fucking stupid.” 

“But Gojo…” she called to him by touching his face. 

“What Sabina? Just leave me alone yeah. I’m pretty sure you can find another cock to hop on tonight, mine is currently unavailable.”

“Bu… But,” she stuttered. 

“Just go Sabina,” Geto said while waving his hand at her. “You knew what you were walking into right?” 

“Fuck you,” she said before grabbing her bag from the bar counter and walked away from them. 

“Looks like your boyfriend's date just left?” Bryan whispered as he grabbed hold of your waist and pulled you closer to his body. 

You giggled as you wrapped your hands around Bryan’s neck, your eyes moving to the side to look at Gojo who had his hand on his jaw and his fingers tapping against his soda can. His eyes, burning with anger and jealousy study how your body moved in sync with Bryan’s, oh you fucking did it this time. 

“Stop looking at him, we’re having fun aren’t we?” You asked and he chuckled while shaking his head yes. “Let’s just dance.” And as if on cue, Lollipop by Lil Wayne started to play. You hummed as you pulled away from Bryan slowly and walked a bit further from him and faced Gojo and you started to move your body to the flow of the music. 

“I didn’t know your girlfriend could dance like that,” Geto said while chuckling. “Damn she's really playing the little game you started with Sabina huh, you thought you could win, but look at you now. FUCK!”

He said nothing, he only sat there and watched while you teased him, while you made him look like a complete idiot. 

Stupid had to be your middle name. 

How dare you? Walking inside this party in nothing but his shirt and lingerie. Took off his shirt and now you’re dancing on Bryan as if you wanted to fuck him. How fucking dare you?

He gritted his teeth, fingers digging into his palms as he watched as you stooped down before Bryan with your legs slowly parting while moving your hips from side to side. Your hands slowly moving along the curves of your body, eyes closed as you let yourself relax and let go in the music. Gojo knew that you knew what the fuck  you were doing, turning him on while pissing him off at the same time.

You got a talent for always doing and saying stuff to riling him up, just to get his blood boiling and body lusting for you. He could feel his cock straining against the fabric of his tight jeans, the tip probably with precum at this point because in all honesty, even though you showing off what was rightfully his to everyone inside this party, you did look amazing in that lingerie and all he want to do was to rip that fabric from your body and fuck you silly. 

How long are you going to keep pissing me off, he thought as he watched as you slowly stood up and pressed your back against against Bryan’s shoulder, leaned your head against his shoulder and Bryan was dumb enough to rest his hand on your hips as you moved your waist in slow, sensual semi-circular motion while swaying from side to side. 

He swore he saw Bryan visibly gulp, when you pressed your little booty into his crotch area, grinding that perfect little ass on his dick while biting your lips too in the process. Bryan licked his lips before looking towards Gojo who was already staring at him, his eyes burning with rage, as if he was daring Bryan and you to piss him off more than how he was already pissed. 

Bryan smirked, staring Gojo dead in his eyes as he moved his hand from your waist and slowly began to move up your body and rest it comfortably on your neck. Gojo's eyes twitched, his jaw clenched as he watched on. How long are you going to keep this up Y/N? He thought to himself, his hands itching to just pull you away from Bryan. 

You were really pushing it, you’ve done some pretty bold and daring things, but this, this was beyond brave or maybe you were just fucking stupid. You opened your eyes to glance at Gojo who looked like he was about to pop Bryan at any second. 

He looked like he was trying his best to hold his composure. But he couldn’t hold any long, not when you bent over into a perfect arch, your ass still pressed up against Bryans crotch as your waist continued to move in the flow of the music. 

Yeah, that did it for him. You watched as Gojo tossed his drink to the floor as he got up from his seat. Geto was quick to pull out his phone to record what was about to go down. Gojo pulled his shirt sleeves as he made his way toward you and as he got closer, you quickly pushed Bryan behind you just so that Gojo couldn’t get to him. 

Don’t know if I, the author, mentioned this, but Gojo had a habit of putting his hands on anyone who dares to touch you inappropriately, even if you were the one to start it. “We’re leaving, Y/N,” Gojo said to you. 

“No.” you answered. 

“I said we’re leaving,” he said to you once again as he grabbed onto your arm and pulled you away from Bryan. 

As he was about to walk away with you, you yanked your hand away from his and said, “I said no. If you wanna leave then fucking leave. We didn’t come here together now did we. You were about to have fun with another one of your side pieces, now leave me and let me have my fun.”

He groaned, the veins popping against his forehead, “Stop fucking playing with me, Stupid and let’s go.” He gripped your arm again and yanked you towards him. “My patience is stretching thin with you.”

“I don’t care,” you answered and pulled away from him. 

Frustrated, Gojo ran his finger through his hair before grabbing you again, this time though Bryan, your little friend made the mistake to grab onto you and pulled you back. “Oh,” Gojo said as he watched as you smirked and held onto Bryan’s hand tightly. 

“She said go.”

“You speak for my girlfriend now?” Gojo asked through clenched teeth. 

“Girlfriend? What kind of guy leaves his girlfriend at home to come and have fun with another girl?” Bryan asked while smirking at Gojo. “Hm, you left such a pretty little thing at home for what a quick fuck. If she were mine I would never leave such a pretty girl at home.” 

“And, so what? How is that your problem?” Gojo asked, fist clenching as he towered over Bryan. The man gulped as he stared up at Gojo, his tongue felt tied and words caught in his throat. How was he gonna answer that? “Got nothing to say?” Gojo asked. Bryan chuckled, only to hide the fact that he felt a bit intimidated by Gojo. “That’s what I fucking thought.”

Gojo pushed Bryan out of his way just so that he could pick you up and toss you over his shoulder. You were about to make a fuss, but is it worth it? Maybe not. You sighed heavily and closed your eyes as he walked you both outside of the party and into the parking lot.

“You just really know to piss me off huh?” Gojo asked as he placed you “gently” on the ground next to his car and pushed you up against it. 

“Fuck off Gojo, none of this would never had to happen if you just came,” you screamed at him. 

He hissed his teeth and pushed you up against the car door more and yelled, “I wanted to have some fucking fun.” 

“With another BITCH GOJO? What the fuck is wrong with you?” you asked him as tears pricked your waterline.

“Me? What the fuck is wrong you Y/N?” he asked as he reached up to grip your jaw and pull your face closer to his. “What is the issue? What? You're mad because I came to a party to hang with Sabina?” You tried to pull your head away from his hand, but the grip he had on your jaw kept your head in place. “You’re fucking ridiculous and stupid you know that?”

“You’re the stupid one in the relationship Gojo?” You said to him. “You had no right to leave me at home by myself. Waiting for you like an idiot while you have fun with that bitch.” 

“Yeah and what gave you the right leave the fucking house dressed in this and then to a party to show off what mine?” He said to you, “And on top that you had the Audacity to Dance on that prick in front of me. Embarrassing me and yourself.”

“You kissed that bitch, so I made the playing ground even,” you said to him even though it sounded stupid. 

“Even by what? Throwing your ass back on that CUNT! If I didn’t come for you what you gonna do then hm? What were you gonna do? FUCK HIM?” he asked. 

You swallowed and let the tears rolled your cheeks as you answered, “Yeah I would fuck him and would have probably done a better job than you anyway.” 

“What?” 

“You heard me. He would probably treat me and fuck me way better than you di…” Gojo shut you with a harsh kiss to your lips. His big hand around your throat, lips moulding perfectly with yours. His soft lips hungrily dominating your lips, his kiss so wet and hot you felt as if he was about to suck every single breath from your body. 

“He can fuck you better than I can huh?” he asked as he continued to devour your lips. “Get in the fucking car.”

And with that said he pulled away from your lips, pulled you from the car and opened the passenger door for you to get inside before getting inside himself. Oh you know what is about to happen when you get home. He didn’t wait until you were inside the house when he pulled up to strip you from your lingerie. 

The next thing you know, you were on the bed, with your legs around his neck, while he ate your pussy out.

Oh here it comes.

The repetitive cycle is in full swing. 

… 

You screamed. 

Your heart hammering heavily against your chest as you tried to regulate your breathing, but the way Gojo hips were smacking into your ass repeatedly prevented you from doing so. 

“I bet Bryan couldn’t fuck you like this huh?” he asked as he yanked you up by your arms, pressed his chest into your arched back, while wrapping his other hand around your neck to hold you tight against his body as he thrust in and out of your wet, dripping, weeping pussy. 

“I bet… he could do… better,” you replied, stuttering and out of breath. Gojo groaned and squeezed your neck tight as his hips bucked into you with one harsh, hard and deep thrust. “Fuck ugh..” you cried. Your pussy was trembling, thigh quaking, your nails digging into his skin with each harsh impact. 

You can feel his heavy balls smacking against your drenched folds, the warmth of his girth stretching your aching cunt around him like you always do, your whole body was trembling in his hold. “You just know how to piss me the fuck off,” he breathed into your ear. He drew out to penetrate even deeper inside than you had ever experienced during your sex with him. His hips were unrelenting; despite your pleas, he was still moving his hip in deep strokes that made your thighs tremble and your knees weak.

Your wet pussy's wet noises had him groaning and moaning in your ear. He slid his hand from your neck to grasp your breast and pinched your nipple, which had you wailing his name over and over again as he continued to thrust deeply, loving how your pussy enticed him and hugged his cock like a glove. Your arousal flooded your pussy, slick sliding between your thighs and down his shaft.

“Fuck…”

“You're always testing my patience with your bullshit,” he mumbled lowly in your ear before biting gently at the lobe. 

“Fuck you,” you moaned, your wrist tensed as you leaned back and thrust your hips to meet his already pistoning hips. 

He cursed, his hand moving from your breast to wrap around your neck, “Oh, but you’re fucking me arent you?” he asked, biting your ear once more as he picked up a bit more speed, you cried out and squeezed your eyes shut as his pelvis repeatedly slammed against your ass.

“Ha… Hate you,” you moaned out. 

“Ha… funny. You hate me but here you are fucking yourself on my cock like a bitch in heat.” He cursed and gave you a hard thrust that had you gasping and chanting his name repeatedly. The searing smack of his hips against your grew louder with every thrust, you could almost feel the bed trembling beneath you. 

It became difficult for you to breathe because of how lovely it felt to have your boyfriend mercilessly assaulting your pussy, to use you as he owned handmade flesh light and his as his cock stroked against the spongy good area within you, your body felt hotter and your eyes couldn't help but slowly roll to the back of your head.

“You fucking love me,” he said to you. Every pang of anguish was gradually replaced by mind-numbing, overpowering pleasure. He yanked his hand away from your hips for a split second before fiercely whacking the left side of your ass cheek, leading you to fling yourself back against him at the same rate he was.

“No… I hate you,” you said to him as your waterline pricked with tears, some were even running down your cheek already. 

“Yeah keep telling yourself that,” he groaned and bit into your shoulder. There was a sudden heat rising in your tummy and you moaned out. 

“Fuck imma cum.” He groaned into your shoulder, his fingers moving from your ass cheek and dipped it between your thighs to play with your throbbing clit. Your thighs shivered from the new added stimulation on your pussy. 

“Stupid,” he moaned, smirking when your body began to shake against him. The heat in your tummy grew even hotter, your thigh felt numb, you were so close almost there.  “Cum for me Stupid,” and that’s all you needed to hear before your pussy clenched and your walls quivered as you cum around his shaft. 

“Fuck… Fuck…” you cried as your body trembled from your intense orgasm. Gojo groaned in your ear, his finger pinching your clit as he continued to thrust inside your now overstimulated pussy, he wasn’t going to stop until he drained every bit of cum from your pussy. 

“Oh fuck yeah. I bet Bryan’s dreaming about this pussy now huh. Fuck I should just snap him a picture of your pussy creaming around my cock,” Gojo said as he continued his assault on you. 

You on the other hand was tired, your body was drained from all the energy you used earlier to scream and shout at him for being a terrible boyfriend. You tried to pull away from his hip, but Gojo had other plans from your pussy. He shoved you against the mattress, “Where the fuck do you think you’re going, I’m not done yet.” 

You gasped, feeling his fingers digging into the flesh of your ass to spread out your ass cheeks to get a better view of his cock slipping out of your pussy. “Can’t take no more,” you cried. 

“Oh but you can,” he said before snapping his hips forwards to thrust his cock deep into your hole. 

“Fuck,” you screamed. But he groaned in satisfaction when he felt your walls pulsing around his cock. He knew he was hurting you but he didn’t care he was to fucking gone to even care about the tears that were still rolling down your cheeks. 

You yelped, face pressed into the sheets, as he drew his hips back and plunged into you again. “Mhmm ugh,” your moaned muffled into the sheets. He was so fucking deep you swore you could feel him poking out of your belly. He was thrusting fast and hard enough for you to feel the languid strokes that had your back coming out of that perfect arch he placed you in when he shoved you into the mattress. 

You want to pulled away from him, and you were but then he smacked his heavy hand against you ass, and grunted, “Press that fucking chest back into the sheets and don’t fucking move. I bet if it were Bryan you would have laid here and took his cock like a fucking champ.” He once again grabbed both your hands with one hand and carried them behind your back. Then he pushed you back down and again made your back arch yet again as he watched as your pussy welcomed him inside your soaking wet, overstimulated pussy. You were fucking dripping all over his cock. 

“No Satoru… fuck this hurts,” you cried out. “Can’t take it,” you muffled against the bed. You wished to move but were unable to do so. The grasp he had on your hands kept you in place as he accelerated his speed. You couldn't do anything but accept what he was offering.

“Fucking whore,” he answered, chuckling while his pelvis repeatedly slammed into your ass. You could feel the curve of his cock kissing the wall of your pussy with each thrust. “You can take my cock. Remember you took it up your ass a few times yeah, so what the problem now?” 

You felt shame, why did he have to bring that up now. “Asshole! It… Ahh It hurts,” you cried yet again. 

“Oh okay,” he said as he gave you another hard thrust which made you gasp.He was fucking you so quickly and so hard that the searing smack of skin on flesh became so loud that your neighbors could definitely hear. You were out of breath, you needed to breathe, but you knew the only way he'd slow down was by cumming. You had no choice but to cum again.

And, as much as it pains you, you fucking liked it. Anyway, when he reached the end of you, every fucking sting of was being numbed by mind-numbing bliss. “C’mon slut, you gonna cum?” he asked as he smacked you with his hand yet again. 

"Yes," you sobbed as he continued to pound that area within you. Your body was becoming hot, and every time he hit that area inside you, he knocked even more fucking air out of your gasping body. Your eyes were welling up with tears. This is your punishment for making him jealous. You were so close, so close, and you wanted him to play with clit to give you that additional stimulation you needed, but you knew who Gojo was and you knew he would deny you that amazing extra pleasure you needed.

“Come on now,” he groaned. “I can feel your pussy clenching and sucking around me. Want me to play with that little clit for you? he teased and you shook your head yes. “Maybe later. Now fucking cum for me.” 

He whacked your ass again, and your body twitched. Your thighs clenched, and your body began to shake. You were almost there, cumming all over his cock with one final brutal thrust. Your mouth made a ragged sound as you moaned out for him. You tried to squirm away from him, but he just grasped your hands harder and fucked you until you were done cumming around his cock again.

“Stop now, please,” you cried, but oh Gojo wasn’t done yet. He still had more he wanted to do to you before the night was over. 

“Turn around and come suck your fucking juices off my cock.” 

Oh what a fucking night this is going to be…

𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒅𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒖𝒚𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌? 𝑹𝒆𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒔, 𝑳𝒊𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒅𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅. 𝑰'𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒆 𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒉𝒊𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒔 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒂 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒐𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒐𝒌 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒔❤︎

@getosbigballsack 2023

𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝑻𝒂𝒈𝒔 𝒕𝒐: @oikawaamyfavboy, @blueorion and @noroi1000 ❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎

#gojo satoru #jjk gojo #jujutsu kaisen gojo #gojo smut #gojo imagine #gojo satoru x reader #satoru gojo #gojo satoru headcanons #yandere satoru gojo #gojo fanfic #gojo headcanons #gojo satoru imagines #gojo satoru fanfic #jjk smut #jjk angst #jjk imagines #jjk gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen satoru #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jujutsu gojo #jujutsu kaisen geto #geto suguru #jjk geto