#i never even engaged in or was interested in shipping the several years i read dunmeshi EXCEPT laishuro lol

[imaybe5tupid]

Why bother? (Why bother?) It's gonna hurt me. (It's gonna hurt me.) It's gonna kill when- (Why bother!) -You desert me! (Gonna hurt me!)

Set after Nightmare. Laios is reminiscing and contemplating.

#laishuro #laios touden #i make a lot of jokes on here since part of the fun of this blog for me is limiting myself to only expressing ideas via drawings #as much as I can to try to see what I can try to convey in the limited time I have to draw each day which is sometimes like 15minutes #but laios idea of who shuro was to him and who he continues to be and how it ties into his own feelings of self worth and self hatred #not to mention being so thoroughly defined by having never been indulged before by the men in his life #are so compelling to me #and then of course you mix in toshiros own mind prisons #and their established dynamic of him begrudgingly putting up with him because he feels he has to and bc hes cursed with obedience #whilst laios genuinely thinks shuro does it because he likes it and likes laios because why else would anyone act like that #when everyone else in his life has not hesitated to Let Him Know #this is what is so fun about relationships like this…forever passing by each other’s true feelings like ships in the night #and on toshiros side umineko said it best People are riddles. They want someone else to solve their riddle #they live life wanting someone to solve the riddle that they are #the most difficult riddle in the world #without love the truth cannot be seen sighhhh many such cases #sometimes i get embarassed how deep i get for some of the characters in this series it really is that deep sometimes but not always #but WHATEVER #i never even engaged in or was interested in shipping the several years i read dunmeshi EXCEPT laishuro lol #which i sadistically wanted to stay one sided and miserable forever. I rarely get fed such genuinely fraught dynamics as their one in manga #so i became obsessed #and walked through the desert alone for 40 years and then checked in as anime started airing that other people ship this and gaf #and decided to unleash the jokes and ideas that my like 2 friend who like anime previously suffered alone as though they were jesus christ #now tho as much as I still enjoy tragedy and pain and emotional suffering I’ve let love and peace and requited fulfilled yaoi into my life #with laishuro. and its great! #my comics

[askagamedev]

Have you, or some of your colleagues, ever worked on a game you didn't particularly like? Not like "the creative team is wrong and I hate it", but more like your taste didn't align with the director's, or the game wasn't something you'd care to play. If so, how do you cope with that, given that projects can last for several years, often with intense working conditions?

Thanks for the blog!! It's always a great read.

My very first job in the game industry was working on a game in a genre I had little personal interest in, programming parts of the game I never had any particular interest in. I was quite far away from the kind of games I grew up playing or dreamed of making, but I did my best anyway because I knew that it was the best opportunity I had to get to where I wanted to be. Since then, I've worked on projects that I thought were great until they got cancelled, projects where I didn't see eye to eye with the creative leadership, and all sorts of other projects besides.

Even if the big picture game isn't in my particular wheelhouse, that doesn't mean I can't do my best to solve the problems I'm tasked with. I enjoy coming up with creative and engaging ways to grab the attention of the target players. Even if the game isn't to my taste, the problems I solve are still interesting and the solutions I deliver can still be clever, elegant, and robust. I can still do work that I can be proud of. This is what it means to be professional - I'll always deliver high quality work at a shippable level, even if I don't personally enjoy the game I am making.

Taking a step further back beyond the personal circle, I've also learned that the project itself doesn't mean much if I'm not working with people I can enjoy collaborating with, no matter what dream IP or concept it might be. What really matters are the people I work with, not the project itself. If I work with great people, the project will be great. If there's no team cohesion or camaraderie, the project can't be great. I remember going from a team with little cohesion and noncommittal leadership (leading to terrible morale) to a team with stronger leadership and cohesion. I know that my morale palpably improved after transitioning off of the first team and onto the second.

That's really the long and the short of it - on a personal level, I get more job satisfaction when I'm solving interesting problems and challenging myself to level up as a designer, engineer, and developer. On a project level, my morale is higher when I'm working with people I feel I can trust to do their jobs and that we can all work towards well-defined common goals. The particular game idea, story, genre, etc. tends to take a back seat to both my role and my team. Without a good role and team, I'll be miserable and even the most interesting game idea or IP in the world wouldn't be enough to keep me from looking to jump ship.

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#in my experience #how things work #team morale #professionalism #game development career

[ingravinoveritas]

hi again! you might already know about this, but i really felt like bringing it up to you!

turns out michael's mom is pretty active on twitter and these past few days she's been engaging nonstop with tweets talking about aziracrow being in love. she's definitelymichael's #1 fan, but i couldn't help noticing the amount of not-about-characters stuff she seems to engage with too. Among tweets talking about Aziraphale's loving stare, queer fans making our usual queer jokes and remarks about them, michael reading fanfiction, miles maitland gifs, there's a good amount of... this. She surely has liked random stuff among the 14.6k rts/likes she has, so i'm attatching some examples of what she's been liking and rting because-- what the hell (i even spotted one of your tweets in the mix!) she even liked a tweet calling AL and GT innefable wives ??

my first thought was how embarrased i'd personally be if my mom was seeing comments online about me and my best buddy being madly in love, let alone engaging with them, but after it settled i'm just... in awe that this probably +70 y/o woman is being this supportive over social media 😭 so heart warming (btw i'm sorry for randomly popping up into your questions twice today- i have literally made this account after finding yours, feeling a bit less alone in the world)

(Grouping these two Asks together since they are related.) Ask #1: Hi there! No need at all to apologize for being in my inbox twice in same day. I'm so glad that my blog has been helpful and meaningful to you, and that you felt compelled to write in as a result. Welcome aboard!

So, Mama Sheen. She's been doing this for years--at least since 2019, when I first started following Michael on Twitter--but I will tell you my slightly crackpot theory, which is that for a while back in the day, I thought that maybe her account was actually Michael's secret alt account. (What better place to hide than in plain sight, after all...). I'm not so sure about that now, of course, but it's been really interesting to see her retweeting so much shippy stuff involving Michael and David, and as both you and @tamose pointed out, she especially seems to have ramped it up since GO 2 came out.

I also wanted to touch on you describing Mama Sheen as Michael's #1 fan, because although I wholeheartedly agree, it's a curious thing to me that we can more easily see her as Michael's number one fan than his own girlfriend. It's Mama Sheen--not AL--who has been retweeting all of this, who's been cheering him on, engaging with fan content, and retweeting all things Ineffable Husbands/GO 2. I've written on my blog previously about how I've never really seen AL be supportive of him (and how she spent much of 2020 and 2021 making fun of his appearance/fat-shaming him), as well as how she is not at all part of that polyamorous/throuple dynamic with Michael, David, and Georgia. And while I know the lack of engagement and carefully calculated interactions/posts could be chalked up to her not being able to promote the show due to the SAG strike, that doesn't really excuse her tepid support of Michael himself.

(Also, don't even get me started on the cringeyness of Georgia and AL as Ineffable Wives, not to mention how insulting it is to David and Michael personally and to their work as professionals to suggest that they are replaceable/that Georgia and AL (or anyone else) could play Aziraphale and Crowley and give us the same dynamic and chemistry we saw on screen...)

But yes, going back to Mama Sheen, I have long thought that she seems to ship Michael and David, and how sweet and heartwarming it would be if Michael brought David over for tea or dinner--especially because his own mother passed away several years ago--and no doubt Mama Sheen would dote on him and make sure he's fed and happy. It's especially interesting to contemplate when we see this picture from the Bright Young Things UK premiere in 2003, which almost looks like Mama (and Papa) Sheen posing with Michael and his kilt-wearing Scottish boyfriend:

Beautiful. Well, it's certainly something delightful to think about, at any rate. Whatever the case may be, I fully agree that it is lovely to see Michael's mom being so supportive and accepting of her son, particularly in the midst of such a hostile, anti-LGBTQ climate in the UK. We love you, Mama Sheen! ❤️

#armangelus #tamose #reply post #michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #david tennant #soft scottish hipster gigolo #mama sheen #also seeing one of my tweets pop up in a fandom context will never not be amusing to me #first my thread about fanfic going viral in 2019 #then Neil flirting with me two years ago #i don't even know anymore #tell me again that they're not a couple #Mama always knows #ineffable lovers #discourse

[rey-jake-therapist]

It's kinda hilarious but mostly sad for me that from the moment I muted the JohnLock tag because I was tired of seeing so-called TLJCers "meta posts" from 8 years ago and was looking in vain for Sherlock fans who had other interests than a non canon ship, I just... Don't see Sherlock related posts anymore? Except for a couple of Adlock and Sherlolly posts, but I don't engage with these ships either so 🤷

I took my Sherlock x OC fic off AO3 because I ended up losing interest. Never did I take off a fic from AO3 after only three chapters! And it wasn't even because it wasn't read: I was actually surprised to see it bookmarked, receive several kudos and even a couple of lovely comments. The kudos were anonymous for most of them but so what. It was nice to see the attention anyways. So it's not a case of "woman bitter because her shitty fanfic wasn't successful". Considering I had only three chapters online, it was a promising start.

Yet, I lost interest because my passion for the show wasn't fed by exchanges with other fans. I mean, I had a few very nice discussions, -I don't want to tag anyone but the three of you I have discussed Sherlock with several times should easily recognize themselves 💜-, but before I muted the JL tag I spent more time scrolling down than anything else. I think it's a shame because there was so much to this show than a ship. With my story I wanted to explore Sherlock's past, uncover a potential trauma caused by something else than Victor Trevor's death, open a discussion about this, about his relationship with his brother, his sister and his parents.... And I KNOW that Sherlock's relationship with John, wether it's considered platonic or not, is very important. I just wish I could find something else to discuss than Sherlock's feelings for X or Y, or his sexuality.

Some could say it's pretty much the same thing for the Hannibal's fandom: there's no doubt that if I muted Hannigram I wouldn't find any Hannigram related posts. Or I'd probably find anti Hannigram posts, ew. The big difference to me is that Will and Hannibal's relationship is at the core of the show. The show is called "Hannibal" but it could just as well be called "Hannibal and Will": even if you don't ship them, take the relationship out of the equation and the show has nothing left to say, like... Literally.

Don't get me wrong, Sherlock without the pair Sherlock/John would probably be crap, but it would still have Sherlock's relationship with his family to cover. And boy there's much to say, imho. While Hannibal has no one else than Will. Will has no one else than Hannibal. That's the story. Also Hannigram is canon. So it makes sense to me that most of the fandom's posts are focused on Will and Hannibal. It hasn't stopped me from starting a pre-Hannigram fic because I'm very intrigued by the professor Lecter had an affair/student Alana Bloom storyline they hinted at in season 2, but I know I won't lost interest in this fandom anytime soon, because I feel fed by it. And this weird/toxic/and yet very romantic relationship between these two weirdos keeps fascinating me, even after four rewatchings! Besides, most Hannibal fans are unhinged which is I must say, a quality I appreciate very much 😁

#Fandom rant #i'm sorry #Sherlock bbc #hannibal tv show #Hannibal nbc #anti johnlock #Anti Adlock #Anti Sherlolly #hannigram #Putting the anti tags here only to clarify it's not a pro shipping post. I don't hate the ships! I'm just not interested in them. #Hannibal series

[not-poignant]

You have a very broad readership; do you still, like most ao3 writers, use writing as a way to make friends? If so, how do you manage both to make connections and keep from uncomfortable parasocial engagements?

(admitting: I like your work a lot, I have a similar interest in writing trauma and recovery, I would like to befriend you, but I don't want to bother you bc lots of people want to be friend with writers they like and there's no way you'd have energy for all of them!)

Hi hi anon,

So...this response might be disappointing, but I didn't use fanfiction writing as a way of making friends. That's not why I started, and it's never been the reason for me to be in fandom.

(Thoughts about friendship and stuff under the read more, it's pretty personal so no obligation to read. The TL;DR is I am bad at friendship and I also am not like 'most AO3 writers' (is that really why most AO3 writers write?) in the sense that I never wrote fanfiction as a way to make friends and it's very weird to me sometimes that people actually do this as a motive).

When I turned up in fandom, it was a very private experience for me. I didn't know anyone else locally who shared the same fandom/s I do. When I shared fanfiction on Livejournal, I did so to complete strangers who I never got to know better, or to people who were already friends through other interests.

I've never gone to fandom conventions (there's few here, and I have severe social anxiety. By the time I thought about going I was in my late 30s, and just felt like I'd be too much of an outsider even among fellow outsiders - again, I shared almost no fandoms or ships with anyone I knew locally, and no one I'm friends with / know in person reads my fanfiction). Fandom was always an incredibly isolated experience for me.

When I joined AO3, it wasn't with a view to making friends. I was extremely burnt out, I'd quit my previous job as a professional artist because I couldn't see a way of making the income work out, and I just wanted to write a very angst-filled story that would help me deal with my loneliness which I didn't see as something that would ever change. Writing about a character who's experienced centuries of loneliness was like 'cool, yeah, I'm gonna write about him.'

I did end up making friends, but it was kind of by accident! And not all of those experiences were positive. One person in particular became quite toxic and cruel towards me, and I experienced my first kind of encounter with...I guess what I would call the uglier side of fandom life and also just friendship and relationships. It took me a long time to recover from that experience (and to learn what emotional abuse is), and after that I shut down and stopped kind of making friends on the internet.

I have made friends through the writing since (they're usually the mutuals I also have on Instagram, or here, or people I've DMed in Discord etc.), but I haven't really sought it out actively and I think anyone who knows me well enough that we've private messaged a few times, also knows that I'm quite aloof and reserved, and that I will engage quite deeply sometimes but then disappear for a few months (or years) re: communication, which is a remnant of a period of time where I used to get sometimes 200 Whatsapp messages in 5 minutes from someone who expected me to be accountable to her every second of every day when she was awake and wanted me to be.

On top of like, severe social anxiety + PTSD, and being very reserved in general, I would also say I'm very time poor. I don't have much time for the friends I already have and care about. I often view myself as quite a poor friend, who is not good at starting and even worse at maintaining connections. I'm also very private. As in, I will happily tell the world I have PTSD. But I won't tell my friends in a private conversation when I'm having a bad night, and I don't give friends many opportunities to connect. Even with really close friends, this is an ongoing issue that I'm working on.

So as for befriending, that's extremely sweet of you anon, but who I am in my personal life is sometimes very different to like... the way I can respond in comments or to anons, because it's actually easier for me to talk to strangers sometimes than it is for me to talk to friends, lol. I honestly think some of the people I consider my friends don't even know that I do, because I don't really behave like one. I chat online regularly to one person only, and one other person intermittently (and they're a romantic partner) and that's it. Everyone else I chat to pretty rarely in DM. But I do turn up in the Fae Tales Discord every day.

I don't actually think lots of people want to be my friend, tbh? Not in a 'woe is me' way, but simply because I think some people do grok that kind of... polite distance or that sort of warm 'I care for a lot of people but I am also quite personally walled off' kind of way. The good news is a lot of the folks in the Fae Tales Discord also share a lot of interest in writing trauma and recovery, or have those experiences, and I know a lot of good friends have been made within the like...faedom itself. A lot of neurodivergent, trauma-focused folks have met each other through this writing, and it's really cool seeing the different friendships that have sparked up between people. There's a lot of extremely like... skilled, talented, interesting people that I've met through this job, who I admire, respect and want the best for, and am very happy to talk to.

But yeah I'm a bit difficult to befriend, anon, and that's been an ongoing thing all my life, tbh. But it did specifically get worse in fandom because of some early fandom experiences when I started out in Rise of the Guardians fanfiction.

#asks and answers #personal #pia on fanfiction #tbh the idea of writing to make friends #is very strange and even a bit offputting to me #not that other people do it like i'm happy for them if they do #but it's just so far apart from why i started #i like making connections with my writing don't get me wrong #and i love meeting different people #but fandom was never a very social experience for me #to this day i hate discussing fandom headcanons with other people #and i don't like a lot of fandom meta #i always feel like i'm in fandom #and that i contribute to fandom #but in a very satellite / outsider kind of way #that's why i find it so easy to bounce from fandom to fandom once i'm done with a fic #i'm not saying i don't make friends with people in fandom ever #i'm saying i don't really make friends *in general* #and when i do those people often have no idea they are a friend because i'm not #very connected on a regular basis

[synnefo-nefeli]

Hi! I've been reading your ace attorney fics for a few years now and I just wanted to say that they're incredibly written and I just really wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your work and skill. I was in highschool when I first started reading your fics and I fell in love with strange days and It singlehandly rekindled my love of AA because it had been sometime since I had played any of them and I had absolutely no idea who apollo or klavier was at the time but you made them so interesting and engaging that I had to play the source material. But I was so enraptured with the story and with your construction of Klavier's character; specifically the way you wrote the way he spoke and carried himself with such an easy seduction that I became briefly convinced that there was no sexier or cooler language than German and as a result I am pretty much fluent in the language today. I'm not online much and I've never even sent anyone an ask before, but I was reminded of it this evening and this is just a slightly embarrassing gushy spur of the moment decision thing concicted from a very sleep deprived brain but I'd just like to tell you an amusing little tidbit- because knowing german won me a decent bit of clout with a very impressive scientist at my internship and I just wanted to thank you for starting that strange domino effect that has made a not insignificant impact on my life. (So sorry that this is dreadfully rambling but it's very late at the hour I'm writing this and I'm not sure I'd have the guts to send it proofread in the morning) but I just wanted to thank you.

Yours,

A very sleep-deprived engineering student

Anon,

I have been at a loss for words since receiving this kind note. Please excuse the late response, November and December weren’t good months for me health-wise and I wasn’t online much. But also, I have been stunned to write a response that is worthy of this note.

Anon, I wanted to say that upon reading this note, I cried. I never thought any of my works would have such an impact beyond feeding the klapollo ship tag on AO3.

And to hear that my story had such an impact upon your life just left me in awe of how we as people are connected through art/music/writing/fandom and we impact each other without ever really knowing whose hearts we touch and how. So to hear from someone and how a work impacted them for the positive, it’s too amazing to fathom.

I literally sat at my desk at work and cried- you reached me on a day where I was really going through it, and it honestly filled me with strength to keep going. I read this note several times over the days whenever I felt stuck and your words instantly cheered me.

This note has been the kindest and highest compliment I’ve ever received in the many years I’ve been writing fanfic. And from the bottom of my heart I thank you for taking the time and your candor in reaching out.

I wish you well in your studies, and good health and luck in 2024. Thank you for your support all of these years. I am truly grateful beyond words.

All the best and all my gratitude,

Saevam

#ace attorney #klapollo #apollo justice #klavier gavin #strange days #asks #i honestly sobbed when I read this note #human beings man #we can be so beautiful towards each other

[dreamylyfe-x]

I don't know where else to go to complain about fanfic comments, so I guess I'm going to do it here. Because I woke up to one today that annoyed me.

And ironically, I'm doing it on the second day of my summer vacation, which I had set aside anyway as a "day to attend to the fandom things that I need to attend to" -- of which there are several.

The first thing I need to say is that I'm desperately grateful for every single comment I receive on anything I've written -- fanfic or meta -- 99.5% of the time. This is just a vanishingly small sample of what I hear about stuff I've written.

But it's still so irritating.

Some background -- I wrote fanfic, a prodigious amount of it, in my very early 20s. For about three years I posted nearly daily. These were long WIPs and they got a fair amount of attention in that fandom, which means I also got some criticism. And I engaged the criticism fairly cheerfully. It's hard to be too insulted by someone who has still read hundreds of pages of your work, even if they are upset about something. It was also really normal, at the time, to tell a fic writer then their story was annoying you. And even an upset comment was better than no comments -- the absolute WORST thing you can experience -- so I was pretty ok with them.

But anyway -- life happened, I left that fandom and I stopped writing fic.

A good friend of mine still was and one day, in a fandom I never participated in but certainly knew a fair bit about, she had a bad experience. Her fic was nominated for a ship-centric fandom award (this is livejournal era) and some random group of fans took umbrage at the existence of these fandom awards and went through and gave snarky reviews of all the fics that had been nominated. Anonymously. My friend had not wanted this review and let it be known that she didn't like it. That violated some sort of fandom rule at the time and she got dragged for it. Authors were not supposed to object to criticism. Even if it was mean-spirited.

More years pass. It takes a good long while for a piece of media to grab me enough that I get sucked into a fandom again. But when it happens we are long into the Tumblr era. And I discover that the worm has turned and it is no longer considered good fandom behaviour to leave negative or critical comments.

As a fandom old, I find that I little curious. I don't leave negative comments personally, but it's such a shift from the livejournal era that I take note. And I'm not sure I feel all that negatively about receiving critical comments on fic. As I'm writing it for the first time in a decade, I get to test that out -- and I don't actually have a lot of opportunity to do that, because indeed, people tend not to leave negative comments. But ONE TIME, on ONE story, ONE person left perhaps the longest and most detailed comment I have ever received, all about how much she absolutely HATED the story I was telling. And I did, honestly, love that comment. Same principle as before -- I couldn't be mad when they were so passionate about it. It was flattering.

But today I was reminded of the type of comment I really don't enjoy. It is not that it's negative -- though it is. It's that it's withering. It's the type of comment designed to make you feel like this person thinks you're a vending machine that they put a dollar into and then got the wrong product. It's the "I hope you don't think that this thing you put into your fic is actually, you know, The CORRECT way to look at this."

I've only gotten a couple of these because in general I think fandom is nicer these days and certainly the corner of the Gallavich fandom that I occupy is filled with really smart, thoughtful, funny and interesting people who tend to SAY smart, thoughtful, funny and interesting things. And this is something of a void scream, because I don't think people who leave comments like that would ever bother to read this.

But. Like. Just in case.

Fic writers put thoughts and opinions into characters' mouths that are not their personal take all the time. Because they have reason to believe these pre-existing characters think that thing. You can disagree with it. But it's probably bad practice to assume anything about the fic writer because of it.

If you ARE going to leave a comment like that try to say at least one other thing about the story so that your comment isn't entirely just you being unaware of the concept of an unreliable narrator.

If you are STILL going to leave your eye-roll in comment form on someone's story and not even bother to hit the kudos button on the way out, then I will probably respond to you like you're an asshole. I just have no other context to draw from.

If you are still determined to do all these things, could you try not to do it in the middle for the night so that I don't wake up to this stuff in my inbox?

Anyway. I know I'm blessed to even get snarky comments on a two-year-old fanfic, but, you know. I have feelings to share. Happy August.

#no one asked #fanfic writing #my fic

[neonscandal]

Just see this in twitter by someone : "I'm starting to think maybe people should read actual BL manga. perhaps considering manga written with actual gay characters in it in addition to shipping m x m from whatever battle shounen you're into."

Like because of those subtext, there can be fanfics and fanarts, right? And then I decided to come here, your blog is really one of my comfort place....

Comfort place!? This makes me want to carve out time to post infinitely more. 🥹 Even though it feels a bit aimless, I’m glad I could cultivate that for you and hope I can continue to do so.

RE: twitter, without context, it's hard to tell whether this person is earnestly recommending people to expand their interests into BL or if they're dumping on people who tend to support and identify queer shipping across other genres.

On the one hand, heavy agree that if you appreciate queer pairings of any kind to absolutely find media and stories that shows healthy (and authentic, if possible!) representation of whatever you're into. I feel like sometimes in BL, specifically, there’s a lot of toxicity or violence passed off as romance which is why I recommend being discerning. Here are some green flag recommendations and I kind of touch on the importance of identity through engaging with queer content by way of BL's featuring fudanshi's there. Isn't always the case, but it's a storyline I appreciate.

If the poster was side eyeing queer ships in "mainstream" or shonen stories... they should grow up. I've been in and out of fandom for like.. 20 years. There have always been people who recognize and popularize queer ships. Back in the day? Characters didn't even have to share the same show, universe or genre to end up in a crossover slash fic on Fanfiction.Net.

Don't get me wrong, I've definitely needlessly explored several crack theories or made off-base assumptions about a story for the sake of trying to guess at where it’s going. But I sometimes question people's competency for reading/watching comprehension when a particularly shitty hottake is making its rounds on social media. Like are we not watching the same thing?

Subtext does exist. I don't know that all authors are as elegant or intentional in its execution but if you're not bothering to consider the possibility, you're potentially missing out on critical pieces of a story you're choosing to invest hours/years of your life into! This isn't simply as it pertains to shipping but also picking up on critical exposition (Attack. On. Titan.) or even questioning whether the information we're getting as the reader or viewer is conveyed with any sort of narrator bias. Yes, this is absolutely a My Hero Academia call out. ✨

Queer coding does exist. Tons of reasons why queer characters aren't always explicitly identified as such. More often than not, there's some form of censorship. Whether at the editing level during manga production or when it comes time for manga/shows to be approved for international distribution (re: information that's lost in translation vs outright decisions to alter the flow of the story). Most glaring example of this that comes to mind is Haruka Tenou or "Sailor Uranus"/Michiru Kaiou or "Sailor Neptune. In addition to gratuitous name changes when Sailor Moon was pushed abroad, several countries would rather portray the two as unusually close relatives despite the clear romantic undertones exhibited whenever they were on screen together. Also, IDK why, but pretty sure I'd seen somewhere that, initially the creator of Naruto did want to canonize Sasuke/Naruto but, truth be told, I've never watched the series and that could have been a fanon theory I'd seen.

Overarching messages exist. Similar to the first point, a story is seldom just a story. More often than not, you're looking at some sort of social critique or opinion that's being expressed or explored through the story. To not bother thinking critically about what you choose to spend time in enjoying is a pretty bland way to miss the point of it.

When all else fails, it's not our fault that the only relationships most shonen mangaka focus on developing is the one between "rivals". That's it. If there were more dynamic characters or literally any consideration toward the depth of intimacy between the main character and whatever tritagonist female lead the male lead inexplicably ends up with (aside from the simple rationale that "she is the girl 🎀"), then maybe fans won't have to hone in on how the only agency, equality and intimacy is between the only two characters of substance. That was a mouthful but so are the overly poetic soliloquies shonen rivals inevitably share about one another.. ✨

I'm guessing this question might be related to the last anon ask about fanfics? I agree regarding the fact that subtext allows for a richer selection of fan art and fics. I think, depending on content, the motivation for reading fics will subsequently differ. For instance, I'm less likely to read fanfics for a romance series even if I sometimes write for them because the source material generally satisfies what I wanted from them. But fix it fics, angst and romance fics for shonen/seinen series'?? I'll definitely pick them up because, 1) there are usually unexplored relationship dynamics in the source material, 2) there are alternative domestic/fluff storylines you'd never see because the genre doesn't allow for it, 3) the canon plot is usually so devastating *cough, JJK, cough* that I need a respite, and/or, 4) the developing plot tends to have a lot of holes that writers can explore to craft uniquely compelling AU's and alternative plotlines that I wouldn't imagine.

Man, it's been a while since I nerded out and really took the time to bang out a rant. I've had so many thoughts bouncing around but just zero time. Thank you for your ask and the reminder that there's someone else out there in the shipping trenches. Stay safe out there, anon!

#neon asks #anon asks #ship sails itself #meta #fandom #shipping dynamics #anime #manga #AOT #snk #mha #bnha #sailor moon #jjk

[teaveetamer]

Okay, so let's address this since it's so obviously meant for us. And for the record, I'm not blocked by OP. I went to check their blog to see if they had anything else interesting to say about the conversation started yesterday. I'm taking a screencap because the post this is attached to has little to do with the issue at hand, and frankly my beef isn't with OP.

Personally, I wouldn't have screencapped the post. I believe that if someone blocks you then you should respect that and not interact with their posts. That's why I personally, when talking about the situation, did not reblog or spread the post with the screencaps further. Since I know Gascon will probably read this I'll make my feelings clear: I think it was a bad call to screencap someone who blocked you.

However, I'm not surprised that you, my not so anonymous dude, decided to present this entirely devoid of any context to make it seem to your friends and followers like there's somehow a moral equivalence between what you do and what was done in this situation. I know you struggle with nuance and context, so I'll spell it out very clearly.

Gascon was directly invited to contribute to a conversation. The user who invited him had no idea that Gascon was blocked by the OP of that post, because Gascon didn't even know he was blocked by the OP of that post. The invitation was a good faith attempt to engage and provide the OP with analysis from a user they believe has expertise in the subject at hand. Gascon screencapped the original conversation that he was invited into and probably would have never seen otherwise, in full with complete context, and gave his response (as well as notifying people that the user in question had him blocked).

Now, I'm not Gascon, but I can say with almost 100% certainty that he does not care to interact with this person beyond this encounter, and he was never going to be invested enough to actually seek this person out beyond what he'd been tagged to respond to. And I know this because Gascon has repeatedly said over the course of the last year that he's bored of 3H and has no interest in discussing it further unless specifically prompted by a third party.

You, on the other hand, have been relentlessly stalking and screencapping and harassing people for months now. You have no qualms about sending hate anyone's way, in fact you even pass blog names on to your buddies on Discord and Reddit and then brag when harassment happens. You find people on other social media sites to continue harassing them even after they've blocked you on one platform. Your blog has literally hundreds of screencaps from Nilsh and FantasyInvader and probably others that you use to whip your followers up into a frenzy. You are literally so obsessed with some users that you stalk their blog and then leave rude comments on the fics they recommend. You learn that you are blocked and you take it as a personal insult, and you do not stop harassing them until they have gotten so sick of you that they leave the platform entirely. And even then you don't stop. You still can't take Nilsh's name out of your mouth even though he's been gone for like six months. If you were a fictional character, I'd be Enemies to Lovers shipping you two by now with how obsessed with him you are. I mean really, full nine yards, 500k slowburn.

An analogy: you're basically saying a guy getting rejected by the same girl twice is the same level of harassment as a guy getting rejected by the same girl two hundred times. Like yeah, Guy #1 probably should have been better about hearing her "no" the first time and it was definitely an error in judgement to ask again. If she's upset by the interaction, I'd call him out. But good fucking lord it is not even remotely as severe as refusing to take no for an answer two hundred times. The only reason you would ever present them as equivalent is, frankly, if you are Mr. Two-Hundred and you're trying to make yourself look less creepy. You are Mr. Two-Hundred, my dude.

Also nice of you to continue insinuating that the women who call you out for your blatant harassment are all histrionic just because we don't like... *checks notes*... being stalked and harassed by some random 35 year old man on the internet over our opinions about a video game character. For your information, I'm neither screaming, crying, nor throwing up. I'm just holding you responsible for your behavior. Sorry if that upsets you, but there's a pretty simple solution to getting me to go away that you haven't tried yet. It's called leaving us the fuck alone like we've been asking you to for months. I would blissfully never talk about you ever again if you just stopped harassing people.

Not tagging you in this post because again, I don't encourage harassment. I doubt I need to tag you anyway, considering you've been stalking my blog ever since I called you out for that other little harassment situation you incited, so you'll definitely see it.

#Edelstans be wildin

[skepsiss]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by @strangersteddierthings, I've never even thought about half of these questions, so.... we're gunna go on a journey together. I MISSED SEVERAL QUESTIONS LMAO. LEMME UPDATE.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

18 (I only post like 1/3 of my fics on AO3)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

66,922. I pay such little attention to this kinda stuff xD

3. What fandoms do you write for?

A lot... and a lot more than what is listed on my AO3. If we're friends I'll literally just message you a 2k+ fic in a DM for funsies.

Stranger Things (TV 2016) (8)

Overwatch (Video Game) (5)

Teen Wolf (TV) (1)

Castlevania (Cartoon 2017-2021) (1)

Critical Role (Web Series) (1)

Promare (2019) (1)

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018) (1)

DC Comics / Batman (Tim Drake / Kon-El)

Orphan Black

Marvel (Steve/Tony)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Basket Ball Shorts

Roadrat: The Fire that Covered the World

The Comfort of Warmth (Lio/Galo)

Fifty-fifty (Roadhog / Junkrat)

Perspective (Caleb / Essek)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes. As soon as I see them I will reply with a thank you or to engage with someone's question/musings/etc.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably a Roadrat one. It's been a while since I've read my work, but The Things They Lost is a Roadrat fic where I explored a bunch of like... when Junkrat lost his arm and stuff like that. Brutal, tbh. Next closest is my Alucard (OT3) Castlevania fic where he is BIG SAD about Trevor and Sypha not being there. Nights Spent Alone.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

UUuhhhuhuhuh..... I mostly write sad shit LOL. Milkshakes has a happy ending. It's a 2 part modern-day Steddie fic about the boys asking each other out on a date over Instagram.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've never seen any hate on my fics before.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Uhh, yeah. I do. PWP or With Plot. I like full stories that have smut that BELONGS there, but then we've got just straight-up PWP. That is what Basketball short is tbh.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No, never written a crossover. I've written lots of AUs though.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No. Dunno how I'd figure that out.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope. Dunno what that would look like tbh.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Steddie; for right now. My other top 3 are Harley/Ivy, Tim/Kon-El, and Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

NO IDEA. Lol, all my unfinished WIPs are either ones I have no interest in finishing (Roadrat), or ones I can complete faith in being able to finish (Steddie)

16. What are your writing strengths?

Speed. I can compose a story very quickly and put it together.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I never promote myself/share. I'm really bad at sharing my works. Additionally, I'm bad at finishing things before I lose interest.... eep.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Uuhh maybe. I def have some Ancient Greek and Latin in my up-coming Robin (Stobin platonic) fic.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I'm not sure... maybe Batman (Tim/Jason or Tim/Kon). I RP'd A LOT from ages 13-18 and had like 5-8 rps going at once for a whole bunch of fandoms. (Naruto, OCs in the Star Wars universe, Tim/Kon, and more I can't remember atm).

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Ooohhh, I dunno. I'm bad at picking favourites. Right now I'm pretty proud of my Because I Want You Steddie fic. It's Steve and Eddie as 30-year-olds with kids. They broke up in their 20s and are trying to get back together in their 30s. Eddie has a complete breakdown in it, but Steve is there to tell him that he loves him.

I don't think about this stuff at all xDDD Fic writing is just a pass time for me. This will be the first time EVER in over 18 years of writing fic that I've EVER participated in an exchange/Big Bang. I'll tag @medusapelagia @oh-stars @br0ck-eddie @kallisto-k

#lore for me

[celaenaeiln]

Ok this is random, and all but I have made it my sworn duty to submit at least 3 questions a week, and it's like a minute before the end of this week. Have you ever been in a harry Potter phase, because I saw you use it as a reference for one post about happy robin, and also because I'm stumped on what to ask you and I DO NOT want to break my record

I HAD A HUGE HARRY POTTER PHASE!!

Harry Potter was my first book series ever actually and I just completely fell in love with it. Batfam came much later but the longest ongoing fandom I've ever been in is the Harry Potter now. I haven't been in it for about a year now but wow it was my first fandom ever. I used to read dramione fics on wattpad lol my first fanfiction introduction.

I was a massive hermione stan so I read a bunch of fics about her. My favorite pairing used to dramione but as I grew older I started falling into tomione (^◇^；) but really I was casual hermione x everyone shipper.

I even did the pottermore thing too online where you can quiz yourself to see what house, wand, and patronus you get and I got slytherin which didn't come as a surprise at all. At the time I thought it was so cool to be part of the evil house lol. I was such an embarrassing kid looking back.

Actually I originally created my tumblr account to see dramione stuff lol before I started getting into other fandoms and it became my fall back fandom when I was bored with the other ones or did want to engage with them.

I didn't really have a second favorite character after Hermione, I don't think Dumbledore deserves to be hated for being manipulative, and wtf is going on with the cursed child.

Writing this is giving me so many flashbacks it makes me want to start reading the fics again! It's also 1 of only 6 fandoms I've ever created a separate list of fics for because I really loved the source thing.

My favorite class was Charms because I thought it would be the most useful too. Don't want to make your bed? Magic! Don't want to clean the kitchen? Magic! Want to redecorate? Magic!!! Charms is so versatile that you can use it for anything. If voldemort was smarter he would've magicked his face to look normal using Charms, approached harry, and killed him. Voila! Problem solved! But I guess he lost his brains along with his beauty sadly but not unfortunately.

I heard there's a new Marauders movie coming out?? I wasn't going to watch it but then I saw people shipping James Potter and Regulus Black together because of it and now I want to see it only out of sheer bewilderment of what could've possibly led to that. Or so I tell myself.

The Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them!! I LOVED the movie series!!! The first two were really good and third was okay but all that doesn't matter because the graphics. Unpopular opinion but I really loved the original Percy Jackson movies even though they were nothing like the books because the graphics were so cool. Action movies are my favorite so seeing columns of water rise up and seeing how real it looked, it was like a fantasy turned reality! The Harry Potter and Fantastic Beasts movie series, I fell in love watching them because of the magic.

Which is hilarious now because I used to be scared of watching the Harry Potter movies! When my parents watched the first movie and I was really little I would hide because I was really scared of Voldemort and felt really sad about Harry losing his parents and the thought of it made me cry 😅🙈

But yeah Harry Potter is like number 2 biggest fandom for me right after the Batfam although it used to be number one. I have a fleeting interest span. So if I'm addicted to a show but I don't watch it for a few days, I lose all interest in it completely and forever (sorry Vampire Diaries) or a game (goodbye sky: children of the light) but these two fandoms, I can not be in them for several months or even years but I never lose interest. Just my love for them ig!

#harry potter #cl anon asks #thanks for the ask!

[hoagmaster]

Another Month, Another Sunset

Well I did say I would return to the subject of shows I’ve watched ending since Mario Kart 8 dropped back in 2014, so this is the continuation of that dropped point.

I have watched television animation for as long as I have conscious memories. I grew up with it. I define the stretches of my life based on the big show I watched during each of them: Rugrats, Hey Arnold, SpongeBob SquarePants, The Fairly OddParents, Danny Phantom, The Mighty B!, Gravity Falls, Steven Universe. I was mostly a Nickelodeon kid as you can see, because that was largely the only channel we had around here when I was growing up.

I’ve dabbled in many other shows that aired at the same time as these, but there was always the one I focused on. But each of these shows either ended, whether by its own accord or not, or frankly went to pot and I jumped ship. It was the time when things were stewing in the latter show in 2018 when I decided maybe I’d have my fun elsewhere.

There were several months when I didn’t latch onto any show out of lack of interest, I might say. I watched some but I wouldn’t say I engaged with them. 

That all changed in October 2018, when, at the suggestion of someone I used to know along with a forum I frequented, I checked out Hilda on Netflix. I’d never read the comic it was based on, nor did I have much experience with a show designed for streaming.

But despite all that, I loved it. It felt like a rejuvenation into a medium I’d followed since youth. It opened my eyes to the potential of a series made for an online service.

Perhaps as a way to fill in a void left by season one ending, I decided to see what else I’d missed in my admittedly narrow-minded viewing. This led to my current favorite (remaining) show, Big City Greens.

My slate grew to those two. And then there was She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, Carmen Sandiego, Amphibia, Victor and Valentino, Infinity Train, It’s Pony, The Owl House, Glitch Techs, Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts, The Midnight Gospel, Kid Cosmic, Centaurworld, City of Ghosts, Invincible, The Ghost and Molly McGee, Inside Job, Arcane, Tear Along the Dotted Line, Maya and the Three, Dead End: Paranormal Park, Hamster and Gretel, Bee and Puppycat, Pantheon, Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur, Kiff, Hailey’s On It!, and a couple others I’ve checked out some clips of.

Granted, I like some of these shows more than others. I wouldn’t call any of these perfect because with enough time I can find things in each of them that irk me. But I certainly feel I have a stronger awareness of shows that have aired in the past five years than I have for the rest of my life. Gaining a lot more online awareness probably also helps in that regard. I feel like I’m learning more about myself as an artistic person and writer by thinking about these and wanting to write about them.

With the end of Hilda, I feel it also marks the end of an era. Nearly every show I mentioned above has ended, whether by its own terms or not. Some have questionable conclusions, some were cut short, and a handful are ongoing or even just begun. But 2024 will mark the first year in some time where the big show that got me to get further into animation watching will not be on the horizon.

Now, I don’t think Hilda is going away forever. We’ve likely all seen Luke Pearson is already writing a prequel comic. There are more supplemental and side books being released faster than I can keep track of. Most of the shows I mentioned that have ended are still with us in a bevy of ways. With some networks looking for the next big hit they feel content to keep on reminding people about the stuff they already love to keep them engaged. For instance, for all their corporate shenanigans, Disney is doing a good job at keeping people aware of Amphibia.

I think the process of shows going away has been made easier by maintaining a broader range of shows to watch. Even with Hilda finished, I have the remaining episodes of Big City Greens along with the shows that just premiered and have more episodes on the way. Then there are all the upcoming shows that could grab my attention in the ways many of the previously mentioned have.

It does feel bittersweet, knowing we’ve all watched this show and came together for it and may be left wondering where we go now. I regret not engaging with you all more in the past, but who’s to say that can’t change now? At the end of the day, a show like this and many others extend far beyond what’s on the screen.

We’re all here to celebrate a show that we enjoy and that inspires us to create, to tell stories, to meet new people, to reflect on who we are and where we can take ourselves. Looking back, I have mixed feelings on the last season of Danny Phantom, but it was the first show where I talked with folks online about it and looked at fanart and read stories, and it is in this way that I met some of my oldest friends. Some of the most genuine, wonderful people I’ve known for over 15 years. That’s the beauty of an artistic creation like this or any other show.

Looking at the upcoming slate of shows and seeing just a bunch of stuff I don’t recognize does add to the hesitation. It’s easy to think that nothing new could live up and this empty feeling will persist. The strongest sense of “emptiness” I felt recently was when Amphibia ended, but this one is also up there because of what its end brings with it. But looking ahead, who’s to say we won’t all find a show that will enrapture our senses and inspire us the way our past favorites did?

I certainly didn’t think I could move on from Danny Phantom or Gravity Falls or Amphibia at those moments. But with some time, I’ve been able to keep moving forward and find new things that inspired me in all new ways. It may take time, but I think many of us will do the same here.

I’m sure I’ll keep reading the stories, and seeing the fanart, and thinking of my own ideas of stuff to share. To paraphrase Star Trek II, it’s not really gone so long as we remember it.

Here’s to the future, y’all. Cheers.

#hilda netflix #hilda the series #cody writes stuff

[amazing-spiderling]

B C E G W

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

I'm only writing this here because the memory is a fond one and it made me laugh really hard at the time (even though for reasons that must be named I don't engage with this media anymore) but in ye olde days I read some books about a boy wizard and his far more interesting professors. I would kind of read... whatever for fanfic and wasn't concerned with otps or specific ships for said professors but one day on LJ I came across a comic (I cannot for the life of me remember the name of the artist) that was "canon vs fanon" versions of the tall broody ex-bad boy professor and it was the funniest shit I had ever seen. It was also professor/no-longer-a-boy wizard and there was just something about the exchange that made me wonder if there was other good fan content for that ship. (There was.) Eventually I drew my own INCREDIBLY stupid comic that was half wizards half fight club parody bc that's how I roll. ANYWAYS let's move on to less problematic topics...

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

Wolverine/Nightcrawler which is WEIRD because it has a lot of the hallmarks of ships I DO like? (Battle damaged fight guy and softer best friend type??? That's my brand!) I don't know what it is, whether it's just that I have "known" these characters so long that it feels like reading fic about my brothers or something else. I do have to say in all the years of comic history, I don't think the comics have *ever* given Kurt a significant other who was a good fit. I thought Meggan was close when I was younger but now I realize that's not really a two way street. (Although this is based on classic Excalibur.) IDK What it is, I think they've just spent too long characterizing Kurt as this... Casanova/Zealot and it's like... either he's dating around or he's so dedicated to a cause it doesn't make sense for him to settle down (I'm a fan of stories where he ends up a priest or some such). Anyways, I'm very happy for Logurt fans and I wish I could get into it because there is some quality work out there!

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

A long time ago I started a series of pictures I drew with my left hand retelling the events of Metal Gear Solid 1, except it was from the perspective of all the dogs that lived on the Alaskan base. Characters were called things like "Crysad Man" and "Angry Yeller" which isn't that different than typical Kojima naming conventions.

G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it?

I certainly have had my OTPs and I'm kind of slow to move on. I can milk a ship for years and years (and I don't think I ever really leave...) I tend to have just one ship for a fandom (versus having a fave character who makes a good fandom bicycle). I remember being kind of flexible in early days (Sailor Moon was great with Tuxedo Kamen but Seiya was also a charmer and so much fun...) I think my first proper OTP was Snake/Otacon from Metal Gear Solid. I was always impressed by my friends who had several favorite pairs with interchangeable members, meanwhile I was like "I like this one" just making my paper doll smooch and deal with trauma.

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

So, I'm not really a fan of hurt no comfort, buttttttt I feel like it can create some compelling pieces (especially if it's in a fanfic that predates the canon events where you know everything shakes out mostly okay). I need the catharsis and I tend to be a "just before bed" reader, so I want to doze off with something that makes my heart happy. To that end, I'm not really here for "Dark!" character AUs, especially if it involves the now evil character hurting the other member of what would normally be my OTP. I don't really get anything out of "Character A kidnaps character B and tortures them for lolz" kinds of story, so this trope is a miss for me.

#thank you for the ask! #this was a nice trip down memory lane

[queenshelby]

Gypsy Bride (One Shot)

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Virgin!Reader

Warnings: Angst, Violence, Mention of Self Harm, Arranged Marriage, SMUT, Loss of Virginity

Total Words: 8,083 (both parts below)

Parts:

·      Part One – Husband and Wife

·      Part Two – Consummating Finally

Notes: I will be writing another One Shot which will be called ‘Goodbye Marie’. This One Shot will follow on from this story but can also be read on its own.

Part One

It was 9am on a cold Saturday morning. You had been awake for several hours already and barely managed to get any sleep at all the night before.

It was your wedding day and you were nervous to say the least. This was a wedding you didn’t want, a marriage doomed from the beginning.

Your father had recently taken over the business of importing heroine into the United Kingdom from his brother who, due to unfortunate circumstances arranged by your father, was shot during police interference.

In your culture, it was customary to only form alliances with people you trust, mainly family. But, since you and your mother were both only children as a result of a curse impaled on your family decades ago, your family was much smaller than other gypsy families.

In cases like this, alliances were formed by expanding family through marriage.

You had no say in the matter and your father was determined to expand his business through such alliance.

So, today, you were to marry Thomas Shelby, the leader of the Peaky Blinders.

You knew that Thomas Shelby was shipping heroine to the United States and had recently lost his supply from the Chinese. The deal your father was offering Thomas was lucrative and allowed the Shelby Family to reinstate most of their fortune which they had lost in the stock market crash earlier this year.

Your father, however, did not trust Thomas Shelby and insisted on a traditional bond between the families.

Thomas Shelby agreed and, since he was the only unmarried Shelby man of age, it was him, a man almost twice your age, who was going to be your husband.

You never met Thomas Shelby and you wondered what he was like.

You heard terrible things about him and you knew that he was both, a politician and a gangster. You knew that he was involved in drug trafficking, running brothels and killings. He was no better than your father who you despised.

You always wanted to turn a leaf on your life, get away from the illegal dealings and make an honest living. But, this dream of yours was now shattered. You were about to marry into the most notorious gangster family in the Small Heath and Birmingham area.

In the weeks leading up to your wedding, you considered ending it. This was the only way out. But then you met a man who was a priest. Every day you remembered his words. There was a purpose for you, you just may have not discovered it yet.

You never believed, but turned to God for advice after your encounter with the priest. You even began to volunteer at the local church community hall to help you keep your mind occupied.

After weeks of volunteering, you requested to be married to Thomas at the church. The priest was reluctant but agreed after you begged for long enough. Your request was granted.

And there you were, in the back rooms of the small church in Birmingham, preparing for your wedding.

As you stepped into your white wedding gown, tears were building up in your eyes. You were not ready for this, but you had to be strong.

You wiped your tears away with the white cotton tissue your mother had given you and pinned up your hair.

A maid was assigned to assist you, but you enjoyed to do your own hair and makeup.

Shortly after you sent your maid away and while you were applying your mascara, you heard a knock on the door.

You hoped that it was your mother, wishing to provide you with emotional support, but, to your surprise, it was a woman who you had never met.

She had dark brown hair and dark eyes. She was attractive and well dressed.

‘I am Polly Gray’ the woman said as she walked into your room.

‘I am Y/N’ you said nervously.

‘I figured’ she said with a laugh as she handed you her flask of whiskey.

‘Drink up Love, I think you need it, you are about to marry my nephew’ Polly said sheepishly as she stepped behind you and tied up your dress.

‘Thank you’ you said before taking a large sip from the flask.

‘You didn’t want your maid to help you with this?’ Polly asked surprised as she wiped away some of the smudged make up beneath your eyes which were still wet and teary.

‘No. I don’t like to appear weak in front of strangers’ you explained.

‘Showing weakness can sometimes be your strength Y/N’ Polly said before she asked you how old you were while she proceeded to help you with your make up.

‘I am 20’ you responded, your hands shaking.

’20?’ Polly said as she stopped what she was doing and sat down across from you.

‘Did you think I was older?’ you asked.

‘Your parents are older than me, so yes, Thomas and I did not expect you to be so young’ Polly said before she lid herself a cigarette.

‘Do you think that Thomas will be disappointed?’ you asked.

‘No Love. Let me tell you something about Thomas’ Polly said before taking a pause.

‘He has not shown any genuine interest in a woman since his late wife passed away. Whilst I disliked her, she was the only woman he ever loved. He didn’t choose you and he will probably not love you, but he will provide for you and ensure your safety. He expects loyalty in return, nothing else. So long as you are loyal, you do not need to worry about disappointing him nor do you need to be afraid of him’ Polly explained, causing you to feel some relief.

Despite the fact that you had never met this woman, she was able to provide you with the reassurance you needed.

‘Now, let’s hurry’ Polly said, standing up and finishing your make up.

‘Thank you, Ms Gray’ you said as she took your hand and smiled at you.

‘Please, call me Polly. After all, you will be family soon’ she said just before she disappeared to the hall.

Not long after Polly had left and you finished getting ready, your father arrived.

‘It’s time Y/N’ he said impatiently, not even bothering to compliment you.

You hooked into your father’s arm as he walked you towards the hall.

The Church was packed. You had many guests, mostly gypsies from different families.

Your heart sank into your stomach as you observed your future husband waiting for you at the altar.

He was wearing an elegant navy-blue suit which matched his deep blue eyes.

His hair looked immaculate and he had his hands crossed in front of him.

He was very attractive and you could barely believe that he was in his late thirties already.

Despite this, shivers ran down your back as you approached the altar. He showed no emotion at all. There was no smile on his face. In fact, there was no expression at all, just coldness.

As you took your place across from him, you observed him gazing over you for a moment, almost like he was assessing you. But his expressions didn’t change. There was no warmth.

You weren’t sure whether he liked what he saw or whether he was disappointed, possibly by the fact that you were much younger than he had expected or perhaps he preferred a different hair colour or larger breasts.

There was an awkward silence between you as you both starred at each other until, finally, the priest began to speak.

‘We are gathered here in the presence of God, family, and friends to unite Thomas Shelby and Y/N Y/LN in holy matrimony’ the priest went on to say before speaking a prayer, as per your request.

Then, it was time for the all-important question.

‘Do you Y/N Y/LN take Thomas Shelby to be your lawfully wedded husband?’ the priest asked.

‘I do’ you said nervously, starring at Tommy.

‘’And do you Thomas Shelby take Y/N Y/LN to be your lawfully wedded wife?’ the priest asked.

‘I do’ Tommy said, his hands still interlinked with each other.

‘Then, by the power vested in me by God, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride’ the priest said, but Tommy made no attempt to kiss you.

‘We might save that one for later, ey?’ Tommy said as he saw the nervousness in your face. You responded with nothing but a simple nod as you reached for his hand.

‘Are we done here?’ Tommy asked before he obliged and took your hand into his as you both stepped down from the altar and walked towards the exit of the Church.

Your families and guests were cheering as the Church bells began to ring.

You couldn’t help it but feel apprehensive and thought that, if the reception was going to be as awkward as the ceremony, this would be a long night.

Outside the church, you and your families posed for a picture before Tommy took you to his car.

There were no white horses and carriages as you had imagined on your wedding day. There was nothing romantic about this at all.

There was an awkward silence as you stepped inside his Silver Bentley. He started the car without saying a word.

You didn’t know what to say yourself and couldn’t even bare to look at him.

Just before you arrived at the reception venue, he looked over to you.

‘I am sorry you’ve been made to do this’ Tommy said, just as he stopped the car.

‘So am I’ you said as you pushed open the car door and walked inside. The weather was dreadful and you didn’t wait for Tommy.

The reception was barely a reception at all. There was nothing but business talk and your husband ignored you for the entire evening.

By that time, you were certain that he disliked you. He didn’t want this marriage any more than you did.

After several hours of easing your pain with champaign while you engaged into meaningless conversations with Arthur Shelby’s wife Linda, Tommy told you that it was time to go home.

You couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like, your new home.

You were hoping for it to be big enough so that you didn’t have to see your husband very often and endure this awkwardness and silence between you.

The drive home was as silent as the drive to the reception venue. Tommy didn’t speak a word to you, again.

At least this gave you time to think about the task ahead.

Your mother had spoken to you about marriage and what it entails.

She had also spoken with you about consummation of your marriage, which was something you were nervous, almost fearful, about.

Whilst, in your opinion, Tommy was very attractive, you have never been with a man before and you wanted your first time to be with someone you loved not someone you just met.

You told your mother exactly that, but she explained to you how important it is to fulfill your wifely duties and keep your husband happy from the beginning and always thereafter.

The truth was that you were afraid of the pain it will entail. You knew it was going to be painful and it wasn’t as if you didn’t already have to endure enough pain on your wedding day. Your mother explained to you that you would get used to it, the pain will fade and, eventually, it becomes nothing more than a chore.

As you finally stepped out of the car and inside Tommy’s house, you were emotionally prepared for what was to come and were probably drunk enough too.

The house was larger than any other house you had ever seen. You couldn’t believe that Tommy was living in the house by himself.

Tommy took the time to personally show you the house and introduce you to the maids. That was probably the most he had spoken to you all day.

It felt somewhat surreal. This is where you were going live now, with your husband, a total stranger.

Tommy told you that you could use every room in the house as you pleased but that you were not allowed in his office or his bedroom.

‘Your bedroom? Will we not be sharing a bedroom?’ you asked, causing Tommy to chuckle.

‘No Y/N, we will not be sharing a bedroom’ Tommy said before showing you your bedroom. You were relieved to say the least.

‘You can redecorate it if you like’ Tommy said as he opened the door.

Your bedroom was large, with a study desk and your own bathroom attached to it.

It was well decorated and felt warm and welcoming.

‘Thank you’ you said turning around, causing Tommy to nod.

‘I have some work to do now. If you need anything, please call for one of the maids’ Tommy said as he excused himself.

‘Goodnight Thomas’ you said, receiving no response.

After Tommy left, you changed into your nightgown and lied down on your bed. But, there was no way that you could fall asleep just yet. You still felt uncomfortable and out of place.

After about thirty minutes, you decided to get up and make yourself a cup of tea. You weren’t used to be served by maids and enjoyed doing things for yourself.

As you wandered through the house towards the kitchen, you heard noises coming from one of the hallways.

Intrigued, you followed the hallway and observed that there was light shining from the reading room which was also where the noises came from.

You carefully approached the room, glancing in from the distance.

This when you saw Tommy, still wearing his suit while being intimate with the young blonde maid Marie to whom you were introduced earlier that evening.

Keeping quiet, you couldn’t help but stare at them.

Marie was being bent over the big oak study desk while Tommy was behind her, thrusting into her harshly and almost emotionless.

He held onto her hips tightly while she was moaning, digging her nails into the solid oak.

After five minutes of observation, you had enough and quietly walked to the kitchen where you boiled the kettle and made yourself a tea.

‘Mrs Shelby, I could have done this for you’ Francis said, startling you as you poured the hot water into the teapot.

‘That’s quite alright Francis. In fact, I enjoy being in the kitchen. Perhaps, if Thomas allows it, I could cook dinner one night?’ you said, waiting for some kind of approval.

‘That would be lovely Mrs Shelby’ Francis said before you excused yourself.

As you returned to your room you couldn’t help but think about Tommy and Marie. By no means did you blame him. But you also couldn’t help it but wonder why he didn’t take any desire in you. Did he rather want to sleep with his maid than his wife?

Was it that he disliked you or was it that he was trying to be kind, not making any advances towards you because you were forced into this marriage.

The next morning you woke at 7am after spending most of the night pondering about your future as Thomas Shelby’s wife.

After you got dressed, you walked downstairs and joined your husband for breakfast.

‘Good Morning’ you said as you sat down.

‘Good Morning Y/N’ Tommy said, glancing up from his newspaper for a moment to make eye contact with you.

‘Have you slept alright?’ he then asked.

‘Yes, thank you. The bed is very comfortable’ you said shyly.

‘That’s good’ Tommy said before continuing to read the paper.

This was all you spoke as you quietly ate your breakfast.

The next few weeks were just as quiet.

Tommy ignored you for the most part and continued to engage in sexual encounters with Marie. The worst of it was that he didn’t even bother to hide it from you.

Sometimes they would do it in the reading room, sometimes in one of the guest rooms and occasionally even in the stables.

You couldn’t help it but ask Francis about her and Francis told you that she had only been employed by Tommy for the past eight weeks. She was French and her breakfast was terrible. Clearly, she had other talents which kept your husband happy.

Just as you were in the reading room yourself, looking for a particular book, Tommy approached you.

‘Do you play chess?’ he asked.

‘Do I play chess?’ you asked surprised, closing your book. He didn’t talk to you for weeks and this was the question he wanted asked you? You were in disbelieve.

‘Yes, do you play?’ Tommy asked again as he poured himself a glass of Whiskey.

‘Yes, I do, would you like a game?’ you asked.

‘Yes, I’ve been learning. It’s somewhat boring but also extremely satisfying’ Tommy said, making you laugh.

‘It’s strategic, that’s probably why you enjoy it’ you said while you brushed your hair out of your face.

‘Please’ Tommy said as he turned around the chessboard on the coffee table, indicating for you to make your first move and begin the game.

You made your move and noticed that Tommy’s eyes wandered over to you rather than the chessboard, causing you to blush.

You played for about twenty minutes and began to make conversation, which is when you realised that Tommy had been observing you and taken an interest in what you might like.

‘I am thinking about getting another race horse’ Tommy said. ‘Perhaps you could help me choose one’ he added.

‘Me? Choose a horse?’ you asked surprised.

‘Yes. I noticed that you have taken an interest in the horses and I would like you to accompany me to the upcoming auction’ Tommy said. ‘It would be in my best interest to attend this event with my wife’ he added to justify his request.

‘I would love to attend with you’ you said with a smile.

‘There will be other members of parliament attending the auction and there will be a function afterwards. You will need to buy yourself a dress. Elegant, but simple’ Tommy said as he handed you some money.

‘Alright’ you said before moving your queen. Tommy clearly hasn’t been paying attention to the game.

‘Checkmate’ you grinned.

‘Well well, you just beat me at chess’ Tommy said as Francis walked in to the room with some tea for you.

‘Your wife is a smart woman Mr Shelby’ Francis said, giving you a wink.

‘I’ve noticed. Now would you excuse me, I have some more work to do’ Tommy said, smiling at you for the very first time.

The next day you drove into town to buy yourself a dress. By that time you had already done your research on the horses available for auction and the one you had your eye on was called ‘Emerald’.

It won two races quite recently and was slightly more expensive than the budget Tommy had given you.

With that in mind, you considered it to be fitting to purchase an emerald green dress, elegant but yet simple, just as Tommy had requested.

Over the next week, leading up to the auction, Tommy and you played chess almost every day. He hated losing and was determined to eventually beat you.

Even before the auction, he demanded a game and you made sure that you were ready for him.

A gasp escaped Tommy as you entered the reading room wearing your emerald green dress.

‘Is that alright for the auction?’ you asked shyly, wanting to ensure that Tommy approves of the dress.

‘Just missing one small detail Mrs Shelby’ he said as he handed you a box covered with black satin.

You opened the box and, inside, there was a diamond necklace with matching earrings.

‘Thomas’ you said, being stunned by the pieces of jewellery.

‘You will need to fit in Y/N. After all, you are my wife’ Tommy said as you turned around and he placed the neckless onto your neck.

After you looked at yourself in the mirror, you and Tommy played a quick game of chess before making your way to the car and drive to the auction.

At the auction, Tommy introduced you to everyone as his wife but, as usual, he kept his gestures to a minimum. He held your hand once, maybe twice, for show.

You were well spoken and engaged with the other politicians’ wives. The topics that were spoken about were of no real interest to you, but you played along for Tommy’s sake.

Later, at the function, you mingled with the same women while Tommy engaged in pollical discussions with members of parliament and judges.

You couldn’t wait for the night to be over, you were bored beyond belief.

Finally, Tommy told you that it was time for you to leave. He had further business to attend to at the Garrison and you requested that he take you along.

He reluctantly agreed and, as you arrived, the Garrison was packed with drunk men.

You were glad to see Polly and Ada again as you arrived and engaged into conversations with them before their business meeting with Tommy.

But just as Tommy turned his back on you and gave some instructions to Arthur, you were approached by another patron.

‘Good Day Love’ he said, not receiving any reaction from you.

‘Woman, I am talking to you’ he said harshly after you tried hard to ignore him.

‘Sir, please leave me alone’ you said patiently as, all of a sudden, he grabbed your wrist harshly.

‘Love, I can pay well you know. So, whatever offer you have for tonight, I will double it. It is rare to find a whore as pretty and clean as you’ the man said.

‘Get your hand of me. I am not a whore’ you said as, all of a sudden, you heard Tommy approach.

‘Ay, this is my wife you are talking to’ Tommy said harshly, pointing his gun at the man.

‘Mr Shelby’ the man said with a scared voice.

‘Now apologise to her and then fuck off before I blow your head off’ Tommy said angrily.

‘My apologies Mrs Shelby, I didn’t know’ the man said with embarrassment, his pants wet before he made a run for the door.

‘Did he just piss himself?’ Arthur said with laughter as he gave Tommy a nudge.

‘Fucking hell…this is no place for woman like you Mrs Shelby’ Arthur laughed but you weren’t in the mood for jokes. The man had grabbed your wrist harshly and you were somewhat scared by his determination.

‘Are you alright?’ Tommy asked, his hands running over your upper arms.

‘I am fine Tommy. I am sure it was just a misunderstanding’ you smiled.

‘I don’t care. No one speaks to my wife like this’ he said.

‘Now let’s get you a drink, ey? What would you like?’ Tommy asked.

‘Whiskey please’ you responded.

‘Irish or Scotch?’ Tommy asked.

‘Irish’ you responded.

‘Well, we have something in common then’ Tommy said with a smile as he asked you to join him for the business meeting.

‘Perhaps we are yet to discover a lot about each other’ you said, causing Tommy to chuckle.

‘Most people do this before they get married’ Tommy said as you followed him.

You stayed at the Garrison for another hour before you made your back to the house.

The drive was much more pleasant than before and, even though you may never be lovers, you had now found things to speak about with each other.

‘Will you have another glass of whiskey with me?’ you asked Tommy as you arrived at the house and he handed Francis both of your coats.

‘I suppose why not’ Tommy said as he walked you to the living room.

Tommy poured each of you a glass of whiskey before sitting down on the lounge next to you.

‘I enjoyed today, thank you’ you said.

‘And I enjoyed your company. You did well with all of these arrogant bastards’ Tommy smirked, causing you both to laugh.

‘You don’t like politicians much do you?’ you asked.

‘No, I fucking hate them’ Tommy smirked, causing you to laugh again. After all, he was one of them.

You talked about politics and horses for quite some time until you changed the topic.

‘Tommy?’ you said all of the blue, before pausing.

‘Yes?’ he asked curiously.

‘It is none of my business but, do you love her?’ you asked.

‘Love who?’ Tommy responded.

‘Marie. I know you have been sleeping with her’ you said.

‘No, I do not love her. I do however enjoy her company, although not so much for making conversation’ Tommy said with a chuckle.

‘Do you enjoy my company?’ you asked shyly, looking down at your glass.

‘In a different way, I do’ Tommy said.

‘In a different way, but not in the way a husband enjoys the company of his wife’ you said.

‘Listen, Y/N, neither of us have asked for this marriage. It was your father who insisted and the business between me and your father is extremely lucrative as you know. If I would have known that you are…’ Tommy said, and before he could finish his sentence, you interrupted him.

‘That I am so young?’ you asked before pausing, causing Tommy to sigh. ‘If you would have known, you would have forgone the deal?’ you added.

‘I would have asked your father to consider a more suitable match, a trusted man of mine closer to your age’ Tommy said.

‘Well, it is what it is Tommy. There is no turning back now’ you said, taking another sip of your Whisky, before standing up.

‘I think Marie is waiting for you’ you smirked before excusing yourself.

As you walked to your room, tears were running down your face. You couldn’t help it but, for some reason, you wanted Tommy to be a husband to you.

Were you falling in love with him, the man you were being forced to marry? Are you asking for the impossible? Being loved by a man like Thomas Shelby?

You were devastated by thoughts that he would rather be with his maid than with his wife and wondered why he didn’t see you the way you now wanted to be seen.

First fearful about being with him, you now wanted to be with him and you certainly didn’t want him to be with your maid.

As you went to bed that night, you remembered what your mother had told you about keeping your husband happy in order to achieve a fruitful marriage.

You also remembered that, when your mother and father were in disagreement about matters or your mother was worried about your father’s indiscretions, she would add a little spark to their marriage with a nice meal and paying her wifely duties.

With that in mind, you decided to take things further the following week after Tommy returns from his business trip.

Part Two

‘Good Evening Mr Shelby, how as your trip?’ Francis asked as Tommy arrived back home.

‘Fine, thank you’ Tommy said, handing Francis his coat while Marie grabbed Tommy’s bag.

‘Mrs Shelby prepared dinner sir’ Francis said.

‘She did?’ Tommy asked surprised.

‘Yes, sir. She is waiting for you in the dining room’ Francis said.

‘Do we have guests?’ Tommy asked, causing Francis to shake her head.

‘No sir, just you and Mrs Shelby and she said that you do not wish to disturbed’ Francis said, causing Tommy ponder before he excused Francis, allowing her to finish some of her chores.

‘Will I see you later Thomas?’ Marie asked, causing Tommy to nod before walking to the dining room.

As he entered the dining room, he saw you sitting at the table wearing a beautiful but yet revealing black satin dress and the diamonds he had bought for you to wear at the auction.

Your hair was open, long curls falling over your shoulder.

You were wearing dark eye shadow and red lipstick and your skin smelled like musk and flowers.

‘Good Evening Thomas’ you said with a smile.

‘Is this a special occasion?’ Tommy asked, causing you to shake your head.

‘No, I just thought I would cook something nice for my husband’ you smirked before calling Marie for some wine and telling her that she may serve dinner.

‘You know she will probably burn whatever you prepared’ Tommy said jokingly. He knew that you were very well aware that serving food and food preparation wasn’t one of her chores.

‘I am sure she’s got other qualities’ you said cheekily.

As you talked and ate together, you discovered that Tommy had a pretty bad week.

Amongst other things, he told you about a man called Mosley whom he had met in London two days ago and problems with one of the judges. After that, you moved on to discuss more pleasant matters.

‘Would you like a game of chess and a whiskey to end the day?’ you asked as hours had paused.

‘Alright’ Tommy said and it wasn’t until you got up from your chair and walked with him towards the reading room that he saw the entirety of your dress, which complimented your curves.

‘You look beautiful in this dress Y/N’ Tommy said, not sure what else to say in that moment.

‘We have been married for 6 weeks now and this is the first time you have complimented me’ you said with a smile.

‘I didn’t consider it to be appropriate’ Tommy said as he sat down next to you, handing you a glass of whiskey.

‘I am your wife Tommy’ you smiled. ‘Do you not find me attractive?’ you asked.

‘I do. But, considering the circumstances surrounding our marriage and your age, making any advance towards you would have interfered with my conscience ‘Tommy said.

‘And I am grateful for that Tommy. But, whilst I can be in a loveless marriage, I cannot be in a marriage without any emotion at all’ you said suggestively.

‘So, what do you suggest?’ Tommy asked.

‘I suggest that we consummate our marriage and give it the chance it deserves’ you said, causing Tommy to chuckle.

‘Consummate our marriage, ey?’ Tommy said. He was surprised by your proposal.

‘Yes, unless you rather fuck your maid than your wife’ you said sheepishly and with a smirk. It was clear to Tommy that you were being sarcastic and he began to like this mischievous side of you.

‘Well then Mrs Shelby, shall we go to my room or yours?’ Tommy smirked.

‘Mine’ you said determined as you stood up and offered him your hand.

As you and Tommy arrived at your bedroom, Tommy closed the door behind you while you crossed to the bed to turn on the bedside lamp.

The light was just enough to show him all that he needed to see and no more than you wished to reveal.

Tommy walked over towards you as you stood next to the bed.

Leaning in from behind you, he swept your hair over one of your shoulders and pressed a kiss against the back of your neck while one of his hands dragged the zipper of your dress down tooth by tooth.

Slipping his hands beneath the fine satin, Tommy pushed the dress downward and letting it fall to the ground.

Taking a step back, he admired you, studying every tiny detail of your entire body.

Watching you turn, Tommy reached out and a smile flitted across his lips when you slid your hand into his before stepping up flush against him.

‘You haven’t even kissed your wife yet’ you said shyly before leaning in and pressing your lips on Tommy’s lips.

His lips were soft and tasted like Whiskey. He was a good kisser and it wasn’t long until his tongue found its way into your mouth.

The kiss soon became urgent and heated while Tommy’s hands moved behind your back, unclipping your bra. It landed on the floor right next to your dress.  

His hands were urgently exploring every part of you and you could feel his erection press against you.

As he ran his hands over your firm breasts and breathed deeply, it was clear to you now that he desired you.

‘Tommy?’ you said with a hasty voice as his hand wandered lower, wanting him to slow down. Your heart was pounding by that time and some apprehension had set in.

‘Yes’ Tommy said while he took off his shirt, letting it join your dress in holy matrimony.

‘I haven’t done this before’ you said with some embarrassment as you rested your hands on his bare chest while your eyes were exploring his tattoos.

‘You have never had sex before?’ Tommy asked with slight worry in his voice, causing you to bite your lip and shake your head.

‘Are you sure you want to do this tonight? Tommy asked, running his hand gently over your cheek.

‘Yes Tommy, I am sure. I want to be yours’ you said.

‘You are mine regardless Y/N’ Tommy said with a slight laugh as he caressed your face. In his mind, he had already claimed you. You were his wife.

‘Please Tommy, I want you’ you said with a smile.

‘Alright, I will take it slow then but you must tell me if I hurt you’ Tommy said concerned, causing you to nod. It’s been over 20 years since he had been anyone’s first and this was not something he expected having to encounter again.

Tommy’s touch became gentler almost immediately and you loved the softness of his fingertips on your skin.

His fingers were exploring every corner of your body, for now steering clear from your most intimate parts, while your tongues danced in sync with each other.  

After some more passionate kisses, you let your eyes rove over the expanse of his chest and down the ridges in his torso, which was an area of his body you didn’t dare to look at until then.

You bit the corner of your lip shyly as you pushed the zipper of his pants down with a single fingertip, the fingers of your other hand relieving the button.

You almost let out a soft laugh when Tommy let out a sigh of relief as the pressure lightened considerably around his bulge which was now hidden only behind the thin fabric of his briefs.

Even through the fabric, he seemed huge and for a moment you doubted your decision but then you looked up at him and every ounce of niggling doubt was erased from your mind as his blue eyes gazed into yours.

Tommy stepped out of his shoes and let his trousers nose-dive to the ground as he stepped forward, guiding you back to the bed that stood center stage in the gigantic room.

Brushing his fingertips across your cheek, Tommy rubbed the curve of your side and laid you gently back on the bed.

‘I think I got lucky, having such a beautiful wife’ Tommy said as he lowered himself onto the bed and before exchanging another passionate kiss with you.

Tommy’s lips soon made their way from your mouth to your neck and then over to your breasts.

Every little kiss or touch made your heart gallop within your chest, your blood pounding through your veins, soaring through your body at speeds greater than that of light or sound, or so it felt.

Brushing your fingers through Tommy’s hair as he explored your body, you caressed his cheek and stared down at him, your hips rising subconsciously as Tommy teased the soft skin of your abdomen with tiny kisses and nibbles.

There was a fleeting moment of second guessing when Tommy’s fingertips edged beneath the lacey edge of your panties but as soon as he kissed the skin he revealed it was gone.

Your hips were again rising as Tommy removed the scrap of dark fabric from the apex of your thighs to reveal a silky smooth mound of flesh and the now engorged rosebud of your clit.

Hearing him gasp at the sight, you blushed but followed it with a moan as Tommy leaned down and kissed it once, the length of his tongue sweeping out to take a taste of your secret delicacy.

This was something you didn’t expect. What on earth was he doing?

As you were completely naked before him and he was so close to your most intimate parts, you felt more vulnerable than you had ever been in your entire life but you didn't regret it.

Everything that Tommy did to you in that moment made you jump out of your skin in the most wonderful ways possible.

After he gently ran his tongue over your slit a few times, Tommy told you to relax as he pulled gently at your leg and you slowly let them fall open.

You tried hard not to tense up and, even though you didn't know what he was planning on doing, what he did so far felt good so you were willing to give all of yourself to him.

‘That’s it’ Tommy said after you took a deep breath and relaxed your body.

Tommy took this moment to dip his tongue inside of you gently, causing a loud moan to escape you.

His tongue was skilled, moving in and of you slightly while his hands pressed your legs apart gently.

Tommy then moved his tongue over your clit, flicking it slightly and causing you to make a high pitch noise of some sort.

‘Tommy’ you moaned at the sensation. It was almost too intense.

You closed your eyes as waves of pleasure coursed through your body while Tommy kept pleasuring you with his tongue.

When Tommy's fingers finally brushed against your entrance to join his tongue, you gasped and jumped.

‘Tommy’ you moaned but were also slightly worried about what he might do with his fingers.

Tommy’s erection was throbbing from within his briefs but he knew very well that he would have to take it very slow. As much as he wanted to be inside of you right then and there, he was aware that there was some preparation to be done.

With trembling fingers Tommy gently spread your virgin lips open and let his finger brush against your clit while his tongue continued to run through your folds.

He heard her sharp intake of breath from you when he guided his finger inside of you carefully while his tongue played with your clit.

By that time, you were soaked and he could feel the juices coating his finger.

As he pushed his finger deeper inside of you, he could hear your soft cry of surprise and you arched your back up suddenly.

‘Just relax’ Tommy said as he could feel no resistance inside of you.

He pressed you gently back to the bed and dropped more kisses against your virgin lips before circling against your clit again.

You closed your eyes tight and held your body completely still.

‘Tommy, oh god’ you moaned as he moved his finger in and out of you slowly, over and over again.

You were tight around his finger and had no idea how he would possibly fit his cock inside of you.

It wasn’t long until you moved your hips upward, showing Tommy that you were enjoying what he was doing to you.

Tommy sucked hard at your clit, loving it with his tongue as he slid a second finger inside of you carefully and started sawing it in and out.

‘Tommy’ you cringed at the pressure, causing him to slow down again and holding his fingers steady until the pressure eased.

When he could feel you relax, he began moving his fingers in and out of you again and it wasn’t long until you felt a very unfamiliar tightening in your belly.

‘Tommy, oh my god, please don’t stop’ you begged as your breathing started coming out heavier.

Unlike you, Tommy knew that you were close to having an orgasm and he increased the pressure of his tongue around your clit while continuing to move his fingers in and out of you.

Still unsure about what was happening inside of you, you grabbed onto the sheets as, suddenly, a feeling of ecstasy rushed through you.

‘Tommy, fuck’ you screamed, not being able to control yourself while your orgasm washed over you.

Tommy couldn’t help but smile against your flesh as you coated his fingers in your juices.

After you had come down from your high, Tommy slowly pulled his fingers out of you and moved up the bed to kiss you passionately.

You could taste yourself on Tommy’s lips. It was strange, but you enjoyed it.

‘I don’t know what just happened. I hope the maids didn’t hear me’ you said totally embarrassed as your lips drifted apart.

‘If they didn’t then they are clearly deaf’ Tommy laughed.

‘Oh my god, how embarrassing’ you said. ‘I didn’t expect…’ you said, and before you could finish your sentence, Tommy interrupted you.

‘You didn’t expect it to feel that good?’ Tommy asked, causing you to shake your head.

‘Well, Mrs Shelby, I will make you feel good every day from now on’ Tommy grinned before kissing you again.

‘Is that a promise Mr Shelby?’ you asked in between more passionate kisses while your hand moved in between his legs and beneath his briefs.

‘It’s a promise’ Tommy said as he let out a small groan as you began to stroke his hard cock.

He was thicker than you had expected and your nervousness returned in an instant as he took off his briefs.

‘We can wait if you want’ Tommy said as you continued to stroke his hard cock with your hand.

‘No Tommy, I want to feel all of you’ you said with a gentle voice before Tommy ran his hands lovingly over your legs, pushing them apart all the way, much further than he did earlier.

You took in a deep breath as you gazed into Tommy’s blue eyes while he rested himself in between your legs.

He smiled and kissed you softly. You knew that, what was about to follow would hurt. Nonetheless, you wanted him inside of you so badly.

‘We will take it slow, alright?’ Tommy said with a reassuring voice.

You brought your arms up around Tommy’s neck and pulled his lips to yours, kissing him softly once again.

‘I trust you’ you said, looking deep into his eyes after your lips drifted apart.

With his look fixated on you, Tommy reached down between your legs and grasped his cock in his hand before rubbing his tip against your soaking entrance.  

You moaned softly as you felt the head of his cock pressing against you. But, as soon as you could feel him push inside of you, you inhaled roughly.

‘Tommy’ you moaned as he slowly pressed forward with his hips.

 You couldn’t help it but gasp as you felt him start to enter you.

You dug your hands into his shoulder and held onto him tightly as you felt yourself being stretched.

‘Fuck’ Tommy groaned lightly, trying to force himself to go slow. It took more willpower than he had expected not to simply plunge into you as you were incredibly tight around him.

Pushing into you slowly, inch by inch, he finally felt your barrier. He stopped and looked down at you.

You gave your husband the look of approval as you tightened the hold on his shoulders and wrapped your legs around his waist.

Tommy leaned down, pressing his lips onto yours just before he nudged forward and slipped past that barrier.

As your fingernails dug into the flesh on his shoulders, Tommy swallowed your moan that was different from all the others you let loose earlier that night.

It was indeed painful and some small tears escaped your eyes as he filled you completely.

Tommy kissed away your tears before cradling you against him as he paused once more, giving you some time to adjust.

It was killing him to hold still but he wanted to wait until you were ready.

As you adjusted to him inside of you, the last sliver of pain disappeared and was overtaken by pleasure.

Tommy could feel you starting to relax and move beneath him as he continued to place small kisses on your neck.

He moaned as he felt your small movements and it tugged on his cock.

It wasn’t long until he began to move himself, small and gentle thrusts to start with.

Your thighs clenched and your toes flexed, your hips rising in vain to meet his again only to be pressed back into the bed when he sank back into you.

‘Oh god Tommy’ you moaned loudly. You could've screamed right then and there, from the highest point on the face of the earth, from the insane amount of pleasure you felt.

‘You are so god damn beautiful’ Tommy said as he continued to thrust into, picking up in speed and force.

Your nipples grazed his chest every time your hips collided as your movements became syntonised with his.

Every movement he made, no matter how small, brought a new sound out of you, your voice cresting and dropping to new highs and lows that you never even thought you would reach let alone soar passed regularly.

His thrusts soon became more urgent and you pressed into him firmly, wanting him to burry himself into you over and over again.

By that time, you had lost count of how many times the pressure had built within the cradle of your hips only to explode like a weapon of mass destruction, bringing copious amounts of toe-curling, eye-clenching amounts of pleasure so great that it seemed impossible that the next surge would ever top its predecessor.

By the sounds of your moans, Tommy knew that you were getting close to another orgasm and he was getting so close himself.

He held tight to your hips as he drove hard and fast in and out of you, making you whimper with need.

‘Oh my god Tommy, yes’ you moaned and begged slamming back against him the best you could.

Your body was wound so tight you felt like your body was going to come apart any second.

Your legs began to shiver and your walls were tightening around him as your orgasm came at you like a freight train.

‘Tommy’ you screamed at the top of your lungs, sending him over the edge also.

You came in sync with each other and, with the next thrust, he filled you with his warm cum and coated your insides, flooding you just as you did the exact same thing to him.

‘Fuck Y/N’ he moaned as his thrusts became sloppier while you both came down from your highs.

Moments later, Tommy collapsed next to you before pulling you closer for a kiss.

‘Are you alright?’ Tommy asked, running his hands over your cheek.

‘Yes’ you said quietly but with a big smile on your face.

‘The next time will be easier’ Tommy said, causing your eyes to light up.

‘You know I will hold you to the promise you made me earlier Tommy’ you said.

‘I was hoping that you would’ he grinned before wrapping his arm around you, pulling you onto his chest.

‘Will you stay with me tonight?’ you said as Tommy was brushing through your hair with his fingers.

‘Yes. Tonight and every night from now on if you want me to’ Tommy said gently.

Your body felt relaxed and at ease and, for the first time in six weeks, you felt comfortable in your own bed with your husband right beside you.

That night, he showed you a side of himself you hadn’t seen before, a side you were seeing yourself fall in love with it.

With Tommy holding you close, it wasn’t long until you drifted off to sleep.

But you weren’t the only who felt relaxed and at ease.

Tommy watched you sink into your dreams and a smile emerged on his face. He felt a familiar warmth washing over him, something he thought he wouldn’t be able to feel again.

As he turned off the bedside lamp, he felt a happiness that he hadn’t felt in a long time. Unlike other nights, he wasn’t afraid to drift off to sleep because he knew that, tonight, there would be no nightmares and no memories of Grace, there would only be you.

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #Cillian Murphy x Reader #cillian murphy imagine #Tommy Shelby #tommy shelby smut #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby imagine #thomas shelby #thomas shelby smut #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby imagine #Peaky Blinders #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinders fanfic

[selfdestructivecat]

If you’re still doing headcanon asks: I’d love to hear your thoughts on Simon and Klavier (and Edgeworth?)!

Hello dear anon! Funnily enough, I’ve actually already discussed some headcanons for Klavier and Simon which you can read here! They’re such an interesting pair!

But then, I saw that you included Edgeworth, which gave me a new idea… Dadworth headcanons! No this is not me being purely self-indulgent, shut up!

Major spoilers for Spirit of Justice!

(Also an additional aside, I headcanon Nahyuta with they/them pronouns, so I will be referring to them as such in this ask. ^.^)

Realistic Headcanon:

Given his new position as Chief Prosecutor, Miles doesn’t prosecute many cases anymore. And while he appreciates his job, how it gives him the power to create positive change, he still misses the thrill of unraveling a mystery in the courtroom and of engaging in heated debate with the defense.

But then Sebastian knocks on his office’s door, hesitant and scared like he’s expecting to be scolded, and after some prompting he admits that he was hoping for Edgeworth’s opinion on his latest case. Edgeworth is so unbelievably proud of Sebastian for asking for help, a far cry from the false confidence the young man had been displaying before, and he waves him over with a rare smile as he accepts the offered case file.

And for a moment, it’s like Edgeworth is up late at night reviewing his notes for an upcoming trial, except it’s even better because Sebastian is there, asking questions and supplying some genuinely clever theories. When Sebastian leaves, feeling more confident in himself and his thought process, Edgeworth is still smiling.

And it doesn’t stop at Sebastian. Klavier would also often ask for a second opinion on his cases as well (perhaps as residual trauma from learning of the false verdict he helped influence seven years ago, but Edgeworth would let the man speak of it on his own terms), and Edgeworth is always more than happy to assist.

Simon, Nahyuta, and the other prosecutors are less frequent visitors, but Edgeworth still gives his best advice and offers encouragement when need be. And perhaps he’s a little bit too eager to offer help when he should really let his subordinates handle their jobs themselves, but despite how much he may try to deny it, he cares way too much.

(More Headcanons Below!)

Unrealistic (but Hilarious) Headcanon:

Edgeworth mothers all of his subordinates, but will firmly deny all of it or simply excuse it as normal boss/subordinate behavior, even though it absolutely is not.

Ema ran out of snakoos? Her stash is restocked before she even notices.

Taka is feeling sick? An appointment is already booked with a veterinarian Edgeworth’s dog, Pess, seems to really like, and Simon has the rest of the day off to take care of his friend.

Nahyuta is feeling homesick? They find several keepsakes from home in their office the next day, imported and shipped as fast as money could allow.

And you better believe that Edgeworth would have food and water in his office for whenever he notices any one of his subordinates is cutting meals. Packed lunches? He’s practically perfected the art of packed lunches.

And Edgeworth would deny that he’s behind it all, but while he is extremely intelligent when it comes to figuring out the truth behind difficult cases, he is an atrocious lier.

Heart-Crushing and Awful Headcanon (which actually isn’t that awful now that I’m thinking about it but shhhhhhhhh):

Miles had a… complicated relationship with Father’s Day. He lost his father early on, and Manfred von Karma never truly treated him like a son. As such, the holiday was simply a painful reminder of what had he lost.

That slowly changed when Trucy entered his life. He was so careful around her, keeping his distance out of fear that he would somehow taint her. He may have been getting better and seeing a therapist, but trauma doesn’t simply go away, and he still harbors the fear that he will end up like Manfred von Karma and hurt those he loves. But Trucy is having none of that, sucking Edgeworth into her life like a vacuum, and when he and Phoenix finally get married, she transitions from calling him “Uncle Miles” to “Papa” like she had been waiting for it her entire life.

The first Father’s Day gift he receives from her, a box of tea and an incredibly thoughtful card, makes the normally stoic man burst into tears. For one single moment, all of that fear is gone. He had done something right. He must have, for this amazing young girl to love him enough to give him a gift. The card is framed and resides in a special place in his office.

But it doesn’t stop there.

The gifts from Kay and Sebastian make sense, he supposes, given how he’s acted as a pseudo father figure towards the two, but it still catches him off guard nonetheless. He can’t stop himself from crying on those occasions as well, much to Kay’s amusement and Sebastian’s distress. It becomes another wonderful part of Father’s Day.

Ema has grown more aloof over the years, and her minor celebrity crush on Edgeworth has likely faded away, but she still admires the man a great deal. As such, along with her gift to Wright, she gives Edgeworth a gift every Father’s Day. Again, an extremely tearful affair.

And then Klavier’s gift joins them. Klavier tries to make it a light-hearted affair, acting nonchalant as he thanks Edgeworth for all of his advice and for looking after him during such a difficult part of his life. Except it’s a bit difficult to act like it’s not a big deal when Edgeworth is suddenly sobbing and wrapping him in a hug, and then the both of them are a crying mess. Like the others, Klavier continues to give Edgeworth gifts on Father’s Day.

Simon hears about this tradition and decides to contribute as well, partially as a joke but also to thank his boss for participating in the trial that granted him his freedom, as well as for helping him readjust to life outside of prison. He is caught off guard when the waterworks begin, but he silently allows Edgeworth his moment and continues to honor this new tradition.

Nahyuta is the last to participate. The holiday is a bit of a sore subject for them as well, given how they had only recently learned of their real father (and only after he had died). Still, they were determined to not allow their feelings to interfere with their work performance, so they arrived at the Prosecutor’s Building and threw themself into casework.

Edgeworth recognizes this workaholic mindset instantly (given how he’s prone to falling into it himself), and gently reassures Nahyuta that he’s here if they need anything. Nahyuta is extremely touched by the gesture, and when they overhear Klavier and Sebastian chatting about the gifts they gave Edgeworth for Father’s Day (and chuckling at how the Chief Prosecutor’s reaction is exactly the same every time), Nahyuta knows exactly what to do.

Edgeworth would like to say that he’s gotten used to the gifts over the years… but he hasn’t. He still cries every time, and it’s no different with Nahyuta. Nahyuta doesn’t say anything, simply allowing Edgeworth his moment before excusing themself, but later on Edgeworth would notice that several lavender-winged butterflies had managed to invade his office. Their presence is surprisingly calming, so Edgeworth leaves them be as they flutter around for the remainder of the day.

Unrealistic Headcanon That Will Probably Never Happen:

I know the games are mainly focused on the Wright Anything Agency, given how our protagonists work there, but I would LOVE a game (or even one case!) where you play as one of the prosecutors and get to witness all sorts of hilarious shenanigans. And I know that the Investigations series exists, but you don’t get to see much of the other prosecutors we know and love!

Maybe you can play as Edgeworth again, trying to wrangle his subordinates with all of their strange quirks. Maybe you play as Simon, intimidating and psycho-analyzing your way through a particularly tricky trial. Maybe you even play as Sebastian, where you can truly see how he’s grown into a fantastic lawyer (even if he still confuses words sometimes).

I just love the prosecutors so much and would love to see more of them! And more Dadworth interactions? Yes please!

Thank you so much for this ask! This was so much fun to talk about!

Send Me a Character or Relationship (Platonic or Romantic), and I’ll Give You Some Headcanons!

#myasks #anon asks #ask game #my headcanons #ace attorney headcanon #ace attorney #miles edgeworth #ace attorney miles edgeworth #sebastian debeste #ace attorney sebastian debeste #kay faraday #ace attorney kay faraday #trucy wright #ace attorney trucy wright #klavier gavin #ace attorney klavier gavin #simon blackquill #ace attorney simon blackquill #nahyuta sahdmadhi #ace attorney nahyuta sahdmadhi #ema skye #ace attorney ema skye #dadworth #narumitsu #spirit of justice spoilers #soj spoilers #headcanon ask game

[elainsshadows]

I want to talk about Elain today and her role in future books. I will also be talking about other ships at the end of this including: Lucien x Vassa, Lucien x Elain, and Azriel x Gwyn. These are merely my opinions and thoughts, this is not me trying to bash anyone else's opinions. I am open to having discussions as long as you are kind and respectful.

This is going to be long as a warning. Let's begin.

Quiet Strength

My friend recently start reading ACOTAR and she came to me one day and said that she had found a quote that she really liked. That quote was:

"She had looked at that cottage with hope; I had looked at it with nothing but hatred. And I knew which one of us had been stronger" ~ ACOTAR, pg. 259

I know that a lot of antis like to bring up the fact that Elain didn't do anything but plant flowers and such while Feyre was out risking her life to put food on the table. Why hadn't Elain planted food instead? As someone who tried to garden vegetables with her dad one year I can tell you it's not as easy as flowers.

Maybe Elain was trying to bring some color into their drab little existence like Feyre had done with the paints. Maybe she wanted one thing to make her happy.

When Feyre comes to see them in ACOMAF, to ask for their help, it was Elain who said that they should help.

"If... if we do not help Feyre, there won't be a wedding." ~ ACOMAF pg. 247

"Feyre gave and gave - for years. Let us help her. Help... others." ~ ACOMAF pg. 248

Elain was risking a lot by saying they should now help their Fae sister. She was going to be married to someone who's family hated the Fae. If they found out what Elain and Nesta were doing it would probably be the end of her engagement to Graysen. They would become Fae sympathizers and like the Children of the Blessed we see mentioned throughout the books.

Would a coward risk all of this? Not to me they wouldn't.

When Rhys, Az, and Cassian arrive once Elain had cleared out the servants. Elain, while scared, still tries to be a good host to the four of them. I want to come back to this scene when I discuss Elriel because this was the moment that I first started thinking that they would make a good pair.

But while Nesta and Feyre are more bold with their actions like wielding swords, bow and arrows, knives, etc., Elain doesn't necessarily back down from a challenge. When given Truth-Teller she simply states that she doesn't know how to use it. She does not shove it back at Azriel and refuse it, she simply informs him she doesn't know how to use it.

Also when they had been captured by Hybern and all that mess was going down. Tamlin had been gunning for Feyre and it was Elain who did this:

"But Elain's cry - a warning. A warning to- To my right, now exposed, Tamlin ran for me. To grab me at last." ACOMAF pg. 602

Elain, despite being scared in this highly stressful situation, saw her sister in danger and tried her hardest to warn her. If it had not been for Elain, Tamlin might have been able to grab Feyre at that moment in all the confusion and chaos. Despite being in her nightgown and terrified she still tried to protect her younger sister.

Once again when people are in danger once the Wall had been taken down it was Elain who spoke up. She knew that Graysen's family's estate could help protect those closest to the Wall and from any Fae that may come to do them harm.

"Glamour me," Elain said - to Rhys. "Make me look human. Just long enough to convince him to open his gates to those seeking sanctuary." ~ ACOWAR pg. 471

"It's already ended badly. Now it's just a matter of deciding how we meet the consequences." ~ ACOWAR pg. 471

She's Fae now. If Graysen or any of his family or those working for them knew this (which we see that they did) then they might kill her on sight. She risked her life to make sure defenseless humans remained as safe as they could with the oncoming war.

When Azriel and Feyre go to Hybern's camp to save Elain they also save another human. They are being pursued and clearly, the human girl is terrified of them, but it is Elain that says this:

"Grab onto him!" Elain ordered to the wide-eyed human girl as Azriel thundered toward her. *skipped ahead* "Elain screamed at her, "If you want to live, do it now!" ~ ACOWAR pg. 577

She also does this when the King of Hybern's beasts are upon them:

"Elain moved. As Azriel battled to keep them airborne, keep his grip on them, my sister sent a fierce kick into the beast's face. Its eye. *Skipped ahead* "Elain slammed her bare, muddy foot into its face again. The blow struck home." ACOWAR pg. 577

Knowing that their lives are in danger and that if this beast does anything to Azriel's wings they are all going to die. She does not hesitate and does not back down as she goes after the beast with her barefoot.

She slays the King of Hybern as well:

"Elain stepped out of a shadow behind him, and rammed Truth-Teller to the hilt through the back of the King's neck as she snarled in his ear, "Don't you touch my sister." ~ ACOWAR pg. 652

She has a protective streak in her and she will go down swinging if she has to.

And this I just found interesting. Everyone seems to shy away from Amren, but in ACOFAS this happens when they're all eating together:

"Elain, to my surprise, held Amren's gaze." ~ ACOFAS pg. 108

I just like that she held Amren's gaze.

Being Feminine Isn't Boring

I see a lot of people saying that Elain being feminine is boring, that she isn't an exciting heroine. Yes, Elain isn't one of SJM's typical heroines, but I think that makes her all the more interesting. We've never seen someone who isn't like Aelin, Bryce, Feyre, and Nesta from SJM.

"Elain stood between Nuala and Cerridwen at the long worktable. All three of them covered in flour." ~ ACOWAR pg. 386

"Elain was in the kitchen, helping Nuala and Cerridwen prepare the evening meal." ~ ACOFAS pg. 101

"She'd been toiling in the estate gardens since dawn." ~ ACOSF pg. 28

"Elain had already departed with Feyre, claiming she had to be up with the dawn to tend to an elderly faerie's garden." ~ ACOSF pg. 311

Do I think Elain's entire book will be based on her baking and taking care of gardens? No, I don't. I think she is capable of more than that and that is going to lead into my next point.

Elain Archeron, 007

This is not a new theory and it isn't even one that I came up with. Many lovely Elriels have pointed out comparisons to Azriel and Elain and how he may even teach her how to be a spy. I think it is a perfectly lovely idea. Let me show you some quotes from the book that make me think that this could be a possibility.

"Elain spoke from the doorway, having appeared so silently that they all twisted toward her, "Using me." ~ ACOSF pg. 230

They were talking about looking for the Dread Trove here and scrying. They were debating who should do it when Elain stepped up. She has done this before and with her seer abilities she is a perfect choice for the job. Obviously several characters aren't thrilled with the idea (Nesta and Azriel being two of the ones that don't like the idea).

"Azriel stiffened, an outright sign of temper from him as he said quietly, "There is an innate darkness to the Drea Trove that Elain should not be exposed to." ~ ACOSF pg. 311

"Elain saw every single thing Nesta had done, and understood why." ~ ACOSF pg. 470

"You came," Elain said behind her, and Nesta started, not having heard her sister approach. *skipped ahead* "Wondering if she'd been taking lessons in stealth either from Azriel or the two half-wraiths she called friends." ~ ACOSF pg. 595

We see that even Nesta is questioning whether or not Elain has been having lessons. She very well could have or this could be a hidden talent that Nesta has never gotten to see or never cared to see because she viewed Elain as someone who is innocent and needing protection.

Nesta mothers Elain throughout the series, we constantly see her coming to Elain's defense, stepping in front of her, talking for her. And while Elain used to let that slide we can see now that she is coming into her own and not letting Nesta walk all over her.

"Elain said, "You can't have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater." ~ ACOSF pg. 232

I think Elain has been denied many things in her life because she has been seen as the most beautiful. Her own mother seeing her as nothing more than a pretty face that would be easy to marry off once she was of age. What will she do now that she has more freedom than she did before? Now that she will not become some lord's wife?

I do not see Elain as a warrior who is ready for battle, but I see her being ready for a different kind of battle.

"It took hours for Elain to work her charm on the staff to swiftly pack their bags and leave, each with a purse of money to hasten the process." ~ ACOMAF pg. 250

You know who else is charming? James Bond.

Being another pretty face has something going for Elain. No one would look at her and think "Yeah she's totally a spy." She can charm people, make them feel more at ease, and get them to open up. Maybe even enough that they think nothing of divulging things in front of her that otherwise shouldn't be overheard.

Maybe she can learn to glamour herself so that she is not recognizable to others. Who knows but I'm sure we'll find out when her book happens.

Welcome To Spring

One of my least favorite theories I've seen is that Elain will leave the Night Court and her family to go to Spring. Even going as far as saying that she will wind up with Tamlin. I don't think Feyre would let her sister wind up with her abuser plain and simple. Nor do I think Elain would fall for her sister's abuser just because he lives in a land of eternal spring and has flowers.

In ACOSF Nesta has this thought:

"Elain would love this place. So many flowers, all in bloom, so much green, *skipped ahead* But Elain... The Spring Court had been made for someone like her." ~ ACOSF pg. 454

While I do believe that Elain would love the Spring Court I do not think she would ever leave her family or friends behind.

"Two half-wraiths she called friends." ~ ACOSF pg. 595

"Cassian kissing Elain's cheek in greeting. *skipped ahead* Amren came next, giving my sister a nod. *skipped ahead* The Mor, with a smacking kiss for either cheek." ~ ACOFAS pg. 105

We also know that the sisters tend to consider one of the brothers friends. Feyre with Cassian, Nesta with Azriel, and I believe Rhys and Elain will also be friends. He seems to like Elain (certainly more than he likes Nesta).

Plus now there is Nyx in the mixture and why would she leave and miss out on her nephew growing up? What about if Nesta becomes pregnant and has a child? So no I do not believe that Elain will leave the Night Court.

Shipping Time

Here is where opinions and feelings may vary and people might not like what I have to say. Just know that these are merely my feelings on a ship. Ship what you want to ship, I am not here to gatekeep. These are merely my feelings on the matter. I'm going to start with the two ships I like: Elain x Azriel and Lucien x Vassa.

Elain Archeron x Azriel

I mentioned this earlier but I've been shipping them since ACOMAF. I saw the potential for them from the moment they began to interact.

"Elain rasped, "Nice to meet you," before hustling after her, the silk skirts of her cobalt dress whispering over the parquet floor." ~ ACOMAF pg. 253

I like the symbolism in this line. Cobalt = Azriel's siphons. Whispering = Azriel's shadows. While it might not be that deep as a writer I like the small things like this in my works. Things that later when you come back to them after something important happens that is a callback to something like this you can go "ooooh that makes sense now, yeah." We also do see other mentions of Elain wearing blue, but this post is long enough and it's only a few more times so I don't think it's worth noting. This part just sticks out to me because it's the first time they're meeting and like I said I love symbolism.

"Elain said to Azriel, perhaps the only two civilized ones here, "Can you truly fly?" ~ ACOMAF pg. 256

Elain who has been taught to fear the Fae is talking to him, also probably leaning around Cassian - who she is seated next to and also has wings - and asking if he can fly.

Azriel responds on the same page saying, "We're born hearing the song of the wind." And her response of, "That's very beautiful." This is the same male who famously said he wouldn't need poetry to woo a woman. Maybe he's not trying to woo her here, but he's trying to impress her.

"Elain, noticing Azriel's ease as proof that things weren't indeed about to go badly offered one (a smile) of her own as well." ~ ACOMAF pg. 258

She seems mighty comfortable with a Fae she just met. Which leads my into my two mate theory that I've had for some time now.

We know the tweet where SJM says that someone can have two mates. This was during a time when one of the TOG novels was about to come out and was probably referencing something in there, but I think it would be interesting to see play out in this situation as well.

We've seen several times people questioning Elain and Lucien's mating bond. Feyre and Azriel both do it. Feyre during ACOWAR and Azriel in his bonus chapter from ACOSF.

We also know that not all mates are happy pairings ie. Rhysand's parents and Tamlin's parents. We also know that sometimes it's based on who would have the strongest offspring. We can see this reflected in both Rhysand and Feyre's mating (he's considered the most powerful High Lord and she has abilities from all seven HLs).

But what if Elain and Lucien aren't true mates? True mates to me is a happily mated pair like Feyre and Rhys as well as Nesta and Cassian. Azriel questions why his brothers were mated to two sisters while the third was mated to another. (Pardon me for not using quotes here, I do not have the bonus chapter so I am going from memory.)

Why indeed? And I think it was because he was on the floor dying at the time. We know that the Cauldron loves Elain, so if her true mate was on the floor dying and there was no guarantee for survival it would make sense for the Cauldron to gift Elain another mating bond.

I will talk more about this in the section where I discuss them as a ship, but I wanted to briefly mention it here.

We also know the scene where Azriel hands over Truth-Teller to her, something that shocks all of them. I think of Truth-Teller like Azriel's security blanket. Something that brings him comfort and he never ever wants to part with it. But he gives it to Elain.

After she was taken by the Cauldron and held captive at Hybern's camp. After she says this:

"She shook her head, devouring the sight of him as if not quite believing it. "You came for me." The shadowsinger only inclined his head." ~ ACOWAR pg. 573

Why did she look only to Azriel? Why did she seem so surprised that he would come for her? Kind of like how a princess might not believe that her prince has come for her. (Love me some Disney princess movies)

To me these two just fit together. And to me they are more like Hades and Persephone than Feyre and Rhysand are. And hear me out: Elain as Persephone, goddess of spring. Azriel as Hades, god of death. (Feyre once calls him Death when thinking of a painting of him and Elain. Death and the lovely fawn she called it). Some might see Azriel and Elain falling in love as stealing her away from her mother (or mate in this case).

Also if you want another mythology reference. Paris (Azriel), Helen (Elain), Menelaus (Lucien). Helen was considered the most beautiful and was stolen away from her husband Menelaus (though I think she went with Paris willingly so there's that.)

I see so many parallels and signs that point toward an Elriel endgame. We know Elain's book is in the works and I'm pretty sure it's next since Sarah has talked about doing research for her book. We also know that Sarah is excited to work with Azriel as well.

Moving on.

Lucien Vanserra x Vassa

I've been shipping them since ACOWAR. So not as long as Elriel, but since a bit. I think this was the line that did it for me:

"Indeed, Vassa still remained inside, chatting with Lucien animatedly. *skipped ahead* Lucien, surprisingly, was chuckling, his shoulders loose and his head angled while he listened." ~ ACOWAR pg. 690

Unlike with Elain, he seems comfortable around Vassa.

"Even with Elain here, he's become close with Jurian and Vassa. He's voluntarily living with them these days, and not just as an emissary. As their friend." ~ ACOSF pg. 57

I'm a sucker for the friends to lovers trope (it only falls after the enemies to lovers trope). And while we do not have a lot on them I can see the two of them being happy. I can see Lucien trying to find a way to make her immortal if that's what she wants. And I just want the two of them finding their HEA together in the final book.

My theory is that Vassa will be the MC of the last book and will deliver the killing blow to Koschei (as she should). I would love to see their journey together and their time together in the mortal lands especially since the mating bond would be severed at this point if Elriel is the book before this one. I want Lucien to be happy and I think that he could be happy with Vassa.

Elain Archeron x Lucien Vanserra

We know that Elain and Lucien are mates. He announced this on page 608 a little bit after Elain had come out of the Cauldron. But these two do not seem to fit together in my opinion. Now please note I have nothing against Elucien, I even like some of the fanart and the theories I have read are wonderful. I'm just personally not a fan of these two because of how they were thrust together.

When comparing Jesiminda and Elain, Lucien says this:

"Elain had been... thrown at him." ACOWAR pg. 249

I know Lucien wants to be happy and I know mates are special, but I don't necessarily think that Elain will be his happiness. I think that the way they met ruined that for them.

"But Elain blinked slowly, "You were in Hybern." *Skipped ahead* "You betrayed us." ACOWAR pg. 250 - 251

Lucien, however willing or unwillingly, did play some part in Elain being turned Fae. He was one of the reasons she could no longer go home or marry Graysen. I don't know if that's something that could be overcome especially since Elain is still dealing with the events of that day.

We also know that Elain tends to avoid him, shrinking in on herself when he's around. Another reason why I can't ship this is because I've been in a similar situation where people were pressuring me to be with someone I had no interest in. I know what it's like to hear "you two are perfect for each other", "you should give him a chance", "just try".

Their relationship is not evolving naturally like Feyre and Rhys's did or Cassian and Nesta's. I don't think Lucien would ever push the mating bond onto Elain, but I do think since it's something special to Fae he may cling to it more than she will.

Another thing about their bond that doesn't sit with me is how it is described.

"It felt... strange," Elain breathed. "Like you pulled on a thread tied to a rib." ACOWAR pg. 301

"There's a bond - it's a real thread," he said, more to himself than us." ACOWAR pg. 301

Other bonds have been described as "so much golden thread" or an "unbreakable chain". But Elain and Lucien's is described as a singular thread that feels as though it were attached to a rib. To me mating bonds are like soulmates, why would that bond be attached to a rib and not the heart or her being?

I believe that once again either the Cauldron created this bond between them or maybe they are not what's considered a "perfect match" like Elain's sisters with their mates are.

I will say this: If Elain and Lucien do wind up together I won't be mad. Sure they are not my preferred ship, but they both deserve happiness and can find it together then good for them. We will just have to wait and see where SJM takes them.

Azriel x Gwyn Berdara

I've lowkey been dreading talking about them because of how toxic this fanwar between Elriels and Gwynriels gets. Once again this is just my opinion and my theories. No hate or shade to any of the shippers. I will not be bashing theories. If you don't want to read my thoughts then please just leave now and pretend you never saw this.

I do not like Azriel and Gwyn as a ship for one very big reason: power imbalance. Azriel saved Gwyn from a highly traumatic experience. Now before I go any further let me say that I brought this up to my mom who also reads the series but isn't a shipper, she just reads them to enjoy them. I asked her what she thought of Az x Gwyn as a pairing and if she would like to see that and she said no that she also felt there would be a power imbalance.

Gwyn is a strong character, but I do not think I could get behind her and Az as a couple because of how they met.

I also do not believe that Gwyn will be the MC of any of the last books there are. We still have Elain's book, possibly a Mor book, or even Vassa. There are too many people from the original trilogy that we need to see books for. While I will not rule out a book in the future I don't see her getting one now.

I know the necklace is a hot button issue, but I also don't believe that Clotho gave it to her. We never hear it mentioned in the main portion of the book and I think Clotho knew how troubled Azriel was and thought that she should hold onto it just in case.

"You're the new ribbon, Az," ~ ACOSF pg. 623

Gwyn is a competitive person, to me this line that Nesta says is here merely telling Az that Gwyn's next challenge would be to prove him wrong about the training course. Nesta knows of Azriel's feelings for her sister by this point, so I don't see this line as her teasing Az about Gwyn possibly having a crush on him.

But again these are just how I interpret things between them.

These are all my thoughts at the moment that I'm going to share. If you would like to have a discussion my ask box is open. Hate will not be tolerated though.

#Elain Archeron #Elriel #Azriel #pro Elain Archeron #pro Azriel #pro Elriel #ACOTAR 5 #ACOTAR 5 predictions #ACOTAR theories