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thequietmanno1 · 1 year

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Thelreads, MHA 267, Replies Part 1

1) “Alright, still a bit shaken up from the experience that was that chapter I read this afternoon, but I can do it, time to return to the main series! Alright, last time we-

we-

oh, I remember what happened last time.”- Probably not the chapter of levity and wholesomeness you were hoping for after that scene from Vigilantes, huh? Sorry to say, but with events being as they are in both series, SpyXFamily’s your best bet to counter the bleakness. 2) “Also, hello Mirko, nice seeing you again, good to see that arm you ripped off is doing well.”- If there is one thing Horikoshi does well, it’s writing good female characters. Mirko wouldn’t be mind-controlled into going on a murder spree by some flimsy little parasite, she’d rip that shit out herself and do it on her own time. 3) “Oh, hello there Hawks, good to see you`re getting up to speed with the chapter already. Geez, I sure hope you don`t need to face any fire-using villain after killing their friend or something.”- Well, now we know that Dabi never really considered Twice or any of the league his actual allies in the same way they thought about each other, so … 4) “Good one Hawks. How do you survive fire? Easy answer, I kill them before they can use it. Flawless logic there”-Which underscores the disadvantage hawks has against Dabi, because for once, Dabi’s the one striking first, attacking Hawks before he can retaliate and using whatever advantage he can get to weaken the hero, focused only on killing him, nothing else. He’s not even that deeply upset by Jin’s passing, judging by his warped smile there, so long as he gets to kill a top hero like Hawks – and furthermore, he’s clearly savouring his suffering for personal enjoyment, rather than any kind of pragmatic reasoning. Hawks can’t fight him off, can’t distract him, and can’t escape from him- if not for Tokoyami showing up, he’d have been killed despite all his skills, becase Dabi’s extremely focused on ending the hero’s life for his own unclear motivations, not for the sake of the league or anybody else. 5) “And now back to the the fan-favorite Uber F(at), delivering our kids to where they need to be. I can see Kaminari, Tokoyami, Skelly face and Mushroom satan. Good thing this is a high capacity vehicle.”- Shock-absorbent and comfy foam padding – perfect for transporting teenagers around your ongoing warzone. 6) “You kids were the frontline because your quirks were perfect to wreak havoc around and get them all scattered. Now the pros can just pick up their target, and it`s exactly like Fat said, throwing thunders or making mushrooms grow around would easily end up causing some friendly fire.”- I do appreciate that whilst the kids were involved in the attack, they were never intended t fight up-close with the enemy. They were the long-range artillery, supposed to confuse, disorientate and incapacitate the villains from a safe distance before the experienced pros handled them up close, and now that’s done, they’re being moved to a safe location whilst the fighting wraps up. The heroes might need every advantage they can get, but they’re not gonna force a bunch of kids to fight psychotic murderers up close…though not much can be done if said kids choose to fight the villains themselves… 7) “You and me both Kaminari. Now, tell me Tokoyami, what does your bird eyes see? Is it Hawks charred body hanging from a window?”- Well, zipping around the back of the building with what scant feathers remain for him to use, but close enough. (MHA ch 266) 8) “The heroes outside are just like “the fuck they doing up there?””- Well, at least one hero trainee was…. 9) “OH RIGHT, BACK TO THIS PARTICULAR MOMENT.

SURE. FUCK YOU HORIKOSHI, NOW PLEASE PROCEED WITH THE PAIN.”- Whilst Hawks’ pain was clearly on display, Dabi’s contradictory attitude and mannerisms derailed any emotional impact in his ‘grief’ and apparent sorrow over Twice’s loss, and just raised more questons and theories for the fans. How does he know Hawks’ name? Is he really not caring about the League, or just putting on a façade that he doesn’t care to handle the loss, pretending Twice was an asset and nothing else to him, to protect himself from any emotional investment? He seemed to be somewhat chummy with Twice just prior to him rushing out the door, giving him a high-five and some encouraging words, only to backtrack on that the instant his body hit the ground. Is his warped smile really because his face is too damaged to do anything but put on a rictus grin when he wants to scowl or cry, or is he actually somehow happy that Hawks killed Twice and dirtied his hands? If so, what could he possibly have gained over losing such a valuable asset that would be worth it, beside bringing hawks dowm from his position as a ‘pure’ defender of justice and heroism? 10) “OH OKAY. YEAH, I MEAN, IT WAS TO BE EXPECTED THAT HAWKS GOT CAUGHT ON THE CROSS FIRE, BUT JESUS I THINK THAT WAS ALL OF HIS FEATHERS”- He basically managed to lethally stab Jin in the back by rushing at him through the fire, so if anything he’s lucky that it’s his back that’s ablaze and not his front- at least that way he can still see where he’s going to try and escape the psychotic maniac out for his blood now. 11) “oh- That`s… That`s definitely not the expression I was expecting to be honest. Sure, Dabi has all that burned flesh on him, but even so, this expression… And I see that there`s steam coming out of his eyes, it looks like his tears are boiling, but there`s also steam coming from his mouth and neck, so it`s probably that he`s just overheating.”-There was a lot of discourse about this when the chapter first came out, people trying to decide whether Dabi really didn’t care about Twice at all as a person and why he’d be happy he was dead if so, or if he was just putting on a brave front before Hawks, acting like he didn’t care to pretend to himself the loss of somebody he might have considered a friend wasn’t painful. The fact that he apparently seems to be trying to act grief-stricken at first further muddied it – was he just trying to make Hawks suffer from guilt more, or was that a genuine outburst that he tried to cover up by pretending he didn’t actually care at all, Psyche, gotcha? 12) “Alright, the tear situation was solved, but, what the fuck dude

that- that actually was a bit worse than what I said on the last chapter. He really didn`t gave a fuck for Twice as a person, he`s sad because with him dead they lost one of their super weapons.

what the fuck dabi”- He could be lying about this to an enemy, or he could be being actually honest for once with a man he plans to kill in the most emotionally and physically painful way he can- Dabi’s true adganda and plans for joining the league have never really been clear, just that he put them first before anything else and that he truly believes his personal goals have the best chance to come to fruition as long as he’s under their banner. 13) “Okay horikoshi, I get it already, Dabi is a sick fuck that cared less for Twice than the guy that just murdered him, fine, don`t need to twist the knife any longer,”- He doesn’t, but Dabi sure as hell wants to. Whatever his motivations, hurting Hawks both physically and psychologically is giving him life right now, and he’s on cloud 9. 14) “Huh… It could be that Dabi was also part of the program that Hawks was part of, but if that was the case, you`d expect Hawks to at least remember someone with a similar quirk.

This all seems fishy, there`s something strange going on.”- Dabi knows too much about Hawks’ real past, and by extension, this means that he knew Hawks was a trained spy and infiltrator that was most likely working on behalf of the heroes to track down the league. Yet, he not only brought him in and vetted for him after Hawks passed his ‘test’, he seemingly did nothing to stop Hawks gathering intel for this strike, despite that undermining the villains’ chances of succeeding in their ‘war’ with the heroes. If Dabi knew that their organisation had such a capable infiltrator, why did he let his attack go ahead, implicitly betraying his allies against the heroes despite opposing them himself?

(MHA ch 266)

15) “Is that what you`re worried about Hawks? You`re a pro hero, a governmental agent, and they had all the resources in the country, how the fuck do you think he got your name smart guy? Was it the super hacker on their team? Or the dozens of other hackers that he employs?

We`ll never fucking know I suppose.”-

It’s not just that he knows his name, but that Hawks gave it up so long ago. He’s a kid when the commission erased his past like the MIB, and buried the truth in the black archives of their bureaucratic system. Yet this distinctive, unknown villain who suddenly appeared one day out of nowhere somehow knows about him, and the parts of Hawks’ past that are supposed to be off-limits to everybody. And if he knew that, he knew what he was up to the entire time, but did nothing about it. So why? What’s his goal, and why is he working against both the heroes and the villains for his own purposes? @thelreads

#bnha #my hero academia #thelreads #chapter replies #mha267

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nochiquinn · 2 years

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legend of vox machina episode 9: tide of bone OR jelly cleric

briarwood flashback!!

grey griffin just breaking mirrors in fits of despair

ceiling vecna is watching you masturbate

and then they just adopted the whole aesthetic

delilah ur bleeding out probably

good thing he doesn't have the New Vampire Uncontrollable Hunger thing going

"no dear you stay here and look pretty"

I always thought sylas was in on it tbh

like he clearly knows what she does and what she's capable of but she never told him the extent of what she did to cure him/bring him back?? I guess??

do we have to start every episode with the sun tree

has vax called keyleth "kiki" exclusively since that first time?

this is not a complaint

whitestone has a fairly expansive cemetery, right? am I remembering that wrong?

vax and keyleth hanging onto each other after escaping the horde ❤ everybody assuming percy would take over as soon as he came back bc he's A Noble and that's What Nobles Do

"you probably would have been fine" "no, I wouldn't"

he was thinking about saying it then but nerves got the better of him, you can't prove me wrong

"I mean that was kinda hot, but..."

"could be worse" "how?!" "could be my arm"

archie is not having good luck with hideouts

vax and kiki back to back ❤

that death gurgle was sam

(since they said most of the background death screams are just them I've been listening for them)

"they're losing heart, percy, say something to them" "this is noT MY DEPARTMENT"

and like that's canon, percy as one of the younger kids was p much left to his own devices bc he had like two older brothers in line before him (I think they changed that here, or I'm misremembering)

so he legit DOESN'T know how to lead or inspire people. he just has The Name so everyone's looking to him

"want me to whack it off?" "you might have to if I lose it" you double those entendres

archie is just perpetually not here for vm's bullshit

"I don't mean to rush you" "then don't"

BAD NEWS

nothing travels farther faster

the anime gleam

they all just look like skelly

this is now two named rebels that have died saving scanlan

vex recognizing percy's thousand-yard stare

like honestly in a vacuum vex is the better choice to lead. she more or less leads vm, as much as anyone can. but whitestone doesn't know her from adam's housecat (yet), they won't trust her

"I've got this" YEAH YOU DO

vex's little nod

like vex's problem isn't even with HER, it's with VAX, but it's easier to be mad at her than her twin

"have I mentioned you're amazing?"

"yes, yes, she's the tits"

"I'm not a leader. I ran."

THE NAME

isn't "Inspirational Speech" literally a feat

like I don't know if percy ever took it but it would fit his later character arc

like he had to have SOME idea of what to say/do - play on their attachment to/respect for archie, the aforementioned presumptions about him as A Noble - even if it's just stuff he picked up offhand from his dad/brother

it's just not his nature. it's a skill he has to cultivate, and in the middle of an ongoing rebellion when he has a literally demonic focus on personal vengeance is not the ideal time to start

I have so many suspicions and over-analysis of cassandra's tears here but they won't sit still long enough for me to words them

basically is it a reaction to his speech or what she knows she's setting him up for

IF CASS GOOD WHY CRY

(science.)

I already made my post about The Line but I deeply, deeply love keyleth's reaction and vax's little :( as she runs off

IT'S OKAY BUDDY SHE'S JUST STRESSED

I see cassandra got the sabre percy never used

MY GIRL

"you look....like an angel"

"marry me?" "sure. let's do it. right now."

it's okay scanlan she'll mean it eventually

"astral projection" "your ass what"

FUCK YEAH CHAMPION OF THE EVERLIGHT

I love every single instance of Back-to-Back Badasses in this entire show

(more gifset ideas)

"gimme a lift, I wanna try something stupid"

grog's uncontained glee at getting yeeted

"EW ew ew ew ew"

the closest to travis' RECKLEGREWEAPOMASTAH we'll get

"mine fell first"

vedmire lost kneecap privileges

the arrow taking out the zombie about to jump percy

wrong sun deity

"may your weapons strike with the divine of the everlight. now go crush some fucking heads!"

I think this is the line ashley was trying to walk with pike to start with but she just wasn't there enough to build it up properly

pike lantern

SHE

"this is the only freedom I offer you"

NOW IMAGINE IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW

shit, I don't know at this point, with how they've moved things around. and that's exciting! I'm excited!

#the legend of vox machina #lovmtag #critical role #spoilers #crititag #liveblog #reaction post #I also want a six-minute version of the credits song

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parvulous-writings · 3 years

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A Ship’s Crew

Victor Farley x Mainland!Reader

Genre: Adventure

Warnings: Mentions of death, and bones.

Summary: The reader has chosen to join Captain Victor Farley, and the crew of the Omen. An introduction to the main members of The Omen.

Words: 2.6K

Notes: Wow! Recently reached 200 followers! I am beyond amazed! Thank you all so, so much for showing interest in my work! It means so much to me! :D My requests are currently open! My pinned post (found here) contains both a list of characters I write for, and a masterlist! Original character list - please request for these too!

Thank you to the amazing @rey-is-not-a-skywalker for allowing me to use their wonderful characters, Stubbs and Destiny! Truly, it would not be a story without that pair. This is for you, bor.

Not my gif

“Well, now you know just a little bit more about the world around you, and what we as a crew stand for.” Victor spoke again. “You of course have a day or so to think on it, but… Would you care to join us?” He extends a hand to you.

Do you take it?

You consider the Captain’s offer for a moment, running your current and available options through your mind, before extending your hand to meet his, shaking it with a firm grip. He gave you a charming and hearty grin, starting to laugh happily. “Oh, splendid, splendid!” He exclaimed, moving his other hand so that they both clasped yours. “We’ll make you feel right at home here, I assure you... We’ll get you your own equipment when we get to Galleon’s Grave- for now, though, let’s get you introduced properly to the crew, shall we?” He grinned, walking around the table, and putting an arm over your shoulder. “Ah, wait, hold on.” He chuckled, slipping away from you again and grabbing his heavy coat from where he had left it over the back of the chair. He slipped his arms through the green and grey sleeves, doing up the middle two buttons. Victor looked to you, gesturing with his head towards the cabin door. “Well, let’s get moving then, whilst there’s still some daylight to be utilised.” He held the heavy door for you, and you step out on to the deck again. The crew were still rushing this way and that- though they seemed to have calmed down considerably since you last saw them. They were moving much slower now, more of a meander than anything. Victor payed them no or little mind, beckoning for you to follow him up some steps, towards the helm. You take the steps carefully as the keel of the ship rode and broke through a particularly rough wave. Farley cleared his throat to capture your attention, and you turn to look towards him, rather than the expansive open waves that covered the horizon. “This man here,” He placed his gloved hands on the shoulders of the man stood at the helm- his bright red and yellow coat a stark contrast to the dull and dark colours of the ship’s deck. “Is Stubbs. He’s my first mate; and the finest merchant I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting on these seas.” The man he was essentially showering with compliments gave a quiet chuckle. “Thank you, Captain.” Stubbs replied, a wide smile on his face. “Of course, my good man. You know I only speak the truth.” Farley gave him a fond smile as he spoke. “We’ve known each other since the day I arrived on these seas,many years ago, and hopefully we’ll know each other for many more to come.” Stubbs nodded happily in agreement with this. It was quite clear from the way they were acting around each other that they were close. They were so relaxed, and so obviously happy, it brought a smile to your own face.

“So, sir,” You start, and Victor turned his gaze onto you. “How long have you been here?” You asked him, and his brows furrowed slightly as he started to think. He ran one hand over his mustache and down his beard. “I’m not quite sure... I had just turned nineteen when I decided to stay here on the Sea of Thieves...” He looked to Stubbs, “How many years have we known each other, Stubbs?” He asked, quietly, as if he didn’t want you to hear him. Stubbs shook his head with a gentle laugh, “Too many, and not enough, sir.” Was the first mate’s happy reply. Victor playfully rolled his eyes at this answer, laughing softly at his friend. “Good enough, thank you,” He started to move away from the helm, beckoning for you to follow behind him. “Before you go, sir- we’ve about an hour till we arrive at Galleon’s Grave.” Stubbs pointed to the horizon as he spoke- and you could see a rather pointed island off in the distance, and you presumed it to be the outpost that Victor had spoken about prior. “Ah, brilliant. Keep her steady for me for the time being. I’ll bring her in to port shortly.” He assured Stubbs, which seemed to relief the merchant a little bit. Truth be told, it was risky business letting anyone besides Captain Farley sail The Omen into port, either at an outpost or an island, for the ship did not seem to respond as well to anyone else.

You get guided down the steps back onto the main deck. Victor leads you towards the central mast, on which leant a young woman- topless bar a few deep blue bandages around her chest, shorts with a belt that seemed to only serve the purpose of holding a cutlass every now and then. Her chest was smothered in tattoos, similar to how Victor’s arms had been. These were very different in hue though; where Victor’s had been a rather faded black ink, this woman’s was a stark and rather vibrant red. They looked almost... Sore. “This is Destiny.” Victor’s voice roused you from your thoughts, as your eyes locked with the cerulean haired woman, who gave you a little bit of a smirk. “Our resident Reaper representative.” “Try saying that three times fast, eh, sir?” Destiny chuckled, as she pushed herself away from the mast. Victor rolled his eyes at her joke, folding his arms over his chest and using one hand to prompt her to introduce herself through her own words. Destiny turned her gaze back to you, “As Captain Farley said- I’m the Reaper’s Bones representative here on The Omen. I do what I have to to get a job done, you follow?” She paused, and you gave her a little bit of a vague look. “Okay, okay; I do risky things some people think are stupid.” She simplified her explanation quickly. “They are stupid.” Victor mumbled as he looked over to the right, and Destiny sighed in exasperation. “No, they’re not. Name one thing I’ve done recently that was stupid, Captain.” She challenged. “Would you like the alphabetical list, or the chronological one? I’m fairly certain that Stubbs has both in his possession.” Farley replied, deadpan. Destiny didn’t look impressed, to say the least. “Off the top of your head, sir.” She clarified. “Alright.” Victor adjusted his stance slightly, prepping himself for his example. “Last Monday- we were doing our usual route around Crescent Isle and Sailor’s Bounty, and you launched yourself off of the ship, and straight into a gunpowder skelly, merely because you claimed to see what we were searching for.” You didn’t understand much of what Victor was saying, but from the mention of gunpowder you gathered it was none too pleasant. “I did see it! I saw the loot, I swear!” She exclaimed. “The skeleton just... Got in the way! It wasn’t there when I fired myself out of the canon!” Victor ran his hand over his face as Destiny kept on talking. “You may be one of my most trusted friends, my girl, but.. Sometimes I do wish you’d think things like that through, rather than being so... Recklessly impulsive.” He turned on the heel of his boot to walk away, but it seemed that Destiny had one last thing to add. “I got us the gold, though, didn’t I?” You didn’t need to look at Destiny to know she had a rather smug smirk on her face- you could hear it in her tone. Victor looked over his shoulder, and gave a simple nod. “Yes, Destiny, you got us the gold.” He replied, simply, before facing ahead again and heading up towards the held once more. Destiny gave you a two fingered salute as she took up her normal space leaning against the central mast- where you had found here earlier. “Catch you later, rookie.” She grinned at you, before turning her attention back to the crew who were now rushing around about her.

You jog to catch up with Victor, nearly slipping on the sea-soaked wood beneath your feet. The Captain grabbed your forearm, laughing softly. “Careful there.” He pulled you back up so you could steady yourself again. “Don’t worry, you’ll be getting used to things like that...” He told you as he started up the steps towards Stubbs and the helm. “You know what? I’ll buy you a good pair of boots- you’ll be needing them I think.” He glanced down at your shoes as he spoke. You smile appreciatively at his offer, and nod heartily in agreement. “You never know,” The Captain continued, “You night be able to get a coat like mine.” He mused. Stubbs was within earshot of the pair of you now, and merely laughed at Victor’s comment. “Who on all these seas would want a coat as heavy or as dull as yours, Sir?” The merchant joked with a wide grin, to which Victor replied with a playful slap. At this, instead of retaliating, Stubbs relinquished the wheel- and it was here you managed to catch a glimpse of what the wheel was fashioned out of. Instead of wood, as one may have expected, the spokes were made out of... Bones. Human bones. You give a quiet, almost horrified gasp as you take an instinctive step back, and Stubbs quickly moves to catch you should you fall. “I know how bad it may seem to you,” The Aussie blurted, “But truthfully it’s not as bad as it may seem- they’re skeleton bones!” He exclaimed, before realising what might be wrong with that explanation. “That is to say, they were essentially dead when we got to them...” He explained, and you calmed down ever so slightly. “You remember what I said about the Order of Souls?” Victor asked you, calling over his shoulder as he navigated the sea vessel around a rock protruding from the ocean waves, “Well, this is one of the rewards they may try to give you when you bash enough skeletons back into the sand. The capstan, and canons are the same- see?” He pointed briefly forward, down to the deck. At a glance, you didn’t see anything as unusual as the wheel had been. Then you saw them- first the skull, seated in the middle of the capstan, surrounded by femurs; and then the canons, adorned with the ribcages of long dead skeletons. Truly, if you were an enemy of the Order of Souls, The Omen would be one hell of an adversary to get through.

“Raise middle and back sails!” Victor bellowed, making sure his voice reached all the crew on deck. The crew immediately set about following the orders they had been given, shouting to one another to communicate which way to pull the ropes, all working together as one to do as they had been told. Victor was quickly turning the wheel, and now you could in part understand why his arms had been so toned when he rolled up his sleeves back in the captain’s cabin. “Raise the front sail!” His voice boomed again, as the ship drew closer to the wooden dock. “Should we anchor, sir?” Stubbs asked, and Victor shook his head in reply. “When do we ever anchor, Stubbs?” He retorted with a faint chuckle. “It makes us sitting ducks- we’ve been through this before.” “I know, Captain,” Stubbs sighed, sounding a little exasperated. He shook his head as Victor patted his shoulder with a laugh. “Now, now, don’t go sulking off. I know that look.” Victor grinned at the man he was speaking with. “I was hoping you could help Ver and Jade deliver some of our cargo to the merchants whilst I take our new crew member down to the tavern and the other facilities available.” Stubbs looked over his shoulder with a smile. “Alright... I can never refuse something like that from my Captain.” The merchant mused, before heading down the stairs onto the main deck, talking with two other crew members dressed in similar clothes to him- they must have been Jade and Ver. “Right, now this way,” Victor caught your attention, leading you to the side of the ship on deck, where a gang plank had been lowered onto the dock. The sound of Victor’s boots on the surface of the wood sounded almost like a horse, and you followed swiftly after, glancing up and down the dock.

You had disembarked near a small market stall-like structure built into the dock- covered in crates, cages and other goods to be transported across the seas. Stubbs, Ver and Jade moved towards the small area, arms full of crates of silks and tea. They were very clearly the merchants, and welcomed the three pirates graciously. You walk further, and the wooden planks of the dock transition into soft sand. You walk up a little slope, catching up with Victor and walking beside him as he reaches the door of the local tavern. There was a woman leaning against a support beam, and eating a mango. “Ah, Captain Farely. It’s good to see you again, how long has it been?” She asked him with a smile. “A long time, Larina.” Victor replied with a chuckle, “But I can’t stop now- new crewmate to become acquainted with,” He nodded to you as he held the heavy tavern door open, gesturing for you to enter the dimly lit establishment first. “I’ll be seeing you.” He nodded to Larina, ducking inside as she waved her goodbye with a low chuckle.

The tavern was rather small- it would just barely be able to fit the crew of the Omen in there, and not all of them would be able to sit down. “You go and find a seat, I’ll get us some drinks.” He told you, and you nodded in reply. He approached the bar, smiling in greeting at the barmaid. You see them exchange a few words as you take a seat at a round, rough table. The wood threatened to stab a splinter into you hand or finger, so you try to keep your skin away from the surface. Victor soon returned to you, placing a large, metallic tankard in front of you; to which you give him a quizzical look. “Is this..?” “All yours, yes.” Victor chuckled. “It’s alright, I was just as concerned when my captain put my first tankard in front of me.” He told you, taking a slow sip of the frothy grog in his own tankard. “Take it slowly- it’s strong stuff. You’ll get used to it eventually, but for now just take it one mouthful at a time,” He suggested with a warm and friendly smile. He then raised his tankard ever so slightly, extending it to you. “Well- to the newest member of the family on The Omen!” He proclaimed. “May your seas be blue and calm, you gold and glory bountiful in equal measure!” He chuckled, as you gently knocked your tankard against his with a small, almost invisible sheepish smile. You take a cautious sip of the alcohol, and almost choke on the liquid. “Oh my god,” You sputtered. “That’s revolting!” You slam the tankard down onto the table, causing it to shake, and Victor chuckles lightly. “Yes...” He agreed quietly, looking down into the barrel of his drink. “It is less than savoury... But honestly, after a while, you don’t really notice it.” He leant a little bit closer to you so he could whisper. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to finish it all.” He assured you, before leaning back and getting comfortable again. “Anyway. After this, we’ll get you some proper gear- you can pick out whatever you like, I’ll splash out on you this once. But you lose or damage any of it- you’re on your own for that.” He grinned playfully. “Alright, thank you, Victor.” “My pleasure,” Farley nodded, raising his tankard again before taking another sip.

#sea of thieves #sea of thieves x reader #sea of thieves oneshot #pirate oc #pirate oc x reader #pirate #pirates #pirate x reader

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queen-scribbles · 3 years

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Hundred Year Habit

@haledamage and I challenged each other to write “happy together decades/centuries down the road” fic for our Wayhaven girls, and to my great and lasting shock KASEY was the first of my girls to volunteer. (I actually finished this mid-March and have been sitting on it for Mason’s birthday :P)

----

Kasey kicked the door closed behind her with an ill-tempered grunt, then glared at it when the subsequent rattle knocked a picture off the wall.

Mason turned to look at her from where he sat slouched on the sofa and arched a brow, but that was the extent of his reaction to her mood.

It was, in her current state, all the invitation she needed. “Skelly’s is soddin’ gone,” she growled as she skirted the sofa. It squeaked a mild protest when she plunked down and spun sideways to drop her head in Mason’s lap, legs dangling over the opposite arm of the couch. “The space is turning into a damn tea room.”

He idly settled one arm over her midriff as he shrugged. “So pick a new coffee shop, sweetheart.”

Kasey snorted and lightly bopped her fist against his knee. “Oh, sure. It only took me seventy five goddamn years to find somewhere that serves literally the perfect cup of coffee, a replacement’s probably just around the corner.” His other hand threaded slowly into her hair, and she leaned briefly into the distraction of it before shooting a pointed look at the cigarette between his lips. “What would you do if you couldn’t get those any more?!”

He grinned sardonically and lifted his hand from her stomach to hold the cigarette. “Cope. Might just have to get annoyingly clingy with you.”

“You sayin’ you want me to get annoyingly clingy with you, sunshine?” Kasey snarked, heels kicking lightly against the side of the couch.

“Better than being whiny,” Mason said, both brows raised as he looked down at her.

She smirked and sat up. “Ah, but whining means--”

He kissed her as he leaned over to drop his cigarette in the ashtray on the coffee table.

“--you doing that to shut me up,” Kasey finished mischievously when he broke the kiss.

“Don’t blame me for your bad habits, sweetheart,” Mason shot back, but he was smirking to match her as he tugged her in for another kiss.

She went with it, scooting to sit across his lap even as the kiss kept going. (It was, she mused, very handy not needing to breathe sometimes.) Her fingers dug into his hair and she smirked at the rough hum of approval it elicited, his arms tightening around her waist.

They held the kiss for a dizzyingly long time before breaking apart with matching quiet gasps. Mason shifted, turning his head in her loose grasp to press a lingering kiss to the inside of her wrist, right where the scars from Murphy used to be. She had no idea how he still remembered; the faint marks were centuries gone, but he did.

Kasey bit her lip, rested her forehead against his temple at the gesture. “I still need my coffee,” she mumbled into his hair.

“If all you need’s a pick me up, I can help with that,” he murmured back. His fingers edged under her t-shirt, leaving goosebumps in their wake as they trailed up her back.

She smiled and shifted to straddle his hips,” I do love your pick me ups,” she whispered as she kissed him, her hands now resting on his shoulders as she played with the ends of his hair. “Think we have time for one and me getting coffee before we meet the rest of the team?”

Mason’s boots hit the floor with a dull thump and he sent her a positively wolfish grin. “Let’s find out.”

“Mason!” It came out half laugh, half shriek as his hands moved from halfway up her back to the backs of her thighs for support while he pushed to his feet. She instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist, burying her face in the side of his neck as he started for the bedroom. (Nate had nearly killed the pair of them the first--and only--time they’d been too impatient to move it off the couch here.)

He growled softly at the brush of her lips over his skin and tightened his grip to shift her slightly higher.

Kasey hummed when he kissed the base of her throat and shoved the bedroom door closed behind them as they passed through. “You better hope I still have time for coffee...”

Mason chuckled at the ultimatum and dropped her on the bed, easily following when she pulled him after her.

--- ---- ---

Despite her only half-joking threat, Kasey was in no hurry to move when they were done. She rolled over to rest her chin on Mason’s shoulder blade, untangling her hand from his in the process so she could trace random patterns between his freckles.

“Happy now?” Mason asked, clearly smug even with his voice muffled by the pillows.

“Mm.” She kissed a couple freckles, whisper soft, and grinned at the shudder that earned. “What was I mad about again?”

He half-rolled over to smirk at her before, reluctantly, “We gotta get moving...”

Kasey groaned and leaned a little into the kiss he offered, then grabbed for him as he slid out of bed. “Now?”

“Hey, you’re the one who wants coffee, sweetheart,” Mason retorted with a chuckle as he gathered their clothes from various corners of the room. “If you’ve changed your mind...”

She sat in the middle of the bed, blanket pooled around her hips, and actually hesitated reaching for her clothes as he tossed them at her. How badly do I really need coffee...?

He paused with his shirt halfway on and cocked a brow at her. “Shit, really?”

Kasey groaned and ran a hand down her face. “No, you’re right, we should go.” She reached for the clothes with a sigh. “’Specially since I need to find a new coffee place.” A small pulse of melancholy twisted in her chest. Sure, it was just a coffee shop, it wasn’t like watching a person age and die, and she only went there when they were in the area, but... “How the hell is anywhere s’pposed to measure up to a hundred year habit?” she muttered as she wrestled on her bra and t-shirt.

“Not like this is the first time you’ve had to do it.” Mason sat on the edge of the bed to pull on his boots.

“Thanks for the reminder,” Kasey retorted, raking hair out of her eyes. “It’s always a pain in the ass.”

She left off the other part; that every time was a glaring reminder of how impermanent everything around them was. She forgot sometimes, dealing with other supernaturals as much as they did. But then she had to find a new favorite coffee place, or one of Nate’s books tripled in value because it went out of print or became a classic, or Felix had trouble finding the jeans he liked because they’d gone out of style, and it was sharp evidence that no matter how long-standing some things were, nothing lasted forever. (Some, truth be told, she’d been glad to see go. Others she still missed.)

Mason must have pieced together her train of thought, or read it in her eyes--he was damn perceptive, and after a few centuries with someone, you got real good at reading them. “Hey.” He leaned back and kissed her, far more gently than they’d been doing a few minutes ago, if no less deeply.

Kasey carded her fingers into his hair, massaging slightly as she leaned into the kiss as well.

You’ll always have me. It was unspoken, but she still heard it loud and clear. And she knew it was true, straight down to her bones, with an intensity that made her chest tight and breath catch sometimes.

Like now. Thank you, was what she felt. I know, was what she meant. But after a shuddering gasp to catch her breath, “We really do need to go,” was what came out. She stole another emphatic kiss. “Unless you want another lecture.”

Mason growled softly and rolled his head to press more firmly against her palm, then straightened. “Rather save that for a special occasion, sweetheart,” he said with a smirk that made his meaning clear.

Kasey chuckled and shimmied into her jeans. “That’s what I figured, sunshine.” She yanked on shoes and they both grabbed jackets before heading out the door.

Mason’s arm circled behind her as they stepped into the street, his hand sliding into her back pocket. “Which way?”

Kasey grinned as she draped her arm around his shoulders and steered them left. “I think I saw a place down here that looked promising...”

The coffee place was a bust, however, much to her dismay, and they didn’t have time to track down another before meeting the team. “Least I have all the time in the world to keep looking later,” she snarked to cover her disappointment.

Mason tossed her a keen look, then nudged them into an alley to kiss her, pinning her against a wall as her hands dug into his hair. “I’m happy to fill in as pick me up til you find one,” he mumbled against her skin.

Kasey chuckled and kissed the corner of his mouth. “Careful, sunshine, I might take you up on that.”

“That’s the goal, sweetheart.” Mason leaned in for another kiss, and Kasey let herself get lost in it.

Here’s to the one habit I’ll never have to break. She smiled at the thought, warmed by knowing even when she couldn’t find coffee, she’d always have him.

#queens fic #kasey valentine #mason #kasey/mason #the wayhaven chronicles #twc

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bluejaytaco · 4 years

Text

More DND with Jay

(long post is long)

(A session where Ticket Master; our chaotic god friend(?) transported us into another world where shit ain’t so bad. And our team actually works for BBEG. Also, he transported us while he himself fought BBEG. We’re trying to retrieve a sword for him.)

Alternate selves: (See us) who are you guys?

Art(panicking): We’re the improv group!

DM: Is that really what you’re going with?

Me: guess so....

Everyone else: (agreeing that Art’s panic induced call is the way to go)

Me: You know what? Imma try to seduce myself.

Koejin’s player: (gasp) yessss!

(low roll)

DM:.... Alright. So, Art goes up to himself and feels like they just had a moment, leans in to kiss himself and the other Art backs up and says “whoa whoa whoa. What the fuck are you doing? I mean, I’m pretty sure I can do better than me.”

Art: I mean.... fair...?

Koejin: Holy Shit, their Art’s an asshole!

DM: No, this is completely in character for both. Art hates himself.

Me, nodding: hardcore.

DM: So, after asking you guys all your jobs, the coordinator leads you all down the hall. He stops, turns to Art, and... kisses him on the cheek. It’s Ticket Master.

Art, exasperated: For fuck’s sake....

Ticket Master, grinning: Did I trick you?

Art: Yeah, you did.

Ticket Master: Well, now you guys have to put on that performance. Good luck! (vanishes)

Theodora, sick of his shit: So, how’s that fight going with Mrs. Red?!

DM: A piece of the ceiling breaks off and hits Theodora right in the head.

Theodora, unfazed: Oh, not good, eh?!

Art: ....fuck just... please don’t die...

(We ended up corrupting that world’s Hennessy, who then turned and attacked Ticket Master with the sword. That only opened the portal to our home on Ticket Master himself. Art gets thrown through when he tries to stop Eltbalm from attacking Red. Eltbalm then gets put in a “cube of holding” Alabaster’s been carrying and everyone else jumps through the portal after shouting for Good Mrs. Red to follow us to get Eltbalm back.

Before she can jump through the portal too, Mrs. Red gets her head cut off by a force we didn’t see and the portal closes. Our Mrs. Red is still pissed and still ready to kill us all.)

Ticket Master, freezing time to reappear right before Art gets fucked up: Alright, now if you want me to reverse time so you can save that clearly dead girl (gestures to Art’s sister laying on the ground) you need to give me my sword. After that, you never have to see me again.

Alabaster: (Standing tall and defiant)

Art: givehimtheswordgivehimtheswordgivehimtheswordgivehimthefuckingsword.

Theodora: Don’t do it, Alabaster...

Ticket Master: Look, I just want my damn sword. Give it to me and I’ll be on my way.

Art:.... Alabaster, please....

Alabaster: (Deep sigh and a pained look to Art) Here... (tosses the cube to Ticket Master.)

DM: Ticket Master pops the sword out of the cube and straps it to his back. With a quick snap of his fingers, everything is back to the way it was right before Mrs. Red burst into the cabin. Everything’s still frozen but Rieta is still alive and in one piece. He looks at all of you, tips his hat, and disappears.

(This is definitely something we won’t regret.... And I highly doubt the relationship between Art and Alabaster will be exploited in any way shape or form.)

Art, to General Green once he’s back: So.... sorry about my memories and all...

Green, possibly remembering the whole Ticket Master thing: (grunts)

(Later, he makes it verrrrry clear he has no faith or trust in Art. He blatantly states this to Alabaster.)

Me, singing: Nobody trusts Art, nobody trusts Art.

Alabaster’s Player: Except Alabaster, who met Art before anyone else and immediately imprinted on him like a baby duck.

Me: lol true.

(Art gets into a little fight with Ticket Master and pretty much sleeps with the first woman who shows interest; a bartender in the tavern owned by our leader.)

DM: So, Art; as you’re having sex with Shia, her eyes go pitch black and start oozing. She then starts to attack you. What do you do?

Me: ....uhhh, scream. Loudly and a lot.

Everyone else: (rolls to see if they can hear Art.)

Theodora: Did you hear that? Sounded like Art.

Koejin: How do you know it’s him just by a scream?

Theodora: How do you not? All Art does is scream.

Me: Hah, yeah....

DM: Everyone bursts into the room to see Art in a corner just screaming “dude, dude, dude, dude!” Shia is pissed off and points at him, then yells out “You will never get answers out of me!” Just before she attacks him, the wall breaks down and Rieta comes bursting through. The two of them starts to fight and break through to the outside. They make their way down the hole where the giant worm popped out before.

Everyone:.....

Theodora:.... What just happened?

Art:.... I am never having sex ever again...

(Hennessy runs downstairs in a faux panic to get everyone out of the bar.)

Thia: What’s going on?! What do you mean we’re under attack?!

Hennessy: Oh, it’s nothing. It’s just your employee turned out to be evil. You really should do a proper background check!

Art, coming down the stairs: Yeah, sorry. I think I turned your bartender evil...

Thia, eyeing Art: It’s okay. Would you mind putting on some pants?

Art, forgetting he was naked: Shit, right. (runs back upstairs)

DM: Did no one check on the tiefling boy? (His name is also Art.)

Me: Yeah, I’m gonna check on Little Art after I put on pants.

DM: Okay, so Art gets dressed and sees the boy sitting on the bed in the other room. He looks at Art and says “What happened? Where’d Mom go?”

Art:... Um, your mom went to take care of something. I’m also gonna go take care of something. We’ll be back soon, okay? You stay here and stay safe.

DM: The boy nods and settles back into the bed as you leave.

Alabaster’s player: so wait, this is Art’s...?

Me: Nephew, yeah.

Alabaster’s Player: Awww, Uncle A!

(Running gag in our campaign: If we roll really high on analyzing something that doesn’t need that much detail, the DM will overdo it. By like a lot. It’s most common when rolling on a door to make sure we’re not stepping into a trap.)

DM: So, you analyze the door and notice the knob is made of a beautiful brass. (goes on and on and on about the doorknob.) oh, also, the rest of the door is made up of gnome skulls...

Me: Feel like the gnome skulls were more important than the doorknob.

DM: fuck you.

In game:

Art, the one who checked this door:....um (looks at Wreybar; the gnome barbarian).... maybe they’re human... baby skulls? (DM: Roll deception on...yourself??)

Koejin: How is that any better?!

(Party is in the dungeon. Alabaster could not join us for this particular session. We find a gnome who is a part of Wreybar’s backstory. His name is Hector. He is being pulled around by air elementals.)

Me: Can I try to grab Hector before they can drag him back to the barrels?

DM: Roll for it (Cue shitty roll) So, Art tries to grab Hector but then trips over a rock and falls flat on his face.

Hennessy: Air elementals are always trying to get something and don’t stop until they have it.

Wreybar and Art(In unison): Looks like they’re trying to get a Hector (Both gasp and look at each other) Eyyyyyyyy! (finger guns)

Me: Wreybar and Art are having a moment

Wreybar’s player: (laughs)

Koejin:(Having dealt with air elementals before) So, we need to get all the oxygen out of the room.

Hennessy: (eyes the barrels of gun powder in the corner) I have an idea. (makes a copy of Hector for the elementals as Theodora grabs the real Hector. Everyone runs for the door we came through and Hennessy throws a fireball at the door then slams it shut.)

DM: Remember, the door is made of brittle bones.

Theodora: I put up my shield for everyone to hide behind.

DM: So, the flames bellow around the shield. Art, you stick your head up and come back down a second later.

Art: (the only one who’s fireproof) Yep, that’s fire!

DM: (going on and on about the next door and the history of its wood and the doorknob, which had a dent in it from a kid who was then verbally abused by his mother and grew up to be an accountant. It took five minutes to explain.)

Koejin, fascinated by the door she checked: wow... this door has some history...

Art: Huh, there’s a dent in the knob. Wonder where that came from...

Koejin: Well, let me tell you! (retells the story to an awestruck Art)

DM: So, at the end of one hall, you all see a body slumped against the wall wearing armor and holding a sword.

Theodora: I call out to the person.

DM: There’s no response.

Me: Okay, I want to investigate the body.

DM: How close are you getting?

Me: Uhhh.... like... ten feet? I don’t want to get too close.

DM: Okay, so you move closer and check it out to see that he is very dead.

Me: Okay, I’m going for the sword and armor. (Rolls a decent Slight of Hand)

DM: So, you go to pry the sword out of the hand and it just opens for you. Then, you go for the armor and his head pops up. His eye sockets look into your eyes and he says “oi! What you think you’re doing?!” He’s undead.

Art: (Still holding the guy by the armor) Oh.... uhhhh. Just... taking your stuff...

Undead guy: Like Hell you are! (DM: He goes to headbutt you and (Rolls)...dammit! His head falls off!)

Art: (watches the head roll away) Yeah, I’m taking it.

Undead guy: Oi! Stop it! (DM: He prepares to punch you in the face and (rolls) Fuck! His arm falls off!!)

(A series of failures later)

Koejin: (to Theodora) Can we keep him?

(His name is Skelly and he wants to kill gnomes. Hector in particular. But it’s okay; Hector’s a douche who’s trying to kill Wreybar. We promised him Hector and a world of adventure if he helps us... Our DM gave us actual NPC children and our party adopted a skeleton named Skelly who wants to go on adventures because he’s never seen anything other than that hallway.)

DM: It’s getting late. Do you guys wanna keep playing? I could wrap it up here with a cliffhanger.

Koejin’s player: Yeah, might as well. If we keep going, Alabaster might end up a little too lost. We’ve already got a lot to explain.

DM: Okay so, Theodora. You open the door to the room with the void. Inside, you see a floating map and a key. But you also see something else. A portal you’ve seen many times before. You know by sight, it’s a Ticket Master portal. But the person who steps through is wearing a wizard hat. You see it’s Hennessy from the alternate universe. His eyes are blacked over.

Hennessy B: (smile) Hello... friends.

DM: From the portal, you can see hands. It’s all of your hands and they are pulling themselves through.

Theodora: uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..... (roll credits)

Hennessy’s player: seems like things are coming back to bite us.

Koejin’s player: huh.... it’s almost like our actions have consequences...

#adventures of art the bard #dnd #bard #ranger #cleric #wizard #paladin #barbarian #homebrew #homebrew characters #long post #adopting npcs #Art's dex rolls are either spectacular performances or falling flat on his face there is no in between #there's so much more that I wanna post but these are some of the highlights #the explosion was the night's play of the game #shut up jay

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keelywolfe · 5 years

Text

FIC: Terms of Engagement ch.4

Summary: Rus is still a kid himself and with his life turned upside-down, he has no idea how he’s going to take care of his baby brother. Having other kid skeletons appear in his world wasn’t exactly the help he was looking for.

Tags: Pre-Spicyhoney, Underfell Papyrus, Underfell Sans, Underswap Papyrus, Underswap Sans, Undertale Sans, Undertale Papyrus, Babybones, Scientist W. D. Gaster, Possible Past Child Abuse, Skellie Daycare, Growing Up Together, Big Brothers Caring For Their Little Bros, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Angst

Notes: Ah, the days of skellie daycare are over. Our boys are grown, but things aren’t well in their worlds. Something is wrong and Rus is going to find out what. Whether he wants to or not.

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three

Read Chapter Four on AO3

Read It Here!

~~*~~

Some Fifteen Years Later

“Time to get up, brother!”

Rus rolled over on his bare mattress with a groan, pulling his blanket back over his head. Not that a flimsy barrier was going to stop his bro, not a chance. Nothing short of a brick wall could stop him once he got going, and Rus didn’t keep one of those in his inventory.

Maybe he should look into it.

In the meantime, he could only hiss like a new vampire when Blue yanked open the curtains to let in the artificial light. It gleamed blindingly off the snow and through the window, directly into Rus’s cringing sockets. Satisfied at his brother’s betrayed howls, Blue dusted off his hands and turning back to Rus to scold, “Brother! Get up!”

“c’mon, bro!” Rus’s words were muffled into his pillow. “can’t you see i’ve been working myself to the bone?”

He peeked out in time to see Blue stamp one of his booted feet indignantly, gloved hands on his hips. “You have sentry duty in an hour! How can I catch a Human if we aren’t watching for one!”

Rus rolled over with a yawn, “don’t worry, bro, ulna be late.”

“Ugh, brother!” Blue shook his head, but beneath his pained disgust was a glimmer of humor. “All right, I’m leaving, but I’ll check on your post later!” He left, but poked his head back in to add, “I wasn’t bone yesterday, mweh heh heh!”

Blue vanished again as Rus chuckled to himself. He waited until he heard the front door close before rolling over to snag his cigarettes. His bro couldn’t stand the smell and he had enough to gripe about already this morning. A flick of his lighter and Rus drew in a long breath of smoke, held it in even as trickles escaped through his ribs, and exhaled it in a pale cloud. He flopped back in bed, careful to let the ash fall to the messy floor rather than into the sheets.

Idly, he considered the glowing tip of the cigarette dangling between his fingers. He’d started smoking not long after they came to Snowdin. Couldn’t really hurt him much and it made him seem older to Monsters who weren’t interested in looking too closely. Back then, anything he could use to make others not question him raising his brother had been helpful.

Mostly he’d fooled everyone with a trick as simple as abandoning his stripes early. That made it easy to pretend to be older than he was. He’d been tall even then and no one asked any troublesome questions. They’d let him come into Muffet’s after a long day of napping on sentry duty, let him drink alongside them and no one questioned that he preferred honey to whiskey; all Monsters had their preferences. It’d worked until he was old enough for it to not matter, and no one had been the wiser.

That was years ago now, though and Blue was of age himself, for whatever good it did him here. Ah, his wonderful, sweet-natured bro. So desperate to be liked and to make friends. The residents of Snowdin were nice enough, but outside of Muffet’s, they tended to keep to themselves. The cold weather and being trapped Underground tended to sap away friendly impulses and no matter how hard Blue tried, no one had been willing to step into the role of friend for him.

It hurt a little to know that Blue probably hadn’t had a decent friend since they’d stopped using the machine.

Since he’d lost Edge and Papyrus.

Damn, but it’d been a while since he’d thought of them. Rus sat up a little more in bed and lit another cigarette as he thought of his bro’s childhood playmates.

The scrapbook Blue made with their pictures all those years ago still sat on his bookshelf, but it was dusty with disuse. It was a wonder Blue remembered them at all, he’d still been a wee baby bones back then.

~~*~~

Barely a month after whatever happened to Red and Edge was when it all finally fell apart. Their little shared worlds were already beginning to unravel on the day it was Rus’s turn to watch the kiddos. Sans came right on time to drop off Papyrus. Kid was as wriggly as ever in his cheery orange-striped shirt, squirming down from his brother’s arms and off to play with Blue.

The two of them stopped asking when Edge and Red were coming back, but Blue still sniffled about it at night, lying in bed with Red’s worn-out jacket clutched in his arms.

To Rus’s surprise, Sans lingered and his grim expression brought no comfort. Not after what happened with their missing friends.

“what is it?” Rus asked, low to keep the kiddos from hearing him.

“we need to talk.”

Shit. Rus nodded and led Sans to his room. Their bros would be okay to play on their own for a little while. He sprawled out in his bed cushions, drawing up a knee to rest his chin on.

“okay, spill, what’s going on?”

But Sans wouldn’t be rushed. He settled to sit on one of the larger cushions that passed for a chair, legs crossed under him, and said bluntly, “we need to talk about what that fucker did to us.”

Rus could only blink, shocked to his core. They all had a fair idea of what had gone down before, even if their memories were pretty damn shaky. None of them ever compared notes, but they’d been to each other’s worlds, dozens of times. They’d seen the equipment, the tables with the straps on them. They all knew without a word, so Rus wasn’t sure why Sans wanted to share any now. “i don't want to talk—”

“i know you don't!” Sans said and his normal amicable tone was lost in a fury that jumbled in even more confusion. “me either, but we hafta. someone came to our lab yesterday.”

That nugget of information froze Rus’s soul. “what?”

“someone in a white coat,” Sans picked at the ragged hem of his shorts moodily. “don’t think she was looking for us, but she was with some others, poking around. they looked like they might be trying to open it again. and if they’re trying to do it in my world, they’ll try it here, you know. that’s how this works.”

It was true. They’d all noticed odd parallels between their worlds past people looking alike and if someone was coming to Sans’s lab...a painful thought occurred and it hurt to think it, of that sweet little baby bones who’d craved hugs being hurt or afraid, but Rus forced out, “do you think that’s what happened to red and edge?”

“i dunno what happened to them, maybe.” Sans blew out a long breath, his finger bones scraping his skull as he rubbed the back of his head agitatedly. “look, you guys weren’t the first worlds i came to. found another one first, another pair like us. those two seemed nice enough. they lived with the queen, took me to see her. but i gave her a hard look, i saw her. i saw her soul was bad.”

Rus looked away. He didn’t like talking about seeing souls. Neither had Red. The way it felt, someone else’s sins crawling up their spine like a bloated spider, ugh. It was horrible and Rus preferred not to, thanks. “she wanted me to stay, see,” Sans went on, doggedly, “wanted me to show them how the machine worked. i said i was gonna, played like it was all dandy. and then i ran back and got the hell out of there. scrambled the coordinates, but they still have a machine. if they figured out how to use it on their own?” He shook his head. “we’ve been using the machine for our own piddly shit, started all this back when we were kids and didn’t know better. but i don’t like to think what could happen if someone else tried it. someone with a little more determination.”

“what are you saying?” Rus whispered. But he already knew.

“come on, let’s be honest.” Sans was always grinning; with his skull structure, he didn’t have much choice. But there was nothing pleasant in the way he smiled now, “we can do that with each other, yeah? d’you trust anyone in your world with the machine? bet the nice cream gal is a real sweetheart, but you really think the old doc was the only bad soul around?”

“but…” He could feel the tears stinging in his sockets. He and Red had never been besties, but Rus found he missed the little asshole more than he’d ever thought he could. Losing Edge hurt even worse, that sweet baby bones, and remembering the last time he’d seen the kid, those thin, strong arms hugging him so tightly. If he’d known, had even an inkling what might happen, he never would’ve let the kid go.

Now Sans was saying he was losing him and Papyrus, too.

“we could move in together—“ but Rus trailed off, already knowing the answer even as Sans shook his head. All of them living in the same world would mean leaving the machine behind for anyone to use. That would kinda miss the point of it all. “fuck it, this sucks!”

Sans looked as miserable as Rus felt, blinking too hard. “i know. and it’s gonna break our bros hearts. but we can’t know what all is on the other side and i’m not sure i wanna wait until they step through to find out. and i definitely don’t wanna leave them for some other white coat to find. we need to shut them down, get them someplace where no one else can use ‘em ever again.”

Everything Sans was saying made sense, no matter how much Rus didn’t want to hear it. Hot resentment welled up, filling Rus’s soul; against the scientist, the machine, even against Sans. This wasn’t fair, none of this, why did they have to be the ones to do this shit? All Rus ever wanted was to be like the other Monster kids he’d seen, playing and getting nice cream, waiting for Gyftmas and a Santa who never managed to find his way to laboratory where little skeletons waited hopefully, thinking maybe this time, maybe they’d been good enough, and never were.

But there was no point to being mad about it, never was. All they’d ever had was each other, and someone had to do it. The same way someone had to clumsily wrap little presents for all the baby bones because if Santa couldn’t be bothered to show up, then a trio of big brothers weren’t about to let their little bros be disappointed again.

Someone had to and much as Rus hated to admit it, Sans was right.

“how can we move the machines?” Rus swiped at his damp sockets with his sleeve impatiently, “not like we can piggyback it around like we do our bros.”

“that’s another idea i got. follow me, i wanna show you something.”

Rus scrambled back to his feet, almost on Sans’s heels as they went out the door. But something felt odd as they walked through, a wavering of some sort and when Rus blinked, they weren’t in the hallway. They were standing outside the lab where the sweltering heat of Hotland was already making them sweat.

“how did you—“ Rus whirled around, blinking hard, but the scenery didn’t change. They were outside somehow and Sans’s grin was showing a little more humor.

“neat, huh? that’s why i said we needed to talk, cause if i can do it, i bet you can. and it’s not just monsters i can move, i can take things, too. maybe with a lil’ more practice…” He trailed off meaningfully.

“yeah, i get you, but i still don’t get how. or why.”

Sans could only shrug. “ain’t like we can ask. if i was gonna guess, i’d say he was hedging his bets that if the machine didn’t work, we’d be a different way through the barrier.” That grin twisted sourly. “shame none of his shit worked the way it's supposed to.”

Wasn’t a shame at all in Rus’s opinion. The real shame was the use they’d found for the machine was about to get dumped like so much trash. But when he thought of that other world Sans described, thought of Monsters coming through with bad souls filled with LV. Like the world Red was from.

Yeah, no. That wasn’t happening.

“show me how,” Rus said and Sans did.

It was exhausting and painful at first, worse even than the machine. He’d step out from a shortcut chilled to his marrow and it would be hours before his shivering stopped.

But it was easy, right within reach, and soon he was good at it, too good, good enough to take other people and things with him, and when he learned about the sentry job opening in Snowdin, he knew it was time.

After that, they’d only needed to say goodbye.

~~*~~

Rus stared up at the ceiling as he finished his cigarette, quietly consumed by memory.

Damn, but that was a long time ago now. It’d been what, fourteen, fifteen years? Their faces were reduced to blurred smears in his mind, maybe he needed to have a look of his own in Blue’s scrapbook tonight.

But even if the faces weren’t clear, he remembered Papyrus’s exuberance, his laughter. He remembered little Edge’s shy sweetness, the precious giggles from the kid who was so determined to marry him someday. Red and Sans, so like him and yet not, big bros determined to protect the baby bones.

So long ago but it still felt like there was gap in his soul where they’d all been once.

Rus snorted and smashed out his butt. Why was he thinking about them, anyway? Today wasn’t some kind of fucked up anniversary or anything. It was just another day in the Underground, another day, another G, and tonight it would be the same as any other. Watching Napstaton on the television he’d scrounged from the dump, choking down his brother’s less than appetizing version of tacos and secretly eating over at Muffet’s on the sly. Write another post-it to put by his sock for Blue to howl about tomorrow, and maybe head out for a drink, maybe even something else depending on who was there.

Nothing happened in Underswap, nothing changed.

So why the hell did he feel so agitated?

A niggling idea occurred, shaken loose by his nostalgia. Might be that there was a little something something he needed to check on, a thing he hadn’t looked at in years. He still had a little time before he had to get to his sentry post and it wasn’t like it took him longer than a minute to get there, anyway. He had the time, but the place he was heading wasn’t one he liked to shortcut into.

Rus pulled on a pair of shorts and a hoodie, scrounged from the pile of ‘not too stanky to wear again’ clothes and headed downstairs to shove his feet into his untied shoes. He lit another cigarette while he walked around back, standing uncomfortably by a door he rarely opened and Blue never seemed to notice. That was something right there, wasn’t it, that his little bro didn’t even see this door. Hard for Rus to figure out what that meant, and he wasn’t much one for puzzles or mysteries, anyway. Knock knock jokes, that was his gig and he wanted to keep it that way.

So why was he here, then, unlocking the door and pushing it open, all creaking and wheezy like a fucking late-night Halloween Special.

The lights still worked, thank the stars, or Rus might’ve said fuck it and headed off for his morning nap sentry duty after all.

Down in the cold basement, the machine sat hulking in the corner where Rus had dumped it after a painfully exhausting shortcut and there was a memory Rus could do without. Laying quivering on the dirty floor, close to vomiting from the burnt dregs of magic in the back of his throat along with bitter satisfaction and tears.

It was covered in a heavy cloth that was dusty and untouched. Useless. The machine didn’t have any power, cut off and starved to keep away any of the other Universes.

But Rus still shivered from something other than the cold. That feeling was still there, the same sensation he remembered as a kid. Like it wanted to be used.

“stop it,” Rus said aloud. Stupid. Like anyone was here to hear it? But his soul was crawling, a prickly sensation tiptoeing up his spine. He was alone, but it felt like something was here, a presence.

Rus wasn’t afraid of ghosts, knew a couple personally. This wasn’t a ghost and he couldn’t tell if it was malevolent or kind, only that it was there. And it wanted something from him.

“knock it off. i’m not listening,” Rus said, but it was a lie. He was listening to the throb in his head, the faint hiss like white noise echoing. Thin panic was starting to rise and he’d had enough of being here on his own. Let the machine crumble to dust, he was out of here.

He ignored the creepflesh feeling in his soul; he wanted out of here now and he reached out for a shortcut, the same way he had since he’d learned how and a thousand times since.

But the moment he stepped into it, he knew something was wrong. Colder than it’d ever been and it wasn’t gone in an instant as it should be. The dark/not dark lingered, his vision rattled, shaken in a psychedelic kaleidoscope. It hurt like his very molecules were being squeezed in an vice.

All together it only lasted an instant, but when Rus could see again, he was blinking through tears, staring uncomprehendingly at what was in front of him.

That…was not his sentry post. His shortcut should’ve plopped him right into his chair where he’d been a hundred times before, ready to sink down with his head on his arms and nap away the morning. This was wrong.

The trees were wrong, the sentry station, the snow, even the fucking light, everything was wrong, the world tilted to the side and off.

He felt like he’d walked through a door and ended up someplace else, which yeah, that was what a shortcut was, but this was a grotesque parody of where he was supposed to be.

This sentry post looked like a fucking fortress, crisscrossed with razor wire and there were bars in the windowed section. Warnings were graffitied on it in garish paint and what the fuck was a LV hunter? Not something Rus wanted to meet, that much he knew.

Rus stepped backwards and away, the sharp taste of fear heavy on the back of tongue. He was already reaching automatically for another shortcut, felt that unnatural cold in his grasp a split second before unexpected pain broke his focus. Rus yelped as he fell, hot agony zigzagging up his leg as a bone in his ankle snapped when he hit the ground.

The snow was as cold as the void, maybe colder, seeping wetly through his clothes. Painfully, Rus managed to roll over only to stare downward in disbelief. There was a trap around his foot, winding up his leg like a cruel vine. Nothing like the childish games his brother designed. This was a fucking snare made of barbed wire and springs that dug dusty gouges into his bones, and he was caught but good in it. He tried to kick it loose and had to stifle another scream, dull agony flaring sickeningly from his broken ankle.

Fuck, what was going on, what? Something was wrong, this whole place was wrong, not his shabby little cardboard post with the rickety chair he’d scrounged from the dump. This was someplace else, someplace terrible.

Through the haze of pain, Rus could hear the distant baying of dogs.

~~*~~

TBC

#spicyhoney #papcest #keelywolfe #underfell #underswap #underfell papyrus #underswap papyrus #underswap sans #underfell sans #undertale papyrus #undertale sans #baby bones #terms of engagement

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specialmindz · 5 years

Photo

“LOOK SNAS! Weaves.” Papyrus held out his gloves to show his brother the handful of wet leaves he had picked off the ground, wearing a big smile…though it was a tad TOO big for Sans liking…

“yep, those are leaves all right...you’re not gonna eat those are ya’?”

“Course’ not stink head,” said the baby bones, slightly insulted. “Unlike you big Buther, I knows the difference between clothes and food. You think the baby be stupid?”

“i don’t eat trees and those aren’t clothes. trees don’t wear leaves to stay warm, otherwise they wouldn’t be on the ground come winter.”

“They’re hats Snas, and hats are clothes. Twees doesn’t wear them during winter cause’ they all worn out,” Papyrus picked up a leaf. “See dis leaf? It gots holes in it. Not good. They needs new hats.”

“no they don’t, the leaves collect sunlight for them so they can get energy, pappy. There’s holes in them because insects are eating them.”

Apparently, he thinks I’M stupid…

“Not erybody a twee-eating woah-bot Snas…sides’ we’s underground silly bones!”

“i’m not-”

“And the sun don’t go out in winter! Nyeh heh heh!”

Sans gave his brother a look, but stayed silent. He knew full well that his younger sibling was just waiting for him to argue so he could start some kind of drama and he wasn’t going to give the infant the satisfaction. Papyrus knew about the sun lamps that hung from the mountain ceiling and if he wanted to pick a fight about something that stupid, he was going to have to try a little harder than that.

I wish he’d put his energy to good use…I know he’s just a baby, but he’s smart right? He could do some real good for the Underground if he’d just try. Why does he wanna act stupid and annoy people all the time?

“We should be good baes and get the twees some new hats before someone cut them down,” said Papyrus, pulling Sans out of his thoughts. “They moves real slow ya’ know? Like Charlie. I bet Dirt-Butt knows where the hat store be! Is probably in one of those tunnels…a kiosk if baby had to guess.”

Oh yeah, Flowey! I forgot about him, he hasn’t visited us in a while.

Maybe Papyrus ISN’T trying to start a fight after all…maybe he thinks since Flowey’s a monster, ALL plants are monsters…they just can’t talk like he can.

Still feels like he’s messing with me though, why call the leaves hats instead of hair? They grow on top of the trees like hair and hair falls out and I even heard it gets damaged…

An image of Undyne arguing with her mother flashed through his mind. She got in trouble often because she wouldn’t put her hair up before swimming and usually ended up with leaves and other grasses Sans wasn’t familiar with tangled in her bright red locks.

One day she might make a habit of putting it in a ponytail of some sort, but for now, her hair was too short for her to care too much. She was never one to care about her physical appearance; if it wasn’t slowing her down in the water or getting caught on stuff, Undyne simply didn’t and wouldn’t care no matter how much her mother screamed at her.

I’m glad I don’t have hair. As pretty as it is, it looks hard to take care of.

Where is Undyne anyway? She was supposed to meet us here…

“SNAS!”

“huh?” Sans stopped daydreaming and looked down to find a very annoyed baby bones glaring up at him. Apparently, he had missed a question…that, or an entire conversation.

“uh, sorry. what’s a kiosk?”

“*Sigh* Is a tiny shop dat sells tiny things,” replied the baby holding his fingers close together. “I was talkin’ bout’ how there might be one that sells hats for da’ twees in one of those tunnels.”

“you mean the dog tunnels?”

“Yep! Is a good hiding pace cause’ lossa peoples think branches are the twee’s arms, but is really their roots. They use them to walk and grab stuffs from underground like Dirt-Butt, but you probly already knowed that. Hippie’s be one wit da’ nature! You’s keeping the twee store a secret right? Cause’ is illegal? You help the twees a widdle and they give you a munch on da’ side?”

“what the hell are you talking about papyrus?” asked Sans completely lost.

“You’s leading peoples astray wit yo’ cwazy talk about twees having solar powers so that no one will cut them down and in return, they let you eat their hats.”

Oh good, it’s another one of his conspiracy theories. Those don’t get old at all.

“the only one talkin’ crazy here is you baby bro. i don’t know how dad made you, but something went very wrong.”

“Nope, I’s right all right. You just gots da’ trust issues. You think I’s gonna tell erybody about the store, so you’s lying with the deceit!” exclaimed the baby pointing his finger at his brother accusingly. “Don’t know why you think baby would do dat, I’s always been nice to you and I’s ALWAYS honest, but-”

“bullcrap you’re honest! ain’t nothing ‘honest’ about you!”

“If daz what you think, then your memory be worse then the baby’s!”

“n-”

“You should go ask Daddy to fix yo’ memory brain big Buther.”

Okay he DOES want to start a fight.

“my memory’s fine and you know it. you lie about everything. you told me the mountain was made out of dinosaur poop!”

“It is!”

“it’s not.”

“Is too! Daz why all mountains are big and pointy and stuffs grow on them. Is cause’ doody be good fer-ti-lizer. Dis mountain don’t smell no more cause’ is been a gazillion years is all…”

“you’re so full of crap.”

“Nuh uh, ask the baby bear dat lives here, he know! He tell me humans climb doody mountains like dis allll the time looking for bears, so they can injects em’ with stuff dat turns them into candies.”

“i doubt he even knows you.”

“He do, he know me and he tell da’ baby dat the serum stuffs make all their fur fall out and turns their bodies into gummies. It shrink them too Snas! Like, reeeal small, till’ they can fits in yo’ hand. Humans call the candies Gummy Bears and they puts em’ on their nice cream.”

“gummy bears huh? shame. that’s not a very creative name pap, and you were telling such a great lie too.”

“I’s NOT lying! I gots poof, see?” Papyrus pulled a bag of…something, out of his jacket and held it up proudly. “It say ‘Gummy Bears’ and inside be widdle dead bears that got caught stealing pic-i-nic baskets. Dis what bears get for stealing big Buther…they doesn’t go to jail cause’ they strong enough to bend da’ bars.”

“eww! put that down papyrus, it’s dripping!”

“NO! These MY gummies! Go find yo’ own Snas!”

SCRUF SCRUF SCRUF SCRUF!

Papyrus ran through the snow as best a baby bones could in a vain attempt to protect his gummies from his hungry hippo brother, but the snow was FAR too deep for such a tiny thing like him he realized, as he noticed Sans walking beside him nonchalantly with his hands in his pockets.

Fine then, Plan B.

Rolling onto his back, he began kicking in the air, holding onto his bag of candy protectively. “If you think taking candies from dis baby gonna be easy, we’ll see what you think after yo’ teeths go missing, NYEH!”

“you’re gonna get sick bro.”

“I PUT YOU IN DA’ MEDICAL WING FIRST! You weave mah gummies alone stink buther, YOU GOTS YOUR HATS!”

Teleporting behind his sibling, Sans grabbed the bag with the shrieking baby bones still attached. He didn’t know HOW Papyrus had managed to eat so many things from the Dump without getting sick, but the comedian’s paranoia was starting to get to him. Monsters that couldn’t handle the poisonous fumes from the volcano in Hotland were dropping like flies and being sent to their Medical Ward in the lab, never to return; in fact, NO sick monsters were returning from the Medical Ward, despite some of their illnesses not being all that serious.

It’s because we’re so low on magic crystals.

The medicines we use are made from plants that need sun lamps like these to live, but without the crystals to provide the electricity...

“…i hope WE don’t get sick…”

Papyrus stopped screaming for a second. “Nyeh?”

Uh oh, what was Sans thinking about NOW? Obviously, his mind was no longer on the bag of Gummy Bears…or on how cruel he was being, taking candies away from cute little skelly babies such as himself.

He seemed to be fixated on the sun lamps above them, glowing dimly, definitely not as bright as last month. Papyrus didn’t really know how the lamps worked, or at least he didn’t remember anyway, but he knew why they were dim. They had to turn the power down to conserve what little energy they had left.

“Why you worried bout’ the fake suns Snas? You still gots da’ fake sparklies in Waterfall…”

“*sigh* you…you don’t understand bro. the plants we use…they need these lights to live. if they go out, we won’t have any more medicine or even foo-”

Oh shit.

“GASP! NO FOOD?!”

“papyrus.”

Aw crap, I shouldn’t have said anything.

“BUT YOU NEEDS FOOD!” exclaimed Papyrus, dropping to the ground and putting his hands to his cheekbones. “WHAT YOU GONNA DO IF THERE NO PLANTS FOR YOU TO MUNCH HIPPIE WOAH-BOT BABY? YOU CAN’T WIVE OFF MILK LIKE I DOS!”

“you don’t live off milk, i’ve seen you eat other…you were just trying to eat this garbage!”

“Don’t worry Snas! We gonna go find Dirt-Butt and get him to tell the twees the sit-u-ation-”

“I DON’T EAT TREES!”

“We gonna get him to tell the twees in their language that times have changed. Like an old diaper, IS TIME TO DO AWAY WITH PAST TRADITIONS AND WELCOME DA’ NEW!”

“what the hell are you talking about?”

“NO LONGER SHALL THEY LIVE THEIR WIVES AS NUDISTS!” cried Papyrus, pumping his fist into the air.

“the hell do you know what a nudist is? we don’t watch videos like that!”

“NO LONGER SHALL THEY ACCEPT BEING TREATED LIKE SECOND CLASS PEOPLES AND DEPEND ON OUR FAKE SUNS FOR WARMTH!”

“iii don’t think you understand how trees OR sun lamps work baby bro…”

“THEY SHALL FIGHT FOR THEIR INNAPENDENCE! Tell em’ Dirt-Butt.”

“WE SHALL FIGHT FOR OUR INDEPENDENCE!”

“NO, no one’s fighting ANYONE, and get outta here flowey! where’d you even come from?!”

Poking his head out from behind a tree, Flowey leapt up onto a nearby stump and began his trademark wiggling dance, equipped with a smile. “I heard the brat say my name a couple minutes ago. Usually, that means something terrible is about to befall me in the near future, so I thought I’d stick around and learn what that something was beforehand, so as to avoid any trauma…wasn’t aware this was a pep rally though.”

“it’s not. like i said, no one’s fighting anybody, pap’s just being dumb.”

“YOU DUMB! They are gonna fight Snas! monsters be cutting power from the high lamps so big peoples can have their coffee, and they cuts twees down for firewood if their hats not pretty enough! DIRT-BUTT’S PEOPLE BE OPPRESSED!”

“YEAH SMILEY, MY PEOPLE ARE OPPRESSED!”

“THEY WANTS EQUAL RIGHTS!”

“WE WANT VENGENCE!”

“THEY WANTS RESPECT!”

“WE WANT BLOOD!”

“THEY WANTS A BRIGHTER FOOTURE FOR THEIR BABIES!”

“WE WANT A NEW WORLD ORDER!”

“you two are NOT on the same page.”

“DOWN WIT DA’ RACIST MONSTERS AND THEIR RACIST WAYS! VIVA REVOLUTION!”

“viva-what…?”

“GENOCIDE GENOCIDE!!”

RUSTLE!

“Hm?” Flowey turned his head towards a tree that had yet to lose most of its leaves upon hearing something rustling within. Squinting his eyes didn’t do him a bit of good in finding out just who the shadowy figure lurking amongst the branches was, but the text that appeared when they spoke…and the voice that accompanied it, were all the hints he needed to get him rolling them in IMMEDIATE annoyance.

“GET THE HELL OFF ME PEDO-TREE! LET GO OF MY HAIR!”

Oh good, it’s Fish Breath. I was waiting for someone to ruin my day…

“Nyeh? Where you going Dirt-Butt?”

“GODDAMNIT!”

“Yeaah, I forgot, the trees and I juust passed this new law that says no hanging out with dorks…sucks huh?”

“…”

“Oh don’t you two look at me like that! You know I voted against it, but we plants run a democracy sooo…duces dorks! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

And with that, Flowey vanished into the ground just as Undyne came tumbling down the tree.

“OOF!”

“undyne!” Sans dropped the bag of gummies and ran over to help her up. “don’t touch that bag bro! undyne, are you alright?”

“Ow…STUPID TREE! YOU’RE LUCKY ALL THESE HATS BROKE MY FALL OR I’D KICK YOUR ASS!”

Sans stopped.

“Um, hello? Aren’t you gonna help me up? I’M A LADY DAMNIT!”

“*Mamph* I’ll helps you *gulp* Fish Lady!”

“I’m just kidding Papyrus, I’m okay, I’m fi-no…no Papyrus, don’t-don’t touch me, go. Go. Over. There. Go to your brother.”

“You wants some of these candies? They’re good…”

“No, they smell gross and they’re dripping with gay water,” said Undyne, pushing Papyrus towards Sans.

“Is okay! I heard-ed somewhere that the rainbow water only affects froggets…”

“pappy-”

“Why? Because they’re water monsters? Well so am I, so I can’t eat stuff from the Dump.” She looked around the wooded area. “Where’s that one guy that was shouting about homicide? I know there was someone else here!”

Did he climb up a tree like I did?

“genocide, not homicide. Flowey left awhile ago. As soon as you fell out of that tree as a matter of fact…why WHERE you up there anyway?”

“I was on a stakeout, looking for that one kid that likes to get mad at people when they don’t find him funny. Snowdrake or whatever his name is.” She scanned the area again with her one good eye; there was DEFINITELY someone else here before. She wouldn’t mistake an annoying high-pitched voice like that for Sans or even Papyrus.

Where could they have gone so quickly?

“what, snowdrake? why?! snowdrake isn’t a criminal! he gets mad when people don’t like his puns, but he doesn’t ATTACK people!”

Often…

Undyne glared at him, but Sans refused to back down. Snowdrake was one of the few people he HOPED he could become friends with in time. He didn’t seem to care about how dangerous his little brother was, only that Sans enjoyed his jokes. Apparently, his father was a comedian and had been for several years, but the two didn’t get along because of one singular problem Snowdrake had. He didn’t understand comedy. He enjoyed puns like Sans, but he couldn’t seem to grasp the concept of what they were for and he often got angry whenever people didn’t find him funny.

To be honest, his temper tantrums were an embarrassment to Sans, but he hoped in time he’d grow out of it, and he damn sure wasn’t going to ruin everything by ratting him out to Undyne so she could play hero…

“HE’S DISTURBING THE PEACE SANS! HE’S DISTURBING THE PEACE OF OUR PEACEFUL COMMUNITY AND MUST BE BROUGHT TO JUSTICE! Though it sounds like I found an even BIGGER problem in our community…”

“a bigger problem?”

“A poacher of endangered monsters! Where did this genie-killer go Sans? YOU HAVE TO TELL ME OR YOU’RE AN ACCOMPLICE!”

The Font stared at her for a moment, torn between being relieved that her attention had been drawn elsewhere and being annoyed with having to once again deal with another big plate of stupid so early in the morning. “what genie-killer? genies don’t even exist. i said GENO-cide, not genie-cide. you heard wrong.”

“I don’t think so. Another name for genies is ‘djinn’ and it’s pronounced the same way. I’m not stupid Sans! I don’t read nerd books, but I study the law and stuff! GEN-ocide or DJINN-ocide, however you want to spell it, is the murder of GENIES-”

“no.”

“And genies are a rare breed of ghost monster that possess an object and come out only to grant wishes-”

“no.”

This is a VERY big plate of stupid.

“THAT’S why poachers are after them. If bad people make bad wishes, it could destroy the world, so they hunt them down. Your friend might THINK he’s doing everyone a favor, but he’s still a murderer if he kills one-”

“genies do not exist.”

“*Nom* Nowheres but the Middle East anyways.”

“…”

“…what?”

Papyrus reached into his bag. “The word ‘djinn’ is Arabic. That mean genies come from da’ Middle East…dat’s where Egypt be big Buther. Is in da’ middle of the earth…but also a widdle east,” he popped a gummy into his mouth. “I doesn’t know if they come from Saudi Arabia or Iraq, but they definitely not live here. They be used to desert environments ya’ know? It be too cold in da’ Massachusetts.”

“How did you spell that…?”

“the only word i recognize there is ‘egypt.’ that…place you keep talking about.”

“Well maybe if you read-ed books about our panet instead of about sparklies all the time, you’d know somethin’.”

“we don’t HAVE books like that.”

Not even in the library. Everyone left for Mt. Ebott at such short notice, they just brought what they had on them. Most of the books come from what the kids had in their backpacks when they…

Wait a minute…

“Daddy do. He gots allll da’ info on stuffs. He taked all the important books out the library for himself and the baby! He say the bigger I gets, the more memories I lose, so I gots to read lots! He say I can’t let YOU read them though, cause’ you might leave and travel da’ world without me, but I know you not do that. You can read mah books whenever you wants ALL you wants…”

“wait hold on, you have a memory problem?”

This was news to Sans.

Assuming it wasn’t a lie of course.

It was true he hadn’t been paying much attention to Papyrus much to his shame, what with worrying about their future and all, but when he did, he noticed there WERE, in fact, instances where he would question his baby brother’s intellect, or at the very least, his mind.

There was once a time when Sans and paranoia were inseparable. He would question everything his brother said and did, knowing he was the Lying Font, and always assuming Papyrus was messing with him, he would prepare for the worst or simply flat out ignore the baby bones; but things had long since changed. Nowadays, it was difficult to tell whether or not the infant believed his own lies and that made weeding them out in general that much more difficult. His father warned him:

“Papyrus is the king of deceit. As he grows older his lies will become more intricate and deadly."

An intimidating message that seemed less laughable as the months flew by.

He thought it’d be easy…for HIM at least, to tell when his brother was lying, because he spent the most time with him, but the reality was, his sibling was changing right before his eyes and Sans couldn’t decide if he was getting dumber or cleverer. According to his father, the Papyrus fonts were the world’s greatest actors because they were METHOD actors; walking, talking, even thinking like the characters they tried to portray. They were the only people on earth who could pretend to be somebody else for years if not forever without going completely insane, because they had no set personality and weren’t aware that they’re lying not only to everyone around them, but to themselves included…but SANS’ brother had Wingdings, meaning there was enough there…enough personality to have a second font anyway, and that drove the comedian insane.

I know my bro’s a genius; he knows about trees.

DOES he have a memory problem?

Did he forget what leaves are? Or how sun lamps work?

…

Or is he just pretending to be an ordinary baby who doesn’t understand how the WORLD works yet?

He’s lying. He has to be lying. He’s lying right? He’s just pretending to have memory problems so his future lies will seem more innocent. “Oh, I didn’t MEAN to lie when I said the wind on the surface sometimes picked up houses and threw them at people big Brother! I just forgot how wind works cause’ I have memory issues!”

Lying little shit.

…

He’s lying right?

“…for real pap, do you really have memory problems?”

“Yep. I used to know erything a baby needed to know to be big, but now there be things I gots to understand all over again. It suck monkey big Buther…” Papyrus looked sad, but Sans couldn’t tell if it was because he was telling the truth, or because he had run out of those disgusting gummies of his. The infant tilted the bag upside down, spilling the garbage juice within onto the snowy ground near his boots. “All gone…nyeh…”

“ugh…bro…”

Seriously, what’s in that baby formula of his?!

“EWW! WHY’D YOU DO THAT? SANS GET YOUR BROTHER!”

Sighing, he did as he was told. “c’mere pap, let’s go get some real food at grillby’s,” he said, tucking the infant under one arm.

“Gillby’s? Dat stink pace wit da’ frog food? How bout’ no? Put baby down, I eats things at the Dump, not things that BELONG at the Dump.”

“wh-you love hamburgers!”

“Yeah! Hamburgers are GREAT! If you don’t like Grillby’s food, YOU DON’T BELONG IN THIS COUNTRY! Right Sans?”

“I loved em’ good before I knowed they be made of frog…and you doesn’t even know what country we in, so shut it up clown fish with the racism, or Imma tell mah Daddy!”

“YOU’RE A CLOWN FISH, AND I’M NOT SCARED OF YOUR DAD! I’M NOT SCARED OF ANYTHING!!”

“hamburgers aren’t made of frogs bro-”

“What-”

“OR froggets.”

“…They slimy dough…you shouldn’t give slimy stuffs to widdle babies Snas, we gets it in our hairs…”

“it’s not slime-”

“Don’t you care about my hairs…?”

“OH MY GOD! IT’S GREASE, NOT SLIME AND IT’S DELICIOUS!” yelled Undyne hurling a large rock across the woods.

“hey, watch it! you’re gonna hurt somebody!”

“Grease be a movie Fish Lady. I don’t wish to nibble on greased lightning, I’ll gets elly-cuted…electra-cuted. Then Gillby will serve me as da’ baby back ribs and peoples will love it…cept’ they won’t love it cause’ there only be one serving cause’ there only be one me. The customers probly think, ‘why dis one guy get the baby ribs and we don’t? why we not special like him? I not eat here no mores!’ Then Gillby get no more customers and he go out of business…and that will make big Buther sad.”

“…”

“He like the frog food even dough is not healthy for a hippie woah-bot…unless you’s just eating da’ lettuce. You no eat the frog patty Snas? What you do wit dat frog patty?”

“It’s not frog, it’s cow…or magic. Magic cow…? Hey Sans, what are hamburgers made of?”

“it doesn’t matter, he doesn’t care. he just wants your attention-”

“IS MOO-COW? LIKE AZZY’S MOM?”

“Uhh…yeah…?”

Who’s Azzy? He doesn’t go to my daycare…

“Ooooh…still, I doesn’t wish to eat at Gillby’s. I thanks you for the invitation Snas, but I’s trying to get big as in tall, not big as in you.”

“go die in a fire papyrus.”

“Daz rude.”

Deciding on silence, Sans teleported to Grillby’s. Perhaps a burger would keep his baby brother quiet for a while…

…

“HEY SANS YOU JERK! YOU LEFT ME BEHIND!”

SCRUF SCRUF SCRUF SCRUF SCRUF!

“YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO INVITE ME AND PAY FOR MY MEAL, MAMA SAID!!”

Or maybe it wouldn’t be so quiet after all.

#Fonttale #Fonttale au #Undertale #Undertale au #Sans #Papyrus #Undyne #kid sans #baby Papyrus #kid undyne #undertale fanfiction

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sitkowskiryan · 5 years

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secret keepers. neuf.

tyler with the rainbow flag is amazing <3

･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

Halloween was Tyler's favorite holiday for multiple reasons. Not only was it colder now for sweaters, but you could dress up spookily and not look weird. You could also watch horror movies and eat copious amount of candy until your stomach is about to pop!

Tyler also loves the holiday because his school does a little Halloween parade where the children can show off their costumes to the rest of the school. They always got so excited and it made his heart swell in fondness for them. He hoped that their joy for the holiday and life in general would remain for the entire lives.

"Ty look!" Olivia squealed as she bounced into the classroom, Hayley smirking at the teacher before waving as she left. Tyler hushed the little girl softly and grinned down at her. They had tried to explain to her that she couldn't call him Tyler at school, but she was still having trouble with remembering.

"Mr. Joseph, love," he reminded her quietly, bending down to help her take her backpack off and put it in her cubby.

"Look I'm Wenesday! On a Wenesday!" She giggled, bouncing after him happily. Tyler smiled at her, leading her back to the carpet so she could get ready for their morning routine.

"I see, and is daddy Gomez?" He questioned, giggling when she nodded her head in confirmation. Josh had been very adamant that he was not going to be Kristoff and nor was he going to be any sidekick so Olivia had picked her third favorite costume with a pout that didn't last long. Josh had agreed to even dye his hair black so he could match the role better. Though Tyler had feeling that Hayley was going to be dying it again soon.

Tyler himself was wearing a simple skeleton hoodie with matching legging and black vans. He and Josh were going to match, but Olivia wanted to be Wednesday Addams and Josh couldn't say no and who was Tyler to stand in the way of the princess' wishes?

Helping her sit on the carpet, Tyler moved to the front of the class and waited for the bell to ring before he clapped his hands to get their attention.

"Good morning guys! Happy Halloween! You all look so great!"

･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

"Daddy you shoulda seen it! Ty can zip his shirt up and be a real skelly!" Olivia raved, hanging from her father's neck as the elder tried to unlock the door, Tyler unhelpfully giggling to the side. Josh shot him a glare, but finally got the door open and waddled with his daughter hanging from him.

"I know flower, I have one remember?" Josh teased, attempting to place her down, but the girl refused giggling happily into his face. Tyler laughed along with her, reaching over to scoop her off the man before she broke Josh's neck. The elder was dressed in a very stylish pinstriped suit and had grown out his facial hair to match the character of Gomez.

Tyler briefly wondered what it would feel like to have facial hair like Josh's. He had only successfully grown stubble before, outside of other body hair of course, and Josh had a full beard and mustache. The teacher also wondered what it would feel like with Josh's face between his thighs. He shook his head to rid him of the thoughts and bounced the young girl on his hip, listening to her delighted shrieks. Had he not spent all day with five year olds and Olivia outside of school, he'd surely be deaf.

"Candy!" Olivia cheered, attempting to get out of Tyler's hold, but the brunet held her securely. Tyler tutted and moved towards the living room.

"You have to eat actual food first love, and then wait for it to get darker," he explained, not relenting when Olivia struggled in his arms or pouted at him. "What do you want daddy to make for dinner?" He asked after she gave up struggling, slumping in his arms. She mumbled something into his chest and he smiled softly. "What was that love?" He coaxed, rubbing her back gently.

"Nuggets and mac n' cheese," Tyler smiled, swaying his hips slightly to rock the cranky girl to sleep. She didn't sleep at nap time after all, wanting to cuddle with Tyler even though the man was firm that he couldn't hold her like that in front of the others. It would not be right or fair. Josh smiled at his two babies, going over to press a kiss to their heads before going to start on dinner.

･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

"Olivia! Stay with me!" Josh sighed exasperated as he chased after his daughter. It was finally time for trick or treating and Olivia was proving to be over-zealous in her route, leaving Josh's side frequently and having to have the older man chase her down. The teacher stood back with a small remembering how his younger brothers used to be with Halloween and how much his mother had pulled out with three boys running from her.

"Honey," Tyler whispered, "You are gonna tire yourself out. She is fine as long as she is in front of us in eye sight," he tried to reason. They had put reflective tape on her to be able to see her in the dark. Josh sighed softly, nodding in defeated as Olivia ran up to another house without them. Tyler wrapped his arm around the older man and rubbed his side. If the house ahead foretold anything, it would probably scare Olivia to their side soon.

"Just don't want her to not need her daddy too soon," Josh whispered back to Tyler, bending awkwardly to rest his head on Tyler's shoulder. The teacher was only a few inches shorter, but Josh loved it pointing out to him. Tyler ran his fingers through the freshly dyed hair, not at all surprised when they came away inky. He had only just dyed his hair a few days okay and the black seemed to bleed a lot.

"She'll always need daddy, how is she gonna make herself chicken nuggets?" Tyler teased, hugging Josh close to him as the older man snickered and rubbed his stubbly face against Tyler's own. It was a new feeling that Tyler had never felt, but welcomed whole-heartedly.

"Daddy!" Olivia's scream had both of them looking up to see in fact Tyler had been right about the house ahead having jump scares. She crashed into Tyler's side first, hiding her face into his stomach, her other hand clutching onto Josh's pants. The older man carefully picked up his daughter and rocked her gently. Tyler grabbed her bag of candy before anyone else could pick it up and smiled at the sheepish home owner.

"Here," he offered, holding out the basket of candy. He looked guilty, but Tyler assured him that it was all in the fun of the holiday and picked out a piece for Olivia seeing as the girl wasn't leaving Josh's neck anytime soon. Tyler made his way back to his boyfriend and raised an eyebrow in question at Josh.

"Wanna continue rose bud or go home?" Olivia shook her head, but they did not know for what option.

"Love, do you wanna keep going?" Tyler asked softly, his own hand joining Josh's to rub her back. She nodded slowly, sniffling loudly.

"Daddy come too?" She mumbled, looking up at Josh and he nodded his head instantly, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Daddy will always protect you flower," Tyler smiled goofily at his boyfriend, handing him the bag so he could collect the candy for her. Josh carried her for awhile before Tyler got his turn to carry the still scared girl up to houses, many of the owners smiling in sympathy for the girl's fear.

･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

"My daughter is a sack of potatoes," Josh grunted, placing the sleeping Olivia down into bed. He already began moving around to get her changed for bed and Tyler couldn't help, but watch the tenderness that Josh expressed with his daughter. Sure he saw that tender side of Josh too, but it was nothing like how it was when just him and his daughter. "Goodnight sweet flower," Josh whispered, standing up from the bed and jumping when he saw Tyler standing there. He playfully glared and pushed him out of the room.

After quickly checking the candy and hiding it from the five year old ( whilst eating some of it themselves ), the couple retired to bed, Tyler spooned by Josh in the middle of the elder's bed. This had to be the best Halloween yet.

･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

Word Count: 1,436

i'm really happy that this got to come out close to halloween because i really thought it was going to come out like in the middle of november! but i hope you guys like this and let me know because i love comments, even if it is little comments that are "AH JOSH CAN HAVE ME" or anything like that! it makes me smile!

I SAW TWENTY ONE PILOTS LAST NIGHT AND TYLER GRABBED THE RAINBOW FLAG DURING MY FAVORITE SONG AND I AM LIVING MY ABSOLUTE BEST LIFE!

It was amazing and I had so much fun!

that picture isn't mine by the way! i have the whole video of holding onto you because that is my favorite song and the beginning shows him grabbing the flag!

until next time,

stay alive sunshines <3

- courtney

#joshler #josh dun #tyler joseph #twenty one pilots #top #fanfiction #gay fanfiction #secret keeprs #scarycis #writing

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shapeshifting-arch-mage · 6 years

Text

9/22/2018, Part 1

We don't need to take the boat this time! We're a witch! This time, we're flying in on a broom! Y'know, like I did the night before I got crushed to death by 2488? Yeah...We dismount and head to the resort grounds.

"so, wat u wanna do 2day, tem?"

"uuuuuh... cookys?"

"oh yea, cookies! but... were do we start?"

"uhhhh... i dunno..."

There doesn't seem to be anyone else here at the moment. Where would we even start our search for the mysterious cookie salespeople? Actually, speaking of buying and selling things, I just remembered something. And right on cue, Temmie does too. We go into the lobby.

We enter the lobby and assess our situation. Temmie has been missing Baku terribly. To the point where lately she's been writing "ばく" all over my walls in bright, neon colors. Since that is not a healthy way of dealing with this issue, I had suggested to her that we find some other DJs to come and help us throw our own rave party while we wait for Baku to return.

She was hesitant at first, because she didn't think other DJs would be as good as Baku, but I reminded her that since Baku's not here, we don't really have any other option than to settle for the second-best DJs. It's either them, or no DJs at all, so Temmie reluctantly agreed to help me find some other DJs to help us.

So we did! We found a pair of sisters who've been running a radio show ever since, according to them, the old DJ got fired for being too abrasive and rude to the callers. Although the sisters are radio DJs, they have been wanting to host a rave, and they would be happy to give it a shot for us! And we even found a few fellows who'd like to attend! Things are looking up for us, so far!

But perhaps, since we're here, we should buy some things to give out at the party, just in case our partygoers don't have anything to bring, themselves. ...Wasn't there a store here, before?

"were is store?"

We look around. There's the bar, there's the game room, there's the infirmary, where I've crashed for the night more times than I'd like to admit... There's the ballroom- oh, do calm down, Temmie, we're going to the store first, remember? Aaaaaand... no store. Huh... I wonder where the store went? Maybe we should look outside?

"but i wana go do hapy fun raevtiem in dancin' room..."

"ya, i kno, but we gotta buy stuffs so othr peeps can do happy fun ravetime wit' us, rite?"

"oh ya..."

We step out the door and back outside. The store isn't in there. Hmm, where should we look? We could probably get a better view from the beach.

"ooo! beach is gud 4 hapy fun rave-"

"yea, i kno, tem. lets go." We get down on all fours, stretch our legs up, and trot like a horse over to the beach.

We arrive at the beach, retract our front and back legs, and stand back up on our back legs. Huh... I wonder where everyone is? Well, more importantly, we need to find the store.

"is da store on da beach?"

"maybe? i dunno."

We'd better start looking. I don't want to dillydally. Let's see, over there is the... beach bar. I don't think that place sells what we're looking for.

"u sed u met Baku at a bar???"

"yea, i did. not dat one, tho. it was da one in th' resort bilding."

"oh ya?"

"yea, he was drinkin' from a lil', uh... it was a... uh..."

"a bottl?"

"no... it was to small to be a bottle..."

"wat was he drinkin?"

"he sed it was calld "aftershock". id nevr herd of it. i didnt kno dere was a drink called aftershock."

"shock?? does it make u do cool litening magicses like u do, hooman??"

"no, its just a drink."

"aww..."

I don't know exactly what the right word is for the container that Aftershock comes in, so I picture it in my mind so that Temmie can see.

She observes my memories intently...

"o ya, i remembr dat! u showd me wen yu first met him and dat lil short humin was throwin' stuff at him!"

"uh... ya..."

I don't think Coraline and Carrie are entirely human, but more importantly-

"hey hooman?"

"yea?"

"wen yu were lookin for a drink behind da countr..."

"yea? i was just lookin' for water or somethin'."

"ya, but... whyd yu have skelly arms???"

...Oh no.

OH NO.

I was hoping she would never, ever ask that... But I suppose with us sharing a body and having access to each other's memories, it was inevitable... 😔

Although my gloves were covering my hands and forearms, I suppose Temmie must have taken notice of my uncovered... uh... humerus...es. Humeri? I don't know what the plural for humerus is. And even without looking, Temmie could also-

"wate a minit!1!" Temmie cries as she continues to analyze the memory. "u were a skelly! u were a skelly like Baku!?!?! HUHHHHH??!??!"

I quickly clasp our paws over our mouth.

"Temmie, please don't yell!" I think, "I know you must be very confused, because-"

"i thot u wer a humans!1!" Temmie thinks back. "ur supposd 2 be a humanses!1! cuz u gota humin SOUL!1!! skellys dont gots hooman SOULS!!1!"

"Yes, I know... and you're right. They don't. But, as you know, I am a magic user myself, and I was able to use magic to transform into a skeleton monster. However-"

"Whhhhhh??" Temmie's voice is muffled as we yell into our paws.

"h-human... can turn into... monstr??"

"Well, I can. I don't know any other humans that can, but I can do it because I can use shapeshifting magic. The reason I turned into a skeleton monster was to better fit in with the other monsters of the underground, who used to come here and visit a lot."

"but u got a human SOUL??"

"Yes, the transformation only changed my body into that of a monster, not my soul."

"Whh... hwhwhwhwhwh..." Temmie mumbles into our paws. She cannot believe what she is hearing. Or, telepathically receiving, as it were.

And then, just when I thought this line of questioning would be over, she asks...

"does Baku no ur realy a hooman???"

"NO. No, he does NOT."

My reaction startles Temmie, causing us to recoil a bit.

"h-hoomin...?? u... u ok?? u mad at me?? i dont want u to be-"

"No, Temmie, I'm not angry with you. But there's something very, very important that I need to tell you right now."

"...ya?" Temmie clearly isn't convinced that I'm not upset with her.

"It is true that I first met Baku while I was transformed into a skeleton monster, but I have also met him in my normal, human body. He does not know that we are the same person, and I intend to keep it that way. It is absolutely paramount that I prevent him from finding out that the brunette, pigtail-haired human woman, and the skeleton monster wearing the bunny hood, are one and the same."

"...whys dat??"

"It's for my own safety, Temmie. I shudder to think how he would react if he found out that the skeleton monster he met at the bar, and the human who he's hugged, kissed, and fiddled around with the pigtails of, were the exact same individual. Dear lord... he would never let me hear the end of it if he found out..."

We lower our paws from our mouth and sit down. Temmie is seriously worrying about me right now.

"hooman...? do u... not like Baku...?" 😥

"its not that, Temmie. its that im just scared of what hed do if he found out..."

"why u scared of Baku?"

"well... im gonna tell yu somethin' scary he told me."

"w-wa??"

Even though no one else is on the beach at the moment, I decide this is probably something I shouldn't say out loud.

"One time, I asked Baku why he was even called Baku. And he told me..."

"Dreams are my playground, sweetheart. I do with them as I please."

Temmie tilts our head in confusion.

"wats dat mean?"

I move our head back up. "well, a bakus a thing that eats dreams. its got a trunk like an elephant-"

"wats an el-a-fint?"

"uh... its an... never mind. anyway, a bakus a dream eater. da Fresh para-"

😱 ...

😐 ...

"...da funky fresh DJ u no an' love is named after a dream eater."

"...wha??"

"yea, hes named aftr a dream eater. and he told me that dreams are..."

"...play ground?"

"yea..."

Temmie doesn't seem to be picking up where I'm going with this.

#discord #discord rp #temmie #undertale fan character

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saintheartwing · 6 years

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Soft Hands

Dr. W.D Gaster wasn't sure why he told 1-S and 2-P what he did. But one question about humans and monsters led to another, and before he knew it, he was recalling the one time he met a human. The one time his interaction with the species wasn't tainted by blood, war, anxiety or fear. A moment in time he still, to this day, doesn't understand. And wishes that he did...

==========================================

W.D Gaster regretted telling 1-S and 2-P what he had.

1-S had talked about learning how to dodge to his brother, the tubby skeleton speaking quietly and softly to his brother in the cell about how humans fought, and about how their creator had said humans did what they did to monsters for one simple reason...they were stronger, and killing monsters benefited them. It was just kill or be killed. And Subject P had remembered the doctor speaking about the war between monsters and humans.

And so a question had popped out of 2-P's mouth. And it had been a question Gaster remembered asking his ownparents, back when he had been Subject P's age, looking so, SO much like P did now...

"Had humans always been like that?"

"No, not always." Gaster found himself answering automatically. He'd flinched at this, cringing a bit, realizing he had just opened the door to the curious twosome to ask even more questions, 1-S's voice rising out from the cell the two were within. Gaster had to look away from the snazzy metal clipboard he'd been writing on to look at the two as 1-S's short framed-form rose up from off the plain blanket he'd been lying down on.

"Oh really?" 1-S inquired. "So they didn't always want to kill monsters? Does that mean they liked you at some point?"

"Not exa-" Dr. Gaster now looked flustered. He looked away slightly, and Sans knew, he KNEW that look on the doctor's cracked face. The way the lines that ran up from his left and right eye would somehow shake, the faint crease on his features always gave away the fact he had been close to saying something juicy, and his natures were fighting it out. There was the inner scientist in Gaster who so badly WANTED to talk about the strange, almost unknowable creature that was "Man", that wanted P and S to know about everything they were capable of so they could be prepared, be ready...to kill, or be killed, if the need arose. Then there was their captor, who didn't want them to know too much, to know enough to hurt him, to use against him, to...feel.

Some part of S knew that, at one point, Gaster had cared about them.

Perhaps he'd even loved them.

But he had known that if he kept caring, kept loving, he couldn't hurt them. And for "everyone else's sake"...to "do what he had to, what people need me to do"...he had to distance himself. Some part of S knew that.

And despised Gaster for it.

Did Gaster not want to tell them because talking about the time before all this, before monsters and humans had fought, was a time that belonged to a different Gaster? A softer, kinder one? That if he talked too much about them, admitted to him, he might start to feel again? To care again? Subject S knew Gaster had lost friends and family, that much he'd picked up on from their talks about the war, as did P. Was Gaster just determined to talk about that life as little as possible so he wouldn't have to remind himself of what it meant to feel for others?

Or maybe he just didn't want to talk because...yes, maybe that was it.

Gaster was a coward. S knew this. Gaster had almost screamed at Subject P when P had tried to say that maybe it wasn't Gaster's fault his kind had died off so horribly the way they had in the war. That Gaster, being so young, couldn't have done anything to fight the humans off, that if was on THEM for fighting and killing to begin with, and Gaster couldn't cope with that, having blamed himself for so long.

Perhaps he just didn't want to feel like a coward again.

"...I don't think you could understand." Gaster muttered out.

"Well...try us!" P insisted. "Did the humans ever live together with monsters?"

Gaster actually chuckled dryly at this. "Live together"? A bit of a stretch." He sighed, and for a moment, his tone became wistful. Softer.

"In the old days, the large towns and cities of our realms had dividing lines of territory. On those lines, there were other towns and cities, mutually shared by monsters. Nobody was really "living together". Though they may have passed each other on the street, or bought from the same market or shops, visited the same smiths and book stores and stood under the same rain and the same clouds...no. They didn't live together. Not in public at any rate. Such an idea would be...unthinkable. After all, monsters were...well...monsters." Gaster chuckled again, shaking his head.

"Creepy or terrifying or strange. What people do not know, they often fear. Then again, there is also some who have an attraction to the unknown, and sometimes they saw...creatures they could warm up to in us."

"Like what?" S wanted to know. Now he was intrigued. Gaster's scientist side had won over. The need to explain, to talk about all he knew, to share his knowledge had won over the fear of dredging up old wounds and the worry of "am I telling them too much". He was an eager teacher who'd just needed a little push.

"Well, the Temmie race, of course. They were furry, adorable, and they had a very...charmingly quaint way of speaking." Gaster sighed, adjusting the glasses he wore atop his bony, skeletal head. "You might have seen a picture of them on that "Tem Flakes" box you got when you got into my office." He added.

"Ohhh, THOSE things!" P's eyes were going all starry, a beaming expression on his face. "They are so, so cuuute! The little tails, and the floppy ears and the tiny little noses!"

"Yes, humans found them similar to "cats". I suppose humans have more...mercy in them for creatures that are cute and cuddly and similar to creatures they keep as pets. If a monster was small and adorable and young, a human tended to be more...sympathetic. A matter of simple "herd instinct", I imagine." Dr. Gaster said as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Young life tends to make humans go all...cuddly." He remarked.

It was true. He'd seen it in quite a lot of the animes and cartoons that his dear friend Alphys had shown him. Whenever a baby or a puppy or a kitten or small animal was on the screen, they were always being fawned over. Had he been able to keep 1-S and 2-P from aging, maybe he could have snuck them across the barrier as hidden adorable weapons that no human would ever suspect of being a threat. After all, something so tiny and soft who could barely fit your finger in their hand would melt the heart of just about anyone. You'd NEVER hit an infant.

"And there were some humans who had an attraction to a few of the monsters that were more...human in appearance? Some monsters had very human traits, like a humanoid upper or lower body. In fact, the melusine, or "merpeople" race had charmed over quite a lot of humans."

"Mer-whuh?" 1-S wanted to know. "Who're they?"

"They look rather much like fishy people. Sailors had often told of the majesty of the mermaids, and it wasn't uncommon at all to see people tilting their heads to watch these fine specimens walking down the road." Gaster chuckled as he took off his glasses, cleaning them with a napkin from his pocket. "Their hair would be a beautiful crimson or scarlet, so many shades of red, with scales that had such a fascinating blend of blue. The way the sun would gleam off their scaly bodies was a thing of beauty indeed. An exotic beauty that would entrance many a human. Sometimes they even fell in love. That's where the legend of "The Little Mermaid" came from. I used to love reading that story." He added, trailing off.

Oh yes, he used to love reading it. The mermaid had given up so much to be with the human, and for a while, the human prince had loved her too. And it had seemed, at first, that they WOULD be together. Yes, getting there had hurt the mermaid greatly. Hurt the monster greatly. But they were in love, and happy...

And then that had changed when the prince had married the human princess instead, believing the princess, not the mermaid, had saved his life those years ago.

Back then, he'd tried to take some comfort in the knowledge that the little mermaid, though she had died, had gained an immortal soul, and had become a beautiful spirit who'd one day rise up into the "Kingdom of God". That at least she'd not turned to nothing but seafoam, and had gotten a chance at an even greater happiness. Yet looking back at it...he felt angry that she'd STILL, after all she'd endured, have to do good deeds for humans for 3 centuries.

Hadn't she suffered enough?

"Did you ever meet any...nice humans?" 2-P asked. "Were there any where you lived?"

Gaster then flinched a bit, and 1-S could tell from the look on his face that yes. Yes, he HAD met nice humans. But even that hadn't been good.

"...I remember one in particular." Gaster finally said.

He'd been racing down the street, carrying several library books, intent on returning them. He didn't want to get in trouble, after all. He'd had on his usual overlong, grey and dark grey sweater, the adorable red scarf, the big glasses, too huge for his face. Panting heavily, he'd been tearing down the cobblestone road of the town, sandal-clad feet somewhat slipping about. "OOOF! C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!" He murmured, the books bouncing about in his arms. He had to get there in 9 minutes or it'd be closed and he'd have to pay a fine!

The sunlight was piercing through patches of clouds above, the humans in this section of town giving him the occasional look. Some found him a little cute, no doubt, since he was a "baby bones", a child skelly. Others found it unsettling, freakish, muttering the curse "revenant" under their breath, for they, like many, believed that skeleton monsters came from dead humans. An idea that did have some merit, for the only other way for skeleton monsters to be made came from cutting out pieces of their own body to create more, and since normal monsters didn't HAVE skeletons, well...where hadthe first skeleton monsters arisen from? And others still just...didn't care. They had their own troubles and were busy with other things clouding their mind like the skies above were clouding up.

And that was when he rounded the corner, just a few dozen feet from the library...and smacked headlong into a human.

"OUCH!" They collapsed onto the sidewalk below, people nearby stopping. Some looked concerned for both, others only worried about the human, a few particularly unpleasant people sniggering as the human girl Gaster had ran into moaned. "Heyyy!" She said, adjusting the thick glasses that she wore. "Watch where you're going!" She told him in an aggravated voice, Gaster blushing nervously, their books all sprayed out around them. "You made me drop my library books!"

"S-Sorry, sorry!" Gaster apologized as he began scrambling to pick them all up so he could give hers back and pluck his own up. Best to take care of hers first...he didn't want people to think he was inconsiderate. "H-Here, I'll...I'll pick them up for you!"

"Can't you be more careful, I mean...really..." The human girl muttered. She was wearing a shirt that was purplish in color, with scraggly pants. Based on her slightly holey shoes, the somewhat cloudy glasses, and the frizzled, rather spiky mess of brown hair she had atop her head, she wasn't very well-to-do. She pushed the glasses up a bit on her somewhat sharp nose, her thick eyebrows raised a little as she reached down to pluck up one of her own books.

And as she did so, her hand touched his as he reached for the same.

Absolute silence reigned. Gaster nervously gulped, for he realized she was now slightly gripping his bony hand, and she was staring right into his eyes. Eyes so very teal in color, so...soft. Her mouth was slightly agape, people murmuring and whispering as Gaster stared back, confused by the expression on her face.

"What is it?" He asked. "Your, um...your hand is...on mine...could you-" He began to say.

"Your HAND." She whispered out.

"Yes?"

"It's...fuzzy. It's so...soft." She murmured, looking down at it, lifting it up, feeling over it with her own hands, her eyes getting wider. "Like...it's like the hair on a comfrey leaf." She muttered out. "I thought it would be hard and bony but...its so fuzzy. It's...nice."

She held his hand, looking at it for a long time, then at him. He stared back into her, and as she held it there, the other humans looking at each other, confused, a bit surprised, Gaster thought he saw the girl crying, and trying to hold it back in her eyes. She let his hand go, picking up the last of her books and quickly walked away, leaving Gaster's books in a small pile right in front of him.

He would never see her again, but he would remember how she'd held his hand. How she'd felt over the soft texture of his bones. How surprised she'd been to feel it, and he remembered how...oddly warm and soft human hands could be.

Hands.

...why had she cared so much that his hands were so...soft?

He just didn't understand humans sometimes.

"Humans are just...strange." He finally said. "Years of study and even I barely know anything. And honestly, sometimes...I don't think THEY know anything about themselves."

With that, he left them alone, heading back to his office, putting his hands in the pockets of his white labcoat, softly feeling over the textures of his own palm...

And the tiny, tiny little hairs they had.

Author’s Note:

There's been plenty of stories showing the crueler and more sadistic side of Gaster from Zarla's "Handplates" tales. I wanted this story to show a more...introspective side of him, and a peek into his younger life. Since Zarla tries to make the interactions with monsters and humans more realistic I thought I'd show a more realistic reaction, a realistic moment in time.

Life is made up of little moments like this. Whether the human actually had her mind changed about monsters or not, well...that wasn't really the focus. I really just wanted to try and capture a piece of time, a mood, a fleeting part of Gaster's life where, for the tiniest moment, two hands both reached into the expanse of a beautiful and magical world.

But if you want to know whether I think the human DID change her mind, well...those who've read my previous work maaaay recognize how...familiar the human's description seems.

#zarla #zarla-s #handplates #undertale #gaster #wd gaster #papyrus #sans #fanfiction

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zacknano17 · 6 years

Text

Day 12: words 22,087 - 24,109

In which, Kravitz attempts (and is thwarted in having) a flashy entrance.

He waits a few minutes before following them down, and it's immediately clear that, whatever their play for this artifact, the basement is not where Wedding Wonders normally takes their clientele. The walls and floor are cement and the light is decent but not terribly bright. The ceiling is unfinished, bare wooden rafters visible, and the walls are uncovered fantasy drywall.

The basement is separated into a few room, each closed off with another piece of drywall that doesn't quite reach the ceiling. There are hints of necromancy in the air here, but he can't detect anything truly evil. He listens for where the others are and pokes around into the corners of the basement where they aren't, but they only seem to use this area for storage and the like.

The voices in the adjoining room, where Kravitz is avoiding for the moment, begin to rise in pitch. Interesting. He decides this might be worth having a look. There's a chance, as always, that the man he is disguised as will be in the next room, but that can be easily fixed. That room is the only room he hasn't tried yet, and if those particular three adventurers are in there, it's probably a good bet that whatever he is looking for is in there.

He drops his glamor, allowing his body to take the form of the Grim Reaper he truly is. His cowl sways in some other dimensional breeze, and his skeletal fingers clutch his deadly scythe. His being is corporeal, but only barely, and he does not walk as much as he glides, his legs and feet obscured by the black fog of his magical essence.

He opens the door and enters the room.

The entrance is a good one. Everyone turns toward him -- or rather, everyone who is capable of doing anything. There are...many things wrong in this room, but he can't even get a handle on the entire situation before his badass entrance is entirely ruined.

“Hey, it's Kravitz!” Magnus says.

“Hey, bud! How are things on the Astral Plane?” Merle asks. “Any more problems with giant skellies?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Kravitz groans.

“What?” Magnus says.

“I was -- listen. When you work this job, there's an important factor called intimidation, and it sort of buggers it up a bit for me when you just point in my face, completely nonchalantly, and say, 'Hey, it's Kravitz!'”

“I was just happy to see you,” Magnus pouts.

“Exactly what is going on?” the orc demands.

Kravitz sighs. “I am what you might call a bounty hunter. I work for the Raven Queen. And I am here because someone here is using illegal necromancy. My Queen would like a word,” he explains, honing in on the as of yet silent halfling. He can already feel the book.

“Necromancy? I thought we were after the illusion thinger,” Merle says.

“Yeah, uh, are you sure you got the right place?” Magnus asks.

“Are -- are none of you at all concerned about the fact that your friend over there is missing his soul?” Kravitz asks, pointing at the corner of the room where the third member of their party is sitting on a stool and staring blandly into space.

“Wait -- what?”

“And that elf over there,” Kravitz continues, pointing at the one he had disguised himself as. “He does -- he isn't a whole person either. What the actual fuck do you people even hope to accomplish?”

The halfling, he notices now, has something wrong with her. He can feel the intensity of the artifact she is using pulsate through the room, and it's affecting her mortal body. Fissures are forming on her face around the eyepiece, slowly tearing her apart. This is far more serious than he had realized.

He doesn't bother with his book of bounties this time, because he knows this halfling has been off the Raven Queen's radar. He had been sent here for her illegal grimoire acquisition, after all, not the fact that she has been defiling people's souls.

He sweeps on forward, scythe in hand, and he leers down at her. “For the act of the use of illegal necromancy, as well as for the possession of an illegal necromantic grimoire deemed unsafe by Her Majesty the Raven Queen, you will be taken to the Eternal Stockade for judgment,” he hisses.

“I think not,” says the orc, and then he swings one meaty fist directly toward Kravitz' face.

He catches the blow with the pole of his scythe. He dislikes fighting in this form, but he doesn't always get the choice. “Do not interfere.”

“Salvatore,” the halfling says, a warning.

But Salvatore does not listen. Kravitz shifts, but the next blow slams into Magnus' shield.

“Can you help Taako?” Magnus asks.

There are a lot of factors that come into play when souls leave bodies. It's terribly unsafe. Under normal circumstances, if a soul ventures too far from one's body, then the connection between the two is severed. If the soul's new vessel is corrupted or destroyed, the soul transports to the Astral Plane. If the body dies while the soul is missing, it means certain death.

That is all the truth, but that doesn't mean he can't try. He considers the debt between them settled, but he knows he has gotten himself into quite the undertaking this time. He could use the back up.

“I will do my best,” he says.

Magnus nods, and then he is dueling one on one with Salvatore. Merle is trying to pull Taako out of harm's way, but there appears to be something going wrong on that front. Kravitz does not bother finding out what.

“You couldn't wait ten minutes,” the halfling shouts at him. “I was almost done!”

Kravitz conjures a shield the moment he sees her eyepiece start to glow, and then an explosion of colors twist together in a hypnotic pattern around him. He blinks, but then it's gone, whatever effect the spell is supposed to have failing. But then he realizes that halfling is gone, and then that there are dozens of her sprinkled around him.

Fuck illusion magic, anyway.

The thing about illusion magic, though, is that it isn't supposed to make real things. Illusion magic is confusing and irritating, but it hardly has any offensive purposes. These fake doubles of the halfling are pretty solid, though. He finds that out when the first one lunges at him. He casts a blight spell on her, expecting that she is the real one. She falls immediately, and two more jump at him. Oh.

As he fights, firing off spells and attacking with his scythe, he begins to notice a pattern. None of the doubles last long, for one thing, and the other thing is that their features are not quite perfect. They appear to be very lifelike dolls, hovering in the uncanny valley, but still not quite right. Too smooth, too little expression.

A simple but effective eldritch blast pushes a number of the doubles back. If this is a ruse, then where is the real illusionist?

He catches a glimpse of what he assumes to be her as he fights off another wave of dolls. There's a door in the corner of the room, too far back to be a part of the other room he had been in, and she's going through it. It might be a trap; this is the only version of her not attacking and so it seems that she's the real one, but it could just as easily be a trap. He risks it, giving chase away from the dolls, but as soon as the door shuts, the wall seals up just as neatly as anything, as though there has never been a door there in the first place.

At first, Taako can only think of that horrible illusory room he had been trapped in when confronting Rebekah and Salvatore in the lobby. The claustrophobic feeling of those inky black walls is similar to this, except this time, he can't move. He feels like there is nothing of him to move.

It is distinctly horrible. He can't even call out for help. He can't remember where his mouth is, or how to get it to move.

But slowly, he becomes aware.

The light in the tiny room is very dim, but he doesn't need light to see. He is resting on what appears to be a desk in the corner of the room, next to his umbra staff. He seems to no longer be an elf. He isn't sure what he is. He is not aware of his current state of being. He doesn't seem to be able to feel anything. He isn't inside his body. He can see that from here, actually. He is lying out flat on a table with his arms and legs cuffed down to it. His eyes are closed like he is asleep, and his lungs gently rise and fall with each breath.

It is the weirdest fucking experience of Taako's life. And he has seen some pretty fucked up shit in his days with the Bureau of Balance.

He knows a little about astral projection and visiting other planes, and there is some necromancy bullshit for higher level wizards to rip their own souls out of their bodies. But he can't do that yet. And he can't move either. Could that be because he hadn't been the one to cast the spell?

He feels like he should know this one. He tries everything he can think of. He tries to will his body to wake up. He tries to will the container he is in to let him free. He tries to push his spirit across the room. He even tries to control the umbra staff.

Huh. That staff.

Good thing his soul isn't pure magical energy, because he is most certainly a defeated wizard. God only knows how humiliating it would be to be vored by his own umbrella.

The staff seems to have a certain amount of sentience to it, however. He has never really figured out how that works. Studying it had done him little good; there aren't any enchantments on it that he has been able to find, and Leon the artificer has confirmed that it is entirely curse free. It is strange. The staff had never seemed to have any weird sentience back when Lup used it.

If he can't astral project himself off of the desk and he can't compel the staff to obey him without actually doing literally anything, that pretty severely limits his options.

What can he do? He can sit very, very still. Far more still than he had ever been able to when he had a body. That's something. It's not the most useful something. Actually, fuck it, that's the least helpful thing ever. He can see the entire room around him. It seems bigger than he remembers, but he also remembers being folded up very small. He is alone in here, with his body. Rebekah and Alfonso are gone.

He can also hear. And right now, he hears Rebekah from what sounds like the adjoining room. She is talking to...Salvatore? To Alfonso?

Then he hears Magnus, and he feels a trill of excitement. Magnus and Merle must have realized that Taako was gone and had come looking for him. Not that it is doing him any good at the moment; he assumes Rebekah isn't about to just tell them where he is.

But they are downstairs in the basement. They won't leave without him, right?

The sounds grow more distant for a moment, and he wills them closer. He couldn't make out what they were saying when they were closer to him, and now it just sounds like a very vague mutter. If he could groan, he would. Instead, he mentally settles back in and tries to take stock of everything in the room. There isn't much to do.

Think, Taako, think.

And it hits him, suddenly, out of the blue.

Who the fuck is Lup?

#tying the nano #dat last line doe

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specialmindz · 5 years

Photo

“NYEH HEE HEE HEE!”

“*Sigh* Why...why do you do this? You know that’s not right.”

“...I’s ready to go Daddy...”

“No. No you’re not.”

“I’s ready to pay in da’ snow...”

“We’re visiting the king,” said Gaster, taking Papyrus’s boots and putting them on correctly.

He should be doing this himself.

“The king in the snow pace?”

“No.”

“He building a snowman?”

“NO.”

“alphys is sick baby bro,” said Sans opening a cabinet. “so i have to help dad work for the next few days. the king volunteered to babysit you for a while-”

“HE GONNA SIT ON DA’ BABY?!”

“no pap-”

“HE GONNA SIT ON DA’ BABY!”

“papyrus…”

“YOU GOTS TO TELL HIM I’S NOT AN EGG BIG BUTHER!”

“what...?”

“You gots to tell him I’s not an egg! The king be reeeaal tall and stuff so when he sees a tiny skelly baby such as myself, he only see mah bald widdle baby head and he probably think ‘wowie, I find-ed a tiny widdle egg on mah doorstep! I bet there be a baby chicken inside...I bedder sit on it, or is gonna get cold-”

“you’re wearing clothes bro.”

“Yeah, but he can’t sees em’ cause’ he too big...Imma draw a smiley face on my head. Where the markers be?”

“You’re not allowed to have markers.”

“Dat don’t mean I doesn’t need em’. Baby is NOT a butt-plug.”

“what’s a butt-plug?”

Gaster sighed, already exhausted. He didn’t want to bring Papyrus all the way to New Home, and he wanted to leave him there even less. King Asgore was the Underground’s only hope of escape at the moment...the only solid one at least. He was Gaster’s safety net of sorts if Sans turned out to be unable to teleport his brother past the barrier. Without the king, the royal scientist would be an even bigger nervous wreck then he was now, but no one else was willing to watch Papyrus and there was no way on earth the little troublemaker would leave them alone while they worked.

Picking up the baby bones with his wingdings so as to avoid being bitten, he looked the infant in the eye. “His Highness is very lonely Papyrus,” he said gravely. “and what’s worse is he doesn’t know the full extent of your horrendous behavior. That means he’s going to be spending a lot of time with you rather than simply leaving you to play his lost children’s video games; that being said, you need to be kind to him. If he dies, there will be no one strong enough to wield the human souls and break the barrier, understand?”

“Ooooh! Fluffy Buns gonna pay wit da’ baby?!”

“yep, so be nice to him bro. no hitting, no biting, no tearing anything up-”

“Okay, okay. I’s gonna be nice and quiet and just read books like a good bae.”

“NO BOOKS. Do you hear me? NONE. Do not read him ANY stories. He can read to you, but do NOT read to him, do I make myself clear?”

The last thing I need is an hour-long phone call from the old fool trying to find the right words to tell me how to raise my child.

Gaster got a lot of those from the queen long ago if he remembered correctly and they annoyed him to no end. Not just because she took forever to get to the point, but because she refused to even consider the possibility that HER kids were the ones that needed a talking to. In her eyes, it was always Gaster’s fault, not her precious Asriel or Chara.

Even though Papyrus spent most of his time around those two and I’M always working, it’s still somehow more likely MY influence, right.

I do wonder though, whatever happened to the old hag?

I know she abandoned her husband and the kingdom, but where exactly did she run off to?

“I can pay wit da’ snails?”

“You’ll do what he asks you to do.”

Papyrus blew a raspberry in the scientist’s direction, splattering him with drool.

“NYEH HEE HEE HEE HEE!”

“have fun baby bro, and tell me everything when you get back okay? maybe if you’re reeeeally good, the king will help you get into daycare!”

“Absolutely not,” said Gaster, placing the baby bones under his arm. “sending him to daycare is out of the question with its current management.”

“huh? why? what’s wrong with undyne’s mom?”

His father shook his head. “I know the woman who works there personally. She uses her child’s temper as a tool for suing parents who leave their children at the daycare she now runs. Whenever Undyne throws a tantrum and hurts someone there, her mother accuses the parents of child abuse, claiming that despite Undyne’s reputation, the children keep trying to play with her because their parents order them to. She has the king completely convinced that they’re getting their kids hurt on purpose so they can sue her. It’s a complete lie of course, she used to work at the lab pulling the same money-grubbing stunts until I fired her.”

And this was BEFORE the Underground was such a poverty pot.

No doubt she’ll try to use Papyrus somehow, wretched woman…

“Her husband fought and died in the war and so Asgore not only sees her as a lover of children who does everything in her power to enrich their lives, but also sympathizes with her. He sees her as a single-parent with a troubled child living in a bad economy and thinks she’s selfless and kind, when in reality she’s as greedy as they come.”

“well...she can’t go doing that forever and ever and ever though right? even if everyone’s poor, the king will eventually figure out she’s lying. he can’t believe the ENTIRE underground’s out to rob her.”

Even if everybody IS poor, he should know he’s being punked. Not EVERYONE is gonna gang up on ONE person, especially if they need that person to watch their kids.

“He’ll figure it out eventually, yes...but for now, Papyrus needs you. He’s better behaved when you’re watching him anyway; now I expect the beakers to be in place by the time I get back Sans-”

“Nyeh? Snas not gonna tellyport da’ baby?”

“nope. dad wants to make me do all the prep work and use your trip to asgore’s as an excuse.”

Gaster rolled his eyes and left the lab. There was no point in retorting, Sans would never understand how lucky he was compared to the other children in the Underground. Unlike them and himself, he wasn’t a victim of poverty and no amount of arguing on Gaster’s part would rid the boy of the entitled attitude that came with living comfortably.

Lazy ungrateful brat...he really thinks every kid sits on their ass all day while their parents work. Preposterous. Back in MY day, we used to work in mines and factories at his age and both places were messier than the Nursery. We spent most of the money we earned on medicine just so we could work more and he’s complaining about setting up a few beakers...?

“I thought Sans Serifs made up for their lack of strength with superior intellect, but clearly I was wrong. Damn that Charles Dickens and his god-awful Oliver Twist novel! If Sans hadn’t gotten ahold of that book-”

“To be, or not to be! Nyeh hee hee!”

“That’s Shakespeare.”

“I has look-ed upon all da’ universe has to hold of horror, and even the skies of spring and flowers of summer must ever afterward be poison to me.”

“And that’s Lovercraft.”

“Waz Lovecafe?”

“Dr. Seuss for adults; you know what it is, you just quoted it.”

“Is mac and cheese?”

“YOU JUST QUOTED IT.”

“Yeah, but maybe I read-ed it off the box?”

“I highly doubt any form of Kraft Mac and Cheese would put the words ‘horror’ and ‘poison’ on their box,” said Gaster tightening his grip on the baby bones. The spring platforms were dangerous in Hotland when you were carrying things. It made him (and a lot of other people he imagined) wish that the elevators were better maintained as good food was only really found at the Resort or in Snowdin. That meant people who lived in Waterfall not only had to brave the harsh climate of Hotland, but also somehow carry their groceries back home across the springboards if ever the elevators were to break down, which was often...and today.

“WHEEEEEEE! DO A FLIP DADDY!”

Despite the overpopulation problem, there just weren’t many people who knew anything about complex machinery. Some monsters knew about the compromise Asgore had made with the humans long ago, but most did not. The deal was if he worked together with them to destroy the Horrors, they would refrain from mass genocide and settle for the monster’s self-imprisonment within Mt. Ebott. The king, in his cowardice, took the agreement and kept it secret from all his people, aside from the handful of Boss monsters he needed to raise the barrier itself...Boss monsters that had to put the barrier up from the outside in order to get it to work, which resulted in their destruction. His Highness, claiming the reason for the team up was because the Horrors posed a bigger threat to the earth, was left with weak monsters of all sorts with different backgrounds. None were prepared for Mt. Ebott. They weren’t a group of scientists, engineers, or soldiers, they were simply confused citizens who were one day told to gather inside a mountain by their king before being sealed inside and fed a bunch of lies.

There’s no one left down here who knows how to fix the elevators except me now, thanks to Papyrus. Asgore’s lucky I was already in here before this place was sealed, or he’d have quite a problem.

It would’ve been nice if he could go back to what he was doing BEFORE the monster came to Mt. Ebott and began piling work on top of him. He wanted and had been studying the strange climate changes within the mountain, trying to hypothesize if the volcanic activity had anything to do with the strange weather and if the source of all magic really stemmed from the Earth’s core, or if it was just a chemical reaction; but it had been so long since he’d seen his notes, he doubted they hadn’t already been chewed up by the hellspawn under his arm. Luckily, skeletons had the lifespan of a monster, and Asgore not only knew about the lack of educated monsters in the Underground, but was doing something about it, putting emphasis on certain subjects in schools and introducing the students to daily logic puzzles so that the next generation would be more tech savvy. It would take a while, but by the time most of the children in the Underground reached adulthood, most of them would know the basics of at LEAST electrical engineering and be able to fix those damn elevators.

If Sans didn’t have one hp I’d absolutely enroll him, but I need someone to watch Papyrus and he’d most likely be killed by one of those bratty school children. He’s too shy, small, and weak to be near anyone immature...I can’t risk it. Especially when I’m so swamped with work.

“It almost makes me want to try again...make a new clone and split it in half, this time the RIGHT way...but if I make another mistake, I’ll have FOUR children...”

“Nyeh?! You’s gonna make more babies?!”

“Absolutely not.”

“I wish to have a widdle sister. Not like Snas, I mean a REAL sissy-”

“Sans is the closest thing to a girl that will ever come near you, and I can say that with the utmost confidence.”

“Undyne a girl...”

“You heard what I said.”

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!

“Who there?”

“What?”

“Snas say, when he do dat, I’s supposed to say ‘who there.”

“...”

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!

“Who there?”

“Stop that.”

Opening the door, Asgore greeted the two with a warm smile. “Welcome Gaster, I’m so glad you decided to bring your little one in person rather than having Sans simply teleport him here.” He bent down until he was eye level with Papyrus. “You’re looking adorable as ever Papyrus, it’s nice to see you too! You look like you’ve gotten a bit bigger since we last saw each other, ho ho ho!”

“You too.”

“PAPYRUS! I’m so sorry your Highness-”

“Oh don’t worry about it, I’m sure he means well.”

“NYEH HEE HEE!”

Handing Papyrus to Asgore, Gaster frowned as he watched the baby bones snuggle into the king’s chest...a tactic the infant usually used to distract the people he was trying to steal from.

“Get your wingdings out of his pocket. I told you to behave yourself!”

“He’s only curious my friend! I remember when my little Chara was still alive, they used to go through everything-”

“Where all da’ monies at? You’s a king aren’t you? You’s supposed to be wich!”

“Ho ho ho, you’ve got your brother’s sense of humor I see!”

“YOU’S NOT FUNNY!”

“We’re gonna have such a fun day!”

“ERRRNNN!”

“Alright, I’m heading off. I’ll return for Papyrus as soon as you call me,” said Gaster turning to leave.

“As soon as I call you?”

“Correct. When you reach the point where you no longer wish to watch him, give me a call and I’ll pick him up. One, two days would be nice, or whenever you feel like your life is in danger-”

“NYEHHHHHHH!”

“Ah! Oh dear, it’s alright little one, I’m sure he was only joking,” said the king, bobbing the infant up and down in his arms.

“He’s not upset. He’s only crying because that’s what babies do when their parents leave for work, or in my case, to go shopping. Papyrus will do what’s expected of other babies, as long as you’re watching him, in order to convince you he’s a normal infant…despite his exceptional talents. If he gets hungry, simply leave him by himself and he’ll fetch his own food, in fact, leaving him to his own devices is probably the best thing to do in general, especially if you’re at a loss.”

“Leave him by himself? That’s madness! I know he’s not a monster Mr. Wingdings and so should thus be raised differently, but my house is built for large creatures…my cabinets may as well be closets in his eyes! What if he gets into my cleaning supplies? He could be poisoned!”

“I’s going straight for da’ soap!”

“NO you’re not. He’s not your Highness. Remember, he’s a natural born liar and unfortunately, another trait he shares with his brother is he’s very attention-seeking.”

“Is you seeking mah foot up yo’ ass? Cause’ dat’s what it sounds like douche Daddy…”

Gaster didn’t respond. He simply turned and left, leaving behind a very confused and concerned king.

“We’s gonna read a book Fluffy Buns? Daddy said I could read alllll the books I wanted while I’s here…”

“Um…s-sure…” said Asgore, carrying the Horror into the living room. He sat down into his chair and watched as the baby bones used his wingdings to grab a random book from the shelf, all the while struggling to shake the uneasy feeling that had been steadily growing within him since he picked the infant up.

He was familiar with Horrors…he had fought them in the war after all, but he had little to no experience with their children. Apparently, the majority of baby bones were supposedly more intelligent than monster babies, though it did differ with each infant and had a lot to do with their typing. Verbal Fonts, which is what Papyrus was if he recalled, were the first to learn language and so were able to hold entire conversations at a very young age; entire coherent conversations. While other children struggled with multiple lisps, Verbal Fonts would speak clearly and be careful to only alter their speech enough to sound cute and maintain the love of the adults around them.

An intelligent infant is a dangerous thing…combine that with Papyrus’s ability and my love for children in general, and I’m at even greater risk.

I must be very careful of what I say…

“So Papyrus, if I recall correctly, each time you’ve visited my home you’ve crawled straight for my children’s room to play. We’ve never really gotten to know one another, have we?”

Papyrus stopped flipping through the book. “Nyeh?”

“Why don’t you tell me about yourself little one?”

The baby bones looked at his book and then back at the king as if he were unsure of what to say. For a moment Asgore thought he wasn’t going to speak at all; perhaps talking to Papyrus like an adult wasn’t the best idea. Gaster DID say he tended to act like a regular baby in front of others…

Did I make a mistake?

“*Ahem* My name be Papyrus and I’s two years old,” said the baby bones holding up two fingers. “I enjoy cuhwering, long crawls on da’ beach, and my big Buther’s company…his peasants I mean, he not own a company.”

“Heh heh ha ha!”

“As for my own endevors, I help the Underground by selling cheap affordable drugs to junkies so they overdose and die…or I WOULD do dat, if SOMEBODY would stop cutting off my supply.”

“…”

“Dat someone be YOU Fluffy Buns…”

“…I would appreciate it if you’d get out of the drug trade Papyrus,” said Asgore averting his eyes.

“Well I would appeciate it if you’d stop fuking wit my job security, NYEH!” Papyrus threw the book he was holding onto the floor. It didn’t have any pictures, so it was basically useless.

Not something meant for babies anyway.

“Dis book suck! Where da’ pictures at Fluffy Buns? You get dis from the weird part of the library?”

“Seriously Papyrus, about your job-”

“One time I went to the library to get some books for Snas, and I found a book just like this…cept’ it wasn’t like this, it was all soft like a blankey!” exclaimed the tiny skeleton hugging his Highnesses beard.

“Papyrus.”

“Dis book was weird as hell Mr. Buns! I open it up and it had zippers and buttons in it! BUTTONS! Who puts buttons in a book? They didn’t do nothing either! I undid the zipper AND the buttons and there no pockets or nothin’. What dat spose’ to teach the baby? How that edgy-cation-al? I thought it would at LEAST have pockets with stuff in em’ but it didn’t have CWAP!” yelled the baby kicking his tiny legs.

“…”

“I talked to Dirt-Butt about dis and he said the book was a met-a-phor about life. He said is supposed to teach you that life is full of disappointment and people who look for free hand-outs deserve to BE disappointed-”

“What? No!” cried Asgore horrified. “The book you’re describing is most likely a sensory book. It’s a book that acts as a toy for-who is this ‘Dirt-Butt?’ Why would he say something like that to you?!”

What kind of-

“…I thought it was deep.” Papyrus picked the abandoned book back up. “Dis a meta-book too? What it mean?”

“It…it doesn’t mean anything. It’s a book about snails.”

“I think it mean…exercising yo’ ima-gin-ation be more important than relying on someone else’s. Dat’s why it don’t gots pictures. Is saying ‘exercise your ima-gin-ation and make yo’ own pictures. Make your own books wit pictures so OTHER peoples can enjoy them. Give back to da’ community.’ What you think Fluffy Buns?”

“I think it’s a book about snails.”

CA-CLACK!

Papyrus dropped the book again.

“…”

“I liked dat book, is easy to read.”

“You didn’t read it.”

“There was dis one meta-book I find-ed that I still can’t read dough. Is hard like dis one, made of wood, but it had weird stuffs inside dat was scratchy and rubbery and foamy and-”

“That’s another sensory book. Babies are supposed to touch the things inside the book to learn what they feel like.”

“Even the dead kitty?!”

“Dead kitty?”

What?

“There be a page inside that say ‘kitty’s are soft, feel how soft the kitty is?’ and there be fur sticking out page! I touched it and it was real fur Fluffy Buns! Someone squished a cat in a book and put it on the shelf!”

“No.”

“They squished it flat like Undyne…”

“No, also don’t talk about Undyne’s chest like that…it’s not nice.”

“Why not? She do! I ask her one time, ‘hey Fish-Lady, where your boobs be? Yo’ muder gots boobs, so where yours?’ and she go, ‘I don’t know, I think they ran away while I’s sweeping. My mama keeps hers in a hammock cage thing so they don’t get away, but she never bought me one cause’ she cheap.”

Asgore rubbed at his temples as if trying to will away a headache. He didn’t know if it was Papyrus’s seemingly boundless energy, continuous change in subject matter, or lack of listening skills, but the boss monster was feeling more and more drained as the conversation continued.

He expected a Verbal Font to be a chatterbox of sorts, but he didn’t expect it to physically affect him. It felt as if his mind were currently running a marathon whilst leaving his body behind.

Perhaps I’m just getting old, it’s not as if Asriel didn’t ask a million questions when HE was younger after all…though he wasn’t anywhere NEAR as bad as this. I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised however, toddlers are one thing, but babies are quite another; they know even LESS about the world around them. Everything is new and exciting for a baby, so of course a Verbal Font like Papyrus is going to want to talk nonstop about even the smallest of occurrences.

Peeking through his fingers, the king watched Papyrus chatter on, seemingly oblivious to the world around him.

Stars above, I can only imagine how tired Mr. Wingdings must be on a regular basis. Perhaps I’ve been pushing him too hard with all these demands…as important as they are, his children should come first.

“…So I say, ‘you needs boobs Fish-Lady for your footure babies! Erybody knows muder milk be the most nutritious!’ and then she did dat thing where her eyes get real big and her voice get loud and she scream, ‘OH MY GOD! WHAT IF SOMEONE STOLE MY BOOBIES WHILE I WAS SWEEPING SO THEY COULD HAVE FREE MILK?! WE MUST CAPTURE THESE VILLAINS AND BRING THEM TO JUSTICE!”

Asgore brought his hands down. “Was this last week?”

“Nyeh? I don’t know, why?”

“Because I got a lot of complaints about Undyne last week. That’s why.”

“Then yep, probably, cause’ she and I went around asking people bout’ her boobs and she beat up lossa people. The ones who laughed. She said only bad guys laugh at the unfor-tune-ate.”

“That’s,” the king groaned pitifully. “That’s not a good reason to assault people…”

“Is good enough for her.”

“I CAN SEE THAT,” said Asgore loudly before quickly catching himself and correcting his volume. “How about I make us some tea?” Getting up, he sat the baby bones on the chair behind him and headed towards the kitchen, a tactic he often used whenever he was in an uncomfortable situation, however he didn’t miss the glare the little Horror shot him on his way there.

“Babies don’t dwink tea! Babies dwink MILK! Dat’s why Undyne’s boobies be so important! Why you no listen?”

“I’m listening…”

“No you’re not, you weave right in da’ middle of mah story!”

“You’ve told many stories already, why not take a break?”

“A bake? I don’t need no bake! I gots to pactice my font daily or I’ll be weak when I gets big!”

His Highness glanced over his shoulder, placing a full kettle of water on the stove. “I see…so these stories of yours are a way for you to practice your lying without suffering any severe long-term consequences. I suppose it’s safe to assume then that most of what you’ve said about Undyne’s…rampage, is entirely false?”

“I doesn’t remember ERYTHING she say, or the EXACT words she used, but I’s still telling the tooth. I’s a good bae, ya’ know? I help Undyne when she was feeling sad about not finding her boobies even dough I didn’t have to. I told her mah Daddy could make her some new boobs wit his science and then she was happy, all cause’ of me.”

“Your father eh? So if I call your father, he’ll tell me the same thing?”

“Yep. I aspect so. He the one who solved da’ mystery of the missing boobies too! My Daddy a hero even dough he suck.”

“Right.” The king stood in near the stove watching the kettle, he was torn between going back to the living room and hiding in the kitchen. He WANTED to keep listening to Papyrus, but he was tired and the infant’s loud high-pitched voice was becoming unbearable. He wasn’t sure how much helium Gaster was pumping into that baby’s room, but it sounded lethal, which was too bad because one of the few things Asgore took pride in was the fact that he was a much better listener than his wife. He loved her, but he was all too aware of her awful tendency to jump to conclusions before hearing an entire story and how much pain it could bring others, so he made it a point to do better. To BE better. It was almost like a secret and silent competition of sorts where he would struggle to become the prince’s favorite parent…though it was embarrassing to admit and deep down, he knew it wasn’t right.

There was even a shameful time when he went overboard and blamed her a bit for their children’s deaths, though he NEVER said anything about it verbally. As king, he had to work most of the time to maintain the Underground, especially considering the shape it was currently in, which meant TORIEL was in charge of watching the children throughout the day. He didn’t know exactly WHEN Asriel left for the human village, but there was a time when he suspected it was while his wife was supposed to be keeping an eye on them. The idea should have made angry or sad, but instead he only felt an embarrassing sense of triumph that he hated himself for.

That is, until Gaster set him straight one night at Grillby’s.

“Don’t be a fool. Your child left in the middle of the night; it was no one’s fault, much less your own, unless you make a habit out of watching your offspring sleep.”

“How can you be so sure? We don’t have cameras around our house OR the barrier.”

“Common sense. Her Highness homeschools them in the morning so it’d be impossible to leave at that time and had the prince left in the afternoon, it would have taken him hours to traverse his way down the mountain due to the unfamiliar terrain and to even FIND the village. He’d only be able to reach it by nightfall when most of the humans sleep.”

“I…I see.”

“You’ve spent most of your life in the countryside, you must know what it’s like. The small villages that dot such places usually comprise of farmers…an early to bed, early to rise type of people. There’s little to no chance that there’d be enough of them awake to swarm your son, unless he left in the middle of the night and arrived at the village in the morning. Blaming yourself is irrational behavior, as is drinking away your day at the bar.”

“Y-You’re right…thank you.”

“…Then I tell Undyne to use her cute voice cause’ my stink Daddy don’t look up from his papers, but she still scu it up. She go ‘peas mister science man, can you make me some new boobies? I needs em’ for my wife and kids.” Papyrus shook his head. “Stupid Fish-Lady, I told her she stupid too. Wives don’t need milk, BABIES need milk, but she call me a clown fish and told me to shut my cwap mouth. ‘You doesn’t know ANYTHING stupid baby! I saw my mama use milk for her coffee and big people LOVE coffee, so he gonna feel bad for mah wife and kids and give me boobs for a bargain!”

“…I’m curious as to what your father’s response was.”

“Daddy told her dat she took after her muder and to ask HER where her boobies were.”

Asgore nodded, though the baby couldn’t see him.

Ahh, the old ask-your-mother response. I remember using that many a time.

If he recalled however, it never ended well. Passing uncomfortable situations like that onto his wife proved to be...problematic, as the queen was stubborn in her ways.

“I do hope you didn’t bother that poor woman Papyrus.”

“Nyeh? Poor?” Papyrus looked confused. “She not poor! Undyne’s muder wich! I knows cause’ she gots vases with no flowers in them. I asked her why that be and she said it was none of my beeswax and to not come in her house when the door be locked…I think she sold Undyne’s boobies Mr. Buns, but I can’t proves nothing…I think dat’s what Daddy was trying to tell us.”

“I assure you, she did nothing of the sort-”

“Can I borrow yo’ boobs Fluffy? You doesn’t need them no more right? You give them to Undyne?”

“I don’t…I don’t have those things,” said Asgore, wincing as he heard the pitter patter of tiny boots headed towards the kitchen.

“You look like you do…” said the baby peeking around the corner.

“WELL I DON’T.”

“But you look like you do…hey, what chu doing?” asked Papyrus tilting his head.

Picking up the infant, Asgore began carrying the Horror towards the room he was currently renovating. “Why don’t we go play a game while the water’s boiling, hm? I’m sure you’d rather spend time playing than talking to an old man like me. I’ll even play with you! How’s that sound?”

“Annoying…”

“Ho ho ho!”

As his Highness began to set up the game counsel (something that had to be done every time his children played a game), Papyrus glanced around the room, the previous conversation forgotten. Nothing had really changed since he’d last been in here…in a sense anyway. Chara and Asriel had always been very competitive and it continuously resulted in the destruction of everything in the area except the game counsels they were using. The place itself was a mess of broken toys like the Nursery, but there were scorch marks every which way and bits of splintered wood from destroyed furniture. To his right he could see something that may have once been a table of sorts, so he imagined the princes might have been eating and gaming in the same place; a practice he THOUGHT their mother had banned long ago due to the stains on the wall from food that had no doubt been thrown in a rage after one of the children’s gaming sessions.

Despite spending so much time together, the two had personality traits that contrasted greatly with one another. Asriel was a coward and Chara wasn’t.

That being said, the little goat monster had a tendency to use underhanded tactics to win games when he saw he was losing, such as complaining to their mother about Chara killing Yoshi so he could keep his high score in Mario, or pretending to “accidently” pull his controller out of its socket so his loss wouldn’t count. It infuriated Chara, who was much more mature when gaming, and it often led to violent fights and ultimately their games being taken away for a week or so while the king and queen had the game room repaired.

As a baby that valued courage more than most, Asriel’s behavior disgusted Papyrus, but he stayed quiet about it while he was over. After all, the baby was a guest and no one was perfect. He suspected that Asriel’s parents and environment in general played a big part in feeding his friend’s cowardice, that and monster babies weren’t like skelly babies. They didn’t seem to have the natural instinct Papyrus had to try and grow up properly. They weren’t born with a sense of discipline or ambition; In fact, from what he DID see, all monster babies did was sit around and wait for others to do things for them. He knew because they didn’t change when they became toddlers or even children like Asriel. They still spent all day playing for fun and making demands instead of practicing their magic or trying to intentionally learn new things.

“They spoiled.”

“Hm?” Asgore turned from the counsel and looked around. “Yes, I suppose we did spoil our children a bit. There are times when I wonder in fact, if they’d still be alive if I had been stricter with them…made them afraid to leave the house without permission.” He chuckled and sat on the floor next to Papyrus. “Then again, children will be children and Asriel shared his mother’s stubbornness. He’d of left no matter what I threatened him with.”

Papyrus took up a Gamecube controller and glanced doubtfully at the king. “You know how to pay dis game, or is you gonna be an old person da’ whole time?”

“Excuse me? I set up the game-box didn’t I? Just because I’m old, doesn’t mean ALL technology eludes me young man!” Turning on the game, they watched through the cinematics until only the title screen SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE remained with the words “PRESS START” fading in and out at the bottom.

“…”

“…Why isn’t it starting?”

“See dat button in the middle of the controller there?”

“Which button?”

“The only one in da’ middle. The one that say ‘start.”

“This one?”

“Pess it.”

Asgore pressed the start button and they were taken to another screen with multiple choices that immediately made the infant regret keeping quiet about the choice of game.

“So this is that Super Smashing Fighters game you all love so much! Look at all these options…since I’m a ‘noob’ heh heh heh, I think I need some training…what does ‘1-P’ mean?”

“Go to ‘VS. Mode.”

“Alright…oh. Oh I see,” said Asgore as he was taken to the character screen. “Going straight to the game are we? You’re like Asriel it seems. You don’t want to give me a chance to learn how to play, you just want to win.”

“No Fluffy.”

“You wish to take advantage of my old age and lack of understanding.”

“No. We’s gonna fight as a team. Pick yo’ peoples.”

“OH! OH I KNOW THIS MONSTER! IT’S PIKACHU!”

“Pick yo’ peoples.”

“How do I pick Pikachu?”

Taking the controller from Asgore, Papyrus hovered over the yellow mouse and pressed the ‘A’ button. “You see dis button Mr. Buns? See how it gween like a stop light? Think of dis button as the ‘yes button’ If you want something you use the ‘yes button’ to get it. The red button here be the ‘no button’ if you don’t want something, you pess the ‘no button’ kay’? Cause’ red be a bad color dat means STOP like a stop sign.”

“What?”

“Use dis to pick stuff and dis to go back.”

“Oh alright.”

So as to avoid more annoyances, Papyrus went ahead and made the proper arrangements for their team battle, choosing Kirby as his character.

“Dis game needs more babies…”

“Papyrus. Papyrus look.” Asgore pressed a button on his controller. “He’s got a little hat, ho ho ho!”

“…”

“Aren’t you going to dress up your pink guy?”

“He don’t get clothes till he eat you.”

“Oh my goodness, there’s a princess in the game! Papyrus choose the princess, I bet she has nice clothes…oh no wait, be Pichu! That’s Pikachu’s baby right? We can be a family of fighters!”

“Pichu sucks.”

“But we can be father and son and-”

Papyrus quickly changed his character to Pichu and put Princess Peach and Kirby in the other two slots as their opponents. “Okay, there. I’s Pichu. We pay now?”

“Does he have any-”

The baby bones changed his costume.

“How adorable! This game is so very very cute! I don’t see why Tori had such a problem with it…maybe she didn’t know about the outfits? She had a habit of making mountains out of mole hills that woman…how do we proceed?”

Pressing ‘Start’ they made it to the stage selection screen where, thankfully, the king immediately chose the one with the giant pokeball on it, having apparently recognized the object from an old video series his children had found miraculously intact at the Dump.

As the game began, Papyrus’s annoyance faded a bit as he watched Asgore test out the controls without asking about them. He may not have known much about technology, but obviously his battle instincts transferred into the game, as he seemed to instinctively know not to distract Papyrus during the fight…that is…until he noticed their opponents where no match for the Horror.

“How do I catch you?”

“Nyeh?”

“How do I catch Pichu? Every time I throw these pokeball things at you they turn out to have someone in them already. Where are the empty ones, or how do I empty them out before catching you?”

“DON’T CATCH DA’ BABY!”

“You’ll be safe in the pokeball. It’s part of a grand strategy-”

“Dis not Pokemon! Dis MELEE! You just supposed to kill da’ pencess and the pink bae-”

“What? Killing?! This is a FIGHTING game Papyrus, we’re supposed to be JUST fighting, not killing!” His highness grumbled in frustration as the princess sent him flying into the abyss.

BOOSH!

“Is just a game Mr. Buns.”

“There are more important things in life than winning, child. Don’t-DON’T YOU PICK UP THAT HAMMER PAPYRUS! Did you not get in trouble for using such a thing in real life?!”

BOOSH!

Once again, Pikachu met his end to a frying pan.

The baby bones patted the king’s arm in an attempt to comfort the agitated monster. “Don’t be mad Fluffy, you do bedder next time!”

“What? I’m not angry! I’m not angry and that’s not the point!”

“You are. You’s mad cause’ the pencess be kicking you in your asshole.”

“She’s not-she’s not beating me, I’m letting her win because she’s a woman. It’s not good to hit women Papyrus, that’s not how a gentleman behaves!”

“Liar. She kick yo’ ass and now you’s mad.”

“I’m NOT angry. There’s nothing to be ANGRY about! This isn’t even a real GAME child! I told you I didn’t know how to play, so I need training. This game doesn’t count, it’s merely a learning experience!”

“A learning ah-sperience?”

“Quite.”

“Hm…then perhaps during dis game you can learn to be less of a bitch.”

“…”

“…What?”

“I’m calling your father.”

“Nyeh? Why? What I do?”

“You’re using naughty words and doing naughty things.”

“Ohhh, you wanna cry to my Daddy cause’ you feel embarrassed and you wants time to get good.”

“That’s not what I said!”

“You wanna send baby home so you can pactice.”

“Absolutely not!”

REEEEEEEEEE!

“Oh look, yo’ tea be done! Now you can go to da’ kitchen and peetend mah Daddy just called to check up on things!”

“PERHAPS HE WILL CALL!”

CA-THUM!

As Asgore stormed away, slamming the door behind him, Papyrus crawled over to the prince’s toy chest to scavenge for new crayons to take home with him.

It was unfortunate that Asgore and Asriel were so very much alike when it came to anything competitive, but that didn’t mean he and Papyrus couldn’t get along in general. He had had a good time talking to the king and even though he was mad, the infant wasn’t worried in the slightest. His Highness was upset, but he wouldn’t stay that way forever. Despite the fact that he was definitely going home, he knew he and the king would play again some other day and the baby was looking forward to it.

And as for Asgore himself, he decided allowing Papyrus to ingest a bit of soap wasn’t the worst idea in the world.

Merry Christmas everyone! Sorry for the wait, I had a computer error that erased ALL of my progress. Even if I did make the one month deadline, this still should have been done earlier, so I made it longer as compensation.

Also I finished another chapter of Fonttale 3, so there’s that too. I hope you all have a good holiday with your loved ones and remember to cherish them while they’re still around.

On another important note, I’ve no idea who drew this, but appreciate it’s existence. I tried looking it up through reverse image searching, but after it showed me a ton of results and I clicked on one, Norton freaked out and warned me that it had just blocked something...so if you want to know who drew this, reverse image search is NOT the way to go, otherwise you’ll risk your shit. Just thought I’d warn people who don’t have computer protection.

#Fonttale #Fonttale au #Undertale #Undertale au #Papyrus #Baby Papyrus #Gaster #Sans #kid sans #Asgore #a bit of deltarune

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