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cellophaine · 7 months

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Sad Girl (Part II)

Read Part I

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Warnings: Angst, not a happy ending.

Author's Note: Sooo, I severely overestimated how much free time I would have, and as it turns out, I have had not a lot and will have none free time for the next three weeks. My irl project is quite literally consuming me on top of the packing for an across the globe trip, so I won't be able to work actively on any writing project at all 🥲 I will be back to writing and posting in late fall/early winter! (hopefully)

P/S: I might write a part 3 to make up for the angst but uhm ... please don't come for me over the ending 🫣

GIF Credit

Judging by the sound of people and traffic outside, Matt knew he had slept in. Not that it mattered since it was a Saturday, and he had nowhere to be, especially after a night of going all out on a celebration with Foggy and Karen on the occasion of winning a big case for their client. With the new bonus lined in their pockets, Foggy gave a passionate speech about the grand plan of upgrading the office; Karen daydreamed about a proper heater for the upcoming winter while Matt zoned out, occasionally chiming in with a witty remark. He didn't enjoy his win as much as he should, as a part of him wished he could see you and tell you about it instead. He knew you would be happy for him and listen to every detail, just like you did whenever he told you about his day, when he wasn't in a hurry to leave.

The talking clock announced the time and date, and as Matt shifted back to the bed, a thought struck him. It had been three months since his last illicit affair with you. Matt sighed, pressing his face into the pillow at the thought of you. He had been thinking about you more and more every day. Matt blamed it on his coming to the acceptance that what you and he shared had long dissolved into thin air, becoming something that never was before you met. But the history was still there, at least for him. It didn't get to disappear. It stayed in his head, haunting him like a shadow at the edge of his conscience, waiting for a chance to occupy his thoughts whenever he found his mind strayed, and if he had to admit it, he didn't want to let it go. Matt replayed the last night he spent with you over and over, prying for little details of what had gone wrong, only to come up with none. You were curt with him, and the rebuttal he came up with was you were tired. You even said it yourself. Matt left you alone that night after that, and he even made sure that the two of you were okay. But he guessed it wasn't enough, as you completely shut him out afterward.

From time to time, Matt would stop by your place to check on you, to see if the wind chime returned, only to be disappointed by its absence. He would perch on the rooftop of your building, listening to the sound of your soft laugh alongside your favourite show. Matt was so close, yet so far away from you. He had gotten used to the silence, but he hadn't used to not seeing you, being around you. Even though a small part of him was crestfallen that you didn't seem to miss his presence, it made him happy to see you were still doing well. Even if it was without him.

Turning on his back, with his hand stretched over the empty space beside him, Matt couldn't help but wonder why you cut all contact with him, and why he had been so bothered by the fact. He could take the hint and accept a rejection, but he couldn't understand why your silence hurt him the most of all. Something was missing; Matt could feel it so clearly when he returned to his apartment at night after your arrangement was abruptly over. His place didn't have your scent, your candles, or even the overpowering aroma of the ointment you applied on him when he needed it. He even missed the coarseness of your fine cotton sheets on his too-sensitive skin. Yet, none of these little things could even begin to compare to how often he found himself missing your presence most of all. Your steady heartbeat and the way it quickened when he touched you. Your comforting scent when he buried his nose into your neck. The way your thighs found their home around his waist when he fucked you into the mattress, your bodies moving together in a desperate attempt at getting closer and closer until you were joined in one body made of flesh and bones. It wasn't just the sex that he missed. His heart involuntarily yearned for your laugh, your presence, being around you. He remembered how your apartment smelled like the tea you drink and how it would be cold by the end of his visits. He missed the way you seemed to know what he needed by paying attention to his body language and the way he conveyed his needs without words.

Matt ran a hand over his face and sighed heavily. He needed to take a walk, to allow his mind to be uninhabited by you.

As Matt padded barefoot through the apartment, he was reminded once again of you by the soft floral fragrance in the sweater you left at his place. It was you he smelled, a warm and sheer powdery iris that he could never mistake for someone else, and a mix of his own scent, too. When he first noticed it in his closet, his heart fluttered when he realized what it was. Now, with its new place on the top of a dining chair, the faint floral was a reminder of what you were to him. He wished he could restore it to your scent and your scent only so he could hold onto you a little longer. Matt caught his stray thought and steered himself away from reminiscing. It was dangerously close to the territory he couldn't afford to enter. So he shut it out.

He really needed that walk.

The air was crisp and clear, which made everything around him stand out more. Matt took a moment to take in his surroundings. The neighbourhood felt lively amongst the aroma of coffee, steaming broth, greasy food and freshly baked pastries. The revving of a motorcycle passed by him, making his brows furrow over the loud noise and the waft of smoke it brought. He smelled more food, more body odour, but amidst all that chaos, something familiar arose. The scent reminded him of you. And once again, his thoughts strayed as if he couldn't help himself.

How could he have predicted the way things ended with you? Even if he knew beforehand, he couldn't prevent it from happening. It simply wasn't meant to be. You and him both knew what you were getting into, and it was nothing more than a casual exchange. And if his exclusion from your life was what you wanted, he would respect that. Still, Matt couldn't make sense of his desolation. It confused him, all the thoughts running through his head, all the ache wrapping around his heart like cellophane, circling around the truth buried so deep that he couldn't feel it for what it truly was. It was almost as if his heart already knew, but his mind refused to acknowledge it.

The iris scent got stronger, and Matt directed his attention toward it. His heart seemed to recognize it before his senses caught onto it, beating faster as it came closer, accompanied by the rhythm of a heartbeat he knew so well. It was unmistakenly you, your scent, your voice, as all the tangible signals drifted to him. He was aware that you hadn't seen him yet; his feet involuntarily picked up the pace, closing the distance between you. You were closer to him now, the closest in months. He listened to your voice as you chatted with your companion, unaware of him. And when you finally saw him, Matt could tell as the breath in your throat hitched. He took a deep breath, bracing himself to say hi, a soft smile on his face.

It was only seconds, yet it felt so long as your jacket brushed over his on the busy pavement; the brief contact ended before it even began. You kept walking further away from him as Matt's heart dropped in the realization that you didn't stop to acknowledge him. The familiar ache took hold of his heart and squeezed again. Matt brushed the feeling off by taking his own steps forward and away from you, only with less certainty and excitement. He was still close by when he heard it. The conversation you had with your companion.

"Hey. You okay?"

The woman's voice was full of concern.

"Uh, yeah, I'm … I'm fine."

There was a touch of hesitation in your voice.

"Are you sure? You look like you saw a ghost."

A small chuckle.

"I feel like I did."

A brief pause and a small yet determined exhale later.

"Don't worry. It's nothing."

His heart dropped even further at your words; the pain grabbed and pulled at his heartstrings violently. What you said to your friend manifested a bitter taste on his tongue, making his stomach churn. You pretending not to know him and ignoring him hurt him more than he realized. How could you? How could you act like the ink on the pages of your story had washed away so completely that the history you shared became a blank book? Why did he become nothing to you?

Matt wanted to know the unbridled truth and get the closure he was owed. He deserved that much.

–

About a week later, Matt waited for you to return home at the front of your building instead of the usual spot at your fire escape. It was late, almost time for him to go back to his apartment so he could start the patrol for the night. But that could wait.

Matt buried his hands into his pockets to shield them from the wind nipping at his skin. Leaning onto the brick pillar at the bottom of the steps, he closed his eyes, trying to calm his heart rate, reminding himself that it was just you, the woman he had known so well. But his logic persisted. Maybe he didn't know you at all. He could barely understand himself these days. Who was he to say that he knew you for who you really were?

His heart picked up its pace again once he heard the sound of your voice neared. You were laughing alongside the familiar voice from last week; the slightest slur in your words was enough for him to know that you were tipsy. The uneven clicks of your heels on the ground became steadier as you made your way toward the entrance and stopped when you approached him.

Matt stood up straight, clearing his throat softly.

"Hi."

"What are you doing here?"

You wasted no time. Your voice was cold, and your demeanour was curt.

"I need to talk to you."

Your companion's voice interrupted him.

"Who are you?"

You pulled at your friend's sleeve, and after a brief pause, she released a small gasp and a soft "Oh". She then turned to him, her voice stern, leaving no room for any other interpretation.

"My friend doesn't have anything to say to you. So you can–"

"Mindy. I got this."

"Are you sure?"

Matt listened as the conversation wrapped up, with Mindy getting into a cab and you promising to call her if you wanted to talk. You closed the door, waiting until the taxi pulled away before returning to him, still keeping your distance.

"What do you want to talk to me about?"

Matt took a small step forward.

"About what happened between us."

"There is nothing to talk about. Nothing happened."

The blankness in your voice made him feel like his skin was pricked with needles. He scoffed, bewildered with disbelief at your outright denial.

"I wouldn't call cutting off all contact, out of the blue, without an explanation, nothing."

When you didn't say anything, he continued.

"Why did you shut me out? It's like our relationship meant nothing to you."

His words seemed to get to you as you snapped back at him.

"There was nothing between us. There was no relationship."

You enunciated your words, making your intention clear.

"I cared for you the same way you cared for me. Isn't that something?"

The harsh puff of air escaped from you was scornful, and Matt knew he was getting somewhere.

"No. You don't know what you're talking about."

"Of course I do. What do you mean by that?"

You stepped closer until you were inches away from him. You were so close that Matt could feel the tension in your body, the way your fists clenched into themselves, the way your heart pounded in your chest.

"You want the truth, Matt? The truth is I didn't want to set myself up for more disappointment, so I did what I thought was best for myself."

His brows scrunched together at the meaning behind your words.

"What kind of disappointment?"

You sighed heavily.

"The kind that came from knowing I could never be more to you. I thought you cared for me, Matt."

Your voice had gone quieter, so small that he felt like it took all of your strength to physically say it. He softened at that, and his hand reached out to find your cheek.

"I did. I still do."

But before the contact happened, you took a step back, avoiding his hand.

"No. You don't care about me like the way I cared for you. I was just your side piece that you could fuck whenever you–"

Matt was so taken aback by your firm conviction that he didn't register the latter part. He didn't care about the way you seemed to shy away from him and grasped your arms, pulling you close.

"You're more than that to me! You're my friend."

His chest heaved in exertion. He didn't know what else he could do to convince you. When you spoke, it was the way your voice shook that broke him.

"That wasn't enough for me, Matt."

Your hands came up to hold onto his arms, your grasp weak, but it gave Matt some hope. You swallowed hard.

"I lov– I liked you, so much that my heart hurts whenever you didn't stop by."

His heart rattled in its cage, wanting to break free at your confession. Your voice was so small, yet your words carried so much weight.

"I thought we could be more, but you confirmed that it wasn't in the cards for you, so … I did the best thing for both of us. I didn't want to waste anymore of your and my time."

Matt loosened his hold, his head dipped as he hoped you were looking at him.

"You knew what it would be like to be with me. I would go out and I might get hurt, and I didn't want to leave you by yourself worrying about me in case something happened."

You tore yourself away from his grasp, your voice raised in what felt like exasperation.

"You don't get it! I already went through those worries when we were still sleeping together. I was always worried about you when you got injured, when you came to my place just a little later than you said you would. I would be worried sick. So don't feed me that bull shit. I knew what I was getting myself into."

Matt fell silent, and for the first time, he lost his defence. So he returned to the start of it all.

"We agreed to be casual."

"Then why did you act like my boyfriend? Cuddling me to sleep? Making sure I was okay after a shitty day at work? I thought it was you showing that you cared about me more than just a fuck-buddy."

Your anger only intensified at his attempt at calmness.

"You're worth caring for. I didn't regret anything I did for you."

You chuckled, the sound bitter to his ears.

"Right. It doesn't matter anyway. You already have someone else waiting for you at home."

Confusion clouded his thoughts.

"What are you talking about?"

You scoffed in disbelief.

"I'm talking about Karen Page."

"What about her?"

"Don't pull that shit with me. I know you're together. I could tell by the way you acted throughout the interview and the photoshoot."

"You got it wrong. We used to date, but not anymore. We're only friends. Please, you have to trust me."

He could hear you moving toward him before feeling a jab of your finger at his chest; your face was closer to his for the first time in months.

"I don't care what the two of you are anymore, okay? It looked like that from my end. Do you know what it feels like knowing that you were made the other woman? I even defended you before my friend, saying that you actually loved me. I was so fucking stupid."

Your last words were dripped in a teary tone. Matt was speechless as you sobbed; the sound made his body throb with pain as if he was dealt with a thousand cuts. He noticed the way your heart thundered in your chest, but it wasn't out of dishonesty. It was out of the hate and love you had for him, both surging at once. Your heart thumped vigorously for him; your body burned with fervour because of him. He was too stubborn to see the signs for what they were: the affection and devotion you saved for him, reflected through the little things you did for him. You didn't have to say it. Your feeling for him was tangible and real, like the feel of your finger prodding at his chest. Real like the tears on your face at the expense of his unintentional ignorance.

Your hand fell to your side. Your anger subsided; now you were depleted, and Matt hated that he was the source of your distress.

"Please, understand where I came from. I didn't want to be a home wrecker. I just couldn't do it anymore."

He nodded. The silence stretched as the two of you let the confession infuse the air between you. Matt had asked for the truth, and he got it. Yet it was so suffocating that he felt like he couldn't breathe. All of your cards were laid on the table, and it was his turn to reveal his.

You sniffled, and your voice sobered up. But Matt could still hear the shakiness in it.

"Anything else you want to tell me?"

The words were at the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't bring himself to say them. He held his cards close, afraid to confront the aftermath. After all, he had so much to lose.

You took his silence for your answer. You trained your voice to be cold again.

"Right. I hope you got what you came here for."

You brushed past him and ascended the steps, leaving Matt where he was: at the front of your door, in the cold autumn wind, alone. Like he always had been.

*Likes, reblogs, and comments are greatly appreciated!* Follow my side blog to receive notifications whenever I post! @cellophaine-archives

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sanjisblackasswife · 1 year

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Eu definitivamente amo sua escrita. Você poderia fazer o trio de monstros reagindo ao leitor pedindo para transar com ela?

Estou realmente envergonhado de perguntar isso, mas senti que precisava. Desculpe se não entendi, inglês não é minha primeira língua.

A/N: Obrigado! Posso entender um pouco de português I gotchu no worries. Hopefully I read that correctly pls lmk if I didn’t though! I was able to understand a little :) (I probably butchered that too lol forgive me)

Monster Trio React to Their Crush Asking For Sex (NSFW-ISH?)

Black Fem Reader in Mind

Ft. Zoro, Sanji, Luffy

CW: Mentions of sex

Luffy

Okay just fyi if you’re not in a relationship with him or his crush he’ll just straight up say no KSBSISKS

He will absolutely treat you the same way he did Boa and nobody wants that😭

But let’s pretend Oda allows this man to have a form of attraction to women Cuz why not ( I HC he’s straight he just haven’t found his woman yet…because that’s literally me irl skshhsksjs)

Let’s say he at least finds you very attractive and maybe even a little crush on you.

You and him were in your room and he was watching you clean and talk about nothing when you finally got to the topic of sex (SOMEHOW) and said

“You know if you were ever up for it we could have sex whenever, Captain.”

He knows what sex is but never had it so you offering it makes him a bit gitty. He’s very nervous but you can’t tell because he is laughing it off a lot

Eventually you think he doesn’t want to for how much he’s laughing but he stops and explains he does want to have sex too

Very badly in fact he was so eager to say the least when you locked yourself in a room with him

Zoro

He has had sex before, but has loss interest in it after so long of not having it

But here come yo fine ass walking around in those damn workout clothes again stressing not only Sanji out now but Zoro

“You might as well workout naked, Woman.”

You knew he had a crush on you, but he never admitted it so you decided why not tease him,

“Well how about we both workout together..naked?”

Zoro got flustered in the damn face immediately

Zoro didn’t know if you were being forrreal or not so he began to get irritated

He has fucked his fist plenty of times at the thought but for you to be so damn direct—

“So? Yes or no?”

No real words were exchanged after he began swapping spit with you

Sanji

Why would y—what’s wrong with you.

Look he’s already cumming in his pants and bleeding.

You were getting yourself drunk in the kitchen because you were angry for some reason (insert reason ig)

Sanji decided it was time to cut you off but you held up the wine bottle teasingly looking up at him and say with a slurry voice,

“If you want it back you have to fuck me.”

And that is what lead him to feel his cock twitch.

He was very attracted to you, yes but he had to get a level head and not take advantage of you in this venerable state

He had to make sure you weren’t drunk drunk though. He didn’t want to do anything you might regret and you were. You couldn’t even keep your eyes open, you tried convincing him you meant what you said but he didn’t want to hear it he was already semi hard

“L-let’s Just get you to bed sweetheart.”

“Mmhm. You Gatta sleep in bed with me.”

He did but kept pillows in between you both for good measure he knew that some people say words they don’t mean when they’re drunk so Sanji just sighed keeping your naughty little request playing in his head.

It wasn’t until he woke up with you climbing on top of him that morning telling Sanji, “I told you I wasn’t that drunk…you still wanna fuck me?”

He fucked you btw.

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gyunglitter · 5 months

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introducing𓏧

the losers club !!

summary: just you dicking around with txt college!au besties

warnings: doja cat fandom slander, mentions of soobin's feet, mentions of bullying, cursing

contrary to your group’s self-appointed nickname, you guys are actually well known (and liked!) on campus!! :D

you guys have NO IDEA as to how so many people on campus grew to like you and want to hang out with you

especially since you guys had a hard time in school before

but woohoo to not peaking in high school right?!

tbh, you guys are testaments to that second round of puberty nobody talks about

ya know, the glow up that happens after you graduate high school and get away from all the pricks you were forced to see everyday?

yup, you and your losers are finally thriving

besides when you’re dying bc of all your classes and tests

but yeah

while other ppl really like your group’s personalities

YOU GUYS ARE SUPER HOT TOO🤭

i mean, just look at y’all!

[choi yeonjun]-

‘99 liner//junior

took a gap year before getting dragged back to go to school so he could learn to be a normal human being

did someone say IT BOY??

literally the girls and the gays are in love with this man

dance major and student athlete who unironically does zumba every saturday morning

had no social life in high school because kid was NEVER there

he was a bored only child, while his neglectful parents were filthy rich and figured their kid could do whatever he wanted to entertain himself

so what he wanted, they got it—including vacations

with him being gone so much, his classmates always wondered who this choi yeonjun guy was and how he could miss so much school while still passing

though the intrigue kind of stopped when he pulled up to school with the ugliest shoes to walk south korea

him and his obnoxious shoes gave a lot of people the ick :(

but never fear, yeonjun and his footwear are just ahead of their time!

(you can't say they are in quite yet, but they probably will come around some day!!)

yeonjun typically spent his days doing sports, travelling, and running away from talent scouts lmao

no idol life for him in THIS lifetime

but as life would have it, the man is too scrumptious to be out of the spotlight for too long

bc he became a model not too long after college started due to a school project photoshoot went viral on twitter!!

his twitter is a minefield while he reserves his insta for the wholesome content :)

[choi soobin]-

‘00 liner//junior

glue of the group despite insisting how much he HATES y’all

broadcast and entertainment major so he can get into the entertainment industry and get the bts of moviemaking!!

(really just wants to meet all of his favorite voice actors tbh)

known for being the Ultimate Boyfriend™ despite never actually being in a relationship lololol

in middle school he got into anime, which was COMPLETELY normal! he actually made a ton of friends that way!!

at least until one of his friends came over and saw his body pillow collection

yikes :/

unfortunately didn’t take long at all for the whole school to find out, and then they never let it go

all the way up until he graduated high school :(((

it’s okay tho!

he had tons of online friends from going to conventions and stuff!!

but making irl friends was definitely hard for him when he got to college

[choi beomgyu]-

01’ liner//sophomore

absolute MENACE to your little society

he’s the guy who gets whoever is in his company to unironically admit “last night was a movie”

music major studying composition while playing guitar in a band

the girlies are FAWNING

ppl are so in love with him because he’s so pretty

but then the kid opens his mouth :/

he was the most extroverted kid

which worked perfectly bc with his good looks and personality, everyone wanted to be his friend!! :D

but with high school, friends, and all his 100 extracurriculars

kid burned out by senior year :(

his last year of school, he totally ghosted his friends and stayed inside all day playing video games

(he actually got diamond 1 on LoL, boy is nothing if not determined)

eventually rumors went around that he got dropped and turned into a social outcast

but he didn’t really care since he was fine with rotting away the rest of the school year

by the time he got to college, he wanted nothing to do with things that would suck his already nonexistent energy

[kang taehyun]-

02’ liner//freshman

the one that always has the braincell

and really wishes he didn’t so he could escape yall

stem major for engineering, which is just another one of his controversial choices (being second only to befriending yall)

everyone on campus knows him as that one guy you go to when you need the answers to your homework or your final

yeah, he’s selling the test answers on the black market :P

what? he’s in DEBT

he never gets suspected tho bc he alrdy knows all the answers, so why would he be involved with that??

but the rest of the town?

well, the town knows him as terry

mans is always seen at the gym and the club pulling without even trying

this is TOTALLY contrasting to his high school life, where he literally only gave his time of day to his studies

mans did not have TIME to hang out with anybody

bc of this, he became a bit of an easy target to the one-dimensional jocks that tried to use him to get them better grades :(

he was a small kid, so he got picked on and tossed around a lot :(((

it’s okay, since he’s buffer than them now!! >:)

[huening kai]-

‘02 liner//freshman

maknae that’s more mature than ALL OF YOU

he acts like he isn’t, but kid grew up a MIDDLE CHILD between TWO SISTERS

they’d managed to craft the most perfect and thoughtful angel to grace south korea

except for his demonic laugh :/

but YOU GUYS LOVE IT!!

he’s coasting through college, wishing he could tell you what major he was

but boy is constantly changing it LMAO

he just loves learning about different subjects!!

not to mention he’s good at most things he tries

so he makes tons of friends!!

but he didn’t always :(

from middle to high school, he was THE band kid

he could play the guitar, percussion, trombone, and piccolo!!

so when little kai walked home in his minecraft hoodie carrying his giant instrument case

8/10 times kid would get pelted by eggs or something on the way home

good thing he had his trombone case to shield him!! :D

kai would also be insanely awkward and didn’t have good icebreakers besides his plushie collection

too bad that didn’t become socially acceptable for another few years

[y/l/n y/n]-

‘01 liner//sophomore

ladies and gentlemen i give you

her

the group's resident photographer, despite the fact that you're SO HOT

you are beauty

you are grace

well, you are now

high school: not so much

you were LOSER #1 girlie ://

you were just a little slow to pick up on a lot of social cues and what was "cool" or not, making you prone to awkward situations and bullying

for example: pinky promises and saying “on god” was quirky and acceptable, but spit shakes were not

neither were bowl cuts

or pretending to drown at the school pool and see how everyone would react

like i said, you were behind on a lot

but what took you the longest to learn—the people you thought were your friends were no longer laughing with you and your unfortunately timed puns, but at you (and your unfortunately timed puns) :(((

but you digress, because your overactive imagination worked to your advantage of getting clout and a full ride scholarship!!

you’re an art major with a minor in photography, winning a national photography contest that got the attention of your college

your genius piece of "different kinds of falls in public", where you purposefully tripped people walking by you and taking photos of them, had won the heart of the public and the school board over to the point of them begging to have you!

your parents and teachers just wished you had the same genius outside of cameras--as you slacked off in every other academic aspect

notes: enjoy me being unfunny but having a blast anyway! feel free to send in asks/requests regarding this fic. can't guarantee i'll respond to it, but i'd love to see what you guys think/want!

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sneezypeasy · 8 days

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*sigh*

Y'know, this really doesn't/shouldn't matter, but as this particular accusation keeps getting thrown at me over and over again - oh fuck it, I'm gonna take the bait this one time and set the record straight once and for all. Honestly my "appetite" in this context is truly not anyone's business (and if you don't care to hear about it this is the one warning you'll get to click away lmao) but I've reached the point where if you really wanna attack my credibility based on who you think I enjoy fantasizing about, I'm gonna throw you a bone and tell you exactly what type that is - cuz as much as I'm sick of the ad hominem attacks the Aussie in me is even more sick of watching them miss so fucking hard. If you're gonna roast me, the least you can do is hit me where it hurts, goddamn it. Get it right or go home you uncooked noodles. Capiche?

When it comes to my taste in men, my "type" is: big, strong, hairy brutes. There, I said it. Give me lumberjacks, give me cavemen, I want my Jason Momoas, I want my Ma Dong-Seoks, I want them broad shoulders and tree-trunk calves and I wanna see those muscles bulge. If a fictional character ever gets me biting my lip at the screen, it's never gonna be a fine-featured pretty boy, it's gonna be a good thick daddy who can take my wrists, pin me against a wall and [--------------------------------‐---sustained bleep sound effect---------------------------------]

youtube

1:38-1:51 🤣

Personality wise, I'm a basic bitch who has approximately zero defenses for the "jerk with a heart of gold" stereotype. Gets me every time, without fail. The smooth-talking playboy who flirts with everyone and who could bed anyone he wanted, but who only lets you see him at his deepest, dearest, most vulnerable moments? Sorry, am I supposed to not fall for that shit or something? Well frankly I don't understand how and I'm not ashamed to admit it. If he happens to be built like a fortress on top of that? Yeah, I'm done. Have me bathed and brought to your tent, sir, please and thank you.

I admit, it's rare that a character with the physique I like also has that heartbreaker personality I'm a sucker for. Guys in fiction are usually strong and mean or they make up for their lighter frames with silver tongues and barbed promises - rarely do writers create a character who's stacked with both brains and brawn, so to speak. Makes sense though, as while irl people can max out any combination of stats that they put effort towards - in fiction a character who's too good at too many different attributes can come across unbalanced or Gary Stu-ish and will fail to resonate with audiences unless the writer really knows what they're doing.

That being said, there really isn't any character in ATLA who fits my type - either of them, actually. There are some bit characters like Chit Sang who get close in terms of physical build - but Chit Sang has very gaunt, angular facial features that I'm really not a fan of and tbh, while I get that I can't expect all my big buff boys to also be masters of wit and cunning and charm, being dumber than a box of rocks does seal it for me, sorry. In terms of personality, I guess the closest character would be Jet, and he's cool and all but yeah, the whole "would go as far as killing kids" thing makes him a bit of a hard sell for me too. (And yes, it's worth questioning the writers' choices to create him with those flaws to begin with but look, that's a discussion for another day 😂)

All this to say, if you wanna tease me about coveting fictional characters and allowing thirst to cloud my judgment - COME AT ME BOYS. But not with Zuko, for fuck's sake. The character that makes sneezy.exe blue-screen ain't him. It's actually the late great Carthaginian General Hannibal Barca, the man the myth the legend may he Rest in Peace if anyone's seriously wondering. Look, I do like the scar, and the awkwardness is endearing - he's definitely not ugly or unappealing by any means so please don't misunderstand, I'm not trying to bash him or nothin' - but if I'm being brutally honest, he's not my type! Not physically, not even emotionally. If I ship Zutara, it's because aspects of the ship appeal to me that are unrelated to my personal opinion of Zuko as an object of fantasy, which if you must know (and now you do, congratulations, you're welcome), the kind of boy I do fantasise about when I'm in the mood for that sort of thing could literally and figuratively sweep Zuko off his feet - and then sit on him. In either order.

P.S. While we're on this topic, the character I personally relate to most heavily is not Katara either btw. It's Toph. If you're going to accuse me of bias, questioning my views on Toph would make the most sense for that reason. But really, it's hardly my fault that she's basically the most perfect flawless irreproachable badass in ATLA or practically all of animation as a whole. Come on now. *whistles innocently*

#anti anti zutara #fandom nonsense #zuko's nice and all but if you want him you can have him #seriously #I'm good thanks 👍#if he were built more like the Hound in GOT #well now we're talking 🤣#text post #long post #rebutting antis like Iroh teaching that mugger to mug better #LOL #Youtube

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shai-manahan · 1 year

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Hollowed Minds Progress Update 5/08/23

Hi! I know I failed at making a progress update last month, so first of all, apologies for that! Things have just been busy tbh and life has been too stressful that at some points I just couldn't write. It's why I've been a bit inactive here as well, and why I've been barely answering the asks I've been receiving.

I cannot report yet how many words I've written for the update so far because I haven't really taken a look at it myself, but I will do so at the end of the month if there's still no confirmed schedule by then. My eye health has just been very consistent at making my life harder as well until recently, and here's hoping I'll at least be able to function properly for a whole month🤞

Some things that will be in the next update:

For Chapter 2's Part 2:

Everything still goes as planned, except now both routes are expected to be fast-paced and action-oriented, though one is still more intense than the other.

This will be a massive one, not because of the word count but because of the variations that will play out. There won't be much issues in arranging the transitions to Chapter 3, so there's at least that, but your choices will matter a lot. So you might have to be careful with them.

One of the routes gets Alonzo actively involved, but please be assured that this doesn't mean you have to romance them. I actually encourage you all to check out both routes once they come because you'll gain more discoveries that way. 👀

Alonzo's route will be so memeworthy, I have to admit. Please try it.

There's an info dump in Chapter 2's Part 1 that I'm not really a fan of, so I'll be moving some of those to this part instead if needed.

For the overall IF:

Alex will now have a set skin tone if a lighter one is chosen for the Ripper. I will discuss this in detail soon, but I just wanted to emphasize that Alex and Ripper's mother are canonically PoC.

You will have options for your Ripper to wear contacts or glasses (or neither ofc).

You'll be able to bring a weapon with you in Chapter 2 depending on your choices so far.

You might remember a section of Chapter 1 where you can choose what your Ripper had been doing for the duration of the five months. I might reduce it to a few, just so I could have them properly recognized in the story.

There will be a couple of changes in the character descriptions in the game's stats page, with plans to make them shorter, too, for easier readability.

I will make sure you'll have saves at the end of this. So please don't be surprised if there'll be more page breaks in the future, as well as more choices (that are still as meaningful.)

In connection to above, I also plan to make the in-game descriptions snappier and easier to read while still maintaining the quality they should have. Your feedback will be very important for this, and this also applies to the beta testers (sorry I've been so silent. I swear I'll get back to you all soon lmao)

Not really too related here, but I also plan to be more consistent with my updates in the future. It's just that my irl schedule is still a huge mess, and it's very hard to be consistent when that happens.

Just a last piece of my mind. Some anons have been very aggressive with harassment the past few months, and I really have no interest for more drama right now. So if you have issues, if you think you can back your own words, send them through a DM or at least turn off anon so we could have a proper conversation.

It's honestly tiring. Being an Asian in this community can already be so tiring, so I am begging people to be mature and responsible with their words. After all, I've repeatedly said that you can always come to me with your concerns or whatever you have against me. As long as we can actually talk about it.

Anyway, that's all, and I hope the week will be good for everyone :) I have a few more things to post on Patreon tomorrow, so if you're a current patron, do look forward to that!

#hollowed minds series #interactive fiction #hollowed minds #wip #writing #hollowed minds book one #if wip #interactive novel #hollowed minds progress update #progress update #interactive game #if game #cyoa

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nobodysdaydreams · 19 days

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Are you Christian? hope that doesn't sound accusatory

Anon. I love you, but please know there is no possible way to drop into a stranger’s ask box anonymously demanding to know personal information (age, sex/gender, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, religion, nationality, diagnoses, etc.) without sounding somewhat accusatory or at the very least a little nosey (because why do you need to know that), but reading your disclaimer did make me smile despite my apprehension regarding this inquiry, so I appreciate you adding that in.

This is also a weird one because I genuinely don’t know what answer you are hoping for or if you’re just curious and enjoy dropping into people’s inboxes to ask if they’ve heard the good word of Jesus Christ which I have to admit, is an interesting strategy though not one I’d recommend. I was gonna answer this anon with something like “what are you a cop?” Or “come back with warrant” (classic) but then upon reflection, realized I should probably clear some stuff up in case you are confused. So, uh, to answer the question, yes, I am, though that will require some explanation as religion is not really what this blog is for. This blog is where I dump my hyperfixations, rants about life, links to my fanfics, and maybe make a few friends along the way. Some of the media I engage with like Narnia happens to be Catholic/Christian, or have Christian themes, or be popular in Christian circles, but that’s more coincidental. This blog really has no clear organization at all, I just see stuff I like or personally identify with, reblog, and that’s that, so it’s mostly fandom content, but stuff on neurodivergence and disability slips in a lot because I identity with a lot of it and happen to know a fair amount about it, so it makes sense to have it on my blog from time to time.

Now, I believe you might be coming into my ask box to ask about this because I recently started following and reblogging a few posts from Christian content creators. The reason for that is ironically similar to the reason I got this blog in the first place. I had no one irl to talk about fandoms and hyperfixations with, and people didn’t want me talking about them irl, so I came here to do that, met a lot of nice people, we rant about fandoms together, it’s a good time. Currently, I’m not around people irl who are Christian, so I’ve started coming here for that too, and it’s worked out pretty great. Met some nice people, talked about headcanons and such, found a few neurodivergent Christians and the intersectionality is nice, mostly good stuff.

The one issue I ran into was that a good number of my established followers and mutuals have religious trauma or don’t like religion very much, so to be sensitive to that, I tag every reblog of a religious post “tw religion” or “tw religion mention” so that they know to block the tags if they don’t wanna see it, and then I save my long rants on Christian headcanons and stuff like that for private DM’s and discord conversations with mutuals who are interested in that. It’s just something I do to try to be respectful and acknowledge that while this is something that’s brought a lot of joy and positivity in my life, not everyone has experienced it that way, and they might not want to see that on their dash, and it can be genuinely triggering for people.

But while this seemed like a good idea at the time, I now realize why you probably feel the need to ask about my religious background, which is why I feel obligated to answer your question. Because… most people who reblog posts with “tw religion” have something to say against it, but people who like religion will just reblog the post. Which I now realize, upon reflection, leads to a lot of Christian creators getting notifications like “uh oh! Someone reblogged your art with the hashtag “tw religion” wonder what rant they have against you” and then they check and it’s just me going “wow nice art, Happy Easter and God Bless You, you’re incredibly talented 🥰, and also TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS CONTENT!” and on the flip side it’s also probably weird for everyone who sees the hashtag “tw religion” and is like “haha…nice. A rant against faith. I gotta see this!” only to click on the post and see some really well drawn art of Jesus and the children with a ton of positivity. So um… sorry for confusion?

To make a long story short, yes, I’m Christian, but this blog is mostly fandom content, that’s why I created it and that’s what I’m here for. I do incorporate a lot of Christian themes in my fic writing just like I incorporate elements of my neurodivergence into my writing as well, but my writing is not explicitly Christian, anyone can enjoy it. You’re allowed to like things by different groups that you are not part of while still not completely agreeing with everything that particular group believes. I promise it’s okay, that’s how humans work, none of us will ever think completely alike, but we can still enjoy each other’s stuff sometimes. I promise the world won’t end because you liked a fanfic where I wrote Nicholas’ speech to Martina about forgiveness and how she’s still a good person to parallel God’s mercy and love for us, you can still like it and like the message while not agreeing with my idea of who God is or that there even is a God at all. Most if not all the characters in Wolf 359 are atheists, and I still enjoy the podcast (though I will note before people come in my comments about this, yes, there is obviously some nuance to this atheism as canonically Minkowski is culturally Christian, Doug kinda knows the our father and probably got dragged to church on Christmas/his birthday and Easter at some point, Daniel Jacobi’s name has Jewish origins so the character likely has some Jewish background, Maxwell is ex-evangelical, Hera strikes me as spiritual but not religious, Cutter and Pryce are atheists who left religion but kept all the toxic parts so they could make themselves gods, and this last one actually has no canon evidence whatsoever, but I firmly believe that Kepler is specifically agnostic not atheist, and he goes out of his way to emphasize this by saying stuff like “due to the limits of the human mind, we can never really know the truth about the big picture” or something like that, but I know he has a speech about it. No disrespect to my agnostic followers, but unfortunately I think Kepler would do this).

That tangent aside, I will end by saying this. I have all sorts of people following this blog: Christians, atheists, people of other faiths, members of the LGBTQ+ community, neurodivergent folks, BIPOC, and more, and they followed me for my unhinged rants and fandom content. They didn’t come here to have their identities and beliefs bashed, and due to the fandoms I am in, many of them are also minors. And I am so, so, scared about what my reply to this anon might bring to this blog, no matter the answer, so let me be very clear: if you use this post, or any of my posts, to spread hate and negatively towards anybody, you’re blocked. I have already done this a few times when I’ve seen it around tumblr. If you think it was a mistake, let me know, but I’m not exposing my young followers to that. That’s not gonna help anybody, and there are so many better things you could be doing with your time.

With that said, if the tagging system is not working out, and you’d prefer I put the religious stuff on a side blog my non-Christian followers can block while still enjoying my usual content on the main, I can do that too. Whatever makes it easier for y’all.

*this would be a bummer, because I just hit an even 200, which is tricky to do when all you got is two of the tiniest fandoms alive and not much else. But look after yourself, I wish you well, and I’ll get over it.

#Bods Answers #I’m not dumb enough to put fandom tags on this #Not for all the money in the world #Bods Polls #tw religion #tw religion mention #Long post

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ink-on-the-brink · 1 year

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There's a lot to explain here so I'm going to try and keep it short and straight to the point.

Hi. I'm not the original owner of this account. I go by Ink and I'm one of TZ's IRL friends. I've been given permission by TZ to use this account.

Let me give you guys the low down of the situation. I'm an avid TF2 fan and writer! In fact I have sort of been a co-writer with TZ on quite a few fics. Those being Dark Nights Come with a Cost, Monsters and Men and a few short stories here and there along with a bunch of proofreading! I wasn't really into fandom and stuff though so she usually took the reigns when it came to posting. I asked that she didn't mention me.

This leads me to why I'm here. You guys know by now that she's been taking a lot of shit from people here and has abandoned the account because if it. She only told me a few weeks ago and I admit I was a little bummed out. She often sent me screenshots of things people said that she found funny or interesting and I delighted in seeing people so excited over our work, especially because I don't really share these stories with anyone else besides you guys and her. After a bit of thinking I asked if maybe I could take over the account. She's warned me about the types of things she sometimes get sent but I figured I could handle it. After a bit she gave me the account!

So hello readers, I'm gonna be your main author now! TZ might proofread or do some editing here and there, but for the most part she's moved on to other things.

I'm going to let you guys know this now. All of this is going to be new to me. So if I break any sort of internet rules or get a bit overwhelmed from time to time know that I'm trying to figure this stuff out as I go. TZ said that I can go to her if I get a little confused so I think I'll at least be able to get the gist of it down.

I'm going to give this post a week grace period before I change anything on the account or post any fics, just so people don't get too confused about this change. When that week is up I'm going to change the name and stuff so don't get confused by that either. For now asks are open for any questions you guys might have. I'm willing to answer pretty much whatever. And I'll also be going through older asks with TZ tomorrow so she can talk to you guys without having to see the other stuff in her ask box so look foward to that!

I hope I'm able to live up to the expectations TZ set!

#tf2 #tf2 x reader

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karatekels · 5 months

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TIGmas Day #3 – Clear As Mud

Hello and happy third day of TIGmas, everyone – and sorry I’m late! Today’s story is dedicated to @senka-mesecine (aka @terrence-silver), whose stories are always among my favourites! This is actually an idea that I initially wanted to explore during Dark Desires October that I couldn’t get to in time. I’ll admit that the idea was heavily inspired by senka’s deliciously dark writing, so when she asked for this to be her TIGmas story I was over the moon! I hope you this story was worth the wait!

All that being said, this story is very dark and in no way full of Christmas cheer.

Summary: You’ve tried to get Terry to open up about his time in Vietnam on more than one occasion, and while he’s been doing his best to help you understand, he ultimately decides that the best way to help you is to put you through something similar, hunting you in the middle of a forest at sunset.

TW: Discussions of PTSD, stalking (more like hunting), horror, rough sex, graphic sex, outdoor sex, dubcon/(consensual) non-consent (it’s really hard to tell how much say anyone has when it comes to being involved with Terry Silver, after all – regardless, it’s not something I condone irl)

Note: Sections in italics are flashbacks to previous conversations about the war.

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Clear as Mud

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This was hell.

“War is hell,” he had told you countless times before – he’d made use of the cliched saying on numerous occasions, but it had always rung hollow, an expression rendered meaningless from general overuse.

But now, trudging through the thick, muddy woods surrounding Terry’s chateau in the mountains in the hot, humid night, you think you’re beginning to understand that the saying was in no way hyperbole.

“How many times do we have to have this discussion, Y/N!? I told you, I don’t want to have this conversation,” Terry had growled, his body visibly thrumming with tension as he tried to keep himself under control. You give him a pitying expression, your heart going out to him, but you’re resolute in your pursuit to get him to talk about his trauma.

“Vietnam was such a significant time in your life, Terry. I know you’ve got a lot of repressed to protect yourself, but if you’re not willing to see a therapist about it, you have to at least try to let me in,” you beg, trying to deescalate and keep him calm, reaching for his hand. He moves out of your reach in a quick, jarring movement, his eyes wild and angry, and you try not to let it upset you too much.

“It’s okay, Terry. I’m not upset, and I’m not scared of you. I know that you’ve killed people, a–”

Terry interrupts you with a guttural noise, pushing you against the wall roughly. You stay perfectly still.

“See, that’s where you’re wrong, baby girl. You don’t know,” he murmurs quietly, pressing his body tightly against yours, overwhelming your senses. “We didn’t ‘kill people’; we eliminated obstacles,” he says flatly, stroking your hair absent-mindedly while he glares at something off in some imagined distance.

“Some with weapons pointed at you, many without. Men, women, children, we tried not to pay that much attention. It’s when you see them as people that you start to think, so we were trained to use our trigger fingers, not our brains.”

Despite being sandwiched between the wall and Terry’s chest, your body still finds a way to tremble with fear, though you try to suppress it.

“War is hell, Y/N,” he says, smiling sardonically at the cliché, his grip on your hip and your throat tightening; you don’t even remember him starting to choke you, but you find the edges of your vision getting blurry. “Not because you’re being shot at constantly, watching your brothers die, losing your will to live, but because you find yourself doing the same thing right back to somebody else.”

Terry reaches between your bodies to his belt, and you feel yourself tense minutely, knowing he would notice. He always needed to fuck you after talking about the War; he said that you helped him forget, even though what you desperately wanted was for him to remember, to work through it, to ease his conscience.

Sure enough, he’s got you slid up the wall, your legs around him as he fucks you deep and rough like he’s trying to crawl into your body. You do your best to hold on, every noise that passes your lips indistinguishable as either a moan or a whimper, Terry whispering nonsense into your hair as he chases after his orgasm like a man possessed.

“Makes you wonder if you’re the damned or the Devil,” he pants in your ear, licking up the single tear that trails down your cheek.

A branch snaps somewhere close by and you attempt to stifle the cry of pure, primal fear that bursts forth from your lips. Your body aches from the tension of holding still, freezing as every part of you strains to hear him, to see any hint of movement through the thick foliage.

He had proposed to you three nights ago, the heavy ring now safely on your bedside table – he’d suggestedthat you remove it during tonight’s… activities. Terry has always been mercurial, but this sudden turn from lavishing you with extravagant gifts and his love as you celebrated your engagement to outright hunting you through the forest for sport is demented, not to mention terrifying.

You aren’t sure what his goal is, what the end point will be, how you’ll know that it’s finally over. Does he mean to hunt you forever?

Can you even be considered ‘prey’ if you’ve willingly walked into the trap he set for you, and continue to stay in with full awareness and knowledge?

The sun continues to set, bathing the woods in bloodred light.

“You could be hiding in the muck, in a hole in the ground blown open by landmines for hours, days even,” Terry had told you, his gaze hardening as he looked off into nothing. “You’re scared to breathe, scared to feel sunlight on your skin – it leaves you exposed. Then you watch your friends get picked off like flies, bullets in their brains or landmines turning them into mulch.”

You try to force yourself to breathe slowly, deeply, regularly, but quietly; Terry would pick up on the slightest hint of noise on the wind. The small part of you that wants to just stand out in the open and let him find you – to end this – is drowned out by the thudding of your own heartbeat in your ears. You know there’s no reasoning with him; you can’t even reason with yourself.

You hear a piercing whistle from Terry’s lips, a chilling tune that echoes through the mountains that make your hair stands on end; at least, the hair not plastered to your skin by the thick mud smattered across your body. Unable to help yourself, you flee from your hiding spot, aimlessly sprinting, your sense of direction narrowing to just away.

“Fear keeps you alert, keeps you sharp. Keeps you alive.”

You hear his pounding footsteps coming after you, crunching leaves and twigs underfoot. You know how silently he can move; he’s stomping around just to scare you.

It’s working.

Your shirt snags, caught on another branch, and this time you just tear it off, leaving the tattered scrap of fabric behind you, dangling like a flag at half-mast. Your torso now bare, the cuts from your previous run-ins with the foliage are exposed to the air, stinging faintly. You wonder if he can taste your blood in the air, like a shark; it wouldn’t surprise you at this point. Nothing could.

“They were chameleons, blending into the jungle to lie in wait. We couldn’t see ‘em even five feet in front of us, sometimes. I learned to be a ghost, but in the end it still wasn’t enough – none of it mattered. Except I had John.”

You wonder if John had ever stalked his significant other – or anyone, for that matter – through the forest for his own amusement. Somehow, you doubted it. And while you’d always had a healthy dose of fear for the only man who could keep Terry Silver in line, at this moment you wish more than anything that it was Kreese hunting you instead. At least he could be reasoned with.

As if to prove your point, Terry lets out a maniacal cackle that scares off the remaining birds, and you dive behind a fallen log, pressing yourself against it in the hopes of avoiding detection. The thick mud is chilly on your bare skin yet you find you want to burrow deeper into the puddle to conceal yourself, and would if the noise wouldn’t attract his attention.

Terry enters your line of sight, so silently you wouldn’t have known he was there unless you were looking right at him, and you narrow your eyes into slits, not wanting so much as a glimmer of light reflecting off of them to give you away. Watching the fluid, controlled way that his massive body moves through the trees as he hunts you, you’re reminded of the xenomorph; something so big shouldn’t be able to move so smoothly, so silently.

He finally moves out of your field of view, but you wait a good minute or two before daring to breathe normally. You shakily get to your feet, looking around you for Terry and for any indication of which way the house is; you’re completely disoriented on the side of this godforsaken mountain. You have to squint due to the fading sunlight, and that’s when you see him, calmly surveying you from the distance while leaned up against a tree, his mouth twisted into a smile. Despite the low light, his eyes seem to glint at you from across the clearing.

“T-Terry!” you exclaim, your voice an octave higher than normal. He makes no move towards you or to answer your question, his head still cocked to the side as he observes you with interest.

“Terry, please stop this!” you beg, your arms wrapped around yourself. He chuckles quietly in response, the low sound creeping across the space between you and sending shivers down your spine.

“Oh, doll, that’s not how this works!” he tells you with a cold laugh. “There is no surrender.”

“What do you want from me, Terry?!” you exclaim, your voice hoarse with fear. “I just want this to be over!”

“It’ll be over when there’s only one man left standing,” he explains patiently, as though it was obvious. “When there’s a winner and a loser and the spoils of war are taken.”

You have no idea what that means, but you’re certain it’s nothing good.

“You either hunt or you are the hunted, Y/N,” he leers at you, finally moving to crouch into a runner’s stance that has you immediately stumbling back and away from him. “Get back to the house and I may show you some mercy.”

You cling to the likely empty promise like a lifeline, turning away and sprinting as fast as you can. You’re not even sure if you’re running in the right direction; he could be herding you somewhere else. Still, you have no choice but to keep moving forward, sensing him rapidly closing the distance between you.

But in the end, it doesn’t matter. You step down and feel something tighten around your ankle, the snare trap set off and lifting you into the air with a sickening crack of your ankle that has you screaming out in pain. Terry stops running, leisurely walking up to your dangling form and howling in victory; the hunt is over.

“I was so hoping you would run into one of these,” he confesses breathlessly, eyes bright as he takes you in, crouching down to be closer to your eye level. “You know what it does to me to see you helpless, Y/N,” he adds with a feral expression, his tone suggesting that you were intentionally tempting him.

“Terry, please!” you whimper up at him, tears blurring your vision as they slide around your eyes to drip off of your forehead and onto the forest floor. “I think my ankle is broken!”

“I’ll take care of it,” he says dismissively, but you do believe him. “For now, let me take you in.”

You do your best to ignore the pain and keep quiet as you hang by one leg, your body rotating slowly like it knew that Terry wanted to stare at you. As you slowly swing back around to face him again, you see he has pulled out his cock, pumping his shaft with a gloved hand. Seeing you watching, he closes the distance between you, reaching up above your ankle to steady the rope and keep you from spinning.

“Open,” he demands with a firm tap to your cheek, his hips level with your face. You suspect he had measured it out in advance for the express purpose of having you blow him while caught in a boobytrap.

“Terry, it hurts!” you manage to get out before he’s thrust himself inside your mouth. You reflexively stop trying to speak and relax your throat; he has trained you well.

“Spoils of war, doll. Gonna need you to earn your freedom,” he jokes, thrusting himself fully into you until you’re choking around his cock before releasing you, allowing you to catch your breath for a brief moment. “Now suck.”

You obey, just trying to focus on getting free before all the blood rushes to your head, the forest silent save for the lewd, wet noises coming from your mouth around his dick and Terry’s occasional grunt of pleasure.

“It’s not the same, you know,” he murmurs quietly after a prolonged silence. “You’ll never understand what it was like being there, no matter how many times I try to tell you, try to show you.”

So that’s what this was all about, you realize with equal parts pity and dread. He had grown weary of trying to explain his time during the War to you, and was trying to show you instead.

Christ, he was fucked up.

Somehow, in spite of everything, it only strengthens your resolve to help him.

“You’ll never know what it’s like, to be faced with someone and not know if they’re with you or against you, and only having a fucking second to decide!” he snarls while fucking your face, his large hands holding your body steady, fingernails digging in past the mud and into your flesh.

Next thing you know, he’s lifting your body up, cradling you against his chest, one hand reaching up and yanking the trap free from the branch in one sharp pull, lowering you both to the ground and crawling on top of you.

“But you don’t need to know it, baby,” he continues, though you’re unsure how much he’s really talking to you at this point. His hands tear at your pants, pushing them and your underwear down to your knees, pointedly not exacerbating your ankle. He wasn’t completely out of his mind, then. Why couldn’t he just talk about his issues? This perverse simulation is just creating issues of your own.

“You don’t need to know it,” he repeats, looking down at you, muddy and scratched and hurting, like you were his salvation. He pushes your knees to either side, working his length inside of you and pushing you further into the ground. You feel tree roots press into your back, bound to give you bruises.

“I’m gonna keep you from all of that shit; gonna keep you safe, babygirl,” he pants, breath hot against your neck as he ruts into you. You find yourself clinging to him desperately, nails digging into his broad shoulders as you cry out into the night – for yourself, for him, for your pleasure.

“You’re my saving grace, baby, my own little Lady Liberty,” he coos, baring his teeth all the while. “Flip over for me.”

You roll onto your belly, gritting your teeth against the pain radiating from your ankle as you do so, and push your ass up towards him. Terry is immediately on you again, his arms bracing himself on either side of you as he presses against you, fucking you into the mud with an animalistic growl.

“You save me just how you are, just like this,” he hisses, punctuating each word with a brutal thrust that has you groaning into the soft earth against your lips. “And you’re gonna stay just like this, sweet and warm and mine, my little haven, my little sweet spot, isn’t that right baby?”

“YES!” you howl, throwing your head back as you dig your nails into the dirt, bracing yourself as he pounds into you. “Let it out, let me take it for you!”

Your words seem to make Terry snap; he pushes your face down into the mud, hips hammering against yours hard and fast and deep until he’s coming hard inside you with a guttural snarl.

Fisting your hair, he pulls your head up and turns it to the side to let you breathe, even as he collapses on top of you. You gasp for breath, trying to wipe the mud off of your face, but it’s hopeless and you give up after a moment, stroking Terry’s arm where it’s wrapped around you.

Eventually Terry sits up, tucking himself back into his pants, somehow still barely muddy, and looks around the forest floor. He finds a thick branch, snapping it into pieces, and sets about making a splint for your ankle, not saying a word. You observe him quietly, the odd wince escaping you as he secures the splint to your foot. Satisfied with his work for the time being, he shrugs off his jacket, wrapping your naked body with it to get you warm before lifting you into his arms, mindful of your injured leg.

“Thank you,” you offer quietly, looking down at your foot instead of up at him as he carries you back home. You’re nearly embarrassed at how close you were this whole time. Terry adjusts you, his gaze never faltering as he moves you to look him in the eye.

“Thank you, my love,” he returns with a sly grin. “For helping me talk things out,” he clarifies, letting out a laugh at his twisted euphemism.

You don’t see the humour in the situation, but won’t be pushing him to open up about the War again for the foreseeable future.

---

This is far and away the darkest thing you can expect from me this month, I promise! That said, I can’t say I’d mind something in this vein as a Christmas present… 🥵

#Thomas Ian Griffith #Terry Silver #Terry Silver x Reader #KarateKid3 #Karate Kid Part 3 #tkk3 #Dark Desires October #TIGmas #12 Days of TIGmas #Smut #karate kid #kk3 #the karate kid 3

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from-izzy · 4 months

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Your moots as TBZ ships???

hi anon! thank you for sending this in! 💖 sorry it took a while (i think this took more than a fortnight i'm so sorry 😭) because i had to think about it!! i'm doing ones that i talk to frequently or once in a while! to all my moots that i haven't/barely talked to, hmu! (i'm sorry that i'm too shy 😭)

welcome to another episode of '😭-izzy-doesn't-know-how-to-explain-things-and-she's-very-sorry-about-it'

@cloverdaisies - juric

so! you know how juyeon adores eric and juyeon is (arguably) eric's favourite hyung? 😊 they do everything together and is so comfortable around each other despite their age gap? 🥹 well, i mean clo and i are the same age but since around 2022, clo has always just been a writer to me. then out of nowhere, in the spur of the moment and a sudden hit of confidence i told myself "omg! 👀 what if...i just text cloverdaisies, say my greetings, thanks then disappear? if she doesn't respond then alright, at least i said whatever i had to say." yeah...it went well! very well! i love clo! 🤍 so much! 🤍🤍 and i hope she knows that!

@heemingyu - nyusun

ok so...we're just a tiny bit chaotic? 🤷🏻‍♀️ just a tiny bit 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ i think we hide it quite well in group chats (...that's a lie) but when we're on dms...oh yeah...the world really isn't ready for us when we meet 🤭 like sunwoo who adores new and annoys him all the time, i admit that i do it to sana too. but at the same time, like new who is always teasing sunwoo and being crackheads together, that's sana to me 😁 it's just...yeah...i feel like for the sake of world peace, we probably shouldn't meet? and sana should most definitely should not drive 🚗 (just like what new said in his bubble!)

@justalildumpling - sunric

my response to this: so roode 😭 just absolutely roode 😭😭 the audacity to even--but this is saur chaotic sibling energy 🤣 i get what you mean now when you say that we're more like sunwoo and eric rather than an old married couple like jaemin and jeno fr 😮 but also j! aussie aussie aussie! i finally have another friend from aussie that i can annoy if i do come to you (or you come to me...but i don't think j likes me that much though so...) 😟 life is...sad...and i get bullied by j all the time...sigh...☹️

@littleroaes - ppangcob

hmmm...i'll be honest with you, i'm not too sure how to explain this 😭 but! i think we just radiate this kind of energy! 😊 we are both very shy at first and dora is the same as well (in a good way! i will always protect you! 🫂 especially from sana, i promise!) ppangcob is the shy duo of tbz but at the same time, very comfy around each other and others when you get to know them well 🤗 just from our dms and interactions, dora is so silly and funny like girl! thanks for being my first mutual! 💕

@sungbeam - sunkyu

there ain't a lot of words but I'M SO SORRY FOR THE MOMENTARY PAIN AND CONFUSION THAT I PUT YOU THROUGH UMMMM 😭😭 but i am still going to hide (after this, let me say my words first) 🫡 just like sunwoo who auditioned for the company because he saw changmin...that's it! ok bye! i'm leaving! see you!! 😁

@winterchimez - kevcob

...do i need to explain this though? 🤔 but ok i guess i'll do it. so, like i mentioned, i think we're a different kind of soulmate dynamic where you get bullied and teased 😁 and i'm the one that teases you 😁😁 (ily i swear) kind of like kevcob as well 💕 but remember that time when we texted and we sent the same idea and question at the same time?? 🤗 like huh?? no one that i know irl does the things that i do?? this dynamic is so new to me...but i'm so ready for it 🥹 also, what are you waiting for? the stars have spoken? ⭐ book a flight ✈️ to where i am please and thank yew!

@wuahae - bbangju

ok so hear me out 😭 i don't really know how to explain this one either but! just the times when i would cry in vc 🥹 also ask help or something and cat would be like "yes, i have the solution." 🥹 but i'm also just reminded of that time in the concert when younghoon was reading his speech and crying but juyeon was like "it's okay, take your time" 🫂 i just have a feeling cat would do that tbh. we haven't talked much recently but i love you and i hope life is treating you well, cat! 💖

@zzoguri - cobric

me is the crying, emotional mess 😭😭 and moni is the parent that is intently listening to the child, putting in reassuring comments 💬 and trying to calm me down, chipping in their own experiences 🗨️ and telling me that they understand 🫂 moni has always been like that since day 1. i guess it really is true that we're not really strangers 🥹 sorry that we haven't talked much! i do miss you and i hope you're doing well!

#📣 izzy's tag games!#😭 izzy doesn't know how to explain things and she's very sorry about it #🤭 a peak into izzy's thoughts #clo 🎧🤍#sana ☘️🐝#j 🦝🍚#dora 💌💜#beam ✈️🦆#ally my soulmate ❄️🎶#cat 🍮💤#moni 🫶🍊

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theragethatisdesire · 8 months

Note

i’m sorry ur not feeling well 🥺💗 sending you positive vibes tonight!!

for the slumber party plz tell me allll about your favourite character that you don’t currently write about 🙊 i wanna hear all the secret deets

HEY TIFFFFF i appreciate it :( i hope i'm not like being annoying venting on here i'm just so miz and i know my irls are sick of hearing it lolol anyways!!!!

okay my current obsession is gojo. and bc i haven't actually started the fic yet, i don't technically write for him often, only per request. does that count? idk i wanna talk ab gojo lol

just gonna throw everything below a cut because idk where i'm headed with this. minors stay away!

this is like, canonical, but gojo's so fucking annoying LMAO like i just know he is the most obnoxious, can't-sit-still, sarcastic asshole on the planet. he really makes it hard to love him sometimes.

this....is not a spoiler for a fic i'm def not writing (wink wink) but i just don't think gojo could really properly fall for someone who was not powerful. like i think part of his distance from others is his (admitted) narcissism that is somewhat well-earned considering he is....gojo fucking satoru. he needs someone that is at least somewhat towards the top of their ranks in whatever they do.

i also feel like gojo would be encouraging to a fault? like always pushing you further towards your goals, stepping in obnoxiously if your boss doesn't notice you've been working your ass off for a promotion (again, annoying). like he won't rest until you've made progress.

gojo also gets baby girl-ified WAY too much

like hear me out

we see him through the eyes of the kids/around his students in most of s1, and that's not to say he doesn't have the potential to be a playful, lighthearted person *when he wants to be*

but remember that scene of him talking to the jujustu higher-up where the guy tells him to watch his mouth and gojo laughs in his fucking face??

he's an egotistical, all-powerful, ballsy maniac. like gojo is not braiding your hair and cooing in your ear 24/7.

he is slowly backing you into a wall and taking what he wants from you. like sorry he just is.

also gojo strikes me as someone who is ....nasty. like, blood and knife play, gun play, psychopathic kind of nasty in the bedroom. idk if i would personally ever write that, but he's been through so much and seen so much gore you know that that's fucked with his....tastes, so to speak

i do think however that gojo would be absolutely devoted to his partner

like it would take him forever to come around and accept that he now felt responsible for protecting yet another person and that he had accidentally formed a connection (i see gojo as also having a very weird relationship with his humanity vs. his divinity but more on that another time)

but once he's around? he's in it for life. i mean, even if you don't ship stsg, you must acknowledge that gojo has never been willing to truly let geto go. he couldn't kill him, refused to believe geto had done that even though geto was showing signs of deteriorating mentally.

he's the same way with his partner. good luck breaking up with gojo because it's going to be a years long process.

gojo loves someone who can push back at him. he doesn't want an entirely submissive partner (kinda like eren!)

he likes someone who will put him in his place, has a sharp tongue, isn't afraid to stand up for themselves or others.

love language is absolutely gift-giving like that man has to spoil his partner he can't help it

size kink. turns his infinity on mid-sex to punish you. wants to have sex where he stands overlooking tokyo in the s1 opening. always takes the blindfold off during sex. huge public sex guy. i said what i said. it's hard being correct.

i could literally go on for HOURS tiff you have no idea the grip this man has on me. i cannot wait to write this fic!!!!!!!! ah!!!!!

thanks for coming to my slumber party lovie kisses from me to u :)

#rage.rambles #gojo #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru headcanons #tiff.moot #slumber party

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jesncin · 2 months

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5 days long anon again. Yeah, it took a while because I kept reworking and trying to find the right words. words are hard. Plus anxiety. Constantly worrying if it would be right or sound right. Right now I'm riding the high of "it WAS fine!!" so I'm feeling more confident in sending this.

The whole "oooh superhero lied to someone how bad" when it's about their identity? One thing I clipped from the previous ask was talking about how of course a hero should not disclose their civilian ID because that would put any family or friends in danger. A reporter SHOULD understand that! Or at least a kind one. Of course Clark wouldn't be going around telling people if only because he wants to keep his parents safe. Yet you can't look me in the face and tell me that the Kents wouldn't be leery about telling people their son's origins as an alien regardless of when the story is set because technically? Illegal immigrant baby. Illegal immigrant alien baby, whom any spooky group (military/research/???) might want to get their greasy mitts on. I can see that kind of worry leaving marks on him too, even though he is trying to be kind and good.

Maybe it was "too soon" but Kal-el is talking to someone he's grown to know as both Clark Kent and Superman. Who he feels he can take that risk with. And with something... not small, exactly, but not as harmful to his life as he lives it on Earth? It's not quite a test of trust because that would be too calculated for it but it is something more honest and raw and the little voice in the back of the head going "do you understand? do I understand?".

"I've had to justify fanon to canon" is... odd. Have you had to with the Martians or is it specifically your take on Lois? I admit I haven't been able to read all the comics and random sketches yet but everything I've seen has been built on the trend of compassion and care whether it is for it or in spite of it. ...and sexy abs. (Rudy.)

Run out of steam/focus so hope you have a good night again.

Hiya 5 days anon (Here I am responding now after the strike)! And no worries, I appreciate people taking their time thinking of what to say.

Right! Even without any Superhero-level fantasy stuff- irl journalists write under pseudonyms or protect the privacy of the people they're interviewing all the time (Lois did this in Girl Taking Over!!). This notion that reporters are Kantian "Lying Is Always Bad No Matter What" people is frankly a caricature. Fun for silver age shenanigans, but not if you want your story to have any sort of depth. And yeah! Clark is an illegal immigrant baby. It shouldn't take much imagination to see why he and the Kents would want to keep that a secret (alas some stories think otherwise- I can't help but call the emotional intelligence of the characters into question at that point).

Yeah! I don't imagine Superman telling Lois his Kryptonian name as something pre-meditated, it's very spur of the moment trust. The idea is that he's not ready to disclose his civilian identity yet, but he is trusting Liando with something far more personal.

It's mostly been my Superman stuff. I don't post my Martian art on twidder especially since well. I've always gotten one or two racist comments on my Clois comics but the Private Interview comic just unleashed the floodgate for racist comments. If I get that much heat for a cishet interracial couple, you can imagine how gross people would be to my Martian stuff. There's a portion of cape fandom that just doesn't understand fanon or interpretations and are vehemently against any sort of change. So I get silly comments asking me to justify the change ("Why is Lois Black??") or backhanded compliments hailing me as "the exception to racebends". It's annoying, but in the end the comic really wasn't for them. It's for people like y'all who get it! (like Rudy)

Thank you and good day/night!

#askjesncin #i got interviewed by a journalist one time and she asked some personal questions I wasn't comfortable responding to or making public.#so I told her and she apologized and left it out of the article. Instead of. I dunno. hunting me down trying to dox me

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magici-if · 10 months

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Martin zoning out is so sad 😭 he's fr a sad wet cat 😔, but would any of the Ro's fight back to gain Mc's affection again? (Beaides dem, of course, seeing as her way would be gift giving) what if they realize their attempts are actually working?

a sad wet cat is so accurate for Martin lmfao (referring to this post)

i wrote a whole papyrus for echo cus I was like “hear me out-” as legit NO ONE agreed w me that Echo would try to regain MCs affection. idc my friends don't know her like i do

(everyone is here, i just changed the order)

Would give up/respect MC's wishes:

Dominic, Harley, Martin

Dominic is very passive in general (there's a joke somewhere), it's not that he wouldn't make the first move, but if MC moves on and says they don't have feelings for him anymore, he'll respect that and find ways to cope. It's ingrained in him: the thought that he can somehow change MC's mind or affect the outcome is 100% foreign to him.

She'd be devastated by it, but Harley would respect MC until the end and long for the moment her feelings would also fade away. What she wants most of all is to be with MC, and if that can't happen in a relationship, she'll take all she can get and be a good friend to them.

Martin is a gentleman: it would hurt him a lot, but he'd definitely give up on the whole situation and acknowledge that MC has moved on & he should too. Unlike Dominic, it's also a matter of insecurity for him. He feels that he lost his chance forever: he somehow made MC like him once, but that 'mistake' won't happen twice, in his mind.

Would try to regain MC's affection:

Demetra, Echo, Evander

As I said, Demetra would immediately activate and retrace all the steps that led to MC liking her. She would be very methodical about it, such as by getting MC the book they said they really wanted to read, watching the movie MC is obsessed with at the moment so they can talk about it, etc.

If she realised her attempts were working, she'd straight-up admit her feelings.

She'd have a blast if MC specifically asked her what she was doing, squinting their eyes at her. "Just trying to get you to like me again.", she'd very shamelessly answer. wink wink

If one could ghost someone irl, that's what Echo would do, at least in the beginning. Again, she'd mostly avoid MC, the thought of trying to regain their affection not even crossing her mind.

However, she would probably either 'slip up' and tell MC about her feelings in the heat of the moment, or decide to tell them to gain closure or get it off her chest. She may avoid MC in the beginning, but at the end of the day, she misses them and longs for their presence.

Once the cat's out the bag, her friends will have definitely succeeded in hyping her up to do this and that to regain MC's affection. After realising her attempts might be actually working (after a lot of convincing on her friends' part) she'd ask them out and confess her feelings...again.

A joint or a few shots beforehand, MC and Echo sitting on the grass, Echo with a paper in hand. She'd either read it out loud or pass it to MC, so they could read it while she'd hide her face in her arms.

And if MC was unhinged enough to read it out loud-

Evander would treat it like a huge joke to save face; but under all the humour, he'd hide his real feelings. He would firstly bring it up under the disguise of a funny one-liner; then go radio silent about it, and never mention it again after realising MC has moved on.

He would still try to regain their affection, though in his own special little way. He'd try to use his trademark jokes and tease MC a lot about everything, even the dumbest things. He would act like a caricature of himself, thinking that's what made MC like them in the first place, so he'd pump the Evanderness up to 100.

If he noticed his attempts to be working, he'd go back to the 'normal' Evander; he'd joke about liking MC and stop annoying them on purpose so much. He still wouldn't do anything too direct though, at most he'd sent 'ironic' pics of him holding a rose with his teeth (he thinks he's hilarious) and ask MC to hang out a lot.

#appreciate the cats pls #if wip #interactive fiction #magici: evander #magici: demetra #magici: martin #magici: harley #magici: echo #magici: dominic

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crystalsamethyst · 4 months

Text

I have let myself be extremely vulnerable recently and I don't know if it's something people really care about but I'm going to talk about it.

The fact that I've been sharing the whole picture of who I am across several platforms is something I never thought I'd be able to do. There has been so much embarrassment and shame in my personal life over me writing fanfiction and latching on to series that I could barely even admit it out loud even though it was my entire sense of self. I couldn't talk about what I was writing. I couldn't share it. Even if people were genuinely interested, I'd have a panic attack thinking their perception of me would be altered and I'd lose everything.

Sharing what I write is extremely difficult because on one hand, it's a part of me, but on the other hand, there are things I have to incorporate for the stories that don't represent me at all and I'm terrified of people coming to the wrong conclusions about who I am as a person. Even if the writing is 100% aligned with what I wanted for it, that still doesn't mean it's always who I am or what I like or approve of for real life.

I also never thought of myself as a 'real writer' until I finished my own original book since fanfiction 'doesn't count' (in my irl world).

My username on fanfiction sites is different than the ones I share things about my actual life on and it will probably stay that way. It always felt like such a disconnect but I intended to stay anonymous, post what I wanted to, and not get found by a select few people who seemed to be able to find and shame me wherever I went (still found me on some of the sites but by then they didn't hold power over me at least)

So recently, I've been linking my work which is on AO3 under the same username I use for all sites I've posted fanfics on. I've even put direct links to my AO3 in some of my online profiles. There's a lot of my old work out there that I don't want to be represented by but someone liked it so I'm not going to take them down.

This is a very vulnerable process for me, admitting that I am a person and here is what I like and here is what I write. It might take a while until I'm comfortable sharing everything I wanted to post, but if I eventually do, I really hope people won't come after me for it (super unlikely scenario but, anxiety). I'm not scared of online hate, but I'm terrified of losing the respect and friendships of those I've connected with even if there is nothing even 'socially' wrong with the stories.

I really appreciate the support I've gotten so far. Especially with the TGCF community. I've had to learn a lot on my own since I started posting things like 13 years ago, and I'm still figuring out AO3 and learning new terms. I sometimes feel like a new young fan just now learning how the internet works.

I've been isolated a lot of my life and have several mental health issues plus autism so I'm super knowledgeable in some areas but completely in the dark in others that might seem incredibly obvious and commonly known, and it's the same for fandoms and websites. (I've actually been apparently using Tumblr wrong this whole time too for the like system. I've been using it mostly as bookmarks or read laters. Whoops.)

On a lesser note, I also never imagined I would start drawing again. I actually used to be pretty good at it but again, was shamed and ridiculed for a lot and compared to others so I stopped for a really long time. I'm glad I can share it without being tooooo embarrassed anymore.

It means a lot to me to be so supported, and I would tag a few of you specifically but I don't want you guys to feel called out. But please know that your support and enthusiasm means the world to me and I appreciate and care about you very much. Thank you for helping me feel safe while I'm letting myself be vulnerable.

#personal #writing #vulnerability #community #thank you #<3

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sobeksewerrat · 8 months

Text

Why I am literally Drew and he's literally me and we are the same.

aka: me trying to justify why i am a Drew kinnie even though I don't really need to-

uh, word of warning, this is a long list.

HERE:

We both have brown eyes and tan skin (not really valid point but worth mentioning)

We both have one specific black hoodie we really like (again, not valid, but sure)

We have the worst luck with blondes (will not elaborate)

We both love/used to love Zoey (Zoey my queeeeeen)

We were both cheated on ✨✨(will not elaborate x2)

I AM RICH ✨✨✨(not really, but i am amazing)

I like bullying people [jokingly] (especially you, milo /j)

We're both super smart honour students (not humble brag, i am very much smarter than milo)

We both love flexing yet have the most fragile egos ever (unlike the egomaniac, milo)

One of my friends is a jake kinnie (yes, that's you, milo)

My irl friend group is literally exactly 4 cringefail fruitcakes (not a joke fr)

I have an enemy group of 5 (Except THEY bully ME, not the other way around)

We can both sing but don't understand music (ik in canon drew is never mentioned to have been able to sing, but Dosh can, so I am counting it anyway)

We both have weirdly colourful sneakers in the exact same colours (biggest coincidence on this list fr)

✨ family issues✨

We both have an Xbox (again, not very valid, especially since he has a Lunibox)

I just realized we both have grey pants we always wear (i legit didn't notice all of those coincidences in clothing)

Angry issues (yes, i misspelled that on purpose).

We both hate Jake ✨✨✨(and jake kinnies, milo /j)

This is more of a headcanon than anything, but a lot of people agree with me that Drew speaks at least 4 languages, and so do I! (haha, more than you, milo <33)

We're both gay for Liam-

We both take fictional media way too seriously (check out driam rosy edit)

Uh- something i hate admitting but i sorta have to is that I am very stubborn and kinda never try to take accountability- (i should really work on that)

Expression emotions?! Honest communication?! What are you talking about?!

I get a lot of bitches and simps ✨✨✨ /j

I am sure there is more, but this is all I can remember, will probably make a follow-up later. Thanks @jufferingx for making me do this <33

#the music freaks #tmf #tmf drew #drew tmf #sobek freakposting #sewer dump

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fefairys · 6 months

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now ive got quadrants on the brain specifically kismesissitude because i see the general attitude towards "do you use hs quadrants to label ur irl relationships?" as "i have a moirail/understand having a moirail but the black quadrants just dont work for humans, theyre for a fictional species" or "i have a kismesis but its like a joke" and im like lol. lmao even.

i guess it is my troll kinnie ass but the most common crush i get on people is a pitch one lmao.. my relationship with my fiance started as a kismesissitude and slowly morphed into kismoirailsprits over time, but like, we were a healthy kismesissitude and we still are partly kismesisses! idk if yall saw that gay little interaction we just had (scroll a few posts down on my blog lmao) but like we are still antagonistic towards each other a lot and our relationship started with us hating each other and was built around how much we annoyed each other.

its a very specific feeling and emotion to me! because i have dated people and NOT felt that way, too, so its not like "oh but everyones playfully antagonistic to their partners sometimes!" no no no this is so different. because when i was with my last girlfriend, yeah we would tease each other sometimes, but it wasn't the same feeling as Pitch Romance to me. it's a whole different feeling.

i very often get crushes on people where they annoy the hell out of me. i find them attractive, and even charming at times, but most of the time when they talk im like oh my god you are the most annoying person in the world. i want to make out with you about it. pitch feelings are about being ANGRY that you like you someone so much, to me. like "why the fuck do i like you so much when you're always getting on my nerves. why do i want to be around you all the time even though everything you say pisses me off. why do i want to kiss you." lmao. thats my experience at least! and also wanting to annoy them and rile them up in return. thats how i felt about juice at the start of our relationship, and i still have those feelings towards it now, though i also have other feelings like just plain and simple genuine Love and Affection without the annoyance as well. it fluctuates. depends on if we are annoying each other at the moment or not haha

i've told ppl this and they've been like "oh so its like tsundere" and im just like. I GUESS????? but to me it is so different like i feel like tsundere is when you like someone but cant admit it so you act like you hate them (maybe you even believe that you hate them, but truly, you like them) whereas kismesissitude is truly hating someone, finding them annoying and infuriating, but in an exhilarating way. i hate you and you hate me and its fun to annoy each other and watch each other get all mad.

the quadrant i'd personally never feel the need to be part of is the ashen one because its main purpose is to prevent cheating on ur kismesis and its like. well im polyamorous so. lol. i could see it being used in human relationships if its like, someone who functions as your moirail and helps mediate in arguments you have with other people where you/the other person are getting too angry with each other? i guess?

and also like. treating a moiraillegience as monogamous and something you can "cheat on" someone else with is definitely not the way to go imo. i mean im in a pale throuple rn. we call each other moirails because we trust each other more than anyone with talking about our feelings and stuff! but back in the day i remember people literally being like "he said *paps you* to my moirail what the fuck thats MY moirai only *i* can pap them!l" and its like alright calm down...

#personal #wow i sure can talk #this probably has so many typos i cant reread it rn i have to go pick up juice from his gay job

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