#i think cause i listen to more of his artists than anyone else | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

espresseo-cafe · 4 months

Text

life is still beautiful | johnny | ch.6

genre: cappucino, romance, angst, university!au, dad!au, drama, slice of life

pairing: collegestudent!johnny x fem!reader

bean count: 6.8k

warnings: mentions of past traumas, mental health anxieties, breakups and etc.

a/n: it’s quite a long chapter, so take breaks in between if you can ☕️ happy reading! note: this is only a work of fiction, it doesn’t reflect the artists’ personalities in any way.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

never had you ever thought you’d feel something like this again. separation anxiety was also a trait you’ve come to develop at a young age. a pinch ticked your heart when you saw your best friend packing her luggage. it reminded you of the very thing your dad had done in the past.

he mentioned vaguely that he was leaving because of a living nightmare. this was different, yoohyeon was leaving to pursue her dreams. a total different reason.

she pouted at you, feeling sorry to be leaving you behind but she knew you’d still push her to go even if you’d become lonely.

“don’t pout at me like that, or i’ll cry for real now.”

she hugged you tightly, pressing her cheek into yours. “i know ‘cause what will you do without me? but don’t worry, you’ll be okay.”

you don’t know how to thank the heavens that you’ve met someone like her, yoohyeon was literally the sunshine to your withering flower. she was someone who always had your back, someone to listen to your frustrations and aspirations, and most importantly she was a long lost sister you’ve dreaded to have. she felt like family more than anyone else.

“will i?” you blurted out sadly, mirroring the pout she did a few seconds ago.

“of course. you’ve come a long way. and i’m proud with the progress you made.” her eyes smiled and it was contagious, “both physically and mentally.”

blinking your eyes to avoid waterworks, you popped your lips and held her luggage. it was time. “shall we go? eiffel tower’s waiting for you.”

she nodded and you went out of your dorms. as you reached downstairs, minhyun was already there with his car and johnny was with him- the latter’s car parked just behind minhyun’s- said he needed to return the yoohyeon’s blanket he borrowed for youngmin. you looked at her with a raised brow. “don’t be surprised y/n, i know there’s something going on between you two. sneaky lil puppy.”

your heartbeat spiked up, she figured out the crush you had for johnny and you haven’t even told her yet. “i don’t-”

“it’s obvious. i think everyone knows.” she teased, then looking to minhyun. “my ride’s here so i’ll go on first. take care of yourself y/n, promise me that.” the tightness of her hands on your shoulders showed that she meant what she said.

“yeah, you too.” you hugged her and rubbed her back, “don’t have too much fun with the french.”

“the only french i’m kissing is minhyun.” she winked at you, you shrieked and hit her arm for her implication so early in the morning.

you playfully shooed her away and minhyun started the car. johnny stood there silently and waved as well, remembering the favour yoohyeon asked him to do last week:

“can you do me a favour?” yoohyeon asked.

johnny put down the hammer, interested to what she had to say. “yeah sure, ask away.”

yoohyeon curled her tongue, sighing. “you know how i’m going to paris next thursday?”

“mhm. wait it’s next week already?” johnny’s eyes widened, “so you won’t be at youngmin’s birthday?”

she nodded, making johnny’s face turn sour and she knew it was just a playful thing he usually did. handing him a big box wrapped in green, she explained it was for the growing boy and to let him know she’s sorry for it. “the favour i ask of is about y/n.”johnny didn’t say anything, letting her continue.

“while i’m in paris, i need you to look after her. i realised she trusts you, other than me of course.” she hugged her arms, “it’s rare to see her open up her personality to someone else.”

johnny held in a smile, “we haven’t gone there yet.. you know opening up. you see she owes me a proper date, as friends.” he clarified. “apparently we got a ‘no secrets rule’ until a couple of dates.”

yoohyeon punched him, “ahuh, so you both are in the ‘going out on dates but still testing the waters’ stage. well, if that’s the case, take her out on the day i leave. she loves nature, so maybe you could come up with something.”

the guy nodded and gave a thumbs up, yoohyeon sighed a relief. she knew she could trust johnny, and of course she had something to gossip with yeri about. after all, their ship is starting to sail and they were one of the ones to remove the rope from the hook.

“also, bring these all the time.” she shuffled in her bag, seemingly getting something important. “she forgets these, you know, just in case.”

it was an inhaler for asthma and some pills for medication. yoohyeon’s lips pressed together told johnny that this was more than important. it was a road to recovery, confirming the conversation he didn’t want to eavesdrop two months ago.

“how severe is it?” he dared to ask, holding the items tightly on his hand.

“just pray it doesn’t get worse. she’s been through a lot. i’m sure you’ll know about it soon.” she patted his back, “thank you in advance, johnny.”

“yeah, no problem.” he assured her. “i’ll do what i can.”

the side profile of yours that he observed this morning revealed to him how resilient and strong, yet broken and vulnerable you were. a spark in him told him he needed to protect you. he wanted to, it was for the present and the future you, to heal from the past you tried your best to run away from.

he looked up, taking in the cool breeze before the sun rose up high. it was seven in the morning and he didn’t have anything special planned for the day since youngmin’s birthday was all set for saturday. setting his sight on vehicle he brought then back to you who was stretching at this point, he placed his hands in the pockets of his sweats, saying:

“this is a perfect day and time for a long morning drive. wanna come with?”

you twisted your back from side to side, the domino cracking relieving the tension of your spine. looking up at the sky, you seconded johnny’s suggestion, “sounds great but i haven’t even had breakfast yet.”

johnny hummed, turning around to talk to you properly. “we can go to a drive thru on the way. i know of a good spot where we can do sightseeing.”

your mood was lifted and did a little hop, “okay i’ll go get ready.”

the guy stopped you by gently pulling your wrist, making you look at him before you could go back up to your dorms. “no need, just wear that.”

looking at his large hand that wrapped your wrist, you got nervous for the sudden skin contact. how was he so smooth with making your heart skip a beat? and you quickly realised he could be feeling the gradual speed of the giddy heartbeat at that area, so you squinted your eyes at him for his fishy action as a cover-up.

“johnny,” you sighed, “.. i’m wearing pajamas.”

johnny took his eyes off of you and scanned your clothes. it was just a crop top t-shirt and a light pink coloured sweatpants. “i think it’s alright, we kinda match. after all, someone owes me a date.” he winked at you and held your wrist once again.

“i thought we weren’t counting anymore?” you laughed, following him to the car that was parked across the dorm building. thank goodness you brought your phone and house keys.

“i know but i remembered.” he opened the door, letting you in before he moved on to the driver’s seat.

glancing around the car, it was at the line between old and new. not that you were judging, it just somehow felt right. johnny started the engine, reversing the vehicle. his hand touched the headrest of your seat as he looked back.

it made your heart beat stupidly once again, it was so manly and attractive that you wanted it to stay that way. you stared at him when he drove towards the main road, even more so when he drove with one hand. ah, that was where you hitched a breath.

johnny felt the stare you gave and he found it hilarious. he peeked at you at a side eye and chuckled, taking this chance to tease you again. “what are you staring so intently at? the view’s perfect in front of you?”

“please, you want me to refer to yourself, johnny. i know where you’re getting at.” you echoed his chuckle and he just did so louder.

“no i’m talking about the view in front of us.” he nodded at road.

streaks of sunbeam that peeked along the trees made your clothes twinkle, sparkle even. looking at the said view, a small pull on the corners of your mouth made johnny stare at you this time. you were already beautiful in his eyes and the sunrays made you glow as you looked through the front.

his eyes trailed to your facial features and just a like a movie, the slow smile that appeared on your face got him all hooked on you. the way small wrinkles creased at the sides of your eyes and the way you closed them as if you took in the vitamins for some energy was hypnotising.

she’s so.. beautiful. he reminded himself.

his eyes found themselves staring longer than he thought, licking his lips and focused on driving. then bringing up his all time favourite coldplay playlist to suppress the intensive thoughts of you to the back of his mind.

your ears perked up at the familiar song, “hm, this is my favourite one, it calms me down.” turning the dial to volume up the music.

she likes coldplay.

johnny’s heart picked up its speed and he was probably close to being jittery and excited. the smile he contained on the inside finally made its way out. opening the car’s roof, it became brighter and he hoped the sun’s brightness covered his expression.

you gasped at the view by your side, the opened scenery of a beach below was stunning as you and johnny rode through the highway. the breezy wind flowing through your hair and as you inhaled its freshness, you’ve never felt this happy for a long time.

“nice ride you got here.” stretching your arms up high as if you were swimming on air. “i feel free.”

he gasped at you, “we’ve been driving for more than twenty minutes and you just noticed?” johnny laughed heartily, “i’m hurt. bosco’s hurt.”

your mind processed the information you just got. you let out a loud cackle, covering your mouth to not embarrass yourself. “your car’s called bosco?”

johnny’s ears turned red and pulled a face, “well technically it’s my parents’ car-“

“wait.. so this is not your car?” you gestured the car with your hands laughed even harder. johnny bit the insides of his mouth, feeling shy that he didn’t have a car of his own, yet laughing it off because it was true.

“i don’t have the means to buy one. i got a child to raise and put food on the table.” he turned right to a nearby gas station, “speaking of food, you must be hungry. let’s get brunch on the go, but we need to fuel up first.”

“you just can’t handle my attacks.” you nodded.

johnny was right. he had to work double for himself and youngmin. and that made you feel so much appreciation for the guy. when he got off the vehicle to fill in the gasoline, you couldn’t shake off the thought of youngmin’s mother.

who was she? why was she absent the whole time? how could she leave the two boys who was meant to be her whole world, alone?

she probably had her reasons, yet you were so curious to find out. you’re very nosy aren’t you? johnny’s voice echoed in your head, prompting you to slap your head for thinking way too deep in it.

as you did that, your phone dropped by your foot so you bent down to get it, meanwhile hitting your head on the glove compartment. it opened fully by the time you sat back up- the looseness of it confirming the car was quite old- revealing an a5 sized photocard of a younger johnny with a baby youngmin.

the sight of it was adorable, how johnny carried the infant in his arms as he fed him with a milk bottle. the handwritten caption saying ‘suh youngmin with mom and dad’ was heartwarming but what caught your attention was the girl seated beside him. she was probably the mother, but she was facing away from the camera that you couldn’t make out who she was.

you didn’t realise how long who were staring at the photo until johnny came out of the store after payment, making you put the photo back and closing the compartment, hoping it doesn’t open any time soon.

“okay now that’s all set, let’s go?” johnny fastened his seatbelt and starting the engine. “i’m starving.”

“brunch it is.” you awkwardly said, still looking at the compartment.

johnny drove through a fast food chain that had a pre-lunch option, then leading you both back on the road, not forgetting to bring you to a spot that overlooked the city. as the car came to a stop at the scenic viewpoint, johnny closed the roof and turned off the engine. you got out and the overview fusion of nature and cityscape in the morning gave you a gushing feeling of inner peace.

he took the ordered food, his footsteps scraping against the ground. the sound fading away from you, he called out. “y/n! i got a spot up top. it’s better up there.” gesturing for you to follow him.

it was a little spot at a mini veranda where a table and two chairs placed perfectly across each other, as if it were waiting for you both. the wind was relaxing, cooling off the heat you both had from climbing up a few steps just to get to up here.

and once again, he was right. it was so much better up here than below. coming here was such a good idea, and johnny was good at pleasing people by taking this route. so you both started eating in silence for a bit when your mind came back on the topic of youngmin’s mother.

you hated yourself for being this nosy. but curiosity got the best of you. what would johnny think? he probably was still in the process of moving on and it was a sensitive topic to bring up.

he caught you staring at him again and licked his lips before talking, “like what you see? i think that you might prefer me over the view out there.”

you threw a ball of tissue at him, “and if i say yes how would you react?”

“flattered ‘cause you might feel that way and confused ‘cause you probably lied based on this tissue you just threw.” he joked, playfully throwing it back to you. “but really, is there something you wanted to ask?”

you didn’t respond straight away, still trying to put the right words together to form a proper question. johnny took his time to wait for you, munching away until you shuffled and put your food down.

“i’ve been wondering for a while, and i hope this doesn’t weird you out or put you in a tight spot.” you locked your fingers together.

“hm? i’m okay, you can ask.” he smiled a little, still eating his food then drinking his cup of coffee.

breathing out a nervous puff, here goes nothing. “does youngmin.. still sees his mom?”johnny slightly dropped his cutlery and it wasn’t hard to miss this small reaction, then wiping his mouth with tissue. you panicked, looking at him and regretted what you asked. this was a bad idea. “sorry, that was unnecessary. i shouldn’t have asked-”

“no, it’s okay.” he smiled small, clearing away the empty containers. once settled, he thought it was the right time to open up. after all, you’ve been friends for a while now. “youngmin hadn’t seen his mom since the breakup. he sometimes still looks for her though.”

he shifted on his seat before he spoke again, “my ex was kim minji. i call her mj for short, while others call her jiu. we dated months before high school graduation and we called it quits six months ago.”

“that must’ve been hard to deal with.” you said, fiddling with your fingers. “how are you coping up?”

johnny shook his head, “still needs some getting used to. when youngmin arrived, we stuck together like superglue. she loved youngmin a lot but a year later she wasn’t acting like herself. she changed and i was trying my best to figure it out and talk to her about it.”

you had a feeling where this was going. “she avoided it and ghosted you and went with another guy?”

he looked at you, surprised at how you got that on point. “that’s right. wow, you actually hit the mark. i’m guessing you have a theory what happened next?”

you held your chin and thought for a moment, “maybe.. she fell out of love? you said she changed and you don’t know why.” you stretched, crossing your arms and continued to give a penny for your thoughts.

“don’t get this wrong, but maybe.. you didn’t spend much time with her just the two of you because all of the focus was on youngmin. you both interchange in looking after the child, got busy, and when you do have the time, you both were too tired to spend time alone. ‘cause you know, juggling between school, part-time, and housework could take a toll on both of you. then it became straining in the end.”

johnny just stared at you. even if you heard it only once, you seemed to have figured it out. and as for him; a psychology student, should’ve seen things from another perspective. after all, minji was a girl, like you. and hearing that made him feel shameful because his pride as a guy took over. he should’ve heard her out.

but how will neglecting responsibilities speak about her? how would it show an impression to others as someone who looks after a baby? it didn’t make any sense and he hoped they actually talked about it. however, he recalled the break up conversation, minji didn’t bother communicating with him at all even if he tried. that was why he was still bothered to this day and it still pained his heart.

“you’re probably right, y/n.”

he then looked at you, who had an innocent face yet spoke as if you lived way longer than him. it led him to want to know more about you, “again, i’m so amazed at how you analysed that in a short time.”

“that’s because it hits so close to home.” you spoke with assurance. “it’s all too familiar.”

johnny’s heart ached when he heard that. once again he felt shameful because how could he missed that? someone who spoke of experience saw things differently. you were a person who probably had more to face and what he had experienced was close to nothing compared what you did.

the gaze he held onto you got you relaxed a little bit, he was curious now. “my parents got married for the sake of it.. not for love. it was an arranged marriage from both parties.”

the boy sat forward with a confused look, “but, they had you. they must’ve loved each other at one point.”

you smiled bitterly, yet it was a sad one. “i’d like to think of it that way. but what was the point of having me and raising me if they didn’t actually love each other?”

“if not to each other, then they loved you.” johnny suggested, and he saw how it made your eyes water a bit. “they’re co-parenting for you.”

“i never felt it.” you pressed your lips, “they argued a lot for as long as i could remember, scolded me for the littlest things. then i had to face anxiety hearing their raised voices. i didn’t eat as much as well because i thought about it a lot.”

johnny didn’t want to jump to conclusions, however that wasn’t so true on your part that he thought otherwise. you said you were immune to it, but the tone in your voice hinted you longed for love from your parents.

he wanted to hug you right now, but he held himself back. you probably just needed someone to talk to, a hug right now would be weird. he was worried he might make you feel weird if he did so.

“things will be better. it may not be for now but for the future. sometimes parents think they’re right, even if they’re in the wrong. in some way, you’d still need to have a conversation with them; heart to heart, so you could voice out how you feel. can i ask something though?” he asked cautiously, you tilted your head in response.

“yeah sure, let’s hear it.” you drank from your bottle of water.

johnny had something in mind, he hoped he was wrong about it but with the way you talked about your parents, something was missing. sure, they argued almost 24/7 and it greatly affected you.

“did you do something.. that made them act the way they did back at the carnival?”

your chest ached. johnny pinpointed something you’ve never shared to anyone. it was buried deep, far back at the archives of your mind, never to be brought out to be checked.

johnny was a psychology major, and he knew better at discussions like these. he acted like a librarian looking for a lost book, a book with information that needed to be studied.

what if you wanted it to be found? what if this information was okay for this librarian to read? will he get anything beneficial from it? it was risky, but you knew you couldn’t keep it in for a long time. and if there was anyone you’d share this to, it would clearly be him.

he gave you time to talk, it was a sensitive issue after all. he was given a hint while you were talking, your hand kept holding your left arm since the beginning. was it a habit? or was a trauma that was deadly?

“it happened a month into uni, after i had left home. had to attend a funeral of a hotel’s shareholder and apparently saw them there. the greeting was same as the carnival, interrogated me.”

johnny shook his head, taking in that your remark towards your mom was normal.

“all of a sudden they started arguing. i tried to stop them because they were causing a scene. they just pushed me away and told me not to butt in. i was so hurt that i told them angrily that i wished i was never born. so i left, thought i could escape the reality that my supposed home was a violent storm.” your hand caressed your arm.

“i remember it was a rainy evening with thunderstorms and lightning, it didn’t help though. it mirrored the same situation back at home.”

johnny’s face darkened, his hunch was right.

“so i ran..” you said shakily, placing your hands on the table. “i kept running to find brighter skies and silence, screaming in pain and crying.. i focused so much on that that i thought i already found it.” you exhaled a deep breath, “unfortunately i found myself laying on a hospital bed, was told i got hit by a vehicle, ended up fracturing my whole arm.”

“y/n..” he leaned closer, and you noticed his eyes softened upon hearing that. he held your hands because you were shaking. “i’m so sorry.”

“don’t be, i’m actually glad i got it out of me. i feel so much better. my arm still has a metal rod in it so i could move easier.” chin pointing to your arm. and now that johnny looked back, he just realised that you carry youngmin using your right while patted him with your left hand.

“still.” he sighed, “it’s very brave of you. thank you, i’m glad you told me.”

“no thank you, for listening.” you told him, then your eyes lit up, “ah! it’ll be our secret, okay?” you smiled, eyes finding your hands on his.

johnny saw your eyes trail on where his hands were, slowly letting go so you won’t find him making a move on you. “you bet, i also learned something today.”

“which is?”

“that your heartbeat was so evident on your wrist.” he said, and your face heated up. did he figure it out? “must’ve been nerve-wrecking to share that.”

you mentally sighed, safe. “y-yeah. it’s been two years since that happened.”

johnny stood up and dusted his clothes, prompting you to do the same. “and here’s to more years on holding on to hope, to overcome.”

“yeah i hope so too. a lot has happened which is also why i don’t like driving, arguments, rainy nights. gosh i have a lot of hurdles to pass.”

marching down the veranda towards the viewpoint, you and johnny thought it would be nice to walk around the beach to burn the calories from your brunch meal. you looked up to the sky and you felt alive with the sun. funny how the beach was completely empty at this time. so you wanted to speedwalk and savour the moment.

the guy who took you here felt grateful he did what he did. it somehow helped him face the topic he completely avoided. johnny was even more so that he got to share it with you. even though his friends knew about it, knowing he could trust someone else made him feel at ease.

taking out his film camera, it was a part of him to automatically snap a photo of something memorable. because he was quite weak in recalling, he wanted this to be recorded so that he could look back into it, in case he forgets.

“don’t tell me you’re going to keep those from me. don’t be a creep.” you teased, johnny adjusting the film once more, saying that he wouldn’t keep any secrets from you now. you smiled back at him as you stretched your arms, gasping loudly when you spotted the distant horizon. you called out to johnny, “the ocean’s sparkling! isn’t it beautiful!?”

he smiled, and he looked through the viewfinder, seeing you pointing at the sparkles that seemingly made your day so easily.

“yeah, beautiful.”

—

rowoon exited the bathroom of his apartment, drying off excess water from his hair. he casually walked around his home with nothing but a towel and home slippers. not noticing his dad’s assistant sitting by the sofa, coughing intentionally to get his attention.

that startled the boy and he nearly slipped on the way to the kitchen, a habit of his to immediately eat after a long session in the shower. “oh shoot- i didn’t know you were here, junho.”

“ha, i didn’t know you danced like that. it doesn’t suit you.” he smirked, then frowning a bit. “and that’s junho hyung, quit the casual talking.”

the boy opened a pack of potato fries he managed to find on the pantry, munching on the saltiness he craved for to ease his tastebuds. “what are you doing here, anyway?”

“i got the stuff you asked for.” junho scuffled through his shoulder bag, giving him a file. “you’re safe for now from the court. you know you’re giving your dad a hard time with all of the freakshows you do.”

rowoon looked at the older guy with annoyance in his face, “and so? i’m having a fun time. let me enjoy my youth for once.”

“for once, my ass. you’ve been in and out of the police station so many times.” he complained, “please look after your reputation, young man.”

rowoon chuckled sarcastically, “chill, hyung. i got it all under control.”

junho rolled his eyes. even though he grew up with the boy, rowoon got on his nerves most of the time that he should’ve popped a vessel by now. “if you think you need to get your father’s attention by doing those, i think he got the message loud and clear.”

“beats me, doesn’t hurt to pick me up from the station at least.” he took the file, opening and revising it.

this time junho sarcastically chuckled, “what are you, nine? you’ll be cashing your dad’s money because he spends it on your bails instead of your college tuitions, don’t waste your future and talents like this.”

“it’s fine, he’s the head doctor of the university hospital’s surgical department anyway, college tuitions are easy for me.” he smirked then eyed junho from top to bottom and back to the top. “tell me the information you have.”

junho briefly raised his brows, taking another file from his bag. “that car accident you got somehow got involved in three years ago? the police are still investigating.”

“well that’s bad news and ruined my day all in one go. don’t worry, i’ll do something about it.” rowoon proudly crossed just arms. “oh and the girl’s alive by the way. alive and well.”

junho took off his glasses to clean them using the ends of his suit, “you’ve seen her?”

“you bet i did, she’s matured and bloomed. also saw a familiar face i haven’t seen in a while.” still eating on the fries as if it were a big feast to celebrate on.

“johnny suh?”

“in the flesh.”

——

unsaid words, unspokened feelings, unexpected encounters, undeserved. that was how johnny felt today after spending time together with you. he hadn’t felt this in a long tome, where he could be himself other than his family and friends.

he actually thought of reaching out to minji at one time, but he was having a dilemma if he should. was it worth it? he wasn’t too sure. he also looked back to the app he had on his phone, loveclick. he hadn’t touch that app for a while and put it behind, deciding it was useless.

you came out of the convenience store, holding two ice cream cones, and he saw the joy you had just by eating it. it was evident that you were having a good time. johnny had an idea and he felt stupid for not bringing it up. but his phone broke when he clumsily dropped it on the ground earlier and could never turn it back on. “let’s take a selfie, i realised we haven’t even taken one.”

you licked your lips, “cool, how many?”

it took about five minutes to take a decent one on johnny’s end because he kept saying that he didn’t look good in any of the shots. so you took a selfie instead, and spending the rest of the day walking around nature.

“shall we head back? it’s currently 6pm and it’ll take us about four hours to return to the city.” johnny asked, peeking at his watch and threw away his soft drink to the bin before you made your way back up to the car.

“okay.” you said, thankfully you didn’t have any part time or classes the following day, so getting back wasn’t a problem.

going back in the vehicle again, you fastened the seatbelt and settled your position comfortably. playing with your phone for a bit, johnny started the engine and drove down the scenic viewpoint. a few metres out the main road, the car slowly made a stop before suddenly shutting down.

that made you two look at each other worriedly. johnny tried to start the engine again, only to make a loud kickstart noise then stopping abruptly. he let out a curse in a whisper, “i can’t seem to start bosco, i’ll check go and check the battery and oil.”

he wiped his forehead with his arm, it was getting stuffy since the weather was really hot. johnny excused himself by taking his shirt off to wipe off the sweat building up, going out to open the hood.

as he did that, you mentally got mad at yourself for unintentionally staring.. because the last time you saw him shirtless was at the camp two months ago. just why is he smoking hot? “i’m not looking i’m not looking i’m not looking, i’m looking respectfully.”

“y/n! look at this!” he called out before going to the window next to you.

“i’m not looking!” you exclaimed, covering your eyes as you looked away from him.

“what do you mean?” he squinted his eyes, wiping his sweat once again, “come look at the hood! it’s smoking.”

oh.

you did as he said and saw the hood smoking out black: it meant engine failure. “the engine’s busted. can you fix it?”

johnny stared at you and gave you a side eye as if you asked the stupidest question ever, “i’m a 24/7 single dad i don’t officially own a car let alone have the knowledge to fix one so you’re asking the wrong person.”

you just laughed at it, facepalming yourself. “oh right my bad, papa bear.”you put your sleeves until it reached your shoulders and proudly told him “then you’ll be glad you have me.”

“oh you can do that?” he raised his brows in surprise, actually impressed with that revelation. “like fix the car?”

“no i mean by having me meant that you have an extra phone to use to call a tow truck.” you bit your lower lip, still smiling at the plan b.

“then what was the pulling up of the sleeves for?”

“it’s hot, duh.” you snorted. johnny actually thought you’d able to and it made you laugh harder, earning a pinch on the face. you tapped on the screen, smile fading when you found out your phone battery was 1% before shutting down. “oh s-.”

johnny’s smile also faded. “what?”

“my phone’s dead.” you turned to him. “got a charger or powerbank?”

“i don’t have any on me-”

rattles of summer rain heard in the distance, gradually becoming louder. it didn’t take long for your clothes (and johnny’s muscular body, again you’ve been avoiding eye contact), to be dampened by rain that was obviously going to be heavy.

“can this day get any worse? damn it!” johnny shouted, getting frustrated when he put his t-shirt back on.

you covered your view with your arm and chills went down your spine. you realised it was raining, and your anxieties spiked up. but you didn’t want to make johnny worry, so you put out your arm to hitch for a ride. the car had to stop in the middle of an empty road, with only a few to little of cars driving pass by.

johnny and yourself have been standing for a good minute, which felt like forever in this situation, when a tow truck fortunately drove by. johnny ran to stop the truck. the man eyeing him down when he got off his vehicle.

“well what are you kids doin’ here?” he took a good look at the brokened down car behind you both, “ah! this car needs some fixin’!” then facing to johnny, “young man, if you need to take your girl out on a long drive, you might’ve had it checked first before goin’ out. this car’s close to junk!”

you snickered a laugh and johnny got startled a little bit, smiling, “it’s technically my parents’ car-“

“oh yes it’s his parents’ car!” you told the old man, still holding your arm to your head. johnny pulled a face at you, holding you into headlock playfully.

“keep your mouth shut, you chatterbox.” he embarrassingly said but giggled while you apologised.

the old man looked up, “you guys don’t seem from around ‘ere. thankfully we’re close by a car mechanic who could fix your car and a motel for you to wait. though it’ll take hours for it to get the job done.” pointing to the car. “so you youngin’s should crash in and stay the night. the forecast predicted it’ll be raining heavy ‘til mornin’.”

you nodded, eyes squinted at him, “that’ll be great sir. thank you.”

“sorry kiddos, we’re fully booked tonight.” the old lady by the counter blatantly said while chewing gum, staring at the two in front of her who were completely drenched in pouring rain.

johnny approached the counter, “ma’am, we need a place to stay for the night. we’ll leave first thing tomorrow.”

the old lady grumbled a little, “did ‘ya even hear me? no. more. rooms. available.”

johnny formed his fist into a ball, his blood spiking up on how rude this old lady was. you didn’t miss this and decided to ask another way. “ma’am, if there aren’t any rooms left for single beds. is there any chance for booking a room with two twin beds?”

the old lady tipped her glasses back in place, “there should be one room left, beautiful lady.” she typed on her computer, and johnny scoffed at the contrast, “ah yes, we do have. i can book you here. okay! one couple suite for the night!” she said while getting the key for the room.

“couple suite-” you both said,

“he’s not my boyfri-”

“she’s not my girlf-”

“y’all want to sleep outside instead?” she frowned, pointing to the heavy rain just behind the door. “it’s free.”

johnny clicked his tongue, “why you-”

you immediately prevented johnny from dampening the counter any more by holding his body back with your arm, “we’ll take it! the couple suite.” you faked a laugh, giving her cash, took the keys from her and pushing johnny away from the reception.

both of you exited the elevator and you were so amused by his attitude earlier. “what’s with that, johnny?”

“she was so rude, and i asked nicely.” johnny laid his arms out in confusion, he shook his head and sprinkled his hair. “right?”

you just crossed your arms, “give it a break, she’s an old lady.”

“yeah and she feels so entitled, damn.” he sighed, walking towards the suite.

opening the door, you and johnny sighed as you both saw the king sized double bed. the air instantly changed and it made it awkward when two bathroom robes were laid in front of you.

“i-i’ll go for a shower first,” you stuttered, going to the bathroom immediately, taking the robe before closing the door behind you. holding your chest, this scenario wasn’t happening at all. slapping your face to keep it real, you started to shower.

johnny on the other hand, found an extra towel in the car. he wiped his hair and dried his body a bit to prevent it from being too cold. his ears picked up the tapping of fallen shower droplets, and he didn’t want to focus on that.

he turned the television on, he guided the remote control to flip through the channels, stopping momentarily on a love scene and immediately changing it to a weather forecast.

he remembered what taeyong had told him; and was relieved that he did, not wanting to jump to that. he had to keep his goal, befriending you was priority.

“stop.” he mumbled to himself. he then heard a knock, opening the door for the knocker.

“here’s a little welcoming gift from our staff to you.” the lady smiled at him before handing him a box, bowing her head then taking her leave.

johnny opened the box, expecting snacks as the packaging was a bento box. his eyes caught on something that made him let out a little noise. he didn’t even notice you were finished showering and was standing behind him. “what are you holding?”

“agh!” he closed the box, shouting louder and that made you mirror him as well, holding your arms close to you.

“what the hell?” you said, catching your breath. “why’d you do that for? oh- is that food?”

“room service.” he nervously chuckled, eyeing other things. “i ordered for myself so you can order your own too. i’ll go shower.”

he sprinted to the bathroom and closed the door behind him. his ears were really red at this point. opening the box, he took the item and flushed it down the toilet. “what the hell were the staff thinking?” after he finished showering, he spotted you eating food from room service, all comfortable on the bed.

in the end he decided to sleep on the sofa and he hoped he’d be able to get through the night.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

taglist: @titanmaknae29 @joepomonerof @lovesuhng @studyingthemind @cheyehc @kyeomooniee @geysuuuuh

32 notes · View notes

radioactivedragonspit · 21 days

Text

Back In The Ol' Days [2014] we had the punk/nerd AU... but I have my gripes with the PNAU; it feels outdated to me. In 2014 I ate that shit up, but it's 2024 and the rampant micro-trends have me re-thinkin modern Hijack portrayals...

So here I am to propose a new PNAU: Grunge X Emo.

Hiccup as a cozy grunge kind of guy- basically just classic comfy casual clothes but with earthy tones, ripped up jeans covered in motor oil stains, and loose flannel shirts over worn-out tees.

Jack as a casual emo kind of guy- Skinny jeans with rips (often on the end of the legs cause they annoy them when they're too long), tight band tees, and his classic hoodie he can disappear into the shadowy hood of to sulk.

Elaboration ⬇️

I think it could be fun to explore the way Hiccup has a ton of hand-me-downs and spends a lot of time patching up old clothes, or adding custom painted patches to his bags. Maybe he knows how to sew just from patching/mending. I like that in the movies we see him doing bith heavy work in the forge, and having gentle hands as an artist. I think he'd be good at a ton of different diy skills and put them to practical use with his wardrobe.

In canon, Hiccup does have a lot of leftist and punk ideology; The Edge is literally equal-ownership equal-imput everyone else just decides he runs the show. And he literally changes the dominant mindset of the society he lives in to better the life of both his people and the ones they've been at war with for decades. Hes pretty punk... but I don't see him going so far aesthetically as to be a full Spiky Punk TM. He's always on the move, working on something, or chilling outside with Toothless, so I think a more casual comfortable style suits him. Though I do think he would like jackets with extra straps and buckles on the pockets and stuff, and maybe a good belt bag + leatherman combo. Totally the type to always have a pocket knife. He'd paint himself patches and slap a few of em on his bags, coats, maybe over that burn hole in his jeans that's been annoying him. He'd favor practicality over aesthetic, but he still has a sense of style. As he gets older he probably leans into the edgier style, wearing more black and red combos, more strappy belts/coats/bags, and even gets a few tattoos. But I do see him as a grungey earthy engineering guy with comfy, often oversized silhouettes.

Jack I could see being super impulsive and latching onto pop culture; something emos were notorious for. I, personally, was clamoring for a branded tee shirt the moment I deemed a band good enough to youtube->mp3 to my ipod. I could see Jack doing that kind of thing, and latching onto this misunderstood invisible-yet-visibly-different identity. He probably favors dark blue, brown, and black. Deffinitely the type to get on the colored jeans trend when it hit. Maybe he even doodles little swirling patterns on his clothes when he's bored- an adhd habit I know all too well.

Without being, yanno, dead, Jack's Different Look would probably come just from him wanting to express himself. He feels isolated and finds it hard to make lasting friends because when people *do* notice him, they tend to see him more as a silly little jester than a person worth getting to know. He copes with humor and trying to get attention every now and again but ends up with a closer knit group of oddballs. He's good with kids, of course, and tends to take on a cool-big-brother to anyone in need of one. All of this playing into this casual and easy-going but edgy, kinda emo look. He probably listens to sad emo music while sitting on a roof, staring at the moon, contemplating his purpose in life. He pretty much does that in his movie so it isn't much of a stretch lol.

Anyways, feel free ro give your 2 cents and build onto or off of this as you please, I'm just brainstorming I guess. Thinkin aloud... visually. I tend to like psychoanalyzing characters and it's interesting to me to think of Hic & Jack's canon portrayals and what they would mean in a modern-human AU.

#mad ramblings #grunge/emo AU #hijack #AU ideas i guess #i psychoanalyze pixels #because i love them #frostcup

15 notes · View notes

panoffrying · 8 days

Text

My Dr. Sozonius LORE Headcanons

✨Warning this is a bit long✨

Sozo is a character that has lived for a very long time. Whatever that mushroom was on their head not only influenced Sozo but kept them immortal. We know really nothing bout Sozos past so I made some headcanons for silly fun and for me to visualize who Sozo was and what his life may have looked like. I want to do my best to keep this as game accurate as possible, so there will be quotes from the game. The quotes are not at all in order! I kinda just bring up random Sozo quotes as I go. Also I apologize if this doesn't make sense or if I ramble (I get excited about certain topics)

thank you so much @7moonbird for going over and editing this for me, Love ya Pookie!

And so we start:

Sozonius was born in the days of the old faith. He was present the day the Bishops declared the genocide of the lambs and he actually played a big part in assisting the lambs survival. However, he almost got caught and had to stop helping the lambs to keep his family safe. He's never seen any of the bishops but his village was part of Darkwood and therefore under Bishop Leshy’s ruling.

VILLAGE

Sozonius village was mostly a colony of Carpenter Ants, there were a few other species living there too but it was mostly Carpenter Ants. I imagine there are different races of ants depending on the region they’re in; so there could be fire ants, pharaoh ants, and more! Most ants get along nicely and work together but sometimes other races of ants can be more temperamental and cause conflict between colonies. Carpenter ants are a more calm type of ants, they aren't aggressive but they are incredibly strong. Carpenters ants are known to live in trees; they hollow out trees to make their homes and they like to stay off the ground as much as possible in case of floods and other dangers.

In the colony they had their ruler, the “Queen,” who looked over the village and did queenly business (not gonna go too deep into it). Everyone had many different jobs, ants are hard workers and very strong. They made marvelous structures, farmed a lot of crops, and knew how to work together when there was a threat. Sozo’s village was one that many others would try making deals/trades with. I would talk more about his village but that's not why y’all are here lol.

Sozonius was a fellow damn near everyone in the village knew. He loved his work and he loved to talk about it to anyone that expressed that they wanted to listen. He was that guy that you could get stuck in a conversation with and struggle to end it. He liked to ramble about his work and kids. Other than that though he never really started conversations with others, he would keep to himself unless someone interacted with him.

And I could definitely see him having a science rival but nothing too bad lol.

FAMILY

“Where am I…? Where is… my family…?” are the words Sozo says when he turns back into Dr. Sozonius. I like to think he had a wife and two children. They didn’t have the best marriage but they made it work out for their two sons. His wife was a bit stubborn and very honest. She would say things before thinking which did cause issues, but Sozonius let it slide because he loved her so much and wanted a happy family for his sons.

Sozonius was a very funny dude. He made dad jokes all the damn time, his family would pretend to hate the jokes but in reality they did love them.

Sozo Dialogue “Now all Sozo can think about is mushrooms, mushrooms, MUSHROOMS… They don’t leave mush-room for anything else! Ha!”

(Also, this next idea is inspired off of @kuphulwho headcanons for Sozo. I loved her ideas and I recommend y'all look at her headcanons too!) Aside from Sozonius being a mycologist he had a side hobby of art! He wasn't the best artist, but he was really talented with sketching plants/fungi, he liked to make art of anything that interested him. He most likely wrote an educational picture book about Fungi, there's probably an old copy of it somewhere.

This art hobby caught the interest of his two sons, and they also started to pursue art. Sozonius would take his free time teaching his sons how to draw plants and such. Sozonius would hang his kids' art everywhere in their house, it was like walking into an art museum haha.

JOB

Sozonius studied mycology which means he studied fungi. Sozonius knew fungi could benefit his society and he wanted to help educate others about the importance of fungi. Soon he learned enough of a new discovery of mushroom people, neither plant nor animal…Sozonius then made the decision to go on a solo mission to study the Mushroomo people.

THE MUSHROOMOS

Dr. Sozonius Dialogue “My name is Dr. Sozonius. I was researching the Mushroomos that live in Spore Grotto… strange creatures, Neither animal nor plant…”

Sozonius went to Spore Grotto and at first, he studied the Mushroomo people from a distance setting up a campsite near the Mushroomo Village. When the Mushroomo people discovered Sozonius they welcomed him into their home, cheerful happy little things. Sozonius was given the chance to learn more about these strange creatures up close! How could he say no? Sozonius was welcomed into Spore Grotto and was treated like a god.

Sozonius asked the Mushroomos many questions, but getting any actual answers from them was difficult. The Mushroomos treated Sozonius like he was their most special guest, they danced and sang for Sozonius. They would mimic Sozonius and follow him around, making sure to do anything he asked of them. There would be many times when the Mushroomos would offer to feed Sozonius menticide mushrooms but Sozonius knew a lot about fungi and declined their offers. However, there seemed to be a special Ritual the Mushroomos took part in…

Sozonius had been in Spore Grotto for many weeks now, it was time for him to leave, he had studied enough and was ready to return home but the Mushroomos were surprisingly sad when he announced this. They wanted to show Sozonius a sacred ritual to them before he left, he wasn't aware of the menticide mushrooms being part of it…

Dr. Sozonius Dialogue “They gave me Menticide Mushrooms, and then… that’s the last thing I remember…”

After Sozonius was tricked into eating menticide mushrooms and also gave Sozonius a crown, a crown that would grow into Sozoniuss mind, he shall be the Mushroomos leader… And the new Sozo was made. (literally just think of Ice Age 2 when the lil sloths take Sid to be their fire king, however they don't sacrifice him)

The mushroom on Sozos head is very powerful, it makes me wonder what it is exactly, it gives the person wearing it immortality, but also causes the user to go insane (don't forget that Sozo is also being fed menticide mushrooms) the mushroom crown kinda reminds me of Chemachs crown. It seems to have a mind of its own and a face. I feel like the Mushroomos for days straight made sure to give Sozo a diet of only menticide mushrooms to make him forget everything and to possibly power the mushroom crown. They would constantly tell Sozo that his mind would be open and free, that it would make him feel better, and Sozo being under the influence of the mushroom listened to them.

A Mushroomo Dialogue "Once you taste the Menticide Mushroom your mind will be opened."

As the years went by so did all the sanity Sozonius had left, but in some moments Sozonius seems to still be aware but not all there.

Sozo Dialogue “Sozo had friends... Followers... family... now Sozo has mushrooms..."

Sozo over time seems to start to dislike his followers and call them liars. He even becomes quite cruel to his followers. Yet he also mentions that he trusts the lamb and wants the lamb to protect him from his followers which makes me believe that Sozonius is somehow a little aware and fighting against the mushroom crown’s influence. He is mad at the Mushroomos for lying to him, tricking him, making him into who he is now.

Sozo Dialogue “No need to thanks Sozo. Build it at your Cult then come back to me. Sozo shall grant you one last gift. Sozo is always fair. Always repays this debts. Not like those LIARS out there."

"You did it! Now I know I can trust you... not like those nasty liars outside. They are always watching, always listening! Here take this. You are Sozo's best friend, you are Sozo's only friend."

"Sozo can trust you now, Sozo will pledge himself to you! You will protect me from those liars outside and bring Sozo mushrooms!"

(Also a side note that my gf brought to my attention last second lol! Apparently parasitic mushrooms rely on insects to spread. That is probably why they tricked Sozonius into staying and eating menticide mushrooms. Maybe it's been that long since they've seen an insect)

SOZOS IMPRISONMENT

So, this next little headcanon of mine is an interesting one and might be confusing to explain. Was Sozonius imprisoned within his own mind while under the control of the mushroom crown? If he was, I can see him being stuck in a sort of loop, imagining his family and friends. Think like Mabel's Bubble from ‘Gravity Falls’ weirdmageddon. Sozonius is trapped in a mental bubble, stuck in a false reality as the now mushroom-infected Sozo takes over his body and actions.

In Sozonius’s mental bubble he is in a place where trees are big, tall mushrooms and flowers are mushrooms, everywhere he turns its mushrooms. He knows something is wrong, everything is too strange, everyone he loves is there with him but is it real? It feels like he's living in a dream. Sozonius proceeds to talk to his friends and family as if they are actually there in which I noticed that Sozo will talk to the menticide mushrooms as if they are actual people.

Sozo Dialogue “Precious, perfect little mushrooms, Sozo is here now, Sozo will always be here…”

”Sozo is busy now… Sozo must commune with the ‘shrooms.”

As time passes more mushrooms grow in his mind prison, and they keep growing and growing until they start to grow on the people he loves. He knows something is happening, he's going mad, and he starts to search for an exit, he needs to escape this false reality that the mushroom crown has created for him.

He starts fighting the mushroom crown’s hold on him which causes him to regain some awareness. This is when a part of him realizes he’s been tricked, and he starts refusing everything the Mushroomos give him and becomes cruel to them. However, the lambs have never done him wrong before and the lamb (from the cult) begins to be the only person he can trust. At least until it becomes too much and well… we know Sozo’s fate.

SOZO’S REVIVAL

So Sozo doesn't get resurrected until all the bishops become mortal (at least in my playthrough). So all the bishop siblings are in the cult and learning the ways of mortal stuff and Sozo appears around the same time, still the crazy Sozo we know and love. However, he’s still very addicted to the menticide mushrooms and both the Lamb and night workers have found Sozo digging through the mushroom crops like a lil racoon.

Based on the game, Sozo likes to run around the cult and do his own thing; he often looks very spaced out but the moment someone talks to him he starts spitting nonsense before yelling at them to go away. The only people Sozo will talk to are people that give Sozo what he wants, which is menticide mushrooms! If you do that for him he will talk your ear off with nonsense, in conversations with him he will often talk about his followers, them being liars and disgusting little creatures. One day though Sozo’s personality seems to change? He starts to tell the lamb,

“Sozo was just here, all alone, thinking about mushrooms... Uh, Sozo means Sozo's little Mushroomo followers!”

”Yes,, they must be so lost without Sozo. They love Sozo! Everyone loves Sozo - especially Lamb!”

“Without their great and beloved Sozo, Mushroomos must be so scared... YOU! You must save them! Save them and bring them to Sozo.”

”They will be trapped in Anura. They are always getting captured when they don't have their great Sozo to protect them. Rescue them and bring them to me.”

But when you bring the followers to Sozo he ends up eating them. At first glance you can assume it's just his addiction, in which it most certainly could be! He sees a big mushroom and he's like oooo~ delicious but there's also a possibility of this being Dr. Sozonius’s anger coming out. The whole fighting against the mushroom crown’s influence and realization that he’s been tricked. Maybe a mix of his addiction and anger for what they did to him? I’m not too sure if Sozo eating the Mushroomos was a problem before he joined the cult.

Of course, this addiction must be stopped so the lamb decides enough is enough and refuses to get more Mushroomos. This causes Sozo to dissent and, with little choice, the Lamb has to put him in rehab. I imagine it would’ve been a struggle getting Sozo to the prison without the Red Crown’s help. With the power of an ant that is Sozo’s size it's a miracle he didnt break that pillory while he was in it. Sozo just stayed silent and didn't fight; the person he had put his trust and hope in has imprisoned him. Sozo is a bit depressed at that moment.

After Sozo has been re-educated, released, and cured of his addiction the mushroom crown finally falls off his head. Which, like I said before, makes me wonder, was it being powered by the menticide mushrooms Sozo has been eating or is it something else?

But Dr. Sozonius talks about some stuff before saying,

Dr. Sozonius Dialogue “I can’t help but feel that I have you to thank for… something. You have my loyalty, I will remain here and serve you. Please, take this!”

Sozonius was ready to live his life rather than reunite with his family in the afterlife. He wasn't expecting to be resurrected after dying in the cult from old age. But Sozonius gave the lamb their loyalty and promised to stay in the cult and serve them. The Lamb had been so kind as to give Sozonius an immortality necklace, the Lamb didn’t want Sozonius to go yet… and Sozo’s heart was too kind and soft. He will have to wait a bit longer to return home to his family, but maybe some good things will come out of staying longer~

Also! Who do we think Sozo was talking to?

A Mushroomo Dialogue "Who is Sozo talking to when he whispers in the dark...?"

Is he talking to himself? The mushrooms? Or the Fox?

#THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN TO MAKE #THANK YOU SO MUCH MOONBIRD #I hope yall like my idea of what Sozos story might be so sorry if I rambled a lot #hope yall like to read #my headcanons #cult of the lamb headcanons #cult of the lamb sozonius #cult of the lamb #sozo headcanons #cult of the lamb sozo #cotl sozo #cotl sozonius #cotl headcanons #sorry if it didn’t make sense😭#cotl dr sozonius #dr sozonius #the shattered crown AU

17 notes · View notes

anomalyhqs · 4 months

Text

crashin’ a charity, evo ? if you really think about it, that’s kinda messed up !

ho, ho, ho ! in case you’re wonderin’, that’s santa climbin’ down t4d’s chimney with a shiny bag of goodies ‘cause i heard they broke a whole new record this year ! that’s right, folks — six packs of instant ramen and three whole boxes of assorted veggies for an elaborate three-storey model house ; turns out sua’s either full of rich kids or big dreams ! wonderin’ who’s the artist ? glad you asked, ‘cause we have it on good authority — ( y’know, good as in passin’ the bar, but who knows where the bar is these days ! ) — that it’s none other than a 2nd year interior design undergrad ! heard their name was ahreum ( @gxldenhxvr ) , or somethin’ ? well, they’re about to get a whole lot more expensive to book, ‘cause we heard that the model house was collateral damage in a rally rumble featurin’ samjoko’s captain ( @duskterrace ) and yellow hall’s own ra, sera ( @fortunefool ) ! y’know, cause an artist gets more expensive when the art dies ? ( huh, or is it the other way round ? ) ain’t nothin better than when lady luck’s on your side !

believe it or not, that’s not the only rally rumble of the night ! that’s right, up next in the ring is gangcheori’s captain ( @13elmst ) tag teamin’ with evo’s very own secretary ( @heartstcel ) ! the opponent ? one very defenceless room of a certain t4d vp ( @rnalgnant ) ! yep, you heard that right ! we saw it with our own eyes that they smashed the whole place up and left nothin’ to spare ! uh… head’s up guys — practice room’s the other way ! huh, wonder if this means evo’s losin’ their secretary to gangcheori ? if gangcheori’s really scoopin’ evo members, then we think we know why the hyun brothers — gangcheori’s captain and evo’s prez ( @inordinaries ) — are on the outs ! though, we did hear through the grapevine that dohyun’s gettin’ closer to daddy — y’know, bigshot politician lim and t4d’s idol — so maybe evo’s breakin’ down instead, and gangcheori’s just scoopin’ up the scraps ?

if evo’s dissolvin’, then this next bit is gonna make a whole lotta sense — ‘cause we swear we saw one of t4d’s student rep, yuhui ( @seriphic ), rockin’ up to the afterparty with an evo member ! guess they’re not really switchin’ loyalties if there’s no evo left ! listeners, did you catch who the mystery person was ? some people are sayin’ that they looked a whole lot like evo’s committee member, noa ( @w1lshire ), but we can’t too sure ! but boy, do things seem to really be sizzlin’ up in evo — or is it too soon to say, ex-evo ! — ‘cause we spotted another, totally unexpected combo couple in evo’s treasurer ( @key2earth ) and one of blue hall’s very own ra, taeho ( @moonvitas ) ! ziying sure looked comfy in taeho’s hoodie, but is it warm enough to break the bro code datin’ all the way back to the ice age ? pretty sure it says somethin’ about not sleepin’ with your best friend’s sister ! well, taeho — for your friendship’s sake, we hope that it was nothin’ like whatever the hell was happenin’ in evo vp’s ( @redlike ) room, ‘cause did anyone else hear all that thumpin’ and grindin’, or was it just me ? a little birdie told me that hanbi’s friend looked a whole lot like t4d’s treasurer ( @dichotomousvariable ) — damn, didn’t know they could throw it down like that ! — and you might be thinkin’, how’d someone from t4d even get in ? well, i’ll tell ya ! turns out, if you were strugglin’ with the bouncer, pulgasari’s captain’s ( @detagen ) got ya ! yep, he was smugglin’ t4d folk in all night long from his room’s window ! guess we know who that guy’s votin’ for — ( and who evo’s bannin’ in their next party… that’s if they’re even alive, of course ) !

whew, what a crazy night ! of course, none of this would’ve been possible if not for the mysterious spiked punch, courtesy of none other than — drumroll, please ! — yellow hall’s secretary, cheong nayeon ( @ircnbeauty ) ! a special round of applause to you for makin’ this all work ! now, while we recover from our wicked hangovers — damn, what did they put in that drink ? — i’d like to wish you all a wonderful winter break ! to those of you goin’ back to your homes and home countries for the month, we suggest you pack light, ‘cause you’ll want to be back here in time for the next semester and — you guessed it ! — the long awaited WINTER RALLY !

that’s all, folks ! see you on the next episode of ANOMALEAKS !

OUT OF CHARACTER INFO

happy winter break, everyone! we’d like to thank those of you who have participated in our first curious currents event! feel free to use any of these rumours that’ve been posted as plot points — this anomaleaks episode and all the included gossip, truth or slander, are canon! this episode also marks the end of the school semester, so muses may make their way home for the holidays, continue staying in their respective residential halls, or participate in any other holiday activity you wish. you’re welcome to write threads outside of the university as sua will be closed for winter break too! we know that this is a busy time for most of us, so the admins just wanted to thank you all once again, and wish you a happy holidays! p.s. the next event — yes, the highly anticipated winter rally — is scheduled to drop sometime early to mid january 2024! stay tuned, and stay super! ♡

#nm:event #nm:charitycrash

19 notes · View notes

onesillybeach · 1 year

Text

I just went off on a tangent in the group chat, but I want to share it, cause like... Does anyone else feel this way?

___

I think Vegeta holds his intelligence, and other's intelligence, with a certain pride. Like recognizes that it's super important. Which is why he seems to respect Gohan more than Goku. Cause he can see Gohan is actually striving for knowledge, unlike Goku who just wants to get stronger and stronger.

That's not to say Goku isn't a smart fighter. He's super intelligent when it comes to martial arts and combat.

I also believe Vegeta was attracted to Bulma, not just because she's strong-willed and beautiful, but she's highly intelligent. I think King Vegeta, being regarded as the smartest Saiyan in his time, probably instilled that into his son. Like: "Listen, son. Being strong is important, but being smart is necessary. Our family did not come to such power by muscle alone. You must train your mind as much, if not more, than your body."

But then when Frieza got a hold of him, Frieza knew that if he kept the Saiyans stupid, then they could continue to be controlled. But Vegeta was just a kid when Frieza got to him. Vegeta was still very much impressionable. And Frieza fucking used that. He made sure to convince Vegeta that strength was everything. You have to be strong. If you aren't strong, you're weak, and useless. And useless soldiers die. Just be strong. Which I think would have created a conflict in Vegeta. He's got Frieza threatening to kill him if he doesn't keep getting stronger. And he's got his dad in his head saying he has to be smart. So eventually, he learns to hide his intelligence from Frieza. He has it, but doesn't dare use it. He can't. Frieza doesn't want to see that. And then as years go by, it just becomes part of his personality. Secretly smart. Outwardly strong and egotistical. And years go by. It's gets worse. More years go by. It's so much worse. Vegeta's now 20 and a complete asshole and has great strength. But no one even suspects he's got a functioning brain. He's just a stupid monkey Just this obscenely strong stupid monkey And then on Namek, Frieza death beams Vegeta. And we see his real intelligence. We see a piece of the real Vegeta as he fucking cries and tells Goku about what happened on Planet Vegeta and why he joined Frieza in the first place. It's a very small little snippet of the real Vegeta. But it fucking speaks volumes. He tells Goku those things because he's figured out that Goku gains strength through emotion. Vegeta has figured out, in the very short amount of time he's actually known Goku, that Goku is a genius martial artist and uses his sentimentality to find the strength and will to keep fucking going until he's either dead or his opponent is. Vegeta is feeding Goku his own pent up emotions and hoping Goku can sympathize or even empathize with him and use it to kill Frieza for good. And it fucking works. Cause Goku ends up fighting not only for himself and his friends and family like always, but he fights for Vegeta and his entire obliterated race that he's never known. And the only reason Frieza didn't die, was because Goku gave Frieza a chance to live. And Frieza, obviously, is fucking durable as fuck

#dragon ball super #dragon ball z #dragon ball #db #dbz #dbs #Vegeta

164 notes · View notes

tomcat-reusables · 8 months

Text

Why Asteroid City is Better Than the Reviews, IMDb Isn’t Always Right, and You’re a Shitty Painting - an essay of sorts

Asteroid City (2023), despite what critics would have you believe given it’s rated just a sliver above the 2012 adaptation of Dr Seuss's “The Lorax '', was (to me) genuinely a fantastic movie. For its entire run I sat there in the theatre, thinking “why can’t people appreciate this film!”. I’m sick of the reviews blatantly coming from the place of the critics analysing it from the lens of a science fiction story when in reality, it’s more-so an abstract exploration of the delicate relationship between art, artist, portrayal and probably not aliens.

ASTEROID CITY IS NOT A SCI FI MOVIE AND I'M GOING TO BOMB THE IMDB HEADQUARTERS IF I SEE ONE MORE BIG SHOT MOVIE CRITIC INSISTING THAT IT IS (for all intents and purposes this is a joke, to the fbi agent looking through my webcam I’m a pretentious teenager year old without the technical knowledge to make any kind of explosive device)

Or maybe it isn’t supposed to be understood at all, maybe that movie was simply an excuse to build a fake town in the desert and some puppets. And in a way that’s just as beautiful, postmodernism is more than worthy of critique, but when it looks pretty and makes us feel anything at all, it’s safe to say it’s at least partially doing it’s job

Asteroid city however, is merely an example I used to express my burning personal hatred for movie critics. I actively avoid reading the reviews for anything that brings me joy, because I’m aware at this point that the statements I read are going to contain some of the most insane, infuriating possible opinions anyone could have of a piece of media, and I am beginning to suspect more and more that critics, not just of movies but of genuinely anything in existence that can possibly be critiqued, aren’t expressing their legitimate opinions but rather spewing whatever inflammatory nonsense they believe will cause some kind of controversy or outrage, because outrage sells. If one fact has been proven over the course of human civilization, it’s that outrage gets more clicks, more views, more exposure.

Obviously anyone in their right or wrong mind understands that someone else’s opinion doesn’t at all determine the objective quality of a given ‘thing’, but it can often be hard to NOT give what they have to say a chance. I genuinely resent possessing the empathy to consider the thoughts of others despite how objectively incorrect they seem. But they’re people too! They could have a point! I say to myself as they tear apart something that is personally very meaningful to me. Curse in disguise I guess. But in the end, what is objective quality? if something at its core is bad, but you receive personal enjoyment from it, or it’s even sentimental to you or has made a positive change in your life, does it quality or lack of matter? Does it really matter what some 45 year old man sipping on a glass of champagne as he adjusts his spectacles to spew pretentious nonsense into the IMDb critic reviews, might think about a movie that got you through a rough time, or an album you grew up listening to? Are we allowed to enjoy ‘bad’ art? And most divisive of all, is there such a thing as bad art?

I once read an article about a museum of bad art, submissions would often be rejected for being too good. And yes, the examples of art displayed within this unique exhibition were unnerving, technically poor, but meaningless? I’m not at all one to determine that. Even absolutely meaningless, humorous, random art has a meaning, and that meaning is derived from the fact that no matter how positively offensive to the eyes or ears may be, it was still created. Think about everything that’s ever come into existence within the fabric of our reality, no, think about everything that hasn’t. It’s impossible for us to imagine the magnitude of the things that are possible but simply haven’t been thought of, conceived. Maybe it’s a hit to your self esteem to think your parents could have given birth to the next DaVinci, the next Stephen Hawking, the second coming of Christ! But instead gave birth to you. Do you consider yourself a work of bad art? Does your life have meaning?

All this to simply explain that the interpretations of a few writers put on a pedestal shouldn’t have any place to decide our stance on a piece of media. Yes these reviews can certainly influence the way we feel, or articulate the points we have, but if or when you feel genuinely hurt by the fact that someone disagrees with, misunderstands or dislikes something that’s personally meaningful and enjoyable to you, their opinion doesn’t always matter regardless of the status their name may have achieved (this is of course, excluding when the media in question is blatantly problematic, which poses another debate in itself. Is it still homophobic if I like it? Find out next time on I’m Getting Overly Passionate About Seeing Some Reviews I Disagree With)

In conclusion, it’s ok to enjoy what you enjoy, regardless of the subjective or even objective quality of it, we as the consumers are the ones to truly decide how “good” or “bad” something is. That’s the core concept behind why critics exist, to guide those who don’t wish to form an opinion for themselves, to do the job for us, but when we’ve done said job for ourselves it’s never wrong to disagree with someone over something that is personally meaningful to you. It’s almost guaranteed someone will disagree with the points made in this essay of sorts, but that doesn’t make either of us right or wrong. In the end, these previous 962 words have truly amounted to one encompassing phrase: “you are entitled to your opinion”

#asteroid city #wes anderson #essay #bad art is good actually #fun fact I’m an amateur writer or something #Don’t take this too seriously I wrote half of it in class

27 notes · View notes

muzzleroars · 3 months

Note

whenever i listen to Wine and Wheat by Madds Buckley, every time i just find myself thinking about your Gabe and V1... My Love Is Sick by the same artist makes me think of Michael and V2 and aaaa i love these archangels and their funny robots!! i love your writing and art for them so so so much

ooouuughghhh yesss the interplay between gabriel's love and his deconstruction is SO important and that's just what this makes me think of....an angel's entire being and status is defined by their relationship with their faith, it is central to what they are, so his severing, no matter how necessary, sees him panic- and grief-stricken many times throughout the process. his relationship with v1 is really his only anchor, something he clings to especially early on when he's sent so adrift and more often than not feeling tainted and corrupt - yet in v1 he feels moved by that faith so core to what he is. v1 has radically altered everything about his world, it destroyed the paradigms it was built on only to rapidly construct something new, something wholly individual to gabriel, yet it also awakened his faith after so long of it lying dormant in the cold halls of hell. i talked about the line "now this is a fight worthy of god's will", spoken by gabriel as the apostate of hate, but that line is pivotal to what he's experiencing - it is rapture, religious ecstasy of the self and of the one that evoked it, v1 reviving his love of god in the total absence of that very deity. it is an explosive moment, it is redefining and empowering, but its other side is blasphemy, sacrilege, profanity. and gabriel cycles through both, at once bursting with all that he is and loving v1 to the point of worship, but then devoured by the sin of his guilt, by his hellish punishment...how he must contend with it even, that his happiness isn't permitted. for so long he is forced to believe he is incomplete without the love of god and that his joy in himself and v1 is transient, illusory, and evil at its root.

GLAD I CAN GO CRAZY ABOUT MIKE AND V2 TOO....their relationship is very much defined by two parties who do NOT want it. michael in particular has never gotten close to anyone, not since the age of innocence, far too traumatized by his losses to ever seek out even friendship. v2 believes its deeper emotional life is its failing in hell, setting it apart from all the other machines, and besides....it sees the death in this world. anything could go at any second, and mike is topping that list. so when they do start falling in love with one another, it absolutely feels like a sickness. michael's state can't be ignored, particularly as it progresses and it begins causing bouts of severe illness - it feels cruel to him to let v2 in knowing he's dying, and v2 hates that it seems to have fallen for the one person in all this guaranteed to leave it. but it just. it's too much for both of them, how much they see themselves in the other, how much they can be understood on a level no one else is able to, and all the reminders of michael's time winding down soon serves as no barrier. v2 calls on him when it needs help, soon it's the only one beside raphael that he trusts to care for him when he's sick, and they lean on the other for all the support they can't find outside one another. the way this will end isn't quiet between them, they both acknowledge michael's rot, far beyond what the other archangels do...but v2 won't leave him now. it will work on a treatment for as long as mike lives, it will talk him through his grief and share in it with him, and it will be with him whenever this ends.

#i think part of what calms mike down is literally just.#no longer wanting to put himself at so much risk for v2's sake #like tearing himself apart isn't an option anymore. it's cruel #BUT THANKS FOR LISTENING....#i need to draw these four on a double date. i have ideas #cake answers #v1 #gabriel #v2 #michael

13 notes · View notes

blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk · 6 months

Note

Requesting non-romantic headcanons of the four Weston dorms (separate) having a student in their house that's the go-to inventor and fixer, who always has their head in the clouds about the next thing to make

They fix and make things just fine, it's just the process of making and testing that cause messes in the dorm

Like Violet having to deal with the fact this is the second time they've broken an important pipe, or Greenhill with broken windows after some automatic ball-throwing thingy-majig meant to help them with cricket practice (to be fair, Midford did ask for it) wouldn't turn off

bahahaha this is so good! poor boys XD

Well, it’s sort of like a problem for the dorms, of course. Does he care as much? Hmm… no, not really. Until it starts to directly affect him (here meaning affecting his frequent naps), he doesn’t pay (Name) too much thought. Most of the issues, Edgar tends to sleep through and leave for others.

Most of the time, he leaves all the problems that this person causes to Maurice to sort out. Either him or Joanne, depending on who happens to be available. … It usually falls to Maurice given that he has more of a backbone than Joanne. Edgar essentially shrugs and says, “Cole, take care of it, won’t you?” rather than deal with it himself. It’s half legitimate depression making it difficult for him to actually do things, and half him just being lazy and not feeling like doing things.

About the time that (Name) ‘fixes’ Edgar’s favorite sofa by replacing it with one they made which is too soft and completely swallows him when he sinks into it, that’s when he starts getting involved. They can’t mess with his sleep schedule like this and just think it’s going to be fine! He tries to convince them to stop, threatening Y’s if they don’t at least stop… fixing… things that he frequently uses.

As bothersome as the whole thing is, Gregory is at least more proactive than Edgar in the same situation. While he tries not to be harsh, he doesn’t pull punches in reminding (Name) that, well, they’ve broken the pipe, so they need to fix it now. (Both times, in fact.) He keeps reminding them until it gets done.

If nothing else, he has the honor to not send Cheslock to do his dirty work. Cheslock just gets sent on errands to fetch things. Gregory wants so badly to simply ban (Name) from doing any testing in their dorm. He’s not very diplomatic, either, struggling to find the right way to say, “Listen, I appreciate your fixing things round here, but you have to be more careful not to break other things while you’re fixing the first thing, alright?”

The broken pipes are, quite honestly, the biggest headache that he has to deal with. Being that Violet Wolf is full of artists of all kinds, the dorms are filled with instruments and projects. Any of them getting ruined is more complicated than having to replace books which are already in circulation or sports equipment that wears out quickly. It’s a blow to one’s creativity. And water damage is spectacularly effective in destroying art, writing, and musical instruments. (Name) has to learn how to be more careful in general, but especially he needs them to not break any more pipes lest they want to also break artists’ hearts.

Is potentially the most frustrated by it than his friends would be. Though anyone who had to deal with it would be irritated, Herman has to try extra hard not to let his temper get the best of him. He knows that (Name) is just trying to be of service, which is admirable… so why does it get under his skin so much?? Because they’ve been told multiple times to be more careful and it feels like they just aren’t listening? Dammit. He knows they don’t mean to be so spacey…

At first he’s quite happy to have someone inventing things which will help him and the rest of the house improve their game. He even encourages it. Sports and cricket in particular are something he’s passionate about, so he’s excited to see what they come up with. Until they come up with a machine — at Edward’s request — that pitches balls and happens to also break windows. Clearly things have gone sideways, so he’s fast in getting (Name) to not make any more sports inventions.

He’s so disheartened by the broken windows. They’re a gigantic pain in the rear to fix, and it often means a day or two wasted in replacing the glass depending on how many were broken. In the meantime, the dorm is exposed to cold, rain/snow, or blistering heat, as well as insects. There’s not much help from anyone else because of the house rivalries. So he absolutely recruits (Name) in helping fix it; it’s at least half their fault and half Edward’s for the initial suggestion, so neither of those two are getting out of helping with repairs. And Herman will gladly crack the metaphorical whip if he needs to.

Good Lord, can he have no rest at all? No? Fine, then. He’s endlessly aggravated by the whole situation, but he tries very hard to keep his composure. Lawrence can at least appreciate the intelligence of a scientific mind such as (Name)’s, so he attempts to nurture that. Of course, that’s incredibly hard to do when they keep causing trouble in the dorm despite not meaning to.

He’s another one who might send his fag to deal with this if he’s a bit too busy to do it himself. (Though as opposed to Edgar, Lawrence does so not because of depression or laziness, rather because he genuinely is quite busy with studies and extracurriculars.) Clayton has a sadistic streak which Lawrence finds useful in firmly reminding (Name) that they have something to clean up or that Lawrence needs them to not tinker around with something in a certain area today.

More exhausting than anything is if he has to keep replacing books thanks to (Name)’s inventions. It’s not uncommon that their experiments and projects will end up accidentally tearing apart books entirely or shredding pages or destroying them in some other fashion. Lawrence’s respect for the written word and pride in his dorm’s personal book collection can’t take much more of this! Not to mention that the books are often required for coursework, so it legitimately hurts everyone’s marks. Isn’t (Name) at all bothered by this???

#Black Butler #Kuroshitsuji #Edgar #Gregory #Herman #Lawrence #headcanons #platonic #friendship #humor #drama #PLSSSSS ur stressing them out they are Delicate Men xDD #one hell of a queue

9 notes · View notes

24-7fandombrain · 11 months

Text

Clown school (yes I actually mean clown school) ends for me tomorrow, so here's what I think each of the main six's clowns would look like!

(For clarity's sake, I'm not talking about circus clowns. This is clowning based on Jacques Lecoq's theories of acting, in which the clown nose acts as a mask to give the performer permission to lose their inhibitions. This action, putting on the nose, allows that performer's clown to manifest and take control.)

Gov's Clown- Red White Blue

Red White Blue (usually shortened to just Red) is one of the most relaxed clowns out of everyone in the statehouse. Red frequently moves around without a care in the world, including what is expected of him. Gov will let his clown out whenever he's feeling overwhelmed by all that's happening around him. Red isn't much of a troublemaker, and can usually be trusted to be left to his own devices. However, he cannot be trusted with a secret. He has very loose lips and will tell anyone anything that he knows. Red wears the simplest costume, just a T-shirt and sweatpants. His favorite activities include sleeping, lounging in Gov's desk chair, and eating other people's food.

Texas's Clown- Bluebonnet

Bluebonnet is, surprisingly, the nicest and friendliest of the clowns. The true embodiment of "southern hospitality", Bluebonnet will often give random items to other people and clowns as presents (my clown does this a lot with plastic silverware). They don't get into much trouble on their own, but can be persuaded to by other clowns. Texas doesn't like letting his clown out and deeply dislikes Bluebonnet, though Austin really like him and does his best to persuade Texas to get him out more (I might make a post about Austin's clown later). Bluebonnet's favorite activities include

California's Clown- Hollywood

Hollywood is a very energetic clown, quite literally bouncing off the walls if he's left alone for too long. He's very artistic, though this can lead to some minor property damage when they use walls, floors, and furniture as "canvases". Like Red, Hollywood doesn't really care about what other people think of them, but they love attention being on them. It's for this reason that California usually doesn't bring them out without an audience present. Hollywood loves interacting with an audience, sometimes bringing members up during sets. They are also highly emotional and easily upset. They love putting hats, jackets, and other costume pieces on others, and if you don't let them, they will cry. Hollywood's favorite activities include singing, painting, and making outfits for people.

New York's Clown- Rat

Rat is almost the complete opposite of New York. Sweet, aloof, and easygoing, Rat gets along well with most people and clowns and rarely holds a grudge. He is more of a follower than a leader, content to follow the lead of other clowns and the clown handler (a clown handler is someone who keeps an eye on the clown and keeps them on target. They also make sure that the clown doesn't get hurt or accidentally hurts anyone else). He's one of the calmest clowns in the statehouse, as not much can cause him to lose his cool. Having said that, when Rat does get upset, he will get very quiet and develop a thousand-yard stare. This side of Rat makes him potentially one of the scariest clowns in the statehouse. While New York will never admit it, he loves clowning and is very fond of Rat. Rat's favorite activities include being around people, playing with animals, and lounging on the couch.

Florida's Clown- Gator

Gator is very similar to Florida, as Florida doesn't have many inhibitions to lose. However, there is one major difference between Gator and Florida, in that Gator can be somewhat controlled. While it takes a very specific person, someone who is direct, assertive, and friendly towards Gator, Gator is willing to listen to his clown handler and stop. Gator has by far caused the most damage, often intentionally breaking things just to see them break. Florida adores Gator, and often wishes that he and Gator could get into trouble together. His favorite activities include hiding behind corners to scare people, cartwheeling down long hallways, and inacting long-winded plans to cause chaos.

Louisiana's Clown- Daiquiri

Like Florida and Gator, Louisiana and Daiquiri are very similar. Daiquiri has somewhat of a calming effect on Gator, though not to the point where a clown handler isn't an absolute necessity. Daiquiri himself is pretty laid-back, usually not worried about anything other than where he can get his next drink. While Daiquiri loves drinking, he can't actually tell what is and isn't alcohol. Giving Daiquiri many glasses of water and telling him it's alcohol is the only known way to get Louisiana sober. Despite this, Louisiana likes letting Daiquiri out as Daiquiri makes friends easily. Daiquiri's favorite activities include drinking, drinking, and more drinking.

(If you want to hear what I think other states's clowns would look like, lmk)

#welcome to the table #wttt #welcome to the statehouse #ben brainard #wttt gov #wttt california #wttt texas #wttt new york #wttt louisiana #wttt florida #clowning

14 notes · View notes

statementlou · 1 year

Note

I'm not gonna lie, Louis referring to his queer fans or the fact the he has them as "weird" would be pretty disheartening. one thing was to do that in 2014 around the great gay war, with so many indicators that they were actively fighting. another is to do this now, in 2023. and even a straight artist not for one second to consider his lyrics could resonate with queer fans regardless of larry would be a bit shitty. I'm just saying that whatever he says is gonna be VERY hard to believe he was forced to. And if he openly shits on Harry it's safe to say his career - as the chance of 1D ever reunite even for a quick photo - is over.

well I absolutely agree that he will not have been 'forced' to say anything that he says in this movie. And I hear where you are coming from, but I just think the catastrophizing is unnecessary. First of all, we have ONE (1) almost certainly made up and definitely purposefully shit stirring anon (and a slow news day) to thank for all this discourse, we have no idea yet what will be in the movie, and it is always weird to me that people are so ready to believe the worst when I, personally, feel like Louis always comes through for me and gives me the BEST. Have FAITH in LOUIS!! WHEN does he let us down like literally WHEN???? (Unless all you care about is him coming out/ ending it/ confirming larry, in which case, IDK, get your priorities right and appreciate what's in front of you? Cause those things are not happening.) But anyway...

I can completely imagine a scenario in which Louis says he thinks it's weird that so many queers feel inspired by him and it makes me want to hug him forever- because I think he does find it weird and remarkable. It makes me think of that one 1D days receipt where someone said they met him on the street and told him he inspired them as a gay and he was like "I don't see how with the way things are but that means a lot." I think that was probably made up, but also it rings true to me, I feel like he does find it wild that with the public face of everything we still are here and love him so much and see what we do in him and think he's brave. As for the Harry thing, anything he says about him will be taken wrong and distorted and picked on by everyone, if he says anything at all less than "he's my husband and has never done anything wrong in his entire life he is perfect" people will say he's "shitting on Harry"; but that said, Louis is an intelligent media trained person, why are people seriously debating whether he's gonna get on screen and talk shit about Harry Styles?! also literally when in Louis' entire life has he ever said one single bad thing about Harry come on It's not fucking realistic and that alone should tell you that that anon either made all that up or it's just a really bad interpretation of whatever was actually said because the person, like everyone else around here, was so busy expecting the worst that they couldn't just chill and listen to Louis. Like, worst case scenario, let's say he does say that Harry was being offered some really incredible opportunities and he wanted to take them and Louis hadn't really thought about what he would do after the band and so when that happened he felt blindsided and adrift by suddenly not having his ever waking moment scheduled and accounted for (as Liam has also talked about experiencing), would that be so horrible??? That sounds like real life stuff and I don't personally think anyone is the bad guy there or it's horrible to say, but also I BET HE DOESN'T SAY THAT. IDK man, I just think we should all calm down and wait and see, but I'm REALLY not worried that the bombshell of this movie will be Louis coming out as being against Harry or talking shit about his fans, you know?! Come ON. I expect that with the premieres before the release we're going to get a whole lot more overwrought interpretations of things but I don't buy it; I look forward to hearing what Louis has to say and I will be real surprised if it isn't reasonable and interesting and probably mostly NOT THAT BIG A DEAL

#louis has adhd however taxing it may have been I feel like having people figure out everything for him and just tell him where to be #was probably kind of great for him #and transitioning to having to figure everything out from scratch all alone was probably hard as hell even without #everything else that was going on #let him talk about it without making it about the others #blah blah blah

14 notes · View notes

babykangaemoji · 2 years

Text

Tell me you love me already - Dieter Bravo x f!reader

Heeey so this is super fluffy, angsty and a slow burn! It’s my first time writing something like this soooo, lets hope I’ve done it justice! The timeline is kinda whacked as well so sorry, this is set before, during and after the bubble.

I decided to not put smut in, it just didn’t feel right. Probs will do a silly sequel where we get a glimpse of what life is like after this n it’ll be smutty.

WORD COUNT: 11.7k (I got carried away) RATING: M 18+ NO MINORS!! There is no explicit smut, but adult themes!

SUMMARY: You and Dieter have been friends since the day you met, but Dieter has always wanted more than that, he watches you go through different people, getting your heart broken and then when Dieter thinks he falls in love, nearly loses his life, it all changes.

WARNINGS: bi!dieter, bi!reader, actress!reader, dieter gets sober, swearing, drug use, slow burn, alcohol, over dosing, bad treatment, heartbreak, cheating.

You had met Dieter when you worked on a project that was low budget, but as an up and coming artist, you didn’t turn down the opportunity to work with an actor like Dieter Bravo. It was only a small thing, just a short film about nothing that interesting but this could be a big move for your career, it was obvious Dieter didn’t want to be there and was just doing this to help his public image, after all, a big actor working with unknown actors, looking as if he was genuinely wanting to help them find stardom? People like that shit.

Dieter had noticed you as soon as you walked on set, your eyes bright, cheeks full and you came across so… genuine. You two had hit it off straight away, the same sense of humor, you bonded over the donuts, Dieter even sharing half of the last one with you. Your agent then called you that night to tell you not to get too close to him due to his reputation but you didn’t listen.

He had never wanted to just... kiss someone more. He didn’t even feel like he wanted to just completely rip your clothes off and have his way with you (not that he didn’t, he definitely did) but something about you just felt different. He couldn’t get enough of being around you, he knew he cared for you more than he should just from the first day of working together but Dieter was an indulgent man and indulge he would.

You became friends quickly, Dieter didn’t try to pull his normal shit on you to bed you like he would with anyone else. He wanted to be careful with you, like he didn’t want to do anything to scare you away.

This project would end up being the only thing Dieter ever watched of his own shit, just to see you whenever he could. He was lovesick from day one.

OCTOBER 2018

“Ugh! I hate boys!” You shouted, as you slammed a cupboard door in Dieter’s stupidly large kitchen, you had got a large wine glass, which you doubt had ever actually been used, and poured yourself a very large glass of white wine.

“I know you do, fuck Tristan” Dieter grumbled from where he was sat at his breakfast bar, you turned round to see him tapping his nostril.

“First, this one is called Sam and second, you know I hate when you do that around me” you mumbled quiet, taking a sip of your wine, watching him slide a small baggie of white power away from him.

“Sorry baby, shit day on set… also where did Tristan go?” he asked, looking over the sunglasses perched on the end of his curved nose. God you looked good like this, low cut vest top and a pair of comfy sweats that just so happened to belong to Dieter. You always stole his clothes when you came over, normally because you wanted to just be comfortable, but part of you just liked feeling him close to your skin.

“Tristan was before Sam but after Willow…” you huffed, leaning over the counter in front of him. He dropped his sunglasses onto the counter. You took another sip of your wine, Dieter taking a drink of his tumbler of whiskey.

“Why don’t you ever just date someone older?” he said. Which caused you to snort with laughter, Dieter pulled a face that looked as if you just rejected him. You kind of did without even realising it.

“What, someone like your age?” You teased, he pouted playfully.

“Shut up. I’m only… 19 years older than you” he said, the final words coming out slower as he came to his relisation of just how big the age difference was. “Fuck it, whatever, so why did Tris- shit, Sam piss you off?”

And he sat there, listening, watching you rant about the boy, drink your wine, just like he did, nearly once a month after a new person you had met, dated a couple of times and said you thought might be the one before they ultimately pissed you off. Dieter would do it again and again, just so he could be near you, see you, even if hearing you talk about these other people romantically made his heart ache. He knew you’d never want him, he knew he was too old for you, he knew you weren’t interested in him like that, you had said you saw him like family, which let him know you definitely did not reciprocate the feelings in his chest.

But neither did you. You didn’t know you would eventually fall in love with the man before you.

DECEMBER 2018

“Dieter!” you squealed, running up to your friend and throwing your arms around him from behind, nearly knocking the wind out of his lungs.

“Fuck! Ow!” He yelled, you laughed as you moved round to his front and hung off his neck, grinning up at him like an idiot. He knew that grin, you were drunk, I mean, who wasn’t right now? Dieter had taken you to an awards event as his plus one, then he had brought you to an after party at some rich hollywood stars mansion house, which had an open bar courtesy of the host.

“Shh I didn’t hurt you, old man” you teased, he huffed. One of your hands moved to trail down his cheek. “You’re so handsome” you hummed. Fuck. He tried to keep his eyes trained on your face but they kept falling to your lips. “Y’know, if you were younger, I’d date you” you admitted. It caused his emotions to burst, both with joy and with pain at the same time. You’d date him. You would date him. Only if he was younger. Fuck why couldn’t he just have been born a little later?

“You are very drunk” he stated, not resisting to nuzzle your hand that was caressing his cheek.

“And you’re high, what’s ya point?” you said, tilting your head to get a better look at his face. You had always thought he was attractive, how could you not? His strong nose, his soft eyes and not to mention his smile and the way his whole expression lit up when he did.

“You want some?” he asked, his face beaming. You rolled your eyes and shook your head.

“No Bravo, I’m good. I could go for another drink. I swear I had a sexy date round here to go fetch my drinks…” you said, sighing, you tipped your head to the side. “Know where they got to?” you teased. Wait, were you flirting with him?

Before he could answer, your name was being shouted by a group of people from somewhere across near the dance floor.

“Oh! This song is my shit! See you later Diets!” you squeezed his neck, and before he could process what was happening, you pressed your lips to his quickly, before running off towards the people to start dancing and incredibly badly shouting the lyrics to the song currently booming through the party.

Dieter stayed still, you hadn’t even kissed him properly, just pressed your lips to his for a fleeting second but fuck did it make his heart race. He had to get out of here, but he couldn’t leave you here alone, his fingers briefly touched his lips as if trying to feel you lingering there. He turned around walking towards the bathrooms, walking into one of his buddies and Dieter gave him a pill to take before taking his own. This would take the edge off and help him forget the kiss, not real kiss.

The next time Dieter saw you that night, you had some girl in your arms and you were kissing her like he wanted to kiss you. Your lips moving together in a fever as if you wouldn't survive again if you didn’t drink down this woman in front of you, she was beautiful, just like you, Dieter thought. He wondered for a second if he was just really high but he knew he wasn’t, he wished he was high enough to not remember this but he knew he would. He watched as you lead the girl off through the crowd, disappearing right in front of him.

He had to leave, but he didn’t want to leave alone. He wanted to leave with you, but you had very different plans. So, Dieter found some pretty thing at the party who fawned over him and his career to forget about all his problems, to forget about you, that tiny, meaningless kiss and about that girl.

He woke the next day, to that girl naked in his bed, rolled over onto her side. He had a splitting headache, reaching over to grab his phone from the bedside to check the time. It couldn’t of been any earlier than 10, he didn’t get home until nearly 3am and you’d already left the party.

He clicked his phone, 11:38 am - 1 message.

“Took girl back, sorry for ditchiing early - lvoe u” from you. Fuck.

At least you were home and safe.

Dieter hadn’t forgotten about that kiss, he presumed you would be too drunk to even remember, he was right, you didn’t, it would be until a few years later, that you would be reminded of it.

—

EARLY MARCH 2019

You had been dating Lily for little over three months and you were absolutely enamored with her. She was beautiful, elegant and confident in her own skin. You had thanked Dieter multiple times for bringing you to that awards event, otherwise you wouldn’t have met her. He’d just grumble out a “you’re welcome” which wasn’t unlike Dieter.

You had decided to bring Lily along to a dinner you were having with some friends, Dieter was going to be there and you wanted to have them meet properly, Dieter was your best friend now and it was important to him that your new girlfriend met him. So you walked up to your friend's front door, hand in hand with your fingers laced with the amazing woman next to you, knocking excitedly.

Your friend opened the door, giving you both a quick hug and leading inside her home to her kitchen at the back.

“Is Dieter here yet?” you asked, your friend turning her head to you.

“Oh did he not tell you? Can’t make it. Work commitment or something” she said, as she poured you both large glasses of alcoholic iced tea. Your heart dropped, he had told you that morning he was coming, also, a work commitment was bullshit, you knew Dieter and you knew that was his go to excuse when he didn’t want to do something.

“No. He didn’t.” you said, slightly annoyed. Lily squeezed your hand, instantly helping you to soften.

“It’s okay baby, maybe next time” she assured, taking her cocktail. She was right, she could meet Dieter next time. You would just try to enjoy the rest of your night.

Meanwhile, Dieter was in his large and incredibly empty feeling mini mansion home. Blow on the table, a girl laid out naked on his couch smoking a blunt he just rolled her, a glass of whiskey in hand as he popped a pill in his mouth, using the drink to wash it down.

A hand came down to run over his bare chest, a pair of lips running along his neck as he laid his head back the young, handsome man behind him. He was licking up the shell of his ear, his tongue running over the earring that dangled from Dieters lobe. Dieter turned his head to press his lips to the mans next to him, no matter who he kissed, who he fucked or who fucked him, he always found himself wishing it was you.

This was just a temporary distraction from his feelings, from the new girl in your life who has stuck about longer than the rest. These people in his house right now didn’t know him like you did, even with company he felt lonely. His phone buzzed, Dieter pulling away from the kiss to check it.

1 message.

“Why didn’t you show tonight? You okay?” You. He couldn’t do this right now, he turned off his phone, throwing it on the floor, doesn’t need it messing with his brain waves anyway. He turned to look at the girl on his large couch.

“Get over here and suck my cock whilst I suck his” he demanded, she didn’t hesitate. That’s how he spent the rest of his night, trying to forget about you and your new girlfriend.

JUNE 2019

Well, Dieter didn’t get a fucking choice now. He was finally going to have to face your girlfriend. Lily. The girl from the party. Fuck why did he have to invite you? If he hadn’t, you wouldn’t have met her and you wouldn’t have ended up in a relationship.

He’d just hung up the phone with you, you had been cast in your first major blockbuster film, all thanks to his agency. Dieter had got you signed up a couple of months ago, they needed a reliable client since Dieter was in fact, not a reliable client, but he made them money so they kept him around.

He had stupidly said you could use his home for a mini party to celebrate, you ran in a similar friend circle anyway, plus it would only be a few people. Plus he had a pool and a well stocked bar. And drugs. Yeah, the drugs would get him through. You had told him just before you hung up that Lily would be coming and he instantly wanted to cancel, but knew he couldn’t.

He rang his PA, asking them to order pizza’s, your favourite kind, which he knew off by heart. Asking them to make sure he had plenty of beer in the fridge as well as starting the firepit outside. He reluctantly shrugged off his green robe and threw it over his couch, pulling on a knitted jumper, shoving on his crocs and putting his rings back on. He shoved a few of the plates in the sink and before he knew it, people were in his space, outside round the pool and the firepit.

He had done a couple of bumps of coke, as normal, started off a bong for people to pass around, he couldn’t help but roll his eyes when Lily took it. You watched her with a giggle on your face, fuck he hated that she made you react like that, why didn’t you look at him like that when he took a hit from a bong?

Dieter had made polite conversation with Lily, trying to not show that he had this dislike for even though she was nothing but kind, sweet and polite to him. She completely respected him and your relationship, but he was jealous and jealousy can turn a person against you very quickly, without even really knowing them.

It was getting late in the evening, there was a chill in the air, Dieter was pleasantly buzzed as he walked through his backyard, through his patio doors into the kitchen to grab another bottle of whiskey. He stopped in his tracks when he saw you reaching up into his cupboard, trying to grab down a large bag of sweet popcorn. You were wearing his green robe. The one he threw over the couch earlier, and you looked… fucking beautiful in it. How could you make something so old and tatty look so gorgeous?

You turned your head hearing the feet behind you. “Dieter! Thank fuck you’re here, I want snacks but can’t reach them! Could you grab em please?” you asked, your slight slurred tone letting him know you were definitely tipsy.

“Why are you wearing my robe?” he asked, completely ignoring your request. You looked down, shrugging, and then doing a twirl in it, fuck sake. You were far too sweet for this world.

“Oh, it looked comfy and I’m a little cold. Sorry I can take it off”

“No! No, keep it on. You’re okay” he said quickly, walking over to you, grabbing the snacks you wanted. “Here” he mumbled, standing a lot closer to you than he should have.

“Sorry you know what I get like when I’m high, horny and hungry” you laughed.

“The three H’s” he hummed.

You were looking up at him with big eyes, full of love and care, it set a fire off inside of him, you were standing here, wearing his robe, inches away from his face… he would have swore he saw your eyes flicker to his lips. You swallowed thickly, making eye-contact with him, and he thought If he just dipped his head down a bit he could-

“There you are baby! I wondered where you ran off to” he heard that chirpy voice, both of your heads snapping towards the direction of the door, breaking you out of the trance like state you’d felt you’d just been in, you jumped back a little. Looking over at Dieter quickly, before turning around to walk towards your girlfriend. “Hey Dieter” she said as she came up to wrap her arm around your waist.

Dieter put the snacks down on the kitchen island, before turning around to walk out of the kitchen without a word.

“What’s his problem?” Lily asked you, you looked up at her, shrugging, as if you hadn’t just stood there, looking at your best friend, with an overwhelming urge to grab him and crush your lips to his. “Baby, you okay?” she shook your shoulder.

“Oh, yeah, sorry, he’s just grumpy” you made an excuse for him. Lily tugged at the robe around your shoulder, she asked who’s it was. You said it was yours and that you left it here a few weeks ago, she didn’t question it. You weren’t sure what you just lied to her about who it belonged too.

—

NOVEMBER 2019

You were out in Greece filming your new movie, Dieter had come to visit you on the set of your new film.

He needed a break from the world, he often felt like that after a new project he had worked on came out, his latest film, Hunger Strike, had done incredibly well and there were even rumours he was in line for an Oscar. He had pressure from his agents, his PR teams, his PA, fucking everyone to keep his piblic image clean so he could be in for a chance to even be nominated. So he needed a break and when you suggested he came out to see you, he was on the next available flight. You were the only person not putting pressure on him, he could be himself around you, you were the perfect holiday from all the bullshit.

He had been here all week, taking advantage of the private villa the film crew had rented for you, using your pool, lounging around and just spending the time shutting himself off from the world. You had managed to get him some paints and a book from the art department of the film so he had something to do. You tried to suppress the way it made you feel when his face lit up with joy and he hugged you tight enough he could have popped your head off your shoulders.

But right now, you were sitting on the balcony, looking over the sunset, enjoying the few short hours you had left with your best friend before he had to fly back home.

“Can you believe I’ve been with Lils for nearly a year? 10 months!” you asked, as you looked across the sunset from where you had your head rested on Dieters broad shoulder.

“No, has it really been that long?” He asked, swirling the alcohol in his glass before throwing it back. You leaned over filling his glass again instantly, knowing he’d do it himself anyway. He said a gentle thanks.

“It doesn’t feel like it. Have you ever felt like this about someone?” you asked innocently, looking up to your friend, his sunglasses slipped down his nose slightly as he looked at you. You could see his warm brown eyes just over the top of them, they were filled with so much care and love for you.

“Once. When I was younger. She fucked some other dude, so I fucked her sister and her best friend at the same time” he grinned at you, and you snorted out a laugh, you didn’t doubt the truth behind his statement. Dieter was a dog and you knew that about him, the stories he told you could have you laughing for hours.

“I’m glad you’re here. These big movies are hard, aren’t they?” you said, shuffling closer to him as a breeze blew through the air. You leaned your head down back down to rest on his shoulder, this wasn’t unusual, you and Dieter were more than comfortable with each other and he wasn’t ever going to push you away anytime soon.

“Yeah they fucking suck. Nice place to film though, at least it’s not some shithole town” he grinned, you were looking up at him, smiling at his dimple that appeared every time he smiled.

“Thanks for coming Diets. You’re a really good friend” you said quietly, bumping his shoulder, you saw the way Dieter’s cheeks flushed, yours involuntary heating up. “I wish you didn’t have to go tomorrow”

“Me too but my agent is on my ass about getting back” he said, quietly dropping his tone, a little. You bit your lip as you looked over his face, Dieter’s free arm came round your shoulder, pulling you closer to him. You felt your heart start beating faster, your chest tightened at the same time as you looked over the man in front of you, his patchy scruff, wild hair and that nose, his tan skin and the way his eyes crinkled as he smiled. You felt yourself shift a little, Dieter doing the same, his eyes flicking to your lips as you both gently moved closer and closer, he was about to move to connect your lips until.

“Do you love her?” he asked.

“Who?” you said, staring at his lips as he spoke.

“Your girlfriend.”

Oh shit - your girlfriend, Lily! “Y-yeah, I mean, she’s amazing and funny and-”

“You don't.” he stated.

“What? Of course I do” you said, your tone coming across defensively.

“If you did, then you would have instantly just said yes and been sure of it” he said blunty, you pulled back, removing his arm from your shoulder. Dieter instantly felt his heart twang, fuck he shouldn’t of said that.

“Excuse me. You don’t get to make that assumption. You barely made the effort to fucking know the girl, since you’ve never tried, so don’t” you snapped at him, getting up from your spot on the sofa.

“Wait, wait, babe-” he leaned forward.

“Do not call me babe!” you whipped round, pointing your finger at him, causing him to sit back. “Just because you don’t like her, I do, I do love her, more than you could ever fucking understand” you said, you felt tears prick your eyes. You sighed, pinching your nose.

“I’m going to bed. Dunno if I’ll see you before you leave, but have a good flight, let me know when you get back home. Good night Dieter” You grabbed your glass off the table, before storming back into the villa. Dieter was about to get up and follow you but he heard the door to your bedroom slam, causing him to sit back down.

He put his head in his hands, he fucked it. He was this close, this close to kissing you, why did he have to open his big fucking mouth? God, how the fuck did he end up here?

—

You were gone before he woke, he checked his phone, nothing. He needed to leave for the airport in the next few hours, so he got up, got a shower and packed his bag. He kept checking his phone, hoping you would message, but you didn’t. He thought you might before his flight, nothing. Next he thought maybe once he landed, nothing.

Dieter sighed, once he got all the way back to his home, he took a bump of coke for courage. He sent you a message.

“I’m sorry for what I said. I shouldn’t have just assumed that you don’t love her, when you clearly do. If you hate me I understand, I’m sorry” he sent off.

It was a while before he got a reply but once it came, all anxiety he had dropped.

“I don’t hate you. I’ll see you when I’m home”

You had sent the message as soon as you got the chance, you didn’t hate him. In fact, it was the opposite. You weren’t drunk last night, you had one drink, you were sober, you were sober when you leant in, staring at his fucking plush lips, you were sober when the cheeky grin made your heart flutter and you were sober when he pointed out the fact that you did not love your girlfriend.

He was right. You hadn’t missed her as much as you missed Dieter whilst you were away. When she visited, you didn’t mind when she left, unlike when you came back in the evening, you missed Dieter being there, you missed seeing him floating on his back in the pool or painting away in that little book you got him.

That little book that you had found that evening, filled each with what looked like portraits, portraits of you.

FEBRUARY 10th 2020

“You won! You fucking won!” You screamed down the phone, which you had propped up so Dieter could see you. He was laughing, his hands over his face on your screen. He was grinning like an absolute idiot.

“I can’t believe you won! I’m so fucking proud of you” you grinned “Well I can believe it you know what I mean” you laughed. Your TV was still playing the Oscars, you’d been on the edge of your seat all evening waiting for Dieter’s category and when he won, you screamed so loud that you thought you could have broken the windows.

“What the fuck” he said, sighing, dragging his hands down his face, grinning at you. You got close to the phone again. “I can’t believe it..” he said, shaking his head as if he was trying to wake himself from a dream.

“You deserve it” you hummed, raising your glass to him before taking a drink.

“Thank you babe” he said, before he heard a ‘what did he just say?’ from behind the camera. Ah, Lily. He forgot you had moved in with her during the lockdown so you weren’t apart. Dieter wished you had moved here instead, he’d offered too but you had refused, said you “didn’t want to encroach on his space” but he knew the real reason. Lily didn’t want you to.

You whispered something off camera, before giving Dieter a regretful smile.

“You have to go.” he said, nodding slightly.

“I’m sorry Diets, but you’re amazing and I’m so proud of you”

“It’s okay, thanks for being here” he said, you could feel his sincerity behind it. You pressed a kiss to the camera before saying goodbye. When the call disconnected, he sat back on the couch, turning off the TV. He didn’t need to watch anymore, he won his category and that’s all he cared about.

He searched through the mess on his coffee table, looking for a little box that had an assortment of pills in it. When he found it, he popped open the lid, picking up one of the pills, he went to place it on his tongue but something stopped him. Seeing you so happy for him, stopped him, he was sober at this moment (minus the glass or two of whiskey) not that it usually factors into it, but he dropped the pill back in the box and put it away.

There was something just telling him not to take the pill, so he took to having a few more glasses of whiskey, instead putting on the project you had both first worked on together. He paid no attention to himself on the screen, only to you. He would do this when he missed you, and right now, he wanted nothing more than for you to be here.

APRIL 2020

Dieters phone was ringing loudly next to him, his splitting headache ripping through his skull as the sunlight beamed in from the large windows, his month long quarantine hangover really coming in today. His phone stopped for a second, before starting again.

Cursing he grabbed it, squinting at the name, it’s you. He instantly answered, hearing you sobbing on the other end. He sat up straight away, fully alert, ignoring the sharp stab in his temples.

“Hey, hey, what's happened?” he asked quickly, trying to keep his most calming tone on.

“She… she broke up with me” you sobbed. Ah. Lily. “She said that, that, she couldn’t do it. She-she asked me to move in with her permanently. I said n-no” you kept crying. Dieter sat back in his bed, running his hand through his messy bed hair.

“Hey…” he soothed “It’s okay. You don’t want to live with her and that’s okay” he assured, you were still sniffling into the phone.

“Wish you could come here to give me a hug” you muttered down the phone. He sighed.

“Me too” he admitted, he would be a liar if he didn’t say he was slightly happy hearing Lily broke up with you. He shouldn’t, you were his friend who had just had their heart broken, but another part of him that had loved you since the day he met you, couldn’t help but feel a little bit of joy.

“I’m sorry. About - about that night in Greece, I.. you were right. I didn’t love her… that’s why I couldn’t live with her” you admitted. He felt his heart drop, you didn’t love her. You didn’t want to be with her.

“Listen to me, it’s okay. It doesn’t matter now. You’re safe, if you didn’t love her then it's for the best” he said calmly, shocking himself at the advice. Dieter wasn’t an advice given, but for you he would be. “Look, how about we face time soon? We don’t have to talk”

“Thank you, Dieter… you always know what to say” you mumbled.

“Anytime, babe” he had that smile on his face that showed off his dimple, the one that made your stomach flutter when you saw it.

DECEMBER 2020

You were on facetime, Dieter’s face lighting up as he opened the present you bought him on camera. You two had sent each other gifts to your addresses, Dieter was leaving the states for the UK in January to film his new project. He pulled up the large green robe, an exact replacement for the one that was currently hanging off his shoulders.

He instantly got off his couch, shrugging it off and wrapping the new one around his frame, the stupidest grin of his face, it was like you’d given him a new puppy. You felt a small blush creep onto your cheeks as he thanked you over and over again, he urged you to open the presents in front of you. There were three small gifts, clearly Dieter hadn’t wrapped them because you knew there was no way they would be so cleanly done, with bows and all.

You opened the larger of the three first, inside were some of your favourite snacks, a candle that had your favourite scent and a new cosy blanket to get you through the winter chill. The medium one had a new pair of shoes that you had been eyeing up for months, you had said to Dieter you didn’t buy them because you didn’t want to ruin them - Dieter had said “Buy two” and you laughed at the idea. But as you looked into the box, there were in fact two pairs. One to ruin and wear, one to keep, to go in your walk in closet.

And in the final box, you saw Dieter shifting on his couch, pouring something off screen before he sat back with a mug, coffee, probably irish, you thought. You popped the lid off the small box, gasping at what you saw, it was a silver chain with your initial hanging off the bottom in your favourite jewels. You instantly scrambled to put it on, showing Dieter, he hummed happily at the sight.

“Thank you Dieter, I love it” you told him, playing with the new pendant. “Where are you going today?” you asked, you were going to spend the day with your family, they had offered for you to stay over the night before Christmas Day, but you had refused, just because you had this planned with Dieter and in a way, you wanted this moment all to yourself, you didn’t want to share him with anyone else.

“Oh my friends are having dinner. Just gonna go there” he told you, sipping his hot mug of coffee he held. “Tell your siblings I said hi '' he grinned wickedly at you, you rolled your eyes. Your siblings had fawned over Dieter one afternoon when he came to a family cookout, you didn’t blame them, Dieter was fucking delicious looking that day. Shirt unbuttoned loosely, sunglasses coming on and off all day, laughing with your family, genuinely enjoying himself. He had beamed the whole day, you smiled a little at the memory. No drugs either, he hadn’t brought any with him, because you asked, anyone else, he probably would have ignored them, but he couldn’t when it was you.

You both stayed on the phone for another hour before you had to go, you said your goodbyes, telling Dieter to text you later. The rest of the day, around your family, whilst you were eating, playing games, whatever, you always found yourself coming up to gently play with the new initial pendant, you couldn’t help it, there was just something about it that made you feel safe.

JANUARY 2021

You sat out on your back porch, book in hand, when your phone started ringing, you looked over, ah, the doorbell. It was a parcel, you were used to random parcels turning up, brands sent you stuff all the time that your agent approved, you walked through your modest home, opened the door, signed your signature and took the parcel in.

It was soft and squishy, so couldn’t be something from a brand as they normally come in the stupidest amount of plastic, cardboard and other packaging, plus this one looked a little roughly wrapped. You tore it open, instantly recognising the fabric that was rolled up inside, you pulled it out, you could feel the look of confusion on your face. It was Dieter’s old green robe, the one you had given him a replacement for not even two weeks ago, you were confused for a second before you saw a note sticking out of the pocket.

“To keep you warm on the chilly nights.. And if you miss me. - Diets” you felt your heart jump, fuck that was actually… really sweet of him to do. You tugged the jumper you were wearing over your head, wrapping the robe around you, it was much too big, you had to tie it tightly around your waist to even keep it closed. You were surprised to smell fresh linen coming from it, obviously he had had it washed before he sent it, but there was still a small scent of his cologne lingering.

You went to your large full length mirror, snapping a picture in the robe before sending it off to your friend.

“Thanks for the old smelly robe. Miss you too”

Dieter grinned upon receiving the text, instantly sending a photo of him laid in bed back. “You’re welcome, I knew you would miss me ;)”

A FEW MONTHS LATER

The next few months, you went about your life, doing interviews, healing from your ex, you were in constant contact with Dieter the whole time. Hearing about filming, the way the actors were being treated, about the KitKats in the mini bars, laughing at the tiktok he had made, which you shared everywhere you could to tease him, he told you about everything. Everything except one thing.

Anika.

He didn’t tell you about Anika. He wasn’t sure why he didn’t but something just told him not to. It wasn’t until you got a call, really late into the night from Dieter, ringing your phone, over and over again.

“Dieter? What’s up” you had groggily, rubbing your eyes.

“Hi.. I just needed to hear your voice” he said, you could hear the tinge of pain in his tone.

“What’s wrong? What’s happened? Have they hurt you?” you asked quickly, sitting up, waking yourself up more so you could hear him better.

“No..no, I just nearly died” he told you, you gasped, instantly feeling pain shoot through your chest.

“What do you mean you nearly died Dieter?”

“I have OD’d. and…” you felt tears start to fall down your cheeks, you could hear him sniffling, he was crying too. “Anika saved me.”

“Anika? Is that a nurse, did they take you to the hospital?” You asked, wiping away your tears. This was something you always feared with the drugs, one day he would take it too far and you wouldn’t see him again.

“No, I’m still here. But she’s.. Amazing and she saved my life and I love her” he admitted. Your heart twanged, he.. Loves this woman? He was babbling away on the phone, and that’s when it hit you. Hearing him say he loves someone else, you realised, you loved him. All those months ago when he asked if you loved Lily in Greece, you hesitated because you didn’t, you loved him. All the late night phone calls, all the running to Dieter when you had your heart broken, whenever you needed comfort, it was because he was your safe space. The place you felt most comfortable, at home. Your eyes looked over to the green robe on the floor, you fucking loved him.

“Dieter” you stopped his babbling. It didn’t matter if you just had a realisation, your friend needed you and he had just called you after nearly losing his life. “Dieter listen to me. You need to promise me you’re going to get out of there, okay? You can’t stay there” you told him, he then told you about the plan to leave with the rest of the crew. You had assured him you would be there when he got home.

—

You were snoozing in his living room of the mini mansion, you had gone to his home as soon as he told you he was on his way back. You had come round, threw away all the drugs like he had asked you too. You had paid someone to come clean it as well, since it hadn’t been lived in for months. It was only meant to be three months, but now he’d been there inhumanely long and he had nearly died. You didn’t know what you would have done if he had really gone. It pained you that you weren’t there to help him when needed you most but, he had Anika.

And he loved her, whoever she is. You had barely spoken to him in the last week of him being on set, so you didn’t know exactly what time he would be home. You were up and down, taking naps, making sure to clean up any mess you made, back and forth to the intercom to see if anyone was at the gate, you were getting impatient. You needed to see him in front of you, it was almost as if you didn’t believe that he was still living, so you needed physical evidence to know that he definitely was.

It was a few hours before the intercom buzzed and you heard the gates open, you clumsily ran to the large front doors, swinging them open as you saw a black SUV pulling up his driveway. You stood there panting hard, you had wrapped yourself in his old green robe and as soon as you saw one croc hit the floor, you ran, jumping up and throwing your arms around his neck. You let a sob break free as you felt his strong arms instantly coming to hold you tightly.

You pulled back, putting your hands on his cheeks. “I’m so glad you’re okay” you said, letting the tears fall down your cheeks. He was smiling at you even though he’d been through hell the past few months, you found yourself staring at him, at his lips, you got the overwhelming urge to crash your lips to his, to just really feel him, feel that he was home, safe and alive.

He wiped your tears away “I’m okay. I’m okay, I promise” he assured you.

It wasn’t until someone cleared their throat next to you that you were brought back to reality, Dieter dropped his arms from you, you slowly moved your hands to your side as you turned to see a girl standing there, sweetly smiling. Oh, Anika. Right. You hadn’t expected her to be here.

He introduced you both, his arm wrapping around her waist and pulling her close, he turned to look at her, his eyes full of adoration, they shared a quick kiss, which made you wince. You said your hellos, before picking up one of the bags and walking into the house. Anika was talking to you as you walked but you weren’t listening, you were focused on the man between you both, his messy hair, his tired eyes and the way you swore his beard had more greys than before.

Anika looked around the house in amazement as you walked in, she was cute, she was young, that was obvious. Wait, if she was young, did that mean that Dieter didn’t mind? Would he date you despite your age? You were nearly 26, in fact it would be your birthday soon. You shouldn’t be thinking about that right now, he’s home and you needed to make sure he was okay.

“Did you sort the stuff I asked?” Dieter asked you as you walked into the kitchen behind Anika, who was still looking around in awe.

“Yeah, I got rid of all your drugs. Don’t worry, there are none in the house and everyone is under strict instructions to not let any in here” you assured him, squeezing his arm. He gave you a small thank you. You stood there, watching Dieter show Anika where things were located, taking her out to show her the pool. It was late into the evening already, you knew they were on a different body clock to you. So after a little while of helping them settle back in, you said to Dieter you’d be back tomorrow morning to check in on them.

“Wait- stay here. Please. Use the spare room you like” he pleaded, looking at you in a way you couldn’t refuse and to be honest you didn’t want to leave, you wanted to stay here with him, make sure he was okay, you wanted to take care of his every need. So you nodded, leaning up to give him a lingering kiss on the cheek before you made your way to the spare bedroom, nothing thinking about the fact that it was directly next to the master bedroom.

You settled in the bed, your heart feeling more at ease now that your best friend was finally home, he was safe, happy and that’s all that mattered to you right now.

You managed to sleep for a short while before you were woken up by a dull thud over and over again, you listened to the sound for a second before hearing a low groan. Fuck. Dieter and Anika. You grabbed your earbuds quickly, putting them in, not wanting to listen to that. You had heard Dieter have sex before, you even walked in on him once but this time was different. This time you loved him, this time you wished it was you in the other room.

—

You ended up staying at Dieter’s a lot longer than planned, you were here for over a month when things started to go south. You had gotten to know Anika, she was truly very lovely and you liked her a lot, despite being in love with her boyfriend and your best friend. The issue wasn’t her, the issue with the drugs, Dieter couldn’t remember the last time he went so long without drugs.

He had been attending a therapist twice a week since he got home, he even took you along once, he was finding it hard to not just turn to a bump of coke when things got hard, but Anika didn’t know how to handle him when he was having his moment of weakness. You had come into the room multiple times after hearing a slam, Anika storming out, Dieter on the floor with his head in his hands.

You’d sit with him, as he cried, as he downed whiskey just to feel something. You would sit and rub his back, giving him words of affirmation, telling him just how well he was doing, how it will be worth it in the end and everything will work out.

It was one of those nights right now, Anika had just left for the bedroom, stressed that Dieter wasn’t the person she thought he was. Could you blame her? Not really, they were in a pressure cooker back in the hotel, it was inevitable a situation like this could arise where two people thought they fell in love, only to realise that once they got to the real world, it wasn’t the case.

You were sitting outside with Dieter, both of you were impossibly close, your feet in the pool below you. Dieter had a glass of whiskey next to him that was untouched, he had been crying again, you were sure he had been crying because he and Anika had argued but you didn’t press him. You were both just sat, shoulders against each other, as you swung your feet in the pool, the silence was comfortable, it was exactly what Dieter needed right now. Silence. With you.

He leaned his head on your shoulder, causing you to turn your head slightly to look down at him, you slowly rested your head on his as well, feeling him let out a sigh of relief.

You wouldn’t admit that this small action filled you with butterflies, this was exactly where you wanted to be, maybe not with the other person in the house but this right in this moment was what you needed. Seeing Dieter with Anika this past month has been hard to say the least, seeing them kiss, cuddle, hearing them have sex, it broke your heart each time but you stayed, but you did stay and you would continue to stay as long as Dieter needed.

He didn’t know how you felt when you saw them together, how could he? You hadn’t ever shown anything other than love and support for them both. That’s why when he laced his fingers with yours on the edge of the pool he didn’t think anything of it, it made your breath hitch though, you couldn’t help but squeeze his hand.

He squeezed back making you blush and smile more than it should have. That’s when you noticed he was looking at you, grinning that fucking famous smile of his. “You’re blushing” he pointed out.

“What?” you said, stammering slightly. “It’s, it’s just hot out”

“You have your feet in an ice cold pool” Fuck he was right. You just shook your head, sitting up so you weren’t practically cuddling into him. You saw the small jut of his lip, you tried to look away from his goddamn beautiful face, his disheveled hair and those eyes. One’s that looked at Anika like the most precious thing in the world, you wondered if he ever looked at you like that?

Dieter’s free hand reached over for the glass of whiskey next to him, taking a drink before offering it to you. You took it, hissing at the burn of the alcohol in your throat before passing it back.

“I’m going to have to go home tomorrow Diets” you told him, looking down at the water as it rippled against your legs. He shot up almost instantly, holding onto your hand tighter as if you were going to leave right then.

“No, please stay” he begged, looking at you like a lost puppy “Please. You’re the only thing getting me through this” he told you, not even thinking about dropping his voice so Anika didn’t hear.

“Dieter... you have Anika. She will take care of you. I can’t stay here, it’s... awkward, like I’m in your marital home or something” you muttered. He furrowed his brow.

“We’re not married. I.. we won’t be” he said, you rolled your eyes.

“It didn’t mean literally, Diets look. I can’t be your weird third wheel. I love you, more than you know” you paused for a second, before continuing “and she is good for you. She is… nice and kind and she cares about you-”

“But she’s not you” he said quickly. Your heart fucking jerked out of your chest, what is that supposed to mean? You closed your eyes taking a deep breath, when you opened them again, he was so close to you, his free hand was coming to push a strand of hair behind your ear slowly. “No one ever looks after me the way you do” he whispered.

Your heart was thudding against your ribcage, you thought it could have broken through your bones with the strength of it. His soft eyes were flickering over your face so quickly that you recognised that he was nervous, he only ever attempted to make eye-contact when it was important and then looked away when he got nervous. You caught his eye, causing his mouth to fall open slightly. You wondered why he would be nervous, maybe it was just the weight of everything that happened the past few months.

What you didn’t know was that Dieter was nervous because of the way you were looking at him, with so much care behind your eyes, your hand wrapped up in his, your thumb was idly running across his knuckles, which you hadn’t even noticed you were doing. He was nervous because of your soft lips, the fact you were still wearing his old robe, the way you were so close he could smell that soft perfume and because you were illuminated by the pool light. He was nervous because of the way you made him feel, the way he wanted to kiss you more than ever, to tell you exactly what he felt.

He was nervous because he realised that he did not love Anika. He loved you, he’d loved you since he met you and he tried to pretend he didn't, but he couldn’t. He thought Anika would help him forget about his feelings for you, but when you were waiting for him to come home, the way you stayed even though you needed to leave. You had stuck by him since day one, even when no one else wanted. He’d stopped himself each time, his near death expereince was still fresh and he decided, fuck it.

Before you could register what was happening, his lips were crashing against yours, you squeaked, your hand squeezing his in surprise, your other coming to grab his shoulder. He thought you were going to push him away but to his shock, you pulled him closer, as your eyes fluttered closed and you leaned into the kiss. You were so caught up in the moment that you didn’t realise Anika had been standing there, listening to the whole conversation and witnessing the kiss.

Your arm was about to wrap round his shoulder when you heard the patio door slide shut with force, bouncing as it hit the other side, you both quickly pulled apart. Fuck what had you done, you saw Anika storming back through the house.

“Fuck!” Dieter cursed, scrambling out of the pool, letting go of you and your hand, knocking over his whiskey glass as he quickly followed after her, you heard shouting almost instantly. You saw something fly across the room, like a tshirt or something being thrown at him.

You quickly got up from your seated position, walking inside slowly, trying to be as quiet as a mouse as they argued in the large kitchen across from the living room. Anika shouted your name, causing you to turn slowly.

“Look I’m going to get my stuff and go” you said quickly, Dieter went to ask you not to before you stopped him, knowing if he said anything it would make this whole situation worse. “I’m going. I will call to check on him, okay? But you won’t see me again, Anika. I’m sorry” you said, keeping a stern look to stop the tears falling down your cheeks.

Dieter’s face had fallen, he looked broken. You couldn’t look at him, it was too hard to see him look so pained, you quickly shoved your essentials in a bag, making your way from the house, to your car that has been parked there for over a month. You got in, turning it on and sped away, back to your own home, the one that didn’t really feel like home but was called it. You were sobbing the whole time, why did that just happen then? Why did he have to kiss you right then? Fuck. You fucked it. Your friendship was over, he’d never want to see you again. You let the tears fall freely now.

You spent that night sobbing in your empty house, it didn’t feel the same, not like at Dieters where it felt warm, it was cold here. You slept in his robe that night, normally you wouldn’t, but it smelt vaguely of him, so you kept it wrapped around you.

The next morning, you had a text from Dieter, asking you to call him when you woke up. You didn’t. You couldn’t, you didn’t know that he loved you back, you convinced yourself he kissed you because of the moment. He was probably drunk, or high, even though he hadn’t had drugs in over a month, that’s what he told you anyway, he would have probably snuck something in.

Your phone rang multiple times through the day, Dieter’s name flashing on the screen, you ignored it. Crying each time. He left you multiple messages, begging you to answer, saying he needed to speak to you, but you couldn’t face it. You couldn’t face the rejection, the apology for kissing you when he shouldn't have, the apology for telling you that it was spur of the moment.

When your phone rang that evening, you only glanced at it knowing it was Dieter, you were shocked to see a different name. Your friend. You picked it up quickly.

“Hello?” you said, and she happily said hello back.

“Are you excited?” she asked. You were dumbfounded, what was there to be excited about right now?

“Sorry, about what?”

“Your birthday party? It’s tomorrow.” oh fuck! You’d forgotten, with the whole Dieter situation you had completely forgotten.

“Oh! OH! Of course I am! Can’t wait” you said, mustering your fakest happy voice.

“Good cause your outfit is being dropped off early in the morning, and then I’ll come round and we can get ready together. Okay?” You sighed. Telling her okay and that you’d see her tomorrow.

Maybe this is just what you needed, to blow off some steam. It was your birthday party, even though your birthday was a week later, you were going to take this opportunity to drown your sorrows.

Dieter however, didn’t forget. He knew it was tomorrow, and he fully intended on going. He didn’t want to let you down and if you weren’t going to answer his calls, he was going to speak to you in person.

—

You woke bright and early that morning, expecting a parcel with your birthday outfit. You had been told to give measurements to your friend as she was going to sort an outfit for you, at the time it seemed like a great idea, but right now you were shitting yourself at what could have been in store.

You tugged Dieter’s old robe around yourself as you padded to your kitchen, putting on a coffee pot, you checked your phone, no new messages or calls. You felt your heart sink a little, part of you was sad that Dieter hadn’t tried to call again. You hoped he was okay. You hoped he hadn’t managed to find drugs again.

Your outfit arrived just as you were sitting down with your coffee, you took the large box into the house, dumped it in the living room and opened it up. You tug out of the box, the most beautiful dress you had ever seen came out of the box, at the bottom a sparkly crown that matched and shoes as well. You laughed, shaking your head, you expected some sort of costume but this was beautiful. You felt a small tinge of excitement about the evening now, you were going to get absolutely shift faced and forget about how fucked you were. And all about Dieter Bravo and his handsome fucking face.

The evening rolled around quickly, you were getting out of the car in your stunning dress, your hair and make-up perfectly styled. You made your way inside the event, your friends had gone out of their way to plan a beautiful party, it was outdoor, the place was decorated with flowers, ivy and the most gorgeous soft lighting. There were balloons, music playing in the background, there was a table of different desserts already available. That’s when it hit you, the theme - prom. Fucking prom. You’d never got to attend one when you were younger and you joked with your friends that it would be fun to have one.

Now the tiara made sense, you were the bloody prom queen. You put your hand up to the initial pendant you had chosen to wear this evening, even though everything with Dieter was fucked, you still wanted him here. You knew he wouldn’t show, the pressure would be too much for him right now, but part of you was hoping that he would, even if you were scared shitless, and you had ghosted him the past two days.

You hugged different people, saying hello, thanking them for coming, you had many drinks when getting ready and had downed a few stronger ones already. The party was picking up, there were people here who you had only met a couple of times, but you didn’t care. You were on the dance floor, with your friends, dancing away with a drink in your hand.

You’d overheard a few people where Dieter was, muttering about how they were shocked he wasn’t the first one here. You ignored it, if he came, he came, if he didn’t, he didn’t. Although, you’d thought if he didn’t turn up, it did really in fact mean he just kissed you because he got caught up in the moment.

You hadn’t told anyone about what happened, about how he kissed you in front of the woman he was meant to love, the fact you had ran away, the fact you had spent the last month caring for him, the fact you had spent the last month keeping him away from drugs and the fact he had nearly died. You were too busy dancing to your favourite songs, with some of your favourite people to even think about it right now, but it wasn’t long before you would have to.

As you were throwing back some small colorful liquids that were very alcoholic, you heard a commotion coming from the entrance of the party. A bunch of people clapping, a couple of whistles, you turned to see what was happening, probably someone doing some sort of trick you thought.

But you froze when you saw it.

Dieter. Stood, staring at you too, his hair was groomed, his beard had been trimmed and put in order, his suit… his fucking suit, matching the exact colourful of your own dress. And on top of that perfectly fucking groomed head, a matching crown. He looked so bloody adorable but also, you couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to rip that fucking suit off him and ride him whilst he wore nothing but that damned crown.

“There’s your prom king” one of your friends teased, shoving you towards him. Fuck, this can’t be happening. Your body exploded, watching him walk towards you, ignoring everyone else around him, a couple of them trying to grab his attention, but he had one thing in sight, you.

You couldn’t calm your beating heart as he got closer, coming to a stop in front of you, you could feel everyone staring at you, as if they knew what happened a couple of nights ago.

“Hey” Dieter said, looking at you softly, his voice was thick, he was clearly nervous. “You.. look, amazing. So beautiful”

“That’s all you have to say?” you said, the drink in your veins making you more confident. Dieter looked down, as if he was embarrassed, that’s when he caught sight of the glittering initial round your neck. He knew at that moment that you still cared.

“No, fuck no there’s so much I want to say. So much I need to tell you, so much you don’t know and I, I need you to know what you mean to me and I-

You stopped him, by grabbing his hand and dragging him off to a secluded area far away from everyone else. The view from here was beautiful, your friend has booked this outdoor space definitely with that in mind, you walked down a few steps that lead to a private beach area. You took off your shoes, discarding them so you could walk on the sand. Dieter followed you quickly, not caring about where you were going, he just wanted to be with you.

You found a rock laid on its side, big enough for you to both take a seat on it. You sat down first, waiting for your friend to join you. You were looking out to the sea, you could feel him looking directly towards you instead.

“Why did you kiss me?” you asked, still staring out at the ocean. There was a moment of silence before you heard Dieter speak.

“You kissed me a few years ago, completely out of blue whilst you were drunk and you probably don’t remember-

“I remember.” you said, turning to look at him. “Of course I remember, but that doesn’t explain why you kissed me two days ago” you said, sighing as you turned back to the sea, tucking your feet onto the rock and putting your chin on your knees.

“Because, I kissed you because.. Fuck, because… I’ve been in love with you since the day we met” he confessed, you felt yourself freeze. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Dieter on the other hand, his palms were sweating, he was staring right through you, he couldn’t tear himself away, he needed you to know and now was a better time than ever. If he were to lose you completely, at least this would be the reason.

You were still cautious, still scared, even though hearing him say what you had dreamed of, you knew there was something in the way.

“And what about Anika?” you asked, still staring at the sea.

“She’s gone, we’re over, I couldn’t be with her knowing that she wasn’t the one I really wanted” he admitted, relief washed over you hearing that, you turned to look at him. This time, you had no intention of turning away, you reached forward lacing your fingers with his, dropping your feet back to the sand, opening your body language back up to him. He just watched you, as you slowly, cautiously reached a hand up to run over the scruff of his jaw.

His eyes were watching your hands, not daring to make eye contact. You called his name softly, his attention finally snapping to your face.

“I’m in love with you too” you said quietly, only wanting him to be the only person in the world to hear you right now. Your heart was alight, it felt so good to get it off your chest, for you to finally have said those words to the man you loved.

Then, without hesitation, you were both leaning forward, lips slotting together so perfectly. This was different from the other kiss, this one was so full, so much care and compassion in it. It was heavy, and needy and god it was fucking perfect. You’d never felt anything like this, kissing Lily never felt this good, your arm came around to wrap around his neck, to pull him impossibly closer to you as you pulled back for a short gasp of air before diving straight back into his sweet taste.

Dieter had never experienced a kiss like this before, he’d never known what it felt like to kiss someone you truly loved, his free hand made its way to the small off your back, gripping onto you so you couldn’t move too far away from him. He never wanted this to end, he could stay here, kissing you, for the rest of his life. Years and years of feelings, building right up to this moment right here and it was so worth it.

He followed your lips as you reluctantly pulled back, you laughed, shoving his chest and resting your forehead against his.

“Diets…” you said, a whole new meaning behind that nickname now.

“Yes, baby?” he asked sweetly.

“I love you” you repeated. He chuckled, pressing his lips to yours for a chaste kiss.

“I love you too” he hummed, nuzzling into your neck. “Now, what do we do?” he asked. You shook your head, wrapping both your arms around him to hug him tightly.

“Dunno, I guess we will go back up there and well. Get drunk and have fun, how does that sound?” you asked, as he leaned back to look at you.

“Fuck that sounds great. But how about we smoke this before we go?” he asked, his eyes flashing with mischief as he reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out a blunt. You’d talked about this previously, the only drugs he was going to take again was weed, none of the hard shit anymore.

“Ohh, that sounds like a great plan. But you know what I get like when I smoke that” you hummed, leaning forward, kissing his jaw as he lit it up.

“Why do you think I brought it? The three H’s, high, hungry and horny” he said, smirking right at you. “And I’d definitely be more than willing to help you with all three” He said, lowering his tone as he passed the blunt over to you.

You felt your whole body heat up, muttering a curse. You were fucked, in the absoloute best way. Your life was about to become a whole lot more interesting but it would be so worth it. You and Dieter were always meant to be, you had always been drawn to each other, you knew now, this is exactly where you were meant to be.

Here on this rock, getting high with the man you had accidentally fallen madly in love with, kissing each other every now and again, his hands starting to explore the parts of you he’d never been able to before. Kissing parts of your skin he’d always dreamed of, telling you things he’d wanted to say for years and you reciprocating right back.

There was nothing you could have asked for to make this moment any better than it already was.

You spent the night together hand in hand, unapologetically kissing each other whenever you got the chance, he didn’t let go of you once, even holding your hand whilst you used the restroom, you insisted you needed both hands, he insisted you definitely did not and he had heard you pee multiple times before. You’d argued it was different now, he’d argued it was not and just to shut up and pee.

You’d spent the night dancing with him, your friends telling you how long they had waited for this to happen and they were fucking exhausted watching you two not admit the way you felt. You had laughed it off, but really, you were both just as elated as they were, grinning at each other like love sick idiots anytime someone said something.

It wasn’t until the night started winding down that you really got any time to yourself again, you were exhausted, sitting on the edge of one of the tables together. People had started to dissipate as the party continued into the early hours of the morning.

“Do you want to stay and watch the sunrise?” Dieter asked, nodding over to the sea. You nodded, smiling as he took off his jacket, putting it over your shoulders.

“Dieter?” you said, resting your head on his shoulder.

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad I met you. And I’m so excited to see what the happens from here”

“Me too sweet girl, me too.”

And that’s how it started, your last relationship. You had no idea that the day you met Dieter, it would lead to you finding your person, the one you would spend the rest of your life with and oh boy was it interesting indeed.

#dieter bravo #dieter bravo x reader #dieter bravo xf!reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fics #pedro pascal character #pedro pascal x reader #we love anika too btw ok

129 notes · View notes