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#i think i cant do smth i really wanna do and its hard
spearxwind · 4 months
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blueprint-han · 1 year
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did i make a mistake?
#sigh dawnie crush issues in the tags#so yeah fair warning#...........................................................................................................................................#idk man I just. i feel like instead of getting closer weve grown more distant ever since he asked me out and its killing me man#i dont wanna be hurt. im so fragile rn and just starting to heal from the years of trauma i faced in my family. when i try to talk#about any issue i have to him he just. ignores the text#or gives me a very dry response which hey. im not trying to say u should listen to my issues all the time. i get that some people dont want#to. but i would just much rather have someone tell me that directly yk? just a hey i dont do well with rants. but the thing is he said hes#fine with them. but then when i get nothing to address it i just. i feel hurt. like... ive started to wonder if hes just keeping the#relation for namesake at this point but ik that isnt true. weve only been dating 2 weeks or so i shouldnt judge so soon. but man its hard#to not overthink ive always been conditioned to do that. ive always been super excited when he plans a date (which he doesnt even call#a date) but when i try to plan smth its always that he has some other plan to attend to which again i get it im not the jealous date who#asks her s/o to be for her every waking moment but yk it does hurt and i feel instead of just letting it bottle up its better to admit it.#i tried to ask him to get cotton candy once and he said wed go the next day and then he forgot. never asked me a time or anything. i didnt#think of it much cuz hed gone to meet a friend outside the city and he mustve been tired. yesterday i asked him again and he said he was#again going outside the city to meet his 12th grader friend. man am i jealous of that girl who gets to spend more time with the guy#who asked me out than ive collectively spent with him#and no i dont mean this in a toxic way like “oh hes meeting other girls he shouldnt do that” i just. man i pictured so much out of my first#relationship. and i got nothing. not one thing out of it. i guess it makes sense cuz my love language is mostly physical touch and u cant#really do that in a campus in India. and its also wrong of me to hold him to such high standards of a perfect relationship when the guy#himself has been in one for the first time (i assume?) but like i said id rather not try to hide my emotions and express them out openly.#theres still so much more about this that i feel wrong but the thing is its confusing cuz i feel like the two years of torture in my house#has made it so that the trauma from never hearing i love you wnd words of affirmation from my parents has been reflecting off this place.#its wrong of me to do this but i expected everything that i couldnt recieve to be fulfilled in a relationship and i now realise how stupid#i was yk? cuz its wrong of me to put such harsh expectations on him like that. i feel like such a shallow person for getting depressed over#a relationship that has just been going for 1 week#theres also the thing where he generally seemed more excited to talk to me before? and now i just get the dryest responses ever out of#which no conversation can be built. and again im not expecting him to be online and respond immediately but a thoughtful response goes a#long way. again ik im being so harsh on him cuz its his first time too and he must be facing the same awkwardness im facing but jesus. i#ok my tags are over im continuing in a reblog
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chaudharis · 2 years
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holding up a mic to her hey so how do you feel about essentially putting someone else through essentially the same thing you went through (dragged onto an entire alien planet guided by manipulative lying strangers the entire time with alterior motives you dont understand and eventually being left with a completely broken sense of self) but for ur own personal gain hey how does it feel hey hey hey hi? hello? can you answer my question
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horce-divorce · 2 years
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I'm so tired of being tired yall. I'm tired of being sick. but I get to be sick forever, hastag confirmed, I have a ~rare disorder~ with a poor prognosis. it basically is only get worse from here and I just. I'm so tired already, though. how does it still get worse? how do I do this for life?
sorry for posting this shit on main but I can't see my new therapist til July, a lot of my friends don't get this or expressly don't want to hear about it, and I just feel so alone under the weight of the indifference of the universe ykw I mean. and I'm so tired of not having energy to do anything ever all day. I can't even play my games cus i can't stay awake like fuck this
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be-good-to-bugs · 6 days
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AAAAH forever stress is going to kill me one day
#the bin#i hate knowing why i feel so bad and not being able to do anything about it#im scared that ill never ever feel better. its been so long since i felt ok. im worried that ill make friends and still feel horrible all#the time and it wont matter. i cant keep doing this. im so tired of being all alone. im so tired of the constant inescapable dread#im going to figure something out. in a month ill be moved and i can start figuring everything out then#i hate not being able to focus on anything besides how bad i feel. i cant enjoy anything. theres so many shows i wanna watch but i cant#because im so distracted by this. theres so much manga i wanna read and i cant.#literally the ONLY thing that has been able to make me temporarily forget this for any amount of time is dungeon meshi#its so fucking good and it sparks so much joy that it does help but not enough. i get sad again really fast.#well. im trying really hard to manage my stress. i did the math on how much i should be getting. i know that i will have rent at least.#there are 2 weeks that i dont know what my hours will be but assuming i get 13 hours at least then i should have an ok amount for#moving. its possible theyll be worse and its possible theyll be better. im really hoping theyre better. my hours have been SO BAD recently#i dont know why. i know im not bad at my job or anything. i sont think my manager dislikes me either. he does this whenever someone#hasnt been feeling well and hell do it for a couple weeks and i think its him trying to be considerate but i have bills to pay man#technically there is a shift i could pickup but the store has a drive thru so im nervous to bc idk how that works and if im asked to do that#then ill have no idea so ive been avoiding taking any shifts like that#hopefully enough will pop up in the coming weeks and i can get some more hours. i know i can cover moving vehicle cost but idk how much#gas is gonna be so im suuuuper worried abt that. hhhh. hopefully my sister and her boyfriend can get me back the $300 they owe too#honestly idk how they werent able to afford rent but immediately after they were able to afford a 40 hour roadtrip and yimw off work#whatever. it doenst matter.#i wish i could deal with the other stuff messing me up rn but i cant fix the loneliness thing without not being alone and i cant fix that#it doesnt matter how much i tell myself ill make friends eventually or if i believe it or not. i feel bad because ive gone way too long#not hanging out with anyone and my brain cant handle it.#im gonna see if maybe i can play a game with my sister soon. or maybe i couod play smth with my younger sister even#i pkayed roblox with her for a little while. maybe she would want to again. i miss her :(
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lovecrazedpup · 3 months
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going to have an episode Maybe
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jfrancium · 2 years
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So does anyone else randomly get the intense urge to completely abandon all your accounts and reinvent your online persona entirely or is that just a me thing?
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ranposgirlboss · 1 year
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~types of hugs they would give~
was daydreaming about ranpo and then my brain jumped to them giving hugs??? idk how that works but HERE WE ARE!!!
charas: dazai, chuuya, sigma, ranpo, and poe
genre: FLUFF >:))); a bit of flirting in dazai's because, well, dazai; can be seen as romantic or platonic other than that!!!; extremely wholesome shit idk :O; some hurt-comfort, but very mild!!
LETS COMMENCE \(°o°)/
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DAZAI
-over dramatic mf FRRRR
-hugs with him arent really emotional or srs or anything like that, HE KINDA JUST CLINGS TO YOU OUTTA NOWHERE NGL-
-like he'll be running away from kunikida and cling to you from behind to use you as a sheild
-awoop, jumpscare!!
-would probably make a comment about ur body or something, and how your just, "so charming" and he "jUsT cAnt KeEp hIs hAnDs oFf yOu!1!" (you can admit youre scared of kunikida beating the shit out of you its ok)
-tbh if you were crying or something like that, i feel like you would have to ask him to hug you, rather then him automatically doing so. (as we can see with atsushi 🥶)
-i feel like his hugs would be good enough for the circumstance, but he's kinda cold ngl (unless you like that!!)
-pretty much just uses u as a sheild tho 😭
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CHUUYA
-i know that ive always gotta make him floating someone or something..... BUT HIS ABILITY IS SO COOL CMON
-if you asked him (and yall were close) he may float you
-WOULD BE HELLA EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT (DONT LET DAZAI SEE YALL, YOU'LL NEVER HEAR THE END OF IT)
-yall have really gotta have a really good amount of trust for him to hug you or just be physically affectionate in general!!!
-would grumble about it and pretend he totally didn't wanna hug you too
-would give pretty good hugs ngl
-IT WOULD BE SO FUNNY IF YOU WERE TALLER THEN HIM THO
-if yall are around the same height or ur shorter then him, they're pretty comforting
-BUT IF YOURE TALLER THEN HIM YOU HAVE MAKING FUN OF HIM RIGHTS, AND ITS KINDA HARD NOT TO MAKE FUN OF HIM WHEN HE CAN BARELY HUG YOU NORMALLY
-if you were crying or having a bad moment, he probably wouldn't hug you that fast though, but if you're ranting to him about how horrible it is, he might just hug you out of nowhere cuz he doesn't know what to say.
-if youre trustworthy to him, his hugs are very nice, he would prob be neutral temp or slightly warm ngl
-UGH CHUUYA HUG MEEEE TOOOOO ಥ‿ಥ
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RANPO
-THE ALMIGHTY INSPIRORER OF THIS (is that how you spell that ;-;??)
-WOULD GIVE SUCH GOOD HUGS OMG
-all you gotta do is ask
-unless hes busy being possessive of his snacks, he might think you're tryna sneak in and take a bite when he's distracted (눈‸눈)
-but when hes not eating (which is pretty rare), just ask him and he will
-might complain about being lazy a bit, but in the end, he will always hug you if you insist!! <33
-if you were crying or sad about smth, he would either literally fucking bearhug yo ass and comfort you or he would give you space to process your emotions, there is no in between.
-HES LIKE SO WARM BUT NOT THE CLAMY AND SWEATY WARM JUST LIKE THE REALLY NICE WARM.
-he also smells like sweets which is a more comforting and homey bonus!!!
-VERY AMAZING HUGS WOULD RECOMMEND 10/10!!!
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SIGMA
-THEY DID MY DUDE SO BAD IN THE ANIME IM SORRY SIGMA YOU DESERVED BETTER THAN THIS MANGA SIGMA SUPREMACY
-but anyways
-ngl he would be kind of awkward sometimes but YOU KNOW HE HAS THE BEST INTENTIONS!!!
-SIGMA IS A VERY GOOD COMFORTER TO HAVE!!
-yknow how he memorizes everyones problems at the casino??
-yeah he also memorized yours, so he knows RIGHT AWAY when something is off or you need a hug!!
-he is very quick to hug you, not only to comfort you, but he also finds it comforting ⊂((・▽・))⊃
-will also leap on you out of joy (is extremely embarrassed after)
-overall, very wholesome, has the best intentions (i swear i forget he's apart of a criminal organization sm)
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POE
-OH BOY
-would be so flustered if you asked him
-seems like he would WANT to ask you, but is too embarrassed and shy to ಥ‿ಥ
-PLEASE ASK HIM HE IS INTERNALLY BEGGING, AND HE NEEDS ONE (honestly everyone in bsd needs one)
-would so awkward at first because he doesn't wanna make uncomfortable in any way so he's like barely hugging you
-if he eases into it tho, he would actually be a pretty nice hugger
-just PLEASE ASK HIM FIRST, HE WILL ALWAYS ACCEPT
-if you were upset or sad about something, i honestly feel like he would just give you space to sort yourself, i feel like he would want the same space when he's upset.
-but if you ask him HE WILL VERY GLADLY HUG YOU SINCE HE HATES SEEING YOU SAD
-very nice hugs once you get past the awkward stage!!! just takes practice tho <33
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HOW DO I WRITE THE MOST WHOLESOME THINGS WHILE LISTENING TO THE MOST EDGY SONGS PLEASE HELp
i was also getting distracted by my music and this was supposed to be posted yesterday but whatever!! that's how it be
ANYWAYS, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED, PLEASE ONCE AGAIN SEND ME REQS!! THANKS FOR READING ( ◜‿◝ )♡
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a-soft-hornytiny · 1 year
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I just did my nails and since my brain is always in the gutter and thinking about ateez I thought- what would be ateez's reaction to their significant other getting their nails done for them and who's mlt ruin them 😏
- 🍓
Reaction: Getting your nails done for them.
Requested by 🍓 anon
Genre: Fluff, Suggestive
Pairing: Ateez x reader with pretty nails (neutral)
Warnings: none
Notes: Okay this format is a bit weird and new but it works I guess haha reaction and mtl in one
I added some details about what kinda designa you would get for them but im horrible with nail designs so it’s probably bs. Hope its what you wanted hehe
Taglist: under the cut (let me know if you wanna be added)
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Most
Wooyoung:
all day, all tease
“ohhhh you like me so much???” a lot of sighing
he is happy inside but he gotta do his job and annoy you
and he’s most likely to ruin them because he wants to. kinda wants to prove something. probably what an amazing lover he is xD
But he would pay for the replacement.
and because you knew that you had gotten a simple black design with his initials and some of his lines in their songs
Jongho:
he would notice immediately but wouldn’t say anything because.. idk why tbh
similar to Yeosang you would get frustrated abt it but he’d be like “yeah nah I noticed” .-.
but as he noticed it upsets you he’d be really sweet and shower you in compliments, he just has a hard time putting the gesture in context of importance
that is until he googles how much getting your nails done costs
even if its just a purple sky design like you did for him
when it comes to ruining them tho- that man is probably an absolutely beast in bed.. i assume. they wouldn’t survive for long.
Yunho:
puppy eyes, puppy design (or smth blue)
“for me?🥺 really?🥺” i CANT
takes your hands all the time to kiss your nails
cute as fuck but also kinda too much
which may ruin them
and listen: that man will be most likely be ruining them by making you grab the bedsheet to hard if you get what I mean
Mingi:
“are those for me?” you deny it at first to tease him
“oh come on they gotta beeee” whiny man
really full of himself as soon as you admit it, which is why you didn’t at first
maybe some kind of combination of a princess theme with his favourite colour… cement colour.. (i swear he is such a man)
wants to get matching nails 100%
if he ruins them, it was an accident. but since he is clumsy af it may happen xD
San:
happiest bean, so excited
why do I feel like one half of your nails would be like super serious, beautiful gold black designs and the other half is like.. san memes
like a literal mountain or the muscly cat yk
would be careful not to ruin them at first but as the time goes on he wouldn’t have the control to care haha
Yeosang:
wouldn’t notice at first and you’re kinda upset you had to say something
“Your beauty is so distracting y/n, im sorry I didnt see your nails” ironie and shade
but appreciates it, even tho he has a hard time saying it
he’d be proud that you chose a doberman design instead of a maltese one tho (yes i needa be cliche)
would he ruin them? maybe, maybe not. depends on the position👀
Seonghwa:
admires them when you don’t look
he‘s unsure if you really did it for him but as soon as he finds out he is all blushy and happy
definitely either a sakura, strawberry or star design
and he‘s to careful and tidy to ruin them
only if he’s normal hwa tho, horny hwa wouldn’t give a shit
Hongjoong:
he would adore it SO much
would go on and on about how your nails are perfect and that he feels honoured that he was the inspiration to get them done
i think for him you‘d get like a sunflower or music sheet design and he’d definitely want to get some inspired by you too
also least likely to ruin them because they are just too precious to him
Least
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Tags: @jonghoisbabie @multidreams-and-desires @little-precious-baby @yunhofingers-writes @serialee @crimsonbubble @cometoceantrenches @em--ilysm @deja-vux @kawaiiloli00 @ddeonghwva @aaaaajonghooooo @sansbun @cookies-n-joong @plonys @hijirikaww @nari-nim @yunkiwii @mingi-ivity @racheloveyunho @seongsangsgf @jhmylove @lizsvcks @yunhobabygurl @leoninadecorazones @kerra-that-one-random-fangirl @star1117-archives @cheollipop @yeosangsbiceps @euphoric-emily16 @anyamaris @shinestarhwaa @seomisaho @starillusion13 @taemdivez
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cumulo-stratus · 7 months
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hiii !! recently ran into your blog and i love ur posts sm. i have this silly little thing in my mind i was hoping you could maybe write it?
Spencer (thinking mostly season 2, mostly cuz i love his glasses look) and M!Reader have been dating for a while already, like a few months to a year, and Spencer still gets flustered by him. He still gets all nervous when reader is around him, and when he kisses him. Imagine reader giving Spencer a small kiss on the cheek or smth and he becomes a blushing mess, and reader teases him about it which just causes him to become more flustered over it.
you don't have to write that specifically, just anything with Spencer getting easily flustered by reader would be really cute ^^
Smart cookie
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(GIF NOT MINE)
request: yes/no
flustered!spencer reid x Tattooed!male!reader
Description: reader asks for readers help with a new tattoo he wants, and when reader calls Spencer a smart cookie Spencer gets flustered, and reader can't help himself
CW: possible swearing, needles (lemme know if theres anything else)
A/N: thanks for the support love <3 and ofc course ma biche! im actually in love with this idea of like cute little baby spencer being all flustered by reader. i think ill add some of my own stuff bc u did give artistic liberty but i hope you enjoy it!
!!!!SORRY ABT THE TERRIBLE FLIRTING!!!!
Y/N L/N and Spencer reid have been dating for 9 months, 2 days, and 3 hours (and counting according to spencer), but he still had a tendency to get adorably flustered when Y/N would flirt with him, and especially if he called him smart cookie. Which y/n didnt quiet understand since he’d been calling his boyfriend smart cookie since practically day one of their relationship. But y/n found it adorably hilarious so it was okay.
one instance of this adorable awkwardness, was the day y/n decided to ask spencer for help with a new tattoo he wanted, something special for the two of them. Spencer had highly advised against it stating
“31% of men and 24% of women regret getting tattoos of someones name. And if even I plan on being with you for long time that may not happen angel.”
“ugh, your too sweet for me darling. But the world doesn’t deserve a hottie like you anyways” y/n replied with a wink as spencer blushed profusely
“and by the way, you cant change my mind on this spencer, im getting that tattoo. And you’ve seen how stubborn i can be, remember The Book Incident? ya thats what i thought” y/n smirked as spencer grimaced remembering the fateful incident earlier that year.
“okay my love, i wont object to you getting the tattoo, but it has to be something good, and i wanna help with it.” spencer finally relented.
this caught y/n of guard, as he had just been planning a heart with with their initials in the center. nothing special, but when y/n told spencer of this plan, he was incredulous.
“do you not know me y/n/n, thats to simple, and not romantic enough! and its something morgan would get.”
after Y/n was done laughing at the morgan comment and had regained his composure they continued their arguing over what the tattoo should be.
“its gonna be on my body!”
“the tattoo is about you and me!”
but after much bickering they came to a consensus that a simple latin phrase would be nice. Simple, yet elegant and romantic. Some for y/n, some for Spencer. now the hard part was deciding which latin phrase from spencers extensive encyclopedia of knowledge in his head.
After much discussion they decided on the phrase “Amor animi arbitrio sumitur, non ponitur” spencer had translated for y/n when he asked what it meant but he already liked the sound of it without the meaning. But when spencer told him he liked it even more, he stated “we choose to love, we do not choose to cease loving.” And you were in love.
“thats it- thats the one!” y/n exclaimed with excitement. “thanks for the help smart cookie” you added with a smile and a wink. As always spencer flushed bright red when his boyfriend called him the pet name. As y/n studied his boyfriend in his flustered state, he couldnt help but notice how cute he was. His reddened cheeks and small smile as he looked away. Y/n couldnt help but get that enamored feeling of intense love and adoration that often came with staring candidly at his beautiful, beautiful boyfriend. In his thoughtful state he didnt even realize that spencer had noticed the intense gaze of his lover.
“why are you looking at me like that?” spencer questioned with a shy smile.
“cus your just too cute not too! and you deserve it” y/n responded with a sly smile. spencer once again flushed red at the flirtatious comments.
“what? Oh c'mere hot stuff I wanna give ya a kiss" y/n pulled his boyfriend into his lap and put his hands on either side of the man's face. "ugh! Your so cu-" The rest of the man's sentence was cut off by him kissing his boyfriend. Very aggressively Spencer would add, but he was to busy being kissed. Finally y/n let go of his lips and they both sucked in a large breath. But before Spencer could get word out y/n started peppering his face with kisses, using them to punctuate his words
"You. Are. A. Smart. Cookie."
If it was even possible Spencer's ears grew redder. "Thank you, y/n." Spencer responded with a small smile playing at his lips. "of course love" y/n said as he gave a bigger sweeter smile this time before leaning in for a more loving and passionate kiss. And as they kissed all that fun through y/ns mind, was Spencer.
THE END
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quodekash · 7 months
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CONTINUING EPISODE 5
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sorry bro, she's into women
which is totally fair, have you SEEN women????
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she's AGGRESSIVELY trying to communicate her love of women with him
HES SO JEALOUS THIS IS HILARIOUS
(its reminding me of sound getting really angry when pat suggests that tiw might like win)
(I PHYSICALLY CANNOT STOP TALKING ABOUT THE SATANG AND PERTH SIBLINGS AGENDA, IM SORRY (im not sorry))
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IT'S SO CUTE OH MY GOSH
I LOVE
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LMAO
NICE ONE
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OML
IM WHEEZING
I THINK HE DREW HIM AS HANDSOME SQUIDWARD
THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING IVE EVER SEEN
IM DYING
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THE RESEMBLANCE IS UNCANNY
OML ITS 1 IN THE MORNING I NEED TO BE QUIET AND NOT WAKE EVERYONE UP BUT IM LAUGHING SO HARD
it's been over three minutes straight of me just laughing at this
im losing my mind
EVERY TIME I THINK IVE CALMED DOWN, I OPEN UP THE YOUTUBE TAB AGAIN, AND THEN IT BRINGS ANOTHER BURST OF LAUGHTER
I quite literally laughed about the handsome squidward drawing for nearly 5 whole minutes
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OH MY GOODNESS
AND HE GETS A BASKETBALL THROWN AT HIM????
ARE WE ABOUT TO GET GUYNAWA CONTENT AS WELL???
WHEN I THOUGHT THIS EPISODE COULDNT GET ANY BETTER OMG
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THEY ARE FLIRTING
TAKE NOTES, GUYS, THIS IS FLIRTING
i... have never been flirted with before. nor have I ever flirted with someone before. (at least to my knowledge)
BUT THEYRE FLIRTING GUYS THYERE FLIRTING
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oh you wanna make out with him so bad
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THEYRE FLIRTING SO HARD
THEYRE JUST TRYNA GET EACH OTHER'S ATTENTION
JUST MAKE OUT GUYS, ITLL BE A MORE PRODUCTIVE USE OF YOUR TIME
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PO4ENKWGOPILVJWENJKGSVOJW3E4HIBSJGJPOINVOP4JWEOPINSGD
THEY SHOOK HANDS
THEIR HANDS ARE HOLDING EACH OTHER
ALSO: THEY HAVE TO BE NICE TO EACH OTHER FOR AT LEAST A WHILE
AND THEN THEYRE GONNA GET USED TO BEING NICE TO EACH OTHER WITH THE FRIENDLY BANTER THROWN IN THERE FOR SPICE
AND THEN THEYRE GONNA MAKE OUT OR SMTH
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WOAH
W O A H
WOAH BUDDY
I COULD FEEL THE SEXUAL TENSION OF THAT THROUGH THE SCREEN
they just need to slap their bodies against each other (clothes optional)
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THE HEAD TILT
HES SO ATTENTIVE
LOOK AT THE LONGING LOVING STARE
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I have no idea who this is.
but I am very much in love with her
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the amount that he cares about him is literally insane and its making me insane
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THE LOCKS
OH MY GOODNESS
aw nooo sailom is sad bc he knows kang likes pimfah :(
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WHAT DOES HE NEED TO DO
IS HE GONNA PUT UP HIS OWN LOCK???
IS HE GONNA PUT UP HIS OWN LOCK AND ITLL BE LIKE LOCKED WITH SAILOMS OR SMTH?????
OMG OR MAYBE
MAYBE HE'S GONNA TRIP OVER IN THE ENGINEERING SQUARE THINGY
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oh :(
but the sad piano music is playing and its showing sailom's face
im wanting to think that sailom's gonna turn around bc he's sad, and as soon as he starts walking away, kang's gonna suddenly have a realisation and he'll change his mind and he'll put the lock with sailom's, but im definitely delusional
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what.
hang on
im so confused right now
she... likes sailom?
what?????
I-
wh
what????
I wasn't expecting a love triangle like this???
IM LITERALLY SO CONFUSED WHAT IS GOING ON
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GIVE ME ANSWERS BITCH
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dude.
DUDE.
D U D E
THE WAY THAT YOU'RE LOOKING AT HIM RN??????
ITS MAKING ME EVEN MORE CONFUSED
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D U D E
YOU'RE FOCUSSING SO MUCH ON HIS LIPS THERE HAD TO BE A ZOOM IN SHOT
THERE IS NO HETERO EXPLANATION
I WAS SO SURE KANG WOULD REALISE HIS FEELINGS TODAY BUT ITS JUST GOTTEN SO BLINDINGLY OBVIOUS TO EVERYONE EXCEPT HIM
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O K A Y
OKAYOKAYOKAYOKAYOKAYOKAY
OKAY
ITS ALL GOOD
THANK GOODNESS
SO HE'S GONNA *PROPERLY* REALISE HIS FEELINGS NEXT WEEK AND HES GONNA DANCE AROUND TELLING HIM FOR THE ENTIRE EPISODE AND THEN THEYRE GONNA KISS AT THE END GJREKDBG I CANT WAIT
im so proud of myself for being right about that. I predicted that they're gonna kiss next week. im so freaking awesome
in other news: I am not okay
IN OTHER OTHER NEWS: IT'S ONLY 1:45AM TODAY AND IVE ALREADY FINISHED, IM DOING BETTER THAN I DID LAST WEEK
goodnight folks, and keep breathing drts
peace out ✌️
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posebean · 11 months
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letting it leave mutual circles heres my rinky fic idea enjoy
niki gets into an accident (because of rinne) saving him or smth like getting hit by a car and so then nikis seriously injured and wakes up in a hospital covered in bandages and his arm in a sling but no memories at all not even his own name rinnes there when he wakes up and is breaking down into tears and then nikis just like. im sorry but. who are you? and rinne just stares and is like niki are uou joking
niki: niki? is that my name
rinne:
and then rinne leaves the room and niki is so confused because 1. he has no idea who he is and why he was in a hospital all beaten up and 2. he had no idea who that red haired man was and then out of exhaustion and painkillers he passes out
the next time he wakes up himeru and kohaku are there n help him out . explain to him a bit about who he is, take him out of the hospital. red haired man from earlier is nowhere to be found niki feels like he dreamed that whole scene. himeru and kohaku dont mention rinne at all idk why because if rinne wanted something stupid they wouldnt but well. gotta advance stupidity somehow i guess
its a whole thing of niki finding this red haired man trying to befriend him but rinne just acts like theyre strangers out of pure guilt and horror because the love of his life was literally on his deathbed because of him (he wasnt rinnes just being a dramatic bitch)
but theres still the fact that niki got hurt because of him and now has no memories except for standard motorskills and etc and a little innate stuff for cooking but like. no memories memories. no relationships or feelings.
and everyone at es is careful around niki because he doesnt remember and hes probe to migraines as if hes trying to remember but just cant and also for some reason he feels like a part of him is missing and he gravitates toward that red haired man he thought he hallucinated after running into rinne in the halls on coincidence one day and rinne just. tries so hard to push him away and it explodes into a whole rinne-kun why are you pushing me away i just wanna get to know you the way you act its like we knew each other before i lost all my memories
and rinnes like you dont want to know me and its better this way you really wont like scum like me and nikis like bro what are you talking about first ur saying were strangers now ur saying we do know each other and have for this whole time and rinne is like
you were my star but i put you out with my own hand lets leave it at that and then runs away and now niki has even more wuestions unanswered than answers and its a whole game where niki slowly pieces together from things scattered around his apartment, vague memories of someone else's life, something with Rinne and hes like oh and idk the chase continues until he finally corners rinne and is like rinne-kun i might not be the same anymore i might not have any memories of you at all but now i know is that the me in the past was the most dearest to you and i know you feel like you are the reason hes gone and feel the need to punish yourself but i dont think hed want that he pushed you out of the way of that car for a reason i may not be the same, i may not have the memories that we used to share. but i know that deep down i still have that love for rinne-kun. id like to get to know rinne-kun again. that sweet brute of a man that the past me loved so much. i want to relearn every memory ive forgotten, every memory that is important to rinne-kun. maybe one day ill messure up to the past me again , maybe ill be whole again, rinne-kun, will you help me remember and then rinne fucking bawls because he hasnt cried at all in front of niki during this and was only in complete shock or cold apathy (while himeru and kohaku watch him sob in private and are like. u fucking idiot stop doing this n hes like no i ruined niki he'll be betyer off without me )and cue tender moment where hes like niki doesnt have to get any memories back i will love him no matter what, no matter the cost even if the world burns and we all change that will always stay true. and nikis like but i wanna rember if these memories are so important to rinne/kun they must be important to me too i dont know if ill ever get all my memories back but i at least want to know the memories that rinne kun loves so in case rinne-kun loses his memory i can be the one to remind him of the memories he holds so dear
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girlwithfish · 6 months
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i can tell the therapists in my program dont wanna use the word bpd nd idk. it just lwave s aweird feeling. like ik im not formally diagnosed and i also know bpd is incredibly hard to diagnose and also complex ans also u probably dont even rly want it written down but it was written down on my file for my past therapist. so its just weird my current ones dont wanna believe it. its rly confusing to me i feel ashamed to even bring ot up. i was talking abt splitting in individual session and she like corrected me kinda and said its trauma response. like yes splitting is often a trauma response too both can b true. its just really confusing but ik therapists have biases and the stigma makes it so fkn complex but i just feel really crazy and insane and like no one hears me. like maybe i dont present as someone w a personality disorder and also the way i describe past events i dont delve into all the ugly full details and its not oike im trying to lie and ill describe it but its like i subsconsciously water it down ig just so its easier to say? idk. idk im just crazy rn. but its making me feel rly bad honestly lol. ik diagnosis doesnt matter that much honestly when im already learning dbt skills and cbt and the program is stillhelpful bjt that aspect puts me off. and there's at least 3 other ppl in my group w bpd as well. I just feel like i cant eben bring it up around mental health professionals i feel like no one fucking believes.me. at leas tmy last therapist did and i still eben doubt her own opinion cuz she told.me "what were dealing w is definitely bpd" when i asked her and also said its on my file but she didnt tell me that til end of september so ive been sitting w that for a month and its hust confusing as fuck. ik i shld grt formally diagnosed maybe but i srsly dont trust mental health professions that way anynore and they r very hesitant to diagnose bpd anyway. that therapisf did think ihave it and say i did but yk im just really confused. And overall ik diagnoses r just labels so who cares ig but idk it does make it rly hard when i go thru smth that ik isnt normal and ik i split so its just confusing when everyone around u has some bias against u or disbelief i guess ik i sound paranoid idk. But ik most mental health professionals do nto take me seriously itfeels honestly. and imalso not great at advocating for myself so as soon as someone expresses doubt i just go w it i guess. idk
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masonsystem · 4 months
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the next game i plan to play is TWEWY. unlike the other games ive been playing recently i will not be going into this game blind bc that is impossible for me, cuz ive lived with the worlds biggest twewy fan who is my brother. literally have memories from 2009/2010 of hearing the twewy ost from his ds first thing in the morning. he has also told me the entire lore of this game multiple times. i also tried to play it before in like 2016 or 2017 cuz my brother rly wanted me to and he was like 'its shorttt you can do it'. He Was Lying. and i also watched like 80% of his neotwewy playthru.
so im going to try again now as a More Experienced Gamer. hoping to finish before the end of january cuz thats when i see him again and i wanna hv scholarly discussions abt it with him. and maybe ill play neotwewy if i feel like it (i doubt this). for fun i want to list down everything i know abt the game from my brother so after i finish it i can revisit this post and laugh at it
- "What's a meme?"
- i dont actually know what a meme is. i remember this gameplay mechanic confusing me
- everybody is DEAD and this is PURGATORY or something like that. i still dont really understand what the reaper's game is despite knowing abt twewy for like 16 years
- this game is not a week long my brother LIED. i thought the game would end after one week which is why i tried it back then LOL i know that theres three weeks.. i think..
- shiki doesnt actually look like that thts actually the appearance of her toxic yuri friend or something. i remember this Very vividly bc its like the biggest plot reveal from week one and i remember being like WOAHHHH and jaw-dropped and it was so awesome. its still so awesome! im excited to experience that again
- beat and rhythm are hit by a car but the cars look like sharks bc uh.. hm...
- i actually dont know why the enemies look like that. i know theyre like..... Negative Spirit Energy or SMTH LIKE THAT but why they take the form of animals... idk
- Calling..... Someone is Callinggg 🎶
- the music is really good
- EVERYONE IS SO SKINNY ITS ALMOST SCARY
- fashion fashion that mechanic is fun. you need bravery in order to crossdress which gives you epic stats. which i think is very fun!
- also fuck im realizing that this is a squarenix jrpg meaning im gonna have to be planning members stats and all that shit again. and while i do miss doing that, i hope twewy's 2008 (2007?) design isnt too asswater and is actually functional
- THE COMBAT IS HARD i remember having to draw shit with my left hand while my right hand had to tap buttons! like what!!! according to my brother the combat utilizes every part of the ds, even things like the microphone and closing the screen, and is why he likes this game so much. i hope i can like it as much as him
- im nekuuuu and im rude and unfriendly and i cant remember anything and im mean but I'll Become Kinder as the game progresses
- neku chokes shiki??? i think he was trying to kill her??? so he could leave the game or something.. and she was floating? i have levitation powers???
- i dont remember if i get epic powers.. i feel like thats something i shouldve remembered
- i dont know what the math dude does in this game. i dont remember what all the dudes with the wings are called or what their deal is but ohhh i remember them all pissing me off
- THE FUCKING PIN GAME pins??? badges?? bottlecaps??? i dont remember but i remember that minigame pissing me offff. fuck im gonna have to experience squarenix minigames again
- there is so much dialogue wohfuisdhfjk Squarenix JRPG.
- shiki DISAPPEARS at the end of the first week.. for some reason.. and neku plays a second week so he can bring her back. and that happens again for the third week where i think??? beat and rhythm disappears at the end of the second week? but this time neku isnt just betting on bringing his friends back HES BETTING ON THE FAITH AND GOODWILL OF THE ENTIRE WORLD somethinggg like that
- joshua is the new partner for week 2 and he is such a gay boy.
- Mother and father calls me Joshua ohohohoho
- only dead people can enter the reaper's game and if you win you get another chance at life or something?? idk why tho..
- beat and rhythm entered the game bc they were running away from home cuz they have shitty parentsss and then they got hit by a car
- and shiki attempted suicide i think
- and neku can't remember how he entered the game.. oh... so mysterious....
- it was because joshua shot him with a gun
- and joshua is God because this is a Squarenix JRPG
- joshua wanted neku to show him humanity's worth or SOMETHING cuz neku was a kid who had lost faith in humanity or something like that??
- and joshua disappears in the ending i think very ambiguousss
- The World Begins With You....
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junovyradish · 8 months
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i have to post wxs strength headcanons bc im tired of ppl thinking rui isnt that strong
rui has to be the strongest bc building robots n stuff takes alot of strength (in my mind he is like michael reeves strength)
emu is also really strong cause shes very athletic to do all sorts of flips n trucks
nene has to have mad grip strength from playing shooter games maybe not the strongest elsewhere but can definitely hold ur hands so hard it hurts
tsukasa,,, idk what to say abt his strength but he definitely has a lot of endurance to being launched by explosions all the time so he can take a hit but i cant see him in a fight,,,, sorry
rui n emu are bulky in my mind could easily win fights they just dont look it but its that hidden strength (i still like hc bulkier emu though)
emu is beefier than tsukasa and i stand by this
anyways this makes me wanna read a fight club story or smth now
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shkika · 1 year
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Having trouble with thinking of something to ask hrmm
What part of the rw lore do you find most interesting? Like..what are your thoughts on it? any twists you've thought up or any detail/s you just wanna rant abt?
The rainworld lore is painfully a lot and painfully little at the same time, like why are the pearls focused on garbage worms and what is noise milking oh my goddd
moon isnt lore on her own but her pearl readings are a massive source of it. so if i had to say my favorite thing would be iterators and the relationship they had with their colonies. the fact they can vary and the fact iterators have different opinions of their parents!! (one iterator talked abt havjng to sit through dark political times awkwardly like 🧍🤷 at some points. thats funny)
ahem I looove it a lot!! for example the way moon worded her existence is sad. the way she speaks about them is sad. like in short “ancients must not try very hard so we do that for them. at least i did” <- smth along the lines
she sounds bitter she dislikes them with a hidden passion even when she has 5 braincells left. Not to mention she calls them parasites with bad takes (sheesh). something people dont really ?? recognize enough or at all imo is that moon almost retired (ancients moving away from her city) and she was happy about it. Until it didnt work out and some stayed and she was pissed again.
now pebbles speaks with softness (as much as he has it in him) he liked them! he liked their art! their music! he liked witnessing their stupid arguments even when they were in his name (he found the citadel he shaded funny for being so angry)
he found a lot of things they did stupid but he also was impressed in other aspects! he liked them a lot to the point the last item that he keeps for comfort and keeps him together as a whole is a hymn of theirs. even when abandoned, he finds comfort in the company they used to bring him!!! how sad!!
Another part of the lore. Hm cycles.
I have no idea how they work. Youd believe at first that when you die. You get reborn. Pain!!! never escaping!!
But that cant be the case it has sooo many plotholes if thats the case.
1 artificers kids died! straight up GONE. theyre dead!! thats why shes so insane you cant tell me theyre just lost somewhere and also pups cant ascend (me when i reach spiritual enlightenment at 10). theyre straight up gone.
2. imagine u defeat the scav kind and he comes back an hour later.. nah. thjngs DIE
3 why did the ancients go crazy over killing themselves then idk!
4 suns was basically crying about how they dont know what theyll do if spearmaster dies. yeah no respawning then.
So then the cycle is being reborn into smth new. great. how does karma play in this. how do you raise it. time? do you have your old memories after u go into a new cycle?? i dont know!! no scug has ever been plagued with dreams of being smth else before. !!! how do you confirm its a thing!! idk!! how do you know you are in a samsara! i wish we got ancients talking about it. in pearls or smth.
i havent ascended with saint yet. (reached karma 10 and bonked the siblings) but i doubt they answer all of my questions
random kiki rw lore fact- did you know that the rot area - (riv gameplay) there is a room in it thats just called terror!!! it upsets me greatly. the place is so different because the rot literally eats his walls. it fucks me up sometimes even if it seems obvious
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