#i want to be gross

[gender-euphowrya]

thing about terfs trying to make transmascs feel bad about T by going "you're not gonna turn into an anime twink you're gonna be stinky and greasy and look like your dad" is i don't think they get that some of us look forward to that

#i want to be gross #i'm a human being stink and grease and whatever thing you've decided is undesirable is just a natural element of our existence #i'd say something along the lines of it's a small price to pay to get to be who i am #but it's not even a price ! it's part of life. it's unavoidable even for cis women #i'm sorr you've been tricked into thinking that a sanitized version of the human body is attainable #but i'm gonna embrace mine #i'm gonna be stinky greasy sweaty and maybe balding and my piss is gonna smell so bad #welcome to earth ! #i'm also gonna be happy. isn't that wonderful ?

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[xshinina]

*Married life playing in the background

This idea was probably funnier in my head

#sansmaeda #sansmaeda wedding #undertale #danganronpa #nagito komaeda #sans undertale #meme post #I swear there's a reason why not everyone attended in nagito's side #no one wanted to go in the first place #sdr2 #fanart #so for the record: #Ibuki DID attend but could't stay put for 5 minutes so she got bored and left #Teruteru is still pretty angry and bitter at Nagito #Hiyoko couldn't care less and thought it was gross #Akane saw no reason to go since her main source of food wouldn't go (Teruteru) #And spoiler alert but Chiaki's fucking dead lmao #she would've gone tho #probably #Also pretend nagito's using really good foundation on his hand cuz I totally forgot about his metal arm

[jaradraws]

DISCLAIMER: the blood is a feature, not a bug 🩸☎️

#you could probably compress some corporate horror social commentary in here #'we create tech with the heart to love you back 🫀' #this isn't rly one of those things tho i just wanted to make a gross lil sticker sheet comparing veins and wires #jara draws stuff #original #cw: body horror #cw: blood #cw: gore

[ssalballoon]

oh! you made gale laugh! 🌷💞

#drew this bcs i never draw gale happy TTOTT #enamoured myself with MY OWN DRAWING OF HIM💥 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 fanart #my art #wanted to add the worm emoji bcs it's so cute on google phones but it's kinda gross on ios :( #save me from exams gale... gale save me...

[shivunin]

Because I have just seen this specific thing for the second time, I would like to say:

If I reblog your art, I do not expect you to reblog (or share!) my fic in return

If I comment on your fic, I do not expect you to comment on (or read!) mine in return

My enjoyment of anyone's work does not come with strings or expectations

My friendship is not a bill that you will have to pay later

That's it!

#the fucking obsession with fandom becoming ~content creation~ has got to stop. this is not a business. #i don't like it when someone acts like i owe them because they complimented my work #and i will never do that to someone else #kindness has to be freely given or it isn't kindness; it's manipulation #this just. makes me feel super gross and it upsets me that it's happened twice #and that both people explicitly stated in their profiles that this is an expectation they have of fandom #you can't form a community by force. that's not how it works. #anyways. rant over. i just want it to be known that i'm not expecting anything from anyone lol #if i talk to you or hang out it's because i want to. i don't want anything from you except you know #kindness and companionship or w/e #bleargh. gonna go play a game or something. #dixeram

[warlenys]

i actually do not think aziraphale is gonna kiss crowley all tenderly he is gonna rip his glasses off throw them on the floor grab his collar and kiss crowley with the same ferocity he kissed him with. aziraphale is ravenous. he’s already had his first taste. that shit is not gonna be sweet and gingerly. it’s gonna be pornographic. like the ox

#i would take anything obviously but #i just. aziraphale needs to be as violent as crowley in his emotions #he spends so much time making everything good and sweet but it isn’t who he is #he wants to be gross and indecent and angry #and he deserves to be #just my take #good omens #azcrow #+

[salamispots]

dream from several days ago

#dream diary #artists on tumblr #flotsam diaries #sequential #...I said I was gonna sleep but that obviously didn't happen HAHA #anyways really happy that I was able to get the colors/vibes I wanted down fjhkgj :'D #a lot of nitpicking and adjusting hahah #also kororon/eve was on blast for the majority of drawing this hghhjf #alright good night/morning/something yall #edit: was thinking more and the feeling I wanted to get across I guess is like when someone voluntarily #reaches out to touch me/casually/platonically and it's like a 'you're touching me of your own free will??? o H' #because when I was growing up had a parent who wasn't physically affectionate/would kinda brush me off #and that uhhhh kinda internalized as I'm gross and therefore shouldn't touch other people #(lmao took covid lockdown and very good friends to basically destroy that feeling yay) #anYWAYS had feelings but didn't quite know how to verbalize it hahah

[a-hobit]

YALL BETTER LOOK OUT ITS LOVING AND PROTECTING LUZ NOCEDA HOURS!!!!!!!! 😤😤😤😤😤

The family dynamics this episode are going to murder my stupid family loving touch starved ass.

#toh #the owl house #the owl house eda #the owl house fanart #luz and hunter are siblings #luz and hunter being siblings makes me want to eat recycled cardboard #hunter noceda #camila noceda #luz noceda #eda clawthorne #camila loves her daughter #eda loves her daughter #toh fanart #THEYRE A BIG FUCKING LOVLY FAMILY #ANYONE TAG AS SHIP I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND MURDER YOUR GROSS ASS

[inkskinned]

they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

#writeblr #warm up #to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace #but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X' #and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!'' #babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3 #mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES #and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for #than have 1 kid NOT get help #but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here #bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness'' #it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!'' #& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness #but use it to defend THEIR actions #like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell? #you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse? #but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck? #your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross? #HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like #all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like. #anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol

[bottombaron]

oh ok so its the usual no-homo bullshit you always hear, good to know.

#wwdits #what we do in the shadows #guillermo de la cruz #nandor the relentless #nandermo #look im a reasonable guy #i dont get worked up easily and ive been around writers rooms and understand the pressures of writing a big show like wwdits #hell i even liked season 4 #but this has got to be one of the most offensive bs ive read that wasnt from 2015 #‘its only a small (but vocal) amount of people that actually want to see them together’ #‘their love isnt ~s*xual~ they dont need to kiss its more ~profound~ than that’ #‘you don’t REALLY want to see them together! (thats gross!)’ #also ‘the power dynamic is ~problematic~’??? are you kidding me??? #jfc its like someone literally got this out of the queerbating handbook from 2010 #and like yeah i know wwdits isnt queerbating but its queerness feels more performative when it treats an actual central relationship #like its a gross kinkything only a few freaks on the internet want #instead of a legitimate plausible story that deserves exploration #nandermo should be a triumph - a victory for the characters and something the writers should be pleased with writing #not…this. #like it’s some problem pressured reluctantly upon them that needs to be carefully defused #this has left a bad taste in my mouth

[vermwerm]

LIFE OR BATH?! [it is 4/20 i hav to post this today regardless of how off it is from my usual posting schedule]

#kib art #ik how fuckass my sisyphus looks shut up #v1 is gross and stinky [canon] #artists on tumblr #digital artist #digital art #ultrakill #ultrakill fanart #v1 #ultrakill v1 #v1 ultrakill #ultrakill minos #minos prime #king minos #sisyphus prime #king sisyphus #sisyphus #AAAA TOO MANY TAGS WHAT THE WORM #ughghh #ferryman ultrakill #tiny gabs #v1 did not want to take the bath #so they died on their own accord #also guhhh i jus wanted to test out drawing the primes n ferryman so thats why theyre there :3

[curapicas]

This is dungeon meshi. "I don't want the meal you're offering" might be the cruelest thing a character gets to hear.

Well. Maybe second most cruel...

"I won't offer you food again" might be worse

#dungeon meshi spoilers #tfw you didn't want his gross food but ate anyway bc you feared exactly this #kabru triggering himself for his goals to suffering the pains of open communication pipeline #dm has a rule and it’s simple: meal together = desire for connection #dungeon meshi #I like senshi is also shocked here. 1st bc of course he is and 2nd it keeps laios from being too much the butt of the joke #after all he just learned he didn't actually make a friend! #this too is labru #labru

[soldier-poet-king]

Ik halsin was a last minute addition but I kinda wish he had a full romance route ngl. Like. He's not normally my type of man but I am not immune to his treetrunk arms, kindhearted gentle trustworthiness, and stupid whittling of wooden ducks. The old worn sadness in his eyes. The burden of unwanted leadership. The hundreds of years of work to correct a past percieved mistake. The unending compassion for literally everyone, but esp children & the tiefling refugees. The wanderer and free spirit who, without giving up his freedom, finally finds a purpose, a reason to stop wandering, a devoted goal for his heart. He's SAFE and KIND and I like that in a man.

#his epilogue made me cry. ngl. like a lot????? #bg3 #halsin #idk man im just. not immune to giant bear man #also can we please talk abt what happened with him and the drow #its never resolved. and sir. sir. that is a trauma #talk all you want abt the oak father's gifts but like. sir. that is imprisonment and assault. can we please discuss this. #he is also very direct and i appreciate that #like no sir i do not want to talk about sex but at LEAST we're all on the same page #and hes respectful and not pushy gross #IM BAD AT READING CUES. I NEED U TO BE DIRECT WITH ME #i say. as a hypocrite. who only ever previcates bc vulnerability is dangerous

[labmousegirl]

are you disabled or suffer from other chronic conditions that often leave you bed bound? do you often feel like you’re in the “damn bitch you live like this?” meme because cleaning is too exhausting?

my protip is get yourself one of THESE bad boys and hang it by your bed

it’s an over the door shoe rack and the pockets are perfect for holding a lot of household objects.

you can use the pockets to store trash, snacks, meds, and water bottles. if you worry about hygiene, you can also keep some for dry shampoo, deodorant, body wipes, clean undergarments, or toothbrush materials. on good days, you can clean it out and restock it, or have someone else help you. on bad days, you won’t have to worry about getting food and you’ll be able to feel a little better about hygiene.

it’s also really great if you want to keep your hobbies close by!! i can often only work on my bed, and then i have to worry about putting everything away if i have to lay down. if it’s a hobby that has materials that can be stored in the pockets, it can feel more accessible to jump in and out of and take less spoons to set/clean up.

#spoonie #chronic illness #chronic pain #chronic fatigue #disability #tagging for exposure bc i want this tip to get out it helped me a lot #feel like shit today might as well share this tip so i feel sort of productive #worth mentioning i suffer from chronic illness and fatigue that they’re still testing (altho medicating under the assumption of narcolepsy) #but i have trouble sitting and standing for long periods so i spend a lot of time in bed and so whenever my bed gets gross i feel gross #so this is based on chronic fatigue mostly

[oooocleo]

swapped out the wip for the final (probably??) version to keep my blog looking somewhat clean

#wip #my art #sacrifice #i love it when knights r destined to die (: #im still not sure if i want to make their crying face more gross #or if the blind determination is more impactful #hmmm #flinging themselves into death bc thats what expected and such and so forth