#i watch their videos (SUE ME!!) but not much else so i dont know the general vibe of their fans at all but i do think it's a lot more chill

[darcyolsson]

tired of being quiet about this.......i do think dnp returning to youtube in the way that they did is one of the most unexpected events in the history of the internet to me. dan howell is a far, far better person than me because if i were him i would be in jail or in the hospital or both and certainly not on youtube. the amount of trust he has in their audience despite It All is insane to me i genuinely didnt think i'd ever see him again and my main feeling about that was 'good for him' and yet here the 2 of them are..... every post-hiatus video i click on feels like a fever dream from another universe. i hope everyone who watches them knows their newfound openness is very undeserved

#need to pick dans brain because i genuinely cannot fathom the decision to go back after everything #i watch their videos (SUE ME!!) but not much else so i dont know the general vibe of their fans at all but i do think it's a lot more chill #but sometimes i see their twitter replies and im like well. guess no one learned anything at all #personal #dnp #<- well thats a tag i have not used in 1 billion years. but my respect for blacklisters is too big to let any post go untagged

[wakanawill]

Bro i need to ask- where did you learn to felt? When did that show up as a hobby? It seems like such a hard thing to just pick up some day and it's had me wondering if there was a reason or if it was a spur of the mill decision that has clearly payed off greatly.

-sinsly

oh boi those will be hard to answer cuz my memory is bad

Where did I learn to felt - Internet! I dont remember where exaclty I found felting but I saw it and some needle felted stuff and I was like "OH THAT'S THE SAME THING I SAW NAPSTABLOOK MADE IN THAT ONE MINIATURE HOUSE VIDEO" and I got super interested and I watched a bunch of stuff and I ordered the wool and needles for felting and I started doing it. It was about 3 years ago now

When did that show up as a hobby - tbh I am not sure what this question means. may he cuz I'm not sure what exacly a hobby is. But after getting the wool I was felting on and off when I felt like it. I had phases when I felted a lot and when I didnt felt at all. (I used to have only so much wool that I could put it in my fav bag. Now at it I have all the other stuff for felting and dolls except the wool. I have so much wool). I remeber that in the first year of needle felting I was moslty doing small not dolk stuff. I started felting somewhere in fall and I tried to make a first doll in summer I think. I found some cool photos and was like "I can do that!" also I could not find how people make them for the love of primes. But I made them anyway cuz how hard it can be really. So I did. I mean the doll wasnt perfect but ite moslty how I still do them with some changes but the base is all there. in the second year I did a lot more dolls. I have a bag of them. maybe 10 tops? somehow dolls in that period I managed to do in 4-5 hours which is like HOW? I mean they are simpler and dont have as much stuff on them and the hair wasnt curled up and the clothes weren't seperate things but HOW THE FLIP. some time later after my main phase for making dolls calmed down I made lego monkie kind Monkey king doll (I'm still proud of this one tbh) and Timothy Lawrence doll from BL3. And at the end this summer I think I was just watching some dsmp stuff and for whatever reason I thought that I could make dolls of dsmp. cuz like... I can make dolls of my fav characters so why not! it's not like there is any merch on any way similar to dolls that I could buy. I mean there are plushies I guess but that still pretty far. also just making them is cheaper for me. And then I thought that maybe other people would like to have dolls like this too. and that maybe I could earn myself some money on it. Cuz like any work I could do without education (I'm at uni rn) is something I could not do mentally and my mom is all the time that I should try to earn some money myself. so I was like let's try to make those dolls! But as you see I still didnt sell any cuz I'm kinda very scared of doing stuff I dont know and like selling somebody's else merch is kinda not exaclty legal (but I dont think ranboo and other streamer will try to sue me for selling dolls of them on etsy?) and also selling anything without proper tax stuff is kinda not exaclty legal also? Idk law is so weird I dont get it. Every time I try to figure out how it theoretically should be done in legal way i just panic xd. also I'm afraid of post offices cuz last time I tried to send something to somebody as far as I know they didnt receive it (they did have incentive to not tell me that it arrived I guess so like idk) but soon I'll be sending something to somebody and hopefully my mom will help me with operating the post office! and hopefully it'll give me enaght of a kick if it works out that I'll actually try to make that flipping etsy shop.

Cuz I really like making those dolls dont get me wrong. and seing people like them it really nice too (finally some good fucking serotonin). But I'm trying to make those dolls in many difrent cool and better ways (like tommy was first doll to get curly hair and ranboo has sewed clothes instead of felted ones and George ot first doll to not have clothes complelty felted onto his body) but BOIIII IT COSTS MONEY. It costs a lot of money. I recently bought alpaka fleece and I cleaned it and I'm gonna use it for doll hair so they actually can have some longer hair but BOI it was expensive and cleaning it took ages. So yea mom will figuratively eat me if I at least dont try to sell those XDDD (also having so many family members being like "Did you sold any?" or "when will you sell them?" or "you should sell them" is annoying and then after being told how much I would charge for them they are like "em nobody's gonna buy those" like Oh please stop)

That... that's is a really long replay that doesnt even exaclty replay to what you asked but tells my needle felting origin story i guess. I'm sorry xdd tell me if I forgot to answer to something

tl:dr

I was needle felting on the internet once got interested and decided to try out. felted on and off and one day I realized that i can do dolls of my fav characters and then i realized that probably some people would be willing to buy them if i sold them so is started making dsmp dolls that you can see on my tumblr but I'm soo anxious to try to make an etsy shop (I will make one someday. I WILL) So here I am.

I still didnt post eret doll shit

#ww talks #needlefelting #needle felting

[malfoyfarms]

Momma J

“Omg do something where jj cares for you in sleepy girl again. Maybe like you get to drunk and he takes care of you in front of your friends and doesn’t care that they tease him.” -nonnie

“more soft jj x reader please i love your writing” -nonnie

Pairing: JJ Maybankx Fem!Reader

W/C: 737

Warnings: storms, mentions of alcohol (underaged), language, forced yakking 

A/N: this is not my best I apologize:( but i watched a video on tik tok on how to make blue mac n cheese, i’m trying to write something else that is better, pls dont sue :(

*NOT EDITED*

Late night drinking on JB’S patio during a storm was a typical behavior for you and your friends. The night had started out as enjoying a beer with dinner, but ended up playing a couple games of quarters and two rounds of Tall Boy Roulette. 

You were so close to finishing your second Lime-a-Rita, praying it was the last round of the night. The amount of alcohol you had consumed was going to make it hard to get up tomorrow. You were squeezed in between JJ and Sarah, and hadn’t stood up in a while, which indicated you really didn’t know how drunk you were. 

JJ’s arm snaked around your waist, pulling you as close to him as he could. The dazed look in your eyes confirmed to him that you were indeed drunk. A lackadaisical smile appeared on your face as you realized who was holding onto you. 

“I’m going pee, don’t miss me too much,” you giggled. The moment you stood up, you knew you were fucked. 

“You good Y/n/n?” JJ asked. You gave him a quick thumbs up and went on your way. 

Your body swayed back and forth as you slowly made it to the bathroom. Trying to sit down on the toilet was a process you had never found difficult until this moment in time. Your subconscious mentally thanked you that you had sweatpants on, and not something with buttons or a zipper. Once you had finished peeing and washing your hands, you entered the second stage of drunk Y/N-- the slump. 

“Babe! Arms open now!” You yelled through the house, hoping you were heard. You rounded the corner to go out to the porch to be greeted with open arms. You clumsily clambered into the blonde boy’s lap, your back against his chest, head coming to rest on his collar bone. 

                                                       ~~~

Not even twenty minutes later JJ was looking down at your sleep induced face. A strike of lightning cracked over the ocean, causing you to jump awake. 

“Fuck I’m really drunk,” you mumbled as you toyed with the strings on JJ’s sweatshirt. He moved some hair out of your face, knocking into your nose. 

The entire scene around you was spinning, making it hard to focus on any words being spoken around you. Your throat went dry, and you knew what was going to come next. As your body tensed above JJ’s he could tell something was off. “Uhm, I’m going to go pull trig and go to bed, goodnight.” With those simple words you stumbled towards the bathroom for the second time tonight. You heard quick footsteps follow you, and help you gently sit on the ground.

“Aha, my knight!” You giggled, making JJ laugh. He quickly picked your hair up into a messy bun and left the bathroom to grab some water. You shoved your index and middle finger down your throat until you felt your gag reflex come into action.

While you were emptying your stomach into the toilet you felt a blanket being placed over your shoulders, and a hand gripping the bun on top of your head. Once JJ was sure you were done, he pulled your head back by the bun to face him. He wiped your mouth off with toilet paper and gave you some water to drink. Your toothbrush was ready with toothpaste on it. JJ’s arm around your waist kept you standing as you brushed your teeth at a sub-par level. 

The sweet boy then moved on to wiping your face a final time with a washcloth, and meandering you into his designated room. 

“Aw look at Momma J taking care of his baby,” John B teased. A middle finger was sent his way from JJ and a goofy wink was sent from you. 

You plopped on the bed, making grabby hands as JJ tried to peel back the quilt.

“Jayj, your drunk baby needs you. Really really bad,” he chuckled at how needy you had become. Once he had finally settled in next to you, JJ felt you slowly make your way onto his chest. Your hands played with the frayed bottom of his shirt, causing a tickle against his skin. He could sense the drifting of your consciousness, the alcohol and vomiting catching up with you. 

“Goodnight darling, I love you,” he whispered with lips pressed to your temple. 

“I hmm whoo,” was sincerely mumbled back. 

#Outer Banks #outer banks imagine #jj maybank #jj maybank imagine #jj x reader #jj maybank smut #jj outer banks #john b #john b x reader #john b outer banks #john b imagine #pope heyward #pope outer banks #pope heyward imagine #kiara carrera #kiara outer banks #kiara one shot #sarah cameron #sarah obx #sarah cameron imagine #pogue life #pogues x reader #hms pogue

[legionofpotatoes]

we decided to watch all story cutscenes from the new resident evil village videogame on a whim, since it’s not really our cup of tea gameplay-wise but seems to be this massive zeitgeist moment that made us morbidly curious. And I know how much everyone cares about my thoughts on things I know very little about, so. let’s get into it huh gamers. and yeah spoilers?

for context, I’ve only played resident evil 4 and a small portion of 5. I also read the wikipedia entry for 7’s plot recently. all this to say I was only vaguely aware of how tonally wacky the series was going in

I also completely gave up following the plot of the mutagens’ soap opera, so that paid off in spades here as you might imagine

anyway so that baby in the intro. that baby’s head is just massive. humongous toddlerdome. when ethan finds the baby’s head in a jar later on. there is no way that head would fit into that jar. bad game design. no not even game design. basic stuff. one hundred years in prison for jar modeler

if I see a single functional hetero marriage in video games I will cry tears of joy. I understand their misery is kind of The Point irt them badly working through the hillbilly romp trauma but like. sheesh. at least set that up as an emotional story goal the plot will help resolve. but nope they start off miserable and it goes nowhere

I know I know the mia thing has a huge wrinkle in it but like. not really in terms of dramatic function?? set up a happy end to the re7 nightmare (miranda can keep up appearances for all she cares) and then take that all away from angry griffin mcelroy for manpain. it will still absolutely work to set up the dramatic forward momentum. why throw in this cliche Hollywood Tension in their marriage if you’re not going to address it oh maybe because it’s normalized as automatically interesting because nuclear families are a self-propagating pit of a very narrow chance at emotional happiness relying on social stigma to preserve their empty function oops my baggage slipped in yikes abort mission

I called him griffin mcelroy because I saw his face on twitter and. yeah. I will continue to do this occasionally. my house my rules

... fuck the reason I’m hung up on this is specifically because the rest of the game is so tonally dexterous (which is a shining point to me! more on that later!), and yet they felt weirdly compelled to create the aesthetic trapping of a family-at-odds trope without following it through too well. a sign of both the good and the bad stuff to come

but listen the real reason why I wanted to talk about any of this is to nitpick the fascinating backwards-engineered nucleus of the entire thing; in that this game essentially creates a melting pot of just SO many disparate horror tropes and then makes a no-holds-barred unhinged effort at weaving thick lore to piece them all together. it is truly a sight to behold. like straight up you got your backwoods fright night situation, your gothic castle vampires, your rural-industrial werewolves, and don’t forget your bloated swamp monsters over there, with then a hard left turn into robotic body horror, and the entire ass subgenre of Creepy Doll writ large, and the bloodborne tentacle monsters, and a hellboy angel bossfight, which rides on the coattails of a mech-on-mech pacific rim bonanza, and just jesus henry christ slow down

almost all of these are textural hijack jobs that don’t really get into the metaphor plain of any of those settings but the game sort-of makes an argument that the texture IS the point and revels in it. It is kind of admirable almost. The same reason why the intro felt boxed in and unmotivated is also why the rest of the game just blasts off of its hinges to the point of complete and self-indulgent tonal abandon. I kinda loved that about it. lady dimitrescu made sure to hold her hat down as she bent forward in mahogany doorways and then suddenly she’s a giant gore dragon and you settle in your temp role as dark souls man with Gun to take her ass down. Excellent??

this rhino rampage impulse to gobble up every horror aesthetic known to man comes to head when the game wrestles with its FPS trappings in what is the most hilarious solution in creating visceral player damage moments. Since most cinematics and the entire game is in first person, that leaves precious little real estate for the devs to work with if they really want to sell griffin’s physical crucible. To wit. This dude’s forearms. Specifically just the forearms. They are MASSACRED throughout the story. The poor man lives out the silent hill dimension of a hand model. by the end cutscene he looks like a neatly dressed desk clerk who had decided to stick both his grabbers into garbage disposal grinders just a few hours prior. like in addition to everything else it manages to rope in that tinge of slapstick violence into its general grievous genre collection except this time it IS for a lack of trying! truly incredible

but wait his miracle clawbacks from everything his poor paws go through are retroactively explained away, yes, but far too vaguely and far too late to console me as I sat and watched everyone’s favorite baby brother reattach an entirely severed hand to his wrist stump by just. placing it on there. and giving it a lil twist ‘n pop terminator-style. and then willing his fingers back into motion right in front of my bulging eyes. this game just does not care. it does not give a shit. and boy howdy will it work to make that into one of its strongest suits

cause generally speaking resident evil was THE premiere vanilla zombie content destinaysh for like a decade, right? and as the rest of the world and mainstream media started encroaching and bloodying its blue ocean it went and just exploded in every single conceivable horror trope direction like a smilodon on catnip. truly, genuinely fascinating franchise moves

yeah the big vampire milf is hot. other news; grass... green. although I do love the implication that her closet is just identical white dresses on a rack. cartoon network-level queen shit

apropos of nothing I’ve said there’s also this hobo dante-devimaycry-magneto man, and I can’t believe this sentence makes sense. anyway he made that “boulder-punching asshole” joke referring to chris redfield and it was probably the only easter egg that really landed for me and boy did it land hard. I have not seen him punch the boulder in re5, mind. I had only heard about how funny it is from friends. and here this dude was, probably in the same exact mindset as me, trying to grapple with that insane mental image. with you on that ian mckellen, loud and clear

I advocate vehemently against the shallow pursuit of hyper photorealism in art direction but I gotta admit it works really in favor of immersive horror like this. the european village shacks especially gave me super unchill flashbacks to my rural countryside retreat in western georgia. I could smell the linoleum dude. not cool

faces are weird in this game. can’t place it. nice textures, good animation, but the modeling template is... uuh strange? and the hair. it has that clustered-flat-clumpy look that harkens to something very specific and unpleasant but I just don’t know what. sue me

griffin’s mental aptitude to take all this shit in stride and end every seemingly traumatizing bossfight involving some fucking eldritch being yet unseen through mortal eyes by essentially throwing out an MCU quip is just. What the fuck dude? I mean that was funny how you casually yelled the f-word at a god damn werewolf that you considered a fairy tale an hour ago but are you like, all right?? it was swinging a sledgehammer the size of a bus at you, ethan

oh oh the vampires are afraid of cold and your last name is winters. I get it haha

Pro Gamer Nitpick: boss fights seemed a bit unnecessarily long?? idk why the youtuber we picked decided the ENTIRE propeller man fight counted towards the vital story scenes he was stitching together, but man mr big daddy lite there really had some get up and go huh??

why are they saying dimitrescu.. like that. is it really how you say that word or is the english language relapsing into its fetish for ending every single word with a consonant at all costs

I’m not saying it’s a dramatic miss of a twist in context of all that’s going on, but the “you died in the last game actually and have been DC’s clayface ever since” revelation is low-key. it’s. it’s just funny to me, I dont know what to say. century-old god-witch fails her evil plan after she mistakenly removes heart from what was definitely NOT just some white guy with eight fingers after all

chris realizing he’s about to become the player character and immediately swapping out his tsundere trenchcoat for the muscletight sex haver sweater

the little bluetooth speaker-sized pipe bomb he taped to his knife was nuclear?? really??? I must have missed something because that is just too good. I buy it though I totally buy it. chris just got them fun-sized nukes in his car trunk for, you guessed it, Situations

anyway this is all for now just wanted to briefly touch on how unexpectedly funny and tonally irreverent this seemingly serious game turned out to be. did not articulate any cathartic story beats whatsoever but my god it had fun connecting those plot points. he just fucking put his severed hand back on his stump and it Just Worked todd howard get in here

#text #another one in my bulleted review series with no rhyme or reason #sorry resident evil fans this could be a painful read pls turn away #i know almost nothing about it but i am gonna be super fake familiar and critical of this one hey ho

[chemiste]

Voicemail. ~part 2~

a/n : you want it? go get it! heres the second part to voicemail!! I’m thinking a 3rd and final part for this??? if y’all want it tell me! ALSO I’ve linked what the reader is wearing and maybe what others are too so if you see a link thats what it is. also wanted to say thank you so much for the support on this one shot!! i would put those big eye emojis but im typing on a laptop and i dont think O.O is the same....

first part!!!! go read

mah masterlist

“Next on the red carpet is singer/song writer Y/N L/N, wow look at that beautiful dress!! This year at the Grammys she is up for 3 awards, Song of the Year, Best Dance Recording, and Best Solo Pop Artist!” 

The interviewer exclaimed excitedly from her podium along side the paparazzi wall. It had been a week since the songs were let out for the world and so there was definitely an electricity in the air at the awards ceremony.

“All you fans are probably watching for the most anticipated performances of tonight! Harry Styles will be singing one of his new songs from his album FineLine! Twitter is going ballistic from the recently leaked songs about is break up with L/N, we all know the cameras will be on her tonight whenever he’s mentioned! Oh look, here she comes now!”

You walked over in your beautiful award dress, safe to say you were the best dress star there. Your hair was done up and the red long dress seemed to flow around you effortlessly as you walked. 

“Hello Diane, it’s lovely to see you again.” 

You said in a polite voice, smiling to her and the camera, she handed you an extra mic, ready to drown you with questions.

“I’m going to cut to the chase— did you listen to the songs?”

Wow, this lady’s cut throat I’ll give her that.

“Oh yes! I’ve listened to all the albums nominated this year and I’m so excited.”

“Oh I was talking about—“

“I’m so incredibly grateful for the nominations, I put my blood, sweat, and tears into this album and I’m glad the fans love it as much as I do.”

You could see the Diane deflate a little, understanding you’d keep dodging questions about Harry until it was over so she moved on. 

“Yes, you’re nominated for Best Dance Recording, the music video for your song Clouds was crazy! How long did it take you to figure out how to dance while flying?!” 

You laughed, thinking back to the many rehearsals of choreography on the ground and then being connected to cables and hoisted into the air to perform it. 

“A girl never tells her secrets,” you said with a wink. 

“Well speaking of flying in a music video, I know one performance tonight will be—“

Cheers and hysteric screaming filled the fan area as someone came on to the carpet. 

“Is that? Oh look, Harry Styles enters the stage in a—, my goodness! You and him are matching!”

You couldn’t believe it.

Harry was decked out in a full red suit, hair beautifully fluffed and glimmering in the light. He had red heels that looked like Dorthy’s slippers.

And he had the faintest amount of red lipstick on, making him look like an ethereal being in red.

“Wow, we really are matching.” 

You mumbled to yourself, half forgetting you were being filmed. 

You turned back to the camera the moment you remembered, making your face emotionless so hopefully the interviewer wouldn’t pick up on your thoughts at the moment. 

You quickly thanked her and slipped off into the sea of celebrities, hearing his voice ‘hello love! So happy you could come’ to the fans hoping he would give them a signature.

You entered the award room, looking for your assigned seat. Luckily you were strangely one of the only people in there aside from a few techies working on the stage lights.

“Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez, Billie Elish, Kahild… Harry….” 

You gasped, basically scoffing at what you saw next. 

“Y/N L/N? Are you fucking kidding me?!” 

You started to breathe a little faster, “Oh god, I don’t think I can do a whole ceremony next to him, after the whole thing online… and not responding to his texts.”

It’s true, when he had texted you that morning, it took you 5 hours and a shot of tequila to actually open his messages.

Bastard (wasn’t allowed to block, fuck PR)

Hey… I don’t know if you’ve gotten a call from one of your PR people yet but, I just wanted you to know I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, I don’t wish to put you through anymore than what I already have…

Bastard (wasn’t allowed to block, fuck PR)

Um, but uh, if you’ve listened to the songs, just know that I really do mean the words I sang. I wish we could have, uh talked, but I understand I’m not in any position to ask for that. Just, there were a few others songs that didn’t get leaked, and uh, I’d like you to have them. You don’t have to listen to them but, it would mean a lot to me if you did.

Bastard (wasn’t allowed to block, fuck PR)

“Mrs. Styles.”M4A. Click to open.

Bastard (wasn’t allowed to block, fuck PR)

“I Should Have Fought.”M4A. Click to open.

Bastard (wasn’t allowed to block, fuck PR)

“I’m Sorry.”M4A. Click to open.

You didn’t listen to them, like the others. 

You just… couldn’t. 

It had taken you so long to get over him and grind it into your head that you didn’t do anything wrong, he did. 

Your PR team decided the best thing to do was acted like nothing had happened because if you didn’t give a response the public would have nothing to go off of, so here you were, looking at one of the scheming ideas from someone on the Award Team to see if they’d be the first to get some action between the two of you.

“Fuck that.” 

You said to yourself, looking around to make sure no one was looking, you snatched your name paper and walked about 15 seats over and changed with Lana Del Ray. 

Because you were all in the front row, you couldn’t get farther than that, but this would have to do. You quickly put Lana’s paper in your previous seat and walked out of the room, escaping the ‘crime scene’.

At least I’m sitting next to Shawn now.

You and Shawn had gotten to be friends around a year ago when you bumped into him at the recording studio and....maybe spilled your marshmallow milkshake down his shirt.

“I’m so fuckin sorry! Oh god please don’t sue me for this, or worst, tell your fans!!” 

You rambled, padding him off with the napkins from your fast food bag. You looked up at the tall Canadian in front of you that just had a smile on his face.

 “Hey don’t worry about it, uh, I’m Shawn but I guess you already knew that.” 

“Yeah, I’ve been listening to your music for a while its fantastic, I’m—“ 

“Y/N L/N, America’s Favorite Child and Feminist thats not faired to fuck you up?” 

You grinned, “Oh you saw that video?” 

He laughed, “Hell ya I did, You punching that old misogynist groping that girl on the street is one of the videos saved on my phone!”

After that day, you both caught on like a house on fire since you seemed to be in the studio at the same time, it was great having someone to throw ideas around with at 3am when everyone else had left the studio.

“Y/N! Girl! I haven’t seen you in forever!” 

You looked up from the corner of the red carpet you had been hiding standing in. Hailee Steinfeld made her way over to you in a black dress that hugged her perfectly. 

You let out a sigh of relief, you gave her a big hug, breathing in her sweet perfume. 

“Hailee you’re a life savor, I feel so out of it here.” 

She gave you a soft look, “Cause he’s here right?”

You clinched your jaw, “And we’re fucking matching! How did that even happen? It’s literally the same shade of my dress and everything! There are so many shades his team could have chose but they went with that one! And the lipstick! He’s basically a devil personified! But he’s got style!”

You quietly rambled to your fellow singer, she squeezed your hand when the bell chimed telling everyone it was time to enter. 

“Y/N, before we go in I wanted to ask if you had listened to the songs.” 

“Uh, no… I… I couldn’t hear his voice staying those things to me so I just read the lyrics.” 

Hailee gave your bare shoulder a squeeze, “Well, I don’t want to play devil’s advocate,” you smiled at her little quip, “but I did, and what’s not in the lyrics just written is the emotion you could hear in his voice. During Drunk Thoughts, theres a part that people are speculating he’s crying while recording, trying force sing it out and, it’s just, I think it’s time you spoke to him.”

Hailee was one of your most trusted friends and to hear her say this, wasn’t surprising.

You were starting to think it too.

“But, I’m scared H, what if makes it worse?”

The final bell chimed and you both started to walk inside. “I have a feeling it won’t."

                                                        ........

“What an incredible performance by Ariana Grande, next up is the show we’ve all been waiting for, or well I’ve been waiting for, here’s Harry Styles performing a new song from his nominated Album, FineLine!” 

James Corden announced from the side aisle. You felt Shawn subtly queen your hand, knowing there was bound to be a camera on you the whole time while Harry sang.

You took a deep breath,

No facials.

No twitching.

Calm.

The curtain came up from the stage, the set was a back cube cut diagonally so the audience could see the inside. 

Harry stood in a white suit sans a shirt. He wasn’t wearing shoes so you could see the painted red toe nails peeking out from underneath the too long suit pants. 

His hair had been messed with a bit, giving it a soft and fluffy just out of bed look.

Now he looks like an angel.

He held a red mic in his hand, and spoke into it.

“Before we start, I’d like to inform you that I will be singing an unreleased song not from my album called.”

He took a breath.

"Red.”

You curled your toes in your heels the only way you’d be allowed to release the tension you felt in your body since they were covered by your dress.

Fuck, that’s why we match.

A piano started playing, a sort of dark melody that reverberated through your bones and into your soul.

It’s all I can see,

It’s all I can hear,

The sound is loud,

But it’s not clear.

The tone of your voice,

Plays in my head,

That look in your eyes,

I can tell you want me dead.

Grays are the only color I see,

Black and white and in between.

But then I saw you in that dress.

The color of blood always suited you the best.

You and your red dress.

You and your red…… dress.

Thoughts swirl around, in my mind.

Pretty eyes and satin clothes,

They plagues my dreams, in the night.

Grays are the only color I see,

Black and white and in between.

But then I saw you in that dress.

The color of blood always suited you the best.

You and your red dress.

You and your red…… dress.

You watched as he struggled to hold back the emotion in his voice, you sucked in a small breathe when his eyes made contact with yours, unwavering.

Oh… I wish could take it back.

Oh… I wish I could take it back.

Oh… I wish could take it back.

Oh… I wish I could take it back.

You and your red dress.

You and your red…… dress.

You and your red dress.

You and your red…… dress.

The song ended and the audience was silent.

 Everyone could feel the tension in the room, so you did the only you could do.

You stood and started to clap.

Shawn and Hailee immediately followed your cue and soon the rest of the auditorium was erupting with cheers and roars of excitement.

But all you could focus on was the smile on his face, looking down at you.

And the one forming on yours too.

<3

3rd part right here!

alsoooo i’d like to say a big wtf to people that white wash reader inserts! it’s so damn easy to just put a little colleague together like i did and add it so everyone can envision themselves and like,,, need a hairstyle? literally say ‘you did your favorite hairstyle’ thats perfect and a neutral way to keep everyone happy!!! people that bitch about going the extra mile are worthless writers smh

#harry styles fanfic #harry styles x reader #harry styles one shot #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles x famous!reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry x reader #harry x y/n #harry x famous!reader #harry styles oneshot #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #one direction #h s #1d x reader

[pespillo]

Media that kept me sane this 2020:

no particular order, just stuff that made me scream or made me happy or just Stuck to my brain , im not saying its AMAZING MASTERPIECE Media im just saying it KEPT ME SANE. anyways (toots a little trumpet) 

1. 31 minutos

legit. legit i dont know where i would be mentally without this fucking show , YOUR MUSIC! YOUR HUMOR! YOUR CHARACTERS! SAVED ME /J but yeah anyways , chilean puppet show .. of my heart...

2. Illusion Lock

this yt series . ridiculously underrated , great music, eerie , sad, a strange story but kinda just stuck to me ... lil tree people...

3. DOOM 

im not joking, what, i love violence and i love sexy men and robots , and carnage and hell aaaaah let it rain blood n bones aaaaaaaaaaahhh!!!!!

4. BUGSNAX

a lil bit of a bug a lil bit of a snack what more DO I HAVE TO SAY????????! go watch it go play it go bugsnax

5. Johnny the Homicidal Maniac

ok. this one is a special interest and its EVERY YEAR but this year theres been more updates in fanwork so i just been Taken Again by The Murder comic and this old ass horror drama fic. its incurable. ive come to reconcile how i feel abt this fucking twink.

6. No Straight Roads

GREAT game, one of the greatest soundtracks of the year NO JOKE, just , watch it, play it,  AT LEAST listen to it, please for my wife EVE, EVE my beloved.

7. The Owl House

I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT IT ! its just , what a comforting and genuinely well made show ,  i cant wait for season 2 , its just , its HAS FLAVOR it has SPIRIT. fuck everything else (but i still got finish Kipo dont sue me)

8. Half Life VR but the AI is self aware

listen. who am i kidding , i got caught up in the hlvrai crazy train too, its a legitimately fun series of videos , and im holding Tommy Coolatta´s hand as we speak.

9. Carmen Sandiego

where in the world is carmen... sandiego... IN MY HEART! 

10. Green Eggs and Ham

the amount of work this series has, the heart it has , it was just a fun and loving series .. i also watched it with my bf who i got to meet irl and i felt great about that

i could list movies but this post is long enough come on .

anyways TOP MUSIC IVE LISTENED IN 2020: 

1. Kerosene! by Yves Tumor (i gotta listen more of this guy this 2021)

2. Psychedelic Porn Crumpets (excuse the name, but their albums are REALLY good, “November” introduced me in) 

3. McBaise (”Shes a big boy” was a cultural reset i know, but his other two albums are so underrated)

4. Drakengard OST (whatever the fuck is going on the game, i dont know i dont care, just listen to Black song White Scales, and come back to me) 

5. Gustavo Cerati , “Siempre es hoy” album (im always a cerati listener but relistening this album been ... healing )

6. Kate Bush (idk you but “Moments of Pleasure” keeps making me cry)

7. Tail song by Yoko Kanno (Napple Tale ost) (im also an avid Yoko Kanno listener but discovering this lil obscure game has been magical)

8. Macross music , Plus singles , Frontier singles (ive been listening to new songs that been released through the Uta Macross Smartphone Deculture game, “Good Job!” makes me feel just...happy? this is the only idol adjacent media i can take.)

9. Neil Cicierega Mouth Dreams album (im not rlly lemon demon fan but his Sounds albums im very much obsessed with, this one was such a hit)

10. Exist for love by AURORA (SHE DID THAT. TO US. TO EVERYONE! , PEACE AND LOVE ON EARTH FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) 

i wish everyone a happy New Years and see you in 2021 <3 (kisses to the audience)

#unit002.txt #2020 #long post

[blossom-hwa]

i read your jeongin fic last night but was too sleepy to send an ask so here i am now 😂 you really have a good hand at writing fantasy. i swear it's like your imagination has no limits 😮 have i told you i really love fantasy aus? maybe one of my favorite genres in fanfiction ever 😂 idk why but the fic made me think of howl's moving castle, like it was the vibe i was getting from it. especially during the parts wherein they held like a blue colored flame, one of the first things that came into my mind was calcifer 😂 im probably just rambling now xodnnxnd aaaa i dont know how else to say that i loved it other than keyboard smashing or rambling 🤣 okay but seriously, how do you like write? like where do you take your inspirations from and how do you bring them to life???? :OOO im genuinely curious

oh my gosh look at the butterflies... not going to lie, I'm very proud of that one so it makes me SO happy to hear that you enjoyed it this much!!!!! fantasy is one of my favorite genres to write too (and skz just seems to fit it all!! hence why half of my skz fics are fantasy nksdjgn) and I'm really glad that you got those vibes from the fic. I've never watched a ghibli movie (sue me, yes I plan to watch them this summer kjsng) but I've seen gifs and clips and read analyses and look at the butterflies was very much a story whose vibes I wanted to be similar to the feeling of peace and tranquility people say they get watching ghibli movies :) please don’t apologize for rambling I'm HERE for it I love listening to other’s thoughts on my works???? I tend to do the same thing when I talk about other’s works too kjsdngjh. 

and as for inspiration.... it’s just. I honestly don’t really know? I might see a writing prompt somewhere and an idea springs to life, or I'll see a Tumblr post that sparks inspiration (like the one I've linked in look at the butterflies - I have a platonic tbz hyunjae fic queued that was based off a Tumblr post too but I can’t find it for the life of me nksjdg). I guess I don’t really know what to say but that inspiration is everywhere, in published books or in conversations with my mutuals or YouTube videos or other fanfiction I read. also a big part of my writing comes from not finding the fics I want to read and just being like aight guess I have to write them myself cnsdkjHSDF

thank you again for always coming into my inbox with these lovely long comments, love. it truly means the world to me that you’re reading and enjoying my fics this much - it makes my day whenever I see an ask from you waiting for me :DDDDD I hope you got a good night’s sleep too!!! have a LOVELY day <3 <3 <3

#lina answers #nas #puffyjisung #look at the butterflies #also!!! one of my mutuals mai (wingkkun) wants to be friends with you >:) maybe message them if you're comfortable?????

[axemetaphor]

wwwhats up its 430am I cant sleep and I dont think I've ever done an annoying headcanon ramble for jdate on here so here we fuckin goooo I'm on mobile but I'm gonna try my damnedest to do a read more and if it doesnt work and looks stupid well sue me

amy is the one routinely awake before the other two. I dont mean shes always the first one to wake up, but her back pain is more likely to have her up in the early hours of the morning. shes also the only one who has anything thay resembles q sleeping schedule of the three as john is just like, completely fucked in that department and Dave's insomnia/depression-sleeping fucks him over sometimes. basically amy Has A Brain and also lost likely schedules it so that she can be falling asleep as her pain pills take effect.

amy also is the one who's like fairly into self care stuff like fuckinuhhh face masks and shit—look, I dont inow jackshit about self care, but I mean amy strikes me as the kind of person to actually maintain her appearance in a fairly regular manner. john will just like "forget" to take care of himself and then just Be Decadent for a week and then "forget" again (either going on a bender or just actually being normal for once) and all dave knows of self care is "when I get the urge to eat an entire pie, and give into that urge, That is self care"

anyways Partially because of that I headcanon Dave gets acne like Pretty Much All The Time and hes just kinda stopped caring about it. amy gets acne Sometimes because it just like Happens. john is that one lucky motherfucker who just is somehow naturally immune. perpetually clear skin on this man. I hate him

also dave Kind Of strikes me as the kind of guy fuckign "3 in 1" shampoo is targeted towards the man just Does Not Care. other girlfriends have tried to get him into actually using different kinds of soaps and not just defaulting to "3 in 1 wherever I think soap should go" but its amy who actually succeeds in breaking this terrible habit hes had.

also I think that Despite his hair being described as frizzy and all that, John actually takes care of his hair. except for times when hes Less Than Functional. and also yknow when the world is fuckin ending but I doubt anyone really has time for a haircare routine when they gotta be fighting monsters and shit

amy again is just a normal person about hair. but shes the only one who can actually cut hair and tbqh I think she does it Pretty Well! shes no professional but shes not john either that's for sure (if you let john close to your head with scissors, well— it's your funeral, man)

this is completely projecting and also like totally Useless but I just think it would be funny if Dave has exploding head syndrome. if you donf know what that is it's a phenomenon-or-something where right when you're dropping off to sleep your brain just liek idk gets bored I guess? and comes up with some phantom Loud Noises to startle the shit out of you. it's great! and by 'great' I mean terribly annoying! but in general I think Dave is a Very restless sleeper so him suddenly flinching himself awake isnt exactly Abnormal.

amy sleeps like a normal human being Mostly, I think she Might be one of those sorts who likes to sleep curled up in the fetal position which is so very valid. she gets night terrors sometimes though because ✨trauma✨. the best way to comfort her with that is a tight hug cause I feel like her Main fear would be that shes all alone again and a hug sure does help people feel less alone I think,

john either starfishes out when he sleeps (also I headcanon he likes to sleep at least Partially on top of Dave and Dave only pretends to hate it) or grabs hold of something and clings to it tightly. hes a very light sleeper, though, and snaps awake at any loud noise or especially if he gets bumped into too strongly. this doesn't always play well with Dave's restlessness and tendency to Sleep Fight but they manage.

I feel like its fairly common to Assume john has tattoos but specifically I feel like a lot of his tattoos are things he or his friends have drawn, I wrote about it Once Or Twice but maybe not here so I'll just like say it again, I think he asks his friends to draw shit on him then goes and gets it tattooed later (or, hell, right then and there lmao) and it's like a Mark of Friendship. he claims Dave has drawn the most on him because Dave's his best friend but whether or not that's true, who knows. the first one was from Dave, though, and john did it himself stick-and-poke style the night of. that happened while they were still in high school and Dave was actually Slightly Embarrassed because what he doodled was just like really stupid looking and fuckin hell john now you're gonna have that on you forever what the hell man? but the rest of John's tattoos, if not done by friends they're either things he drew (I maintain he still draws in his downtime I love the idea of artistically talented john so much-) or weird shit he found online.

I honestly didnt think Dave would really get tattoos because he does state hes afraid of needles BUT as someone Also afraid of needles who paradoxically wants tattoos .. he could probably power through it and get like A Few. one of them is from John (stick-and-poke style, again,) and I am Not actually sure how many hed have but definitely less than John. amy only has that one tattoo that I keep forgetting when I draw her godfuckendammit-

John is the one who makes the most Food Monstrosities (Dave barely even bothers to cook) and he does this by making just the worst decisions both technical-wise (as in, hes Definitely the "just turn the oven temperature up to speedrun cooking" kind of guy) and taste-wise. dave on the other hand is likely to make terrible drinks like jack daniels + mountain dew which my buddy Ben so fantastically dubbed "jack and piss." the sheer Concept of jack daniels + mtn dew tho is thanks to that one kurtis conner video about becoming a country boy which is entirely unrelated but everyone needs to know. ANYWAY.

john and Amy like playing pranks on each other (and dave). they're in an ongoing low-key prank war and Dave is Mostly just spectating but sometiems they Conspire to commit mischief against him. it's annoying sometimes but ultimately more endearing than it is annoying so he never gets Too mad.

john and Amy absolutely have Gaming Nights(tm) that sometimes include dave as well unless they wanna play some like fps game, I'm fairly sure hes said he doesnt really like those. but they also can get Competetive which, dave tends to act as a bit of a buffer to keep them from getting Too into it ... but sometimes he gets a little competitive too. what I'm trying to say is them playing mario kart is absolute chaos and also an event i woudl buy tickets to

john has a youtube channel for sure. he is So obnoxious. he hardly has any audience because let's be honest his videos kind of suck— they're all either kinda boring vlogs or him recording the cases he and Dave go on (when he can convince Dave to let him) which are almost always declared Fake by the commenters. amy is subscribed to him. dave probably doesnt even have/use his own YouTube channel so he was not subscribed until john stole his phone and did it for him. (he never watches the videos) the videos are not edited much, I dont think any of them really knows too much about video editing shit.

dave cant fuckin do math.

John and Dave do Not know how to handle crying. like Dave's learned what helps Amy, in specific, but anybody else? clueless. Dave also just does not cry very often in general (shut up lemme project again LMAO-) and tends to just refrain from doing it even if he wants to/probably should, rarely ever actually breaking down and letting it all out; he'll stop himself from getting there/even crying much in the first place. he doesn't exactly have a Reason for it or at least not one he can recite (it's the bullying. we dont get details of how that was beyond The Locker Room Incident which I wont go into but I'm just going to project the rest of it was similar to shit I went through, It's The Bullying). John also kinda Doesn't Cry and actually hes even more restrained about it than Dave, because he won't even cry around either of them if he can avoid it and if it happens he 1) will Not address it, 2) prefers no one else acknowledge it, and 3) will Run The Fuck Away if it's acknowledged. they both try Really Really Hard to help amy when shes crying though, if shes crying for a Big Reason, cause they both also understand she just cries easily and doesnt always need or want comfort.

that,s all for now BUT if I come up with mroe. there will be a reblog. also these are not all like "I am the only one who's ever tho ig ht this" or w/e a lot of them are from me talking with other people or Absorbing much older posts on here because I read Everuthing I can find.

I sure hope I can sleep soon, this is probably mostly incoherent. gnight

#jdate #john dies at the end #not sonic #rambles.txt #do i dare ? i do indeed csuse several dave headcanins here are projection #kin

[bang-to-the-tan]

i. im a little drunks. I apologize. here’s that yoongi fanfic holding hands that you wanted but Im too coward to give you! inspirted a lot by @honeymoonjin​-- “hello sora is drunk and she is writing” will foreve rhaunt me. Just a thing for fun im gonna go sleep now

I have the hiccups so badly i think i might die from it 

Anway

So one day you get the call from Seoul that you have to go to South Korea. Delight and amazement flourish in your chest as yo ubook your tickets and go to fly to South Korea for reasons that are probably super businesslike and important. They are. 

You enter the stage. The fans are screaming and yelling the names of the 7 gods on the stage in front of you as the lights go wild, casting colors over everybody’s faces and making the whole thing seem like scene from a dream. You wait patiently for them to finish their set, the whole time watching intently as they dance, sing and flirt with the crowd, every second spent with them like a lifetime in their arms. 

Finally, one by one, they start coming backstage, coming to (fuck my hifcups) to talk to you and talk about how well they did their set. 

“You came all the way from America?” Namjoon sounds surprised, deep dimples carving themselves into his cheeks when he smiles. “Just to see us?”

“Yeah,” you reply. “And I came because I think that one of you is my soulmate,” you add, fucking hiccuping like youre’ gonna die from it fucking why now why dies god hate me. The group is amazed and in awe of your near perfect Korean because you’ve been pracitcing and studying the language for so long. 

“Who do you think it is?” asks Jimin, who smiles in a way both flirtatious and shy. 

You dont’ answer, but your gaze is drawn by the man standing by he back of the pack, behind some fo the other members. His eyes briefly meet yours before flitting to the side and a thrill of recognition beyond anything you’ve ever experienced dashes through you. Maybe he knows, too. 

“I’m not sure,” you lie. Even though you’re standing here in front of them , you’re almost positive you know who it is. “My agency said I should find out for sure before I do anything drastic.” 

“That makes sense,” answers Jungkook, noddin.g He licks his lips, and his smile is fucking hiccups im gonna kmsi bright and shiny when he levels it your way. “ We don’t want you dong anything too drastic.” 

You nod, but your mind is already elsewhere. There has to be something else that you’re missing. It doesn’t make any sense. 

The crowd disperses. In the middle of the walkway stands Min Yoongi, his eyes dark and fixated on you. 

“You’re looking for your soulmate,” he says, his deep voice really deep and not having any hiccups in it whatsoever the perfect bastard son of a bitch. “How do you know that’s what you’re looking for?’ 

“Because,” you reply, your heart beating quickly in your throat. “Because I fet the change in me days ago. The ache in my heart, the coldness of my palms. It feels like the absence of someone important, and it only abates when I’m watching BTS videos.” 

He snorts. “I feel okay when I watch cat videos, does that mean a cat is my soulmate?” 

“It could mean,” you protest. “You don’t know anything for sure until you gtyr it.” 

Yongi hiccups please i’m dying,,my neighbors are hating me im sure of it

He goes silent for a moment. “Do you want to try it?” he asks slowly, unsure.

“Try what?”

“Try holding hands. Just for a little while. To see if it sticks, to see if it’s true.”

You hesitate, thinking of all the times you’ve thought about this exact moment. This second where you can finally hold his hand. Is it right? For you to just hold his hand like that? Like he belongs to you? You aren’t sure. But what else are you going to do? 

He extends his palm towards you. 

You reach out towards him. 

You claps his long fingers in yours, feeling the warmth of his palm, the solidness of his skin against you. For a moment, the world rushes about you, filing your lungs with perfection and letting you know that everything is in place. Even the lights dim, as if out of politeness for this moment of perfection. You feel a shiver crawl up your arm, nesting in the back of your neck and you have to shudder. 

A beat passes. 

“Did you feel anything?” Yoongi says quietly. 

Suddenly cowed, you respond quickly, too quickie. “No.” 

“Are you sure?” 

Athough you can sense that he’s giving you another chance, and you can feel how hardily you’re failing his expectations, you answer again, more firmly. “I don’t feel anything.” you lie. 

“Oh.” he sounds disappointed. 

Disappointment crawls up your neck and you have to frown now, worrying your bottom lip between your teeth. 

“But,” you add, “But we can still hold hands for as long as you...I mean, if you want.” 

Though he smothers it quickly, he lights up with a crooked smile that shows off his gums just as much as his teeth. 

“If I want, huh?” he presses.

“Yeah.”

“Then I do want, I guess,” he says, shrugging.

Similarly, you hide your own warm th and excitement at the thought of continuing to hold his hand. “Yeah, me too,” you say.  

“But I was hoping to get some coffee after the show,” he says, pointedly, abesentmindedly shaking your joined hands back and forth. (i’m still fuckig hiccuping call the er) “And i don’t know if you can manage that.” 

“I can manage anything you can manage,” you retort, haughty. His grin grows, squishing his eyes into sweet little crescents.

“Oh?” he says teasing.

“Definitely,” you reply. 

“Then prove it,” he challenges after a beat. “Spent 24 hours with me, attached at the hand, and if you can prove that you’re my soulmate, I won’t press charges.”

“And If it doesn’t work?” you ask after a moment.

“I’m getting the best lawyers money can buy and Im’ going to sue you for getting in my way,” he says easily. Even though you adore him, you can sense the amount of disdain oozing from between his lips. 

“You’re on!’ you declare. “We’ll see whose soulmate is whose.”

You dont have money. A lawsuit will ruin you. But god would it be wrth it hough. Holy shit my hiccups are gon.e

#past spexs bedtime #how the fuck do i tag this #idk im sorry #LMAO #etter than me getting drunk and imediately mountin ghte soapbox amirighte #antihistimaines kicking in now i shall go and gto tbed.

[dxlansdarling]

be there | e.d

Summary: You wanted to show your voice to the people you loved the most, but someone is missing.

Warning:  Kinda angst? But fluff at the end

Word count: 2.616

 Taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes. The microphone was in your hands, still turned off, but in a few minutes it wouldn’t be. You wanted this, you had spent the last week practicing and practicing every day for this moment. You have never sung for anyone else but yourself, and when you saw a huge paper on a music-bar, saying that they were looking for some voices; you couldn’t help but write your contact on it. This was your chance.

Knowing you were this nervous, you asked only a few people to come to see you: Grayson, your best friend, and his girl, which also happened to be your girl best friend. And of course, your beautiful boyfriend, Ethan. It was a huge surprise for him knowing that his girl could sing but never showed it, so of course he was excited to see you on the little stage. He was really tired and busy that week, but he said and promised he was going to make it.

The girl who was hosting the little show went up the stage as soon as the song that a band was playing ended. She smiled at the few people that where on the bar, and raised her microphone to her mouth so she could speak.

“So awesome!” she almost shouted, making the speaker creek because of her high sound. “It’s so sad that it’s coming to an end, but we have one more person that is going to take our breath away with her voice!”

She never heard me sing.

“Let’s welcome the beautiful and talented, Y/N!”

You took one last breath before showing yourself on the stage. You could hear some people clapping, other chattering, and suddenly, a little scream. Your cheeks instantly blushed. Grayson was hollering your name, and his girl was laughing beside him but clapping loudly. You would have smiled at them, you were really happy they were there. But when your eyes landed on the empty chair beside them, your heart stung.

He wasn’t there.

It seemed that your face showed your surprise and disappointment, because when you looked at Gray, he was looking at you too, but sadly. He shrugged his shoulders and mouthed an “I don’t know”. Swallowing your feelings as soon as you started to feel them trying to prick your eyes, you looked at the girl beside you.

“Thank you very much” you said, and clearing your throat, you showed your best smile “This song meant a lot to me when I was growing up, and as it is the first time I sing in public, I thought this was the chance to express myself with it”

You sat on the high chair that was on the middle of the stage, moving the microphone’s stick so it could be at your height while sitting. Looking at the guy that was waiting for your sign so the song could start, he nodded his head as soon as you looked at him and the song started playing.

  Me prendí fuego para despojarme (I set myself on fire to deprive myself)

Para desvestirme para desnudarme. ( To undress me, to undress me)

Me incendie toda para no quedarme (I set myself on fire so I couldn’t stay)

Ni aun ni en el viento podrás encontrarme. (Not even in the wind you will find me)

You felt betrayed. He promised he would be there. You understood the fact that he was busy and tired, but so were you every time you went with him everywhere. Recording his videos, editing them, making some videos with him and Gray; all that, knowing that sometimes there was no time to rest. You’d been dating for more than a year now, and in all that time, you have never asked for anything, because you didn’t need to. And the one time you asked him to be there for you, because you needed him to, he couldn’t do it.

  Y fui luz, fui destello (And I was light, I was flash)

Fui dolor, fui humana... (I was pain, I was human)

Cuando fuiste agua (When you were wáter)

Yo crecí en llamas (I grew up in flames)

Y cuando fuiste fuego (And when you were fire)

Me cayeron las lágrimas, lágrimas. (I cried tears, tears)

Y cuando fuiste sueño (And when you were a dream)

Yo estaba despierta (I was awake)

Y tú tan dormido (And you so asleep)

No te diste cuenta, ni cuenta. (You didn’t even notice, even notice)

  The tears were really trying to let themselves fall, but it was your first time on a stage, you didn’t want to cry, not even because of Ethan. You repeated yourself that, trying to soothe the pain inside your heart, while trying to continue with the song.

  Me prendí fuego para que me vieras ( I set myself on fire so you could see me)

Pero estabas ciego y ya no sentías (But you were blind and didn’t feel anything)

Y ahora qué quieres encontrarme toda (And now that you want to find me completely)

No hay fuego ni llama ni amor ni ceniza. (There is no fire, no flame, no love, no ashes)

  Y fui luz, fui destello (And I was light, I was flash)

Fui dolor, fui humana... (I was pain, I was human)

Cuando fuiste agua (When you were wáter)

Yo crecí en llamas (I grew up in flames)

Y cuando fuiste fuego (And when you were fire)

Me cayeron las lágrimas, lágrimas. (I cried tears, tears)

Y cuando fuiste sueño (And when you were a dream)

Yo estaba despierta (I was awake)

Y tú tan dormido (And you so asleep)

No te diste cuenta, ni cuenta. (You didn’t even notice, even notice)

  Soy el aire en ti, volando sin fin (I am the air on you, flying without end)

Soy la gota de amor volviendo a sumar (I am the drop of love added back again)

Soy tu alma sin luz que ya se olvidó (I am your sould without light that has already forgotten)

En ese corazón que ya se paró. (In that heart that has already stopped)

  You blinked so many times, you really did. You tried anything to stop the tears, but as soon as you felt the first one, then there was another, and another, and so it went. The people watching you probably thought you were emotional because of the song and the meaning it had for you, but only two of them that were looking at you intently knew the real reason behind your wet cheeks.

  Y fui luz, fui destello (And I was light, I was flash)

Fui dolor, fui humana... (I was pain, I was human)

Cuando fuiste agua (When you were water)

Yo crecí en llamas (I grew up in flames)

Y cuando fuiste fuego (And when you were fire)

Me cayeron las lágrimas, lágrimas. (I cried tears, tears)

Y cuando fuiste sueño (And when you were a dream)

Yo estaba despierta (I was awake)

Y tú tan dormido (And you so asleep)

No te diste cuenta, ni cuenta te diste. (You didn’t even notice, even notice)

  No te diste cuenta, ni cuenta. (You didn’t even notice, even notice)

No te diste cuenta, ni cuenta (You didn’t even notice, even notice)

No te diste cuenta, ni cuenta (You didn’t even notice, even notice)

No te diste cuenta, ni cuenta (You didn’t even notice, even notice)

No te diste cuenta, ni cuenta. (You didn’t even notice, even notice)

  A sob wanted to escape your mouth as soon as you stopped singing. You could hear people clapping again, others hollering, and other where whistling. You feel your heart proud of yourself, even though the pain, you felt proud of yourself. But the only person who you wanted to really be there, was somewhere else, not working because his brother was watching your perfomance, and forgot completely about your night.

You were more disappointed than proud.

 ♦

The ride back home was silent. The only noise you could hear was the beat of the song that was played on a radio station. Neither Gray nor his girl said anything about Ethan, not only because you didn’t want to ask, but because they also were pissed off with him. Gray tried to contact him all afternoon, but his brother was nowhere to be seen or known.

The car stopped in front to the twins’ house, and even when the engine stopped under you, you didn’t get off the car. You were alone at the back; you wanted to be there so you could silently cry your heart out without having someone next to you, looking at you or trying to comfort you.

You were really hurt.

Gray’s eyes met yours when both of you looked at the rear-view mirror. He sighed.

“I am going to kill him, I promise”

Smirking a little bit, you tried to joke with him.

“We will take turns.”

If Ethan didn’t die after his brother’s turn.

Closing the car’s door after you got out, you froze on your place when you heard an angry scream and a curse, followed by some orders or something like that. Grayson could hear it to, and looking sideways at you, he lunged at the door. You and his girlfriend went right behind him, trying to stop him while he was walking to his brother’s room. He was fuming and he was going to kill his brother.

Almost breaking the door, Grayson glared at his brother, who had his eyes wide opened, with one of the headphones behind his ears and the joystick in his hands. He didn’t even saw you behind Grayson, he was much bigger than you and you were easily hidden behind his back.

“Grayson, what the--? What’s wrong?”

Oh no.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Ethan?! ‘What’s wrong’?!” he exploded, walking to Ethan who instantly let his headphones fall as soon as he stood up from his computer chair “Where the fuck were you all this time?”

Ethan furrowed his eyebrows.

“I was here playing some games, we didn’t have to work today, did we?” he asked confused, still not looking at your direction. Grayson’s girlfriend almost slapped her forehead with her palm after hearing Ethan’s question. “Did something happen?”

If you didn’t speak, Grayson was going to murder him. So clearing your throat, you make yourself notice.

“You didn’t come, Ethan.”

His hazel eyes landed on you the moment he heard your voice, and you could see the worry on his stare as soon as he noticed your tear stained cheeks. He looked confused too, still not comprehending the situation.

“What do you mean? What did I miss?”

Before you could answer, Grayson shoved his phone onto his brother’s chest. Ethan looked down, and when the video his brother opened on his phone started playing, he was speechless. As he listened to you singing that beautiful song, his heart stung with guilt and regret. You sang beautifully, but his heart completely broke when he saw the tears falling of your eyes when you were on the stage. And he knew, he knew he fucked up so bad.

When the video finished, the room fell silent. You didn’t want to speak, you thought that if you tried to, only mumbles and incoherent words would come out. That’s how you were; shy and awkward when it comes to trying to not to break in front of someone. So instead of saying something, you excused yourself and walked as fast as possible to the nearest bathroom, where you locked yourself, and finally, let the sob you were trying to hold since the second you noticed Ethan’s absence at the bar.

You felt stupid for crying. It was supposed to be the best night ever, where you should be proud instead of sad and disappointed, which made things worse, because it angered you that your night ended like shit. If it wasn’t because you were trying to be so loud with your crying, the slam of a door would have scared you. That was probably Grayson going to his room, and you confirmed it when you heard Gray’s girl say some loud stuff to Ethan before slamming the door again.

It wasn’t until some seconds later, or probably a minute, that you heard some heavy footsteps walk up to the other side of the door.

“Y/N? Baby?” you heard Ethan’s soft voice call “Can-Can you please open? I want to apologize, like, so bad. I-I have no excuses, I know, but-please, can you unlock the door?”

A part of you didn’t want to open the door. You still needed to calm or soothe the pain in your heart, and you had a little bit of pride when it came to betrayal. But it was your silly and cute boyfriend the one who was begging you not only to open the door, but to forgive him. Yes, you were still pretty mad, but he did have his right to explain himself or at least make a good apologize speech before you break his nose with a slam of the door.

Unlocking the door, you sighed before opening it. You had to look up to stare directly at his eyes, the height difference between you two was huge. He still had his brother’s phone in his hands, but his hazel eyes were on you, and when he opened his mouth to say something, he closed his eyes.

“You have no idea how fucking sorry I am. I-I don’t know what happened to me, I don’t know how I could forget a date so important to you. I just don’t know. But what I know is that you’re amazing, you’re so beautiful and so talented. And meanwhile, I’m a jerk that doesn’t deserves to be listened to right now but that needs to tell you how sorry he is and how much he loves you. With all his heart. And I’m really proud of you, baby, you fucking slayed up there.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the end of his speech, tilting your head backwards and shaking it while still laughing. He was good with words, not with dates, but he really mended all the pain with some words. And that was one of the many reasons you were in love with Ethan Dolan.

When he regretted something, he knew exactly what to say to make you believe he was sorry.

Your eyes landed on him again, and then on his hands that were playing with the corner of the phone’s case. That was his nervous habit, which made you smile a little bit, and looking at his eyes again, you sighed.

“I’m going to draw you a fucking calendar next time, okay?”

Ethan smiled.

“Big on my room’s wall please.”

Laughing again, you threw yourself into your boyfriend’s arms, that hugged you tightly and warmly against his chest. You felt his lips kiss the top of your head, and his chin rest on top of it after that. 

“I love you, baby, and I love your voice.”

Smiling against the soft material of his hoodie, you smelled his scent.

“I love you too, assclown.”

Not only he was good with his words, but also he was good when it comes to make ups. Because the next day, as soon as you woke up and walked to the kitchen to get your morning coffee, you felt you heart beat so fast at the sight of a little stage made up with some boxes and chairs, meanwhile Ethan was sitting with his legs crossed on the floor, with Grayson and his girl beside him.

He was there.

first imagine here♥ i really hope you like it!

#ethan dolan #imagine #dolantwins #dolan twins #ethan #dolan #grayson #grayson dolan #graysondolan #singing #angst #cute ending #cute ethan #fuming grayson #first imagine

[angrykpoprants]

I do not hate BTS, I have been with them since pre-debut. I even bought the 4 versions of Map the Soul: Persona. I really wouldn’t want to spend my money on a group I dont care for. 

I know I said I wouldn't talk about Seungri until the final verdict, because again… they still can’t find any evidence worthy of conviction just yet. However, it seems like there is a majority of commenters about Seungri being misogynistic and sexist, etc are from the army fandom. Most VIPs know about the questionable comments he would make, heck there was that one Japanese sex scandal that he was in… which he admitted to. Also, a lot of VIPs already know that Seungri is a womanizer.  

BTS is not saints either, go look at their old stuff, you like to run around and say Seungri will never change because people truly don’t change… yet you’ll use that excuse that about BTS. The MV for boy in luv and WOH was honestly a bit rough if you really want to look at it. Not to mention some of the lyrics can be quite questionable. Boy in Luv is borderline on the aggressive side and a bit stalker-ish, the music video they basically gang up on the girl until she falls in love with them. In WOH “Girls wear things that make me cough cough, see right through, see right through (Very much) thank you! For improving my eye sight (Natural LASIK) Don’t need to spend money on that” “Girls are like an equation, us guys just do them (yup)” “I don’t care about girls I’ll play with once and say goodbye” Are these lyrics not questionable to you? Im not trying to reach for things as I care about both Bigbang and BTS. All I’m trying to do is to get you to stop prancing around like BTS is the saint group… this also apples to all other Kpop fandoms, not just army but everywhere that I’m looking I’m only seeing the majority army commenting about Seungri, if anything that group would be B.A.P, surviving seven years with only 3-4 scandals, them wanting to sue TS, Himchan’s sexual assault allegations which never fully went through, and Zelo trashing TS on stage and saying that he’s no longer in the company, and everyone else leaving TS.

Even at that theres RM’s cover of expensive woman… which, is quite vulgar. Need I remind you that BTS already got into scandals since the year of their debut, consisting of being mysogynistic and racist? They have made some questionable comments about women in their songs and on TV yet, basically the same as the vulgar texts in the group chats. They have said the n-word multiple times even though international fans have expressed distaste since the first time it was said. There was also that comment RM made back during TRB EP.II where RM said that V and J Hope were too black so he couldn’t see them at night, the majority of the fandom expressed distaste and there was even petitions to get RM to apologize which he has never done. There was even that recent controversy with the anti-Semitic-esque performance and costumes, and Jimin’s atomic bomb t-shirt which he wore on his own time, there was no stylist to choose the shirt for him.

I am not comparing Seungri’s scandal to BTS’s, if you actually read about the entire thing and the history of this scandal you know know that Seungri’s part is only -10% of the whole thing. All I’m saying is to not go around prancing like BTS is scandal free and has never done or said anything about women that can be interpreted as sexist/misogynistic. Again, this whole thing is a shock to most VIPs, I don’t agree with the VIPs that are blindly supporting him though. Because as I say… and this applies to BTS too, you never truly know who they really are when the cameras are off and the doors are closed, no matter how many times you go to an idols concert, watch them on V Live, watch videos of them, watch them on variety shows, interviews, or even have met them etc… they are all entertainers and in the Kpop world they are taught to only show the good side of them, it doesn’t matter to the company if its a fake persona or not, as long as they look good and they make their company look good to the public eye. They only show you want they want to show you, even at that, the company will even edit out bits from DVD in order to make their idol look good.

You don’t know who your idol truly is. thats it. Period.

And I want to say that this post was not trying to attack armys because I know that there are good armys out there. There is good and bad in every fandom. Im just going off of what I’ve been seeing lately.

#bigbang #seungri #seungri scandal #bts

[turningloseturninglose]

I posted 649 times in 2021

5 posts created (1%)

644 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 128.8 posts.

I added 116 tags in 2021

#rott - 24 posts

#opening night - 22 posts

#ml - 16 posts

#dt - 11 posts

#text - 10 posts

#comic - 10 posts

#video - 8 posts

#atla - 6 posts

#th - 5 posts

#art - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 51 characters

#i dont like not knowing what came of the characters

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

i love rott

sue me

i didnt hate the ending. but sombody else said that it was only unsatisfying because we didnt see an end. i dont know what its like in the future

do they end up back in that moment?

does toby make the same mistakes?

do they even meet douxie?

i didnt get to see everything else, but other than that (and the whole freaking steve plotline please erase that from my brain) i think the movie was amazing

i only cried this much over characters in endgame so id say they did amazing

0 notes • Posted 2021-07-21 14:36:44 GMT

#4

3 of my fandoms are trending right what is happening

0 notes • Posted 2021-04-28 01:07:09 GMT

#3

oh my gosh. it's not political at all... it's a children's cartoon. it's a series finale. the whole episode was meant to point back to the main character. chill out. not everything is political

0 notes • Posted 2021-03-15 16:44:41 GMT

#2

IM CALLING IT NOW!!!!

IN THE 100TH EPISODE THEY CANT GET CHAT NOIR BECAUSE ADRIEN IS AKUMATIZED

WATCH IT HAPPEN

1 notes • Posted 2021-10-20 15:08:27 GMT

#1

DID NOMORA JUST DIE

2 notes • Posted 2021-07-21 08:37:15 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[thefatdrunkdragon]

The Worst RPer I have ever met (Nemo Saga Chapter 6)

 Okay, so here we go with another standalone Nemo chapter that discusses the one thing about Nemo. His fucking temper.

 As demonstrated in the Spooky RP, Nemo has a short temper when it comes to people actually messing with him or belittleling him. Now, it’s understandable that in RP’s you can sorta make a character based on people you don’t like and have em be killed off or defeated. I havent had much RPs about those but Nemo’s case is that he resolves everything with vauge threats and murder.

 For example, before the Spooky RP, Nemo first met the Dragon Cafe Crew.

 The Dragon Cafe Crew is composed of the following:

Rubelle “Ruby” Black - The Chubby Dragoness

Calvin “Cook” O’Hara - The Alcoholic native of Philly

Jill Xhiao - The Shy Panda woman.

Oswald “Ozzie” Hempshey - A fat East End Drake

And Dexter “Dex” O’finnigan - The Irish Yang to Ozzie’s Cockney Yin.

 Out of all of those, It was Ozzie and Dex who didn’t come to immidietly like Nemo. And in character, they like to mess around with other people. So let’s say that Ozzie and Dex make some dumb jokes about the Vampires or admit that “We ain’t really friends.” What does Nemo do? He brutally murders Ozzie and Dex. But has them revived. If this were a moment in an RP with a good friend of mine, this scene would not be as brutal and would be played off for poorly done dark comedy. But Nemo was very serious about it. He really REALLY hated Ozzie and Dex simply because they didn’t wanted to be his friends right away. It get’s better.

 Another example comes when a Zombie Virus is loose in Puerto Rico. Aiden thankfully survived in a farmland, enjoy the spoils of the apocalypse and the catharsis it brings. God-Nemo, offended that Aiden can rebel in a bit of normal power fantasy in a role play, calls him an evil man who doesn’t want anything to change so he decides to leave Aiden to his lonesome... with a fucking bomb that is suppose to kill him. I playfully have Aiden Brush off his death as cartoonish as possible, but Neem’s says “no no, let him die.” And I’m like “Excuse me bitch? I couldn’t kill YOUR characters but now you want me to let you kill mine because he thinks differently than you? FUCK YOU!”

 It was after those two events that Nemo realized he shouldnt be having his marty stu kill me for not agreeing with him, he decides that he needed to add excuses for why he was killing me. And I mean excuse that would justify why he would kill my characters. And those excuses came in the form of either Demons or Rabies, and no matter what happens, there is no signs of that behavior until AFTER killing my characters.

 While it wasn’t murder, there was an obvious threat of murder for this next example. Nemo kept bringing up a Mercy Brown Video Game (Which Only Exist to him) and he made moments where he tried to act like he was some Big shot letsplayer and blahblahblah. I have never heard of this game but Only had small understanding of what it was about, so I decided that, since I was into Zero Punctuation at the time, to make a sort of faux Ben Yatzee Review of a game. I didn’t do the whole thing because Its a fake game within an RP but the first few minutes was just me channeling my inner yatzee.

The small thing I wrote as Ben Yatzee:

Ben Yatzee: i hardly do reviews about indie horror, my last one being too scary to even continue. But when you have a cult of people simply worshipping an unknown horror game for being a bloody masterpiece, you end up witth your entire fanbase asking you to review. While i really dont take request, the number of people desperate for my thoughts on the game is just staggering so here we go...

Ben: Mercy's Autumn Nights is an indie horror game created by who else? Mercy brown. The title should be so completly obvious that she made the game as its not enough for her to simply put her name in the credits, you need to make it pretty bloody clear she made it.You play as, big surprise, Mercy blooming Brown as she tries to escape an angry mob thats chasing her down. Why? I dont fucking know?! Maybe mercy brown, being the obvious killer vampire, killed some people and she just not doing a good job at hiding it. Or maybe she hasnt showered in a while and the villagers are just getting sick and tired of smelling her greasy hair...

*ben continues to critize the games story and the use of mortal things when the character plays as mercy, complements the graphics and the controls.*

Ben: in conclusion, the next time someone sends me a request, my answer will simply just be "Mercy Bloody Brown!" Why? I dont care, its there. Have a nice day, internet.

 Nemo took the Review as an offense and tried to get in contact with ben yatzee because they talked to each other once for a while like a year. Neem’s words, not mine. And this is ignoring the fact Yatzee has Social Anxiety. Ben tried to explain to Nemo that his video is only there as a means to both critique the game and be a comedy but Neemo kept trying to convince Yatzee it was a good game and that he was a good youtuber, ignoring the fact Ben reviewed the game not the Youtuber. But it was after being presented with Mercy Brown and the grave and how annoying he was, Ben basically shut him off, the video still remained though so no one won.

Mercy’s response:

Mercy: That takes care of it. See ya.

 I told nemo that it didn’t really change anything and that the thing was just a video talking about the game, not him.

Neem’s Response

Nemo: I see. But if we see another negative video about us, you know what we'll do to him. He'll never know.

 Like I said, It may not be a violent moment, but he generally demonstrates the same kind of mentality the secret police has. Censoring any form of criticism and killing off those who don’t like him

I already presented one example in the spooky rp but there is also another major example with this small rp moment. It was during the mercy saga, and it was a moment where "our dear friend and vintage American sweetheart Mercy Brown” contracted a disease just to get us to feel bad for her and give her some attention. Aiden and Ruby, not wishing to risk getting the mary sue sickness, decide to come in Hazmat suits. It’s as exaggerating as it sounds and for the time, it was just played for giggles. But later that day, she got better and Aiden und ruby had nothing to do, so they decided to call a helicopter to pick em up. This big fucking osprey shows up, lands on the garden but no one takes off because it turns out, one of the guys in the osprey, Dave, was getting married and everyone took the opportunity to celebrate it... while still in the osprey and still on Nemo’s Lawn.

Nemo, understandibly tried to get everyone out of the lawn but they ofcourse couldnt listen due to the fucking loud music inside it. He later got a megaphone, letting the message get through to them and forcing em to take off. It was there were a drunken Dave decided to just walk out on the osprey doors and flip nemo the bird, sealing everyone’s fate with that gesture.

Nemo’s Words after the vtol flew off:

Nemo: Yeah. That'll teach you how to disturb some neighbors, you mind-fucked bitch.

 Nemo went flying in the air (Somehow) and gun down the entire vtol. Killing or injuring everyone, and leaving Ruby and Adrian in a catatonic state. He later flew back and acted as if nothing happened. Before that, he made a comment that was suppose to sound like the kind of snide remark of “Oh, I wonder how that horrible accident happened” kinda  That is until Kate shows what happened , and this was the one time posession was actually close to making sense but since the RP always had Nemo act like a normal person and showed very little signs of posession, making this the only time he actually had it plan off.

Nemo’s word’s after being shown what happened?

Nemo: *whispers and closes the door* Oh my God. What did I do? What did I do? *drinks a can of A&W Root Beer* I'm getting crazy. I need blood. *licks his own lips and chewed his own lips. He grabs a meat and eats it and there was blood spilling on the floor* Master Velora. You promised me eternal life! And you did.

 Funfact: Before Velora became a Valentine Girl and was part of a trio of marceline clones, she was supposed to be evil.

 Pretty soon, Nemo suddenly had demonic powers and ordered his vampire clan to make the world a supernatural place for vampires and werewolves, and he will assend to become a Vampire God. Starting a fucking apocalypse and building a castle for him in Rhode Island.

 When Kate, freaking out over what the fuck was going on, Nemo tried to be as hidden and “evil” as possible while signs were made quite fucking obvious he was starting a vampire apocalypse. But then when asked why the fuck he started fucking armageddon, here’s his response:

Nemo: No. Not ending the world. It's my parents. My parents should pay for what kind of stuff they did to me. Sending me to dangerous places and tormenting me. They have gone too far.

... At no point has Nemo’s folks EVER appeared in the RP. And Let’s not forget, He was fucking 19 at the time, so...

 The apocalypse breaks out and the world seems like it was going to be in for one dicking of a terrible time. But we got to remember an important Detail: This is Nemo’s world. 

How it really happened:

*Then Nemo was almost killed. But then he was fighting against a Wendigo. A Native American cannibal creature. People were watching Nemo and the Wendigo have a brutal fight in Providence, Rhode Island. He grabbed his medieval sword and stabbed at the creature and killed him. The Wendigo was killed and everybody was saved. Nemo thought it was himself, but it was a Wendigo. So Mercy had to send him to a church in Exeter, Mercy and the priest got rid of the spell that cursed him for so long. Nemo was finally saved and happy. He can now live however he wants. Even Kate was happy that he is now saved. His friends and family was happy that he's not possessed anymore. So in December, in Mercy's house, the presents are under the Christmas tree and everybody was having a good time. Nemo was waiting for all his friends to come.*

Well THAT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE!

After the battle:

Nemo: I hope nothing possesses me again.

Mercy: God will always be there for you.

Nemo: I know.

....

This was the stupidest thing to have ever happened in RP history and I just needed to share it with you all because this was fucking insanity

The point is: Nemo is a violent dick. Anything that doesn’t apppease his ego simply results in a death setence and later revival so that you can apologize to him and kiss his ass. And to be fair... it’s fucking scary. And it’s only made worse with the following subject: The Line between reality and fantasy.

[wildflowe-s-blog]

ask game

Tagged by @allenting :D

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people Tagging: @freetimefase @jeemyjamz @amab1060 @beanie-betty and idk who else heh Last Drink - water Phone call - it was a video call w my mom ! Text message - w my friend talking about playlists ?? 5sos ??  Song you listened to - currently listening to sober - bazzi Time you cried -yesterdaY LOL i got in a fight w my grandma Dated someone twice - nah Kissed someone and regretted it - no and yes Been cheated on - no Lost someone special - no

Been depressed - i have my highs and lows yes but i dont think i would consider it as depression, probably when i was fiften/sixteen yes

Gotten drunk and thrown up - LMAO YES I THREW UP IN A GIRL’S LIVING ROOM ON HER CARPET

Fave colours - i really like pastels but also dark reds and YELLOW!!!! also military green

The last year, have you… Made new friends - yes Fallen out of love - nope Laughed until you cried - def Found out someone was talking about you - i dont care enough to know Met someone who changed you - yes Found out who your friends are - yes Kissed someone on your facebook friend’s list - nah fam General How many of your facebook friends do you know irl - a good 70% probably i’d delete all of them thought (except friends and family) and start over tbh Do you have any pets - my pup that’s and oldie but she a goodie Do you want to change your name - no, She’s unique What did you do for your last birthday - it was kinda emo bc i wasn’t with my parent’s for the first time but i went out to eat and made the best of the situation that day even tho it could’ve reallllly sucked  What time did you wake up today - i woke up at 9:30 but went back to sleep and woke up again at 10:30ish What were you doing at midnight last night - .......watching 5sos videos.............judge me What is something you can’t wait for - THE MARCH FOR OUR LIVES PROTEST ON MARCH 24TH WOOOOOOO What are you listening to right now - want you back by 5sos go lisTen to it issa bop Have you ever talked to a person named Tom - yeah Something that’s getting on your nerves - (not being able to drive by myself yet but it’s fine on march 15th i will be able to im waiting patiently) Most visited website - youtube Hair colour - light brown but i have some blonde as well Long or short hair - medium length i dont like it too long ! Do you have a crush on someone - nO  What do you like about yourself - my passion for things that are important to me, my laugh, my smile, my body!!!!! esp my legs, my hands? strange but yes, and etc  Want any piercings - probably on my ears a few more yes Blood type - IDK OMG Nickname - pauli, pau, mp  Relationship status - singleeee Zodiac - long story short i always thought i was an aries but last year i found out im actually a TAURUS, SO, LOL Pronouns - she/her Fave tv shows - riverdale, grownish, the bachelor (sue me), this is us Tattoos - none but i do want one  Right or left handed - lefty Ever had surgery - nope! Piercings - yes Sport - nothing but im going to start Vacation - i love travelling or just being w friends and going on picnics, camping, watching sunsets, finding new places to eat Trainers - ??? idc

More General Eating -  love. eating. so. much.  Drinking - water, iced tea, or lemonade I’m about to watch - who knows Waiting for - payday, unfortunatelt Want - travel with the people i love !  Get married - yes! Career - im studying communications and idk what i want specifically, but im narrowing it down everyday lol

Which is better? Hugs or kisses - kisses heh Lips or eyes - Eyes. Shorter or taller - l am v tall so i prefer taller or at least my height Older or younger - idc Nice arms or stomach - arms  Hookup or relationship - relationship Troublemaker or hesitant - im impulsive but not a troublemaker

Have you ever Kissed a stranger - yes  Drank hard liquor - yes Lost glasses - nope Turned someone down - yes Sex on the first date - no Broken someone’s heart - no Had your heart broken - nope Been arrested - no Cried when someone died - yes fallen for a friend - nope

do you bellieve in yourself - Yes!!!! miracles - yeah love at first sight - maybe santa claus - im still 5 what do u think Kiss on a first date - yes Angles - idk what this means uh

Other Best friend’s name - alejandra and romina !  eye colour - brownish fave movie - friends with benefits, the greatest showman, the lizzie mcguire movie, princess diaries 1 & 2 fave actor - cole sprouse TBH

#tag game

[raeyvies]

RFA + Saeran w/ an MC whose background/past image puts her in a problematic situation in the future

@juminsmcmysticmessenger asked: “maybe one with a lot of Angst! Ofc if you want! A mc who gets bullied because of her image? Via internet, people outside and at work?” 

I kind of broadened your request to give myself some more creative freedom. I felt that bullying kind of didn’t allow me to have variety from one character to the next so I hope you dont mind! You asked for angst and that’s exactly what I’m giving you :D You’ll notice that it just gets more angsty after each character ^^

Again, it’s a long headcanon (b/c personally I prefer long ones)

Yoosung

You never told Yoosung that you also once upon a time attended Sky University before him

You always hated to admit that you were that one perfect student in all the dramas on TV.

You were in your third year of your computer science major when it happened

A family incident occurred and you no longer had the drive to study

You disappeared from all your competitions that fall semester and never showed up back on campus.

The next thing everyone knew was that you had officially withdrawn from the University

Overall, there was resentment and animosity directed toward you then and now

That day you visited yoosung for lunch

Some girls who recognized you  followed you back to the parking garage and cornered you when you were going to leave

They didn’t get physical but they threatened you

“Does Yoosung know who you really are? Huh?”

“You know we lost everything because you never showed up to the competitions”

“We were almost kicked out of our majors because you!”

You just wanted to get in your car and leave.

They threatened to get Yoosung kicked out of the university in revenge against you. And they threatened to reveal who you were to the entire school

After all, you were the school’s greatest embarrassment

One of the girls had connections so the threat was not an empty one.

Yoosung insisted on you having lunch with him everyday and you reluctantly went

But the threats haunted you every time you came to campus

Each visit, Yoosung noticed that you were more anxious than before

“Jagi, what’s wrong? Is something bothering you?”

You shrugged it off as just something from work that was bugging you.

But you couldn’t hide it because the next day that you visited, those girls who threatened you approached you while you were having lunch with yoosung

“We told you not to come back. All I have to do is call my dad and I’ll have Yoosung kicked out too”

Yoosung was so confused but he was quick to defend you although he didn’t know the context behind the threats.

And then a broadcast appeared on all the TV screens

Your face was everywhere now. You were reliving your worst moments in front of Yoosung

Yoosung was wide eyed and he looked at you in disbelief. Somewhat hurt too that you never told him about this

You were drowned in shame and couldn’t face Yoosung

The last thing you said was “It’s not a crime to abandon my school. But I deserve this punishment…for not being there for my parents when they died while I competed.”

Pulling your hoodie over your head and covering up you ran away from campus all the way to the park you and Yoosung frequent.

Meanwhile at the University, Yoosung was dealing with things

He was utterly disgusted at the girls who would do that to you.

Disgusted that they couldn’t let go of the past.

If it weren’t for the fact that they were girls, Yoosung would have actually hurt them badly.

He basically towered over the girls and breathed down on the one girl who claimed her dad could get him kicked out

“Tell your dad he doesn’t need to kick me out. I’ll drop out myself. I don’t want to be a part of this kind of school”

Then he chased after you and comforted you once he found you by the river.

You let it all out. All the built up rage, guilt, and anguish.

And yoosung held you in his arms until you finally felt free of your burden.

A week later Yoosung told you he dropped out too much to your dismay

He didn’t want to go to a school all they didn’t care about emotions and expected everyone to be robots

Jumin

You never imagined that your school days would catch up to you.

You committed some awful mistakes but you assumed your errors would stay in the past.

You never told Jumin that you were a bully back in high school.

You were the kind of bully that insisted on making every day a hell for somebody. 

So much so that you almost drove a girl to suicide. After that, you left behind your violent days.

You transferred schools and lived life quietly.

And 10 years later, here you were at Jumin’s side as his wife and economic advisor. You completely changed from who you were

It ran all too smoothly until now

The girl who was driven to almost suicide grew up to be a famous reporter

That girl hadn’t seen you since you transferred schools

She was in charge of covering a story about C&R which in truth, was a great report.

However, she took the opportunity to add on some information about you in the report

But then she claimed on public television that you were a fraud. That you nothing more than a gold digger and power hungry

You were watching it while you were in the lounge resting

Your heart was racing and your eyes began to water but when you heard the lounge door open you quickly wiped your eyes and acted as though nothing happened.

It was Jumin and he had also watched the report.

He embraced you so tightly assuring you that nothing will happen to you

He had been through so many scandals already he was sure that he would get through this one with you easily.

He thought wrong.

At home, you and Jumin were on social media like usual every night.

But on every single site, you and that girl were trending.

She even tweeted out photos of newspaper articles of the incident revolving around you and her suicide attempt

Your past was catching up to you and many of that girl’s followers sent awful messages

Jumin hadn’t seen what was trending yet as he was in the bathroom

Meanwhile you were in the beginnings of a breakdown.

Reading messages saying the Jumin should divorce you, you became anxious.

Your were shaking and cried out at you threw your phone

it ended up hitting the fish tank and cracking the glass.

Jumin freaked out and ran out of the bathroom at the sound of smashed glass

Then he noticed you crying on the bed

You told him to open up twitter and see what was trending

He was about to call his lawyer to sue the girl for defamation and well anything else he could

“No I’ll take care of it by myself. This is a personal matter and I’d like to get this cleared up as quietly as possible”

Jumin got you a new phone and everyday you kept up with the hate messages

They got worse every single day and you became a crying mess in the shower every night.

Jumin kept telling you to ignore it but he never told you to suppress your emotions

Jumin would accompany you even though he got soaked each time.

Gradually you were falling into anxiety and maybe mild depression after two weeks

He asked again if you were sure that you didn’t want him to file a lawsuit but you denied.

He gave you strength to face every day and the hate messages that filled your inbox.

You messaged the reporter girl and asked her to please be the better woman here.

The bullying didn’t stop though and you blew up

You cursed at her through messages. You used the most profane language that you’ve ever used in your life.

And that’s where things escalated out of control. It now became the company’s duty to cover up this scandal.

Jumin had to take over and filed a lawsuit that of course he won

You were unable to attend any of the court hearings because psychologically you were a mess

And damage had already been done to the company’s reputation

After the storms rage ended, Jumin took time off from work despite protests

A lot of workers under Jumin wanted you to be fired but one look at the Ceo-in-line and they kept their thoughts to themselves

Jumin knew you had gone through something way too rough and he made sure absolutely no one came to harm you

Zen

It all happened so out of the blue

Old neighbors from where you lived as a teenager created a video on youtube that ranted to everyone how you grew up to be such a snob by dating Zen.

It went viral

You never told anyone in the RFA that you were from a very very low income neighborhood

You thought that it wasn’t something relevant anymore

You really tried to progress and successfully did so

You proved that your background had done nothing but motivate you

But your old neighbors clearly didn’t know you studied abroad to move up in social status

They kept claiming that you were only with Zen so that you could leave poverty and the ghetto

You didn’t just spend 4 years in Japan to let your efforts get overshadowed by your previous social status

You took it fairly lightly and told Zen about the video

“Those assholes are gonna know what’s good for the God dammit. Tell me where they live, MC”. Zen was furious

Even though he didn’t know who you were in the past, he didn’t care for it at all because you made a new image for yourself

You’re a coordinator for the RFA

You’re a translator for a famous publisher

You tell him you’re fine

The days afterward were when the nasty comments started to appear.

The comments were directed both at you and Zen

The ones directed at you were harsher than Zen’s

You were tough and didn’t let the comments bother you

You’ve already learned that you don’t need to justify yourself for something you know isn’t true

it was the fact that Zen was receiving hate and bad news coverage that got to you

You felt so guilty

Paparazzi followed you more closely asking bizarre questions

They were invading your life so much that Zen had to take it upon himself to protect you from the public eye

When the paparazzi swarmed your home (you lived with zen), he would make sure that no one got close to you

But one day it was just too much for Zen and he hurt one of the paparazzi.

His agency had to make a public statement about Zen’s behavior

Basically your image turned into that of a bad influence on Zen.

The only places you were safe from any harassment was your home.

You rationally kept thinking of ways to fix all this

And you know that was a lie.

This whole situation kept chewing at you even at night.

In your sleep you weeped and it broke his heart. Zen wanted to take some blame but you never let him.

You only told him that comforting you was the best thing he could do.

And one day, verbal bullying from the public turned physical.

Cameras swarmed you and they pushed you against your car. There was so much going on that even your head got hit by a camera since they had no sense of personal space

You were actually hurt from what they did to you but luckily a fellow colleague defended you and made the paparazzi go away.

It wasn’t until you got home that blood started trickling down from your head and down your cheek. It was from an open wound when you were hit by a camera

That night he cleaned you up and well stayed with you when you took a bath. He wanted to be with you and comfort you every moment he could.

You admit, that even his company while you bathed was the best thing that happened to you that day

HE told you that things will get better for the both you you. He embraced you so lovingly and protectively

And well things led to the next and you two had a really heated make out session in the bathroom

The next day, Zen holds a press conference to express his disappointment in his fan base and the public

You were watching him from the sidelines until you took it upon yourself to speak at the microphone

You explained your background and how you studied abroad and moved up socially by yourself.

You reiterate that you’re with Zen because you love him and not for money or fame.

And since that day, the hate did die down. Of course there were some stragglers who still tried to instigate controversy on social media but it failed.

Warning after this point: drug use, sexual harassment, physical abuse, and implied rape. 

(The head canons get longer too after this point. Enjoy!)

Seven

Seven met you when you were in your darkest moments

You struggled with your parents deaths, your sister being murdered in front of you eyes, dropping out of high school, and ultimately, you falling into drug abuse.

The stars were always aligned against you

You were barely living on a day to day basis with your crummy salary

And on top of it, after paying necessary expenses, you bought drugs underground for cheap.

One day, there was a major drug bust and you were caught up in the mess. You managed to escape but only because you bumped into Seven.

You begged him to help you not get caught by the police despite your photo on a wanted list

Keep in mind, you met Seven when he was also struggling with his depression

He felt empathy for you and took you in to live with him at his bunker

You struggled with withdrawal symptoms and Seven helped you through it all.

He took care of you when you were nauseated and vomited, later collapsing in his bathroom because your body was really fighting withdrawal

Months passed and you two grew closer. You got to know his life story and you felt comfortable enough to tell him yours

And well a relationship was built from each other’s mutual darkness.

A year later, you both had overcome your struggles together and you had enough courage to ask Seven if he could clear your criminal record.

It was a selfish thing to ask but you knew he could do it.

But it risked his job

He loved you so much so he did it and cleaned your record

You just didn’t know how to repay him but all he said was that if you stayed with him, it would be enough

With a cleared record you were able to get your GED, attend medical school and five years later you became a general surgeon

Life was as amazing as it could be. You married Seven who now went by Saeyoung

You became one of the best surgeons at your hospital and Saeyoung had been promoted in his agency as a director

On your anniversary, you convinced Saeyoung to stop working at his computer and take a shower so that you could go out to celebrate

He left his computer open while he cleaned up and you read the email that was open

You gasped and covered your mouth as your eyes read every single word

It was a final notice saying that Saeyoung would be removed from his position because he was caught for having cleared your record

He already had charges against him for housing a felon.

They found your record in the end

You never knew your past would catch up to you and that Saeyoung would be the one paying the price

Next thing you know, there’s banging at the door and you hear multiple people yelling out “Director Choi!!”

You felt your body go cold and you slowly walked to the entrance but Saeyoung beat you to it.

His hair was still wet from showering and he punched in the code to open the door

As soon as it opens, the group of people grab him and handcuff him but you pull their hands off of Saeyoung.

You fall to your knees and beg for them to leave him alone.

“No please! He only did it because I asked so I’ll pay for my crimes instead! Please don’t ruin him, he doesn’t deserve it.”

Instead the group of men took you and Saeyoung to deal with this matter

In the end, Saeyoung was freed of all charges

You were charged with illegal drug abuse and distribution of the illicit drug.

You were found guilty of all charges but were let off on a six month probation considering that your record was especially clean prior to your crime.

You hoped life would remain normal.

But then you were fired from the hospital and that was your breaking point

Your employer found out about your record and did not cater to the idea of having a surgeon with a previous drug abuse record.

Since the day you were fired you held the pain in and never told Saeyoung.

You searched and applied for new jobs and returned at night without mentioning it at all

You never did find a job again because of your criminal record

But Saeyoung noticed when he had a day off and hoped to visit you at the hospital

He found out you had been fired 4 months ago.

Then his heart broke.

What had you been doing all this time?

Since it was late he knew you were home and ran back there.

When he came home, he found you in a corner in your bedroom.

And there was a small packet of  oxycodone in powder in front of you.

You were staring at the packet wondering if you should take it

But Saeyoung broke through your thoughts as he fell to his knees and embraced you so tight

“Don’t think about it, MC. You’re stronger than this.”

He took the packet and hid it in his pocket to throw away later.

“Saeyoung… I-I was fired. No one wants to hire a surgeon with a drug record…”

“No its not like that. You’ll get back on your feet. I’ll help you, I promise!”

You voice was so broken and you sounded monotone, and so void of life

“All they see is my record… I might as well be what they think I am, right?”

This time Saeyoung was the one who broke into tears and you followed right after, letting out everything you’ve held in

It hurt to know that everything you built up for so long crumbled so fast

“Stop crying, Saeyoung! I set myself up for this when I first started taking drugs anyway. It’s not your fault…”

Later that night you still had an urge to take the drug and desperately looked for it but Saeyoung had already thrown it out

He saw you looking for it and he was worried that you would relapse. 

And you ended up relapsing, but he still stayed with you and helped you rehabilitate

Just like when he first met you.

V/Jihyun:

V already knew you had an embarrassing image that you wanted to burn and keep in the past.

It was around a year after you two had become a couple that you showed him photos of a younger you modeling for erotic magazines

It was something you wanted to forget about but after all it is what got you through college.

You made some great money off and you never had a debt to pay after graduating college.

It was a small price in the short run that benefited you in the long run because now you’re a successful graphic designer (and V’s model ;D)

V sometimes wonders if you still feel exposed to hundreds of men and women who read this magazines

Since that day, he never pressured you and treated you delicately. He can’t imagine what it must have felt like to be so young doing such a thing

One day, V invites you to a photography convention

It’s literally such a cool event.

There’s photographs displayed everywhere

Photographers were taking pictures of everyone and showing how they turn simple photographs into amazing abstract works of art.

There were a bunch of cameras on display that people and you could see how ecstatic V was to use them. He brought his SD cards and any photos he took were saved

You were also having a great time with your boyfriend but when it started to get late, things took a turn for the worst

A lot of photographers suddenly recognized you

You had a feeling that none of their intentions were good-hearted.

And you were sure that out of the group of photographers, there were at least three registered sexual offenders

Some of them approach you but V assures you you’ll be okay

Seeing as your happiness and joy faded away, he knew that you weren’t enjoying the convention anymore.

However, one of the photographers came onto you and held you by your waist and pulled you right out of V’s arms

You tried to fight back but you felt so weak to your knees and cold

Your heart was racing like it was about to be ripped out of your chest

Right then and there in front of V, one of the photographers began to take off your jacket and whispered

“Maybe we should see if you still have the same body from those magazines, my lady”

V ripped him away from you immediately and punched him causing a commotion

The photographer fell to the ground and V pulled you away from the convention, holding you close.

Later at home, V feels so guilty and apologizes over and over again to you for taking you there

He didn’t want to bring up old memories, he just wanted to have fun with you at the convention

For the next few days he never let’s you leave his sight.

But after a week or so, he feels that nothing is going to happen to you

He let you walk to work on your own at last but that was a huge mistake

On your way to work, that photographer from the convention caught you and took you somewhere unknown against your will

HE had his camera ready to snap photos of your body for his own twisted purposes.

You were tied up to rope (the hung from the ceiling) by your wrists as you stood in the middle of a warehouse

He had the camera in one hand and began snapping photos just as he began removing your clothing one by one with his other hand

You screamed for help

You screamed for V

And that was just what the photographer wanted to capture. Your misery and fear in every photo along with every inch of your exposed body.

When tears fell down your cheeks, the photographer was pleased

All you had left was a tank top and panties when V came bursting in

HE beat the photographer unconscious and smashed his camera

You were his priority and he untied you

You fell into his arms, weak and almost lifeless

You were a crying mess and the sobbing never stopped for the rest of the day

Police arrived at the scene and took the unconscious photographer away while V took you home, wrapped in his jacket.

You couldn’t put on your clothes that was removed because it has been ripped and torn.

V called for Jumin to bring a car to his location and you cried on V’s lap the entire way home.

V had to carry you bridal style into the house because your legs had given out and drew a bath for you

And you stayed soaking in the tub until night fell without talking to anyone, not even V.

Saeran: (let me explain real quick b/c I feel this one isn’t as clear as the others. In her past, MC came from an abusive household and she developed trauma bonding. Basically forgives her abuser constantly. This predisposes her to repeat the same mistake in the future, thus a problematic situation with Saeran. By no means do I condone MC’s behavior though.)

Warning: Saeran is not a fluff ball. He’s actually very disturbed so don’t expect romance.

You grew up in a toxic and abusive household

You had grown accustomed to being pushed against walls, furniture, being beaten with kitchen instruments, and being pulled around by your hair

You always endured through it all and you were always convinced that one day it would stop

You wondered why you never ran away when you had the chance

You had grown up and at the age of 18, you were still taking beatings without fighting back

You were happy to finally cut you hair off when enlisted in the army right after graduation. Luckily you were never deployed so you stayed in the city.

One weekend you were out for a walk and met saeran. More like you helped seven tame a crazed Saeran.

At the time you didn’t know why Saeran was like that . You gradually became friends with the two and despite his anger issues and uncontrollable outbursts, you grew fond of Saeran

Even Seven was confused as to why you were growing attached to him

Maybe you pitied him? Maybe you wanted to care for him?

And no it was not that. While you lived in your old home, you developed something called trauma bonding.

That was why you never ran away from home.

You always forgave your parents for all they put you through anyway.

And now you were repeating the same mistake with Saeran

So now you were falling for Saeran because he was so violent. And just like with your parents, you were convinced that one day Saeran would change for the better

Seven tried to keep you from falling for Saeran because he knew his brother was a lost cause. He would never recover from his early years of trauma and his violence was his only coping mechanism.

When he was not violent, Saeran somehow grew attached to you too.

The poor kid never knew what is was to have someone around other than Seven and to not be abandoned.

Oh this was the start of another toxic relationship. It was just wrong from the get go

You were already predisposed to fall back into the cycle of abuse and Saeran was possessive of you. He never wanted you to leave him.

He didn’t want to be left alone again. Never.

Seven saw this relationship grow. And when you and Saeran moved in together, so many alarms went off in his head.

He knew you were in danger but he was so confused as to why you were so oblivious to such a blatant fact.

Life continued and you were blindly in love with Saeran. You were supportive of him through his therapy and coped with his verbal outbursts.

Seven was surprised to know that Saeran hadn’t gotten physical with you…yet

Oh but that changed soon enough.

One day he was home alone and he was losing his mind. He was building up rage because you weren’t there. He was angered that you left him alone.

You were just running late from work and when you came back, you were greeted with a vase smashing against the door.

Of course you were scared but you just approached Saeran and tried to calm him down like the first day you met him.

Things didn’t go your way and next thing you know, he tossed you against the floor and had you pinned down under him

“I-I’m going to…kill you next time you ab-abandon me”

His eyes and mouth were twitching and you were scared for you life when you felt his icy hands wrap tightly around your neck

You gasped for air but didn’t fight back.

This was just like when you were younger. You just took the abuse because you were so sure it would end one day.

You were losing consciousness the moment Seven walked through the door and found you pinned down.

He pushed saeran off of you but you’re already out cold.

Seven locked him in the basement until he calmed down and waited for you to gain consciousness again.

“MC, why do you still stay with him? You know he’s going to hurt you so much. I mean I know you’re a grown adult but this isn’t healthy…”

You turned away from Seven. Of course he wouldn’t understand you. He’d already given up on his brother

But you still had hope (it was delusional hope) that Saeran would one day be rehabilitated.

Seven, the therapists, and everyone with a logical mind knew that Saeran was better off in an asylum.

And so you told Seven to leave you and Saeran alone because “Saeran will be okay one day.”

The abuse never stopped. But you never stopped forgiving Saeran. You were utterly convinced that he would change

Despite the pattern always repeating.

Even after years of physical torment from your “lover”, you stayed with him.

He was as possessive as ever. At night Saeran held you so tightly that you could move. And in the mornings you’d wake up with marks around your abdomen from how tight he held you

And let’s just say every time you two had intimate moments, you had trouble recovering

As he grew more violent, you grew more forgiving and delusional.

You loved him with all your heart because pain was the only form of love you ever received and forgiveness was the only thing you knew how to give

#mysme #mystic messenger #mysme angst #mystic messenger scenario #mysme scenario #mystic messenger headcanon #mystic messenger spoiler #mysme spoiler

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

I hear two Atlanta Police Officers with missing vehicles called the Mayor and apologized to her for thinking of only themselves, admitted they were afraid that if they were in the same situation they would been fired as the other two in the Rayshard Brooks case and they couldn't allow that to happen to,themselves and the community so they wanted to show what would happen if it did because like me they all saw it as a justified homocide, a honorable weapon's discharge.

But after reading what i wrote last night. They fully regrret their decision and would like to have a meeting with her today, the entire 25 that stayed home for 3 days and they will all drive up to see her, in their personal cars of course.

Of course they got her mussing her mascara and all. Weeping she is. Don't mean she's weak. Just means she knows love. And she knows how evil attacks it and makes love so painful.

... ...

I mean I'm real surprised at Atlanta. I never had any problems with them they was always "The Next New Orleans" i called them.

Always just witchy with it. Good and a skip ahead.

So besides my anger at the situation created...

Look. I come straight outta the 90s.

Back then... Man. Our history been lost in 30 years. Our soul soul soul filled history. Its gone. It ain't there.

Back in the 90s we had about a 15 year break. From the protests from Vietnam War. Love not War Protests. We had them nice little 1950s with "Hello Technology: introduction to the TV" ONWARD to the "60s Hippies. Make love not War" taking it right onto the 70s which came back with the Civil Rights

So our 90s. Y'all they were the most beautiful. They were the combo of the 60s and 70s.

The riots and protests being taught to me and we made it big as we could with all the best parts of being a Human Rights Activist with brand new only 1990s fluorescent neon dripped could bring in.

That was all lost. Its all gone.

But the fight. The rights. THE TRUTH we went all 1950s and stayed in and raised our kids right. People wanna say shit about the Millennials. But we spoke truth. We spoke from our heart and we let them find,the truth as safe as possible and form their own opinions based on truth alone.

So now people wanna beat our kids. People i went to high school with they got high school graduates. Mine will be 17 this August. Real honest to God birthday and age.

Those are my babies. Our babies. They are our future. In 50 years they're gonna be like old man Bernie Sanders. 70 years old bent over fighting because we're gonna be near dead at 90 and more.

And people neglect and beat and ...

Man Our kids got it bad enough already. Simply because THEY KNOW THE TRUTH.

And man we got to protect them. Protect their hearts. Their minds. Their souls.

And they getting allllllll this stress. Put on them. Stress that is simply avoided.

By one dancing in the streets.

By 15 officers stating their badge numbers.

By the police owning up to who they are and why they exist.

Don't they want peace? Used to be they were called Peace Keeping Officers.

Now they called Lice Officers. Coming in on Native American Reservations claiming unwashed hair bread bugs. Let me tell you something. My daughter and I got lice a while back.. Like 8 years. The only thing that killed them was coating our hair in oil

Lice breath through holes in their exobody. So the oil makes them suffocate to death and die. Furthermore people whom smoke reject lice more frequently than those that don't. It takes me 3 months longer to get lice than a non smoker.

Peace pipe anyone?

.

So historically police aren't loved. They aren't wanted.

Being a police or military. It becomes a color of our skin. I'll post a tattoo that isn't finished being colored or lined. It's not done. I'll show you we can balance it.

Get out of your comfort zone. Step out of your skin.

We can't stop being black. We can't stop being what drives us to be police.

But we can control it.

"BURN ALL THEIR FUCKING CARS" demanded the international head of the CIA.

"No ma'am. This is what we did" they didn't tell me No before. They just did it. Because they knew it was better. They knew it would cause all 25 of y'all to have to stand up and say "my car is missing. This is how i feel. I do/don't want it back"

Where yall can't pretend what y'all did didn't matter and just get up and go to work the next day. All sneak in and get back to business.

No. You got a fucking problem. You forcing others to take on your load, Zone 5.

Were not walking away and being all its fine what ever. You got a problem. We need to tackle it in a for real state.

Foooorrrrr Reeeaaaalllll state.

You got a problem in your mind? Those become tangible. They aren't floating thoughts. They are what makes us do what we do.

Make it concrete. Take away their cars.

I ain't saying the charges will be dropped. That's all a whole other issue. I don't work in the justice system. Court. Law. I tell you how to win in court. But i ain't about telling some DA how to shove it. I just sue them. When its courts. I fight their game. With paperwork and all that shit. So like i said that's not on me to say the charges will be dropped.

When it's a basketball game you use a ball and circle to drop the ball in.

Use proper tools

Atlanta PD could and should said "alright let's picket the DA. Lets go in uniform. Leave our weapons in the car. Unbutton our shirts. Put red paint on our foreheads to show where they're hurting us. Show them the DA now made us defense less and stripped"

Half hour. 10 minutes. 2 hours. Don't matter. As long as you make that statement.

NYPD did that.

Sure i can ask Tree, tree why ain't you posted that? Taught them?

But why didn't NYPD pull out thier hands and say NBC, FOX. Where's them videos of what we use to do and so we can stop and make this shit right in the streets?

Thata all i did. That's all im doing now. Yeah I'm,the most brilliant and all

But the last since November i been telling y'all "shake them tail feathers"

How is Gary Trump's brother going into human trafficking for 24 years to be found by me. Then murdered by his brother that took his name and lied about who he was? And his brother didn't care. He said "ill go by Gary. It don't matter. Hes worked hard under my name"

How is the ACTUAL Donald Trump not allowed to be in a Black Lives Matter movement? How come no one is shaking their tail feathers to a man killed by the government for greed and white power?

The faux Donald Trump that is our impeached President is a racist.

So why isn't his brother being named? Black Lives Matter.

One person says "Let's Shake Our Tail Feathers".

Dont matter if you believe me. Its the movement. Quite literally.

Its confusing and alive and can make us all sick. It is its own plague. "Shake ya tail feathers" it's a mental plague if you refuse truth.

Regardless how i named it. I still taught it and spoke it. And led y'all to dance it.

Bye bye stress. Bye bye human trafficking.

Bye bye inequality.

Instead it's crazy

It was already planned to be crazy. Burning down buildings calling them Liberty Torches.

Civil Rights . Civil Liberties . take No Justice/Fairness and make it a sight to behold.

Is it fair to me financially to burn down my own economicially profiting legally businesses to make a Park and Garden where you can get fresh and,free vegetables and fruit for life? HELL FUCKING NO.

I got to pay security and taxes and i don't get a single domestic dime in return.

Kids go play on my slides and swings and wear them out having too much dam fun. Then i gotta spend More Money to make sure i am making sure they even get a single second to know what fun is.

I spent my whole life working. Every dam day.

One day I went out and I was 18 years old and i heard laughter. And i didn't know what it was. What made people laugh? How could people even be happy? Or want to laugh?

I was 18 years old. Didn't under stand a human thing.

And it just kept going and going and going. I wanted it to stop. I wanted to do whatever it took. And I didn't know why. Because i got my car keys out and opened my car door the second time that day. This time to make it stop. I put my car key between my fingers. Next thing i knew, I was sitting back down. And starting the car. Obviously my mom knew I was crazy with worry. And lost my mind. Shoved my ass back in the car and said "no you're just gonna leave and leave those innocent people alone"

I was so angry and bitter. And now my life is even worse.

If I couldn't attack them people. No one else can attack innocent people in public.

I don't care how fucked up you are. YOU CAN'T ATTACK SOMEONE FOR THEIR FREEDOMS.

Laughter. Black Lives Matter. Blue lives MATTER. All lives MATTER.

Some ignorant fool was arguing with a store clerk saying how her Black Lives Matter sign offended him

Watch me, #BLM #BLM ONE OF THOSE IS BLACK. ONE OF THOSE IS BLUE. TOGETHER WE ARE BRUISED BLACK AND BLUE.

Why can't y'all see and accept that?

We can't we be one. One truth.

One life to live

I can't live as Cleopatra or anyone of my past lives. I can't even live the life I led in the 90s. I can't even walk

We have one life to live and this is it.

So do we kill each other? Or do we protect each other?

Why aren't we being One?

When you're alone you can think of only you. You realize how important you are. We all need alone time.

When im with you i can only think about how important you are.

There isn't enough room in my brain to say how important we both are at the same time unless we do and think and act the same way all day long. Even for twins and clones its impossible.

So in my brain and in yours. You can only think about how much ONE life matters at a time.

ONLY ONE LIFE IN THIS WORLD MATTERS. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!

We. Our. Us. You can't stop a great combination.

Power and love = unified. Unity. United.

Watch me, #BLM #BLM ONE OF THOSE IS BLACK. ONE OF THOSE IS BLUE. TOGETHER WE ARE BRUISED BLACK AND BLUE.

Stop the pain. Hold our hands. Let the love flow. Let the Heart speak until it sings.

So yesterday old Blackfeet and Regina didn't see each other for the DUMBEST thing. She said "oh baby ill move in the nursing home with you"

He says something all "nonsense that's dumb shut up" all Grumpy Bear.

I don't even want to be with you.

So i talked to Michael about their unique situation.

He could had said "I'm well enough to move into a regular home with you. We don't need the nursing home. I moved to (US state) to be with you. To be close to you because you mean more to Me than Anything in the world. And you deserve a big ole castle. Because i love you and we gotta do all this best and right. No nursing home. We got another 50 years plus i wanna be doing you on the kitchen table and not here. All I can smell is stinky old man diapers from the neighbor"

And she could said had he continued the fight "oh idk what I'm saying I've never even seen the nursing home. Do you mind i come visit you there? Id really like that"

It would taken ONE. Only one to stop their ninny war.

And they would been holding each other. With love.

Instead of living in Hell.

So, now what happened was we put it all on old dad. Because hes the Black Beethoven who can suddenly sing a ballad of symphony in the midst of telling some real bad history truth.

Then moments later Regina said "well i could said something different, too".

It takes two to tango.

So I challenge y'all to punch inequality in the face. BLM. there is no difference between.

Black. Blue. Red. Purple. Yellow. Green. All bruises.

Challenge each other. Black and blue.

Force it. There is no difference and it must be seen.

Chant it. Turn on the "Boombox" and dance together. Dance if some won't. But do it in their face.

Laugh. Be happy. In their face.

If they're bitter like an 18 year old me and don't have a Angel Mommy to bust their ass back down into a sitting position. Someone will beat the shit out of them. Someone will stop them and i Will go after them and send you services for legal and medical. Free.

Acknowledge.

You are hurt. I am hurt.

Lets Live. Lets be happy.

Lets try. Trying makes perfect.

"MOVE BACK"

"TAKE THAT FIRST STEP"

"MOVE BACK"

"SEE WE ARE HURT SAME AS YOU" point out the ones that have fear. The ones that try to intimidate. -- The I Can See You -- let them scream in your face youre nothing but a piece of shit. And yell back they're someone inside a police uniform. And you can see it.

Beat their asses like fucking Care Bears.

Teach you a little photography. 1. Dirty lens. Dry skin. 2. Lotions the skin. Hannibal lectur. 3. Cleans the lens. 4 & 5 close up with flash. 6&7 close up without flash.

After meeting some kids in college. Native Americans from tribes near Gallup. Very very. Very Racist.

I began to question my life long believe of how I could live with being a military based person. And being an Native American.

I didn't know. I just knew i could and it wasn't fair to me to destroy the very being of me. Simply because it don't make sense without actual factual historical documents.

Remember Oregon Trail was First. That made Atlas.

Then down the coast to find gold. So NM DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT NO FUCKING TRAIL OF TEARS SO GET OUT MY FACE.

And so my owl... Its every thing. I didn't design it normal. It has wings that are out stretched yes.

But it has a secomd pair of wings. Which are pins from the United States Coast Guard. Those wings are like hands. To do things close by to the body.

Its slightly designed after a Hindu God. She has 6 arms.

Here the wings are keeping the body warm and safe and sound.

How could myself own an owl to represent my secret past of S.Leigh if it can't have hands to represent both my heart and mind?

There figlirliee on the head. That's not for me. Its because I think about you. The mass population of Earth.

I need more simply than what the Earth can provide in the reality of which exists on Earth.

There's an hour glass of water on it's side, traveling... My baby bird is flying with an hour glass.

If you look. You'll see a woman under and between the two shields. And she has "duck lips"

For the real "Not Gary Donald Trump"

Her lips are actually a heart. But they look off..

A rose each sits above the shields. A diamond in the midst of the tail feathers.

No piece

No area.

Is just a feather. A stroke of color.

Each is an item. There's no nothing. It is all something

The military did not just beat us and we took it as Muscogee Creek Nation. We built an Atlas. Recivejed the City of Atlantis -- the Spain sent supplies to help us for years. All the way from Florida.

There was Something. It all wasn't nothing

Or for nothing. Everyone looks for the truth. Looks for the Lost City of Atlantis and i am the one who sunk it. Because I am the Goddess.

The diamond has a purple eye. Diamonds are the hardest and toughest known substance.

Well i know my mind is gonna cut you and rip you apart from what I've seen. So my eyes are like diamonds. My mind

Our tounges are diamonds. We can slash each other apart.

Or we can acknowledge the riches we have.

My Ultimate Challenge is for the police to create a barricade when necessary. No weapons in hand. Hands on the top of their heads and chant BLM Bruises are the same.

We know black bruises hurt the worst, the same level as red.

Then purple. Then blue. Green and yellow rarely do.

So please fight blindness and inequality with me.

And please post it on the national news and international news. So that we know as a world we all fight together

Whether it's in the couches or in the streets.

Thank you for trying.