I like the small ways cis people express their gender identity, even if they don't understand that's what they're doing.
Cookouts are a ritual performance of masculinity.
The principal point of focus is the man hosting the event. He demonstrates his ability to skillfully perform a masculine task (grilling), using a masculine instrument (the grill) to cook a masculine food (meat). If he successfully performs that task, then he distributes the rewards of his masculine talent and receives in turn compliments affirming that he is masculine.
Other men at the cookout can, and usually do, express their own masculinity. They gather around the host to talk amongst each other. They comment on the way the host is performing his masculinity by grilling the meat, expressing their belief that the host is masculine and demonstrating that they too know how to perform these masculine acts. They tell each other stories of times that they demonstrated their masculinity in the past and the sometimes hilarious results. This conversation allows them to express their own masculinity and affirm the masculinity of the other men in the conversation.
Feminine individuals wait in the periphery of the ritual, until it is time for them to eat food and express complimentary affirmations of the host's masculine skill. If feminine individuals cook at all, it's exclusively sides that compliment the main focus of the meal and very little focus is put on that task. It's a nice thing for a feminine person to prepare these sides, but ultimately peripheral to the masculine ritual.
None of these tasks are inherently masculine. There is nothing to physically prevent a feminine woman from grilling meat or to comment on someone else's grilling. However, I have been to a normal amount of cookouts in my life, and I have never seen a woman grilling or commenting on someone else's grilling beyond asking when the meat will be ready. Someone with a feminine gender identity has less to gain from ritualistically performing masculinity, because they don't want to be perceived as masculine.
Before concluding, let me preempt some arguments. My experiences are universal. If you have seen a woman grilling, that was an illusion and you are a fool for being tricked so easily. I'm not reading too much into this, because this is all self evident if you think for like a second. If you disagree with anything I said, it is because you are blinded by your preconceived notions or political beliefs. I'm very talented at performing my masculinity and my penis is normal.
I think it's valuable to understand that performing gender is a universal experience. It's not just something aberrant trans people do, cis people do it too.
26 notes
·
View notes