#i won't tell you what's happening on chuuya's side yet but | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spacexseven · 1 year

Note

oooo a demon au! I like it! question, do you think demon chu and daz would be content with just tormenting darling for the rest of their days and leaving it at that, or would they want the relationship to... progress, at some point? like I feel like this can go one of two ways 1) demon yan just wants to torment their little human until they break and then move on or 2) demon yans possessive feelings take a more romantic, softer (soft used VERY generously here) note and they move onto courting practices. of course demonic courting is objectively terrifying and you probably won't realize that's what they're even trying to do but, you know. modern dating, amirite? I could see dazai specifically learning about what marriage is from watching your TV unsupervised and becoming VERY taken with the idea. chuuya would probably think it was stupid, he doesn't need a RING or a damned PRIEST to stake his claim on you! (though, maybe you'd appreciate the effort? hm... much to consider)

or maybe it'd be a mix of both, or a secret third thing I haven't thought of yet!

also what kind of demons do u think the boys are? dazai is giving me incubus vibes from the way you've written him so far but I can also see him being very torture-oriented, maybe even some kind of eldritch monstrosity entirely in his own league. demon!dazai saying he wants to lock you up in his little torture hell dimension for all eternity and thinks he's VERY romantic for saying it too! mmmm chuuya would definitely be a much more powerful sort than one might intitally assume. has a very large sphere of influence, possibly even his own cult (that might cause issues for you down the road). who knows!

- 🩹

cw: yandere characters + themes, implied imprisonment, mentioned murder and violence, chuuya has a cult

i like the sound of chuuya having a cult of fervent worshippers; since he's so well known and revered for his strength and his power, it would make sense as to why someone decided to curse you by tacking him onto you. it was obvious that under normal circumstances, you'd have been devoured by the demon by now.

speaking of cults, you're shocked at first to know that he has one. chuuya tells you he doesn't care for his human worshippers (does that mean he has demon worshippers, too?) but it's somewhat true that fear is power for him. he doesn't care about their antics, but he was pleasantly surprised to see them offer sacrifices and relics to him (though he doesn't mention the first to you, knowing how...weak human hearts are)

he doesn't take you to see it, of course, unsure of whether his worshippers would be happy to see you by his side, or feel offended that he had to be tied down to a human. of course, he was ready to slaughter them all at a moment's notice if you would feel better about it, but you seemed appalled by the suggestion.

for the most part, he's definitely a lot softer than dazai. sure, he has a better understanding of human relationships, having mingled more with people than dazai, but it doesn't mean his understanding isn't skewed. chuuya thinks that kidnapping a priest will mean that your wedding will be recognized by the divine law, and he doesn't know why you'd be upset when he offers you the corpses of every person who's ever slighted you as a wedding gift.

putting dazai with a human is the worst thing to ever happen because he has no understanding of how humans work. why are they so weak, and small? why are they so frightened by everything? why are they so preoccupied by that strange box with flashing lights??

initially, he's all about making your life a literal living hell. he almost felt embarrassed that you of all people summoned him, to be honest, and he takes it out on you. since you were able to bring him here, stupid human, you should be able to keep him as well! but as we've discussed, his torment turns into something strange. it's thanks to human technology that dazai learns that humans like when a potential partner brings them gifts and helps them out, so when he sees you suffering trying to finish all your work, he happily burns down the pile of paper and brings you the ashes in a little jar he made the other day. oh, and they like verbal assurances and physical affection? dazai is always cooing at you about how smart you are for a human, and then proceeds to literally wrap himself around you and pet your hair.

god forbid he decides to surprise you with a visit to his home. while he promises you that you'll just love his majestic castle, you don't expect to be shown a very...in-depth tour of his torture chamber as well. and then he grins at you and says that he'll love for you to stay with him longer, all the while holding his one-of-a-kind, custom made blade in one hand.

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fancyfeathers · 3 months

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Can we possibly get yan!paul hcs???

I would love to see how youd picture him, if not, can we have Tachihara yan hcs by chance?

OH MY GOD YES! I FUCKING LOVE PAUL AND HE DOES NOT GET TALKED ABOUT! HE HAS SO MUCH YANDERE POTENTIAL!

had to use a stage play gif lol

Paul is the definition of a protective and patronizing yandere with a touch of delusional. Hè sees his darling as a poor, weak, little thing. But yet in his eyes, she is absolutely perfect, she just doesn't know how to protect herself. He is an assassin, someone who kills people but something about being his darling's guardian angel from the shadows is just so perfect, it is the thing he was missing.

Now where the delusional bit plays in, in Strombringer he sees Chuuya as his little brother when he's not really (I mean kinda but it's hard to explain) so he sees his stalking almost as courting, he's getting to know his darling after all. But even when he can't because of being in the Port Mafia basement, he is still a Port Mafia executive, having some of his underlings follow you around and report back to him is the next best thing.

But over time he grows increasingly frustrated and envious, his subordinates get to see you but he can't. The final straw is when Paul finds out you have gotten a good job and will have to move out et Yokohama because of that. Without hesitation Paul has you kidnapped by his subordinates, of course he never told them about his relations with you, it is none of their business. So in the middle of the night you hear footsteps and then someone bash you on the side of your head before you can even get out of bed.

The next thing you realize you're waking up in a dark, concrete, room, it's nicely furnished but still not where you would want to be. Behind the metal door, that seems to be the only entry and exit, you can hear yelling about how "you were to rough" and "did you see the bruise you left on her head? It's as big as my hand!" You are left shaking at this, wondering what is going to happen to you. Then you hear more muffled speaking following by the shuffling of feet. Then the door unlocks with a click and they’re standing in the door frame is a handsome man to say the least but also the man behind your kidnapping.

When he sees you panicked he doesn't understand why you are, he did this for you, to keep you safe from the outside world that wants to hurt you. Even if he doesn't understand that won't stop him from wrapping his arms around you and kissing your tears away, telling you everything will be alright.

Honestly life with Paul isn't bad, he tries to keep life as normal as possible, despite you never seeing the light of day again. He lets you have full reign of the "house", knowing full well if you try anything he can easily stop you either physically or with his ability. So you can make yourself food with knifes, shave, and have access to other sharp objects but try to use them against him, ha nice try. Also with that good luck picking the locks on the door, by the time you finish he'll notice or his subordinates standing guard outside of it will.

Also if you think him being fluffy and sweet to you will mean your family and friends are safe, think again. He killed the Flags, Chuuya’s friends, so if your friends or family get close to finding out where you are or what happened he’ll snap his fingers and have them either killed or brought to him and killed by his hands. He never lets you see the people or the bodies, but from behind the door you would hear the screams and voices of your family, your friends, and then see Paul come back, covered in their blood. He’ll smile at you, kiss your head, and go off to clean himself up while you just sit there is utter shock and horror.

#yandere bungou stray dogs #yandere bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #yandere bsd #yandere paul verlaine #yandere paul verlaine x reader #paul verlaine x reader

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starlightshadowsworld · 14 days

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The Fallen King Part 2: The Room Where It Happens.

Link to full fic

(Trigger warnings for suicide, Beast Atsushi's self esteem, survivors guilt and greif.)

"What?!" Yelled Ace, eyes wide in shock. Karma stumbled back in shock from where he was standing. Everyone else simply stared at Atsushi, trying to process the news.

'So far so good.' Thought Atsushi as he looked out to the nearby window. He'd thought of what the coverstory would be.

But telling it didn't make it any less painful.

"During the raid, the Boss ordered me away from the fight. He said a helicopter was sent for him, to get him taken to safety. It was protocol so I didn't question it."

Not that Atsushi would ever question the Boss. The man's mind was far more great, that someone as lowly as Atsushi could never comprehend it.

"We got to the rooftop and while we waited, the Boss told me about a dream he had."

While the location and the timing were inaccurate, the conversation the two shared was in fact real.

"We got to the rooftop and while we waited, the Boss told me about a dream he had." While the location and the timing were inaccurate, the conversation the two shared was in fact real.

Dazai and Atsushi had dismounted from one of the Boss's personal cars. Dazai had been overseeing a new front operation for the Port Mafia.

When he'd asked Atsushi to join him in his office.

This wasn't unusual but Atsushi had assumed he would be dismissed after the mission. As if he'd read his mind, Dazai had chuckled. "I won't keep you long."

Dazai poured himself a glass of whiskey, he didn't offer Atsushi one he never did. He sat and looked out of the giant windows, down to the city below.

"Do you remember the night I found you, Atsushi?"

Atsushi, standing at his side nodded, even though Dazai wasn't looking at him.

"I could never forget something like that. I'd sooner forget my own name." Dazai chuckled "I'd sincerely hope not, I went to all the trouble of picking one for you."

Atsushi had feared he'd said something wrong. Because of course how he could forget that. Dazai didn't comment on it, nor did he seem displeased.

But it was always hard to tell what he was thinking, what mood he was in.

"The night I found you was indeed special night. I recieved a new weapon in my arsenal. But I also recieved quite the dream." Dazai took a swing of his drink and Atsushi waited, patiently.

"I saw Yokohama, she was almost glowing in the sun. The very shadows on the streets seemed warmer. You were there, laughing beside Kyouka.

And it wasn't just you all, even Chuuya looked happy, though he was grumbling of course. It was like seeing light in an otherwise pitch black sky. This, I believe was a vision of the future."

Dazai turned to face Atsushi who almost reflexively lowered his gaze. "But while I saw you in the light, I couldn't see myself. Why do you think that?" Asked Dazai.

At the time Atsushi had simply said that it sounded like a lovely dream. And that maybe Dazai hadn't seen himself, because it was from his perspective.

"Hah, clever as always aren't you Atsushi." There was mirth in his voice, and yet something else. Something Atsushi couldn't quite place, not than.

But now, years later as he stood and recited this conversation to the executives Atsushi finally knew.

'The Boss didn't see himself... Because it was a future without him in it.'

That's why he had ordered Atsushi to leave, because he wanted his dream go come to fruition. 'And yet I stayed behind in the darkness.' Thought Atsushi, it hurt more than any physical pain to betray the Boss like this.

And yet he stayed.

"It was than he looked at me, and said there was no helicopter. That this was the last dream he would ever have. He smiled at me... And than he jumped."

The silence that followed that declaration was heavy. It was damn near suffocating. Atsushi could feel his heart rating as he waited for the inevitable.

It wasn't often Atsushi was right.Dazai would be the first to tell you that. His dear subordinate was quite the trained killer. But he unfortunately lacked the brains to be much else.

A strategist Atsushi was not.

'Though I sure saw this coming' he thought, feeling an invisible force pick him up. And slam his head into the wall behind him.

"And what, the fuck were you doing during that?!"Atsushi looked up. Straight into the piercing eyes of Chuuya Nakahara.

A punch hit him soildly in the jaw. Atsushi could feel the bones shatter, but he didn't let himself so much as wince.

Followed by another.

And another.

Timed to strike just as Atsushi's ability negated the wound. Atsushi would expect nothing less from the man who trained him.

"Answer me!" Screamed Chuuya, his fist hovering in the air. It sounded a threat, it probably was one. But Atsushi remained silent, even if he could come up with an excuse he didn't.

Because Atsushi deserved this, hell Chuuya was going easy on him.

"Chuuya!" Called Kouyou but Chuuya didn't take his eyes off Atsushi. Even as he lowered his fist, it shook ever so slightly.

"You know damn well you could've dove after him. Caught him in time, survived and got him to safety....Why the fuck did you let him fall?"

He sounded no different than usual but to those that knew him, he was pleading.

Chuuya Nakahara, the strongest man in the Port Mafia and damn well all of Yokohama... Was pleading.

For Atsushi to explain himself and Atsushi couldn't. He almost broke down than and there. This hurt, this hurt so much more than any blow or attack ever could.

Atsushi watched Dazai fall knowing he couldn't save him. And now he was watching Chuuya shatter before his eyes.

And there was nothing Atsushi could do. "I couldn't do it" said Atsushi, his voice broke slightly and he cursed himself for it.

'I have no right to grieve... Not when I caused this.'

Chuuya frowned, as if sensing there was something else to come. But at that moment Ace spoke up. "Well, be as it may. With the Boss gone you're his ideal replacement."

Despite this being Atsushi's enf goal, he was suprised. "Him?" Asked Kouyou, suprised as well as we're the others. Oh don't look at me like that. I doubt any of you would let me do it."

That, they all agreed with. "And unless you 3 are offering" Kouyou grimaced as did Verlaine and Chuuya didn't say a word.

He looked back at Atsushi with eyes full of hurt and betrayal.

"So that's what this was about..." Atsushi wanted to deny it 'but he's not wrong is he?' Atsushi hadn't killed Dazai to take his spot... But he might as well have.

Chuuya dropped Atsushi to the floor and glared down at him. "You knew he was planning stunt, did you? Let him lead you away so none of us would be any wiser?"

"Chuuya!" Called Verlaine, trying to diffuse the situation. He shot Atsushi a look, silently telling him go say something.

To say anything at all to defend himself but Atsushi remained silent.

"And how convient for you, what was this 4 and a half years in the making? I shouldn't be suprised, given you killed your last mentor too."

Atsushi felt like he'd been stabbed, pain exploded through his chest. But there was wound, there was no blood and yet he was in agony.

Tears blurred his vision and he blinked them away. He couldn't cry, he lost the luxury for that long ago.

"That's enough" Said Kouyou firmly. "We still need to vote on the subject. And in case you were all unaware, the building is quite literally falling apart." She had come to Atsushi's aid, but he really wished she hadn't.

Chuuya scoffed "I'll go deal with it, I want no part in this shit." He didn't give Atsushi another look and left the room. The door slammed behind him as Atsushi shakily got to his feet.

"I didn't know... I didn't, I froze..." He said, it sounded weak to his own ears but it was all he could say.

Not that it mattered, Dazai was dead and it was his fault.

Verlaine smiled, it was a warm and sad one like his always were. "I'll go after him but" he took off his hat, clutching it to his chest. And gave a respectful bow to Atsushi.

"You have my vote, Boss." He twirled his hat, putting it back on and left.

"You have mine too, Boss" Said Kouyou kindly, standing to give her own bow. "I wouldn't have said it otherwise, you have mine too Boss. And majority rules." Said Ace, bowing with Karma following in suit.

Atsushi knew he should feel elated that his plan worked. But he couldn't bring himself to feel much of anything. "Thank you, we can conclude this meeting later. Preferably when the building isn't falling apart."

At that they both chuckled before everyone became serious.

"I need both of you to gather your subordinates down to the lower floors. Kouyou you will take the east and Ace will take the west. In accordance with the Homecoming protocol."

In the event of Headquarters being attacked, the clean up crew and lower ranked subordinates would check that the building was structurally sound.

If it wasn't, like now Chuuya and Verlaine would keep the building steady. While they did that, the construction crew would use their abilities to reinforce the building.

Kouyou and Ace were to lead the evacuations. Meanwhile Atsushi and Kyouka would patrol the outer ring to ensure the attackers didn't get away.

'Which, is exactly what I did' mused Atsushi. It was also to ensure the Boss's protection. Which Atsushi had definitely failed. "Very well, but if suggest you and Kyouka join me." Said Kouyou, very much eager to go find Kyouka.

Atsushi shared the feeling, he knew she was okay alone. But he'd been terrified for her during that fight. And that feeling hadn't faded.

That fight that felt like years ago now.

He didn't acknowledge the part this meant Kouyou wanted the responsibility of protecting him. As he was the Boss now.

"I'll be right behind you, I just need to call Verlaine. Head to your areas, make sure to keep everyone close. We can't afford to have any stragglers."

Both executives nodded, pausing to bow before leaving. Atsushi knew it was as odd for them, just as it was for him. 'Something to get used to.' He supposed, before noticing Karma was still there.

"Can I help you?"

Karma shook his head, shly pulling out a parcel from a bag. "For you, Kyouka mentioned tha-"

"Karma!" Yelled Ace, noticing his subordinate wasn't with him. Karma smiled, sheepish "coming!"

He looked back at Atsushi, knowing he really needed to go. So he let out a quick "happy birthday Atsushi...I mean Boss!" He apologised, bowing and ran to where his mentor was.

Atsushi stood there frozen in place.

Oh.

It was today, wasn't it?

Atsushi thought of claws tearing into flesh. Of hugging the smiling frame of the Headmaster, as he died in his arms. Dazai had smiled at him too, as plummeted to the ground.

The irony that he killed them both on the day he was born.

Atsushi wanted to break it but he put the parcel in a bag. He left the room and joined Kouyou and Kyouka.

Kyouka frowned "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said." She knew how much he hated this day. But Atsushi would always hate himself more. It was his own doing after all.

He smiled and he hoped it looked reassuring. "Later, for now we need to get everyone to safety.'

Everyone would be made accounted for and the building made anew. But all Atsushi could think of was the one body they'd found on the ground.

Still smiling at him.

'Happy birthday, Atsushi.'

It took everything Atsushi had not to scream.

#The Fallen King #beast atsushi #beast chuuya #atsushi nakajima #chuuya nakahara #beast dazai #bsd beast #bungou stray dogs beast #fanfiction

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femboykyo · 7 months

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Dazai Needs Cuddles

Pair: Soukoku

Tags: late night talks, Chuuya comforts Dazai, fluffy Soukoku, Dazai cries, happy ending I promise

Chuuya let out a groan at the sound of bustling in his kitchen. It could've been anyone he knew really but he had a hunch on who it was. He turned on the kitchen light after he walked down the hall and standing in the middle was Osamu Dazai.

"Dazai! Do you have any idea what-Youre crying." Dazai just rummaged through Chuuya's alcohol until he found one he liked. Chuuya could already feel a headache forming.

"Dazai, what are you doing?"

"Getting a drink, obviously."

"I mean what are you doing in my house?"

"Getting a drink, obviously." Dazai grabbed a glass from the counter when he paused. Chuuya rose a brow at Dazai's frozen movements. That's when he saw Dazai's tears and his bottom lip quivered.

"Oi Mackerel, what's up with you?"

"You have a tiny cactus?"

"Yeah, I've had it for a week now, so?"

"Chuuya has a tiny cactus!" Dazai was sobbing now and he gently held the cactus's pot in his hands.

"What's gotten into you?!"

"It's small! Which reminds me of Chuuya! And cacti are prickly and Chuuya can be mean like how a cactus feels!" Chuuya was beyond confused by his ex partners logic but he let him continue.

"And then it made remember that Chuuya is all I have but... What if Chuuya leaves me?! And I love small things and it's so cute!" Chuuya held Dazai in his arms, carefully taking the cactus and putting it back onto the counter, his nose picked up the smell of alcohol from Dazai's breath despite not opening Chuuya's wine yet.

"Dazai, go to my room."

"No, I don't want to leave Chuuya."

"I'll be right behind you, now go lay down." Dazai whined but did as he was told and went down the hall to the lit up bedroom. Chuuya grabbed Dazai's favorite blanket from the couch and followed him to the room. Dazai was already in his spot on Chuuya's bed, holding Chuuya's fish plushie, still sniffling every once in a while. Chuuya covered him with the soft and fuzzy blanket and laid next to him. Chuuya gathered Dazai into his arms and turned off the bedside light.

"You want to tell me what happened today?" Dazai shook his head.

"Do you want to just cuddle?" A nod.

"Do you want to tell me after you are better?" Another nod. Subconsciously Chuuya was rubbing Dazai's back while the brunette snuggled more.

"...I'm scared."

"Scared?"

"The only time I ever cared or loved someone they left me. But I've come to care and love so many more... I don't want to lose them too..."

"You won't lose anyone, Dazai. It's different now."

"I don't want to lose you either, Chuuya."

"Dazai..." Dazai let out a yawn and rested his head on Chuuya's shoulder.

"Don't leave me..." He fell asleep. Chuuya groaned but he couldn't help feeling touched from what Dazai had said. He planted a kiss onto Dazai's head.

"I won't leave without you, Osamu." He whispered and fell asleep as well. When Chuuya awoke later that morning, Dazai wasn't next to him but he heard the sound of spraying water. Dazai was in the shower. Chuuya stripped out of his clothes and went right across the hall to join the detective.

"Move over." Dazai did with a smirk.

"Chuuya, such a bold man." He teased.

"Shut up, hand me the soap." Dazai pressed Chuuya against the wall, the warm water pouring between them, and licked the shell of Chuuya's ear.

"Why don't we get properly dirty first?" Chuuya's face turned a deep red and he elbowed Dazai's side.

"Idiot, we have work today!" Dazai whined as he held his side even though they both knew it didn't hurt.

"Chuuya! And to think you were starting to get soft for me!"

"In your dreams. Soap, now."

"Yeah yeah, here." When their fingers touched and Chuuya lifted his head, Dazai kissed his lips. Chuuya knew he shouldn't give in to temptation, especially with Dazai, but his lips and hands were to tantalizing.

"Chuuya?"

"What?" Suddenly Dazai was crying again. Chuuya was caught off guard and put his hands on Dazai's face.

"Dazai, now what?!"

"I wanna cuddle!" Chuuya sighed.

"Alright, finish your shower." Chuuya got out, wrapped a towel around his waist, and went to his phone. Might as well let someone know he wouldn't be able to come in today. He once again grabbed Dazai's blanket and got his spot on the bed ready. After all he did promise Dazai he wouldn't leave him, even if he was being a headache.

#skk fanfic #skk #soukoku #bungo stray dogs dazai #bungou stray dogs chuuya #dazai x chuuya #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #bsd

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godshitgirl · 4 months

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Mrpeg soukoku for the soul🫄🧑‍🍼

Kouyo calls dazai while he's at work and tells him to meet up with her ASAP

her tone is very serious so he ditches work to see her (much to kunikidas dismay)

They meet up at a coffee shop where kouyo coldly tells him that chuuya is in danger and that he must do everything in his power to protect him right now

Dazai has no idea what's wrong and when he asks her she says that he'd rather tell him himself

They go to chuuyas apartment where he's seated at the dining table, a bottle of wine opened but untouched, like he was about to drink from it but suddenly decided not to. Next to it stands an empty wine glass that chuuya stares blankly into without a word

There's a knock at the door, it's kouyo. And she brought dazai with her.

Dazai heads over to chuuyas side and asks him what's going on. Chuuya just looks up at him and then slowly looks down, his hand turning into a fist

"I'm pregnant" He says

There's a hush that falls over the room

"What do you mean?" Dazai asks

Suddenly, chuuya is angry. He stands up and bangs his fist against the table, almost destroying what was on it

"I mean that I'm strong and independent and make a good living so I can do this very well without you! So if you're going to leave and abandon me again then just do it already! We don't need yo-"

Chuuya is cut off by dazais tongue in his mouth, the taller man's slender fingers cupping the other's cheeks as he did so

After their lips part dazai looks at chuuya with love and gentleness in his eyes

"Can I speak now?" He asks. His actions caught chuuya off guard, but he lets him speak anyway

"I think that's amazing news" He says.

"Really?" "Of course"

"Chuuya, you are strong, funny, courageous, daring and by far the most beautiful person I know. I love you more than anything and I would love our baby just as much."

"If I made you think that after everything we've been through together I would just pack my stuff and leave, then I'm sorry. I promise never to make you feel that way again. I'm here, Chuuya. I'm staying right here, with you."

There's tears welling up in chuuyas eyes that he wipes off with his jacket sleeve

He gives dazai a hug, his arms enveloping around his neck

"You're an idiot" he says lovingly

"Aw, you love me~"

Suddenly, there's a sound of glass crashing

The two separate to examine the empty wine glass that fell to the floor

"Shit, hold on lemme get a dustpan" chuuya says as he makes his way out of the room

Dazai finally turns to look at kouyo, knowing she had dropped it on purpose

"So, is there anything you want to tell me?"

"As happy as this occasion may be, you're not thinking of the risks"

"What risks?" Dazai asks "chuuya is perfectly healthy"

"I mean the fact that he is a mafia executive who might just lose his job or his life if he's too pregnant to be useful to Mori"

"Please, Mori loves chuuya. He'd never do anything to him"

"You clearly haven't learned a thing from your time in the mafia. Mori isn't about love and empathy, if chuuya is unable to work then he will be gotten rid of. You have to make sure that doesn't happen"

"Kouyo, you know me. You know I love chuuya more than anything. I won't ever let anything happen to him." Dazai says

"You better not."

Chuuya suddenly walks into the room with a broom and dustpan

"Hey, what were you guys talking about? I heard a lot of talking"

"Just plans for the nursery" dazai says as he turns to chuuya with an innocent smile

"What do you think, green or yellow for the walls?"

"Don't you think that's thinking way too far ahead? Kids not even the size of my hand yet"

"You can never be too prepared!" Kouyo says delightedly and with a smile.

"You never know what could happen"

Kouyo and dazai share a cold look at each other in an attempt to intimidate the other. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to work for either of them

Felt kinda cringey in some places but it feels good to get this idea out of my system. Part 2 coming right after this one cause I have nothing better to do🩷

#mpreg #omegaverse #omegaverse fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #soukoku #skk #dazai #chuuya #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #ozaki kouyou

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lyukablau · 2 years

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Hi, I know you are not writing hc yet, but I wanted to write to you while I remember xD. It is about Chuuya x reader, where the reader is traumatized by sexual harassment in childhood and psychological abuse, throughout her childhood and continues, by her brother. Need not be with descriptions or directly mentioned, I know this can cause a lot of discomfort and I am so sorry for that. G/n if u want, but i prefer afab reader. Happy day/night and may the odds be ever in your favor

Chuuya x traumatized gn! reader.

Type: Headcanon, fluff and comfort.

TRIGGER WARNING: mentally abused and sexual harassment mentioned. (You've been warned). Some cursing words.

A/n: Thank you for your request! This was a challenge for me and I did it in headcanon if you don't mind, I tried my best and I hope you like it! Have a nice day/ night!

Chuuya is a gentleman, but he doesn't show it in public or in HQ, he just shows it only for you.

There is a lot of things he has to keep in mind when he does some physical affection to you.

The first time Chuuya tried to hold your hands, you immediately took back your hands, face expressed scare and fear which made him confused for so long.

He thought that you are not a touchy person at first and that's fine with him, but he slowly realized that wasn't the reason.

After dating for a long time, Chuuya wants to try to kiss you. He intended to do it gently and softly as best as he could but you denied it, facing the other way and hugging yourself in trembling form.

At that moment, he knew there is something wrong with you.

He wants to know about it so bad but he is afraid that he will accidentally scare you which is the last thing he wants to do with you.

You know that you can't hide it forever, if you do you just make him worrier than ever.

If you choose not to tell him directly but share a little bit instead, it's fine with Chuuya. He will find another way to know without you knowing it.

If you choose to tell him everything, he is all ears. He will listen carefully at first and then burst into anger after that.

"Where is that fucker? Tell me and I will make him regret what he has done to you"

"Chuu, he is my brother, you can't-"

"You can't stop me, doll. I will make him regret"

You sighed heavily which made Chuuya calm down a little bit. He sat down by your side and hugged you tightly.

Chuuya always makes sure not to raise his voice whenever he is around you, he knows that you have been gone through a lot of things and he should give you love and affection, not scared or unsafe feelings.

Fortunately, your boyfriend is a mafia executive, you are safe and sound.

It may take a lot of time for you to get used to physical affection such as kissing or sitting on Chuuya's lap. No matter how long it takes, he will wait.

Chuuya also takes you on many fancy dates, buys you many expensive gifts, and will go on vacation with you, to let you know that he loves you so much and he will keep you safe at any cost.

Chuuya is always by your side all the time whenever you have a panic attack or have a nightmare about your childhood. When it happens, the anger inside him just raising more and more.

He won't kill that bastard but he will make him live a life hurter than death for hurting his lover.

(A/n: request is open only for ten people. After that request will close!)

#Chuuya x reader #Nakahara Chuuya #BSD x reader #[headcanon]#it was pretty short though I hope you like it

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sirenascales · 3 years

Text

-> double black [part six] 18+

-> Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader x Dazai

-> Who knew getting fired from work could lead to this?

-> Content: SMUT, slight angst, violence, murder, swearing

The case is concluded and Chuuya collects his prize. [Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader x Dazai]

3,461 words

warning: mentions of violence, murder, nsfw, smut, slight voyeurism

note: so i lied, there is one more part, which will be nothing but smut so be excited for that hehe

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Final || Masterlist

My ability is called Hell Hath No Fury and it gives me the ability to make a perfect clone of myself that is fueled by the anger, rage, pain and despair that dwells inside of me, and has been inside of me since I was small. The anger isn't something that's just there, I've been through a lot of things in my life that left my weary soul full of the negative emotions that powers my clone. I don't particularly like using my clone, as she could be quite scary. Like anger and hatred, she could be very hard to control sometimes.

"She is quite scary, huh?" Dazai hummed, voice full of humor as I told him about my ability, us now back at the ADA. I sat at my desk, shoulders slumped. "Took me by surprise~"

I laughed softly at him, shaking my head as I read the official report that was written at the conclusion of the Taichi investigation. There was an unreadable look on my face as I read through the text, Dazai swaying his chair from side to side beside me.

"It says that Taichi was killed by the drug dealer..." I repeated, grimacing as I recalled Chuuya shooting the same man right in his head. "I don't... know how to feel about this."

I was the one who killed Taichi, yet here I was, sitting at my desk in the ADA office with no consequences coming my way. Further reports say that the drug dealer soon met his own demise due to the retribution from the Port Mafia, which wasn't an exact lie.

"Just go along with it, Bella. The only ones who know the truth are-"

"I can't believe you would do something so... incredibly stupid." I winced as soon as Kunikida started barreling down on me, sighing as he continued to lecture me.

Of course, we had to tell Fukuzawa, as well as the rest of the core members of the ADA what happened. It was only fair, considering we had to make sure the story was solid. It was rather nerve wracking to say the least, and in total me fashion, I had cried right in front of the President.

I thought I would get fired, but all I got was a week's suspension. "Get some rest," Fukuzawa said to me, leaning back in his chair. "You're going to need it." I nodded my head, standing up and bowing to him quickly before I left his office.

"I guess I'll see you guys soon," I said to the others, holding my bag full of belongings in my hands. I gave them all one last wave before walking out of the office, aware of Dazai following behind me. As always, I chose to walk down the stairs, only going down two flights before I turned on my heel, dropping my bag and wrapping my arms tight around the taller man.

"Oof," Dazai gasped out before he wrapped his arms around me, chuckling a bit as he gave me a squeeze. "It's not like you'll be gone forever."

I sighed, keeping my face pressed against his chest. "I know. I think all the adrenaline from... everything finally left and now I honestly feel like shit. I'm so tired, Osamu."

"... would you like me to come with you?" Dazai asked and I shook my head, giving him a playful, scolding look.

"You need to finish that report, you lazy bastard," I replied, Dazai already whining and I rolled my eyes. "Call me later?"

Dazai stopped whining, gently cupping my face with his hand. He leaned in and kissed me, stealing my breath away as he always had. He smirked at my flushed face, stepping back. "Yeah. Now go."

I left him by the stairs, making my way back to my apartment. Now that I had a week off, I wasn't sure what I should do. I guess doing was Fukuzawa said and just resting would be a good thing, seeing as I was tired, both physically and emotionally.

But even as I try to sleep, I find myself tossing and turning, waking up every hour. I slumped on my back, letting out a frustrated breath as I stared at the ceiling.

"You know, bella... you're disrupting my beauty sleep," Dazai spoke from beside me and I rolled my eyes, huffing out a breath. Dazai chuckled softly, laying one arm under his head while the other rested over his tummy. "This will pass in time."

I sighed softly. "It's weird... I don't regret it."

"But you still took a life."

"Did you feel this way when you first killed someone?"

"... I honestly don't remember. When you're surrounded by nothing but darkness and carnage for a long time, stuff like that is nothing to be concerned about."

I frowned. "When you were in the Port Mafia... you were partners with Chuuya, right?"

"Like I said, we were the best~" Dazai sang and I smiled softly.

"Just imagining the two of you fighting together is kinda scary..."

"Well, when you have someone like Chuuya and the youngest executive in Port Mafia history, yeah, we were pretty scary!"

I choked. "You were an executive?!" I exclaimed in shock. I thought about Chuuya, and how he worked alongside the Leader of the Port Mafia himself. Dazai was that powerful? And with someone like Chuuya...?

"That's..."

"Terrifying?"

"Hot."

Dazai sputtered, bursting out into a fit of laughter. "You like dangerous men?"

I grinned widely, finally turning to cuddle against him. "Blame it on the daddy issues," I answered, making him snort. "Why did you leave?"

"You should try to get some sleep," Dazai replied, changing the subject and I shrugged my shoulders.

"Yeah, though I won't be surprised if I can't," I mumbled unhappily, shifting a bit to get comfortable. I closed my eyes, hearing Dazai chuckled softly as I started to doze off.

Unsurprisingly, I slept like shit that night, my eyes were sore, the bags under my eyes puffy and dark. I groaned, waving Dazai goodbye tiredly as he left in the morning, heading to work after I scolded him for trying to sleep in and skip work.

The door closed behind him and I let myself fall back on my couch, just staring into nothing for a while before I grabbed my phone, pressing on Keiko's contact and calling her. She didn't answer.

After pressing the button on the side of her phone to end the incoming call, Keiko sighed nervously as she approached the man sitting in the desk before her, hands shaking as she placed down a large, thick envelope.

"Here you go. That's all of it," she said softly, quickly withdrawing her hands away and clasping them together against her chest.

Chuuya watched her carefully, noticing just how scared and timid Keiko was acting, and he honestly didn't blame her, not after what she's been through, and especially how Taichi continued to throw her under the bus, even after his death.

"I swear... I had nothing to do with what he was doing..." her voice trembled and Chuuya sighed deeply. He dug into his drawer, producing a cigarette for both himself and Keiko. She allowed him to light hers for her and there was a silence as they each took a drag.

"I believe you," Chuuya started, leaning back in his seat. "He used your name to open that offshore account and the safety deposit box, making sure not to have this all trail back to him." Keiko hung her head and Chuuya thought back to when he first saw her. She was way more outgoing and cheerful, and admittingly had a very sensual, attractive aura that even he himself would be into if she hadn't been with Taichi.

It was a shame to see that all gone, all because of one coward. It pissed Chuuya off immensely. She was essentially betrayed by someone she trusted, and Chuuya could relate to that all too well.

"But, everything is finally coming to a close with all the money Taichi stole from us coming back. Don't worry, Keiko, our investigation makes it more than clear that you are innocent in this. You have nothing to worry about," Chuuya said, but Keiko still looked troubled. She said my name softly and he looked at her questionably.

"What about her...?" she asked softly. "Is she clear?"

"You did see the official report, right?" Chuuya replied in turn, taking another drag from his cigarette. Keiko nodded silently. "It wasn't that hard to form the story. There was at least some truth to it. The drug dealer was as good as dead... as well as Taichi. She just beat us to it. We can let this slide."

Keiko sighed in relief, taking another drag from her own cigarette. "That's a relief... I was worried about what would happen to her."

"Nothing," Chuuya answered. "And we will be keeping an eye on her for a while too."

Keiko nodded in understanding. "I'm still worried about her, though. She's been having a hard time sleeping and I'm sure it's just... everything finally getting to her..." Keiko sighed deeply, rubbing her eyebrows. "But I don't know what to do... she's in this mess because of me, I wanna help her but I don't even know how to help myself!"

"And that should be your main focus right now," Chuuya spoke, crossing his arms over his chest. "Don't worry about her. I'll take care of her."

"But why?" Keiko questioned. "It's not like you care about her. Or love her."

Chuuya rolled his eyes. "There's no love there, but she's... fun."

Keiko snorted at that. "She's not one for love and relationships. I guess that's why she's involved with you, and Dazai. There's a mutual understanding there, and I guess if it works for you guys, then it's okay. But-"

Chuuya quirked an eyebrow. "But?"

"She's still sensitive. She wears her heart on her sleeve, so even if there really is no love here, I'm sure she still cares for you guys. That's just how she is. So I ask... just don't hurt her. That's all. If it all ends... just make sure she doesn't get hurt." Keiko clenched her fists. "I don't know what I'll do to you if she does."

Chuuya just stared at her, pleasantly surprised. He let out a short laugh. "Are you threatening me?"

"Yes."

Chuuya grinned, laughing again as he shook his head. The loyalty in this friendship was honestly a sight to see. It was refreshing. "I don't usually respond well to threats, so I'll let this slide. You've done all you can do, so you can head on home if you want. If you're lucky, we won't see each other again."

"Well, if you're still seeing my best friend, we probably will," Keiko said, standing up, feeling a little less nervous. "Goodbye, Chuuya. Stay safe out there."

Chuuya nodded. "I hope you can heal and become your old self again. It's sad to not see that pretty smile on your face."

Keiko blushed brightly. "Shameless flirt," she shot at him playfully, turning away from him to leave. Chuuya laughed loudly from his desk.

"So, are you okay now?" I asked Keiko over the phone, her telling me about her meeting with Chuuya. She first apologized for ignoring my call, but it didn't bother me that much. I was only glad that she was doing okay.

"Yeah, I'm alright. Gonna spend the rest of the day home and figure out what to do."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well... I'm thinking of going away for a while. Maybe for six months... just to heal and find myself again."

"Six months?! What about your job?"

"I quit. I want to start my life over again, but I love Yokohama, so I figured... I can get another job when I come back! I'm gonna sell my condo too!"

I was stunned. "I... but where do you plan on even going?!"

"Hm... maybe Europe? I'm not sure yet. Are you... okay with me leaving?"

"Of course! I support you with everything you do in your life. I just want you to be safe and okay..."

"I'm glad. I'm pretty determined, but don't worry! I will always come home!"

Keiko and I talked for a while after that, a smile on my face as we ended the call. I was happy to see that Keiko was trying to turn her life around, proud of her for being so strong. It was rather inspiring, and helped me to gain my own strength to get my shit together as well.

The day went on, and I was in the kitchen making an early dinner when there was a knock on my door. I was annoyed, thinking it was Dazai flaking out on work again, but as I opened my door, I was surprised to see a certain red head at my door.

"Chuuya?"

"Wow. You look like shit."

I rolled my eyes and scoffed, turning and walking back into my kitchen, Chuuya following behind me.

"Gee, thanks."

"What are you doing?"

"Cooking an early dinner. You want some?"

"Yeah, sure."

It wasn't long until Chuuya and I sat across from each other, chowing down on some food and filling our bellies.

"So, what's up?" I asked him, drinking some water. Chuuya was still stuffing his face, almost choking at one point before he downed his glass of water to save himself.

"Well," Chuuya coughed. "I came here to collect my prize."

I blinked. "Your prize? What are- oh," I rolled my eyes, shaking my head. That stupid race Dazai proposed. Chuuya was the one who figured it all out first, and I was the prize for the lucky winner. "So, you wanna have sex later then? I'm cool with that."

Chuuya scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "No. Well, yes, but no. Not yet. I'm taking you somewhere."

I raised my eyebrows. "Where?"

"Shut up and don't worry about it. You'll see when you get there."

I narrowed my eyes at him, just wondering what the fuck he was up to. What could it possibly be that he wouldn't tell me what his plan was? It was rather suspicious and I began to grow wary.

But we finished eating and Chuuya didn't even give me a chance to pack before he dragged me out of my apartment. I managed to get my keys, phone and purse, and I gave him the stink eye the entire time I was stuck in the backseat of a fancy car with him.

"Are you having me killed?"

"I will if you don't shut up."

I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest as Chuuya took me to my supposed doom. But we arrived at our destination, and I was extremely confused as I looked up at the rather luxurious hotel. I didn't get the chance to question it, Chuuya leading me inside. We were immediately greeted by the hotel attendants, and led to the elevator. We rode it all the way to the top floor, the attendant leaving us alone as the doors opened and we walked out into the hallway.

"Chuuya..." I let out a small breath as he led me inside the penthouse, my jaw dropping as I took my first look at the very luxurious space. "What is this?"

"Keiko told me you were having a rough time," Chuuya spoke, taking off his hat and then his jacket, hanging them up carefully. "I figured this would help you. Full body massages, jacuzzi, anything you could ever want to just... relax. It's all here."

"But... Chuuya, you didn't have to," I whispered, still in awe with my face heated up.

"Well, just deal with it," Chuuya huffed.

"Isn't this expensive though?"

"It's nothing. Just... think about this as my prize. Taking care of you."

Now my face was burning hot, Chuuya's own flushed red. I gave him a look, his words making me smile a bit despite how flustered they made me.

"You sound like a sugar daddy."

He didn't respond. That made me giggle. "How long will we be here."

"For the week, until you get back to work."

"But how did you..." I trailed off, gasping when Chuuya gave me a light push further into the penthouse.

It was an amazing, large open area space with a full kitchen, all the top appliances, a flat screen and a huge king size bed. The bathroom was just as fabulous, the large soaker tub calling my name.

"Oh, I need to get in that," I declared, making Chuuya laugh lightly. He watched as I looked around the bathroom, taking it upon himself to start filling up the tub. I turned to him and smirked. "Will you join me?"

"Like you have to ask that."

After finding a nice smelling bath bomb to put in the tub, Chuuya and I undressed and carefully climbed inside, sighing blissfully as the hot water immediately began to relax our muscles. I sat between Chuuya's legs, my back against his chest and my head resting against his shoulder. My eyes were closed, Chuuya's strong hands roaming all over my body.

"Tired?" Chuuya asked me softly and I sighed, nodding my head.

"Yeah... like Keiko said, I've been having a shit time sleeping," I answered, turning my head to lightly kiss Chuuya's jaw lightly. "But maybe a relaxing massage would help. Oh, but it's kinda late, huh? The masseuse would be gone by now."

Chuuya's hands continue to roam my body, one moving south. I let out a deep sigh when he began to rub circles on my clit.

"Yeah... but I can think of other ways to make you sleep," Chuuya whispered in my ear before he bit into my earlobe. I sigh again, Chuuya then capturing my lips with his own.

After making me cum on his fingers in the tub, we finished up in there before we found ourselves tangled up in the sheets of the king sized bed. Chuuya had my legs thrown over his shoulders, his cock plunging deep into me with every thrust he made.

"You're mine..." Chuuya breathed out, hissing and moaning from the pleasure. "... for the entire week... gonna make sure the only name you know is mine." He growled, clenching the sheets on either side of me tightly in his fists.

"Oh, yes, yes yes!" I cried out, back arching off my bed, eyes going wide as a voice that was not Chuuya's spoke up.

"Oh, that's just cute."

Whipping our heads around, we were shocked to see a certain detective standing at the foot of the bed, lecherous grin on his pretty face. We froze, Chuuya's cock still inside me, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Dazai?!" I shrieked.

"How the fuck did you get in here?!" Chuuya followed, glaring at the man. "What the hell?!"

"You can't hide things from me~" Dazai sang, not even hiding the fact that he was enjoying what he was seeing, his eyes slowly trailing over both of our naked bodies. "I was wondering why you called me to ask about her schedule... so I did some digging."

Chuuya hung his head, gritting his teeth in annoyance. "I am going to kill you."

Dazai laughed heartily, waving his hand dismissively. "No, no! Don't let me disturb you! I can watch! You guys were having so much fun!"

Before Chuuya could even react, he ended up groaning, his wide blue eyes finding mine. "Did you... fucking like that?" he asked and I stuttered a bit. "Do you want him to watch us?"

Another chill went down my spine at the thought and Chuuya groaned again as I clenched tightly around him. Chuuya cursed, feeling his cock twitch inside of me. He cursed again, becoming more overcome with arousal.

"Interesting," he breathed out, small puffs of air hitting my face. He smirked slightly, glancing back at Dazai. "This brings back memories."

"Fond memories," Dazai hummed and I looked back and forth between the two of them questionably.

"What are you guys talking about?"

Both of their eyes were now on me, and the intensity of their gazes made me gasp sharply, another chill going down my spine.

"Why have him just watch," Chuuya began, nuzzling his face against my neck. "When he can join us? Oh, fuck, you squeezed me so tightly just now..."

I trembled, heart hammering in my chest at the mere idea. A threesome? With Chuuya and Dazai. Looking over, I catch Dazai slipping off his tan jacket, gulping as he started to work on getting his shirt off.

"We have a week, right? Oh, this is going to be so much fun."

-End

#bsd x reader #chuuya x reader #dazai x reader #chuuya smut #dazai smut #bsd smut #yeehaw were finally on the home stretch

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ssamie · 3 years

Text

ten. “greatest desire”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide, guns & cementaries

masterlist. suicide freak!

"uh hi.. i know we don't really know each other that much.." atsushi started off. the boy had a nervous smile on his face as he stiffly waves at kenma, with tanizaki and naomi by his side

"but have you seen y/n-san?" atsushi asked

"y/n? why, what happened to her?" kenma asked worriedly

atsushi, tanizaki and naomi were stood in front of nekoma's gym, trying to look for the girl, as per the president's wishes. "its been about a day since you guys went out to the arcade, right?" tanizaki chimed in "has she shown herself to you, or atleast texted any of you?"

kenma frowned as he shook his head no. he looked back at the team who were trying to act like they weren't eavesdropping.

"no.. i just assumed she was busy with work" kenma muttered

"hmm, i tried to ask ranpo-san but he's too busy" naomi chimed in as she hugged tanizaki's arm to her chest

"oya oya, sorry to barge in on the conversation-" kuroo interjected. the captain had a sly grin on his face as he walked towards the group. "but we just so happen to overhear something about our manager going missing?" kuroo mused

"yes, sorry if we're intruding" atsushi bowed

"but y/n-san went missing again, and the president ordered us to find her in under four hours" tanizaki sighed

"or else we get our asses handed to us" atsushi shuddered

kuroo and kenma gave each other a look and nodded along. "we'll try to look for her later" kuroo said "we'll let you guys know"

"thank you so much!" atsushi exclaimed with a smile "would you mind calling the agency if you find her?" he said as he handed them a piece of paper with the agency's number

"its really hard tracking her down" tanizaki says with a chuckle "when she chooses to disappear, it's like she never existed in the first place"

"anyways, we'll be on our way" atsushi excused "we've troubled you long enough"

"its no problem.." kenma muttered

naomi waved them goodbye as they walked away. the duo waving back meekly as they watch their retreating figures disappear.

"hey, you okay?" kuroo nudged his friend kenma nodded and looked down at his shoes "yeah.."

"i think i'll go look for her now" kenma muttered "eh? kenma, we could just go later" kuroo said with a raised brow

"im going. bye" kenma muttered, completely disregarding kuroo as he went straight out the door

"where's he going?" yaku asked as he peeked his head out the gym doors "he's gonna look for y/n" kuroo answered

"damn. what a simp" yamamoto sneered

"wow. that's rich coming from you."

"i swear to god.." kenma grumbled "if she ends up getting found in a ditch and i wasted all that time running around for nothing.." he scoffed

he's been running around the streets of tokyo, passing through every street and alleyway to try and look for the girl. so far he hasn't seen a single trace of her, not even a single person who has managed to pass by her.

"y/n.." kenma huffed out. he was currently by a riverbank, leaning against the metal railings of the bridge while he tried to catch his breath.

"you called?"

kenma jumped at the sudden emission of her oh-so-familiar voice, and turned around to face her "what the- y/n?! where did you come from?!" kenma shrieked out

"also, where have you been?! atsushi-kun and a bunch of people from your job came to the school today looking for you" he said

y/n chuckled and strode over to his side, jumping over the rails and sitting on the flat surface of the bars. "if i told you that the port mafia took me hostage and threatened to execute me, would you believe it?" she mused

"no."

"then i won't bother to say" she shrugged

kenma eyed her warily. her port mafia story could actually be believable, now that he thought about it. given as, her bandages were loosened and torn, almost as if they broke off with too much movement. and along with the dried blood resting upon her cheeks and hands.

"are you okay?" kenma asked worriedly

even if it was believable, it could've been just her trying to kill herself yet again. not that it was any better

"of course" she smiled "though my body is a bit sore.. chuuya really doesn't hold back"

kenma froze and slowly turned his head towards her with a blank and emotionless look on his face.

"chuuya doesn't what." kenma spat out "did you seriously disappear to hook up with that dog? that-that man child? that eyesore? that-"

"what are you talking about?" she laughed

kenma huffed and propped his elbow on the cold metal, resting his chin on his hand as he pouted

"you're really funny, kenma-kun" she mused

"really? cause im not laughing." kenma grumbled "i ran around the whole city for you, only to find out you ran off with some guy" his honey hued orbs eyed her down, watching her chuckle softly as the golden rays of the sun illuminated the surroundings around her

"y/n.." he mumbled "why did you really disappear?"

"i already told you" she replied with a sigh "the port mafia is truly a force to reckon with"

"that's why you gotta stay safe, kenma-kun" she mused "you never know who and when they'll strike next"

kenma sighed and nodded along. it was old news -- the port mafia, that is -- its been stirring up the whole city for the past few months.

"ne, kenma-kun" she called out "if we do end up dying alongside each other, i suggest we drown ourselves in this river." she said

she stared down at the flowing water, the golden colour of the setting sun reflecting off of it. "its clear and pretty, not much people are around.. its quite tranquil." she hummed

"i never really understood this.." kenma muttered "but why are you so intent on dying?"

"and i never understood you, and so many others." she replied "tell me, kenma.." she turned to face him, her bandaged hands loosely gripping the railings, as her legs and feet dangle off the ledge.

"do you really think there's any value in the act of living?"

kenma didn't answer. instead he stared at her, and her clouded eyes, each orb holding an unforgivable amount of sin and deciet that he could only imagine.

"well.. is there any value in the act of dying?" he asked back

she blinked dumbfoundedly at him, fairly shocked at his question.

"isn't there anything else you desire? life is kinda cool too yaknow?" kenma said in a sheepish tone

she stared at him a few minutes longer before averting her gaze. she chuckled and closed her eyes as the cold wind breezed past. "man fears death, and at the same time, man is drawn to death" she said

"its a singular event in one's life that no one may reverse" she hummed "and that is my greatest desire."

kenma didn't know how to reply to that, so he didn't. he simply looked down up at the setting sun, letting silence wash upon them both.

"hey kenma" she called out. kenma looked at her, curious and wary. "yes?" he asked

"wanna hang with an old friend with me?" she suggested with a soft smile

"me? won't that be intrusive though? i don't really know them.." kenma muttered nervously

"it's fine. he'd probably be happy i even talk to people my age" she said with a chuckle. she jumped off the railings and landed on the ground with a grin. she stretched her aching arms over her head and patted kenma's back.

"he's a lot like you" she mused "always saying life is worth living and all.."

"okay then.." kenma agreed reluctantly "but if i sense that person doesn't like me one bit, im leaving." he groaned out

"im pretty sure that won't happen" she chuckled sheepishly

"why are we in a cementary?" kenma grumbled

"is this where you kill us both?" he scoffed playfully "i wouldn't be surprised if you already have a hole dug for us"

she chuckled and shook her head "no, no" she mused "were just taking a small stroll" she cooed as she looked around the awfully empty surrounding "ah! there it is" she perked up "it's been so long since i went here that i almost forgot my way around"

kenma followed her as she skipped away, though he was quite confused, he didn't question her.

"hurry, kenma" she called out as she watched him struggle to walk faster "i hate you" he grumbled back, which she chose to ignore

she smiled softly as she stood infront of the oh-so-familiar grave.

"geez." she mumbled "its been so long since we hung out, odasaku"

"shame we couldn't meet at the usual place" she chuckled and sat down on the grassy ground. she leaned back on the gravestone, resting her back against it as she waited for kenma to arrive

"y/n?" on cue, kenma chimed in. he was panting slightly, most likely from running and walking around for so long "what are you doing?" kenma raised a brow at her

"kozume kenma-kun.." she called out

"yes?" he asnwered

"do you know whose grave this is?" she mused, pointing her thumb to the gravestone she was leaning on

kenma eyed the name engraved on the stone and shook his head. "no..but it's someone dear to you, right?"

"what makes you think that?" she hummed out in amusement

"i've never seen you pay visit to a grave before" kenma muttered. the pudding head hesitantly sat down infront of her, bowing at the grave before settling down on the ground.

"does it look like im visiting a grave to you?" she asked with curiosity

"it does.. why?"

she smiled softly and leaned her head back, letting it fall and her eyes to land straight at the cloudy sky "well, i thought of it as hanging out with a friend but.." she trailed off

"i guess that works too" she sighed out

kenma frowned as he watched her close her eyes. her smile faltering as a wave of comforting silence washed upon them. "im sorry" kenma muttered "i shouldn't have said anything.."

"its fine." she chuckled "its been years since he died." she smiled bitterly "i guess it's time someone snaps me out of my daydreams"

kenma didn't respond. he simply toyed with the grass on the ground and the few flowers littered around.

"yaknow, kenma" she said with a smile "you're the first person i brought here"

"me? why?" kenma asked in surprise and confusion

"because this friend of mine was a good man." she said "he told me to try and look for my reason to live."

"and i think i found it" she whispered as he looked into his eyes

kenma blinked in shock as he basked in her awfully heartwarming words.

"my reason to live is to die with you."

"of course. its gonna be about suicide again." kenma sighed dejectedly. "but y/n, if you think of me as your reason to live.. then i'll take it upon myself to keep you alive" kenma smiled at her, tucking his blond hair behind his ears as he kept his honey hued orbs trained on hers.

"kenma.." she teared up

she blinked repeatedly as she opened her mouth to speak.

"i.. I DON'T WANT THAT! I WANNA DIE WITH YOU!" she whined loudly "i already had our suicide planned! i even suggested the whole river thing a while ago!" she exclaimed

kenma deadpanned as he watched her ramble on and on about her ideal double suicide. "i really don't care." kenma groaned out "i don't want you to die." he whined "why do you keep trying to kill yourself"

"just because, okay?!"

"just for that, im gonna call your agency and hand you over" kenma sighed as he dialled the agency's number

"traitor!" she shrieked "kunikida-kun will undoubtedly beat me up" kenma ignored her as he started speaking on the phone.

"yes, she's with me.." he muttered "is she behaved?" he repeated the question as he sent her a pointed glare

"no, not really" he scoffed

"kenma, you're heartless!" she shrieked in horror

"cmon. let's atleast pay respects to your friend before we leave" kenma said with a sigh "dont worry, kenma-kun! i already thought this through" she grinned. she then pulled out a bottle of sake and a book and placed it on the ground.

"you brought him alcohol? seriously?" kenma furrowed his brows

"hey, it's two of his favourite things, okay?" she defended with a laugh

"do you know how ridiculous i looked while buying these things at the store?" she chuckled "they thought i was a madman or something!"

"i would've too" kenma answered back

"you're so mean to me, kenma" she pouted "anyways, we should go." she said as she dusted her pants and unravelled a thin layer of her torn bandages.

"i can't wait to tell you about this suicide method i learned about." she beamed. she tugged on his arm and pulled him away as she continued to blabber on his ear "apparently this one does the job right away!" she exclaimed

"can you believe it, kenma?"

"wow. crazy." he replied dryly

"yeah, and all we gotta do is shoot ourselves with these guns-"

"no."

"oh my, this almost feels like a welcome home party!" she cheered. she gave the detectives a close eyed smile while they simply stared back at her with a look of agitation and worry

"where the hell were you?!" kunikida exclaimed angrily as he tapped his foot on the ground

"the port mafia!" she answered back nonchalantly

they all perked up in surprise from her claim. "huh?! the port mafia?!"

"hai hai! but don't make a big deal about it!" she chuckled as she waved her hands dismissively

"you could've died!" kunikida exclaimed "now, now! i'd like to think of it as akutagawa-kun needing some attention that's all" she joked

"jesus christ" kunikida sighed as he adjusted his glasses "that boy could kill you and you still won't take him seriously"

"anyways, why is he here?" he asked as he pointed to kenma, who simply ignored him and avoided their eyes as he played on his phone

"oh! he's the one who found me, so i thought it'd be right for me to repay him" she smiled brightly as she squeezed kenma to her chest, all while he unbotherdly continued on with his game

"i've thought of so many fun things we could do back in my dorm, hehehe~" she chuckled mischievously as kenma's face paled. she only gripped him tighter when he tried to scurry away.

"i- i see.." kunikida stuttered out. he looked at them with wide eyes as she started squeezing him tighter while kenma tried to pry her off

"y/n, you're strangling me!" kenma huffed out "i know!" she grinned

"we'll leave you two alone then!" kenji said with his usual smile as he ushered the others away

"they're worse than tanizaki-kun and naomi-san.." atsushi shuddered "that's because she's trying to kill him" tanizaki sweat dropped

"and herself, as well" yosano sneered "go get your man!" she cheered as she sent y/n a sneaky wink

"yosano-san! don't encourage her!"

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sweet-cynical-writer · 4 years

Text

Author's Notes: On top of not writing as frequently, I wrote two fics. This one will be the sequel to the previous fic, “I couldn't care less.” I haven't written this much before but it likely won't happen again anytime soon.

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 1.7k

Additional Notes: Another thank you to @soukokuwu for proofreading! I'm not used to anything more than 500 words so the help is appreciated!

Fresh air and a clear sky.

You can already feel that today was going to be better than yesterday. What’s more, you were on your way to your favourite little flower shop in the corner of the city near the bay. You were planning to surprise your sweet new boyfriend with this spontaneous gift of a bouquet.

With a little hop in your steps, you made your way down the all-too-familiar stone pavement. Once in, your eyes sparkled at the sight of red camellias. It was perfect to express your desired message: “forever mine”.

You were about to reach out for it when someone else’s hand bumped yours. You drew yours back and apologised out of instinct, thinking you must’ve upset them.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't see you—"

Your heart skipped a beat the moment your gaze flicked up to meet the man in question. The surprise you felt made you take a few steps back. But then a comforting voice played in your head.

“Hey, don’t worry okay? If you ever feel panicked just imagine me beside you, holding your hand, just like this—” you felt a warmth around your palms— “and then take a minute to collect your thoughts before saying anything.”

He was your saviour in more ways than one, really. His words only reminded you of how patient he was. Kind, caring. A vast difference to how your old relationship was. You were better now. Way better than before. But now you found yourself looking your past in the eye, in its — Dazai’s — chocolate brown eyes.

The corners of your mouth upturned into a sweet smile, and now it was his turn to flinch.

"It's alright. I was only looking. I don't really have flowers to buy anyone."

What was this ache in his chest? And why did it only appear the moment he saw you? You were just another woman on his list, just another number he conquered. So why was he feeling bitter now that you seemed… happy without him?

The silence that surrounded you two was unnerving. It had been quite some time since you broke up, since he broke your heart. But thinking of the days that came after that — it was good. Life had been good to you. You had spent a huge fraction of your time bawling over him, until you realised it just wasn’t fair. How could it be when you could spend all that time to better yourself rather than being miserable over that bastard?

"I heard from Atsushi that you're doing well. I'm guessing you found some happiness after all?" The way he said it — so pointedly, sharp, leaving no room for negotiation. Much like pointing a dagger to your throat. It was a rhetorical question. Dazai already knew. He always knew.

But no, this time, you weren’t going to let him have the upper hand. You weren’t going to let him bask in the glory of steering everything in his direction. No, this time, you knew who you were. After all, your boyfriend’s words kept ringing in your head. No more grudges, no more spite.

"I took time to myself and found my footing again. Atsushi told me you haven't been doing too well.. is everything okay, Osamu?"

For a moment you thought you saw a hint of malice in those dark brown eyes.

"Everything fell apart after losing you. I tried to fill the hole inside me that you once filled so perfectly. And so sweetly too. I never realized how much you meant to me until you stopped calling out to me one day."

There he goes again, using such honeyed words to cast another spell on your fragile heart. Or rather, your once fragile heart. But not anymore. Part of you would always care for and love Dazai. But your intimate love for him ran dry like a dozen roses left out in the hot sun to wither.

And he could tell. He always could. He knew how your love for him, what he thought he had control over forever, was gone. He knew, just from your gaze, how you were looking at him like an old friend, nothing more. And the next few words that fell out of your rosy lips hurt him like thorns in his heart.

"I'm so sorry you're not well, Dazai. Truly I am. But I found happiness and I really hope you’ll find yours. Besides, you're free now. I really hope you’ll find it."

His happiness after you had been short-lived. After only a few parties did he notice how much he missed you. The way you would pick him up after he had a drunken night out, and cooked him hot meals to wake up to. Those light feathered kisses you trailed along his neck to gingerly rouse him from his slumber.

"Well, maybe you could embrace freedom with me sometime?"

It felt satisfying to have Dazai being so smitten towards you. Where Dazai used to always rule your heart, it was now only filled with your boyfriend. An image of crimson locks flashed in your mind and with a deep smile you shook your head, picking up the bouquet of camellias to leave.

But a sudden embrace from behind stopped you in your tracks.

"Let me at least see you again."

You knew what the old you would think. She would be anxious, questioning everything, each possibility. Things like: should you keep in contact with your ex even though it’d create problems with your current boyfriend? She’d think there was a chance that Dazai had changed for the better. But she’d also have to consider if he was just manipulating her. And that if he was, she’d lose Chuuya. She’d think that she could end up all alone again. She’d shiver at the thought of that.

But the current you? The one Chuuya loved with every fibre of his being? He loved you strong, he made you whole again when you never thought it could be possible. And you loved him all the same.

When he caught on that you weren’t moving, Dazai released his grasp on you. Did he scare you? Was it too much?

"Hey.. are you okay—"

You pulled away and turned to face him. “Be brave, stand tall, but most importantly, don't lose control.” Chuuya's words rang in your head and you regained composure.

"You know.. it's funny how you miss me more than you could ever love me, Dazai. I may have forgiven you in order to move on.. but I did it for me, not you. I'm happier with Chuuya now. You had that chance already."

The tears were building up in your eyes and you had to turn away to not let him see. You didn’t want him to misunderstand. This was just the closure you never got, the hurt you never got to feel when he so abruptly left you. He would see this as an opening, not a close. He would try to snake his way back into your life, and you didn’t want that.

With that, you forced your legs to move forward, to move away from him. To move on from your past. It was hard — to say goodbye to someone who had once meant so much to you. That would explain the constriction in your chest, making it hard to breathe. But you knew that better things would be coming. And that made it easier.

***

A few minutes away from the flower shop — there he was, waiting for you by a bench. Right on time, never late. It was a small gesture to many, but to you it meant the world. He was a busy man, a Port Mafia executive, and yet the one person he would turn the world over for — it would only be you.

You ran over to him, your hands wrapped around his neck and his own snaked around your waist. You caught a whiff of the sweet cologne you had gifted him as a present after the first month together. This familiarity, this comfort, this warmth. It could never get old. You’d never felt this way. And it wouldn’t be the same with anyone else.

Both of you didn’t have to say a thing, and yet you both knew what the other was feeling. It was something special you shared with Chuuya, and only Chuuya. This bond was what you cherished the most. With him, you didn’t have to keep second-guessing anything, not his actions, not his words. He never tried to push you into anything, unlike a certain someone. Even now, when you were sobbing slightly. Chuuya never pushed you to explain.

The two of you walked home hand in hand, with you offering him the bouquet only then. You had smiled, and your dried tears had made tracks on your skin. He accepted the bouquet, giving you a quick peck on the forehead.

"My sweet love.. these are perfect. Let's get you in a better mood hmm?"

Once you were home, you let him take you by the hand to the bedroom. Chuuya knew you preferred to be pampered before talking about what was on your mind. You just needed to relax.

He began peppering your face with kisses. It made you giggle — how soft and gentle the way his lips pressed against your skin. And the way his fingers twirled your hair playfully felt comforting. Especially the way he would lean in and whisper every kind of doting compliment he could think of.

"You're so gorgeous, my love. I'm the luckiest man alive to have an absolute sweetheart as my lover."

There was a loud buzz coming from the nightstand on your side of the bed. Usually, you would check it yourself but Chuuya insisted on looking at it for you since he was closer. He peered over and the caller ID read Osamu Dazai.

"Who is it, Chuuya?"

He silenced your phone before turning his attention back to you. Chuuya ran his hand down your shoulder to take your hand in his.

"Nothing important. Let's continue where we left off, my love."

You wanted to check for yourself but quickly shook the urge off when his lips locked with yours. Chuuya was right. No matter who it was, it didn’t matter. Right here, right now, only he did. You fell into his love, fell into the way his lips pressed against yours. You drowned in him, and you thought only of him.

And this ocean, this one you called home, you would happily drown in.

#bungou stray dogs #nakahara chuuya #bungou stray dogs chuuya #chuuya bsd #bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #bungou stray dogs chuuya nakahara #bsd imagines #bsd fluff #chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #reader x chuuya #fluff writing #zai writes #zai does shitty edits

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dapper-ships-herself · 4 years

Text

I hear wedding bells 💜 ~

So yeah, I figured I would probably just do the one prompt from yesterday for @fofebruary that I posted, then last night I got soft thinking about the poetic beauty of mafia! Gillian and Dazai finally getting married, so here we are.

The proposal actually happens a while before they start for real dating.

There's a moment sometime during the story, where they've kept having to see each other through all these events and having to confront their feelings and their pasts and each other, and one night after an arc gets wrapped up, Dazai comes home and I'm just sitting in his house like "what's up, we need to have a talk."

And we pour our hearts out and it's a struggle because we're both pretty emotionally supressed, but we both know this is long over due and needs to be done, and we talk about why Dazai left me and the mafia without a word, how we've both been feeling and dealing with everything, and so on. Then I get up and walk by him on my way to the door but he catches my wrist (a little parallel to our reunion, if you remember from that piece I turn away from him and he tries to grab me but I vanish into the shadows before he can, so this is like, there's no more running from each other, no more turning our backs, we're connected and we can't deny that), and he says "I've missed you, Gillian."

And then:

Gillian glanced down at their joined hands, the soft moonlight making it seem as if they glowed in the faint light. She looked back up into Dazai's earnest eyes. "I... I've missed you too, Osamu." Her smile is small, but it's genuine.

He's not done talking yet, though. "I know I abandoned you, I left you alone in a horrible nightmare, and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry. I can say I thought I was doing what was right and best for you all I want, but that will never change the fact that I was wrong. Hurting someone like you is the greatest sin I've committed, and if nothing else what I will likely burn for. But, if there's any reason for me to stay alive it's to spend my life making up for that mistake."

His eyes hold hers in an iron gave, so captivating and strong that she wondered for a moment if his true ability is some kind of hypnosis. "What are you saying?" She whispered.

He moved, still looking her in the eyes and never letting go of her hand, so he was kneeling on the floor in front of her. "I promise that you will never be alone again, that I will never leave you alone again. I will never let you go again, and I will remain with you forever, dedicated to you."

"What, you know I'm still in the mafia right? And you're in the agency? How- How are you supposed to stay by my side when we're enemies?"

"I know all that, but that's not what matters to me. Even if our organizations clash, no matter which side either of us is on, the mafia, the agency, light, or dark, it won't make me break my promise. Not again. I betrayed your trust once, please let me spend every opportunity I can fixing the bond I broke." His series face changes to have a small smile as he gazes up at her. "You've said before that we were the only ones keeping you sane within the mafia. I always thought that was funny, as I never particularly felt I did anything to warrant that. If anyone was a bright spot in that place, it was you."

Her hand trembled and she had to bite down on her lip "I'm nothing but darkness, how can someone like me be anyone's light?"

"One day, I promise that I will tell you everyway you've made this life worth living." His thumb rubs across the back of her hand, and he breaks their eye contact only to close his eyes and kiss her skin. "Will you wait with me for that day? When we can both be together?"

They both knew that whatever this not fully spoken thing between them could not bud in their current circumstances, but... but could it really one day bloom into something beautiful?

"Okay," she said "I will wait with you."

---

That's basically how it goes!

Then there's more story stuff, eventually everyone thinks I get killed at one point but I survive and spend some time with an all girl biker gang (more on them later) and have a fun female empowerment adventure, come back to Yokohama after a bit and reveal I'm still alive, but I learned some stuff and finally decide I no longer have to feel chained to Ogai and after a tense talk he lets me leave the mafia because no matter what I am his daughter and he does care, and not right away but I do join the agency and a bit after that Dazai and I start for real dating and a while after that we make good on that proposal~

Dazai's wedding party consists of Kunikida as best man, Atsushi, and maybe Tanizaki and a sort of begrudging Ranpo (who's mainly there for the cake).

Ango could be in his party to, but he might also just be a guest.

My wedding party consists of Yosano, the leader of the biker gang (the whole gang wanted to be in the wedding party but it was agreed the leader would represent them), and Chuuya.

Yumeno is the ring bearer, and Kyouka is the flower girl along with maybe Kenji.

Ogai does walk me down the aisle, and the whole thing is a neutral occasion for the Port Mafia and the detective agency and there's quite a few mafia members there including Higuchi (who cries), Akutagawa, and the black lizard. It's a whole party of celebrating not only live but also our differences and it's a night of no fighting and coming together!

Kouyou definitely cries but pretends she's not.

Fukuzawa is the official. Or maybe it'd be funny if that guy who heads the special abilities division did it, that guys definitely there and gets drunk either way.

And Odasaku is watching the whole time, proud of these two crazy kids who managed to find love in the dark.

Bonus, the wedding outfit sketches:

(the skirt is not see through, though there is a see through fabric around it, I just wanted to sketch the shoes too. The sleeves are see through save for the embroidery.)

(not to be completely shameless but reblogs are appreciated ✌️)

#self ship #selfship #self shipping #selfshipping #self ship wedding #self ship community #promomyselfship #dapper draws #dazian #dapper inserts: mafia #dapper inserts #are you watching us odasaku? are you smiling down on us right now?#yeah. you kids have done well for yourselves

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nadrianne · 5 years

Text

Gone with the Petals (Chuuya Nakahara)

You already knew,yet you keep this façade of yours.

You knew he loves someone else, yet you cant bring yourself to stop loving him.

You knew you would die in a few months, yet you still look at him with love and admiration.

You knew that no matter what,You would either die with these feelings for him or live with no particular emotions for him.

"Y/n? Are you okay?" The red haired executive asked as you coughed,covering your white handkerchief with red hue. You nodded in response to your,practically, boss.

"Y-Yes, Sir .." You stuttered,clenching the piece of cloth on your hand. "E-Excuse me for a while" You could feel that the coughing fit would start soon,you slowly feel the petals in your throat.

Chuuya only dismissed you. What he sees was only a sick subordinate. nothing more,nothing less. You knew that. You knew that you're only a subordinate to him.

Walking through the hallway of the Port Mafia Headquarters, you started to feel the wave of dizziness as your vision blurs,soon your surroundings were now enveloped in black.

"The doctors said its Hanahaki Disease. I can't believe this..." The executive, Kouyou Ozaki said as she gracefully sat on the chair beside the hospital bed-which you are currently on.

"A promising subordinate gets this ridiculous excuse of a disease? Tell me, for who do these feelings exist? Tell them immediately about it so it may lessen your burden or yet, Have the operation perform in a few days." Her voice shows concern. You only looked at your superior.

"I'm sorry ma'am... and to answer your question,its for my superior, Nakahara Chuya. It would be impossible for me to tell him what I feel because...I know he already loves someone else."

"I'll have the doctor schedule your operation next week" With that, Kouyou stood up and left the room.

You feel really lonely.

You feel confused.

Should you tell Chuuya about your feelings?

_ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - _

The day of the operation comes close... You can't possibly tell him how you feel.

Besides, even if he knew what you feel...He would only reject you.

The woman who captured his heart was still unknown to you. Never have he ever showed us a picture of his lover. I mean who are we, but his underlings working for him?

The door suddenly opened to see the hat wearing executive with his arms full of baskets of fruits.

"Oi, You better be okay. You hear me?" Chuuya said,placing the baskets on the table beside you.

"I have an operation this week,sir. I might need some time off of work" This annoyed Chuuya.

"Look, You are one of those people who are diligent and loyal to the mafia. We can't lose you."

ah... so its just for the Mafia and not for you.

You faked a smile. "Don't worry,sir. I'll be good as new when I recover"

"Call me Chuuya... well Chuuya-san if you like. Anyways,what is your diagnosis ?"

so his Ane-san didn't told him about it.

"Dont worry about me,Chuuya-san" shrugging the topic off. He won't buy it so Chuuya asked Kouyou about the diagnosis.

"She was diagnosed with Hanahaki disease..."

_---------------------_

"Sir- We cant let the patient do that!" You can hear the doctor argue with someone just right out your door.

"Just today! Only today, I'm sure she feels like trapped in this hospital." The manー Chuuya argued back as he opened the door to your room.

"Get up, We are going to go to some places today,Y/n" He said, his look almost terrifying. The doctor was hesistant but your superior glared at him and lets you go only for a day.

First, you went to eat at a local restaurant, a traditional Japanese Cuisine restaurant. You can see the wonderful view of the restaurant's garden as you and Chuuya wait for your orders.

After, Chuuya stopped by a shop. A jewelry shop. He eyed the simple yet expensive diamond necklace.

"Do you think she'll like this?" He asked you as he makes you try the necklace. His face close to yours as he was putting on the necklace,locking it behind your neck. You can feel blood rushing to your cheeks. In the end, Chuuya bought the necklace.

Lastly, You both spent the rest of your day at the Port Side. You look at your superior and smiled.

"Thank you for today,Chuuya-san" at least the pain eased a bit.. He gave you a gentle smile and sat down on the stairs,letting you both have the view of the beautiful sea.

"I brought you here... because.. Y/n.. I want to make you feel better." Chuuya said,his bossy demeanor dropped. You let your head lean on his shoulder, the disease is not only about coughing flower petals.

"Chuuya-san,I have a small favor to ask" you started, the feeling of nervousness sprouts within you.

"Can... you please say 'I Love You' to me?" you asked,knowing its an indirect confession. Chuuya looked like a fish out of water. More or less he was speechless.

"I.. Y/n... You can't make someone say that easily..You can't force someone to love you back." he reasoned, those three words,eight lettered phrase scared him. He doesn't want to give her false hope.

"Y/n... those words. its really special.Besides being in love with someone... is taboo in the mafia. I mean,look at what happened to you!I don't want to give you any false hope. I'm sorry I can't do what you ask of me. " You smiled. You should have expected this answer. He already gave you his answer.

Rejection

_-------------_

Bursting through the executive's office was one of Chuuya's men who are assigned to guard Y/n.

"SIR, Y/N CALLED HER OWN OPERATION OFF AND DISCHARGED HERSELF FROM THE HOSPITAL!" This caught Chuuya's attention.

At the very same time,Kouyou entered his office. Looking back and forth between Chuuya and the guard,she spoke.

"I suggest you go find her. You are the only who can save her,after all." He didn't need to be told twice. He quickly grabbed his coat and hurriedly looks out for you. He first went to the hospital only to see your room being tidied and clean

as if you weren't there in the first place.

He couldn't accept that you just went up and go missing. He rushes out of the building,looking left and right for you. Maybe you havent gone far? He tried to be optimistic. Trying not to let the worse scenarios play his mind while he searches for you.

It felt like he was hit by a bus when the realization dawned at him

"She got diagnosed with Hanahaki Disease"

"Chuuya-san.. can you please tell 'I Love You' to me?"

"SIR, Y/N CALLED THE OPERATION OFF AND DISCHARGED HERSELF FROM THE HOSPITAL"

It was him. You are in love with him and he just realized it now.Countless calls were made, screaming your name in the middle of the busy streets of Yokohama. He couldn't find you. He almost lost hope until he remembers the Port side that you two spent the evening one time.

Out of breath,He arrived at the Port side. Your frail body on the stairs as you quietly watch the sea and ships. Then you spoke.

"You know... I wanted this to be my resting place. I want to die while I hear the large ships going to the port,birds flying over and the waves crash against the sea wall" her voice rang through his head. Seeing her in this state,it broke him.

"I knew I'd die soon.. and I commend you for figuring it out"

"When would you tell me?"

"Does it even matter?You are the one who told me,being in love within the mafia is taboo."

"I could have helped yo-"

"You also said that you cant force someone to love you back. So... tell me,does it even matter if I confessed to you?"

Chuuya couldn't answer you. He didn't know what or how to answer you.

"I would rather die with feelings for you. Knowing that in my life, I loved a man named Chuuya Nakahara... than live but knowing that once... that this," you pointed at you chest, "belonged to the man named Chuuya Nakahara.." you smiled at him sadly. "If only things were different..."

_--------------_

You were found lying peacefully in your bed, flowers-lilacs blossoming out of your chest. it was a gruesome yet fascinating sight. Blood covered the lilacs' petals,staining is beauty as it also stained your now pale,cold,lifeless body.

You were gone

Gone with the petals

#angst #chuuya nakahara #nakahara chuuya #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs angst #sk writes #x reader #hanahaki disease

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riyuu-bsd · 5 years

Text

Catch me When I Fall [Osamu Dazai x Reader]

"Catch me when I fall, okay, D-Dazai-Kun?" the girl said, smiling shyly.

"Sure thing, (L/n)-Chan," the brunette chimed, holding his arms out expectantly.

The girl blushed, looking up at him.

How could he have forgotten?

Her shy nature prevented her from being upfront with what she wanted, everything having to be explained to the detail or she would brush it off as her being silly, and remind herself to follow the plan as best she could.

Which meant she probably wouldn't have just initiated a trust fall.

"Catch me, (Y/n)~" he grinned, falling back to break away from the awkwardness of the previous situation. Fussing slightly, she held out her arms the way he had, catching him as he fell. He smiled, looking up at her from her hold. She gave a small smile in return, face tinted pink. He lifted himself back up, standing up straight. The smile remained on his face as he leaned down to her level, placing his finger on her nose and adding a small "boop". Her face flushed bright red, quickly hidden by her hands. He let out a small chuckle.

"D-Dazai-Kun..!" she blushed, peeking between her fingers, "D-don't laugh at me..!"

"Sorry, (L/n), you're just too cute," he flirted, only sending her further into embarassment.

Those were the better days.

When they were happy.

When she was there.

When his life had meaning.

But he disappeared without a trace, a note left at his bedside the only evidence she had that he ever even happened.

The soft knock at the door was left unanswered, the (h/c)ette cautious to knock any louder and be a disruption.

"D-Dazai-Kun?" she called up meekly, the window not flung open by her close friend.

She began to worry, knocking slightly louder.

The choking grasp of anxiety gripped at her throat, the girl afraid to be a bother.

A concoction of anxiety and concern kicked in, the fragile substitute for adrenaline ushering for her to open the door, to check on him, to make sure he was safe.

She was well aware of his habits, knowledgeable of why there were so many scars littering his body. No matter how many times she urged him to stop, they kept appearing.

Until one day when he threw away the razor, grabbing her hand boldly.

"Better, (L/n)-Chan? I'll stop with that, and I'll make sure that I won't do it again, just for my best friend."

The words stuck with her. He had stopped because she was his reason to hope for a better tomorrow. That wasn't something that she would let go of so easily.

"Osamu?!" she called, opening the door and running up to his room.

She flung open his door, bursting in.

He wasn't there.

On the bedside table there was a note, adressed to her in his somewhat scribbly handwriting.

Dear (Y/n),

Hey. It's me, Osamu. I know you'll be mad, but trust me, it's for the best. I'll see you again, don't worry. I just feel like there's more out there. So I'm going. Going to Yokohama, you always said you loved it there. I won't go back to my old habits, trust me. When you're a detective there, maybe you can help me out a few times. I was planning to do this a few weeks ago, but it was your birthday, and I wasn't gonna pull a runner without celebrating with my best friend one more time. I couldn't run away and risk ruining a time when you should be happy. I couldn't. I can say any amount of insults to anyone, irritate someone until their skin crawls. And yet when it comes to you I can't bring myself to lift a finger. That's why I'm going, I'm going to be strong enough to protect you. Just don't forget me, okay? Remember me as Osamu Dazai, your best friend forever.

Xoxo, Dazai

Salty tears streamed down her face, her silent cries blurring out the rest of the world.

He was gone.

And so naturally.

It drove daggers through her heart, sent her anxiety into a flurry, sent her into a spiral of depression.

But that was all in the past, right?

Walking past the dark walls of Port Mafia Base, the (h/c)ette cowered slightly behind the short male guiding her.

"A-Are you sure I can help with this mission, Nakahara-San?" she stammered, clutching her notes to her chest tightly.

"The boss said to bring you here, but personally I'm not so sure," the executive said with a shrug, swinging the door open,

"Ah, (Y/n)-San," the cold, monotonous tone called, a gloved hand motionig for her to come closer, "This mission involves someone you're.. Personally connected with."

She bit her quivering lip, looking down at the file on her lap.

"As the top strategist of the Mafia, I'm sure this mission is no issue to you," Mori chuckled,

"I.." she choked, "..Of course, Mori-San.."

It came out a choked whisper, tears falling down her face as a few stray strands of (h/c) hair fell over her face.

"Magnificent, (Y/n)-San! You are excused, please take your leave."

She nodded, hiding her face behind her sleeve as she spared one last glance at the name printed on the file.

Dazai Osamu.

Walking through the streets of Yokohama, (Y/n) stopped all of a sudden, looking towards the well known armed detective agency.

The place Dazai now worked.

Her heart ached, desire to see him burning holes in her self restraint.

"But.." she whispered, "I'm his enemy now.. I work with the one person he hates most.."

Her words of doubt did nothing, years of pent up emotion driving her forward.

She gave in, dashing forward towards the building.

Not wanting to wait for the elevator, she ran up the stairs, breath heavy from the adrenaline and emotion building up inside of her. Tears had pooled in her eyes once more as she slammed her fists onto the dark, spruce desk of the agency,

"I have to speak with Osamu," she panted, desperate to hear his voice once more.

"Oh, Dazai-Kun? You just missed him, I think he was headed to-"

"Missed him?" she repeated, cutting off the freckled boy mid sentence as she began to grip at the desk.

"All these years.." she whispered, breath shaking through her tears, "All these years and I still can't find him."

The blonde who had attempted to help her looked at her with an expression of concern, stepping forward to console her until she turned on her heel, slumping out of the agency.

The orange glow of sunset glowed softly against her features, (e/c) eyes still misty with tears. She continued to sulk, gliding through the streets with her eyes glued to the pavement.

"All these years.." she whispered, "And I still can't forget my best friend.."

She was hoping to hear his voice, just behind or beside her, to finish the phrase.

But she never heard his "forever".

"Hey, Kenji-San, anything happen while I was out?" the brunette said, a small smile on his face as he stepped into the office,

"Oh! Dazai-Kun! Someone was looking for you earlier, she looked really upset when she heard you'd just left," the blonde recalled, face twisting into one of sympathy at the memory of her broken expression.

Part of him hoped, desperately, that it was a particular someone. But he knew it was stupid; how could someone be remembered from a single note.

"Hey Ranpo-Kun, how likely is it that someone could remember their childhood best friend from a note?" he called, tone strained slightly and face still a blank smile.

"It depends," the detective sighed, looking up from his console to meet the chocolate gaze of the ex-mafioso, "But I wouldn't think it's all that likely at all."

He sighed,

"Of course.." he whispered, running a hand through his hair as he sat down, no doubt piquing the interest of most of the agency.

"D-Dazai-San?" Atsushi began, concerned at what could possibly rattle his superior so much.

The man tapped his foot against the tile floor restlessly, grabbing a pen and scrawling down notes.

His subordinate looked on in confusion, trying to decipher the meaning of Dazai's scribbles.

Your best friend forever.

Four words.

Four words was almost all of what she was left with.

A pathetic excuse of a goodbye and the reminder he existed.

Even in the note, he couldn't muster the courage to tell her.

The girl he missed so much.

The girl he felt so much guilt for.

The girl who saved him countless times.

The girl he loved.

And he left just before she could find him.

"I'm going on a walk," he announced, turning and leaving.

"Why.." she whispered, pulling the small note out from her pocket.

I'll see you again.

Her eyes lingered over those words, the cold air brushing her hair behind her.

Leaning back against the barrier, she closed her eyes, tears falling down her face.

"Where are you, Osamu..?" she whispered, "Am I stupid to think you'd still remember me..?"

She heard the hitch of someones breathing, eyes opening as her gaze shot to the direction of the noise.

"..(Y-Y/n).." a voice whispered, before a tall, lean man stepped forward, brown hair blown to the side, half covering his eyes.

Her own eyes widened, she let out a small whimper,

"O-Osamu.." she whispered, jumping up and running towards him. The man stiffened under her touch, before melting into the hug she initiated. She wept against his coat, gripping tightly as though he would disappear at any moment.

"O-Osamu.. You're really here, right? It's really you i-isn't it?!" she cried, the taller man running a hand through her hair and nodding,

"It's me, (Y/n).." he cooed, caressing (h/c) tresses and holding onto her hand. She continued to cry, leaning her weight onto him.

"So, what brings you here?" he whispered, letting out a dry chuckle,

"I.."

She was working alongside his enemy, Chuuya Nakahara, in an attempt to kill him off.

"I can't.." she whispered, cuddling into him before breaking away.

"Can't what?" he asked, still holding her hand, "Please, (Y/n) talk to me, I won't leave you again,"

She let out a shaky exhale, tears still falling down her face,

"I'm working with the Port Mafia.." she whispered, "My current mission.. Involves you.."

"Oh."

Dazai held her close, her feeble resistance giving in to his hold.

"I'm sorry.." she breathed,

"It's okay, (Y/n), it's okay," he whispered, "I'll be here for you, I'll protect you, you'll be safe," he promised.

She gave a small nod, choking on words she couldn't muster.

"I'm sorry.." he cooed.

"Morning, (Y/n)," Dazai whispered as she cracked her eyes open,

"O-Osamu.." she breathed, holding him close and nestling herself as close to him as possible.

He smiled to himself, the walls of his apartment feeling complete and safe with her around.

"I'm so sorry, (Y/n).." he whispered, holding her close as he caressed her hair, the girl shaking her head against his chest,

"No.. I'm sorry.. I looked to the Mafia for protection.. I'm so sorry, Osamu.." she apologised, staying close to him.

"Don't be."

She felt whole.

Complete.

He was back, by her side.

So why did she feel the urge to disappear?

Sure, Osamu had changed.

But not too much.

He was still the same loveable person she knew as a child.

So what was different?

What had caused her to feel the choking strain of anxiety whenever she was with him?

What was it?

"Idiot.." she cursed to herself, "I know what it is.."

She sighed.

"I love him, don't I?"

"Why.." she whispered, "Why.."

"Why."

She repeated the word, stepping up onto the ledge of the building.

She leaned back, falling.

Tears began to start, regret kicking in moments too late.

She smiled through the inevitable pain, uttering her last words feebly.

"Catch me when I fall, Osamu-San."

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #dazai osamu #oneshot #angst #x reader #dazai x reader

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