#i'm fine. i have a meeting with my therapist next week. i'm fine.

[doom-dreaming]

how do i tell my mother that coming into my room calling me "lazybones" if i'm still in bed at any time past 7 a.m. for YEARS has done near-irreparable damage to my self-esteem and created shame about being able to just fucking relax?

#but she can rot on the couch playing mahjong on her ipad all day it's fine #i don't feel at all angry when i come home dirty and tired from work #and she tells me i'm making dinner #while she sits curled up on the couch with a cup of tea and a book #sure mom. let me just take a shower and i'll get right on that #but please do let me know how hungry you are five times while i'm trying to scrape together some energy #i need to get out of this house #some small part of me kinda hopes she just doesn't come back from vacation #and. and . #as i'm giving her a VERY NICE vacation pedicure last night #she goes 'hey could i maybe use your hardcase on this trip? it'd just be easier in a customs search' #oh the brand new really nice hardcase suitcase that you got me for my birthday? that one? #not one of the four other suitcases you own? #sure. go ahead and take it #anythign else i can get you queen? #my belongings are not my own #my life is not my own #my time is not my own #yes i know i have control issues but i think i've earned them a little bit #i never learned to set boundaries and could never say no to my mom without being reprimanded #and i feel like a shell of a person because she's belittled my individuality if it doesn't conform to her worldview #and i feel like i'm dangling this husk in front of people and saying 'yep this is me. my whole essence' #all because i can't say no to her taking my fucking suitcase like it was never really mine to begin with #like she's just entitled to all my shit #i'm fine. i have a meeting with my therapist next week. i'm fine.

[copperbadge]

I've been putting off asking this, because I didn't want to fuck with anyone's process, and I know it can be hard to talk about therapy or hard to do it if you've talked about it, but like...people who are in therapy and feel you're deriving benefit from it, what do you do in it? Not generic stuff like "work on my problems", specifically what do you say and do? What do they do? What is the benefit you feel you get?

The problem I'm having is that it feels like how Catholic friends have talked to me about going to confession as kids before they fully understood how it worked, making stuff up to confess because they hadn't done much to warrant confession. I keep trying to come up with things therapy could help with, stuff to bring to the meetings, and not finding much. My therapist is fine, it's not that she's unhelpful; she does the stuff a therapist is supposed to do, like validating or active listening, but I don't really need validation and I don't feel any benefit from just talking about stuff. I think my access to catharsis is very narrow if it's present at all.

I tried bringing therapy types of problems to her, interpersonal stuff, but most of those I don't really have a say in solving, and the ones that I can influence I generally have already worked on. It feels like roughly 99% of my problems could be solved with money (admittedly more money than I have or probably ever will) and the other 1% aren't...solvable. Like there isn't much a therapist can do about the AC being off for the next three weeks in my building.

But my only other experience of this is when I was a kid and didn't get a say in it, and that generally felt like an obscure form of punishment. And I know people do get something out of it! It's not me trying to take a passive aggressive swipe at therapy. I'm just perplexed as to what I'm meant to be doing to make it useful. I feel like I'm missing the point, but also like maybe I'm just not someone the point was meant for.

I'm not trying to call myself the picture of mental health or anything but like, you can't talk-therapy ADHD into submission, and the other issues aren't under my control. I tried floating the idea of improving my emotional regulation but I suspect this is as good as it gets, because there doesn't seem to be any kind of process or system for fixing that. I don't especially anticipate it or feel better or worse about things after, I just log off the call and get on with fixing dinner. It's a non event other than the copay and an hour spent on Zoom. Which I can spare, I don't mind the money or the time, it's just....why am I doing it?

So, what do you do? Because if I get answers about stuff I'm not doing then I can try that, and if I get answers about stuff I've tried, maybe this just isn't for me. Wouldn't be the first time and won't be the last that I'm not quite built for something that other people find valuable. Although admittedly usually it's a tv show or a video game and not mental health treatment.

#sam has adhd #not yet fired from therapy

[archangeldyke-all]

ok but imagine injured boxer sevika x physical therapist reader omggggggg 🙇🏾‍♀️🙇🏾‍♀️

omg... i am imagining vividly...

men and minors dni

you're her personal physical therapist-- meaning she pays for you to come to all of her matches, to work with her trainers in the gym to make sure she doesn't injure herself while working out, and to help her recover from every twist, sprain, break and tear she gets.

it didn't start that way. it started with her coming to see you at your sports therapy clinic once a week.

but she liked you. not just personally, but professionally too. you were the first PT she'd been to that seemed to actually listen to her, to take her medical history into consideration when treating her, to help her stretch and heal without it ever really hurting. so over time, she made you part of her team.

she liked you personally too, don't get me wrong.

she was obsessed with you. it became increasingly difficult for her to look you in the eye when you would stretch her, your hands so warm, gripping her so firmly, a concentrated look on your face as you examine her own face for any hint of pain.

nearly every time she meets with you she has to jerk off after.

she takes to closing her eyes when you're touching her-- worried that you'll see the lust in her eyes you so often mistake for discomfort.

she loves that you come to her matches, loves seeing you in the crowd, biting on your lip as you watch her get beaten to a pulp. she knows you're just trying to figure out what she's hurt or pulled, new diagnoses and exercises flashing in your mind as she fights. but sometimes she thinks she catches a bit of lust in your gaze.

what she loves most is when she wins a round and looks out to the crowd in victory, and catches you scrambling from your seat to cheer for her, a grin on your lips.

anyways, it's her off season, and sevika misses you. she's supposed to be recovering, keeping training to a minimum, letting her body rest. unfortunately, that means she doesn't get to see you as often.

she thinks she'll be fine. but when the three week mark rolls around and sevika's only seen you in passing for one or two hours every week, she gives in.

she texts you one late night, pleasantly surprised when you reply immediately.

'shit' she says.

'shit?? what shit??' you write back. she chuckles at your panic.

'went for a jog and twisted my ankle. the bad one. :/'

'fuck sev.' you reply.

then a second later: 'i'm coming over tomorrow. remember RICE!'

'rest, ice, compress, elevate, i know. see u tomorrow.' sevika says, a smile forming on her lips.

what sevika forgets to consider, is that you're a professional, and she's not a good actress.

you sit her down on her couch, poking and prodding at her ankle. she reacts strangely to your initial exam, telling you something hurts one minute but being fine the next. you chalk it up to sevika downplaying her pain, a coping mechanism of hers-- something the two of you have been improving on together.

but when you make her get up and walk back and forth across the living room, you get suspicious. her limp doesn't add up. on one lap around the room, she even limps with the wrong leg. you chuckle from your seat on her couch.

"what?" she asks. you shake your head, motioning her toward the couch. she plops down beside you.

"sevika..." you say. she nods at you. "why are you faking an injury?" you ask. she freezes. "you need to get out of a meeting or something? i'll sign a letter if you need-- don't tell anyone, obviously but--"

"no i--" she laughs, shakes her head and scratches her neck. "it's stupid." she says. you nudge her.

"tell me."

"i missed you." she says. you blink.

"oh." you say. a smile slowly works it's way up your face. "oh."

"shut up." she grunts out. you laugh.

"i missed you too." you say. sevika huffs beside you.

"it's stupid." she grunts. you laugh.

"no it's not! it means we're friends!"

"yeah, but i don't wanna be friends with you!" she says. you blink.

"...okay? i'll leave then. y'know it's okay to make friends from work that's how most adu--" sevika cuts you off with a swift peck to your lips. she leans away with a nervous look in her eye.

you giggle. a lot of things start to make a lot of sense to you, very quickly.

"shut--"

"'s this why you're always making sex faces when i stretch you?" you ask. sevika's jaw drops. your smile grows.

you scramble to crawl in sevika's lap before she can get up from her seat. she sits back in shock as you straddle her legs and rest your hands on her shoulders.

"i mean don't get me wrong it's hot as hell, i just wasn't sure if it was me or your masochistic tendencies." you say. sevika blinks.

"i don't have masochistic tendencies!"

"you get beat up for a living!" you say, laughing. sevika pouts. you lean in and peck her lower lip. her pout disappears as she smiles against your lips. she wraps her arms around your waist.

"i missed you." sevika sighs against your mouth. you grin.

"missed you too." you say.

"you wanna... help me stretch?" sevika asks. you blink down at her.

"was that a come-on?" you ask, bursting into laughter.

"sorry." she groans.

"take me to your bedroom before you turn me off completely." you say, giggling.

she tosses you over her shoulder and sprints to her room.

taglist!

@lesbeaniegreenie @fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay

#sevika #sevika imagine #sevika x reader #sevika arcane #sevika x you

[krakenartificer]

Notes on therapist selection

(From someone who is getting a good grade in Having a Therapist, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve)

Some friends were discussing their work to find a therapist today, and I noticed some unspoken assumptions that can sometimes get in the way of finding someone who's a good fit for your recovery needs, especially around deciding what specializations to look for when no one covers the full range of your crazy. So a list of things to think about that -- as always -- may or may not be useful to anyone except me.

1) On overlapping specializations Anyone who specializes in ADHD or Autism will also have experience dealing with trauma, because every school system I've ever encountered has been traumatizing for NDs. They may or may not call it trauma in their own minds, but they know how to handle "a bad thing happened in my past and it's fucking up my present" problems.

Likewise, everyone who specializes in trauma has experience with anxiety. PTSD was, until 2013, classified as an anxiety disorder. DSM-V puts it in its own category for presumably good reasons, but everyone with PTSD has anxiety (or close enough that you can't specialize in trauma without knowing how to deal with anxiety).

That said ... 2) On picking your therapist based on vibes

Vibes are really more important than specialization. Specialization is important if, like, you have one (1) specific problem and you are looking for a solution for that problem. Like, if your life is fine except that you have ADHD and the executive dysfunction is causing you to be unable to write English essays, then you definitely want an ADHD specialist. But if your opening session is going to be

Therapist: So what brings you in? Me: Well! -straightens lapels- -pulls out easel- -pulls out prepared presentation notes- I have a list

Or

Therapist: So what brings you in? What changes are you looking to make? Me: This -gestures- Therapist: You just pointed to all of you Me: Yes.

then any generic psychologist is as good as any other. You got shit in your head and you gotta detangle it and it's all snarled together anyway, so it's a lot more important that you find someone who you're willing to be working with for years.

3) On finding "the one"

Odds are really really good that you're gonna have more than one therapist in your recovery arc. I did 2 years with one who specialized in psychological impacts on physical health, and it did so. much. for me, and I don't regret it for a moment, but also ... I reached a point where that wasn't the specialization I needed anymore, and also the shit in my head I needed to deal with was the kind of shit that (for trauma reasons) I couldn't talk about to someone in that therapist's demographic. So I left that practice, and found my current therapist.

My current therapist is great, and I'm really glad I'm working with him, but it's entirely possible that he's not going to be able to sort out this entire mess. We may reach a point where his specialties of relationships and adhd are not my bottlenecks any more, and he doesn't really have the tools he needs to handle what my next bottleneck is, and I'll go find someone else who can meet my needs at that time. This is normal and expected, and it's entirely fine to plan on it by (for example) deciding that you want a specialist in this thing right now, and you'll go find a specialist in this other thing later.

4) On Shopping

It's entirely reasonable to have more than one therapist this week. You are in no way expected or required to pick a single therapist based off of some profile pictures, a bio on the website, and a phone call, and then you're stuck with them forever. It is normal and understood that you will set up appointments with half a dozen therapists, and then pick two (or three) to do another session with, before settling into a single choice. Or don't! If you like two therapists for different reasons, and you'd rather work with them simultaneously instead of serially, then feel free to schedule with twice as many therapists, half as often. This ain't a wedding; you don't have to restrict yourself to only one.

Narrow down your choices as quickly as you want to based on your anxiety about not having a decision, based on your executive dysfunction and inability to track multiple things, based on how you feel about each one ... but don't narrow them down to one just because you think that's "the rules", somehow.

5) On Being Abrasive

If you know, upfront, what some of your dealbreakers are, just straight-up say that as you're scheduling the appointment or in the first session. My last therapist became a problem for me because she expressed empathy in a way that was too similar to the way my abuser used weaponized politeness to deny me boundaries; I couldn't talk to her about my violations because her demeanor was too similar to the person who violated me. So when I first talked to my current therapist, I told him, "I need someone who, if they think I'm full of shit, will say 'I think you're full of shit.'" He replied "One of my other clients calls me 'Deadpool'." I said, "Perfect. Let's give it a shot."

So if you really care that someone will let you schedule appointments online, or will never touch your wrist, or will treat your "disorder" as a neurodivergence to be accommodated rather than a problem to be solved, then say so. The sooner you both know that, the better: if you have particular needs, they need to know that now; and if they're not willing to meet your needs, YOU need to know that now.

(You will not, of course, always know your dealbreakers upfront. When I picked my first therapist, my primary problem was hip pain, and I didn't know it was PTSD. It was through her help that I realized that (a) I had trauma and (b) she was way too like my abuser for me to treat PTSD with her. This was not a failure. This was a massive success, because learning that was what allowed me to find someone who could help me (see point #3). It's fine if you don't know, right now, what you need -- that's part of why vibes are so important (see point #2). But whatever information you can give them, it is helpful to do so, and (despite what people in your past have implied) it is not rude, it is beneficial and desired.

6 - not advice, just a reminder

You are beautiful and brave and strong and I am so proud of you for fighting through all the shit -- both internal and external -- to get yourself help. No one ever talks about how hard it is to get to the point where you schedule that first meeting with that first therapist, and I want you to know that it is painful, it is challenging, and you're not lazy or stupid or whatever other lie your brain is telling you.

#therapy #how to life #how to recovery #long post #recovery #trauma cw #abuse cw #mental illness cw #gpoy #PTSD cw

[resowrites]

The Trees - oneshot.

Summary: A walk in the woods takes an unexpected turn for Henry and his gf…

Pairings: AU!Henry Cavill x Girlfriend!OC

Warnings: adult themes, angst, relationship difficulties, dialogue heavy, language, mentions of parental loss/relationship breakdown/su!c!de attempt/appetite loss/panic attack/grief, pregnancy loss, child abuse, fluff, pet names, nondescript OC body type/appearance, hastily written/lightly proofread.

WC: 2936

A/N: Welp, this was meant to be uploaded ages ago but the themes and my crippling brain fog (yay) meant it took forever. Take care with this one. I’ve tried to write as carefully/sensitively as I can, but please heed the warnings or skip if you’re unsure (your wellbeing is more important). As ever, please enjoy and let me know your thoughts - R x

My work must not be copied, reposted, or translated elsewhere. Likes, follows, reblogs and comments are thoroughly welcome and appreciated! Gifs/pics not my own. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for visiting!

The Trees - oneshot.

"How about some toast?"

"I'm good, thanks love."

"Why don't you have some fruit then? Or I can make you a smoothie?" Henry began scanning the fridge for other ideas.

"Honestly, I'm not hungry—"

"You have to eat darling—"

"Please can I go back upstairs? I've got so much work to get through…"

"In a little while, we can go sit in the living room if it's more comfortable but you're at least going to have some tea and rest for a bit. Come on." He gently tried to herd her out of the kitchen.

"… I'm gunna go for a walk."

"What? Ollie come back here, you're exhausted—"

"Just for a little while alright? I can't sit around and do nothing." She stopped by the front door and wound a thick scarf twice around her neck.

"But sometimes you have to do that, or—"

"Or what?"

"Darling, you're not sleeping, you're not eating—"

"Henry, I'm just a bit stressed with work, that's all. I'll be back in half an hour."

"Well, wait I'll go with you, you're not going into the woods by yourself—"

"It's fine, I'll take the dogs. Don't you have meetings?"

"My next one's not for another hour and I took the dogs out earlier so we can leave them here." But Copper was already sitting by her feet, her head tilting in confusion.

***

"She's a cheeky little bugger, every morning now she sits waiting by the front door for walkies." Henry chuckled. 

"She's getting so big..."

"Tell me about it, soon she'll be jumping up into the airing cupboard like Kal. You know I found the little shit in there again this morning? Can't really blame him with weather like this though, it's brass monkeys. Are you sure you're warm enough?" She hummed back but otherwise, his attempt at conversation had fallen flat. She was still walking slightly ahead, lost in her own thoughts. He tried again. "So what's going on with work at the moment? I thought you were over the first couple of hurdles?"

"Freelancing's not that straightforward, unfortunately."

"Well is it anything I might be able to help with?"

"It's lovely of you to offer but I'll be alright. There'll be other contracts if I don't secure this one."

"That'a girl… how are you feeling at the moment though? In yourself, I mean?"

"Okay."

"Really?"

"Yeah, so what's your meeting about this afternoon?"

"Don't change the subject, Ollie—"

"I'm not—"

"Then can you tell me how you are?" She sighed and stopped abruptly.

"I just did!"

"Well I heard you on the phone this morning—"

"You were listening to my call?"

"No, I just heard the end of it when I came upstairs. Did your therapist need to change your appointment?"

"No, that wasn't them. They've… referred me to someone else."

"What, why?"

"Cos we're not a good fit." Henry waited for her to continue but instead, her eyes remained fixed on the floor. He tried another tack.

"Before I forget, your sister also rang me. She tried to get through but you must have still been on the phone. Your father's funeral is next week, do you think you're up to going?"

"No."

"Well, shall we wait and see how you feel?"

"No, I'm not going."

"Why not? It might help you start drawing a line under everything—"

"Henry, my mother doesn't really want me there, she just can’t get away with not asking."

"Well fuck what she wants, you need the closure—"

"There's no such thing."

"Of course there is—"

"No, there isn't. That's not how real life works." Henry waited a beat before responding.

"You know you can talk to me about him?"

"Henry, I said I'm okay—" he stopped finally and waited for her to do the same.

"No you're not, you've not been right for months. You've not even been eating properly since December. I'm really worried Ollie. I want us to get married in the spring, start planning for the future—" something then clicked in her mind.

"Wait, what did my sister tell you?"

"What?"

"What did she say, Henry?" Her voice had risen in alarm.

"Darling, it was nothing I didn't already suspect—"

"So you know everything? Henry, it was a long time ago, I was desperate—"

"Ollie what are you talking about? We discussed your father but that was it—"

"No, no this can't be happening…" she clasped the sides of her head in shock.

"Whoa, you're alright, look at me." She struggled to stay standing. "Ok, let's find somewhere to sit, come on." Fortunately, they were nearing the wood’s halfway point, which was marked by an old wooden bench. Henry was relieved to see it was empty and promptly sat her down. "There, now. Take some deep breaths darling, slow down for me. Just focus on my hand." He continued rubbing her back until her breathing came under control. She managed to fight off the attack, but only just.

"Can we… go home, please?" Henry pulled a water bottle from his pocket and helped her drink from it.

"Let's stay here for a bit, just until you're steadier on your feet." The next few minutes passed uneasily. "I really wish you'd unburden yourself though—" she scoffed and staggered upwards, turning to face him directly.

"So I can burden you instead?"

"Ollie sit back down. There will never be anything you can't tell me—" but she cut him off.

"Well thanks to my sister, I now don't have a choice, do I? God, I can't believe this..." she wearily took a seat, holding her head in her hands for several moments. "Fine. If you really want the truth I'll give it to you." When she finally spoke again, both her eyes and voice were strangely flat. "My last fiancé and I didn't mutually split. He just woke up one day and decided he wanted out. There were no signs, there wasn't even anyone else, he just didn't love me anymore. It was like the sky had fallen in. The pain was just… indescribable. He loved me like no one ever had before and as the days started to blend together I became convinced that it would always end that way, that the fundamental problem was me. I mean if my own father could stop loving me, what hope would there be for any other man?

"One night, a couple of months after we split, I woke up with what I thought at first was just a stomach ache. How I kept it together in the taxi I'll never know. I vaguely remember bleeding as I walked into A&E but the rest is just a blur of pain and vomit. Before I know it, I'm in a hospital bed being told I lost a sixteen-week pregnancy. I was just so… stunned. I kept asking the doctor to repeat himself. I mean you know what my periods are like and to be honest, by that point I'd already lost most of my sense of time. I hadn't had a single symptom, not one," she paused, "they couldn't tell me if it was a boy or a girl. I asked if I could at least say goodbye… they advised against it. After that apparently, I just kept screaming," she swallowed hard, "the nurses felt so sad for me.

"I remember before I was signed out, one of them asked if my partner was on his way to collect me. I just lied and said yes. She then said to me, 'remember you can always try again,'" she quickly cleared her throat to disguise her voice breaking, "I didn't tell my sister what happened. She pulled up outside my place, made me promise to call her later on and when I got out of the car I realised I was supposed to be getting married that day. I don't know, something inside of me finally just snapped. I don't remember much of what happened then either. One minute I was in my bathroom, and the next I was back in the hospital being told I'd suffered minor organ damage. If my sister hadn't stopped by when she did, worried why she hadn't heard from me, I probably wouldn't have survived.

"Eventually, she managed to convince them to let me leave so I could stay with her. She lives on a beautiful street, lined with cherry blossom trees. My nieces greeted me at the door excitedly, even the sky was bright blue that day. But I never felt more lost and alone than at that moment. In the end, my sister had to take six months off work to care for me, and that combined with the strongest medication my doctor could prescribe, only just helped me pull through. A year later Clare dragged me to that party and… there you were. I wanted so badly not to like you—" she finally broke down, her exhausted sobs splashing tears all over her lap. For her sake, Henry held back his own. Up to that point, he'd resisted interrupting or touching her, but he couldn't bare it any longer. He cupped her face firmly with both hands.

"Ollie, do you love me?"

"More than anything. It's why I proposed. I wanted to do everything with you—"

"Then that's all that matters—" she pushed his hands away.

"No, because we're not equals in this relationship Henry, we never have been and we never will be."

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean," she sighed, "you could have literally anyone…" she trailed off, defeated for the moment.

"… You know, when I spoke to your sister, she told me how one night you were late back home from playing with your friends so you hadn't yet done your homework. Your father then locked you out in the back garden for the rest of the night. She said you didn't ask her or your other sister for help because you didn't want to get them in trouble too. You just stayed out there all alone, in the freezing cold. And I wondered to myself, how many times you've felt like that little girl ever since, even in this relationship—"

"Henry—"

"She told me she suspected other things happened as well, stuff she couldn't bring herself to talk about."

"You weren't supposed to know any of that!"

"Why not?!"

"Oh God…"

"Ollie please, it's okay—"

"How? How can any of this be okay?!" Her face was so distraught, his stomach sank. He rubbed his eyes.

"… This is my fault. If I hadn't been away so much, kept you closer, none of this would have happened—"

"No, please, this isn't on you—"

"I even bought you the puppy and the cottage because of how guilty I felt!"

"But the distance worked for me too! I could get attached to you but not completely. It felt safer."

"And now?"

"Now it all just… hurts." Henry grabbed her hands.

"Ollie, whatever happened before doesn't change anything. I'm here, alright? You're safe now—"

"Except I don't think I'll ever feel that way completely—"

"I'll still be here—" she flew up from the bench and started pacing, her tears flowing freely once more.

"No, no. You deserve better. Someone who's sunny, healthy… as successful as you. For fuck's sake I don't even come from a normal family. When I walked out in December, it was because I felt I had to. I will always want what's best for you and… I know that doesn't include me." He dashed forwards, clamping her shoulders to keep her still.

"Do you think when we first met, I couldn't see the pain in your eyes? I also saw the decency, the humanity - I knew you weren't playing hard to get for the sake of it in the same way I knew you'd never hurt me deliberately. Let's go to therapy together—"

"You don't have to do that—"

"But I want to! I haven't done enough and you are so worth fighting for - we are worth fighting for. I love what we have because it's real and that's so, so rare Ollie." Her head fell to her chest.

"The doctor who spoke to me earlier was a trauma therapist. I was praying they'd tell me I didn't need their help. The worst of it is, I always thought I was a strong person. What I experienced wasn't even unusual. I mean people fall out of love, lose babies, have breakdowns, every single day. And it all could have been so much worse. But it still nearly destroyed me. I just can't go through any of that again."

"… Did you give your baby a name?"

"No, no… it didn't go that far. I couldn't let it. But in my head, I still talk to her sometimes. I don't know why I imagine her as a girl, it's just what feels right. It's incredible really, she would have been no bigger than the palm of my hand but the love that you feel… the longing." Her voice caught in her throat. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I didn't intend to tell anyone. I just thought that if I failed in her life, I could at least protect her in death—"

"You didn't fail anyone—" he quickly stopped himself and instead pulled her into his arms. "I love you, Ollie."

"I love you too."

***

Two weeks later.

"Mmm it's warm out there today, look at that sky." Henry slid the cup along the counter. Ollie glanced up briefly from her laptop and hummed. "Why don't we take our coffee outside?" To his surprise, she stood up from her chair.

"That sounds nice." Henry smiled and led her into their garden, with Kal and Copper following closely behind. What she didn't expect to see, opposite the bench that was tucked away in her favourite spot, was a newly planted cherry blossom tree. He sat her down carefully, waited for the dogs to lie down beside her, and then went to fetch something from the base of it. When Henry joined her again, he was holding what looked to be a clear container.

"I've planted this tree so that, every time you miss your daughter, you can come out here and spend some time with her." He carefully removed a small notepad and pen from the container. "And whenever you need to talk, you can write it in here, put it in the box and leave it by the tree for her." She was so overwhelmed at first she couldn't even look at him. When she did, tears spilled down her face.

"I… I don't know even know what to say… I can't thank you enough. Not just for this, but for everything—"

"You will never need to thank me, darling, ever." She chose her next words carefully.

"I know I've struggled to tell you often enough, let alone show you how much I appreciate it, but you're a good man. The best I've known. And just because she was my first," she glanced towards the tree, "it doesn't mean she has to be my last."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I mean, it might be difficult—"

"Then I'll do everything I can to make it easier."

"... You know I'd marry you right now if I could?"

"Then why don't we?"

"What?"

"Well, why not?"

"But... I'm not even dressed nicely!"

"Stop it, you've never looked more beautiful. Right, we've got the dogs as witnesses so come on," Henry gently pulled her to her feet, "let's get straight to it."

"Are you sure? Everything's already been arranged?" His heart lept at her playful smile. How he'd missed it.

"That one's for the well-wishers, this is just for us. Are you ready?" She smiled and nodded. "Good. Then I, Henry Cavill, take you, Ollie Hadden, for my lawful wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will love and honor you all the days of my life." Henry removed the promise ring from her right hand and slipped it onto her ring finger. She swallowed back her tears, smiling.

"And I, Ollie Hadden, take you, Henry Cavill, for my lawful Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will love and honor you all the days of my life." She then moved his promise ring to the correct hand. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Henry brushed the tears off his cheeks, "that's just the first time you've called me your husband." They beamed at each other and finally kissed. In the end, he didn't know how long they'd stood holding each other, but when he glanced down, she was gazing at the tree.

"When you're ready, come inside and I'll make you some lunch." Henry then kissed the top of her head and disappeared into the house with both dogs trailing after him. 

She took a seat on the bench, picked up the notebook, and wrote several lines. When she was finished, she carefully put the container back in the same spot. It was when she glanced up that she noticed small buds on the tree. Soon they'd be open and before long the garden would be strewn with blossom. She couldn't think any further ahead but for the moment she didn't need to. For once her mind had fallen silent and she was content to rejoin her husband.

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#henry cavill #henry cavill fandom #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill imagine

[anti-romantico]

[unethical relationship] ateez yunho P A R T O N E

warnings: therapist!reader, sexaddict!yunho (?), oral (m & f), unprotected sex (do i even have to say it?), dirty talking, uses of: [slut, baby], yh being bossy, hair pulling (f recieving), mouth fucking, over a desk, yh getting turned on by the thought of reader not being on the pill, creampie, fingering, sex tape, cum eating and then they kiss so they share it, riding, spanking, belly bulge, choking

A/N: I'm going to say this ONCE. I don't care if "that's not how therapy sessions works", I don't care if you are/were a therapist and are bothered by the uncountable mistakes this fic has. If there is at least one thing in this fic that bothers you, it's your choice to keep reading or not, but if you keep doing it and then feel the need to go to my ask box to tell me all the mistakes I made I'm telling you right now those asks will be deleted. Some of the mistakes here are intentional to emphasize that THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. You're not forced to read it if you're not comfortable.

Also, I'm sorry for the multiple "the receptionist", I didn't really think of a proper name for that character, I'll see if I can change it in the future

words: 5.1K

P A R T T W O

2nd Session

The receptionist received Yunho with a sweet smile, just like last week, and told him to wait a couple of minutes for you to arrive. Yunho sat down and studied the place once again. This time his appointment was at midday, he didn't receive much explanation, just that another doctor uses your office some days. There were another three patients waiting, all of them looking close to his age.

— You're new here, aren't you? — A female voice got Yunho's attention.

— Uh, yeah, today is my second session. — The girl sat next to Yunho.

— Let me guess, Dr. Lee it's your therapist. — Yunho nodded. — I've come enough time to know why she took your case.

— It's just anxiety. — Yunho tried to dismiss the conversation, but the girl continued.

— Yeah, anxiety causes it. Don't worry, I won't tell your secret. — The front door opened, sending a wave of relief to Yunho when he saw it was you.

— Well, nice to meet you. — Yunho gave back his attention to the girl, but she was already walking to the other side of the reception.

After five minutes, the receptionist called Yunho to go to your office.

You seemed tired and even upset, but Yunho was too scared to ask, it wasn't his business.

— Take a seat, Yunho. — You said, noticing he didn't move from the door. He just nodded and quickly sat down on the blue couch. — You had breakfast? Can I offer you something?

— I'm fine, my roommates didn't let me leave the apartment without eating.

— Perfect — You grabbed your notebook and glasses and sighed. — Tell me about your week.

Yunho swallowed and took a deep breath. — I only got recommendations for better hygiene, fortunately I'm clean. — You nodded, but kept a straight face, making Yunho feel nervous again. — I also got condoms, the doctor was really generous.

— I was expecting that. — The smile you tried to give him was awkward and forced. — How many times did you have sex?

— U-uh twice, w-with the same person. — Yunho cleared his throat.

— You used condoms, right? — Yunho nodded. — Was this person someone new or...?

— No, is... the girl of the other week.

— Is she still a... "booty call"? — You carefully asked.

— I think so... — You leaned your head to the side, waiting for him to continue. — I'm physically attracted to her, that's for sure, but I don't want to think about anything romantic while I'm in the process of... healing?

— Well, that's perfect, Yunho. — Your wide eyes made Yunho giggle. — So, you said just two times, is there any difference now that you use protection?

— The first time, yes, that's why we tried it a second time. I don't know if I liked it, but it wasn't bad, I guess I just have to get used to it.

— How about watching porn? You still did it?

And that's the question he was scared to get. — I... I've been distracted lately, I didn't watch one full video. — And it wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the complete truth, and you could realize.

— Yunho, I know getting therapy for this can be considered weird, but you're progressing rapidly, — You got up and walked to Yunho, not helping him at all. — if you're as open with me as you've been, then I can help and maybe in a few weeks you won't have to come anymore.

And Yunho didn't like the sound of that. — I... I was looking for a specific thing in those videos, but I didn't find it.

— Well, I'm sure that's progress, not saying you should stop watching, but if you feel like it doesn't satisfy you anymore, then we're getting somewhere. — You sat down on one of the chairs in front of your desk, you weren't exactly close to Yunho, but he could feel the closeness. — Can I ask what exactly you're looking for? — Yunho's eyes opened wide, scaring you a little. — Ok, you don't have to tell me, I do consider we should have some secrets between us, as long as we don't affect your progress.

You went back to your chair behind your desk while Yunho tried to catch his breath. — I'm just looking for the female actress to look a certain way. — "What are you doing? She will ask!" That voice again.

— That's completely normal. — You paused and started to tie your hair. — Now, do you masturbate?

— Yeah, I'm not proud to admit I did it every time I wanted to have sex.

— Oh, that's fine, you still went to run, right?

— Yep, not at 4am, but I guess it's part of my progress. — Yunho scratched his head.

— Now, let's talk about your usual routine. I know you said you get anxious if you don't run after sex, but did you do it in those two times you had sex with this girl?

— Only the second time, the first time I was too distracted, none of us... finished.

— Before meeting with her, what did you do? — And for the first time in maybe 20 minutes, you started to write.

— I went to work, mostly I work from home, but Fridays are busy days, sometimes I have to go to meetings and do paperwork.

— Do you consider work stressful or a way to clear your mind?

— Both. If I didn't get to have sex I would lock myself in my room and only go out to the bathroom and eat. And if I had too much work and need to get some... relief, I would see who I can call.

— So this week you mostly were locked in your room?

— You could say that.

You got up again, rounded your desk and sat on the edge. Yunho studied your outfit; some tight black dress pants, light blue shirt with two buttons open, a silver necklace and black high heels, and if he remembered correctly, your blazer was also black.

— I'm sorry, but I have to ask; why were you so distracted? I don't want to think therapy is the reason, but...

Yunho interrupted you before you could finish your sentence. — No, it's not... therapy.

— Then, what is... — Her phone interrupted, making her roll her eyes. — I'm sorry. — She aggressively grabbed her phone and entered the room she did last week. But that was useless, Yunho could hear the conversation.

"I told you I was working, don't fucking call me" "Good, it only took you two months and some balls to finally leave" "I don't care what you take, I want you out of my house now" "Do you think I fucking care? You cheated on me, own it and disappear"

Yunho was debating whether to leave and come back next week or stay there and pretend he didn't hear anything.

"You know what, how about you call that bitch and ask her to give you a ride since she likes those a lot" Yunho couldn't stop the chuckle. "Yeah, I want to see if any of them answer the phone. Those are my friends, let me remind you" "Just fuck off, and if I see you close to my property when I'm back I'll call the police" And all went silent, but you stayed there. It wasn't until Yunho heard you sobbing when he got up and knocked on the door.

— Dr. Lee? Is... everything ok? — He heard you trying to clear your throat.

— Give me two minutes, Yun. — Yunho felt shivers down his spine.

— Those answers were pretty badass if you ask me. — You laughed, opening the door. Weren't you crying? You seemed like nothing happened.

— I think we should continue this next week, that was really unprofessional of me. — You wanted to walk, but Yunho's body kept you inside the small bathroom.

— I think you need someone to talk to. — Yunho's voice was soft, and now it was your turn to feel shivers.

— I have friends for that, thanks, Yunho.

— I mean, I still have, what? 20 minutes more? I think we can work that out. I'll pretend I didn't hear your badass conversation with that asshole. — You laughed again, Yunho smiled at that sound.

Both of you went back to your seats and continued with the session. — Oh, I gave you a book of activities, have you done something?

— Yeah, I hid that from my roommates and forgot about it.

— Well, now you have homework. I want at least three pages of that book done for next week.

— Yes, ma'am.

Yunho arrived at his apartment, remembering it was empty. Seonghwa was on a double shift and would come back until midnight and Mingi said he would be back until 9pm, so the apartment was for him until then.

Yunho sat down on his bed when he suddenly remembered the book. "I want at least three pages" he smiled at the memory of your voice. God, he didn't like the effect you had on him, you were his therapist. "you pay her to care about you, big boy, relax" the voice in his head streak again, making him feel like shit.

When he finally found the book, he began to read it, math problems, riddles, etc., what actually called his attention was that the book had your name in the back "[Y/N] Lee". The book was yours? Why did you give him a book you use? She mentioned something about kids not doing their homework, maybe she was also a babysitter? "Or she has kids" Yeah, definitely he didn't need that image of you. Wait, she had an argument with someone over the phone, something about him cheating on her. What if she did have kids and now she will be a single mom and also a therapist... When Yunho realized, he was standing up and squeezing the book in his hand. "Ok, I think that's too much, big boy, sit down", this time he did listen to the voice.

It was until 5pm that Yunho felt hungry, so he closed the book and grabbed money to go buy something. He didn't even know what he wanted until he arrived at a convenience store where he just took his usuals and paid. His diet was the only thing he didn't change, but it wasn't like he had the energy to cook.

— Yunho! — A familiar female voice called from afar. Sohee, his infamous booty call. — Why haven't you answered my messages? — She said as she got close to him.

That's where Yunho remembered he didn't grab his phone before leaving his apartment. — Uh, I've been busy.

— Are you sure it has nothing to do with what happened? — Sohee fixed her hair. — I know it was kinda embarrassing, but it happens to a lot of people.

— I've been busy, So, I haven't had the time to think about... that. — "Wow, that was rough"

— Oh, it's just... I thought we could maybe try it again? — And Yunho was about to tell her he was still busy, but all the thoughts he had earlier went back to his head.

— Fine, but I have to eat something first, I'm really hungry. — Sohee laughed and followed Yunho to his apartment.

Moaning and body slaps were the only thing you could hear when you entered that apartment. Her face was squeezed against Yunho's bed as a way to keep it a little bit down, but Yunho couldn't control his growls and moans. Yeah, he definitely needed this, it wasn't awkward anymore, the feeling of the condom was more than familiar now. It was their 3rd round now and Yunho successfully kept you out of his mind for a few hours, until the memory of your outfit, that conversation with your ex, your laugh, god why was it so hard?

And then, Sohee's moans weren't hers, Yunho only could see half her face, but he was sure it wasn't her face anymore. It was you he was fucking. He instantly started to thrust harder, making Sohee moan louder and try to completely hide his face, but Yunho grabbed her hair, pulling it hard enough for her back to touch his chest. This was new and Sohee wasn't complaining.

— Wow. — Sohee said when both of them cum. — That was... different.

Yunho was trying to clear his mind, now he was seeing things. — I didn't hurt you, right?

— Oh, babe, I hope you keep doing it, that was so hot. — Yunho chuckled. Keep doing it... But would he still think about you while doing it?

It was almost 4am and Yunho couldn't sleep. His mind kept repeating the images of you in his bed. No, that wasn't you, that was Sohee. God, but it wasn't her body. It was yours. It was your face. He could still hear you moaning in his ears.

His hand traveled down his bulge and shamelessly started to stroke it over his boxers by the thought of you riding him. God, you would look like a goddess bouncing on his cock. Now it was you, sucking hard, letting him guide your head, pulling your hair, moaning around him, swallowing every drop he gives you. He would return the favor, making you ride his face until you couldn't take it. Then, he would fuck you so hard not a single coherent word would come out of your mouth. Fuck, just the thought of cumming inside you made him actually cum. He looked at his boxers, he had to change now.

When Yunho's breath went back to normal, he remembered, he didn't run.

3rd Session

— Glad to see you again. — The girl from the other week sat down next to Yunho again. — I'm Ryujin, by the way. Sorry for not introducing myself last week.

— Oh, don't worry. I'm Yunho.

Ryujin was about to say something when the receptionist called her. — Well, I guess I'll see you next week. Bye, Yunho.

Yunho waved back at her and waited for his turn to be called. "You have to tell her, big boy, the best for you is to change therapists" The voice said. Since when was it the voice of reason?

— Yunho, Dr. Lee is ready to see you. — Yunho nodded and cleaned the sweat of his hands on his jeans.

— Come in, Yunho. — You said when you saw his head slightly peeked in from the door. Yunho closed the door behind him and slowly walked to the blue couch. — Ok, tell me about...

— I had sex with Sohee the whole week. Multiple times. — Yunho said in a hurry, surprising you. "good job, big boy, you scared her"

— Sohee is... the booty call. — Yunho nodded. — At least you used condoms?

— Every time, and it didn't feel uncomfortable anymore. It felt good even.

— Well, that's good, totally a process, but I'm confused, what was the urge to tell me? — You crossed your arms and leaned on your desk.

— Because every time I fucked her I thought about another girl. — "smooth"

— Oh, did you tell her? — You got up and walked to Yunho. He freezed for a moment when you sat down next to him.

— I didn't know how to. We both enjoyed it. I didn't know I could last more than two rounds until now. — Yunho looked at the floor, he was now oversharing.

— And don't you think you could enjoy it more if you were honest with her?

— No. — Yunho cleared his throat and looked at you. — It's like I need the image of this girl in my mind to enjoy it.

You were even confused. — The image? Is this girl real?

— She is. — Yunho studied your face. You were frowning and noticed the quick look he gave to your lips. — I know it's fucked up and Sohee don't deserve it, but when I tried to not think about this girl, my dick would go immediately soft. — "too much information"

— And the reason you kept trying it with Sohee was because you are familiar to her touch or because it was easy for you? — This wasn't the first time you heard something like this.

— A little bit of both. — He covered his face with his hands. — God, I'm pathetic.

— You're not pathetic, Yunho. It's completely normal. A lot of people think about their celebrity crush when they have sex.

— This is not about a celebrity crush, Dr. — When Yunho looked at you again. All the thoughts he had while masturbating came back.

— I still think you should talk with Sohee, it's... unfair. — You were personally speaking, this conversation reminding you about your now ex boyfriend fucking his bother's friend in your bed when he thought you would be back late.

— I'll do it, I just need to think carefully about what I will say. — His voice took you out of your mind.

— Is there anything else you are so desperate to tell me?

— After the first day, at night, I masturbated at the thought of her. All the things I want to do to her and with her. I thought it was because I didn't go to run, but I had the same thoughts the next few days.

— And why don't you talk to her? See if she's also interested.

— I can't, I don't think she's interested.

— How do you know? Have you told her?

— She... — "she is in front of us pretending she doesn't know you're talking about her" There is no way, — She's engaged.

You took a deep breath and nodded. — Are you sure you're telling me the truth? — "told ya'"

— I am.

You nodded again and went back to your desk. — What about your diet?

— I'm too lazy to cook.

— You need good nutrition. Believe it or not, what we eat also affects our sexual lives. You might be lacking some things for you not being able to focus on other things than this girl while having such an intimate moment with another girl. — Yunho threw his body to the side and laid down on the couch. — Did you do your homework?

Fuck, he forgot the book.

{-----}

— Fuck, Yunho, wait. — Sohee said, stopping herself from bouncing over him.

— What? Did I hurt you? — Yunho said out of breath.

— No, it's just... What are we? — Sohee brushed Yunho's sweaty hair out of his face.

— Sohee, my dick is hard inside you, let me cum first and then we'll talk, yeah? — Yunho gave Sohee a quick perk and kissed her neck, making her whimper. — Please, baby, I need to cum so bad, I know you need it too. — Slowly, Sohee rotated her hips, making Yunho bite his lip. — That's right, baby, do it faster, god, squeez me a little.

— I want to be your girlfriend. — Sohee said in a moan, throwing her head back.

Yunho didn't answer, he didn't want to. He rolled their bodies and kept thrusting hard. When he looked at Sohee's face, it was yours there.

— Yunho. — God it was also your voice.

— I know you're close, baby, come on, cum around me. — Yunho played with her clit, making her squeeze his dick harder.

Sohee cummed and kept moaning while waiting for Yunho to also cum. He looked desperate, his hips moving fast and hard. Once he cum, he pulled out and laid down beside her. He smiled when her lips went to his neck and felt her hand taking out the used condom.

— I don't think I can cum one more time. — Yunho said, buckling up his hip when Sohee's hand started to stroke his dick.

— Let's find out. — Sohee went down on him and immediately took him in his mouth, making him growl.

— Fuck, [Y/N], like that... — "and the inevitable, happened"

Sohee raised her head so fast her neck almost cracked. — Who's [Y/N]?

Yunho's eyes opened wide, what did he do? He looked at Sohee and her eyes were teary and red. — Fuck, sorry, Sohee, I...

— I know I don't have any right to be jealous, but who's that? — Sohee dried one tear and waited for Yunho to answer, which he didn't. — I told you I wanted to be your girlfriend, I know I should've waited, but I thought we were going somewhere after two weeks of you calling me every day.

— Sohee, I'm sorry, I don't think we should be together. — Yunho grabbed his boxer and only covered his erection. "How's that thing still hard?"

— Oh, so we should still fuck every day while you think about another woman? Fuck you. — Sohee started to get dressed while trying to fight her tears. — Please, don't call me again.

Yunho watched Sohee leave her room and just seconds later the door slammed.

Seonghwa peeked his head, not caring Yunho was practically naked.. — What happened?

Yunho shook his head and laid down. — Lock the door, please. — And once Seonghwa left, Yunho threw his boxer to the side and stroked his cock.

Your lips were on his neck, you were bouncing on him with his help, you nails leaving marks down his back. He needed you. God, he can't believe he was going to do this. He grabbed a pillow from the floor and positioned himself over it. He didn't need much motivation to think it was you. That he was over you. He started to thrust and imagine your moans. He would choke you, kiss you, pull your hair. He didn't last long. When he opened his eyes he saw his pillow covered in cum. He would make you clean it.

Yunho walked fast through the dark parking lot until he arrived at the consultory. The receptionist was confused when he saw him opening the door.

— Yunho, your appointment is tomorrow.

— I know, I came to cancel it.

— I know it's not my business, sweetheart, but [Y/N] have told me you're improving. Why? Or is it temporal?

Yunho took a deep breath and bit his lip. — I don't know, but I guess you won't see me for a while... — "or ever".

— It's ok, don't feel pressure to come, but anything you need, I'll be here. — Yunho smiled and nodded. The receptionist typed on his keyboard. — It's done, tomorrow morning you'll have your refund. Is there anything else I can do for you?

— Tell Dr. Lee I'm sorry. — And just when he finished the sentence, your door opened. You had your things and were locking the door.

You looked up and frowned. — Yunho?

Yunho left the place, leaving you confused. You looked at the receptionist, expecting an explanation.

— He canceled his appointment and said he won't be back for a while.

— Did he tell you anything else?

— Just that. I think you can still talk to him, he's in his car. — The receptionist turned her screen and showed you the security footage. — I promise I won't tell you had interaction with one of your patients outside your office. I mean, technically he isn't your patient anymore.

You chuckled and walked in the same direction Yunho left. There were only three cars. Yours, Yunho's and the receptionist's. You got close to Yunho's car and knocked his window, making him jump. He rolled down the window.

— Do you want to talk about it? — You asked, respecting his space.

— I have friends for that. — Yunho didn't look at you.

— I bet, but you still came to cancel your appointment when you could just make a call.

— If you think I came to see you, I didn't even know you were still here. — His knuckles were white for the way he was squeezing the wheel.

— You still had at least 3 minutes to start your car and leave, but you stayed.

— Just leave me alone, you don't have to worry about me, you're not my therapist anymore.

— Well, then I came to check on you as a friend.

— We're not friends, [Y/N], just leave. — You felt a wave of shivers all over your body when he said your name.

You nodded and left. As you walked to your car, you waved at the receptionist before she left. You took out your car keys and were about to open the door when a body slightly pressed you against it. You could see his chest behind you in the reflection of your window.

— You decided you wanted to talk? — You pushed his body back with the door, throwing your stuff inside and closing the door. You faced him and immediately felt small in front of him.

— I said your name. — You tried to not show any reaction at his confession. He leaned down to face you. — I fucking said your name when Sohee was sucking my cock, [Y/N], do you know what is that?

— That's not my fault, Yunho. — You weren't supposed to feel affected by such vulgar words.

— That's the worst part, it's all my fault. — His hands caged you and his face got closer, you had to push him away, but you couldn't. — I'm the one that put your beautiful face in my mind so I could cum every time I got my dick in another girl. Fuck, I swear I felt your lips around me. — Yunho pushed himself away from you.

— You just had to ask for a different doctor, not cancel your appointment, you were improving.

— We both know that's not true. For two weeks I've been fantasizing about you being under me, that's not improving. — Yunho got close again.

— Come back tomorrow, I'll recommend you to a good doctor.

— I don't want another doctor, [Y/N], I want you! — Yunho grabbed your face, making you hold on to his arms. — Yeah, my friends are the best, they got me therapy because I couldn't go a day without putting my dick in someone's hole, but you, baby, you are the only person in my life that doesn't make me feel like shit for it.

— That's... That's my job, Yunho.

— And I want you to keep doing it, but I can't be in the same place as you, you're ruining my sex life. My best way to keep you out of my mind is being mad at you for ruining me. — "I'm siding with you in this one, big boy"

— Yun, I need you to let me go. — That nickname again, it was like a slap to reality.

He freed your face and got away as if you burnt his hands. — I'm sorry... I... I'm really sorry. — Yunho went back to his car and left, leaving you breathless.

{-----}

Yunho was alone against the wall watching his friends flirt with some girls. He deserved this, after all the times he left his friends alone to go to fuck.

— Well, such a beautiful face shouldn't be alone. — A girl hugged Yunho from the neck.

Yunho felt his dick twitch. Yeah, this is what he needed. — You should make me some company, then. — He shamelessly grabbed the girl's butt, making her bite her lip.

— I can make you do other things too, handsome.

— Yeah? And what are you waiting for? — Yunho didn't wait for an answer, he kissed the girl while she palmed his dick over his jeans. The girl was already tall and also wearing heels, so it wasn't uncomfortable for Yunho to kiss her.

— I would love you to fuck me right here, but the owner of this club already have me on sight, but I know a place. — Yunho let her guide him to the girls bathroom. And as if it was common, the girls there didn't care when they entered while making out.

Yunho carried the girl to help her get in the sink. The three girls that were there slowly left the room.

While the girl opened his jeans and stroked him over his boxer, Yunho railed up her dress, brushing her wet pussy with his fingers. With his free hand, he looked for the condom and when he was about to open it, the girl took it and got down from the sink. Yunho gave her space to pull down his jeans and boxers and roll up the condom. She turned around and pulled up her dress more, bending over the sink. Yunho rammed against her, pulling her hair and kissing her.

The door opened after a few minutes, Seonghwa almost wanting to punch Yunho in the face. — Yunho.

Yunho looked at his friend through the mirror without stopping his actions. — What? You want to join us?

— Mingi feels sick, he wants to go home.

— He will go in a few, handsome. — The girl said, pulling Yunho's face to kiss him again. Seonghwa rolled his eyes before leaving.

The girl massaged her clit and squeezed her cunt around Yunho making him moan, but he didn't cum, only her.

— I think I owe you an orgasm. — The girl said, fixing her dress.

Yunho took out his phone and gave it to the girl. — So I will make sure you keep your promise. — The girl smiled and saved her number, giving the phone back to Yunho. — I'll message you tomo... Wait, what?! — Yunho said out loud when he read Ryujin's name on his phone. When he looked around, Ryujin was already leaving the bathroom. Yunho needed a moment.

— Why does it look like you saw a ghost? — Seonghwa asked when Yunho sat in the passenger seat, Mingi was already sleeping in the back.

— What the fuck was that in the bathroom?

— You fucked Sohee earlier today, Yun, and I don't know what happened between you two, but I know that whatever happened made you fucked that stranger.

— She's not a stranger, I met her in therapy. — Yunho said, trying to ignore the way Seonghwa called him.

— That's not better, Yunho. I thought you were improving, at least you frequented Sohee.

— Can you stop talking about her? I fucked up. — Yunho looked at him upset.

— Oh, believe me, that slam on the door was more than enough for me to know you fucked up, but how? How you ruin two weeks of having constant sex with a girl that’s obviously romantically interested in you?

— Because I said the name of another girl while she was sucking my dick! How many times do I have to tell this fucking story?! — Yunho yelled, making Mingi whine in his sleep.

— Times? It's the first time I've asked about it. — Seonghwa looked at Yunho, waiting for an answer he didn't get. — We're your friends, Yun, why are you hiding stuff from us?

— Just drive, I have therapy tomorrow morning. — Yunho lied.

— It's freaking 4 in the morning, dude. — Seonghwa said under his breath, but Yunho ignored him.

#kpop smut #ateez smut #yunho smut #ateez yunho smut #jeong yunho smut

[pharawee]

i have some questions and i hope you don't take offense, i'm just genuinely curious. is it scary having prosopagnosia, like not being able to recognize your family? do you just see their faces as complete strangers? also are you able to recognize celebrities for who they are or do you rely on something (like tags on tumblr or their voices in shows, etc) to be able to put names to faces? i remember with color rush, the kid could only remember his best friend by his hairstyle and then when his friend got a haircut, he wasn't able to recognize him. is that something you experience, too?

Hi, anon, I don't mind at all! Thank you for your questions. 💜 I'll try and answer them all but my experience with prosopagnosia might not be universal. It's more of a spectrum with some people simply having trouble remembering faces to cases even more severe than what I'm experiencing. If you're curious, the late (and absolutely wonderful) Oliver Sacks talks about it in this short video. He was a neurologist and psychiatrist and also had prosopagnosia.

That being said, I don't think prosopagnosia is scary at all. I've always had it (though there is a version of it that is acquired later in life through trauma and brain damage - that must be incredibly scary) and it's a part of me. Tbh I just always assumed everyone was like me and I was just especially bad at socialising - like there was some secret people refused to share with me. Much later I was in therapy for something unrelated and it came up. Luckily my therapist was a neurologist so she diagnosed me.

It's more... isolating and a bit embarassing. It wasn't so bad when I was younger because you pretty much stick with the same crowd in and outside of school anyway, so you learn how to tell them apart by their clothes and voices and where they sit, what number their sports jersey is etc. It's only ever really bad when unexpected things happen - like someone changing their hair or completely changing the way they look. Or when I meet people where I don't expect them to. I then no longer recognise them and that can lead to some awkwardness (like in the scene you described from Color Rush).

I remember that I once talked to a person who I thought was my dad for a whole few minutes until my actual dad showed up. I about died when I realised (so did the other person lmao).

It only ever became isolating when I went to uni and met lots of new people. I mostly met everyone once, got along just fine and then the next week (or out and about on campus) I no longer recognised them. I didn't make a lot of friends at uni. 🤣

But no, I don't think of family and friends as strangers just because I don't see their faces. Faces aren't really a part of my thought process. You'd probably have trouble telling apart your loved ones by their ankles or wrists but you wouldn't consider them a stranger because of it. Does that make sense?

As for favourite celebrities, it's a mix of voices and features that stand out. Pictures are really bad because then they're not moving and talking and that's such a huge part of what makes someone uniquely beautiful. I often have to ask @cytharat to help me out (and she's wonderfully patient and understanding). Maybe that's why I like making gifs so much?

Also, I like interesting faces and facial features that stand out: noses, moles, scars, asymmetry - things that aren't considered classically beautiful are incredibly beautiful to me because I can actually "see" them.

If all else fails I just compare ears because ears are actually a lot like like fingerprints. 🤣

#prosopagnosia #ask #about me #thank you for your questions #it's so interesting to talk about because we define ourselves so much by what we see and understand #so it never occurred to me that prosopagnosia could be scary #or that not seeing faces would automatically turn people into strangers #but it must be really scary for a non-faceblind person to think about #the best analogy i ever came across for prosopagnosia was #you know how computers have software for certain tasks? #well people have special software for recognising faces #i don't have that software #so for me trying to tell apart faces is like trying to tell apart individual blades of grass lmao

[bassettmemes]

BIG DUMB HEART, CHAPTER ONE ↳ a collection of lyrics from jenna raine's big dumb heart, chapter one ep.

CRICKETS.

"I know I made it weird the second I said those eight letters."

"You kinda disappeared so fast your silence made my head hurt."

"I take it back and honestly, I probably didn't mean it."

"Is there a way that you can turn this off?"

"I used to hear your voice every night."

"Every single sound, I miss it, cause now all I hear is crickets."

"I'm sorry if I'm having trouble following your logic."

"You got this funny way of keeping things purely platonic."

"I'm not delusional, I'm not the only one who sees it."

"You could hold my hand and rest your head to keep your heart real busy."

"You could tuck me in and play pretend, but you just couldn't kiss me."

STUPID CUPID.

"Here come the nights, the losing sleep. You're out with people I won't ever meet, instead of me."

"I can't decide on which is worse: the moving on or staying in the hurt."

"I wanna hold on tighter, that's just the way I'm wired."

"I wanna hold you like this, don't wanna say goodbye yet."

"Stupid cupid really hit me hard with a love that could've gone real far."

"Stupid cupid when you crossed our stars, you broke my heart."

"Here comes the distance sinking in, the paranoia wonder where you been."

"Sometimes I wish we never started. Loves a moving target, and the next part is the hardest."

"Stupid cupid, why'd you do me like that? Why'd you send me someone I can't have?"

FADE AWAY.

"I looked in your eyes and I didn't see the same you."

"You were just going through the motions. You didn't care at all."

"You watched me fade away and left me with your ghost."

"You just faded away and left us in the smoke."

"I tried to defend you, but all of my friends just shut me up."

"Maybe I was never enough."

"Watch me take back all the love you don't deserve."

"You lost me baby and I know you'll start to hurt."

"I won't be there when you need somebody like I needed you."

SHE'S THERE.

"If I got a dollar every time I let you back in, boy, I'd be richer than any doctor, could you imagine?"

"I'm tired of giving and giving and giving 'til I'm out of battery."

"Little Miss forgives too easily."

"Little Miss walk all over me."

"Little Miss never gets checked up on."

"A therapist for everyone."

"Little Miss tryin' to do her best."

"Little Miss needs more hours of rest."

"Little miss running on a tightrope in thin air, just to show she's there."

"Night of your birthday, I made a big deal. I bought you flowers."

"Mine three weeks later, you didn't text me. How hard is two words?"

"I'm never the voice who disappoints you, and I show up every time. When you don't, then it's fine."

BAD HEARTS.

"You were my everything, my here goes nothing."

"Thought you were chasing me, but you were runnin'."

"I did nothing wrong, was perfect as perfect can be."

"You didn't shed a tear cause you've got this down to a t."

"I was crying, and you kept lying, saying you're sorry for the thousandth time."

"Bad hearts don't break when they say goodbye."

"So, I hope one day, I'll cross your mind, and you'll realize you ruined the girl who could make you better."

"if you're still okay, it's 'cause bad hearts don't break."

"You walk away and you shrug your shoulders."

"You were over us before we were over."

"Barely been a week, and there you go again."

"I already know how that love will end."

"I always wondered how they do it. Hurt someone like there's nothing to it?"

#rp prompt #rp meme #rp prompts #writing prompts #roleplay prompts #sentence starter #sentence starters #writing prompt #rp #sentence meme #lyrics sentence starters #lyric sentence starters #lyric starters #jenna raine lyric starters #jenna raine sentence starters #jenna raine lyrics

[beauty-grace-outer-space]

Ok, so...

(rant below the cut)

I saw my therapist the week before last. During that appointment, she took a phone call like... while I was actively crying and talking about something. And ok, things happen, right? She apologized profusely but said she had to take the call and I was like of course, cuz I don't know her life. It could have been her husband or her kids or whatever. That's totally fine.

But then last week she cancelled on me day off like two hours before my appointment because she wasn't feeling well and told me to touch base next week to schedule. Totally get that. When you're sick, you're sick.

So I waited until Monday and then I emailed her, "Just checking in, hope you're feeling better." She responded that she was and asked if I wanted to meet at 2PM the next day (Tuesday, yesterday) and I said "Sure!" She said "See you tomorrow", I figure we're all set. I let my boss know, she knows I've been really stressed and I told her I needed to make that appointment work because it had already been two weeks and I needed to talk to my therapist, right?

So I take half a day off work yesterday, go home and log on five minutes before 2. It says she's not online yet, which happens. Sometimes she's taking a lunch, sometimes she's away from her computer, no big deal. So I wait.

At 2:15, I sent her an email saying, "Just checking in. Hope everything is ok."

At 2:30, I called her office. They didn't answer.

At 2:45, I called her office again and the receptionist said, "You're not on her schedule, I don't know what to tell you. She's probably in session."

At 3, I just kind of slowly closed everything down and gave up.

She emailed me back last night at 5:18 apologizing. I guess it didn't get put on her electronic calendar and she got sidetracked by a project and... like again, things happen. I get it.

But then she offers me Thursday at 3. I tell her I'm really not comfortable taking more time off work this week. So she offers me Tuesday at 3. My boss is going to be out of the office and I need to be here. So she offers me the 30th at 3. I already have an appointment that morning and I'm missing half a day to deal with that. So she offers me the 4th at 1. I tell her midday is really difficult for me, which is why we typically schedule late afternoon.

And she just responded, "I completely understand" and nothing else.

Am... like.. is she giving up? Is she done offering times now? I don't know what to do from here.

[ptsd-phoenix]

22 april 2024 - have a feeling this will be venty

I have that feeling cause I just started dissociating as I opened this. Maybe I already did before. Am I forgetting why I wanted to make this post? It's getting harder to breathe? Why? What a strange feeling. Overwhelming. Fear in my arms again. Let me move my body around and come back to this. Maybe get a sour candy. Smell a scent stick.

It helped a bit. I have a little spiky ball and I grabbed a plushie to hug. The sour candy was nice. My head started hurting though. I'm still feeling triggered. I don't really know why.

I've not been able to write much on here cause I keep dissociating too much or feel too triggered. I don't remember what the last thing I wrote was..

It makes sense though. Even though I've been very lucky with lot's of rain and cloudy weather!! The plants still grow though, perhaps even more with all the water. Sometimes the rain makes them emit more scent. Like the earth itself will smell. I still don't know what the sources are for the scents that trigger me. It's likely a cocktail of many different things.

I find it hard to actually stand still and face the triggers instead of rushing and trying to get away faster. I've tried standing still and it just keeps building up and up and it makes me want to give up before it starts decreasing, though I did it today too and I focused really hard on grounding and it felt like I had at least taken the edge of. But yeah I am surely avoiding it, I guess I don't feel strong enough to bear the pain perhaps. Or well, it's normal to want to go away from pain. At least I still take my dog for walks and walk through the areas where the scents are bad.

I also said to my therapist last week I felt the trauma I wanted to process that session wasn't bad enough to warrant processing. She replied saying that if that were the case we could start the processing and if we discovered it was no big deal for me then I would be feeling fine and we could just do something else. Obviously it was a big deal for me. I did partly process some triggers during the EMDR as well.

It also makes sense because a big triggering holiday is coming up this week. I've been sensing it's approach for some weeks now. I will do exposure during it. Actually.. it might be good to process that in my next therapy session too. Let me look something up in my trauma diary.. (not the best idea, I admit)

I ended up reading the whole diary. It makes me see how far I have come in my healing. Comparing my current situation to back then. That is hopeful.

Someday, a future me will be reading these journal entries. And they will think what I think now: "wow, I've improved so much compared to the past"

Hope.

This is but a moment in time. A painful journey to travel.

On a brighter side. I purchased VIP tickets to go see a concert and get my album signed and meet the artists. This year is a good concert year for sure. Going to concerts by myself opens up a lot of fun experiences.

I have also been working on my sleeping schedule as much as I've been able to hold myself accountable. Which is why right now I need to turn off my pc and get into bed. I've purchased a white noise machine and I've been using multiple different sound options to fall asleep. It really does make me feel safer in bed. It's a noticeable difference.

I can do this. Being triggered might make it feel like the world is standing still but this is just another day among many. The sun will set and rise again.

Dissociation doesn't last forever. It comes and goes. I will feel fully grounded again. I wont feel this way forever. I wont get 'stuck in this setting'.

Even if my dreams wont be good I will wake up and get to experience a new day and my dreams can be forgotten again.

I can recharge in bed with my plushie. It's okay to feel scared. But there is no danger in bed. The music box will be there for a comforting melody. It will be okay.

#phoenix posts non poetry

[cole-el]

DANGER

Part 3 of my Sasha Calle Supergirl X Male/GN reader fan-fic. Again young Tyler hoechlin Clark and Elizabeth Tulloch Lois. And as always any requests, comments and criticism are welcomed.

You awaken in a cold sweat, you had just dreamt that Clark had been killed, and it disturbed you to your core, not just seeing your best friend die, but even knowing that the three of you are actually Killable on earth. You are shaking and sweating, a few moments later Kara wakes up, and notices you trembling, she sits up and wraps her arms around you, trying to comfort you, rubbing circles on your back. She continues for a few minutes before you finally start calming down, "shhhhhh, baby, what happened? What happened?" She asked. "I'm sorry,(sniffle) I just had a nightmare, I didn't mean to wake you" you answered. "Awwww, babe, it's okay, I'm here, do you wanna talk about it?" She asked concerned. "Yeah, it's, there was some sort of fight, and Clark. Clark died, and I thought you were next....." you sobbed. "Oh, babe, it was just a bad dream, we're all right, we're fine, we're ok." She says while consoling you. You eventually calm down, and the two of you decide to stay up and talk to each other for the night.

A few hours later you were both off to work, but even at work, you couldn't get the nightmare out of your head. The sight of Clark getting killed by a blurry smudge that you couldn't quite picture, you knew it was mainly black, or was it purple, and It had hints of blue-ish green. You wrote it off as just you worrying too much about a nightmare, that was until it continued for weeks, even when you weren't seeing the horrid sight you had constant anxiety, which was unusual, it scared you, what if it wasn't just a dream? You eventually thought your best bet would be going to a shrink, now obviously you were a bit vague about the details but he told you that it was just stress and anxiety manifesting and it would be fine, but to also talk to Kara and Clark. So that's what you did, you went home and told Kara you were still having the nightmare and even seeing it during the day, as well as your increased anxiety caused by it all.

She and you spent the evening trying to figure out the cause, and if it's a premonition or just your subconscious being paranoid. The two of you decide to go back to a therapist to see if you can try and resolve the problem. In one session you are talking to your therapist when you have another "vision" this time you saw the destruction the fight between the blurry figure and Clark had down to metropolis and the surrounding area, it had completely decimated most of the upper side of the city. After the vision ended you decided to get up and leave the session, determined to find either what was causing the visions or the figure in them. You flew up into the air and started listening for anything that could indicate what you were searching for, even using your x-ray vision to look around better, you spent nigh on an hour until Kara heard you flying around past the speed of sound causing a massive boom.

A few moments later you saw her fly up behind you and you slowed down to meet her, "What are you doing flying round and round so fast?" She asked as it was a pretty valid question. "I'm tryna find whatever's either in or causing these dumb premonitions" you said a bit annoyed from the lack of sleep and constant sense of impending doom you felt for your best friend. "I'm assuming you haven't seen or heard anything?" She said, "Nope" you responded still annoyed, before flying off again to continue searching, leaving Kara a bit surprised by your coldness towards her just then. She decided to help you look but felt it would be best if she let you have some time alone before rejoining you. A while later you saw another vision, this time it wasn't Clark fighting it was just a single image, the crest Kara and Clark wore, bloodied and scratched. After coming too after that one you realized you were no longer flying up high in the sky but were falling, straight towards the Atlantic Ocean, and Splash, you were now in the freezing cold Atlantic Ocean in the middle of the night. Thankfully your suit was waterproof, and you can't exactly get hypothermia other wise you would probably be near death.

You flew out of the water and headed towards dry land, before stopping and checking your phone, you saw that you had 6 unread texts from Kara and three missed calls.

My Other Half ❤️ Kara: hey babe, what time you think you'll be back home? 9:03pm

My Other Half ❤️ Kara: ? 9:37pm

Missed call

My Other Half ❤️ Kara: are you ignoring me? If so why? 10:11pm

Missed call

My Other Half ❤️ Kara: Baby, are you all good? Did you find anything? 10:45pm

My Other Half ❤ Kara: Im going to just go to bed if you're gonna be ignoring my texts 11:00pm

Missed call

My Other Half ❤️ Kara: GN I guess 11:15pm

Shit, you thought to yourself, you didn't wanna piss her off, you just felt like you were being too much of a burden on her with all of this right now. You also decided that you didn't really want to go back until you had at least found something so you would have a somewhat valid reason for ignoring her, even though you knew you didn't. You checked the time. Seeing it was nearing 2:30 in the morning you decided to just stay up and continue till the morning when you had to go back to work again, God you really didn't want to. Screw it, you thought I'll call in sick later, even if you did kinda need the money, you figured one day off wouldn't make too much of a difference.

Later that morning you decided to call Lois and ask to talk to her later. The two of you met up in the early afternoon and you told her about your visions, she was worried to say the least, she wasn't a hundred percent sure she believed you were having "premonitions" but still. She said that you should tell Clark, scratch that, you have to tell him. You got up and left after that, still not wanting to tell your best friend he might die, and that you've seen him die countless times in the same way over and over. But you knew it had to be done eventually.

THE END

#sasha calle x reader #sasha calle x male reader #sasha calle supergirl #supergirl x reader #superman x reader #superman x male reader #clark kent x reader #clark kent x male reader #gn reader #kara zor el x male reader #lois lane x reader #Lois Lane x male reader #male reader

[rogertaylorshbb]

"therapist" roger Taylor fan fic {part 1}

you had always suffered from depression going to therapy since you were 13. you were 20 now and living on your own but your mother insisted that she pay for your therapy.

you had a usual therapist named "Sam" she was okay, she always listened to your problems and was overall like a bestfriend. it was Wednesday afternoon and you were getting ready for the session when you got a call, it was sam.

"hello, y/n, how are you feeling"

"fine, thank you, I was just getting ready to leave, how are you"

"well I'm afraid I'm feeling under the whether and had to stay home, now I signed in a new therapist for you his name is roger Taylor, you can still decide if you want to have a session with him or cancel today, your choice" same told you.

you didn't know if you should go or not, you know that you probably should, but having a reason to cancel sounded much better. at the end you still decided for you mental heath that you go.

'um, well, I guess I wouldn't mind, just for today" you responded.

Sam then apologized and wished you the best of luck hanging up the phone.

you had to admit you were really nervous to meet roger, but it was probably just for today and then you would just forget about him so you might as well try to be as comfortable as you can be.

you entered the building and told the office lady that you were there for your appointment. she informed you it was in my usual room and that roger was waiting for you in there. you entered the room and was greeted by roger with a hand shake.

"hi there, y/n"

"hello" you said shyly.

"well, have a seat, so how are you feeling"

"um, very nervous, normally I have Sam"

"oh yeah, this must be uncomfortable, I just want you to know I'm here as much as she is, ready to talk about your worries and such"

as the conversation went on you got more comfortable. he was very witty and caring, he seemed to acknowledge you better then anyone, even better then sam.

during the session you began to notice how- how attractive he was. his blonde fluffy hair, his smile, his eyes, his hands, the way he crossed his legs. it was actually insane how hot he was.

when you had realized that you began to get a bit flustered, normally you were into guys my own age not 15 years old then you. you started to blush and rub your hands together.

"you alright?" he asked, noticed that you were getting a bit red.

"yeah, just- just thinking about something"

"would you like to share" he asked very calmly and nicely.

"well, I didn't mention that me and my boyfriend have broken up recently" you blurted on the spot not knowing what to say, it was true though and had been weighing heavy on your shoulders.

"oh, recently? how has this been affecting you up till now?"

"well I just feel very lonely, he- he was my everything and now is just nothing, has disappeared into nothingness and there's nothing I can do about it"

you guys started to talk about it until the session had ended. as he walked you out the door he put a hand on your shoulder to say goodbye. shivers run up your spine and you blushed.

"this was a very nice session, thank you" you whispered to him.

he smiled to himself and said your welcome.

the next week

it was Wednesday again and you were looking forward to the session, mainly because Sam had informed you she was sick again and you had roger.

you walked into rogers office that day to see something that shocked you....

part 2 is on its way [will be posted tomorrow or a bit after that]

#roger taylor imagine #roger meddows taylor #roger taylor queen #roger taylor #roger taylor fan fic #x reader #fan fic #queen #queen smut #roger taylor smut

[copperbadge]

Hi! I'm the ADHD writer therapy anon. Forgot to add you might want to look for therapists specifically trained in CBT/DBT techniques. That's what mine uses. I think you can filter for it on PsychologyToday. Adding also that I love your writing & have been following you for 20 years! Love to Dearborn & Polk.

Aw, thanks! I gave them a cuddle for ya :) And thanks for being such a loyal reader!

I'm wary of CBT/DBT but mainly from reading about them; I suspect while they're perfectly fine as therapeutic techniques, I wouldn't respond well, but who knows. I'm going to talk to my meds psych when we meet next week, and see what he thinks.

What I would find ideal is a therapist I can just do text chat with -- not like "oh I text them whenever I need to talk", but we schedule an hour and sit down and have a session on Slack or something instead of face to face talking. I understand why this isn't really on offer -- they want to be able to gauge tone, which you often need voice/expression for, and even these days a lot of people aren't super proficient in chat-style dialogue. And that's legit, of course as someone treating a Feelings you want to be able to see the Feelings. But I would actually find it much easier to talk about things, I think, if I didn't have to speak, or read their voice/expression in response. Plus reading is faster than listening and if they're figuring out what to say I can do other stuff while I wait for a response. But if nothing else I suppose it's good practice in paying attention.

Part of the problem is, and this is probably the ADHD, I tend to lose sight of specific points I want to make when I'm in conversation with someone, so they end up only getting half of what I tried to say, or a rambling story without a point, and I don't realize it until later. I'm better at it than I used to be, but I'm still considering just writing out what I want to ask my meds psych about instead of trying to explain it verbally. I bet when you do that most people probably make you read it out loud, though, which sounds excruciating.

#sam has adhd #mental health #therapy

[reptilia0freptiles]

Through the Screen

OC fic collab with @violetthunderstorm (Her prologue here: LINK)

This is the first!/Next

Prologue: Cerise

-------------------------------------------------------------

It had been 10 months since it happened. Nile, her roommate, her girlfriend, had died in a fight with a super-powered arsonist, and Cerise had joined a gang of bandits. Weeks later, she failed her first mission and met Sepia and Shamrock, who let her stay at their place. Even though it's been nearly a year, she could tell that Shamrock disliked her, however they were more tolerable with each other now (with a little bit of pushing and nagging from Sep). Cerise still had her job out in Stickcity as a therapist, and life was pretty chill. She kept in contact with her client, and she had friends to hang out with.

She was coming home from work, on a particularly nice day. The wind whistled in her hair, the birds flew free from the treetops, and the digital forest around her was bustling with hidden life. The magenta stick figure took a moment to take in the scene. And then a purple hollowhead with WINGS suddenly glided down before her.

"Hi! What's your name?" the strange stick asked brightly as she landed, holding out a hand for Cerise to shake. She just, flew down, and expected her to act normal? SHE COULD FLY?! Her next words, after regaining enough composure to speak, reflected her terrified confusion. "DID YOU JUST FLY DOWN HERE?!" The new figure looked with a bamboozled expression, "Yes... is that not okay? I've never been here before." She fiddled with her necklace, and Cerise felt a twinge of guilt for her outburst. She shook her head, explaining, "Not illegal, per say, more like nobody wants to interact with a super-powered stick." Cerise remembered what happened Nile. "Neither do I..." she mumbled. "Oh, sorry about that. I don't have any powers, I'm just wearing a set of wings I drew before leaving my PC. I can take them off if they're making you uncomfortable." Well, at least the new stick didn't seem dangerous, and Cerise shook her head as she responded, giving a weak smile "Nah, it's fine. But maybe it's better so no one else sees you. Anyway, I'm Cerise. Vivid Cerise." She took another second to observe the new stick, and nearly didn't hear her introduction. "I'm Amethyst. Why would it be bad if I were seen?" as she asked, Amethyst shot Cerise a confused look. The answer to that was easy. "Not many sticks around here like superpowers or the such anymore. Long story short, we ended up with a blown up mountain because who knows why." she explained. Amethyst nodded. "That does sound pretty bad. I'll put my wings away for now. Better to be safe probably. Would you like to be friends?" Wait. That was pretty quick. Cerise blinked, then gave a more genuine smile. "Yeah, sure, why not?"

"Hell yeah! I've only been in this world for about half an hour and I already made a friend!" Amethyst was hyped, just by making a new friend. She invited Cerise to visit the PC and told her about her creator, Stella. "She's really cool. We're best friends. It was actually her idea for me to explore here when we found a way here hidden behind the WiFi." That sounds intriguing. And fun. Cerise nodded, "Sure. I didn't realise you were a created stick, but that makes sense. I'll go." Before she could react, Amethyst swooped her up and took her threw a hole in the sky, and up into Stella's PC. Upon arriving, Cerise heard a voice from through the screen. "Back already- Oh! Who's that stick figure? New friend? My name's Stella, what's yours?" Ah, so this must be the creator. She awkwardly stepped closer to the cursor and introduced herself. "I'm Cerise. Nice to meet you." Stella didn't react. "She can't hear you through the screen. Use this." Amethyst handed her a textbox. It seemed... inconvenient. "Seriously? Fine." Cerise took it and typed her greeting. "Oh. Cerise huh? Nice name. Would you like to play videogame with me?" Hmm, did she? Well, she knew that Shamrock wouldn't mind if she didn't come back in a few hours so she figured it was fine. "Sure, I can play! I'll have to go back down to stickcity soon, so let's make this quick" After playing videogames for a few brilliant hours, Amethyst dropped (not literally, thank cursors) her back through the portal home, and Cerise promised to bring Shamrock and Sepia next time. Heh, they wouldn't believe this.

------------------------------------------------------------

End of Prologue II

#reptilia writing #reptilia OCs #Collab w/ Violet

[mrsparknamjoon]

Heyy! Just checking in on you<3 It's been quiet here for a while. I'm the one who fell in love with your story, Reliability! Your work was one of the first things that made me excited about writing on tumblr. I often check your profile to see if you've updated anything. And it's totally fine even if you haven't. I just hope you're doing okay and you're taking care of yourself:)) Just wanted to let you know that. Sending big hugs<33

Have a nice day:))

hiiii, hello!! it’s so wonderful to meet you 💕 i often asked myself who liked reliability that much and it’s you

it sure has been quiet, you’re right. i used to write a lot, then i got stuck and couldn’t barely write 2 sentences, then i met someone and suddenly this little online world of mine wasn’t a priority anymore bc i started living everything i ever wished, read and wrote about

i do miss it though! writing fanfics allowed me to work through some emotions and feelings i didn’t know i needed to. even my therapist said i should try it again and see what comes out 🤨

these past few months were incredible. i grew a lot and some days i really wanna translate that into a new story bc it wasn’t all easy peasy lemon squeezy lol being in a relationship is hard. i’m definitely a different person and i’m confident i can write better material once the inspiration strikes me

the fact that one of my stories inspired you to write is insane to me. thank you again!! i would be honored to read some of your stuff. pls send me some links 🙏🏼

last but not least, yes i’m doing okay. however, i must admit i haven’t been taking care of myself. not as diligently or as fondly as i take care of my boyfriend. next step is relearning how to do that

i appreciate you reaching out and i’m definitely looking forward to more interactions between us ✨ have a wonderful week, xx

#category: answered #hoebaring #i miss being part of this community

[smoochkooks]

okaaaaay I'm gonna rant here for a bit, don't mind me.

sometimes I just feel so lonely. I have a friend group but I'm not really so close to anyone that I can share all my feelings with. people around me all have their 'besties' they speak on the phone with every day and I only have my mom who calls me every 2 days to check up on me. no matter how much I try, I feel like I'm never enough for somebody. and trust me, I've been living on this planet for 22 years and I'm used to this but still it just... hurts, you know? I don't think I'm a bad person. I have so much empathy in me, I'm always willing to help not expecting anything in return and yet, still, it's never enough. people were going crazy during the 2020 lockdown because they couldn't leave their houses and I was completely fine because... that's my reality. I feel the most at ease when I'm all by myself, laying in my bed. do you know why I started writing and posting fanfiction? cause it makes me feel less lonely. cause I know there's someone out there who actually appreciates what I do.

I live day by day, I go to uni, I go to work, I cook, I clean, I read a book, I binge watch some show, I visit my parents and my cat whenever I'm able to, and once in a blue month I actually do go out. and the cycle continues. if someone asked me when I'm the most happy I'd say when I go to sleep and I know I don't have to wake up early the next day.

I thinking about going to therapy again but shit is just so expensive. and for therapy to actually work you have to have weekly meetings with your therapist and it feels like too much for me. I'd rather meet up every two weeks, so there's that. I now realize that there's a lot I still need to unpack that I haven't even mentioned when I used to go to therapy in 2020 and it kinda keeps haunting me. also I'd love to talk to someone about my 'love problems' cause there are days when I question whether I'll be ever able to date somebody cause the idea of sharing so much of my life with a (gags) man scares the shit out of me lol am I gay with internalized homophobia? am I asexual? or am I just too much of a misandrist to actually believe I'd find a suitable partner for me that's going to meet up alllllll my expectations? probably the last one. yeah.

thank you for coming to my ted talk. it's good to just spill it out sometimes. I love u all.