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wasteddmoondust · 2 days

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pineapple || james potter

pairing: james potter x reader 1,219 words, teacher and james go on their first date! what could go wrong? a/n: can you tell i am horrible at titling my fics... somehow i just need it to relate to what happens. so uh. enjoy!

prev. chapter

You feel your heart going absolutely crazy. You know it's first-date jitters, but somehow it feels worse this time. It's nothing special, really. You try to tell yourself. Just another first date. Just like other first dates (that has turned to nothing...) And now this first date is the father of one of the children you teach. Yeah, nothing special.

After several attempts to make yourself busy by looking at your phone, you hear your name. It's James and he's walking up to you.

"First name basis already?" you ask smugly.

He chuckles, "What? Sorry, I guess I'll just call you-"

"Please don't, I hate being called that outside of work."

"Got it."

The two of you walk together and he leads you to a quaint coffee shop, James swears by the coffee made here. When the orders are made you find a seat and sit down.

"It's been a while since I've been on a date," he says, hands fidgeting with the receipt.

"Same here," you admit.

He stops playing with the receipt and furrows his brows. "Really? But I'm the parent."

"And I'm the one taking care of your kid for a whole day, 20 kids, actually."

"Huh... and you don't even meet people in the industry?"

You snort. "Unfortunately no, a lot of them are older and married with kids. There's no one to date there. Trust me, even the older teachers try to make me get on dating apps. If anything, you're doing them a favour."

He grins that grin that makes your heart do a little flip. Oh god, it's happening, huh?

"I'm happy to do that."

You continue your conversation, keeping it light with small talk. Then, a waiter comes by to give you your meal and you both thank him. James' phone dings, he checks the message and he replies to it while you patiently wait for him.

He looks back up at you and keeps his phone. "Sorry, my best friend is taking care of Harry today, he was just sending an update."

"That's alright. Is he doing okay?"

"Harry?" he asks, looking a little nervous. His arms are resting crossed on the table. "Uh- yeah. He's fine. Not so sure about Sirius. He just said he's letting Harry use his tattoos as a colouring book."

You laugh. "Yeah, I can see that. He does love to colour. Have you always wanted to be a father?"

James looks stunned, but laughs it off. "Not a normal question for the first date, is it?"

"Well since you already are one," you shrug.

James thinks for a while before answering. "Yeah... I've always wanted kids... Well I'm sure you've seen from the documents I sent to the school when Harry enrolled. I'm widowed..."

You nod, you do in fact know this, you had read through those documents for every child. Understanding their family structure and dynamics can be a big help in understanding the child and improving their development in school and at home.

"She uh- had complications at birth and didn't make it." He let out a sigh and shrugged. "So now it's just me and Harry. And I wouldn't trade him for the world.

"You really love him, don't you?"

"I do."

"You know you can talk about him, right?"

James looks down and purses his lips. "It's just that... other people I've dated weren't really... keen on the fact that I have a kid. You know, another person's child and all."

You tilt your head down to try and make eye contact with him. Somehow, your hand reaches out to his. "You know that doesn't matter to me, right? I already knew you had a son, hell, I even taught him for a whole year, and I still accepted your date."

His mouth forms a small frown, but his hand grabs yours anyway. "I just didn't want to seem weird."

"You're not. Promise," you give his hand a squeeze.

"Is it too early to want to kiss you?"

You both stare at each other for a second before you burst out laughing, making him laugh too.

James starts to tell you about Harry, and visibly gets more comfortable the more he does it. He tells stories from his first words to potty fails. He shows videos and pictures. From there, the both of you fall into an easy rhythm of branching from topic to topic in your conversation. You exchange bites of your food. Before you know it, you're laughing while your meal is long done and you're both on your second cup of coffee.

For some reason, you feel an itch in your throat.

Nonchalantly, you ask, "Did your pasta have pineapple?"

"Yes, why?"

"Firstly, who the hell puts pineapple in pasta? Secondly, I think I'm having an allergic reaction."

James sits up in a panic. "Oh god- I'm so sorry-"

You cough into your first. "It's fine, it usually doesn't react as bad as it used to but I like to stay away from pineapples anyway. I'm not gonna die. Can you get me some cold water, please?"

He immediately stands up and gets you a glass from the counter. You down the glass in seconds and you feel better.

"I'm so sorry that was embarrassing-"

"You're sorry? I gave you a bite!"

"I forgot to ask, it's my fault."

He gently places a hand on your shoulder. "I'm so sorry, let me make it up to you"

"James, trust me, it's fine-"

"I'll bring you on a second date."

You furrow your brows. "You just saw me cough my lungs out from an allergic reaction and you still want to bring me out?" you can't help but laugh at the ridiculousness.

"I mean... I still find you attractive after all that so if you find me attractive after I rambled about my own child to you though you have taught him for this past year I don't see why not."

At this point, you're pretty sure your cheeks hurt from all the smiling you've been doing the entire time.

Despite your protests, James insists on driving you home. When you reach the entrance to your apartment building, he tells you to wait before rushing out of the car to open the door to the passenger's side. You giggle and take the hand he holds out to you as you step out of his car.

He tugs the hand that is holding yours to make you face him. He's so close, you're desperately hoping your cheeks don't show how flushed you are.

"So... same time next week?" you suggest.

He nods. "No pineapples this time, guaranteed."

"And you're allowed to talk about Harry."

He beams at that, looking down and letting out a sigh before looking back at you. "Is it still too early to kiss you?"

"Yes, but for now I'll give you this," you press a kiss to his cheek. You slowly walk towards your building, your arms stretching until you gently let go when you're too far away. "I'll see you next week!"

And like that, you disappear into the building. James is left standing there, still in disbelief of the entire day.

He lets out a sigh, smiling, and gets into his car. He 's so excited to tell Sirius when he gets home.

a/n: if i'm being so honest i have zero idea how most allergies work so please don't get technical with me... also!!!! thank you so much for the love on part one eek i am on a roll i'm so happy to be writing this series.

taglist: @willows-lane @celosiastarr @nsr-15

#marauders x reader #marauders imagine #zee writes #james potter x reader #james potter imagine #james potter x you

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softpine · 1 day

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can i just word vomit for a min...

there was a point in late 2023 where i felt like i overstayed my welcome on simblr and i planned on just wrapping frozen pines up as quickly as possible and moving on. continuing to write when it's clear that the audience for it is dwindling felt so embarrassing that i almost didn't even want to put effort into it anymore, because i was afraid it just looked pathetic (obligatory disclaimer: no one made me feel this way, you're all so lovely, it's just the nature of seeing a community change over 7 years). writing already feels very personal to me and it's becoming increasingly harder for me to put my work out there (again, for reasons unrelated to simblr and entirely related to mental illness 🤙🏻). i know my story is so long that it deters new readers, and so sporadic that it makes old readers drop off with time. this has really been bothering me lately because i don't know what i can do to fix it. i don't think there IS anything i can do.

but. okay. don't make fun of me for saying this. dan and phil returning to youtube kinda changed my mindset? they may be pulling a fraction of the views they got in their peak, but they're happier than they've ever been and they're working on things they actually want to do, not things they think will be particularly popular. seeing that has made me realize that it is possible to keep finding joy in a community that has largely moved on without you. obviously my little blog is nowhere near the same scale, so this feels kind of silly, but i've been thinking about all the things i used to do on simblr that were never fun for me, i mainly did them because i knew they would get notes or because i felt like i had to do it. making cc, lookbooks, sim requests, reshade help (oh my god the reshade help), lot downloads, etc. they DID get notes, but i can't imagine spending my time doing any of that stuff ever again tbh.

on top of that, it makes me sad to scroll through my dash and realize that i don't recognize most of the people i see anymore. i still talk to some wonderful people here who i consider friends and that's invaluable to me (💖), but the broader community aspect is something i no longer feel a part of. and believe me, i know i'm at fault here because it's not like i'm going out of my way to talk to new people or participate in trends like i used to. i don't blame anyone except the passage of time!!

frozen pines, and simblr by extension, played such a gigantic part in my life when i needed it the most. and that's not to say that i don't still care about it, because i absolutely do, but it's a different kind of feeling. i've always promised that i would give frozen pines a satisfying conclusion rather than silently abandoning it someday, and though i do intend to keep that promise, i know it's possible that i might never get there. but i don't want to let my own insecurities get in the way of something i really enjoy doing. writing is an intrinsic piece of me that i'll never quit doing, but sharing my writing on tumblr is something that can't (and shouldn't) last forever. i know that. but i'm going to enjoy it to the fullest while we're all still here together 💞

to anyone who's still reading my silly story after all these years (especially those of you who still check in on my blog even though you're not on simblr anymore): thank you thank you thank you THANK YOUUU. you don't have to change a single thing about what you're doing. this is not me fishing for compliments or putting down an ultimatum, this is just me trying to make sense of my feelings.

but with all this being said, i've decided to quit simblr and start my own exclusive streaming service for $60 a year, i hope you'll all support me as i increase my production value 😌

(just kidding. ily. okay that's all)

#to be 100% clear this is not a goodbye - i'm literally halfway done with the next story post #just sort of an update on the state of my brain #👍🏻#btw...... sorry to Watcher fans lmaoo you guys really got the short end of the parasocial relationship stick..... </3 #that's not relevant to anything i've said here i've just spent way too much time thinking about how youtube has changed in the past 20 year #because i'm a loser that got really into youtube when i was 11 and never looked back #and then the watcher thing happened. and i was like ohhh if dan and phil did that to me i would have to die about it.

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princessviana · 3 days

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Inkbound

CHAPTER 2

Pairings:

Yandere Taehyung x OC × Yandere Jungkook

Warning: This story is a work of fanfiction and is purely a product of the author's imagination. It does not depict any real-life events or individuals. While some characters may be inspired by real-life idols, their portrayal in this story is fictional and not representative of their true selves. Please note that this story may contain triggering content, including themes of abuse, gore, murder, humiliation, bullying, rape, and other mature and dark themes. Reader discretion is advised, especially for those under the age of 18. If you are uncomfortable with such content, it is recommended to refrain from reading and kindly disregard this story.

Fae's pov.

Where on earth am I and how the hell did I end up here?! This questions has been repeating in my mind for what feels like the hundredth time. I find myself lost in a seemingly endless maze of hallways, each one identical to the last, lined with countless doors. I've been wandering for hours, yet I'm no closer to finding the exit. My sense of freedom feels as elusive as ever.

I really want to see my family.

Suddenly, I overhear a group of maids conversing in hushed, panicked tones. The name "Yana" floats through the air, causing me to pause.

Yana?

Earlier, I heard the name Jungkook, and now Yana? These names sound eerily familiar, like the characters from a book I once read. But I shake the thought away. I need to focus on finding a way out of here.

As the sound of quick, hurried footsteps echo through the hallway, I panic and bolt towards the nearest door. Thankfully, it's unlocked. I slip inside and slam the door shut behind me, breathing a sigh of relief as the footsteps recede into the distance.

Suddenly, a deep, familiar voice breaks the silence, "What are you doing here?"

I flinched and whirl around in fear and find myself face-to-face with him.Again.

"You!" I exclaim, my eyes locking with the handsome, yet intimidating man I had encountered earlier in the hallway. He's lounging on a king-sized bed, dressed in a black robe that reveals a hint of his chest as he leans back casually.

I swallow hard, my heart pounding in my chest. It's not the first time I've seen a man dressed in such a way, but something about him makes my skin tingle with heat. I quickly shake the thought away, reminding myself that I need to focus on escaping, not drooling on the man in front of me.

"I asked you a question, didn't I, Yana?" His voice, deep and alluring, pulls me back from my thoughts.

"I–um actually–I," I stutter badly and I don't know why I am being like this.I mentally scolded myself for my lack of composure.

"I WHAT? CAN YOU STOP STUTTERING!?" He suddenly shouts, causing me to flinch, he suddenly stood up and in an instant, he's standing before me. I attempt to open the door to escape, but he slams it shut again, causing me to squeak in surprise.

"Please – I was just looking for the exit," I manage to whisper, my gaze falling to the floor.

Silence fills the room before he finally speaks, "Are you fucking kidding me?" His harsh words cause me to flinch and I close my eyes in fear. I miss my brother, Jae. This man is terrifying.

"C–can you just let me go! I really want to go!" I summon the courage to shout at him, immediately regretting it when I see the murderous look in his eyes and I swear I see his eyes turned even more darker.

"Did you just fucking yell at me?" He asks quietly, his deep voice sending chills down my spine. He grasps my arms tightly, causing me to hiss in pain. I try to push him away as I put my hands in his chest as I attempted to get some distance from him, tears welling up in my eyes from the pain of his tight grip.

"Mister! You're hurting me!" I cry out in distress, tears now streaming down my cheeks. He looks at me blankly, seemingly uncaring of my pain.

He finally releases his grip, scoffing, "Mister, huh?" He laughs, a dark, chilling sound that sends a shiver down my spine. I quickly distance myself from him, confusion and fear swirling within me.

'What's wrong with him?Does he have anger issues or something?'

"Where did Honey go?" He asks suddenly that made me look at him again, his voice cold and detached.

I frowned at that before sighing in frustration.

'What in the world was he talking about?'

"You're not my lover to be called like that!" I shout back, taken aback by his question.

...

We suddenly fall into an awkward silence and I don't know if I said something bad or what,as he just look at me blankly and it's really uncomfortable as he only stared at me blankly.

"Get out," he finally orders, walking away from the door and disappearing into what I assume is his bathroom. I seize the opportunity to escape the room,away from this crazy man, once again finding myself lost in the maze of hallways.

Author's perspective

As the man hears the slam of his bedroom door, he sighs, looking at his reflection in the mirror. He frowns, thinking back to the interaction with the woman. Shaking his head, he chuckles quietly to himself, unties his bathrobe, and steps into his bathtub. His mind is still consumed by the thoughts of her.

"What's happening with you again?" He murmurs to himself, closing his eyes.

Minutes pass, but he finds himself growing increasingly agitated. He recalls her shouting at him for the first time. Despite the times he had hurt or yelled at her, she had never once raised her voice at him. This sudden change in her behavior leaves him feeling restless, a feeling he doesn't particularly enjoy.

"God damn it! Get it out of your head! It's just a yell and it made you restless!" He scolds himself, gritting his teeth.

Why is he so affected by a simple change in a woman's attitude?

No, he convinces himself, it's just because he's not used to it. He groans, running his fingers through his wet hair.

Meanwhile, Fae finally breathes a sigh of relief when she spots a staircase leading down to what she assumes is a living room. She can't help but giggle in joy, relief washing over her. She's finally found a way out of this strange house.

Just as she's about to descend the stairs, she overhears a conversation that stops her in her tracks. She turns to see the same man from earlier, the one who had nearly choked her, talking to a girl she doesn't recognize.

"Nara, please stay. She won't hurt you anymore, I promise, okay?"

'Nara? Again? Another name from the book?!'

"But, Jungkook, I'm scared. What if she will hurt–" The girl's words trail off as her gaze lands on Fae, who is standing on the stairs. The girl gasps and hides behind Jungkook.

Jungkook follows her gaze and locks eyes with Fae, who is frozen on the stairs. Fae breaks their gaze and continues her descent, heading towards the front door, completely ignoring them.

Jungkook frowns, watching as Fae disappears outside through the door.This behavior is unusual for her. She would normally become furious if she caught him talking to Nara. This change leaves him feeling perplexed but shrugged it off as he again face the scared woman and embrace her.

...

Meanwhile, Fae continued her sprint towards what she perceived as freedom. The sight of the magnificent golden gates filled her with delight, and a joyous laugh escaped from her lips as she relished the feeling of liberation. Finally, she thought, running at full speed towards the gates.

But just as she was about to touch the gates, she found herself being lifted off her feet, swept into the air that made her shout suddenly in startlement,panic surged within her as she closed her eyes and silently pleaded for the person to let her go, her body tense. Strong arms was wrapped around her waist, setting her back on her feet, away from the gates.Turning her head and glaring at the man responsible for stopping her, she got awestruck suddenly when she sees a handsome man closed to her and it suddenly vanished her anger as the man grinned at her with such a beautiful smile.

"Can we talk, Yana?" he asked suddenly that made her snap out of her staring to the man, his words now causing her to frown as she came to a standstill, halting her resistance.

'what did he call me?'

"I'm not Yana!" she retorted forcefully, watching as he blinked a couple of times before mumbling something under his breath.

"So, they were telling the truth," he muttered, causing her to question what he meant, while still trying to free herself from his grasp.

"Let's go. I know Uncle is looking for you," he said, his tone turning cold as he dragged her towards the mansion once again, her protests falling on deaf ears.

Reluctantly, Fae allowed herself to be pulled along, feeling the weight of resignation settle upon her.

Then the next she found herself in a living room surrounded by eight unknown people, their glaring eyes making her feel small and insignificant.

Intimidated, she lowered her gaze, avoiding their piercing stares.

"Yana."

Then, a raspy voice rang out, calling the name Yana again. Fae again looked up, her brows furrowing as she met the gaze of the man who had spoken.

"Are you calling me Yana?" she asked, her fear and confusion evident.

'Yana? Why are they calling me that? Wait – no! That's absurd! Realization dawned on her suddenly, bringing with it a wave of absurdity that was difficult for her to comprehend.

Jungkook, then Nara, and now Yana?

This couldn't be a coincidence any longer. Fae's mind swirled with fear, unable to fully grasp the unfolding events.

No, this is absurd! she thought to herself, fear gripping her as she struggled to make sense of the situation.

"Who else here goes by the name Yana?" a deep mocking voice interrupted her thoughts, prompting her to look at the man who suddenly speaks.

' him again?'

Wait! If Jungkook was the man to the left, then who was this other man? A sudden chill ran down her spine as she hastily scrambled away from him, retreating until her back was pressed against the far end of the plush couch. The man looked at her, his expression one of confusion, mirroring the baffled looks of everyone else in the room.

"Yana, I've been informed about your recent actions. Is it true?" The older man who had addressed her earlier, presumably in his 50s, asked again, his eyes filled with concern.

"What do you mean by that?" Fae questioned, her tone laced with distress, which only seemed to annoy the man.

A scoff from the left drew her attention back to Jungkook, who was glaring at her, leaning back in his chair with his arms and legs crossed. "What's your problem, huh?" Fae retorted, her irritation evident in her voice. This caused a ripple of shock to spread through the room, especially amongst the two younger men.

'What's with them? Is this the first time they've heard a woman speak up? Because right now, I'm guessing it is.' Fae thought, rolling her eyes at them before returning her glare to Jungkook, who was now clenching his jaw and glaring back even more intensely. Their staring contest was interrupted when the older man cleared his throat, effectively drawing everyone's attention.

"Yana, this is the last time I will tolerate your reckless behavior! I'll let it slide this time!" He declared, standing up and swiftly exiting the room, followed by two other men. This left only six of them in the room: herself, the two men she had met earlier, and the man who had dragged her here.

"What's going on with you, Yana? Is this another—" The man who had brought her here attempted to break the silence, only to be cut off by a single glare from her.

"Don't call me that!" Fae yelled furiously, standing up as she was overcome with confusion and frustration. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes, and unable to hold them back any longer, she broke down crying in front of the five men.

"Hey! What did you do to noona!?" Suddenly, a young boy burst into the living room upon hearing the sound of a girl crying. He was met with the sight of Fae in tears, while the men could only exchange helpless looks, unsure of what to do next.

Taehyung, on the other hand, scoffed in disbelief, assuming that this was just another one of her tactics to gain sympathy. He stood up and left the room, followed by Jungkook, leaving the girl crying on the couch. Everyone else also departed, except for the young boy who hugged the weeping woman tightly, their minds filled with the assumption that she, whom they believed to be Yana, was once again trying to manipulate them into pitying her and taking her side.

As minutes passed, Fae gradually calmed down, thanks to the comforting presence of the boy who refused to let go of her. She lifted her head to look at him, and he offered her a white towel to wipe away her tears. Gratefully, she accepted it and smiled at the boy with all her heart.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, noona. But why were you crying again?" the boy innocently asked, tilting his head in confusion. Fae sighed and shook her head, unsure of how to explain that she felt like she was trapped in a story or perhaps even a dream. She hoped desperately that she would wake up from this ordeal soon, as being here felt like being in a living hell. She could sense the pain and sadness that consumed the person she assumed was Yana,that she was in, both physically and mentally.

"What's your name, little guy?" Fae asked, diverting the conversation.

The boy looked at her with surprise but answered, "I'm Kim Taehoon, noona. Do you really not remember us?"

Fae's breath caught in her throat.

'Kim Taehyung's little brother... So, I really am in a book?!' she thought, still in shock at what was happening. She sighed and nodded her head.

'If I'm really here, then I am Yana?'

"What's my name again?" Fae asked, seeking confirmation.

"You're Yana," Taehoon answered, grinning at her.

'Oh God! Wait... If I was her, then I can finally change that woman's fate!' Fae suddenly stood up, a plan brewing in her mind. She smiled widely and laughed to herself, leaving Taehoon wide-eyed as he watched her grinning at something in the distance, which turned out to be a large vase of flowers.

"What's so funny about those flowers?" Taehoon scratched his head, perplexed, before looking back at Fae, who was still lost in her thoughts, staring at the vase with a grin.

Meanwhile, Fae was busy planning her stay in this dream, if that's indeed what it was. She was still waiting to wake up, aware of the danger that lurked within the pages of this book, especially with those two individuals. She looked down at the boy again and sat down, holding Taehoon's little hands in hers. Taehoon smiled sweetly at her.

'Kim Taehoon, the child character of the book. He was accidentally shot by Yana when she and Nara were fighting in this very living room. Yana accidentally fired the gun, and poor Taehoon got caught in the crossfire. But this time, I promise you'll live. But first, I need to know what this girl did to end up in this state again.'

"Can I ask you something, Taehoon?" Fae spoke softly, and Taehoon nodded.

"Um, you see, I'm still experiencing memory loss or something. Can you tell me what I did before I... you know, before I had this memory loss?"

Taehoon looked away for a moment before clearing his throat, ready to share what she needed to know.

"The whole family except your father,attended a party celebration. While we were there, you followed Nara noona to the restroom upstairs. We heard you arguing, and then we saw you both pulling each other's hair. You tripped and fell down the stairs, but luckily, the stairs weren't very high."

Taehoon's voice carried a hint of sadness.

'So, the party was organized by the Parks. This is the event that leads to her downfall, where she gets framed by Nara. That b*tch... Let's see who becomes the villain now,'Fae thought, internally smirking as she stood up.

"You should go, Taehoon. Your tutor will be here soon—"

Just as she was about to finish her sentence, the door swung open, and a tall, well-built man in a white polo shirt and black pants entered, wearing glasses. Fae found herself drooling over this angelic figure, and the man smiled as his eyes landed on the two of them, revealing his dimples. Fae internally squealed in delight.

Kim Namjoon.

Fae smirked, recognizing the character from the dimples on his handsome face.

'Kim Namjoon, Kim Taehoon's genius tutor. He's secretly in love with Yana, but she chases after the wrong guys, those two psychos. Why chase after them when there's someone better? This man has been silently loving Yana and helping her whenever she's in need. When she discovered his love for her, she used it for her own gain, dragging him down along with Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jungkook, and the four other men to kill her in the end.'

"Long time no see, beautiful," Namjoon greeted her with a compliment, his deep voice making her blush. He relished in the sight of her blushing, feeling complete as the beautiful woman before him reacted to his words,for the first time.

"Nice to see you too, Joonie," Fae smirked, using the nickname she had given him when she was reading the book. Namjoon widened his eyes in shock, blushing even more than she did. He couldn't believe that the woman he had secretly loved had given him a nickname.

'Kim Namjoon, nice to finally meet you,' Fae thought, her smirk growing wider.

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hiwelcometothemonstersancturary · 2 days

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so, I read the whole "House Tour (not the house we wanted, but the house we have)", and I loved it so much, and I asked a question after reading it because of the ending, so what was everyone's reaction of toys eating pizza for the first time?

Your First Ever Pizza Night

Synopsis: Angel has to teach the toys how to eat pizza. It's confusing.

---

James' eyes were so wide you thought they would pop out of his head. You nervously smiled at him, feeling the eyes of the toys staring at you from inside the house. "Thank you for your work", you tell him, money in hand. "I, uhm, am sorry for how Catnap tried to scare you away".

"I-it's okay!", he shakes his head. "No big deal, don't worry, Angel".

You eye the group from behind. Catnap tilts his head, still not very trusting of the stranger. You figured that would be the tenth human he talks to in more than a decade. "Take care, okay?"

"You too", he takes the money, counts, and then sighs. You also sigh, giving him a pat in the back. "Man, you really scared everyone out there. I thought you had... You know".

"I've been clean for years. I wouldn't do that", you reassure him. "And now I have those guys to look out for".

Your friend chuckles. "Feeling the weight of parenting on your shoulders already?"

"Urgh, don't even let me start talking about it", you smile. "Okay, I'll head inside now. I don't think half of them know what pizza is".

You tell James your goodbyes, watching him leave. You feel guilty for having him deliver so many pizzas to you, but it is what it is, the kids (your kids) must be hungry. You prepare yourself mentally before entering the house, closing the front door:

"So! Who's hungry?"

Dogday adjusts himself in the sofa as most of the mini toys yell "me!", rushing towards you, including the mini huggy that was using him as an oversized pillow. You laugh as they swarm you, and you pick up Driver and Bunzo on your arms. The little green huggy stims her hands, while Bunzo climbs on your shoulders: "Show us what that pizza thing is! Show us!"

"Bunzo, you're going to fall if you keep like this", Long Legs warns him, stretching all the way from the other corner of the living room to shoosh the crowd away. One catbee blows a raspberry at her, annoyed. "Get away from them! They're going to fall if you guys keep on like this!", the same catbee from before repeats the gesture, but now a candy cat and a bron imitate her gesture. "Angel!"

"You heard her", your warn the little ones. "C'mon, guys".

They coo away, and you watch Catnap proudly looking after the mini critters, most of whom didn't swarm you. He really is their big brother, uh...?

"Okay, guys. Are you ready?"

Driver stims again as you enter the kitchen, piles of pizza boxes distributed in the counters. Delight is counting them, muttering numbers under her breath, and stops when she notices you: "We have 26 boxes for 80 of us! They may last up to a week if we are careful".

"... What?", you chuckle. "Delight, no. The Prototype gave me enough money to feed everyone for years to come, we don't need to ration our food. You can eat as much as you want to".

You grab the first box you find. Bunzo tries to climb your head to take a look, and you laugh. "Eat as much as we want to? I'm going to explode, then!"

You bring the box to the living room, knowing well the kids are waiting for you to take the first slice. You show the box to Dogday, currently incapable of leaving the sofa thanks to his surgery stitches still being fresh. He deserves to see the first slice, you figured.

"You seeing this, pup?"

"With my two eyes!", Dogday nods. Catnap has approached you, and, with a smile, you open the box: "Behold: Pizza!"

"OOOO!", Bunzo yells. Huggy, who was following you around like a shadow, claps his hands, surprised. Kissy is still holding Poppy, who copies Huggy's clapping.

"It's been so long since I saw a real pizza!", the doll smiles. "And it smells even better!"

"This one is pepperoni pizza. There's 8 slices in every box - you guys should all take one. Eat as much as you want to!"

You take a piece, offering it to Bunzo, who grabs from your hand and shoves it on his mouth. You try your best not to accidentally drop him or Driver thanks to your chukling as he tries to deal with the cheese hanging out from his mouth. "Is elishious! Wha is disss?"

"You're going to get food on Angel's hair", Long Legs politely lifts Bunzo up from your head, using her arm to hold him. "And that's called... Cheese".

"Elishious!", he jumps.

"Please try not to choke!", you offer the next slice to Dogday. The big puppy's eyes go wide, and he shakes his head.

"Give it to the others, Angel..."

"There's enough for everyone, dummy, now eat" you take another slice, giving it to Long Legs, who stared at Bunzo in horror as he was still trying to deal with the cheese. "Theeere you go".

The pink spider stares at her slice with a strange look. She eyes Bunzo, then Dogday, who was holding his own as if it were a delicate piece of ceramic, then opens her mouth, then closes it.

"You eat pizza like this, Long Legs", you grab a slice of your own, biting it and using your teeth and fingers to free yourself from the cheese. Still chewing, you add: "Use your hands to deal with the cheese, everyone, you guys don't want to put too much into your mouths or you'll end up choking on your own food!"

You offered the next slice to Kissy, who stared at it with sparkling eyes before taking her first bite. Huggy bites his in one go, and Driver takes the last one before Delight appears, giving you a new box, still of pepperoni.

"Thank you", you give her a nod. "C'mon, take a slice! You too, Driver".

The mini wuggy jumps from your shoulder, and Delight gives a slice to her first before taking one herself. She blinks many time. "Ooh... This is very... Interesting...?"

She gives it another bite.

"Lots of different tastes... And it's so warm and soft!"

You sigh, noticing Dogday had given his slice to a catbee. "Pizzas aren't exactly soft, but I guess they look like it, considering what you guys had to eat..."

You offer a slice to Catnap.

The feline lowers his head. "Savior, please feed the others first...", he asks. "They're hungrier than me".

"You and Dogday have a lot to learn, uh?", you shake your head. "Okay, kiddos, you heard your boss. There!", you put the box in the ground, watching as the critters stare at you, hesitant. "One slice for each, don't fight each other for more, we have a lot of boxes. Speaking of which, can someone grab the other box... Oh!"

Delight chuckles, one box in each hand. She's polite in the way she gives it to everyone, despite all her isolation. Huggy, on the other hand, is less careful thanks to his lack of proper coordination, but he manages to feed all the mini huggies with some help from Kissy.

Dogday only eats after he's sure every single other toy is doing so. By that point, you're sitting on the sofa, Poppy using a plate, knife and fork to each her own slice of pizza. Catnap merely stares.

"Oh... Ooooh!", the orange dog mutters. His tail is wagging. "A-Angel, this is incredible!"

"Nah, it's just pizza. You're going to have fancier food as soon as I get more groceries".

"Fancier food? Are... Are you sure?"

"The doctors are going to kill me if I don't give you all the nutritients", Dogday stares. "Not literally! It's just a joke!"

"Ah", he sighs, forcing himself to laugh. "Even fancier food, uh...?"

"More!", Bunzo yells, jumping up and down. "I ate two slices already, but I crave more! I think I'll explode!"

"Please don't explode", you mutter. "It hurts".

The bunny mischievously laughs, running towards the kitchen. You eye Catnap, who eyes you back with a head tilt.

"Aren't you going to eat?"

"I... Ate yesterday, savior".

You hear a growl coming from his stomach. "Your 'savior' wants you to eat. Go on, you gotta get those calories. No one should starve".

For the first time since the confrontation agains the Prototype, Catnap lowers his ears and fidgets, nervously looking away from you. Around him, the small critters all eat their own slices, some trying to comfort him with a headbonk or by cuddling next to him.

"Catnap", Dogday calls. "You need to set up a good example for... Them", he points to the critters. "They aren't going to eat more if they see you aren't doing so".

"You know well how our rules work, Dogday. They eat first. Me, second".

"And now you are outside PlayCo. and playing by my own rules, kitty", you bite another slice of pizza, before offering the box to Catnap. "Go on, even Dogday and Long Legs are doing so".

"..."

Catnap's stomach once again growls. Using his hand, he takes a single slice out of the remaining three, eating it in one bite. You patiently wait for his reaction.

His eyes become brighter. His tail curls and moves left and right, and his ears go up as well. He stares at you, asking for permission, and you nod. He eats his second one almost immediately, now using both of his hands so he can take more bites and savor the taste more.

You chuckle, grabbing another box next to you and opening it for him and Dogday to share. The two bigger critters have the same sparkle in their eyes, and both go to their next slice almost at the same time.

This... Feels nice. All of this "family" stuff. Seeing them light up and talk about how this ordinary pizza is the best thing in the entire world, how they are eating so much when only at their second slice. It feels nice. They really are acting like normal kids would.

Maybe we can indeed become the parent they need...?

#poppy playtime #poppy worldwide #save everyone au #ask tag #catnap #dogday #mommy long legs #the angel #miss delight #huggy wuggy #kissy missy #ppt poppy #poppy #garca writing

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mwahsturns · 3 days

Text

First choice // Matt Sturniolo Pt 1

matt sturniolo x fem!reader

Contains: cussing, fluff, flirting, talk of death, Semi-proof read! I think that’s it let me know if there’s more! Also if there’s any grammar or spelling mistakes please ignore them 😭🙏🏻

Synopsis: Y/n works at a record store and one day while she’s working two very cute guys walk into the store but one especially catches her eye and later so happens they end up having more then just there music taste in common ;)

Word Count:1,890

Author’s notes: Hii bbys !! <3, So I’ve never written a fic before or posted on tumblr, So I’m sorry if this is bad I’m new at this please go easy on me😭🙏🏻. If you guys have any suggestions, tips or advice please message me I hope you enjoy my new series!!, this took me a very long time to come up with so I hope you love it💗.

* *:･ﾟ✧💒*:･ﾟ✧

The sound of music always brought me peace, I work at a record shop because I love being around vinyls and just anything music related really. I also really enjoy reading It's always brought me a sense of comfort as well as writing and poetry. Honestly it makes me really happy, and ever since I was a kid I've always written songs and maybe sang a little bit but that’s a secret. I don't know what it is but I always feel like it helps me forget about everything that’s wrong in my life, my parents died when I was 16 so it’s always been just me and my two little brothers. I love them more than anything and I'd do anything for them. Today was just a regular day at work I was putting vinyls on the racks that they go on when two guys walk into the store, I look over and give them a soft smile.

‘hii welcome let me know if you need any help finding any artist or vinyl specifically’ they smile at me and nod as one of the boys catches my eye, I’m a very shy person so I decided not to say anything unless I needed to. After a couple minutes I felt a tap on my shoulder, I turned around and saw the guy who caught my eye standing in front of me. ‘hi um i wanted to ask you something’ he seemed very nervous but also very confident weird mix. ‘yes of course how can i help you’ I smiled softly at him hoping to make him more comfortable, ‘do you happen to have “circles” by Mac miller’ he says as he does a side smile. I smile at him as I think about how I also enjoy mac miller.

‘yea over here!’ i walk over and pull it off the rack, ‘this is one of my favorites’ i say chuckling, ‘i really like this one’ he says turning the vinyl around. ‘what other artists do you like?’ ‘i really like d4vd and um frank ocean oh! Omg Dominic Fike omg Tyler the creator?! is so amazing and oh my god i'm rambling im so sorry’ I blushed getting a little nervous, ‘nah you're good’ he smiles as I look up at him and smile softly. We stand there until the guy he came with comes up to him ‘woah you guys twins or am I dumb?’ ‘nahh triplets’ he says laughing ’oh cool” i say and start checking them out. ‘You're the first to not ask us a million and one questions about being triplets’ he chuckles, ‘yea nah y'all will tell me over time’ I smirk i say with my boston accent coming through a little.

‘oh so you plan on getting to know us’ he smirks a little ‘oh totally y’all look cool’ I laugh, ‘you're from boston?’ The other guy says noticing my backpack in the back with the Boston logo. ‘yes i am’ i laugh ‘us too!’ ‘What's your name?’ The guy who got my eye says ‘I’m y/n’ ‘cool im matt and hes chris’ ahh Matt hot guy hot name. ‘cool!’ I hand them the bag and me and Matt make eye contact, ‘have a good day’ ‘thanks you too’ matt says smiling at me. They walk out and i really hope i see them again.

* *:･ﾟ✧💒*:･ﾟ✧

I finally got to clock out of work It was so tiring and I needed to make sure my little brothers were ok. I get to my car and get settled in and connect my phone to the aux and play “Ivy” by Frank Ocean. I’m so glad to be going home I think as I started driving I decided that I was gonna pick up a pizza for my little brothers because I got paid today and I know how much they love pizza. We aren't broke completely but we definitely struggle sometimes recently things have been rough but I finally got a promotion so it's getting a little easier I got the pizza and started heading home I got home and when i opened the door and my brothers cody and alex run up to me and ‘sissyyyy we missed you’ alex says hugging me, ‘aww i miss you too bud’ ‘sissy you bought pizza!’ Cody says looking like his eyes are gonna pop out of his head.

i walk over to alexa who’s been my best friend for years, she helps me with my brothers and just around the house ‘thank you so much lex’ i say hugging her ‘Of course love that's what best friends are for’ she says smiling softly ‘wanna spend the night and when i put them to bed we can talk?’ ‘yeah okay sure’ Alexa smiles at me while i feed the boys.

I start to give the boys a shower and as i’m showering cody he looks up at me with the biggest smile on his face. ‘sissy I wanna be just like you when i grow up.’ He says playing with the bubbles, ‘aww little c i love you a lot bub and i know one day you’ll be even better than me’ i say tearing up, cody has always been more clingy to me than Alex is but not as much, cody doesn’t like to leave my side and he is the sweetest kid ever. Him saying he wants to be like me does hurt a little because I've been through a lot of shit but the fact that I look strong in his eyes makes up for it all. I put them to bed and Me Alexa got some wine and took a seat on the couch.

‘So how was your day?’ She says sitting next to me. ‘it was good omg lex these two really cute brothers came into the shop and oh my god girl’ I say blushing thinking of Matt ‘speaking of cute brothers you know the guy i was talking to?’ ‘yes why?’ ‘this is him and his brother I’d think you like him’ she turns her phone and pulls out a picture.

‘hold up hold up let me see that?!’ i say taking the phone from her ‘omg thats the cute guys that came in today’ ‘Omg?! yeah i've been talking to chris for a minute now’ ‘matt’s pretty attractive just sayin’ I couldn’t help myself but blush i don’t know what’s wrong with me fuck Y/N get it together. ‘oooo y/n has a crush?’ ‘oh shut the fuck up’ ‘oh come on you haven’t had a boyfriend since your parents died’ she says starting to get serious, ‘i know but my brothers mean the world to me lex i need to make sure there ok i don’t have the time’ I would love to give Matt a chance but i don’t know.

‘your brothers would want you to be happy y/n/n’ she says rubbing my knee, ‘I know but it's not about me being happy i need to make sure there happy i have to be a mother figure to them they need me’ ‘i get that babes but you need to remember you lost them too your only 20 rasing two kids you need to be a kid too especially since you were forced to grow up so quick’ i look at her and nod I mean I understand where she’s coming from but my brothers are all I know. ‘i love you y/n i'm just looking out for you ima head to bed goodnight love’ ‘night babes’ as she walks off and goes to into the guest room i kinda sit there think about what she said and i mean she's right but i can’t risk something happening to my brothers. I head upstairs and head to bed because i have another day of work but holy fuck thank god it's friday.

* *:･ﾟ✧💒*:･ﾟ✧

I woke up the next morning only because my alarm for work went off and i see it’s 9:44 so i know Alexa is getting my brothers ready for school I get out of the bed and i started to get ready for work. I finished getting ready for work when my younger brother Cody came into the room with tears in his eyes. ‘sis…’ he says in a sad tone I turned around quickly and scooped him into my arms ‘aww what's wrong love?’ i say concerned.

‘i don’t wanna go to school i wanna stay home with you can you please skip work..’ he says in a whiny tone, ‘Aww bub i wish i could help but you know the rules’ When i got custody of cody and alex the court gave me really strict rules to follow, i had to make sure they were always at school, they weren’t falling and that i kept a stable job and make enough money or else they would take them away. ‘I know but i hate being at school kids are mean to me and alex’ i look at him feeling bad but i don’t wanna risk losing them. ‘I’m sorry bub if i could keep you and alex with me 24/7 forever i would’ i say hugging him tightly.

* *:･ﾟ✧💒*:･ﾟ✧

i got to work over an hour ago and to say its boring is an understatement. Just as i think that i hear the bell ring meaning someone walked into the store, i look up ready to greet them and i realize its matt. ‘Matt? Hey’ i say smiling. ‘Hey um i know this might be weird but i um.. Well so my brother chris the one that was with me last time uh i found out that the girl hes been talking to happens to be your best friend right?’ ‘yeah shes my best friend’ ‘well um she kinda encouraged me to come back..’ ‘what do you mean?’ ‘well i uh wanted to see if you were willing to go out with me… you don’t have to its o-‘ he starts to say but i cut him off. ‘Sure why not’ i say smiling i don’t know what happened but he was too sweet for me to say no to.

‘Wait really?’ ‘yea i mean i can’t deny you are pretty cute..’ ‘well thank you’ he laughs damn something about the way he laughs i dont know but it feels almost addicting to listen to. ‘Uh are you free saturday?’ ‘yeah i am’ i smile ‘sweet! Ill text you’ ‘okay bye matt’ ‘bye” he blushed a little bit as he left the shop. Shit who’s gonna watch cody and alex?!

Author’s notes:heyyy I’m back! So I hope you enjoyed the first part of this series and I’m sorry if there was any typos, spelling mistakes, etc I’ll try to fix the ones I can if I miss anything please let me know but I hope you enjoy and have a great day 💋

#matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo smut

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pumpkinbxtch · 1 day

Note

Thanks for doing that Lester x Non Binary Dionysus reader! I really loved it and I'm sorry for being so vague about it I wasn't sure what exactly I wanted. But it made me think, what would happen if Dionysus found out that Apollo and his child were dating? I think it would be fun. Take your time, I love your oneshots <333

oops, father found out ˚ ༘ ⋆

— apollo x child of dionysus!reader

previous part (no need to read it)

Warnings: none!

a/n: hi again! I'm glad you liked the last part and don't worry sometimes it's hard for us to know what we want. Here you go, I hope you like it ❤️ And thank you for your support 🥹🫶🏻 I hope i did well on this one too.

— What? Did you lose your mind, kid?! — You chuckled at the obvious reference to your father's powers. Usually, you'd be scared out of your wits, but with Apollo by your side, things just seemed easier. If that wasn't love, then what was it? — Don't make me punish you!

Apollo sighed. — Brother...

— Exactly, you're my brother! It's your—

— Stop! — You pleaded as you brought your hands to your head. You looked at Dionysus, his nose getting redder when he got angry. — You don't have DNA, father.

He snorted.

— I don't care, this can't happen.

— But it's already happening — your boyfriend defended. To your surprise, Apollo stood up straighter, more convinced, determined not to let you be separated, not after all the eons he spent searching for the love of his life. — And I love them. Be sure of that, brother. My intentions are not to hurt them.

Dionysus gritted his teeth and looked at Pollux, who had his gaze fixed on some point, thinking gods only know what. You, who knew him better than anyone, thought he looked surprised but not angry, because he had already lost a brother. Clearly, he didn't want to lose another sibling... but things were different, different situations, that's what he thought.

The room remained tense for different reasons; you couldn't believe the stupid reason you had been caught. Maybe it would have been better if your father had caught you kissing behind the cabin or holding hands, but you never imagined it would be because of the trace of your perfume on Apollo's clothes.

"I gave it to you!" your father said when he shook your boyfriend's shirt in your face, and you let out nervous giggles.

The question that haunted you was whether your father would take all this seriously and not let them be together because sometimes he could be strict and stubborn.

— You know what it is...

Apollo's voice filled the room of The Big House, and you could see Chiron discreetly pacing to catch up on the gossip. Dionysus raised an eyebrow and leaned over his brother, who, holding his brother's fleeting gaze, never faltered.

— What are you saying, Apollo?

— Falling in love — he replied, and you stopped feeling the situation funny; instead, a warmth spread across your cheeks. Pollux glanced at you sideways, and a small smile formed on his face. Things were getting better and better.

— Don't talk nonsense, Apollo.

— I'm not, brother. You and Ariadne—

— No! — the other exclaimed with a growl, his eyes bubbling with fury.

Apollo sighed again and approached his brother even closer, almost touching noses.

— Don't forget how you felt every time father scolded you.

— It's not the same!

— No, but you know what it's like to love someone so much that you lose the reason for your being, brother. — Apollo stepped back, his eyes shining with confidence. — I won't make them feel less than a deity or part of royalty I'll adore them with my soul until the ether dissipates. You know I've changed, brother, and for them, Me, a god, would die.

Dionysus wanted to intervene; however, Apollo kept speaking, pouring his heart out with every word.

— I would vanish and all humanity with the absence of my light before I even think of disappointing your child.

Pollux slid until his shoulders bumped, and you looked at him amazed. He smiled and hooked his pinky with yours. "I like him, I accept it," he wanted to say.

The place filled with silence, and your father looked away from Apollo for the first time to fix his gaze on you.

— Leave, I need to talk to my brother alone.

And although you would have liked to contradict him, you obeyed because you finally noticed the emotion he was hiding behind the anger in his eyes; there was nothing but fear, and you would have to endure until he let you know because despite how tough he could seem, he was your father. The same one who raised you with love and affection.

Before walking further from the porch, you could see through those curtains a hug, and you sighed. Everything would be fine.

#maría's shared dreams☆｡ﾟ✧#trials of apollo #apollo x you #apollo x reader #apollo pjo #apollo pjo x reader #apollo x y/n #lester papadopoulos x you #lester papadopoulos x reader #lester papadopoulos #pjo hoo toa #pjo #trials of apollo x reader

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turtletaubwrites · 1 day

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✨1,000 Followers Celebration!!✨

I can't describe how much being part of this community has meant to me. The first fic I posted here was in November in the middle of some major health and life crises (which I talk about in my about me post if you'd like to know), and I honestly don't know how I would have gotten through it without all of your support and encouragement, as well as all the laughs and good times that y'all have shared with me.

It blows my mind that there are 1,000 of you here 🤯🤯🤯 I'm so grateful for all the love, it means the world to me! 🖤🙏🏼

Here's what I've got going on:

I wanted to plan something extra special for this milestone, but y'all have been following me faster than I can write! For the 900 milestone I decided to circle back around to Numbers Game since it was the most requested fic, and I'm so happy that the bad men of the Cross Guild seem to be hitting the spot 😅

WIP Updates

I keep my current and upcoming wips + announcements listed on my pinned Masterlist post, and here's what I've got at the moment:

Numbers Game ~ Part 13 will be out later today!

Current WIPS: Numbers Game 14, and We've All Got Needs 28 Upcoming WIPS: Misty Eyes 6, 1 request, Wrong Side of the Bars 2, a few WAGN extra scenes, and 4 requests that came in while they were closed) Announcements: Requests will remain closed until I complete the next batch of Numbers Game, as well as the requests on my list. I'm sorry for the delay, I keep turning them into multi-chaptered fics! If you've submitted a request, know that it is on my list, and I've already started outlining!

New Fic Rec Masterlist

I have been reading some amazing fics lately, please check out my new Fic Rec Masterlist, and show the authors some love!!

Fic & Personal Playlists

I never made playlists for writing until I was tagged in an ask game, and it was so fun! Typically my brain will only let me listen to the same 1-10 songs over and over for a month or more, lol. So in addition to the fic playlists I'm starting, I've made a playlist of my current hyperfixation songs if you'd like to check in on the sounds looping through my head that week 😅 Plus a dump playlist where I'm slowly adding all the past hyperfixation songs I can remember because sometimes I need to pull one back in when there's a void, lol. I love getting song recs too! This reminds me of hooking up my dingy little ipod nano (that I still have, his name is Desmond 🥰) to all of my friend's computers to steal their music since I couldn't afford to buy my own 😅

TurtleTaub Current Hyperfixation Playlist TurtleTaub All the Fixation's Playlist Misty Eyes ~ Law x Reader Playlist Bend Until You Break ~ Playlist More to come, and feel free to send me song recs, they make me so happy 🥰🎶

Next Fic Poll

To celebrate this milestone I'm going to write one of the requests/wips of your choice that I've got on the books next.

#thank you so much!!! 🙏🏼😭#i'll keep on tapping on this keyboard #i'm sending you all love & hugs & cookies & beverages of your choice #y'all have made my year 🖤🖤🖤#turtletaub talks #follower appreciation #followers celebration #fic poll #one piece x reader

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inkskinned · 10 months

Text

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

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