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#i'm rambling again :<< i can't help it there's just so much. i don't know thoughts? emotions? in me n
skunkox · 12 hours
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Can we talk about Lovley for a sec? Particularly melanated Lovely cause I can't stop thinking about them.
Ya'll ever think about how much Lovley misses the sun? They live in California but quite literally can not walk out into the sun.
Those of us who do have a lot of melanin can vastly range between a summer and winter tones as the year goes on. It's just a part of life, and a lot of people down here look forward to their summer tones.
Real quick, it's been thought already that Lovely may have hang ups over their eyes no longer being their original color. Something Vincent has admitted to liking on more than one occasion prior to their turning. (I genuinely don't remember who made the post covering this, but if you see this, lmk so you can be properly credited)
Lovley was turned during winter if I'm remembering correctly. Yeah, sure, there wasn't snow, but the sun wasn't beaming on earth the same. They can no longer take walks or drive with the windows down during the summer. No more beach day episodes. No hot girl summer if you will.
The melanin is no longer poppin.
Something that felt so natural just no longer happens. They don't feel like themselves when they look in the mirror. They can go to the boardwalk at night and see everyone's tan lines and glowing skin, and they haven't changed.
Lovley has been taking everything in stride as far as we know. Their life started changing a little over two years ago. And that's great. Maybe a lot of people like old classmates they'd run into wouldn't notice. But they would. Phycially aging is pretty much out of the question. But that yearly glow is gone. Something they look forward to that was their's is gone.
I do believe either Vincent or Darlin' would help. Even Freelancer if time lines match and they shared a class or two. Bringing them lotions that are gentle on the skin and help give it that pop that they miss so much.
I started rambling again. I was supposed to post something lighthearted today from the drafts, but I just so happened to be home when they popped back into my head. It feels personal, though. And where I dislike for characters to have to go through more than needed, it's a thought that keeps coming back.
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apoloniaspiegelgold · 3 months
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All my life I've been told by all kinds of people that they can never really tell what I'm feeling or what's going through my mind because apparently I'm always just hiding everything behind a smile so that I've become rather unreadable. And then he just. Takes one look at me and goes 'Yeah. I know that face, oh here we go again, she's about to unleash her thoughts. She's gonna bash that theory I just showed her so hard. Where's my popcorn?' I hadn't even said anything yet and he was already laughing.
And to be honest. It's quite nice to be known, actually.
#i only went to his office to ask if he wants to join me for lunch he didn't have time and yet i still somehow ended up staying for 1.5 hours#'thanks for the conversation' he said when i left. 'and thanks for keeping me from my work'#as if HE hadn't kept me from lunch when he kept our conversation going on and on with his 'wait i still wanted to show you this'#talking to him always feels like wellness for my brain somehow. like. we're different people but we think the same way.#i don't have to translate my thoughts to be understood he already gets my point before i've even finished my train of thought#every time work tires me out so much that it feels like i can't think straight anymore then i talk to him and suddenly my brain works again#and i like how he calls me out on my nonsense when i lose myself in a contradiction or don't say what i want to say or say what i don't mea#and he lets me go on extensive rants about statistics despite not knowing anything about it and doesn't even complain#he just always says 'i'll pretend i know what that means' and says i should learn it well so he can ask me for my help with it later#recently he came to me right after teaching saying 'you won't believe how much i just messed up. let me show you how i failed'#and then proceeded to recreate the entire situation and his thought process at that moment and i just#there is a very big word running around in my mind that i dare not speak of but maybe one day#i don't even know if he even sees me as much as a friend maybe i'm just some co-worker he likes talking to occasionally you know#what does it mean what does it all mean#ramblings
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wild-at-mind · 7 months
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If you ever see me becoming one of those transmisandry people, please fucking call me out immediately.
#it shouldn't happen though i am too triggered by MRA-lite material#i can't see that changing any time soon even though i haven't had exposure to the content for like 10 years#the transmisandry discourse on this site melts my brain it's awful it's just online stuff being argued about more online stuff#this is not the same as me saying i will never be treated badly for being transmasc i am not stupid i know that happens#and i am fully committed to fighting the patriachy which has nothing whatsoever to do with my individual manhood or anyone else's#it's a system and yes gender and how we fit into the patriachy is made extremely complicated in trans circles and that's ok!#i promise it is you don't have to design a new system that cis women and trans women are using to do oppression on specifically trans mascs#we're all being fucked over by the patriachy and how the fuck does it help to be divided#but in reality let's face it i can say this all i want but the real reason i'm never going anywhere near being a transmisandry person#is because i was exposing myself to MRA-lite content at a formative age and harming myself in the process#even if i didn't know i was a trans man guess what it would have harmed me just as much if i did have that awareness#and honestly when i see transmisandry discourse all i see is that fucking triggering stuff again#all it does is nitpick whether patriachy is real with tiny examples it doesn't talk systemicly and it doesn't help men in the slightest#it pays lipservice to marginised men but it has no interest in talking about the fact that men are usually simultaenously#oppressed and oppressor at the same time- this is not accusatory it is just factual#it's true of the queer community too and basically every community#but we can't seem to talk about it without just harming each other and blaming and not seeing each other as human#the internet makes it all so much fucking worse this stuff can't exist without it#anyway i'm super rambling but these are genuinely very triggering topics for me i have unfollowed people i LOVE becuase of this#and i still love them! unfollowing on a social media isn't a referendum on that i just can't see that stuff and i need it gone from my dash
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paranorahjones · 23 days
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I KNEW IT AND NOW I'M CRYING
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kyouka-supremacy · 10 months
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Tries to buy something from Ama/zon (tears hair) (vomits blood) (breaks all their bones) (faints to the ground) (starts convulsing) (drops dead)
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welcometogrouchland · 5 months
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Pacing back and forth rapidly rambling to my parents like a mad man trying to figure out whether or not I experienced sexism at film school today or if these guys are just assholes in a different way
#ramblings of a lunatic#like they made a couple comments about how one woman in the department (who's always stressed bc she has a busy job)-#-clearly doesn't ''like guys'' and gave them the wrong equipment to set them up for failure (??? okay???)#and proceeded to organise things so that. none of the other members (who were all girls and here's where i can't tell if it's coincidence)#-had ANYTHING to do on set. like didn't ask them to set up tripods (we all went to thr class where you learn to set up tripods...)#didn't ask them even to hold things or plug things in (they did ask me but only bc i spoke up and volunteered multiple times)#didn't even really talk to us much bc they were off in their own world setting up equipment (that we didn't need btw)#and i can't tell if they were just really focused or being exclusionary!#and i don't think there's a clear answer to any of this. if it did happen it's almost definitely unintentional.#it might've just been bad optics. again unintentional. and i don't know how the other girls felt or if they were bothered#so i can't claim to speak to collective experience#I'm just. I'M JUST PACING WONDERING IF I'M CRAZY#also i told them the one day i was available was today and they showed up and proceeded to have nothing for me (or any of the girls) to do#and now i don't even know what i could do. maybe ask the editor if they want an edit assist bc that's one of the roles#siiighhhh#also feel it's important to mention that one of the guys was on the autism spectrum#so i can't tell how much of it was exclusion bc he thinks he's the only one competent enough to do these tasks (and that coincidentally-#-the only other guy in the group is also the only one competent enough to help him)#or if he was just having a relatable social ineptitude moment where he didn't realise the rest of us felt useless and excluded#and i don't know how much that context effects the end result BC I DON'T KNOW IF THIS WAS REAL OR IF I'M JUST A HASHTAG FEMINAZI SJW LIB#UGH#(use of the word feminazi was ironic parody of the way sexists speak pls pls pls don't think i ever talk like that irl)
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camellia-thea · 7 months
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i made the mistake of opening the jellycat website.
they have a jack russell now. it has one black spot across its back like jazzy.
#tags turned into a ramble-y vent be warned#mistakes were made#i do not have the money nor the emotional capacity for yearning#there are so many that are super cute#like the quinn fox and sigmund seal and all the octopi and they have a new spider plush!!!#i am in so much pain and i have nothing that stops it and i just. want to not be dealing with anything i am right now#i tried lifting my tea earlier and i started to cry because of how painful and exhausting it was.#enough so that i didn't finish it which is an indicator of how i am going#feeling a bit better now -- i am not as fatigued but. still in so much pain and sitting upright is tiring.#but it really really doesn't help the emotional stuff going on#i desperately want jellycat to make a black and white border collie too#so i can have a poppydog again#i miss her so fucking much#she was my good girl and i miss her.#i miss jazzy right now too. i want her here with me and i want her to cuddle me and stick her nose in my teacup#i just. feel bad.#i hate feeling out of control like this and yet i. cannot fucking accept help#and i'm such a hypocrite with it but i just. i can't. i don't know what i need#i want someone to take care of me but i don't know how to ask or be vulnerable. i physically need someone to wrestle me into care#i don't even know what i'm saying.#i have so many things in my head and just. saying them aloud feels scary. even typing this into vague nonspecific existence. i don't know.#i don't know.#i feel out of control and i hate it.#but. i just. need to feel out of control safely i guess?#someone else take it and just.
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noxtivagus · 1 year
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DEATH UNTO DAWN ON SPOTIFY 🥹🫶🏼
#🌙.rambles#[ ffxiv. ]#pls. listen. it has the tea ost n the nier collab n sorrow of werlyt n eden.#it has so many osts dear to me uwahh i've been waiting. so long 😭😭#looking at the album properly now that i'm back home from feeding the cats. help one of them even followed me from the#lower ground lvl to. 2nd floor HFLAKSJFLKSD. those cats. r very dear to me :<#back to ffxiv though. not only w ^^ but there's also hearthward.. ishgard my home. oh my god#n then. danshig naadam iirc? the 'a __ air __' around the start. my fav frontlines map hehe. i miss frontlines honestly#oh my god the scions & sinners stuff too 🥺#spotify wrapped w to the edge at the top fr. OH MY GOD THIS MONTH#W KH FINALLY. YK ON SPOTIFY 😭 riku n dearly beloved those osts mean so much to me hehe n then#FFXIV NOW TOO 🥹#so weird listening to these on spotify. this means i can remove a lot of my mp3s now that i downloaded from yt hdkfajsdkfl#i remember yk? IM GNA CRY SO BADLY I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY ANYMORE#I MISS. EDEN SO BAD IT HURTS. i miss raiding w my friends i miss laughing w them i miss calling n then. clearing. together.#i miss meeting new ppl. n. oh that one silly friend i still rmb those compliments man he made me attached for a bit i can't deny that but#IT'S JUST. FOND FOR ME TO LOOK BACK ON NOW.#n then. with this is just. endless small reminders of what i love in life so much. yk these memories these people these emotions n thoughts#all these stories. fuck. i feel like. a kid again n it's. smth i've missed lately. it soothes me so much n comforts my heart n soul n mind#sweet serenity oh how i missed you. yk that. that certain peace even though the world around me may be. yeah#even if the apocalypse wld come to test us all or smth i know that. the love i just have for. life wld. yk always return.#i'll always keep it close no matter how much it'll fucking hurt.#i love ffxiv so much i really do it just. yeah for the past few years has become one of my homes fr. always gives me comfort#always makes me remember myself again yk? hdflasdjflkd.. i miss emet-selch can you tell one reason why he's. rlly special to me#like bro he's. i mean. i find him. oh god how to put this i find him attractive fuck it but uh. his uhm. form as solus is.. he's#ffxiv shb grandpa simulator jokes for a reason 💀 but my bro i loved you ever since i knew you EMET-SELCH HE'S JUST. SO#SO ANNOYING. FUCK. PROMISES TO KEEP RN JUST MAKES ME EMOTIONAL ALL THE TIME. THE ORCHESTRA MAN#i want to write so much but. my mind is such a mess rn. but it. i feel better. i remember again. it. hdlfajsfkdjf :^) 😭#i. have sm to write. but i just wna cry i'm overwhelmed again but it's bcs i love. ffxiv sm 😭😭 imy n ilysm not just ffxiv but. everything
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tearlessrain · 1 month
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please help me- i used to be pretty smart but i’m having so much trouble grasping the concept of diegetic vs non-diegetic bdsm!
gfkjldghfd okay first of all I'm sorry for the confusion, if you're not finding anything on the phrase it's because I made it up and absolutely nobody but me ever uses it, but I haven't found a better way to express what I'm trying to say so I keep using it. but now you've given me an excuse to ramble on about some shit that is only relevant to me and my deeply inefficient way of talking and by god I'm going to take it.
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SO. the way diegetic and non-diegetic are normally used is to talk about music and sound design in movies/tv shows. in case you aren't familiar with that concept, here's a rundown:
diegetic sound is sound that happens within the world of the movie/show and can be acknowledged by the characters, like a song playing on the stereo during a driving scene, or sung on stage in Phantom of the Opera. it's also most other sounds that happen in a movie, like the sounds of traffic in a city scene, or a thunderclap, or a marching band passing by. or one of the three stock horse sounds they use in every movie with a horse in it even though horses don't really vocalize much in real life, but that's beside the point, the horse is supposed to be actually making that noise within the movie's world and the characters can hear it whinnying.
non-diegetic sound is any sound that doesn't exist in the world of the movie/show and can't be perceived by the characters. this includes things like laugh tracks and most soundtrack music. when Duel of Fates plays in Star Wars during the lightsaber fight for dramatic effect, that's non-diegetic. it exists to the audience, but the characters don't know their fight is being backed by sick ass music and, sadly, can't hear it.
the lines can get blurry between the two, you've probably seen the film trope where the clearly non-diegetic music in the title sequence fades out to the same music, now diegetic and playing from the character's car stereo. and then there are things like Phantom of the Opera as mentioned above, where the soundtrack is also part of the plot, but Phantom of the Opera does also have segments of non-diegetic music: the Phantom probably does not have an entire orchestra and some guy with an electric guitar hiding down in his sewer just waiting for someone to break into song, but both of those show up in the songs they sing down there.
now, on to how I apply this to bdsm in fiction.
if I'm referring to diegetic bdsm what I mean is that the bdsm is acknowledged for what it is in-world. the characters themselves are roleplaying whatever scenarios their scenes involve and are operating with knowledge of real life rules/safety practices. if there's cnc depicted, it will be apparent at some point, usually right away, that both characters actually are fully consenting and it's all just a planned scene, and you'll often see on-screen negotiation and aftercare, and elements of the story may involve the kink community wherever the characters are. Love and Leashes is a great example of this, 50 Shades and Bonding are terrible examples of this, but they all feature characters that know they're doing bdsm and are intentional about it.
if I'm talking about non-diegetic bdsm, I'm referring to a story that portrays certain kinks without the direct acknowledgement that the characters are doing bdsm. this would be something like Captive Prince, or Phantom of the Opera again, or the vast majority of bodice ripper type stories where an innocent woman is kidnapped by a pirate king or something and totally doesn't want to be ravished but then it turns out he's so cool and sexy and good at ravishing that she decides she's into it and becomes his pirate consort or whatever it is that happens at the end of those books. the characters don't know they're playing out a cnc or D/s fantasy, and in-universe it's often straight up noncon or dubcon rather than cnc at all. the thing about entirely non-diegetic bdsm is that it's almost always Problematic™ in some way if you're not willing to meet the story where it's at, but as long as you're not judging it by the standards of diegetic bdsm, it's just providing the reader the same thing that a partner in a scene would: the illusion of whatever risk or taboo floats your boat, sometimes to extremes that can't be replicated in real life due to safety, practicality, physics, the law, vampires not being real, etc. it's consensual by default because it's already pretend; the characters are vehicles for the story and not actually people who can be hurt, and the reader chose to pick up the book and is aware that nothing in it is real, so it's all good.
this difference is where people tend to get hung up in the discourse, from what I've observed. which is why I started using this phrasing, because I think it's very crucial to be able to differentiate which one you're talking about if you try to have a conversation with someone about the portrayal of bdsm in media. it would also, frankly, be useful for tagging, because sometimes when you're in the mood for non-diegetic bodice ripper shit you'd call the police over in real life, it can get really annoying to read paragraphs of negotiation and check-ins that break the illusion of the scene and so on, and the opposite can be jarring too.
it's very possible to blur these together the same way Phantom of the Opera blurs its diegetic and non-diegetic music as well. this leaves you even more open to being misunderstood by people reading in bad faith, but it can also be really fun to play with. @not-poignant writes fantastic fanfic, novels, and original serials on ao3 that pull this off really well, if you're okay with some dark shit in your fiction I would highly recommend their work. some of it does get really fucking dark in places though, just like. be advised. read the tags and all that.
but yeah, spontaneous writer plug aside, that's what I mean.
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polarisjisung · 6 months
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SILENT TREATMENT
synopsis: your boyfriend broke some guy's nose for you, but what he doesn't realise is he also broke his promise to you
wc: 0.9k
pairings: bf!jeno x fem!reader
genre: fluff
warnings: mention of blood like once (feel the need to mention I don't want to romanticise violence 💀)
notes: jeno lee is driving me insane.
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Jeno doesn't like it, the silence. He liked to hear you ramble about nonsensical things, the sound of your awkward chatter filling the room, not the incessant pattering of rain against the roof above.
That's the first sign, he figures
On most days, you'd warn him before pressing an alcohol soaked cotton swab against his wounds, delicately pressing down on his jaw with a worried stare. Today you grip his chin firmly, tilting his head upwards and swiping over the cut less gently than before.
That's the second.
The air is cold coming in through the open bathroom window, the dim lighting not sufficient for him to make out your features, when you step a little further away, but still just enough for him to notice the way your nostrils flare and you bite at your lip when reaching for the antiseptic gel kept in the cupboard to your right.
Three of three, he thinks, and jeno comes to the only valid conclusion there is.
Your usually talkative, enthusiastic, and bubbly self now so cold and stand offish, it only meant one thing, something you could argue the lee found entertaining judging by the innocent smile on his lips.
"Are you angry at me?"
A glare is the only response jeno gets.
Not angry enough to leave him to tend to his own wounds, he figures, so really just how angry could you be?
"ow, it hurts" he whines cautiously, taking ahold of your hand as it passes over the deep red, bloody incision in his bicep— which by the way, was doing nothing to help you maintain your rage.
your eyes, however, don't widen, and your lips don't move forward into a pout, you don't react.
nothing except pulling your hand back.
maybe you were a little angrier than he thought.
"silent treatment huh?" he seems amused, a short chuckles escaping his busted lip as you  disinfect the wound, the laugh echoing through the room.
You couldn't stay mad at him, not for long at least, jeno knew that much, so despite watching you walk away to replace the first aid kit just where you found it, ready to use the next time jeno got himself like this, he knows he hasn't got a thing to worry about
Equally, you know jeno just as well, and you know that walking anywhere in his reach would end in you wrapped up in his arms, being showered with soft sweet apologetic kisses like always
Only you both realise your phone is left forgotten on the counter beside him, and if bothering your boyfriend after a long day wasnt on your list of things to do, scrolling for unnecessarily long hours through twitter certianly was.
In hopes to outsmart him you try and lunge to grab the device, only to find yourself in the very position you imagined, lee jeno's strong arms wrapped around your waist, sweet brown eyes staring back.
"can't run now can you baby?"
You scoff, only managing to turn your face away from his— getting uncaged from his arms was far beyond you.
Jeno let's his head fall into the crook of your neck, your floral perfume overtaking the medicinal smell in the air as he pecks the corner of your lips, slowly tracing your jawline with soft kisses until you finally turn to face him again.
"I'm sorry" he whispers, calloused, bruised hands holding your chin with utmost tenderness. The rough skin of his thumb traces over your lower lip, a soft kiss placed there once again.
"you said you wouldn't"
jeno pauses, confused.
"you promised you would stop"
the desperate tone in your voice is clear as day, and it doesn't take jeno much longer to realise, this wasn't about what he'd done, it was about what he'd said he wouldn't do
the cracks in your shaky voice are enough for the bitter taste of guilt to bubble in his stomach and rise to the tip of his tongue, your glossy eyes staring back, disappointed
"I'm sorry" he sighs, eyebrows furrowing as he stares down at you, "I'm so so sorry my sweet girl."
The hair messily sprawled across your forehead is pushed to the side by his index finger, an apologetic kiss pressed to your temple. Jeno's hand is placed at the crown of your head, soothingly passing his fingers through your hair when you're pulled forwards into his chest, resting your arms at his side as you let your weight fall onto him.
"Please, don't get hurt because of me" your hands reach for his, and jeno realises you're asking him once again, to promise he wouldn't do it—this time he doesn't know if he can.
"I can't stand it." his tone differs from the sweet one he uses with you, or the mocking one he'd taken on earlier, now he spits harsh words at the floor, eyes rolling instinctively. "those scumbags talking about my pretty girl like that."
you notice the way his fist tightens, the plasters you'd just placed over his knuckles slipping off his skin in seconds.
"if you can fight them for me" with a cold hand against his cheek, you reach up to guide his eyes back to meet yours, "can't you, not, fight them for me too?"
he smiles— you giggle, the very man who'd just taken on another 2 guys almost twice his size just a few minutes ago now looked at you with a wide grin and two crescent moons in place of his eyes.
"I'll try" and suddenly you wear a smile just as wide as his "I'd do anything for you"
You don't doubt it.
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alwaysshallow · 6 months
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― blood on my shirt, rose in my hand
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SUMMARY: Simon Riley knows you have bad experiences with dating, but he also knows you don't really need no one but him. He's gonna provide you anything. So you can imagine how he could change, when for the first time, you think you've found the one man who's right for you. To your surprise, weird events happen during the time you date Nick. Thankfully, Simon's there to help you. (11,4k)
READ ON AO3
A/N: this is SUCH a long piece, so some of it is here, but the full version is on AO3. i hope you're gonna forgive me for this one </3
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"It's not like I'm ugly, right? I thought about it. If I'm ugly, so that's why it doesn't work out." you sip your favorite wine, looking right at your best friend, who has been listening for the past hour your ramblings about dating.
"You're fuckin' stupid, but not ugly, pet."
He's the best friend in the world – you can say this, meaning it with your whole heart. In fact, he's the best friend everyone probably wished to have, at least in your mind. Not only here for you, but loyal, you can tell him basically anything. He wouldn't say a thing, even if someone was nagging, and he was mostly a good adviser; all the qualities you looked for in a best friend, right?
And he was brutally honest, like right now, but you don't mind it. Simon Riley had this thing, and even if sometimes you were almost offended at his bluntness (like this one time, when he told you you're a crying mess and you act… worse than a toddler), you mostly appreciated it. Your other friends couldn't compare to his honesty, this man was not the one to lick your ass.
Or, so you thought.
"Excuse me?" you raise your eyebrow, laughing, while shaking your head. "You should, I don't know, tell me I'm amazing and they don't deserve me. Or so." you joke; it causes him to roll his eyes.
"That's what I told you. Different words, but the same thingy."
"Right."
It sometimes sucks for you that Simon isn't a girl. He has this unbelieveably annoying guy thing, where he just can't be delusional with you, and he can't just mourn over some hot guy. His way of thinking is… on the other level, he totally skips the mourn part, the part that is pathetic; he's just saying things like "move on" and "there's a lot of them anyway". Again, you love it, but you really wish you could cry about guy being so pretty that it hurts, without him rolling his eyes.
Yet, when you're more in mad mood than mourning one, his attiude is just perfect. He's the one to encourage you to scream, he even brought you a few times to rage room when you needed to smash a few things, not to mention the attiude he was setting you in. Powerful, not giving a shit about a "piece of a man that doesn't deserve you".
Simon sighs. "You're worryin' too much. Really that desperate?"
You huff, as you sink more into the plushy couch in your apartment. "I'm not desperate. It's just…" you take a few seconds to think "being love starved."
"Sex starved, you mean."
"Love starved." you send him a look.
"Mhm. You fancy plushies, hugs, and all shite like this?"
"You're so fucking British, it hurts" you laugh. "Yeah. Yeah, I want something like this. Someone to hold me, someone that cares about me and I know it. Sex comes in package, of course, but it's just… ugh, I want a man" you groaned.
You feel as pathetic as ever, when Simon doesn't respond – because how exactly should he? He wasn't vocal about things like this, he usually just nod his head, and there it was, another topic. A miracle it was that he was already listening to your date rambling, not cutting it off because he was uncomfortable or something.
Dreams about your love life… more girly conversation.
Mostly – you know guys who loved talking about it, obviously, and you adore it pretty much, especially when you can know their perspective on some things, but… Riley wasn't really one of them. He had "simple hookups" as he said one day, when you asked him about doing double-dates. It wasn't even an option, he just liked to ocassionally fuck and that's all.
So you stopped trying a few months ago for a double-date. Instead, you focused more on finding a man that would meet your expectations at least in the middle, and that was exhausting, to be honest. Tinder dates were just a disaster after disaster – if it wasn't some catfish, a guy that wanted to marry you and have kids after two weeks of writing, it was most definitely a guy with a desire to bang you quickly.
Romance was dead these days, you noticed. That wouldn't keep you away from trying to find someone, though. Patience was a key in things like these.
"Maybe you will set me up with one your friends? It wouldn't suck. You know them." you think out loud.
"Definitely too much wine f'you." Simon takes your glass, and pours all of the liquid to his mouth, swallowing it like it was some kind of juice, not alcohol. "You don't want a guy from military in your life. Trust me."
There's some sternness to his tone, at which you raise your eyebrow. It was just a funny comment from your side, nothing else – you know by the heart that this man doesn't like the idea of connecting his two worlds. "I know, Simon. Just joking, right?"
You place a hand on his. It's a comedic, yet, heartwarming view, when you see the size difference.
"And, you're pretty cool for a military guy."
He huffs. It seems like pretty cool offends him, but he doesn't say it out loud, so it can be only your imagination working. "You met me before I enlisted. 's different."
"How different?"
"You knew me before military."
He doesn't give you another answer that night, nor the continuation of this one – he brushes you off, like you are some kind of bug that is disturbing him, and brings up another topic, about his deployment. He asks if you can watch his apartment when he's gone, take care of it; it's stupid, Simon knows that you will always agree, but it's the need of asking you anyway.
And, he likes coming home, where he can smell your perfume, where he can see that you made some changes. You tend to do that a lot, mostly buying stuff to his apartment. "It looks worse than room in the hospital" you always say, when he cocks his eyebrow with amusement. He doesn't say that, but he finds it really adorable that you care so much, to make his space… cozier, even if he's not really attached to it. Mostly, it's for your comfort when you come to visit him, and that happens a lot; not like he minds it. Anyone else would be banned from his apartment, but you? Oh God, you wouldn't be, not in the milion years.
You could probably be the worst ever to him; call him names, punch, anything, and he would still be your Simon. It's what he was used to, to being by your side, no matter what time, no matter if you were in the good mood or not; your presence was everything to him.
Not like he'd ever confess that, but it is what you know, silently.
Yet, you are so good to him. Always sending him letters or texting him when he is on deployment. A couple of times, you sent him little things too, if he forgot something, photos included too, but new ones; mostly you captured views, but you were here once or twice. His happiness may not be that visible to outsiders, but his heart is full every time.
"My girl", he'd tell boys when they saw a polaroid of you, swiftly tucking it into his vest because no one was allowed to see it more than three seconds.
Often, Gaz joked if you are actually his girl even if you're not dating, but it sounded so bizzare to Ghost. How would you not be his? Thirteen years of friendship counted as something beyond being only his best friend, no? At least in his mind it was like this. He was used to you dating briefly other guys, but it lasted maybe a few months top. Nothing serious, probably his hookups were more meaningful than your relationships.
So you can easily imagine his confusion, when your mutual friends tell him big news about your new object of interest; someone that he doesn't even know yet, but he's not really his fan on the beggining.
It was just a month of being away.
His eyes are on you now; you are embarrassed, looking anywhere but at him. You don't even speak, you just wave your hand in dismissive manner, trying to change the topic because you don't really want to talk about it. Not in the presence of your best friend, at least.
It works for everyone but Simon, and you know it by the way he looks at you, processing what he just heard. Changing a topic, sudden talkativeness from your side is like buying time in that, time precious to think what to say to your best friend later on.
Because you know for the fact that he'll ask. He always does, and now he has a reason.
You have your reasons why you haven't told him. "It's nothing serious. That's why I didn't tell you." your voice is a little more silent than usual, but he can hear it anyway. You two are taking a walk to your apartment with no one around; and it's awkward one.
Simon seems like he doesn't want to say anything about your poor choice of men. It worries you; he always wanted somehow to make fun of you or make comment. Now, it's just a nod, like he gets it, but you know it's not it. He doesn't get it.
But you don't know what it is.
"C'mon!" you nudge him, and when it doesn't seem to affect him, you stand right in front of him. A little wobbly because of alcohol, your vision isn't so great too, but it makes him stop in his tracks. "Say something."
"Somethin'" he grumbles, and you can't help but roll your eyes. "What? Told me-"
"-I know what I told you!" you cup his face in your hands. Your head is a bit hazy, but the intensions are clear; making him talk and soft. It always works, so you have a lot of hope. "He's a good guy, but I want to meet him a bit closer to be… certain about him, you know? You've heard me whining about boys a bit too much."
"You can tell me everything." he muses, and you can't help but smile at that. Of course – of course you can tell him everything. You never doubted it for a second, and you think of yourself as stupid, doubting that he wouldn't want to hear about it. "Ill be the judge of that, though. Good guy thing."
"I can't be trusted?" you tease, and when he lets out a low chuckle, you grin even more. It's like a reward after him being his grumpy self.
"No." he shakes his head. "You don't know what is good for you. But that's why I'm here."
Under the influence of alcohol, you didn't pay too much of attention to his words; probably you wouldn't pay attention to it even if he'd say this when you are sober. Simon as your protector – it's so natural, you don't even need to think about it as something weird. It's just the way things are for thirteen years, everyone knows this.
Your friends, who were a bit reluctant on the beggining, but two parties later, when he joined the competition of drinking on time and wasn't drunk at all, he won over their hearts.
It was tougher with your parents, when you were in highschool. A little distanced at first, they constantly asked where were his parents (which, you told them, was rude asking, especially to his face), telling you how much of a bad news he could be for you. Suggestion of him ruining your future was the worst, you never thought of him this way; that discussion caused you to give them the silent treatment for a few days.
Apparently after that, suggesting that Simon is around you too much, clinging to your side and giving you "weird glances", they stopped the narrative, admitting that the boy might be damaged, but not broken. You still felt like they're judging their every move, but seeing that he had pretty good life plan, seeing that he thought about military and went here actually? Hell, they completely stopped being suspicious in any means.
Riley just had this thing of charming people, even if they didn't like him in the beggining. He had everything under his finger, trying to keep things under control – it was like that… pretty much since the beggining of his life. You met him when he was an adult, but he always liked to keep things under control; people, things that he cared about. What belonged to him was sacred, untouchable for anyone else.
The possessiveness started in his early childhood with toys, when he absolutely despised everyone who just wanted to touch his things, to lay their dirty, filthy fingers here. In early classes, it was considered just rude.
When he was older though, he started fighting for various things. Knowing he has the advantage, he used his legs, fists, when he had to, and no one was looking, besides the actual victim. He wasn't stupid; he knew how troublesome the public can be, he also knew the power of manipulation a bit too well to get caught so easily. Wasn't the plan, getting caught; it once happened, but because he wanted to; he even broke his own nose, making it like the other guy did it, just to get what he needed. The reputation of kid who was broken in the childhood, so he's just not opening on others was… suitable, for him. No one could suspect anything, especially when the kid just happened to be "attacked" by one of the popular ones, right?
The idea of power was something that Simon truly desired from the beggining; maybe it has something to do with the lack of his parents in his life, being transferred from one foster family to another. Maybe it's just him being a little fucked up – who knows.
What mattered, was the fact he had you. You, so sweet, so considerate to be by his side, to be protected by him, to be the person who "opened" because of her. Little did you know, he opened just because he wanted to be closer to you, not those fuckers you hang out with.
If you knew his past, you would have another reasons in mind, why he showed up to meet your potential new boyfriend. Jealousy, posessiveness, power complex, him being a control freak who can't give you to anyone he personally doesn't trust – if ever, considering you were his precious best friend. He isn't willing to share.
You aren't really aware of him being this crazy. You think of his flaws, and you see someone that has been damaged, someone that you can and will help, if he just asks for it – or if you'll see he needs it. So, naturally, you help, and grin the widest you can, when you see him in the door. He shows completely unexpected. It doesn't take you long to wrap your hands around his neck, tight, as you hug him.
Happy as always because you can see your friend, happy as ever because moments like these means a lot to you. When he's deployed, you can't even see him, so you're taking all in when he's right in front of you.
"Hope 'm not interruptin'." he murmurs into your hair, as his head is practically buried in them; he has to bend down a little to be at your level, but it's something he enjoys. The power.
"Never." you say immediately, not even hesitating in your statement. "Actually, you found a pretty good moment."
"That I did, eh?" his eyebrow arches, as he straightens up.
"As always. Nick's here, you have to meet him."
|READ THE REST ON AO3|
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astonmartinii · 7 months
Note
i hope your finger’s ok!! please take all the time you need and remember you health comes first :) imma be selfish and send you a charles request cause ur writing makes me smile at my phone like an idiot and i can’t help it :p ok so!! charles x versteppen reader? shes max’s sister and drives for redbull (cause im delulu like that) and they’ve been fighting w each other since they were kids (no one knows why they started arguing they’re j petty and refuse to give it up even though they dk what they’re arguing abt anymore) and obvs they’re in love w each other - maybe another drivers flirting w her or smth and charles j snaps and hard launches the reader cause surprise they’ve been dating each other 🤭 holy shit this is long sorry for rambling 🙏🙏
angel baby, devil child | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x verstappen!reader
enemies to lovers blah blah blah
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and 1,743,200 others
yourusername: crazy, crazy race. sorry not sorry to the tifosi, tell ur girl @charles_leclerc to kiss my ass not my rear tyre xoxo
view all comments
user1: okay they're clearly still in the enemies phase... when can we skip to lovers
user2: i personally love that charles is the mortal enemy of both verstappen siblings that's so slay of him
maxverstappen1: crop me out again and say goodbye to a tow in qualifying
yourusername: sorry maxy, not my fault i got all the photogenic genes xx
maxverstappen1: erm rude @christianhorner tell her to stop bullying me
yourusername: two can play at that game @sebastianvettel tell max to stop being a baby
user3: the way neither christian or seb replied they really don't get paid enough to deal with them
charles_leclerc: what is it with verstappens and their love for pushing me off the track
yourusername: what is it with your front wing and my rear tyre
charles_leclerc: umm i asked you first
yourusername: stop deflecting babe, we all know you love my ass so much you wanted a touch
charles_leclerc: i'd rather deep fry my hands than touch your rear
maxverstappen1: that can be arranged
user4: can't wait for these three to all be in the same press conference next week 🍿
carlossainz55: my favourite person to share the podium with
yourusername: thanks chilli (@tifosi you heard it here sainz is against ferrari 1-2s)
carlossainz55: NO that's not what i meant
landonorris: i see how it is ... god all men are the same AM I NOT PRETTY ENOUGH FOR YOU?
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maxverstappen1
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liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 1,204,809 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: happy birthday to my bestest friend, biggest rival and favourite roommate. though maybe now you're 23 you can get your own place so you can sneak out to meet up with your secret boyfriend on your own terms and can keep that massive ballsack away from jimmy and sassy. i love you and verstappen dominance 4 ever.
view all comments
user7: i love y/n but i think she should bring her cat to races as a scare tactic
yourusername: wrinkle doesn't appreciate your tone but it is duly noted
yourusername: awwwwwwwww i love you maxy !! and you're never getting rid of your little sister unless you get married and ur a big fat nerd so that's never happening xx
maxverstappen1: attacking me after i just bought you a whole ass car
yourusername: i JOKE. thank you soooo much and you'll never get rid of me you love me too much to anyway.
maxverstappen1: enough to finally introduce me to the mystery man?
yourusername: blocked.
user8: are we all just ignoring her doing her literal eyeliner with a knife?
user9: or the fact that max likely walked in and was like oh wait this is a sick shot
danielricciardo: oh no that was me, i'm still traumatised but it's probably the best photo i've ever taken
yourusername: easy to do with a model like me
charles_leclerc: wtf is that thing in the last one
yourusername: rude of you to think ur balls look any nicer
charles_leclerc: what?
yourusername: what?
user10: does anyone want to elaborate?
carlossainz55: happy birthday y/n !
yourusername: thanks carlos, thank you for the flowers 👍
user11: this is either their way of flirting or y/n really couldn't give a flying fuck about carlos' obvious crush on her
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yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 2,098,560 others
yourusername: another trip around the sun and still following my brother around, difference is now i beat him x
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user16: your honour i am so obsessed with her
maxverstappen1: can't even be angry about it, you deserve the world
yourusername: you softy, i love you
maxverstappen1: also dummy i know who your boyfriend is now did you guys forget that we LITERALLY LIVE TOGETHER
yourusername: i was intoxicated my bad but we bought you breakfast?
maxverstappen1: literally the only reason he hasn't gone over the balcony, he might want to be gone before this hangover wears off
yourusername: noted.
user17: yall want to share with the class?
user18: based on ^^ this reaction i'm going to say it's not carlos
user19: watch out he'll drop a shit pick-up line in a second and be rejected
carlossainz55: hope you enjoyed your birthday beautiful
user20: bro this guy STINKS
user19: i told yall
yourusername: thank you carlos
user21: i'm sorry this is dry as hell it can't be carlos
charles_leclerc: my shoes will never recover, i'll be sending an invoice your way
yourusername: you're a millionaire boo, you can replace those tacky white trainers yourself
charles_leclerc: is having no manners a verstappen trait?
yourusername: come for max all you want, but the birthday girl? low leclerc
charles_leclerc: when you go low i go lower
yourusername: oh believe me i know all about you and going down
user22: DO YALL MIND?
user23: do they think we're dumb?
charles_leclerc
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liked by pierregasly, lancestroll and 1,204,674 others
charles_leclerc: a weekend without racing?
view all comments
user24: what is biden doing about the soft launch pandemic?
user25: well this is oddly timed ...
yourusername: you look like you'd have sweaty hands
charles_leclerc: wouldn't you like to know
yourusername: unlike all ur fangirls i've actually smelt you sweaty after a race so you can keep your hands to yourself
maxverstappen1: you heard her 🤨
charles_leclerc: why are you here? is this a 2 for 1 deal on annoying dutch people
yourusername: you can call him annoying all you want, but you love me don't lie
charles_leclerc: my lawyer says i shouldn't comment on that ;)
sebastianvettel: when will you two stop?
yourusername: sorry seb :(
charles_leclerc: sorry seb :(
user26: i know carlos is sick reading this weird flirting when y/n never comments on his pics
user27: she comes here just to flirt cause she didn't even like the photo
user28: she doesn't even follow him 😭
pierregasly: i love a slow burn as much as the next person BUT NOT WHEN I DON'T KNOW WHO IT IS PICK UP THE PHONE
charles_leclerc: you're so dramatic, nobody knows calmar
maxverstappen1: he's lying i do
pierregasly: WHAT
charles_leclerc: by ACCIDENT i didn't tell him by choice
user29: so like, it's definitely y/n LOL
user30: oh no everyone get ready marca is going to run a story tomorrow about how charles leclerc is ruining carlos' career with psychological warfare by flirting with the girl he likes
user31: sainz sr about to wage war lol
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charles_leclerc
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liked by pierregasly, yourusername and 2,304,889 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: i don't share. i love you. please follow me on instagram now (and let me come on max's jet) x
view all comments
user35: HOLY FUCK
user36: they're so fucking sexy my lord
yourusername: you're so weak, one teammate flirts with me and you hard launch, i've had 12 year olds use me as a face claim to pretend they're pregnant with your child
charles_leclerc: they took your face? i happen to quite like it, can they give it back?
yourusername: quite?
charles_leclerc: don't make me look bad you know i positively LOVE YOUR FACE
yourusername: and my ass since it's all you look at on track
charles_leclerc: okay you can drop the act now people know we're in love stop being mean to me :(
yourusername: but it's true, no?
charles_leclerc: rest assured i love your actual ass much more
maxverstappen1: believe me the people she lives with know WAY too much about how much you love it
user37: carlos sainz really thought he had a chance when these fools have been together for TWO years
sebastianvettel: congratulations you two, glad we don't have to watch you two trying to be subtle now
maxverstappen1: so wait when did you find out?
sebastianvettel: about two weeks into the relationship, they were very obvious
yourusername: thank you for keeping our secret dad <3
user38: y/n really said you ARE my grid dad
yourusername: oh no that's my actual dad
charles_leclerc: he's literally going to walk y/n down the aisle
maxverstappen1: please don't tell me you're engaged? i only just got over you actually being together
charles_leclerc: i'm not your brother yet don't worry (i will be soon)
carlossainz55: congrats guys
user39: it's okay bro you can cry
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 2,301,541 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: two years with the love of my life, still on max's side on val d'argenton x
view all comments
user40: they're disgusting (when will it happen to me)
charles_leclerc: we'll have to agree to disagree
yourusername: just admit it you love to push verstappens off the track
charles_leclerc: sorry babe as much as i love you, i'll never let you win x
yourusername: good thing i always beat you then x
charles_leclerc: either way victory sex still bangs
user41: yes, yes they're cute, but i need a full on play-by-play of how this relationship came to be
user42: i know these menaces were giggling and kicking their feet every time they had an argument in comment sections
yourusername: oh it was very fun
charles_leclerc: but the radio messaged are 100% real lol
maxverstappen1: thanks for having my back, you're welcome for all the gross pictures i've taken for you guys
yourusername: consider your payment like every meal i make us
maxverstappen1: well if i did it f1 would be down three drivers
user43: wait so does charles basically live with them now?
maxverstappen1: unfortunately yes. depressing music, even worse cooking than me and horrendously loud sex with my sister. i should kick him out
charles_leclerc: i literally bought you noise-cancelling headphones?
maxverstappen1: nothing you can say will save me from this trauma
yourusername: just shag daniel and get off of our case x
note: ahhhhh i am so sorry this request took so long, my inbox keeps moving stuff around lol. my finger is good thanks for asking, the human body is a wonder and i peeled off the last of my scab this week lol. i hope this was the kinda thing you were looking for !! xx
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muchlovekatia · 18 days
Text
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✧ ˚ · . 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐒 —
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⋆·˚ ༘ * 🔹
theo nott x reader
synopsis :
theo can't help but kiss you sometimes.
warnings!:
literally just fluff
〰️
once theo kisses you, he can't stop. you're just so intoxicating to him, so perfect. it's like a drug he can't get enough of, a dream he doesn't want to wake up from. it's your face, and the way your lips slide on his, and the feeling of leaning in and pulling away, and holding you in his arms.
you weren't much for talking. when it was necessary, sure, sometimes when you were happy, or angry, or had any other strong feelings that called for words. it was theo who brought out the talker in you. because, for whatever reason, one that was unbeknownst to you, you loved to talk to him.
it was like years of bottled words you never cared to share before came pouring off your tongue the moment a favored topic came to mind, as if they'd been banging at the walls of your throat, begging to be let out, and you'd just never known you had needed to say them. in those moments, a feeling of eagerness caught your heart, like you couldn't pronounce the syllables at the same rate your mind thought them, and all you wanted to do was show your boyfriend exactly everything that you were saying as you said it.
he had struck that chord in you just now. "i've never heard of it," was what got you speaking—and quite quickly—of train rides and a german girl and death. the book thief.
yes, these were your favorite times. saying but not fast enough, showing but not strongly enough. it was late into the night, and you were laying before him on your bed, his hands running through your hair and his mouth quirked into the beginnings and teasings of a smile. you didn't know it, but these were his favorite moments too. when you got so immensely excited, that it was evident in your every movement, your skin glowing, your blood prickling. hayden couldn't help but pull you closer, feel tempted to kiss you right then and there.
instead, he laid quietly across from you, relishing the twinkle in your eyes and the faint energy thrumming off of you, feeding the temptation more and more. "i don't know. she was kinda just mean the whole book, y'know, with the yelling and things," you were rambling, "but it was obvious you were supposed to like her at some point. especially when michael died and all." his finger traced the line of your collarbone, and he was stupidly, absently nodding along. "but i never really liked her anyways. i felt bad for her of course, but— wait— that's not the point. i was trying to say—" theo couldn't take it any longer.
his eyes flicked to your lips, and without warning, he dipped his head and kissed you. you were caught off guard, your hands, which had been toying with the hem of his shirt, traveling to his chest and balling into fists. it was sweet and short, but it ceased your spiel enough to keep you quiet even when he pulled away, his face littered with adoration. you barely even got the workings of a huffed laugh in before he was leaning in again. "theo—" this time, his kisses trailed to your cheek, your jaw, and then your neck. "stop that— i'm trying to—" a giggle, "—explain."
"i'm listening," he uttered against your skin in return, pulling back and staring intently into your eyes. his gaze fell to your lips, which he pecked again. broad hands traveled to the crooks of either side of your neck and held you gingerly, pushing your head back to meet his caresses.
"theo.." you sighed, a smile playing on your mouth, but despite your protestations, you were melting into his touch, your eyes falling closed. you felt a thumb brush your lips, then smear the swipe of chapstick you had applied prior to laying down with him.
"can't help it," you heard him whisper, pecking you one more time. "okay, done. go on."
5 minutes after starting your rambling up once more, he was kissing you again. you didn't fight after that.
.
for a while, i'll just be posting remakes of my work on my other blog, just to get this one started.
487 notes · View notes
sugoi-writes · 19 days
Text
I feel like Alastor would never walk in while you're indecent/in disarray physically... he knows how to knock, afterall... BUT--
I can see Alastor playing things off well enough. He's a gentleman, so he avoids eye contact. You feel his coat drapping over your shoulders as he rambles about something.
An incoming meeting, the next group activity, or simply what he had for breakfast that day. Mundane things that can absolutely wait... but he's such a Chatty Cathy! If Rosie isn't around or too busy, then you simply MUST hear him out about his struggles. Your clothing be damned, it's simply TOO important.
Much like with Charlie, he sits or lays directly across your bed, like a tween girl at a sleep over, his feet kicking in the air. He's relaxed. His eyes are half lidded. Your room may as well be his second bedroom. He doesn't mind making himself at home even while you're frantically trying to cover yourself or throwing things his way.
A classic case of "Hello dear, I was meaning to ask you about-- yes, I'm aware that you're undressed, why are you screaming? *covers you in his jacket* AHEM. Anyway--"
---
However, if you're closer than friends...
Alastor lets himself in, unprompted. Usually via shadow. Unlike before, eye contact is intentionally made, lest you get the idea his eyes are wondering. And if you relax enough, you may actually catch them doing so. He'd help himself to your closet, picking something out for you to wear.
"Oh Heavens, no, you are not going out like that! Here, why don't you try this instead? Red is positively RADIANT on you!"
Alastor would tut and force you to do little poses and spins, shifting you through multiple outfits until he's satisfied. But, of course, if you put your foot down, he won't stop you. That just means that tearing it OFF of you will be much more satisfying.
Alastor will, more than likely, forget why he entered in the first place. Or, better yet, he may not even have a reason to! He just wants to be near you, or he wants to kill time before he has to be productive. You are his one and only source of rest and relaxation. You help his brain disconnect with the world, and help him let his hair down (metaphorically).
Though Rosie and others are more than capable of helping him pass the time, he'd like to spend it with you, especially if your own time is limited. And, if you have no where to be... he may just find a way for you to keep your clothes off a little longer.
Don't mind him if there's a lingering touch here, or if your laces are tied a little too loose... he can't help himself. He'd much rather see you with nothing at all. For your sake, you better hope he isn't feeling too frisky... Because once something comes off by his hands... it make be hard or straight up impossible to be worn again.
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noxtivagus · 1 year
Text
good evening i have rambled so much lately
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luvh4nji · 9 months
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𝐍𝐂𝐓 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 + 𝐂𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆
warning: afab!reader, mark's refers to reader as a "girl", size kink in jisung's, renjun and chenle are a little mean, haechan starts talking to the puss
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mark ; he's impatient. at first, he loves it. he loves the intimacy of having his sweet girl sat all pretty on his lap, keeping him all nice 'n warm, but then he becomes hyper-aware of warm 'n wet 'n tight you are around him, how you're squeezing his cock every time you shift in his lap, and he just can't help himself.
"'m sorry, baby." he's panting against the skin of your neck, fingers pressing small bruises into the skin of your hips as he bounces you on his lap. "fuck — you feel so fuckin' good, sweetheart — shit — i couldn't wait any longer." and he's fucking you so good, hips rolling forward and sinking into your warm cunt, the head of his cock nudging against that soft, gooey spot, you can't really bring yourself to care. and when he cums, he holds you close, arms wrapping around your back, whispering apologies and praises.
renjun ; he likes to make you beg for him. he loves having you all flustered and desperate in his lap, pawing at his chest, pressing messy kisses to his neck and jaw, whining 'n begging for him to give you anything. and he'd be so condescending, giving you a small smile and shaking his head, tapping your ass as a warning to stop moving around.
"be good for me, honey, i know you can be. jus' be still for me a little longer while i finish this up, alright?" and he'd have to bite down a mean laugh when you sniffle, but nod, telling him that you'll be good in a small, defeated voice.
jeno ; he simply cannot do it. in fact, he might hate it. he makes it all of five minutes, before he's pounding into your sweet cunny, grunting and groaning, his eyes squeezing shut at the feeling of your cunt pressing around his aching cock. he really does try, but you just feel so good, all warm 'n wet around him, practically begging him to fuck his hips up into you.
"god, y'feel so fucking good." he'd groan, his head dropping into the crook of your neck, teeth scraping against the skin and leaving angry red marks in their wake. "always so ready for me, always so wet and fuckin' ready for me, isn't that right, sweetheart?" he'd ramble, bringing a hand down to rub fervently at your clit. and he loves the way you whine and writhe against him, laughing breathlessly as he places sloppy, open-mouthed kisses on your neck. "gonna make you cum so good, honey, gonna make you never wanna do that again."
donghyuck ; he likes to tease. he likes to have you sitting all pretty on his lap, leaning against him, he thinks it's so cute that you want to be around him so much, that you want to be close to him. but he thinks you're even cuter when you're begging for him. he's the type to have his fingers trace around your skin, working lower and lower until he's rubbing little circles into the bud at the apex of your thighs, asking what's wrong when you start whining and asking him why he's being mean <3
"mean? how am i being mean, angel? i don't think she thinks i'm being mean, huh?" he'd ask, tapping your clit with the rough pads of his fingers. "i think she likes me a whole lot." and he'd just laugh when you reach around to hit his chest lightly. "c'mon, baby, i'm just trying to make you feel good. don't you wanna feel good?" he'd ask, pressing little kisses just under your ear, breath hot and heavy, knowing you can't say no to him.
jaemin ; he loves it so much. he loves the intimacy of having you sitting pretty on his lap, being as close as possible to each other, especially after a long day of being away from you. it's all so casual for him. he'd come home, find you in bed and lay down next to you, pulling his sweats and boxers down just enough for you to sit on his cock, before pulling you on top of him, pressing a sweet kiss to your forehead. his big hands on your back, his head resting on your neck, his breathing deep and even, it just feels so safe and warm.
"you getting tired, lovey?" he'd ask, his fingertips tracing shapeless patterns on your back. and he thinks you're so cute when you nod, hair mussing up against the fabric of his shirt. "it's alright, angel, i've got you. you can go to bed, 'm not going anywhere."
chenle ; he's so mean </3 he's the type to make you sit on his lap, making you keep still for him while he plays video games with his friends. and when you complain, he just laughs at you and tells you to be good for him while he finishes this round, promising that he'll make you feel good. and he's definitely the type to make you cum after every round, harsh and angry when he loses, sweet and gentle when he wins.
"c'mon, honey, you know you're my good luck charm." he coos, raising a hand to pat your head condescending. and he just laughs when you whine for him, sniffling against the fabric of his shirt, overstimulation making you twitch and ache in his lap, wetness dripping onto his thighs. "aw, don't cry, angel. i'll take care of you after this round."
jisung ; besides the fact that he likes it for cuddling reasons, enjoying the closeness more than anything else, he also uses it as a way to help you get used to his size. he thinks you're so cute when you sit on his lap, trying your hardest to take all of him, whimpering 'n whining into his neck, hands fisting in his shirt, telling him how big he is and how you can't take it.
"you can take it, honey, i know you can." he'd coo, letting you hold onto his hand, lacing your fingers together and squeezing gently, comfortingly. "you've taken it before, angel, jus' gotta relax for me, alright? i've got you, honey, i won't let you get hurt."
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