#i'm sorry i wrote you a fucking dissertation

[philosophika]

Nine People You Want To Get To Know Better

Hi everyone, I'm back from an unplanned semi-hiatus (turns out moving countries can really do a number on you) and am looking forward to interacting again. On that note, thank you very much to my new mutual, @lordfenric-writes for tagging me! If you don't already know Fenric (can I call you Fenric?), go check out their Content Links Post for access to their 2023 NaNoWriMo project and more! Soft tagging: @tate-lin @lucianinsanity @songsofsomnia @moonscribbler @words-after-midnight @blind-the-winds @sarah-sandwich @mydeadpony @inkovert @sender-paulson @athenswrites @wordsacrossemptypages, @winterandwords and anyone else who'd like to participate! If you want me to remove you from the tags, just send me a message and I'll get right on it <3

Current Book I'm Reading: OK, so the first thing you need to know about me is that I'm a fully institutionalized academic, and although I've (THANKFULLY) left that world behind, I. CAN'T FOR. THE. LIFE. OF. ME. stop reading like an academic. I haven't been able to read fiction in over a year. The only genre outside of non-fiction that I still seem to be able to connect with is horror. And not like ghosts in your attic horror. Obscure, weird-as-fuck horror. Between Two Fires by Christopher Buehlman & Monstrilio by Gerardo Sámano Córdova horror (which are both excellent books, by the way). But that wasn't the question, was it? The question was: what am I reading now. Well, (oh god) I've been digging into The Last Man Takes LSD: Foucault and the End of Revolution by Mitchell Dean & Daniel Zamora, which sounds a whole lot more trippy than it actually is. Mainly, I'm interested because the authors point out that Foucault's late philosophy, his so-called 'ethical turn' towards an 'aesthetics of existence', was inspired by a trip he took to California (and the upper reaches of the universe). Since I wrote my MA dissertation on this exact topic (the ethical turn, not the LSD), I thought it might come in handy for future articles...

Last Song I Listened To: Bastille & Hans Zimmer's new cover of Bastille's Pompeii, Pompeii MMXXIII (recommended by a friend). Before that, I was listening to a 'British Folk/Weird Folk/Horror Folk' playlist on Spotify which was pretty interesting... Actually, it reminded me of being a child in the English countryside, stuffing my face with berries by the side of the road and then going to the new-age shop in the village to listen to whale-song CDs, touch magic gemstones, and smell incense sticks. Very hippie.

Currently Watching: The Servant on Apple TV (is the baby real or not!? It's driving me crazy); Foundation on Apple TV (and I swear it's not because Jared Harris is in it or Lee Pace wears chainmail crop-tops. I swear!); and... The News? Does the news count? I watch a lot of 'the news' now. Actually, I can't stop watching... It's been quite sad and terrible lately...

Current Fic I'm Reading: Sorry, I don't read fics! I know it's blasphemy. Believe me, no one is more disgusted with me than I am. But yeah, there you go... Never been my thing, really. Nothing against it.

Next On My Watch List: the upcoming Napoleon movie featuring Joaquin Phoenix; Killers of the Flower Moon; anything A23 produces anytime; Priscilla by Sofia Coppola (which is A23 also so, you know, naturally); and I'll probably re-watch The Green Knight for Christmas (it is a Christmas movie, after all).

Current Obsession: My WIP, The Sorcerer's Apprentice, which you can check out on my writeblr side-blog (@thesorcerersapprentice) has been my main obsession for the past -what?- four years? More or less? I really feel like until I've written this thing, gotten it out of me, I won't be able to write anything else. It just won't leave me alone. I can't think around it; I always end up coming back. It's a story I fundamentally, deep down in my bones, need to write. So it's my obsession: today, tomorrow, and always, right up until the day it's done.

#tag games #tagging games #open tag #Nine People You Want To Get To Know Better #writeblr community

[aberooski]

Can you imagine if Syrus' friends are just as confused as the audience regarding the fact that Syrus never snapped or became evil?

Imagine them being like, "Are you sure you don't want to go apeshit now?" quite a lot of times and Syrus always shrugging like, "Nah, not right now."

Even Zane would be a bit on the edge by the time Syrus is in charge of his recovery.

Honestly Syrus had every right to snap at some point over Zane's treatment of him. Zane treated him so bad for so long that he suffers debilitating anxiety and extremely low self-esteem and self worth. But he never held a single thing against Zane. Honestly no one did for more than a single episode for the purpose of the episodic narrative.

Syrus looks up to Zane so much that he believes everything Zane says about him is right and that he has every right to treat him as poorly as he does. He adores his brother, he loves him and idolizes him and tries so hard to make him proud and after meeting Jaden and start to gain a little more confidence and learn to believe in himself, try to prove Zane wrong.

But no matter what people still see him as being in Zane's shadow. They tackle that in episode 4 season 2: "Sad But Truesdale" one of my favorite episodes btw lol which is really the only time we see him even remotely snap or get confrontational and stand up for himself, or at least it's the first time we see that.

But the thing is, at that point he and Zane have.... sort of made amends, namely Zane telling Sy he proved him wrong about saying Sy didn't belong at Duel Academy and saying he loves him before sacrificing himself to protect him from Camula back in episode 32, but being in season 2, Zane is about to go dark himself. which therein lies the reignited of the big issue.

Because after all of that progress they made, when Zane goes dark he reverts back to not caring about Syrus but even worse than before. Even back in season 1 they try to give you hints that he might actually care about Syrus a little bit not that I believe it for a second, but now he truly doesn't care at all. Not just not caring about Syrus but not caring about anyone. But it really comes to a head in episode 95, when Syrus duels Zane to try and remind him of who he used to be, but also to prove to Zane that he's strong enough to face him and strong enough to be a true duelist. Which only serves to land him in the hospital with Zane just writing him off as weak and just as worthless and weak as he had always said he was before. Just pure emotional whiplash for Sy to deal with after the progress they started making in season 1. I literally wrote an entire one shot about it that episode fucks me up so much and makes me so mad and upset But then there's even more whiplash in season 3 because Zane comes back and protects him in Dark World and helps him work through his conflicting feelings about Jaden, and then after basically bestowing Sy unto Jay:

"You can’t leave Syrus! 😢 He needs a big brother! 😭"

"He's got one. 😌"

LITERALLY SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP EVERYWHERE STOP I CAN'T

and telling Syrus he's proud of him he says literally nothing to Sy in the sub and I hate that just dies right in front of him.

Boom. More trauma.

And then they back pedal on his death and he's alive again in season 4 and Sy dedicates so much time and effort and attention and love hinto being his caretaker. When he has every right not to. Syrus is too good to be Zane's brother. Zane doesn't deserve him.

I know I've been blabbing on here and, but listen Sy's my favorite ever I have a lot to say akaksk 😂 Syrus had every right to snap at some point, that's my whole point, and the whole point of this whole ask I'm sorry for the whole dissertation happening here akksksk

Syrus needed to have his

Moment at some point. He deserved to get frustrated with Zane, to hold him accountable for everything he said and did to him. I hate that no one ever held anything against Zane and just gave him a pass for his abusive behavior. Syrus can if he wants to, that's his right and his choice but the others shouldn't have allowed it to continue happening and not call him out on it more than the one time Jay did in episode 8 and then just dropped it.

I know if I were his friend I would be very surprised he hadn't snapped ever. I think they all should be surprised, but also at the same time it's just not the type of person Sy is. He gets into arguments and is confrontational with people sometimes it's Hassleberry 9 times out of 10 lol but generally speaking he's very timid and is just content with his situation because Zane has beaten him down so much over the years. If anything they would be more surprised if he did snap or go dark, but I think if he did it would open their eyes to how they contributed to the problem by not actually holding Zane accountable for his actions.

But for the sake of this scenario, I think they might even encourage him to just let loose because holding all that stuff in isn't healthy, but he'd say no even though he definitely would want to deep down.

A real:

Kind of moment if you will. That's what they'd be trying to get him to do, but Syrus not allowing himself to let those feelings out and just having them pile up and fester while putting on the facade that he's okay and isn't angry about everything Zane put him through... yeah I think everyone should be worried and surprised that he hasn't snapped at that point and Zane should be very nervous about Sy taking the role as his caretaker. Because when he finally does snap? All I can say is yikes and good luck because when he finally does allow himself to snap in this scenario I think he would reach a really low spot because he's already there. He would just sink even lower.

They're gonna need all hands on deck to bring him back from that eruption of emotion and pain. Because letting the floodgates open to release that much hurt, I can tell you, not for the same reasons but from being hurt by people before, it's extremely difficult to close those gates again.

And one last point to that end, you know who I think would be integral to saving Sy from that? Chazz. Because he also has horrible and intense older sibling trauma and pain that he's trying to heal from himself, and it's not even all that different from his in some ways. He can understand Syrus's feelings better than anyone, and really sympathize with him and having someone who can even remotely understand his hurt would help Sy so much when he finally does snap. It would be double special too because they never really mixed all that well, but as shitty of a thing to relate to is, this they have in common. And I'd love to see them not like... trauma bond, but trauma bond if you know what I mean aksksk like kinda actually be friends. Because Jaden loves his bestie, but he and the others could only help so much because they know what he's been through, but don't really understand.

Chazz does.

Me currently typing this out:

#again I am SO sorry for the fucking novel you just recieved my anon friend 😭 #I just wrote a whole doctoral dissertation akskskksks #but in all seriousness I wish they let Sy actually deal with all of this #someone get that poor baby a therapist 😭 #yugioh gx #ygo gx #syrus truesdale #sho marufuji #zane truesdale #ryo marufuji #jaden yuki #judai yuki #chazz princeton #jun manjoume #abby's in her unhinged era #aberooski asks #answered

[mumms-the-word]

THINGS THAT I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW ABOUT MY FELLOW WRITERS

I can’t remember who tagged me with this or if I stole it 😭

Tagging: @elspethdekarios @sorceresssundries @fantasyfictionfables @lewdisescariot and anyone else??

No pressure friends as always and sorry for double tagging, this has sat in drafts for like days

Last book I read: For fun? I honestly can't remember. For my dissertation, Phantasmion by Sara Coleridge (and I haven't recovered, it was an acid trip of a fantasy novel)

Greatest literary inspirations: Bram Stoker (fave classic writer), Marissa Meyer (influenced my love of YA fairy tales), Ursula K. Le Guin (her style is SO GOOD)

Things in my current fandom I want to read but I don't want to write: I skim/read a lot of smut for someone who will never write it. I don't even read it that much, but occasionally something catches my eye (I appreciate you smutty, smutty people). What I'd want to read but not write is slice-of-life style shenanigans between characters, the kind that comic artists like @a2zillustration do really well. Send me recs if you know other BG3 comic artists!

Things in my current fandoms I want to write but I think nobody would be interested in them but me: my current masquerade fic I love writing stuff that is incredibly specific to my Tavs because I find it fascinating to explore different character perspectives and voices? But I know the fandom tends to enjoy generalized Tavs or "you" POVs more than specific OC characters, which is fair given the nature of the game, so I don't share as much of my Tav-specific stuff these days

You can recognise my writing by: the lack of smut...and probably an overuse of adverbs. and the fact that every chapter/oneshot is ridiculously long. I'm new to fanfic, okay, I wrote full books as a hobby before this lol

My most controversial take (current fandom): oh boy I have...many, probably...I've already gotten blocked for one hot take (I think it was a misunderstanding??) but it wasn't even my most controversial take. I think my most controversial take is that there is no One Correct Way to interpret a character, and anyone who tells you that "you're reading the game files wrong" or "that isn't what is canon" is ignoring the fact that a) that's not how interpretation works, and b) the branching nature of the game is going to necessarily mean that different people encounter different things in different orders and may not even get the dialogue that you hold so dear to your interpretation of the character, and that is okay. We shouldn't ask everyone to become an expert in every facet of their favorite character's identity because not everybody has the time or energy for that. We should just hope that people are having fun. Like I know this is a complex topic and I don't want to ramble about it here lol but that's the gist

Top three favourite tropes: in no particular order, 1) arranged/convenient marriage that leads to genuine love between characters, 2) super big tall buff scary guy (tortured past optional) is actually a total sweetheart who is a little afraid of his own strength (bonus points if he falls in love with a smol person he must protect and feels slightly unworthy of), and 3) FOUND FAMILY I love it every time

What’s your current writing mood (10 – super motivated and churning out words like crazy, 0 – in a complete rut): fic writing I'm like....idk a 6? dissertation writing, which I am actually supposed to be writing, is a solid 1.

Share a random frustration: my students keep insisting on using AI to write their assignments and it is BEYOND frustrating how much time it takes up for me to read their assignment, mark where they've used AI, and then forward it to the next tier in our "Guess what you done fucked up" system for this class

#tag game #bg3

[psapphic95]

Hi! I really love your fics. You are literally my favorite writer!! ❤️❤️❤️

What got you posting on Ao3? Had you been writing this stuff or similar before you started posting on ao3?

I don’t have a good memory, so not sure if you have talked about this before or not but I was curious.

Hey hey, sorry it took me so long to respond - I've been super busy this summer!

I kind of answered this previously, but not fully so here we go:

Kinky erotica has been a big part of my life for a long time! I used to type out long stories in the notes of my 4th Gen iPod Touch when I was like 14/15 and I used to read stories on Literotica a lot (even though a lot of the writing was piss-poor and done by cis men) - I have always really enjoyed it.

(Side note: I found my iPod touch recently, charged it, and read some of those stories that 15-year-old Libra wrote. They were a little cringe but fucking FILTHY even by my standards. I was deffo a case of 'little virgin overexposed to Internet p*rn writes what she thinks sex is like.')

Anyway, when I was like 17/18, I wrote You're Mine Now with different characters; I had a very intense stalking fetish. Then when I was around 18/19 I wrote I'm Yours, Mommy. I didn't know about AO3 back then - I just wrote them for fun, and because I couldn't really find much similar erotica at the time. (I'm a big proponent of writing your own fantasies, because no author can be inside your head and truly get to the heart of what you want to read!)

Then in like mid? 2020, during COVID lockdown, I stumbled upon AO3 and Swan Queen stuff and just became a little obsessed. I had just broken up with someone at the time and was deeply procrastinating and avoiding my MSc Dissertation research, so I just spent ages reading all the amazing SQ fanfic. I hadn't read YMN or IY,M for years at that point, but after months and months of reading I wrote 'A Mouthful' very quickly with the Ruby and Erica characters and uploaded it! I noticed it didn't get many views or kudos and imagined it was because they were OC, so with YMN and IY,M I changed the characters to Emma and Regina and the rest is history!!

Anyway, thank you so much for reading and I really appreciate that I'm one of your favourite writers!!! I hope you continue to enjoy the fics - more coming soon!!!

#ask response #ao3 author #once upon a time #ao3 fanfic #mdlgkink #regina mills #emma swan #mdlgprincess #swan queen #ao3fic #ouat fanfiction

[speenach]

life update: wellbutrin (aka bupropion) will lower your seizure threshold, all right!

🎶 'cause karma is my boyfriend! karma is a god, karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend karma's a relaxing thought ...

What is karma?

according to ideapod.com, "Karma is a Sanskrit word meaning 'action.' It refers to a cycle of cause-and-effect that is an important concept in many Eastern Religions, particularly Hinduism and Buddhism. ... it means that the steps of your life, your spiritual development, and your personality are directly molded by your thoughts and actions. Present you affects future you." i hope i'm not too far off, but this lil article does remind me of the way that i think my friend with the relevant knowledge explained it to me sometime in the past decade. unsurprisingly, the song "Karma" might simplify this a little; but even if it doesn't really, 100% accurately represent what karma is, spiritually, it's my favorite Taylor Swift song of the moment. arguably the best on Midnights.

spider boy, king of thieves weave your little webs of opacity my panties* made your crown. trick me once, trick me twice don't you know that cash ain't the only price? it's coming back, around.

*it's actually "pennies," but -- excuse me? 👑 listen to this song and try to tell me you don't hear "panties." or just try to tell me it doesn't make the better lyric. try to tell me that it doesn't fit Taylor's chest voice. try to ignore the harmonies in, "i keep my side of the street clee-ean. you wouldn't know what i mean." tell me this isn't one of the best songs to cat-walk in the airport to. try to keep it out of my karaoke-ing mouth this summer. i dare you.

speaking of airports and causes and effects and summer -- eek! i was supposed to visit Ireland and the UK this past week (only Northern Ireland is part of the UK, fun fact!?). my boyfriend (my actual one, Ben, not the concept) was taking me overseas for his college roommate's wedding. it was going to be very cute! and maybe even nudged me to think more seriously about marriage -- an institution i've resisted since growing up with its politicization, a thing that could maybe actually be practical if i wasn't so worried about the aesthetics of my own fucking personal life being twisted into talking points for the right. fuck them, fuck JK Rowling, fuck bisexual erasure, fuck transphobia, fuck off.

if this sounds disorganized, it's because it is! it's because i want to convey something about the state that my brain apparently reached for me to have my first seizure on thurs, may 11, DURING A LAYOVER IN VIRGINIA, HOORAY!

sorry, the rest of this post might be upsetting for various reasons. content warning for:

expanding on aforementioned seizure & another the next day

psychosis

medical bills from the ER(s) lol

babbling — this isn't really a warning as much as it is a qualification: since i do have some (small) degree of control over who can find me on instagram, and this is likely too long to go viral organically — if you're reading this, it’s prob because i posted it or sent it to you, or it was shared by someone whom i trust with the decision to share. something happened to me last week, and, if this tumblr blog is going to be what i wanted it to be when i wrote my inaugural post in january, it's the place for me to explain what happened from my perspective. i want the people in my life to know. i also, just, can't imagine calling people up just to be like... "hey i had a medical emergency but i'm okay." idk, i want to have my whole-ass say on it. you gotta read the taylor swift lyrics first.

all right, so, right before we left for the airport, i had a meeting with my dissertation advisor about the chapter i've been struggling with for the whole school year. i was so anxious i hadn't slept the night before, even after staying up all of monday night, too, revising the most recent draft. i also smoke a lot of weed, but it couldn't help me sleep this time. instead -- and i say this with some degree of expertise/professionalism -- i must have had something like a psychotic break. i had sent my advisor about twice as many pages as he was expecting, and i literally could not believe it when he told me that what he'd read so far sounded good. i told him i felt like a delusion of grandeur was coming true. and, after that, there was a moment where i literally thought he was reading my mind or speaking to me in code or something. it was weird. i was weird.

for the rest of my waking hours, until my first seizure, i thought i'd unlocked some secret of the universe. overwhelmed by the body language of hundreds of traveling strangers around us, i seriously thought i could read people's minds, too, or at least Ben's. normal airport stuff happened, our flight kept getting pushed back, waiting was miserable; in addition to convincing myself i was reading Ben's mind, i concluded that the only logical explanation for everything was that the internet must be down, like, universally, and/or everyone's collective consciousness was going through something like Opposite Day. ... again, i was weird. but, at this point, it seemed like i just badly needed some sleep. i also kept randomly singing the chorus to “anti-hero.”

sweet like honey, karma is a cat purring in my lap, 'cause it loves me

our flight got pushed back so late that our airline put us up in a "quality inn" for thursday night. my grand mal happened during the lyft ride there, which royally freaked out our driver and pushed Ben over a mental cliff from "my girlfriend's acting weird" to "my girlfriend might die." after sleeping through a $4000 ER visit that i don't remember, that my family and i have to figure out how to pay $2000 for lol, i passed all the psych tests to be discharged. we had a short connecting flight just for me to have the same delusions and another seizure during our layover in new jersey, right around the time our Ireland flight was finally canceled. don't ask me how much the second ER visit was because i don't know yet! friday night, i slept in a hospital bed in a hallway, before i remember getting some scrubs and an actual room for the rest of the weekend. no pillow, though -- just two sheets. i was pretty confused and upset after the first couple times i woke up there and still couldn't pass the psych checks until sunday. but obviously i eventually did, Ben came to get me, and we finally flew home monday.

it's actually kind of funny. it's okay, my home doctor laughed at me, too, when i saw her on wednesday; i am a clinical vignette. like, classic psych case. girl with depression and anxiety misses too much sleep, smokes too much weed, has seizure risk factors, and seizes. (i also wasn’t eating enough, surprise). among other things, i'm on prozac and wellbutrin but am better about the latter, because i associate the former with heartburn, and i get the impression that i can actually feel when the latter works. doc and i decided to halve my wellbutrin dose, at least until i see my therapist and psychiatrist on tuesday, and i'm on a THC/tolerance break. i'm tired from over/writing this, but that's what happened!

karma is the thunder rattling your ground karma's on your scent like a bounty hunter karma's gonna track you down, step by step from town to town. sweet like justice, karma is a queen...

[stylishanachronism]

Okay so we’re going to open with the fact that while Obsidian has at least one person on staff who understands armor, literally nobody understands clothing, especially historical clothing, and though they stumbled into something... acceptable in two and a half cases(1), literally everything else they’ve produced on the subject is garbage.

So what’s the most garbage cultural garb in Eora? I’m going to shock you, despite my complaining on the affront that is the Dyrwood, it’s actually the Vailians. They’re supposedly primarily metalsmiths and textile traders, (iirc Obsidian called Venice and the Phoenicians as the major guiding influences), with really strong textual aesthetic sensibilities, and yet they’re all wearing drab closefitting garments with neither wild shaping nor excess fabric, mostly in deeply boring greys. It’s like... bad period piece Renaissance Venetians, but make it 90s haute couture. It is *painfully* bad. Deadfire improves, a little bit, but these are supposedly the most baroque bitches around, I should be seeing vivid colors (especially in reds and blues and purples), rich blacks, and enough spare fabric to drown a medium sized child. Also lace. A famous vineyard’s worth of lace. At least blackwork, come on Obsidian they look cheap.

Based on Pallegina’s armor, I should also be seeing a ‘pigeon breast’ silhouette on literally everyone, or alternatively low, square cut bodices to show off extremely fancy underwear (and don’t worry, we’ll get to the underwear), and I should be seeing split hose, not pants, if I am seeing hose at all. I will accept pants for exactly two cultures and no more. and the Republics do not apply.(2) Deadfire did them a good turn by introducing brocades but where is the velvet. The silk. The weird hats. The dagged, slashed sleeves to show off the fact you’re rich enough to wear an overdress, an underdress, and then your underwear’s fancy as hell too. Everybody on the south-eastern half of the Eastern reach is wearing, at minimum, a chemise, hose, and if you’ve got boobs some sort of stays to keep said boobs put, and pockets, before you even get to their outerwear.and just like today, everybody wants pretty underwear. Embroidered cuffs and collars, clocked hose, lace on everything, if you’re rich, blackwork if you aren’t, extremely beautiful pockets, the works. The Republics, being the rich people with all the fabric, have canonically raised fashion to an art form, so they should be dripping with extra details, and they should not only be the only people with flat patterning, they should be reveling in that fact. They are not doing any of these things.

The second most garbage cultural garb is, of course, the Dyrwood. Again, I should be seeing lots of color, not necessarily saturated but given their climate and stated food products I can make an educated guess about what dye plants are around, so lots of greens and yellows and rusty-orange reds and (maybe) pale blues, and a billion extremely rich shades of brown and almost-black, mostly plainweave for themselves (they’re shipping out their brocades for the most part), but lots of embroidery again. They can keep the bracers, they’re the only canon-given detail I actually liked (and it plays into a different headcanon re: where the fuck did you get the standing army), but they don’t even get split hose, much less pants. Skirts for everybody! Again, these people are producing all the fabric, and it’s cold(ish), so multiple layers are a thing, as is excess cloth, and if you’re going to do that, you’ll dye your underdress a fun color to contrast with your overdress (which very well might be quartered, too), at the very least. There’s probably a lot of plain trimming, and guards, and they’re coming out of Aedyran fashion so there’s not a lot of shaping but stripes and plaids are probably a thing, and certainly no flat patterning. Think bilaut over later kirtles, with side lacing and belting around the waist for various purposes (like making your boobs stay put, depending on if you’ve got stays or not, or holding up said skirt when you’re working in the fields, to get it out of the way.)(3)

Based on the leather armor you pick up, I should also be seeing the beginnings of a more conical style, moving away from clothes you just drop over your head into separate skirts and bodices (for everybody, not just women), which still probably lace up the front or (more commonly) the sides. (There’s an argument to be made that kilts are a thing, coming out of Eir Glanfath, but it’s probably more of a western than an eastern thing, and frankly I’m not sold, get back to me on this.) Also, going back to my dearly cherished ring lace headcanon, pretty much everyone wears extremely beautiful knit lace shawls (but not trim, and not non-knit), because even if you’re selling all the really nice stuff you’ve still got piles and piles of little apprentices practicing their trade, and somebody’s got to wear it.

Unfortunately I just don’t have enough information about Glanfathians to say anything other than what they’re wearing is also probably garbage, and fashion is probably a hugely tribe-specific thing. More nomadic tribes probably don’t wear many wovens, probably saving what cloth they make or trade for for things like belts and blankets and carrying bags, but again, it should all be extremely colorful. You’ll see more shaping and piecework here, because leather does not appear in neat rectangles the way cloth does, and if you’ve already got that curve you might as well use it, lots of fur, mostly for warmth but also as decoration, and we might see Dyrwodian fashion influences with the more eastern tribes, depending on the mystery of what’s going down politically at that border and whether or not those tribes are more or less nomadic.

Ixmitl gets an honorable mention for having the most color and also horses, and so the pants are acceptable, but I’d like to see more color and more embellishment. And also more information. Rauatai gets an honorable mention for having actually reasonable rectangular construction on everything (clearly an accident but I’ll take it) and again, some color. Aedyr gets an honorable mention for having some logic put into it’s creation, even if that logic isn’t extended out to its colonies like it should be, and even if what we see in game makes it clear Obsidian doesn’t actually understand how things like chitons work.

Engwith gets all the honorable mentions for somehow being the most internally consistent culture as far as art and fashion go, despite 90% of that art and fashion being extremely hard to see frescoes, and the rest of it being Thaos. Yeah it’s basically a straight copy off Sumer but you know what? That just means it works.

At some point in the distant future I may update this with illustrations of canon v. what we reasonably should be seeing, but right now is not that time.

1: Whoever Obsidian picked up for Tyranny clearly stayed on (Tyranny’s clothing was uniformly pretty great, even if it had the same bra problem), and they’re the only person with half a clue, which is why the Huana look as good as they do. Pillars gets half a point for Aedyr, Iximtl, and hilariously enough Engwith, for having reasonable starting points, and Deadfire should get another half point for Rautai, but that picture of Maia exists and it is such an affront they lost it again.

2: Ixmitl and the various groups of the White that Wends can have pants, the first because they’re canonically horse people, and that’s what pants are for. The White doesn’t actually get pants, per se, they’re fairly clearly inspired variously by the Inuit and the Vikings, so they have separate undergarments we would call pants in order to help keep warm, but it counts for this. Nobody else gets pants.

3: Just for the record, this is also where Raedceras should be, fashion-wise, but we have huge amounts of nothing when it comes to non-priest everyday wear so I can’t really talk about. My logic still stands, plus they’re even less likely to know about flat patterning, but, y’know.

#pillars of eternity #pillars of eternity meta #this is a mess I'm sorry #there will be a sister post covering the fiddly technical bits if you're confused #but I don't want to derail this more than it already is. #please drop me a line if you need a technical definition I have no sense of what people do or do not casually know on the topic #look I wrote my not-dissertation on tracing trade through fashion in art this is one of the few times I actually 100% know what I'm about #obsidian started out with the completely stupid assumption that everybody's wearing a bra and it just went downhill from there #nobody is wearing a bra #nobody is wearing pants #NOBODY IS WEARING BORING SHIT BROWN EITHER #I did not build all those fucking restoration shirts by hand for nothing #look my art history advisor had her focus in South American and Polynesian art and I loved her so much I took all her classes #so I've got two years of that plus a couple of months on Maori art from her Nonwestern overview #which is exactly enough to say 'that looks reasonable' but if I wanted to get into it I'd need to make so many phone calls #and probably write an actual thing because I would rather die than admit to this nonsense to my academic circle okay #if somebody with a better background/contacts wants to come talk about it please come hang out with me #look the cover of the game features Maia wearing a dress that wraps one way above the belt and the other way under it #and that's illegal #please mentally erase eder's pants and replace them with either a long shirt or a kilt if you like #he is not wearing pants #you can make a kilt argument #but not pants #I guess everybody in the living lands goes naked because I have absolutely no idea what they're wearing over there #or where over there is for that matter #obsidian show me your atlas please and thanks

[edwardsvirginity]

At least your doing your grad school application I’m still struggling to write out my personal statement and I haven’t even mentioned the idea of recommendations to my professors

ok my personal statement was a fucking disaster and it only got written bc one of my reccomenders asked me for it, then i didn’t respond for like a week, and then they straight up emailed me again to be like ??? and it shamed me into finally writing it. but it was HARD. and honestly it’s just. not good.

my friends are baller and 2 of them have won fulbrights, and of those 2 one of them ALSO just got a rhodes scholarship, and then my BEST friend is doing peace corps, and another friend of mine is straight up employed as an editor. i mention this not just to brag on my friends (who are gr8) but also to say that my personal statement was bad enough that i sent it to ALL of them and was like “dear god please save me from myself and tell me how to make this presentable”. so now i’m just sititng here twiddling my thumbs (after sending the rough draft to my reccomender lol) waiting for them to get back to me bc i can’t bear to look at what i have and spend MORE hours struggling over it

i would definitely say u gotta talk to ur professors asap if the deadline for the application is within the next month. like, you have to give them AT LEAST 2 weeks notice to write something. i was hella nervous abt talking to my professors (both when i thought i was gonna apply my senior year of college, and now, 2 years later) but they were honestly super chill about it. writing reccomendations is part of their job so as long as you tell them far enough in advance i’m sure it won’t be a problem. i feel u tho. it’s terrifying. 

my deadline is the 15th (sunday) and honestly i’ve been internally screaming for the last 2 weeks (when i started the application-- i’m THAT MUCH trash) but at least after sunday it’s out of my hands. but i also know that if i don’t have rapidly approaching deadlines for things, shit doesn’t get done. so hopefully if your deadline is still pretty far out that could be a reason you’re struggling-- bc it’s not a tight enough time frame to be motivating

i wish i could give u advice on ur personal statement, but i’m applying to grad school in france and it’s a significantly different format. american grad schools want all this weird creative shit from you and it’s kinda overwhelming. i’m not dealing with any of that bullshit and i’m still like 2 minutes away from an anxiety attack at any moment. so. i do not envy you. stay strong

best of luck anon. we gonna get this bread. we gonna get into grad school and go be successful in our chosen career fields. i believe in us. 

but also anon: i will say, i tried to apply to grad school my senior year of college because i was terrified of entering the workforce and didn’t feel qualified for anything with my degree. that was a bad move. i put too much pressure on myself and straight up had multiple breakdowns. it was waaayyyy too overwhelming for me to try and do a bunch of research, apply to like 5 different places, AND do all my senior year of college stuff like write my dissertation and do well in my classes. it just was not possible for me and i should not have pretended it was. i’m really glad i waited until now (~1.5 years post-graduation) to apply, because it allowed me to get an (unglamorous) job that to my legitimate shock actually counts as really good, relevant experience on my grad school application, made me think really seriously about grad school so i don’t feel like i’m doing it just to avoid a shitty economy and workforce, proved to me that i can get a job even with just my undergrad degree, and now i know when i graduate grad school i will have ~work experience~ as well. (plus, it’s been great to be able to make some headway in paying off my undergrad loans, and save some money). and while i’m still an anxious mess about this grad school app, it’s 10x easier to apply now while i have a job than when i was in school. there’s a lot less pressure, i have more free time, i feel less overwhelmed by things generally. i know even if i don’t get in things will be ok, bc i already have a job! and i’m just applying to one grad school right now, bc i have more clarity abt what i actually want out of grad school and where i wanna be. and if i decide in the spring to apply to more grad schools, i have that option (yay for european deadlines). so i would just encourage you to think really seriously about why you’re applying now and if that’s really what you want, or if you’re just doing what me and many of my friends did and trying to avoid entering the workforce/being a real adult because you feel unprepared and scared (which is understandable!! but not a good reason to spend a bunch more money to go to grad school). even my friends who intend to pursue phds took time off between undergrad and grad school. don’t put too much pressure on yourself to have things perfectly figured out right now. if you’re struggling with your application it could be a sign. it’s always good to check in with yourself. 

#anon #asks #my stepdad doens't know i'm applying to grad school #(when i've brought it up w/ my parents they've been super unsupportive) #(so i decided this is a decision i'm making on my own and they don't get to be apart of it) #and he barged into my room today and told me i was REQUIRED to decorate 3 christmas trees by TOMORROW #and i was like no??? i am super busy??>? #bc everything in my life has been put on hold till sunday #after i submit this application #and he was like what are you so busy doing?? #and i was liek.........THINGS #anyway i'm mad #this tree is gonna have to fucking wait honestly #also anon i JUST finished my personal statement last night at like midnight #so it's not like i'm particularly on top of it #i have... 4-5 days left of this hell oof #grad school #sorry for the rant i have Thoughts #to everyone's surprise i'm a semi-academic adult being and not a shitpost generator #tho i will remind yall i wrote my undergrad dissertation on memes #so i'm at least 20% shitpost generator ngl #Anonymous

[hazydaaze]

An analysis of the Bold Type that I need to get off my chest (it'll be worth it, I promise)

I studied English literature at university, and it has always been instinctive for me to analyse characters, storylines, bigger pictures and under the surface tensions in film & tv. Discussing emotions, motivations and themes with my gf and my pals late at night is one of my favourite pastimes ever and I love everything to do with filmography and art ahhhh. (I wrote my dissertation on David Bowie & The Artistry of Sexuality, ya feel me?)

The Bold Type isn't filmography at all, but I think Jane Sloan and Jacqueline Carlyle hit different for me, being a queer woman in my 20s and a full-time writer. I can't really explain why. I guess there are a lot of queer female characters in film & tv that don't really feel inherently queer, and even as two identifying straight women Jane and Jacqueline felt queer to me. Their connection and understanding of each other was authentic and quite complex. I think they had potential to be something that we'd never seen before in mainstream media, because of their age difference and life experiences. I thought that was so compelling and so important to talk about and to give a recognised space to.

There is one thing that struck me most about them and it's insane to me that I haven't seen a lot of analysis on it, so it's the point of this post.

To my knowledge the show or actors haven't delved too deeply into it either, and given what went down I don't understand why people AREN'T talking about it. I wanted to bring it up. Btw, this post contains spoilers.

***Sexual abuse trigger warning***

In season 1, we learn that Jacqueline is the victim of rape, and the only person she has told about it is her husband, Ian. Given that she mentions that they've been married for around 19 years and the assault happened before they met, we can assume Jacqueline has been carrying the weight of what happened to her for over two decades. During all that time she didn't talk about it with anyone else, not a single other person.

And then Tiny Jane comes along. Jane Sloan, the big swing writer who just wants to write meaningful stories that help other women and girls that need it, like she did growing up. She fucks up a lot on the way and slowly begins discarding her judgemental opinions as she grows. But when she is at her best she has genuine compassion and empathy for people, and despite her reservations, Jacqueline gives her the opportunity to write about the story of a rape survivor and performance artist. She isn't aware, at the time, what that means for her own trauma or her own acceptance of it. But she does it anyway, because she sees something in Jane and she has seen it there from the beginning.

Jane starts to write and, as we know, in the most beautiful and compelling moment at the season 1 finale, Jacqueline is confronted with what happened to her. She stands in Central Park holding these weights, and you can see the crushing pain in her eyes as the realisation descends down on her. She shares a look with Jane, and a moment of understanding passes between them at what this means.

Despite all this, she lets Jane capture her trauma. She lets her publish her untold experience of her rape from two decades gone. She lets millions of people see her story in writing, with Jane Sloan's name printed above it. She re-lives and faces up to the harsh reality of that pain and that truth, through Jane.

Can you even imagine the trust you must have in someone to do that? The sheer love that took, for Jacqueline to give Jane her voice and her truth, with all its painful and hard repercussions?

This storyline is the boldest part of the Bold Type. It's the most honest and the most authentic. It captures the raw emotion of Jacqueline, and of Jane, and the two characters really see each other for who they are. It's one of the reasons why their relationship is so central to the other's storyline.

We don't ever see Jane truly unpick in detail what Jacqueline did for her. It spoke so many volumes and ... well, isn't that what love is?

It's this storyline that sets the tone for their relationship over the course of the show. Jacqueline sacrifices herself for Jane again and again. She publishes the article about the lack of accessible healthcare at Safford and gets fired for doing so, purely so Jane can afford to freeze her eggs. Jacqueline says there were a lot of other things that contributed to it, but Jane knows her article was the final straw, the point of no return.

Over a decade of pouring everything she could give into Scarlet Magazine and it’s readers, only to be gone in a second. All for Jane.

And again, in season 4, in the few real moments we are given between them, one of their final interactions is Jacqueline giving Jane the go-ahead to explore a story of potential abuse at States & Nations, a company Ian is associated with. Ian literally asks Jacqueline to stop pursuing the story, due to the sexual relationship he had with the source when he and Jacqueline were separated. When Jane challenges Jacqueline over her reasoning for pulling the story, she asks her to give the story a chance. Jacqueline lets her, knowing full well that it could prove irreparably damaging to her marriage and her family, and she does it anyway.

Jacqueline chooses the truth, over her career and over her marriage. She chooses Jane. As humans, there isn't much more you can give to someone else. I’m wracking my brains trying to think of a way Jacqueline could portray her love for Jane more, and I’m all out of ideas.

I want to reiterate again how insane it is to me that none of this is really acknowledged, or at least not nearly as much as it should be amongst the show, its creators and its viewers, Jacqueline continually falls on her sword for Jane (weird analogy, but she does) and it is repeatedly glossed over. Their relationship is quickly dismissed as a "mother Jane never had" or a simple "boss/employee" power dynamic, and it seems so hollow, unjust and sorry - so unbelievably boring - in contrast to the experiences they have shared together and the sacrifices they have made.

I understand Jacqueline’s character was based on Cosmopolitan Editor in Chief, Joanna Coles, and therefore it makes sense that this queerness to her relationship with Jane was not intended. However, it’s there. Everything I mentioned in the post happened on the show in canon.

In 2021, the possibility that these two women could have romantic or sexual feelings towards each other shouldn't be a stretch. If either of these women were male characters with this much intertwined investment, high stakes and sacrifice, there would be no doubt they would be endgame. They would run away, have the hottest sex, all the while their reputations would be forever ruined in the name of love. And we, as viewers, would celebrate it without question - we would never dismiss it.

The concept of what they are, and what they can be as two women should be able to live and thrive. It should be given a beating heart. In the very least, the reality of it should be on the table and up for debate. But for many viewers, and the show’s creators, it just isn’t. And here lies the problem.

Jane and Jacqueline have such a beautiful dynamic, it is so deep and soul-wrenching. How can we ever limit what these two women are and what they would do for each other?

I really hope that one day we can see a relationship like theirs given the queer space it deserves. Because it would've been the bold thing (and the right thing) to do.

I'm going to publish a longer and more in-depth article about this on Medium, because as I said, analysing is my favourite pastime and I can't stop doing it. But for now, this is all I can manage.

Edit: Read my published Medium article.

Here's to Jane and Jacqueline and what could've been.

#jacqueline x jane #jane x jacqueline #janequeline #jacqueline carlyle #jane sloan #the bold type #the bold type review #the bold type edit #queer ships #otp

[diamondcitydarlin]

I love the way you describe Loki and Mobius' possible future in s2. Is something that I've thought about before, which honestly makes me feel kinda validated because now I know that I'm not the only one thinking that it would be beautiful to see Chaos and Order together ruling the multiverse.

That being said... do you think there's an actual chance of Lokius happening?

Hi and thank you so much! I'm glad to hear others share this theory/idea, I think it'd be so cool. It's so frustrating the setting and characters have all this potential (that seems so obvious) to be used in really amazing ways and yet those in charge chose to take frustratingly confusing turns in the writing that honor neither the themes set up in the first two episodes, nor anything that was advertised or previously discussed in interviews and so forth. What could and seemed like a tailor-made opportunity to throw Loki into a brand-new situation in which he has little to no footing and has to start improvising to the best of his ability, which causes him to start feeling genuine affection towards his happenstance companions (not necessarily even romance in season 1 just that sort of omg I have a found family thing between Loki, Mobius, Sylvie, B-15, the other Lokis etc), which forces him to come face-to-face with various versions of himself, Lokis that might have been, some of whom genuinely disgust him (like President Loki who could've been made more of a mini boss villain before Kang had they decided to give him an actual arc, and they should have), some of whom he pities, some of whom (Sylvie, perhaps) irritate him to no end but nevertheless understand him in a way only a variation of yourself could so he begins to feel a sense of kinship with them (and kind of allows him a better understanding of Thor's position in relation to him all this time), and of course his dynamic with Mobius which changes rather quickly but organically as Loki comes to trust and find himself more enraptured with him, as his thoughts and actions for Mobius gradually, naturally pivot towards a kind of selfless affection he would normally run from in fear of showing a vulnerable hand- but there is none where Mobius is concerned, esp after they've been through several missions through time together and reach a point where Mobius has eschewed the TVA and Loki has reevaluated his own 'glorious purpose' and both have concluded that their highest priorities are each other and their loved ones before anything else- sorry. What COULD have been -that- was, instead, without any real good reason to be so, a disconnected jumble of events slapped together poorly with duct tape and Elmer's glue.

(there's more, I'm sorry I wrote you a dissertation)

For my part, I could more or less understand the character transition Loki undergoes between the New York events and, say, episode 2 where he's frolicking around in Pompeii, given that he's just come face-to-face with what we're lead to believe are some pretty world-shattering things from his perspective of existence to this point, and with the assumption (then) that they were setting up for a more jovial, devil-may-care version of Loki that would develop into kind of his own thing after awhile. A Loki that has seen the beginning and end of his own life from a little projector in an interrogation room; a Loki that has had to look at the triviality of his glorious purpose and existence as a whole and slowly begins to embrace to chaos- first, as a coping mechanism because "nothing matters!!!", and after awhile, because he likes it. Because it actually feels right in a way that no other endeavor he's pursued to this point has before. There's freedom, he finds, in truly, actually, not giving a fuck. Loki is Isabella from Encanto here. What could he do if he was truly, madly, deeply in the moment? What could he do if he knew he didn't have to be perfect- by Odin's standards or Asgard's or anyone else besides? And how much more of an impact would Richard Grant's already amazing scene of summoning the illusion have been if the themes of self-acceptance, turning against perfection and expectations and tradition had been more thoroughly carried out (that is to say, at all) to that point? What could Loki become?

Okay sorry, Lokius time!

Will it happen? I......am honestly not sure, I go back and forth. If there wasn't such a huge gap of time in between this last season and the forthcoming one I'd wager a resounding no (at least not within the show itself), but as there is quite a gap I'm allowing for the possibility that things might have time to uhm...change, creatively speaking, for whatever that will mean. Like, idk, there could be turnover in writing staff. Changes in director. More time for Owen and Tom to bully them into making the show more palatable, that kind of thing lmao. There's time for things to POTENTIALLY change. Marvel is well aware of the positive reception of Owen/Mobius and the Lokius pair-up (whether romantic or just buddy cop platonic, critics and audiences seem to like it), something that would've been impossible to gauge before the show was released, so I guess the hope is that this meant enough to them to maybe shape the next phase of the story. I would hope it also meant something that quite a few people spoke up against the poor excuse for representation that was Loki vaguely alluding to having romantic relationships with women * AND * men- something we were all excited about at the time because, again, it set up the expectation there would be more of it. Not even necessarily with Mobius! Could he not have, I don't know, at least flirted with a masculine-looking bar tender while drunkenly singing about Asgard? Before he kissed himself? I mean, himself as a cis-woman? I mean, Sylvie? That would have been something! But...no, it's just 'yes maybe sometimes I do a thing with men but who knows lmao what if we kissed in front of Kang the Conqueror tho'. And there's the obvious possibility that this variant of himself that he falls in love with could have been male. It could have been Tom kissing Tom, why not, right? The setting allows for it. There's no good excuse for any of it beyond the obvious; they wanted representation points while not actually making an effort that would mean anything, and maybe just MAYBE people calling them on their bluff will matter. I dream, anyway.

I will say for sure that I do not trust the team that worked on season one to write anything worth my time (a linear plot, for one, let alone meaningful representation or profound themes), so as long as they're stuck to the show I'll just watch reactions from the sidelines and enjoy Lokius via fandom creations. If -that- particular group ever do Lokius willingly or well or at all I will be shocked. None of them really seem to care about Loki as a character beyond how he can serve as a foil to Sylvie, let alone prioritize a well thought out romance for him with vacation dad Owen Wilson. I doubt MW finds that sexy and why else would he write about anything?

However. There's the time gap thing and then there's the possibility that Mobius and Loki could appear together in a different project entirely and be written and directed by people unafraid to at least consider the possibility. Of course, a lot of this is (theoretically, anyway) vetoed and passed and enforced by executives concerned about advantageous marketing, investors and so forth (lol I say this while neither the execs nor investors seemed to care about Loki romancing what Spiderman later refers to as his 'brother' so who even knows), so it doesn't entirely come down to the creatives, but Lokius was never and is never going to be even a consideration for the previous team so...the bar is low, I guess? lmao

So yeah I'd say there's a chance! It's a small one, and my concern beyond that would be 'if it does happen will it be done well?' and either it not happening or being done in a way that is either insulting or unsatisfying is a possibility I just have to ready myself for hearing about. But hey, I'd love to be wrong.

#lokius #loki critical #antisylki #shylock

[a-kind-of-merry-war]

I'm curious about the process/behind the scenes type questions (like 10, 23, 25) but also I REALLY wanna hear about 20 👀

10 - How would you describe your writing process?

Chaotic, mostly. There's a lot of shouting at myself and going OH GOD JUST-- JUST DO THE THING!! If I'm writing fic and an idea snatches at me then I'll just... sit down, everything goes dark, and then I wake up with 1-5k in front of me and my laptop steaming. But sometimes its just... one sentence a day, one day at a time.

When I took my week off to write onitk, I was treating it like a job - sit down at 7am, write till midday, eat lunch, write till dinner, write till bed. Having the big end goal and the strict routine really helped.

23 - What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

In terms of fic, I've had an idea which is about dream sharing since... early 2020? I've not even written some of it down, yet, but one day!!

In terms of OF, I've got the dissertation screenplay that I never finished (from 2013, about zombies), the one about the ghost (which might be a love story? who knows), and the one about aliens. Also, one day, I'd like to re-write the novel I wrote when I was 15 (which was about a girl who falls in love with Death. As in... scythe-and-bones Death).

25 - What part of writing is the most fun?

The best bit is what I mentioned above - when something grabs you and you cant not write it down or you'll die, oh god--, that's the best bit. Or when you're really in the flow and you don't necessarily care if its good or not. It's also great when you have your own personal "oh" moment midway through writing something and realise what's gonna happen next - or even better, you add in a scene for self-indulgent reasons and then realise that OH NO THERE'S A KEY PLOT POINT BURIED IN THIS (this is a thing that happened in onitk that resulted in a Major Character Point that is really important to just. the whole fucking thing.)

20 - Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

Oh man this is one of those hard ones where, maybe I've done this? I must have done this, but right now my brain is soft porridge and I can't remember and all I've got is a little excited voice in the back of my head going "you did that meta joke in the 'fangs' prompt!! about the year Raff was born!!" and surely there's something more than that, please, brain--

I feel like there's definitely at least a bit of it in onitk but. brain achey. aaarrghh. (I'm sorry this was a bad answer)

[from this ask game!]

#ask game #long post

[cyancherub]

CASSIE I JUST WANNA SAY THAT YOU'RE ONE OF MY FAVORITE WRITERS HERE ON TUMBLR AND YOU ARE LITERALLY SO AMAZING LIKE FUCK CASS YOU WRITE SO WELL AND STIR EMOTIONS INSIDE OF ME THAT I NEVER EVEN KNEW I COULD FEEL

BEEN HERE FOR A WHILE BUT I HAD ONLY DECIDED TO READ WITHOUT YOU YESTERDAY AND FUCK YEAH IT WAS SO GOOD CASS I SHOULD'VE READ IT SOONER

I'M SO OVERWHELMED BY THE LAST FEW CHAPTERS I WANNA FUCKING SCREAM AND HURT YOU CASS 😭🔪 COME HERE

I'M GONNA BE HONEST WITH YOU I WAS MORE OF A KIRI SIMP BEFORE THIS FIC BUT NOW I'M DOWN BAD FOR BAKUGO NOW PLS CASS YOU WROTE HIM SO FUCKING WELL I'M TEARING UP I'M NEVER GONNA FORGET THAT SCENE ON THE BEACH WHERE WE WENT STARGAZING WITH HIM AND THAT SCENE ON THE BED WHERE HE BRUSHED OUR HAIR AND KEPT US COMPANY WHEN KIRI GAVE US THE COLD SHOULDER AND THE WAY HE STOOD IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIRE PIT JUST TO PUSH OUR LIMITS WITH OUR QUIRK :(( I ALMOST FORGOT THAT LITTLE GROCERY DATE PLS THAT'S NOT EVEN HALF OF IT HE LITERALLY DRAINED ALL THE FEELINGS I HAD FOR KIRI I'M SO SORRY KIRI BUT I CAN LITERALLY WRITE A WHOLE DISSERTATION ON WHY BAKUGO SHOULD BE THE ENDGAME

AND NOT TO MENTION THE SPICY ANGRY JEALOUS SEX OH MY GOD CASS THAT WAS DELICIOUS AND AMAZING

CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS SO INVESTED WITH THE PLOT THAT I BASICALLY HAD TO SKIM OVER THE 18+ CONTENT BC I SWEAR THE PLOT IS JUST AS GOOD (IF NOT BETTER) THAN THE PORN ITSELF LIKE THE WAY YOU WROTE DEVIL- AND HYDRA'S PAST- FUCK CASSIE- EVERYTHING IS SO INTRICATE AND GENIUS AND IMMACULATE

CASS I'M NEVER GONNA FORGIVE YOU FOR WRITING THIS I HATE YOU SO MUCH IT'S SO DAMN GOOD BUT YOU BETTER GIVE OUR POOR BAKUGO SOME JUSTICE ALRIGHT

IT HURTS SO MUCH READING THOSE RECENT SMUT CHAPTERS THINKING ABOUT HOW WE DISREGARDED OUR FEELINGS FOR BAKUGO JUST LIKE THAT BC WE'RE BEING FUCKED DUMB BY KIRI

I'M SO MAD PLS I STILL FUCKING HATE US FOR BEING SO MARUPOK LIKE STOP BEING SO SELFISH AND GREEDY AND INDECISIVE AND STUPID GOD DAMN IT BUT I TRUST YOU CASSIE I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA GIVE US A GOOD ENDING

P.S. I LOVE YOU CASSIE ALL YOUR WORKS ARE AMAZING (BTW MY FAVES ARE INITIATION AND THE LIFEGUARD KIRI FIC)

P.P.S. CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT UPDATES I'M DYING FOR MORE HERO ACTION :))

P.P.P.S. YOUR VERSION OF BAKUGO KATSUKI IS ENGRAVED IN MY HEART

H-HELLO OMG okay sorry it took me a hot minute to reply to this !! FIRST OF ALL i am giving you the biggest virtual hug through my screen right now THIS MEANS SO MUCH TO ME...,,, !!!!

SHDBGSVS DID U READ THE ENTIRE THING IN A DAY 😭😭🤚 the absolute rollercoaster of emotions u must have been on... help!!!

ITS SO INCREDIBLY INTERESTING TO ME THAT I CHANGED U FROM A KIRI SIMP TO A BAKUGOU SIMP??? because usually people say it’s the other way around with WY!!! BUT THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY BECAUSE i have some trouble writing bakugou sometimes!! especially his vulnerable side. BUT I LOVE WRITING HIM and i fell for him in the process of writing him so i could see why the vulnerability would draw u in too!! the beach scene, the stargazing 😭😭😭😭

THE FACT THAT U LOVE THE PLOT JUST AS MUCH AS THE PORN IF NOT MORE!!!! I COULD SCREAM AND CRY 😭😩😩😩 i have so much fun writing plot for WY it’s so near and dear to me and it just !!! MEANS SO MUCH! !!! Im over the moon with this comment, the fact that u like devil and the background of hydras quirk 🤧🤧💖

HAVDGS DONT WORRY!!!! bakugou’s gonna get some spicy steamy justice this chapter i promise!! It’s real nasty 😩🤚 WAIT WHDBSG IM CACKLING MARUPOK ARE U FILIPINA 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ DID U KNOW DEVIL IS SUPPOSED TO BE FILIPINA TOO 🏃‍♀️ WITH THE ESCRIMA STICKS !!!

but yes we are very indecisive and greedy BUT U ARE ALSO RIGHT THAT I AM GOING TO DELIVER A HAPPY ENDING BECAUSE MY POOR HEART CANNOT TAKE AN ANGSTY ENDING 😭 BUT I HAVE A TON OF PLOT STUFF / HERO AND QUIRK STUFF COMING UP so be ready for that !!! 😚😚

I LOVE U SM IM SO HAPPY U LIKE MY WORK MY HEART IS FULL this comment is so special to me 🥺 especially knowing that u love my version of bakugou HUGS U!!!!! THIS MADE MY DAY!!

#to cherub #plathasmagoria #wy #serotonin bank

[taenys]

Did Kr*s W*'s news affect you at all? I remember following you back in like 2011 and you were THE stan. I just hurt knowing and remembering what that pos meant to you. Sorry if this is intrusive

It was EXTREMELY upsetting to see. I'm only relieved that I'd already let go of the idealized version of him that (clearly) only existed in my head many years ago. Because I really don't know what Krystal circa '12 would've done had this come out while he was in EXO and I while I was in the peak of my "wu-fan" days. She would've been inconsolable, for sure. She truly believed Kris was this magical, wonderful, perfect boy. How very wrong she was, how wrong we all were.

Kris (somewhat abruptly and much to my disappointment) stopped being the "uwu soft sweet shy boy" after he left EXO (at least his image no longer portrayed that and he no longer presented himself in that way). And, looking back now, I'm very glad he showed his "true" colors when he went solo. It made it easier to let go of that intense infatuation I'd had for him.

There were times, in these past few years, where I'd try to get back into my hardcore Kris stanning. I'd watch old EXO content and I'd feel nostalgic. I'd remember all those feelings I had, how good they made me feel, just to see that cold shy tall boy being goofy and soft with the members, and I'd think "let's watch some of his current stuff and see what he's up to! Maybe that Kris I loved is still there somewhere!" but when I'd see him in his recent interviews and stuff he just seemed so....conceited and dumb. That, and his constant cultural appropriation was just a massive turn off. He gave me such intense airheaded, fuckboy vibes and it just would not go away, try as I might! lmao.

Anyways, all of that led to me growing quite indifferent to him. But when this news came out, of course my brain immediately went "wow, you spent YEARS obsessed with a rapist. COOL." and I felt sick to my stomach. I was worried to come on tumblr tbh. I was afraid that I'd have a ton of messages from all the people who'd sent me anon hate back in those days, or who'd spent their free time making fun of me and "dragging" me on twitter with their friend groups, for being "in love" with Kris. In fact, if any of those people are still involved in kpop, I'm sure when they saw the news, they probably thought of that ~crazy~ Kris stan "wu-fan."

And I think that's something that really bugs me. That I'll always be associated with him on this site and in the kpop community. I was "tumblr famous" because of him. Many of my friends I have because of this blog, because I was "wu-fan," because I wrote essays and dissertations about how much I loved him and worked hard to make others love him as well. That's my legacy. And it's completely tainted now. I'm very uncomfortable knowing that my legacy on the internet is stanning a now confirmed serial sexual abuser. Especially considering I myself was sexually abused, and actually found HEALING in becoming a Kris stan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, okay. I need to stop dwelling on it. This all screams #firstworldproblems and the reality is, my lame insignificant internet blog means nothing compared to the actual women who were physically hurt by Kris Wu. They have all of my love and support.

#anonymous #reply #personal

[odinsblog]

Hello! I'm not tryna be mean or force your hand or anything, i'm just curious. If the choice is between biden and trump as republican and democrat ("democrat") who would you vote for? Would you vote for a third party knowing they probably won't win? Also if you don't mind sharing why? I trying to figure out how I feel but it's not like i can vote anyway

Two things I’ve never done in my 35yrs on planet earth: 1) vote for a Republican - not even one who calls himself a Democrat, 2) vote for a third party candidate. So no, if it comes down to Biden vs. Trump, I will not vote for Biden or Trump. And I won’t vote third party either.

Maybe I’ll write in my mom? She isn’t running for any office, but hey, at least I would be able to say that I voted for my mother for POTUS.

Why? Because the DNC has overplayed their hand. Again. We had better candidates available, but corporate media and the DNC put their thumbs on the scale. And now for the second time in 4yrs, they have forced another “lesser evilism” game. Sorry, but I’m not playing. They got me in 2016. I held my nose and voted for the “inevitable” Hillary Clinton last time (and she still lost), but this time, if Biden becomes the nominee, then y’all are gonna have to pull it off w/o my help.

And I cannot be made to feel bad about my choice. Joe Biden is a deeply conservative racist who wrote the mass incarceration crime bill. He’s a whore for corporate lobbyists and Wall Street. Biden has done sO much across so many areas to harm black people, and sorry but I will not be forced to be a participant in my own demise.

And before anyone says, “not voting for Biden is a vote for Trump,” I just want to clarify something: Rigging the primaries and disenfranchising/alienating the progressive base was a vote for Trump. Nominating Republican-lite Joe Biden as the Democratic nominee was a vote for Trump. So as far as I’m concerned, the DNC voted for Trump first.

The whole, “vote blue no matter who” was a slogan created by the DNC when they already knew that they were going to rig the primaries again, so #VBNMW has always been a slick way of saying, “you just fucking vote for whoever we tell you to vote for.” Don’t get mad at me for not wanting to play along in a rigged game.

Ofc I’ll vote Democratic for all the down ballot races, in hopes that there is a Democratic Senate & House, but other than that Joe Biden & the DNC can kiss my black ass. I am super tired of conservadems rigging the game and then trying to shame me into voting for their rigged, conservative nominee.

The DNC and the DCCC need to be cleansed of all the conservative, old, decrepit, Reagan Democrats. The ones like Clinton, Biden and even Obama - who believe that civility and always “compromising” with (read: appeasing) Republican fascists is more important than actually opposing them.

Al Fram helped create the “new” Democrats to win back Southern white voters. These Reagan/Clinton/Biden/Obama Democrats might occasionally get something right policy wise, but they are always going to predicate their fiscal policies on pleasing corporations and conservative white voters. Search my posts tagged “Joe Biden” if you need more clarification on where I’m coming from.

Anyway, there’s a lot more I could say. Like, a lot more. But I don’t have the time or inclination to write a dissertation right now.

I will not vote for Joe Biden. Periodt.

#anon #ask #answered #joe biden #fuck joe biden #joe biden is a republican #never biden #never trump never biden

[sunnyie-eve]

Somebody To Love (Part 20- Falling Of Queen)

(Ben!RogerTaylor)

Words: 2102

Warnings: Language

A/N: Sorry I haven’t been very active with the story. I’ve been busy and everyone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

London 1982

Felix just had his second birthday and Louisa had her first. Jim asked me to tag along today to an interview the bands was going to for the new album. Which meant I had to get a someone else to watch Felix because my parents were out of the country for a holiday. Lucky my brother Harry and his girlfriend said they would look after him for me today and whenever I need someone in the future.

"Why are you here?" Paul asks as I hope out of the car with Jim. "I told her to come. It's her job to be here too remember. Plus I made Alice my assistant to help co-manage the band." Jim says smiling at me and I follow him inside. "Jim, were you just being serious out there?" I ask as we get closer to the back room with the band. "Yes darling. I feel like you need a better position then just sewing the bands clothes. Now you'll help me keep the band on schedule, help with concert dates and more." He pats my back opening the door for me. "Thank you!" I hug him and Roger rushes over to me.

"Do I look alright? For the press?" He shows off his outfit making me laugh at him. "Umm Where's the tie you had leaving the house... add that then maybe you'll look better." I pat his chest going to sit by Brian and Deaky. "Fred looks like a mess." I sing quietly looking at him talking to Paul. "Probably high once again." Deaky shakes his head as I lean mine on him and throw my legs over Brian's lap. "Look Deaky, Alice is actually giving us attention." Brian says slapping my thighs. "She loves us again." Deaky shouts holding me in his arms. "I've always loved you guys. It's just I've been busy." I sit up and kiss their cheeks. "YOUR MY WIFE! BACK OFF ALICE!" Roger yells sitting on my lap.

"It's time." Jim tells the band and we all leave the room. "Please tell me you're going to take off those sunglasses." I look at Roger as I fix his outfit one more time. "Love you." He kisses me before following the guys out. "Alice dear, you can stand next to me." Jim motions for me to follow him. When the questions started it was all Freddie, Freddie, Freddie... with unnecessary questions that had nothing to do with the album. Brian looked at me and Jim and we just had the same look as him.

"I don't know, I haven't figured out love yet." Fred says to one of the reporter. "But it implies something else, Freddie." The same reporter says. "That might be a better question for Rog." Fred says looking at Roger. "Watch it." Roger says taking a drag of his cigarette then turns his head towards me. I cross my arms then pop my neck looking back at the press. They still go on and only ask Freddie questions about himself and not the band. Brian tries to get them to ask about the album but no one listens. It jus gets more louder and Fred snaps right back. I could tell he was going to crack at any second and then bam! He stands up starting to yell. "Okay, Thank you. Time is up." Jim says and the guys start to walk back. Roger walks over to me and takes my hand into his. "Fuck Freddie." He says as we try to walk throw the crowd.

"Roger, Alice is your marriage working? What was Fred saying about asking you?!" A reporter asks us making more follow us now. "No questions." Rog says pulling me closer to him. "Is that a no then? Are you cheating on your wife?" Another asks and Jim, Brian, and Deaky rush over to us. "We're perfectly fine." He says trying not to break like Fred did. "No more, questions. The press conference is over now." Brian says holding me close to him since Roger passed me to Brian to get in the car.

When we get in the car Roger starts to cruse up a store and I try to calm him down. "Rog, baby breath." I hold his hands and he glares at Freddie in front of him, "You started it." He points his finger at him and he just laughs at Roger. "Darling, I don't know what you're talking about." Roger's face starts to turn red. "Roger, Quit it please." I make him look at me and he just looks at me the whole ride trying to ignore Freddie and Paul.

~

"Oh my god, look at you!" I clap my hands at Freddie and he poses for me. I just arrived to the set for I Want To Break Free music video. "Where's Roger?" I ask and I see Brian walk towards me and I start to crack up. "How the hell did they get all those rollers in your hair?" I look at his hair and Deaky then joins us making me die more. "Just wait till you see your husband." He says and points towards the door he came out of and I quickly walk towards the door.

I open it to see Roger in his drag outfit of a school girl and I crack up making him get embarrassed. "Look at you!" I clap my hands and he stops me, "Stop, I'm embarrassed like this." He says making me giggle, "Why? You're bloody hot!" I give him a small kiss and he whines, "Stop!" He lets go of my hands and goes to join the boys. "Babe, you don't need to be embarrassed." I say wrapping my arms around his waist and he slaps my hands. "You know, I'd rather see you in this." He whispers turning around kissing me. "Nah, I prefer you in it." I wink going to go sit and watch them record.

Once they were done filming the music video one of the dancers took pictures of Roger, Brian, and Deaky on the couch. "Brilliant. Can I get up now?" Roger asks laying on his back across Deaky and I smile at them. "What is happening?" Roger asks as Deaky keeps him in place. "No, you can't." Deaky says and Brian joins in, "I wanna be in it." I shake my head walking up to them. "Get off me!" Deaky yells as Brian gets in him. "You are grown men acting like this." I laugh and Roger reaches for my hand pulling into the beg mess.

"Come on, guys! You gotta get out of this and back into normal clothes." I laugh trying to get up as they hold me down. "Ugh Fine." The all getting up going to their chairs and I follow Roger. "You know, I'm happy that you went with my idea I gave you because you pulled it off." I say taking off his makeup and wig. "You fine me attractive in this still?" He laughs and I nod my head. "I told you earlier didn't I." I kiss him and he holds me by my waist. "Now, have fun getting out of those tights baby." I wink at him while he leaves to go change.

~

"So why exactly is Fred calling everyone to meet up and again why do I have to come too?" I ask Roger as we go to see Freddie. "I don't know, he said he had something to tell us. And I drag you along because you're not only my wife but also part of the band too." He holds my hands as we park the car and the other two show up too.

"He'll be right out." Paul says walking into the room and we all take a seat and I sit on the same sofa as Deaky. Freddie walks into the room and is quite for a few minutes before speaking. "MTV banned our video. The youth of America. We helped give birth to MTV." He says turning to face us. "It's America. They're Puritans in public, perverts in private." Brian tells him and he shakes his head. "I'm never tour in the U.S again. And I'm the one being blamed for it. Not you, dear... whose idea, I believe, it was to dress up in drag. Not you... Not even you, who wrote the bloody song." Fred points at each member.

Freddie continue to say what everyone was calling him and that's he's tired of touring, which made all of us look at him. "Well I need a break." He says before going on, "I'm sick of it." He says not looking at us. "What are you saying, Freddie?" Deaky asks him and he stays quiet for some quite of time. "I've signed a deal with CBS Records." He says with his back still facing us and we all react differently. "You've done what?" Roger sits up all the way. "Without telling us?" Brian asks turning around. "What kind of deal?" Deaky asks.

"Look, I'm not saying we won't record or ever tour again. Queen will go on. But I need to do something different." He goes on and I was screaming on the inside not listening to him anymore. "A solo album?" Brian asks and Paul speaks up, "Two, actually. Back to back." I see Roger getting mad, "Another word out of you and I'll throw you out the bloody window. " Paul just looks away. "But that's years, Freddie. I mean... that will take years." Deaky sits up. "I don't believe this... how much?" Roger asks him and he does answer him. "What did they pay you?" He asks again and no answer. "I want to know how much they paid..." Fred cuts Roger off. "4 million!" He yells at him. "That's more than any Queen deal." I say shaking my head.

"Fred, we're a family." Brian says making Fred snap. "No, we're not! We're not a family! You've got families, children, wives. What do I got?" Fred shouts. "You've got 4 million dollars. Perhaps you can buy yourself a family." Deaky says. "I won't compromise my vision any longer." He says and Roger gets pissed again, "Compromise? Are you joking? You were working at Heathrow before we gave you a chance." Fred spins around very quickly, "And without me... you'd be a dentist... drumming 12/8 time blues at the weekend at the Crown and Anchor. You wouldn't even have your wife if it wasn't for me." He says then turns to Brian and I start to get mad.

"And you. Well you would be Dr. Brian May... author of a fascinating dissertation on the cosmos... that no one ever reads. And Deaky... for the life of me... nothing comes to mind." He tells the other two. "I studied electrical engineering. Does that meet your standards?" He lets him know. "Perfect." He laughs. "Dear Alice, you would probably have such a better life then being stuck with this band and your messed up husband. You just turned into one of his little fuck toys to play with your dumb heart. You stupid little slutty girl. " He smiles at me and Paul chuckles.Roger was about to grab him but I put a finger up to stop him, "Fred, Why didn't you just take the offer when Reid told you years ago? You basically fired him for no reason because he was just doing what someone else told him to do. Also Darling, I'm not the toy here anymore... You are one now. " I spit at him clearly pissed off with him and he stays quiet and begins to leave the room.

"You just killed Queen." Roger tells him. "Oh, give it a kiss one day. She might wake up." He says. "You need us, Freddie. More then you know." Brian tells him. "I don't need anyone." He says leave us and Paul gets up to follow him. "Told you." He whispers to me and I flip him off, "Fuck you."

"You said something about an offer in the past?" Roger asks me as I run my hand through my hair. "Yes, that's why Fred fired Reid. Paul talked Reid into telling Fred about a solo deal back then." I say looking at the floor. "And you didn't tell us?" He raises his voice at me. "Don't raise your fucking voice at me! I told you I didn't trust Paul and that he was up to something! BUT NO, you told me that I was stressed out with the baby!" I yell at him standing up to face him.

#ben!roger taylor #roger taylor #brian may #john deacon #freddie mercury #Queen #ben hardy #joe mazzello #rami malek #gwilym lee #bohemian rapsody cast #bohrhap #bohemian rhapsody

[narutos-fat-meat]

I've been in the fandom since I was a child and there is no one more delusional or toxic than fucking IRs. the way they cornered and bullied anyone who didn't ship IR, the way they wrote misogynistic dissertations on why Orihime was a bad person and manipulated people into feeling bad for liking her, yeah. they deserve 0 respect and can go fuck themselves. I'm sorry they're bothering you.

Dude I just didn’t expect the blatant r*cism and tr*nsphobia??? Like to be told to fuck off (maybe even being told to KMS) yeah (overused and means nothing to me atp) but people defending this shit are sick😟

Aw don’t be sorry bub it’s not your fault sometimes people are foul.

[heurtebizzz]

I think I typed up a post like this around this time exactly one year ago. I think the post was mostly about Sherlock. This year is different as I have nothing like that to wait for but hey I've been moody for the past week and drinking since 4pm today oh yesterday, actually. Anyway, I shouldn't really complain about the past year as it was, objectively, personally successful. I published my first peer-reviewed article, passed comprehensive exams with a distinction, defended my dissertation prospectus, attended 4 conferences, 2 of them outside the u.s., won a substantial award to travel to one of those, visited Europe for the first time in 5 years, etc, etc. Also, I naturalized as a citizen of the Land of the FreeTM, and isn't that a cause for celebration alone? Also, I felt perpetually tired and under pressure but it's just life I guess. The whole year though felt terribly difficult. It started out with s4 turning out to be a heartbreaking mess, and then it had just been like that all the time. With a crazy crook for president and everything that follows from that you get the idea. I know I'm being somewhat inconsistent throwing together personal Sherlock related displeasure and bigger things like politics that sure affect more people than just me. Well, sorry. I'm being subjective, but just in a way, and maybe when I'm sober and feel healthy and energetic (so, like, never) ask me to elaborate on this one curious thought that has been nagging me since January 15th. The thought that the conservatism of Sherlock creators that became so explicit in S4 -- I wrote about before -- and the current global conservative turn we are conserving on various levels in many different countries may be parts of the same development. Before I digress, that is to say that 2017 has been taxing (no fucking pun intended but my American friends should spare a laugh or two here).

With all that, if you're still reading this, thank you. Sherlock didn't turn out what I hoped it would but its fandom here on Tumblr had saved-- or salvaged, you decide-- most of what's been captivating about the series right from the start. For me, hanging out on Tumblr and meeting wondeful people has always been a positive thing but in 2017 it became a necessity that I needed to simply stay sane. Thank you for this my followers and mutuals and those I follow-- without you, I would still be a fighter, but a very lonely one.

#personal #do not reblob pls