#idk just feels very- true

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[lunarharp]

What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)

#witch hat tag #orufrey #er.... i'm too tired to have anything to say..i worked several days on this. #wait.. didn't i say just recently here that i probably wouldn't ever depict 'what if alaira is qifrey's sort-of ex'. What's going on #i don't even remember deciding to draw this..it's all a blur..i'm not sure why i WOULD decide to draw delicate scenes in my head #that i wouldn't really want to share with anyone/discuss so why did i draw it... #some part of me really really wants to draw things that are more and more true to myself... #maybe because of my alienation with most romance/shipping/dynamics the rest of the world depicts. #orufrey really is perfectly suited to me - what i read in the text and what is in my head. well anyway #i am TIRED of drawing poses and angles and..maybe now i will actually take a break from drawing bc of the tediousness of Angles #btw it really is a 'stretch of time' . . . assuming witches graduate age 18-20 #well orufrey are canonically 30-ish. they've only had agott around for presumably about TWO years (?) bc she took the test age 10 #and it feels like oru moving in/unknown atelier acquisition/building (?) .. i guess that could be a year or so before agott at most #(she was the first disciple) so... ????????? What about the other 7 or so years ?!?!?!!?!?! Unemployed Brimhat Hatred era #that time is very nebulous. after qifrey went to the tower i feel like it's been implied he and oru drifted apart a little. #certainly they didn't live together at first... no way. that doesn't feel like how it is based on things oru has said about becoming Eye #idk. I'm tired now. i don't usually think of alaira as necessarily qifrey's ex and this being how things went in that 'sliver of time'. #i usually prefer the idea that they have their first kiss with each other in their 30s cause That's Just The Orufrey Lifestyle #just felt like making a more relatable alternative view of my own Cai Orufrey Canon one time. btw im a big monoshipper and it hurt a bit #let's leave it there. this is surely the most i've worked on a 'single' art - though now i realise just how much longer the fic took :')

[itspileofgoodthings]

one of my favorite things about pride and prejudice is that in the last third of the book Elizabeth’s internal monologue about Darcy is her admitting that she’s in love with him but also putting all sorts of qualifications around that statement that kind of ...tamp down the level of emotion (the “feelings, if not as tender as Jane’s for Bingley, at least as just” line, even the whole thing about her and Darcy being well-matched objectively speaking) and as soon as she’s engaged you get the unbridled joy in the narrative about her own joy, cc: “I am happier even than Jane; she only smiles, I laugh.” 

#pride and prejudice #jane austen #this is very obvious but it's in the narration itself #that she's trying to sort of distance herself from the depths of her own feelings in case this DOESN'T work out #i also think the rational stuff is totally true and she would say that after as well but she would say it in a different way #idk i just love it. it's so subtle and it's so true #also very obvious?? i feel like i'm making a very obvious point #but anyway 'elizabeth's feelings soon rising to playfulness etc. etc.' #also this is why i hated the end of a civil contract actually #i felt like she was tamping it all down and for some reason it just made me SO mad #like no. it's supposed to OVERFLOW NOW #adam being like 'and in the end the rational choice was jenny' sir i will FIGHT YOU IN THE PARKING LOT #idk i was student teaching and very emotional at the time maybe i missed something and read it wrong #but my entire spirit REBELED #like. how honestly DARE #i'm avoiding grading can you tell #yes you can I will go now

[butterflysonnets]

yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

#eve text #elmike #stranger things #byler #only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol #tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS #god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear #i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable #i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts #elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about #even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike #i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up #the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me #and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing... #the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me #and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin #also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice… #fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK #so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows #i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too??? #love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk #tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO... #like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO #stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest #anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul #i need frivolity #ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show

[pepperpixel]

“put me on a pedestal and i’ll only disappoint you

tell me i’m exceptional, and i promise to exploit you

gimme all your money, and i’ll make some origami honey!

i think you’re a joke!!! …but i don’t find you very

fuuuuuuu~nyyy”

More tagr art!!! Assorted stuff this time! Featuring some cute chibi stuff. Some solo gaz’s, a lil uhhh. Comic of an altercation.. and a very belated Halloween pic I started drawing last Halloween and didnt finish lol. Also featuring lyrics from pedestrian at best cuz that song rllly rlly fits my ver of tak lol.

#invader zim #gaz membrane #invader tak #tagr #iz tak #iz gaz #tak #doodles #there toxic yuri!!! they’re all over the place!!! tak is tsundere insane alien who fueled by revenge it’s gonna be rough! #I think. there relationship would slowly grow and develop as gaz is helping tak w all her injuries #but I think they’d end up having a true true falling out sometime after take fully healed and gets her ship back. #and they’d be split up for a few years maybe? idk how long I’d want it to be. but! yeah. #absence makes the heart grow fonder and makes u realize how fucking stupid u are #and eventually they’d reunite and shit would be better lol #I don’t want them to be at each others throats forever that’d suck lol #theyre just definitely are moments where there at each others throats in the beginning #but they r also moments.. where they both feel true belonging and acceptance. like they never have before… and it blows there lil minds… #I also dO want gaz to go into space at some point w tak cuz that’d be fucking awesome #after they reunite again they can go explore the universe a bit #these r all very half baked ideas btw and also my brains mush cuz ive been drawing all day #so please excuse if said ideas suck. also please excuse all the typos lol #I might change my mind on the them separating idk… or maybe make it a shorter amount of time… idk!! I havent thought thru all this shit lol #it’s not like I’m gonna write a story or actually make a comic I’m just drawing random fanart #I don’t need to have all these thoughts all solidified lol

[fantasykiri5]

Fabian and Riz to me are like. They’re like the definition of “a secret third thing” to me but not like in a qpr way. Their thing is just Their Thing, like they’re inseparable they drive each other fucking bonkers they care so deeply and they’re stupid teenagers and I don’t think they would even really think about it at all. I don’t think either of them can imagine a world where they’re not at least around the other, and like whatever their thing is definitely isn’t allo but it’s definitely not regular besties shit. They just like being around each other, I don’t think either of them would really even think to put a name to whatever it is they’ve got going on, and I definitely don’t think either of them would ever put enough thought into it to even figure out what a qpr is, much less label themselves in one. They’re just Fabian and Riz. The Ball and Captain of the Owlbears. They’re just them I think. Idk man.

#kiri rambles #idk dude it’s a hard thought to verbalize I think #as someone who is more recently realizing that I’m PROBABLY at least some manner of arospec and probably also acespec but also in a very- #-happy romantic relationship of nearly two years with my best friend- who’s also thinking he’s at least acespec- I just kinda relate to- #-whatever thing they have going on is #like yeah technically we’re dating but we’re also just like. hanging out mostly. idk #IDK. idk I just relate to their crazy codependent bullshit I guess #fabriz #<- sort of?? idk #like I like some of the ship stuff a lot of it is very funny and I relate to it but I also really respect the more stark aroace Riz- #-believers like I think they’re both true. yeah he IS aroace or at least aroacespec to me but also FROM EXPERIENCE whatever he and Fabian- #-have going on has NO way to be like regularly platonic #I guess this makes me a qpr Fabriz truther?? idk I don’t think they’d ever outright say it #but it’s the same flavor as a qpr I think. it’s in the same vein but neither of them will ever acknowledge it #anyways sorry for my incoherent ramblings I just Feel That Shit man #riz gukgak #fabian aramais seacaster #fabian seacaster #d20 #fantasy high #yeah that’s all the tags I’m giving it I’m tired

[say-hi-intrepid-heroes]

.

#i'm getting an impending sense of doom that i'm going to be outed as queer soon to my mom #idk why but that's just the feeling i'm getting and usually my Dread Feelings are correct so that's very scary #it also could just be cause this is my first time having a queer partner who isn't long distance and is also out very publicly #like i can't even talk about them in a vague way without outing myself #and i'm spending time with my mom this weekend so unfortunately now would be the time for this prediction to come true #it's not necessarily a life shattering thing but it would be shitty if it did happen #so please pray or manifest or whatever other thing you do that if this does happen then it can go smoothly #cause this could go south real fast #personal

[corrodedcoughin]

Thinking about steddie future where they're both just average guys. No rockstars, no basketball players just two Normal men living a normal life because honestly? they deserve it. They deserve soft domesticity and happiness.

They both have jobs they like but don't love and they're happy with that. Eddie maybe becomes an electrician, working for someone else's company. His coworkers are chill, he gets to get out and work with his hands and that's more than he could have asked for. Steve is a physical therapist, or a manager in some business. He likes his team and the steady hours. He's not working for his dad which is a plus.

They buy a house together, that's not a mansion but it's not a trailer either. Steve does a lot of the dishes because Eddie hates it, hates the feeling of old food on the plates and cutlery. So Eddie will kiss Steve on the cheek and does the laundry because Steve fucking hates laundry. And sitting on the floor watching TV while he folds clothes is honestly sort of relaxing?? Love is doing the chores your partner hates.

Steve and Robin go out for brunch at least once a month, where they catch up and gossip for hours and hours and Steve comes home lighter with updates on Robin and Vickie. Eddie will have nightly phone calls with Wayne, where they talk and laugh and Eddie will eventually hand the phone over to Steve so he and Wayne can talk sports together. When he's in town Dustin will come over and stay in their spare room and they laugh and joke so much it's just like old times. They go over to Jeff's house for dinner on a semi regular basis, and it's nice having normal friends.

They adopt a very annoying cat who will climb all over them in bed and meow in their faces when they don't wake up to feed it breakfast in time. Steve will go for jogs on a Saturday morning, coming home to Eddie reading in bed. Some old western book Wayne recommended to him. There's a steaming cup of coffee waiting on their bedside tables that Eddie's prepared.

They take time off of work and go on a week long vacation because they can do that now. They do dorky touristy things and Eddie buys a mug to send to Wayne. Steve takes a lot of dorky photos of the two of them.

Idk they deserve to be normal and alive and happy with no upside down anymore <3

Oh I love this! I had actually been thinking about tradesman Eddie for a little bit I am so, so glad you’ve come up with this!

I can so completely see him learning a trade and just getting employed and put through his time by a small local employer! He has to go through his exams and that part of it worries him when he first gets the job but his team end up being really supportive and Steve stays up late with him, practicing circuits and wiring and quizzing him on currents and volts. Eddie returning the favour, letting Steve mark up his muscles and be a living anatomy dummy. Sure it gets a little sexy from time to time but more often than not it’s just them testing each other as Steve identifies bones and Eddie talks about parallel circuits.

The monthly brunches mentally and physically revive Steve after working extended hours with patients that he really does want the best for but a jobs a job and it can get pretty tiring. They joke that they rebalance each others chakras but they really do feel realigned after their meet ups. Eddie can see it to, sometimes he’ll come pick them up when it’s been a boozy brunch and delights in seeing them happy and light, clambering over each other to tell Eddie something about one of the waiters or an especially good dish they ordered. When he drops Robin home Steve sits in the front and looks at peace and Eddie feels the same way.

Their weekends are for them, sometimes that means staying home and cleaning the whole place between ordering food in and sometimes that means going on a day trip and taking Wayne around all the antique spots around the county and seeing what horrors they can uncover. Top spot currently sits with Wayne’s find of a doll whose limbs had been replaced with horse legs and had the head of a fish. Of course they bought it.

Every time they go on a holiday they make sure to send postcards to everyone, including themselves, seeing if they’ll get home before the postcard does. Steve keeps them in a photo album, each with a Polaroid of them next to it. Sometimes taken by a stranger, sometimes just a close up of their faces squashed together. It’s Eddie’s favourite thing to go through on their anniversary, or any day really, just loves being reminded that this is the life they get to have.

It’s mundane, dare say even normal, but they love it. Steve comes home every night, happy to put his scrubs in the washing machine next to Eddie’s uniform, happy to be where he feels loved.

#momo :((((( you never put a foot wrong and your words are Art #I honestly feel very lucky to receive them #cat dads is so painfully true. they buy it the best food they can afford and toys and cat nip and pander to its every need #and it just loves them so aggressively for it. they have one of those baby slings for it #I love them doing dorky tourist stuff!!! I want them messing with perspective to create funny photos like holding buildings #Steve being on the phone with Wayne for the entirety of the game so they can discuss it real time. sometimes it’s just silence and Eddie #will go to speak and both Steve and Wayne will stress shush him so he goes off to meet Jeff and the guys #sometimes the guys come over and they have a night of whatever movie has come out on tape #it’s domestic and normal and they get old and happier #they go to whatever gig eddie gets tickets for. they go on their first trip abroad. they host Christmas. #(only the once though. neither of them have recovered from that experience) #idk you are just so right they can just be normal guys in love and being happy #sorry this isn’t the best reply I’m very rusty. I just love your ideas #thank you so much I really mean it #momo #stranger things #eddie munson #steddie #steve harrington #ask

[oceanwithouthermoon]

aiura def has a photo wall with hundreds of pics of her and her friends..

everyone is in a few but its mostly the psychickers and chiyo...

#idk why i feel like toritsuka takes a lot of the pics #toritsuka photography hobby real ?? mikorei bonding over photgraphy and decoden sorry i dont make the rules #not just their phones and cameras covered in cuteness- a lot of the pictures r phramed with stickers n stuff too #anyway some of the pics r just shottily taken selfies by tori or miko #but theres also a lot of candid pics of each other and kusuo #nobody can ever get a true candid pic of akechi hes always staring at the camera #hard to get candids of kusuo too for obvi reasons but hes almost always making the same face anyway so its not like he cares that much #also so many cute candids of and selfies with chiyo... #and a lot of photobooth strips #theres a single candid pic of chiyo trying to flirt with kaido and shes tried very hard to get miko to take it down- #cuz its embarrassing but miko thinks she looks too fucking cute #also at least one person in the group has a gopro and saiki gets to take unlimited underwater photos #sleepover pics with all the girls too... #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k. #aiura mikoto #meows post

[transmascutena]

thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder

#akio and utena #m #long ramble in the tags sorry: #the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human #he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims #he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry. #and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios #(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think. #like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her #i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing #not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that. #and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did #but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her? #whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway #idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims #the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it? #how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions. #(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive #but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.) #when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her #but is there something genuine there too? i don't know. #again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me. #on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had #reflected back at him through her mean anything? #is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid. #either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over. #i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways) #but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly #wants you to analyze and think about. #which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.

[strangewiggles]

You were spilling all my will out I was bleeding my last brains It's nothing like the nothingness That normally numbs one's pain

Goodbye, oh goodbye

some closeups for you

#almost forgot to put tags #pathologic #pathologic 2 #my art #pathologic albino #albino pathologic #ill keep my ramblings IN THE TAGS this time . #oomf finished patho2 and we had a long conversation about how the albinos feel like. wasted potential for what they SEEM to symbolize #in the nocturnal ending anyway #this art is of the diurnal ending if that isnt. clear #because TO ME #what they symbolize is. a dying culture. and that seems. like its true? and not just “oh this is how i felt about them” #but some people are bigger pathoheads than me so idk #but they had been presented as fictional or a part of artemy's mind #as theyre first shown in the tumbler human #then the dream #but yknow when things get so unbelievably desperate they have to get out of hiding #and come out of hiding i mean literally cuz i like to think they went into hiding deep in the abattoir #sorry if i am just explaining stuff that is very blatantly in the game . ive been thinking about this for the last few days #let me feel smart okay #“give the albinos a voice” is very on the nose #IN A GOOD WAY!!!!! [SPONGEBOB ROCK FALL IMAGE] #in a WONDERFUL way actually. when i think about the kin too much i start crying #HENCE #THIS DRAWING #i wanna draw some herb brides soon. maybe nara

[buddiesmutslut]

OKAY OKAY OKAY YOU GUYS BUT WHAT IF!!

What if, in the last few minutes of 7x10, we cut to Frank in his office. The camera is focused on him so we don’t know who’s on the couch across from him.

He’s mentioning the last time the person was there, that they were talking about intimacy & their partner and worries about the future (throwback to Athena on the first episode & Bobby in the cruise ship arc), and Frank asks the person how it’s going…

AND THEN IT PANS TO EDDIE IN THE ROOM LOOKING UNCOMFORTABLE AND UPSET AND KIND OF A MESS AND HE SAYS SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF: “I realized I couldn’t commit to Ana or Marisol in the way I thought I should because they’re not what I wanted. I don’t think I like women.” A pause. A breath. “And I think that’s because I’m in love with my best friend.”

END SEASON ROLL CREDITS YOU’LL HAVE TO COME BACK IN S8 TO SEE HOW IT PLAYS OUT.

#911 abc #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #oliver stark #ryan guzman #tim minear #Tim if you use this I will love you FOREVER #I think it would be so funny to start & end the season in Frank’s office #with characters trying to get to the nitty gritty of why they’re feeling things & what they’re ACTUALLY struggling with #idk what would lead to Eddie’s revelation in the last episode maybe another NDE #I’ve always thought that Chris was going to be the one to get them together so maybe something happens to him/he gets hurt #& whether Buck’s with Tommy or not he still comes when Chris needs him because he’s a PARENT & a PARTNER #and he already has a family and Eddie realizes then that he doesn’t need a mother figure for Chris when they already have a Buck #goddamn it i think i just had another fic idea #911 #911 s7 #911 s7 e10 spec #they haven’t even written it yet so it coULD TOTALLY HAPPEN #bisexual evan buckley #also GIVE ME EDDIE LEARNING WHAT DEMISEXUALITY IS IN THERAPY #demisexual eddie diaz #gay eddie diaz #they are in love #& I need them to realize it #the buckley diaz family #I saw someone say that Buck needed to understand his sexuality to realize his feelings for Eddie #and Eddie needed to realize his feelings for Buck to understand his sexuality & that feels VERY true to me

[francy-sketches]

lmao I found a relic of my old joanna design with emo hair (that's how her grandkids got it) but it only exists in cat form

#+ tywin and bby jaime and cersei. idk which is which #very on brand for me #omg she has it on the same side as joffrey that means shes evil. so true #it feels so wrong for her to have golden hair like she's white blonde its canon. to me #i dont think ive ever posted my kitty tywin design. kinda proud of it tbh #thank god i didnt stick with it bc im getting kinda sick of the emo fringes ngl. but i cant give them up its my brand #the way i never even finished the thing i gave them emo hair for. and probably never will #ok actually joffrey is the only one whose emo fringe served a purpouse. i just gave it to tommen and myrcella bc i thot itd be cute if they #matched #what if i did the anime thing where the eyes show thru the hair 😭

[da-proti-toku-grem]

venting in the tags again bc i'm literally shaking right now wtf

#god i hate it so much #my exams start on monday and i'm not even halfway through everything i need to know for my first exam #i've had all the holidays to study but i just can't concentrate on anything #i've been in my room all day every day (except the days i spent w family like christmas and new year ofc) #and seemingly i'm studying all day #my family thinks i spend all day studying #but the only thing i'm capable of doing most of the time is stare at the things i have to do w/o having any idea of wtf i'm doing #my brain won't shut tf up and telling me stuff that i know are not true #but i just can't #i feel like i've been having an anxiety attack non stop since this monday #not very bad most of the time but it doesn't really stop yk? #and i feel like i have a weight on my chest that i can't really take off #i've been going to therapy and we've come to the conclusion that the cause of my anxiety overall are my studies #(not counting my social anxiety that's been getting worse every day to the point that i don't even want to go out with my best friends) #which doesn't really surprise me but it's just Too Much #i just want to drop everything but since idk what i'd do if i quit this career i chose to do my exams #bc maybe they are useful if i do change my path #but i just can't find it in me to focus and study because my mind is racing all the time #i just want to lie down and cry but i don't even have the strength to do that #i just feel so weak and miserable ever since i started uni and every day it gets worse and worse #my mind just screams at me saying #'stop complaining all the time. no one cares. everyone goes through stuff like that. you're no different. stfu and study like everyone does' #and i know i could do it if i tried but i just can't #why tf is it so difficult to be normal and do what i'm supposed to do for once ffs.... #venting #maca speaks

[slityclayloam]

Sometimes I like looking up dyspraxia on google or tumblr as it makes me feel better seeing others like me, but like everytime I am violently reminded just how much it seeps into my everyday life.

Like I have decent movement, I can't remember the last time I fell over and I rarely bump into things. I can now wear turtle neck jumpers without feeling like I'm being strangled. I can type fast on my laptop and rarely have to look at the keys. I can drive, parallel park and reverse park. I can even now catch stuff thrown at me like 9/10 times! All of this is because I've been working on those skills for 19 years, both by myself and through speech and physiotherapy between the ages of 5 and 9.

But then I still have major issues organising my life, I have problems going to appointments and responding to emails. My main emotion everyday is to feel unemotional and when I do feel a real, strong emotion I have a hard time showing it, often apperaing neutral or like I don't care. I still don't fully get some social concepts. My memory can be really dodgy. My handwriting is quick and spidery as it hurts my hand to write slowly and neatly and I can't use anything but cheap gel pens as anything else will smudge. I still drop food on myself or the table daily. I'm still nervous carrying mugs of tea or coffee around, in fact I actually refuse point blank to carry trays of food in cafes, as I worry so much about dropping them and I find the weight and instability difficult to handle. I get tired easily and find it hard to stand in the kitchen and cook for more than half an hour before I just end up in pain, I can't use can openers and I have a hard time chopping food. I really like doing craft stuff with my hands but I find it so hard to continue with that craft stuff as it always comes out looking horrible and I just don't have the patience to continue.

It is hard living in a constant uphill battle, with everyone around you getting on with their lives and being so "hyper" organised. But I've managed to grow so much over the years and I hope that one day soon I can move some more of the things on my "I can't do or struggle to do right now" list, and move them into my "success" or "I can just in my own way" list.

#sorry this is a rant and a half but idk im proud of myself for doing so well #also idk i know its hard to find stuff outside of 'oh you trip over a lot' as there is so many more aspects to dcd that get looked over #and I just kinda wanna let other people know.- esp those just being diagnosed - that there are other aspects of your life it effects #dyspraxia #actually dyspraxic #long post #dyspraxic #god im only 24 but i sound more and more like an internet 'elder' christ i have matured a lot since 2019 #this feels very saccharine for me but its true i am doing better! and i want to continue to do better in my own neurodiverse way! #also apologies for spelling mistakes im also dyslexic ;)

[lustrethings]

I wonder what crossed Highbottom's mind in the end, when he saw what Coriolanus actually looked like when he embodied all the cruelty and hate of his father; like did he even realize there was a difference? That the line between the ambition, hunger (literal and not) and the purely cruel thing Coriolanus becomes, had been crossed? Did he taste some sort of bitter satisfaction, because in the end, he was right (and was it worth it, really)?

Because it mirrors what Coriolanus Snow and Katniss Everdeen had decades later, specially that last dialogue, and so I have to wonder if Coriolanus also remembered that. Being in the other side of that conversation - finally getting to kill the old man who hated him for merely existing in a way that reminds him of his failures.

#the ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus snow #casca highbottom #I'm so so so obsessed with the pattern repetition between generations when it pops up in narratives #Highbottom is one of the characters I genuinely dislike just because I just despise adults beefing with people 3 times younger than them #and the thing is that is true for Snow when he's older too #it's WILD that I only watched THG after knowing TBOSAS bc to me president Snow is a pathetically haunted old man #and I feel like that tilted the narrative in a very interesting way #the world is full of miserably haunted old man in power and they will destroy us really #and these man are creating more miserable people because that's what they do y'know #idk thinking thoughts I'm fascinated by Coryo's relationship with the people in his life all of them