I'm at the end of the world with you...
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oh my god look what i found while looking for more cats for the punkcat board
OH MY RAY TORO I LOVE IT
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"We're the Birds!" exclaims Bea.
"Of what?"
"What do you mean 'of what?' That's the name of our team."
"Sounds kind of boring if you ask me."
Bea rolls her eyes. "Well everything else was copyrighted, dollface."
I guess the birds are getting their own tag now lol.
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
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question: do ppl ACTUALLY say things they don’t mean when they’re angry? or is that just an excuse after letting something true slip? i wouldn’t ever say something i don’t mean in anger, so the concept confuses me.
but something was said to me that is bothering me, though apparently was said in an argument and wasn’t meant. but i don’t rlly believe it wasn’t like, deep down true thoughts/feelings??? anyone have any insight? anyone say things they don’t mean in anger?
EDIT: this was a hastily worded post that i didn’t expect to get notes. this is a genuine question asked in good faith that i got a lot of amazing answers to!
also re: the many ppl saying “OP is lying about not saying things they don’t mean in anger because everyone does it”— i genuinely have never done that. if i say something mean while angry, i meant it. that’s literally why i asked this question and why the concept confuses me, because i wouldn’t do something like that so i wanted perspective from people who do it. idk why y’all can’t believe that lmao not everyone is as prone to anger and outbursts
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Hey. Hey you know what would be cool and fun. First post of 2024. 1000 notes. We can do it. Yeah? Yeah??
Take a picture of my dog as an incentive
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guy who doesnt dance x guy who will drag you onto the dance floor
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Idk if there is anyone out there who needs to hear this but:
If you’re having issues with your gender, sexuality, or just identity in general… it’s ok. It’s okay to discover yourself, it’s okay to change, and it’s ok to be comfortable with who you are now. Everyone goes on their own journey at some point, you should embrace yours. If you ever worry it’s “just a phase”, that is okay. You are allowed to try new things and experiment, you are allowed to realize if what you thought about yourself wasn’t true. You are allowed to grow and you’re allowed to change.
From, An AroAce Agender person who thought they were a Straight Girl, A Gay Transmasc, A Bisexual Genderfaun, An Asexual Biromantic Demiboy, and many more.
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Something I love to think about is every iteration of Leo’s relationship with Splinter and how Splinter’s interests always define how a Leo presents himself.
I used to abide by the idea that a Leo will simply emulate his Splinter directly, and to an extent I still believe that to be the case, but moreso I think Leos have a tendency to mold themselves into what they believe is their Splinter’s ideal son - someone who embodies all the traits Splinter has explicitly shown to admire or value in a person.
Most of the time, they try to be a dutiful and honorable boy abiding by the full extent of ninjitsu teachings. Then you have Rise Splinter, who very much still has undeniable prowess in the art of fighting and being a ninja, but when it comes to how he shows his interests to his boys…one thing reigns supreme.
Acting. Shows. One liners. Flamboyance in the name of gaining an audience’s attention.
He showcases Lou Jitsu movies on repeat for the boys, passing down the morals and words from those movies to them with no small amount of pride. All while fully expecting them to respect these teachings.
So, of course, Rise Leo picks up on this. He’s a Leo, after all, as much a daddy’s boy as any other variation of him, only he clocked his father’s interests to be different than most others. He picks up on the art of showmanship, of keeping things to himself so as to be a more exciting twist later, of treating the world as a set to act in.
He’s an actor, not just because Splinter himself was one, but because Splinter likes acting and showed one particular actor (unknowingly to the boys, it was himself) as the pinnacle of all his teachings. As someone to value and admire. And even more than that - Splinter focuses on the character the actor is portraying rather than just the man himself.
And I think this is all even more interesting when taking the turtle tot short into consideration, because very, very briefly, just as with many times else throughout the series, we see how easily Rise Leo aligns with his other selves, seeming to pick up the sword easier than his brothers do their own weapons - after quoting Lou Jitsu of course. After emulating his idol - the person who his father seems to admire so much.
Point being, it’s so interesting to see how Leos tend to mold themselves in one particular way throughout every variation - that being, what their father is shown to value most in people.
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autistic people when there's collectable things with tv shows with multiple generations of them:
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okay, i have to address something that i've seen float around a bunch on tumblr, reddit, and tiktok lately when it comes to readers who are angry at fanfiction authors for not writing the content they wish to see in their fandom spaces.
...did you ever think to try and write it yourself?
this weekend i saw someone comment on the bg3 sub about how they're sick of seeing astarion fics with 'special/edgy female-centric tieflings or durges' and not much else. they were angry that 'they scroll for hours on ao3 and tumblr but only find all this oc and reader insert garbage, when it's plaguing their fandom space'.
so write the damn story you keep searching for. write what you find the fandom lacks. you take it upon yourself to curate the content you want out there.
if a writer wants to make 50 stories of the same 'special/edgy' original character smutting up a canon, they can? it's their labor of love. their passion project. a hobby. they choose to share it online for free. we are so very lucky to live in a digital age where fanfiction is so readily available, and there are millions if not billions of stories (for free!!) at your fingertips to scroll and enjoy.
i'm getting very tired of finding posts/videos of entitled readers who vocally complain about not being catered to when they themselves are not trying to contribute with the content, pairings, or topics they wish to see.
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no it's fine this mind flayer is totally my friend and 100% honest with me all the time it's ok it likes me everything's so normal
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
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