#if both of them decide they dont need normal people boundaries | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

poopingonthefloor · 1 year

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youu sshhould tell some headcanons u got for jack dave n henry if u want ofc

OK SURE! *glass shattering sound* (Some of these are not "headcanons" or are technically implied to be canon but im just going to list all of my specific perceptions regarding the character)

Long list down bellow. vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

-Dave and Jack both have adhdtism and borderline personality disorder. (((I also want to use this opportunity to apologize for any previous ignorance/rudeness i may have responded with before I'm a bitch but erm I am improving. so yeh also yeah i can definitely see Jack being autistic now too which i know i said i dont really see. it turns out my symptoms i projected onto him were also autistic symptoms so um...))) -Jack is a dog person, Dave doesnt have an animal prefrence but dogs suit him the best because he's dependent and sensitive and dogs love unconditionally, Henry has no feelings about animals however he dislikes dogs in particular. -Henry likes cartoon bears the best though. only cartoon versions.

-I imagine Dave as a child wasn't necessarily BULLIED by other orphans but he was treated poorly and excluded. Adult carers would try to befriend him but he was a "problem child" as a kid and didn't comprehend human boundaries (he never learned) so he made adults uncomfortable too. -I stole this one but if Dave was a cat he'd be a lykoi. henry would be a maine coon (jack is a default shorthair but i give him folded ears sometimes for fun) -My Dave was born purple (and also Henry is born pink) for reasons similar to Doggo's "why is henry's eyes evil" explanation. It's just different ways of their "evil" manifesting -- Dave's eyes are normal as a child however because obviously he isnt "evil" as a child, I imagine his soul is just weird and that he's never been fully normal. (because I'm not a fan of "x character if bad thing never happened" worlds where the character is basically just a normal person. Like its just more interesting if they were always an outcast/unusual from birth. Also it just makes more sense for Dave's character since he is never shown to be normal in any way even in the flipside LOL....also because Dave is often described as "not exactly human")

-Henry however just quickly grew to be jaded and resentful of anyone and anything living. Either from his dad or just that being his personality (but I prefer both). He wasn't outcast and he got along with people when he felt like it but he just hated everyone. -However I imagine Henry always had a childish side to him that enjoys more cartoon artistry and performance. -Henry and Dave gesture similarly when expressing excitement/enthusiasm, though Henry gestures very little most of the time. Henry either expresses exaggeratedly and cartoonishly (but comes across condescending) or not at all.

-Jack likes to watch TV but Dave does not and finds sitting still and watching pictures on a screen boring. (Though certain movies/shows are an exception) -Back when Dave still had simple desires/pleasures (before the lobotomy) he always wanted to have a pet but animals always hated him (because he didn't know how to handle them gently).

-Henry has no romantic or sexual desires whatsoever. He had a wife and child simply because Martha confidently expressed interest on him and he decided to lie to her. The only motive really involved was the societal standard of having a family/having a kid to continue his legacy (but henry didn't really need that to spread his didnt he lol..)

-Alongside that Dave is pansexual and Jack is bisexual (with a prefrence to men) but those are obvious -Dave appears stiff however can contort his body disturbingly (flexible), Jack is normal and appears in great condition for a corpse... (mostly due to makeup (nail polish emoji))

Ok thats all for now so I don't make this post longer than LONG. thank you for asking my headcanons though. ^__^ I love being crazy and sharing my opinions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#feel free to ask for more whenever #or if you have any suggestions you can send those (though i wont answer them unless I am particularly interested by it)#Dsaf #davesport #dave miller #jack kennedy #henry miller #william afton #old sport #dayshift at freddys #dayshift at freddy's #ask

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violentviolette · 6 months

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Jack I have a question. Is this healthy or no?

So i am a very conflict avoidant person, but also an emotional bitch about everything all the time. I have over time learned to separate my emotions from logic though, and give space to both of them. The way I do this is that if someone upsets me but it’s not a genuine issue that needs communication on, I will tell them they’re okay/i’m okay, and then will vent the emotions elsewhere where they can’t see.

What I tell them is not a lie. I usually am not actually angry or whatever, but I have to give voice to my irrational emotions somewhere or it sticks in the back of my throat for the rest of the day/night/week/month (that’s not an exaggeration)

I only ask because people don’t seem to like or understand it so i don’t know. Am I insane? Am I being toxic? Or am I just being complicated™️? I dont know anymore.

My gf recently broke up with me over it so (someone sent her screenshots of my vents) :/

oh that sucks, im sorry someone did that because that is genuinely a normal and healthy thing like, we are going to sometimes think negative things about the people we love and care about. thats SUCH a normal human thing. ppl are going to get on our nerves or do things that bug us or any number of things and it is very much perfectly healthy to recognize when those feelings are either irrational or dissproportionate to the situation or just unhelpful or even mean and unfair, and instead of bringing any of that to the other person or putting that on them, to deal with those feelings privately away from them and then move on. like that is so incredibly normal and healthy a lot of people dont like that because a lot of people have issues with boundaries and control, and think that dating or being close friends with someone means ur entitled to their every thought and that anything u dont share with them is lying or hiding things from them. this is very unhealthy and can lead to lots of different kinds of abusive and negative behavior. we are all entitled to privacy, even from the people closest to us it sucks that someone showed her what should have been private conversations and its a p big breech of trust and boundaries on the part of that person. i'd be pissed af honestly. and it's understandable that ur gf was hurt by them, but since thats exactly the reason u didnt express any of that to her, it sucks that she saw them despite ur best efforts just to be very fair i will say that it's also understandable on her end that seeing them made her change her feelings and decide to break up, depending on the exact content of the vents it might have been hard to know u ever think of her that way or upsetting to know u speak about her that way to others. not saying the things u were saying were fucked up but ive known ppl who will vent about their partners with zero consideration for them as people and say things like "fuck that stupid bitch i hope she dies" or "she's just being a dumb whore" or other like deeply desparaging statements that go beyond expressing ur feelings and into value judgement of the other person and its understandable why someone would then immediately breakup with someone who speaks about them like that, even if its not to their face. so i feel like its an important contextual footnote that depending on the content of the vents it might make the situation less u healthily expressing ur feelings elsewhere and more its just not acceptable or okay to speak about a partner this way ever, even if its not to their face but again im not accusing u of that and am giving u the good faith benifit of the doubt that u were just having normal vents, which is not only absolutely a healthy thing, but is very much needed in relationships. u and ur partner should both of have spaces and circles outside of one another where u can speak and vent freely about eachother and get support and reassurance from other people without the involvment of ur partner at all. u both have a right to privacy from one another and u dont have to tell eachother ur every thought and ur allowed to have private feelings that u dont share with ur partner, even if those feelings are negative. those are basic and core parts of a healthy relationship so ur not just being toxic or insane.

#jack.speaks #anon #healthy boundaries

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kara-does-fandom · 1 year

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Digimon Au

Going to be putting my Digimon Au stuff under that tag, most of it about my OC and her Lucemon partner. Expect retcons if you are keeping an eye on this as I sort the world out better. In this Digital World, the lands tend to have many small villages, some city hubs, and some areas claimed as a territory by stronger digimon, witt he strong digimon 'ruler' being the one who is ultimately turned to when the peace keepers cant solve a problem, or it has grown beyond normal resolution. Or you have places where its just "Oh thats Lady Devimon's lands, a lot of Dark and Virus type digimon tend to live there and we dont bother them because she doesnt like vaccine or holy types much. Territory boundaries can shift by a village's consensus that they are ok with being rulled by the neighboring territory ruler, or by said territory ruler using thier strength to force the issue.

That said lot of the Digital world is free areas, cities, and villages also not under a territory, and the Village of Beginnings is never under anyone's territory by general consensus. Still, something happened, and some digimon decided to upend the order of things, and as happens often, the mightiest beings and digimon gods of that world called in children from the human world to give aid, trusting the children's potential for growth to pair with chosen digimon and defeat the digimon threatening the stability of the world. They of course succeeded, but digimon lords and territory rulers who kept an eye on things had noticed some frankly eyebrow raising interventions when said children and thier partners got nearly killed.

Lucemon was one of these observers. He had fallen quite a bit ago, cast from the digital god's grace for questioning why some digimon were bad and deserving of being called evil and killed on sight by the more zealous of the other angels, and why some werent, of that god had made them all, in the first place. He had helped being about a peace with his wisdom, and was far too proud when he was praised by the grateful. Among other things, Lucemon is a bit more jaded now, but didnt fully turn into the tyrannical ruler that needed to be sealed away, nor put himself fully with evil forces. Instead he simply gathered his followers, and filled with spite, set about making his own kingdom. A discontent King of sorts, who grew more and more jaded and sadistic and mean spirited, but still determining to hold to the values that got him fallen in the first place. The value that all are equal beneath him, both virus and dark, vaccine and holy, and neither deserves smiting for simply existing… and that since he was damned for praise of what he had rightfully done, he should keep doing it, and thus secured himself a nice slowly expanding kingdom he was ruler to. He watched the digidestined's war, via scouts and the abilities of his underlings, and determined the humans would be victorious. So he carefully sent a support army with a general he knew could make a nice rousing meaningless speech to bump his PR up and make it seem he had always supported the humans, and sent the army on the den of evil least likely to give his own alliances repercussions. A token support as things are starting to wrap up, but Lucemon knows how important public image is.

And then he watched and waited and saw that oh, the humans can come back! The Powers That Be didnt send them home with no hope to return, and whats this? More humans? But there is no crisis, not anymore. And thus is the stage for the AU, where the crisis of the digital world happened a handful of years ago in the human world, and humans are slowly entering the digital world as some system grants digivices or people are sucked in on accident. And the digimon themselves starting the bias that humans are always good, if a bit mean sometimes, and starting to associate rank to a digimon who has a human partner.

#digimon #digimon au #Lucemon

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funkymbtifiction · 2 years

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I need to understand something, I have some friends who I really struggle with [...] I try to not make a big deal of this but it's actually a big thing for me, I don't want to be a burden and dont feel that I should always come by with problems. I might be too idealistic with how things should be and how I want things to be. I dream of having a group of people that loves me and I love them, a group of people who conquer the world. [...] Sometimes I feel like just blocking them never reach out to them again but I know as soon as they write to me I will answer, might hold some kind of irritation. As you see I struggle with boundaries. So I wonder which type would experience these kind of thoughts even enneagram if you could?

It sounds like you want your friends to “see” you, pay attention to you, and give back to the relationship as much as you put into it. I have some advice on this front, but since you asked what type this seems most like – I would say social dominant (you are all about connections, relationships, and wanting to go deep) and you are a type that moves toward other people and needs connections, so I would assume 2. Being overly-accommodating to others out of a desire to connect to them, then feeling frustrated and upset when they won’t reciprocate, while being unable to directly talk about your emotional needs is 2.

You said you do the most in every relationship, and feel upset when it’s not reciprocated. First, this is 2 trait, and second, it’s also normal human behavior. Humans make unconscious deals with each other that come with relational expectations – that friends are supposed to act like this, or respond in that way, or reciprocate, and when the other person isn’t aware of our expectations, that puts an unseen burden on them that they aren’t aware they need to fulfill. The first step is to be honest about a relationship and your needs; if you express your needs, talk about them in a mature way (not with anger, but to calmly outlay what you would like from this friendship and ask them what they want in turn, so you both understand each other)… and then they still do not try to fulfill these needs for you, THEN it is time to re-evaluate this relationship and ask whether it causes you more frustration than enjoyment. If you are always the one calling them, making time for them, and keeping the relationship afloat – it’s dead, because they aren’t participating.

Second, when someone gets romantically involved with someone else, you ARE going to be their second choice. That’s normal. It’s not fun, but a romantic/sexual partner is always more important to someone than a platonic friendship. Their brain floods with hormones that create an addictive quality to go with their attraction to their potential mate. This is why new couples get so absorbed in each other; over time, that fascination fades a little, but for her, the significant other comes first. While it’s hard to feel like you’ve disappeared from their view, that’s… normal. Some people are able to balance out casual relationships with dating, but she isn’t.

It sounds like you’ve talked to her about this, and she has made excuses and kept on doing it, so again, you need to decide if this friendship is worth the effort you are putting into it.

The other friend who is avoidant and doesn’t like to commit – the question is, why is she not just telling you when you can meet up? Does she really even want to see you? Usually the more we like someone, the faster we make time for them. The fact that she’s noncommittal about plans and vague in when you can meet means you’re not a high priority for her. I know that’s painful to hear, but your constant frustration with her means you are trying to keep a relationship going that is… dead.

You should not feel like a burden when asking for attention from your friends; friends exist to give one another what everyone needs – socialization, a free space to talk about things, and attention. The rest of the world may ignore you, but your friends should not. Is it idealistic to dream of a close group of friends who support each other? Maybe a little. In that case, you need to evaluate your expectations and weigh them against reality (the reality being, how much free time has everyone got, what is going on in their life, what demands are upon their time, and what’s reasonable to expect to receive?), but not settle for crumbs when you want a loaf of bread. Finding friends is difficult when you want something deeper than most people are willing to provide, but if you keep looking, eventually, you will find someone who wants a connection as much as you do, who is willing to make time for you.

If I had to guess, I would assume you are an FJ 2.

#question #mbti #enneagram #friendships

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sometipsygnostalgic · 3 years

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I wrote a super long analysis on Finn’s love life on reddit for... some reason

Starts here:

Yeah, his life has some tough but important lessons.

The first was his immature but adorable crush on an older lady. Pen said this was meant to reflect crushes people have on teachers, specifically inspired by Lisa Simpson having a crush on her teacher.

When Finn got older, and after the Too Young scenario, Pb started to get more uncomfortable with Finn's crush (don't ask me to explain her psychology when de-aged) and she started pushing him away. I think she saw his feelings as getting a little too mature and simpy (the latter being a big issue in season 5b).

Finn didn't understand how big of an obstacle his age really was, he didn't like the idea of being turned down because he's too young. He wanted to prove he was a hero, and all grown up! Anyway he completely broke down over being pushed away, a relatable feeling to many.

When Jake drags Flame Princess into his life his less childlike, more teenage emotions find a good place to focus themselves. FP is in a similar place, a teen who is just coming to understand feelings of romance and is trying to figure out her place in the world. Their feelings for each other, as a first relationship, feel very intense. After all it's their early steps into adulthood.

But like all teens, they hurt each other. Namely, Finn gets carried away when chasing... uhhh.... the pleasant dream side of his relationship (for lack of better words) and he allows FP to fight an innocent man to the death to chase his high. Finn's immaturity came from his new adolescent emotions and it would continue that way through the breakup. It was his first relationship with the most intense feelings and he would feel empty without it.

The very first thing he did: Rebound back to PB and try to chase his original crush, who had never outright broken things off. Pb was severely unimpressed by this because Finn was acting like a simpy childish brat and not like the fantastic ally she was hoping he'd become. For the rest of the show she'd no longer humor or ignite his crush. It would take a while before they could reach agreeable terms on their friendship. Because Finn wasn't himself around Pb for season 5b he also failed to act as a check on her behaviour, which was left to the far more mature Flame Princess next season.

After chasing PB failed him, Finn tried to make himself more desirable to other princesses by saying he wanted to focus on adventures (Slime Kingdom ep), and then kissing eVERY LAST ONE (Breezy). But Finn found that rebounding on dozens of ladies didn't fill that empty void inside of him, it didn't reignite that intensity.

In the end of the ep, he had a vision during Breezy's love song, which touched his heart. After this he felt reinstated as a hero, and like he was able to open his heart again. Yeah, I don't get it either, but I think the point is that when he reached his all time low he was ready to experience rebirth and move on with his life.

You could already see remarkable progress by The Pajama War. Finn was finally ready to speak to PB, adult to adult. He was able to be a supportive friend and confidant to her, and he was able to tell her about some of his problems too. Finn's crush on her would be referenced later on as being an old wound, he would still think of her whenever he needed the guiding voice of a goddess, but there was this new perception of her as a peer - a normal person trying to live her best life under bizarre circumstances, just like him. He'd get on first name terms by Stakes, and in Dont Look he saw her as a "teen heartthrob", representing the dissonance between his vision of her as a friend-peer and as an attractive goal to aspire to. (He wanted to be as tall as her in the start of that ep) Finn would later reflect on how this relationship had changed in Elements, and his ability to come to terms with their new friendship would help him douse the flames of war that nearly led him to kill her.

Then Finn in season 7 worked to make things up with Flame Princess. The pain was still there but he worked to make friends with her too. She reached out to him first, having been waiting for him to come around to this for a long time!!! And in Elements, Finn reflects on this too - the amount of trust he had to rebuild with Flame Princess in order for them to become friends again. He did get too carried away and become a fire person, partially because of that old pain, but he has matured so much. In Son of Rap Bear, they are hanging out completely naturally and carefree.

Finn's relationship with Huntress Wizard would not be wrapped in the intensity and heartbreak of his previous relationships. They established mutually agreed distance between themselves, whereby they would be non-committed and get to know each other over time. This was a very comfortable adult dynamic for them both. It remains to be seen if theyre still on-again off-again in the future. I would wager yes, but there is no heartbreak involved in this! It is as they want it!

Where I am going with this is Finn had to go through a trial and error and a lot of pain to become the emotionally mature and intelligent character he is. Finn went through a similar growth many other boys will go through in their life, and they can take a shining inspiration from where he ended up - A good trustworthy person who works hard to maintain his friendships and is able to decide on comfortable boundaries in his relationships, despite many years of struggling with this.

#adventure time #smokeybear #fubblegum #finntress #finn the human

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virtual-luvr · 4 years

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˗ˏˋMary, Midari, and Runa with an s/o who is a ghostˎˊ˗

Pronouns: gender neutral; they/them

Warnings: cussing. mentions of death, murder, suicide and a g>n-

Note: request by @massivewolfpandaknight thank you so much i love writing for kakegurui especially these girls!! Also marys is longer then all the other ones sorry😔 i tried to have more fun with this request too so i hope its still good :(

-----------

Mary Saotome

First off, you met because of Yumeko

She was dragging you all over the school and at one point it was pissing you off so much you just decided to work your ~ghostly~ magic and get out of her grip

As shes lecturing you on acting normal, you're just staring at her with a black expression

"I dont see the problem"

"The problem is that we dont want everyone knowing your DEAD" she says ending her sentence with a sinister smile

It lowkey creeped you out

So you let out a sigh and give her a, "fine but dont drag me around like you did at our old school"

You actually died at the old school you used to go but you didn't have to stick at the school, you could go where ever

There weren't any boundaries lets say

So when Yumeko moved schools she dragged you with her and here you were now, pretending like you were still alive and not dead at all~

While you both were in deep conversation Mary came barging in asking "who in the hell is this bitch"

Sighing at her rude attitude you flick her forehead, your cold finger almost giving her a brain freeze and she stood in shock for a second.

"Who do you think you are" she says crossing her arms

What were you supposed to say to that, "a ghost???"

You mimic her actions and words in a high pitch voice

Yeah your relationship didn't start on the right foot

But hey after that whole meeting, you and Mary spent quite a long time together

Even though you fought a few times since her ego was so massive at the start of your relationship

But after a while she started opening up to you more and being nicer

Even going as far to be more affectionate to you and Yumeko noticed fast

Seeing as you were, very, oblivious

And didn't think anybody wanted to date you because you're a ghost, you thought nothing over her new actions towards you

At one point Yumeko just grabs you, brings you into a room, and tells you the truth

"Mary likes you, are you stupid? Oblivious or something? Go get her"

And as soon as you were in the room, you were out

As you stumbled out the door, Yumeko walking out calmly after you, Mary finds you

She looks between you and Yumeko, rasing her brow

Before leaving Yumeko says "no, nothing happened" winking at Mary and running away

You're still lowkey shocked at what Yumeko said

If you were alive, you'd probobly be blushing right now

"Heyyy Mary"

"What was that all about?" She asks, her cheeks puffed up a tiny bit

"Oh, it was nothing we were just talking"

"Didn't seem like just talking.." She mutters under her breath but you caught it

"Are you jealous??" You snicker out, getting closer to Mary step by step

As you walk closer and closer you basically have her pinned to the wall, blushing she just looks away from you

You smirk and give her a cheek a peck

She looks back with a shocked look on her face before giving you a smirk too

"Idiot, you missed"

Y'all kiss after that-

Honestly, she really doesent care that you're, dead-

She really likes when you pat her head or scratch her scalp since your fingers are cold

Flicking her forehead actually became a habit too-

You also have scheduled gambles and she gets mad at you if you say no sometimes

Midari Ikishima

To be honest, at first you wanted nothing to do with Midari

But she just kept on talking to you and annoying you

And even though the memory is blurry and hazy somewhere in between begging you to gamble with her and her being by your side twenty four seven

You started to get less annoyed by her

In the midst of starting a friendship with that girl you told her you were actually

And when you saw that glint in her eyes you got w o r r i e d

She almost tried to commit not alive on the spot

You screamed

Your reflexes were good enough and you took the g>n out of her hands

You tried to push her away but she fell on top of you in the process

Knowing her you knew she was going to say something that will not do good for you

So you panic and accidently go through the floor

You can hear her hit the floor even through the thick floor, it made you laugh but you wont tell her that

When you go back into the room shes actually knocked out

Did she really hit the floor that hard-

Either way you grab her unconscious body and take care of her until shes back on her feet

For once in your (after) "life" you see Midari calm

It was a very weird sight

She made you gamble with her once too

Never again.

You somehow one and she got too excited waiting for whatever punishment was going to happen next, she was on top of you at one point

You've also caught her in...compromising positions and you've ran out of that situation as fast as you could

She dreams of the day she can actually get you alone without you running away

It happened once, and that was the day you guys actually got together

She cornered you and you forgot all about your ghostly abilities for once

She pushes up to you and puts her face right in front of your face

"Why do you panic so much"

..what in the hell-

Since she's only met with your silence and your eyes aren't even meeting hers she gets a little impatient

She bonks you on the head with her g>n, not very lightly may i add

And as you open your mouth to protest she takes this opportunity to kiss you. After all shes been crushing on you for so long, not like you noticed though

You thought she chased everyone around

Im not going to act like the kiss went too smoothly, your teeth crashed with hers before you pulled away to give her an actual kiss

You grab her chin and give her a proper kiss this time, her g>n making a soft thud when it fell on the ground but you didn't pay much mind to it

After that she tries to kiss you as much as possible, sometimes more then kissing even when there are people around

Shes like one of those kids you have to put the animal backpack leashes, yeah you always need to check up on her before she does a disaster

When you joke about it she doesn't take it as a joke

So next time you see her at school with a leash in her hands you run away immediately

Runa Yomozuki

You guys met when she caught you trying to watch a gambling fight and didn't recognize you as a student there.

You guys met eyes and you just sat there like, "...hi :D"

She immediately starts questioning you, lollipop still in her mouth and you could barely understand half of the words she was saying-

When she notices you don't even care and you're just staring at the candy in her mouth she sighs and grabs another lollipop from her pockets

She hears you softly mutter, "i haven't had these in ages", shes a little confused

You just look up innocently and say, "oh im dead", when she gives you a questioning gaze

You're surprised when she doesn't start doubting your words-

She just goes "oh, makes sense" and walks away

You just sit there like, ?????

Also you might not have any taste buds

But you're still addicted to those lollipops

Anyways after that you make it your goal to annoy her as much as possible

And you do

For a few months actually

She usually shuts you up with a lollipop sometimes you annoy her by making the lollipop pass right through you

At one point she takes on a different method to shut you up and kisses your cheek, you sat there for a second and malfunctioned

She giggles at your reaction and does it a lot more

Doesent matter how many times she does it, you never get used to it

Your relationship kind of just blossomed

You guys didn't even notice any of it until one day you were staring at each other and kissed and you both just went "okay well we're dating now"

Everyone else barely knew about you so when they see Rona and you just kissing they're so confused

Rona doesn't even explain and you don't bother too either

She finds it funny

She giggles a little when you give her kisses since your lips are just as cold as you are

She now has to get even more candy since you both are obsessed and you steal her candy from her too

You pay back in kisses though

She likes it that way😌

She also likes to join you in scaring the students of the school

You guys do it in various ways but there are some that you like more

For example, sometimes she starts talking to someone and youll randomly appear right behind her and somehow that scares some of the students to death

Another one of your favorites is hiding behind a corner together and just waiting for people nearby and then yelling in their faces

Usually she goes first and after the person has calmed down you chime in and yell in their face too

[1699 words; aug/10/2020]

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raavenb2619 · 3 years

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Hello...Im aroace aaaand just wanted to ask if you have some experience with squishes and qpr's? If so, do you think I can call whatever-the-fuck-Im-feeling-for-my-bff a squish if I have all the "symptoms" of being in love except that I dont think I wanna date him? Like I keep imagining if we kissed and blablabla but the label "boyfriend" is definitely something I Don't Want Even With Him. I just want our regular friendship but...a lil gayer. Is this normal??? Is this a squish or am I in love?

Hm. Concrete labels can definitely be helpful when you’re trying to communicate your feelings and experiences, but they’re certainly not a requirement. If you and your friend can reach a mutually satisfactory agreement with regards to activities you want to do and boundaries that need to be respected without using specific labels, then any labels you might later adopt would probably just to explain your interpersonal dynamic to other people. Add in the potentially nebulous difference between romantic, platonic, and alterous attraction, and it’s possible that not using labels might actually be the best thing for you and your friend.

On the other hand, I recognize that labels can also help people understand their own feelings and experiences, so here’re some labels and the ways in which I understand them.

Romantic attraction is a kind of interpersonal attraction wherein a person wants to perform and receive gestures specifically in a romantic context with another specific person. Common romantically-coded behaviors and gestures include kissing, hugging, cuddling, dating, marriage, raising children, and more, but the intention (or lack thereof) of romance and romantic context takes precedence over whether an activity is commonly assumed to be exclusively romantic.

Platonic attraction is a kind of interpersonal attraction wherein a person wants to become friends (or become better friends) with another person. Someone who is platonically attracted to someone might want to perform gestures that can overlap with romantic attraction, like cuddling, hugging, or holding hands, but because the lack of romantic intent, might classify the same behaviors as evidence of platonic attraction instead of romantic attraction.

Alterous attraction is an (intentionally vague) kind of interpersonal attraction that can’t be classified as wholly platonic or wholly romantic. It often has some nebulous overlap with both while being distinct. In the rare circumstances where I’ve personally experienced alterous attraction, it was kind of like starting at platonic attraction, and then moving in the direction of the vague idea of romance and infatuation, rather than moving in the direction of actual romantic attraction.

Queerplatonic relationships are a kind of non-romantic relationship that “queer” the boundaries of what’s societally expected/acceptable in non-romantic (i.e. platonic) relationships, especially when it comes to commitment, affection, and intimacy. QPRs don’t have a set mold, but queerplatonic partners (QPPs) might decide to buy a house together, or raise children together, or always go on vacation together, or file taxes together, etc.

#ask #anon #original #questioning #questioning attraction #questioning romantic attraction #questioning platonic attraction #questioning alterous attraction #qpr #queerplatonic relationship #queerplatonic #queer #Anonymous

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flamediel · 3 years

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i feel the need to get this off my chest but it kinda grinds my gears when ppl assume the age 17 is like a grace period or something, even tho ur clearly still a minor. anything under 18 is still a minor. that’s just how it works. end of discussion

YEP!! YOU ARE NOT AN ADULT AT 17.

Look. Ik minors can have sex. Ik youre exposed to sexual media everywhere. But heres the thing. Im not comfortable w you consuming the sexual media I create. Riverdale writers can decide its ok to show 16yos having explicit sex and rate it for teens, but I only want 18 year old and older to read my NSFW content. I dont care what the legal age is in your country. I dont care of you think you're mature for your age. If you cannot accept that I don't consent to you reading my content, if you don't block the smut and NSFW tags, YOU ARE NOT MEANT TO BE IN ADULT SPACES.

What you don't understand is that the people telling you not to read smut were once kids who read smut, and went through the process of unlearning the fucked up shit adult fandom communities impart on kids. Some things I personally remember having to deal with:

Sex makes weird noises. It just does. Its awkward and strange and you need to accept that its gonna happen. Assuming it won't fucks w your self esteem

Having hair is normal. Literally most people ive been w do not care, and if a man does hes weird

Kinky sex isn't the norm. Its normal to like it but PLS dont start experimenting unless you're in a stable relationship and trust the person.

Things like choking, spanking, ropes, etc can cause serious damage. I have a friend who got her wrist fucked from handcuffs that were too tight. Make sure the person youre doing it w knows what they're doing, and if youre gonna tie someone up FIGURE OUT HOW. W choking you can't block the air passages or its not gonna be fun. Basically there's a ton that can go wrong and if your partner doesn't have experience and hasn't done the research and wants to try this thats a red flag

Literally if you're trying something new sit down w them and discuss it in detail first so you both know what youre comfy w and whats off limits and ALSO to make sure they know how not to hurt you.

Its super unlikely you'll be able to deep throat the first time and thats fucking normal take your time

If you have a vagina it is not common to be able to cum from penetration alone. More often than not you'll need clitoral stimulation as well

In fact most men don't know how to make a woman cum regardless of their experience. If he's not asking what you like chances are its gonna be shit. Literally tell him what to do if he's not doing it right and stop it if youre not comfortable or happy.

If you have a penis you might cum super fast. Which means if your partner has a penis they'll probably cum before you unless there's been a lot of foreplay

Cumming at the same time is not normal and not doing it isn't a moral failing just make sure to help the other person finish.

The first time you have penetrative sex its gonna feel weird. Esp if the biggest thing thats ever gone in there is a tampon or your fingers, shits gonna hurt. It's not necessarily gonna feel good. You will v likely need to be fingered to build up to the bigger size, esp if theyre big.

Even when you've had sex a lot it can still hurt to have smth inside you. My friend has been dating the same dude for two years now and it still hurts unless there's lots of lube and foreplay. Its normal.

Speaking of lube, USE LUBE. bitch idc how much of a wap you have, unless hes already made you cum you really need it to lessen friction. Use a lube thats water soluble so it doesn't fuck w the condom

Oh yeah, condoms. Unless you've both been tested and aren't fucking anyone else, use one. I dont care if youre on birth control. I dont care if you like it raw. If you don't want an sti USE A DAMN CONDOM.

Also, condoms dont just apply to penetrative sex. You can use them on your hands as gloves or as a dental dam when hes going down on you. The risks of spread is lower but not zero, and its better safe than sorry.

Also use them if youre having anal for the love of God PLS.

Big dick doesn't equal good dick, its about how they use it. If they don't know how to hit the right spots it doesn't matter how big you are. For some people big dicks cause pain actually esp if there's no foreplay.

Overstimulation doesn't always feel good like eventually it can hurt and not in a good way. Dont feel pressured to do it bc its supposed to be fun.

Similarly if you dont like being edged thats fine too.

In general just bc you like smth in fic does NOT mean you're gonna like it irl so like. Dont force anything. And make sure you can always back out when you want

Also feel this goes without saying but RESPECT THEIR BOUNDARIES TOO. This shit goes both ways even if youre the 'sub'

Masturbation can help you figure out what you like but its completely different when there's someone else there bc comfort is a huge part of arousal.

And lastly, you don't have to do ANYTHING until you're ready so don't rush into it bc I swear sex isn't worth it

A good source of sex ed is scarleteen pls go there and NOT tumblr for sex ed

Everyone feel free to add and minors pls dont read adult fic I beg you.

#cnco #cnco smut #asks #sex ed #scarleteen

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aprito · 3 years

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hello <3 since i got these asks at the same time i decided to combine my thoughts on them in this post. yet another annoying sjw essay from yours truly on this blog

before i get into these i think i need to preface why im like. i guess overly hyperfocused on a certain unproblematic base (same age au / platonic canon) for them and avoid the ped0philic content like the plague lol

tw for pedophilia ment, rape ment if that makes you squicky. ALSO THIS IS LONG AND RAMBLY

as i’ve mentioned a couple times already, ive been into the ship since i was 12, back when it was very very common to not only post untagged (nsfw) canonverse content of the two in writing and in drawing but also non con and the like, so you can imagine how bad my first impression online was. thinking back on it ...as a child i found it disturbing but didnt really register how problematic it really was?? (i know, but i also lived in the middle of nowhere and had no one explain this to me)

skip to 2014 aka me coming back to naruto at 17ish and i had kinda become hyper aware of the fact that there was an increasing amount of people online who had come forward with explaining how fictional problematic content, mostly pedophilia, had been used to groom them into starting relationships with adullts. it was also a time where a lot of people didnt believe these victims, not registering how common it was for minors to be online friends with adults who had no boundaries and no qualms exposing them such content. not gonna get into my personal life here but i was lucky to not having gone through this myself. like... it kinda was my first time truly realising how fiction can EASILY be used to manipulate others irl (and yes i will not argue this, if you dont think fictional media can form and manipulate people’s opinions on attitudes, countries, cultures and virtues, pick up a book about the effects of propaganda media at least once please)

i, being young, still liking the dynamic but not really the romance, would point this out here and there in the fandom and get into fights with grown adults in their mid 20s who assumed i automatically hated the ship(s) and tried to restrict their freedom of speech or whatever, heard everything from the “age of consent doesnt exist in naruto” to the “sasori looks like a child what does it matter” despite people clearly playing on him being older and experienced. it made me so upset that people were just consuming all this content uncritically and exposing children to it tbh?? not really just sos but a lot of minor/adult ships in naruto in general. and thats where i sat down and thought, i do not want to be a grown adult talking down to children that point out how unsafe the fandom is. theyre absolutely right in drawing these boundaries and calling out adults who defend the uncritical consumption and creation of this content. i do not want to consume or create content that predators could use to groom minors, and i absolutely do want to let younger people in fandom know that i am respecting their comfort zones and want them to have a safe and fun experience. after all, naruto is not an adult show and i think a lot of people forget that!!!! i am not perfect in that regard but its something that i, at the age of 23, am very passionate about and strive towards to.

and i guess thats where same age au was born for me and i have been sticking to it ever since.

so finally we can move to the first question

aside from the fact that we both dont like canon sos, i dont think it would work out even if i wasnt prejudiced to it anyways. in all honesty, 35 year old canon sasori is not a redeemable character to me, given the fact that he’s easily amongst the cruelest villains in naruto (torturing and killing and taxiderming people for his own fun personal gain, never for a goal that served anyone but himself. how do you redeem having over 300 corpses in your backpack that you felt absolutely no remorse for killing). sasori was legit one of the only cruel villains that didnt had someone else pull the strings, which sends a clear message on kishi’s part, who absolutely loves to redeem villains LOL.

being that old, he obviously had already been very manifested in what he believed in, even if it was shakey, to the point where the first crack in that world view (sakura and chiyo protecting each other) immediately had him give up on his life all together. that, in my opinion, is not a man who’s going to know what healthy relationships would look like, regardless of it being romantic or not. 35 year old sasori to me has the same appeal as an expired can of tuna and he’s probably very happy 6 feet under. he’s supposed to be a failed gaara in that sense that he had no one to look out for him and therefore was never going to experience anything but a bad ending in life. its fine that hes dead honestly, it wraps up his short character development the best IMO.

adding to that, seriously, sakura was obviously interested in knowing why he was that way, and called him out for being seriously fucked in the head, but it’s weird to me that people assume she had any interest in actively rehabilitating him, let alone starting a serious romantic relationship with him. sakura who’s not only very, uhm, immature and straight forward when it comes to her romantic viewpoints also, as a big bootlicker, wouldnt soil her standing in the village by starting anything with a disgraced and far too gone criminal like sasori. shipping that version of sasori with sakura intimately is still going to set her up for a huge power imbalance that would be difficult to handle imo, even if she was the one in the fight ultimately exerting her power over him. i would still look at it and think damn she deserves better than having to play therapist for man like that lol.

additionally, even if you ignored all of this, you cant really ignore that sasori had already known her as a child, and that had been his first and most impactful impression of her. i dont think that sasori would look at 35 year old sakura and see her as a grown woman and not the little green girl she was in the fight. plus, you easily fall into predatory comparison territory between the “childish” and “womanly” and i have seen way too often in fic just being boiled down to her now being fuckable. a lot of of ships do this and i would just like to remind yall thats it not normal for adults to want to start relationships with children they have seen grown up or known as a child when they themselves were fully grown adults. therefore, maybe if sakura hadnt met sasori before it would be less of a problem? but that also obviously defeats the point of the dynamic and the reason he died in the first place. so yeah, it sounds kind of doomed especially if you were to make it romantic.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE SECOND QUESTION

let me preface this that im not fundamentally against age gaps, even if im not super interested in it. after all, colorblind had a 5 yr age gap (with sakura being 21), even if, say, i wrote similar fics today i probably would make it smaller lol. i think it can be handled well if both parties have enough life experience to deal with it, and the author is cautious of where the age gap starts, i think a 10+ year age gap would be fine in a scenario where the younger party (i guess sakura) was at least 25-27ish, meaning she has completed most of her most formative life stages and probably had been in relationships before, meaning she would be able to handle it without having to fear a huge power imbalance. the older the younger party is the less the age gap is going to matter tbh .TsukiHoshino and AngelOfDeath10 both handle age gaps in their fics really well imo, so i do not mind reading about them.

unfortunately, a lot of people in this fandom think making sakura barely "”””legal””””” (18, not even 20 which is hilarious to me because the source material is obviously japanese) because they both cannot stand her being past her “prime years” of being young fertile and fuckable to much older men as well as thinking a 20 year old is automatically old enough to handle that type of relationship. ive seen a lot of unironic takes that believe it will absolve them of callout posts if they throw around age of consent and “shes 18 now suckers!!!” enough lmfao. absolutely hilarious. aging a minor up without aging the adult down seriously reeks of predatory “cant wait until youre 18″ narratives and thats why i find it similarly disturbing as straight up pedo shipping.

ultimately, sasosaku is and will always be a inherently problematic ship in canon, which is why i think it should always be handled a little more responsibly in fandom spaces, ignoring or outright excusing the main problem factor, which is sasori, isnt going to convince anyone that the dynamic in itself is well written and interesting enough to explore in aus, like giving sasori the redemption most of us wanted him to have by aging him down to a point in time where he was still realistically going to allow being positively influenced, similar to gaara.

so really, what i think is well handled age gap and how most people handle age gap in the naruto fandom are two different worlds at times lol

tl;dr

canon shippers have never been anything but gross when i was younger and i didnt wanna be like that, even if youre “smart”enough to differenate, actual creeps dont really care and might use your content to blur the lines, sasori isnt rly redeemable so romantic canonverse realistically wouldnt make much sense and is still iffy, age gaps are fine if they are handled well, but given that the dynamic doesnt really need the age gap to still work im not that invested on making that an essential part of my shipping experience.

thank you for reading and hope this makes sense!

#nonitxt #meta #another hot take from me #but seriously if you're offended over these #unfollow me lol idc #defending predatory content is not a hill im gonna die on in this life

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ccsthemovie2 · 3 years

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trick or treat 2021 letter

DEAR MY KIND AND HARDWORKING GIFTER,

hi there my ao3 is zagspect and thanks in advance for making me a piece of fic or art in this fun little exchange! heres some food for thought to munch on.

i loooove slice of life, character moments, outsider povs that make things we’re used to in canon seem absurd or funny or weird or scary, humor, horror-in-fluff’s-clothing, sweetness-found-in-horror, and also just plain sweetness. feel free to get weird or experimental with your writing if you think the moment calls for it :3 im not really requesting anything sexy-nsfw in this exchange so pls keep things down to a nice pg13 (high-rated gore for higurashi work is an exception, lol, like, it’s when they cry. that’s just part of the deal.)

🌸✨

cardcaptor sakura (trick or treat!)

clear card manga spoilers are fine with me! manga and anime canon are both fine, and mashing them up is cool too. no aus past that though, please!

clow reed

the big man himself! scare me with his his manipulative tendencies, his eternal pushpull fear of both being eternally relied on and being no longer needed, the way he treats other people, especially people who love him. (yue! the madoushi! i am into both of these being unrequited romantically on his end, but he’s not gonna just gonna tell them that, you think he’s straightforward like that?) what’s daily life like in the clowse? creating a new card, what’s that like? does everybody get along with the normal, non magic neighbors?

yelan li

what’s up with her??? what’s her relationship with her children like, what are the responsibilities of a magician family’s head, how weird is it that clow is kind of back all of a sudden, what’s her thoughts on sakura? fleshing out a minor character is always fun :]

eriol & li

okay, so, we get to the end of the original series. syaoran returns to hong kong. ????????. syaoran is in cahoots with eriol to (vaguely alluding to cc spoilers in case you haven’t caught up in the manga), do some pretty serious magic behind sakura’s back.

so, like... what went down in the ?????

kero & sakura & yue

they’re FAMBILYYYYY. magic found family i love them so much. show me the depths of their care for her, and hers for them, the way there’s absolutely some ice to break with yue but when he gets loyal he will DIE for you, the way sakura can mend the rift between kero and yue, the way the two of them are balancing this wonderful openness and equality with oh yeah, she’s eleven, we kind of said some seriously dark stuff in the haze of sleepover talk didn’t we?

ruby & spinel & eriol

pre-canon or mid-canon or post-canon! what’s the dynamic between them, a quiet night in, a day out telling people that you’re connected by whatever lie you find funniest. going to tomoeda and having to pretend youre a kid, a teen, and a cat, but goddd you could all go for an elegant and adult glass of wine right now (especially the cat). what horrors are lurking in that house from the clow era that no one cares to address? like emotionally and also because it’s a magic wizard house with magic stuff in it.

touya/yukito/yue

i am here for any and all angles of this ship- all together, your touyukis, your yuetouyas, your yuekitos if you wanna get in on a rarely seen angle! (but pls have touya and/or yukito be 18+ at a time where yue shows interest in them). i wanna see the way they interact! how they deal with, you know, the everything! pre-relationship pining, going on a date, touya and yukito in college wondering if they’ll end up having different majors, different paths for the first time. yukito seeing yue on video for the first time (OH NO HES HOT), yukito and yue figuring out internal boundaries, etc etc etc.

naoko and touya

the girl who loves ghosts and the guy who sees (or, used to see), ghosts! does she follow him to one of his haunts (pun intended)? does he have to go to her for ghost sensing advice now that he’s a regular old human? does he have to save her from a ghost that means her harm? how excited is she to tell sakura about the COOL GHOST I MET WITH YOUR BROTHER OMG U DIDNT TELL ME HE LIKES GHOSTS??? and how much does sakura wanna sink into the ground lololol

🌹⚔️

revolutionary girl utena (trick or treat!)

ohh, what a place of scary happenings! tell me a fairytale, even if it’s not such a good idea. pre, mid, postcanon, im fine with it all. feel free to weave a web with easter egg references to any other media you feel is right for the moment- utena is all about Genre and Stories!

shadow girls

i love them i love their whole everything. i wanna see a play, i wanna see them interact with other characters! what if they do a play AS the other characters, ooooh.

anthy/utena

THE GIRLS WHO INVENTED LOVE THEMSELVES. ive read a thousand stories of them finding each other and it never gets old. id love to read about their life post-ohtori, especially the not-so-happily-ever-after parts- the old wounds reopening, the fights, and how they work through it, wont lose each other ever again.

saionji/touga

what’s spookier than toxic masculinity? both of them miserably stuck, saionji obsessed with touga, touga believing anyone who believes in friendship is a fool. bro we are taking shirtless pictures among 500 potted cacti....why does my heart hurt..... oh shit its the cactus i rolled onto it ow ow

nanami

nanami being nanami! she’s got no clue how to act ever, she’s desperate, she’s trying SO HARD. i’d love to see a nanami finally getting out of there, too. leaving home with nothing but the clothes on her back, diamonds in her necklace, and a wheeled suitcase of raw eggs.... (crunch crunch crunch)

🎲🗓

higurashi when they cry (trick or treat!)

i’m a gou/sotsu enjoyer and gonna prompt about that a lot but original flavor is, of course, great too. pls dont go too heavy on info outside the main 8+saikoroshi+gou/sotsu? i haven’t read those. ive read umineko+ciconia though so references there are fine :3

rena/mion/keiichi

college days! getting together, crushing on each other, poly relationship figuringouts? dates that are just club meetings with kissing and all the ridiculousness of that.

satoko/rika

gou/sotsu era TOXIC LESBIAN EPIC MOMENTS!!!!!! obsession and desperation and satoko putting all her emotional eggs in rika’s basket no matter how angry she is with her, rika’s love for satoko across 100 years and how that all crumbles (to satoko) in the face of rika’s Cool School. rika wanting satoko to go to school with her so so so bad. deep pain and misunderstandings and acting badly (like, murder badly), and then, we hope, atonement and something new beginning? i love character moments where someones so obsessively in love it feels like its eating them up inside.

rena & satoko

look, rena’s smart and really pays attention to how people feel and i think, before or after satoko becomes a looper but especially after, she would make an attempt to have a heart to heart with satoko. and satoko, as a looper, will politely brush her off, will go you dont know me you can’t affect me. youre just a chess piece. when i get to the miracle world where rika loves me, ill listen to you. this you is here to die, or to kill.

eua

oh eua is just using satoko up like a bar of soap and it takes satoko way, way too long to realize. evil girltalk/crush advice from the witchmom perhaps?

shion

meakashi made me LOVE her. internal shion moments, perhaps? shion being an empath (decides what ppl are thinking and instantly believes it)? shion in gou-era wanting to talk to satoko about st. lucia’s, but she never shows up to dinner?

okay i think that’s all for now!!! thanks and i hope you have fun!!!

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spoonless-sunflower · 3 years

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Intimacy has been so confusing ever since this whole thing. Some days I'm terrified of letting her go. Some days I viscerally cannot handle her doing stuff that used to be normal like touching my stomach or legs.

In a lot of my reading, I learned that after an affair it's less of whether or not you're choosing to end your relationship and more that your current relationship is automatically ended..and now you have to choose whether or not to start a new one with the same person.

This is starting to make a lot of sense to us both. As we continue to dig deeper into the issues that caused the affair, not only do I feel like there are moments where I dont quite know Leo, Leo isnt quite sure she knows herself either.

She's sobering up and realizing how bad her dependency on romantic relationships has been the past decade. She basically hasnt been single the entire time. She hasn't had a moment to get to know herself or try to like herself.

The space recently is also making her finally realize how horribly codependent we've been ever since the pandemic. I've realized this ages ago and have been trying to branch out. Make friends. Make plans without her. Spend more time on hobbies etc. But she would get terrified of the idea of such things (she'd obviously let me do them. She's not controlling. But she'd get so scared. And she wouldn't try to branch out herself.)

Now that we've had space and even considered breaking up, she's realized she has NO friends here. She's been hanging out with mine the whole time. She's been so scared to connect with people because she's aware of her addiction and she's afraid of herself. I was surprised when she said that. I had no idea why she was putting up a wall ever since we moved. It all made so much sense now.

But she's also learning that the wall isnt helpful. Avoiding people forever isnt going to fix things. She's going to keep attending the SLAA meetings and learning and growing. And I'm going to keep doing my best to learn too and to understand as best I can.

In the meantime, I've moved some of my things into the office. We've decided that this is the start of our "new relationship" and that we need to slowly come back together again.

It was really sad coming to that conclusion. We both nearly cried when I moved my nightstand. At the same time, we were both able to enjoy each other's company a lot more tonight. We had new boundaries in place and new hope going forward. Things are not the same and they are not going to be the same and that is ok. But I'm looking forward to growing together and seeing what we become this time. I'm sure it will be something wonderful 🌻

#sunbun talks #q

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urmomification · 3 years

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SWAG ANOTHER DREAM SMP AU FIC IDEA THAT ILL NEVER WRITE POG

this is a very long post please im so sorry my brain it just

(tw for like slight possession n shit)

(sorry its all jumbled i write all of these in discord to my friend and copy paste them here please if u have questions ask me im always willing to talk abt this shit please it haunts me)

(context: i saw a tiktok abt the hc that both dream and techno are gods of some sort bc theyre mentioned in the tales of the smp by karl a time traveller and my brain just ran w it)

going back to the techno and dream are gods thing right so dream is a vessel for the god dream xd (??? work in progress youll know what im talking about at some point its really funny tho uve def seen clips of it) and he was possessed?? by the god after the server started (when he started going from super friendly with everyone to control/power hungry) when he started sacrificing everything for power so no one could have power over him? that was the god making him do it bc the god was terrified of not being in control since theyd lost it all to techno in their past. thats why we never see dream and techno fight and why we see dream extend help and support to him at times as well as respecting his boundaries and such bc theyre scared of techno (again w the best of 10 duel reference, techno killed the god in a past life which is why the god has been forced to use a human vessel to get anything done on the mortal plane) but when something that powerful spends pretty much any amount of time in something mortal and mundane like a person, the host body starts to change (hence the mask) i like to think that the god would be akin to that of a biblically correct angel?? like the ones w multiple eyes n shit yk so after time things start to happen to normal dreams body he gets extra sets of eyes and he gets taller and overall his body seems just Too Small for whatevers inside of him and thats why he (hc) started wearing the mask in the first place he knew something was wrong w him but he didnt want anyone to know even tho they would most likely help him he was ashamed that he was different in the first place so he started wearing the mask once the other eyes showed up. and i think that the god would talk to dream similarly to how technos voices work yk? except its just the one voice instead of many many small ones. and again with the mask thing when he lost to tommy and they took him in, part of his mask broke to the point where u could see just a bit of the right side of his face but enough to see that it Wasnt Right there were two eyes where there shouldve been one and spots on his cheeks bright enough to resemble stars and where the color of his pupil should have been is just a sickeningly neon green with nothing else behind it. so they let him keep the mask even tho they already know something is wrong but it clearly makes him Very Distressed when asked to remove the mask or told to give it up. blah blah blah god harassing its host bc it got them caught and thrown in a prison and dream goes ever so slightly insane having to share a mind and body with a literal ancient god w a vendetta against everything hes built whos forced him to sacrifice everything he loved and cared for out of fear yk the usual prison shit and then techno comes a long and breaks him out or whatever but on their way back to his house he drops a really cryptic line abt how 'its nice to see an old friend again' and 'i thought i got rid of u for good last time' and dream is just ???? what are u talking about?? weve never been friends and youve never gotten rid of me? what. until techno spins around and just 'im not talking to you im talking to the thing inside u' or whatever and dreams eyes flash some brilliant gold or sumn and boom this is ur fellow god speaking how may i help you and dream xd (that feels so wrong to say but) and techno bond or well ig just talk abt how the past centuries have gone and ig while xd is fronting (??? i think itd kinda be like DID in a sense w multiple people being able to front yk?) dream is in a sort of semi conscious state but still hears everything going on around his own body until hes thrown back into the drivers seat (i think that xd would only be able to front for short periods of time due to the vessel n shit that makes sense right) and hes so confused someone please help him hes just a dude who happened to get possessed by a god someone help him so when they finally get back to technos house he sits dream down and explains the best he can without literally melting dreams brain. which would also play into the 'technoblade never dies' bc hes. literally a god. mortals cant kill him unless they have idk some sort of super weapon idk and blah blah blah xd gets what they want and finally has the ability to leave finally leaving dream literally the shell of a man with no home friends materials or anything with techno to basically take care of him until he reaches some semblance of stability again (which would take ages, realistically (wdym realistically) going from normal, to a god sharing a body with you and speaking in you brain living as a single being together and hearing their thoughts, to back to normal but with all the memories of what you did and what they made you do and also no more god speaking in ur head it would take a hot sec to recover from) so he lives with techno (whos, not to mention, another god) for a while until he can fend for himself again and after a good year or so passes and no one hears from dream they start to look for him and see what happened bc he went from the biggest threat on the server to just. gone. no one knows where he went after whatever he did and they want closure. is he dead?? who knows. so george and sap set out looking for him and decide to ask techno for help since hes good w directions n shit also he was the last person to see dream alive so he might have an idea of where he is and they walk up to his house and knock on his door and techno opens it and just stares at them he knows who they are, dreams talked about them before but hes never met them really so he talks to them, getting through the polite hellos how are yous before sap finally asks 'do you know what happened to dream? no one knows where he went and we just want closure' techno huffs and tells them to wait there he (this is the basement door im using his arctic tundra house in my head) goes down the ladder to the second basement, they can hear him talking to multiple people (ranboo phil dream) but cant tell who everyone is before coming back up the ladder, back to the door. he tells them to wait outside he needs to get something first (its dream hes getting dream) theyre standing out by carls stable when the door creaks open and dream steps out looking around for who the fuck could possibly be looking for them he betrayed everyone and most people thought he was dead who could possibly be here asking for himself and not ranboo or philza and when he steps out, his green hoodie (memento made by ranboo to help him cope w the loss of the voice in his head) catching the morning light off the snow and he was happy and then he saw them standing by the house hed grown to call home at least for now he breaks. he missed them so so much it hurt. he never expected to see them ever again much less them come looking to see him but hes scared he realizes he doesnt know what to say there is nothing to say he fucked them all over he ruined everything and then hes being hugged. they missed him too. they dont forgive him jsut yet but they missed him and thats enough for him right now. the three of them stand there just being in each others presences and techno creaks the door open to make sure they arent trying to kill each other and sighs and leans against the frame smiling. hes happy again and thats the best he can do for him. he invites them all in and offers to explain everything to them to try and ease the blame off of dream bc in all honesty it was his fault but xd made it far far worse that it should have been (a bit late but foot note abt xd i think that they would be an idle god until someone w intense feelings of powerlessness and insecurity like awoke them from their techno induced slumber and inhabited dream to help him fulfill his desires for power and control) and by the time he and dream are finished its late at night and sap and george are ??? so u were possessed by a god who techno killed centuries ago in a duel and it amplified ur feelings of insecurity and ur thirst for control to the point of isolating urself from us and destroying everything everyone cared abt?? also technos an ancient god who lusts for bloodshed but also makes turtle farms in his free time?? are we getting this right????? and techno and dream are just yea thats abt it glad this all made sense then they all go to bed (its a small house dream has a lil shack like ranboos and sap and george somehow slept over there for the night) and in the morning sap and george leave again but promise to come back, they still arent ready to forgive and forget bc even tho it wasnt all his fault his emotions getting away from him is what caused this all in the first place so they do need time to process now that they know he isnt dead and dream continues to live near techno in almost full independence and eventually moves back with his friends even tho many still hate him. hes happy and for now thats enough. another foot note; even after xd leaves his being, he still has the extra eyes, glowy freckles n is xtra tall n shit that cant just be reversed but now that hes himself again these things take their tolls on human bodies so i think hed have something at least similar to arthritis bc of how his bones were literally manipulated bc of how strong ethereal magic or whatever is. so he would still wear the broken mask but he takes it off now and is ok with it being off hes working on getting better now that hes himself again and everyone living w/by techno is helping him with that. also i think that he would get blinks of xd's memories like from when techno was killing them and have sumn like ptsd panic attacks from it and techno feels super guilty abt it but theres literally nothing he can do except apologize and after the first few times dream stopped him from apologizing bc it is his fault but he didnt do it to him so it doesnt matter to dream at least and they live in pretty much harmony until dream finally moves back in w george and sap the end. he also started wearing the mask in the first place bc of the extra eyes but he played it off as being uncomfortable around new people and not wanting them to know what he looked like until he trusted them (bc that literally makes sense irl how funky is that) so sap and george never pushed him and when they caught him without it on on the rare occasion they wouldnt pressure him to leave it off or anything even tho they already knew what he looked like (when they respect ur boundaries </3) they just assumed that it was insecurity (it was but also mans had like 3 eyes so) and just left him alone

#dream smp #long post under cut #dream mcyt #technoblade #dream xd #i love dream xd their concept is literally so fucking funny to me #this idea hit me like a train at 11pm and i wrote from 12:04am to 1:02am scribbling this down in dms on discord to my friend whos asleep #fic au idea #i should start a whole tag of that wanna bet how many posts would be there #edit: there are #2064 words and #10582 characters under the cut #what the fuck #is we fuckin doin

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applekitty · 3 years

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psmd rewritten expedition society character things

ampharos:

used to have a kid who liked to explore mystery dungeons. key word being used to

his kid isnt DEAD you guys its a pokemon game. that mf’er is lost and he cant find them

this is derived from when in chapter 12 or so partner and hero are being talked about by mawile and ampharos, and mawile says to keep a close eye on them and ampharos says something to the likes of ‘dont worry i wont let it happen again’ or whatever

was actually VERY resistant to hero and partner joining the society, unlike in the game. only when hero and partner save him from the poliwrath brothers does he reconsider this.

his clumsiness and ease of getting lost basically translates to him taking forever on dungeons. he’s a character who just does ‘whatever he wants’ in terms of ai on floors. the rest of the society tries not to resent him for wandering off so often, but it sometimes leads to tension in particularly challenging dungeons.

mawile:

has lived / second or first hand experienced all previous pmd games. she knows exactly what happened from rescue team to gti and she does not want to see it happen again. because of her trauma, she’s a bit more shut off and calculated about things. she usually uses tough love to communicate that she really, REALLY cares about people and doesnt want them to get hurt.

can you tell my mental illness is showing

mawile is an ex-dungeon mon. she was born and raised in a dungeon and was recruited into a rescue team and lived in a friend area up until the rescue team disbanded and she decided she want to go her own.

her love for archeology is inspired a lot by the fact that she just generally wants to know more about the world around her. she thinks the better she can understand natural disasters of the past, the better she can help handle the ones in the future or the present.

buizel:

ex-pirate turned guild member. quagsire (from gti) fixed him up REAL good after he was done with him. he still retains a cartoonish accent, and also likes to talk about the ‘good ol days’ out on the sea with his pals.

buizel doesn’t actually like the kids. like at ALL. he thinks they’re a chore and he’s CONSTANTLY on their case for even like, EXISTING in the society. the few times he’s not complaining about these kids is when he’s flat out ignoring them

this is resolved when they beat up entei for him. only somewhat though, then his respect is gotten but he’s still a bit rough and grumpy around the edges

bunnelby:

the most boring of the group. grew up in a underground society (like, actually underground not unknown) at a normal house with normal parents. he decided to be a geologist because like, what else are you gonna be, y’know?

probably the least chaotic and well adjusted person in the entire society, but that’s mostly because he was really sheltered. his mental health is okay.. for now

swirlix:

the same bc swirlix is just like that lol

dedenne:

MAD SCIENTIST AESTHETIC!!! WHERES THE TESLA COILS!???

has been working off the grid for most of her life, but now that she’s with the society her research on cross-world communication has EXPLODED. she is the creator of the pokemon nexus, the communication orb, and a lot of the gadgets! if something needs fixing, you either come to her or you go and find jirachi

she and jirachi get into a LOT of fights over who’s smarter of the two of them. she asserts that her engineering is pushing the boundary of modern technology, while he says that he could run circles around her in his sleep.

it’s a healthy rivalry, and it keeps the both of them preoccupied and constantly trying to one-up eachother. which means lots of progress on new inventions

jirachi:

jirachi, after being wished on by bidoof, had the idea of coming out more into public. he was moved by bidoof’s heart, and after sleeping on it, decided to move in with the society so he could do more than just grant wishes and sleep.

he has a strong connection with stars, and ever since he moved in with the society, he’s been more well in contact with legendary and mythical pokemon than ever before. he doesnt like to talk about his relationship with other legendaries very much, mostly because he’s an introvert. he just doesn’t have a lot to say

he cannot use wishes on himself. no matter how much he tries. someone else has to wish on him, and even then, it’s monkey’s paw.

his genius seems to be ‘natural’. he thinks this is because he is a mythical pokemon and has lived for dozens of years. though, he can’t remember most of his life because he was asleep for a lot of it.

#shitpost #psmd

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semiconducting · 3 years

Text

just reflecting on some personal growth stuff from last year !

im actually. genuinely okay. like i think im starting this year feeling okay! which is atypical.

i think i can attribute it to the enormous amount of work id put into myself over the past year...i remember one year ago being extraordinarily depressed and really just. high strung? incredibly anxious but exhausted. and i fell down a descent slowly from not eating, to getting really irritable and not handling conflicts with friends well, to actively self harming again, to the point where i remembered sitting in a coffee shop with one of my friends and saying out loud that i need to go to therapy. and that i was going to talk to a mutual friend of ours about how the therapy services on campus are. which was a huge step for me! ive always had trust issues with therapy services since i was 12 for reasons i wont go into, but im sure you can gather the point of.

and then, literally the next day after saying that, got news about campus shutting down because of the virus.

and i made all of the effort possible to reach out to my friends and get things figured out to weather the storm because i KNEW shit was going to get bad if i didnt. but only one of my friends was really keeping up, and thats because he and i do homework together so we were already in a rhythm of talking every single week no matter what. and thats not to say that im ungrateful for him or the fact that even still he was there for me while i was going through hell, i have this thing about Not Putting All My Problems On And Confiding In One Person And One Person Only. so i withdrew, i stopped talking to everyone, i stopped logging into my classes, i didnt do any homework, i didnt lead my workshops, didnt hold office hours...i was just wallowing in my own misery

and i made plans to kill myself. and thats like, i mean i could say that several dozen times over the course of a year since i was like 12, but i mean a legitimate walkthrough plan. had my hiking bag packed with everything i was going to use, decided where i was going to, and was going to prep myself for it. wrote drafts and drafts of suicide notes until i decided just leaving the contact info of people who needed to know asap was all i was going to leave. in addition to sticky notes on some stuff in my room for what needed to be returned to who, or if something should go to someone in particular...

and i acted as normally as i could around my housemates. attributed my not leaving my room much to being busy with classes. i have a rule to myself to always sleep at least one night before killing myself because if im really serious about going through with it it can always wait one day. this time i decided i was going to clean my room and leave it as pristine as possible. the last thing i had to do was a load of laundry, and then i was going to do it.

and then someone from campus showed up at my door. because one of my professors filed a report and i hadnt responded to any of the emails id received checking in on me.

so i readjusted. caught up on my schoolwork, just barely finished the semester and definitely didnt do it strong or well (god bless the pass/fail option bc of covid LOL), but i did it nonetheless. went home, started my internship, had a miserably mundane summer.

i grew bitter and apathetic. i was angry at my friends for not being responsive when i reached out to them to talk or hang out or do anything. i got tired of dealing with it. i was tired of feeling alone and like no one gave a shit about me except for when it was convenient for them. i decided that i wasnt going to deal with people who werent willing to put any effort into me, so i stopped talking to everyone and kept up with people who were willing to reach out after the fact.

it’s definitely not the best approach. it’s really unforgiving and it doesn’t give people a lot of benefit of the doubt, but i think it was necessary in some respect. i didn’t have any criteria for how people needed to reach out, or how long after, or whatever, just that they did. really needed people in my life who are willing to communicate with me. i was honest with how i was feeling and why i did things if they did, apologized for the shitty approach, thanked them for still being willing to talk to me, and worked out the best way for both of us to keep things going.

over the months i dont think i really regret the decision, because it’s been a weight off my shoulders. i feel a lot better. i’m far more okay with where i stand in all of my friends’ lives, even if that’s not as a priority and even if that’s as just someone to talk to and catch up with like a couple times a year. it took a bit for it to pay off but it’s nice to take a look at people i was putting far too much work into and upon reflection realizing that they only interacted with me when they needed something from me, and not for me as a person. i think there are still people where there are loose ends and i think i may try reaching out myself to tie those up at some point, whenever i have the energy and clarity of mind for it. but i guess at the end of the day i just decided that people who weren’t willing to communicate weren’t worth the time. i’m okay if that communication means i need to be the one to initiate conversations even! i just need to know that.

but yeah. i came back to ny and started the semester totally apathetic and angry. i was so fucking depressed and bored with everything even if i was keeping myself incredibly busy. the only thing that i found rewarding (and what was just barely keeping me going) was leading my workshop for the intro optics class.

and then a friend -- the same friend i was at the coffee shop with -- reached out to catch up. and i was honestly really bitter and angry with him and was prepping myself to start listing out issues that i hadnt been able to address with him beforehand (side note, while telling friends the issues you have with them is important, listing shit out all at once is hardly ever a good approach especially without warning LOL) but ended up...just having a calming and comfortable conversation about what was going on in our lives since we last saw each other.

n later that day i ended up reaching out to an old friend that i had been meaning to catch up with because we fell out of contact, but had just barely been trying to start talking again in the months before this but had kept missing opportunities to properly converse. but we talked again, and we set up a day to hike and catch up.

and he comes to my house and picks me up. and i get in his car. and its like, holy shit, its been almost a year since ive seen you. and we hugged. and just started to catch each other up on the mess that had been our lives since we’d actively been in contact. we hiked, he told me about the books he wanted to write, we talked about people we knew, we talked about politics, we talked about school, we talked about life, and it was just as comfortable as if not a day had passed...even though it was obvious that he and i were both changed people over the past year. nothing about our friendship was any different though.

we resolved to hanging out with each other every week. decided we both needed the interaction, appreciated having each other around, and had a nice overlap of free time in the week that worked well. friday nights unless otherwise specified.

it was totally unexpected. he’d always been a great friend to me, but i never expected us to get as close as we did. neither did he. he’s probably the first person in my life (or at least in a very long time, and certainly the only person at the time) that i’d been so comfortable with that i practically had no boundaries around. none that needed to be addressed, anyway, because the only possible ones to throw up wouldn’t even come up (but of course, i constantly reassured that as soon as anything came up i would let him know because early on he kept asking sjhdkjfh).

he became something for me to look forward to in the week. towards the beginning he was a shoulder to lean on when i needed it and was willing to listen to things i hadn’t been able to tell anyone out loud. and he confided in me as well. it was comfortable. it was safe. it was a level of trust with vulnerability that i’d never shown anyone else.

but it wasnt even just that! it was fun! hes so fun. we could talk about everything and nothing, and hes one of the only people where i feel like i have to keep up with him in conversation instead of the other way around. we’d jump from topic to topic so much faster than either of us could think and it was all always so interesting. littered with humour that was just dumb and simple. i felt comfortable just being an idiot with him. i felt like i had nothing to prove.

for the past few years ive held to the sentiment that i like to hang around with people that make me a better person. but somehow, with him, its not that i felt like he made me a better person, but that he made me more myself. he saw who i was without any kind of fronts. and i always was afraid to show anyone that me because i always assumed that they would be depressing, loathsome, bitter, angry, and vicious.

but....i’m not. i learned that i’m incredibly loving. that i’d do fuckin anything to for my friends, but always in a way that was healthy and rewarding for both of us. i’m very light-hearted and my sense of humour is so stupid, but also very analytical and thoughtful. just a bit judgmental and pretentious, but always for things that people dont expect. totally open minded in discussions. an avid explorer, and a bit of a thrillseeker. and so, so, so affectionate.

i realized im. not as horrible as ive always made myself out to be. i accepted that i didnt need to punish myself for things beyond my control. i realized that i could believe people when they tell me that they enjoy my company, or appreciate things i do for them, or that they think i’m a worthwhile person to keep around.

its not that i dont have my flaws, its not that there arent things that i have to work on still. but maybe, at my core, i’m not actually motivated by spite, i’m not actually a hopeless pessimist, and that i’m not...broken. i’m not some secretly irredeemable monster.

and for a period of time i’ve been in a place where i could say i was genuinely...happy! and i don’t think i’ve ever been able to say that. i’ve certainly been made happy by doing things with friends in the past, i’ve been through periods where i’ve been okay with where i am at in life, but ever since i was like 12 (but probably even before that) i’d never been able to say that i was happy. it’s not that i wasn’t stressed, it’s not that things in my life were all going perfectly....but they didn’t define my mood. they didn’t define my view of myself. school, despite being the primary focus of my life, wasn’t dictating how i was feeling. even when things were agonizing and depressing because of school, i was still okay. i was incredibly stable.

and i owe that all to him being there for me. and hardly any of these things were anything that he was really directly responsible for, like its not that he sat there and just constantly showered me in reassurance and praise or anything that changed how i view myself...it was just having his company. it was just being able to sit there and listen to him go on about some totally random thing that he was exceptionally knowledgeable about. it was exploring caves and climbing hills. it was cooking together. it was talking about science. it was talking about love. it was talking about music. it was just having a consistent presence in my life, someone that treated me like a priority but never at the expense of himself, and someone i didn’t have to walk on any kind of eggshells around. it was someone who trusted me and respected me not by anything id done to warrant it, but just because of who i was.

it was a reminder that i can take care of my own problems, that i just need to be a good presence in someone’s life and for them to be a good presence in mine.

but also that i can accept help from people who genuinely want to offer it! and that that help doesnt always have to be direct. that sometimes helping me means i get to do something nice for someone else LOL

it was everything i ever needed and i wasnt even looking for it. he meant the world to me and i was so, so thankful for the circumstances that led us here because i was so happy to have him in my life again. i was happy that we were able to get closer because we’d only been able to interact in professional environments before.

and then i realized i was in love. and i had a sexuality crisis. but i didn’t recognize it until i fell hard because it was a different kind of love than i’ve felt for anyone before. it was intense but entirely too comfortable. but i knew that i cared about him, and that he cared about me, and that i really didn’t need anything about our friendship to change but that it had potential to be something even greater than it was.

and i resolved to tell him about it...until he told me first. and that moment was, as cheesey as it sounds, nothing less than magical. we were both so happy and giggly and it was so sweet and warm and i dont know if im ever going to be able to recreate that feeling because it was just so particular, so specific to being something between me and him. its not that i cant love anyone else as strongly or be as happy as i was necessarily, but it’ll never be that same kind of feeling.

but things happened. things got complicated. i think he panicked. and then things that happened just felt so dirty and hollow and dark. he hurt me really, really, really badly, and it managed to happen in the span of four days.

and i’ve spent the last <2 weeks dealing with it. i think he’s dealing with it in his own ways, but realistically i don’t know how because i havent seen him since christmas eve, and we were both definitely not being completely genuine that day. was at his house for a small family party and he and i were the only ones who knew what happened. it was too soon to have healed from it any, but we couldnt exactly be honest about it then either.

and im doing better. im genuinely okay now. and, interestingly, i think i owe it to the past few months of hanging out with him and how ive been able to come to terms with a lot of things about myself. ive been able to show myself compassion. its really ironic.

its a situation where i was desperately trying to throw blame onto myself for, because if i could then i could punish myself for it and use it to fuel that deep rooted self hatred and then i could fix it, because i’d be the one responsible for fixing it. but, and i’ve talked to quite a few friends about it trying to figure out who to confide in about it, everyone who knows about it insists that i cant blame myself for it. theres not a thing about the situation that i can blame myself for. and its so fucking weird, because i cant bring myself to fully blame him for it either, just because it was so ABSURDLY out of character that it doesnt feel like it was anything he could have done to me. it was a boundary that i wasnt ever supposed to worry about him crossing, because he’s just not that kind of person.

and it’s the type of situation that you’re supposed to totally be willing to cut someone off for but...i can’t. he’s genuinely remorseful and i think he doesn’t really know how to deal with it either. and despite it being a massive fuck up its still like...the first fuck up in our friendship from either of us. and i’m willing to see this through. i think it’s salvageable, even if it’ll never be the same as it was. i have faith in our friendship. i think we can make it work.

but no matter what happens. i owe him more than i’ll ever be able to repay him for. and i’ll never, ever be able to hate him because of that. i’m in a much, much better place because of him and for that i’ll always be thankful.

#shut up mega #this ended up being longer and more in depth abt the earlier half of the year than i meant it LOL #a summary of my 2020 i spose #also there's some kinda detailed talk of #suicide ment -#self harm ment -#IM CRYING AFTER WRITING THIS OUT LMAOOOO

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lethbians · 4 years

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can you explain what's going on right now? i keep seeing big IT blogs talking about some discourse or something but i have no idea what they're talking about other than it involves you lol

alright i like. i truly do not like having diScOurSE out in public because i’m not one to air out my dirty laundry 24/7 but seeing as how it was brought into public against my will i feel like the least i can do is clear up the situation for those who’ve been seeing the posts.

i’m putting this under the cut bc it’s long. tws for some biphobia, brief mention of transphobia and, at the end, a rape mention.

so if you don’t know: hi, i’m migz, i’m an it fandom blogger. its okay, i know, its really cool. part of my shtick here is that i like to turn normal thirst tags into works of art for the sake of comedy. perhaps you’ve seen some of my highlights from my “fhg” tag - perhaps your brain has been spared. either way, it became kind of “my thing” around the third or fourth week (mid nov) of me having this blog. at first, i tagged just about every ask i got mentioning the thirst tags with “bill hader” - they had to do with him, so why not tag him? it would draw more like minded people! about two days into that i got a message asking me to tag my nsfw. i am a big dumb idiot, and apologize for not initially doing it. i havent had a following bigger than like 10 in several years and completely spaced on basic etiquette. so by the end of november i was tagging everything applicable with “notsfw” and “bill hader”.

now you’re caught up.

on december 1st i got this message from user billhaderanti:

now i want to start by saying i absolutely was in the wrong here. i didn’t even think about how many people were being subjected to the asks i was getting - especially ones who had no idea they were all jokes. i don’t track the bill hader tag, so it just didn’t even occur to me - that’s ignorance on my part, and to anyone who was subjected to the terrors of me before my tagging system: i am genuinely sorry. i relay the same sentiment in my response, though you can tell i’m on edge.

and they replied:

clearly they Were offended by it but thats.. not the point. at this point, im feeling Really weird about the whole interaction, but still understanding, because again - i GET it. i know my posts are gross - that’s the point. it doesn’t make it excusable, though, which is why i understand why people are offended. so i responded with the only solution i Knew would keep us both safe and happy posting on our own blogs.

so i thought this would be the end of things! i’d been pretty anxious lately already since i’d started to receive anons telling me i was gross and whore-ish for thirst posting in this way (i delete all of those, so if ur thinking about sending one, i guess no one’s stopping you but it won’t be seeing the light of the dashboard). i’m unsure if it was immediately or a few hours later, seeing as how i have a bad concept of time and the post-dates are right on the edge between nov 30 and dec 1, but i went to their blog - because anyone who has been on the internet knows the opportunity to vague post is near irresistible. and...what do ya know

fair! it’s their blog. however i am an emotionally fragile egg girl and immediately got freaked out. the odds that they were the only one who thought this were low. and, again, i’ve been very open on my blog about how important it is to respect boundaries; my posts are absolutely prone to breaking those boundaries people have created for themselves.

so i made my own, semi-vague post, letting my following know (and i’m pretty sure i’d answered asks about it before, but this is going to be long enough w/o me searching those up too) that i understood if they wanted to block me or unfollow or whatever - people need to create their own safe spaces. the tension is pretty clear in the tags, i’m not trying to hide that. i felt that the way this woman slid into my dm’s was pretty abrasive (just my opinion/how it made me personally feel) and i let myself be a lil emotional about it in the tags of my post.

alright! maybe this is the end. maybe we both go our separate ways and post happily on our own blogs... except it’s not the end. later in the day (some of this was happening like 1/2am, so now its Day day, i believe - again, not good w time passage lol)

clearly, i’m upset. my groupchat double checked that i didn’t get too emotional in my response - did i mention im anxious about discourse lol - and apparently.. it did the trick. she didn’t message me again. great. it was over.

at this point, i decided i needed to make an even bigger change. so a few days after i’d calmed down i created an entirely new tag for my thirst posts so if people hadn’t already hidden the notsfw posts or just blocked me outright, they’d have a third option to escape the madness. at this point, id had my blog about 6? weeks, but there were still 2k posts for me to sift through - some of them were completely untagged. i also had to do it post by post, because one of xkits features - the mass re-tagger - was getting blogs deleted for some reason, and i wasn’t going to do that. so i spent a few days going through all 2k+ posts, adding the “fhg” tag.

YEEHAW! a brand new tagging system, no more hopping into the bill hader tag (minus one or two really funny, not super explicit asks, like the bill hader farquaad meme), and, tbf, i’d completely put this woman out of my mind. i don’t seek out drama and do my best to stay in my lane. yesterday, i checked my activity for the first time in awhile since id put out a couple new original posts that had started to get traction and i Love reading tags. i noticed a mutual had @’d me, and realized i havent checked my @’s in...ever, maybe. i see a post from my good pal billhaderanti.

since i dont follow them and never check my @’s, i’d completely missed it. however, once i did see it, i was horrified. id gone through all that fucking work to keep my blog My Blog and also respect everyone’s boundaries and it still hadn’t been enough. i’d been awake for almost 24 hours and went. a little crazy. and i didn’t reply immediately because i just had no words. i sent it to my friends because i... i just wasn’t going to be able to figure it out myself.

there’s a lot to unpack in this post alone, but whatever, i’m gonna put my own grievances with the immaturity of 1. making a callout post to begin with when i’d been nothing but civil 2. making a callout post about something as (in the grand scheme of Life) minor as some tags where i refer to a someone’s genitals as a “whack pack” and 3. making a callout post in such a rude way - aside. at the end, she calls me (and whoever else!) a demonic mlw (man loving woman, we assumed, and then later confirmed with a post further back on her blog).

which - yeah, we started scrolling. at first we were looking for more vague blogs, and then we just...started finding things. billhaderanti is a self proclaimed lesbian separatist, which... fine. but it’s already pretty clear that this woman hates me on some level simply because i am a bi woman (demonic mlw, remember!) which is just. damn man i can’t believe we are still fighting the biphobic fight lol. so the more we scrolled, the more we uncovered - and not just the biphobic / vaguely mtf transphobic things they posted (or put in tags), but we also found that they had their OWN thirst tags. certainly not as hyperbolically comedic as mine, but they were there, talking about his body and his person the same (and, frankly, a bit creepier for other reasons) as mine.

there’s one post in particular that snatched my wig in it’s creepiness - and i say creepiness in the sense that it feels personal. like this woman feels like she knows bill to some degree where she can say these things. my tags have always had a sense of distance, as they’re written for humor. and maybe this particular post was written for comedic purposes, but it doesn’t read that way, and if it WAS, then she has no right to call ME out for MY comic tags and posts.

i’ll let it speak for itself, mostly because i don’t want to read it again.

i also won’t be going through her blog again to find the posts with biphobic and other Interesting:tm: tags because there are plenty and i just really! want to be done with the whole ordeal! her blog is public and i’m sure you can all find it and look to your heart’s content.

feeling a bit feral and a bit pissed off now that we knew the depth of how rotten this woman’s vibes were, a couple of my pals made a post or two similar to what my tag’s are like except turned up to eleven (if possible) - and tagged them with “bill hader” (and notsfw!!). yes, a bit childish, but at this point, the entire situation was childish, and making jokes was truly the only way we were going to get through it. another vague post went up on her blog soon after.

talking down to us, calling us children, and then for whatever reason calling us virgins... whatever, weird post. around this time most of us (est) went to bed, because it was nearing 3 or 4 in the morning.

and then today happened. i woke up fresh and ready for the day after a wonderful 4 hours of sleep and found that jane had made an incredibly intelligent post in response to the situation. i won’t ss it, but i’ll LINK in case you missed it. attached there in the reblog is my own response. i think they can speak for themselves.

after that, things were kind of jumbled, since i wasn’t online a lot and when i was i was Not checking my activity simply because i was afraid of what i’d see. for the most part, it ended up just being support (which i am very grateful to all of you for - it means a lot that you all enjoy my content to any degree).

there was some more vague posting from both “““““sides”””””” of the “““““argument”””””” - mostly just people restating the fact that this is a public space and we should All be aware of how we effect others. i still hadn’t heard directly from billhaderanti, so i assumed we’d all be dropping and disengaging and moving on. i still wasn’t blocked, though, so who really knew what would happen.

eventually, it culminated in this last post. tw for mentions of rape

i’m going to start by saying that

1. there are nearly no teenagers that were involved in this. im turning 23 in january and most of my friends are 20+. maybe one or two are 19.

2. none of us sent any sexually violent asks - most of us didn’t send asks at all. i believe one or two of my friends admitted to sending asks however they assured me their nature wasn’t bad; as far as i know, everyone remained civil in whatever went on (again, unclear to me as to what was being sent; no one was actively posting or talking about it. if billhaderanti wishes to elaborate, they can, but i don’t have anything to put in).

3. before i finish this, i would like to apologize to billhaderanti. as a comedian - not just my stupid tags, i mean in real life, too - i know that humor can hurt. it’s not always funny, it’s not just stupid hahas. sometimes things that are supposed to be jokes just hit people differently and cause bad things. i recognize that. i never meant to trigger you (if you’re reading this) or cause you any severe mental/emotional harm. i apologize for my humor bringing up your trauma, and i never meant for that. regardless of my own thoughts and opinions about the nature of my posts/the thirst tags themselves, they hurt you, and i’m sorry.

anyway, i’m going to wrap this up (i’m bad at endings, what can i say! steven king and i took the same writer’s class!). if you read all this... sorry. i probably won’t be taking any asks about it, because i find the whole “drama” of this to be stupid and rooted in some seriously biphobic issues this fully grown woman has.

tldr; i attempted to contain my blog so this woman could exist and function safely on her blog, but it wasn’t enough for her, so she called me out, and then some of the fandom called Her out for being biphobic and mean and overall just immature about the situation. as of now, she’s yet to block me, though her and her wife have blocked a few of my friends. her wife continues to clown on my friends. this post was made for clarity’s sake. the end, i’m getting a drink.

#discourse #biphobia tw #transphobia tw #rape tw #ok goodbye im done with this im back to #only posting gay clown movie #Anonymous

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