#if i went to the sony open and did that i’d die | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ryttu3k · 3 years

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Finishing up SoNY, ‘bad’ end and final thoughts!

But first, the early game over.

Wow, she just gets shot. Not even slurped? That’s rude as hell XD;;

And on to the ‘bad’ end!

Beginning is much the same, ofc.

“You’re too in love with weaving a good story and establishing a seductive narrative to let facts get in the way.” Foreshadowing for the ‘good’ end, maybe?

God that Embrace scene gives me literal goosebumps.

Alright! Last time I did Danse Macabre and Retributive Justice, let’s try The Risks of Swiping Right!

lmao god I’d eat this guy too. Back to the ghost club! That legitimately is a really neat scene. ...Ooh yes so that’s where the girl was from.

Panhard just lowkey dying at the mental image of Katherine Weise in a fast food restaurant is so good.

The sweet scene between Julia and Dakota hits a bit different after the ‘good’ end XD;;

Went to the park, reminisced, and helped out the guy. That was sweet ;_; High-humanity Julia, this time!

‘Fairy God Mother?’ is great but ‘Vin Diesel?’ is objectively the funnier response.

“Shining even more brightly than usual, Aisling.” Samira got a cru-ush~

Poor Julie. It’s probably been tough without Sophie around :(

Huh. Interestingly, refusing to lie to Mia results in Julia actually feeling genuine loyalty to the Cammies (for now, at least).

Believing Agathon is still alive = more optimistic = different dialogue! See, this is how you make choices have consequences, game!

Oooh boy time to meet Adelaide XD;;

“She uncrosses her legs in a strangely seductive motion. In her mind’s eye, it probably looked like Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, but in reality, it had all the grace of a tracksuit Slav squatting.” *snickering*

Fight me, Adelaide >:(

‘sup Nastya. Went with the slightly less disruptive routine here XD Huh, she’s an aspiring DJ! Julia is deeply confused as to how being a DJ and being head of security works together.

lmao Julia referring to Hope as a girlboss. That phrase has lost all meaning to me...

The conversation between Julia and Father Leonard is still really interesting. Man, you know who I want Julia to talk to? Anatole. Interesting insights into balancing being queer Catholic vampires there for sure.

lmao oh my god I want to fight this street reporter.

‘I can almost feel my brain losing its wrinkles.’ *snort*

Yeaghhhh the Abyss bit is still so creepy...

Oops. Being honest regarding Tamika and Torque’s relationships gets a fail :(

Oh, or not XD That works! Also, uh, apparently the giant albino ghoul alligator is real, according to New York by Night. He’s Calebros’ pet.

“Because I think I have a pretty good nose for people’s auras. And when I take a good look at you... ...somehow, I have a feeling you’re a surprisingly decent person. Whatever way of unlife you choose, I hope you don’t change it. And that you remember my advice.” :)

“I know.” Oof.

“Hi.” “WAAAH!” lmao sorry Princess XD;; Just trying to imagine Qadir’s face as he tells Julia to find a 1990 glass statue of Scrooge McDuck... dying...

Oh she’s so a Toreador XD Low art options are a fantasy book, an anime DVD, or a video game... those can all be arty, though! And went with the anime DVD called ‘Ririsu no Daibouken’... that translates to ‘Adventures of Lilith’. How on the nose XD “The cover says ‘Lilith’s Carnal Carnival’.” Oh. Yeah, that’d do it XD

“This 90s original video anime presents us with a tale of five big-bosomed samurai warriors travelling through America in search of General Hastavista, The Incubus King. Don’t let all the titillation misguide you: the main draws here are peerless direction, a nearly avant-garde editing rhythm and dialogue that coyly comments on traditional gender roles in anime. Once you see the animation in the final battle, you’ll understand why it never fails to set a sakuga fan’s heart ablaze!”

She’s my new favourite.

“So can I know your name now?”

“Hmmm... Let me think...

No. <3″

I need to stress that the heart appears in the dialogue box. Like. The actual less-than-three heart.

Didn’t investigate the rat this time, so Qadir did and I die. “Glad you’re alright, little guy.” Qadir...

Still not over the drunk blood doll rats.

Kaiser’s still a goddamn creep and this time Julia is not going too far. She still has her humanity, dammit. Final set of traits:

Loyal to the end

Glass half-full

Not into a bad cop schtick

Honesty is the best policy

No more human, still humane

Onwards to the ‘bad’ end! Oops, and Dakota still did the Single White Female thing XD;;

Man I’m still really curious who the ‘good friend’ is!!

Okay! Time for end game!!

So that’s the good friend, huh? “Let me phrase it differently, then. You’re not Ecaterina the Wise, the Agitator of Prague, a Brujah elder causing turbulences all over the world... are you?”

Mention of Christof! Mention of Christof doing shady shit :| Poor Hana.

“An immigrant from Eastern Europe comes to New York City, takes the position she always expected to find herself in, is molded into someone who is no longer herself.”

Julia and Dakota representing Carthage is kind of neat.

I want to say the mention of St Jude is a reference, but I’m not sure what to XD;; Is that from Redemption? Christof could have been the one to tell Hana that.

“Like a two-person human centipede loop or something. An Ouroburos? Or an, uhh, Mobius strip?” No, that’s the other traditionally Sabbat clan XD

That‘s. That’s a hell of a reconciliation XD “Yeah, let’s give it a try. By the way I’m on the run for my unlife, want to go to California and try to find utopia?”

Julia, wear a fucking mask XD

“Hey.”

“Yeah?“

“Do you love me?”

“... Of course I do. For now, at least.”

I still don’t know if I love her. Or even if I can love anyone, for that matter. I’m a fucking monster, after all. I don’t even know if we’ll exist next month. The prospects are not looking good. But although I can’t see myself in the rearview mirror right now...

...I will remember this image of us leaving the city, somewhat melancholic, and somewhat hopeful, forever. And maybe the meaning of this image will be clarified with time. Or maybe I will just force a more positive description on it, and that is what I’ll believe.

No matter what happens... even if oceans of blood lie before us, I will make this a cherished memory.

Whatever possible salvation still remains for me... ...it probably lies in the eyes of another.

Oh dang I have chills.

So the ‘bad’ ending is about the subverted compromise. Julia resigns herself to letting the compromise about the truth of Callihan’s death go ahead. ‘Catherine’ is a walking compromise to hide the Ecaterina’s real deeds. But while Hana is still stuck in her role for now, Julia refuses to accept the compromise she’s made, both the one relating to the investigation and the compromise she made of her own views and morals. It might blow up in her face, yeah. But damn, she’s going to try.

So, final thoughts! For the sake of completion, this is what I said about Coteries:

And of course this is the part where the game all falls apart :-\

Just… god. This is probably the biggest problem with CoNY, and the reason I didn’t bother getting it until it was like… 60% off. The bulk of the game is great - the writing is intriguing, the design is stunning. But the choices themselves are so limited it’s barely worth even getting it at 60% off!

You have three choices of characters, with their own opening chapters and own individual scenes with their touchstones. You have four choices of coterie members, and three sidequests. You can probably get in at least three full story arcs and a sidequest or two, but you’re only ever limited to two of your coterie members showing up at the not-yet-endgame.

So let’s say you decide to play all three protags, which, indeed, is encouraged (there’s an achievement for it). You are going to repeat coterie arcs and side quests, because there simply aren’t enough for three unique playthroughs.

And then you get to the end and literally everything is scripted. You get attacked by the SI. You get rescued by your two coterie members (and then never see them again, despite the game being called Coteries of New York). You meet Torque, you escape the SI, Sophie reveals her plan to Torque, you go to Ellis Island, Adelaide kills Sophie (and despite the fact that you’re given multiple options there, none of them work), Arturo does his spiel, end of game. You don’t even get to choose between ending up blood bound or going “no fuck you” and at least dying with a bit of dignity!

I just. I really want to like it, and there genuinely is a lot there to like! But uuuugh the ending. Like damn at least give the poor protag the option to choose what happens to them!

Anyway. Not sure what’s next. To get all the achievements, you have to finish with all three protags, so that’s three full runs and a lot of repetitiveness (compare to, say, Bloodlines or Night Road. I have eighty-five hours on Night Road and there’s still stuff I haven’t seen!), so I can’t even just… rush it through up to the meeting with the touchstones on the third play. Nope. Gotta finish it :-\

Final rating: 6/10

8/10 characters, 9/10 atmosphere, 8/10 story aside from ending, 3/10 story ending, 2/10 replayability. Final consensus: get it on major sale if you can, otherwise, you might as well just watch an LP. I might do that instead of doing a third run, although I at least want to do a second.

I ended up revising that 6/10 to 5.5/10 after finishing all runs and getting the achievements just out of how goddamn repetitive it was. So, how does Shadows measure up?

Absolutely continued with all the things I enjoyed about CoNY (characters, atmosphere, and writing), and of the bits I hated (cookie cutter protagonists, lack of real choice, repetitiveness, the godawful ending), every single part has been completely improved.

Instead of three fledglings so similar they even have the same internal thoughts, we have Julia, who’s got such a distinct voice that she becomes the most memorable game protag I’ve seen in years, and I’m including non-VtM games in this. This is absolutely her game, and it’s just... absolutely fascinating to read and watch.

Related - actual real choices. There are five key choices that determine the ending, and every single one has actual consequence in-game. You get different dialogue. Different introspection. Different philosophies. And this carries across - if Julia believes Agathon is alive, she’s more optimistic about her relationship with Dakota, too. And of course, both endings are completely distinct and incredibly written - the ‘good’ ending where Julia gives in to her most Lasombra instincts, plays the game, wins it, gets power and respect at the expense of her humanity and avoiding all those wraiths... or the ‘bad’ ending when she listens to her morals, reconciles with Dakota, and leaves for California, uncertain, but hopeful.

Not a lot of repetitiveness. Yes, by design, you’ll probably do two playthroughs. The main plot is much the same, but there are enough options there to get multiple dialogue options and stuff. And for the little sidequests, you can actually get all in with just the two playthroughs, only repeating like... two, I think. Still, I wasn’t feeling actively bored like I was midway through my second run of CoNY!

Loved seeing more in-depth backstory and development for the coterie members. Agathon’s section was particularly fascinating, literally getting into his head.

And just. Atmosphere and music is so, so good.

Final rating: 9/10. Thank you, Draw Distance, you hit it out of the park.

#vampire the masquerade #vtm shadows of new york #ry plays sony

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37-children-of-the-dreams · 3 years

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Day #36: Love Story (Epilogue)

The day is finally here. Korkie and Crosshair might have been just a brain worm, but these two have been fun to write. So long boys. May the Force be with you.

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(Epilogue)

The rich deserts of Kalevala was shining through the windshield of the Katalyst and the passengers were happy to be back. Even if it wasn’t going to be for long.

Fennec had the pilot’s pit to herself. Korkie and Crosshair were far too busy at their bedroom to be the pilots. Sarad was too busy playing with her wedding bow that she tore it apart. Crosshair was smirking too much for Korkie’s sake.

“That’s my duchess!” Crosshair said. “You look better with armor anyway.”

“Cross, she’s too tiny,” Korkie groaned. “She’s the size of a two-year old. Kryze would wear armor when they’re bigger. Also, today’s our wedding.”

“Well, it’s a Mandalorian wedding. Shouldn't we have armor?”

“We have weapons. No one is going to attack our wedding if they know what’s good for them.”

Crosshair smiled and kissed his fiancee’s forehead. It was a year since they’ve met and they’ve been through so much. The fights, the target practice, the bounties and having Sarad. They grew as partners and as a couple. And now they’re getting married in Kalevala.

Which was Crosshair’s idea. He wanted Bo-Katan to watch him marry her former nephew. Though, he said it was because he wanted to marry at the place they first met.

Korkie didn’t believe his excuse, but he wanted Nanny Rana to watch his wedding. Also, he wanted to see Bo-Katan faint at the sight of him marrying Crosshair while the Bad Batch was in attendance.

The Bad Batch was already at Kalevala because of Crosshair. He wanted Rana to get them fitted for the wedding and he deathly knows how bad they were at wearing top-grade suits. Hunter and Echo were always trying to get away from wearing something they felt undeserving, Tech would be too busy talking about clothing facts to wear one, and Wrecker was just big. Yet, Rana seemed to know what to do since she sent a comm of them in their wedding outfits.

As for the Shands. Well, Luka was once a wedding officiant before Fennec was born and he did demand that he wear clothes fitting for a former officiant. Kristal wore a motherly blue gray dress that matched her husband’s clothes. Fennec wouldn’t stop beaming in happiness at the sight of her happy parents. She asked to wear a dress with leggings in case of a Bo-Katan attack.

As for the grooms and Sarad? Crosshair had a gray suit he asked Rana to prepare for his wedding. It was simple and made out of Beskar to make sure it would hold for years. Korkie wanted to wear the last outfit he ever created for his mother. A rather plain blue dress that he knows Bo-Katan would try to burn in anger. To match her fathers, Korkie made Sarad wear a gray and blue dress. With a now broken blue bow because it wasn't made with Beskar.

Fennec saw the Havoc Marauder and landed near the Bad Batch’s ship. The four exited the Katalyst with two boxes containing Fennec’s dress and Korkie’s wedding dress. Rana and the Shands greeted the four first. Then, the Bad Batch came out and hugged Crosshair.

“Congrats, Crosshair,” Hunter said. “I’m so proud to call you my brother.”

“I’m happy to know you’re the one giving me away,” Crosshair said.

They went back to the mansion to talk about the steps of the wedding. Korkie and Fennec went to their rooms to wear their dress while Crosshair was too busy cradling Sarad. Rana and the Shands went to the garden to finish up the place.

“She’ll always have bragging rights against future siblings,” Wrecker said.

“Your next children would possible ask you for a recreation of the wedding,” Tech pointed out. “ Sarad might rally them if she wants them to understand what a wedding is.”

“Wouldn’t they already understand if they teach the kids?” Echo asked.

“They might,” Crosshair said. “But, I’d be happy to recreate the best day of my life.”

Hunter laughed. Crosshair had changed from the cold sniper they all knew. HE was kinder and warmer.

“It’s time,” Kristal said when she fetched them. “The place is ready, Fennec is there, Rana is getting Korkie and my husband is trying his best not to cry. Oh, and the birds are singing like it’s the biggest wedding in the whole galaxy.”

The Bad Batch and Sarad were taken to the garden where Crosshair met Korkie. He gave Sarad to Fennec and the girls went to their designated spot. Tech, Wrecker and Echo went to the opposite side of her. Hunter took out his arm and walked Crosshair down the aisle. Hunter was not going to cry before his brother said his vows. At the aisle, Crosshair looked at the entrance and smiled. Korkie was wearing the wedding dress like a true Duke of Mandalore and had a bouquet of beautiful flowers. Rana was already crying since she was full of happiness that she couldn’t wait.

When Korkie took to his side of the aisle, Crosshair couldn’t stop laughing at the sight of his groom. He had a hard life as a defective clone, but what can he say now? He got the best man to marry him.

“Friends, Family and Guest,” Luka started. “We are gathered here to join these men as husbands in wedded life. If there is anyone who would deny this right, speak now--”

The door open and Korkie groaned in unsurpassed annoyance. Bo-Katan and her Nite Owls had arrived. They brought Amis, Lagos and Soniee with them.

“What now Lady Bo-Katan?!” Korkie screamed. “I know I’m not supposed to be here, but this place is where my husband and I met!”

Bo-Katan steeled herself as Amis, Lagos, ans Sonies said sorry to the wedding party.

“I’m not here to stop you,” she said.

Korkie and Crosshair gave her a surprised look. She had to be joking, right?

“I really am not going to ruin whatever this is. I’m just here to witness it and finally announce that Satine’s bloodline has finally ended. You’re more than open to continue. I just have to see the last of my sister leave Clan Kryze and be with someone I know might not have been the best pick, but the one that makes him happy for the rest of his life.”

Bo-Katan said nothing else and let the wedding continue by having her Nite Owls stand next to the doors as if they were going to exit the instant the wedding ended. Korkie nodded at his former aunt and her decision. It might have been more hurtful to her losing the last piece of Satine, but even they knew their relationship was not going to be the same anymore.

“Well,” Luka said. “Let’s get back to the wedding. I’ve read the entire book on Kryze weddings, and I know it’s time for the promise vows. Then after the vows, it’s the marriage vows to which they’ll be husbands for life.”

Korkie went first since he was a former Kryze.

“Crosshair,” he started. “When I first met you, I was an unhappy former duke who had his entire life destroyed and was exiled from Mandalore for whatever reasons. I initially wanted to use you to get away from Mandalore and anger my entire House because you were there in my visions getting me away from Mandalore.

Then, I realize I’m not a master manipulator and stuck myself to you because why not? I’m already away from Kalevala and you’re a bounty hunter, so what were the chances?”

The entire wedding party laughed much to Crosshair’s dismay. He really know how to end up with Korkie of all Mandalorians.

“Then, we bonded. I know I made stupid risk that day getting the carbonite unit and almost got both of us killed, but I’m grateful that you saw that I was just trying to help. Then, I forgot the fuel for the hyperdrive and we talked about our respective families. Then, Tatooine where we met Fennec...”

Korkie took a breathe and finally cried looking at his Crosshair.

“What I’m just saying is, you had multiple chances to just ditch me and leave me for dead, but you didn’t. You said I was important when I needed to hear it. I made me feel important after all the pain I had been given after my mother’s death. You gave me a family again. I will never stop loving you and I will always love hearing that I’m your husband til the day I die. I love you, Cyare.”

Crosshair smiled. He knows it’s his turn, but he needs a pause. He took a breathe and spoke.

“You’re never going to stop being important to me,” he declared. “I was angry, lonely, and I had just broke away from my brothers. I wanted to show me I was capable of being a big-time bounty hunter and it lead me to you. I’ll never forget the day I thought I had you as a bounty, you were just sitting here in this garden ready for a deal that would change my life. I didn’t believe you until you almost killed that Death Watch commander and made me realize how true your deal was.

Ans you’re right, we had a bunch of ups and downs, but you never gave up on me. I remember the day I was teaching Fennec how to shoot. We both know it was a disaster since I’m not a teacher, but instead of just leaving me in the rain, you came for me and told me I can always talk to you. Which is true because despite the fact I made you feel like we’re galaxies apart at times, you still wanted to be near me. You were patient and you did not take my words as a sign of backing off, but instead you kept telling me that I can talk to you. Then, you’re old friends came, and I really thought for one second you’d leave me for them. Yet, you never did and you made us trick them into thinking we’re already married by scarring Lagos for life with us kissing like it’s our actual wedding night.”

Lagos blushed as Bo-Katan looked at her with dismay. She never did tell Bo-Katan that Korkie and Crosshair might have done the deed before marriage. The Bad Batch had to hold their laughter as Bo-Katan looked like she was about to faint. They were betting with Fennec on this. One hundred credits on the line.

“And like you said, we have a family to ourselves because of our bond. Well, including my brothers and Fennec it’s a quite a chaotic family. Yet, it’s perfect for me. You healed me and I’d die fighting for this marriage, and this family. Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum, my darling Korkie. You’re forever the only one for me.”

“Now for the marriage vows!” Luka announced.

Korkie and Crosshair looked at each other’s eyes and started their vows.

“Mhi solus tome, mhi solus dar'tome, mhi me'dinui an, mhi ba'juri verde" (We are one when together, we are one when parted, we will share all, we will raise warriors.)”

The two Keldabe kissed first and kissed on the lips afterward.

The entire place erupted in cheers. Even Bo-Katan and her Nite Owls cheered for the marriage. Then, Bo-Katan went towards them.

“Please,” Bo-Katan begged. “Tell you didn’t pull a Satine. You know? As in did the deed before marriage?”

Korkie blushed and ducked his head on Crosshair’s suit. Crosshair shrugged as if to say ‘So what?’

Bo-Katan fainted to the happiness of Wrecker and Fennec. They did bet against Hunter, Tech and Echo that Bo-Katan might come and faint during the wedding. The three placed their credits to the winners as the Nite Owls grabbed her and steadied the heiress.

“You really are Satine’s son,” Bo-Katan said. “Going after the worst possible suitors and being in love with them.”

“At least I’m not a Jedi,” Crosshair pointed out.

“That kind of makes it less painful.”

Bo-Katan exited the mansion with her Nite Owls following her. Amis, Lagos, and Soniee stayed for the wedding reception. Which was minutes after the wedding. The food was great, the atmosphere was nice and the family pictures were one to remember.

As Korkie and Crosshair took their last couples photo alone. They took each other’s hand and closed their eyes. This was the best love story they had a part in. It felt like a dream come true to the both of them.

(That is my fan art of Crosshair and Korkie. It was a hard fought second place.)

#korkie kryze #crosshair #clone trooper crosshair #korkie kenobi #fennec shand #korkie x crosshair #star wars #the bad batch #clone trooper hunter #clone trooper echo #clone trooper wrecker #clone trooper tech

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larryfanficwriter98 · 4 years

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Chapter Fourteen

Harry woke up the next morning earlier than usual due to their early night yesterday. Just thinking about it made him grin, but then it made him think about his past relationship with 'douchebag' as Louis likes to call him. Or any other insult he could think of at the moment. Douchebag, or Connor, took one look at him and said it was "unnaturally large" and refused to give what he wanted to get. He had bullied Harry whenever a bulge would show in his pants and had made him get uncomfortable briefs that had a pocket to tuck everything in.

He had also made Harry tape himself down with medical tape if they went to the beach so it wouldn't be seen in photos on accident. Harry had always been self-conscious about it, it wasn't hard to notice that you were bigger than your mates in the changing rooms. Especially when one of the guys had a measuring tape and challenged everyone to measure themselves. It was obvious when everyone was 3-5 inches soft and Harry was 6 soft.

Being a little over 9 inches in length and 5 inches in girth when hard Harry had been bigger than Conner by quite a few inches. Louis hadn't seemed bothered though, in fact, he had gotten turned on as he gave Harry a blowjob. Though he did seem nervous as he had taken Harry's pants off which Harry was going to ask Louis about when he woke up. He wanted to make sure Louis was okay and hadn't been pressured or anything like that. Harry would never forgive himself if he unknowingly pressured Louis.

Harry looked over at Louis who was still fast asleep. He was curled around Harry's back being the big spoon that Harry didn't know being the little spoon felt so great. No wonder Douchebag always wanted to be the little spoon. Harry snuggled back against Louis then grimaced and lifted the blanket seeing the dried cum on his tattoo.

"Gross." Harry said then gagged at the taste of his breath, "even worse." Harry quickly climbed out of bed and headed straight to the bathroom. He quickly wet his toothbrush then slathered toothpaste on it and brushed his teeth then his tongue twice to get rid of the taste in his mouth. After that, he turned on the shower and waited for the water to heat up before he stepped under the spray.

Louis woke up to the sound of vicious teeth brushing and rolled over to see Harry in the mirror's reflection. He stared at Harry listening to him brush his teeth then he had to hide his laughter when he heard Harry gagging as he brushed his tongue. He stared at Harry's bareback and ass as he bent over the sink to spit out the foamy toothpaste. Louis grabbed his phone off his bedside table and scrolled through social media as Harry got into the shower.

He laid there for a while until he heard Harry's shower turn off then watched him leave the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. Louis climbed out of bed then headed to the closet where Harry was going through his clothing options.

"Morning handsome." Louis said smiling when Harry looked over at him with a grin

"Right back at ya." Harry said stepping up to him to kiss him

"We got any plans today?" Louis asked watching as Harry dropped the towel only to step into black briefs. He watched as Harry pulled them up then watched as he tucked himself into a pocket in his briefs that made his cock shake disappear. "What..wait..what happened to it." Louis said shocked as he eyed Harry

"It's a pocket. It's to keep it from y'know causing an outline." Harry said with a laugh

"Why?" Louis asked

"Because I don't want Harry Jr on the front page of a tabloid."

"Sweetie it wouldn't be a tabloid it'd be a Playboy." Louis told him, grinning, getting a glare from Harry, "sorry. Fine. But find other pairs. I want at least something to grab when you're hard in your pants to tease you." Harry laughed shaking his head

"All the more reason to keep them." Harry said as he grabbed some black pants and pulled them on. He had to adjust himself again and Louis watched, "I have a meeting with Columbia Records at twelve, but other than that I don't have any plans."

"The lads want to go on a triple date, Zayn and Liam, Niall and Monica, Lizzy and Hannah, and you and I. I told them I'll talk to you."

"We can do that. Those are the girls you met at the club right?"

"Yeah, Monica was the one with the birthday the night, and Hannah and Lizzy are the lesbian couple in the videos."

"What time?"

"I think Zayn said seven o'clock."

"Sounds good." Harry said pulling on a pink chain and rope print shirt and buttoning before tucking the ends in. He then pulled his pants the rest of the way up and Louis noticed they were high-waisted women's pants, but Louis didn't point it out and only admired the way his butt looked in them. He leaned over and pinched it getting a slap from Harry on his hand.

"Stop it. I'll go make breakfast and you get dressed. Or don't. Either way, I need to make breakfast because I am starving." Harry came up to him and cupped his face kissing his lips gently

"I want full English." Louis told him

"Your wish is my command." Harry said bowing dramatically before he was leaving the room.

Louis shook his head then went to the bathroom to get ready for the day. After he was cleaned and dressed and his mouth had been brushed twice he went downstairs scrolling through Twitter frowning when he saw the fans telling him to explain a photo. It took a few seconds before he found the photo that the fans were referring to. It was a dropped photo of Harry and Dickhead, but the photo was cropped so that Harry's hair was only barely seen pushed back to it looked like a recent photo, but Louis knew Harry's side profile better than anyone and his cheeks were too rounded to be recent.

"Hey, Haz do you have the full photo of this picture?" Louis asked, showing Harry the tweets, Harry looked away from his bacon turning to look at the phone frowning when he noticed what it was.

"I might in my cloud." Harry said, "my cloud password is in the drawer and you know my phone code." Louis grabbed Harry's phone on the counter then moved to the junk drawer that Harry had full of batteries, guitar picks, old planners, and other random junk that hasn't made it to the trash can two feet away. Louis grabbed the notebook that had Harry's passcodes for every account and looked four the cloud one.

"Do you know the year?" Louis asked

"Probably 2013." Louis nodded immediately going to 2013, "try like summertime...June through August I think. We spent the summer together."

"Found it. I'm going to ruin this man's life." Louis said by sending the photo to him then he got back on twitter and found the account that the photo came from and tagged it as well as Dicky's Twitter account.

@ account134527 and @ ConnorKS

Try again boo. 😘✌🏻🖕🏻

"And post." Louis said grinning as he posted the tweet with the photo of Harry and his hair pushed back from 2013. He was kissing the Twat's cheek and in the background, you could also see it was before the Wizarding World of Harry Potter had been opened for the public because they were standing near the closed-off section for construction.

"I'm sorry-"

"Sweetie don't apologize. He got a false sense of hope from your management and now he's mad you picked me over him in his head at least. It'll die down or I'll make it die down. You may treat people with kindness, but Tommo doesn't." Louis said, setting their phones down, "besides you can't blame the man you are very good looking. I'd torment you too if you upgraded."

"I don't think there is any upgrading from you." Harry said as he pulled Louis in front of him between his body and the stove, "I love you." He said kissing his neck as he turned the sausages

"I love you too." Louis said leaning his head back against Harry's shoulder, "is your meeting in person?"

"No we're meeting on google duo, they're with Sony Music, but it's a different section so we just have to talk about music and image and such."

"Sounds very boring."

"It is."

******

Louis had his MacBook opened glaring at the screen, he and Little Dick were fighting on Twitter. After Louis tweeted the real photo from 2013 Little Dick tweeted another photo of sweet innocent Harry laying on a tattoo chair getting the swallows tattoo. The butterfly stood out against the pale skin Harry had back then. So Louis had replied to the tweet,

@ account134527 @ ConnorKS thanks for being there for Harry as he got places to hide my live bites Boo.

And well apparently he didn't like that so he leaked a picture of him and Harry in California at the Hollywood sign. So Louis replied

@ account134527 @ ConnorKS wooooow you took him to a place he sees on his back patio every day when in LA...impressive. 👏🏻👏🏻

And thus it began. Louis didn't even know why he was arguing with an ex, but he was. He was very secure in his relationship with Harry so it wasn't out of insecurity, but whatever the reason Louis was winning the fight and everyone knew it.

@ account134527 @ ConnorKS the fact that you had to make a fake account just to leak photos of you two together...👀👀🙊

@ account134527 @ ConnorKS the fact that management made you believe Harry would choose you over me despite the way you treated him is fucking hilarious...

@ account134527 @ ConnorKS boo the shit I have on you... let's not go there.

@ account134527 @ ConnorKS coincidence?

Louis attached a video of "Dirty Little Secret" playing on the tv. The tweets stopped soon after that so to celebrate his victory Louis posted a short video of him and Harry a few nights ago dancing to Macarena inside the pool laughing their asses off with the words 'Look at my darling baby❤' in the tweet.

"Are you done arguing with Connor?" Harry asked laughing as he came inside from his meeting

"I think so." Louis said looking at Harry, "I won."

"You won before he even knew there was a competition." Harry told him wrapping his arms around his waist

"Oh I know that, but he doesn't have a right to expose your relationship like that."

"It's fine. The fans suspected back then, but he didn't want to be in the tabloids dating me so we kept it quiet. I'm surprised you didn't expose him for...what did you call him? A manipulative abusive little dick asshole?"

"Manipulative abusive little pecker loose asshole cheating twat." Louis corrected

"That. Yes. I'm surprised you didn't call him that."

"I almost did. I typed it a few times at least. If he responds that'll be my next tweet. It'll shut him up." Louis said, grabbing Harry's hands, "you should let me paint your nails. You have perfect nail beds. Lottie would be jealous."

"You paint mine and I'll paint yours."

"Deal. I'll go to the shops to get polish. Be back in a minute."

*******

Louis grinned as he followed Harry through the crowded rooftop dining area.

"There they are." Zayn said standing up when he saw them

"Hi, sorry traffic was horrible." Harry said hugging Zayn and Liam before leaning over to hug Niall and Monica. "Hi Ni. Hi Monica, it's lovely to meet you."

"Hi, Harry." Monica said excitedly as she hugged Harry, "hi Louis." She said, stepping over to hug Louis, "saw that fight on twitter."

"Yeah, we were just being told about it by Monica. Possessive much Lou?" Liam teased as Harry greeted Hannah and Lizzy with hugs as well

"I have no reason to worry, I just don't like him." Louis said with a shrug, "Haz is mine and if he wanted that shrimp he'd have cheated when given the opportunity enough times."

"If I wanted him I'd have stayed with him." Harry said kissing his temple, "now do we have wine coming, or have we not ordered yet?"

"Not yet we just got here not that long ago and decided to wait for you." Zayn said as they took their seats it was a square dining table with two seats on each side. Louis and Harry were sat across from Hannah and Lizzy while Niall and Monica were sat across from Zayn and Liam.

"Do we want to share mozzarella balls for an appetizer, Lou?" Harry asked

"Of course Darling." Louis said, "what are you getting for the main dish?"

"I think the chicken shawarma in their Mediterranean section." Harry said

"Ooh yeah, I saw that. I was thinking of the eggplant rollatini."

"Wanna split?"

"Deal."

"Hello I'm David and I'll be your waiter today. Are we all on one check or separate?" He asked looking around the table

"We are separated into pairs. So them two, those two, these two, and us two." Louis said pointing to each couple getting the man's attention who nodded.

"And what can I get for you?" The man asked, eyeing him and licking his lips though Louis had turned away from him and hadn't seen it though he turned when he spoke.

"Oh, ladies first. We can wait." Louis said before turning back to Niall, "are we doing anything after this?"

"We talked about going to the club if you guys are up for it."

"Can I pick the place?" Harry asked

"Yeah sure." Niall said

"Lou?"

"I'm down if you are."

"Alright. Who is our designated driver?" Harry asked looking around

"I can. You got a vehicle big enough for all of us?"

"Yeah, we can follow back to my place and get the SUV." Zayn nodded, "we can all stay there tonight I have guest rooms."

"And for you?" The waiter asked after everyone ordered looking at Louis

"Oh we will have the fried mozzarella balls as an appetizer and for the main dish I will have the eggplant rollatini." Louis told him

"Perfect. The eggplant rollatini is my favorite." He said, Louis, nodded and looked at Harry who looked highly amused.

"I will have the chicken shawarma." Harry said closing the menu

"Will that be all for you?" The man asked barely acknowledging Harry as he looked back at Louis

"Yeah, that's all thank you." Harry leaned over and kissed Louis' cheek laughing when the man turned away with more hip movement than necessary.

"Is there anything else I can do for you." Harry teased leaning over

"Absolutely anything." Liam said batting his eyelashes

"Please sir I'm all but stripping for you." Niall said laughing

"Stop it. It's not funny. What kind of guy does that in front of someone's boyfriend even." Harry laughed squeezing his thigh as he leaned over to whisper in his ear

"Do you think he'd get the message if we snog?" Louis laughed turning to Harry to whisper in his ear as well

"He'd probably get hard. Best not risk it." Harry laughed nodding as he squeezed Louis' thigh before pulling away. The rest of the dinner was filled with laughter, storytelling, many wine glasses, and delicious food. There were also pictures as a group from someone's phone as they all huddled together when Lizzy pulled out a selfie stick from her purse.

"Why do you have that in your purse?" Louis asked

"Never question what is inside a lesbian couple's purse." She said as she extended it then took the phone as placed it on the holder. "Now huddle together everyone. Harry, stop looking at Louis and look at the camera. We already have photos of you two looking like sappy teenagers." Louis laughed as he looked at Harry who was staring at him with a grin. Louis leaned over and kissed him ignoring the groans from the couples.

"I got an idea." Niall said pulling his phone out and going to Instagram, he got on Louis' page then got on a picture of Louis standing in nothing but Harry's lilac sweater with his a side profile showing off his ass. "Harry, look it's a picture of Louis ass. Looky looky." Despite the fact that Harry was kissing Louis it actually worked because Harry turned away and looked.

"What?" Harry asked looking around until he spotted the phone with the photo over the phone on the selfie stick.

"Quick do it." Louis tried every hard not to laugh as his boyfriend with eyes glued to the photo. Harry grinned as his hand went down to grab Louis' cheek squeezing it. It didn't last long, only enough for two photos then Harry was looking at him again.

"Smart man you've got there Monica." Hannah said

"I just know Harry's weak spot is Louis, but if Louis beside him he needed something stronger." Niall said looking at Harry and Louis who were back in their own world talking with each other, "besides everyone loves Louis' ass."

"Thanks. You get the tip baby and I'll pay for this." Louis said taking the bill the waiter was handing out to the respected couples. He opened it just to make sure it was the right one before he kissed Harry and pulled his wallet out. Harry pouted but pulled out his own wallet and tossed two £50 down, "Harold you can't tip more than the bill." Louis said grabbing it and handing it back to him

"Let me tip whatever I want mister bill payer." Harry said putting down two hundred just to spite Louis

"Harry, he was rude the entire time to everyone except myself and completely ignored our relationship. I am not letting you tip him two hundred just because."

"Louis he could strip for you and I wouldn't care because you're still coming home with me at the end of the night so I win. Now let me tip him." Louis huffed rolling his eyes as he pulled out a £50 and a £20 and put it in the billfold. He flipped the receipt over and wrote,

"You're lucky I'm not in charge of the tip and my boyfriend is a kind person. You were an ass all night. I'd have given you the minimum 10% and be done with it. In case you don't know math that's a fiver and some change. Be kind to people and respect their relationship.

--Louisxxx"

He tossed the black folder down on the table and Monica immediately took it to read it snorting.

"I like the Tommo way." She said as she handed it to Hannah and Lizzy, Lizzy immediately taking a picture of it. She was addicted to her Instagrams they've learned over dinner, because yes she has more than one account. One for her personal use and one for her photography that she does on the side. They stood around waiting for their billfolds and when they got them Louis made sure to count the bills.

"Here have his number." Louis said handing the £5 to Harry who took it then tossed it in the tip pile. There was Harry's two £50, three £10, and now £5. Louis was very tempted to take a 50 and shove it in Harry's pocket, but he wouldn't do that. If Harry wanted to kill them with kindness then so be it.

"A £185 tip, he better use it wisely." Liam said

"Tempted to take the- actually I am." Louis took the five and headed to the table where a little girl was with her family. She had been very eager to ask Harry for a photo, but her parents had talked her out of it to wait until Harry ate his meal. "Here you go, Sweetie. You buy yourself something next time your parents take you to the shops yeah?" Harry said handing the little girl £25

"Really?"

"Yeah. The five have numbers on it, but it's still good."

"Thank you."

"You're quite welcome. You deserve more than our waiter does and you were very polite to wait to ask Harry for a photo so you definitely deserve it." Louis was taken by surprise by the hug the little girl gave him, but it was a nice surprise that he returned before heading back to their table. "You can be mad at me tomorrow, tonight we are clubbing." Louis said to Harry as he slipped his arms in the jacket Harry was holding for him.

"I think you're petty in the best way, but I'm not mad. I love you and with that comes your sassy attitude. Which I love as well. Besides you made her night." They all headed outside and got in their respected cars and followed back to Harry's place. Harry got the keys for the SUV and they all got in so Harry could drive to the club. It was a bit more upscale as in there was a second entrance that Harry and they took so they weren't spotted by anyone yet then they were led to the VIP balcony with a bar and tables and lounges.

"I'll go get a tab open, what does everyone want?" Harry asked as they sat at a square bar height table, the same seating arrangement from the restaurant. Harry got everyone's drink and went off to the bar coming back minutes later with a tray of various drinks.

"Now you owe me a dance." Harry said pressing against Louis from behind

"I don't dance until I'm drunk. You'll have to keep the drinks coming." Louis told him even if he pressed his hips back against Harry's.

"What's the fastest way to get you drunk?" Harry asked

"Whiskey gets Louis plastered for a week." Liam said

"What about you Styles." Louis said, turning to face Harry as he wrapped an arm around Harry's neck while his other hand held his beer glass, "what gets you plastered?"

"I'm not telling you anything." Harry said, taking a sip from his...slushie.

"What are you drinking." Louis said grinning as he grabbed Harry's wrist and pulled it towards him. He looked up at Harry as he licked the slushie teasingly tasting the refreshing flavor of watermelon with a kick of gin that had Louis grimacing slightly. "Gin. You hate the taste of beer, but you drink gin."

"I like alcohol you can mix with. Watermelon gin slushie and if you lick it like that again we're taking an uber home right now."

"Oh?" Louis leaned over to lick it again, but Harry took it away.

"Stop it Lewis."

"Oh, we are breaking up over that." Louis said though despite his words he still kept his arm around his neck.

"Alright, love birds we are off to the dance floor." Lizzy said, "Liam and Zayn are staying here to watch the drinks."

"You sure?" Harry asked looking at the couple

"Yeah, we're fine really. You lads go have fun." Liam said as he hung on Zayn

"Alright. Have fun. Drink a beer or two lads I've been in the car with you guys after a whiskey shot and we all survived."

"Maybe a beer, but really Lou we went out last weekend just the two of us so we're not in the mood for another hangover so soon. Now go."

"Alright. Come on Haz we can dance with the others."

************

The night carried on until last call surprisingly, despite Liam and Zayn not drinking they joined them on the dance floor every now and again. Louis and Harry were always found with their tongues down each other's throats and a hand somewhere inappropriate. Liam and Zayn had to drag the drunk couples all the way back to the SUV and Louis didn't give a damn that he was sitting right beside Monica. Louis threw a leg over Harry's hip and straddled his lap.

"You're so cute. You're like the cutest little thing ever." Louis said cupping Harry's face to kiss him on his cheeks and lips

"You're beautiful and pretty and cute and adorable and tiny and small." Harry said snuggling into Louis' neck, "you're my best friend." Louis giggled drunkenly

"You're my best friend too cutie." Louis said

"You're my sweet little creature."

"I'm going to puke." Zayn moaned from upfront

"Tell me about it." Monica said from beside them

"I love your voice. You should like become a singer. You have such a pretty voice." Harry said

"Wait Louis sings?!" Monica, Lizzy, and Hannah shouted

"He sings to me when he wakes up first." Harry said, "he's so precocious. I love him." The car ride to the house was with Harry proclaiming his love for Louis every five seconds. They all stumbled out and Zayn and Liam helped everyone to guest rooms while Harry and Louis hurried to the bedroom locking the door behind them as they struggled to undress then climb into bed together.

"Be the big spoon." Harry said, pulling Louis against his back, "I like being the little spoon."

"My giant little spoon." Louis said affectionately kissing Harry's bare shoulder

#Larry Stylinson #larry fanfiction #larry stylinson fanfiction #larry fic #New Chapter #archive of our own #Wattpad

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darlingnisi · 5 years

Text

Celebration 2019 VIP Day 3

Opening Session

Spirited start to the day! Fams started a party line around the soundstage to Let’s Work.

JD Steele also led us in a sing along of Raspberry Beret

Bob Cavallo

Moderated by Bobby Z

Earth Wind and Fire’s studio the Complex was the inspiration for Paisley Park. They filmed pickups for Purple Rain there and Prince told Cavallo “I want want one of these”

WB didn’t know much about Purple Rain until it was almost done. It was financially backed by Prince and Cavallo ( Cavallo said he only contributed about 20%...the rest was Prince’s money or advances on his royalties)

Cavallo’s management agreement was about to run out. He told Steve Fargnoli to try to get a Prince to sign a contract for 5 more years. Prince said “I’ll sign one if you get me a movie and not about some drug dealer and jeweler...and I want my name above the title.

They had trouble getting people on board to write the movie William (Bill) Glenn (of Brian’s Song) wrote the first version but it was “not edgy enough...too TV”

No director would sign with them

Watched a movie called Reckless. There was a kid sitting behind him who asked what he thought. Cavallo said it was okay...the kid said “Well I edited it.”

Cavallo had dinner with Albert Magnoli the writer of that movie to see if he’d sign on for Purple Rain. He initially passed. Cavallo “You passed? You don’t have a pot to piss in and you pass? I’d pay you 75k and you’re passing.” Magnoli thought it was too square. Cavallo “Then rewrite it”

“Mo Austin didn’t have anything to do with Purple Rain”

“He made that movie Paul Simon made. That was a failure.”

WB passed on producing the movie, Guber Peters also passed, as well as others

Richard Pryor’s company Indigo Films did NOT pass! Jim Brown (the football player) was CEO at the time. Both Richard and Jim were thrilled to do it! However Jim got mad that Cavallo hired a cinematographer without checking with him as he wanted to hire Black staff to support the project. Bob said he didn’t have time to wait to find some so Indigo dropped the project.

They had a completion bond gaurantor for the film and ended up being 3-4 weeks behind at one point. To catch up, they got more cameras and filmed the movie at multiple angles vs doing several takes. This caught them up.

Promo department thought When Doves Cry was a flop. They wanted Let’s Go Crazy to be the lead single.

Cavallo managed Earth Wind & Fire. (Other info about Cavallo opening a night club his senior year of college which was very successful. Bill Cosby opened for acts when he was coming up on the scene. “He met his wife there and I guess he did other things...” *groan from the audience

On how Cavallo and Prince first linked up Prince had gone to an EWF show and said “When I saw that show, it scared me. I don’t know if I can do something that good.” Asked to meet their manager. Cavallo went to see his show...where he was wearing a Trench coat, panty hose, and g-string. He said “Well young man...show was great....but I don’t think it’s alright to go out on stage in your underwear.”

Prince : Okay I’ll take them off.

He said there was maybe 20 people at that particular show

Purple Rain was made with 7.6 million dollars

They had to fight to get it into theaters to show it. “It was the race thing”

Even WB wasn’t on board at first as a distributor. Cavallo was trying to rally them “If you’re a young Black person age 11-30 and you see Prince headlining his own movie, you’ll go see it opening night.”

At first they could only get a couple of theaters...and were told they couldn’t do it in the south because they were worried about race riots.

Cavallo went to the Chairman of WB with his case and he was on board “Get me 800 theaters or I’ll get someone who will”. (These days movies open in about 2k theaters in the US)

Prince got 15% gross cash guarantee for 3 films

The Purple Rain sequel pitch Cavallo had for Prince was Purple Rain 2 : Further Adventures of The Time. The Time went to Vegas and got in trouble with the mob and cops. Only showgirls liked them. Prince wasn’t in it except for a cameo to give advice.

He also tried to get P to get Madonna to star in Under The Cherry Moon

Prince wrote Under the Cherry Moon even though there’s another name on it.

Cavallo wasn’t a fan of Kristin Scott Thomas as the star. He gave Prince a tape of the options for actresses and put her last.

Prince : “I see why you put her last in the group of girls you figured she would outshine the others!”

Cavallo went on to manage the Disney music catalog among other numerous things.

“The greatest joy I had in the music business was with Prince”

A memory : Prince calls “When are you gonna stop beating that dead horse?”

Cavallo : “What dead horse”

Prince : Earth Wind and Fire

Cavallo scolds him for saying such things

Prince : If you knew how good I was, you’d be meet me in Minneapolis

Cavallo thought about how cold it was there and sent Fargnoli instead

Tour Part 2

Video editing bay

More from Vienna 2014

Forever in My Life (With a Bass solo by P...noticed his voice and bass were turned WAY up in the mix)

Controversy

1999

Atrium

I had to smh at Peach being played during the moment of silence haha gosh #bouncingtitties

Cream top is in the Diamonds and Pearls room which is where I usually spend most of my time watching the show footage in there

Studio B

Nothing really new here if you’ve done a VIP or Ultimate VIP tour.

The isolated vocals for Breakdown are still in the control room

We took pictures with one of the P mic stand Symbols.

The coat on display on the right is the same one he’s wearing on the left

Screening

Musicology May 28, 2004 (Shout out to his sneakers)

Let’s Go Crazy

I Would Die 4 U

When Doves Cry

Baby I’m a Star

Shhh (Good job on the slow pans up his body btw)

DMSR

Acoustic Set (Little Red Corvette, Cream, Raspberry Beret 12:01, Adore, Sweet Thing, Dear Mr Man/Hit the Road Jack, 7) He was super chatty during this. Told the story of going to an after party from the previous night and a “da-runk” (how he said it lolol) guy told him his favorite song was Strawberry Barrette. P made sure to sing that as the lyric when he did Raspbert Beret.

The Funk Soldiers Concert

(I def sprinted up to the front for this! This is MY CREW!)

Rock and Roll is Alive

Chelsea Rogers

Party Up

Black Muse 🙌🏾

Life of the Party

13 They had a dance troupe of 6 young Black girls from a dance studio Prince donated to dancing to this and it gave me LIFE! SO cute and completely appropriate!

You Make My Sun Shine

SHADES OF UMBER OMG 🙌🏾 (Sorry for how I tweeted about this btw, this is what I meant as a nod to the boot listeners. One of the only times this was performed live was at Montreux 2013. It was also extra special because they had local young people doing this song with them and it sounded FANTASTIC!)

Why You Wanna Treat Me So Bad

Guitar

Act of God

This was my favorite concert of all of them truly! They added nice touches like playing associated videos behind them or displaying the album art of the albums they were playing from. Their show is always a cross catalog musicology lesson of P’s discog and I appreciate that so much!

Also briefly talked to some reps from Sony again this day. I will say from our conversation I do trust that team with P’s music. They were not suits, they were FANS. Talked deep cuts and Prince nerd geekery with them. Really appreciate that the people trying to do things there are fams as much as we all are, truly. (No seriously I was like don’t look too close at my social media please and we laughed about it). Very excited about stuff that’s on the way! (Different department than the purple wax stuff so don’t ask, lol...)

Probably my favorite day of the 3 guys wow.

#prince #princecelebration2019 #there will be typos #look for the general info as usual

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erynalicia · 5 years

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This weekend, I had the great pleasure to meet the man that inspired my character Alexander Bronwyn from Falling for Hope, actor Adam Croasdell.

Adam Croasdell – a man of many talents

Adam Croasdell as Eccarius – Preacher _ Season 3, Episode 6 – Photo Credit: Alfonso Bresciani/AMC/Sony Pictures Television

Reign Episode 408 “Uncharted Waters Trailer” (screen grab) CR: The CW

Adam is best known for his acting on stage, television, and film; as well as voice acting for a video games and cartoons. I met him through social media about three years ago when he introduced himself to the Once Upon A Time fandom as “Papa Hook” (Captain Hook’s estranged, dastardly father). Incredibly friendly and tweetative (talkative), he and I hit it off. I happened to just be finishing Falling for Phoenix and desperate to go right into the next story. I had a loose plot but no particulars until Adam starting tweeting about what life on the seas with little Killian and Liam Jones would be like. Somehow that triggered my thoughts into seeing him play a father to young children.

My tweet to Adam with the buds of plot thoughts in my head. Oct. 27, 2015 – notice his icon is the gold triangle and he’d liked it.

My bud of a plan about a man searching for his birth family in order to find a blood marrow donor for his son suddenly had a father figure –Adam.

I wrote him back then about my idea and asked if he minded if I based this character after him. He was honored, and the book was written.

But after all this time with notes back and forth, becoming online friends, and professional colleagues we had never met… that is until this past Saturday afternoon, February 16, 2019.

I caught my first glimpse of the back of his head walking into one of the convention’s room where he was going to do a panel on acting and voice acting, and decided to peek around the corner to see where he had gone in the room. He was sitting in a chair behind the other guests finishing up the panel in session. I waited. Then as the guests began to file out, I started in.

He didn’t see me at first, then looked over his shoulder as perhaps my presence was felt. With a big smile on his face, he said, “Eryn, I was wondering when I’d see you,” and immediately stood from his chair with open arms. We clasped each other in a long awaited embrace, laughing with glee for finally meeting each other. He wasn’t some fancy-dancy television star; not a voice actor with the most perfect baritone British accent… he was my friend and even more so — he was my Alexander Bronwyn in real life. I was more than elated.

After pleasantries and compliments, Adam asked if my husband and son came with me. I said, “Just my son,” and called Cameron in.

With a big handshake and rich baritone British accent he said, “Cameron, nice to meet you, mate.” (I did giggle a little then over the fact that he called my son mate… probably the only fangirl thing I did).

Adam spoke with Cam a bit about video games and the convention. When the conversation turned to how long did the drive take and who else we liked here, we could honestly say, “We only know you.”

Adam was genuinely touched. It was then I could tell him how important his being was to me seeing he was the reason my character my created. Now, as I’ve discussed on my website before and now with Adam, I had a very rough time in losing my precious Marley last October. My motivation was shot, my creative ideas were gone, any concentration I had was lost; I honestly didn’t know if continuing writing was possible for me. Seeing a character of mine in flesh and blood was important to my healing but what I didn’t expect was the uplifting motivation Adam gave to me from one professional in a tough career to another.

From the long table that sat before the audience of cosplayers and comic enthusiasts, Adam introduced me as his friend, and published author. He went on to tell the room how important writing is as a craft. “Acting is wonderful,” he said with grandiose bravado, “But writing… ahh, there you have all those thoughts and words down on paper and you can pass them across a desk and say, ‘not only am I an actor, but I am a writer as well.'”

He continued to say hone your craft, keep working, keep improving and never ever give up. Don’t leave an unfinished job as it is detrimental to the psyche. Such wonderful, uplifting words not just for me, but everyone to hear.

Later, during the autograph session, Adam was a love and signed a few things for me, including the dedication page of Falling for Hope, and happily posed for a few photographs with the book included. I won’t share what he wrote inside that book, because it is very touching and special to only me, but let’s just say it is a day and a character that I will never forget, and my dreams will never die. You will see more from this author… a lot more.

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Meeting Alexander Bronwyn aka Adam Croasdell This weekend, I had the great pleasure to meet the man that inspired my character Alexander Bronwyn from…

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dailytechnologynews · 5 years

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Why the AMD keynote at CES was what it was

First thing to understand is what the target audience for keynotes like these are. As much as you'd like to hope it is, they are very much not made for average consumers like us. Keynotes at big events like these are primarily made for investors and potential large corporate customers and partners.

See, AMD had a couple of things they had to prove and showcase here

Being able to compete with Intel in the CPU market

Being able to compete with nVidia in the GPU market

Having a clear path to increasing market share in existing market areas

Expanding into new and emerging market areas

And they did exactly that.

Now, let's break down the presentation, you can rewatch it here

16:30 - Introduction by Gary Shapiro

This is the general "look guys, we're important, some important guy from another big company is introducing us". Yes, it's boring, but it's there to prove a point that AMD is now one of the big boys again. The introduction even emphasises that this is AMD's first time having such a keynote at CES

20:58 - Lisa Su's opening presentation

This starts off with the usual "look where we came from and look where we are now" spiel to please investors and give the entire keynote some initial forward momentum.

She gives some initial hooks here that they keynote will try to build further on, such as pointing out what the projected growing demand for compute will be, then following up by essentially saying "we have answers for all of this". This is a flag again for investors and partners: the market will change, and we're the partner for you to face this challenge.

29:30 - High Performance PCs

This part of the presentation is mainly about content creators, which is why Threadripper takes center stage. This part build on from the introduction to expand on just how they have changed the market in the last 2 years and how they have made inroads in the existing, and quite lucrative, creators market. This is why they have those guys from Fox VFX talking, they want to show they have actual big customers using their product, which pleases investors and can get them potentially more customers, as this is a market where having references is a big thing.

As a sidenote, it's funny that she makes it sound like Threadripper was a planned product from the start, while we all know that Threadripper was a passion project by AMD engineers who basically went "hey, we have EPYC, maybe we can make a HEDT platform out of this too?".

35:35 - Ultrathin notebooks

This part exists to showcase "hey guys, we HAVE made great inroads in the mobile market, contrary to what you might have thought". Intel and Microsoft has also redoubled their efforts to make laptops relevant again in this modern tablet and mobile dominated market. This is why she points to the Modern Windows PC initiative. The showcase here is "we're not missing this boat now that we actually have something that is competitive". She ends this part with again showcasing they already have partners with products lined up, a flag for investors.

39:31 - PCs for education

This part is to showcase they have products to make inroads in the education market. Education is a BIG market. Depending on the area they either need powerful devices (STEM, research) or cheap devices (Chromebooks).

43:07 - Gaming : Microsoft

This part is to showcase their existing partnership with large players. Why Microsoft is here and not say, Sony, is that Microsoft represents 3 markets for them: console gaming (XBox One), PC gaming (Windows) and cloud gaming (Azure). Cloud gaming is an emerging market and is expected to grow significantly. It's another investor hook to show "look, we have a great installed base, and we're making great inroads into new market areas, which will lead to future growth of the company".

51:00 - GPU technology retrospective

This part is again a recap of what they have already created. It exists to emphasise their current market positioning and market share (which is again, a flag for investors and potential partners), and serves as a jump-off point for the next part.

53:40 - Radeon VII, part 1

The Radeon VII exists because they had to present something that could go toe to toe with the nVidia RTX2080. That was the only thing that mattered. This is emphasised by the comparison charts she projects. The game demo is a bit lame, but it just serves to showcase "we're not making this up, it does perform", and serves as a hook for the later "yeah it's 699, but you're getting games with it! So it's really not that bad!".

Ubisoft is on there, talking about how they are partnering in development with AMD. The hook here is to show that AMD is still closely working with game developers, and that it's not just nVidia being the only one calling the shots.

1:06:13 - eSports

Intermezzo. eSports is a decently big enough market to warrant another "hey guys, we're in this as well" showcase. Again, investor and partner hook. The guy from Fenetic is there to just drive the point home.

1:12:40 - Radeon VII, part 2

The pricetag is dropped: 699, but with game bundled. Yes, we (as gamers/enthousiast) all were dissapointed by this.

But, if I can make a sidestep here to explain why AMD made this move. As I mentioned: they had to have something to compete with the nVidia RTX 2080. But, the thing is, this is actually a really niche part of the market. Most of the market is in the RX560/GTX1050Ti range. When it came to raw specs, they had a product that would fit : the Radeon Instinct MI50, as it is based on 7nm Vega. But, the MI50 is a datacenter part, and is manufacturerd with 16GB of HBM2. Remember, this comes as one big package, to make an 8GB variant they'd have to create a whole new package. So AMD is faced with a choice

Don't compete with the RTX 2080

Create a new 8GB package

Use the existing 16GB package from the MI50

First one is not an option if they don't want to fall flat for their investors. Second one doesn't really have enough volume behind it to make any kind of positive business case, so all that was left was the third option. But, they can't quite sell these cards at a loss, so they were pretty much forced to use the 699 price tag. Is there some margin to lower the price later? Of course there is, but not enough margin to start the price off at 649 or lower.

The Radeon VII really is their "damned if you do, damned if you don't" GPU.

Will it sell? Of course it will, those who really want a 7nm Vega will buy it anyway, those people were clamoring for it loud enough. Will it sell in high volumes? We'll have to see.

1:13:34 - Cloud gaming

Another partner and investor hook showing how they're making inroads in this emerging market with their product stack. They showcase Google Project Stream, because hey, Google is a big partner to be able to show you're doing business with.

1:16:30 - High Performance Computing : AMD EPYC server CPUs

This reiterates what they already have in the pipeline for the datacenter world. Yes, it's CES, and the C stands for Consumer, but remember, investors and partners, and many of those partners will also be interested in servers.

She drops here that 2nd gen EPYC will launch mid 2019. This simultaneously shows that their product is nearing completion (in the server world, 6 months is nothing), but also is a small hint for what she will say in the next part.

1:24:57 - 3rd Generation Ryzen based on Zen 2

Here they had to showcase they were able to compete with Intel. Zen2 for desktop is still on engineering samples, but they had to showcase it (again, investors and partners), and they needed to show they could go toe to toe with the best Intel had to offer right now. And they did, even showcasing they did it for less power draw. The demo was simple, but it sufficiently drove the point home that she had to make.

Showing the delidded CPU was also an obvious hook to what is to come. We saw the IO die, we saw one 8 core chiplet, and we saw there is enough room on there for another component, be it another core chiplet or a GPU. This is deliberately done at the end of the presentation to end on a note that will get everyone hyped again for the possibilities of 16C/32T CPUs and 8C/16T APUs. It also served to soften the dissapointment of a mid 2019 launch. This mid 2019 launch window matches the 2nd gen EPYC launch window she mentioned early, pointing out to investors and partners that this is just the timeframe that is needed to get Zen 2 to the neccesary maturity level for a succesful product launch.

1:31:52 - Closing off the keynote

A recap of what was shown, and a re-emphasis that AMD is investing in what is needed.

To cap off my post

Well, this is probably the longest post I've ever written. It's based on my experience in the corporate world and with these kinds of presentations (I tend to go to some of these events for my job, so I knew what to expect of these kinds of keynotes).

I should note I originally posted this on /r/amd but the content was shadowremoved there for some reason.

#hardware #Computer #Technology #Tech #News

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crappierpasta · 6 years

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Super Mario 128

Mario has been a gaming icon for decades and has been in more games than can be counted. Although no year in recent memory has gone without some type of Mario game being released, series fans will remember the nearly decade long drought of original Mario platformers. From 1997-2005, there was only one new Mario platformer released: Super Mario Sunshine. During the second part of this drought (after Sunshine's release), the mysterious Super Mario 128 was the main focus of the fanbase.

No concret information was given on the game. Eventually, series creator Shigeru Miyamoto claimed it had simply been a series of test concepts that were never intended to be an actual game. The mystery faded from memory as the Mario drought finally ended. Most people forgot about the "game" that had once been the center of every Mario fan's imagination.

The Mario drought corresponded with a bad era for Nintendo, in terms of console sales. The Nintendo 64 and Gamecube did not have the financial success of the earlier Nintendo Entertainment System, Super Nintendo, or the later Nintendo Wii. For a very proud company that relied solely on video games to make money, this was quite upsetting for the higher ranking employees attached to the company, and felt its success or failure reflected on them personally.

Nintendo started working on a sequel to the 1996 game Super Mario 64 shortly after it released, but during the late 90s it became clear that Nintendo wasn't winning the console war. The sequel was restarted from scratch, since the company believed it was not a substantial enough improvement over the original to turn the tides of the market battle.

Seeing the generally more realistic and violent games on Sony's Playstation (the market leader), Nintendo considered making a game that was closer in tone to what the public seemed to want. There was quite a bit of internal conflict over how far to go with this new direction, and the new Mario was clearly not going to be ready until Nintendo's next console, the Gamecube, released. The only hint of this that was released to the public was a comment by Miyamoto that he thought Mario and Luigi should "act more like grown ups" in their games for the (then unreleased) Gamecube.

The new game was ultimately split into two games: Luigi's Mansion, which reflected the darker tone many felt the series should turn to (though it was toned down quite a bit compared to what some wanted), and Super Mario Sunshine, wich went in the opposite direction. Both were released within a year of the Gamecube and Nintendo felt confident their new system and Mario games would return them to their former glory as market leader.

As those familiar with gaming history, they didn't. The Gamecube did even worse in market share than the Nintendo 64. The mass market's tastes shifted even more toward violent, realistic games. During this period, the somber mood at Nintendo intensified and the darker Mario project was revived. It was code named "Super Mario 128." It isn't clear what happened at Nintendo during this period. As we know, nothing called Super Mario 128 was ever released or publicly shown.

The source that revealed the internal strife at Nintendo during the later portion of the Nintendo 64's era refused to discuss what was happening during the time of the Gamecube's failure, but released a prototype of the game online that can be played on the Wii's Homebrew Channel. The following is a recollection of my time playing it.

It was clearly an early beta. The title screen was nothing but white text saying "Super Mario 128" against a black background. There was no options menu or save file selection. After the title screen, the game started. Bowser's laugh from Super Mario 64 looped in the background as a plain white text box displayed some dialogue.

Mario, I have taken Princess Peach. She will not live to see the sun rise unless you take her place. You know what to do and where to go. Do not try to stop me unless you want to hasten her death.

The game certainly had the darker tone they were going for. I was thrust right into the game. The first thing I noticed was Mario. His body was as detailed as he was in Super Mario Galaxy (though with more realistic proportions), but his head was taken directly from Super Mario 64. Obviously, his design wasn't finished yet.

The setting was a sky level. There were simple platforms floating in the air, and the rest of the area was a plain blue sky with several clouds scrolling in the background. The clouds seemed somewhat more realistic than the usual cartoony puffs seen in Mario games. They were quite impressive to watch. There was no music or full voice samples from Mario, but there were sound effects when he jumped. The jumping was actually more subdued. Mario didn't jump as high as he usually did, and had little control over his movement in the air. The different types of jumps seen in every 3D Mario up to this point weren't present.

I played through the level. There was nothing especially notable about the gameplay. I didn't even see any enemies (I don't think they were added yet). I just jumped from platform to platform - it wasn't very challenging. As I played, I noticed the graphics gradually changing. The sky became more and more cloudy until I couldn't see past the clouds. Even those began turning a dark grey. At some point, it began to rain. I reached a small platform with a Toad on it. It looked like the same model from Super Mario Galaxy. When I landed, a dialogue box appeared.

We don't want you any more, Mario. You don't belong here. Just give Bowser what he wants. Die.

After the box disappeared, I no longer had control of Mario. He stood there for a moment, turned around, and walked off the platform. His body appeared to ragdoll a little as he fell. Eventually, a realistic, modern city faded into view. The buildings looked a bit neglected, but there were people walking around on the street. Mario hit the ground with a realistic-sounding thud, but didn't explode or show any visible wounds. He laid there. The people in the city kept walking by, ignoring him. I swear I saw a few glance over with a cold, almost angry expression. This went on for a few moments and people gradually stopped appearing. Mario got up - I was back in control - but he couldn't jump and hada reduced walking speed.

The large buildings didn't appear to be interactive, so I kept walking down the street. Eventually, I found a small house that seemed out of place among the skyscrapers. When I approached the door, Mario opened it. The screen faded to white and some black text appeared. It looked kind of like the level select screen from Super Mario 64.

House of Torn Memories

It looked like a level title. When I pressed a button, the screen faded back in. Mario was inside what appeared to be the house form before, but everything seemed bigger than it should have. It wasn't gigantic, like Big-Tiny World from Mario 64, but seemed more like it was scaled in a way to make Mario the size of a small child. The house was filled with average household objects, covered in dust and showing signs of neglect. There were no people on the ground floor, only things like broken lamps and rotted food. I found a door that opened to a set of stairs going down, leading to a basement.

In the basement, I found a dilapidated couch and a broken-looking TV. However, what really caught my attention was what resided on the couch: two skeletons, around the size of children. Due to the scale of the house, they were still larger than Mario. I was disturbed by now. How had a Mario game containing stuff like this been programmed to this extent?

I went up to the skeletons and tried pressing buttons to interact with them or the TV, but nothing happened. I went to turn around and look elsewhere, but a loud crash came from the game and nearly scared me to death. What could have been Bowser broke through the floor from below and landed in front of Mario. I say "what could have been" because this thing only vaguely looked like Bowser. The reptilian monster had Bowser's basic color scheme, but looked far more threatening than any iteration of the character I'd seen before.

It was not proportioned like the Bowser I knew. Its arms and legs were far longer in relation to its body, and ended in razor-sharp claws. The green shell didn't look like it had spikes glued on - they were more jagged and organic-looking, with the same dark green color the rest of the shell had. The face had small but intense black eyes, and a mouth full of jagged teeth that took up far more of the face than it should have. Mario cowered in fear from this thing. A dialogue box appeared, too.

You've kept me waiting long enough, Mario. I will taste flesh soon. Will you finally surrender, or does Princess Peach have to die?

I didn't have control anymore. Mario stood there, shivering for several seconds before nodding his head. Bowser impaled him with his claws. There was no blood, but it was clear from the animation and sound effects that the sharp digits of Bowser's hands had gone through Mario's body. In one swift motion, Bowser dragged Mario up to his face and bit his head off. Again, there was no blood or graphic detail left on Mario's neck - just Mario's character model being destroyed. The screen faded to black. In white text, another "level" name appeared.

Mario's Eternal Home

Mario's character model was whole again when the level started. It was the only thing on-screen aside from a black background. He was floating, as if in space. I could somewhat control it, but it felt more like I was deciding the general direction in which Mario would tumble than fully controlling him. As I drifted toward no apparent destination, voices faded in. They were echoing, deep voices telling Mario he was worthless. That the world no longer had use for him and everyone would be better off if he was dead.

High-pitched crying was layered on top of the voices after a bit. It sounded like it was supposed to be Mario's cries. This really disturbed me - I found myself fighting back tears. For reasons I couldn't understand, this was affecting me on an emotional level. The voices and aimless wandering went on for several minutes, until I spotted a light grey speck in the distance. I moved toward it. It took a long time to reach, growing closer at a much slower rate than I thought it should have.

When I was close enough to make it out, I saw it was a tombstone. It was plain, with cracks in several places. when I got right next to it, I could see writing. I turned off the system after reading it. I'm not going to play the beta or hack, or whatever this was, again. There was a single word on the tombstone.

Innocence

Written by KI Simpson.

#Creepypasta #Super Mario #Mario #Super Mario 128 #Beta #Hack #House of Torn Memories #Mario's Eternal Home #Death #Innocence #KI Simpson

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surveys-at-your-service · 6 years

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Survey #134

“i got detention ‘cuz i made a face; nobody believed me that it’s stuck that way.”

If you were to die today would your life be complete? No. How good is Coca-Cola? It's my second-favorite soda. Who was the last person you took a picture with?  My niece Aubree <3 Do you have a bad temper?   No. Do you know anyone who is pregnant right now?  One acquaintance, one old friend off the top of my head. Have you ever had someone pick you up off the ground and carry you? Mom when I passed out. If you were in the hospital, do you think any of your exes would come see you? Girt probably would, and he's the only one I wouldn't have a problem with visiting. If you were kicked out of your house, would the last person you texted take you in? I'm sure they would, but it's more realistic I'd live with my dad. If you were immortal for a day, what would you do? Skydive. What fictional place would you most like to go to? Yo can I go to Azeroth. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished? UHHHHHH. I'm honestly not quite sure. But Mark is like super high on the list, if not #1. I'm not well-informed on a lot of people's accomplishments lajsfdaowe. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way? Hmmmm. Good question. What is one thing you really want but can’t afford? Lmao dude I want so many expensive things atm. What is the most impressive thing you know how to do? I almost snorted reading this question because like do you honestly expect something impressive of me. I... guess I understand Sony Vegas well? What are some of the turning points in your life? Uhhhh meeting my ex, the divorce, discovering my passion for photography, the breakup, re-uniting with Dad, r e c o v e r y. What’s your cure for hiccups? NOTHING. NOTHING WORKS. Don’t you think it’d be cool to see a colossal squid? FUCKING NOPE THEY ARE SPAWNS OF THE NIGHTMARE REALM. What kind of steak do you prefer? When I ate meat, I liked medium well. Has anyone ever cheated on their significant other with you? Yes, allow me to (not) tell you about my stupid 12-year-old self. Are you fascinated by outer space? *cue the Mark "Space is Cool" mix* Do you answer your phone when it’s a number you don’t recognize? Never. When washing your hands, do you wet your hands or put soap on first? Put the soap on. When was the hardest you ever cried? What was the circumstance? The night of the breakup. I had left the house to walk to Jason's, and Mom got in the car and kept driving in front of me to stop me (I was too practically catatonic to run). Eventually gave up, she drove me home, and when she opened the door, it was my goal to run to the kitchen and slit my throat, but the moment I made the action to run, she pretty much tackled me and I sobbed my lungs out for like 30 minutes. Fuck that entire night. Who were your last 3 Facebook messages from and what do they say? "lol but hey thats the world we live in lol well goodnight honey and i hope to speak to u again" from Leslie, "How quaint O:" from Girt, "Its okay :)" from Amanda. Who was the last person to comment on your Facebook status? What does the comment say? Sara saying "YEP" when I shared a picture of straight people dating versus lesbians and it was spot-on. Which do you use the most, smiley faces, kisses or hearts? Faces, probs. Do you like sweet or salty popcorn? Ohhhh both. But I've gotta side with salty. Have you ever had to put your hand over someone’s mouth to keep them quiet? Once. Have you ever fed a wild animal? Yes. The last time you packed, where were you going? Sara's. Do you believe in astrology? Definitely not. Do you have an accent? Not really, but you can pick up a southern tone with some words. Example, my "your" sounds more like "yer," usually. Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear? No. Do you sing in the shower? I have been a tad bit lately... I used to never. Are you satisfied with your current camera? My phone camera is SHIT, and I need a new actual camera. 55-200mm lens is broken, the other one's automatic focus setting is and I'm not great at manual focus. Have you ever been in a choir? In Catholic church, yes. Does it bother you to have dirt on the bottom of your bare feet? Y E S Has anyone ever told you that you have a big butt? I literally have the flattest ass of any female you'll ever meet. Do you often skip breakfast? Pretty much daily now, yeah. I'm fasting and don't eat until 11, so breakfast's passed. Last person who drove you somewhere (besides your parents)? Nicole. Who last grabbed your behind? I'm sure it was Chelsea being her crazy self. Do you eat raw cookie dough? Yeah dukes up salmonella. Do you watch Grey’s Anatomy? No. Would you survive in prison? No. I would find one way or another to kill myself. Do you drink? Smoke? Do drugs? Why, or why not? Rarely, no, no. I drink usually in celebratory settings to loosen up some and sometimes just because I like the flavor of weak, fruity alcohol. Smoking's gross, drugs are ew. What was the first cigarette you ever smoked? Never smoked. Are you scared about the end of the world? If I'mma be in it, hell yeah. But it's not something I actively worry about because I don't think it'll happen in my lifetime. Do you prefer landmarks or street names when being given directions? Landmarks. I don't know street names for shit. Do you read the prologues in the beginnings of books? Yes. Where is one place that you’d never be caught dead in? Never be caught dead in, ever... uhhhh... nothing's coming to mind right now. Oh wait. Probably a strip club. Apple Jacks: yay or nay? YAY. Do you have a favorite Scooby-Doo movie? Yeah, but I don't remember which one. ;-; It's that one where the girl says her name is Mary Jane and Shaggy goes, "That's, like, my favorite name." Totally went over my head as a kid lmao. Have you ever met a guy for coffee? No, I hate coffee anyway. Who is your pet most attached to in your family? Teddy's most attached to me, I'm the only one who has any physical contact with Venus and she trusts me, Bentley is bonded with Mom, and Mitsu is still apprehensive of anyone. Does the last person you shared a bed with mean anything to you? The whole world and more. What do you normally do when you’ve had a really bad day? Cry, have a shit attitude occasionally, a nap is common, talk to Sara, binge my favorite Markiplier videos. When is the next time you will wear a dress? Hm. Maybe this summer if I'm confident enough in my body by then lmao. On the main page on YouTube, what’re the three recommended videos? 8-BitGaming beating SCP: Containment Breach, a DanAndPhilGAMES video of Golf With Friends, and then an 8-BitRyan vid of the full release of Raft. Do you know anyone from Canada? Yeah, my former roommate's ex. Are thongs sexy? Yeah, but oml I know I couldn't wear one. Did you grow up in a healthy environment? I wouldn't say "healthy," no. My dad was an alcoholic at the time, parents always fought, and our neighborhood was dangerous. Heavy rain or heatwave? Heavy rain, easily. Fuck the heat. You have a choice to shoot your father or die, what would you do? I hate these damn questions, but I'd rather die. My father deserves the longest and happiest life possible without the betrayal of his daughter. If killing yourself meant saving the world, would you? Yeah. It's a lose-lose situation for me; if I didn't, I'd still die if the world's gonna end. Who knows your most darkest memory or secret? Jason and Mom should know, and whoever read those specific surveys. Who was the last person you almost went out with? Meh. Juan. We talked and hung out once in... late 2016 I think and I was pretty confused as to how I felt about him. Meanwhile, he hasn't kept it a secret in the least he's liked me since freshman year. He's always treated me like a gentleman should, but I know the dark and disgusting parts of him. Glad I decided against it. The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, or The Beatles? Stones. What does your grandma call you? Just my name. And what do you call your grandmother? Grammy. Would you rather have a pool or a hot tub? Pool. Do you think ‘everything bagels’ are disgusting? No, but I have to be in the mood for one. Do you find serial killers fascinating? I wouldn't call them as a whole fascinating, but what has to be going on in their brains to create such grotesque desires and creativities. Do you have high blood pressure? No. Have you ever pumped gas? No. I'm 22 btw lmao. Have your parents ever caught you drinking? I mean Mom's seen me with a drink when she didn't know I'd gotten one, but I wouldn't call it "caught" since I'm allowed to and I made no effort to make it secretive. Do you prefer writing by hand or typing? Typing. Writing makes my carpal tunnel act up quickly, and besides, typing's way faster. Think of one of the biggest decisions you've had to make in your life. If you made a different choice, how different would your life be now? Panicking and telling Mom when I overdosed. I took way more than what I should've taken of a cold medicine I can't even look at now, but I don't think it would've killed me based on how I felt, but then again, the fluids or whatever I got to purge it could've saved me; however, I feel like I would've killed myself through another method if I didn't tell her. It all led to the psychiatric care I needed. Have you ever taken a course on CPR? No, but I should. Do you wear a watch? No, I don't even own one. When are you at your most energetic? A little after waking up. Just gotta get over the initial drowsiness. Do you like playing cards? If so, what's your favorite game? I don't really enjoy card games. I liked Magic: The Gathering tho when I was with Jason, but I wasn't that good at it considering it's got like a billion rules. I'd still play with someone who knew how to, though. I loooove the PS3 version that was made for it, it was much easier and I found it relaxing. And I adore the artwork like jfc. What are your parents’ natural hair colors? What is yours? Extremely dark brown, black, dirty blonde but turned to brown. How do you react to random strangers suddenly trying to make conversation with you? I get nervous. Do you like Slim Jims? YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS MAMA. Have you ever been in a castle? The Disney World castle, if that counts? Would you rather write a mystery or love story? A love story. Are you afraid of getting shots? No. I don't like them, but. What do you currently hear? "Pour Some Sugar On Me" cover by Ninja Sex Party. What’s one text that you saved? Two texts from Sara that I love way too much. Have you ever cut your own hair? No. What’s your favorite color combination? Probably orange and black bc Halloween. Did you share a locker at school? No. Have you ever sang karaoke? No. How old were you when you went on your first date? Huh, I dunno. Just the guy and myself? Probably dinner with Jason at 16? Has anyone besides your family seen you naked? Yeah. Would you rather have strep throat or an ear infection? Holy fuck, after my last ear infection? Strep. Where was your first job? GameStop. Have you ever been to a night club? No. Do all good things really come to an end? No, not all. How many people do you trust with your life? Three. Are you too kind for your own good? Don't think so. Have you ever held a baby? Yeah. What's your favorite '90s TV show? The Nanny. What are you favorite book series? Warriors. Favorite superheroes? I know he's technically an anti-hero, but does Deadpool still count? If not, uh. Batman I guess. Would people consider you more immature or mature? Mature, probably. Would you say most of your friends are older or younger than you? Younger. If you have a significant other, do you get jealous of people a lot? She knows I was insecure as fuck in the beginning. Now, nope. Who was your best friend in the fifth grade? Ummm I think Quiata? Do your parents still help you financially? I don't have a job. So. Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? Don't think so. Do you have a preferred brand of bottled water? Essentia. Thanks for not having it, NC. Are you more prone to overthinking things, or being too impulsive? Hunny I overthink if I have to pee or not if it's not a massive need. How bad are your worst cramps on a scale of 1-10? Eh, maybe just a seven thanks to the pill. Have you ever thrown up from cramps? No. List three people you had a hard time forgiving. JASON, Dad, Mom multiple times. Who was your first celebrity crush? Jesse McCartney. If applicable, what form of birth control do you use? The pill. But it's for cramps. Are you happy with your gender? Yeah. What gender do you identify as? Female. What gender were you born as? Female. Have you ever gotten high off a prescription medication? No. Have you ever used a tampon? Yeah. How old were you when your parents talked to you about puberty? I don't think it's something we ever properly "talked" about, but rather indirectly when Mom taught me how to shave and told me when to start wearing a bra. How many people have you known who were suicidal? Sadly, I think MOST people I know/most friends. What's your favorite pain reliever? Advil. Who has the cutest baby/babies you know? My nephew is literally the cutest child I have EVER seen. Do you have a lot of people blocked on Facebook? Actually yes, but most because Mom instructed me to block them when I was younger. A few are of my own volition. What color is your razor/shaver? Orange and white. What's your boyfriend/girlfriend's sisters name? She doesn't have any sisters. Do you like the sound of violins? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Would you be interested in going on a blind date? Even if I was single, no. If you formed an unhealthy habit, would it be smoking or drinking? Oh boy, idk. I think an alcohol addiction is more dangerous, but smoking has disgusting consequences. Have you ever bought a video game expansion pack? No. Do you wish YouTube had been around when you were a kid? Nah. I wouldn't want the risk of an earlier technology addiction. Do you remember preschool? Yes. What color(s) was your backpack in high school? Browns and black. It was a Ouija board design. What health conditions do you have? Physically, baaad dry scalp, dry af skin in general, inactive MRSA. I've been over my mental ones enough. Have you ever collected seashells at the beach? Yeah. Did you ever take dance lessons? Yeah, for many years. If you took dance lessons, what was your favorite style of dance? Modern. Have you ever worn a tutu? No. What was your favorite vacation that you went on as a child? Disney World. Have you ever had braces? Yeah. What is your favorite photo editing site? (or what do you use?) I don't use editing sites. I use Photoshop, Lightroom, or PhotoScape. How many times did you take your driver's test? I haven't yet.

#survey #quiz #questions

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velcro-rave · 7 years

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post-emoji movie Trauma

WARNING: the following text contains spoilers and can be considered disturbing to some readers. especially my brain, because it’s leaking out my ears after typing this.

This is the first movie ever I’ve gone to see on opening night. And let me just say that, for the record, I’m glad I went to watch with friends. Without them, I would have most likely calmly exited the room, climbed up to the roof, and dived straight off.

I’m honestly fucking terrified of how much this shitty movie has pushed me to the edge. I’ve never felt more ANGRY in my life and at the same time wanted to just curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep. This is so fucked up. What made it possible for this level of psychological warfare to be used so casually by Sony? Why did they decide this was ever a good idea to present to the public? I’m still shaking (and not from the overpriced Coca-Cola I was sold). Whether it’s out of rage or fear, I don’t know. Not even throwing myself into the deep fires of hell can attempt to restore the intrinsic warmth I felt before I witnessed this crime of a movie. They say that there’s a special place reserved below for people who cause enough pain to humanity, and it is at this point where I pose this question to the following:

Tony Leondis. Eric Siegel. Mike White. Michelle Raimo Kouyate.

Why?

Did you want this to happen to me? Was this the plan all along? To destroy everything you could possibly love in the process of creating this film, to make the audience suffer without any remorse? You got PATRICK FUCKING STEWART as a voice actor, and what is it you do?

Yeah, you make him play A WALKING PILE OF SHIT!!!!

Someone could’ve ran up to me after I left the theater, put a shotgun directly up to my forehead, pulled the trigger, and that would have still not come close to how much my mind had been blown at the shocking reality that this movie, this spawn, could exist in the known universe and continue to be shown to innocent people. There were kids there. Hopeful, happy, young kids with iPhones who thought it was a great idea to head off to the movies and watch a funny relatable movie about emojis without a care in the world. Communicating ideas without the use of words is the “staple” of their generation, as the movie so proudly portrays (even comparing it to ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics!), and there’s no reason a family shouldn’t agree to bring their children to this beautiful, heartwarming adventure, right? WRONG.

Nothing could have prepared me for the horrific amount of groan-worthy jokes this movie tossed out. I’ve been wracking my brain for an entire hour trying to remember the most potent ones, but they were so easily forgettable that I can only recall a few offhand. They were tragic. Whenever an opportunity for a shitty pun showed itself, you can bet your ass the writers took it and ran with it to lengths beyond the realms of humor. From the character known as Hi-5′s nonchalant Bye Felicia! to his two puns about snapping (as if one wasn’t enough), I wanted to get up and scream at the ceiling in the hopes that my cries of agony would disrupt the structural integrity of the building and have it fall on top of me, finally freeing me from the slow-cooker of torture that is The Emoji Movie.

At a certain point, Hi-5 (by the way James Corden, I thought you were cool. I thought you were here for us, for all of us as an entertainer, but you just had to take part in ruining me and the world as we know it by accepting this role. I will never forgive you.) mentions something about his heart beating. His… heart? This walking, talking hand has a heart? Does he have lungs? What other internal organs could fit in there and be capable of being slapped around constantly as a result of his stupid ass decisions? Why doesn’t he have arms like Gene or Jailbreak, does his body somehow take into account that he’s already a living appendage? This movie is making me sit and contemplate the anatomy of a fucking animated HAND, and that’s not even as preposterous as a thought can get while watching.

On multiple occasions throughout my viewing experience, I had to take a break to just lean back and sigh, both in anguish of what was happening onscreen as well as the sheer exhausting aspect of it all. The voice acting couldn’t have been more unreliable. Every other line it was a gamble between it being a poorly executed pun delivered so flatly that not even the 4-year old up front let out a little giggle, an obvious statement about what they’re planning to do next, or the most unremarkable snippet of backstory ever revealed. I’m sure all those scenes between Gene and Jailbreak where they gaze at each other were meant to be construed as romantic, but her blasé response to each of his approaches because she “isn’t some princess waiting for her prince” or how “women are deserving of more respect” completely knocked the mood off whatever pedestal it was stepping up to. I get it, these are actual important themes that need to be recognized, and I would be more than happy to see this acknowledged in a movie built on as many metaphors as Zootopia, but the timing of her commentary was the worst I’d ever seen. The constant interruptions made it seem like her words shouldn’t be taken seriously at all!

Unsurprisingly, character background was virtually (unintentional pun. I’m incredibly sorry.) nonexistent, and everything that’s possible to be wondered about the universe could pretty much be answered with a big shrug. For example, why does Hi-5 have a band-aid? Did he get stabbed or something? When did Gene begin to show signs that he was capable of other emotions? Was the Just Dance girl deleted after the trash bin emptied itself out? We didn’t see any signs of the characters going back for her after Hi-5 had to shake off the troll, so did they just leave her there to die? If Jailbreak had been working for a long time to get out, why didn’t she use more of her hacking skills? She pulled up her hologram window things maybe three times total to escape or hide somewhere, does she seriously not have anything else in her repertoire that could potentially help Gene and Hi-5 get to where they need to be quicker? There’s so many questions that don’t even get passively explained. Then again, I’m arguing against the same people who genuinely advocated for the setting to be called Textopolis.

AND WHOSE FUCKING IDEA WAS IT TO MAKE THE MAIN CHARACTER “MEH”??

The ONE emoji with zero interesting qualities and the most monotone parents that, for some fucking batshit insane reason, were given more than the minute of screentime they deserved. I understand for a quick gag, their emotionless response to everything could be funny, but their conversations would just stretch on and on and on. As for Gene, I trusted you, T.J. Miller. I can’t believe you betrayed me, especially after such a hilariously perfect role in Deadpool. Never in my life have I felt so disappointed in a single person. There is no justifiable reason for you to be proud of what you’ve done here. To be honest, I’m pretty sure I astral projected at least three times as I struggled to repress the memory of this trainwreck before it even ended. When I wasn’t desperately clawing at the armrests mid-convulsion, I was staring vacantly at the center of the screen, wondering how this week could have gone so wrong.

This was basically a 91-minute long advertisement. The whiplash of traveling between product placement to product placement nearly made me throw up, which was ostensibly the only thing that could’ve made this worse. Dropbox, Spotify, Candy Crush, Just Dance, YouTube, Facebook, and the almighty Twitter, I hope you’re happy with what you’ve wrought. The “emoji-pop” dance assaulted my eyes so suddenly, acting as the unnecessary cherry on top of the feel-good ending; I think that’s when I officially lost all hope in enjoying the rest of my night.

It’s honestly taking every ounce of my being to hold onto the little bit of life that I have after the Emoji Movie ripped my soul to shreds. The amount of violation I felt as my ears were subjected to endless pop culture references that were relevant years ago, nightmarish depictions of the content of each app on Alex’s phone, and the fact that the god damn Eggplant was in the Unused Emojis room when everyone knows that’s not the case is indescribable. I now have to live with the fact that every time I switch keyboards on my phone, those blank yellow faces will serve as a dark reminder of what I’ve gone through. To any of you reading this that have also watched The Emoji Movie, I am so sorry. I know how difficult it is to process. My recommendation to each and every one of you who haven’t had the chance to witness this sickening spectacle is to KEEP IT THAT WAY. Don’t give in to the peer pressure; this abomination parading itself around as an endearing motion picture will wholly and truly rattle you to the core. My only solace was the complete absence of dabbing or whipping (apart from hearing the song), and I’d like to thank every deity above and below for that small act of mercy.

Here’s to you, Sony. Thanks for ensuring that I not only sink deeper into my depression, but for forcing my mind to house the images I’ve seen today for as long as I live. I wish I could physically bring myself to chuck my phone in a garbage fire, but my entire body has gone numb. Here’s to you, and to all the writers, producers, and directors of this movie that made me sit in a corner pondering how I can possibly live in a future where this monstrosity exists.

Gravely, sincerely,

fuck you, and goodnight.

🖕

#long post #rant #p #the emoji movie #emoji movie #FUUCKKKKKK.#I feel like banging my head against the wall until I pass out #food mention #I would appreciate it if any of you could recommend a good therapist #god knows I need the help #goodnight #2017 #tumblr keeps getting rid of readmores i'm really sorry if this takes up your dash

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abrilu-u · 4 years

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Helping The Others Realize The Advantages Of psn games digitais

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deiupvote · 5 years

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So, just like many of you guys I watched the AMD keynote, and I was also watching some commentaries as the livestream went on. What I saw in the commentaries though was a whole lot of "wtf why are you talking about this?" and "come on show us the product" comments. While these were understandable from an enthousiast/gamer perspective, I'd like to explain why the keynote was what it was to hopefully give you all a better understanding of what transpired.First thing to understand is what the target audience for keynotes like these are. As much as you'd like to hope it is, they are very much not made for average consumers like us. Keynotes at big events like these are primarily made for investors and potential large corporate customers and partners.See, AMD had a couple of things they had to prove and showcase hereBeing able to compete with Intel in the CPU marketBeing able to compete with nVidia in the GPU marketHaving a clear path to increasing market share in existing market areasExpanding into new and emerging market areasAnd they did exactly that.Now, let's break down the presentation, you can rewatch it here16:30 - Introduction by Gary ShapiroThis is the general "look guys, we're important, some important guy from another big company is introducing us". Yes, it's boring, but it's there to prove a point that AMD is now one of the big boys again. The introduction even emphasises that this is AMD's first time having such a keynote at CES20:58 - Lisa Su's opening presentationThis starts off with the usual "look where we came from and look where we are now" spiel to please investors and give the entire keynote some initial forward momentum.She gives some initial hooks here that they keynote will try to build further on, such as pointing out what the projected growing demand for compute will be, then following up by essentially saying "we have answers for all of this". This is a flag again for investors and partners: the market will change, and we're the partner for you to face this challenge.29:30 - High Performance PCsThis part of the presentation is mainly about content creators, which is why Threadripper takes center stage. This part build on from the introduction to expand on just how they have changed the market in the last 2 years and how they have made inroads in the existing, and quite lucrative, creators market. This is why they have those guys from Fox VFX talking, they want to show they have actual big customers using their product, which pleases investors and can get them potentially more customers, as this is a market where having references is a big thing.As a sidenote, it's funny that she makes it sound like Threadripper was a planned product from the start, while we all know that Threadripper was a passion project by AMD engineers who basically went "hey, we have EPYC, maybe we can make a HEDT platform out of this too?".35:35 - Ultrathin notebooksThis part exists to showcase "hey guys, we HAVE made great inroads in the mobile market, contrary to what you might have thought". Intel and Microsoft has also redoubled their efforts to make laptops relevant again in this modern tablet and mobile dominated market. This is why she points to the Modern Windows PC initiative. The showcase here is "we're not missing this boat now that we actually have something that is competitive". She ends this part with again showcasing they already have partners with products lined up, a flag for investors.39:31 - PCs for educationThis part is to showcase they have products to make inroads in the education market. Education is a BIG market. Depending on the area they either need powerful devices (STEM, research) or cheap devices (Chromebooks).43:07 - Gaming : MicrosoftThis part is to showcase their existing partnership with large players. Why Microsoft is here and not say, Sony, is that Microsoft represents 3 markets for them: console gaming (XBox One), PC gaming (Windows) and cloud gaming (Azure). Cloud gaming is an emerging market and is expected to grow significantly. It's another investor hook to show "look, we have a great installed base, and we're making great inroads into new market areas, which will lead to future growth of the company".51:00 - GPU technology retrospectiveThis part is again a recap of what they have already created. It exists to emphasise their current market positioning and market share (which is again, a flag for investors and potential partners), and serves as a jump-off point for the next part.53:40 - Radeon VII, part 1The Radeon VII exists because they had to present something that could go toe to toe with the nVidia RTX2080. That was the only thing that mattered. This is emphasised by the comparison charts she projects. The game demo is a bit lame, but it just serves to showcase "we're not making this up, it does perform", and serves as a hook for the later "yeah it's 699, but you're getting games with it! So it's really not that bad!".Ubisoft is on there, talking about how they are partnering in development with AMD. The hook here is to show that AMD is still closely working with game developers, and that it's not just nVidia being the only one calling the shots.1:06:13 - eSportsIntermezzo. eSports is a decently big enough market to warrant another "hey guys, we're in this as well" showcase. Again, investor and partner hook. The guy from Fenetic is there to just drive the point home.1:12:40 - Radeon VII, part 2The pricetag is dropped: 699, but with game bundled. Yes, we (as gamers/enthousiast) all were dissapointed by this.But, if I can make a sidestep here to explain why AMD made this move. As I mentioned: they had to have something to compete with the nVidia RTX 2080. But, the thing is, this is actually a really niche part of the market. Most of the market is in the RX560/GTX1050Ti range. When it came to raw specs, they had a product that would fit : the Radeon Instinct MI50, as it is based on 7nm Vega. But, the MI50 is a datacenter part, and is manufacturerd with 16GB of HBM2. Remember, this comes as one big package, to make an 8GB variant they'd have to create a whole new package. So AMD is faced with a choiceDon't compete with the RTX 2080Create a new 8GB packageUse the existing 16GB package from the MI50First one is not an option if they don't want to fall flat for their investors. Second one doesn't really have enough volume behind it to make any kind of positive business case, so all that was left was the third option. But, they can't quite sell these cards at a loss, so they were pretty much forced to use the 699 price tag. Is there some margin to lower the price later? Of course there is, but not enough margin to start the price off at 649 or lower.The Radeon VII really is their "damned if you do, damned if you don't" GPU.Will it sell? Of course it will, those who really want a 7nm Vega will buy it anyway, those people were clamoring for it loud enough. Will it sell in high volumes? We'll have to see.1:13:34 - Cloud gamingAnother partner and investor hook showing how they're making inroads in this emerging market with their product stack. They showcase Google Project Stream, because hey, Google is a big partner to be able to show you're doing business with.1:16:30 - High Performance Computing : AMD EPYC server CPUsThis reiterates what they already have in the pipeline for the datacenter world. Yes, it's CES, and the C stands for Consumer, but remember, investors and partners, and many of those partners will also be interested in servers.She drops here that 2nd gen EPYC will launch mid 2019. This simultaneously shows that their product is nearing completion (in the server world, 6 months is nothing), but also is a small hint for what she will say in the next part.1:24:57 - 3rd Generation Ryzen based on Zen 2Here they had to showcase they were able to compete with Intel. Zen2 for desktop is still on engineering samples, but they had to showcase it (again, investors and partners), and they needed to show they could go toe to toe with the best Intel had to offer right now. And they did, even showcasing they did it for less power draw. The demo was simple, but it sufficiently drove the point home that she had to make.Showing the delidded CPU was also an obvious hook to what is to come. We saw the IO die, we saw one 8 core chiplet, and we saw there is enough room on there for another component, be it another core chiplet or a GPU. This is deliberately done at the end of the presentation to end on a note that will get everyone hyped again for the possibilities of 16C/32T CPUs and 8C/16T APUs. It also served to soften the dissapointment of a mid 2019 launch. This mid 2019 launch window matches the 2nd gen EPYC launch window she mentioned early, pointing out to investors and partners that this is just the timeframe that is needed to get Zen 2 to the neccesary maturity level for a succesful product launch.1:31:52 - Closing off the keynoteA recap of what was shown, and a re-emphasis that AMD is investing in what is needed.To cap off my postWell, this is probably the longest post I've ever written. It's based on my experience in the corporate world and with these kinds of presentations (I tend to go to some of these events for my job, so I knew what to expect of these kinds of keynotes).I should note I originally posted this on /r/amd but the content was shadowremoved there for some reason. via /r/hardware

#apoc

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onlywinnerslast-blog · 6 years

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Only Winners Last

Every article I’ve ever read about writing said that people care deeply about the story and only partly about the product. So, while some of you noticed that I recently changed the name of my blog from The Corner of 27 to Only Winners Last, I’m about to discover whether my story can carry its weight.

When I started The Corner of 27, I told you that I’d like to share all the gems I’ve received from my business conversations with my very successful uncle. In hindsight, those conversations would be a much cheaper (and less wild) alternative to college. And while I haven’t lost an ounce of respect for my uncle, I believe I’ve grown far beyond limiting my blog to what I learned working with him or, as he would strongly suggest, under him. His greatest lesson yet (something magicians call The Prestige) was putting me in a situation where everything I was confident in having for years to come, evaporated and disappeared before the 5 o’clock tea break.

A Harvey f***ing Weinstein moment if I ever knew one.

And that is how boys become men.

So, a little hungover and confused, I had to build myself up from scratch. And let me tell you if you ever get to rebuild yourself again, always go with a superhero. Since stepping out of a big shadow requires a little pizzazz, I wanted to make a splash. So while you probably didn’t notice the cape, you should have noticed the name. OWL INC. (take that Marvel).

So why Only Winners Last? Seems kind of rhetorical doesn’t it? This is the only truth I’ve ever known. I hate saying I’ve seen it all, but I’ve pretty much seen it…all. Companies teetering on the verge of the abyss rubbing shoulder to shoulder with Wall Street’s sweethearts, only to change roles the next day(the Street loves role play). Companies’ quick rise and their meteoric fall. Quick cash schemes, cheating, scandals, takeovers, buyouts, mergers, and champagne. Lots and lots of champagne. But, some companies never get to fly at all. Some plateau. Some reach a tipping point but just can’t light the match. Through all of this, only one thing is constant, Only Winners Last.

So that’s what I decided to call my new company. I hate the word consulting because it’s far too corporate for today’s “middle finger to the world” Millennials. “Oh, these Millennials,” you say? Deal with it, they’re here to stay, no matter how f**ked that makes the rest of us. So let’s find a better word. Let’s just say I’m here to give you solid business advice. Good old, raw, unbiased, call-it-how-I-see-it, “put my money where my mouth is” advice. Take me like the non-equity partner you wish you had before you went on and did that thing you’re about to go on and do…

The truth is 8 out of 10 business should be “Mr. Wonderfuled” before they ever get to see the light of day. Taken behind the barn and shot. Dead. That‘s my core mission. No, not to kill your business, unless of course, it deserves to die. My mission is to tell you what to look out for and where the skeletons are buried. I want to share with you the dirty and ugly rules that are the modus operandi in business, once you reach a certain level of success and I want you to learn never to take things personally. I want to share with you the mistakes I’ve paid for so that we don’t destroy any more capital (unless we celebrate) and instead, use that energy to create more…and there’s an abundance of more.

I’m here to help you get to the point. I’m here to tell you what’s worth your time and what you should delegate. I’m here to show you the numbers you need to master and I am here to prove to you that creating value is far more important than creating wealth. Many confuse wealth for a resource where in fact, wealth is an attribute of value creation. One creates the other, the other rarely returns the favor.

So why me? “Finally, he gets to the story…” Let me just tell you some of the things I’ve done in the past 15 years…

I’ve signed a record deal with Sony BMG (hip-hop broke my heart) — music is a passion I will never lose.

I’ve opened a chain of quality hot dogs stands with top locations in the city…and failed miserably until I managed to sell the company.

I’ve built up a hotel & restaurant operating company that managed a few properties with a staff well over 100 people.

I’ve negotiated every single contract I’ve ever signed and have gotten incredible deals because of it.

I’ve served and still serve on the board of a few companies.

I’ve created a strong brand, a chain of well respected and popular cafes which is now rapidly growing due to a deal with a strategic partner who acquired half of the business. (I want half Eddie!)

I’ve consulted numbers of startups and helped them with their budgets, marketing and copywriting.

I’ve put together business plans, held crisis meetings and even change the direction of a company in a matter of weeks. and yes there’s a more… but let’s kill the bullet points… I’ve hired and fired a lot of people. I’ve been sued and threatened. I’ve never been fired, but I have lost a job. I’ve had a car repossessed because the business could no longer afford it and I’ve had people pay me to wear their brands. I’ve fought bad habits and I’ve built some incredibly good new once. I’m divorced and about to be extremely happily married. I’ve met 50 cent and I’ve recorded with Royce da 5'9. Oh and I blog. Sometimes.

In short, I’ve failed a lot but succeeded a lot more. And that’s my point. Only Winners Last. I’m here, to be honest with you and I’m here to share with you, an incredible wealth of knowledge, information, and most importantly experience.

Think of me as a less attractive version of Joe Bastianich. I won’t take it personally. I never do.

Oh and one last thing, you’ll see a lot of Drake quotes from me. Back to Back.

Diplomatic Immunity, f**k ’em.

Michael Burich

#blog #blogger #busines #wisdom #invest #businessadvice #motivation #onlywinnerslast #onlinebusiness #money #how to make it #how to make money

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godsizemylife-blog · 6 years

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Lost – and Found

You may have noticed my posts are distinctly lacking in the “God is in the flowers and rainbows” flavor. In fact, more of my posts are about trials I face or disappointments in myself. This no doubt comes from the fact that, while I am every bit female, I‘ve never been a “frou-frou” girl. I look like death warmed over in pink, I simply look silly in ruffles, and though I love jewelry, the beautiful blingy cocktail rings my sweet friend Patty has given me look like a contradiction on my thin, veiny hands. An frankly, my life has been so challenge-filled since 1995 that I find little comfort in stress-busting articles that advise me to take a bubble bath or have my nails done. God IS in the flowers and rainbows, and probably in bubbles, too, but I need a God who is there to be found IN my pain, loss, anxiety, disappointments, grief, and frustrations. If He isn’t to be encountered and experienced there, then what hope do any of us have?

After I take the bubble bath and have my nails done, what has changed? Have those admittedly fun exercises changed my circumstances? If they haven’t changed my situation, have they changed me? No. And while I love bubble baths, I need something more substantial in my life. A stress-buster to me means seeing God’s hand moving to transform me in the middle of the messes my life seems to step into again and again like the ubiquitous gum in a Wal-Mart parking lot.

I long to dance in the rain – not because I’m a pessimist, but because I know rain will come. I need a God who isn’t afraid to get wet, who can transcend, transfigure, translate and transform, as the lyrics in John Mark McMillan’s moving, anointed song, “How He Loves” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Chx6s3qXKt4&feature=related powerfully declare: “When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory, and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me.” I need a God of grit and guts and glory. That’s who I’m encountering in this deepest trial of my life – a God of incredible, deep compassion and love – and that’s who I pray you find within these thoughts and discoveries of mine.

This post is about my father, but Susan Miller and everyone who’s lost a loved one, this one is for you, too.

“Uuuuhhhh . . . uuuhh . . . .” Dad’s mouth opened as he tried to speak. His eyes still held that “deer in the headlights” look of incomprehension so typical of Alzheimer’s patients, but I caught a spark of – what – hope? Thanks? Love? Mom, Bonnie and I were gathered around him holding his hand, once so strong and steady as he guided wood through the saw blade, but now so forceless and weak, and touching his now thin shoulders. We’d come to say good-bye.

Two days earlier Dad had developed pneumonia. This Monday morning, the day before Dad’s 75th birthday, a nurse in the Alzheimer’s unit of the nursing home had called my Mom to tell her to come quickly, as this might be Dad’s last day. I’d thrown the car into gear and flown to Mom’s house to pick her up and quickly dash up to the home. “Oh, Rosie!” was all she could get out through her sobbing. The past five years of grieving as we watched Dad steadily decline still hadn’t prepared our hearts for this day.

Surprisingly, when Mom and I arrived, Dad actually looked pretty good. He was sitting up in a chair looking apparently healthy and pretty much like he usually did. Mom and I chatted to him while the nurses worked around us. “To him” was all we could do, because Dad hadn’t been able to speak for the past two years; in fact, he hadn’t even uttered so much as a syllable on the many Sundays when my husband, our ten-year-old son and I stopped in to see him after church. Ethan had never really known Grandpa when he was well, this man who made wagons and pedal fire trucks and doll houses and so many treasures for his grandchildren before dementia robbed him of his considerable talents.

But he was still Grandpa, still my Dad, and I thought back to treasured evenings in our back yard sitting on his telescope mount as he twirled me around the stars, or standing beside him in the garage redolent with the fragrance of newly sawn pine as he showed me how to drive a nail and drill a hole in a scrap of lumber. He was still the man I loved and respected, somewhere inside there. I dared to believe that, fought to hope it was true. Mom and I stepped aside to let the nurse take Dad’s vitals. The door opened and my sister Bonnie walked into the room. The nurse gave a slight gasp as my Dad’s vital signs shot up. Bonnie hadn’t seen Dad in two years, not since he moved from his home into this skilled nursing facility. She did live quite a distance away, but it was just too painful for her to see Dad in his continually deteriorating condition. I understood completely. Bonnie had always been there for Dad and Mom over the years, and she still helped Mom every way she could.

Dad hadn’t seen her in two years, yet something in him rose up in recognition of a face he loved, and rose up so powerfully that his heart rate and respiration increased immediately!

“Should we pray with him? Should we tell him . . .?” I honestly don’t remember now which one of us voiced what we all were thinking: should we give Dad permission to go home to Jesus? Should we give him our blessing and love? Wordlessly we all agreed, gathered around Dad, and began to pray. “Thank you so much, Father, for our father, for his love, for the faith he shared so freely . . . . “

Then we said it, every eye awash in tears that flowed to the nurses in the room, too. “Dad, if you’re ready to go, we give you our blessing to go home to Heaven.” That’s when it happened: Dad tried to speak! He looked directly into our faces and said, “Uuuhhh . . . uuuhhhhhh.” Those might have been babbled syllables to anyone else, but to the tree of us, they were the voice of a beloved husband and father, struck dumb by a disease advancing brain cell by brain cell for five years, but the man still alive and vital inside, somewhere, somehow!

One by one we bent down and kissed him, hugged him, squeezed his feeble hand, and left, fairly confident that his healthy appearance meant this might be a false alarm. Two days later he died, sweetly and quietly and I believe liberated to leave the prison of his disease and go meet his fellow carpenter, his Savior Jesus.

Some people might understandable dismiss this as coincidence to which we attributed too much significance. I might, too, had it not been for a comment from one of the nurses after Dad died, and the same scene repeated exactly four weeks later over the bed of Dad’s sister, my Aunt Cine. Francine developed Alzheimer’s two years before Dad exhibited signs of the disease. She had been bedridden, fallen away to 80 pounds, unable to walk or speak, at death’s door for over a year. Mom and I went to see her on her birthday. We took her some balloons.

“Should we tell her?” Mom asked, and I agreed. “Should we tell her that her brother died?”

“Yes,” I concurred without hesitation.

Cine was in much worse shape than Dad had been, but the day Dad died, one of the nurses on Dad’s floor at his nursing home had said to me, ‘Your father was such a sweet, wonderful man. We enjoyed him so much.” How had she known that? How can you know that about someone who can’t communicate . . . unless Dad’s spirit had been able to break out of his silence and communicate somehow, quite apart from words?

So my mother and I bent down on either side of Dad’s sister, took her hands, and I softly said, “Aunt Cine, we want you to know your brother has gone on ahead of you. He’s waiting for you with Jesus. If you’re ready to go, we give you our permission and blessing to go home.”

“Uuuhhh . . . . uuuhhhh.” Her face turned up to mine, her wild yet shallow eyes looking directly into mine, and I knew she was there. She saw me. We kissed her and went home. So did Cine, the very next day.

I never gave much credence to the notion that sometimes people need permission from their loved ones to leave. I always thought your body had the deciding voice in when you die. Now I’m certain that is not always the case.

Two intelligent, resourceful, achieving, loving people, struck down by a disease so heinous and hideous that it strikes terror in the hearts of most people. Any way but that one! What could possible be the sliver lining in my father’s and my aunt’s deaths? Simply and profoundly this: no matter what disease does to our bodies or our brains, God’s Spirit never leaves our spirit. We remain, whole, intact, filled with all the life and love we’ve known and given away, whether the outside world can access it or not. And is that a meager comfort in the face of such deep loss and pain? No, even though my sister, brother and I know we live in the shadow of DNA that may spell the same end for us, especially now that our mother has vascular dementia from numerous small strokes. It is somehow a great comfort and source of hope.

Yes, I pray researchers will home in quickly on what causes and what can cure and prevent Alzheimer’s, but while I wait, I rest in the knowledge that who I truly am, who we truly are, endures above and beyond all else. Count that as an incredible, joyful, overcoming blessing!

Note as of May 5, 2010: My brother, age 67, has just been diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s. Note January 27, 2018: Its wasn’t Alzheimer’s, but undiagnosed bipolar disorder, and lung cancer took Dave in January 2013. Five years later, I’m remembering the amazing time I had with my brother just weeks before he went home to Jesus, and I thank God even more passionately for the certainty that this life isn’t all there is, and Heaven truly awaits all who know Jesus as Lord and Savior and the Lover of their soul. Dave, I can imagine the smiles on Mom’s and Dad’s faces as they ran to greet you!

GOD IS LOVE, and He still proves it to us.

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Just a thankful amen!

Revisiting Lost and Found Lost – and Found Rose Jackson ©7/24/2009 You may have noticed my posts are distinctly lacking in the “God is in the flowers and rainbows” flavor.

#Christianity #comfort #Faith #Family #Fathers #Humanity #Jesus #Loss #Love #prayer #truth

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