#if ppl would be interested in that id be happy to put it together but its a lot of work if nobody wants it FGHJDK

[suntails]

anyone that ever thought i was crazy for doing this pmv full color: i am two files from fully drawn. i. oughh. i've planned a rough schedule around my job and i am tentatively planning to post on friday 3/1. i can feel it in my BONES im so close to done

#hush catríona #'anyone that thought i was crazy' i say as if u were wrong. u weren't. i AM crazy. im just Also crazy enough to follow thru #the color script seeing the thumbs in my file is INSANE its so FUN. idk if ppl would be interested in a little behind the scenes thing? #i included a lil zip on gumroad the last time i made an animatic w my process and the first roughcut vid and some files. twas FUN #if ppl would be interested in that id be happy to put it together but its a lot of work if nobody wants it FGHJDK #i would like to thank neel and lettie specifically for helping me brainstorm at the very beginning to bridge the gaps #i would like to thank ell for allowing me to dump a MILLION BILLION wips in dms and for motivation and overall loveliness #i would like to thank kara and dove and sleepie for sitting in calls with me while i stream at desk prison at various points #i would like to thank my mom #i would like to thank silver twisted wonderland. i would like to thank the academy (night raven college). i would like to thank robin

[hellhoundlair]

Happy wincest Wednesday! Regarding stuff like outsider POV, do you think Sam and/or Dean are aware that from the outiside their relationship seems incredibly insane and weird (affectionate). Especially in the early seasons or pre series, having grown up incredibly isolated, basically on top of each other and not having ANY healthy relationship to compare to, how do you think they would react to someone (like a hunter, maybe someone they know, maybe an irrelevant love interest, idk) bringing this up?

and a happy ww to you! i think they know! they know theyre weird and people can tell that about them and theyve decided from a young age that they dont really care what other people think. yet at the same time i feel like they dont truly understand the depths of what makes the look weird from an outsider pov/whats abnormal for siblings because they dont have anything normal to compare themselves to.

itd b pretty well established in the hunter community that sam and dean are a package deal, which you usually only ever see with married couples. if you didnt know john winchester beforehand and you met sam and dean youd probably just assume they were gay together. and you wouldnt be wrong. If another hunter brought this up around either of them theyd correct them and brush it off because haha what a funny misunderstanding anyway sam where did you put our toothbrush i cant find it. (Id think hunters would understand if they knew the way sam and dean were raised, they know that they were trained as soldiers as children and how damaging that mustve been, so they mostly dont judge each other for not fitting in. maybe they feel something more like pity. and definitely discomfort)

with a love interest bringing it up its a little different. if theyre trying to hit on someone and they get hit with the "you sure your boyfriend doesnt mind?" i dont think theyd bother correcting them. And in the context of them having a mutual pining thing i think theyd get a thrill from it. if its a pre relationship thing and they get faced with those sorts of questions i think thatd really help them figure out that they like the idea of belonging to each other.

questions from more serious love interests (the scene with lisa talking about sam coming back comes to mind) would be a lot more confronting though. ppl pointing out that theyre weird and way too close would rub them the wrong way. theyd get closed off and defensive because how the fuck could anyone ever understand what they have. especially when its people trying to tell them that its unhealthy (they know. they dont care) pointing it out or trying to keep them apart only serves to push them further into each other and their alienation from society.

#also early seasons ppl mistaking them for lovers theyd react with “haha how silly!” and later seasons theyd react with “yeah :)” #even if theyre completely gen they dont care man. they know they look married. #thank you for the ask!

[tittysuckersworld]

okay! finally making tumblr post for this. ppl on tumblr pls ignore this dont mind- just from lil youtube thingy. but to explain quick, for a lil wile i was really interested in drawing saree(sari)'s a really pretty sort of wrapped around fabric. hard to explain but verrrry pretty ya? i really wanted to draw it but couldnt understand how it worked as a garment so couldnt figure it out right.

but then luckily saw youtube video tutorial on how to put on one of these saree!! sorta mistake on my part but once saw that video was very happy and told comments how was happy i could then draw saree correctly and more from understanding it.

then i kept forgetting about it- said id send tumblr link to art but ehehehe oh glob my screen name- and also getting them all together would mean going back into old put away sketch book and grabing all of em. but tonight finaly did go back and grabbed the good stuffs!! so here is saree master post of me drawings(most of them are old because ive been drawing less and working more on knitting and character design- sryyy but did do quick one of the person who was making videos and looking very pretty yes fusbdjabfuagsy)

here is also one whipped up tonight fast! isnt my best art at all cause tired but is what could do rn :> have nice day euahdus

#my arts<3 #<3<3<3 #sareestyle

[t4tails]

hi! i'm not sure if you've been asked this before but sonic seems very cool and you seem very knowledgeable so i was wondering if you have any advice for getting into sonic? all i know is cool speedy hedgehog with cool friends, rings, colorful emerald things, eggman. thank you if you answer :D

hello yes! id be happy to help!! putting under a cut to not clog ppls dashs ^v^

okay obviously the way most people get into the sonic franchise is through the games, but these also have the biggest hurdle to jump through to consume them (money + proper consoles). here is a list of the mainline sonic games in chronological order (out of universe that is; in universe a few are switched around), and here is a list of EVERY sonic game. try to play any that seem interesting to you! the classic games (1 + CD + 2 + 3&Knuckles) and the adventure games (SA + SA2) are the most essential viewings. the classics are all getting rereleased on switch in june as sonic origins and are otherwise very simple to understand, and the adventures have large cutscene movies you can watch on youtube!

if you like darker and more serious storylines, i say check out sonic 2006, shadow the hedgehog, sonic forces, and to a certain extent sonic and the secret rings, and sonic and the black knight.

if you like more lighthearted cartoony stories, check out sonic heroes, sonic unleashed, sonic colors, sonic generations, sonic lost world, and sonic mania.

note that i make no guarantee of quality because some of these are infamously bad but its okay because liking bad storylines and games is a part of liking this series 💗

okay other than the games theres also animated media you can check out! there were three american animated sonic cartoons in the 90s, Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog (aosth), Sonic the Hedgehog (satam), and Sonic Underground.

aosth is a super lighthearted cartoon thats just about sonic and tails running around defeating robotniks schemes together. its not much in terms of story or meat, so if you dont like eggman, or sonic and tails, then its probably skippable. my personal favorite episode is Tails New Home. all of its on youtube.

satam is the darker cartoon of the mid 90s. its about an underground revolution against the dictator robotnik by the village knothole outside the city of robotropolis. this would get cancelled after 2 seasons, and would get a comic adaptation which ill talk about in a second. all of its on youtube as well.

sonic underground is a nonsense show lmao. sonic has blood siblings in this one and they fight robotnik using magic amulets that turn into magic instruments. a nostalgic favorite for many fans, and its notable for being the only cartoon tails isnt in because the writers chopped up his personality and split it into other characters. again, its all on youtube!

theres also 2 japanese anime adaptations of the series!

the sonic OVA is a 40 minute movie that was originally a pilot for a series, but it wasnt picked up. i personally adore the animation used in it, its adorable and its length makes it fun to watch on the regular. its normally on youtube but currently down i think, so you can watch it on places like dailymotion and vimeo.

sonic x is the story driven anime adaptation from the mid 2000s! it got dubbed by 4kids in the us, but they censored tons of stuff so everybody tells everybody to watch it subbed. theres three seasons, and while i havent seen this yet ive been assured its actually very well written and a good watch. the dub is on youtube, but since again you want to see it subbed, both versions are on hulu. its also on uh. other sites <3

and we're back in the us for recent stuff!

sonic boom is the most recent sonic cartoon from 2014. a cartoon adaptation of series spinoff game Sonic Boom and the Rise of Lyric, everybodys designs and personalities are slightly off, especially knuckles. its not necessarily in character half the time, but its funny enough nobody cares. its like a sitcom with sonic characters and everybody loves clipping stuff out of context. you can watch it on hulu! and other sites <3

THE MOVIES! everybodys seeing the movies. what are you doing if you arent seeing the movies? pirate the first one off paramount+ and then buy your ticket for the 2nd one right now. theyre genuinely good movies and are super super fun to see with friends!!

okay thats it for cartoons! finally, theres multiple comics you can read about sonic.

Archie Sonic is the first, american made comic series with over 500 issues if you include spin offs. this is the satam continuation. its infamous for its behind the scenes drama with ken penders and its terrible relationship drama in comic. it gets good when ian flynn starts writing though. you can read these on any comic sites online, and heres a reading order, since it gets super complicated to keep up with.

Sonic the Comic is the british version of the series. commonly dubbed fleetway sonic by fans, its lore re sonic and eggman is vastly different to the rest of the series. its much shorter than archie, with less than 200 issues. again, you can read these online, and heres a much less complicated reading order.

finally, theres IDW sonic. started in 2017, its a spiritual continuation of archie in some ways due to the returning writing staff after archie ended in 2014. its also a literal continuation of sonic forces, and you should know what happens in that game before reading these. this is most peoples favorite comic run, due to it being the most consistent in story and art quality. its more recent and still ongoing. you can read it online, and heres a reading order as of the issues released when typing this up. thank you tumblr user thankskenpenders for both this and the archie reading order!

thats.. basically it! theres more that i have not mentioned here, but you can do research into the nooks and crannies yourself after checking out any of these and deciding if you like it! i hope i could help and i hope you end up liking the funny animal guys ^_^

#og post #ask #anon

[irwen-s]

yeah i have Not heard good things about pledis but pls 🙏 treat our girls right

lmaooo thats so funny jiwon exploiting the shit out of her puppy eyes and saerom not realising that their little omega's got her in the palm of her hand..and then jisun's just there watching from the sidelines like lemme grab some popcorn 👀🍿

yeah i'm not sure about the scents thing but i think alphas always have a certain musk to their scent that gets stronger during ruts regardless of what the actual scent smells like

and ya got me there i'm just happy to read any fromis content bc there arent many ppl writing for them rip

i don't have any favourites for ships in particular (besides 2jirom my beloveds) but recently ive been thinking about hayoung and jisun bc they would be a very interesting pairing...they both radiate such chill but soft vibes like theyre both so laidback.. i saw that video recently of hayoung reading out her letter to flovers on vlive and jisun just bursts into tears halfway and then theyre both just sitting there crying together lmao. idk i guess it's like hayoung wears her heart on her sleeve and she's so forthright with her emotions even if others might perceive her as too softhearted, and i think that quality of hers brings out jisun's more vulnerable side. many Thoughts tonight

other than that i do have some spicier hcs..to answer your question Yes i do have a strong preference for jisun as a top like i get why ppl would write her as a bottom but i think shes a top who likes to Tease and deny a little bit >:) also chaeng as a bratty sub...i know u write her as a top but im saying it with my whole chest shes all bark no bite and that bravado melts away the second one of the doms puts her in her place

what are ur fav fromis pairings sol?

- flover anon

jisun watching things unfold from the sidelines is so on brand of her hslgkjdflgdfg

also speaking of fromis brands i got this from my friend!! the descriptions are so on point and funny hlkgjldfgfd i think im jiwon and seoyeon hhhhhh

i actually read this really interesting fic where basically the alpha was able to release their scents with different kind of like. feelings? like able to release an intimidating kind of scent or a self-soothing one or a distressed one, kinda like that. i think omegas would be able to do that as well in a way but it was just a super interesting concept that i picked up

no favourite ships >80 but down to read everything . . . flover anon thats godly hdkfgjdlfgfd since id think most people have ship preferences at least with regards to their biases

that hayoung jisun video sounds so funny oh god they just both start crying sdflkjskdfgsdfg but also thats very valid ahahaha; i remember there was a mention somewhere of how jisun isnt one to cry but if jiwon cries first then she will. which makes me assume from what youve mentioned that jisun probably feels more emotional if another member is first? hhhhhh thats so soft though yeahhhhh

omg okay and you prefer jisun as a top hdlkgjalgasd i did Not realize that even through our 2jirom discussions; i definitely wanna agree with you though ahahha jisun feels more of a top and a bit of a tease/denier. for chaeyoung HONESTLY ive written her twice and both times as tops but i think the same like??? shes honestly super soft after you get past all the snarking and joking hlkdglsdfgdf i would completely agree

my favourite fromis pairings . . . honestly any pairings with saerom :D

#qs #flover anon #i have a soft spot for saerom with hayoung jiwon or jisun thoughhhhh #also tell me who youd tag yourself as for the fromis thingy!!! #^^^ open to any other flovers as well of course

[lizacstuff]

SCK episode 46 asks!

Hi folks, below the read more you'll find a smattering of asks about this week's episode as well as a few spoilers for 47.

Good asks this week:

(under the cut)

Anonymous asked: this may be superficial of me, but why are they dressing Serkan in such ugly tops? they finally brought Eda's hair back but now this

BWAH! You're not wrong. You know what I'm wondering, if they've put him in some of those outfits because they are showing his suburban dad side? It's kind of a subtle nod to him embracing father hood and a different way of life? He's now all about running around the yard after his daughter and not about what he looks like when he's being SERKAN BOLAT, FAMOUS BUSINESS MAN and WORLD'S BEST ARCHITECT.

Also, Eda's hair, thank goodness they let that go once the flashbacks were over and we didn't need something to distinguish between then and now! Those curly bangs were not it.

Anonymous asked: They built up the Edser chemistry soooooo well throughout the episode... for that ending? Who decided to cut it there?! The scene was BEAUTIFUL I’m actually upset lol. are not we going to see any more? I’m not asking for a sex scene, I wanted to see THE moment they decided to get back together (the tattoo line doesn’t do it for me) - a few words, tears as they embrace, him walking through the door as she closes it, one passionate kiss, something! But it doesn’t feel like a cliffhanger that continues next week. I’ll be so underwhelmed when they cut to the morning after and we have to infer that they got back together overnight *sigh* if they were allowed 1 kiss only, id rather it have been here instead of ep 2

We do deserve to see how they reconcile, that should be one of the biggest moments of the season after 7 episodes of build up to it.

90% of final scenes in this show have continued uninterrupted the next week. To me there's no reason to think the next episode won't pick up right where this one left off. Crossing fingers!

Anonymous asked: It just hit me that Serkan is the “Kiraz” for Kemal - but Kemal actually missed his child’s whole 35 years 😬 this is an interesting turn of events. Also that line Serkan said about how fathers should love their child’s mother and how he didn’t have that with his own parents....but his real dad does love Aydan, more than she deserves haha.

Oh so true! Kemal really does love his mother more than she deserves! How he puts up with her, I don't know.

The parallel between Serkan/Kemal and Kiraz/Serkan is strong and I hope it gives Serkan some perspective when he starts grappling with this knowledge. I'm sure it's going to be very disconcerting for him, because while he expected to never see his father again, Alptekin is still his father. He's still the man who raised him and formed him into the man he is. Serkan still runs the company he founded and bears his name.

I don't expect any of that to change, but hopefully he can forge a separate relationship with Kemal that might fill some emotional holes that he has and bring him some peace.

None of that even contemplates how Kemal will feel, thankfully Aydan didn't willfully hide the truth from him. How awful to realize you lost 35 years.

We aren't there yet, but I wonder at what age with Kiraz learn the truth, that her dad is not an astronaut, that her parents went through hell with with cancer and plane crashes, and that her father didn't know of her existence until right before they met?

Just something to think about.

Anonymous asked: i'm so happy for hanker, don't get me wrong, and i'm also so happy we get "together" edser for so many episodes until the end, but i'm already tired of the constant "hanker improvising" comments i know i will be seeing. not that they don't improvise in some scenes, but i just know that every romantic edser scene is gonna be analyzed to hell bc ppl want to look for hanker in them. like there's no possible way that ayse, the writer ppl hate the most, could write any romantic scenes.. nope no way!

Yes, this is one of my pet peeves, I can't stand the "Edser left the chat" and all the "that's Hanker, not Edser" type conversation. it's so invasive and most of all disrespectful to not only the writers, but Hande and Kerem and all the work they pour into bringing Eda and Serkan to life.

One of the things in fandom that sets my teeth on edge is when folks take some interpretation of the character by the actor and then decide because it wasn't "scripted" (pro tip the vast majority of physical movements the actors make are "unscripted") that it must just be the actors themselves and have nothing to do with the characters. What an embarrassing and naïve assertion. Actors literal job is to take what's on the page and then translate that. So, no, OF COURSE, every look and touch is not scripted. The actors interpret how their characters would think and feel, and what they would do in given moments and then do those things.

Eda is not touching Serkan's arm just because Hande can't hold herself back from touching Kerem. Puh-lease, they are professionals. Grow up.

However, having said all that, I do think there was one scene that seemed to be very improvised this episode. The bean scene in the grocery store did feel like them just eFFing around. LOL.

andhewonherheart asked: @andhewonherheart: SCK promo department is best and worst all at the same time, cause giving away the last (cliffhanger) scene in fragman is just cruel. But based on the next week’s fragman thing happens that we we think happens *wink*

Hee! So true. The thing I'm grateful for is that in season 2 not one fragman has made me dread the episode, I think there was at least one fragman an episode from 29-37 that was hella upsetting.

As far as I'm concerned these fragmans are doing there job, making me want to watch.

I am really excited for Serkan planning how he's going to ask Eda to marry him, I wonder what Kiraz's reaction is going to be. So far she's been their very own cupid!

Anonymous asked: I didn't find it surprising that Serkan removed his tattoo as soon as Eda left. His logic is always out of sight out of mind though it doesn't work. He did the same when he broke up with her when he found out about the death of her parents. He removed all of her belongings. But their memories are too strong and enough for him to continue to remember her.

Truth! Will he ever learn that it's never going to work? He'll never be able to erase Eda, she has left an indelible mark on his soul. Let's hope he's never faced with that situation again! From here on out, he and Eda are together, a unit, and will live a long life together and in love.

Anyone have any guesses where Eda's tattoo is? Will we find out or will it remain between the characters.

Anonymous asked: I've seen some people say that Edser are getting married now way too fast and to that I just have to laugh lol. First there were complaints we don't have happy Edser and now when we do, of course there's something else. These two have had a rollercoaster of a year when they first met and a five year separation.. they've been through the dating phase, the engaged phase.. of course they'll head straight to the altar! It's not like Eda's plane proposal and that first wedding wasn't rushed either!

I'm on team head straight to the alter! No more waiting. They've had terrible luck, so they just need to tie the knot and make sure there are no easy outs.

As for people who think it's too fast, they don't even know the storyline yet, I swear there are folks who complain just because that's their personality and they're never satisfied.

Anonymous asked: From some of the spoilers of BTS pics, and the fragman we got, I was just reflecting on this season and Turk romcom dizis in general and I just wanted to say how LUCKY we are to see Edser married (again, from spoilers) and with a kid on screen for more than just 10 minute at the end of the finale. Like, it is really rare and as much as people have nitpicked on this season in general, I feel like watching these last episodes have been such a breeze after the last arc of S1.

Oh agreed, I think these episodes have been very enjoyable. The writers are giving me exactly what I want from this show. Comedy, UST, romance with a little light angst thrown in now and again. I would rewatch this season a dozen times before even thinking about watching anything from the 30s.

We are very lucky that we've got to see them as parents, and actually forming their family. We've gotten so much domestic goodness so far and we still have a ways to go. I'm very appreciative of this season and that Ayse came back, got rid of the constant ridiculous melodrama for melodrama's-sake and is telling a very human story about family and love persevering.

Anonymous asked: the last scene gave me chills for some reason. you could actually see eda fighting her head and her heart and deciding to take the step (metaphorically and physically!) towards him for good. i wanna SUE whoever decided to end it the ep there though.. it was actually cruel. also looking at the next frag.. it makes my heart soft that in the flashbacks we see serkan pushing off their wedding bc of his fears and now he can't propose and get married fast enough.. can't believe we're really getting it

I know, it's almost surreal at this point. Since we're near the end we know it's for real and won't be ruined by psychos or awful family members or terminal illness. I just hope that they give us an emotional scene when they get married, whether its just them or the whole cast is there as guests, after everything they've (we've) been through we need to see them both feeling that moment and reveling in it.

FYI - I'm out of town next weekend, so I may be slower than usual in replying to asks and in posting gifs of 47, but I'll get to it all eventually!

#Sen Çal Kapımı #Sen Cal Kapimi #Edser #sckask #sck episode discussion #edser discussion #asklizac jmo personal life #singles anonym

[normal-thoughts-official]

Makoto plot line by Lêx?

thank you for this totally 100% spontaneous ask that you sent of your own free will, anon!

okay, so here's the thing. i dont like makoto. not really. he's annoying af and basically useless. bitch does nothing but hide behind haru cuz he's scared of everything and be blushy and soft in that spineless way, you know? like he just lets everyone push him around and treats everyone in such an unfuriatingly uniform, fake-cheery, ultra helpful way that it's his whole personality

but here's the thing! it gets sad. you know? especially considering how he, like, seems to basically live to enable haru? in all the worst ways. like it's nice of course that he helps haru with his depression but there's a point when it becomes enabling and that point is when makoto is running after haru all the time trying to solve his messes, remind him of his own damn responsibilities, and basically take care of haru's whole life so he doesn't have to. again, helping is good, but by worrying about the things haru doesn't worry about and preventing him from facing the consequences of not doing anything basically lmao he enables haru to never fucking get out of his constant stupor. also, as previously said, he's spineless, which means that he never truly goes against haru's wishes. so like. enabler. bad

which is my main beef with makoharu, which is actually the most popular ship in the fandom because ppl have no taste and also dont know how to interpret shit. tho tbh even makoharu shippers are like "i ship makoharu because makoto deserves to be happy and he wants haru!" so even they acknowledge that.... haru isn't into him lmao. but anyway

point is: they pull each other back. im not gonna say it's abusive or something cuz i don't think it is, i wouldn't even call it toxic, but it's stale in the worst kind of way. makoto enables not only haruka's depression, but also his self destructive and to some extent relationships destructive behavior, setting his growth back. and makoto lives and exists to take care of haru. he has no dreams, no goals, hell, not even INTERESTS. his whole thing is just. haru. where haru goes, he follows. and. that's it basically

which is why the fact that so many makoto stans ship makoharu is also baffling to me, because if i were a makoto fan, i'd probably hate haru, lmao. i mean, makoto is going around doing all this work for him, plus emotional labor, and haru never gives him much back really. and it's obvious that haru doesn't like makoto the same way makoto likes him, but makoto is just out there taking whatever scraps he can get, and haru just sort of. probably doesn't even notice cuz that's been their dynamic since they were kids. and makoto knows that, too. so like. if i stanned makoto. id fucking hate haru for that tbh

and honestly it's bad writing because i think the writers couldn't care less about makoto lmao and also didn't know what to do with him, which i think becomes increasingly obvious as seasons go by and he's just sort of. there. they tried to give him his own plotlines and even dreams but it never stuck. he feels like a doll most of the time. even in s1, which was widely rinharu-focused and barely had any other characters have real plotlines unless you count the one (1) episode where they try to teach rei how to swim, makoto was particularly uninteresting and underexplored and developed. like, the other characters might not have had huge importance but at least they had personalities. makoto didn't, really, unless you count "mama henning haru" and "being uwu" as a personality

but my point is: what if makoto got some real writing? what if we explored his character, and his relationship with haru, in a more critical, dimensional way?

makoto is in love with haru, i think that's indisputable. haru isn't in love with makoto, which i also think is indisputable. makoto himself knows that what haru has with rin is special and beyond what makoto and haru have, he says that, he even says that he was jealous of rin. yet he stays. even when rin comes back, and haru and rin become friends again, and it's obvious they're going to be together, makoto stays. he takes care of haru, which is some pretty damn stressful work, and does all this emotional labor for him, and haru barely gives him, like, a smile every once in a while, lmao, and again it's sad. but makoto stays. and - that's an important part to me - it doesn't seem to be because he has any hopes that haru will come around. so why

i think they're stuck in a loop, and that makoto has been in love with haru, and being not only his emotional support, but basically the one thread connecting him with the outside world (while simultaneously enabling him to continue as detached from it as he can, because he's not bringing haru out to the world, he's bringing the world to accommodate haru) for so long, he doesn't really know what else to do. also, he feels guilty about leaving haru to his own devices, even if obviously there's nothing he can do if haru won't help himself. also, he's scared of losing him, because he's been defining himself for his relationship with haru for so long, he doesn't know where else to go

i think that's supported by his relationship with other characters. like i said, makoto is annoyingly kind to everyone (if im not mistaken, the name makoto actually does mean kind) and a MASSIVE pushover. he never goes against anyone's wishes. he never really throws in what he wants. he doesn't really interfere with anyone's plans and ideas, he just sorta makes it happen. he is never annoyed, never has any quirks, is never even like, tired, you know? he lives to please other people, to the point where he has no personality, interests, or wishes beyond that

so, yeah: i think makoto is scared that, if he doesn't please other people, there's nothing else left for him. and in a way, he is right, because i don't think he would know what to do with himself if he had to look into himself and figure out what he wants out of life. so it's easier to follow others and dedicate himself to them. also, fear of loneliness is very valid, even if i dont think any of his friends would actually leave him if he weren't being their damn mom all the time. but they also let it happen, especially haru, because it's convenient, and again, homeboy barely has the energy to go to school, much less help makoto unpack all of that

but if i were writing free!, id want to explore that, because it has so much potential to be a pretty damn rich story, actually. especially as the story progresses, because one effect of rin being back and haru running the whole swimming club and trying to prepare for their race is that haru needs makoto less and less as time goes by. because he has a motivation. he cares about his grades because if he doesn't keep them up he won't be allowed to keep working in the swimming club, he cares about teaching the newbie (the rei i mentioned before) how to swim because otherwise they won't be able to run against rin in the medley race, hell, he reforms the whole entire pool that was abandoned so they have a place to train (with help, but like, he couldnt be bothered with getting up to school before). he even goes back to drawing so he can make pamphlets to attract more people to the club

and then he finds his love for swimming again, especially as a team, competitively. he finds his love for people again, for human interaction, for competition and the thrill of the sport he loves. haru finds his motivation, and he starts putting his life back on track and working towards his goals, and haru is damn capable. and that means that makoto has a lot of free time in his hands now, and haru is slipping through them, and he knows he can't really keep their relationship as he was. and he shouldn't, honestly, and i think that he's, at least, smart enough to know this

and he has a crisis, because again, he's been defining himself through haru for the longest goddamn time, im talking all the way from middle to high school here. and he doesn't know who he is. he doesn't know what he wants. he barely knows what he likes

but he's not alone either, because again, makoto is haru's best friend, and haru does like him and it's not like he's all "i found my purpose with rin now. peace out". his journey was also about finding his whole support system with his friends. through relearning how to swim in a team, he also relearned human connection and friendship. that's one of the many beauties of rinharu. they inspired each other to make their lives better, including in ways that have nothing to do with each other, and they weren't even trying to

so he has haru, but in a now radically different dynamic, and also rei and nagisa (his teammates) and gou (rin's sister and also their trainer) (rin and gou don't go to the same school for some reason). and everyone is going through a similar crisis, because it's the last year of high school. rin obviously has known that he wants to be an athlete since he was a kid, but everyone else's plans are kinda sketchy. makoto just happens to have some extra flavor in that mission - he's not just trying to figure out what he wants to do, but who he is

and fuck if i know how that would develop from there, but id really love to see makoto finding himself, honestly. i want to see his issues being addressed. the only backstory we have for him is that he's afraid of the ocean because he almost drowned at some point? i dont remember. i want to know why the fuck he's been repressing his own needs and personality so hard. i want to know what had him so scared of the world that it was easier to forget about himself and basically live through haru. i want to know what he's going to do to find himself, and the very, very painful journey of looking at himself and his own needs, and, in many ways, his own emptiness, because makoto essentially carved himself hollow. i want makoto to have dimension and depth, and be relatable and not just a dumb shell of uwuness for ppl to swoon over and want to protecc, not even because i like him, but because it could be so interesting. and relatable in so many ways. like, god damn it. if you wanna make him one of the main characters, give him a real plotline!

and i want to see him finding out that his life is better when he's a little more detached from haru and not living in an endless pursuit of a relationship, but having a network of people he loves and that has mutual support. i want to see him getting over haru, not so he can have some other romance with someone else, but so he can grow. makoto basically doesn't grow at all the whole show, and it's sad to watch, especially as everyone else grows so much

#ask #anonymous #long post #anti makoharu #anti tachibana makoto #meta #freestalgia #rinharu

[cherryonigiri]

Kuroo w/a confident + active S/O

@onedayiwillcreatecoolernickname​ asked: im a confident person, whats visible both in my looks and personality. i love standing out of the crowd, so wearing extravagant clothes and crazy hair colors is something that im well known of. but i dont have a particular aesthetic, so my clothing style is various (grunge, pastel, boho, sexy, vintage, tomboy; basically everything). even though im 170 cm tall, i like wearing high heels a lot and tbh, it doesn't make me feel awkward or insecure when i'm being taller than some boys. i often end up as a leader of the group and i think im a good one, because i have almost all the required qualities (creative patient helpful observant talkative), and every project that i take a part in is successful, so. but talking sbout ppl; i love taking care of them so much, seriously. youre cold? here, take my jacket. its getting dark already? dont worry, ill take you home. youre feeling anxious? lets talk and ill try my best to make u feel at ease. you need a hug? come here bby. as much as i enjoy discussing with other ppl, learning about their beliefs and exchanging my opinions with them, i also appreciate it a lot when we can be silent with each other, doing totally different things. but still, im happy the most when i have someone with whom i can have a deep conversation, because im not really into small talk. i need stimulation, the feeling that im constantly learning something new about everything. im just so fascinated and in love with the world haha. and maybe some facts about me. im cuddly and affectionate af with people that i like (and bcs of that other ppl that i must be in relationship with my friends, but its all platonic gay i swear). im ticlish and in general, touch-sensetive af. i identify as pansexual. i have 0 male friends, mostly because of my past bad experience with boys (bullying etc), but also because in my environment theres a lot more girls, so yeah. at home i often wear shorts and tshirts, because im quite hot ; ) im really into personal development and psychology, because people and their minds fascinate me and id want to know them better. i love learning new languages (im fluent in polish & english, less advanced in spanish and russian, but im still learning), writing both my own stories and letters, i also draw a little and i think im quite good at it. volleyball is definitely my favourite sport, but i enjoy running, cycling and matrial arts too.

A/N: Last of my matchup requests! Hope you enjoy 💖

Your matchup is

Kuroo Tetsurou

Loves that you are super confident + self-reassured. You know what you’re capable of and not afraid to assert that you’re good at what you do (he finds your confidence super attractive)

Another thing Kuroo loves about you is your undending curiousity - he loves that you always want to learn something new

Would totally flirt with you by texting/telling you fun facts about science or anything else - would pay attention to whatever you are interested at the moment and then go home and research fun facts to share with you

Enjoys studying together with you - he likes that you try to find meaning in what you’re learning + apply it outside of how to score well on exams

Studying together is something you look forward to because the two of you just being with each other - you don’t necessarily have to go out on a “formal” date to spend time with him.

You just enjoy having his presence around - since you appreciate + value silence I feel like a lot of times you would just lounge around in the house and not really do much 

That being said - you are both people who like to have things to do most of the time - so he makes the effort to take you out on regular dates 

You guys probably love going to museums + different exhibitions/galleries around the city since you both enjoy learning more about the world

Aquarium dates??? YES. 

I feel like Kuroo loves your sense of fashion/style and would love to try to coordinate outfits to match or pair well with each other. If you want he would be down to have you style him for the day

Would understand if you were uncomfortable around his friends/team at first - but hopes that you will eventually be able to get along with them 

If you are open to hanging out with/socializing with the boys’ volleyballl team he’ll be really aware of the situation/atmosphere and make sure that you aren’t uncomfortable 

If you get close with the team,yYou two probably co-parent his volleyball team - you’re probably the unofficial manager/mom of the team (sorry yaku)

Will often hold study/review sessions for his team and you always seem to have plenty of their favorite snacks/foods 

Vice versa I think Kuroo would put forth a genuine effort to get to know your friends - he is big on reciprocation and really appreciates how much time you spend getting to know his friends

Wouldn’t mind sitting with your group of friends during lunch and chatting with them - if your group of friends doesn’t mind + he isn’t intruding he’d be happy to hang out with you all on the weeekends

If you’re interested in learning Japanese he’d be more than happy to help whenever you need it. 

You’re good at getting a grasp on the basics but helps with the more complex stuff + stuff that is related to culture/history + idioms or sayings that don’t make sense when translated literally

Probably asks you to teach him English/Polish or you two decide to learn a new language together. 

Kuroo definitely is very physically affectionate (aka. Look at my cuddling hcs for him) but isn’t the biggest on PDA

He prefers just having some kind of physical contact with you - like holding your hand, arm around your waist/shoulder - occasional kisses on the cheek/pecks on the lips but nothing over the top

Would love it if you play volleyball casually with him - maybe a group of your friends + his friends together could spend a day on the beach playing volleyball together

I feel like the two of you would be a couple that likes to work out together/try new things together

Morning runs together are fun - it gives you the extra motivation + it’s a nice way to spend some time with Kuroo

#kuroo x reader #Kuroo Tetsurou #kuroo tetsurou x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu matchups #haikyuu!! #haikyuu imagines #kuroo tetsuro #kuroo tetsuro x reader #nekoma

[misterbitches]

some thots. having a bad time so this is rougher than usual. oh well

....

i guess he really does know hiim best cos if that was my mans (man specifically cos if anyone else did that id take it more srsly) i would be like oh my god ur singing me a love song? i would love it but i woudl SCREAM in embarrassment. UNLESS it was a really deep love song that's about us dying together.

like i want to eat ur skin type of thing (drain u nirvana) lmaoa but i really like this song it reminds me of that velvet underground song (the only one i know cos of juno lmao) and nico or whatever 'i'm sticking with you)

my adhd would be out of fucking control i had to spend my time listening to this looking around i kept getting distracted by a tissue and thinking "wow this song is nice but i wish it would end bc i am getting distracted" and lo and behold i paused it and i have to pee and i know it's gonna take forever to undo this

ok about 12m later i turned it back on and they kissed and then he bit the corn then that night li chen also lost his virgin teas after watching gay porn and being like "hm interesting" and he'll be like "i see, ur dick is not medium sized"

i'm honestly gagging i cannot at this 12 year old marrying his mom

beautiful theyre beautiful

ayea you fucking psycho we do too because he was 17 and we had to witness it (or well, other people did cos i didnt watch the show even tho wayne song is [BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEP BEEEEP] and i want him to [BEEEEEEEP] and ppl even liked it which is fine like i get it in theory but they put this in my eyeballs so i'm gonna make fun of it bc it's fuckin DUMB lmao like i can't I CANNOT and he said "u were so persistent" BITCH UR 30??!?!???!?!?!?)capi hve it on mute and i tried to get a screencap of li chen and mu ren like together and not just his face but i cant find the timestamp and seeing their faces as they get married is literalyl traumattizing i'm like scremaing at my screen going "HE'S 5 HE'S 5 HE'S 5" and every time theyre like "we acn live forever together" like no bitch ur bones rae creaking

also is the officiator white? if anyone knows why or if that's common i'd love to know more. EDIT: HE ISN'T I JUST THOUGHT HE LOOKED LIKE MOBY FROM THAT ANGLE

anyway here

i'm almost done with this fucking bullshit and i am in a really ould mood and usu they make it a bit better but imo it's kind of....annoying i guess balancing all these story elements and introducin gother couples (even in the periphery) since the story in itself can't focus. i feel like all in all the time spent with these two is a lot more limited and we get the feel for the rship because of their chemistry as actors, irl chemistry as friends and colleagues, and hopefully being happy and working on a good set. so it isn't the strength of the writing or production.

for some reason they get like less dynamic ways of being together which i think is part of their charm, they do things their own way, but the writers really should have substantiated this more. it's really just the way everyone in the show has managed to deliver these AWFUL story lines and production decisions (like seriously who the fuck was on costume? lighting?)

like maybe hot take but all the moments that are cringe and insane in the show are not pleasant, per se, because they aren't thought out clearly. so they're not a joy to watch in the normal sense but the actors are good enough to pull it off. i didn't cringe at the talks they had because it felt like actors like acting these lines out instead of us being embarrassed for it and you CAN TELL theyre embarrassed.

this is a huge kudos to the casting director and the actors and whatever crew that actually did a good job. i don't particularly like watching bo xiang and his grandfather husband not because of the content but because i feel like, to me, they're so awkward even though they have chemistry. i don't have that issue with xing si and his rapist brother boyfriend because watching them is actually really pleasant, it's intimate. this isn't to do with the story though because when it hits you how devoid this other person is and how stupid the situation is it changes (for me, for me, for me, this is all my opinion think whateverrrr u want im not telling u 2 ok!)

so truly kudos to this cast. idk if i'm misremembering here but imo the most cast appropriate series in this was crossing the line and close to you. one is a decent atmosphere and execution (yes even with that brother story line, notice the major key differences though because that's a sincere false equivalence. they try to execute power imbalances soooo badly and then fail every time but here's one meant to shock too and it was just likelmao ok girl?)

it may not make sense to say either in a writing way or for the character to do it but i believe that whoever the characters these people are supposed to be especially those super not well written on the page still get that message aacross (yong jie's actor is a good ex. not sure if i should ccongratulate him for having the worst job on earth and the worst character and his character is flat but. ostensibly they should let their actions speak for themselevs but what they do is they back themselves into a ccorner with unsuretyabout their characters or a dilemma that pops up they just want to excuse it. well guess hwat u couldnt do enough legwork. but to some extent the disposable side couple works here on a um "our eyes see them and get it" way

also to me it seems like they chose this story just to have this specific wedding. like it's a timely topic and i'm pretty sure like another provision? (correction? idk) was made WRT taiwanese same-sex marriage so it's topical but it isn't like a "papa and daddy" situation where they're interacting in it and there (for ex: the pride parade) and there being like real life terms and consequences. here it seems like they were like ah yes wedding ah yes dumb couple from modc bc we kiled off the other one sooooo (then outsource them to life love on the line u__u) then hamfisting in some fucking message which is funny bc

- despite the hints peppered in and the clear attraction they both acknowledge ur like ~not gay just him~ even tho...i mean i just. again they dont read over what they write i don't think considering. but wahtever.

- the only gay dude (verbally said) is with his rapist brother with an awful power dynamic oh or IS a rapist (gao) (or his brother but i think it was just a "im a psycho so it's him" thing unless they said it. in which case idc cos i wasnt paying attn but that's also not great) or i guess the wedding but like....that's also a ridiculously inappropriate and dumb relationship taht it's built on. i mean i don't really see much respect her so i dont particularly want to hear abt gay weddings being important when they didn't even utilize it in the story beforehand and have we ever. this is a huge indication to me that it was a reverse engineered chosen story beforehand (if it was one) or thought of

soooooo

so reversal of that....it didnt give us enough time to breathe with these two at all but for both of the actors they can capitalize what's on the page and the writers didn't. like their dynamic is very i give/you give like taking car eof each other etc that's why

again, no artist worth their salt will ever say their work meant nothing. that's a cover up. i'm sick of lazy production and then getting away with it claiming being subversive or attacking an issue by not doing anything. we show crazy shit all the time but it has a POINT and ur point is "i like the gays" then girl.....i mean it's not great

but the acting really carried it. i have a feeling if this series continues it might continue to use more experienced actors cos maybe the budget goes up but they also have less inhibitions now when it comes to acting. i like the way li chen expresss himself and teng teng too. i like anson a lot and there's some angles that did not do any favors and i think eh has to get more control of his body movements (bc he's SO LARGE and thin) but he wasn't bad at all and there were real human tears. of course i, personally, favor charles tu. he has more control over his body because he has...less to work with and he's a bit bigger and he was really great in this role. he's a himbo a bit of a meathead but you like him. you like them. there's some things i think they had them say and do that they wouldn't let happen if they stuck to the characters and the story (mainly liking that dumb idiot rapist)

what i notice is that the reprehensible actions people criticize others for in the show and in real human life lalways gets turned around. teng teng being surprised that this boy's grandfather boyfriend met him when he was a junior in high school and he's 12 years older and him apologizing for being shocked and then whatshisface going "ur better at it than most people" and then the convo about gao with whatshisface and then rapist brother comes to pick him up. they are admonishing gao but thinking that rapist brother is noble for doin gwhat he did (and oh rapist brother shows up) like the hypocrisy and the decisions are immense. so now it's like "guys see he's a great guy" like girl STICK TO SOMETHING but whatever so i live in this universe where muren and li chen do everything right and have lots of different interesting fun seex with all their friends. i would write this but i cannot i am dying

#history 4: close to you #history 4 #li chen x mu ren #a thot

[animatedarchives]

ohmygod, by the way, as an enfp i am. A LOUDASS PERSON SORRY- ppl who’ve heard me tell me they can hear my indecipherable screeching from the text i write,,, but i guess thats a wide effect of putting two campaigners together :insertclownemoji: o and this is random but its a question i ask ppl to get to know them better- what’s something invisible, but you wish you could see (like wind, or sound) and also why?

ITS OK ive gotten that comment too HAHAHA sometimes i wonder if im too loud and people think im obnoxious 👁👄👁 oops- LOL

OOOHHH what an interesting question i love stuff like this HEH ok honestly this sounds so lame LMAO BUT LIKE id really love to see a physical depiction of love or happiness. bc if i could see say like a meter of whether/how much someone loved me/others, i think it would be pretty cute HAHA and if i could see a meter of how happy someone was, i’d go out of my way to purposely make them happy if they were feeling down :>

#soph banters #nonnies and friends 💗 #kieran 🔥

[edwardashley]

Tepi Watches The Terror Ep 1.

alright so here’s the first in a 10 part series ig. always been tangentially aware abt the Terror and i know 3 things. 1) based on real ppl 2) there’s a monster!!!! and 3) Hickey is gay evil rat man. so i didnt know much. but i DID know that when i watched it i’d probably like it a lot so i put it off waiting for the Right Time. Now is that time.

Let’s start with episode 1 . . .

oh jeez already there’s some grizzle white men im gonna have a hell of a time differentiating characters on this show

i hope this inuit language here is authentic

are sailors recquired to acknowledge and say “captain” when the captain is around or is that just like? exposition writing

THERES HICKEY

omg Jared Harris accent time i love it

love the juxtaposition of the officers dinner with the rest of the crew (what are the non-officers group called?) how are there so many officers tho.... what do they..... do all day

also how has their like fancy china and glasses no broken presumably this shipped has gone through some gales

dla;kfjdlkjf i CANNOT take this coughing up blood thing seriously it looks so silly

my roommate walked in and said “this opening looks like black sails meets mad men”

im absolutey fucking LIVING for these wide green screen shot tho like. the overwhelming whiteness? I LOVE how desolate and lost it makes them look/feel

also the snow on everything is so fun like it makes it feel gritty and Real but like? in a refreshing way that we havent seen in martime media before

why does the dog not have a little coat ala Snowy in Tintin and the Shooting Star. arent you homosexuals? don’t you make your dog matching coats like Tintin?

I’ve only had Goodsir for 5 minutes and if anything happens to him I’ll kill everyone in this room and also myself (i know bad things are going to happen rip to me i guess)

i would also like to have Goodsir whisper to me on my deathbed

oH DUDE WTF THAT HALLUCINATION FREAKED ME TF OUT??? oh JEEZ if im already getting scared from the first ep this does not bode well for me akldjfldkasjf

my roommate leaves saying “this is too overwhelming for me” lol

my thoughts while Jared Harris is explaining his sailing route. must dialogue be interesting? is it not enough to want to see Jared Harris existing?

oh he’s so awkward god bless i will kiss crozier on the nose

“abandon the erebeus” oh TOBIAS MENZIES IS NOT HAPPY

really dig this vintage diving suit

oH FUCKNIG SHIT AHHHHHH!! COLLINS ID BE HYPERVENTILATING TOO?

i mean congrats to The Terror 2018 for somehow hitting fear of small space and fear of open spaces AND fear of being hunted AT THE SAME TIME didnt htink that was possible but quality horror right there

Collins needs a hug :(

wait so Sir John and Tobias Menzies still wear their full uniforms even when they eat meals alone together? seems over kill

the lighting is so white.... i cannot.... i cannot tell who anyone is jesus christ. all these duedes burying this dude? who are they? the dialogue then was like “hickey is here” and im like HE IS???? undenerneath all that clothing? bundle him up. like a burrito. has anyone done like a pre-school AU for this im just the captains like. leading a chain of kids through the snow and you can only see their noses under their puffy parkas, and theyre all hanging onto a rope lol.

this show better give me some tasty class difference drama

oh that episode felt so fast whoah? okay time to make dinner and then on to ep 2 so expect a write up in like 3 hours or so :)

#the terror amc #cornelius hickey #francis crozier #harry goodsir #gonna tag maybe like two or three charas per live blog depending on who i talk about most #liveblog

[lovingloudly-archived]

i had an amazing day with my friends :-) ! a lot of rambling about it below ! 🌈🧸

i really can't even verbalise how good today was - i was just buzzing the entire time which i guess is a good sign?? but jeeeez today was incredible!!! i was feeling super inauthentic and fake and doubting if my personality was real etc the last couple of weeks but like… being around these three goofs who i've learned to call my genuine friends (even though i've only known them since sept when we started college) has made me feel so real and heard and involved and aaaaah i would do anything for them.. they are. so wonderful ?? 

i never thought id find a real life group friends like this honestly. and i mean, internet friends are a whole different thing!! i just can't even explain how amazing it is to have people who know me for who i am irl first and foremost rather than what i sometimes feel like i am online which is some sort of idealized version of myself (which isn't true either way. i'm being myself regardless babie and i'm trying to remember that!!) but i just... i just feel so alive and unstoppable with them and i actually feel open expressing things to them?? for the first time i sent them a sentimental ramble kinda like what this is which is very big for me honestly.. when i met them i was fully prepared to never? be truly open with them?? and yet how supportive they've been towards me has completely blindsided me and i'll forever be grateful for all they've done for me so far :,)

i didn't know how they would respond to me being so passionately thankful to know them when they may not reciprocate it. but today really helped me like.. realise that they do care about me and that they love me back which i never expected. today really just kinda… put me back inside my body??? they make me feel like myself again and that its okay to be myself - i wanna cry about it tbh i just feel so happy and grateful to know them. and we saw sonic together btw!!! which was. so wholesome and fun and genuinely enjoyable omg. it had... like elements of all of us in our group of 4, jack said it was like the epitome of us which idk that stuck with me like wow we really have like... learned each others interests and everything after 5-ish months of being friends and it's oddly soft to have that irl :( and i had never seen a movie with more than one friend before this?? so being with my group and just passing our giant popcorn together and bonking my head against one of my friend’s (selin) shoulder bc physical affection babie and calling her pretty and going wild when we saw an ad for our college being like “omg put us in we go THEREEE !!” and. again just. not being afraid to express that i genuinely love them was the best…. i’m v overwhelmed in a positive way sjddjksks. 

i just feel so real and secure in who i am because of them and i hope i get to feel like this more as i...... ?? “recover”? idk i’m still struggling with realising that what i've gone through and been hurt through is enough to validate some sort of recovery but i know i deserve it. everyone deserves that inherently :(

also, if you have seen the sonic movie already, you will know that there is a certain song near the beginning by uhh my fav band wink wink i don't wanna spoil incase any fans see this i want them to see the movie and b surprised with seeing this song playing bc i almost cried. and i ??? hand flapped openly when it played and my friends didn’t judge me or anything i love them i… ??? i’m overwhelmed ohh my gosh i love my friends …. i love them so much. they've been so supportive and there for me when they could have just been these... very uninvolved friends who didn't make any attempt to talk to me unless i initiated it but they aren't that. they're conversational and supportive and care enough to remember the things i like and actually who i am and involve me in things and treat me like i actually add something to the group and asdfghjdfklj i’m v. very thankful for my friends oh myy goodness... i love them so much. 

ALSO. ??? okay silly thing. i hugged all 3 of them today which i ? also initiated which felt very risky bc i always have that lurking fear that my affection or kindness will be rejected and i guess that has made me suppress those sort of things a lot but i hugged all 3 of them!! with selin its a regular thing and her hugs are v soft, harrison’s one was quick bc he had to leave but i just love that despite the other two giving him fistbumps i felt confident enough to jsut.. give him a liddol hug bc i appreciate him and i hope he knows that :( the only other time so far weve hugged was bc he got super excited about his christmas present i got him (its a pin and he wears it everywhere now i could cry!!!!) 

and i hugged jack for the first time which is !! like a v silly little thing but for a bit he was the one i talked to least? but gradually we’ve been closer with each other which is v fun bc we are solidarity in many ways fjsdnvfhkfrjgf...... the curly hair.. the hypermobility (we found this out today and we both went wild btw!! spiderman pointing at each other meme in real life im telling u), the way we say the exact same things, the gay solidarity... anyway i love hugging people oml i haven't had this many hugs in one day maybe *ever*!! so it was euphoric leave me aloneeeeee let me be dramatic i am ridiculously touchstarved goshfhj. they're also all taller than me which isnt saying much i UNDERSTAND THIS (tumblr has made me think my height was average until i went to college and EVERY person i come in contact with is taller than me by a good bit) but omg... hugging taller people as i've now found out... is truly very neat!!!!!! u people that have previously been lucky enough to hug a tall ppl were right :D  it was gentle. hold each other gentle like hamburger !! 

harrison had to leave a lil bit earlier so he missed out on the sick group hug but jhkdmljdskfhg ogmjhkkh i feel so overly dramatic about that but genuinely just.......... and i didn't initiate that one! selin did and it meant so much to me like. idk i've had the fear for the longest time that i was just grotesqueeeee and nobody would be willing to interact with me let alone give me physical affection so having that and kinda just being comfortably squished between them......... the bliss i experienced in that moment u guys........... i cannot......... dang that was a long ramble just about the hugging alone can u tell how happy today made me ohmygogoshd........

argh okay last paragraph u get my point....... i never thought i would have friends like this so it's just like, im not exactly FEELING hope that it will happen it's the just the. god i don't know another more emotive word for it but just?? the realisation that it has happened and i have these guys and that i'm apart of something bigger than just myself instead of strictly one-on-one friendships, im apart of a group and i feel trusted by them and i feel just. i don't wanna say i was “meant” to meet them but i truly feel that meeting them has changed everything for me and i'll always be over the moon about that :,) ! 🌙🧸🌈💞🌙🧸🌈🌙🧸💞🌈🌙🧸💞🌈🌙🧸💞🌈

#chatter #comfort tag #i just want to remember this forever

[osamuniichann]

Map of the Soul: 7

After a ~315 day drought without new music and a comeback from the legends, we are finally back with MOTS: 7! It been a hot minute since ive done a album review (solely for myself LMAO) so lets get back into it bc this album is a home run

Interlude: Shadow. Here we have the extended version of the interlude. can i just say that the lyrics to this masterpiece are so real and true. its not suga speaking nor is it agust d, this is min yoongi speaking of his internal conflict with the celebrity life, which is heartbreaking. on another note, the visuals of the mv are stunning and the ending--dont u just wanna go apeshit??? truly a great addition to the album!

Black Swan. sister black swan has been with us for a month-ish now? it still bumps. HARD. i blasted this to and from my drive to work to the point where i was scared if id get sick of the song but that didnt happen. the way how its hard to pinpoint when and where a member would sing/rap because they INTENTIONALLY wanted the voices to blend as if they were one body. this is the group’s narrative on how no matter how passionate one is on a certain craft, when they lose that drive, its like a death. and it is up to themselves to spark that love and interest once again. a very relatable story across various media, talents, skills, etc.

Filter. When I first heard that this was a jimin solo showcasing the many sides of Jimin, i thought that it was going to be a sad ballad to kind of follow the theme mots: 7 seemed to give off; thought that it would talk about how he has to force personas onto himself to appeal to the masses, but it is the complete opposite. Jimin is all the faces he puts on, he can be cute, sweet, and caring Jimin but he is also a sexy, flirty young man that can attract any living being. how he switches from falsettos to a lower register voice is beyond me, what a versatile one he is! <3

My Time. Moving onto jungkook’s solo, I knew the lyrics were going to be sad especially when it seems to compare himself to others his age. How he speaks about how fast time runs for him, how his childhood and current life is not of the average 22 year old (LIKE UM HERE I AM, SAME AGE AS JUNGKOOK AND IM NORMAL AF while he’s out here breaking records?? WOW). but the life of jungoo can be a bit overwhelming, completely understandable. I just want our boi JK to know that he can be himself and live freely despite such different circumstances. On another note, the groove of this track is so GOOD. it reminds me of Ari and ugh i LIVE for this jam

Louder Than Bombs. When the track started, I could totally tell Troye Sivan helped produce it, it has such a unique sound that only Troye would use. It sounds like this song would totally be on a movie soundtrack IDK WHY. like, i can picture it during an apocalypse movie sldkjg im not completely sure what the meaning is to the song (bc im big stupid) but i feel like its a track saying that no matter the struggles, they will continue to sing confidently, strongly, and wholly to us endlessly. beautiful, just beautiful.

ON. Moving on to the title track of MOTS: 7! I’m very picky about strong anthem-type songs but ON is actually p addicting HAHA There’s a background sound that repeats in the back that sounds like Sans from Undertale, aint that wild LMAO but anyways, the Manifesto Film was crazy good. The drums, the band, the breakdown of it all? UNBELIEVABLE. Also, JK’s vocals during the bridge? H O W. That breakdown tho...oof, that was amazing. They still dance with the thirst that rookie bts would and i think thats why ppl are so drawn to them no matter how many years pass. Fun fact: the choreographer of ON as well as Dionysus actually is from my city in Hawaii and we went to the same high school THATS WILD. the talent she holds!

UGH! Rap line ATE this shit, are we KIDDING. An ode to all the hate comments that we receive, u can see how fed up they are. They made POINTS and we all agree, its the damn law. The way how they opened up with a gunshot, we knew it was coming. Everyone joked about how we bout to hear some gunshots on this album, well they threw ALL of it on this track. Can i just say that Hobi’s verse tho? it hits different, it really do. When they went “ahem, ahem. ahem, ahem-ahem, YOUR AHEM. AHEM-AHEM--” OOOOOUGH i felt that shit!! god, imagine this in concert...the building aint ready!

0:00 (Zero O’ clock). Now we have the vocal line track, we knew they were bout to present some vocals. Great sound, slow and reflecting. Not the first track I’d listen to but it is a great listen. The lyrics tho get to me. The way how they comfort us and say that life can be rough but you can be happy. no matter what happens, with the turning of the clock to 0:00, its a brand new day and we can make the day better. what a powerful message that all of us need to hear once in a while. we will be happy guys, we deserve to be.

Inner Child. Tae’s solo which is a message to his young self. I expected a slow ballad filled with his warm vocals reminiscent of Winter Bear, 4 o’ clock, and Scenery but boi was I wrong. He has this sunset glow voice that wraps u so warmly and the sound is just so happy, pure, and innocent. Its a hopeful message to his younger self on how we will change and be the amazing person we want to or will be. I was sobbing at this song, I tell u. It was 2:00 am in the morning and I was sobbing into my pillow. Imagine comforting your past self that everything will be okay and to take ur hand, it will be all worth it in the end. When he sang “ur my boy, my boy, my boy, my boy!” Ugh...the tears!

Friends. When I heard this was a vmin duet expressing their friendship with each other, I knew it was going to be so emotional! I didn’t expect such a fun, poppy sound tho. They truly are soulmates, the love they have for each other is so wholesome and real, it truly exhibits the love I have for my friends--they’ve been with me through thick and thin, during happy and sad times; the amounts of serotonin they give me is just HHHH. The way how Tae and Jimin have been friends since high school until now is just ugh...we love it. Towards the end when they started singing “you are my soulmate!” towards each other, i started sobbing so hard because WOW. the shivers i felt, this song made me so happy and full! 

Moon. Next we have Jin’s solo which is an ode to us army’s. And on another perspective, this is a song from the moon (jin) to the Earth (army)--i have tears in my eyes. The lyrics especially got me in a chokehold and made me sob, the way how he says that he will always be by our side no matter what, the same way how we are there for him...god. The chorus really gets to me, it feels so happy and thankful and I just want to tell Jin that I will forever follow him and the boys. They’ve been with me for years now and I will continue to support, love, and listen to them. Ily to the moon and back, our moon.

Respect. I didn’t expect a Namgi duet but HERE WE ARE. Goddd when i heard that i was SO EXCITE. They’ve known each other for +10 years now and they never miss the chance to tell everyone that they’ve been friends for that long. Not @ how they disliked each other at first but grew to be so mf close, to the point where their family. Ughhh, im so uwu rn. Im so happy, so so happy that Nams started it with AYO SUGA; i SCREAMED. Also, i heard that they recorded it in one take and i could see how much fun they had--especially considering that their rap styles are completely different. Even tho in the song they joke about not knowing what the word Respect means, we know...we just KNOW the high amounts of respect they have for each other. As they mentioned before, Yoon’s respects towards Nams’ leadership and care towards everyone and Nams’ respect towards Yoon’s love and passion for music and producing. Peak comedy is Yoongs overloading on autotune during his parts to the point where its intentional. Bless Namgi.

We are Bulletproof: The Eternal. I felt like a CLOWN when this track started. Like everyone, i thought we were going to have a third installment similar to that of the strong, hip-hop, gunshot-filled part 1 and 2 of we are bulletproof, but we were met with soft vocals and rap. The lyrics tho get to me. This truly was a song about their entire journey and i felt like I experienced all years with them. They’ve been through so much and the way how they sang “we are we are together/forever bulletproof!” They are proud of where they came from and it has stuck with them till now. They are such real people...i cry. ALSO the “We were only seven, but we have you all now.” Whenever i see pictures of their debut fanmeets/concerts vs now its just crazy. imagine singing as an entire being during concerts when they start “OOOOH OH OHH” im so immensely proud of the feats they’ve reached and im excited on what they do next! <3

Outro: Ego. The way how he started it with the fitness gram pacer test just like in previous albums, ugh what a throwback! this song is such a Hobi track, its fun, dance-inducing and its just so FEEL GOOD. the way how he switches flows and is capable of doing so is *chef’s kiss* the way how he speaks about the path he takes is difficult but he doesnt regret it...SOBS also the mv??? UGH SO CUTE. the flashbacks too;; i cry

ON (feat. Sia). With this track, there’s not much extra I can say, all my opinions still stand with the original track wit ot7. I jokingly told my friend that if Sia is gonna be on the track “hey nanana’ing” the same why Halsey was only “oh my my my’ing” i will ctfu. and...welp, that was what happened. I do love Sia tho so props to her!

Overall: I initially thought that MOTS: 7 was going to be a dark, ballad-filled album but it was anything but. It had so much fun songs, the lyrics are again, so deep and meaningful--it pulls at your heartstrings. It felt so raw, personal, emotional, and i love it in all its being. The boys will continue to amaze me no matter what they put out and i forever and endlessly will support and love them the same way they do for us. MOTS: 7 is a masterpiece and im in love

#trish speaks #map of the soul #7 #seven #mots #mots 7 #map of the soul 7 #bts #i do this as a tradition at this point from...maybe WINGS album #so idc if its just me rambling and being mf cringey i just needed a place to rant about good music and cool ppl lol #yall can ignore this dis just a thing for me to let out my emotions lmao #anyway imma go back to drawing haikyuu pretty setters

[creepypastashavecomittedtaxfraud]

Hi!! if requests are still open, id love to see jane, jack and toby w a s/o whos kinda an eldritch terror. Like, mostly human looking, but w some uncanny valley thing, probably w a “true form” or w/e thats got a bunch of teeth and eyes and arms n all that good stuff. Bonus points if s/o eats ppl :)

oh helll yeahhhh i dig this request u got it!! janes section is for x girl or nb reader since she’s a canon lesbian though oki ^_^ jack and toby r gender neutral though like my other scenarios and hc pieces 

Also sorry this kinda turned more into like a meeting/reaction to that turns into being s/o’s post i hope u still like it!!

jane:

Definitely not the first time she’s seen someone like you down here so it doesn’t phase her, its not like she’s totally human looking either haha, 

 she does take a certain interest in you right away though. but she tries not to stare cuz thats rude (she’ll definitely try to start a convo with you though!! She’s drawn to anyone she thinks looks as cool as her) but despite her efforts to keep it cool you probably notice right away how much attention she gives to you, the non-invasive but genuine questions

 when you first show off your true form, she is...Very impressed to say the least hehehe, expresses her admiration while maintaining her cool collected demeanor but on the inside her interest only grows, and the pre-existing soft spot for you only gets that much softer. (won her over with the cool eldrich horror stuff)

 Thinks you’re just lovely, in ‘normal’ or true form, privately cant help but be a tiny bit curious about the details of your appearance !! You might catch her staring at your big teeth or getting lost in those multiple eyes sometimes💕💕💕, and if you invite her in for a closer look she’ll take it! Finds you so very endearing, a real testament to the wonders and joys of living in the underworld :’)

 She’s usually the strong stoic-y one in relationships, but something about your uncanny horrifying appearance just tugs at her heart, scoop her up in your multiple arms and give her a hug and a kiss and she’ll go so soft just for you 💕💕💕💕💕

 Doesn’t mind the people eating thing, finds it kind of funny how years ago it made her so uncomfortable but now it’s just whatever. Whatever makes you happy!

 even if you’re a powerful eldritch horror she wants to be so strong for you and impress you,  and talks semi-jokingly about protecting you, no matter how powerful you are you’re still her sweetheart  💕 💕💕And she thinks you two are quite cool and good together, true form or not! The uncanny vaguely not-human look suits the both of you well,

 She’s very sweet with you , and treats you very tenderly despite your terror being status, gently runs her hand over your cheek, frequently peppers your cute monster-y self with kisses,

Jack:

oh FINALLY . SOMEONE WHO’S FREAKY LIKE HE IS!!!!!!!

 immediately very drawn to you, whether you’re a ‘demon’ as well technically speaking or not, finds a lot of solidarity with you. From the weird and uncanny appearance to the people eating thing

  Is a little reserved at first just by nature but definitely wants to get to know you...and once you two start talking for real, he’s smitten💘. sorry if its corny but it feels like he’s got someone who like...understands him. since moving here he’s been around mostly humans, and it can feel weird or isolating sometimes is all....

 Will try to win you over by sharing food, he hopes you like organs too!! And if you prefer something else, he’ll go out of his way to start collecting that just for you while he’s out

 When it’s just the two of you hanging out you can probably just chill in your true form. He doesn’t really have one himself but he feels more comfortable with the inhuman parts of himself around you. His demonic distorted tint to his voice slips in a bit more, he straightens his posture out more to his full 6′ 9′’ height, laughs a little louder letting his rows of freaky demon teeth show up better, keeps his mask off around you, little things like that. Doesn’t feel like he has to worry about scaring anyone or having to be more human-y to fit in when he’s with you

 probably one of those close couples who are around each other all the time, finish each others sentences, whats-with-their-weird-mental-link situations. “It’s an inhuman monster thing u wouldnt understand”

 You’re still by far more inhuman than him in your true form, you seem really powerful and are just...so cool ... 💕💕💕he realllyyy likes you

Toby:

The first time he sees you he’s mostly just, curious. Wants to know “what your deal is” to put it in a way. Not in a mean way, but he’s still super human, so more inhuman seeming people just make him feel curious yknow!

  If you pay attention you’ll probably catch him staring at you from around corners or from other rooms. Maybe you’ll think its annoying, maybe you’ll think its funny, depends

  You two should talk ! He’s nice of course, doesn’t even ask any rude questions! At first. But eventually he finally just asks out right “So...Are you like a uhhhh human?”. Now would be a great time to unveil your true form!

 “WOAH!!!!!!!”

probably drops his drink, and stares at you wide eyed not out of fear but it’s surprising!.... and fucking COOL. and kind of....hot

  Asks nicely if he can see your teeth up close a lot. not only are they awesome looking but its kind of just an excuse to get all up close to your face...Which only feeds into his new crush on you haha

  Thinks you must be really strong with all those arms of yours...Asks to be picked up, which whether you actually can or not is up to you

  His crush is so obvious no lie. Very flirty and always asking you to show off your cool true form and whatever powers you might have, and always has such a blush on his face too. Might as well just kiss the poor guy already!! He might faint though and you’ll have to catch him in those many arms of yours

 youre very very cute together, its a sweet dynamic💕cute human guy who’s all affectionate and very pda and sweet paired with you: a very strange and uncanny not-human who has that distinct horror-y creature aura even in your human-y form . But he loves you so much, you’re his perfect horror inhuman cutie 💕💕💕

 oh and about the people eating thing- not a problem. wouldn’t be his first time around someone who does that. often jokes about letting u eat one of his limbs if you got hungry since he cant feel it anyway LOL

#long post #AUGH I WENT WAY TOO INTO THIS IM SORRY FOR THE LONG READ #I JUST REALLY ENJOYED THIS PROMPT #HOPE YOU LIKE!! #jane the killer x reader #eyeless jack x reader #ticci toby x reader #creepypasta x reader #Anonymous

[malecstele]

do you write au's? if yes, could you please write debut-sf-author!magnus and big-fan!alec? before finishing his book magnus wrote inspirational tumblr posts&essays so thats where alec knew (and fell a lil bit in love with) magnus so now he goes to magnus' book launching event where magnus is supposed to sign and spread put some first copies but alec is clumsy af so when he gets there he runs into a bigass book stack and THAT surely gets magnus' attention magnus kinda softly screams to him 1/?

WHO ARE YOU then with a sigh he begins, i'm-- but alec cuts him off by going on a giant monologue beginning with "magnus bane" (as he thought magnus would continue) then describing everything he knows abt his life, ex-jobs and whatever else he knows. then after a long breath he barely whispers "i'm alec lightwood. um, sorry i mean alexander. but you can call me alec if you want. but you didnt come here for that; you probably want me out of here dont you" 2/6

then magnus says "i was gonna say im impressed at just how clumsy one can be" but alec "it doesnt usually happens, i swear! but i was so nervous abt meeting you that i made a disaster..." to all the other ppl who were there and kinda heard everythung they said, magnus "im sorry everyone but it looks like we're short about 50 copies, id say" he shoots a lil glare at alec but then he sees how miserable he feels while picking up books with bent covers and missing pages and his face softens 3/6

he doesnt give alec a definite answer abt staying or leaving immediately so while alecs picking up books magnus silently goes back to talking about the book and signing whatever books are left, ending the event much faster everyone but magnus and alec leave, so magnus helps alec at least put the books back even if he's internally crying at the mess "so, alexander, huh, you said?" magnus's trying to cheer them both up even tho alec feels like shit and magnus wants to kinda cry 4/6 

they kinda begin talking while cleaning up the mess and magnus asks him abt alec's life "since you already know TOO much about mine" (to which they both laugh  a little) alec starts talking abt himself and he kinda forgets that hes talking to his idol  and begins seeing magnus as an actual human, so his nervousness is gone, which makes him quite charming to magnus after they finish magnus offers to take alec back home in his car but alec assures him he has a bike (he cares abt the world OK) 5/6      

magnus observes hes never actually ridden a bike so maybe alec is actually something else than he first seemed so before alec can go and "get out of your head" (which is funny since his thoughts were kinda all abt this guy right here in front of him who seems to be like more than he shows to people) magnus tells him " i know this might seem a little inappropiate but im only at the beginning of my career so it probably doesnt matter that much... 6/6 

First of all, thank you so much for waiting. Life has been pretty hecftic lately and I’m so sorry it took me so long to answer this. I hope you like it! 

Alec could hardly contain his excitement. He was finally going to meet Magnus Bane. The Magnus Bane! Alec could tell by the amount of people in line that not a lot of people knew just how great Magnus was. The line was a decent length, but Magnus deserved so much more. He was releasing his debut novel today and Alec was thrilled when he found out that Magnus was going to be doing a book signing at the local bookstore. 

He had discovered Magnus on Tumblr years ago, when he was first starting out as a blog. He would post these wonderful essays about loving yourself despite what society wanted you to think and how everyone should be proud of their sexuality. At the time, that was what Alec really needed. Only Izzy and Jace knew that he was gay and Magnus’s posts gave him the courage to come out to his parents. He knew that Magnus would never really know who he is, he just needed Magnus to know how much he has impacted his life. 

That was one of the reasons why Alec was there. He wanted to thank him in person, also, Alec just adored his writing and had a little crush on his work. 

Alec looked ahead, there were about five people ahead of him. It wouldn’t be too long before he would be able to meet Magnus. 

Soon, he was next. The lady in front of him was just finishing up. He felt his heart flutter with excitement. The lady thanked Magnus and turned right into Alec. To get out of the way, Alec dodged her, failing to notice the stack of books right next to the table. His stomach dropped when he heard them all fall onto the floor. Mortified, Alec looked at Magnus, who stared back with his eyebrow raised. 

“I’m--,” Magnus began.

“Magnus Bane,” Alec cut him off. He then scolded himself for interrupting him. “I’m sorry. I just really wanted to meet you. I started following you on Tumblr years ago when you were first started out and...well your blog meant, means a lot to me. We were a lot alike, from where we lived to the kind of people we surround ourselves with, our hobbies. When you made that post about being proud of being bi, it got me thinking. I wanted to be proud of who I was and to embrace it like you did. So I came out to my parents and my life has been so much better since. When I heard that you were doing your book signing here, I just really wanted to meet you, to thank you.”

Magnus stared at him with a blank expression on his face. 

Alec sighed and said a lot quieter, “I’m Alexander Lightwood, but you can call me Alec. But you probably don’t care, especially after,” he gestured to the books on the floor. “I should leave, you probably want me out of here, don’t you?”

“Actually,” Magnus said. “I was going to say how impressed I was with how clumsy a single person can be.”

“I swear that doesn’t normally happen! I just was trying to get out of the way and wasn’t really paying a lot of attention because I was so excited to meet you!” Alec looked at the scattered books and started to pick them up. He just felt so bad, some now had bent corners and pages and dents in the covers. 

“I’m sorry, everyone, but we now appear to be fifty copies short.” Alec caught Magnus’s stern look. It softened when he saw Alec trying to fix them. Alec gave him a small smile and continued to pick them up because Magnus didn’t tell him to stop or to leave. He felt so guilty for ruining the man’s day.

Magnus sat back at his table and resumed to sign the remaining books. Alec couldn’t help but overhear him talk to the people. He was so kind and genuinely seemed happy to talk to them. He was truly amazing. Too bad he ruined everything. He watched as some people had to leave because there were no more books, although they were promised new signed copies in the mail. By the time Alec was picking up the last book, Magnus squatted next to him.

“So, it’s Alexander, right?” He picked up a mangled sleeve. “Since you already seem to know about my life, why don’t you tell me about yours?”

Alec couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “It’s not that interesting, I’m working on my masters.” 

“In what?”

“Business” 

“Why that?”

“I don’t know, a part of me thinks that with that degree I would be able to help people.”

“That’s why I wanted to write, I wanted people to know that they’re not alone in this world and that there are people like them out there. I hope you know that it really did a lot to me when you told me how my writing has changed your life.”

Alec smiled at him, “Yeah, well, I wish it could have gone smoother.”

“Well, it made a rather dull day quite exciting. I hope you know that I’m not upset with you or anything. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Thanks, I was worried that you’d hate me,” Alec straightened himself up.

“I don’t think I could.”

Alec’s heart fluttered a little in his chest. 

“Honestly I should probably be thanking you for ending it sooner, my day started with me spilling my coffee all over my expensive rug that I just bought. All day I have been thinking about how much I want to just drink tea and watch something on Netflix.”

“That’s me on most days,” Alec replied.

Magnus laughed, “That’s the good life.”

It was weird, it’s not like Alec thought that Magnus was some superior being. However, he never really thought about his life outside of his writing. To hear him talk about his bad day made Alec think more as Magnus the person rather than Magnus his idol.

They walked out of the shop together. “Where’s your car?” Magnus asked.

“I don’t drive.”

“Oh, well, I can drive you home.” 

“No, it’s okay, I have a bike.”

There’s a look in Magnus’s eyes that Alec couldn’t decipher. It was almost a fond look. “I know this might seem a little inappropriate but im only at the beginning of my career so it probably doesn't matter that much but would you like to go out some time?”

#malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #shadowhunters #malec fic #requests #asks #headcanon #malec fanfic

[flying-elliska]

Can't sleep bc of period cramps yikes (I feel like they've gotten worse since I started meds ? Not fun) so I'm thinking abt my labels again. (Several posts bc long.)

- Bi thing. I love it, and I feel like I am growing into it more and more. I wanna connect to my community more. Bi-specific spaces are so elusive, but whenever I managed to find them they brought me such joy. It's such an affirming thing sometimes to take this label I grew up thinking was not a real label or just a thing for vapid attention starved celebrities, and make it into something I'm proud of, and learn about the depth of the history there. I want to think more about what a bisexual sensibility entails for me, too. Like this connection to potential (omg so many hot ppl syndrome) ; the ability it has given me to look beyond how I was taught I should interact w each gender ; the freedom it has given me in realizing that I could be happy w men but I didn't need them in my life necessarily ; the realization that my patterns of attraction were much wider and stranger and fluid than I thought and this was a good thing ; the sense of peace and reconciliation it has brought between my feminine/masculine sides ; just this abiding sense of wonder and fertility and fluidity and awe for people in general that connects so well to who I am as a person ? And again I am in no way saying that those things are bi-exclusive. It's just for me they are very much rooted in this experience. I don't know why specifically but this feeling that I have the ability to be attracted to men and women and even beyond that, it makes me feel...strong. grounded. mature. Knowing this about myself is also knowing that this is a permanent thing. It's not going to change depending on who my partner is ; I am not going to stop talking about it ; I am not going to change who I am depending on who I am with. And at the same time I like knowing that I will negotiate the dynamics in my next relationship depending on who this person is, not on their gender. Like being bi is not something that people can assume when they see you w a s/o (unless you are actively w two of different gender at the same time w is pretty rare probably lmao) and so it can feel so...fleeting as an identity. But it's not because it doesn't depend on other ppl's perception. It's this delightful feeling of potential bubbling under my skin ; it's a history of people who touched my life ; and a part of myself I treasure very deeply. It's this feeling of layers, of being my own person, of connection to my past and future - a refusal of the centrality of classical linear life stories - birth school work marriage baby house death - this sense that you don't know what's coming. And that some connections can be so important even tho they're not "happy ever after" - that you don't have to define yourself in terms of who you "end up with" (such a creepy term when you thing about it. I want to begin w someone, not end lol) I connect it to my sense of compassion ; to my restless brain ; to my capacity of finding beauty in odd places and my curiosity. It's awesome.

- I do also somewhat ID as pan ? Idk this is a more recent thing. I've had ppl tell me I was pan in the past bc I do very much experience attraction regardless of gender (but it annoyed me bc I don't like ppl labelling me lol). If bi feels like a crossroads (in the sense of, you're here and there is more, there are paths around you) pan feels more like a dome, encompassing. I like the fact that calling yourself pan pretty much introduces a conversation about non-binary genders. There's something relaxing about it too like -, they haven't invented a gender I can't like yet ! Fuck what is gender anyway ! I tend to ID as bi generally bc I have more of a history w it and for simplicity. But I feel a kinship w this one, too.

- I hate that the discourse about this is so toxic so often because I would love to see spaces for bi/pan people to discuss the finer aspects of their identification because I feel a lot of it has to do w personal history and sensibility and it's very poetic. And fascinating. It's like, what dreams are hiding in there, what particular patterns of longing ? And to me those two labels broadly overlap so we should be able to nurture community together but at the same time the existence of a difference that matters to ppl is v interesting. Anyway I feel like trying to police ppl's labels too strictly is just so sterile. And boring. When you dig into it, it's brain wiring and dream matter and memories and cultural patterns and sensory stimuli and love and longing overlapping all fuzzy and complex and non-linear. I'm interested in labels for what they can do. Bring people together, evoke a feeling, express pride, bring questions to the light, make visible, provide ground for exploration. It shouldn't be an excuse to put yr brain in a jar and label it all neat and clean and leave it there.

#bisexuality #pansexuality #bi pride #bi awareness week #lgbt #about me