#if that wasn't clear feel free to send me another ask or a message

[ghuleh-recs]

hi! i'm a new Ghost fan and i would love to get some fic recs since i don't know where to start. 😊 i'm pretty much open to anything but something with lots of feelings (hurt/comfort), Papa IV x someone, and around 15,000 words would be great. thank you in advance 🧡

hellooo! welcome to our little satanic corner of tumblr!! i'm so sorry this took me so long—i had a tough time finding fics that matched your criteria. i hope it's okay that i focused on "feelings" more so than hurt/comfort specifically. definitely give these writers a follow if you haven't already. (i also wasn't sure what you meant by "x someone" so i threw in a mix of x reader, x ghoul, and x oc.) feel free to dm me or send another ask if i didn't get it right this time! i can also point you towards a bunch of fantastic writers ♡

recs under the cut!

x ghouls

paper armor - @ratballet - copia x dewdrop

“Horns,” Aether says quickly, like the words in his mouth are searing him. “It’s his horns.” He spares a glance at Dewdrop’s door, like he’s afraid he might be pressed up against it, listening. “He’s shedding them." Dewdrop is shedding his horns. Copia tries to help.

Steadfast Love, Not Sacrifice - @st-danger - copia x aether x dewdrop

It’s a bit like a shark smelling blood, he thinks as they follow close behind. It's natural they were going to want to taste it, too. “Well,” Copia says, “some of us need our beauty sleep.” He hesitates, and then proceeds to look nervously between the two of them and continue, “I meant me, of course. You two are already very, erm. I should go to bed.” It’s such a flimsy excuse. The elevator reaches the third floor before any of them speak again. Aether clears his throat. “You don’t want to though.” Copia looks very called out, but can’t do much more than stare, before realizing the two ghouls beside him are waiting for an actual answer of some kind. The elevator beeps as it passes the fourth floor. “No,” Copia says slowly, and Aether’s stomach does a little swoop. “I don’t.” Or, Sometimes the reward is worth the risk. *No Man Taketh From is another favorite of mine with Papa IV and Aether.

x reader

A Message From the Bulletin Board - @writingjourney - copia x reader

The ministry’s bulletin board, ordinarily used for missing items or party announcements, contains a particularly interesting request this week – a lonely hearts ad. Or: You and Copia are secretly crushing on each other. You both have to reach maximum desperation before you make a move. * if you're in it for the long haul PLEASE read I Knew Nothing But Shadows THE hurt/comfort fic of all time. you won't regret it.

Confessional - @da-rulah - copia x reader

As a sister of sin, it was your duty to confess at least once a month, to have your sins praised by a higher up member of the clergy. But you only ever chose Thursday nights, when you knew he was on duty. And tonight, you were working up the courage to confess your darkest sin - the dreams you had been having… *check out Rituale Septem while you're at it. lotsss of feelings but with Papa III, instead.

x OC

sweeter red - @anamelessfool - copia x oc

Your kiss so sweet, your sweat so sour…sometimes I’m thinking that I love you... but I know it’s only lust. Copia is a scrungly little nerd and this totally happened to him. There's something about Cardinal Marian. Maybe it's the way she infuriates him with her laissez-faire attitude, or ingnites his soul with envy of her free spirit. Rage and love, at a certain point they merge together into an overwhelming burning in the heart and mind: passion.

you found the ache in my argument (series) - @the-lisechen - copia x oc

In which two reasonable people from different religious disciplines have a conversation. (A study in faith, hope, and love.)

𖤐 you know the drill--bookmark, read, leave kudos and/or comments!

#my fic recs #papa emeritus iv #cardinal copia #papa iv x aether x dew #papa iv x dew #papa iv x reader #papa iv x oc #papa emeritus iv fanfiction #the band ghost fanfiction #the band ghost fanfic #the band ghost fic #the band ghost fic rec #fic rec!! #ghost band fanfiction #ghost band fanfic #ghost fanfiction #ghost fanfic #ghost fic #spicy tag

[zooooble]

Hello.

I'm Zooble, incase it wasn't clear enough. I'll just be posting here occasionally, that's it. Not able to be on here as often as some can since I actually have to deal with the "adventures" Caine gives us.

I can't be bothered to take another picture, work with this.

Ask me stuff if you want, strangers of Tumblr.

-

[ The guide - ]

Tags -

zoobleresponds - ask answer

zooblereblogging - reblog

[ the mod is speaking ] - mod post

Asks -

CLOSED

Requests -

CLOSED

Other blogs -

Kinger - [ @kingofthefortress ][ HIATUS ]

[oc]Skitter - [ @skitteringupyourwalls ]

Main - [ ? ]

Guidelines -

Any inappropriate asks will be ignored completely and the asker will be blocked.

Please only ask questions to Zooble unless it is specified that others can be asked to for a post.

Do not interact with this blog if you are homophobic, transphobic, etc etc, all the basic dni criteria.

This blog is just for fun!! Please don't come after me if I am "mischaracterizing" or something like that, I have some headcanons yes but overall I'm simply here to have fun. Starting drama over silly things is NOT that.

Questions about ships are fine, though will largely be ignored as I have none personally and don't intend to draw any.

Extra -

I love interacting with others, especially ask blogs, feel free to @ me or send me an ask/message if you want!

Anything I write in posts is dictated by [ this ] in italics and will usually be at the bottom of the post.

Feel free to ask me questions aswell, as I love to ramble about headcanons(please do make sure it's clear you're referring to me and not Zooble though.)

You may refer to me(the mod) as Rat via they/them.

[ Guideline end ]

#the amazing digital circus #tadc #tadc zooble #zooble tadc #intro post #info post #[ the mod is speaking ] #ask blog

[sully-s]

Seeing your art on my dash literally nakes my month oh my god so beautiful and stylish!!!

Idk if you've discussed this, but how do you find such cohesive and vibrant color palettes for big pieces?

Oh wow got to ask the hard questions huh. Lol I don't think I've talking about this. Becuase it's hard to articulate. A lot of what I do in art is just trial and error. I don't have a set formula or pretext color palettes for each mood or setting (tho I really should would save me a lot of time)

I mainly mess around with a ton of color layers in Photoshop on various blending modes at various opacity levels add in adjustment layers (mostly Selective Color) and play around with the values of the file and I let my artist intuition lead me to the atmosphere I'm trying to portray.

Here's a snapshot of just how many I used to get to the base color scheme for my Mueasume picture. ( and I used more later on in the piece.)

But I know that doesn't help you so here are some tips.

Know your mood and your setting for your piece (Time, Weather, Indoor Outdoor, Sad, Happy, Angry, etc.)

Learn the color language for each mood and setting Pintrest is great for this. Make some boards.

If your colors are not cohesive and you working digitally make a new layer Fill that layer with whatever color is the main mood of your piece (red for anger blue for sad etc.) and set that layer to like 50% opacity and then just go down the list of your layer options until you find something you like.

You can repeat this step with other layers and become the basket case like me and also have 20+ layers in your file lol.

You could add a color fill layer set it to Hue, flatten the image, then cut that whole image revert back to before you made the color fill layer paste your monochrome picture on top of your original piece, and then play with the monochrome layer on different layer settings and opacity

And if you have the option to use Selective Color do it and play with the sliders. The ability to tone down a hue in each value is a game changer.

You can also use Hue and Saturation tho you need a light hand if you're going to play with this setting.

I hope some of this help and I'm sorry if it wasn't clear feel free to send me another ask or message me through the chat feature and I can try to clarify.

#Q&A #my process #Shop talk

[kiwiana-writes]

Hi MJ, it truly makes my day when I happen to open the Tumblr app, and you’re playing the AU fun facts ask game. The folks sending you ideas are brilliant, and in equal measure, so are your responses. It’s all just so much fun, thanks for bringing that energy to my Tumblr dashboard! 💕

If it’s not too late to participate in the game, I had an AU idea come to me early this morning—

Medical/Arthur Lives AU - perhaps a universe where Alex is somehow involved in Arthur’s treatment/recovery, trying very hard (yet failing lol) not to be distracted by his patient's annoyingly handsome son. 👀

This is such a lovely, lovely thing to say, my friend, thank you. I genuinely wasn't expecting people to get quite so into this one but I've had a BLAST churning through these for the last day and a half, so your beautiful message seems like the perfect one to end on.

ONE: Alex spent three years working in hospice before he burnt out—not because of all the death. It was hard, of course, getting attached to patients and then losing them, but making their final weeks more comfortable was a privilege Alex didn't take lightly. What he burned out on was the way some families would spend those last precious few days sniping and dragging up old hurts and yelling at each other over their loved one's literal deathbed.

TWO: Naively, he thought cancer recovery would mean no more bad feelings—that people would be relieved about their second chance and would face their recovery plan with the optimism of reprieve. He's soon disabused of this; almost all his patients have a mix of positive and negative feelings, and some spent so long preparing themselves for their treatment to fail that it throws them off-course when it's successful.

THREE: Arthur Fox is not one of those people. He has, according to his notes, gone through a gruelling chemo/radiation regimen with the unbridled confidence of an upper-class white man who's never been denied anything he wants in his life (okay, that part might not be in his notes; Alex is annotating a little). He simply decided, no matter the prognosis, that he wasn't going to die, and so he didn't. Alex is honestly kind of obsessed with him.

FOUR: He meets Catherine early on, but doesn't get a chance to meet Arthur's children until three and a half weeks into their treatment plan, and Alex is sure he's not imagining the way Arthur spends so much more time introducing Henry to Alex than any of his other kids.

FIVE: Alex has always had a vested interest in his patients getting well and not needing him anymore, but every time he sees Henry during one of his visits to Arthur's home—chatting with him about the novel he's writing, lavishing attention on his dog—Alex has another reason to count down the days until Arthur is free and clear so that Alex can give Henry his number in a decidedly non-professional context.

[Send me a potential AU and I’ll tell you five fun facts that would happen in a story.]

#au five fun facts game #ask meme response #pragmatic-optimist #i've never written an arthur lives au only that arthur-beyond-the-grave one so this was a fun challenge!

[monstrousproductions]

Hello! Genuine question here and I don't want to be parasocial by messaging you directly. How would you feel about someone using MA as a jumping off point for a podcast of their own? Something that explores similar themes of queerness, community, and self-expression and borrowing some of your creature-centric terminology? Is that derivative? Thanks so much for your time, you've been an inspiration Mx. Owen

Hello! Thanks for asking. First of all, DMing me on this account isn't parasocial at all - if I wasn't comfortable with people sending me DMs, I'd... close DMs lol They're a handy tool to communicate through, and being parasocial is far more complicated than "sent a creator a message using one format instead of another". All is well!

Secondly, I personally prefer not to use salutations (Mx, Ms, Dr, etc) so please, feel free to call me Hero!

And now, to the meat of your question. I absolutely don't have a problem with people being inspired by MA to make their own art. Far from it! I think that's one of the coolest things about making art - that it can spark something in someone else and they go off and formulate a response or a reaction or something entirely new.

I don't see that something exploring themes of queerness, community and self-expression could possibly be mine to gatekeep. I didn't invent these concepts, and MA is far from the first piece of media to explore them! Neither is any of the language used in MA copyrighted or unique - they aren't invented words, they're just riffing on real ways we talk about marginalisation.

In a legal sense, if your work was really truly "derivative" of MA - as in, explicitly set in the same universe and playing with the canon established by MA - then yes, you'd have to acknowledge that somewhere. Have a look at how The Underwood Collection manage things - they make it very very clear that they are "an unendorsed, noncanonical derivative podcast of Rusty Quill’s The Magnus Archives".

To break that down, it's important you're clear that I haven't lent my name to your project; what you write doesn't impact the MA canon; and that your work is directly building on MA, of which you explicitly credit me as the creator. MA is also released on a non-commercial license, which means you cannot use its derivatives for commerical purposes. Having a Patreon etc to support you is fine, but the content itself must be free to access.

However, if you're using "derivative" in a more general sense - you're making your own world and just playing with the same ideas as MA - then I don't think my opinion matters much. What matters is whether you feel like you're making art that's worth making, that says something you think is worth saying. Even if someone's already said it - many things are important enough to be worth repeating!

I think there's a lot to be said for transformative art and riffing on other creators' work, and that it's a really exciting, interesting thing to put yourself explicitly in conversation with the original work. At the same time, I think making your own art is an opportunity to blend all your influences together and put something into the world that only you could possibly create. And I'm touched that people find Monstrous Agonies interesting and rich enough for them to engage with in either way!

I hope that answered your question, and if not, just shout xx

#monstrous askbox #monstrous agonies

[natashas-girl]

I still love you

pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Warnings: none

A/n: based off of irl shit

Scarlett was a whirlwind. Scarlett was a summer breeze. Scarlett was the one real thing in your life.

Saying that Scarlett wasn't a force of nature in her own would be a lie. She swept you off your feet the moment that you met her, all peppered kisses and moonlight walks. Your three months of happiness were the best three months of your life.

They didn't feel quite so happy right now. 

Two weeks. Two weeks ago, your phone had lit up with a text from Scarlett. Grinning happily and thinking, i wouldnt trade this feeling for anything, you unlocked your phone to see what she had sent you.

The joy in your chest dissolved immediately as you read the text.

We need to talk, the text said,

Okay, you replied, I'm free to talk right now. You had nothing left to do that day, and you had just finished with work.

You weren't going to lie to yourself and pretend that you weren't nervous. Your heart shook in your chest, your brain barely able to function.

Still, looking at the positive side of thing and denying your worst thoughts, you hurried to distract yourself.

You cleaned your kitchen. Beat every level of some dumb game. Wrote every word that you could remember of your high school graduation speech.

All while your phone was sitting beside you, with the volume turned all the way up, with you anxiously glancing at it.

It had been at least two hours already, right?

Ding.

Scrambling to grab your phone, you unlocked it to see. . .

Mom:

Hey honey, you coming over for dinner tonight?

Hastily typing back, not tonight, but thanks, you sighed and put your phone back down.

Okay. . . Deep breaths. . . Come on, what's the worst thing that could happen?

You hastily scribbled down the first thing that came to mind for each letter

Asking someone else out

Br-

No. You couldnt write that. You didnt even want to think that.

Sighing, you got back to distracting yourself.

Thirty minutes later, after scratching and biting all of your nail polish off, you had run out of things to distract yourself with.

Everything you did just reminded yourself of scarlett.

Your phone rang with a call- from Scarlett? 

Nope. A scammer.

You sighed and began to binge a show.

An hour and a half later, you decided that enough was enough- you needed to text scarlett. 

You were afraid to.

Terrified.

But, it could just be nothing. You could be overreacting.

Hey, are u still there? You typed.

You were about to click send when a message from her appeared. 

I'm so sorry, it read, i just cant date you anymore. It's not the right time for me to have a relationship. 

There was a whole other paragraph explaining why she couldnt be with you. Your eyes blurred  few sentences in.

A tear slipped out.

You were shocked

Shook

Stunned

When a tear slipped out, your eyes cleared just enough for you to type a short and simple okay, 

But apparently that wasn't enough for Scarlett.

Scar:

Great!

Scar:

We can still be friends though, right?

No.

You:

Yeah, i think so,

That was another lie.

#Scarlett Johansson #Scarjo #Scarlett Johansson x reader #Scarlett Johansson x reader angst #Scarjo x reader #Angst #Fanfic #Fanfiction #Marvel actors #Scarjo x reader angst #Sorry I posted this on my wattpad like a week ago lol but I forgot to post it here so it just sat in my drafts

[personasintro]

hey :)

I'm following lots of Tumblrs now but you're the reason this app's installed 🫶🏼

MH wasn't actually the first fanfiction I've ever read on wattpad but it was the last one😭 it's like now that I know about MH it feels like other fanfictions on that app will never be as good?

anyways, so after reading MH (all chapters) it's then that I decided to install Tumblr and follow you on here 'cause I've seen people saying that you're more active here, and tbh I wanted to know you better

after that I literally read ALL of your works🥹 they're SO GOOD and it's sad that they aren't getting the recognition they deserve 🥲 I can't explain how amazing your stories are and I truly can see your hard work

now that time had passed, I wanted to thank you, mainly for writing MH, because that's the reason I have this app were I made new friends and read incredible stories💜 I discovered amazing writers whom I can see are gonna turn out to be huge someday🥹 the talent is indescribable and I'm truly honoured to have known you🫶🏼

you're an expert at writing. you have many many well-written stories. you have the talent which I appreciate so much. you can make me feel every emotion through your words, and the way of you describing everything, your storylines, your plots, characters, angst, fluff, smut.. they're all perfect 💜🫶🏼

another thing I've been wanting to say.. you're doing this for FREE, you're not getting anything in return so PLEASE don't give away the things that are important to you.. your health☹️ I know. I won't be able to understand the pressure you're under right now, or you've BEEN under since MH started to blow up.. but now that I know you enough to care for you, can I ask you to not care? It's hard I know, these dumb people won't ever stop sending you messages asking for more updates. but if you think about it, who fucking cares? are these idiots more important than you? you have fans now, we all care for you💜 we all wish you nothing but the best🫶🏼 and we'll throw hands when needed💪🏼

you're one of a kind. you're sweet, kind, honest, talented, and a good friend who deserves to be happy. if these people who call themselves fans can spread negative energy just for an update, SCREW THEM. we can wait, we've waited before and it wasn't a big deal🤷🏻‍♀️ MH is AMAZING don't get me wrong but life goes on? updates will come and go just like everything else in this world. and it will someday have a last chapter what about that? what are they gonna do when reading the last one? will they ask you for another fanfiction? they won't stop🤷🏻‍♀️

think about yourself for one moment and tell me, are they worth your time? energy? health? are they worth the exhaustion you feel?

don't EVER feel guilty for any decision you make💜💜💜 you're your own person

I love you <3

Hello!! Wow, thank you! I’m glad I seem to be interesting enough that ppl want to get me better 🤭 I’m always amazed how many readers support me in so many different ways. I’m very thankful in this aspect, I’ll always cherish it!

Honestly, I don’t think I deserve this much love and support. I’ve said this many times but it’s true 😭 I don’t know what I did to deserve you guys! And just to be clear, y’all are not my fans (calling you that just seems ridiculous to me 😭 I’m sorry 🤧). You are my precious readers and I’m just an ordinary girl who’s apparently got a big imagination 🤭

You’re right! There are more important things in this world than updates 🪐 I hope I can continue to be a part of your life and free time no matter how much I update in a month or a year.

Thank you very much for all the lovely messages! I’m always pouting, ready to cry how sweet y’all are to me! It really touches my heart and I’ll be forever thankful! I’ll always remember this part of my life 💫

#💜

[chickensarentcheap]

DarkTyler (as readers called him)

WARNINGS: blood, torture,  mentions of child abduction and abuse (not graphic)

@tragiclyhip  @muchadoaboutcj @thesirenrealm @asirensrage @residentdormouse @youflickedtooharddamnit @secretaryunpaid @munstysmind @mrsmungus @themaradaniels @ninjasawakenedmystar @starryeyes2000

*****

“Mate, do you really want to test me right now? Do you really want to see if I have balls or not? Because I'm all out of patience here. I'm all out of fucks, like my wife would say. So...” he tightens his grip on McMann's hair, yanking his head to the side and then pressing the tip of the box cutter blade into the skin below his ear. Enough to break the surface; a trickle of blood appearing. “...I'm going to ask you on more time. What were you going to do to my kids?”

McMann refuses to answer.

Tyler presses down harder; feeling the blade dig into the man's neck, his free hand still gripping McMann's hair. Using enough force to draw even more blood, feeling it drip down the box cutter and onto his own fingers; hot, smooth, the smell tangy and pungent. And it only encourages him even more. Kicking his adrenaline up another notch. And he slowly drags the blade along McMann's next, prolonging the pain, until the other man is screaming in agony and attempting to get away. Kicking his bound feet, trying to break the ties around his wrist, struggling to get away.

“Okay! Okay!” McMann finally relents. “I'll tell. I'll fucking tell you.”

“Now that wasn't too bad, was it?” Tyler asks, and cleans both his fingers and the box cutter off on the front of McMann's shirt. “You live to see another day. For now. So, tell me...” he uses his forearm to clear sweat off his brow, then walks over to the cooler and grabs a bottle of water; tearing off the cap and downing half of it before returning to his chair. “...what did you tell them to do?”

“They were going to grab them. After they killed the big one and his girlfriend. They were going to hold them somewhere. Like I did with my kids. Everything was going to be the same. The duct tape, the zip ties, everything. They were going to rough them up a bit...”

“You told your people...grown men...to beat on my kids?” The fury is instant. All consuming. “Is that what you're telling me? That you told adults to put hands on them? The oldest is five. The youngest is ten months. And you told people to beat on them?”

McMann nods, tears sparkling in his eyes.

“Don't cry now, mate. Tears won't work on me. They aren't going to save you. And I know those tears aren't for my kids. You told adults...men...to beat on my kids?”

“I just told you....”

“Now we have a real problem,” Tyler leans forward in his seat, elbows on his knees. “If you'd just said you told them to grab them and hold them somewhere, I wouldn't be as mad as I am right now. I could have probably kept it together when you mentioned the duct tape and zip ties. But you actually told people to put their hands on my kids. That...well that I can't forgive....so....” he jumps to his feet, then heads back to the weapons table. “...I don't think a box cutter is going to quite cut it this time....this calls for something a little...I don't know...worse.”

He selects the crow bar, then decides against it and puts it back. Opting for the pliers instead.

“My daughter,” he says, as he walks back towards McMann. “Well I think you know what I'm going to ask you next. Did you tell them to do anything else to my daughter? Like what happened to that Erin girl? Did you tell any of them to do something like that to my little girl?”

“No. I'd never suggest something like that. I'm a lot of things, but I'd never, ever, allow that.”

“You're lucky I believe you, Michael. You know how Erin was a message? To me? Well I'm going to send a message to your people. To your wife.”

“What kind of message? What the hell are you doing with those? What...?”

“I want them to know that I have you. And that I'm going to keep sending little pieces of you until I get what I want. So...” Tyler once more stands behind the metal chair. “...we can either do this the easy way or the hard way. Which one do you want?”

“What's the easy way?”

“Easy way is you just sit there and open your mouth for me and I take out a few of your teeth. With these,” he waves the pliers in McMann's face, and the man immediately reacts; panic and terror surging through him, screams and profanities flying out of his mouth as he struggles against his bonds. “Hard way, huh?”

Tyler shrugs, then wraps an arm around McMann's throat; squeezing as hard as he can; muscles bulging, veins prominent. Stronger and bigger than the other man, easily able to hold his head still with such a powerful grip, and he shoves the pliers past the other man's teeth, until he's hitting the back molars and clamping down on one, yanking it clear out of the gum. Tightening his hold when McMann fights even harder; choking and gagging on his own blood and saliva and the gradual collapsing on his windpipe. Sweat forming on his own brow and trickling down his temples; dripping into his eyes as he removes two more teeth before gradually releasing the pressure on McMann's throat.

“You're fucking crazy,” McMann pants; his face near purple, a mixture of sweat, saliva, and blood trickling down his chin and onto his shirt. “Insane. You're fucking insane.”

“Maybe,” Tyler says, as he pockets the teeth and cleans the pliers off on the thigh of his jeans “But you fucked with the wrong man's family. And I'm going to make you pay. A little bit at a time. So get comfy. Because you're not going anywhere for a while.”

#Tyler and Esme series #tw:blood #tw:torture

[beepboop358]

Hey! How are you?I hope your well. And if you'd ask me. I'd say im not okay. Sorry now I'm gonna start talking and this is gonna be really long.

Yeah I just watched vol2 and there's a few things im feeling right now. First, of course sadness and there's this anger for 'Suffer brother". I want to ask you few question cuz i really like your analysis. So..:

I don't understand why they made this to Will. If it wasn't mutual, why did they make Will fall in love with Mike? If someone comes along and says no, he's not in love, I swear I'm going crazy. It was clear that he was in love.

And I can't go without saying. In an interview the other day, the Duffer brothers said that Mike's speech on vol2 was his best performance. Dude are you kidding us? Never in my life have I heard such an unemotional "i love you". It was very terrible. Surely Mike is a great actor and no one has the mouth to refuse to against that fact. But that scene was emotionless and deep down I want to believe they did it on purpose. I want to believe it's not just queerbaiting and they're going to make a meaningful slowburn. what are your ideas?

I don't even know what to do anymore. I waited for this day to be able to continue with my life officially, and that's how it happened. Since the day I found myself being a shipper, I've never had a 'male' gay ship canon in my life and I assure you that I had a lot of gay ships(nearly all of my lesbian/female gay ships became canon, thank God) . I'm tired of sobbing. I don't know, maybe I'm just exaggerating the ship things a bit, but as someone who defines herself as an artist, both my own fictions and the fictions of others make me feel very real and I believe that such things gain importance according to the value people give to them. I say this because even though I hate the Duffer brothers, I will continue to believe in love, and as long as I believe in love, I will believe in Byler. But I want to ask you. Do you think I should believe? Do you think there's still a chance for Byler?Is there any evidence that you can tell me that in season 5 they might be and up together?

I personally love the last scene, all my ships were side by side, Byler,Jancy,Jopper. And beside Byler the others are holding hands. And Eleven was alone. (And I thought this might be a cinematography thing?)I really adore cinematography and the slides you made were amazing. After I read them,I really had believe that there's a whole another plan under all of that.And thought that the Duffer brother have a huge plot setting and it is Byler. But now I think stranger things nothing but a another cliche show. If byler won't happen then this show has nothing. There's nothing special about it. And if Byler became canon. I would probably still don't like a lot of things in the show the brothers have made but I'm going to love the show. Because Byler is really special for me. What are your thoughts about the mistakes the brothers have made or might will make?

I'm gonna wait for your answers. Thank you so much in advance. I appreciate you for your analysis, slides, answers. Stay with health and love! ❤️

hello!

I am not doing great at the moment, I'm sorry you're not either <33 also thank you! and feel free to send me long messages anytime :)

I agree, it's 100% clear Will's in love with Mike, so why write that, if it's going to be unrequited...we don't need more of that. I'm so sick of that trope. It's low-key harmful to just portray gay people as pining over their straight friends, and it's clear that trope is only for the straight people watching, because it hurts the queer people to watch that & this is especially bad because Will is so self-less and so supportive of Mike & El in season 4 and is so reassuring to Mike that he and El will be okay, but if his feelings for Mike are unrequited that's just icky to portray Will like that, because they're just displaying him as a prop/plot device for the straight people, while he's on the sidelines miserable.

I read that interview too, and when the scene happened I was like, "this isn't it right? RIGHT?! Oh wait, oh god, this IS what they were talking about..."

I completely agree with everything you said here, this is beautifully put. Queer love is beautiful, and it does exist, regardless of what the media portrays.

I think there's still a chance we could get byler in season 5, (those ending shots were honestly the most compelling piece of evidence which is sad on its own), but I'm not confident that we will. I thought they had a plan too, I hope they still do. I think the way they handled byler in season 4, making it seem unrequited, if actually isn't, is the biggest mistake they made as far as byler goes. I think they made LOADS of other mistakes in terms of the storylines and the action this season too.

I will continue to hold out hope until the duffer brothers obliterate it (if they do) in season 5. I just updated the slides for season 4, vol. 2, with a few more pieces of evidence!!

Thanks for this message <3 I hope you're doing well! xx <33

[druid-delaluna]

What happened in that official discord

I will not be listing anyone's names. Use your context clues or whatever I don't care, just don't send hate to anyone involved. This is just me trying to sort out my feelings on the situation and get some closure.

Okay, for context, I've been in the eddsworld official server since it opened in February 2019. I was a very active member and if you remember druid/laly that was me. In 2021 I was given the chance to become a curator thanks to an old admin(Also there were barely any adults and mods had to be adults to sign their NDA)

Another fast forward to July 2022, the mod team was told a few days prior that the server would be Patreon only. We made our case for being against the change but after a meeting with Bing, he change a few mod's minds (I still held onto it being a bad idea but it wasn't really like I could change the situation). The day happened, the announcement was made, and all hell broke loose. You can imagine what happen when you tell over 11,000 fans that their server is going to Patreon only when it has been free for the past three years.

So why am I speaking about my experience? Well, I wanted to put it to rest, I wanted to go into the new year not feeling like I held my tongue on a shitty situation. What happen is this artist during the situation made a comment about how happy they were about the change. Now I'm all for opinions, speak your mind you know. But in that situation where the mods are scrambling to handle a SHIT TON of angry and upset kids, it wasn't the time nor place for that. Also, I knew that this artist would get hate, so I reach out and told them pretty much to not fucking do that. It was taken wrong, maybe my tone or message wasn't clear of my intent? But this artist is an adult, they should have known better. And I honestly was just saying it, to help them out. They later come on to say they got death threats and I'm just thinking, what did you think I was trying to do by telling you to knock it off?? I knew that shit would happen and wanted to prevented it.(now I DO NOT condone death threats, earlier I told the mods to close their dms because I knew it would happen and it did) .It's the evening and this artist seem to have gotten their friends involved?? And I notice this tone and reaction to anything I do or say and I'm not one to beat around the bush, I ask what's up, get shit in return, okay whatever. It was when troll accounts were brought in to mock only me. Mind you there are other mods doing the same thing I'm doing, but I was the only one targeted by these trolls and members. Now I would think nothing of these trolls, we get them all the time. It's the fact this artist, their friends, and then crew members join in reacting to the trolls messages mocking me, with smiley emojis or something (I have screenshots of all these situations due to the server channels all getting deleted in the Patreon change). Mind you I am trying to help in the situation, I'm trying to calm people down, and do my job and this is how I'm getting treated, like horseshit. And I wish I could say this was one time, but no, myself and other mods have been treated like absolute crap by certain crew and server members. And nobody higher up did anything and it finally click they weren't ever gonna do anything.

That's what kinda started the downward spiral of my position there. I was heading out of state on a trip so I stepped back and focus on that and the trip itself and when I came back it was the end of the world party. I made that eddbot art, which pretty much sums up my feelings. I didn't take part in the party really. The change happen, 11k drops to 150ish. Now, mods DID NOT have to pay for Patreon. That was our gift from Bing/Matt (along with a store discount, which I never got). We were allowed to stay in the server with the paying members. The new main channel was the old Patreon one, so still emotional about that troll event, I looked up my name. Yeah....Not very good messages but I didn't want to cause trouble. So I just took it on the chin..again and kept my head up. I thought you know what, maybe it just was me and with time everything will calm down.

Then the Patreon leak happen. Once again, I never had access to Patreon, because I did not have to pay to be in that server. I saw the leak on Twitter and Tumblr, and I rb to my tumblr to keep an eye on it because wow that was fast. Went to bed, next day it was the talk of the server, a member earlier was caught sending leaks to other servers and was scolded but not kicked. It was brought up again and I told them, its on tumblr as well, thinking it be helpful for them to understand the situation. Then that one artist friend chimes in with a screenshot of my tumblr with the leak, pretty much saying this you?? So of course, I can't lie, I'm honest, my bad. Then two crew members come in and I kinda realize yeah this might be it. Due to one of them disliking me due to things that happen in the past between us. (whole another story). I delete the rb and apologize. I go to another server to chat and then see, I've been kicked from the server. I admit, did not take it well. My mod friends are all confused because none of them did it, and it comes out that the crew member who dislike me, kicked me even tho they arent suppose to act as mods. (it a whole mess man). The reason I was kicked was due to they thought I was the leaker?? Once again, did not have access to the Patreon, so wasn't me.

After my moment, I realized that I would be constantly dealing with shitty people and my socials being stalked to find something to charge(??) me with.... this was the push I needed to leave that situation behind. Most of the mods left after that in support of me. Bing reached out to me a few days later apologizing on that crew member's behalf, that I wasn't in the wrong and that I was more than welcome to come back. I declined and promptly removed bing from my friend list to cut contact with him.

And that's where it ends, I've blocked eddsworld, all the crew, and those artists' socials and been doing grad school and my own thing. I believe it was just a very emotionally charged situation and that nobody was thinking clearly. After the server change, it was the majority of adults but that meant absolutely nothing in common sense or correct ways to react to situations. From what I've heard thru the grapevine the server has spiraled into very toxic environment if you arent buddy-buddy with that artist who had an issue with me and their friends so take that as you will. I just want to get my voice out there so I don't feel inside that I let myself get hurt and did nothing to defend myself?? Look I get that I'm difficult to understand or I've rash and impulsive but I honestly never acted out in malice, I did a lot of things, in defense of others or just the greater good. I've stood up to the crew a lot due to shitty situations and still, I stayed because I thought well I can make someone's day, make it a good time in the server. I didn't stay for fame or to be featured in their spotlight just to make the day-to-day good. But it was a very hard lesson to learn that I can't save it all, that server crashed and burn and I felt I wasted time of my life on something that would eventually stab me in the back in a way...But there still good memories and I made wonderful friendships. Everything gone now, but I hope the good memories are alive in others spaces. So yeah, that what happened and if you have any questions feel free to ask.

#eduw #wont being using any other tags because once again this isnt a callout or anything just myself and my feelings #druid talk

[rudegirl402]

Never a dull moment (pt 1.)

Happy Friday, my fellow degenerates! It's the weekend, time to ~~party hard~~ get blasted and not have to worry about losing your job.

This was supposed to be a 'mini' - mini for me anyway - post that I intended to put up *well* over a week ago, but with CAG coming around so frequently and spending all day here, me getting wasted almost immediately after she leaves, and something or other taking up my time, it was pushed further and further back with ever more shit heaped onto the flaming dumpster fire that is my life. Gather round, as I serve you up yet another rambling tale of misadventure and woe.

Picking up where I left off on my last post, I passed out relatively early on the Friday night, waking up with just enough time to make it down to the liquor store before closing. Some missed calls and messages from CAG on my phone. Didn't bother replying as I knew she'd already be asleep by then. I figured I'd just slam a few more drinks and hoped I passed out relatively soon. Got maybe a quarter of the way through the wine - with a little help from some mouthwash shooters - before I felt sleep finally beckon, and I shuffled off to the bedroom to hopefully get some shuteye.

Ended up waking up, though, what felt like only an hour or two later. Decided to finish off my last post and get it up before I (maybe) passed out again. But merciful oblivion never came. I hit my second wind. I think my tolerance level has reached the point where my normal, maintenance-level, drinking just isn't having the same soporific effect anymore, but paradoxically energizes me instead. My body is exhausted from a streak of sleepless nights, but Mistress Alcohol wants me to stay up and drink with her.

0700 rolls around and I'm still awake. CAG messages not long after. She's an early riser, and I normally don't see her morning messages until hours after she sends them, when I wake up. Perhaps I wasn't clear enough the day before; maybe I didn't want to come off as rude or mean, but I dropped some not-so-subtle hints I needed alone time, and I didn't want this - whatever *this* is - to be an everyday thing. I knew lack of sleep would eventually catch up with me and I was going to crash hard. Last thing I wanted was groggily waking up to her hammering at the door, or demolishing the anti-Jonesy barricade to climb through the window. I tell her straight up she can't come around that day, that I haven't gone to sleep yet, I'm fading, and I'm still drunk and don't want to trigger her with my drunkenness. Incoming call: CAG. I'm really not in the mood. She asks if she *really* can't come over, I confirm, yes, she *really* can't.

0-narcissistic temper tantrum in 60 microseconds. She moans we were supposed to be making vegan shepherd's pie together that day. I tell her we can do it the next day, that I'm really not in a fit state to entertain her. She immediately demands I gather up all the ingredients for the pie and leave them on the porch, so she can come and collect them and she'll do it herself at her halfway house. Gimme a break. She can't afford a Lyft here and back and she isn't coming *just* to get that stuff. "No, I can't do that," I not entirely fake-yawn, "I'm fading fast. Please just come around tomorrow instead." Her voice takes on a sinister tone. "Ya know, most of the pots and pans in there I bought. When I come around again I'm going to collect the things that are mine and I'm putting them into storage." Classic narcissistic carrot and stick: *do what I say or suffer the consequences*. I'm not having it though. "Ok," yawn again, "feel free to grab whatever you want *tomorrow*." She abruptly hangs up on me after demanding I call her a Lyft to get to her AA meeting.

Sleep continues to elude me and I'm left with an ongoing feeling of brain-fog. As the sun rises on a new day, I'm left with a few drinks' worth of mouthwash. I slam them in the hopes it does something, *anything*, to get me into bed and passed out. I'm just at the stage where I think I might be able to sleep, if even only for a little while when CAG chimes in again. She's back from AA and meekly apologizes for the way she spoke to me earlier, that she could have come around and wouldn't be triggered by me being drunk, but she's triggered because of what I told her the doctor said about my elevated white blood cell and liver enzyme count and still drinking. I try to reassure her that having elevated liver enzymes/white blood cells is standard for CAs but she's not having it, says she's upset her dad and I are drinking ourselves to death. I don't take the bait and tell her I'm feeling much better than I did when I went for that doctor's appointment. I can't help thinking how it's less about me (and her dad), and more about how it affects *her*. Never mind, not getting sucked into the same old games.

Still no word from Gun Girl. Last message sent from me Thursday evening/Friday morn, unread.

CAG messages again, when I thought she'd be doing...whatever...for a few hours and leaving me alone to get merry. Says she left a bag in the Lyft to her AA meeting and she desperately needs it back. Groan. Even sober she's so fucking scatterbrained. She can't call the driver or use the Lyft app because her broken phone is still only a Wi-Fi platform, so it's up to me to do the leg work for her, so to speak. I manage to contact the driver, who seemingly doesn't speak a word of English, and ask if he can drop off the bag CAG left in his car. He says he has it - via Google translate - and asks for an address. I tell CAG there's a $15 lost item fee and she points out she can't afford it. For a moment I consider paying it for her - the 'right' thing to do, no? - but I hold off while I ask her what's in the bag. Turns out it's just a couple of make up items, cheap and disposable. Awesome, just tossed away 2 hours communicating with Lyft and a driver who doesn't speak English, only to find it's not even worth $15 to get it returned. Well played, CAG. Another brilliant fucking waste of my time.

I contemplate heading to the store for more booze then. It's a Saturday, so busses are hourly. I can't be assed going to the local Walmart for 2 or 3 items and literally doing laps around the store, buying nothing else, until the return bus comes, so settle on trudging to the local gas station/liquor store for their more expensive - albeit conveniently available - wines. Not going just yet though, as it's still over 100°F and even just sitting on the shaded porch, wearing only shorts, for a cigarette, I'm dripping with sweat.

Gimpy leg has returned with furious vengeance. The last couple of weeks before CAG happened on back, I was feeling fine, good even. The pain, the limp, it had completely dissipated; I could walk normally again. But now I was back to shrieking electrical pain and shuffling with a pronounced limp. Under perfect conditions it should only take me literally 12 minutes to walk there and back, but with gimpy leg it's 20-25 minutes, and I don't fancy that trek under the burning Arizona sun, so nurse my mouthwash until it gets cooler. I wind up picking up two bottles of wine. I'm getting through one and a half to two bottles a night now. Seems like not long ago just one bottle would last me a night.

I woke up a little later than I intended on the Sunday, probably making up for the lack of sleep from the day before. As usual, bevy of messages from CAG. Still nothing from GG. Raging hangover. Good sign, I guess, in that I don't feel still drunk. CAG wants to come around again. I had assumed the ballache of getting two buses here on a weekend schedule would dissuade her from coming, but the inconvenience didn't seem to bother her. A new sensation flared up then: annoyance. I wanted to chill, I wanted to get drunk, I wanted to sponge out in front of the laptop, I wanted to get this posted, but instead I have to sit and watch tv with her for x hours of the day while WDs crept in and she rabbited on about people I didn't know and didn't care to know about. I considered telling her not to bother, that today wasn't a good day for me either, but I knew she'd have another meltdown. I wasn't in the mood for, nor was it any longer my responsibility to deal with, one of her temper tantrums so all I could do was grit my teeth and text "cool, see you in a bit."

She didn't stay very long. There seemed to be a mood in the air; she was acting different. Quiet, pensive, contemplative maybe. She suggested we watch the *Obi-Wan Kenobi* show, I suspect more to try and please me - or at least wanting to have the appearance of that - than any real desire on her part. I'd already seen it like thrice over, but I'm a Star Wars nut, so I didn't mind. Of the prequel trilogy she's only seen *The Phantom Menace* and while OWK does a fairly good job of summarizing *Attack of The Clones* and *Revenge of The Sith*, I have to pause quite frequently in the early episodes to explain some things she doesn't get. "Ugh, what's this 'Episode II', 'Episode III' stuff!? *Star Wars* was episode I, *The Empire Strikes Back* was episode II, *Return of The Jedi* was episode III, and then these stupid prequels came out and they changed the numbers for no reason! They're prequels, they shouldn't be I, II, III!" This isn't the first time we've had this discussion and I can only laugh, "CAG, the original trilogy - which you saw in the cinema when they originally came out - was already subtitled IV, V, VI *before I was even born*". Sober or drunk, she picks some weird fucking hills to die on.

We go out for a cigarette during a lull between episodes and I decide to set her straight. I tell her, as sensitively as I can, I need more time off from her, that I need to step up my job-search game because I can't afford rent & bills for the coming month. Because of CA time displacement I felt like it was still the first week of July, but it's not; I'd drunkenly pissed away almost two weeks fretting over her and GG. She doesn't get angry or upset, as I imagined she would, but nods in agreement, saying she'll just come around on Tuesday or Wednesday instead. She leaves after what feels like 2 or 3 hours, when she normally stays for 6 or 8. At least I can drink earlier.

She texts later in the night to say she got home safe, and she had fun at mine. Despite myself, I can't help but ask if she's ok, because she normally doesn't leave that early. She replied she was just tired and everything's fine, but "it's good to know you're not sick of me." Hmmm.

Monday. I really had intended to light a fire under my ass in terms of getting a job. There was only two weeks left until the next month and I thought maybe, maybe, *maybe* if the universe aligned just right and I got a decent-paying job sharpish, my first paycheck would hit before rent was due. But I put off contacting the agency who got me lined up with my last job. I've been lowkey worried that with the easing of Covid lockdowns - when they got me the job last year all communication was through webcam or phone - they would ask me to actually go into their office for a face to face chat or interview. Never mind the ballache of having to get multiple busses to their office, or the anxiety of interacting with people when I've got WDs, when I worked with them last time I had to do all these performance tests with various Microsoft Office programs, to ensure I was the "right fit for the job." Data entry proficiency I had absolutely no trouble with, as I've got a type speed and accuracy above that required for secretarial jobs, but I'm sure plenty here can relate with the fact that in all my office jobs over the years I've never had to use more than the most basic functions of Word or Excel. When I did their little tests at home last year, I just opened a new window and Googled "how to do x, y, z on Word/Excel" and passed with flying colors. I mean, if it's vital to whatever job I could get I'm sure they'd give me training on it anyway, so I didn't see the point of their daft tests, but I was worried if the agency wanted me to come in and do those tests again in-person, which I'd naturally fail.

I was stuck in something of a can't/must quandary then. I knew I needed to call the agency, with the slim hope they retained my personal details and I wouldn't have to do their stupid tests again, but I fucking hate phone calls and knew it would give me anxiety, which meant I'd have to drink just to talk on the phone. So I did what I always do and dithered instead. CAG popped up then, last fuckin' thing I need. "Hey, I think I might go to the Walmart near you. We could meet up if you want?" No, no I don't want. I thought I made it perfectly clear I need Monday 'off' from her. I gently deflect her by saying I don't plan on leaving the house because of the heat and because I need to contact the agency. "I could come around after I'm done at Walmart? I won't stay long." No! She knows from our time together I hate making phone calls and asks if I need a drink to steady my nerves. I'm wary of discussing boozing with her because I don't want to trigger her and go right back to dealing with an alcoholic psychopath, so I answer honestly: "I don't know." I'd been trying to put off drinking until later into the day, and with her coming around that meant I wasn't drinking until 6, 7, 8 at night for the most part, but here I was, early afternoon, eyeing the bottle and knowing I needed it just to make a fucking phone call. Fuck it. I caved a few hours before the agency closed. *Just a few for Dutch courage* became *this is fun* and I watched the clock steadily wind down to closing time as I slammed more drinks.

Sunset. CAG says she's going to bed early because she's tired. Cool. I'm out of sauce and throw my kicks on for a booze run. I see my big toe poking out of a hole in my shoe, I can't help but laugh. Despite CAG having done the laundry for me, I'm still not wearing socks. I guess maybe because I don't know when I'll be able to do, or afford, laundry again and I don't want to 'waste' them on something as trivial as trips to the liquor store. I make it halfway there before I absentmindedly pat my ass and realize I've left my wallet at home. FFS. I try not to sit on it when I can help it, on the off-chance it has something to do with my gimpy leg, so take it out whenever I can, but there have been a few occasions where I've been tipsy or blasted and not realized I've left the house without it.

When I finally shuffle to the liquor store I go to pick up my usual: two bottles of cab sav. Except they're out. Fuck. Their wine section (such as it is), is right next to the register, so I have to awkwardly tell a number of people doing their shopping, "you go ahead," and motion them past because they think I'm in line, while I'm examining the red wines they do have for alcohol content. It's all weak ass 8-9% shit, fuck if that's going to tide me over for the night. I settle for a couple of pinot grigios. 11%. Weaker than my 12.5% cab sav and I fucking hate the taste of white wine, but it will have to do.

Except it doesn't. Card declined. Shit. The bills must have hit already and I'm out of money. Shit, shit, shit, fuck. My drunk/lazy ass been hitting up the local liquor store far too often when Walmart is cheaper, but I haven't been functional (or mindful) enough to get the bus there and back. There's a line growing behind me and I suddenly feel *very* self-conscious as I try my card again. I've been wearing the same clothes for what feels like six weeks now, and I don't think I've showered in that time either. I must look - and smell - like a disheveled hobo, and here I am with two bottles of wine on a Monday night nervously, and desperately, swiping my card multiple times. *Eh eh eh eh*, the card reader squawks every time. The teller mumbles something about maybe it's just my card and I almost blurt out *but it worked last night*; the store only has 3 employees and the dude serving me then served me the night before. Instead I croak a nervous laugh, "uhh, think I need to go and get my other card haha," and bolt it out of the store with my tail between my legs, trying not to make eye-contact with anyone in the line behind me.

I am fuming on the ~~walk~~ shuffle back home. I'm completely and utterly broke. I still have mouthwash at home that I can drink, but I was nominally supposed to be tapering down with wine mixers, the whole "getting your life back on track" thing. I consider catching a late bus to the local Walmart to pick up some almond extract, or what have you, with my food stamps, but decide against it because I'm too fucking lazy. Fuck knows how much I even have left since I've been paying for CAG's food and drink. Weird, since she gets free food at her halfway house, vegetarian/vegan as well. Minty, antiseptic, breath and screaming shits are a small price to pay for getting wasted that night.

I get home and angrily crack open a new bottle of that sweet Equate mouthwash. I take my phone out of my pocket and place it, face-up, within my field of view, just in case GG messages and I don't want to miss that. It's been like 4 days since I've heard from her. I don't know what I've said to upset her; I thought we ended things on a good note when we last spoke, and we were headed towards full reconciliation. But how can you tell someone it makes you cry to admit you love them and if they're in danger of homelessness you have a spare room they can live in... and then just ghost them? Whatever. I don't care. I constantly feel like I'm begging for scraps of attention and affection anyway. As with 95% of my relationships I'm far more invested in them than they ar-

Tuesday. I wake up with a start. No recollection of going to bed. There's a bottle of mouthwash on the pillow next to me. My head is fucking pounding. It's that awful wire wool brain sensation of a hangover. I stagger out of the bedroom, fill up a cup of ice water and make to go out on to the porch for a breakfast cigarette. All the lights still on in the house paint a picture of me staggering straight from my computer chair to bed to pass out. My laptop is open and unlocked. I usually shut it down or at least put it on sleep mode. Messenger is open. Conversation: GG. *Fuuuuuckkkk*. My eyes focus on the last thing I sent. "Why are you doing this?" - 0328AM. I have absolutely no recollection of sending that, and I'm angry at myself for doing so. *We were trying to be brave and stoic, and you fucking cave like this?* Message unread, as are the previous ones I sent her, the last time we spoke. She'd normally be up now so she should have read my drunken mishap. Instead, silence. Again.

CAG messages, says she's on the way to mine and will be there in a couple of hours. I groan in frustration; her visits are coming earlier and earlier. I'm feeling far too ropey to deal with her. Maybe if I'd had more time to sober up and feel better I might have had more patience for her, but I knew I couldn't ask her to delay coming over or postpone it for the next day because she'd have another narcissistic meltdown. The way I felt then, I contemplated going for some hair of the dog. I'd considered it before, when she came to visit, but I put it off both because I was legit trying to push drinking as far back into the day as I could, and because she would instantly know I'd had some booze. But temptation gets the better of me and an hour or so before she comes I fold and start chugging the mouthwash. Even if she can smell it on my breath she can't say with complete certainty I wasn't using it for its intended purpose.

She arrives just as I shut off the oven, from cooking the vegan shepherd's pie. She'd insisted I cook it when she's not there because using the oven raises the ambient temperature of the apartment, and with only a couple of box fans for climate control we're usually sheened in sweat from just quietly watching tv. I can't help but think of how much a kick she gets out of the control factor though. I try to put GG, and drunk-messaging her the night before, from my mind and have a pretend-fun day with CAG. The pie turned out pretty good. It's only vegan because she is and I prefer the real deal, but I give myself a pat on the back for the quality of the finished product. It's the first meal I've made for CAG since she's been back that she's completely scoffed. Normally she always leaves bits and pieces which is a strange concept for me, having been raised in a "clean your plate" household.

I wind up staying up late, like stupid late, into the AM glugging the mouthwash. I can't sleep, for some reason, probably because of the tolerance again. I'm having my seventh or eighth "I'll go to bed after this" cigarette when something weird happens. A pair of lights flash on the wall across the street, from what looks like someone in the adjacent AirBnB unlocking their car. It's like 4 in the morning, what are you doing up at this time? I rarely see the guests who stay in the AirBnB and my interaction with them is limited to the odd smile, wave, or "hi". But the current occupants seem a little sketch. On more than a few occasions probably a dozen or so different vehicles came and went from the unit all day. "It's probably drugs," CAG had scoffed. I initially dismissed it as more of her conspiracy thinking, but that morning I considered she might have had a point. I'm not really paying attention to whatever the AirBnB guest is doing until, out of the side of my eye, I see two girls titter out onto the driveway. They're barefoot and the driveway is graveled. One of them - and I can't tell because of her dark skin tone and the sun not having quite risen - seems to be wearing only a bra. Just. A. Bra. The other appears to be in some fancy-looking lingerie with rather fuck-me fishnet stockings. They must be bloody prostitutes as I can't imagine anyone else sauntering around their home so scantily clad, especially since I thought the AirBnB guests were a dad and his to 'daughters'. They open the doors on a car in the driveway and appear to be taking things into the house from it. I know it's early hours but the property isn't walled and they're right on the street; anyone driving past is getting an eye-full of T & A. I exaggeratedly clear my throat, both because I'm choking on phlegm and I figure they could do with a warning the whole world isn't asleep. They both glance up from whatever they're doing in the car before getting back to it, seemingly without any concern of how exposed they are.

Wednesday, CAG returns to form when she says she wants to clean the bathroom. The whole rationale for her being here was supposed to be that she wanted to clean the apartment, to help me, before the annual inspection happened. After a week of doing so she seemed to lose interest in the idea though and I figured she got bored with her cover. She does a good of job of scrubbing the place out while I rustle us up some vegan chicken burgers. Should have taken a picture for scale, but these things are ridiculously oversized, like bigger than our hands. If there's one good thing about her coming around, it's that I'm eating somewhat regularly again, I guess. When I walk her to the bus stop later, so we can go food shopping and then she can go home, she expresses the sudden concern she's going to shit herself. I can't help but laugh and tell her while it might be an occupational hazard for CAs I'm surprised she's still got a leaky bum after having been sober for so long. "I never had a problem with diarrhea because of drinking," she tuts, as if I said something ridiculous. "That was because of food poisoning or I took too many laxatives." For fucks sake. I've written before about how terrible she is at acknowledging the realities of being a CA and here we had a shining example. I'm not in the mood to 'debate' her though and just nod an "mmmhmm".

When we get to the store she immediately rushes for the bathroom while I go around picking out things she asked me to buy, to take home or enjoy when she comes around mine. I head to the booze aisle and contemplate picking up a bottle of $2.50 wine with the spare change I have in my pocket. CAG finds me there, looking hagard from her power shit. To my surprise, she offers to give me the last of her remaining cash to buy more than one, and some more mouthwash. I half expect her to ask if we can go back to mine and drink together, but she looks away instead and says, "one isn't going to do you, and I don't want you going through withdrawals if you won't go to the hospital." Huh. I almost miss my bus home because she has the runs twice again while we're there, but we both make it to our own busses and back home in good time.

As I get deeper into the wine, GG's silence starts to gnaw at me. I can't think of any reason why she'd be deliberately ignoring me like this. We've gone a day or two without talking, maybe, but we've been pretty regular in our level of communication. I look at the message I sent her a couple of days earlier, when I drunk-messaged her, still unread. I try not to get angry but I can't help but feel like she's playing games. She's 9 years older than me, I would have expected her to be more mature. If she doesn't want to talk anymore she could have said so; if she's with someone else she could have said so. Would it really have cost her anything to say, "let's just be frien-"

Thursday. I awake, again, with no recollection of having put myself to bed. Looks like I demolished a bottle and a half of wine and more than a few glugs of mouthwash. I gingerly check Messenger to see if I messaged GG again, like the last time I blacked out. Thankfully, that's a no. Then a thought occurs to me. I remember her telling me, for some reason, there were times when I would message her and she could see what I said via notifications, without the message having a 'read' tag to it on my end. I check my text messages. I sent her one last night. Balls. "Are you ok? What's going on?" It's not bad in the grand scheme of drunk-texts but fuck I gotta stop doing that shit. No response from her. Surprise surprise.

I have a couple of quick wine mixers, to get rid of the hangover, before CAG comes around and we have a fairly uneventful day. I tell her about watching a video on Bhutanese cuisine the night before, neither of us really know much about the country but I randomly drop that from what I remember smoking is largely banned there. "Well we can cross that off the list of places we're going to visit." I don't say anything. *We*. At various times since she's been back she's made noises about wanting to leave the country and heavily implied I'd be going with her. She has her eyes set on Panama, and has been saying things like "you should look into it," but never has a retort when I tell her I don't really have the desire - or funds - to leave the country *alone*.

Saturday. Once more bolt up in bed from a blackout. I barely remember Friday. CAG was here, I felt annoyed at her being a drag on my time, we spent all day watching tv, I cracked open the mouthwash and then...nothing. CAG messages to announce her imminent arrival. Then my phone buzzes again. I expect it to be some demand I do something for her, maybe meet her at Walmart. But my heart jumps as I see *1 new message: GG*. I hesitantly open it up and see I'd drunkenly angry-messaged her the night before. Oh. Fuck. The last couple of times I had some vague sense of familiarity on reading the words I wrote the night before, but this time I'm struck dumb. I have absolutely zero memory of messaging her. Worse - a million times worse - while I'd tried to maintain a civil, neutral, tone in my prior messages I went fucking ballistic with this one. I asked her why she was being so cruel and sadistic, I asked her why she couldn't just say she didn't want to talk to me anymore or just be friends; I asked her why, if she was with someone else, she couldn't have just said so.

She says she's been silent because she didn't have phone or Internet service, that she's so broke she got cut off. A million thoughts run through my mind. I don't even have time to process a response as she immediately goes on the attack, telling me she's not with anyone else, and that I 'obviously' must love and care for her if I'm coming at her so. That "things" have happened to her since we last spoke that she doesn't want to get into, but I'm making it all about me because I wasn't concerned something might be going on with her. She calls me a "controlling, manipulative, self-righteous, narcissist." I might be a deadbeat CA, but I try to own my flaws, and this isn't the first time she's thrown this scripted shit at me, which really sounds like it's aimed at her ex-husband or some other guy she dated before or after. We get into a heated back and forth then. I'm taken aback by the ferocity of her attacks on me when I'd only expressed hurt and sorrow in my last message. I'm not a fucking mind-reader, so for her to get bent out of shape over me not intuiting her phone/Internet service (allegedly) being out or sussing out the other 'stuff' that happened to her makes me want to fight back. What was I supposed to fucking do, take a $100 Lyft I can't afford out to her place on the off-chance a plane had crashed into her house or something? I'd (semi-)joked about her explosive anger before and I'm getting a prime example of it now. She could have just said "hey, sorry, my Internet/phone got cut off! I'm not and haven't been with anyone else, dumbass," and things would have gone back to being good and normal. But instead she starts throwing out all these off-the-mark insults and accusations about how I made this all about me, and I don't care what's going on in her life. I'm instantly put in mind of the spat we had after the funeral she went to, how she dialed up the notch on righteous indignation and vindictiveness when I was constantly offering to bury the hatchet with her.

I am seething. Fuck, the timing is cosmically infuriating. I can't get sucked into an all-day battle with GG as CAG is due imminently and she'll flip if I'm spending time constantly on the phone. Grrr. I step out on to the porch for a breakfast cigarette. There's a large tree limb in the yard. I vaguely recall a storm from the night before. I don't know if it was a lightning strike or gale-force winds, but one of the larger branches from the tree in the front yard has been ripped off and is lying there on the ground. CAG comes through the gate and steps around it as I finish rolling my cigarette. She offers a tired "hey" as I light up. I'm already not in the mood and would rather be talking to GG. Restless leg all day as I drop some not-so-subtle hints CAG should go home sooner rather than later. I swallow my pride and message GG she could have told me her services were about to be cut off - if that's even really the issue - and maybe I could have helped her. Left on (un)read for the day.

Sunday I wake up to the sound of knocking at my door. I don't need to check the porch camera to know who it is. I can only groan "you gotta be fucking kidding me!?" before I roll out of bed and shuffle to the door. CAG's sat at the porch table, smoking a cigarette. "You weren't responding to my messages so I thought I'd just come over before it got too hot." She's a terrible communicator, in more ways than one, but I especially hate, then, how she never waits for confirmation through textual conversations. I'm the kind of mate who'll give you constant real-time updates if we're meeting up; "just getting in the shower now," "setting off in a bit," "10 minutes away," etc. because I'd expect someone to do the same for me. CAG will text "can we meet up at 12?" and if she doesn't hear anything back she'll just be there anyway.

I know most of my crankiness is centered around GG from the day before, and I try not to misdirect myself into taking it out on CAG, but I can't help feeling irritated she's woken me up. Going to bed later and later and poor-quality CA sleep is really kicking the shit out of me. Another wasted day of sponging out in front of the tv with her, watching stuff I've either seen before or I'm not interested in. I'm constantly checking my phone for word from GG but nothing. I tell CAG, with a little more of a growl than I'd intended, she is not to just show up again like that uninvited, that she should get confirmation from me in future so our plans line up. I get a message from her after she gets back to her halfway house later, saying she feels hurt that I open myself up to "Internet strangers" (as in, you lot) but I was a "closed book" with her. Never mind the fact she has no one but herself to blame for ignoring, talking over, and disregarding me during the years we were together, one of the hallmarks of pathological narcissism is to isolate the victim; I know she's jealous of the fact I have friends from/on here and she knows I won't use my laptop while she's here nor do I really use my phone either. I've lowkey suspected one of her motives for coming here all the time - when I seemingly have nothing to offer, even attention - is to prevent me from writing. Lol I remember back in 2020 when I could have Reddit up on my laptop and be writing about us while she was in the same room, oblivious and uninterested. Perhaps I should never have mentioned what I write about and how frequently. Hindsight is 20/20 etc. etc.

[shiroi---kumo]

question! I read your rules and I want to respect them but I’m nervous bc I’m confused about some of it? I try not to romanticize but I cope with my writing too. is there a list of tags you have blocked? should l warn you when I rp something with someone else that’ll have a bad topic? apologies beforehand!

Hello Anon,

thank you for sending me a message. Let me see if I can clear anything up for you. Please feel free to talk to me privately about what you're confused about. You can always send me a Direct Message and I would be happy to discuss things with you one on one.

If that is uncomfortable, Anon is fine. I'll try to explain what is confusing.

I have a list of tags I have blocked through tumblr savior but I also listed it in my rules at the very bottom ->

There are things on my "Please discuss with me" list that I, myself, write. I just am very careful to make sure that everything is tagged.

What I meant by drabbles will be tagged at the top and bottom is:

This appears BEFORE one of my drabbles and there is a cut to place the drabble under a read more:

and this was tagged at the bottom of the drabble in tumblr's tagging system:

I basically function on the rule that if it could be triggering to someone, I tag for it the best I can and I also leave the "// ask to tag" tag on my posts if I'm unsure if I missed something. I don't know what people have gone through and/or what is upsetting to them so I try to tag for everything I can remember from my partner's rules and the general basics that should be tagged anyway. I.E - gore, violence, gaslighting, abuse, genocide, war, death, etc

There is no need to warn me ahead of time about posts that could contain something triggering, if everything is tagged correctly.

because my tumblr savior will block things for me at the mention of the word and it will do this:

the word snake shows up in the post - not a picture of them. Just referring to another character as one but I still have to physically click a button in order to see it and at that point - it is my own choice to look at it. Then that's on me.

My rules are just asking that we tag for generally triggering things and if we are unsure - we ask each other. I have asked many times if my muse could do something in a post to make sure it wouldn't be upsetting or if my muse could "get really vulgar" (not kumo, a different muse) when he was cussing in anger just to make sure it wouldn't crossing a line with my partner.

I have written gore on this blog and I have written intense injury.

I have also started my post in a thread like so:

Just so anyone reading it (because I do have a few people who read my work but do not RP (and that's super cool to me)) wasn't taken off guard when shit started to get really nasty. That post was also tagged with

I write some really nasty shit on this blog. I'm not even going to set here and tell you I don't. I write war, abuse, torture, gaslighting, manipulation, death, murder, etc

I write really nasty things, but I don't condone them and I've made it very clear several times with several long posts that I don't. The characters that do bad shit in my narrative 9 times out of 10 will get punished by the narrative in some way shape or form eventually and that includes Kumo.

There is a difference between writing something to cope to try to work through it and break it down and understand it better and process it through different eyes / a situation / your muse and setting there and saying it's okay.

It would be like me setting here and excusing the fact that Kumo has killed and Kumo has murdered and Kumo has lied. The why or how behind why he did it doesn't matter. All that matters is he has killed and he needs to try to make up for that the best he can. He needs to better himself. He needs to grow. He needs to show remorse. He needs to better himself all around.

And I understand that some muses don't get better. But when we write it off as "they're just an asshole." or "they're just a bastard" that makes me uncomfortable because I don't set well with "they are how they are." If I can have an in-depth conversation with you the mun about things I can be generally okay. I've written villains. I've written villains who thought they were justified as fuck before.

They weren't. They absolutely weren't. Thought they were but they weren't.

So the only thing I can tell you is talk things out with me a little more so we can see if doing so will make you more comfortable - anon or private - either is fine.

Just send your muse to me and we'll write a little and if you feel uncomfortable it's okay to stop. If I feel uncomfortable it's okay to stop. It's okay to talk about it too. It's okay to ask questions. It's okay to check things if you're unsure. It's okay to check things for clarity's sake.

(I.E. "Can I assume that your muse is holding my muse like - " )

The best advice I can say is to just come talk to me. I will try to work it out with you the best I possibly can.

#ask || mun speaks #anon || voices on the wind #tw; long post

[fremmedsprak]

ok random but anywAY I was wondering if a lot of people in Montréal speak french and how they react when non natives speak french to them? because I may be going in a year or two!! Idk if you're from Montreal but I'm dying to know

hey! :)

i don’t live in montreal and i’ve only been there like less than 10 times in my life so i’m not 100% sure.. but i think at least 50% speak french as their native language (actually hoping it’s more than that) and maybe like a total of 60-70% speak a certain level of french? maybe? but like 8/10 times i went there people spoke french to me at first (6/8 they sounded like native french speakers, 2/8 like english speakers speaking french) so i’m pretty sure the majority speaks french (the other 2/10 times i was in english neighbourhoods so i understand why they spoke english to me at first but it still made me a bit annoyed (hope that doesn’t make me sound like an asshole))

but to answer your question: if you end up speaking french to a french speaker, they’ll probably be happy, BUT they will hear your accent and there’s like a 90% chance they’ll switch to english. but if you keep speaking french, they’ll switch back to french and i’m pretty sure they’ll be glad you’re trying to speak their language (i know i would be)! but then again montreal is a pretty bilingual city so i really don’t know how people perceive other people trying to speak french (i mean i’m from a smaller but quite big city where 95% of the population speaks french and i get really happy when non-natives speak french to me and kind of meeh when english speakers ONLY speak english to me, for example without saying “bonjour” or asking if i speak english (because yes not everyone speaks english and anyone that tells you otherwise is lying to you big time)).

lastly (sorry my answer got long :////) if you end up speaking french to an english speaker i have absolutely no idea how they’ll react.. i’m guessing if it’s someone working in retail or in restaurants they’ll either a) switch to french because they’re probably used to switching between french and english, b) keep speaking english because they’ll hear your accent, or c) keep speaking english because they don’t speak french (which has happened to me in the past)

hope that was an okay answer!

#if that wasn't clear feel free to send me another ask or a message #but then again i don't go too often to montreal and so i don't know that much about it #gayforlangs #answered

[paradox-liveheadcanons]

Hello could you write relationship headcanons for Shogo please Thank you so much😊

Shogo Yamato Relationship Headcanons

Confession -

Despite practicing and working with his members very often, he somehow, always finds a way to interact with you.

Without fail, he brings the both of you two packs of gummies, sometimes having different flavors at hand in case you didn’t like the lobster flavored gummy he brought.

The two of you would talk about his worries as a leader, the new gummy flavor or the new song he’s working on.

Always separate bags, you two parted ways whenever his members called, the private rendezvous you shared ending.

Without fail, he promises to text you about the next meet up, sending a pink gummy sticker.

Never really touching on his feelings, Shogo would continue his job, mindlessly smiling at the thought of you.

There was a little confusion he had with his members, them thinking he was already dating you while he confessed he wasn't.

After some probing from them, he decided to maybe try confessing to you. He always liked you and would occasionally think about dating you (he admitted it when Kantaro asked)

Despite him acting normal in front of you, his heart was beating fast.

Every time you brush your hand against his, the tip of his ears turn red, much more aware of your presence now more than ever.

"Um..." He said all of a sudden, startling you.

"I really... really like you. Please go out with me."

He hung his head to hide his growing blush, the tips of his red ears peeking out from his head of hair.

He had a pack of your favorite flavored gummies handed to you. His confession felt quite a bit like a high school confession behind school. 

Taking the gummy, you accepted his response with a smile. His face lighting up the moment you took the gummy.

On the day he confessed, the sweetness of the gummy in the bag you shared paralleled the warm glow you felt in your chest.

Beginning -

As Shogo became more involved with Paradox Live, it became harder and harder for the both of you to meet up.

However, he’s still mailing you gummy candy. Sometimes they’re peach flavored or yogurt flavored. Sometimes he sends you the odd ones as well… (the weirdest one was probably the curry flavored gummy)

A small letter in neat handwriting, taped on top of the pack of gummies contains words to either cheer you up or how he likes you as much as he likes gummies.

Shogo would be an awkward lover and wouldn’t really know the formalities, but from Toma’s love advice, he gets better as time goes on.

Getting to Know More About One Another -

You always knew he was from a popular family, the connection between the last name of the popular actor on tv with his was a bit familiar.

It became more clear when channels started mentioning him as the actor's son whenever the mention of Paradox Live came up.

Seeing Shogo's reaction to being affiliated with his father came as a shock to you.

He's one to hide his emotions (outside from his members) as the leader of VISTY and always maintained an admirable character.

Despite this, he does tell you about his past with his father, being open and honest with his feelings because he trusted you.

As time goes on, you both get hurt but your trust and affection for one another never wavered.

Saying “I Love You” -

Despite his busy schedule, he's never too busy to not send you a text message.

He's open with his feelings and never hesitates to tell you how much he likes you, the messages he writes on the gummy bags he sends you frequently having a heart in it.

One day during his free time, he sends you a message wanting to see you and that he has something important to tell you.

The day you met was at your usual spot, a quiet place in a park where the trees hid the both of you.

Talking about your futures, he looks into your eyes and brushes the strands of hair away from your face.

He caresses your cheek as a smile forms on his face.

"I love you."

The words were quiet but honest. You could feel that there wasn't a trace of hesitation.

Quiet, loving exchanges continued to be shared as you both spent the time hidden behind the trees together.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

First post for the new groups! I had to do the amazing VISTY leader Yamacchi first (´ ∀ ` *)

Again, not much is posted about the new groups so far but as we continue getting more content, I'll continue to do my best!

I hope you enjoyed~~~ - 🐝

#Paradox Live #ParaLive #Paradox Live Headcanons #VISTY #Yamato Shogo #ParaLive Headcanons

[kenzies-love-stories]

Lover of Mine (Quil Ateara V x Reader )

A/n: I'm not crying, you're crying. Here is another story based on a song that I felt I had to write 😅 I hope you find enjoyment in this piece. I headcanon that Quil is very in touch with feeling his emotions and that got heightened when he phased. The bold italics are song lyrics from the song Lover of Mine by 5 seconds of Summer. In this Quil doesn't imprint on Claire and that is all I am saying. if you are curious then feel free to read! ~🖤Kenzie🖤

Date posted: Oct 28, 2021

Type: Angst to fluff (you may cry a bit), Happy ending

Word count: 2,201

No pov

The hardest thing Quil has ever done was walk away from her. when he phased Sam made him cut everyone off for their own protection. He regrets what he had to do daily. Ever since that day, he's been feeling like he is missing a part of himself. She was his first love and he was hers, they had a special connection that one could call true love. The question is not if they can overcome the hardships and make it to the end, it is when.

Quil's pov

"Quil it is for the greater good." Sam sternly tells me as he hands me my phone.

"I know but she is just going to be crushed and I am going to be crushed by this," I say with tears in my eyes and a heavy heart.

"It's alright Quil, we all had to do it. We will be there with you to pick up all the pieces of your broken heart." Jared states sympathetically.

The tears flow out of my eyes as I ask, "Yeah, well who is going to be there to pick up the pieces of her broken heart. We have been together for three years Sam I was going to propose and I am about to throw all of that away. She is going to hate me for what I am about to do." I look up at all of my pack brothers and see them look at me very sympathetically.

I open up the messaging app on my phone, I click on the name that reads 'my sweetheart' I breathe out a shaky sob, covering my mouth with the back of my hand to silence it. I take deep breathes through my nose to help myself calm down. I start typing out my message, 'I'm sorry I can't do this anymore, It wasn't anything you did or didn't do. I just can't be with you anymore.' I hit send and toss my phone onto Emily's kitchen table before putting my head in my hands trying to cover my sobs.

I feel a comforting hand rubbing my shoulders, I look up and see the sad face of Emily. She opens her arms as she sits next to me, I allow myself to fall into her embrace crying into her shoulder. "It hurts so much Em. I love her and I just broke her."

"I know sweety, I am so sorry that you weren't left with any other options and had to do this. I wish there was another way to go about this." She gently runs a hand through my hair calming me down.

When I finally stop crying my eyes are red and swollen. I pull myself from Emily's embrace and in a small voice I say, "Thank you, Emily, I think I am going to head home to process this." I slowly get up from the table and walk towards the front door.

"Quil it is pouring down rain are you sure you don't want a ride home."

"No thank you, Emily, I need to clear my head but thank you for the offer," I state numbly before walking out of the front door.

Once I am outside again I burst into tears as the heavy rain falls on my face. I start to slowly walk towards my house which is about 2 miles from Emily's. By the time I get home, I am tired from crying and soaking wet from the rain. I walk into my house when my grandfather walks up to me. "y/n called for you, Quil I want you to know you did the right thing."

"Yeah well, it sure doesn't feel like it." I snap before going upstairs to my room. I regret it when I walk into my room because I am surrounded by pictures of y/n and I, throughout our relationship. I lay on my bed and put my face into the pillow that still has the scent of her shampoo lingering on the fabric. This brings on a whole new wave of tears and I finally fall asleep.

Y/n pov

Heartbreak is one of the worst feelings that I have been no stranger to. However, nothing could have prepared me for the feeling like my heart was being ripped out of my chest only to be stomped on; to think this was all caused by some boy...well not just any boy. The person whom I thought was the love of my life, that we were in it for the long haul, left me.

I just wished I knew the reasoning, was I too much, too little, was there someone else? tears from in my eyes at even the slightest possibility. I thought Quil loved me as much as I loved him but now I am not so sure.

It has been about two months since Quil broke up with me over text and today I am finally plucking up the courage to go and give him back his stuff. We were together for three years and it is just all a constant reminder of what I once had. Quil's grandpa won't tell me how he is doing with all this...I just wish he is happier because even though he broke me I don't want him to be sad.

A few tears slip out of my eyes as I pack up his hoodies and shirts that I had 'borrowed...they still smell like him. I another tote I put all of our pictures that were hanging up on my wall, as well as all the little nicknacks that he had bought for me. I put the tote in the back of my closet so I can forget about it. I look around my room and see how truly bare the walls now are, Quil was a bigger part of my life than I first thought.

I pick up the box and walk it out to my car, when I come back in I am stopped by my mother's voice. "Y/n/n what are you up to today?" she asks.

"Um, I am finally am okay enough to go and drop Quil's stuff off at his Grandparent's house," I say nervously rubbing the back of my neck.

I see her nod sadly, she adored Quil just as much as I did, "If you need anything please call me." she states pulling me into a comforting hug.

"Of course mom," I respond before leaving my house to drive a familiar route to Quil's grandparents.

When I pull up into the driveway my heart shatters all over again. I see Quil with Jake and Embry. I start to put my car in reverse but I see Jacob stand behind my car and Embry sadly walks over to the window leaving Quil looking pensive on the porch.

I roll down my window and look Embry in the eyes, "Embry."

"I'm so sorry y/n-" he starts but I cut him off.

"Don't please, don't I am just here to drop off some of Quil's things that I had at my place."

"Y/n/n he's a mess, seeing you would be good for him."

"What about me Embry I am also a mess, I never felt this heartbroken, not even when you and Jake stopped being my friends, do you know what it is like to go through heartbreak alone. News flash Embry it fucking sucks." I say turning off my car and unbuckling my seatbelt.

Embry opens my door for me and I slowly get out of my car. I was just about to turn and close my door when Embry stops me by pulling me into one of his famous best friend hugs, that I didn't know I needed. This brings on a wave of emotions and I cry into Embry's arms.

After a few minutes, I pull myself together and pull away from Embry wiping my eyes. I close my car door and go to the back door to pull out a box. "I will give you two some time," Embry says walking away with Jake. I look at the ground taking a deep breath before walking to the porch, I can't bring myself to look at Quil so I settle for looking at his shoes in front of me.

"Uh, you left some of your things at my house, I thought I finally bring them by." I put the box on the porch floor and turn to walk away.

I am stopped by Quil's warm hand gently grabbing my arm, "wait y/n/n please look at me." he pleads voice cracking.

I feel my eyes well up again, I close them before turning my body towards his, "What?" I ask as my gaze shifts into his own.

I see him freeze for a second before smiling at me sadly, "I have a lot of explaining to do. Would you let me?" He asks still holding on to my arm.

"you have fifteen minutes before I walk away and I just want to know why," I state sitting down on one of the bench chairs.

He sits down next to me, "Sam Uley made me break up with you for your own protection. I didn't choose to break up with you I was ordered to because I wasn't stable enough yet. I want you to know that what I did that day was the hardest thing I have ever had to do."

"What are you talking about Quil?"

"The legends are true, I am a werewolf; I wasn't allowed to say anything or see anyone until I had control over my shifting. I am sorry for what I did to you if I could ever make it right I will do whatever it takes for you to not hate me."

"Quil, you hurt really bad but I could never hate you, I love you far too much. I wouldn't mind giving us another shot, but we would be starting from scratch and no more secrets about anything." I state grabbing his hand in my own.

"I promise no more secrets. Hi my name is Quil Ateara."

"It's lovely to meet you Quil, I am Y/n."

No Pov

Slowly, over the course of several months, Quil and Y/n work on picking up the pieces of each other broken hearts and mending them with the love they have for one another. Bit by bit the trust builds back up and left in its wake is a strong foundation for a beautiful relationship that should have never ended in the first place.

Quil's Pov

Y/n and I just got back to our shared place after dinner with Sam and Emily. I see y/n/n walk over to our fireplace where our stereo is placed and soon music fills our small home. With a smile, I walk over to my imprint and gently grab her hand to twirl her towards me.

I smile down at her when her hands land on my chest to steady herself, "I got you beautiful, you won't fall."

"My hero!" I hear her infectious giggle and I can't help but smile wider.

"Always." I reply bringing one of her hands from my chest to my mouth to press a gentle kiss to it gently rocking us back and forth to the soft music, "I love you."

"I love you too Quil," she responds.

This moment just feels so right that I can't hold off any longer, "I was going to do this before I phased into a werewolf but Sam really put a damper on my plans."

"what do-" She starts to speak but I cut her off by placing a soft kiss on her lips, "Let me finish, beautiful." I see her nod.

"I want you to know that I'll never give you away because I already made that mistake once. When I take a look at my life and all of my 'crimes' you are the only thing I think I got right. Y/n Y/m/n Y/l/n will you marry me?" I finish my small speech on one knee with my Grandma's Opal engagement ring in between my fingers.

I see her cover her mouth to hide her gasp with tears in her eyes before I hear her beautiful voice respond, " Yes! yes, I will marry you Quil!"

With excitement in my bones, I get off the ground and press a passionate kiss to my now fiances lips. When I pull away I slip the opal ring onto her ring finger, "It was my grandma's, my grandpa took me to go get it resized for you. I'm glad it fits."

"Quil it's gorgeous, how did you know what ring size to get?" she asks admiring the ring.

"I remembered from when I bought you that promise ring, I am glad that it was still your ring size." I laugh a bit in embarrassment.

"You know we have to tell my mom right?" Y/n asks with her face in my neck.

"She already knows, I asked for her blessing. We will worry about telling the world later but for now, let's just enjoy this moment.

#quil ateara imagine #quil ateara imagines #twilight imagine #twilight imagines #twilight x reader #wolf pack drabble #wolf pack imagines #wolf pack imagine #quil ateara x reader #quil ateara v imagine #quil ateara v imagines

[untiltheendoftime]

Summary: Staring at a stranger leaves you with an empty plate of fries and a heart filled with the slightest bit of love.

gif by @stevenrogered

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: A normal amount of swearing, other than that it's pure fluff.

Writers note: This is for @celestialbarnes "4k writing challenge"

Reblogs, likes and your thoughts are so much appreciated. Feel free to point out any errors.

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Can I steal your fries?

You had found yourself in a small diner, after another terrible date, with a large portion of fries in front you. Perhaps alcohol would've been more helpful to forget the whole day, but sadly your work schedule didn't allow you to get drunk and risk a hangover.

As soon as you sat down, you deleted the dating app off your phone, earning an amused look from the stranger in the booth in front of you when you had muttered something along the lines of "Fuck this shit." and "Might as well start referring to myself as a trash can if trash is all I attract."

You could feel the warmth of a blush rising on your cheeks when you heard the stranger chuckle and you were sure that you looked exactly like the ketchup on your fries. Why did you have to blush so easily? Fuck.

Unfortunately he was quite handsome, which didn't help your ketchup-face problem at all. His hair was rather short, though it looked like he was growing it out, and he gave off cozy vibes with the navy blue hoodie he was wearing and the steaming cup of coffee in his hands. He was far more than quite handsome. It was then that you noticed that his eyes, unfairly blue like the sky on a perfect summer day, were focused on you.

He fully caught you staring at him. Damn it.

In order to hide your embarrassment, you quickly adverted your eyes to the plate in front of you. Suddenly the fries were very interesting.

The sound of footsteps appeared and just when you had thought that you creepingly staring made the stranger leave, a muscular body came in sight and you were starting to feel anxious.

Thinking that apologizing was the best way to get over with this as soon as possible, you tried to come up with an excuse "Look, I'm sorry for staring. I jus-" you started bubbling, but he quickly interrupted you.

"Wouldn't have caught you staring at me if I wasn't staring as well, would I?" he said, his voice surprisingly sweet and when you had gathered up enough courage to look up at him, you were welcomed with a breathtaking smile.

Without any hesitation, he sat down in front of you and the anxious feeling quickly washed away, being replaced with irritation instead. Sure, he didn't look bad, but he was a stranger after all.

You eyed him suspiciously and he did the same, obviously mocking you. "I don't want to sound rude but I believe your coffee wants your attention more than me" you said, actually not really bothering to sound polite.

"Does sound rude to me, doll."

He probably used the nickname a lot, however it didn't stop you from feeling flattered. Not wanting to acknowledge it, and turning red again, you decided to keep your mouth shut.

The silence was starting to feel uncomfortable and from the way his brows slightly furrowed with thought, you could tell that he didn't want the conversation to end so soon.

"You're not here for the first time and I actually wanted to talk to you for a while." he admitted, "Even tried to get your attention, but all you did was stare into your phone and yeah" a faint blush crept up on his cheeks.

It took you a solid minute to process his words. Yes, you were a frequent customer, most of the times visiting after another date went downhill and sometimes you would google dating advice and gag at all the bullshit everyone wrote. You didn't exactly hate being single, though having someone to come home to wasn't the worst thought you could think of. The more dates went wrong, the more you and your family, especially them, began to wonder what was wrong with you.

"Always love a stranger watching me" you joked and instantly grimace at how badly you had worded it. That's not what you meant.

His laughter filled your ears and it was full of warmth and so contagious, you had to laugh as well.

After the laughter had died down, he cleared his throat and extendended his right hand to you "I'm Bucky" he softly said and while shaking it, the contact sending slight shivers down your spine, you tell him your name.

"Now that we know each others names, can I steal some of your fries?" Bucky asked, not waiting for an answer as he reached for your plate.

"No" you chuckled out, playfully swatting his hand away, and he glared at you for a second before dramatically putting the hand on his chest, claiming that you've really hurt his feelings and it might take decades to mend the pain in his heart.

The conversation between the two of you flowed nicely. He told you about his visits to different countries and you would ask questions about how the people were and if the food tasted good, the latter truthfully answered with a "I usually went for cheeseburgers due to the lack of time."

You had told Bucky how much you despise going on dates now because your family would pressure you, saying that the problem has to be you since your ex shortly found a significant other after the break up.

Bucky's jaw tightened at that and he voiced out how fucking rude your family was, wondering if they don't have anything else to do than rubbing their noses in your love life. Seeing that he has was way more understanding than your own family, empathy had always been something all of them undoubtedly lacked off, made you even more fond of the handsome stranger and you felt comfortable sharing personal pieces of your life with him as hours passed by.

Midway through your story you paused to look at your plate, realizing that it was almost empty now and the only reason why he didn't stop your rambling was because it allowed him to eat your fries.

"Stop taking my fries." you muttered out, causing him to grin.

"What are you gonna do about it?" he questioned, voice heavenly charming as he suggestively wiggled his eyebrows at you.

Perhaps this was the most cliché thing to do, but the look he gave you when you threw a few fries at his face was something you wish you would've gotten a picture of. His eyes were still slightly widened in shock when he, not so attractively, shoved all of the fries in his mouth, making you laugh at his childish behavior.

"I got to eat the fries. Seems like I won, sweetheart." he proudly declared.

Banters and stories later, your eyes caught a glimpse of the clock on your phone and you frown when it reads two a.m

You jolted up from your seat, calling out an apology to the old waitress who seemed to be startled by the sudden change of energy. "I do enjoy talking to you, but my shift starts in six hours." you said, your voice laced with a hint of sadness.

Bucky stood up as well and reached for your phone that was still lying on the table. He handed it you, signaling for you to unlock it, and when he had access to it, he quickly typed in his number and pressed the saving button. A cheekish smile on his lips when he puts it in your grasp again and you can't help but beam at him, too.

He held his hands up in defense, "Figured you need my number after you have deleted all the datings apps."

You rolled your eyes in response and, who knows where the confidence boost came from, step closer to him. "Goodnight" you murmured, pressing a light kiss to his cheek and they instantly heat up, which made him look adorable. Maybe you had found someone who blushes just as easily as you.

Once you had entered the front door of your apartment, your phone gave off a noise, signaling that you had received a message. A quick glance at the screen told you that it was Bucky asking if you came home alright. He definitely is a gentleman. Just when you were about to answer him, another text popped up. You had to bite the inside of your cheek to stop you from grinning like a lovestruck teenager while reading it.

Bucky:

When will you take me out?

Sincerely, your trash

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First story on here. Hopefully it's not that bad? I would absolutely love to hear some feedback. Thank you for reading everything ♡

#soft!bucky barnes #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes one shot #sebastian stan x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x reader #sebastian stan x y/n #bucky barnes fic #soft!bucky #soft!bucky x reader #bucky barnes x gender neutral reader #sebastian stan x you #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes #sebastian stan #tfatws #bucky barnes imagine #sebastian stan imagine #steve rogers x reader #sebastian x y/n #sebastian x you #winter solider x reader #the falcon and the winter soldier #winter soldier x you #marvel #celestialbarnes’s 4k writing challenge