#if you don’t know he posted on his ig the hate he’s been getting and that they shouldn’t be sending anything to his friends or family

[hella1975]

forever wishing sam fender would unrelease dead boys

#it’s like the moment I get a glimmer of hope for my hometown it reminds me of how awful it is #I feel like I’m screaming underwater at people like there’s something actually insidious about that town #and I’ve BEEN saying it and it keeps getting written off as youthful angst #bc of COURSE you hate your hometown! everyone hates their hometown! #but now I’m going to another funeral for a boy in my year and it’s another suicide and I don’t even know him #i havent seen him since primary school I have no right to be so upset by this #but I’m just trawling his ig bc he looks the same #he looks the exact same and he hung himself. he was twenty #and ofc he’s connected to my family bc everyone is in that fucking town hes like a v distant cousin #so we know the news first like so many of his friends are out having a nice night rn #and I’m here with this knowledge despite not knowing him. like tomorrow someone is going to find out their best mate killed himself #the police are literally still at his house and my mum is telling me she loves me because it’s ALWAYS the boys in my year group #like off the top of my head alone bc i KNOW it’s more ive already lost six boys in my year and I’m 20 #how many kids have to die before my hometown stops being such a shithole #sorry for the vent post i dont even know why this has gutted me so much #maybe bc the only memory i have of this boy is between the ages of 5-11 so I literally ONLY know him as a child #like he was so happy I can only remember him smiling and just. what went so wrong after that? he had spiky hair and gap teeth #and now I’ve been told that he hung himself and I just #god. i don’t even know anymore #I’ll never forgive that town #hella goes home

[fvnalgirlcomplex]

PRETTY ISN’T PRETTY ✸ J. HUGHES

and it begins!! this is irl but also mostly social media au because my tumblr is/was acting up and deleted most of what i had written and.. i’m lazy so!!! reader is referred to as ‘you’ and their looks are talked about but i tried to avoid describing looks… however… reader doesn’t have blonde hair but listen like every nhl fic uses a blonde girl for the fc so. i think its justified!! but sorry to anyone blonde reading lol. i didn’t rlly know how to end this tbh but i hope it’s still good and i hope u like it!! remember that you are beautiful! any negative things said obviously aren’t true :)

warnings: light mention/implication of an eating disorder, insecurities, hate comments, reader gets picked up (lowkey manhandled a little bit), suggestive comments (2), unedited writing

masterlist, series masterlist

fc: olivia rodrigo ( oliviarodrigo on ig )

summary: dating jack wasn’t gonna be easy, you knew that. you just thought him traveling a lot was gonna be the hardest, not being picked apart by his fans.

bought a bunch of makeup,

tryna cover up my face

i started to skip lunch,

stopped eatin’ cake on birthdays

youruser

liked by lhughes and 56,890 others

youruser 22!! shout out to cole caulfield

view 182 comments…

colecaulfield thank you for the shout out. I really needed it.

youruser anything for a fan

user19 she’s so cocky omg

yourfriend the cake was so good! you should’ve had some :(

youruser the cake wasn’t very big and i don’t really like cake that much anyways lol glad you liked it though!!

jackhughes ❤️

liked by youruser

user373 at least she chose a blurry pic so we don’t have to see her face lmaoo

jackhughes

liked by trevorzegras and 120,293 others

jackhughes birthday girl 🎂

view 367 comments…

_quinnhughes haps

youruser damn. not even a full sentence 😔

user14 even his brother doesn’t like her lmao 💀

user298 i hope she knows she’s public enemy #1

user63 bro could do sm better

trevorzegras big! 22! 2️⃣2️⃣

user86 the way she looks at him though 🥹

user7 no..

user329 why are you so miserable

user738 he did her so dirty with the second picture 😭 makeup can only do so much but somehow she looks even worse than i imagined with no makeup

“I didn’t know it was such a big deal—”

“It shouldn’t have to be a big deal, Jack! I asked you not to post it, I don’t understand why you don’t listen!”

Maybe you were overreacting. Maybe you were taking your insecurities out on Jack when it really wasn’t his fault. But, it’s hard to stay calm when you’ve started to hate what you see everytime you look in the mirror, or someone takes a picture of you and that’s when you have makeup on. Words couldn’t describe how gross you feel without makeup on.

“I think you look gorgeous. I don’t know what the issue is.” Jack responded, too nonchalantly for your liking.

“The issue is that I don’t think I look gorgeous so I don’t want it out in the world for all your fans to see.” Jack sighed at your response. He knew what this was about but to him, you the prettiest girl he’d ever seen. He just couldn’t grasp how someone like you could be insecure.

“Y/n…” He said softly, grabbing the sides of your face. The mood in the room had quickly changed from tense to sad as soon as the word fans was mentioned. “You’re stunning. I know you don’t believe me but, you really are. All those comments are from a bunch of teenage girls who are jealous. I know it’s hard to block out but you just have to try ‘cause I wanna show everyone how pretty my girl is, okay?” Jack finished, trying to cheer you up. It didn’t really work to be honest but still, through glass eyes, you looked up at him and nodded before he brought you into a comforting hug.

You wanted to believe him, you really did. But it wasn’t just teen fan girls. It was also grown men. Men your boyfriends age who thought you were just as hideous. They couldn’t have been doing it for the same reasons as the fan girls. They had to have just been being honest, right?

‘cause there’s always somethin’ missin’

there’s always somethin’ in the mirror

that i think looks wrong

when pretty isn’t pretty enough,

what do you do?

You loved spending time with Jack. And you also loved getting to spend time with the people he cared about. But the pressure of looking good before going knowing that pictures would be taken, with or without you knowing, made you want to puke.

You started planning out your outfits far in advance, what shoes, how you’d do you hair, your makeup. Everything. You told yourself over and over again that the outfit is cute. You asked Jack about it and he always reassured you that you would look beautiful in anything and the friends you’d ask say the same thing.

But that still wasn’t enough to stop your brain from making you think everything was wrong. No matter you were wearing, when you looked in the mirror it just looked… wrong. Like something was missing.

“Babe?” Your boyfriends voice came softly through the bedroom door. Jack had invited you to the Devils Halloween Party this year which would be your first New Jersey Devils event. Jack and Luke were wearing matching spider-man costumes with Nico and Dawson who were currently at the brothers apartment. “You ready?” He asked you as he poked his head into the bedroom before fully stepping in, closing the door behind him.

“Yeah, I was just looking for my cat ears.” Lie. You were overanalyzing yourself like you always did before you went out but you knew if you told Jack that he’d feel bad and tell you that you didn’t have to go if you weren’t comfortable.

It wasn’t clear if Jack really believed your lie but he glanced around the room for the headband anyways before finding it on the edge of the bed next to you and placing them on your head for you.

Still sitting on the edge of the bed from when you were putting on your boots before you caught a look at yourself in the mirror, you looked up at Jack, who’s hands stayed on the side of your face after gently placing the headband on you.

Words weren’t exchanged as he looked at you, his thumbs tenderly moving over cheeks. He moved down to place a lovingly soft kiss on your forehead and then your lipstick covered lips.

“You’re beautiful.” He whispered against your mouth. You almost believed him.

njdwag.updates

liked by jackhughes and 2,384 others

njdwag.updates y/n at the halloween party with a fellow wag. she went as a black cat 🐈‍⬛

view 103 comments…

theotherwag sweetest girl to ever exist 🩷

user273 jacks like 🥹

user33 is this a safe space?

user649 depends…

user33 i love yn. and i love yn and jack!! they’re so cute and it’s so obvious everyone that hates her is just jealous :/

user472 REAL!!! they claim to be fans of jack but hate to see him happy… like something isn’t adding up??

liked by 208 others

user634 wait jack went as spider-man and she went as a black cat?? she’s kinda funny for that

user710 jack probably didn’t want to outright match with her 💀

user845 her standing next to another wag.. this is so sad like jack!! wake up!!

and everybody’s keepin’ it up, so you think it’s you

i could change up my body and change up my face

i could try every lipstick in every shade

but i’d always feel the same

‘cause pretty isn’t pretty enough anyways

njdwags

liked by 1,266 others

njdwags y/n y/l/n at her colleges football game with friends!

view 103 comments…

user968 everytime there’s a picture of her standing next to someone it really highlights how ugly she is LMAO

user263 idk why people hate her sm she’s so pretty

user945 she’s even prettier in person! i met her at the game and she was so nice. it’s so sad to see all the hate she gets :(

liked by njdwags

user293 we have class together!! she’s literally so sweet and smart

user683 ugly ass

user78 she chose a college football game over her boyfriends hockey game…

user537 why does she always have her tongue out 💀

and i try to ignorе it, but it's everythin' i see

it’s on the poster on the wall, it's in like every magazine

it’s in my phone, it's in my head, it's in the boys i bring to bed

it’s all around, it's all the time, i don't know why i even try

It’s like you couldn’t stop yourself from reading comments on posts about you. You knew you should ignore but it seemed impossible to ignore at this point.

You knew the comments would be negative like they always were but you always had hope they would be nice for once. And there was nice ones sometimes! But most were so overwhelmingly negative, you couldn’t even focus on the positives.

And it wasn’t just comments either, no. Not anymore at least. Since, you’ve read the comments, it’s like all the negative has leaked out of your phone and into every aspect of your life.

It was when you visited your family over winter break, you had totally forgotten about the posters you had in past years of icons from your childhood. Icons who were so how all skinny or blonde or had stunning blue eyes or all three. The break was supposed to get you away from all that and yet, you still cried yourself to sleep that first night.

Every aspect of life also included you and your boyfriend. You knew before you and Jack had started dating, he was constantly liking other girls bikini pics on instagram. And even though he had stopped doing that, you’d still seen tweets from his fans in the past joking about how he was “always at the scene of the crime” with a screenshot of his like on a picture of the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen. And while you tried to ignore it, you noticed of a pattern with all the girls. They looked a lot like the icons from your childhood. Nothing like you.

So now, late at night, when you were supposed to be having quiet and sweet moments with your boyfriend; your boyfriend that you didn’t get to see very often at that! You spent those moments thinking about those stupid likes on those stupid pictures of those stupidly beautiful girls.

And as for you, the comments had really gotten to your head. Even when you weren’t with Jack and you weren’t on your phone or in your childhood room. You still found someone to compare yourself to. It was like some kind of superpower.

and i bought all the clothes that they told me to buy

i chased some dumb ideal my entire life

and none of it matters and none of it ends

you just feel like shit all over again

Was this silly? It feel silly.

This didn’t feel like you but a change was needed.

Jack (and Luke) had been hanging out with the team all day and you had the day off. You had decided to spend the time alone shopping for clothes that you would’ve never worn before this past month and a box of blonde hair dye.

“We’re home!”

Luke’s voice rang through the apartment, snapping you out of your trance that you were in while staring out the box of hair dye taunting you on the bathroom counter.

“Y/n?” Now it was Jacks voice that made its way through the apartment.

“Bathroom!”

You could hear his footsteps come closer to the bathroom door before a knock on the door, hesitating before opening the door before him. He slipped in before locking the door behind him.

“I was gonna jump in the shower if he wanted to join me.” Jack told you, his hands sliding around your waist with his back to the door. Naturally, your hands slipped around to rest behind his neck, forgetting about the hair dye sitting on the counter.

“I think I’m gonna have to pass this time—”

“You’re gonna dye your hair?” Jack cut you off, his eyes focused behind you.

“Oh- Yeah, I just, um, wanted a change I guess.”

Jack didn’t say anything or take his eyes off of the box of hair dye. He didn’t buy it for a second but he just didn’t understand. How could you not see how beautiful you were. Jack had known the comments were bad, he just didn’t realize they were getting to you this badly. He looked back to you, who had a guilty look in your eyes. Jack sighed before moving you over to the counter, placing you next to the box.

“Baby, if you really want to dye your hair blonde; go for for it. But I don’t think you want to.” You couldn’t even look at him. You felt embarrassed that you’d been confronted about how out of hand these insecurities have gotten, even if it wasn’t really your fault. You felt like a child being scolded. “I know we’ve talked about this before but you really have to listen to me this time okay, babe?”

Jacks hand came up to your chin, gently pushing your head up to make eye contact with him.

“You’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. I mean that. All those assholes just want to find someone to hate more than themselves and I’m sorry that dating me has made you a target for that. But blonde hair dye isn’t gonna make them stop. I’ll say something— I should’ve said something sooner but I’ll do it now. Just- Just don’t change for them because they won’t ever be happy. Pretty isn’t pretty enough for them, okay?”

You were crying now. Because you knew he was right and you were upset you had let them drive you crazy. You continued to cry as your boyfriends arm came around your frame. You uttered apologies, not quite sure for what, while his hand rubbed your back.

After a while, your tears stopped and Jack pulled away. “I love you. And I told you, if you really want to go blonde, go for it. I mean, you’ll look hot either way—”

“Jack!”

“Okay, okay. Blonde or no blonde.” He asked with a small smile on his face, holding up the box of hair dye.

“No blonde.”

Jacks smile grew as he threw the box into the trashcan. His hands slid down to your thighs, picking you up and wrapping your legs around his waist.

“So… can we get that shower now?”

#GUTS SERIES🩸 #jack hughes #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes imagine #nhl imagine #hockey imagine

[judeswhore]

i’d kill you if i loved you less hard - jude bellingham | instagram files

summary: your relationship with jude is complicated but that doesn’t stop you both from wreaking havoc online

pairing: situationship!jude bellingham x singer!reader

face claim: gracie abrams

notes: you can find my masterlist here. this is based on an ask i got in my hey jude :) tag and i just had to do it. pictures are not mine, credit to the original owners

yourusername

liked by judebellingham and others.

yourusername thank u to the fan who gave me this hat u made my night🤠this has been an incredible few weeks!!

view all comments…

user1 so so pretty

user2 I HAD THE BEST TIME TONIGHT

judebellingham u wearing that tiara so everyone knows ur a pillow princess🤨

↳yourusername i work for it

↳judebellingham i’ve seen socks move more than u

↳yourusername maybe u just bore me

user3 please please sing 21 at the next tour🫶🏻🫶🏻

bestfriendsuser u slayed as always

judebellingham save a horse, ride a cowgirl

↳yourusername u saying u wanna ride me?

↳judebellingham i mean if ur offering🤷

↳user4 JUDE??

vogue 🩷

braedenlemasters cowboy hats on stage is my thing.

↳yourusername but i look prettier :)

———

judebellingham

liked by jackgrealish and others.

judebellingham huge game, huge win. enjoy the break❤️

view all comments…

yourusername okay whore

↳judebellingham pot meet kettle

↳yourusername kinda mean :(

↳judebellingham thought u liked being my whore

↳yourusername more delusional than ur fans

user4 ^^^very weird

gioreyna my brother❤️

user5 🥰🥰🥰

user6 thighs🤤🤤🤤

↳yourusername exactly what i’ve been saying

↳judebellingham get a grip

jackgrealish come to city x

yourusername be honest what will it take for u to yell at me like this

↳gioreyna u have no shame🙄

↳yourusername if you’d have taken me on that date i wouldn’t have had to lower my standards like this

↳user7 girl stick to singing these boys ain’t shit

———

yourusername

liked by gioreyna and others.

yourusername it’s supposed to be fun turning 21 or wtv

view all comments…

jobebellingham wonder who that could be

↳yourusername it could possibly be ur dad

↳jobebellingham fuck off u worm

user8 happy birthday favourite girl

user9 HAPPY BDAY❤️

user10 are we gonna just ignore the boy in her bed?

↳user11 it’s jude it’s a common occurrence tbh

judebellingham happy birthday ig

judebellingham suppose u look kinda fit

↳yourusername i distinctly remember u telling me this morning that i’m the prettiest girl you’ve ever seen

↳judebellingham i say daft things when my dicks in ur mouth

↳karim_adeyemi there’s other people on this app u know

bestfriendsuser happy bday girly looking as hot as always ily <3

bestfriendsuser im gonna act like that third slide doesn’t exist for my own sanity

↳yourusername probably shouldn’t open my snaps then

user12 this feels like a relationship announcement

↳yourusername it’s not.

user13 spending her birthday together but they’re NOT dating🤨

↳yourusername we just hang out sometimes🙃

↳trentarnold66 hang out🤣🤣

———

judebellingham

liked by declanrice and others.

judebellingham views were nice

view all comments…

user14 wtf??

user15 is she his girlfriend

yourusername don’t tell anyone but u look really pretty rn

yourusername why’d u post the pic where u can’t actually see my arse

↳judebellingham because i don’t want people looking at ur arse

user16 so much for not dating

reecejames u two are foul

bestfriendsuser is someone gonna explain how this happened

↳judebellingham when two people really like each other they do nice things together

↳bestfriendsuser i really fkn hate u

user17 my girls getting corrupted :(

gioreyna 🥰🥰🥰

↳judebellingham 😘😘😘

gioreyna mr and mrs “it’s not serious”

↳yourusername it’s not serious🙄he’s just got a big bank account

↳judebellingham tell him what else is big babe

user18 ^^^ i hate seeing this stuff

———

yourusername

liked by masonmount and others.

yourusername in this weeks news

view all comments…

masonmount GO MARIO

↳yourusername thanks 4 being my luigi🫶🏻🫶🏻

↳judebellingham mason’s like 4ft shouldn’t it be the other way round?

masonmount 🍒🍒

↳user19 MASON?? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN

↳user20 i’m sure they’re just friends

↳user21 i really don’t like her

masonmount i still feel a little sick and my ears won’t stop ringing

↳judebellingham aren’t u too old for go karting??

user22 i swear she was with jude

↳user23 she’s got a type apparently

bestfriendsuser this i can get behind

↳yourusername shhh🤭🤭

user24 i am so in love with u

oliviarodrigo girl how are u so HOT

↳user25 collab soon🙏

jobebellingham that sunburn looks painful

↳judebellingham bro why are u here

↳jobebellingham she’s upset with u not me🤷

———

judebellingham

liked by england and others.

judebellingham in this weeks news

view all comments…

jobebellingham give it a rest🤣

yourusername first shirts ugly

↳judebellingham really? cos it got me laid

↳yourusername did it fuck u were in my dms all night

user26 u look SO good omg

user27 him using the same caption as y/n they’re definitely fighting

↳user28 i think they broke up tbh

↳user29 they were never together😭

erling.haaland good looking fella

↳judebellingham all u big guy❤️

bvb09 the coldest🥶

user000 the best week with u

↳judebellingham u know it🤪

↳yourusername oh?

↳bestfriendsuser oh??

↳yourusername but he was “missing me”

gioreyna liked this comment.

jobebellingham liked this comment.

user30 ^^ these two are so messy

———

yourusername

liked by oliviarodrigo and others.

yourusername hot girl healing

view all comments…

judebellingham gorgeous😍😍

this comment has been deleted.

judebellingham ur arse looks good in these jeans

this comment has been deleted.

judebellingham answer ur phone bro

this comment has been deleted.

jennaortega obsessed with the first pic

↳yourusername me when i kiss u

user31 we all saw jude’s comments

user32 so so pretty u deserve the absolute world

user33 y/n heartbreak era??? new music coming???

↳user34 i don’t want her to be sad but we NEED new music

yourusername liked this comment.

masonmount nice jeans

↳user34 not again🙄🙄

judebellingham liked this comment.

gioreyna can u heal a little faster i’m getting bored

user36 u are my idol <3

———

judebellingham

liked by yourusername and others.

judebellingham good to be back😁

view all comments…

bvb09 Let’s go!!⚫️🟡

user37 y/n still liking his pics👀

karim_adeyemi cute

user38 i wanna give him a rose :(

kalvinphillips most i’ve seen u smile

gioreyna should give that rose to someone else

↳bestfriendsuser she needs a lot more than that

↳gioreyna it’s time he started breaking bank

↳yourusername i wanna date u instead🤭

↳judebellingham you’re off limits.

↳yourusername mason didn’t think so

this comment has been deleted.

sanchooo10 big things to come🙏

↳judebellingham come back dortmund bro

↳sanchooo10 👀👀

adidasfootball ⭐️

user39 petition for u to come to everton

yourusername ur beard looks like pubes

this comment has been deleted.

———

yourusername

liked by sadiesink and others.

yourusername big girls don’t cry🙃

view all comments…

yourusername ps. new music is cooking

sadiesink HOT girls don’t cry

sadiesink especially over mediocre men

↳yourusername especially not men who use bunny ears to tie their laces

user40 new music new music new music

user41 show us ur tattoo!!!!

↳gioreyna it’s a portrait of me

↳yourusername a nude portrait🤭

user42 the way jude is nowhere to be seen

trentarnold66 can i get tickets to ur next gig?

↳yourusername will u hook me up w aitch?

↳trentarnold66 suppose so if u play nice

user43 prettiest and sweetest girl ever <3

user44 u were too good for him anyway

jobebellingham liked this comment.

gioreyna @.jobebellingham stop being a little shit🤣

———

three weeks later.

yourusername added to their story!

↳ judebellingham replied to your story!

jude:

u wanna show me

what’s under that top?

you:

not particularly

jude:

don’t be mean

u don’t miss me?

i missed u

you:

missed me or

missed fucking me

jude:

both

i wanna see u

no one’s home

you:

i’m busy

jude:

with mason?

you:

no

jude:

so come over

i know u need me to fuck u

you:

i can’t think of anything worse

jude:

oh really?

i remember u were

begging me two weeks ago

to fuck u in that club

bathroom

seemed like u really

needed it

you:

no idea what ur

talking about

jude:

come over and i’ll

jog ur memory

c’mon pretty girl

let me show u how

much i’ve missed u

———

judebellingham

liked by trentarnold66 and others.

judebellingham call her easy

view all comments…

yourusername too far

↳judebellingham i’ve got a list of other things to call u but my mum follows me

↳yourusername 🤨🤨

user45 no fucking way

yourusername why would u post that last pic

↳judebellingham so everyone knows how good u are for me

↳yourusername just gagged🥴🥴

↳judebellingham come gag on something else

reecejames surely not bro

↳judebellingham i don’t see what’s wrong

user46 she does seem kinda easy tbf

↳user47 and jude doesn’t?

jobebellingham mate u could’ve kept these private

bestfriendsuser poor barnaby😢😢

↳yourusername dw i cleaned him :))

↳bestfriendsuser i literally cannot stand u

↳judebellingham i left u a little present for next time ur in him

↳bestfriendsuser ur fucking VILE man

↳judebellingham THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT

gioreyna u can take that virgin ring off now

———

yourusername

liked by braedenlemasters and others.

yourusername stream i should hate you, out friday!

view all comments…

user48 ur so beautiful… and he’s there

judebellingham tell me ur joking

judebellingham i can sue u for defamation

↳yourusername baby that’s such a big word for u🥺

↳judebellingham i’d be more annoyed if u didn’t look so pretty

↳bestfriendsuser embarrassing👎

user49 FINALLY NEW MUSIC

user50 so SO excited i can’t wait

judebellingham can we talk about how fit i look here tho

↳yourusername no we can’t

jennaortega oh i’m SEATED for this

gioreyna i don’t think u understand how badly i regret introducing u two

↳yourusername you’d be terribly bored without our drama

↳gioreyna yeah but i’d still have my sanity

user51 i just know this new music is gonna top anything else this year

user52 u look gorgeous!! i hope you’ve found happiness

↳jobebellingham don’t count on it

masonmount cant wait to listen💙

↳judebellingham bro have some shame

———

one year later.

judebellingham

liked by jobebellingham and others.

judebellingham so proud of you angel🤍

view all comments…

user53 OMG???

user54 is this the official announcement

yourusername i love u ig

↳judebellingham c’mon u can do better than that

↳yourusername why don’t u come home and i’ll show u just how much i love u

user55 oh she’s gorgeous

user56 jude we want ur girlfriend

reecejames congrats man

gioreyna ur punching clearly

jobebellingham u lasted a whole 12 hours before telling everyone

↳judebellingham ur acting like everyone didn’t already know

user57 this is actually adorable

user58 i want what they have🥺

↳jobebellingham trust me u don’t

masonmount happy for you two!

judebellingham pinned this comment.

↳yourusername do u have to be so petty

↳judebellingham yeah he tried to fuck my girl

↳yourusername MOVE ON

#jude bellingham #hey jude :) #situationship!jude #jude bellingham fluff #jude bellingham smut #jude bellingham blurb #jude bellingham fic #jude bellingham one shot #jude bellingham x reader

[starshapedb0x]

𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐌 ✧˚ · .

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: You’re studying to be an engineer and cars have always been your passion, making it big on social media with your achievements.. and catching the eye of a certain Monegasque.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: None really! Just a cute social media au. The reader gets hate from a lot of fans, that’s worth mentioning.

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: Charles Leclerc x engineerstudent!reader

𝐀/𝐍: I’m so sorry I took a big break hehe! I went on vacation and couldn’t update or even upload this! Hope you enjoy it xo 💋

yourusername

liked by charlesleclerc and 108 others.

yourusername someone should’ve told me.

view all 45 comments

yourbsf good luck girl

yourusername pls get me starbies

username I need ur notes.

yourusername I’ll help u study come in

username HELLO? WHY DID CHARLES LECLERC LIKE THIS POST?

username girl I wouldn’t worry, she is a car focused engineer soo it’s normal he’s into this stuff

charles_leclerc

liked by scuderiaferrari and 1 711 796 others.

charles_leclerc homerace 🔜

view all 7 356 comments.

yourusername can’t wait!!

liked by charlesleclerc

username AND HE LIKES HER COMMENTS

username she was invited to the next gp, and it is his homerace, stop stirring the pot bae 💀

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc and 3 472 others.

yourusername working on a new carr

view all 1 005 comments.

charles_leclerc never wished I was a car so bad

liked by yourusername

username WHAT

username HELLO?!

username shes so cool guys

username best engineer out there

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername and 8 965 247 others.

charles_leclerc Not our best race, but the best company.

view all 10 983 comments.

yourusername you did great out there.

charles_leclerc ❤️

username there’s no way

username theyre so cute

username they’re not even a thing

username they totally are!!! She’s fixing those engines while he hands her the silly little tools.

yourusername

liked by scuderiaferrari and 6 550 021 others

yourusername thank you, Ferrari for the opportunity to watch your engineers while working. It’s insane how much I’ve learned and how much these people work themselves all day, yet are terribly underrated when it comes to the press and media.

username u dropped this babe 👑

username more of Y/N in the races pls!!!!! She explains everything so well, her blog is 😻😻

charles_leclerc hope you return

carlossainz55 great having you there this weekend, y/n

maxverstappen1 perhaps next time to the bull garage..

yourusername Although I am a red girl… your cars are too good I need to learn please 🙏

yourusername

liked by redbullracing and 7 274 827 others.

yourusername They did have me there guys.. but Max threatened he’d stop talking to me if I revealed their car’s secrets.

maxverstappen1 Never said that ! (Keep those complicated engineering sketches to yourself.)

username girl is a homie hopper…

charles_leclerc chérie.. your color is totally red.

username WHATTT

username no way y’all

charles_leclerc, yourusername

liked by scuderiaferrari and 7 958 133

charles_leclerc My pr manager said it was okay now, so to my favorite future engineer who works herself off everyday.

username called it u little bitches

username now we know how she got those paddock passes.. social climbing ig.

maxverstappen1 she will be blue. 💙

charles_leclerc 😂

username lol this girl isn’t studying to be an engineer she’s taking advantage of the dude

username ugh and I thought I’d found someone genuinely trying to help us stem girls.

username bet she’s gonna stop working on everything now that she’s got him.

f1goss1p

liked by 193 283

f1goss1p new wag alert! Y/N and Charles Leclerc have come out with their relationship.. but his fans don’t seem to be taking well. As for me, I say grow up. She’s a talented engineer, a straight A student and a hardworking person.. stop hating on someone because they’ve achieved your dream, work for it yourself. Stop making this beautiful girl cry.

view all 2948 comments

username ok gossip account ate

username the haters real quiet now

Should I make a part 2 guys 🤭🤭

(Also part two to This summer coming soon 🔜)

#f1 fanfic #f1 one shot #f1 x you #formula 1 x reader #charles leclerc #charles lechair #social media #social media au #fanfic #visuals #engineering #student #reader insert #x reader #charles leclerc x female reader #female reader

[l3viat8an]

i'm not always a fan of the perv content but damn i really loved the last levi one 🤤 like ??? what if mc figures out it's a camera and starts playing it up for him? and then confronting him like "if you wanted to see me you could've asked"

- 🍵💕

Nsfw

I’m ngl perv content is just hot sometimes ‘n with Levi it’s even better!! Tho I literally told myself that I wasn’t gonna do ‘what if MC know about the camera’ after posting the first one-

link to the post cuz this is kinda a part two ig- But here we are :)

You had just finished and so had he. you’d been extra loud tonight, you even moaned his name when you came…:fuck Levi thought the night couldn’t get any better! Could it?

But now instead of your usual routine of cleaning up and going to bed you sat up and sighed looking at the plushie, right where Levi’s little camera is….and now you’re talking to it???- “If you wanted to watch me, Leviachan, you could’ve just asked~”

Levi felt his heart sink, that sweet nickname falling from your lips as your hand reaches for the toy, “Now, if you want to see more….you’ll have to come here.” you got up and put the plushie in your closet, giving a little wave and closing the door.

Levi’s never moved faster, bolting for your room not even knocking, just barging in and slamming the door behind him.

He can’t look at you. Can’t even look your way as he starts mumbling apologizes, how he didn’t mean to….he just couldn’t help himself and how he’s sure you really do hate him now and he’s just so gross and he’s really sorry, he’ll take the toy back and never talk to you again and-

“Levi look at me.” your voice is still soft and Levi’s slow to raise his gaze and actually look at you, laying in your bed just watching him…. “I don’t hate you.” you think you probably should…but you don’t.

“Y-you don’t?” Levi’s voice is still a whisper as he keeps his eyes on your face. “Nope. I am mad at you. But I think you just need to be punished.”

“Punished? How?” Levi’s eyes light up at the words and it’s obvious he’d do anything for you.…..

Now honestly you could do anything, and Levi would love it. You could make him watch you and not let him touch himself. He’s enjoy that too much-

Make him touch you….maybe make him put his mouth to good use- sooo many possibilities~ whatever will you do?-

#I couldn’t decide on a punishment in the end 🧍🏼‍♀️ #☕️💕 anon! #ro rambles #obey me! #obey me levi smut #obey me levi x reader smut #obey me smut #smut #x reader smut #leviathan x reader #om! smut #obmswd smut #obmswd levi x reader #obmswd x reader

[happeehippie]

instagram j.b.

summary: follow along with joe and his girlfriend evie as they go through his football career.

*this was originally a yn fic but i made some changes*

*face claim is Yasmin Quintana*

part one. part two.

joeyb_9

liked by breezyevie, sam_hubbard_, and 352,027 others

joeyb_9: Bye week beard

view all 2,967 comments…

user: all of a sudden i’m a football fan

> breezyevie: how i felt 4 years ago when i seen him in uniform for the first time.

user: ON TOOOOOP

user: love me some jeaux burreaux

breezyevie: STUD 🥵

> joeyb_9: you like the beard huh?

user: you’re a beast bro!

breezyevie

liked by joeyb_9, sam_hubbard_, bengals, and 209,326 others

breezyevie: joe beard (hot boi behavior)

view all 2,159 comments…

user: ur so fine

millyg: i guess now it’s go eagles

> breezyevie: it will NEVER be go eagles!

user: good luck today!

user: this dude is such a shitshow

> breezyevie: don’t make me get mean on ig.

user: praying for speedy recovery. that was tough to watch.

joeyb_9: where did you find this guy?

> breezyevie: he sat beside me in freshman orientation class and i didn’t stand a chance. total hunk. 🤩

user: overrated

breezyevie

liked by sam_hubbard_, joeyb_9, and 387,927 others

breezyevie: jb I hate that this is the way your first season ended, but I know you’ll be back kicking ass next season and i can’t wait to watch. i love you so much joey!

view all 1,674 comments…

user: send me joes number

> breezyevie: #9

> user: stop. this is funny. 🤣

user: get well soon joe!

user: sis try again because this is my man.

> breezyevie: oh that’s my b.

user: watching joe burrow play football is my favorite thing to do in life.

> breezyevie: there are few things i love more. 🧡

joeyb_9: it’s football baby.. lucky to have you with me when times are tough.

> breezyevie: 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

user: get a better o line and bulk this guy up

lahjay10_: the come back is always greater than the set back!

user: they just need to draft a new qb

user: we miss you out here joey!

> breezyevie: trust me he misses it too!!

breezyevie

liked by joeyb_9, lahjay10_, and 216,773 others.

breezyevie: lots of questions about jb’s recovery… well long story short he’s a beast. y’all ain’t ready for it.

view all 2,198 comments…

user: such a cutie pie

user: i want him to have my babies 💋💋

> breezyevie: oh. i don’t quite think that’s how it works.

> millyg: you need to stay out of your own comments 🤣

user: so when are yall getting married?

> breezyevie: @joeyb_9 i’m trying to be an NFL wife.

user: hope he never comes back.

> breezyevie: dude. effff offf.

joeyb_9: the fun begins..

> breezyevie: go baby!

user: nice squidward hat 🤣

user: stay on the couch.

joeyb_9

liked by breezyevie, bengals, lahjay_10 and 250,314 others

joeyb_9: See you in September

view all 9,765 comments…

user: unreal turn around!

user: need a girlfriend?

> breezyevie: it’s like i’m not even here. 😢

bengals: see you soon!!!

user: I need those fantasy points from you bro

user: this dude is dog water

> breezyevie: what an unintelligent thing to say.

user: you still suck!

breezyevie: comeback king. 👑

> joeyb_9: i wouldn’t have been able to do any of this without you.

user: Can’t wait to see you out there whoopin’ ass

breezyevie

liked by millyg, joeyb_9, bengals, and 349,927 others

breezyevie: highlights.. i already miss it. i’m always so proud of you jb. 🧡🤍

view all 2,489 comments…

user: serious inquiry.. i’d love to smoke a backwood with joe b

joeyb_9: i love u

user: he should be posting more about you, you have stood by him for so long.

> breezyevie: this is you creating a problem where there’s no problem. (:

millyg: it’s always fly eagles fly

> breezyevie: this is becoming a serious issue

user: you are gorgeous! lucky joe!

> joeyb_9: i am so lucky

breezyevie ig stories

#bengals #cincinnati bengals #joe burrow #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow insta au #joe burrow instagram #joe burrow x reader #nfl #nfl imagine

[jacesvelaryons]

valentines

tom blyth x kpopidol!fem!reader

fc: jennie kim of blackpink

part two to english love affair

notes: and i’m back! you must’ve feared i’d never post again but i’m more inspired than ever. thank you for someone suggesting a valentines post, and for once im early. most posts will be coming from me soon!

please request, send me anons, talk to me, suggestions and what not. i do soc med aus and also written blurbs and have plans for stories about tom and his characters. ♥️

hope you enjoy! again please like, follow, share, and most especially reblog with your lovely comments to reach more and send me feedback/comments on anything.

divider by @cafekitsune

yourusername

liked by hunterschafer and 5,009,656 likes

happy valentines to my heart of heart, the soul of my soul, my best friend, the light of my life and more. my life has never been the same since you’ve been it, and i wouldn’t want it any other way. i love you @/tomblyth

user145 THEYRE SO CUTE

randomuser8 oh i’m so single 🤒

tomblyth i love you too, my sweet 🩷

↪️ yourusername i love you so much

↪️ tomholland2013 oh get a room guys 🙄

↪️ yourusername @/zendaya go get your man please

↪️ zendaya 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️i don’t know what you mean

↪️ tomholland2013 HEY! 😭😭

jessicalxander dream couple!

hallebailey you guys are so perfect together

tayrussell send the wedding invites please 🙏

↪️ user7 HUH?

↪️ ynfan she’s playing we know y/n and tom are so busy to even think of it lol

tomblyth

liked by alexademie and 2.8m others

my siren, my muse. as another valentines rolls in, i never wish to take this for granted as another milestone simply and enjoy everyday i’ve had with you, my angel. my brilliant, talented, gorgeous, intelligent girl. i love you @/yourusername

jenaissante treating my girl right as you should 😌

↪️ yourusername love youu girlie pop 🫂

↪️ ynfan6 tom found dead in a ditch who?

user197 aww him following her in the studios to watch her produce so cute

johnnyjsuh and when are we getting that solo song y/n? 🤨

↪️onyourm__ark yeah @/yourusername where’s all that studio time going

↪️ yourusername trust it’s coming soon 🙏🙏

↪️ user67 she said this last time i hate ___ entertainment 😭

username9 she’s so pretty i wish to be like her when i grew up

antifan8 get this ugly off tom’s profile

↪️ tomblyth you have no right to insult my girlfriend like that. get out my page otherwise.

↪️ randomuser5 tom defending his girl as he should

user77 nobody send a truck in front her company she ain’t leaving her man

liked by yourusername

yourusername

liked by tomblyth and others

oh how i love love.

usernamehere her apron is so cute does anyone know where it’s from?

↪️ random8 probably couture or something at this point or goop lol

↪️ user7 probably my mom made this

↪️ ynfan725 who’s momma?

↪️ user7 that’s the brand 😭

↪️ ynfan725 oh my bad ignore me lol 😅

user86 she’s so spoiled by him and he in turn manifesting this for me

random9 me next year

user7775 that cake must be so good and easy to make

↪️ fan721 i’m a pastry chef and make these and they ain’t easy lol

kpopfan421 ynnie what’s the name of your bear?

↪️ yourusername not sure 🤔 any suggestions?

↪️ user8 how about tommy!

↪️ yourusername lets go with that 😁

tomblyth

liked by mayahawke and 7.8m others

ynfan856 oh y/n you are so loved

random1002 the daily love notes in the mirror and countdown oh i’m sick

melissabarrera 🩷

oliviarodrigo how romantic!

rachelzegler putting in the effort blyth!

↪️ tomblyth anything for my girl

↪️ rachelzegler ofc because i’d steal her from you if you don’t 😝

austinbutler great job man

yourusername

liked by taylorswift and 10.5m likes

so grateful, i’m speechless.

alexconsani OKAY GIRLL GET THE BAG

↪️ yourusername learned from you sis 😍

user86 this has to be the most liked post on ig in a while

kpopfan454 do they have this on amazon lol

↪️ user1111 you checked craigslist or something i’ve given up 😭😭

random723 oh he has to be rich rich to give her that

↪️ user913 GOOD FOR HER!

hunterschafer you deserve this and more my angel

↪️ yourusername love you so much hunty im going to cry

#tom blyth x you #tom blyth fanfiction #tom blyth social media au #tom blyth imagine #tom blyth #tom blyth x reader #coriolanus snow #coriolanus snow imagine #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus x you #send me stuff #tom blyth smut #billy the kid x reader #coriolanus snow smut #coriolanus x reader #social media au #soc med aus #sm aus

[menlove]

[image id: an ask from @harbingerofskulls that reads: "im gonna b real i only knew the jerking off i would love to hear you elaborate more if you want to go on the whole situation" /end id]

answering here so i can save as a draft without risking the ask disappearing bc tumblr's been doing that lately but

oh god </3 for everyone else- it's talking about this post. sooo i'm gonna go through each one bc i've been feeling insane for several weeks. i'll do my best to cite my sources lmao

i don't know (johnny johnny)

this is referring to this unreleased VERY early beatles track from 1960. the audio quality is absolute shit & as such unfortunately people love to put words to it that don't make much sense in either direction (i.e a lot of mclennon fans want to hear "you're in love with me" and a lot of people that hate mclennon will just make up the weirdest lyrics that make 0 sense so it's Not Gay). some of the lyrics that ARE clear make it obvious this song is about the two of them running away together- at one point i'm fairly certain paul says "how am i gonna tell my father that we're leaving town?" probably referring to them leaving to hamburg. which would be fine but some of the other lyrics areeeee..... very..... Hm. like multiple times paul refers to john as "my boy" and there's bits of them talking about not knowing what to tell their friends & wanting to just run off together alone. if i were the other members of the band having to record this i would have killed them with hammers <3 also the entire end is just paul going "oh johnny" like 1 million times. okay. sure. also since the lyrics ARE so garbled i mean i guess people could be right about it saying "how am i gonna tell my father you're in love with me" but i just don't hear it. still, a very gay song about running off together and getting away from everything and everyone, complete with moaning the other's name </3

2. paris

this one is a huge part of McLennon Fandom Lore lmao but for good reason. not citing sources on all this bc it's one of those that's just Fact & can be found in like any beatles biography or thebeatlesbible.com (my savior) but. for john's 21st birthday, he got 100 pounds from a rich relative. instead of taking his girlfriend or any of his other friends, he decided to use the money to take paul to spain. but they stopped in paris on the way and just decided to stay there. which i mean like. taking your best friend over your girlfriend to the city of love is a little weird but it's not THAT weird. it's everything else that makes people want to chew glass about it. including some of the other things on this list. like this audio of john just goofing around singing about paris and paul, with such hits as "my cheri, my pau pau my pau paul." which is :| okay best friend. and paul has this picture hung up in his house that he took of john sleeping in paris. okay. sure. why not. (although ig there's some doubt about if the photo is from paris? either way it's a picture paul took and has framed in his house which is incriminating enough my man). also NOT in the original post but may pang, a woman john had a brief affair with in the 70s, wrote a book called loving john. in it, there's this quote:

After a late lunch, Linda launched into a long paean to the joys of living in England. When she was finished, she turned to John and said, “Don’t you miss England?”

“Frankly,” John replied, “I miss Paris.”

okay! also in an interview once he said:

The thing was all the kissing and the holding that was going on in Paris. And it was so romantic, just to be there and see them, even though I was twenty-one and sort of not romantic. But I really loved it, the way the people would just stand under a tree kissing; and they weren’t mauling at each other, they were just kissing.

(interview with david scheff for playboy in september 1980)

3. if i fell

this one i already made an insane post on that started my spiral into posting about the beatles publicly </3 but, essentially, the song "if i fell" by john is..... well it's most likely about paul. he said it wasn't about his wife but that it was auto-biographical and he never really had any public affairs that weren't flings, certainly not a lover. but most damning is he wrote the complete lyrics for the first time on a valentine's day card addressed "to paul with love" with some hearts and arrows pointing to where the lyrics were written. absolutely insane. made me insane.

4. oh! darling

rawest paul song of all time if i do say so myself lmao. but it's just.... Highly Suspicious, that's what it is. a Lot of beatles fans/historians will admit this song is most likely about john but they won't admit that it's fucking romantic if it is. like.

like that is so blatantly romantic idk what to say other than that. also, in the official recording on abbey road, there's Several points where paul says "darling" that sound more like he's saying "johnny" which is what he called him. people brush it off by saying it's his accent, but there's a very clear difference between when he's saying "darling" and when he's saying "johnny". i mean the Lore behind this is that it was written right when things were splitting up between them (& the rest of the band) so it makes sense and it's why most people are willing to accept it's about john. it's just insane to me that they'll accept it's about john without considering the implications of that.

5. the real life demo

this one made me want to light myself on fire i won't lie to you. but here it is! john had a song called "real love" and this is a very early demo of it. but instead of the lyrics that came to actually be in the song (which are thought to be about yoko but let's not get into the fact that it was on a tape labeled "for paul" but whatever), it includes john fucking crying as he sings saying:

"was i just dreaming or was it only yesterday? i used to hold you in my arms. and now a baby and another on the way... la la la la farm..."

which can quite literally be about no one else but paul, as this demo was recorded when he'd just had two children with his wife linda and linda was pregnant with their third child. they'd moved to a farm in scotland. hearing this audio clip did genuinely make me want to lie down in the dirt for a week. also "i used to hold you in my arms" just... yeah. god. when people think it was unrequited idk what to say, really.

6. If Paul Were A Woman-

shoving these two together but. in april of 85, paul said in an interview about john and yoko's relationship:

"I mean, I couldn’t stand in the way of someone who’d fallen in love. You can’t say, 'Who’s this?' You can’t really do that. If I was a girl, maybe I could go out and…"

okay bestie <3 and what would make your relationship different if you were a woman? interesting! and yoko had something similar to say. in this audio, she says:

"I’m sure that if he had been a woman or something, he would have been a great threat – because there’s something definitely very strong between John and Paul."

just reminds me of being a kid and telling my best friends "if i were a boy i'd date you" lol. incredible. does anyone here know about bisexuality.

7. stuart!

not much to say here except that john had a best friend, stu sutcliffe, who died young & before that had been the bassist in the band. paul fucking hated him sooo much oh he SEETHED. a lot has been written on that relationship but it was.... very interesting to say the least. it could have just been about the band, or just jealousy over john's friendship, but take that with a lot of john biographers suspecting john had feelings/even a sexual relationship with stuart and it paints a very Interesting picture to say the least

8. john's bisexuality

here's a compilation of quotes about it, but john was more than likely bisexual. which has nothing to do w paul, really, but more to do against people that like to claim they were both Heterosexual Men. although an interesting quote in this compilation is him saying he's "had paul" lmfao

9. paul's post-beatles work

there's just.... there is so so so much here i don't even know where to begin. @ringompreg has a good compilation of paul songs here. a lot of them do take a bit of Lore but like..... it comes down to the fact that both him and john have/had admitted many times to using their lyrics during The Breakup Years to talk to/reference each other and sooooo many of these lyrics are insanely blatant. the two i mentioned were tug of war and let me roll it, both of which are acknowledged to be about john by most people WITH NO ONE BOTHERING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE IMPLICATIONS OF THAT which..... tug of war has this:

we could stand on top of the mountain with our flag unfurled? dancing to a beat played on a different drum? this is what gaylors think gaylor conspiracy is but paul mccartney is really out here saying this shit.

and let me roll it is so fucking blatantly romantic but every reviewer is like haha! what a cool song that's "making fun" of john and clearly in his style! like are straight people stupid genuinely. anyway:

bonus to that but about JOHN'S solo work :)))))) he wrote a song called "watching the wheels" and when you consider he very much responded to MANY of paul's solo stuff it's :)

which as a response to let me roll it would just be... so devestating but it may be a stretch idk if i'm onto anything there it's just worth Mentioning

and there's a lot of others, a lot of them in that post up there. like far too many where paul mentions falling in love with a friend like Alright.

10. paul's first lsd trip with john/"i know" "i know"

this one is less blatantly romantic but it is just insane. here's an article. and a quote from george martin about it. the first time paul tripped on acid w john was bc john accidentally took some and he took him home & then took acid w him bc he didn't want john to be alone on the trip :( but, notably:

"And we looked into each other’s eyes, the eye contact thing we used to do, which is fairly mind-boggling. You dissolve into each other. But that’s what we did, round about that time, that’s what we did a lot," the singer recalled, "And it was amazing. You’re looking into each other’s eyes and you would want to look away, but you wouldn’t, and you could see yourself in the other person. It was a very freaky experience and I was totally blown away."

he also apparently saw john as the, and i quote, "emperor of eternity" during this trip??????? okay

SOMEWHERE i can't find it rn and i'm getting lazy but somewhere they (i think paul?) talk about the fact that they used to just stare into each other's eyes and then say "i know" "i know" which. considering john's song "i know (i know)" makes me crazy

11. in my life/i will

these are really just some devastating songs with lyrics that make you really raise your eyebrows. for in my life, written by john, it's just an incredibly romantic & sweet song that is again, not about his wife. given that the lennon estate is still out here posting pictures of paul to those lyrics i have to say it's a liiiiittle suspicious. and i will is...... it's one that paul insists is not about his girlfriend at the time, jane asher. and when you look at the lyrics vs how him and john met.... like. the song goes:

and the story of how they met was that paul saw john repeatedly before they ever met, when he didn't know who john was other than that he thought he looked cool & admired his sideburns (lmfao). and when they did finally meet, it was when john was singing at a garden fete (party) and paul was in the crowd just Mesmerized. so. well. you can see.... you can see how fitting that is. makes me crazy makes me want to chew glass actually

12. "we were each other's intimates" and other insane quotes

"we were each other's intimates" is a paul quote about john which is just insane but that's not even the tip of the iceberg. here's a ton of quote compilations.

13. "literally everything else"/honorable mentions

some honorable mentions go out to: john going on stage w elton john & playing i saw her standing there and introducing it as "a song by an estranged fiance of mine" okay! the "just like starting over" demos. okay! which isn't even to MENTION the fact that paul locked himself away in the studio listening to "just like starting over" on repeat for DAYS after john died like???? john saying repeatedly that he considered paul & yoko to be his two major partners in life including in an interview the literal day he died. a whole ass rpf movie where they kiss & talk like they're ex-lovers and dance in central park (two of us) made by the same dude that made the let it be movie like. he knew them personally? he worked with them closely? and the only thing paul had to say about it was just essentially that it was what he wished would've happened like???????? i can't find a super reliable source for this so take it w a grain of salt, but apparently paul referred to mclennon fanfiction as "beautiful stories" and doesn't mind them being written. paul also had a cat that had kittens & he named two of the kittens pyramus and thisbe after fictional lovers he and john played and he gave pyramus (the character paul played) to john :|

and literally so much else like all of this and it's not even all of it. it's not even close to all of it. i didn't even get to talk about the way in "get back" the documentary, paul started talking about john leaving the band for yoko and how john would choose her over them and then he got teary eyed, started choke laughing, and then started singing "build me up buttercup" before looking at the cameras and stopping. what the FUCK was that about! IT'S NOT EVEN GETTING INTO THE SONG "TWO OF US" THAT'S SO OBVIOUSLY ABOUT JOHN THAT IT HURTS. it's. it's not even scratching the surface. they were just genuinely insane about each other.

#mclennon #this is long but it had to be to expand on every reference i made in that post FJADJFASDF

[starsandhughes]

Penalty Box Series— Shoulder Check Showcase Edition

photo credits via instagram by _msfilms, henchcliffe_media, and greghorowitzphoto! all accounts are public dw! look at the tagged photos of the shoulder check on insta for more pics and the videos i took screenshots of!

22-23 Season & Summer Masterlist

p.s. kreider is in this bc it makes sense… sue me. tw to non rangers fans on him ig??

this is a long one to make up for all my short ones recently <3 (lie i just couldn’t shut up)

yourusername

liked by trevorzegras, shattdeuces, and 11,469 others

yourusername “the shoulder signifies something very important. it’s a commitment to reaching out, checking in, making sure everybody is okay. it’s a small gesture with a very big impact— the impact being that kindness is cool.”

on august 3rd, trevor participated in the shoulder check showcase for the HT40 foundation post being drafted first overall for said showcase!

he was captain of team moulson (the black jerseys!), scored the eighth goal for the team with a pass from my good friend nesty! the fifth slide is his celly where the damn fool kissed his stick. (this was post him failing at the michigan about nine million times) (it’s your signature move, babe. get it together.)

🚨he also committed the only crime of the night!🚨(the refs didn’t penalize him and i’m guessing that was just to keep the fast pace going) (the crowd had other opinions) (so did i) what was the crime? HE TRIPPED CHRIS KREIDER! aka his summer training partner! don’t worry though! he was belittled at dinner with chris and i AND i made him sit in the bathroom for two minutes to account for his crimes<3

sorry you lost in a shootout, my love! but you missed two shootout goals so this is all your fault, captain!

thank you, father zegras, for being a founding board members for the HT40 foundation and being a huge part in this cause. as someone who has struggled in the past, the work that this foundation does really means a lot to me.

p.s. i loved seeing shatty/mom, nesty, sonny, and spencer! i’ve missed you guys! mwah!

remember besties: reach out, check in, and make contact. because kindness is a contact sport🩵

tagged trevorzegras and theshouldercheck

view all 433 comments

trevorzegras i’m so proud of you for all that you’ve overcome❤️ i love you, forever

yourusername i love you, always, z-baby❤️ (except when you make me cry like rn ihy)

trevorzegras i’m not taking it back! p.s. tackling me for a hug is not what was meant!

yourusername kindness is a contact sport and i chose football <3

trevorzegras can’t you choose any other sport?

yourusername i could choose water polo and drown you out of love

trevorzegras football it is!

yourusername kisses can be my field goals!

trevorzegras what about your two point conversions?

yourusername foreplay!

jamie.drysdale @/yourusername @/trevorzegras don’t play football in front of me

_quinnhughes @/yourusername @/trevorzegras i don’t think you two gave water polo enough thought

user42 he really tripped that old man… so trevor zegras of him

_quinnhughes you forgot to mention that when he called me to have you let him out you turned his penalty into a five minute major

yourusername two minutes for snitching->📦

_quinnhughes you’re in stamford?

yourusername update: i facetimed quinn and screamed until he sat in the bathroom

trevorzegras update: i’m giving her a penalty for screaming

yourusername update: trevor has a penalty for attempting to give me a penalty

trevorzegras update: kisses got me out early

_quinnhughes update: i hate you both

yourusername update: quinn has a double minor

yourusername update: jacky boy has two minutes just because

jackhughes update: i’m looking for a new soulmate

user6 the fact that if the refs were calling penalties z wouldn’t been starting the season with -1 games since his last penalty 😭

jackhughes strongest girl i know alert!

yourusername pls don’t make me emotional online i have a reputation to uphold mr. “heart not boobs”

lhughes_06 @/yourusername accept that you’re basically wonder woman

yourusername @/lhughes_06 accept that miley cyrus’s song wonder woman makes that comment 1000x more emo for me

jackhughes @/yourusername accept that you’re loved (despite the speech comment)

lhughes_06 @/yourusername very loved

_quinnhughes @/yourusername extremely loved

yourusername @/jackhughes @/lhughes_06 @_quinnhughes i love you all too! now stop before i sob!

user17 tell trevor thank you for signing my brother’s forehead! he was so happy!

chriskreider19 thanks for having z pay for his crimes against me!

yourusername ur so welcome thank you for feeding us occasionally!

trevorzegras please don’t thank her this has now become a common thing

yourusername @/trevorzegras mwah!

shattdeuces i’ve missed you, daughter! i’ll miss your post roadies gift bags next season!

yourusername you’ll get one when you play the ducks next season! i’ll start fires to give it to you if i have to!

shattdeuces just don’t get caught!

yourusername i never do! i’m a stealthy ninja

trevorzegras @/yourusername i’ve been catching you from falling since we were sixteen i’m not sure that qualifies as “stealthy”

yourusername @/trevorzegras that’s all part of my elaborate plan to never be caught when it’s important. no one will see it coming. my clumsiness is an act.

jackhughes @/yourusername an act that started at five years old?

yourusername @/jackhughes yes!

user4 announcers before the game started: we might see trevor do the michigan in person tonight! trevor: *attempts and fails 3 times*

_alexturcotte yeah babe! it’s your signature move! get it together! @/trevorzegras

trevorzegras don’t tell me what to do

yourusername @/trevorzegras get it together!

trevorzegras @/yourusername …yes dear

_alexturcotte @/trevorzegras I’VE KNOWN YOU LONGER DO I MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?!

yourusername @_alexturcotte jealousy isn’t a good color on you

trevorzegras @_alexturcotte ily babe

_alexturcotte @/trevorzegras ilym babe

yourusername @/trevorzegras ten minute major for infidelity!

trevorzegras @/yourusername worth it

user66 I CAN HEAR THE FIRST PICTURE 😭

jamie.drysdale i fully expect to be tackled next time i see you ms. “i choose football”

yourusername trevor will want to ask us to get a room because I MISS YOU SO BAD JAMIE BABY

trevorzegras @/yourusername what do you plan to do?!?!

jamie.drysdale I MISS YOU TOO

yourusername I LOVE YOU WITH MY WHOLE BUTT

jamie.drysdale I LOVE YOU TOO YOU WEIRDO

trevorzegras @/yourusername WHAT DO YOU PLAN TO DO?!?!?!

yourusername @/trevorzegras commit infidelity

trevorzegras @/yourusername ten minute misconduct

yourusername @/trevorzegras worth it

jamie.drysdale @/trevorzegras technically she was my wife first

trevorzegras @/jamie.drysdale ejected from the game

yourusername @/trevorzegras hold up you can commit infidelity and i can’t?!

trevorzegras @/yourusername correct

yourusername @/trevorzegras misogyny at its finest. you’re kicked out of our mojo dojo casa house.

jamie.drysdale @/trevorzegras ejected? nah. evicted.

trevorzegras update: i’m now homeless

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras you’re not living with me this time

user97 this game just made me miss hockey more

slknight35 you wouldn’t ever give me a penalty right?

yourusername never. you and coley can do no wrong ever. and if you do, i’ll cover it up or take the fall. i’ll kill for you. i’ll sell trevor. i love you.

slknight35 i forgot that you’re so violently endearing😂 i love you too

jackhughes @/slknight35 she’s gotten worse since high school

colecaufield @/yourusername i love you best friend number two!

slknight35 @/jackhughes that’s terrifying

yourusername @/slkight35 yes i am <3

yourusername @/colecaufield I AIN’T GONNA EVER STOP LOVING YOU B(est) (fr)I(end) (number) T(wo) CH

colecaufield @/yourusername you ain’t slick

jackhughes @/yourusername but you are cringe

yourusername @/jackhughes bitch <3

yourusername in hopes that this comes up as a top comment for someone: you are all so loved. every single one of you. thank you for all the support that you give me, the boys, and to all the other teams, players, and their families that you share your love to. check in on your friends. even the ones that always seem to be the happiest person around. spread love, spread hope, and spread kindness🩵 mwah!

#penalty box series #penalty box series: bonus editions #trevor zegras #trevor zegras au #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras imagine #trevor zegras insta edit #trevor zegras x hughes reader #jack hughes #quinn hughes #luke hughes #jamie drysdale #cole caufield #spencer knight #hockey imagine #nhl imagine

[justmeinadaze]

Hi! I have this really REALLY angsty request that if you don’t want to do it okay, but since you’ve posted things with a similar theme I thought maybe you could write it.

So it’s similar to the pop star!reader x bodyguard!steddie, but this is just regular them Ig? So reader overdoses with some of Eddie’s stuff, and when the boys arrive, Eddie kinda gets flashbacks from when his mom overdosed. I’m just really a craver for angst, hurt, comfort fics

Thank you so much! I love your stuff!!🤍🤍

Steddie Asks/ Ko-Fi <3

Warning: Dark themes of drugs and overdosing, all three discuss an incident where the reader overdoses

The table is silent as you and your boyfriends pick at the food they had purchased after bringing you home from the hospital. Having grown accustomed to the balanced meal they provided, you were struggling to fully get through the heavy pasta in front of you. 

You hated this; the weighted energy that hung in the air. 

You would give anything to go back to how things used to be when you, Steve, and Eddie could just laugh and have fun but a line had been forever crossed. Trust broken in that one moment when you snuck into the metalhead’s things and found drugs that weren’t meant for you especially after you promised things were going to be different. 

“I know! I’m sorry! I don’t mean to go overboard. Everything is just so overwhelming and it helps me…breathe. I promise, I’ll slow down. I’ll get clean, I swear.”

You meant it at the time and every time after when you talked yourself out of buying a new supply. But when you were fired from your job for seemingly no reason, you needed to numb your brain. 

“Just one more.”, you had told yourself.

One more turned into another hit and then another…and another…until a couple of days later you woke up in an emergency room with your boyfriends clinging to your hands. 

“Do you want me to make you something?”

“Huh?”

“You’ve barely touched your food. If you don’t want it I can make you something else.”, Steve explains as his eyes scan you over. 

“Oh, um, no. I’m ok. I’m just not very hungry, I guess.” He nodded without saying another and you felt like you were going to explode. “How long are we going to do this?”

“Do what, honey?”

“Avoid the topic of what happened.”

“We don’t need to talk about that now.”, Eddie mumbled without even looking your way.

“I’d like to. I’d prefer it over this.” Neither man said anything as they continued to stare in front of them at their food. “Come on, guys. Yell, scream, throw things; I don’t fucking care just…talk to me.”

“Not right now.”, the metalhead repeated in a firmer tone. 

“When then, Ed?”

“Whenever Eddie chooses it seems.”, the other boy sassed throwing you off guard slightly. You half expected any hostility to be directed towards you but the way Steve said that…he was angry at his friend as well.

“Well go on. Out with it, Harrington. You’ve been fucking passive aggressive since we got to the hospital. Just fucking get it out, man.”

“Oh, it’s ok now? Now you’ll fucking listen to me. You didn’t listen to me when I asked you not to keep any drugs in this fucking apartment!”

“I didn’t expect her to dig through my things!”

“She’s an addict, you fucking idiot!”

“HEY!”, you shouted as Eddie rose from his chair, knocking it down behind him. “I said talk, not be mean. This isn’t his fault.”

“No, you’re right. It’s both your faults. I asked him not to bring drugs here because you were trying to get better, Y/N, but you were still struggling. I saw it every day you came home! You were always one step away from fucking breaking but you never said anything! Why!? Why didn’t you talk to us or hell even a doctor?! I don’t fucking care!”

“I didn’t know how…”

“Oh, fucking bullshit!”

“Because I didn’t want to burden you two! That’s all I fucking am! You both have enough going on than to deal with me.”

“So, this was better? Us finding you on the fucking bedroom floor?!” At Steve’s words, Eddie crossed his arms as he hugged himself tightly; the memory of that day hitting them both. “Did you think when we found you barely breathing, we thought ‘Oh thank God. One less problem.’? Or when we watched EMS poke and prod your pale, sweaty skin that we were thankful you did this instead of coming to us? That we would be proud that you feel better numbing yourself with that shit than being open with the men you supposedly love?!”

In anger, he flipped the dining room table making you jump and stand as everything crashed to the ground. The former jock had been holding this in for weeks and now that the flood gates had been opened, he couldn’t stop them. 

“I thought you were gonna die. You didn’t see what we saw, Y/N. All the color was gone from your face and you were so sticky with sweat…I’ll never forget that smell… You didn’t move or answer us. When EMS arrived, they were shouting a lot but the thing that stood out was ‘She’s not breathing.’”

Eddie’s own breathing stuttered and when you glanced his way you realized he was trying to control the tears that had begun to fall. 

“They asked what you took but when we told them we didn’t know but we know your history and they suggested what it could have been, I knew from his face it was something Munson brought in. I almost fucking killed him, Y/N.”

“Steve—”

“No. I’m not exaggerating or anything like that. It took all of my energy to not beat the shit out of him right then and there.”

“You think I don’t do that already?”, the metalhead growled. “You think I don’t fucking beat myself for what happened?! I stopped dealing the moment we found out about her vices. I gave Rick back everything I had because I knew that temptation would be hard for her. He needed someone to hold onto his stuff for a couple of days because Rick expected his PO to make a surprise visit. Steve, I swear to God, I didn’t think she would… I trusted her…”

After drying his eyes, Eddie squared his shoulders towards you both. 

“Maybe that was naive but she was getting better. That’s our problem, Harrington. I trust her too much and you don’t trust her at all!”

“I don’t and this is exactly the reason why!”

“I understand.” Your tiny voice cuts through their fury giving them pause. “When I get low like I did and the craving hits… it’s like being in a black hole I can’t crawl out of. I didn’t think about how my choice would affect either of you but especially Eddie. All I could think about was how I just needed the pain to stop. I am so fucking sorry. I-I-I understand if you want to take a break or some time away from me while I deal with this. I just—”

Steve cuts you off by stepping over the contents on the floor and yanking you to his chest. 

“You’re doing it again, honey. You don’t have to face this alone. We’re here to help you every step of the way.”

“Just because we’re upset with you doesn’t mean we stopped loving you.”, Eddie added before wrapping his arm around you both. “I’m sorry, Steve. I really am.”

“I forgive you. It’s going to take some time but we can get this and become better together.”

“I love you both so much and I’m so sorry for scaring you. Even if it takes my whole life I’ll make it up to you.”, you pledge as your voice is slightly muffled by the chest in front of you.

“Baby, all we want is for you to be happy. That’s all we’ve ever wanted.” Nodding, you push your face into the metalhead’s warm embrace as Steve released the two of you to pick up the table and the mess he had made. “Y/N, you remind me a lot of my mother. You are beautiful, funny, and sweet almost to a fault but when we found you… you were unresponsive like her… My dad abandoned her long before she passed but I promise, sweetheart, we’ll be right here with you every step of the way. You’re not alone.”

After kissing your forehead, Eddie knelt down to help his friend and both boys exchange a small smile before you follow his decent to help to. 

“Oh, Y/N, we got this—”

“Together, Steve. Any kind of chaos or situation life throws our way we handle it together.”

#steddie #steve and eddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things #joe keery #joseph quinn #fan fiction #steddie fic #steddie angst #dark!fic #eddie munson angst #steve harrington angst #steddie fanfiction #steddie x reader #steddie x you #steddie x y/n #steddie request #steddie ask #thank you for the request

[kickbutts-singsongs]

I know no one asked, but I have exactly zero (0) people to talk about bkdk with irl so here you guys go

My BKDK Journey

Yes, this sounds stupid, but my god it’s been almost three years of an absolute rollercoaster of feelings and denials and tears and revelations…

and if you don’t mind, I’m gonna rant about it.

(not spoiler free)

_____

May 2021

To start off, i wasn’t always a bkdk shipper.

I shipped izu*cha at first (not saying it’s a bad ship btw; it’s actually quite cute. im just afraid people’ll be mad if I accidentally invade their tag lol), primarily because I assumed that would be the ship that became canon.

But also, my veryyyyy leasttttt favorite character… was Bakugou Katsuki.

When I tell you that I would’ve loved nothing more than to somehow spawn into the bnha universe and punch that brat in the face— AGHHHHHHHHHH

Now this wasn’t all his fault: A) I watched the dub first lol, and B) he reminded me of someone that i was not in a place to stand up to at the time, and his constant anger, yelling, and harsh treatment of Izuku—who i began to relate to—made me hateeee him.

There was a time when I literally said “if he died, I wouldn’t miss him.” <- this was later proven false lol

So, I was watching the anime dub with an absolute animosity for our resident deuteragonist, but on top of that…

I was watching it with a friend with a crunchyroll account who lived in another state that I was visiting and staying with for two weeks, so by the time i had to go back home, we’d only gotten up to the part where All Might was getting Inko’s permission to let Izuku stay at the UA dorms.

Anddddddd in my drive to consume more bnha once I got home, i somehow stumbled across an Instagram account that posted bnha sub episodes divided into parts,

but they only had season four and onwards.

Sooooo I never saw the second half of season three… more importantly,

I NEVER SAW DEKU VS KACCHAN 2!!!!!

(I will say that I had seen a couple photos/edits/etc, but I never knew what had been said, or why they fought)

_____

June 2021

At this point in time, I’d been exposed to a lot of the fandom. My fyp on both IG and Pinterest were filled to the brim with all things bnha (because this is what happens when one has a hyperfixation), so I saw a lot of stuff.

Especially fanart.

This is where I started learning about the different ships.

I saw a lot of the side character ships and thought they were adorable (kamijirou, todomomo, even kiribaku), but then I saw some with Izuku.

Izu*cha was a given for me. I didn’t think there was a single person that didn’t ship it. But then I started seeing fanart of ships like tododeku, shindeku, and bakudeku.

And my first reaction to finding out that people shipped my beautiful baby sunshine boi with the person who bullied him for years?????

HELLLLLLLLLLL NO

So with my (unknowingly) limited knowledge of their relationship, i was very much an anti (i never spoke out or anything, i just reallyyyy didn’t like the ship lol)

(And then, you know, I started to see all the bkdk hate online and kinda went “okay not touching that”)

But that began to change…

_____

August 2021

…after I saw a manga leak for the first time.

I was scrolling thru my feed and all of a sudden. BOOM!

I was like 😧

IS THAT IZUKU?????

And i looked in the comments and yes it was.

I checked out the page and found that they had an entire account of manga leaks and was so happy.

I quickly began to read from the very bottom of that account, and it started from right about where Izuku first began his vigilante arc (i had no idea how much was in between then and where I left off on the anime, but I was willing to read it lol)

And so I waited diligently for the leaks every week (a practice I have continued to uphold lol), until one day, i came across an untranslated series of panels from the latest chapter. I looked at it and it was of Katsuki and Izuku, facing each other in the rain (you know the one). I knew the leaks would be coming a day later, but I wanted to look through them anyways, so I did.

I didn’t understand a word they said, but the pictures and imagery of them as kids then middle schoolers then where they were now seemed so touching…

And then I came across a pair of kanji that I recognized.

I was like “wait WHAT???”

I zoomed in and went “that— isn’t that—? That’s part of Midoriya’s name, right???”

And then I was like “wait a second… omg that’s Izuku, isn’t it. That’s the freaking kanji for Izuku.”

And it was!!!!!

So inside I’m having a mini freakout cuz—

Bakugou just called him IZUKU

Fast forward to the next day, and I looked at the translated version, and found out that not only did he call him Izuku,

He

Freaking

APOLOGIZED

And I was like “huhhhhhhh”

What happened between now and the most recent anime episodes for this to occur???? For Bakugou to do a complete 180 and apologize????????

Well, I finally got my answers…

_____

November 2021

…when I started reading the manga.

I started from the beginning, cuz I wanted to see Horikoshi’s art style and the extra drawings and all the other stuff…

And when I tell you that Katsuki became a whole new character to me—

First, I read everything about early-on Bakugou— without hearing him yell in his dub voice—and realized “oh wow he really is just a kid with issues and a worldview that he’s now having to change.”

Then, I finally read what happened in that space between moving into the dorms and the beginning of season four (most importantly, DvK2).

Cried.

Then, oh then, I got up to where season five ended and the rest of the manga began.

. . .

Funny thing: back when I read the leaks to ch322, I remember thinking to myself, “huh. what did Bakugou mean by Shigaraki making swiss cheese outta him?”

😦

THE WAY I GASPED

AND THEN CRIED

OH MY FREAKING GOD

That was the moment where i truly ceased to hate Katsuki cuz holy character development batman

Then, of course, we see them in recovery

And then the vigilante arc and apology scene *sobs*

And then I was caught up.

(Btw I finished the entire manga up ‘til ch334 in just over a week. I read for nine days straight. During the school year. My emotions were all over the place goodness gracious I could barely concentrate.)

So that’s how I went from being a Bakugou hater to going “you know what he’s a complex character and he’s slowly becoming a better person” and realizing that he was now one of my fav characters and therefore cursed to die but I’ll talk about that later

Was I now a bakudeku shipper?

Hah nope.

_____

December 2021

I began my dive into the true essence of any fandom: fanfiction.

Over the course of winter break, I had started off with fics that had no romantic pairing (I just wanted to see my boi Izuku), but then somehow stumbled across Mastermind: Strategist for Hire and then read the entirety of the For Want of a Nail series (shoutout to Clouds btw ❤️) cuz I was like “ok whew no bkdk fics” which was my mindset at the time.

But somehow (I can’t even remember how I found it) I came across a bkdk fic. It was called For Want of Izuku’s Toe Joint by Talavin (okay now that I think about it there’s probably a simple explanation lol).

I don’t quite know what compelled me to start reading it, but I did.

And I really liked it.

But not in the “I’ve been converted” kinda way.

It was like an “I shouldn’t be enjoying this why am I enjoying this?” kinda feeling. Like my head says no but my heart says yeah.

A really really really really guilty pleasure.

So, from that day on, whenever I came across any form of bkdk media, I would simultaneously feel discomfort and yet an odd sense of satisfaction.

A snippet of my daily life:

Me: *comes across bkdk fanart on pinterest*

Me: eww

Also me: *stares at it for like five minutes straight*

Me: who even likes this?

Also me: *saves pin to my mha board*

Me: not my ship

Also me: *scrolls down to more like this*

Bless my heart I was in such denial.

_____

July 2022

Bit of a timeskip, but nothing of note really happened in those last six months so here we go.

We’ve gotten to the point in the manga where the final arc is underway and Bakugou is about to KICK SOME BUTT

He’s revealed his Panser Strafe support item and I’m gushing about it to my friend (she kinda fell out of the fandom but still tolerated my rants bless her)

Oh, side note: it was then that I also expressed my concern for Bakugou’s “alive” status

Evidence:

For reference, some of my favorite characters are:

Beth March (Little Women)

John Reese (Person of Interest)

Joss Carter (Person of Interest)

Leonard Snart (Arrowverse)

Logan Echolls (Veronica Mars)

Fantine (Les Mis)

Eponine (Les Mis)

Jean Valjean (Les Mis)

Simon (Lord of the Flies)

Piggy (Lord of the Flies)

Grace Stone (Manifest)

Bubaigawara Jin — Twice (BNHA)

Wanna guess which of these guys died?

Trick question! It’s all of them (:

Yeah so anyways those following chapters really made me excited and nervous cuz YEAH KICK HIS ASS BAKUGOU but also IZUKUUUUU WE NEED YOU

hah hah.

_____

August 2022

Utterly gobsmacked. Cried. Disbelief. Horrified. Confusion. Anger. Went through the five stages of grief and then some.

Sometimes I hate being right 🥲

But the good thing that came from this was that my positive view of Katsuki only grew after seeing his utter faith in Izuku (and his thoughts being on him in his final moments???? 🥺🥺🥺)

And it was at this point in time where I could admit to myself “you know what? i see it. i see the appeal. i wouldn’t mind this actually becoming canon.”

Did I think that it would actually become canon?? No.

_____

September 2022

I don’t know how I thought Izuku was gonna react to seeing Katsuki’s body on the ground, but GOOD LORD IT WASNT THAT

Even sweet little blind me realized “oh wow he like really feels intense stuff for Katsuki huh”

(But some things I missed—cuz I was still a bit wired for izu*cha—were shigarakis implications “yeah u looooove the present I got u” and the freaking HEART that blackwhip caused??? when Izuku reeled himself back in???? like how did i miss that i read that chapter like fifteen times??)

So this is all to say that I’ve missed any and all actual bkdk hints up until this point. I finally lifted my head out of the izu*cha fog when…

_____

July 2023

…Ochako and Toga had their chat about romance.

The first actual hint was when Ochako had told Toga “I’ll give you my blood for the rest of my life.”

Little blind me became a bit less blind that day, cuz I was like “um. ochako? that— that sounded kinda like a proposal. like. a marriage proposal. ochako??”

And then those chapters just kept getting better!!

Bebe Ochako’s determination???

The Spirited Away moment?????

“I’m envious of your smile”????????

“YOU REALLY THINK IM CUTE?” “THE CUTEST IN THE WHOLE WORLD” LIKE 😭😭😭😭😭

For the first time, I was looking at the manga without the assumption that izu*cha would be endgame. And it only got better after I…

_____

August 2023

…got Tumblr!!!

Everything was downhill from here folks.

In the best possible way.

I came across some analyses of what was going on with togachako, and consequently led me to some bakudeku analyses. I read them and my goodness they made so much sense.

Like not even just personality-wise!! Those metas brought in actual things Horikoshi said about wanting to go outside the norms of shounen (and about not liking the Naruto ending 💀), and compared bkdk to tropes in different works of fiction, and even discussed how bkdk made sense narratively. They properly convinced me of the ship.

And then for good measure, I reread the manga in its entirety thru a bkdk filter, and lo and behold things took on new meanings and my eyes were opened.

I totally and irrevocably shipped them! And I actually thought they had a chance at being canon!!

(And then I binged so much bkdk fanfiction omg you wouldn’t BELIEVE like I read the ones with the highest kudos first and then just picked the biggest collections I could find and read down the line

It was like being on drugs like each fic gave me more dopamine than the last I was so happy oh my god)

_____

October 2023

And then finally, the day came.

The answer to “is bakugou alive yet?” became a yes.

We screamed. We cried. We jumped for joy. We told bakugou antis to suck it. But most of all, our bkdk hearts soared to see our boys make eye contact with each other for the first time in over a year 🥹

And from that moment on, I truly began to believe that bkdk would indeed become canon.

_____

And so, this concludes my 42672288 page rant about how I came to be a bkdk shipper.

Thank you for reading, and before I go, I want to ask:

How did you guys get into bkdk?

Did you convert over from izu*cha? Or perhaps tododeku? Or maybe kiribaku? Or are you one of the few who have shipped them since the beginning??

In any case, I’m happy you’re here. And while it may have taken me a couple years, I’m happy that I’m here too :)

(and thank you @animelover32456)

#this may just be me screaming into the void #but at least it’s out there #bnha #mha #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bakudeku #bkdk #my bkdk journey #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #my thoughts #and also I’m going to admit without admitting that I might or might not have made some ocs a mere two months after I started bnha… #and the two leads were very much bkdk coded 💀 #I was going to make a next gen au and so over the course of two years I carefully crafted 20 students (names personalities and quirks) #and I had some cool villains #honestly some of my quirk ideas were awesome #maybe one day I’ll post some of them… we’ll see #but if anyone asks if I ever made any ocs NO I DIDNT #🎶song sings🎶

[hey-kae]

Hi! I absolutely love your works✨✨ and I would like to ask you for an OS angst 😢 where Charles and reader end the relationship because of hate and comments on social media. I don't know whether to end with a happy or sad ending, that's your choice 🥰.

Hate and Love

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x reader

Warnings: the chaos that was japan, slight implication about Charles thinking of Jules’ accident, panic attack, talk of weight and body image, needs more proofreading.

a/n: i don’t think i’m that good with the whole hate trope as i struggle to write it without feeling like it’s turning out cringey, what explains how long this took me to write and i’m still not satisfied with it. But it’s yours to judge now ig…

When you've been swinging a hammer repeatedly over a frail sheet of glass, it's it going to shatter it. There is no way around that fact.

When you keep throwing insults at a human being, you're going to break them.

Whether these things are your intentions or not doesn't change the outcome.

Rarely do we ever see any exceptions for clear and particular reasons. Everything has a reaction or consequence that is to some degree, inescapable.

The crack in the glass made itself loud and clear on the weekend of the Japanese Grand Prix.

Excited about having some time off that would allow you to support Charles on the double header of Singapore and Japan and getting to see such beautiful and unique places, you had decided to accompany him on his two week trip, not wanting to waste any opportunity to spend highly valuable time with him.

The Singapore Grand Prix went okay and by the end of the weekend, the bags were packed and you headed to the airport with Charles.

On the lengthy flight, Charles fell asleep with his head resting on your shoulder, and it honestly didn't matter how long the two of you had been dating, long enough that you had a sparkling ring sitting on your finger, the sight of that and the feel of his soft brown hair tickling your neck and cheek quickly caused your heart to race. If anything, that was just another proof of how much this man meant to you, how much you devotedly loved him.

Wanting to secure the memory in your head and into existence, you fished your phone out of your bag without moving much so you wouldn't disturb him, and you quickly snapped a selfie that showed half your face, mainly focusing at the much cherished sight of your asleep fiance.

The picture was adorable. Charles looked so cozy and at peace.

You were smiling at your phone screen, debating whether or not you should share such a harmless picture with the world.

There lies the conflict.

If any of your social media accounts had been somewhat "normal", you would've posted it without any second thoughts like you'd done with previous boyfriends you had. Sharing occasional pictures of your relationship for your friends and family to see was something that should've felt natural, and it did feel like that in the past.

Then, Charles came along.

He was somewhat of a celebrity.

You knew that since the very first time you hung out with him. If anything, that was the only thing about him that made you reluctant about getting into a relationship with him. People's huge interest in him would inevitably transfer to his partner.

As you had expected, dating Charles reformed your understanding of social media. It was no longer a source of entertainment but a business place, a space for profit and advertising and never in your life have you wanted that to be the way you used social platforms.

Suddenly, everyone was so interested in your everyday life to the point where there was accounts literally dedicated to finding out where you bought each outfit from and while it was funny for a while, you were quick to realize that the whole influencer lifestyle was in no way your cup of tea.

It didn't help that anytime you shared anything that had merely any connection to Charles, your DMs flooded with message requests and your notifications got crowded with replies and comments. One night, out of sheer boredom while Charles snored beside you in bed, you went through some messages. From that point on, there was no return route, and it sure didn't help that the engagement shone a brighter light on your relationship and how serious it was, causing the hate to double.

While some of the messages were overwhelmingly sweet, some were also overwhelmingly cruel and inconsiderate.

You promised yourself that you wouldn't let these things affect you nor the beautiful and genuine connection you had with Charles, that you wouldn't even check the messages and comments again in the first place.

But as the saying goes, curiosity killed the cat.

It turned into a repeated pattern, a compulsion you couldn't get rid of.

Therefore, you continued staring at the picture, you thumb hovering over the share button until Charles startled you.

"Tout va bien, bébé?" Everything's okay, baby?

You locked your phone and let it fall onto your lap before assuring him that everything was okay.

"Oui, cheri. Tout est bien." Yes, darling. Everything is okay. You smiled, wrapping one arm around him and allowing your head to rest on his, your eyes closing as you attempted to push out all the negative things and remarks, redirecting your focus onto the man by your side.

That position didn't hit the minute mark since Charles moved so he was sat a bit more upright and pulled you close to him so your head rested on his chest, his arm around your back while he looked down at you through half opened eyes.

"Tu sais bien que tu peux me dire n'importe quoi, n'est ce pas?" You know that you can tell me anything, right? He reassured, sensing that something about the way you were behaving was not quite right.

"Oui, je sais cela. I promise you, there's nothing worth mentioning." Yeah, i know that... You replied and tilted your head up to press a quick kiss onto his cheek.

With that, he let the subject go, ignoring the instinctive feeling in his chest telling him to make sure that everything was alright but he had no concrete proof that anything was going wrong so he forced himself to push the suspicions to the back of him mind.

That was supposed to be the end of that issue. You promised yourself to actually act normally and not allow stupid comments and remarks to taint your relationship with Charles.

It said a lot that you were engaged to Charles. You literally wanted to marry him, you saw your future with him and at this point, you couldn't really imagine a life without him by your side so you found it unreasonable and just plain idiotic to allow strangers who lived cities and countries away to interfere between him and you.

However, as the weekend processed and pictures of you with Charles popped up on the internet, that last thought seemed to be morphing. All you wanted was an escape, a break from the judgmental critics and the suspicious fans overanalyzing every move and post you made. With every passing hour, you were reminded why you rarely ever showed your relationship with Charles publicly and openly.

People knew you existed and they knew that you and Charles were engaged but when they aren't reminded of that, they tend to ease up a little bit on you. Therefore, it goes without saying that the opposite had been happening during those two weeks.

After qualifying, having watched the session from the pit box since Charles asked you to, you posted a quick shot of him as he was being photographed with Max and Carlos. You hadn't thought the post through, just supporting for your fiancé and wanting to share that openly. But as you laid sleepless in bed, the jet lag getting to you after Charles passed out of exhaustion, you realized that was a mistake.

Your DMs were flooded with messages, some positive and some negative but it seemed like you couldn't bring yourself to focus on the love you were getting, not when the opposing words were so cruel, hitting quite close to home.

People were going on and on about how you were like Charles' shadow. To them, it looked like you wouldn't let him breathe, that you followed him everywhere and limited his freedom.

Apparently, you were insecure about the relationship and you were essentially following him across the planet not to support him, but to supervise his actions, as if you would've agreed to marry a man you didn't trust.

Not only were they speculating about the relationship, the comments about your body were downright disturbing under some of the photos captured when you were spotted around the paddock. There were pictures of you eating and the comments under them were disgusting. Even the compliments were worded so crudely that it made your skin crawl as you read through them.

But what hurt the most is people saying you weren't enough, that you weren't worthy of dating someone like Charles, that you were forcing him to commit, that you were using him for fame when in reality, you hated every bit of unnecessary attention you got through dating him.

Everyone was preaching about the way he could do so much better, posting pictures of his exes and comparing your looks to theirs.

Looking through these messages and comments was overwhelming, even suffocating to a certain extent but for some reason, you couldn't put the phone down.

Does she have to always be there?!

Is it just me or is she gaining weight?

I wish Charles would wake up and see why she's really dating him

It's giving... attention seeker

ngl his ex was prettier and they were a cuter couple

The remarks went on and on and you lost yourself in the masses of words that night, forgetting where you were, forgetting that Charles was asleep right beside you, forgetting how much he loves you and how he always went out of his way to remind you of that. Your thoughts were hypnotized by strangers online and you couldn't think of anything else other than what you were reading, not even the words that made you cry when Charles had said them to you the night he went from being your boyfriend to being your fiancé.

You didn't even realize you were crying but the hot tears dropped onto your pajama pants when you sat up in a hurry, gasping for air.

You couldn't breathe properly, your lungs felt like they were collapsing, your hands were freezing and shaking out of control until the words on the screen of your phone and the pictures of Charles hugging you after qualifying turned into a streaky blur of colors that you couldn't even comprehend.

You needed a quick escape, some fresh air but you felt stranded, in a unfamiliar country where you had no idea about where you could go.

Suddenly, you were too aware of the sheets covering your body and even that felt too heavy to be bearable.

With wobbling legs, you pushed off the covers and stumbled onto your feet, even in this state making sure that Charles was still covered.

Nothing felt alright.

You felt like you were loosing it and instead of considering waking Charles up, you thanked god he was in deep slumber.

Tunnel vision took over, making the room darker and smaller than it already was. Your heart felt heavy in your chest. You could hear the rush of blood in your ears. Your body was tingling like if was going numb. Your throat felt dry and tight. Your tears were streaming out of control. You were was having chills all over as you broke out in a cold sweat. The loud noise from the street by the hotel felt so distant but somehow, the sound of Charles breathing was deafeningly loud.

You felt like you were loosing control.

With absolutely no clue of how you made it out of the bedroom, you burst through the balcony door, longing for a fresh breeze, the chilly night air feeling like it was waking up every nerve in your body.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck..." you kept mumbling as you allowed yourself to fall into the floor, hugging your knees to your chest as you finally broke into sobs instead of the panicked, silent cries.

You were never confident growing up, always the calm sister, the shy cousin but really, you were insecure. For years, you worked on yourself until you finally got yourself to participate in social settings, to meet new people. Hell, it took years until you stopped reaching for a pillow to put in your lap every time you sat down, until you could walk in public without crossing your arms in front of you, until you found it in yourself to wear anything you wanted, until you could laugh without covering your mouth.

Therefore, it was undeniable that when you were met with such remarks, every past wound was reopened, and to be fair, the energy it took for you to build yourself into a confident woman was one you didn't have at the moment. You couldn't afford to go down that rabbit hole again. Once in your life was already too much.

You looked out onto the bright city lights, one striking thought now torturing your mind.

Charles.

Charles in your life meant curious eyes and endless criticism. There is no way around that unless he hid you from the world for evermore, and you weren't naïve enough to believe that would be possible, not if you wanted to marry him proudly and have your own little family with him.

That's when your heart broke and the sobs got ten times worse while your opposite hand wrapped around the diamond ring on your finger.

The man asleep a few feet away from you was everything you'd ever wished for.

He was the prince charming that you dreamt of finding back when you were a toddler watching princess movies, beaming over happy endings and escaping on a white horse. Charles was the one who satisfied that little girl's dreams during adult days that felt endless and hopeless and so painfully dull.

Middle school you who described the man she'd marry years down the road in excessive details in her diary would be in disbelief to see Charles exceeding all the impossibly high expectations she set, even after she ditched them when she was forced to face the real world.

He was perfect and you loved him beyond words, more than you ever thought was possible and you were just so ready to have it that way until forever and a day, until you grew old with his hand in yours.

Countless times, you imagined your wedding, the days after it, the look on Charles' face. You imagined having kids with him, watching him become a father and being the amazing dad you knew for sure he would be, holding the children you'd have and teaching them how to do anything and everything, maybe even how to race. Every detail that you were so sure would become true at some point had passed through your mind so many times, sending your kids to school, watching them grow up with the love of your life right by your side for it all, sharing every moment, milestone and event with Charles, happy or sad.

You wanted everything with him, the good and the bad.

But then, the image of the teenager you once were, stood timidly in front of the mirror, hating what she saw took over. You remembered when you didn't have the confidence to even present a project in school, when every little critic tore you apart and broke you to pieces.

The future was pushed right out of your mind as you let the past take over, dread washing over you like frozen water as you realized just how easily this situation you were in could drive you back to your old ways.

As the memory of crying your nights away and fearing the days came resurfaced, the face of younger you, so hopeful and full of life flashed in your mind and that was when you realized you couldn't fail her, no matter how flawless your relationship with Charles was, it was still breaking you.

As you came to the realization, the cries became too loud and even from your spot on the balcony, you were afraid to wake Charles up. You clasped your hand over your mouth, muffling the sobs and gasps, your eyes screwing shut as you struggled to catch your breath, the tears falling out of your eyes heavy and uncontrollable.

You couldn't afford waking him up right now, facing his gentle looks and caring words but No matter how quiet you attempted to be, it didn't work.

"Cherie," Charles' worried toned startled you, making you fumble to wipe away the tears, "what is happening?" He asked, crouching down in front of you immediately.

His hair was ruffled and messy. He was barefoot and was messily but warmly dressed for bed. His eyes were hazy with sleep and barely opened while his hands grabbed yours to pull them away from your face.

He was a bit too caring and it made everything hurt so much more.

Through your burning eyes and clouded vision, you glanced up at him adoringly while your heart shattered into a million tiny shards.

"I love you so much, Charlie." You sobbed, reaching over and hugging him as tight as you could.

Instantly, his hands were rubbing up and down your back, trying so desperately to comfort you, but he had no clue what was going on and he was too sleepy not to be confused.

"I love you so much as well." He kissed the top of your head, "mais tu veux me dire qu'est-ce qui se passe, mon amour?" but you wanna tell me what’s happening? He asked with the softest voice, taking advantage of the way your arms were wrapped around his neck to slip his hands under you and carry you back inside to the comfortable bed where he could hold you properly.

Once he had you wrapped in a cozy hug on the mattress, he got you to look at him and his heart plummeted at the sight of your swollen eyes.

"Oh, baby." He cooed, wiping the last of your tears off your cheeks with his thumbs, "What happened?"

You felt like you could crumble under his worried looks, immensely dreading tomorrow as your eyes looked with his.

"I don't know." You attempted to push out a chuckle but Charles knew you too much.

He got you to lay your head on his chest and began brushing his fingers through your hair, thinking about what could be the reason you were crying that hard.

"Honnêtement? Je n'te crois pas. You were crying so hard, bébé..." Honestly? I don’t believe you. You were crying so hard, baby…

The heavy concern lacing his still hoarse voice was too much and you could've lied to him, came up with an excuse for the breakdown you had but you couldn't do that, not to someone you loved so much.

"I just - i don't know, cheri. Je n'veux pas en parler maintenant." I don’t want to talk about it right now. You felt Charles nod. He knew he couldn't force you to talk about something you didn't want to discuss but he wasn't gonna be at ease, not knowing why you were so upset, not able to help you through it.

"D'accord..." Okay. he said, closing his tired eyes, "Demain après la course donc?" Tomorrow after the race then?

"Ouais. Demain." Your heart ached at that. Yeah, tomorrow.

With that last promise to discuss the issue tomorrow, Charles allowed himself to relax for now, hugging you close but making sure he wouldn't be falling asleep before you.

Meanwhile your mind raced with thoughts of your plans. You couldn't help but fear that Charles would think you don't love him anymore after he would find out what you did.

"Charles..." you waited for him to look at you, "Tu sais bien que je ne mens jamais quand je te dis que je t'aimerais jusqu'à mon dernier souffle, n'est-ce pas? Promets-moi de ne jamais oublier cela” You know that i will love you until my last breath, right? Promise me to never forget that.

"Alright, baby... I don't like the sound of that. Why are you saying it like this?" He lifted his head off the pillow to look at you, his hand stilling in your hair as he tried understanding what you meant by that, especially when you were crying minutes ago, when your body was still shaking against his.

"Please tell me what's going on." He asked again, the worry and dread in his chest increasing with every word you said.

"There's really nothing going on. I just want to remind you of how much i love you." You said with a sniffle, your eyes clouding again with tears that were threatening to spill again.

"I really don't believe you, not when i'm not understanding anything at all." He sat up a bit, unable to shake the uneasy feeling he had now.

"Charles, please. On a dit qu'on en  parlera plus tard et tu dois vraiment dormir car il est deja très tard et tu dois te réveiller tôt demain matin. S'il te plait, laisse ça tomber au moment." We said we’ll talk about it later and you really need to sleep because it’s already so late and you have to wake up early tomorrow. Please, let it go right now.

Sighing, he reached for the bedside lamp and turned it off, clearly not happy about this situation and making that clear to you by turning the other way and pulling the sheets right up to his neck.

You couldn't help but bite the inside of your cheek at that, feeling the tears welling up in your eyes.

"Charlie, please don't be upset. Je t'aime." I love you. You rolled onto your side, facing his back, hiding your face against it and hugging his waist as the tears started falling again.

“Bonne nuit.” Good night. He mumbled as a reply but you never let go of him, no matter how many minutes had passed.

You listened to the sound you were most grateful for, the soft thud of his heartbeat, letting it cut you deeper and harder because you were so hell bent on the fact that you deserved this pain, and once you thought he had went back to sleep, you allowed the quiet sobs and sniffles out, holding on tighter to the man you loved so deeply.

But Charles was everything but asleep. He felt your arms tighten around his waist, felt your hands clutching onto him for dear life. He heard you crying and laid there for a while, going over the past day in his head a hundred different times, desperately trying to understand what had unworldly upset you and crushed you this bad until his heart started feeling heavy with every sob that met his ears and at that point, he no longer felt like insisting on finding out what had happened. He just wanted to comfort you.

He sighed heavily and turned to face you, immediately bringing you to hide in his chest and between his sheltering arms, his hand on the back of your head securing you into this position that he knew you found so comforting.

The gesture only made you cry harder, this time the sounds muffled by having Charles so close.

"Shh, bébé." He kissed the top of your head while his heart felt like it was being torn apart, "I've got you, mon amour. Calm down."

That night you fell asleep for one singular reason and that way your eyes burning beyond comprehension, forcing you into slumber. Once your tensed body relaxed in Charles hold, he realized that you just exhausted yourself into sleep and that fact alone brought him so close to crying himself. However, he wasn't an idiot. He was well aware he shouldn't be staying up any longer, that he couldn't risk not being able to drive at a 100% in the conditions expected for the race, so he allowed his eyes to fall shut while making sure he had you held as close as possible.

__

When you woke up next morning, you were alone in bed and as soon as you checked your phone for the Japanese time, you realized why. The race was starting in less than two hours and you were still asleep.

With a worrying scowl on your face, you got up and headed for the bathroom, still trying to make sense of why Charles hadn't woken you up earlier. In the mirror over the sink, there was an unpleasant reminder of yesterday night: swollen under-eyes as your reflection's most prominent feature and even you couldn't help but to stare as you brushed your teeth.

Once done with that, you went back into the bedroom and found a note taped onto the closet door.

I didn't have the heart to wake you up cause you looked so tired but there is a key to a rental by your purse if you still want to go to the race. (I texted you a picture of which car it is.)

Je t'aime fort.

Without a second thought, you pulled on a pair of loose jeans, a cozy sweatshirt that belonged to charles and some shoes, grabbed an additional jacket, your purse and pass along with the keys Charles left you, applied some makeup to hide your swollen eyes and headed for the track, knowing that you weren't selfish enough to not even show your face at such an emotionally charged race for Charles.

It was pouring as you drove to the circuit so you put on your jacket, pulled the hood on and made a run for Charles' garage, hoping you'll catch him before he has to line up on the grid and you did but just barely.

As soon as he saw you coming up to him, his face brightened and he smiled. However, his eyes scanned over you as if to make sure you were alright.

"Good luck!" You attempted an enthusiastic tone after he had greeted you with a quick peck.

"Thank you. Tout vas mieux aujourd'hui?" Is everything going better today?

You nodded and dodged any further questions until he was luckily called over to the car and just like that, he was out of the garage, waving at you as he slipped into the cockpit and moved out into the pit lane.

You slacked in a chair then, feeling so guilty for even having the thought of leaving him, so guilty for putting yourself first. All you could think of was how you never in your life bothered prioritizing yourself and why did you have to start doing that now? When it came down to Charles and your relationship with him? But then another voice that seemed to come from a totally different side of your brain would remind you that it was either losing Charles or losing yourself again and forcing yourself into endless years of repairs and reconstruction.

Needless to say, by the start of the formation lap, your felt like you were loosing your mind as one thought contradicted the other, the scary conditions of the track adding another element to go crazy over with worry and before you knew it, chaos ensued and the race was red flagged when Carlos crashed and the recovery vehicle was employed while the cars were still on track and if you knew anything, it was that it would be disturbing for Charles to see that, especially when it was one of his friends, Pierre who was in the most danger.

You stayed in your chair as the cars made their way back in and watched Charles talking to the pit wall crew across from the garage where you were. He looked so visibly shaken up and you couldn't look at him and his tense posture for longer than that without backing out on your plan.

You turned away, grabbed your phone and booked a plane ticket home so there was no way out of this. However, that only increased the guilt you were feeling as Charles finished talking to Laurent and made his way to you, instantly giving you a kiss before reaching for his red Ferrari coat and shrugging it on to warm himself up.

If he didn't look visibly upset and worried and if you didn't feel like you were betraying him, you would've been obsessing over how adorable he looked with his hands tucked deep into his pockets as he took a seat by your side.

Suddenly, for the first time in years, you were fumbling for words around Charles but you saw him in staring into the distance before he heavily sighed and dropped his head back.

Everything was so close to collapsing, both on your side and his. Maybe you could rethink your decision.

"Bébé..." you turned sideways in your chair and faced him, "are you okay?" You asked and grabbed his hand in both yours.

"Yes, don't worry. Are you feeling better today?"

Only Charles would be more concerned about you when just minutes ago, his life and the life of multiple of his friends were literally on the line.

"Charles..."

"Please, they're already going to make me talk about everything in the media pen and i really don't want to do it twice." He rubbed his eyes angrily as he spoke, moving his hand between yours to intertwine your fingers.

Maybe you shouldn't leave. Not today at least.

You nodded and sat by his side in silence, watching your hands in your lap, his fingers toying with the ring on yours in a way you would've presumed absentminded but Charles found it incredibly comforting.

Eventually, after texting with the other drivers for a long time, all of them furious about the truck incident, he moved his chair closer and rested his head on your shoulder, allowing the two of you to chat quietly about almost anything that didn't involve racing: the food from the restaurant you went to in Tokyo, the old couple you saw yesterday when you went for a walk in the early morning, the wallpaper on your phone, paddock gossip... Anything to distract him for the current situation and the catastrophe that was this Grand Prix since you had a relatively clear idea of what he would be thinking at the moment.

"Cute hoodie, by the way." He smiled half-heartedly.

"It's cold and i don't have anything warm enough with me." You were quick to defend.

"I didn't say i mind it. Au contraire, je l'adore quand tu t'habille de mes vêtements." On the contrary, i adore it when you wear my clothes.

You couldn't even believe you were still considering leaving just a few minutes ago. How could you ever let go of this?

"Okay, okay. Don't get all cheesy now." You blushed, holding onto his hand tighter while you attempted to get a clear view of him.

He let out a small chuckle and brought your hand up to his mouth to press a kiss onto your knuckles.

"Merci." He smiled, "I know what you're doing and I'm so grateful."

You struggled to reply because of course he'd figure this out, so you settled for something simple, "Je t'aime, Charlie." You said and kissed his forehead mindlessly.

And it was like the universe hated you because right that instant, a big camera was directed right at you and Charles, capturing the moment at the perfect time and probably showing it on live TV.

It would be an understatement to say you immediately feared the outcome because you knew that a lot of people would find some ulterior motive other than comforting your stressed fiancé behind the gesture.

You still tried hard to act unfazed like Charles was but you remained highly uncomfortable until the lens moved in the other direction, filming the pit wall.

Somehow, through the seemingly endless red flag, you managed to forget that ever happened until Charles fixed up his suit and retrieved his helmet ages later, returning to his car as they announced the resumption of the session in ten minutes.

"Good luck once again." You smiled at him and watched him head out, back into the car and onto the track.

When Charles disappeared out of sight, you grabbed your phone and found endless notifications on the screen, reminding you of being filmed.

You couldn't help the heavy dread in your chest as you unlocked the device and clicked on the twitter icon.

You knew you couldn't allow yourself to have a breakdown in the middle of the garage with so many people who were well aware who you were surrounding you but you couldn't resist clicking on the notifications tab, gulping as you started reading through them.

It was the usual: the comments like "oh my god, they're adorable" and "at least she's there to comfort him" versus the opposing ones like "she's doing anything to appear on the stream", as if a kiss on the forehead was such an eccentric things to go.

Line after line, you read them and allowed them to build up in your mind until your breathing became irregular like yesterday.

You made a run for it.

You grabbed your things in a hurry, still trying not to attract unnecessary attention and hurried to the car.

You couldn't do this. You wouldn't survive staying in the spotlight that came with dating one of the most famous f1 drivers currently. You wouldn't make it out alive if you stayed with Charles and even though you felt so selfish as you turned the car on, you kept telling yourself that if there was any reasonable time to be selfish, it was now.

The drive back to the hotel passed in a teary, breathless haze as your mind carried your body on autopilot.

Before you could even register that you arrived to the room, you were packing up your bag and frantically searching the room for any pen and paper until you found one with the name of the hotel plastered all over it.

You only realized you were crying when the tear splattered onto the paper, distorting the ink as you shakily wrote.

Charlie, je suis infiniment désolée mais je ne peux plus faire ça. Ce mode de vie est quelque chose dont je ne pourrai jamais supporter.

Prends toujours soin de toi-même. I am so sorry.

Charlie, I'm very sorry but I can't do that anymore. This way of life is something I will never be able to bear.

Always take care of yourself. I am so sorry.

It felt like you were ripping away a part of you when your fingers wrapped around the engagement ring and you began sliding it off. It was physically painful to let go of everything so quickly but it felt like there was no escaping this.

Your eyes forcefully shut and sobs shook your body once the ring was in the palm of your hand instead of on your finger. You looked down at it, the diamond glistening brighter through your blurry, teary gaze. With your breath caught in your throat, you let it fall onto the paper on the nightstand then you were struggling to inhale at all, but you managed to call a taxi and rush down to the lobby with your suitcase and a heavy heart that was burdening you, avoiding at all costs allowing your mind to imagine how Charles would react to your unexplained and unexpected absence, let alone the break up in form of a paper with tear-streaked ink scarring it.

You just flew to your home country, not even to the apartment you shared with Charles in Monaco, leaving everything behind.

—

Such a short race shouldn't have felt so long but it seemed never ending as the gap to P1 grew with every lap, the tyres working completely against all the effort Charles was putting in.

Before he even knew it, the Redbull behind him was threateningly close and he was cussing out the whole world. He defended his position with everything he got, the only thing on his mind is finishing the race and falling into the comfort of his fiancée's arms but with all the stress that weighed down on his shoulders, the pressure of such defense caused him to exit the track and he knew he'd have to face complications because of that.

Getting dropped from P2 to P3 by a 5 seconds penalty felt like being dropped from P1 to P20, especially after all the effort he put in on track to keep the position but he took it without complaints and walked into the cool down room, already feeling like he was ready to collapse in bed.

He felt heavy and exhausted. He just wished he could skip the podium celebration and the interviews and just go find you but he knew that was impossible so he straightened up and put the brave, undefeated face back on.

On podium, his eyes scanned the crowd many times, trying so desperately to find the face that brought him comfort but to no avail. His shoulders slacked a bit lower as he realized you weren't watching the celebration and he was already making excuses for you as the national anthems played.

Eventually, he was handed a trophy and even though it was rather small, lifting it above his head took so much effort. He was so done with everything and just wanted to escape to you and hug you so tight. No one was ever able to cheer him up like you did and he was so grateful for that, for you and for the fact that he would be calling you his wife someday.

Forcing himself to stay aware of where he was for a few more minutes, he popped the bottle of champagne open and sprayed Max, congratulated him on the championship and eagerly got the hell out.

He rejoined his team, immediately asking about you but no where had a single idea where you were. Then, he was dragged out into the media pen where he rushed through all the questions, eventually resuming the search for you as soon as he was free to go. He checked both Ferrari garages, the team hospitality and finally his motorhome but you were nowhere to be found.

He started worrying, the state you were in yesterday adding to the situation.

He changed out of the suit, put on a jacket, grabbed his things and got going, his phone ringing against his ear as he attempted calling you while he was searching for Pierre to quickly check up on him before leaving. The phone kept ringing until he was met with beeping followed by your voicemail.

"Where are you, chérie? You're worrying me." He said and stuffed his phone in his pocket as he caught sight of his french friend.

—

Half an hour later, Charles was in the elevator in the hotel, going up to the floor the two of you were staying at, his heart beating fast with pure worry since he already called you many times on his way back and not once did you pick up.

He dragged himself through the hallway and unlocked the door in a hurry, immediately calling your name once he stepped into the suite.

Once, twice, three times... Nothing. Not a single sound in the room.

He walked further inside, expecting to see you overtaken by sleep on the bed but it was neatly made and the room looked clean and spotless.

That's when he panicked.

The room looked too clean.

The vanity facing the bed had absolutely nothing on it. Just this morning, it had your bag, your makeup remover, your jewelry box and a bottle of your perfume. It was completely clear now, and it could've been that you just put these things away but your suitcase had also been sitting on the floor next to it along with the spare pair of shoes you brought with you and those were gone too. Even your phone's charger was gone from the outlet above your nightstand.

The words you had said to him yesterday resurfaced in his mind, the fact that you were asking him to promise you he'd never forget you love him now seemingly bone-chilling.

What was going on? He kept asking himself because there was no way what he was assuming would be true.

He turned on his heels and began searching the other part of the suite, from the kitchenette to the small balcony to the bathroom, even checking behind the frosted glass of the shower.

Nothing. You weren't there and nor were your things.

"Non. Non, ça peut pas être." No. No, it can't be. He started mumbling to himself as he rushed around the rooms, retrieving his phone and calling you in a hurry now, as if that would make you pick up.

"Tu peux pas me faire ça. Qu'est-ce qui se passe? Où est tu? S'il te plais, répond au téléphone." You can't do that to me. What’s going on? Where are you? Please answer the phone. He said into your voicemail and tossed his phone onto the couch, heading back to the bedroom.

Maybe he was misinterpreting this. Maybe you just put your suitcase in the closet provided. Maybe you put your things in drawers. Maybe you left the race because you were tired.

So many maybes and what ifs clouded his thoughts as he pulled the closet opened, only to be deceived but the dull and blank wooden shelves.

"Putain." Fuck. He cursed and moved onto the drawers, not even closing the closet doors.

One after one, he yanked them open and every single drawer was empty, even the ones of the nightstand on the side where you'd been sleeping, leaving him with only the one on his side of the bed.

He rolled on the mattress in a hurry but froze in his sitting position as his eyes met a sight he never wanted to see, a sight he never thought he'd see.

It felt like he forgot how to breathe, like his heart was irregularly beating, skipping beats left and right as his eyes widened so much, they started burning.

"Non..." he shocked, gulping as he tried to make sense and of everything, "Why? What the fuck? Why?" He bolted to his feet, pacing by the bed with his hand against his mouth in pure shock. His mind was a mess of thoughts and feelings and words but most importantly questions.

He thought things between the two of you were as perfect as they could get so why was he staring at your ring sitting abandoned on the nightstand? He couldn't make sense of it. He kept asking himself why.

His heart shattered because it finally made sense how you were speaking to him yesterday night. You had planned this and still went to the race, sat by his side and comforted him when all he could think of was the potential tragedy that was the first few laps.

Nothing made sense. If you love him as much as you said yesterday, why did you leave him? Why did you bother with the grand prix? Why did you wear his sweatshirt?

Charles eventually froze in his spot but he could see a paper under the shiny band and he wanted to grab it. However, it felt like his arms had went limp and he suddenly couldn't move, his eyes still scarily widened, still trying so hard to wrap his head around what has happened today.

He was just so eager to come back to you after such a stressful race, after it became official that he lost the championship. He needed you right now that if felt like the world was closing in on him, but he came back to this, to a breakup through a paper, not even face to face.

Cursing again, he grabbed the paper and the ring and read the streaked ink scribbled clearly in a hurry.

A hundred times, he read and reread the words, until his tears joined the marks of yours on the paper, and not once did they sink in.

You gave up on the relationship that easily? He couldn't bear the mere thought of you leaving him and now he had to face that as his reality? Without any clear explanation or a proper end and all because of the lifestyle that came with dating him? How were you planning to marry him if that was the case?

He fell back onto the mattress, his hands over his face as he tried so hard not to break after such a bad day but the tears defied him and streamed down the sides of his face in a rush.

It felt like a mockery that when he received the penalty, he thought the weekend had no way of getting worse. He had the comfort of knowing he had you by his side and with the endless support you always provided, he knew he could overcome anything but now he feels powerless, broken and defeated and he wasn't sure what to do about it.

He just needed one of your hugs right now. He just needed for this to be a nightmare.

Just a few hours ago, he was twisting the ring around your finger and now it sat painfully cold in its loneliness in the palm of his hand.

He felt like tossing it out if the window but his heart couldn't take anymore hits today so he clutched it tighter and gave up on trying to push his emotions aside. He let them rule over him.

He loved you too much to be able to pull himself through this and come out unscathed.

This felt like the end of everything. He lost everything in a day and he didn't have to energy to face that just yet.

He laid alone on that bed, staring at the ceiling blankly, waiting for the shock to subside and for heartbreak to set in and when it did, every last breath was knocked right out of his body and he was left curled around a pillow, holding it so tight and crying into it, occasionally trying to call you again and again but not once did you answer and it enraged him.

He tossed the phone off the bed onto the floor with a frustrated scream that felt like it was cutting through his lungs.

Following that, he allowed himself to completely fall apart as it sank in that you really left him.

Charles felt utterly defeated and hopeless.

—

To say you were no longer used to waking up in your childhood home would be a major understatement, especially since you could barely open your swollen, burning eyes in the morning to see the room clearly, leaving you panicked because you weren't at the place you call home and very far from the person that felt like it.

However, the familiarity of the place was as welcoming as ever, definitely something you needed at the moment.

When you showed up home yesterday, everyone was worried but as they watched you drag the suitcase in with bare hands, the object tying you to Charles missing from your finger, they caught up quick enough not to ask any questions.

They let you sleep it off in your old bedroom but really, you were crying most of the time, questioning if you made the right decision.

Charles called you so many times and left so many voicemails but you were determined to stay off your phone, so you let it's battery drain until it powered off at night and you decided not to charge it as not to risk it.

Your heart ached all night long since the only thing you could think of was Charles returning to the vacant hotel room and discovering that you left without him, and as your woke up this morning and found yourself reaching for him in your half conscious state, what had remained whole from you completely shattered because he obviously wasn't there and you had made that choice for the both of you and he probably was clueless why you did it.

The smell of him was still engulfing you though, making you realize hours too late that you had taken off dressed in his sweatshirt still and you couldn't really tell if the fact that you were still wearing it was good or bad. You really couldn't bring yourself to care.

Once the morning light became too strong, you forced yourself to get out of the bed. However, on the first attempt, you only managed to sit up enough to scan the room. Your head was throbbing and your throat was sore and dry and you could barely see anything through your blurry vision.

You rubbed your eyes furiously and got up. Outside your door, you could hear your family moving about in the house and talking, the clatter of plates and utensils implying that they were probably having breakfast.

You felt guilty that you barely great them yesterday but you still couldn't bring yourself to go out and talk to anyone so grabbed some of your old towels from a drawer, your shower products from your suitcase and headed for the bathroom.

You avoided your reflection at all costs. You didn't want to face any of yesterday's various aftermaths. Instead, you stepped under the hot stream, immediately felt your shoulders drop as your head fall back, the hot water relaxing your tense muscles.

Then, the tears made a comeback and you welcome them with open arms, letting them stay as you washed your hair and body until you turned the shower off and padded back to your room.

Pulling open your closet, you were met with the memories of the last time you had stocked it. You and Charles and his family spent last Christmas with your parents. The two of you had been newly engaged and everyone was still gushing over that.

As the memories of that trip resurfaced, your eyes met the sight of a certain pile of clothes that didn't belong to you. That's when you remembered that Charles had felt a few items of clothing here, a change for hot weather and one for cold days, because he was so damn sure he'd come back to your childhood home at some point and so were you.

With your lips pursed, you betrayed your heart and grabbed his sweater instead of your own clothes and put it on along with some shorts.

Tensely, you fell back onto the messy bed, staring up at the ceiling, feeling lost and withdrawn. You had nothing to do, nowhere to be , nothing to distract you and the only thing you could think off was Charles.

You just wanted to know if he was alright, if he finished the race safely at least, but you didn't want to face the fact that you hurt him without giving him any explanation, that you walked out on him during one of the heaviest races of the season. You didn't want to consider the possibility that he now understood why you kept reminding him that you love him and that he might find it confusing now since common logic was that you don't leave someone you love.

As the thoughts ate away at your heart, you impulsively jumped up and grabbed your phone to charge it. You had to make sure he crossed the finish line safely at least and you wouldn't have to give in and contact him for you to know that.

The few minutes that it takes for the phone to power on felt like ages and when it finally did, over 50 missed calls from Charles flooded in along with so many texts and voicemails.

That meant that he was well, health wise at least. However, the last missed call was hours ago.

Your finger hovered over the voicemail icon and you were so tempted to just click it, desperate to hear his voice since you weren't used to starting your day without talking to him.

You gave in.

The first one started by him just asking where you were and judging by the noise around him, it was clear that he was still at the paddock.

But as one recording ended and another played, his tone progressively changed and several of his words broke your heart.

"Tu peux pas me faire ça..." You can’t do this to me… is what you heard in the second voicemail and the last one in which he didn't sound like he was crying. After that, it was just heartache.

"Tu peux me dire pourquoi, au moins? Je ne comprends rien." Can you tell me why, at least? I don’t understand anything.

"Where did you go? Tu m'inquiète au point de la folie." I’m going crazy from the worry.

"Fuck. Fuck, just..." you heard a sniffle, "... please, je te supplie, come back. Please."

These sentences amidst rambling and incoherent french stuck with you, making you wish you never charged your phone again or that you never left, but even after hearing that, nothing could've prepared you for the last recording.

"I'm kind of loosing hope now that you will answer," he sighed, "i just needed you here today, and always, but today more than usual. The race was shit but somehow i don't give a fuck. Why?" There was a laugh of irony and a pause before he continued, "Because the person i wanted to marry just left me. Really, bébé? Quand même une petite explication à ce qui s'est passé! Un adieu! Même ça, je ne le mérite plus?" At least a little explanation for what happened! A goodbye! Even that, I don't deserve it anymore? He was crying and now, so were you.

"It doesn't feel nice, being dumped with a letter and not even knowing why et maintenant, je sais plus how to live without you à mes côtés. Pourquoi t'as fais ça? How am i supposed to continue believing que tu m'aime? Tu m'as détruit complètement, chérie. J'ai tout perdu today."

It doesn't feel nice, being dumped with a letter and not even knowing why and now, I don't know how to live without you by my side. Why did you do that? How am I supposed to continue believing that you love me? You destroyed me completely, darling. I lost everything today.

Heavy breathing took over for a few seconds and you could tell he had been trying not to make it too obvious that he was crying.

Your hand clasped over your mouth to muffle the sobs as you waited for Charles to continue, "Je voulais t’épouser. I was gonna tell you that we should start preparing for the wedding so we can get married in winter break mais il me semble que tu n'veux plus rien a faire avec moi et je n'ai aucune idée pourquoi. The lifestyle isn't something new et si tu était autant gêné depuis le début, you shouldn't have said yes when i proposed. Fuck, you really shouldn't have given me de l'espoir that i will get to call you my wife un jour, que je pourras passer le reste de ma vie avec toi, have our own children et notre propre famille à nous. Putain, tu n'aura jamais dû me laisser tomber si amoureux de toi if you knew you would leave at some point."

I wanted to marry you. I was gonna tell you that we should start preparing for the wedding so we can get married in winter break but it seems to me that you don't want anything to do with me anymore and I have no idea why. The lifestyle isn't something new and if you were so annoyed from it from the beginning, you shouldn't have said yes when I proposed. Fuck, you really shouldn't have given me hope that I will get to call you my wife one day, that I would get to spend the rest of my life with you, have our own children and our own family. Fuck, you should never have let me fall so in love with you if you knew you would leave at some point.

There was a long break after that and you could hear the sniffles and the rustling of sheets. You couldn't even imagine what he was thinking in these silent seconds.

"Je dois me taire, non? By the way, Max was announced champion, si t'en soucies même plus. I have to shut up, right? By the way, Max was announced champion, if you even care anymore. And... I love you still, a lot." He gasped the words out between sharp inhales and it made you want to go back to him just to hug him tight.

"Je sais plus si te veux que je t'aime ou non but that will never change the fact that i would die for you, même si tu pense that i don't even deserve a face to face break up. Je t'aime, even if i don't understand shit."

I don't know if you want me to love you or not but that will never change the fact that I would die for you, even if you think that I don't even deserve a face to face break up. I love you, even if I don't understand shit.

You locked your phone and tossed it aside, grabbing a pillow and holding it against your face, trying to muffle the crying.

You could've told him the reason this was happening but, knowing Charles, he would blame himself for everything. This, this was bad but he didn't have to feel guilty in this scenario. You were withholding all the guilt and you'd be happy bearing it forever if that meant Charles wouldn't be tinged by it.

No matter how bad this was, he would manage to get over it, even if after a while but you knew him and you knew he wouldn't cope well with knowing that he was the reason you fell back into the depths of your past insecurities.

A knock on your door interrupted your crying. You tossed the pillow away and wiped your eyes rapidly with the sweater's sleeves before saying "Come in."

You knew you couldn't avoid your family anymore. They were probably really concerned.

Your older brother peeked his head through the door with a cautious smile on his face.

"Hi." He started, taking just one step into the room and closing the door after him.

"Hey." You tried smiling back but teared up again at the attempt.

"Look, i'm not gonna be nosey." He said before he took a seat on the edge of the bed, "I just need to know if i need to kick some ass or anything. I don't really care that he's Leclerc in this case." He tried to joke.

"Please, if there’s any need to kick his ass i would've done it myself. I don't need any men to do it for me."

Your brother smiled at that, having expected that response.

"However, the only guilty person here is me." You continued and quickly wiped away the tear that escaped.

"Why?" He frowned.

"I left while he was mid-race." You clarified, your teeth abusing your inner cheek between words, "I just don't know how to live the lifestyle he has, you know?"

Your brother looked confused, "Yeah, i'm not buying that, the thing about life with him. You've been together for years, only now you realized his lifestyle? You live together, you're practically married so even when you do actually get legally married, there will barely be any difference." He started analyzing. "Something is off. What's the real reason you left?"

You caved in so fast but you didn't really have any energy in you to resist it.

"I've been getting so much hate, especially when I'm with him at races. I couldn't deal with it anymore."

Your brother, like everyone who knew you and Charles, wasn't a stranger to that. He nodded and appeared to be in deep thought about this.

"Did you try talking to him about it? Charles loves you so much, we can all see it, and i know he would be very understanding and helpful in this situation."

In your mind, the thought of opening up to Charles about this wasn't even present. After all, he also gets a lot of hate too. However, the criticism he received was mostly about his skills as a driver, in other words, nothing he couldn't control and improve. On the other hand, people hated you for you, for simply existing as Charles' partner.

"It's not that simple."

"Oh, but it is. Look, i understand it's difficult to read that shit but it's not right that you left him out of the blue, like you have no respect for what you have, or had, with him."

That angered you so fast, you quickly got off the bed to face your brother.

"Of course i have respect for him and our relationship!I'm- I was engaged to him, for fuck's sake!" The little correction you had to make pained you as it made this situation much realer.

"I'm sorry, but if my partner walked out on me like that, i wouldn't be okay with it. If you want to break up with him for such a vague reason, at least do it to his face. That guy loves you more than i've seen anybody love anyone before and i know you're my sister, but if you treat him like that, after such a difficult race as well, you don't deserve him."

Ever since you heard that last voicemail, there's been a part you've avoided thinking of.

Getting married in winter break, literally in a few months. Instead of that, you left him the ring and took off.

You knew he wanted to marry you. Otherwise, he wouldn't have proposed but the fact that he wanted to do it so soon was unexpected to you. It should've been the happiest surprise, instead it was tugging on your heartstrings.

"He wanted to get married after the season ended, in his winter break." You spoke in a whisper.

Before you could receive a reply, your mother's voice could be heard as she called for your brother.

"Look," he started as he got up, "just call him." He shot an accusatory finger at you, "He had a shit race yesterday and i think you'd be able to find some solutions to this together. " He kept talking until he was out the door.

"Wait!" You called for him, "What position did he end up in?"

"Defended P2 with inters turned into basically slicks but ended up P3 after a five second penalty for cutting a chicane in the last lap. I gotta go."

Needless to say, you couldn't bring yourself to actually call him but you did spend hours staring at his contact name, the little ring emoji you added to it a while back torturing you now. Eventually, you joined your mother in the living room, allowing her to distract you until your brother reappear, asking if you talked to Charles, to which you shook your head then watched him leave the house.

Hours later, you retreated back to your room, laying on your bed and scrolling through twitter again. The notifications had lessened compared to yesterday but there were still there, the hate still being a constant and an arguably increasing reoccurrence. Surprisingly though, it wasn't what you focused on nor what you cried about.

You had been letting the clip of you kissing Charles' forehead during the red flag replay for so long, you'd lost count of how many times it had repeated. All you could focus on was how comforting Charles seemed to find your presence.

Over the years, everyone kept telling you how you were the only person who was able to comfort Charles as more than just some temporary fix. When you were to one to receive him with open arms after an angering or disappointing moment, Charles would calm down within minutes. Even his mother had said that and even Mattia had noticed it, but you never saw it.

However, now that you were stood on the outside, looking into the relationship, you saw it clear as day. In such a stressful and traumatic place and moment, he looked content in a way and it caused you to break down crying, especially as you thought of him bearing the disappointment alone yesterday, only to face something worse when he found out you left.

Eventually, you fell asleep with the video playing.

The next morning, the sound of the doorbell echoed through the house and woke you up. You expected your mother to get it but it rang again and again until you groaned and headed to check who it was while rubbing your eyes with the sleeves of Charles' shirt that you were still wearing.

You checked your reflection on the hallway mirror. Sure, the swollen eyes were still prominent but you hadn't been expecting them to subside any time soon so you sucked it up and padded to the door, swinging it open while tugging the shirt down to cover some skin as you just realized how short the shorts were.

Then, you froze.

All sorts of emotions ran through your body. First, shock because, how and why? Second was some weird sort of relief. Third, and most dominantly, guilt.

Guilt was eating you alive as you stared at the man whose heart you broke. You couldn't bring yourself to move nor to look away but you couldn't really look for any longer.

"Um..." you started fumbling for something to say, rubbing at the back of your neck awkwardly.

"Can i come in?" He asked and even though the sentence was short, it was still enough to show how hoarse his voice sounded.

You nodded and moved aside. Charles immediately made his way inside.

"How- um, why did- You know what i mean." You struggled while closing the door shut.

"You were getting hate and instead of telling me, you left?" He sounded angry and you wanted to strangle your brother for obviously contacting Charles.

"Charles, please... I can't-"

"You can't? Let's say you desperately want go break up with me, why didn't you do it properly? And really? Suzuka out of all places?" He asked, his hands gestures emphasizing his point.

He was right and there was no way to escape that so you fell back into the couch behind you, tugging on your sleeves and picking at the cotton.

Before you knew it, Charles was sat by your side.

"I wasn't really thinking. Everything i read was hitting so close to home and it was giving me some sort of panic attack and i - i'm sorry for leaving like that." Your eyes prickled with tears again.

"The night before, i asked you so many times what was wrong. You had me worried sick when i found you crying. You could've told me - fuck, you should've told me." He sprung back to his feet, rubbing at his face in frustration.

"I didn't want you to know." You spoke quietly.

"Why? I thought we trusted each other with everything! And it's literally something that i caused so deserved to know..." His voice rose.

"See? This is exactly why. You will blame yourself for it. You can't control what some asshole type out on their phones, even if they're your fans. There's nothing you can do to stop it and i can't handle it and revert to being an insecure person so i did us both a favor and left!" You shouted back.

Charles was gaping at you.

"You're giving up that easily on years of us and all the fucking future we've planned? Tout à cause de quelques connards qui se cachent à l'abri de leurs petits écrans?" All because of some assholes hiding in the shelter of their small screens? He was huffing in irony, "If some assholes you don't even know are able to make you insecure, then, je suis désolé bébé, but you've never been confident enough then." Knowing it was a touchy subject, Charles regained his composure and regulated his tone.

"Oh, really? You're telling me how i feel, Charles? You know me better than i know myself? Oh, wow! What a fucking catch i let go of!"

"That's not-" he attempted a reply.

"Shut up."

"Chérie, please."

"Shut up!"

He took his seat back next to you and tried to grab your hand but you snatched it away so fast, making him nod in defeat.

"Okay." He murmured and slacked against the back of the couch, his leg bouncing and shaking the whole sofa with it.

A deafening silence took over for long, painful minutes during which you reverted back to crying while Charles stared blank up at the ceiling.

"What about all the things you say to me after bad races?" He sniffled beside you, making you realize he was crying as well, "All that shit about how we can get through everything together? How we can always be each other's comfort and safety? That there's nothing on this world we can't overcome as long as we keep in mind that's it's us against the problem, not against each other? Why doesn't it apply when it's you that needs me? Why's it only me that shares the issues and problems i'm facing so we can solve them together?" He ranted, not stopping for a breath while he lost control over the tears, "I want to help you through this."

"Arrête, s'il te plaît." Stop, please. You cried harder, got up and started pacing around the room, sobbing into the sleeves, hearing Charles crying too.

You've always been used to solving your problems on your own and while over the years, you learned to share the burden of some issues with Charles, you still couldn't bring yourself to openly talk about things like this, not because you didn't trust him enough to help you, but because you've never been comfortable sharing so much.

You kept walking back and forth, hands covering your bloodshot eyes until you collided against who you knew was Charles.

His arms wrapped around you, even when you tried resisting his touch, pushing against his chest, wanting to get away before you caved in and he knew you enough to know that. Eventually, you broke down in his hold and he let you cry it all out.

"Talk to me, please." He cooed in your ear, dragging you to sit with him on the couch.

You tried not to but it got suffocating and so, the questions rushed out.

"You would tell me if i was annoying you during race weekends, right? If i was limiting your freedom."

With every word, and as he realized the cruel remarks you'd been reading, Charles' heart broke more and more.

"What? I want you by side everyday of my life, chérie!" Subconsciously, and maybe even somewhat protectively, his arms tightened around you.

"They're right, in a way... You could get sick of me faster if i went with you everywhere, and if i kept gaining weight-"

"Baby..." he interrupted, "I don't see a single reason for me to get sick of you. You have a fun and amazing personality, you are so beautiful and you understand me like no one ever has. Every day i'm away from you, i can't wait to go back home because life feels - i don't know the word for it - but it feels full and complete with you. And the weight thing, fuck whoever said that. I wish you would love yourself and your body like i do. You're beautiful in every state."

You cried even harder into his shirt, the words he was saying making you realize it was a huge mistake, allowing anyone to mess with your relationship with him, but him easing your worries wouldn't stop the hate and the both of you knew it.

"I love you, Charlie."

"I love you too."

You sat still in that position for a while and that left you thinking of the way things online would never change, dreading that in fact.

"I know what you're thinking. Oui, on pourra jamais les stopper, j'en sais cela très bien." Yes, we can never stop them, I know that very well. Charles spoke up and you gulped at that, "But you could use it for your entertainment. Listen here, all those things they say, it's out of jealousy. You're at a grand prix and they're saying you never leave me alone? They're jealous you get to go for free and that you're dating a driver. Fuck with their minds, post confusing locations, or rub it in their faces that you're there and they're not. I guess what I'm trying to say is have the upper hand because someone who hates on other people online will always be below them. Let them be the insecure ones and keep in mind, everything that is point out negatively is something that they envy so much that they noticed it." He was speaking and moving his hands up and down your back comfortingly.

"And if a certain comment gets to you, come to me and tell me about it and i will prove it wrong in hundreds of different ways. I don't know of you've seen it bébé, mais tu as tes propre fans même and they are way more than the haters. If anything, that just proves my point that you're just so lovable." …but you even have your own fans…

Charles smiled and tilted your head up so he caught a glimpse of your face.

"Just, please, give us another shot and be completely honest with me. Even if you hide those kinds of things from me again - if you decide you want to stay with me - i will now know to look online when things feel off, so i just want your honesty."

You smiled and nodded, agreeing to everything but slightly confusing Charles.

"Yes to what part exactly?"

"Tout. Je veux tout avec toi. Et je vais toujours être honnête avec toi. Everything. I want everything with you. And I will always be honest with you. But first, i owe you a big apology. What i did was cowardly, the way i ran away. I'm sorry i hurt you, Charles." You kissed his neck, "I'm sorry i confused you and left without even saying goodbye." The kissed moved further up his jaw, "And i'm so sorry that i wasn't there after that shitshow, especially since i knew how stressed the first two laps made you. I feel like an asshole." You sealed the words with a kiss to his lips.

"It's okay, bébé. I understand it now." He pressed your lips together again.

"Doesn't excuse how insensitive i was. Is everyone alright?"

"Yeah, the race finished safely."

You nodded, "That's good." Then, you sat up a bit to see him better, "And as for the championship, your are still my champion and you will be the world's one day. You've got it in you and everyone sees it." Assuringly, you traced your hand softly along his cheek while he stared at you lovingly.

"I'm so lucky that i found you, tu sais?" you know? He pulled you back onto his chest, "Je t'adore." I adore you.

"Je t'adore également, crois moi." I adore you just as much, believe me.

You heard him sigh and relax in relief but he wasn't still for long. Within seconds, you felt him reach for his pant's pocket, digging through it weirdly in this position.

"Give me your hand." Charles instructed and you complied.

"Me donnerais-tu l'honneur de t'épouser, mon amour?" Would you give me the honour to marry you, my love? He asked, holding out the ring.

"Bien sûr." Of course. You chuckled, "L'honneur est vraiment complètement le mien." The honour is completely mine.

The both of you watched your hand as Charles slipped the ring back on your finger where it belongs with a big grin on his face.

Now, everything felt right again and you realized that you'd be able to conquer the world and its critics with this man by your side.

a/n: idk how to feel about the note as a picture so be sure to let me know if it’s s cringey as i find it. Thank you for reading!💕

#charles leclerc imagines #f1 imagines #charles leclerc x reader #f1 x reader #charles leclerc x you #f1 oneshots #charles leclerc oneshots #f1 x you #charles leclerc one shot

[z3nitsusgf]

My fav boys 💔 subby pervy nerd albedo and subby mod xiao melt into putty the moment you lay a warm hand on their napes and guide them to your nipples

Just your two soft boys lazily sucking and gazing up at you with glossy hooded eyes and making soft noises 💕

also not my brain coming up with the picture of these two boys with their heads on your chest and mouths full of tits and kaeya being like one step from jumping in front of a moving truck bc he realised that he literally lost to a fucking nerd and a greasy hentai addict discord mod 💔💀

lmfao what if I just posted haha… unless?

cw: reader has bewbs, sub!xiao & sub!albedo, dom!reader ig, tit sucking (oh yeahhh), drooling, mention of xiaobedo bc yeah, 2 losers suck your tits what more do you want from me

“Fucking move,” Xiao spits, smacking the back of the other boy's head so hard he jerks forward and Albedo makes a choked yelp at the impact.

The two of them are crowded over your topless body wrestling on who gets to mouth your chest first. They’ve already backed you into the headboard, kneeling on either side of you in the rather small dorm bed.

They look like feral cats, baring their teeth and swatting at each other. Xiao nearly growled at the blonde before you kicked him lightly with your foot.

Albedo murmurs a soft dragged out, “Ow” and cradles the spot where the other boy hit him. Looking up at you with glassy wide eyes and a jutting a plush bottom lip. He splays his hands over your thighs and leans his face closer to your shoulder.

“He’s being mean again.” Albedo pouts, playing up your sympathy for him and Xiao rolls his eyes up into the ceiling, thick liner smeared across his under eyes, getting ready to shove the other boy off you, palms near the blonde’s waist. “Shut up, wanna see mean? I’ll show you—“

You click your tongue over your teeth, reaching up and curling a finger around Xiao’s jaw, lifting his head as you say his name quietly. He jerks just a bit, but his eyes soften, the words dying on his lips. He looks up at you from where he’s kneeling near you and you hum,

“Hey now, be nice to bedo, or I’ll have to punish the both of you.” You murmur, tone soft but entirely firm. You don’t hide how amused you are, the way your eyebrow arches and you look, seemingly, down at him from above. He knows you’re completely serious too, that you’ll shove them both off and punish them together. He hates the way it makes him leak in his boxers.

Xiao flushes, a carmine flush rising on his cheeks as he gives you a stiff nod, your punishments are… not kind and right now all he wants is to wrap his mouth around your tit. He mutters a small okay and side-eyes his counterpart, he’ll be complacent if it means getting to tongue your chest like a fucking dog and getting to feel how you squirm beneath him.

You smile, leaning forward and kissing the tip of his nose. You hear Albedo whine, a choked pitchy noise escaping the back of his throat and you turn to look at him. His glazed teal eyes are watery, almost overflowing and wetting the lower lashes, you use your other hand to cup his cheek, thumbing softly at the skin as he nuzzles his face into your palm. He’s always been overly sensitive.

“Now, are you two gonna be good boys for me?” You ask, hands-on both of their faces, gripping slightly at their cheeks and puffing their lips. They inhale shakily, squirming over you, cocks straining in their boxers and pressed against their thighs, “Or do I have to make you two get along again?”

They both shiver at the memory, twitching in your hold at the thought of when you had each of them fuck each other silly, till they couldn’t cum anymore and their cocks were aching and raw and milked dry. And they side-eye each other, nodding,

“We’ll be good for you, p-promise.” Albedo heaves it out and you smile at him, brushing your thumb over his wet bottom lip and moving your hand to card through the silvery tresses on the nape of his neck.

He knows how desperate he looks and maybe if it were someone else, like Kaeya or Scara, he’d be embarrassed to be seen so weak - but Albedo knows Xiao is just as desperate to wrap his lips around your nipple. He can see it, with the way he’s been staring at your chest like it’s a fucking delicacy.

You pull Albedo towards your chest, a sign that he knows all too well and immediately wraps his lips around the peaked bud, a soft hum leaving him as he sucks and laps at the skin making your lids flutter and thighs press together. He kisses at the stiff bud, marks it up and drools over it. Hands playing with your waist as you bite back mewls. Albedo makes whiny moans into your chest while he sucks, eyes hazy and too sweet.

And Xiao tightens his fists, digging his nails into his palms while he watches the loser suck your tit like it’s a fucking popsicle, and he’s never been more jealous in his life. Biting back the mean comments on his tongue, until you permit him.

You turn your gaze back to the other boy, his mouth parted and drooling and you chuckle, he doesn’t realize how sweet he looks, you tap your fingers against his cheek.

“Well?” You murmur and Xiao shifts on his knees, looking between you and the other boy sucking at your tit as if his life depends on it. Watching how you shiver when Albedo runs his tongue over the side, licking a stripe up your breast and panting over your chest, and Xiao nods. His pride be damned.

“I-I’ll be good for you too,” he whispers softly, face beet red and burning hot, his lip tucked between his teeth to keep from panting. Your lips curve into a soft smile, your palm smoothing into his dark duo-colored locks as you bring his face closer to your other tit.

Xiao absolutely dives for it once you give him the go ahead, head turning and mouth parting to wrap his lips around your stiff nipples. His fingers dig into your ribcage, splaying upwards to cup the underside of your breast so he can mold it to the shape of his hand. Nipping the puffy sensitive flesh.

You’re squirming, chewing your lips to keep the breathy moans from spilling from your throat. Your fingers tug each of their heads, one silvery blonde and the other dark green. You can feel the drool slipping onto your chest, the wetness from their hot mouths making you writhe. “Slow- fuck- down,” the back of your head knocks lightly against the headboard. You think you feel them smile but you’re not paying attention.

Soon, the two of them find a subtle slow pace. Suckling at your puffy nipples, laving their tongues over them and making small mewling noises. It’s nice, hot and warm. The two of them can’t help the lidding of their eyes and how they rest themselves on top of you. Not minding how close they are to one another.

You smooth your palms over the backs of their heads, enjoying the way they lazily suck your nipples and still look at you like you’re the one who hung every star in the sky <3

#pervy nerd albedo <3 #discord mod xiao <3 #genshin impact･ﾟ✧ #val.writes ❦ #genshin x reader smut #genshin impact smut #xiao smut #albedo smut

[agendabymooner]

lost in japan ! max v. x ofc (hearth sister!ofc) - tltl series extra

“i was hoping i could get lost in your paradise.”

summary: sylvie and max in japan. sylvie’s new obsession. a lot of shopping. and twitter/instagram wars. OR f1 twt summarized each one of max’s posts in his ig story after he and sylvie ford went to japan without any notice.

content warning: use of explicit language, established relationship, threads of posts regarding their relationship, nothing just an inchident serious just fluff and possibly humour, press the pictures for the full view!

note: me: i’m gonna update the masterlist. also me: haha funny brain post some more.

i don’t feel alright today but i hope y’all are doing good and touching grass. enjoy xx

masterlist

tagged maxverstappen1

liked by tillywolff, landonorris, georgerussell63

comments have been limited

yukitsunoda0511 did you go to akihabara then? liked by sylvieeford

maxverstappen1 she practically lived there if i’m being honest 😀

danielricciardo watch out mustang he might steal your supermodel career liked by sylvieeford

sylvieeford he already snatched it. by the weave and all

landonorris left the country as an avid animal crossing gamer and supermodel, came back as an animal crossing gamer and supermodel with a hint of otaku liked by sylvieeford

sylvieeford i can be hot and be obsessed with certain fandoms at the same time, best friend 🤐

landonorris i know, best friend. and i fw it 😍

pierregasly max had been texting us in the groupchat asking yuki about animes and street foods. he was studying that’s why he’s on the phone all the time 😂 liked by sylvieeford

sylvieeford we had a tour guide for a reason maxverstappen1 😭

maxverstappen1 yuki knew the seedy areas that we didn’t know about. how did you think i found our way into that alleyway of vending machines?

yukitsunoda0511 i helped him

sylvieeford it was quite sketchy but thank you yuki 😀 take me somewhere with lights next time caddy

charles_leclerc did you get me something?

sylvieeford my priceless presence during the next race?

charles_leclerc i’m hoping for something like some stuff from the mario theme park.

shawnmendes i’m glad you took my advice 😉 liked by sylvieeford

sylvieeford am i ever glad that i did.

maxverstappen1 if we hadn’t been listening to your playlist we probably wouldn’t have anything to do at home 😅

tillywolff is there anything for the little cubs perhaps??? 👀 liked by sylvieeford

sylvieeford maxverstappen1 lol about that

maxverstappen1 you’re gonna hate us so much

tillywolff oh god, you two went all out on the kids. victoriaverstappen these two are at it with the gifts again 🥲

victoriaverstappen we should swap lives for a day at some point and see how much clutter would you step on when you get them toys

sylvieeford actually we got them new friends and some new clothes from the nintendo shop 😉 then we went to sanrioland and got them all…

tillywolff you two need to stop the retail therapy

maxverstappen1 what’s done is done, tils 🤷‍♀️

christianhorner i’m glad you two missed me 🙄 liked by sylvieeford

sylvieeford don’t worry we got you something to compensate 😉

christianhorner i don’t even want to know.

maxverstappen1 posted a story !!!

bonus !!!

#formula one fanfiction #formula one fic #formula one imagine #formula one x oc #formula one smau #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 smau #f1 fanfic #red bull racing imagine #formula one x reader #formula one social media au #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen #max verstappen fic #max verstappen x oc #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen social media au #max verstappen fluff #f1 instagram au #max verstappen smau #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 smau #formula 1 social media au

[hentyehottie1]

Y’all I know I said I wasn’t posting anything else until I revised some older fics buttttt I just couldn’t get this series out of my head 🥲 let’s call it the Tokyo Rev. Occupation Series where I’ll be writing a series of nsfw blurbs about these sleazy professionals & their favorite clients 🫶🏾

First up we have :

Dentist!Smiley

 Lmaoooo this one is so obvious but Smiley is one of the best dentists there is. His office is a serene environment, even with the rap music playing, mainly Youngboy cus that’s who he claims he resonates with and it reminds him of his adolescence 😭 Souya thinks it’s unprofessional but regardless, it’s what he likes and his clients never complain, except you.

Smiley’s known for enhancements. Says a person’s smile is their best asset and has dedicated his life to helping people achieve their perfect smile. Porcelain veneers are his specialty—he focuses on aesthetic and functionality. His prices are a bit steep but his work speaks for itself. 

At only 27 years old he owns his own private practice and has made a name for himself in such little time. A lot of people are skeptics, claiming he’s far too young to know what the hell he’s doing, and that he’s overrated. He used to get so many comments about him being a scammer, ripping off clients, and a whole bunch of other bullshit on the daily.

It was infuriating but he’s not the person he used to be. Plus he can’t fight thousands of strangers on the internet. So he addressed it one time and one time only on ig live. 

“I don’t do promo like y’all’s favorite dentists, and I don’t fancy putting big white cinderblocks in people’s mouths for a couple thousand dollars like y’all’s favorite dentists.”

“If you don’t wanna work with me, that’s cool, but don’t disrespect me or my craft. My work is immaculate so pay my fucking price, or don’t, but somebody will and you’ll know the difference.” 

Of course it went viral, probably cus he said the whole thing with a smile on his face. Had the internet in an uproar—he was cool, calm and a little stern with just the right amount of sassy and of course you ate it up. Booked your consultation at Kawata Dentistry a few weeks later, paid almost 23 bands for your perfect smile, and you couldn’t be happier. He was much cuter in person, and yes, his teeth are just as straight and white in person. What intrigued you the most was the way the smile on his face never wavered, even when he was a bit annoyed at his receptionist for double booking his appointments.

That was nearly a year ago and he’s been your dentist since, and in the span of that year he’s come to like you a lot—enough to say you’re his favorite client. It makes him so fucking happy that you’ve started to smile for him more, no longer self-conscious about your imperfect smile, now you give him real smiles showing damn near all thirty two of your teeth.

He thinks you’re pretty as fuck too, never wearing any makeup, just your mink lashes and that Dior lip stuff you like. Smiley loves the way you keep yourself up—hair and nails always done and you always smell good as fuck, it’s obvious you’re a high maintenance, luxury bitch. But when you walk through his threshold, when you enter his domain, you’re nothing more than a slut for him to play with and he loves it.

He’s sitting on his stool, wheels locked while you’re on your knees between his legs with his fat cock stuffed in your mouth. The stretch makes your jaw ache but neither of you regard that. You swallow around his cock and it sends shivers up his spine. “Oh fuck, you’re so good at that.”

He calls it a ‘stress test’ and how he got you to agree to this the first time, you’ll never know, it must’ve been his way with words, since that’s what drew you to him in the first place.

Brent Faiyaz is playing, cus you hate that ‘rah-rah rap shit’ and you made it your business to tell him every time you enter his office, once you got comfortable enough.

He’s got your hair fisted into a makeshift ponytail, loves the raw Indian tape-ins you have in this time.

Smiley’s yanking at your hair, bobbing your head up and down, occasionally pushing you down far enough for his peachy pubes to tickle your nose. He’s spewing praise after praise as you please him. Going on and on about how you’re so pretty, especially when you’re on your knees letting him use your mouth like this. Thank goodness for the music, the gyuck sounds are so loud, so obscene as his thrusts get faster and sloppier.

The shaft of his cock is jutting against your teeth every single time the tip of him kisses the back of your throat, makes him shudder every time. He lets out a deep sigh, holding your head still and jerking his hips up.

“Holy shit, you’re so perfect.”

This lasts until he cums, which is never long, you are the client with the perfect mouth after all. He pops his cock out of your mouth, pressing kisses to your lips again and again until he’s satisfied.

You’re still on your knees and he’s still gripping your jaw, you already know what he wants so you crack a wide smile for him. You’re sure you look crazy—spit and cum (you’re dentist’s cum) running down your chin, just smiling like an idiot. He turns your head side to side, using his other hand to run his finger over the tips of your teeth. 

“No loosies or chipping.” He smiles at his own handiwork. “Lemme clean you up and get a picture.” It’s sweet, the way he wipes your face so gently and helps you up. He walks away for a second, washes his hands and returns with a tiny paper cup full of mouthwash, remembers alcohol free is your preference.

The goal is a minute but he lets you slide with the forty-five second swish. He hugs you tight, and he doesn’t let go. Neither do you, your arms perched against his shoulders as you stare up at him.

“When imma see you again? Every four months ain’t cutting it nomore.”

“You can see me whenever, you know where I be, what time I take lunch. Unless you trying to take me on a date outside of work hours.”

You nod, and when you do he’s pulling out his phone, handing it to you with a light chuckle. “Alright, gimme your number. We’ll set something up.”

Later that day, you see he posted you on his personal page. Your teeth looks amazing but you hope the hearts in your eyes and the way you press yourself against him isn’t too obvious.

@/smiley_ortho - Another satisfied client back for routine maintenance! I love making pretty girls prettier 🥺🫶🏻

I guess it’s safe to say you really like your dentist & he really likes you too!

#tokyo rev x reader #tokyo rev smut #tokyo rev x black reader #tokyo rev x you #nahoya kawata #smiley x reader #x black reader #black coded reader #tokyo revengers #tokyo rev x y/n #Tokyo revengers x black reader #HentyeHottie

[deathblacksmoke]

aphid attraction

pairing: noah sebastian x nick ruffilo

cw: masturbation interruption, voyeurism/exhibitionism

author’s note: i have a follow up to this in the works that i will be posting on ao3 as well as on here for a change, so i figured part one should be up here as well. first fic post on tumblr so please be gentle (you don’t have to ig, but would be nice)!

read on ao3

**************************************************************

He’s been sitting on the couch twiddling his thumbs for 15 minutes when he starts to get annoyed. The plan had been to leave at 5 to check out new gear for the fall tour, so when it’s nearing half past and Noah still hasn’t so much as popped his head out to acknowledge Nick’s existence, yeah, he’s a little pissed off about it.

Because Noah always fucking does this.

And Nick never gets annoyed, ever, remains the perfectly neutral friend at all times, but come on.

Just this once he’d like a little consideration for his time.

He decides he may as well head up to Noah’s room and see what’s taking so long. Not to give him a piece of his mind like he’d like to, but he’ll probably fantasize about it for days to come.

He opens the door without knocking, irritated, but Noah’s name barely makes it past his lips before he’s stopping in his tracks and taking in the sight in front of him.

It’s not anything, really. At first. He’s momentarily annoyed that Noah is sitting at his desk with his headphones on, like they don’t have plans, before he realizes what exactly Noah is doing.

One, Noah has a picture of Nick pulled up on one of his screens, which probably wouldn’t be anything of note if not for the second thing:

Noah’s hand in his lap, moving slowly over himself. Not inside his pants, and not stroking, really, but…rubbing, and then, the third thing:

The sounds he’s making. Subtle. Quiet. Bordering on fucking pornographic. The breathy exhales. The little whines. The quiet moans, so soft that Nick probably wouldn’t be able to make them out if he wasn’t listening so fucking intently.

Noah’s head is tipped back, ever so slightly. His lips parted, so prettily, cheeks flushed. He takes in the scene. He knows he should go, that it’s not right for him to be here. It’s not fair. Noah isn’t actively looking at the picture, it’s fine, could just be a weird little coincidence that he’ll surely never think about again. Until:

Nick hears his name, slipping past Noah’s lips like it’s fucking nothing. Like a prayer.

Oh my god, Nick. Nick, jesus, oh my fucking god.

There’s not really any mistaking that.

He should go. He should close Noah’s door, leave the room, leave the house, maybe the band, probably the country. But he’s glued. Feet glued to the floor and eyes glued to fucking Noah, whining Nick’s name like it’s as easy to him as breathing.

A leap of faith, maybe, but suddenly he’s never needed anything more than Noah’s eyes on him. He forces himself to remain calm for the moment it takes him to walk over to Noah’s desk and slide his headphones off his head to land around his neck and shoulders.

Noah’s spinning his head around so fast it must give him whiplash, looking up at Nick in surprise and annoyance, and once it seems he’s processed who he’s looking at, a panicked recognition.

He almost hates how hot he finds it, Noah looking at him like he is. Terrified. But they both know that Nick wouldn’t hurt him.

What a nice change of pace.

Noah hasn’t even bothered to try to scramble to turn off his monitors. Hasn’t moved his hand from his lap. Hasn’t done fucking anything but stare up at Nick with his lips parted, fearful eyes.

“Whatcha doin’?” Nick asks, shifting his eyes from the monitor, to Noah, to Noah’s hand, still facing palm down in his lap.

“I… you’re early.” Noah excuses, fumbling with his words, hand twitching like he’s thinking about moving it, but Nick’s not so sure he wants that.

“You’re late.” Nick counters, narrowing his eyes, irritation entirely gone but finding fun in playing mad.

Nonetheless, he sinks to his knees and swivels the chair around so he’s at Noah’s feet. Looking up at him, Noah’s expression is shifting, from fear to something less, something different, like an excited nervousness. An uncertainty.

“Were you looking at me?” Nick asks, and Noah’s quiet for a long moment, like he’s considering if there’s a believable lie he could use. Then he nods.

“I’m sorry.” Noah says.

Nick shakes his head. He’s amazed, never realized before how much he likes Noah like this. Small and resigned. Fucking quiet.

“Go ahead.” Nick says, grinning. His eyes pan pointedly from Noah’s face to his lap and back up again. “You’ve got the real thing right here. Go ahead, Noah, keep going.”

Noah doesn’t move. His finger twitches. Nick looks up and his eyes are wide open and unblinking.

“Do you want me to leave?” Nick asks. Somehow, he hadn’t considered the possibility.

Noah shakes his head, thankfully. Then he speaks up, “Please don’t,” and Nick fucking melts.

“Go ahead, then.” Nick says, but Noah doesn’t move. “Noah, I told you to go. Now go.”

Noah starts slow, palming himself and panting. Then he gets brave, slips his hand beneath the waistband of his sweats and god, Nick swears his heart stops for a moment.

Nick lets out a breath as Noah’s hand speeds up on his cock, and it may be the hottest fucking thing he’s ever seen.

“Nick, will you-?”

“I’m not touching you, baby.” Nick interrupts. Noah frowns, whines. “You were doing it like this anyway, yeah? You’ll be okay. I’ll touch you next time.”

At the mention of a next time, Noah’s gasping, shifting in his seat, letting out a long groan.

“Yeah, you want that?” Nick teases, eyes on Noah’s lap, fascinated. He can see Noah nodding his head desperately from the corner of his eye. “Get your cock out and let me see you, Noah.”

Noah groans but complies, pulling his waistband under himself and putting on a show for Nick.

His grip is tight, desperate, his stroke is fast, and he must have already been close when Nick got here, because then,

Noah’s whining, arching his back, cum hitting his t-shirt and spilling over his tattooed fingers, Nick’s name on his lips.

Nick thinks he’s so gorgeous.

Before Noah can say anything, Nick is grabbing a t-shirt from the floor and tossing it at him.

“Clean yourself up. We’re fucking late.” Nick says as he leaves the room and closes the door behind him.

10 minutes later when they’re finally making their way to the car, Noah shoves his phone in Nick’s face, their text messages pulled up on the screen.

Nick’s text reads, I’ll see you at 6.

“I told you you were fucking early.” Noah scoffs, laughing and pocketing his phone again.

#noah sebastian/nick ruffilo #noah sebastian/nicholas ruffilo #bad omens fanfiction #bad omens rpf #bad omens fic #noah sebastian fic #nick ruffilo fic #bad omens fanfic #noah sebastian x nick ruffilo #noah sebastian x nicholas ruffilo #deathblacksmoke works