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generallynerdy · 5 years

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High On the Burn (Carol Danvers X F!Soulmate!Reader)

Summary: In a post-Snap universe, the last thing (Y/N) (L/N) and Carol Danvers want is to meet their Soulmate. But in a very punctual fashion, fate decides to play with matches.

Requested by Anon: See your Steve Rogers soulmate fic has me hooked on the idea. How about a Carol Danvers x Fem!Reader soulmate fic where the reader is a very powerful Avenger and they meet after the decimation but before it is undone. Bonus points if it's angsty because Carol tries to fight the attraction (on account of being scared to lose the Reader), and for short hair!Carol.

Key: (Y/N) - your name, (L/N) - last name Warnings: i have no idea how far into the aftermath carol cut her hair so sue me, Nova calls the Decimation the Snap bc its a superior name, ENDGAME SPOILERS, cursing, angst, that Gay Shit yet again Word Count: 1,447

Note: i think i accidentally created a new soulmate au but im sure someone has done it before? Where u touch and u pretty much get really high and overwhelmed with positive emotion, but if neither one of u wants to meet the other, then its a whole big bundle of Suffering. I may use it again in the future?? Idk. anyway this is really soft!!

The thing about the world ending was that it wasn’t supposed to get worse.

Yeah, the world would fall apart and people would struggle to pick things up again, but no one would ever have to watch half a world of loved ones disappear again. It could never be as bad as the day it happened-- or at least it wasn’t supposed to be.

For (Y/N) (L/N), things were very different.

Being part of the Avengers meant that every day was worse. Every day was another day you couldn’t save the world, another day your failure stared you right in the face and asked: “Why? Why couldn’t you save them?”

The day Tony Stark fell out of the sky was a little victory. Their friend was alive and he had two more with him for the ride. Well, the second part was a questionable victory. For (Y/N), it was a loss.

It was a gut feeling, the first time she made eye contact with the fiery-- literally-- blonde that brought Tony and Nebula back from Titan.

(Y/N) hadn’t been around the first time the woman was really there, but as soon as she got the call that Tony was alive, she raced to the compound. She’d been following leads on Thanos, trying to find him, trying to find anything that could help her kick his ass.

Nothing. There was nothing.

But when she met this woman’s eyes, there was something. There was a spark, a tiny one, but enough to scare the ever loving shit out of her-- out of both of them.

Sparks didn’t happen. Not since the world had ended.

“Hi,” the blonde said, reaching forward to shake (Y/N)’s hand. “Carol.”

“(Y/N),” she replied.

When their hands made contact, there was a sharp burn. It was like fire had engulfed their palms and a sword had stabbed through them at the same time. Carol winced and drew back her hand, while (Y/N) practically yelped.

It wasn’t supposed to be like that-- the burn, the pain.

It was supposed to feel like a high, like a burst of colour and light and love, reaching into your soul and pulling out a new person you didn’t recognise. Your Soulmate.

But this wasn’t love.

This was hatred. This was a glowing ember of hatred, for themselves, for the connection they had.

Who the hell met their Soulmate after the world ended? After the world ended because they couldn’t save it?

And suddenly, it was worse.

The end of the world was worse.

“Oh, shit,” came from Natasha’s mouth as she watched the exchange.

There was an awkward silence. The team would’ve dispersed out of respect, but social rules had since changed after the Snap. All things considered, this was probably the first meeting of Soulmates since the Snap. (Y/N) and Carol were the first.

And privately, (Y/N) hoped they would be the last, too.

“Hi,” (Y/N) whispered, the first to speak.

“Hi,” Carol repeated.

The feeling of being watched, being studied, sent the hairs on the back of (Y/N)’s neck straight up. She felt like a science experiment.

“I wish I could say it was nice to meet you,” she said, scraping for words.

Carol opened her mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “You, too.”

That was the only words exchanged between them for the moment.

Well…

For 6 months.

Despite her initial gut feeling to stay as far away as possible from Carol Danvers, (Y/N) began to miss her. It was a natural instinct to crave her Soulmate, however twisted their meeting was.

She had met Carol’s eyes for no longer than a second and she missed the feeling of them staring at her.

It didn’t help that (Y/N) was constantly interrogated by Bruce on how the separation was affecting her. He wanted to see the changes that the apocalypse made on the Soulmate system. Was it so natural that even half the population dying didn’t alter a Soulmate assignment? Had anything changed?

(Y/N) didn’t know and she didn’t care. Maybe Bruce was using it to distract himself, but she’d rather he didn’t. Just the mention of Carol made her heart rip in half.

Carol didn’t want her. That was what the burn meant.

Given, she hadn’t wanted Carol either, not at that moment, but her views had since changed.

So, she met her Soulmate after the apocalypse and so everything sucked right now, but that didn’t mean she should feel guilty for making an attempt to love her. She was meant to love Carol, Snap or not. The apocalypse shouldn’t get in the way of that. Surely Carol could come to the same conclusion.

Across the universe, a call rang out from the Avengers compound. A few replied.

It was like an intergalactic conference call, with (Y/N) taking the place of Natasha and getting updates from the rest of the team. Rhodey mentioned a missing Clint, Rocket said something about a major war breaking out, and the rest was barely paid attention to. Until Carol finished her report.

“Anything else?”

“No, luckily, it’s just that,” Carol said.

(Y/N)’s very presence seemed to make the woman uncomfortable. Or was she afraid?

Hesitantly, she dared to make things personal.

“You cut your hair,” she said in almost a whisper, a soft smile painting her face.

Carol was taken aback by this, but managed the tiniest sliver of a smirk. “Don’t like it?”

“No, I do,” (Y/N) stammered. “It’s just...different. Good different.”

As soon as the words left her lips, she heard a snort from the raccoon on the other line. (Y/N), one of the more powerful members of the team, shot one glare his way that made him go silent. He disconnected, followed shortly by the others, especially Rhodey, who shot both of them a knowing, encouraging, look.

“Carol--” (Y/N) started as soon as they were gone.

“Don’t,” the woman said. “Please, just don’t. Don’t make it worse.”

“It can’t get any worse,” she protested.

Carol sighed. “(Y/N), it can always get worse. I thought you’d know that by now.”

After a pause, (Y/N) nodded. “You know, you’re right. It can get worse.” Before Carol could be shocked at her sudden admission, she continued. “It gets worse every single day knowing that you’re out there fighting the entire universe and I can’t do anything but call once a month to make sure you’re alive.”

“(Y/N)--”

“I don’t know you, Carol, and it kills me,” she added, disregarding her interruption. “I know we didn’t want this, I know we didn’t want this now, of all times, but we have it. We can’t just not do anything about it.”

“It’s better that way,” Carol protested firmly.

(Y/N) scoffed. “Why? Why is it better that way? How can it possibly be better to let you die without having known you at all?”

“Because it hurts less than knowing me!” Carol huffed, crossing her arms. “I don’t wanna have you and have to lose you, (Y/N), and if that takes not having you at all, then that’s what I’ll do. I can’t lose you.”

“You already have,” her Soulmate spat.

She had to wipe away a tear that made its way down her cheek, contrary to her wishes.

“You’ve already got me, Carol Danvers, like it or not. And you’re already losing me,” she said again. “Please. Come back.”

Carol went quiet, uncrossing her arms and changing to a quiet tone. “Can you promise me you’ll be safe?”

“Never,” (Y/N) laughed a little. “But I couldn’t do that before this happened anyway. Just come back. Come back here and meet me properly, without the burn, without the dumbasses in the next room watching.”

Carol laughed at that, eyes softening at the effect the woman had on her. So that was what it was like to have a Soulmate. It cut and it burned, but she was high on it.

Despite being unable to actually touch (Y/N)-- Bruce had been working on that-- Carol lifted her hand. If she could touch her, her hand would be resting on her jaw, cupping her face ever so fondly. It was a small gesture, but it was something. Though neither could feel it, they may have preferred it to the intense pain of their first touch, that raging fire.

“Please?” (Y/N) asked one more time.

Carol practically melted at the break in her voice. “Okay,” she managed, not wanting to admit how the idea made her heart leap. “Okay. I will.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

(Requests are currently closed. I’m finishing up my old ones.)

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jvlicns · 4 years

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julian amante , twenty - three , cis male , THE TOWER .

amusing , candid , resourceful , petty , cataclysmic , arrogant.

first of all HELLO !! im z. 25 / she+her / pst. im thrilled to be here and honestly a little shocked ?? my app was a rushed MESS but im so happy the admins understood my nonsense !!

this is going to be a lil long so pls bear w me. im going to break it down into sections and eventually make an entire bio , but this will do in the mean time !

connections are here , & my discord is zvvf#1885 !

* tw for mention of drugs & alcohol

. . .

TAROT ━

the tower represents chaos , destruction , & upheaval. this change is usually sudden & unexpected -- & not always good. the tower itself is a symbol of ambition , but in this card we see it built on faulty premises & false beliefs , all of which are no longer useful.

the ruin of the tower is inevitable -- necessary for growth & groundbreaking renewal. it’s time to break out of the old ways.

AESTHETICS ━

cracked asphalt , bloody knuckles , tangerine sunsets. the smell of freshly cut grass . still , slow mornings. a neat row of fire ants , climbing up your bedroom wall. broken stained glass , an overgrown field. tears of laughter , the only you’ll ever shed.

money in a yellow envelope , guilt in your eyes , pressed flowers , a string quartet , corruption , loss of morals , student debt , a yellow light , darkness , hellfire.

THOUGHTS ━

" you’ve got your orders & that’s enough. you don’t know who’s telling you to throw your classmates off the scent , but you’re getting paid to do it. maybe your moral compass would stop you if you didn’t struggle so much in the financial department , but hey. you’re doing what you have to do to survive. if only you didn’t have to go against your better judgment for it. "

GENERAL ━

assigned to REYNOLDS house

fourth year -- senior .

currently working at the corner store as a cashier .

scholarship student -- 2.3 average gpa .

athlete , st. cade’s lacrosse team .

BACKGROUND ━

grew up in a small town in arizona , in one of those unfinished suburbs that ran out of funding halfway through a government project to “ upgrade ” that was met with widespread disapproval. it’s all empty pools & dirt lawns , a patchwork neighborhood of old houses mixed in with the new.

former golden boy who peaked in high school : star athlete , prom king , voted best smile. eternally toeing the line between CHAMPION & DIRTBAG.

well - liked , but known for being something of a hell - raiser. out every night , hungover every morning. it was less obvious back then -- he could easily brush it off as simple youthful rebellion , rather than a real personality defect.

his first taste of alcohol was in seventh grade. a summer night , with the sun retiring for the day but leaving her kiss on the still - warm pavement. his world -- previously filled with sunday school , tense family dinners , & 24 hour marathons of professional passive aggression , was forever changed. finally , the boredom slipped away. & not just that ! this was actually FUN.

but for someone with zero impulse control . . . a door opened , & he never managed to close it.

from a young age , his parents were always involved in the church. they attended every sunday , no excuses.

this lapsed as the years passed & the amante family found it more & more unpleasant to be in the same room together , but his parent’s beliefs never wavered. religion was used as a weapon in their home -- to shame & guilt. they claimed love , preached tolerance. what they practiced , however , was the opposite. as he grew older , julian managed to weasel his way out of most of their theological outings. he gained some freedom , in addition to the ire of his family. their disappointment in him grew from a tiny acorn to a mighty oak.

his parents had their own issues , long before julian came along. a marriage between two irreconcilable people. the love they should have shared mutated into something twisted , something that they could give only to their son. it was enough for them to feed him , clothe him , & put a roof over his head. anything else was simply asking too much.

despite coming from a low - income family , things have never been particularly DIFFICULT for him. sure , they struggled. he’s lost count of the times the power got shut off , or the water. but julian was the type of kid who could charm teachers into bumping his grade up to a 71% , despite the dozens of half - finished assignments & failed tests. he didn’t really have to try -- they just wanted to help him. ( pity , perhaps ? he turns a blind eye )

he coasted through school. one of those natural athletes that coaches & admin treat like celebrities , focusing all their attention on a teenager they have high hopes for. higher hopes than he had for himself , in fact.

julian never had dreams , not a plan for his future. all that stubborn arrogance fooled them : he’s spent the better part of the past seven years stalling. cutting corners & taking shortcuts , desperately avoiding reality.

he never expected to even leave his hometown , let along attend a prestigious college on a full ride lacrosse scholarship. somehow , he played enough games & passed enough classes to qualify for an opportunity that would pluck him from his sad , tragic storyline & deposit him on a shiny path to success. a fresh start.

he didn’t want to go. fought endlessly about it with his parents , his friends , himself. his place wasn’t at some hoity - toity school , surrounded by do - gooders & the conscientious. julian may have a knack for delusion , for spinning a story that suits him in whatever moment is passing. but he’s smart enough knows what his future holds : drinking himself to an early death in the very house he was born in. you can’t fight fate -- but you can surely postpone it.

in the end , it’s the boredom that convinces him. he’s said & done just about everything he can here , exhausted all the options he cares to consider. made plenty of enemies , as well as friends. built & burnt bridges.

the expectation of his teachers , his parents , were choking him. it’s foolish to think that this might be the way out – he’ll never change. but why not have some fun , while he’s still here ?

st.cade’s was a treasure trove for julian , filled with endless opportunities to amuse himself. despite his placement in reynold’s house & the mandatory church shit ( a part of his scholarship’s stipulations ) , it hasn’t been bad. another social scene for him to invade , conquests to be had , fights to provoke. the first few years were amazing : an intoxicated blur of his own little slice of this world.

he lives in the moment , greedily gathering every experience he can. nodding off in class , smoking behind the greenhouse , collecting all the free alcohol he manages to sniff out.

he’s learned this : a loud laugh & bravado can get you far. but now , his actions have finally caught up with him. the school is threatening to terminate his scholarship , to pack up his bags & send him on the first train home. & while he has no idea what to do , he knows he can’t go back. god , no.

even without what’s keeping him – the enticing mystery of helena’s disappearance , his friends , his freedom. he just can’t stand to go in reverse ; it would mean facing the consequences of every mistake he’s ever made ( & there are quite a few ! )

he’s a shark – he has to keep moving.

that first letter came soon after the school - wide assembly. small , neat type. direct. there was no mincing words , the sender made it perfectly clear : this is his only option. if he wants to maintain this lifestyle , this is the way. so he burns the letters , following their instructions. almost relieved to be given direction. it’s a respite in the current disarray – something he used to enjoy , but now just feels exhausting. he’s the band , humming away as the titanic sinks. not my business , he thinks. but he’ll drown all the same.

PERSONALITY ━

he’s an asshole but a F U N asshole -- that makes it palatable , right ??

not a dumbass , but the lack of impulse control + arrogance could have fooled me ! his intelligence is only hinted at , invisible unless you’re looking : reciting keats from memory , listing off all 79 of jupiter’s moons. remnants of past & fleeting obsessions.

has to actively undermine his own common sense -- for the laughs , of course !

selfish ; his needs & wants come before anyone else’s. a childish habit , yes , but one he’s been unable to break. ( not that he’s tried )

vacillates between aloof & dramatic. you can count on him to stir some shit up -- he adores chaos & just can’t keep his mouth shut. petty , to a fault.

he’s hot - shit & he knows it ; well aware of his pretty face & statuesque build. julian’s never been afraid of using it to his advantage , or even just reminding anyone around him of just how cute he is. ( listen up 5′s , a 10 is speaking ! )

has a strong aversion to authority. “ don’t tell me what to do ! ” . . . * quietly takes your advice when you’re not looking * . . .

the good parts of him are buried deep. his loyalty , his gentleness. a warm heart that can easily empathize , but chooses not to. julians pursuit of superficial gratification blinds him , warping his reflection like a funhouse mirror.

aggressive & unrelenting. this could be channeled into something of a work ethic , if he cared enough. instead , he uses it to get what he wants. whatever that might be.

curious as a cat with nine lives , he won’t hesitate to ask the question everyone’s thinking. that bluntness is almost appealing , as long as it’s not directed at you. this makes him somewhat of a good listener , even if he’s only paying attention to satisfy his own nosiness.

he’ll literally fight for the ones he loves. there aren’t many of them , but the sentiment stands. years of sports have taught him the value of teamwork , & he has yet to shake it. once you endear yourself to him , there’s no going back.

despite everything , julian manages to be a charismatic little firebrand. he’ll guarantee a good time , he just won’t help clean up the mess.

FUN FACTS ━

can fit his entire fist in his mouth

has The Loudest Sneeze Of All Time

once bit into an apple n saw a WORM inside so now he hates apples w a passion

right handed , but taught himself to be ambidextrous during the summer between fifth & sixth grade

promptly forgot he was ambidextrous & never uses his left hand

has surprisingly neat handwriting

can fall asleep ANYWHERE

likes country music ( will never admit it , tho )

his mother used to read him poetry , so he’s lowkey Very Into It

can’t carry a tune for shit , & his impressions are a w f u l. his british accent is just a cheap dick van dyke imitation , & his australian accent is what the british one SHOULD be

#atonedintro #i refuse to look at this anymore so im gna go play ac for 6 hourS

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lllvllls-blog · 5 years

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⋆ ◦ ° ☾ cismale + he/his — have you seen vincent janko? they sure have been hanging out at valdez county park a lot recently. they are thirty eight years old known as the raging bull, and they currently work for the cobras as a soldier, which they’ve been doing for nine years. a bisexual capricorn, they are determined + practical, as well as detached + stubborn. knitting needles, smashed terracotta pots, gauze bandages.

this is so long im so sry it’s mostly so i dont fKN FORGET MY BRAINS A SIEVE

HISTORY

this my most anti-social + rage-filled muse so we’ll see how he do... v v v loosely based on jake lamotta in the raging bull film. their personalities are actually a bit different ANYWAY

raised around violence, saw ppl responded to it + listened when used so grew up with the kinda mentality where violence was the only answer

not a great relationship with parents, lack of communication, abusive. vince’s parents married too young, fell out of love quick, took their frustrations out on each other and on their kid who never listened

so kept to himself at home but released aggression at school. a Big Fat Bully rip just picking on ppl all the time - not the weak ones but the strongest

got into a lot of trouble, juvenile diversion, detention etc. hefty fines bc of vandalism, assault etc. then eventually juvie for a short while for assaulting his probation officer. a mess.

age 15, his mum (civilian) left his dad (cobra) and his dad remarried to a fellow cobra. his new mom wanted their own kid but couldn’t so adopted serah. ENTER: actual angel, light of vince’s life. the lil 3 y/o was his everything ok. not only did serah’s arrival soften his dad up a lil but vince had less reason to be angry about things too.

tho their parents were v absent, vince had no problem taking care of serah. in fact he was so happy to do it, even skipped school to spend time with her

stayed out of trouble for serah, joined a boxing club which tamed him a lot, saved his anger for the ring. lost a lot at first but once he started to pick things up the cobras began to take notice as he quickly became the winning bet

doesn’t feel pain like normal people. can just charge + charge + charge @ people no matter how many punches to the head.

didn’t graduate high school but agreed to fight for the cobras + help them fix games for some extra dolla. enjoyed the money as paid back parents, became independent, and begin to save up to move into a house with his gf + financially support serah

never took the initiation tho. always rebelled against his parents and refused to join the cobras despite their wishes. didn’t like the thought of ppl telling him what to do. just wanted to fight, win, go back to his gf + sis with a fat wad of cash

around the age of 23, he enlisted in the army with a bunch of his friends due to ~patriontic~ reasons but before he left married mimi who came from savage parents + eventually initiated when she was 18. had been dating her since he was 16. this was another reason why he swore not to join as a cobra

finds out she’s pregnant whilst he’s away. wasn’t planned. thought of kids scared him bc he never believed he’d be a good dad (spoiler alert: he right)

comes back during leave to meet a lil bb rosie (age 25). elated but terrified. more than the war. goes back to afghanistan, hates not being there. so fucks up his own left ear, sent home with a medical discharge. deaf in one ear. called an animal.

he’s obvs not the same as before, disoriented and a lil traumatized. also wow vince is not the best parent. has sm of his dad’s awful traits that he hasn’t unlearnt but is Trying.

tried to do a normal job as a construction worker but just got into fights all the time, kept getting fired. was convinced to go back into the ring. so he did. but things were different.

he didn’t get the same sense of relief from mindless violence. just needed the money. impact of the war - no release from shooting a gun and taking an innocent person’s life. being a solider was a job in the same way as a fighter. work, work. unsatisfied hunger.

ANYWAY vince’s last fight (age 27), huge odds. cobras told him to lose. his friend bet on him to win against vince’s advice. friend had bet a lot of money. so won the fight. next day his wife was killed.

he thought it was the cobras. turns out it was the savages, they thought she was a snake. not only that but the cobras lost a lot of money. they wanted him to pay it back. he refused to initiate. but serah was pregnant as well. he needed to support the fam + didn’t want no dramaz.

so continued to fight. but now he didn’t know when to stop, didn’t know his limits. began to beat his opponents to death. did the odd job here and there - intimidation, repossession, torture. only to pay off his debts + lowkey protection for his fam

age 29, parents die. livid. paranoid. took cobra initiation for official protection. also a way to hunt down his wife and parents’ killer + get vengeance.

SUMMARY: ex cobra fighter, ex us military, widower, a decent brother (serah’s), trying to be a decent father, now cobra soldier. (all u have to know tbh)

PERSONALITY (?) ish

nine years later, not over it. still angry. still hunting for the savages that killed his loved ones. might even be dead but subconsciously it doesn’t matter to him, convinces himself they’re still alive to cope with guilt. give his life a kind of purpose he thinks is achievable.

it’s pretty obvious to ppl he’s only in the cobras out of his own interest, protection and vengeance. he doesn’t exactly see other cobras as ‘family’ and his jobs are all done solo. just sticks to himself, gets shit done and doesn’t want anyone to bother him.

tryna be a good brother and a good dad and a good husband. crazy overprotective. don’t fucc with them, he’ll kill you. more brawns than brains. not a lot of morals. full of hate and rage. always sounds angry. even if amused. doesn’t talk much. speaks in grunts n gruffs n glares. talks weirdly, goes off tangents a lot.

not book smart but v street smart. don’t bullshit him bc it’ll just piss him off.

once he sets his mind to something that’s it, game over. dont try and change his mind.

ALSO tryna be a better man for his fam. goes to therapy (rarely!!), cut down on drinking A LOT tho sometimes has his moments, smokes privately. works out a lot, does DIY a lot, but also taken on hobbies that require a lot of patience like knitting, gardening, fishing.

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS

childhood friends - vince had a lot more space in his heart for people outside of his family when he was younger. he was more sociable, approachable. wasn’t exactly a social butterfly but had a group of friends etc. that he deeply cared for

kobra kidz on the block - vince’s dad and step-mom were both cobra members. so people he grew up with due to their affiliations? old time friends, old time enemies. frenemies. anything. vince was very vocal about his disregard for the gang tbh. could’ve boxed together etc.

annoyance - a younger chara that just won’t leave him alone lmao. maybe a cobra, maybe not. could be anything.

baby sitter - vince has a daughter called rosie who is 13 y/o. she’s a lil hard nut and hard to control (wonder who she takes after) but anyway he def needs one of these. he’d rely on them a lot.

family/friends of mimi - mimi, his late wife, was a savage. they dated from 16 to her death at age 27. she grew up around savages. she joined out of peer pressure and vince never shied away from telling her fam how much he doesn’t like them. so ppl that opposed her, maybe orchestrated/participated in her death. could be fun.

lonely - vince has only been in love with one woman + still isn’t over her but it’s been nine years and a man has needs. so someone he fucks bc he’s lonely. this person probably knows it too. maybe they’re also lonely.

ex-fling - same sitch as before but the person ended it bc vince was so detached and cold. or maybe they grew feelings and broke it off. either way, vince unintentionally hurt the other person and *charlie puth vc* they don’t talk any mo

garden patch friends - vince has rly gotten into gardening ok. has a little garden patch near where he lives in the suburbs. plants veggies, some flowers. so maybe they have similar interests or have a patch nearby and *gasp* vince can actually talk more than a sentence at a time

#outlaw.intro #// this is unnecessarily long #and has drained my brain #but if anyone wants to plot hit da like #also if u have d*scord pls holla cos #tumblr ims are @@@@@

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penzyroamin · 6 years

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LITERALLY ANY PAIRING BUT DAVEY AS A METICULOUS "I WORK WITH NO ONE EVERYONE DRAGS ME DOWN I'M JUST THAT SMART" ASSASSIN I AM,,,,,, INTERESTED,,,,

i. love. you.

okay so, some quick warnings for mentions of death, poison, and pedophiles. (in the context of them getting killed.) this could have been a lot darker, but im me and therefore didnt write anything graphic. if anyone reads this and finds anything, they’d like me to tag, just say the word and i will!

David could admit that he had a flair for the dramatic. But his choice of career had nothing to do with it– it was just difficult to find work in the current economy.

He could be worse, he could be one of those people who just killed anyone. Sometimes people just fucking deserved to die, and that was why David was doing what he did.

He was jolted out of his thoughts when he heard a loud thump and opened the door, squinting through the crack at the man laying on the ground, then shut the door quietly and made his way out of the house.

Just as he was about to open his car door, checking both directions to make sure that no one was around, someone called after him.

“Wait!”

He whipped around and immediately exhaled upon the realization that whatever asshole decided to interrupt his getaway didn’t seem threatening.

“David Jacobs?” the interrupting asshole said, and, well, that complicated things.

David stared at him for a second, then pointed at the passenger’s seat. “Get in the car.”

Years of being in charge of a little brother apparently made David commanding enough that the guy got into the car in seconds, and David huffed and drove away.

“I’m Jack Kelly,” Mr. Interrupting Asshole said after a while, and David gave him a deadpan look before he turned back to the road.

“I didn’t ask.”

“But you’ll need to know!” Jack said, grinning in a way that let David know he had no clue what he was getting into.

“Why?” David asked, making a sharp turn onto the freeway.

“Plumber says I should be your partner.”

David nearly drove off the road. Of fucking course she was involved.

Jack seemed to sense how David had been caught off guard. “Yeah, she’s a friend of mine. She thinks you could use some help with staying completely off-the-radar.”

David wrinkled his nose. “I’m legally dead.”

“But you’re not subtle.” David scoffed, and out of the corner of his eye he could see Jack raise his eyebrows. “You’re wearing a three piece suit.”

“I’m blending into the upper classes!”

“You always drive the same car.”

“If you think I’m disposing of this car, you’re wrong. If it’s good enough for Bond, it’s good enough for me.”

“Are you really comparing yourself to James Bond?” Jack scoffed, and David was tempted to pull over so he could glare at him without any danger.

“I’m fucking better than Bond. Does Bond get paid good money to kill pedophiles? I think not.”

Jack sighed. “Plumber just said that if you don’t want to be recognized, you’ve got to have someone watching your back.”

Goddamn Katherine. David let her help one time, and then she started dating his sister and trying to get him to meet people. Newsflash– when one legally dies at age nineteen and proceeds to take on twenty-seven fake identities, dating probably isn’t the most brilliant idea for them.

And here she was, trying to give him an unneeded and annoyingly attractive sidekick of sorts. He didn’t need a sidekick.

David bit the inside of his cheek. “This is hard to say.”

“You need me.”

“Not need,” he said, affronted, and Jack grinned.

“You think I’m awesome and you’ll totally let me be your partner.”

“You’re strictly here for convenience purposes,” David corrected. “This does not mean I hate you any less or that I am any less brilliant and capable.”

“Tell that to your burning warehouse.”

David shot a mournful look over his shoulder at what was become a smoking speck on the horizon, surrounded by fire engines. “She was a good hideout.”

Jack pretended to pour out a glass. “So, partner, what’s our next task?”

“Hey, now. You’re a sidekick and strictly a sidekick.”

“I saved your ass. I’m your partner.”

“Sidekick!” David said, and Jack just laughed loudly as the light turned red and David sped forwards, far away from worry.

“So,” Jack said, far too peppy for nine in the morning and surrounded by deadly substances, hopping up onto the counter next to David, “what’re we using?”

David capped the bottle, taking off his goggles. “First off, please wear gloves in here. Second, poison. His wife, who hired us, makes him a drink every evening. It gets slipped in there, he’s out, we sneak the wife and kid out to the aunt’s until the police find the body.”

“Dope. What kind of poison?”

David gave him a critical look. “You have a truly morbid obsession with this.”

“It’s the art of killing awful people, what’s not to love?” David wasn’t quite sure if Jack was kidding, but it was still mildly disturbing. It was how David made a living, but it wasn’t like he was thrilled by the prospect of deadly poison.

“A mix of my own,” he said eventually. “Colorless, odorless, doesn’t dilute anything that it’s put in. After forty-five minutes, basically undetectable, but always deadly.”

Jack tilted his head. “You invented this?” David hummed in affirmation. “Damn.”

“Thank you?”

“You’re like some sorta mad scientist or shit.”

David tried to pretend like he knew whether or not that was a compliment.

“Why do you do this?” Jack asked quietly, and David knew that that conversation would last longer than he would have liked it to. “Besides money,” Jack added, in that mildly haunting way he’d started guessing what David was going to say.

David exhaled slowly, looking up at the stars. They were staying in a campsite in California that night, in between jobs and looking for a nice place to spend the night. David was a city person– he wished that he was able to spend more time in high-up apartments and fancy restaurants– but he liked being where he was. It was quiet, and more peaceful, even with Jack there.

(Especially with Jack there?)

“I guess because there are people that the world would be better off without.”

Neither of them spoke for a while, sitting in silence while the moon advanced across the sky.

“I heard about people who do it for the money or because someone’s different or because they don’t care enough to worry about their effect,” Jack said, spaces between the words sometimes like he was worried about saying the wrong thing. “I never heard about anyone like you.”

“Is that good or bad?” David asked, only slightly joking. Jack turned to look at him, his eyes seeming to scan over and analyze and understand each inch and minute and semblance of David’s being within seconds.

Jack paused. “Good, I think. You… you do things for the right reason.”

They stayed in the position that they were in, inches away from each other and both thinking so hard that their thoughts practically buzzed in the air as if they were electric, until Jack laughed breathlessly and closed the last few inches to kiss him.

“Soooooo,” Sarah said, insufferable even from hundreds of miles away, “is my girlfriend the most brilliant of geniuses ever or what?”

“Your girlfriend,” David said, looking around him at the few people bold enough to brave the heat and move sluggishly around town, “is just as stubborn as you.”

Sarah laughed in that way of hers that was always somewhere between a giggle and a cackle. “That’s how I know that we’re meant to be. It’s a match made in the stars.”

“Sure, Saz.”

He could feel her smiling through the pay phone. “So you totally love him?”

David looked at Jack, who was leaning against the phone booth, smiling widely at David and holding a fresh watermelon from the farmer’s market like it was a child.

“I think I’m going to keep him around.”

#newsies #david jacobs #jack kelly #javid #katherine plumber #sarah jacobs #penzy writes #anyways!!!!! tysm for the prompt #ill rb the list again in a little bit in case anyone wants to send me more while i finish up the second!

18 notes · View notes

jonghyn · 7 years

Text

tagged by @daegupan thank you

tagging @nctsjeffery and uhhh anyone else that wants to do this

how old are you? 18, birthday is jan 18

what’s your current job? i dont have a job JOB but like i help out my mom and some relatives like with housework and stuff and get paid that way. i’ve been looking into getting a real job tho.. god i hate being an adult

what are you talented at? i think i can draw pretty well? kind of? idk. im also pretty good at cooking

what’s your aesthetic? rainy nights, 4 am silence except for passing cars, sitting n looking at the stars w someone u love, big sweaters, (is pasta an aesthetic bc...me), the first snow, the sound of cracking fire, telling someone how much they mean 2 u for the first time..

do you collect anything? is it bad to say i collect kpop shit :( i feel like that’s so stupid and it is but honestly i love it.. i recently bought a signed hakyeon polaroid... help me

what’s a topic you always talk about? how fuckin tired i am, conspiracy theories, new songs that im into

what’s a pet peeve of yours? ppl who are just loud.. like... be quiet.. indoor voices... also people who think they’re better than you at everything

three songs you recommend: diphylleia grayi - jonghyun . kickin back - mila j. anchor - sophia black

height: 5′4

last movie you watched: i think it was lights out idk

why did you choose your url? i love jonghyun more than anything else on this entire planet

do you have any other blogs? i have a fic rec blog and uh... i may or may not have a nsfw blog :/

what did your last relationship teach you? never been in one

religious or spiritual? neither

average hours of sleep: like 10

(lesser known) favorite character: i dont really have any? lesser known i mean. i really like the persona 5 protagonist tho

#literally just tagging you bc ur my only friend askjkjsajkcsa #anywaysss #thanks this was interesting #tag

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deadgwen · 7 years

Text

IT IS A HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY TO THE BEST GOAT

@fucshias @jiilys MY LOVE GOATY. MY MOST BEAUTIFUL GOAT. MY SUN. MY STARS. MY BEAUTIFUL HOOVED CREATURE OF GOD. I HAVE ARRIVED TO SAY SOME IMPORTANT THINGS BUT FIRSTLY I LOVE YOU I LOVE I LOVE YOU U R READING THIS POST RIGHT NOW DUE TO A VERY IMPORTANT REASON AND THIS IMPORTANT REASON IS THAT

*CHOKES BACK TEARS*

IT IS UR BIRTHDAY.

*SCREAMING*

OK OKI DOKI BEFORE I START: I AM NOT ACTUALLY HERE BUT DO NOT BE D I S E N H E AR T E N E D BC I JUST DONT HAVE WIFI BUT I PROMISE U SOMEWHERE OUT THERE I AM SULKING AND FIGHTING A WALL AND ALSO SETTING OFF FIREWORKS BC !!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS UR FUCKING DAY AND IM SORRY I COULD NOT WISH U BUT I LOVE U SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH I AM HERE W/ U IN SPIRIT

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT TURN THE FUCK UP HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY TO MY LOVE HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U UR EXCELLENT AND I LOVE YOU AND ALSO WHAT THE FUCK BINCH HOW ARE U SEVENTEEN TODAY U ASSHOLE (COPYRIGHT U KNOW WHO) WHO ALLOWED U TO BE LIKE THIS AND ALSO I LOVE YOU. AND ALSO I CANT BELIEVE UVE DONE THIS. UR LITERALLY SEVENTEEN TODAY I AM NOT ALRIGHT AND I NEED U TO HOLD ME BECAUSE I AM GOING TO COME OVER AND FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF BEING A DRAMATIC BITCH I WILL FAINT IN UR ARMS I AM 100% NOT ALRIGHT

like,,,, HONESTLY u are so. fucking. great. WHERE DO I EVEN START.

FIRST AND FOREMOST I WANNA SAY I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED FOR THIS FOR UR BDAY I LOVE YOU GOATY I AM SO PUMPED THAT UR SO OLD ITS RIDICULOUS @ ME FUCK OFF ALRIGHT BUT. JUST. I LOVE I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY U GOAT UR BEYOND INCREDIBLE

UR OFFICIALLY A DANCING QUEEN UR YOUNG AND SWEET. ONLY. *SMASHES OPEN MY WINDOW AT 12 MIDNIGHT* SEVENTEEEEEEEEEEEEEN

SO OH MY GOD. I AM CURRENTLY YELLING BECAUSE??????????? LIKE???????????????? YOU'RE SEVENTEEN??????? HOW DID WE EVEN COME TO THIS POINT ITS INSANE LIKE HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU SEVENTEEN WE'RE ALL JUST STILL TINY SMOLS WHERE ARE U GOING WHY ARE U GROWING OLDER STOP IT PLS ALRITE I DO NOT LIKE. MY PRECIOUS GOAT SUNSHINE WHO IS A PROFESSIONAL PAJAMA CONSULTANT A REAL SOLID BUSINESSWOMAN WHO DRIVES AND SHIT AND COULD PROBABLY RUN ME OVER AND IS 6'3 SO IF U WOULD SIT ON ME I WOULD MOST CERTAINLY DIE UR OFFICIALLY A DANCING QUEEN AND I AM CRYING

but in all seriousness I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU i am FOREVER AND EVER glad that i met u LIKE I FUCKIN HATE U GODMDAN FUCKIBG GOAT MAKING ME REBLOG THIGNS FUCK YUO FUCK O FF but like????? apart from that UR FUCKING BEYOND FABULOUS and i have decided to compile a list of reasons why u are unbelievably great and have earned ur title of being a dancing queen/brilliant goat/actual love of my life. bc u are excellent. AND IT MUST BE WRITTEN OUT HERE SOMEWHERE THAT I LOVE YOU.

OK OK OK SO HERE WE GO BINCHES. PREPARE URSELF. THIS IS GONNA BE SUPER LENGTHY BECAUSE I LOVE YOU A LOT AND I AM GONNA DO A 'ON THE JELLICOE ROAD' WORTHY REVIEW OF U BUT LIKE A SHITTIER VERSION SO U BETTER FUNKIN BUCKLE UP BITCH

LEZGO:

IS OBVIOSULY FABULOUS

IS A REAL LIFE GIRAFFE

WE ARE BLESSED TO HAVE ONE ROAM OUT OF CAPTIVITY LIKE............. WE ARE STRONGLY BLESSED

I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH

CLAIMS TO HAVE 'barely any leg but a huge torso' and interpret this how u want bUT i just wanna say u r the most fucked up giraffe ever ok what the fuck WHO HURT YOU

apparently dis binch owns a bunny AND NEVER TOLD ME SHE DID

owns a problematic rabbit bc it pees everywhere

said problematic rabbit likes to pee everywhere so much its ridiculous it has no respect for the value of items of modern society and thus in my opinion should be sent to COURT

@ rabbit U NASTY OK PLS GET UR PRIORITIES SORTED???? THIS HAS BEEN A MOTHERFUCKING PSA THANK U (CAROLINE I AM TRUSTING YOU TO SHOW THIS ON UR PHONE TO THE GODDAMN BUNNY I NEED IT TO KNOW)

is 100% excellent at looking after drunk people ALRITE literally THIS WOMAN IS A SAINT who has saved REAL LIVES tbh where would that poor child from your old intermediate be if u hadn't SAVED HIS ENTIRE LIFE from all that tequila he would DEAD thats fuKCIN RIGHT U DESERVE ALL THE MEDALS A TRUE HERO AMONG NEW ZEALANDERS. A NATIONAL ICON. SO BRAVE I AM SO PROUD I LOVE YOU ALWAYS

AND ALSO PULLING DRUNK MAKING OUT PEOPLE OFF EACH OTHER I JUST WANT U TO KNOW THAT UR EFFORTS ARE SO VERY RECOGNIZED BECAUSE ONE TIME I DID THAT AND I GOT PUNCHED IN THE THROAT I THOUGHT I DIED BECAUSE I SAW JESUS BUT IT WASNT ACTUALLY JESUS IT WAS JUST A POSTER TAPED TO A FRIDGE I WAS SCAMMED

her own mum has called the police on her and was 100% ready for some quality fun family jailtime

ALSO ONE TIME GOATY ACCIDENTALLY FUCKED UP SOMEONES REAR MIRROR AND THE VICTIMS OF THE INCIDENT DID NOT GIVE HALF A FUCK HOWEVER, HER MOTHER GOATY REPORTED SEVERAL FUCKS TO THE POLICE AND FILED AN ACCIDENT REPORT AND THAT WAS THE DAY MY GOATY BECAME A DARK CRIMINAL

*OMINOUS MUSIC*

I AM STILL WAITING FOR THE DAY I WALK MY BUTT INTO COURT AGAINST UR MUM COVERED HEAD TO ASS IN $3 PLASTIC BRACELETS BACKED BY UR UNEXPECTEDLY KLEPTOMANIAC SISTER AND A BASKET OF STOLEN WOMANS DAYS AND ALONG WITH BLING BLING JIMMY WE WILL RESTORE THE RIGHTEOUSNESS AND LACK OF CONSCIENCE ON THIS LOVELY EARTH

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ENOUGHT ABOUT UR MUM LIKE ACTUALLY ALL UR FAMILY MEMBERS ARE DIFFERENT LEVELS OF WILD AND..... I AM AFRAID

OK OK IT MUST BE SAID CAROLINE HAS THE MOST AMAIZNG VOICE ????? EVER

like i love her voice sm SO FUCKING MUCH I TELL U i have never heard anything like it and i want caroline to like read me books for hours AND HOURS AND NARRATE MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE because i love how unusually deep and shadowy her voice sounds like deep flowing river water or smth like i LOVE IT SO MUCH it. Is.So. Strange BUT I LOVE IT IT IS THE COOLEST GODDAMN THING THROW A BUCKET AT ME I LOVE YOU

HAS A VIDEO OF HERSELF DOING THE ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE AND I KNOW I HAVE PRAISED IT FOR TWO YEARS IN A ROW ALREADY LIKE @ ME PLZ CHILL BUT i will not i will NEVER it is solid entertainment a+++ QUALITY I AM LAUGHIGN IM LAUGHING I AM LAUGHING FOREVER those beautiful hops of pain across ur backyard ARE THE LAST THINGS I WANT TO SEE BEFORE GOD TAKES ME FROM THIS EARTH

WRONGFULLY FRAMED ME FOR HAVING SHIT DICK TENDENCIES AND THEN YELLED AT ME AND CALLED ME A GARAGE WHAT A BINCH I AM IN LOVE

loves yellow flowers AND ALL THE FLOWERS AND HEAVY ROSES AND IS A FULL OUT FLOWER HOE

IS DESPICABLE TEEN WOLF GARBAGE LIKE.... ive been scrolling through our fanmails AND MY HEART HUR T S G O A T Y hOld mE we were sO Y O U N G and like no lie i shit u not 80% oF THE FUCKING MESSAGES ARE U YELLING 'STYDIA IS GONNA HAPPEN THIS SEASON' AND 'OH MY GOD DID U SEE THAT STYDIA SCENE' AND DECLARATIONS OF LOVE FOR LYDIA MARTIN AND THE OTHER 20% IS U ASKIN ME IF IVE SEEN THE NEW TEEN WOLF I LOVE IT I LOVE YOU I AM SORRY TEEN WOLF KEEPS DISAPPOINTING US BOTH BUT STDYIA IS. DEFINIETELY. GONNA. HAPPEN. THIS. SEASON. IT HAS TO OR I WILL FUKIN FITE ALRIGHT GIVE US STYDIA OR GIVE US DEATH I LOVE UR TEEN WOLF LOVIBG ASS

anyway caroline is an utterly excellent person

if u were an ncea paper i would grade u with excellence

*FINGER GUNS*

like ?????deals with my stupid yelling ALL THE TIME

whenever i had a problem and went to my goaty she was so very understanding and patient AND DID NOT CALL ME A DUMBASS WHEN I DESERVED TO BE DECKED

TOLD ME THE TRU DEFINTION OF THE PHRASE 'SHOT'

TWO YEARS OF UTTER CONFUSION. ERASED FROM MY LIFE. PERMANENTLY.

MY SKIN?? CLEARED . MY FUTURE BILLS ??? PAID MY HUSBAND MARRIED MY STATUE FOR CAROLINE FULLY ERECTED

ok but like i can never say this enough goaty IS SO NICE TO TALK TO PLETAHE TALK TO ME FORVER SHE IS FABULOUS??? it blows my mind constantly that someone this incredible and special walks along this earth NONE OF US DESERVE THE GOAT

also ???? WHAT IN THE FUCK HOW HAVE I NOT MENTIONED THIS YET CAROLINE IS THE BEST WRITER I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE SHE IS SO TALENTED EVERY TIME I READ ONE OF HER FICS I END UP THINKING ABOUT IT AFTERWARDS FOR 958495894 YEARS ALRIGHT THEY FUCK ME UP THEY WAY SHE HANDLES WORDS FUCKS ME UP HOW CAN YOUT TAKE FUCKING LETTERS AND THEN SHOVE THEM UP MY ASS LIKE THIS I AM NOT ALRIGHT I AM NOT ALRIGHT I AM NOT ALRIGHT I am Not Strong Enough For This

i am not even kidding ok THE WAY U HANDLE WORDS IS IN.FUCKING.CREDIBLE whenever u use them its like?? u turned them into something precious and all your writing have this feel to it like as if im holding a delicate bouqet of a thousand yellow flowers like im holding a butterfly in my hands like im holding a box of eggs and i am scared shitless to drop it bC MY DAD WILL PERSONALLY CRUCIFY ME

I AM AWFUL AT DESCRIPTIONS BUT I HOPE U SEE WHAT I MEAN. LIKE. IT IS SO *SCREAMS* MINBLOWING DECK ME WITH ALL UR WORDS EVER

I AM ONE HUNDRED FUCKING PERCENT NEVER OKAY WITH ANYTHING YOU WRITE IT HURTS SO GOOD AND I LOVE IT

ok ok this hoe right here has written THREE fics with a dedication for me at the beginning and like.............. ..... do u ever just cri

i have 'the glorious everywhere' printed out and FUCKING PINNED TO MY WALL WHERE I CAN SEE IT FROM ALL CORNERS OF MY ROOM ALWAYS back in my apartment in russia like it is legitimately the best thing. i love everything about this piece it should be adapted into a novel or a short film like PULL SOME FIFTY SHADES OF GREY SHIT W/ IT OK the imagery and REALNESS of this fic gets to me all the time and im crying im crying im crying I ABSOLUTELY ADORE IT PLS @ CAROLINE WHY ARE U SO TALENT

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT LOOK AT THIS BULLSHIT FUCKIG I THINK ABOUT THIS FIC EVERY SINGLE DAY WHEN I WAKE UP FUCKING LOOK ' You see her hair dripping down her head and spinning out over the seats in the back and lighting them on fire. You see her pale skin and electric veins as she puts her hand out the window and tries to catch the sky and stuff it up her sleeve. You hear her voice, “Just drive James, you’ll know where we’re going when we get there.”

REALLY I AM NOT FUCKIGN Okay CALL AN AMBULANCE CALL IT NOW I AM UNWELL I AM SICK I AM DYING FUK ME RITE UP

i am fully convinced this is the greatest thing thats ever been written.like. How. the. FUCK. tbh i want this paragraph ENTIRELY TATTOOED ON MY ASS I AM ZCRYING @ CAROLINE YOU HAVE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BRAIN AND I AM SO VERY GLAD THAT IT EXISTS

i will not go into depth abt yelling about ur fics bc tbh i think u Know but I JUST WANNA SAY 'oh darling i have coloured blood (that i stole from you)' is the most iconic piece of literature to this day ever the and i zcri all the time because you are a goddamn bloody genius and you shine in colours beyond my comprehension and i love you so so so incredibly much

MY LOVE IS SO FUCKING TALENTED I AM YELLING I AM YELLING I AM YELLING

DOESN'T EAT FRIED SPERM

writes the BEST emails in history

UR SO LOVELY U GIVE ME SO MANY BEAUTIFUL SPELLING ERRORS FOR ME TO WHOLEHEARTEDLY ENJOY I AM GIGGLING *GIGGLES* IT BRINGS ME SO MUCH JOY WHEN U FUCK THINGS UP

tbh it is how fried chair came to life like it was actually in one of your first fanmails to me u said that two years ago and to this day it remains the Most Iconic Thing Ever

STRONG SUPPORTER OF WEETBIX

LOVES WEETBIX

FOUGHT TIGERS AND LIONS FOR HER FAMILY AND WAS SAVED BY WEETBIX AND WEETBIX ALONE

ACTUALLY HAD A THING CALLED ‘WEETBIX DISCOURSE’ ON HER BLOG LIKE IT WAS ACTUALLY A THING THAT HAPPENED A REAL THING THAT OCCURED AND WAS PASSIONATELY ARGUED ABOUT AND I HAVE SEEN THINGS THAT CANNOT BE UNSEEN

RIGHTFULLY SO BC WEETBIX >>>>> JONAH GRIGGS I AM SORRY IT IS THE RULES

FUCK THE H8RS

like ??? is hilarious af QUEEN OF HUMOUR AND MAKING ME SNORT MY GODDAMN CHOCLATE MILK LIKE CAN U NOT BE SO EXCEPTIONAL U HO HAVE SOME CONSIDERATION U LIL BITCH but YES a++ top notch QUALITY storytelling skills in both fic writing and tequila struggles I APPRECIATE IT TO DEATH

ok ok ok also the most beautiful person ever??? LIKE ???????????????? BITCH WHAT THE FUCK ??????????????????????????????????????????????? WHO ALLOWED U

THE MOST PERFECT HAIR. ur hair is like waves of a golden ocean cascading from ur hEAD AND IT IS SO MAGICALLY FITTING B/C U R AN ETHEREAL BEING AND THE FACT THAT U HAVE AN ENTIRE WILD SEA RAGING ON UR HEAD JUST PROVES TO ME THAT U ARE A GOD AMONG MORTALS. UR HAIR IS SO PRETTY OK OK OKAY FUCK ME UP. STRAIGHT UP GORGEOUS. SO SOFT TOO AND SO SHINY AND IT FITS U SO WELL I AM FOREVER SCREAMING

THE MOST ANGEL FACE. GOATYS FACE LOOKS LIKE GOD OR WHOEVER THE FUCK WAS RESPONSIBLE CARVED IT OUT OF ROSE PETALS AND MARBLE LIKE. IT. IS. TRULY. THE MOST GORGEOUS THING ur face is softer than clouds tbh AND UR SMILE SAVES MY LIFE ITS BRIGHTER THAN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE CONDENSED AND SOMETIMES WHEN I SEE UR SELFIES I HAVE TO GO GET LASER EYE SURGERY BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN B L I N D E D

U R SO UNCONSIDERATE TO MY FRAGILE HEALTH HOW DARE YOU

SO. GODDAMN GORGEOUS SLAY MY ENTIRE LIFE I BEG U ID PAY U TO SIT ON ME WITH UR HUGE BONES AND SLOWLY CRUSH ME INTO AN ENDLESS DEATH I HAVE $4 LEFT OVER FROM MY LIFE SAVINGS DO IT BAE

has the best taste in music omg WHAT A BLESSING WE LIKE THE SAME SONGS AND IT ACTUALLY KIND OF SCARES ME B/C IT FEELS LIKE WE ARE THE SAME PERSON AND THIS DOES NOT HELP MY CONSTANT STATE OF EXISTENTIAL CRISIS

HAS THE BEST TASTE IN BOOKS and adores skam as much as i do AND LOVES CHRIS/EVA AS MUCH AS IDO AND WROTE A FIC FOR THEM AND THE SNIPPET FROM IT ????? MY SOUL. GONE.

so tol and will never stop accusing me of being smol but listen up aight. imma FUCK YOU UP. REAL GOOD. ONE DAY. WHEN I CAN AFFORD TO BUY A LADDER. UNTIL THEN SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN BINCH BC I AM COMING TO GET U

and is also the smartiest smart to ever smart LOOK AT MY U GO WITH UR EXCELLENCE ENDORSEMENT when i buy that ladder I WILL CLIMB IT AND HOVER AROUND UR HEAD LOTS SO I CAN ABSORB UR POWERS AND ALSO BREATHE THE FRESH AIR UP THERE WHICH IS NOT AVAILABLE TO GROUNDED PEASANTS SUCH AS ME

AND IS THE BEST COOKIE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE LIKE IF THIS ISNT ENOUGH TO CONVINCE ANYONE THAT CAROLINE IS BEYOND EXCEPTIONAL FOR OUR GALAXY THEN THEY CAN FUCK OFF PLS OK

like honestly,,, MY LOVE I COULD GO ON FOR YEARS AND YEARS AND CENTURIES UNTIL MY TEETH FALL OUT AND I GROW SENILE WITH MY LOVE BUT THE POINT OF THIS HOT STEAMING LAME MESS IS THAT I LOVE YOU TO BLOODY PIECES UR SO F U C K I N G INCREDIBLE I AM SO GLAD I MET YOU AND THAT YOU TAlk TO ME AND WE EMAIL EACH OTHER AND I AM BLESSED THAT YOU EVEN THINK OF ME AND THAT FREID CHAIR LOVES ME AND THAT U R MY GOAT BC UR MY ONLY GOAT AND UR THE BEST ONE THERE IS NO SHADE @ ALL OTHER GOATS BUT LIKE. IM SORRY I CANNOT TELL A LIE

IT IS THE COLD HARD TRUTH.

and like??? i did a /search/deadgwen ON @jiilys BC I WANTED TO LOOK AT ALL OUR OLD STUFFS FROM 2015 and I Regret it I Regret it So Much theres a selfie from like when i was 14 and an idiot still on Ur blog and I look like an actual tragedy I Want to Die we have known each other for so long its RIDICULOUS UR STILL AS AMAZING AS U WERE BACK THEN AND I AM MORE OR LESS CURED OF MY CONDITION OF BEING AN EMBARASSING DIPSHIT AND ITS CRAZY HOW MUCH YOUNGER WE WERE THEN LIKE UM WTF BUT UR STILL AS BEAUTIFUL AND 9384930X TIMES MORE AND I STILL LOVE U BC UR PERFECT AS EVER AND THAT IS WHAT MATTERS

NOW. I WAS GONNA MAKE YOU A PRESENT LIKE I REALLY DID BAE I TRIED SO MUCH SHIT ITS HORRIBLE BC LIKE ??? I WANTED TO MAKE YOU A PRESENTATION ON UR GOAT SUPERIORTY LIKE I DID LAST YEAR EXCEPT Like i am a fucking asshole™(COPYRIGHT JONAH GRIGGS THE MAN TEH MYTH THE LEGEND) who cannot do shit FOR SHIT it turned out so Awful and i cANNOT GRAPHIC BABE I TRIED TO MAKE YOU THIS EDIT AND THEN I REALIZED IT WAS Bad AND FOUGHT MYSELF FOR SIX HOURS AND I CANNOT WRITE AND YOU DESERVE ALL THE GIFTS EVER BUT I AM TRULY AWFUL

*ZCRIES*

I KNOW IM LAME AND MY ONLY TALENT IS YELLING FOR HOURS ON END I WISH I COULD HAVE MADE YOU SOMETHING REALLY COOL BC ITS UR SEVENTEETH AND 17 IS THE BEST NUMBER AND UR LOVELY AND I LOVE YOU SO PLEASE FORGIVE ME BAE FOR BEING AN ACTUAL GARAGE ASSHOLE (COPYRIGHT JONAH GRIGGS THE EXPERIENCE) SHIT DICK 100% TERRIBLE DICKFLUTE OKAY I LOVE YOU AND I CAN NEVER IMAGINE WHAT I WOULD BE WITHOUT YOU IN MY LIFE AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A REALLY REALLY REALLY GOOD YEAR LIKE FUCK SHIT UP BAE UR GONNA BE IN YEAR 13 ITS ALL GONNA BE SO AWFUL AND WE WILL ALL DIE aND WERE SO O L D JESUS CHRIST IF HEART ATTACKS DONT TAKE US OUT NCEA LEVEL 3 WILL BUT I HOPE THIS WILL BE A SUPER GOOD YEAR FOR U IN REGARDS OF EVERYTHING BECAUSE U DESERVE IT U DESERVE IT U DESERVE IT I HOPE THINGS WILL LEAD UP TO U GETTING THAT APARTMENT IN NEW YORK AND ALL THE HIGH HEELS THAT U WILL WEAR AND ALL THE YELLOW FLOWERS THAT U WILL BUY AND UR CAREER AS A LIFECHANGING LITERARY GENIUS OK OK I LOVE YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE

ok ok ok but.

ONE MORE THING.

LISTEN.

THE FUCKING

*CLECNHES JAW*

REBLOG FIASCO

*FLINGS MY ASS INTO THE SUN*

WHEN IT IS GOOD AND DAYLIGHT. U HAVE UNTIL THEN. LIKE I KNOW THIS IS UR BIRTHDAY WISH AND I LOVE YOU BUT FUCK OFF HWO COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME I FUCKING TRUSTED YOU I FUCKING FUCK JUST FUCK YOU FUCKING DICK i will RIOT

OKAY BABE ITS MIDNIGHT AND ILL BE UP IN ABOUT SIX HOURS AND LIKE. ANYTHING. ANYTHING ELSE FOR UR BIRTHDAY WISH OK BABE IM GONNA FUCKING DIE THIS IS IT THIS THE END I WILL GO DOWN SWEARING PROFUSELY WITH A HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE AND U WILL BE WATCHING AND LAUGHI G ANF @OFFICALTALL FUCK YU FUCKDUCKUD CUDCKUD DNUSJNDJF FUCK U @GOATY FUCK. UFCN WHERE IS UR HOOF WHY ARE U NOT FEELIN THE TEMPERATURE ITS EBOLA ITS GOATBOLA I WONT MAKE IT UNTIL DAWN I WONT SEE THE SUNLIGHT GOATY I CANT *FAKE CRYING SOUNDS* I WILL DIE. IT WILL HAPPEN. AND I WANT IT TO BE KNOWN THAT U ARE THE BITCH THAT KILLED ME. *MORE FAKE ZCRYING SOUNDS* I MUST SEND MESSAGES TO ALL MY DEAREST KIND FRIENDS WHO HAVE NEVER FUCKED ME LIKE THIS ALRIGHT *FAKE COUGHING* TELL THEM THAT I *MORE FAKE COUGHOGN* LOVE THEM *THROWS KETCHUP PACKET EVERYWHERE WHILE UR NOT LOOKING AND BUSY BEING WORRIED ABOUT MY HEALTH* AND I WILL REMEMBER THEM EVEN IN DEATH

ANYWAY HERE IS MY WILL:

WHAT U GET:

nothing

u get nothing

bINCH

zero. zip. nada

0 potato 4 u

U CAN HAVE THE SALT FROM MY KITCHEN SO U WILL BE PERPETUALLY REMINDED OF MY LAST EMOTIONS TOWARDS THIS LIFE

maybe like the one half a potato that was randomly in my drIVEWAY THAT ONE TIME

M A Y B E

WHAT GOOD KIND LOVING FRIENDS, SUCH AS MILS AND FRIED CHAIR AND ELLIE AND OTHER ASSORTED PEOPLES WHICH I SHALL ADDRESS IN CLAUSE 4.20 OF THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF MY WILL, GET:

actually mils is a hoe and can choke but u r the evil here rn aND FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS ARGUMENT WE WILL PRETEND THAT I LIKE MILS

ANYWAY. REALLY GOOD THINGS I OWN

I HAVE SOME SOCKS I DONT WANT U GUYS CAN HAVE THEM

AND LIKE

MY DUVET

SEE GOATY THESE ARE THE KIND OF HEART TOUCHING POST DEATH GIFTS U MISS OUT ON WHEN U MURDER ME IN COLD BLOOD

ALSO NO TOUCHING MY MANGOES THAT I BOUGHT TWO DAYS AGO BECAUSE I STILL WANT TO EAT THEM AND IF ANYONE EVEN BREATHES IN THEIR GENERAL DIRECTION I WILL BEAT THEM UNCONSCIOUS WITH A TELEPHONE THIS IS A T H R E A T

I HOPE UR TAKING NOTES AND I HOPE U FEEL GOOD ABOUT BEING A 6′3 KILLER BECAUSE UR AN ASSHOLE ™LIKE UR ASSHOLIER™ THAN THE REAL ASSHOLE THAT IS JONAH GRIGGS™ THE LABEL™ (COPYRIGHT JONAH GRIGGS™ THE ANT MURDERING HOT PIECE OF ASS™) BUT I WILL DIE FOR U MY GOAT *strokes ur pretty face* BC IT IS UR BIRTHDAY WISH FOR ME TO SUFFER AND I LOVE YOU AND I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR U THEREFORE . DESPITE THIS SICKNESS *FLAILS* I. WILL. BE. BRAVE. I WILL REBLOG THOSE TWENTY POSTS I WILL FLATLINE BY THE THIRD POST AND MY BLOOD WILL BE ON UR HANDS *CAREFULLY ARRANGES MY STUNT GOAT IN POSITION* AND I WILL BE YELLING CURSES AT YOU IN THE TAGS BUT I WILL DIE IN THE NAME OF HONOUR I WILL GO DOWN AS A GOAT NEVER HAS BEFORE

BUT LIKE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU AND I I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC I AM SO HAPPY U EXIST. HAVE THE BOMBEST ASS 17TH BIRTHDAY BABE I HOPE UR PARTY IS LIT AND HAVE FUN GETTING DRUNK AND HAVING ALL THE BANTS AND LAFFS AND ALSO I WILL SEND U THE AWAITED EMAIL IN A FEW HOURS WHEN MY INTERENT IS BACK ON BECAUSE IT IS A CONTINUATION OF THIS BULLSHIT WITH SOME STRUCTURED DISCUSSION AKA WHAT THE FUCK DO U HAVE AGAINST SMIRNOFF ICE how is it not HARDCORE enough for u IT IS LITERALLY FLAVOURED VODKA DOES IT NOT KNOCK OUT UR 6′3 ASS OR WHAT EXCUSE ME

ANYWAY IN CONCLUSION.

HAPPY. SEVENTEENTH. BIRTHDAY. MY. CHUM.

*BLOWS U A KISS*

*PUTS ON TWO FÜR COATS TO REMAIN UNDETECTED*

*STEALS ALL UR WEETBIX AND RUNS AWAY TO ALASKA NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN*

*still replies ur emails tho cuz i love u bitch y u do dis to me*

#I LOVE YOU SORRY THIS IS SO LONG BUT MY POINT STANDS #ALSO SORRY FOR THE SHITTINESS AND IF SOMETHING LOOKS WEIRD BC I EDITED IT SO MANY TIMES IT IS PORBABLY MOST DEFINITELY FUCKED UP SOMEHWERE #@ MYSELF I DONT TRUST U #fucshias #jiilys #I LOVE U BAE HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY HAPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY #*SINGS* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU #my BIG GOAT UR 17 NOW I AM ZCRYING RN I SWEAR I LOVE YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY

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maple-keenes · 5 years

Text

one black coffee

summary: roman drinks way too much coffee.

pairing: roceit, QPR analogicality

tw: remus, deceit, cursing

wc: 3753

a/n: i’m finally dooooOOooone

idea credit to @ilovemygaydad!!! love ya morgan

general:

@analogical-chaos @theflatpancake @ilovemygaydad @alltimevirgilant @virgiliananxiety @romanticsanders @theincediblesulk @wroammin @creativity-killed-thekitten @bitchyybabyy400 @wooflesthatwoof @lyditist @heck-im-lost @max-is-tired @demurphart @thelowlysatsuma @land-of-dragons-and-frogs @theeternalspace @magicallygrimmwiccan @weirdsthenewnormal @romansleftshoulderpad

College is dumb. Don’t do college.

Roman, a musical theater major, can tell you this with one hundred percent certainty. He is in college, his second year, and it’s dumb.

Adult life, similar to college, is also dumb, except for the fact that Roman no longer has to beg his mother for coffee money when he wanted to go to Starbucks. In fact, he’s stopped going to Starbucks altogether, which definitely has to do with the fact that the local shop on campus, Mocha My Day (which is an awful pun, by the way, the author has no idea what they’re doing), is cheaper than Starbucks, invites their employees to wear tags with their pronouns, and is eco-friendly, and nothing to do with the barista who works there that Roman definitely doesn’t have a crush on.

This barista was absolutely gorgeous, with rich brown skin interspersed with patches of white, and green-yellow eyes that stared into Roman’s soul and melted his heart at the same time. His hair was as soft as could be, he assumed, since he’d never actually touched it, and oh, Roman could so fall in love with this guy.

But not really. Just ‘cause he’s the most attractive man on Planet Earth doesn’t mean Roman is into him.

(Yes, it does. He’s into him.)

But the details of Roman’s romantic life are of no matter currently, because it’s 8 am and he has two classes today, one of which is awfully boring, /and he only got three hours of sleep last night.

Roman sidled up to the counter, smiling at the barista (his very favorite barista, the cute one) and said, “Hi, I’d like a large black coffee please!”

The barista, whose name tag identified him as ‘Damien, he/they’, took one look at Roman and smiled back. “No.”

He startled, blinking in confusion. “I don’t think you’re allowed to refuse a drink to a customer.”

“Then I’m refusing it to you as someone who lives in your building and just happens to also work here because you just don’t need any more coffee this week.” Damien shrugged. “I’m really sorry, but I think it’s not healthy and I don’t want you to ruin that gorgeous face of yours.”

If Roman was a computer program, the computer would have caught fire right then and there.

“Did - did you just refuse me coffee and then flirt with me?” he asked, affronted. “Cause I don’t think I can compliment a man who won’t let me have my coffee.”

Damien gave him an amused smile. “I’ll give you my number instead, how ‘bout that? You can text me later about why I should’ve given you the coffee. Or better yet, how about dinner? We can set that up later too. But for right now, I have other customers and I think the lady two people behind you is getting fed up.”

“I - okay - yeah, um… So I’ll text you?” Roman stammered face flush with embarrassment.

“Please do,” he replied with a wink. “I’ll see you around.”

Roman left, brain still short-circuiting from that last interaction. Damien had… kind of flirted before, but nothing that direct. He’d written pick-up lines on Roman’s cups, complimented his outfits, and smiled whenever they saw each other in the halls, and Roman was now starting to realize that this guy had been trying to ask him out for at least a month now.

Huh.

Later that night, when Roman was out of class and sure Damien was off work, he eagerly pulled out his phone and typed his number in.

fellas is it gay to be sexually attracted to men (Me) 6:21 PM

hey! this is the boy from the coffee shop and from two floors up, my name’s roman :0

fellas is it gay to be sexually attracted to men (Me) 6:21 PM

were you serious about wanting to go on a date?

A minute passed.

Three.

Five.

Roman tried to distract himself by looking at his assigned reading, but he couldn’t focus. /Why wasn’t he responding?

Eventually, after an eternity (seven minutes) Roman’s phone pinged with a new text.

DAMIEN!!!!!!! <333333 6:28 PM

yeah! lol sorry I was walking home. i was just waiting for the right time to ask n today seemed good enough

DAMIEN!!!!!!! <333333 6:28 PM

you really should drink less coffee though, it’s not healthy.

fellas is it gay to be sexually attracted to men (Me) 6:29 PM

judge me later, coffee boy

DAMIEN!!!!!!! <333333 6:29 PM

haha. my names damien btw, i think u knew that though. demiboy extraodinare, he/they

fellas is it gay to be sexually attracted to men (Me) 6:29 PM

he/him. trans icon

DAMIEN!!!!!!! <333333 6:30 PM

i AM thank u it feels nice to be acknowledged

Roman laughed out loud, clutching his phone to his chest. How could one guy be so hot and so funny? The laws of physics denied that even being possible.

“Virgil!” he called, hoping his roommate would answer. “Come look at what Damien texted me!”

“No,” came the muffled response, and Roman sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Please?”

“Still no.”

Roman stood up and walked into his roommate’s room, shutting their laptop (allegedly used for an art history paper, actually being used for gay Tik Tok compilations) and sitting next to them on their bed. “Look, he’s like, super funny, and - “

Virgil groaned and rolled over, rubbing their eyes. “I get it, you’re in love with him. I was in the middle of my paper.”

“You were watching Tik Toks.”

“I still don’t care about your gay shit,” they responded, though they sat up and looked at Roman’s phone. “Oh, he’s a demiboy? Neat. Also, you really should stop drinking so much coffee.”

He huffed, glaring at Virgil. “What is it, Pick On Roman Day?”

“That was last Thursday.”

“Haha.” Roman rolled his eyes, standing back up and already starting to text Damien a detailed list of everywhere he’d ever thought about them going on a date together. “Do you think he’d be into somewhere more classy or more memorable?”

Virgil glared daggers at him. “Get out of my room or I’m calling Logan and Patton and making you listen to us talk about feelings.”

“You don’t scare me!” He stuck his tongue out at them. “I’ve had conversations with the three of you before.”

“Get. Out.”

It was a day later (or six years, according to Roman’s sense of time) that they met up in front of the coffee shop. Damien had just gotten off work, and he had been secretive about where he was taking Roman, so he was just currently… sitting on the bench outside of Mocha My Day and hoping his outfit was cute enough.

He stood up when he saw Damien walk out of the cafe, smiling. They had traded their usual apron for a nice yellow shirt, and Roman was trying his hardest to keep his jaw from becoming permanently stuck to the floor.

“You look really nice,” Roman said, and a smile tugged at the corners of Damien’s mouth.

“You too,” they responded. “Red suits you.”

He blushed furiously, causing Damien to laugh. “Hey! Don’t laugh at me, my dates usually aren’t so smooth.”

They grinned. “Get used to it, Roman. You’re cute when you blush.” Ignoring Roman’s sputtering and the fact that their date’s face was currently as red as a tomato, he offered his hand out to Roman, and the other young man took it shyly.

“So, where are we going?” Roman asked, picking up his pace to keep up with Damien. “You’ve been secretive over text.”

They winked. “It’s a surprise.”

He bit back a smile, feigning annoyance. “I can’t believe my date won’t tell me where we’re going on this date with my date.”

“On a date.”

“Yeah,” Roman said, as both of them broke into giggles.

As it turns out, they were going to a theater downtown and then to dinner afterward, and both of those were both so nice and so expensive that Roman was curious if a) Damien had been stalking him, and b) how much money Mocha My Day paid and should he start working there if it allowed him to afford more theater. Overall, the show was good and all, but Roman ended up stealing glances at Damien’s face, illuminated by the glowing lights.

Damien caught sight of Roman watching him, and they made a face, causing both of them to start giggling uncontrollably (much to the chagrin of the patrons around them).

At dinner later that night, Roman bit his lip and finally asked what he'd been thinking since they had asked him out, which was, "Why are you interested in me?"

They raised an eyebrow. "I beg your pardon?"

Roman cleared his throat nervously. "I mean, I'm not exactly anyone's first choice. I'm a short, dramatic trans guy who can't even pick up on a little bit of flirting and is laying all his insecurities on the table on the first date.”

"Roman…" Damien sighed. "I'm a tall demiboy with vitiligo and you think I get to pick and choose? I asked you out because you're cute and funny and brave."

"Brave?"

They shrugged. "Yeah. Brave. I think you're brave. And that's the most affection you're ever getting from me, so enjoy."

He laughed, reaching across the table to take Damien's hand. "I think you're brave too."

"I…" They blushed, a smile tugging at the corners of their mouth. "Thanks, Roman."

For the next two days, Roman felt like he was floating on a cloud. He and Damien texted back and forth nonstop about this and that and history and classmates and dates and how cute the other was and he never tired of it.

During Intermediate Dance the next Wednesday, Roman was sitting on the bench and laughing at a meme Damien had sent him when his teacher, a young man named Thomas who had been on Broadway for several years and then decided that he preferred teaching kids, sat down next to him.

"So, Roman… you've been really distracted these past few days," he said, looking concerned. "Is everything alright?"

He scrambled to hide his phone and the messages on it. "Er… yeah."

Thomas tilted his head to the side. "That doesn't sound very convincing."

"I promise everything's fine!" Roman said frantically. "I was just… texting my brother. He's having a really rough time in classes," he continued, pulling a lie out of his ass.

The older man nodded sympathetically. "Remus, right? He's in one of my classes."

Shit fuck goddamn I actually have a brother who goes here, how did I forget that, Roman thought, annoyed at his inability to lie and his memory for forgetting that he like, had a brother.

"Um, yeah. Him." Roman was gonna owe Remus big time for this one.

Thomas patted his shoulder kindly and stood up. "Let me know if you need me to talk to him!"

"I will!" he called as Thomas walked away, mentally kicking himself for being the dumbest person ever.

He got up, grabbing his bag, and walked out of the dance studio quickly typing a text to his brother detailing what had happened and why Remus should not stab him.

As Roman was sending the message, he ran headfirst into one of his roommate's QPPs, Patton.

"Hey, kiddo!" Patton exclaimed, holding his hand out to Roman to help him up. Patton was a senior, and his only character flaw was that, and Roman swears by this, that he doesn't like mangoes for some reason. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, just a bit distracted." Roman rubbed his head. "Sorry about that."

He waved a hand through the air. "It's no problem. He/him day, by the way."

Roman nodded. "I saw your bracelet."

"So what were you doing on your phone? Texting a boy, maybe?" he asked, giggling.

He rolled his eyes, laughing. "Yeah, my brother."

Patton nodded sagely. "He's a sneaky one."

"No idea what that means. Anyways, I trapped myself in a lie with Thomas and now I need my brother to stick with it," Roman said, sighing.

"What happened?"

"Stuff," he answered vaguely. "I don't wanna be late to class so I gotta go, but you'll find out after I tell Virge."

Patton mouthed an "oh" and grinned. "Well, I have to get home before my brain decides that I am a girl now, so bye for now, Roman! Love ya, kiddo!"

"Love you too, Pat."

As he walked away, Roman’s phone dinged with a text. He opened it, hoping it was from Damien, knowing it was from Remus.

monsterfucker 1:13 PM

YOUR A BITCH ROMAN PATRICK KINGSLEY

fellas is it gay to be sexually attracted to men (Me) 1:15 PM

*you're

monsterfucker 1:16 PM

you'r a bitch roman patrick kingsley

fellas is it gay to be sexually attracted to men (Me) 1:17

takes one to know one remus brian kingsley

monsterfucker 1:18 PM

you owe me at LEAST 5000 favors

Roman laughed out loud, tucking his phone in his pocket. He would deal with his brother later.

After his classes, Roman swung by Mocha My Day, and he watched Damien’s face light up as he walked in. He smiled shyly and waved to Damien, who grinned and nodded back.

He sat down at a table next to the window and opened his laptop, looking over his notes from his last lecture. Roman had only been sitting down for about five minutes when someone sat down across from him, and they reached across and shut his laptop.

“Damien!” Roman cried, drawing a few weird looks. “I thought you were working!”

He shrugged. “I got permission to take a couple minutes to see you. So, I wanted to talk to you about something…”

Roman bit his lip. “Yeah?”

Noticing that he’d tensed up, they reached a hand out and rubbed his shoulder comfortingly. “Sorry, I just wanted to ask you when you wanted to go out again.”

He exhaled. “Um, whenever you want to is fine.”

“Roman.”

“Yeah?”

Damien chuckled. “You can tell me when you want to go out. It’s okay. I picked last time, it’s your turn.”

“I don’t really know,” he said, thinking. “I honestly just want to go out as soon as possible. I really liked our last date.”

“Then let’s go right now!” they exclaimed. “Remy’ll cover my shift -”

“I will not!” the aforementioned Remy interrupted, though Damien ignored him.

“- and we can go get ice cream or something and watch the sunset. Come on, it’ll be romantic.”

Roman thought for a minute, then nodded. “Alright, let’s go.”

“Really?”

“Yes!” he responded, grinning. “You had me at romantic.”

And with that, Damien quickly grabbed his stuff and headed out with Roman, possibly having bribed Remy to take his shift. They climbed into Damien’s car and drove off, Roman giggling the whole time.

“God, why does this feel so forbidden?” he asked, rolling down the window. “No one cares. We’re not running away from anything.”

“We could be.”

Roman glanced over. “What do you mean?”

“Just pretend that you’re running away from something. Transphobia, someone you hate, anything. We could be running far away from everything, everyone.” They sighed, gripping the wheel tight. “I don’t know if this makes sense.”

“It does, it does.” He smiled softly, patting Damien’s knee. “We’re running away together, then.”

They smiled back gratefully. “Thanks, Roman. I really appreciate it.”

Once they reached the secret destination (the beach near their college), both boys climbed up onto the top of Damien’s car and sat next to each other, Roman’s hand resting on top of theirs.

“This is such a gorgeous view,” he said, leaning into Damien, who shifted so that Roman was more comfortable.

They sighed, glancing over to Roman, who was staring off into the distance. Roman’s face was illuminated by the glowing sun over the ocean, his hair moving softly in the wind.

He was beautiful.

Roman looked over at Damien, who was carefully watching him. "What? Is something wrong?"

Their cheeks turned pink as they shook their head. "I was just admiring the view."

"I - Damien!" he exclaimed, smiling. "That's just cheesy."

"You love it and you know it."

Roman flushed, his face turning as red as it could. "I do, but that doesn't excuse the fact that it's super cheesy."

Damien tucked a stray piece of hair behind Roman's ear. "I think the fact that it's cheesy might be excusable in this case."

He melted into the touch. Roman looked up at Damien, who's patterned face was turning a lovely shade of pink and blue as the sun set behind them, and he was suddenly aware of how close the two of them were to each other.

There was something that sparked inside Roman at that moment, and he straightened up and leaned over, cupping Damien's face in his hands and kissing him softly.

Damien let out a startled noise before realizing that hey, this felt pretty nice, and wrapping their hands around Roman's waist.

The two of them weren't perfect at kissing, and they weren't the kind of couple that you would photograph - a demiboy with vitiligo, a short trans guy - but they were the kind of couple that didn't care that the other wasn't the ideal kind of boy or the ideal kisser, and they still sat there, on the roof of Damien's car, kissing in front of the sunset.

It's a private moment, and we won't interrupt any longer.

The next day, Roman was practically floating on air as he walked from class to class, texting Virgil about all the details of last night and how they'd kissed. Virgil, despite their facade of not caring about anything, was eager to listen to Roman talk about how perfect this guy was. They were nothing if not a good friend.

Virgil was not, however, the only person who got a detailed account of Roman and Damien's date the previous. Remus, Roman's brother, who was notorious for being 'a horny motherfucker', asked Roman to please shut up about his date, Patton, who was happy to hear it'd gone well, and Logan, Virgil's other QPP, who was glad that it had gone well, but was trying to finish a paper. Several of Damien's coworkers had also gotten a play-by-play, and Remy, the man who had, unfortunately, had to cover their shift, was slightly less annoyed about it upon learning that it was for like, love or something.

Roman, unluckily, had Dance again the day after, and he had decided that he was going to come clean to Thomas. This was not based upon his own decision making, it was based upon the fact that Remus had taken back his offer of repayment by favors and had decided that he was going to stab his brother if the situation was not remedied.

You know, sibling stuff.

He knocked on his teacher's office door after class and opened it after he heard Thomas say 'come in!" from inside.

"Hey, Thomas," Roman said, smiling sheepishly. "I owe you an apology, I think."

"About your lie about your brother?" he responded, lacing his fingers together. "I know, Roman."

He sighed, relieved, before starting as he realized what his teacher had said. "Wait, you do?"

Thomas chuckled lightly, smiling. "Yeah. Your boyfriend is my TA, and he's much better at lying than you, which means that he tells me when he's being honest. And may I just say, your date a couple of days ago was so romantic."

Roman bit his lip to keep from laughing. "I guess I should have known that, then."

He nodded. "Plus, Remus spent a large amount of class muttering about how frustrated he was with his brother, and that's without the cursing," Thomas said.

"Oh. Well, I'm really sorry about all of that, Mr. Thomas. I should've just been honest," Roman apologized.

Thomas shrugged. "It's not a big deal. Mr. Kingsley. I understand the panic of not wanting to share something like that with your teacher, but Damien and Remus are very different people from you. But I wish you luck in your relationship. And I know that I'm a teacher, and so I'm not supposed to care, but I'm rooting for you two. Damien needs someone like you to balance them out."

"Thanks, Mr. Thomas."

After that conversation, Roman felt like a little weight had been lifted off his shoulders. It was good to know that he wasn't in trouble, but he felt as if he'd gotten off a little bit easy.

Returning home and collapsing on the couch, he pulled out his phone and grinned when he saw his home screen, which was a selfie of Roman and Damien from their date last night. Roman was leaning into their shoulder and Damien was pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

He smiled. Something good was gonna come out of this relationship, Roman was sure of it.

epilogue

Damien bit their lip as they finished the last coffee of their shift. Remy gave them a reassuring nod as they went into the break room to quickly change into their nice clothes for their date tonight.

It was the final semester of Damien's senior year and Roman's junior year. Damien had found a little job reporting for a local newspaper, and they were glad to be staying in town. You'll see why in a second.

They fixed their bowtie in the mirror and sighed. One of the other employees, a new barista named Emile, gave them a thumbs up and smiled. Damien smiled back and asked, "Could you hand me my jacket and that little box over there?"

Emile nodded and stood up. "Good luck tonight, Damien. We're all rooting for you here."

"Thanks," they said, tucking the little box into their pocket. "Trust me, you'll all be the first to know what he says."

"It'll be yes. I just know it."

A bell chimed at the front of the store, and Damien closed their eyes, centering themselves before walking out to the front of Mocha My Day. "Hey, Ro! You ready?"

Their boyfriend nodded, smiling. "You're being secretive about this date. It's like the first one all over again."

"Well, you'll see," they responded with a wink. "Come on, let's go. I have a surprise waiting."

(He says yes.)

#remus tw #deceit tw #cursing tw #roman sanders #ts roman #deceit sanders #ts deceit #rociet #virgil sanders #ts virgil #patton sanders #ts patton #analogicality #remus sanders #ts remus #sanders sides #ts fanfiction

315 notes · View notes

dayumpeterpan · 7 years

Text

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up. Arabella - The Arctic Monkeys The City - The 1975 Ferrari - The Neighbourhood Cigarettes in the Theater - Two Door Cinema Club Postpone - Catfish and the Bottlemen Silvertongue - Young the Giant 2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? My soulmate, I suppose 3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. "As newborn babies. We might, anyhow, be natural..." from No Exif 4) What do you think about most? I guess love 5) Ever had a poem or song written about you? No, I haven't 6) Do you have any strange phobias? Yes, I'm deathly afraid of needles like it's not just a fear it's a diagnosable phobia. 7) What's your religion? I'm agnostic. 8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Walking I guess. I do a lot of different thinks outside. 9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? Catfish and the Bottlemen, no question. 10) What was the last lie you told? I told my friend I had to miss rehearsal cause I was sick when really I needed to go to dance class cause my parents paid a lot of money for it. 11) Do you believe in karma? Not really. 12) What does your URL mean? Well, my crush dressed up as Peter Pan for Halloween one year so my friends and I started saying, "dayum Peter Pan" when we saw him... well mostly just me. But now it's just because I love Peter Pan. 13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? My greatest weakness is either my vanity or my selfishness. I can be selfless and usually I am, but when I'm selfish I feel like shit. And I just have such an obsession with being pretty because I get such a sense of power from it. Not sure what my greatest strength is. I guess it's my mental/emotional strength. I really think that I handle most situations very intelligently. 14) Who is your celebrity crush? I really don't have one. 15) How do you vent your anger? I guess by yelling when it's really bad and when it's minor I just count to ten and let it go. 16) Do you have a collection of anything? I used to collect snow globes. Now I guess I collect Disney stuffed animals. 17) Are you happy with the person you've become? Generally, yes. I'm not perfect but I'm really happy with the way I handle situations. 18) What's a sound you hate; sound you love? I don't know off the top of my head what sounds I hate. I love lots of sounds so that's hard too. I really just don't know. 19) What's your biggest "what if"? I guess I don't have one. I'm not a "what if" kind of person. 20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I don't really believe in ghost, but I won't count them out. I definitely believe in aliens. This universe is way too big for us to be the only intelligent life around. 21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. My wall and my blanket. 22) Smell the air. What do you smell? Ugh, I can't smell anything, my nose is stuffed. 23) What's the worst place you have ever been to? The doctors office or the hospital to get my blood drawn. 24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender? Fucking Shawn mendes is hot as hell im sorry. Also there was his boy on the voice that was fine as fuck. 25) To you, what is the meaning of life? I believe that life has no predetermined meaning, you give it meaning yourself. For me it's to be as happy as I can be. 26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? Not yet. 27) What was the last movie you saw? Sing Street... good as hell 28) What's the worst injury you've ever had? I've never had a serious injury. 29) Do you have any obsessions right now? No, I'm not an obsessive person. 30) Ever had a rumor spread about you? Not that I know of. 31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? No. I don't usually trust them right away but if that act differently I will give them the benefit of the doubt. 32) What is your astrological sign? Scorpio. 33) What's the last thing you purchased? My dress for the dance. 34) Love or lust? Love, I'm not a super horny person. 35) In a relationship? No, I wish I was. 36) How many relationships have you had? Ha, none cause I'm a loser. 37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? I'm just really smiley and light and laughy with them. 38) Where is your best friend? At home I think. 39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Sleeping. 40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? I think so. 41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? Save the fucking dog, I'm not a horrible person. 42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? a) I'd tell some people so they have time to prepare because sudden deaths are horrible. But I wouldn't tell everyone. b) I'd spend it traveling with the people I love. c) Hell yeah, id be terrified. 43) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Right now, silvertongue. All the time? Sidewinder. 44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? Trust, mutual comfort and adoration, and an unreal amount of friendship. 45) How can I win your heart? Smile at me and be a kind person. I love people's smiles and I hate assholes. 46) Can insanity bring on more creativity? I don't know, I've never been insane. I'd imagine it's subjective. 47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? My decision to be confident and not rest my feelings about myself on others judgements. Also, not settling. 48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? She did it all. 49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word "heart." Being in love I guess. 50) Basic question; what's your favorite color/colors? Mostly white but I also love grey. 51) What is your current desktop picture? The mermaids from Peter Pan 52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? I want to say Trump but then we be dealing with Pence. I'd need to do some serious research for this one. 53) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on? Are you naturally pretty? 54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? Shape-shifting. 55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? When I was in Alabama and I was laying on the dock at night with the water reflecting the lights across the bay and everything seemed infinite and I felt at home. 56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? I don't know. I don't have one that stands out. 57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? Probably Shawn mendes or that guy from the voice. Idfk. 58) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Venice. No idea why I'm saying that but it feels right. 59) Ever been on a plane? Yeah, a long time ago. 60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities. I don't fucking know stop asking me this.

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