#im moving on with life

[conchstellations]

goodbye!

(tldr: kath is leaving because some of you kind of suck. she has some suggestions for those of you who don’t want to kind of suck. also a little bit of sentiment.)

This is my goodbye. The last post I’ll ever make on this blog. Dramatic, I know. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and I think it’s time I just fully absolve myself of the burden that the kazoo kid’s cold, dead eyes carry. I was thinking, “hey, isn’t it a little cringe to make a post saying goodbye to a tumblr blog?” and then I thought, “yeah! It is!” and I pulled up a google doc and started typing. In all seriousness, it’s been a long time coming. This is going to be a long post and I expect very few people to read it, although I hope you do. It’s mostly for me, really. Closure, I guess you could say. Perhaps even a poetic ending. 

When I first read Lord of the Flies, I was forced to. It was assigned reading for my grade 10 English class. I was going on vacation, so I decided to bring a copy of the book with me so I could keep up with the class. On that vacation, I probably read that book around 8 times. I couldn’t put it down. I couldn’t stop talking about it. My mom had to tell me to shut up about it after the fifth time I explained to her how Jack would’ve been a much more efficient leader. 

As any teenage girl with an urge to rant about niche topics would do, I made a tumblr. At that time, it was inquisitivebrightcreatures, but I cannot stress enough how annoying it was to type. 26 whole characters. Literally enough letters for the entire alphabet. I also made a discord server around that time, and I personally think that led to every major issue I’ve had in the past 2 years (that’s a joke, my grandpa died and he didn’t even know what discord was). On that server, I made friends I still talk to even now. Shoutout to Bunny and Rog, my besties.

Months went by, I made friends and I found a community. I also made enemies. I didn’t know that a book written like a thousand years ago could generate so much anger, but I guess that’s what I deserve for underestimating literature. 

Lord of the Flies has been a huge part of my life for the past 2 (almost 3) years. It’s even partially to blame for my current relationship. When I first walked into my grade 12 English class, I distinctly remember seeing Lord of the Flies books on the desks and turning to the complete stranger sitting in the row to the right two seats behind. I proceeded to continue on at least a five minute rant about the joy this stupid book has brought me, and then my hopes were crushed as it was announced that those were for the grade 10s. She still bought a copy for herself though, to appease me, and she even bought one for me so I could annotate it. Now, she’s annotating one for me. Okay, I’m done being gay. Maybe. (I’m not). 

To put it simply, this book genuinely means a lot to me. It’s been a comfort to me when I needed it most. I used to have this book with me 24/7 about a year ago. Trust me, I love it. 

But the one thing I’ve realized I don’t love is what drew me here in the first place: the community. 

I don’t want this to be taken in the wrong way. I have formed very real, very meaningful bonds with people in this community. For two years of my life, the people here were who I would go to with every single issue I had. They were almost like a second family. But I don’t think that means this community is above critique, and I want to talk about that and my thoughts. 

For a while, I held my tongue when it came to the problems in this “fandom”, or whatever you want to call it. I wanted to fit in, and I thought that maybe I just wasn’t understanding other people’s perspectives. Maybe everyone else was actually right. And I certainly know that I was part of the problem too. I’ve done some things I seriously, genuinely regret. I know I’ve had my moments that make this whole thing sound hypocritical, but I think those experiences helped me understand why this behaviour is wrong.

Firstly, I’ve always been disgusted by the way some of you handle these characters. They are children. Even if you’re aging them up, they were written as children. Stop making NSFW. You’re just aging them up to “justify” your actions. Just because it’s “legal” doesn’t mean it’s moral! It is horrific. That’s all I have to say about that, because I don’t even think it should be a topic of debate.

Secondly, the “mob-mentality” needs to stop. I think it’s funny how part of Lord of the Flies is critiquing how humans are able to do bad things when other people are doing it, and on multiple occasions I’ve seen dozens of people in this community attack somebody. Of course, I think that sometimes it’s mandatory to correct people. If someone is genuinely harming other people with their actions, a little bullying is perfectly fine by me. But some of you are frothing at the mouth because someone in the Lord of the Flies tag on tumblr said that they don’t support shipping. There’s no need to send hundreds of insults over petty things. At that point, it’s just insecurity. Next time you start typing, maybe consider: why am I getting this upset? Is it worth getting upset over? I sound rude, but I truly think this is a problem that the community has, and I'd love to see some self-reflection and improvement. 

Thirdly, some of you are just genuinely toxic. The amount of hypocrisy, cruelty, and to put it simply, meanness (is that a word?) is worrying. Again, I can say confidently I’ve done the exact same thing. I’m not trying to be rude. But I know I’ve taken the time to try and work through those flaws. I think a lot of you can’t even acknowledge them. You’re all so focused on pointing out other people’s issues that you can’t see how you could possibly be in the wrong. And when you are in the wrong, you get defensive. And then comes the group harassment. From the bottom of my heart, I think a lot of you need some serious introspection. 

It’s taken me a long time to think about this. I do love this blog. I love some of the people I’ve met. I love some of the memories. But I cannot continue to be a part of this with a good conscience. The tipping point for me is when I logged into this blog the other day, and saw that every single one of the above patterns was being repeated. Again. And again. And again. (I do feel some of the critique was very valid, but others? Not in the slightest). And once again, there was zero self awareness to be seen. This community is not one I want to participate in, or support, if it keeps going in this direction. And I really hope that at least some of you will turn it in another direction.

I’m not deleting this blog. It holds so many memories for me. Just leaving it inactive for the far, foreseeable future. And again, I love this book! It will forever be my favourite. I already have another blog where I’ll probably post a few Lord of the Flies things! That book has been a safe place for me, but the community that’s grown here is anything but that.

I hope some of you took the time to read through this, and understand where I’m coming from. If any of you have something to say, comment or message me or whatever. I’m open to discussing because I do want people to listen before I actually go.

In conclusion, goodbye to all my friends I’ve separated from. Goodbye to the memories I’ve made here. Goodbye to conchstellations.

I’m not going to play any longer. Not with you. (Okay, sorry I had to.)

- Kathryn <3

#i honestly had a good time with some of you #and i consider some of you friends #but at least 20 of you have proven to me over time that youre not who i thought you were #and i just want it over with LMAO #im moving on with life #my girlfriend brings me weekly bouquets i dont need lord of the flies tumblr drama #some of u just need to get bitches #okay sorry sorry but i think im funny #anyways #loved all the good times #despised all the bad times #xoxo conchstellations #lord of the flies #lotf #lotf fandom

[hymnsofheresy]

everytime i tell europeans my favorite cuisine is texmex & sonoran they are like “American bastardized Mexican food?” and i feel like im going insane. its not bastardized. its their fucking cuisine.

#never spoke to a tejano person in their life #im left to the task of explaining the mexican american war #as well as the texas independance #and how the border moved not the mexicans #and that their food with be shaped by a different geopolitical context #they get bored quickly #but i will defend the chimichanga

[brownpaperhag]

if any non-palestinians, especially in ‘the west,’ especially in positions of bodily safety, especially especially whites, are still feeling hopeless and lost about the genocide, may i offer, as gently as possible... get over it. your body is safe. you have been told over and over and over exactly what you can do to help, in exhaustive detail according to your specific social and political position. find out what you should do and do it if you can. if you can’t, that’s on you. find something you can do. stop asking palestinians to tell you what to do; take what is already given. you can find the instructions that have already been so explicitly left for you. you are an adult. your job is to keep moving. you are not allowed to be hopeless — that is a betrayal of everything the palestinian community and its supporters stand for. keep moving. don’t let anyone tell you that anti-zionist means anti-semite. don’t let anti-zionists around you become anti-semites. don’t let islamophobia stand. know that propaganda works and it’s working on you right now. keep moving. you are an adult. your life is yours to care for — that means finding the support you need, which also means knowing the boundaries and needs of those supporting you. you aren’t special. you aren’t alone. keep moving. you are not a hero. you are safe. you have agency. there is nothing you can do that can’t be done by someone else while you recharge. you are part of a collective; no one is looking directly at you. do what you can, and if you can do nothing, make your peace with that. palestine has no time for your shame or your guilt. feel these feelings when they come to you and then move through them.

#palestine #from the river to the sea #JUST to be clear im not vaguing anyone this is in response to my real life #but if you think this post could be about you it probably is. i believe in your capability. keep moving.

[clouvu]

Nothing in the world belongs to me But my love, mine, all mine

#genshin impact #arlecchino #peruere #clervie #ouhhhhhhhh im never gonna be able to emotionally recover from watching that animated short #ever since it came out a couple days ago just thinking of these two makes me feel like my heart is physically being ripped in half #i cant stop thinking about how Clervie was the only person in Arlecchino's life that she truly loved #like dont get me wrong Arlecchino loves her children in her own detached-fucked up way as much as any person with her amount of trauma can #but Clervie meant so much to her that even just her presence alone kept Arle's curse at bay #and it seems that no one other than Clervie herself has ever been able to break this unemotional/detached wall that Arle has put up #and maybe no one else ever will #DONT GET ME WRONG I still fw arle x other female harbingers like that shit is still peak #but oh my god the idea that arle never moved on after clervie's death and will never love anyone the way she loved her makes me want to SOB

[cometrose]

zhongli is so fucking funny when hes avoiding people like venti last year and neuvillette this year he can’t catch a break he moves like they’re his ex husbands 😭

#zhongli #venti #neuvillette #genshin impact #locking people out of a restaurant or discreetly getting some tea #HE WORKS HARD TO KEEP HIS PEACE #zhongli in a bucket of tea leaves: quickly traveler are they gone #venti and neuvi zhongli’s ex husband and zhongli the man who can’t stay married to save his life is on the run #but has reconciled his differences with venti i believe! they are friends don’t get it twisted zhongli is just a shit #zhongli in the back of restaurant: traveler PLEASE do not tell my ex husbands i’m here or im finished #he moves like a 5 time divorcee #zhongli next year: oh no my 4th ex husband is here during my annual nye party i have to hide!

[lover-of-mine]

"Buck is attached to this symbolism of couches being related to relationships, and that's not something that's actually going away anytime soon."

#911 #911 fox #911 on fox #911edit #buddieedit #buddie #evan buckley #my edit #otp: you don't need to pretend with me #look im the first to admit im reaching at any point in time #but COME ON #you cant establish the couch as a metaphor and just do stuff like this and expect me to just be normal about it #you have him run to eddie then just throw himself on eddies couch and fall asleep in seconds and just expect me to move on with my life #i am going absolutely feral #1k #2k #3k #4k

[plesiosaurys]

getting emotional over footage of an amateur scuba diver interacting with a coelacanth. they are hunted by large deepwater predators, and here comes a large creature bearing the brightest lights it's ever seen, making strange noises, but it does not shy away. it hovers, calmly, as the diver reaches out and trails a hand down its back. im strongly against the anthropomorphizing of real life animals but the stupid emotional part of me loudly insists this is because it recognizes us, the alternating movements of its four paired limbs matching the diver's four paired limbs, & it is thinking, "hello, cousins, we missed you these 66 million years, it's so good to see you again. welcome back, welcome home."

#[OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: he should NOT have touched the fish. do NOT touch random fish you find while scuba diving #especially if the fish is 6ft long & has sharp teeth #ESPECIALLY if the fish is a critically endangered species #being overwhelmed by the majesty of the coelcanth is understandable but that does not excuse his behavior] #[obligatory disclaimer 2: i know nothing about this guy; by 'amateur' i just mean he wasnt part of a scientific expedition at the time] #[obligatory disclaimer 3: i mean it wasnt CALM. its first dorsal fin was erect which we have reason to believe means it is on edge. #but it didnt flee like you would expect of a wild animal] #...disclaimers over. now im going to wail about how life began in the sea and we left & they stayed #& we thought they were gone & now we're finding our way back home to them #they are so beautiful and they are our family and they love us ok. they do i know it in my heart #coelacanth #Latimeria chalumnae #animals #andy original #ALSO I KNOW THEY HAVE 8 FINS by four paired limbs i mean the pelvic and pectoral the others arent paired they dont move like legs do

[bre4yd]

Sometimes, isolation takes a toll on you after a while.

(For context, the "isolation curse" c!tango goes through in the life series)

#yes i saw the post #of course i saw the post #idk just a little doodle #im in an artblock atm #anyways moving on to the actual tags #trafficblr #traffic life #traffic life series #tango tek #tangotek #tangotek fanart #life series #third life smp #last life #double life #limited life #secret life #life series fanart #bre4yd art

[letoscrawls]

Victory celebration for May the Fourth ❤️

#my art #star wars #star wars fan art #return of the jedi #star wars rebels #LETOSCRAWLS COMEBACK #let's all pretend it's canon also i didn't have space left for 3po and chewie IM SORRY 😭 #this took me so long i'm so glad the nigthmare is over and i can move on with my life

[dykealloy]

ripple effect legacy // my tears are becoming a sea, M83

#weaving parallels but god at what cost #something something luffy inheriting the will of a burnt out sun #something something the things we leave behind (broken promises. pain. little brothers. cool fire punch moves) #see the significance of ace is that he spends his whole life asking 'should i even have been born' and then through the positive #impact he has on everyone around him he creates a continuing cycle of change where people reach out a hand to help others #he said 'im not sure i deserve to live' and then became the most remembered and loved and sorely missed dude in one piece #like it's almost comedic how luffy keeps finding his big brother in the stories and best qualities of all the people he comes across vs. #people who knew ace and keep seeing pieces of him in luffy #anyway happy new year portgas d. ace trauma be upon ye~ #one piece #op #portugas d ace #portgas d ace #asl brothers #yamato #wano spoilers #one piece spoilers #CJ's edits #amv #monkey d luffy #straw hat luffy #monkey d. luffy #portgas d. ace #CJ's op watch-through

[borzoilover69]

Hes annoying and nobody knows what his deal is seriously who says “i deserve a sockdalager in the doldrums you know what i mean??” No. Nobody understands what the fuck youre saying bro. 😟

#homestuck #hom3stuck #jake english #borzoi art #dirkjake #thankyou all…. #weeeeee. #im doing ok-ish!! #life update for those in tags im probably moving out in february #hopefully? #hopefully. 🙂

[rassebers]

Pull yourself TOGETHER man

#panel one that's ritsu and serizawa assisting mob. just btw #who is mob marrying? well... who knows ... #for real though expanding on post canon is so real to ME #because of mob psychos central idea of growing up and getting older and life moving on #like it makes my heart warm to know these kids will GROW UP and GET JOBS and MEET PEOPLE IMPORTANT TO TJEM #and maybe even get married !... #i do think Reigen doesnt often think abt how far they've all come until some sort of big milestone #like a wedding or someone buys a house or graduates from school and etc #and then he's like damn.... ive really known him since he was a lil kid. and here we are now #excuse my rambling im just so sick and crazy and it makes my heart warm #mp100 #my rart #shigeo kageyama #reigen arataka #mob psycho 100 #ritsu kageyama #serizawa katsuya #their network of psychics and friends all chip in to help at the wedding

[suntails]

fallen

#KICKS OPEN THE DOOR. HIIIIIII IM BAAAAAACK. TWIRLS MY HAIR AND STARES UNBLINKINGLY AT U #okay so long story short i need to speedrun if i wanna draw ANY lore art this time #bc i go to NY w no computer for 2 weeks on thurs and i wont have nrainrot anymore after. so i need to draw FAST things #so yea. she um. she. died. sniffles. ngl i thought she was already dead from the prev update so this STUNG #the fuckign GRIEF the way lilia collapses down in mourning her loss. she falls to the humans. i am SICK it HURTS #silver was so devastated in 7.5 without even seeing the death firsthand and being like 'how could i ever be loved' #lilia looking at malleus. the future of the kingdom. the treasure of his two closest friends (loves?) #and is like 'how can i ever love him enough' and proceeds to spend A FIFTH OF HIS LIFE SEARCHING FOR A SOLUTION #dealing w prejudice from humans. kicked out of the army Disgraced. all while mourning. he keeps going out of LOVE #twst #twisted wonderland #lilia vanrouge #malleus draconia #hes an egg he counts #ch 7 spoilers #so yea blah blah blah im not as eloquent as u geniuses i will just draw a silly little dramatic art to capture my misery and move forward #suntails

[randomminty]

Caitlin…..

#pokemon #art tag #elite four caitlin #unova elite four beloveds #ive been having caitlin hcs all day #i think when she first moves to unova to join the e4 shes p young and gets a little darach plush for homesickness #then ends up collecting some of the rest of the league …….. #i almost forgot alder. i was so upset w myself. poor alder #iris isnt there in my mind i drew the first pic like before champion iris. if it was after she would be !!!!!!!!!!!! #show me any group of pokemon characters i will turn them into found family like my life depends on it #maybe not found family exactly but. ill make them care abt each other. have some sort of dynamic im on it

[tubbytarchia]

I'm back on my crap

Song is Forest Fire by Brighton

It'll be a general animation of the life series in general, and not shippy! Just general... Really wanted to animate this scene first though to some degree teehee

If you'd be so kind, please suggest some significant feeling scenes that I could add into the animation involving Impulse, Skizz, and Pearl outside of Double Life + Lizzie outside of Secret Life!!

woe Jimmy and flower base upon ye too

#I know its so hard to see but the waterfall is also moving #flower husbands #jimmy solidarity fanart #scott smajor fanart #3rd life #back on this bullcrap hehehe Im so excited to animate more though this'll take a looong time #yes ranchers will have like at least 2 scenes too dont you worry #but OF COURSE I had to animate the “it's home” duo to the “my home” line in the song. YOU KNOW I had to #tubby art

[gncrezan]

thoroughly enjoying @infamous-if so here's sketchdump of my post-read doodles before i run through it once again!!!!!!!!!

#p2 seven and aki are singing simple season h/ippo campus :) #slash is only in there so i dont clog the main band tag up !! i love them dearly i listened to lp3 drawing these #esp bc boys. is such a song for him . #infamous #infamous if #akihiro yasumi #seven lawless #there are more people here but i am not strong enough to tag everyone. sorry #also please don't be fooled by what looks like me leaning towards seven. aki is about to pipebomb all his relationships #mostly by flirting w anything that moves and being the most sagittarius man of ALL TIME!!!!! #also im enjoying his stage name w regards to his backstory #akihiro wanting to keep his private life as private as possible bc he believes there is like #a persona that he has to project as a singer. and it should be his love for the craft that his fans see #also akihiro: and i will make my stage name quite literally mean empty house in japanese #'somebody FOLLOW ME i'm DISTRAUGHT' sort of energy #my art #edit: adjusted the picture just slightly cause i realised exported it odd...