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#im trying to just do what makes me happy and its hard bc i cant help but compare myself to all these young hot trans ppl who are also my age
puppyeared · 5 months
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people who do STEM or administration as a career full time and continue to do art as a hobby, I am scared of you but like in a hot way. youre like if we were allowed to have cold drinks in winter. i look at you and think of miles morales with his two cakes. do you want to make out sometime
#i say all of this positively bc i just! i cant help admiring it!! even if its mundane or not a big deal to you i seriously cant wrap my head#around it.. this is in no way at all meant to be condescending or anything. whenever i look at someones bio and theyre like oh im working#as a lab assistant biologist pharmacist realtor etc im like woag.... thats insane.. and then i peep your art tag and it knocks my socks of#how?? what lives do you lead??? im so curious. i seriously want a peek inside your brains someday. or at least shadow you at work lol#i cant help but feel sad when someone says smth like well i have to support myself and art cant do that for me. or maybe you were#pushed into pursuing a 'safe' career bc i hear it a lot. all of my relatives have the same story working as nurses and OFWs for the family#i think for me its not about missed potential but rather its being sad about making a decision to put your happiness aside to get by#ive tried so hard to do it but it didnt work out. i guess watching you guys do it is fascinating to me#or maybe youve made peace with your decision or actually like what you pursued but im still amazed!! it makes me wonder what made#you pick one over the other in that case.. is it like putting time for two different things the way you would for a schedule?? hmmm#im doing graphic design so i dont really interact with ppl in other faculties even humanities like sociology or childcare... so i cant help#wondering what it must be like as someone whos pursuing visual communication both as an interest and career#i seriously wish i could do smth like a desk job or even admin and maybe ill try that if this doesnt work. or i could look into trades#but dyscalculia already makes it hard to do things like cash and mental math so i get overwhelmed if i think about this too hard#yapping
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moeblob · 1 month
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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
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opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months
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The way that the sun hits leaves and clouds. I feel like I could watch the colors change forever. If I could slow down for that long.
#i keep forgetting a have a deck now. i can go outside and sit there#im doing that now. sitting in the corner of a deck full of empty chairs. staring up at a big pine tree where the sun is striking it gold#at the top. i like how thr light hits the needles. if the sky was black it would look like its on fire#theres a tree outside my bedroom window too. in the morning. after the sunrises it catches thr light and refelcts the most perfect shade#of green. the kind of green that flutters translucent like youre looking up from the bottom of a pool. the light the light its all about#the sun. everything everything is about the sun. when i start my project I'll be focused on understanding how organisms catch the light bc#its so incredible and complicated it would make my chest swell to bursting if there wasnt an empty bleeding wound in my gut. a#metaphorical wound of course. i dunno. its just difficult bc right now my mood is inflated by hormones. not even that much i think I'm#just at what shoulf be a normal level of happiness so i can be slow for a minute. but just a minute bc i kno it won't last long#sorry i cant shut the fuck up when im like this but i dunno i just feel like i havr to document these ephemeral moments before they're gone#its just difficult when you kno the world is so full of beautiful things but 95% of the time your eyes are too clouded to see it#everyone tells me i work too much but i feel like im just staring off into space being miserable 60% of the time. ive just done so much#damage over the past few years im coming into a new lab as damaged goods. ive got an albatross around my neck in thr form of data i#collected so self destructively that the idea of having anything to do with its publication makes me hate myself. everytime someone tells#me good job on collecting so so so much data it feels like they're congratulating me for breaking something within myself. like i slit my#wrists and bled out on a lab bench and theyre saying good job and theyre excited for me and i have to grin and bear it and pretend im#excited too. but im not bc ive burned everything inside me to ash. so when im elevated enough to be distracted by the clouds and trees it#feels like healing. like seeing angels. beautiful ephemeral beams of light. i wish i could slow down enough to watch them. but now thr sun#is hitting the horizon and the sky is going gradually dark and i should go inside. bc i have many things to do in the morning. so that's#what ill do. and ill try to get more thsn 6hrs of sleep but its hard when your body is vibrating over with energy#but at least i dont feel tired in the morning. something in my head must be on fire#unrelated#hm i should maybe add a tw to this#tw self injury#but its the kind thst makes u good at ur Job. its the kind ppl reward. so they don't understand when u say its destroying ur life#but im trying to get better. i say as i gear up for an insane semester lol but i do mean it
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ratboy · 7 months
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cis ppl get so mad at t4t relationships bc they couldn't fathom wanting to date a clocky trans person. they want someone who fits neatly into Woman or Man and that's the end of it. but that isn't what being trans is about for a lot of us. it's about the fuzzy edges and not existing within either and also both categories. it's about learning to love that ambiguity and embracing it and finding other trans people who embrace it within themselves and you rather than try and smooth out all the wrinkles and edges.
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spiked-mall-goth · 11 months
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heyyyyyy <3 <3 i feel terrible.
i had planned to stay off longer but i genuinely have had like three nervous breakdowns since i left bc right as i decided it was abt time i just chill for a little bit everything started happening all at once. so i came back to see my silly little internet friends, but like the second i logged back on some ppl were talking smack abt me sooooooooo... ya know. my day (two weeks) be so fine,, then BOOM my entire schedule fills up and i become hollow on the inside! (hey sorry like vent post n tags i need to get things out of my brain)
#spikes rambles#i was happy there for a minute too :<#heres what its looking like rn....#i have three weddings. one of which i am a bridesmaid for and was left to get my own dress#but i cant afford a nice dress that matches. so i have to make one my damn self. and in two weeks.#i have a graduation.. and a graduation party both for different ppl#even tho i had to push back my own graduation by a full year bc things were just not going as planned. and now everyone thinks im a failure#im volunteering to teach at a kids summer camp like thingy. i was supposed to have a partner but i was told that she actually#wants nothing to do with me and was forced into this but i was under the impression that we would be teaching TOGETHER#and not her being an assistant. so now i have to call her and be like heyyyyy what the fuck is going on i need to know the lesson plan#im also volunteering for a church summer thing. if i could i wouldnt be doing this but my self made mother figure asked me personally#to help and i cant say no to this. we get to hang out and i get to paint like murals and shit and we've been doing this together for years#i have to spend the weekend with my bio mother to go to a celtic festival thing bc my younger brother wants to go.#i'm having some pretty severe best friend problems which i am honestly not well equipped enough to deal with and its eating me away inside#summer has officially started here so that means 24/7 headaches and sensory problems. straight up category 5 autism moments#i had to pick up the slack and become a paternal figure to my youngest brother. which is just sad that i have to at all#my dear beloved friend is trying very hard to make a young adult like hangout (???) thing in own town and really wants me to go#but i just dont wanna. i dont really care for social gatherings#hey guys btw all this has happened or was planned for next month in the two weeks i was gone#what the fuck.
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#girl i have so many teshes thoughts its INSANE#me starting with haha actually this ship has no basis i just want to Put Tesilid Through It#but over the past few months of brainrotting their dynamic is now like.#what if we were doomed from the start and there was never anything either of us could do to save the other#(not even talking about the regression but rather the stigma bearer thing and how they have no social power)#(but also the regression thing)#what if we loved each other throughout all the lifetimes but there could never be a happy ending. tragedy dogs our footsteps#what if we were 'guy who has a good head on his shoulders and recognises our low social positions and looks out for his friends in similar#predicaments' x 'guy who is way too giving and this is bad bc the world is out to get him and he loves ppl too much to care about#the danger to himself'#what if we were 'guy who is way too giving' x 'guy who wants to protect him but Cant'#doomed ships.....#swings hestio around i like you SO much. i need to put you under a microscope and in a fish tank#(statements that should not ever be viewed by people outside of tumblr)#some of my fic outlines has notes that are like 'wow if they had the transmigrators privilege this wouldnt even have been a problem'#and im suddenly very appreciative of canon#god bless canon tesilid may you be happy. not my fanfic tesilid though im making him miserable#anyway. the more i think about it the more interesting hestio's internal conflict could be#it's about being so acutely aware of how shit their lives already are that he knows having a r/s that is frowned upon would just#make things worse#also i am very much hooked by the fact that like. nowadays i keep seeing ship posts about 'killing myself in front of you to change the#trajectory of your life forever'#for teshes its the opposite. hestio is desperately trying to make sure tesilid doesnt off himself#and also its not hestio dying that changes the trajectory of tesilid's life forever it's hestio confessing#and somehow this inflicts more pain on tesilid in the long run#which is extremely funny bc for all the notes that ive written abt teshes hestio has only confessed like umm. checks notes. 3 times#1. drunk (tesilid is not in the room) 2. the world is ending#like if hestio had managed to take this to the grave like he had originally planned then this could have been avoided#but the tragedy is that tesilid lives thru this multiple times so at least ONE time hestio's going to blab and that forever changes things#crying in fic writing being stupidly hard
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lovecrazedpup · 5 months
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trying to be strong and think reasonably vs my unwavering belief that im an awful person and hes going to leave me
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pierregazly · 8 months
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i know places ꨄ charles leclerc smau
charles leclerc x fem!reader
or 4 times charles soft launched you, and the one time he hard launched you so hard it almost caused whiplash
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charles_leclerc
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liked by pierregasly, arthur_leclerc, joris__trouche, and 430,230 others
charles_leclerc happy summer break 😁
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username ummm???
username that last photo im gonna throw up i never want him to post a photo dump again
username what about OUR family charles? ME, your wife? OUR imaginary kids?
joris__trouche i hope you paid your photographer
charles_leclerc she said it was a free trial
username there's literally no way charles 'i am stupid' leclerc knows how to soft launch this has to be a joke
username i hope this brings ferrari such awful luck... no man who soft launches like this deserves happiness
charles_leclerc
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liked by arthur_leclerc, yourusername, landonorris, and 320,540 others
charles_leclerc new song releasing at midnight tonight on all platforms, we hope you'll like it 🎶
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username i cant wait to be depressed for the rest of the week thank u charles
username im sorry... WE? who is WE?
username omg... is this a piano duet... between charles and his girlfriend???
joris__trouche i hope you're sharing the royalties
charles_leclerc nosy man
username the fact he's giving us literal crumbs like we have NOTHING to go off of
username he's just smarter than the rest of us, not letting us creep his girl
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charles_leclerc
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liked by pierregasly, mickschumacher, yourusername, and 650,392 others
charles_leclerc what an incredible weekend in singapore. honoured to have had all the people i love with me this weekend for this win. i can never do this without you.
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username do u think he put 'i can never do this without you' in a whole different sentence because it's directed at HER
username idk if i should call u delulu or smart bc 👀
username i am so fed up with this soft launch, stop being a coward and show her to us!!!
username comments like these are prolly why he's only soft launching... he doesn't want crazy fans to pull what they did with lando and luisa lol
pierregasly je suppose que ton porte-bonheur fait son travail 👀
charles_leclerc 🥰😁
charles_leclerc
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liked by joris__trouche, pierregasly, landonorris and 692,941 others
charles_leclerc an extra special christmas, with an extra special person. joyeux noël to you all, may santa spoil you as much as he has spoiled me 🎅🏻
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pierregasly joyeux noël from kika and i, looking forward to spending time with the both of you in the new year 🥂
joris__trouche impressive that this soft launch is still going, only ever seen you this dedicated about cars
username not joris saying exactly what we all have been thinking
username i cant believe no one has found her on anything
username charles hasn't given us anything to go off of, its like he's trying to make it difficult to find her
username omg y'all it HAS to be yourusername her story is them literally kissing!!!! im gonna scream!!!!!!
username she's followed by half the grid!!! kika has liked all her post over the last 2 YEARS omg
yourusername has posted a story
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liked by charles_leclerc, francisca.cgomes, username, and 434 others
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charles_leclerc honoured to have been the one to kiss you for the last three christmases, hoping for hundreds more
charles_leclerc
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liked by pierregasly, yourusername, arthur_leclerc, and 1,235,029 others
charles_leclerc apparently i forgot to introduce the world to my beautiful wife? joyeux anniversaire mon amour 💗
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username your WHAT
username his WIFE?!
username there is no way mr 'i am stupid' has hidden a whole WIFE and a whole MARRIAGE from us
pierregasly merde i am so excited to finally post the photos from your wedding
yourusername honoured to have spent the last year as mrs. charles leclerc, hoping for so many more
charles_leclerc hoping for forever
username MRS CHARLES LECLERC PLS IM KSFJHK
username i am screaming and throwing up, not even crying i cant even be heartbroken????
landonorris emotionally im not okay
yourusername you were at the wedding??? landonorris i love love, shut up.
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if you've already seen this i apologize lol, i think there was some formatting issues with the prev post which resulted in it not showing up in the tags :( so total apologies for that! i hope you enjoy!! (i dont want to retag everyone and be annoying as well) if you'd like to be added to my tag list please feel free to reach out
also my requests are open if you're interested!
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You could drink your whole life away and still never get that taste out of your mouth.
half commission for @salempie half completely self indulgent dreck pieced together from our insane conversations abt franke and elka. told myself id finally write a big explanation for all of the dum shit between these two for context so Thats Under The Cut.
so I already wrote some stuff about elka and franke's relationship back in whispering rock so feel free to look at that too . it goes over elkas blindness/‘seeing’ with clairvoyance and how her and franke started talking & all that good stuff
SO FOR STARTERS. a lot of thsi wont make sense without a big breakdown of elka herself. because elkas potential as a character is like insane to me. like just the idea of her in the long run of her life reads as something so potentially tragic; a young girl whos plagued with visions of doom and destined to be an outcast even in her own home for things she cant control and clings to the One vision of her wedding that she thinks is 'happy' even despite the fact she doesnt really love the person in it. im choosing to take the li-po doc as canon here because its funny shes the only one with backstory-
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but my fucking god even the smallest look into what her parents are like is soo fucked up to me. and i do think elka especially gets a lot of influence from her mother; its funny how easily you can fit mabel doom into a box just from what elka says about her. knees deep in an avon-esque pyramid scheme and leaning into her daughters depressing ass visions & taking her to therapy at age 11 (which would be good if not for the kind of person you can already assume she is & so i doubt the therapist she has really does her any good. i think they share one). she reads as a very I Am My Daughters Best Friend type of mom to me and i can see elka being a centerpiece of the conversation when she has her Amway Girls over for drinks. wine-mom that lets her kid sip from the glass so she can feel like a big girl type deal.
and you can tell that elka is trying to hard to be too mature for her age even in her campster posts. how she writes letters to nils' mom and exchanges baking recipes with her and that feels like she really only interacts with middle aged women and not really many people her own age outside of camp (like her moms friends). which makes sense shed feel the need to ‘grow up’ early when shes probably had to process so many hard things at a young age bc of her visions.
theres a lot of filling the blanks here of course.
elka obsesses over nils to an overbearing degree even despite the fact he treats her like shit ('you promised no talking' and so on) and she treats him bad right back. she leans onto stereotypical heterosexual ideals like taking care of him and overblowing how Manly and Protective JT is and she admires romance stories like pride and prejudice and it feels like she Projects Soooooooo much of what she wants onto boys she barely feels anything for without knowing what its actually supposed to feel like. and clearly she WANTS that ideal future, a happy marriage, an actual romance- but according to nils even when they were dating she ignored him most of the time, which just seems Very Telling
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like shes filling a role, overcompensating for emotions and lacktherof she cant digest quite yet, and it only makes more sense when you know shes had visions of their future together. how could that be bad for her? shouldnt it be like the books and movies? but she doesnt really connect the fact that her visions are only for Doomed futures, and if she does she certainly doesnt show it. Doomed relationships. it's been a part of her family for generations and she isn't turning out much different, is she? i dont think she even realizes thats all she ever sees yet, just that its Going to happen. that it's Her future, and it always will be
and like, her only reference for a real marriage so far has been her own parents, and she already Knows they have an affair, and theyre doomed to split, (and i actually like to think they were in rough waters anyway and elka was a child meant to mend a crumbling marriage but thats a whole other thing) and so without a framework for what an actual healthy relationship is supposed to be like she cant really grasp that her relationship with nils Isnt that and isnt ever going to be. she can only cling to this one happy idea of the future, and thats why she keeps chasing him, self fulfilling the actuality of her situation and creating and fostering the unhappy life they will inevitably live together.
and that bleeds into everything else in her life, of course, because as the years go on, as the visions grow in number it just makes sense for her to fall into the predictability of her life. she always knows whats going to happen, her visions are Never wrong- so why try to change things? shes had time to process tragedies days, weeks, months, years before they happen, shes had time to settle into every crack of her life. her parents divorce, her various break ups, her future with the psychonauts.
“and she's already seen so much of a future with [nils] she feels trapped almost. Like she has to be happy in it or else it just means her life is miserable. And it's a mixture of pride and fear of the unknown that keeps her clinging to the One thing she knows. BUT LIKE!!! She knows what's gonna happen! It's easier to grieve when she's been grieving for years... She wants so badly to be happy, But to do that she has to step into the unfamiliar. And that's more terrifying than staying the same miserable person she's always been.”
and thats where franke comes in— and yeah you Do have to take a lot of liberties for frankes character since it’s basically, like, all the info for her is just that shes a Supreme Baby Dyke but thats enough for me. i think she has protective butch itch in her . on campster shes defensive over other women evidenced in the way she keeps watch over the girls cabins for lili when elton is pursuing her . but shes also eager to please and constantly trying to make kitty laugh and also Very naive. but she tries! and i think it only solidifies more as she gets Older and really gets a hold of her feelings & her powers. this is incredibly franke to me
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and i think as they grow older together— because i think franke and elka Do stay friends, both because elka is just pathetic and needs that positive connection even if she doesnt realize it and because i think franke is a very Loyal person & annoyingly persistent if you let her be . and i am also a kitty/franke truther. because kittys also important in this web we weave
because i think franke and kitty stay together after camp, to a point— theres a falling out facilitated on kittys end and they break up, but reconnect, and franke kind of... saves kitty from herself a little, from her strict military father whos love only extends thru finances , from her own stifling future , she drives all the way to bakersville in her shitty van handmedowned from her dad and they move in together eventually . they get jobs at the motherlobe , because it’s a pipeline to a decent job, because it’s whats easy, because franke doesn’t really have a future, because she’s never really been good at much, because shes never had much sense, because franke doesnt really care as long as she can live and help, sometimes, if she can, and because kitty’s there, and because elka’s there, and shes so used to being elkas eyes now and shes good at it. shes good at being the muscle of the missions when her colleagues lack it, when hypnosis and predictions arent enough. she likes it that way.
and elka appreciates frankes company. she listens, shes sweet, she does little things for her that no ones ever really put the effort for before; she likes her. franke is strong and bold and makes her laugh and shes always there but god elka cant let go of that future, of that box shes put herself in, that her mothers put her in, of being a Good Wife to a Loving Husband, of getting married normally and falling into unfailing familiarity. thats all shes ever wanted and shes not going to jeopardize that . not for franke, who may not be a boy but is handsome like one, whos always held her after every break up with nils and the men that filled empty days inbetween.
and elka is too stubborn to recognize those feelings anyway. too prideful to accept a way out. too set in her cycle no matter how much she hates it, her little self fulfilling tragedy of her own making, wallowing in her own doom. she struggles for control of her own life when she feels like every choice has been made for her anyway, she puts up her walls and carefully constructs what people see. but franke was always harder to trick, because while empathy isnt a particularly useful psychic power it’s certainly an inconvenient one. all franke has to do is get too close and all those carefully crafted walls fall apart, and elkas control is gone, and thats all she really has. and she tries to distance herself, really she does, but franke is also too persistent. and elka wears gloves, keeps contact that would make her walls crumble from happening as best as she can, but she cant really keep herself from the brief moments where she feels like someone actually fucking cares about her.
and that slightest lack of control, the need to wrestle it back is why she proposes to nils the next time theres a falling out— she knows how it happens, she plans every detail. and he accepts, despite everything. gets her a cheap ring and it feels like lead on her finger and its nothing at all like how shed thought it to be when she was a kid, theres no feather light feeling in her chest, only that dreadful reality that she cant turn this back. BUT WHAT CAN U DO LMAO
elka doesnt tell franke about this engagement until later, on their way back from a mission. late at night when neither of them can sleep, and franke invites elka to smoke in her van, because its been so long since theyve been alone like that, because elkas been so strangely absent lately. and because of everything, because frankes always so damn nice, because elka hates the feel of the ring on her finger, because she let herself get high alone with franke fucking athens whos always been so good at pulling her apart— the truth of it all spills out and its messy and emotional and she hates it, she hates the life shes made for herself, but franke makes it easier to bare and now shes here and shes so close and god she wishes she could see her smile again, she wishes she could see franke, thats all she needs right now and she cant but she can touch her and she can hold her and for tonight, she can be known, she can let those walls crumble, she can be something else just for once here with franke . she can kiss her here in this van, touch that happiness for just a moment, and forget the future that waits for her outside of it. franke begs her to forget the wedding, to just let herself be happy— and god, she wants to, but it means turning her back on everything shes known and everything shes saw to be inevitable, and franke has never been in her future, so if it were supposed to work out why hadnt she seen it and she cant, she cant take that risk but she can have this, even if its temporary, she can have it.
and just as soon as she gets a taste of it, its gone. after that night, after the missions over and theyre back at the motherlobe and have to pretend like nothing happened (franke doesnt, of course she tells kitty about it, she tells kitty about everything.) but that brief moment together haunts elka every time she sees franke, sees herself through frankes eyes, sees herself in her wedding dress because god its all franke can think about! of course it is! she knows how much elkas destroying herself she knows how much misery shes wallowing in that kiss in the van felt like an emotional punch to the teeth and she hasnt ever forgotten it and all she can do is sit and watch while elka throws herself into a loveless marriage. she can come to her wedding and see the way the bride and groom kiss with the emotional weight of a wet towel no matter how hard elka tries to hide it under a pretty dress and bouquets of flowers and meticulous planning.
and elka resents nils but she cant really hate him, its not his fault, not really. he feels trapped just like she does and his feelings of misery only cycle back into hers . they fight and gnash and wear away at each other and its a relationship thats crashed and burned a million times before elka even said i do. and its inevitable that she falls into her mothers habits, a sip of wine here and there to loosen up, until it turns to a glass, until it falls into a bottle on nights when whatever work nils does runs late.
but franke’s still there. shes always been there, hasn’t she? always trying to play knight, always trying to save her, dragging her home when shes stumbling over herself because god who else is going to do it but her? who else is left to care? certainly not nils. never nils. because franke knows her. because franke pities her. shes always pitied her. shes always known. and elka hates it, she resents it, but god in the same breath she’s desperate for it, she envies it to her very bones. elka is a mess but after frankes done with her she has someone to go back to that loves her. and god what elka wouldnt do to have that. to take it and keep it for herself because shes never ever got to have that movie romance shes always wanted.
so now comes this.
because elkas particularly miserable and particularly spiteful and she needs to get franke to understand, just for a moment, drink with her and get on her level and she needs her there with her no matter how her pity makes her feel. no matter how much it makes her shake with anger and envy and desperation, but god the way franke looks at her, the way she still tries to salvage what they have, the soft, slurred way she tells her that it’s okay but its not okay, none of this is okay, it never has been and she just wants franke to shut up and see that, and if she cant then she’ll show her, she’ll show her all the raw angry desperation, with too much teeth and hands that claw and grab and she’ll know why everyones always said she’s too much.
and she knows this puts her on nils’ level too. that this makes her a cheater, that shes no better than he is now. no better than her father and his affair. but god, she wants to be selfish. she wants to be in control. just for once. she wants to feel right and she wants to feel happy and she wants to feel loved. thats all shes ever wanted. and franke will let her have that, just for a little while, at the very least.
anyway. sorry. sorry for being crazy . this isnt even getting into the shit after the comic takes place . elkas stupid brainworld thag she has to overcome in order to finally be allowed in the polycule and live happily ever as worlds first lesbian divorceman
sorry for all the shit i make up instead of caring about actual characters with screentime . bye !
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nr1chaedickrider · 7 months
Text
'i just can't leave you alone.'
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need her so bad actually...... been thinking about perv nayeon sooo much.. real jihyo fans know where the title is from hehehe
cw: kinda stalker nayeon??, voyeurism (idk if its the right term but the members are next to them), unnie kink (aka nayeon gets turned on by you calling her unnie), dubcon, somnophilia, idk maybe even gaslighting? light bondage (hands are tied together)
not proofread bc its six in the morning im tired sorry for mistakes
_______________________________________
Nayeon, the oldest member of twice, is especially known for her love for the maknae line, especially you. Being the youngest member with 23, she always took care of you like the good unnie she is!!
But what if her care for you goes too far?
_______________________________________
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!" the member flood the gc with messages as soon you wake up.
You're now 24 years old.
You already know that the members planned something for you, especially nayeon.
She is behaving weird since some weeks...
Pictures of you sleeping appearing in your room after you come back home from schedule.. Its like she is watching you.
But its normal... right???
Its nothing bad. Or weird.
_______________________________________
You dress up, walking to the living room since its now later in the day, and the members of course want to celebrate with their dear maknae.
"hi guys" you greet them as you walk into the living room, they all smile at you and hug you, nayeon hugging you, but not wanting to let go.
"I love you so much Y/n, happy birthday!! Ive prepared something special just for you.." she whispers the last part. Sending you shivers down your spine.
You try ignoring it, starting conversations with your members, playing games, drinking and other stuff.
But it was like someone was watching you the whole time.
Of course, after some time, the members (actually mostly just jeongyeon and jihyo..) want to play with minas switch, so they start playing mario party. Nayeon sits down next to you on the couch while the other members are busy being competitive.
You feel a finger trace your thigh under the blanket.
You look at Nayeon who smirks at you.
"Nayeon- what are you doing" you whisper-shout, taking her hand and putting it away.
"Shhh.. you dont want them to hear, dont you?" she whispers into your ear, nibbling on it as she places her hand on your core.
"i-" your shocked.
Why is she doing this?
She cant.
She is like your big sister!
"nayeon stop-" you try pushing her away without the members noticing.
She thrusts her fingers inside, making you let out a whine which you quickly cover eith a cough.
The members are too busy playing those stupid games.
You try to hide your moaning, it feels good... But you cant do this.
"nayeon please-" you still try to push her away, her fingers burried deep inside of you.
She pulls her fingers out.
"Come to my room in an hour." she whispers seducingly in your ear.
What is she doing?
_______________________________________
You stand infront of Nayeons door, knocking.
Once, Twice.
She pulls you into her room, shutting the door and locking it.
A soft black silk cloth touches your wrist. You cant even progress what happens.
She pushes you to her bed, your wrists tied together in a tight knot.
"Nayeon-" you try to say something but she pushes you so much, you fall onto the bed.
She looks down at you, only know you realise she has almost nothing on.
"Im tired of doing this only when you're asleep.." she says, sitting down on your lap as she starts kissing your neck, sucking on it like a wild animal.
You let out some whimpers.
"Nayeon please- what do you mean-" you look at her while she eagerly takes of your shirt.
Your bra lands on the floor right after she took of your shirt.
"Your nipples are so hard... You just want me to suck them. Dont you baby?"she grins. Taking one of your erected buds in her mouth, sucking, nibbling on it.
A part of you enjoys it.
But most parts of you need to know what he fuck she said before..
"n-ahhyeon-", you try saying, "what do you mean with in my sleep-" you try silencing your moans. But damn is she good at this.
"Oh about that?" she smirks, leaving your nipple as she looks at you.
She gropes your tits with her hand as she smiles.
"I have been watching you in your sleep.. These cute pictures of you sleeping? I took them! They look amazing dont they?" she says so.. proudly?
"i-.. this is weird nayeon- you're perverted!" you say, trying to free yourself from the cloth that is tied to your hands.
"And what if i am?" she says, taking off your pants as well as your underwear.
"Your panties are so soaked.. you are enjoying this while calling me a perv??" she says smiling, her cold, long finger slowly circling your clit.
You whine a little. "No nayeon-" she continues circling your clit, slowly starting to rub it, with less and less softness.
"You want this. I know it.. or else you wouldnt react like this." she moves her finger to your face, showing you how its full of your slick.
"i-" you can feel yourself blush.
She shoves her fingers inside of your mouth, "suck." she demands you. You look at her weirdly, then slowly. You start to suck.
"Such a good girl for a perv." she whispers as she kisses your neck again, leaving marks here and there. You continue sucking on her fingers. The praise making you want this even more.
I mean a little pervertness cant hurt...?
She pulls out her fingers, and without even a warning, just shoves into your hole in a second.
You let out a louder moan.
She moves them fast, so eagerly.
"your moans sound better when you're awake.." she says, sucking on your nipple while her fingers are thrusting in and out of you.
Everything is overwhelming.
You start to sweat, your breaths are cut short. Your heart beats rapidly.
All because of Nayeon.
Already after some minutes, you feel yourself clench around nayeon fingers.
"Nayeon- i-"
"Cum for me princess." she interrupts you.
The princess sends you off as you cum onto her fingers, letting out a louder moan.
She slowly pulls her fingers out.
'Click' you look at nayeon, she took a picture???
"I should show this to her.." Nayeon says while smirking.
"Her?? What do you mean-" you ask, very confused.
"You will see." she says. Taking her clothes off.
"But now lets get back to us."
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tremendum · 5 months
Note
So glad you're back bestie! I just read Personal Lies [it was so so good! Thank you for the tag] and it made me imagine Dark!DBF!Joel sneaking into your room at night to use you.
You're asleep laying on your side, he crosses your arms over your chest and then crosses his own over yours to keep you pinned against him 👀👀
omg hiiiiii thank you bb!!! so happy to be back :') hope ur doing well and thanks for the love <33
also holy shit this has plagued my mind for days since i got this omfg. i got carried away bc this idea is sooo yummy thank you and god bless. i honestly dont know what this is im sorry can be read on its own or as part two to Personal Lies!
rating: explicit. (18+. mdni.)       word count: 1k  warnings: smut, dark!DBF!Joel, sort-of cnc, somnophilia, age gap (reader is 23+ & Joel is unspecified older), manhandling (Joel holds reader so they can't move), so much dirty talk, pet names - sugar, darling, pretty - degradation, dom!joel & sub reader. creampie.
masterlist Joel fics: Personal Lies i've got headaches... Mr. Miller Series fever landmines
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"darlin'," a voice curls in the dark of your bedroom - a deep thrill rolls through you as you shift under the sheets. the lock clicks in its place, as it has several times before, while you stir awake gently.
"Joel?" you call out quietly, schooling the shock from your face in case he can see through the dim moonlight. a hand trails up your leg, catching on the swell of your ass with a squeeze.
you don't even try to fight your sleepy sighs, too warm and comfortable in your bed - the dream you'd been roused from too enticing, delicious, seductive...
something in the back of your mind whispers that he probably would prefer if you were asleep, anyways - it sends a thrill through you. chills cascade over your legs at his touch as he crosses to the other side of the bed; the dip in your mattress sets butterflies through your chest, but you slightly shift to sit up. "Joel, I-"
a hand on the bare of your chest has your voice dying in your throat. "baby, c'mon, your daddy's just in the other room." he purrs, "you gotta stay quiet, now."
you swallow shakily, your heart thundering against the clamminess of your chest. "just keep sleepin' if y'need to sugar. gotta be inside you, though."
his words, his hands - your breathing shudders as your nipples pebble under your lousy tank top. you're throbbing in arousal, your body melting under the rough hands of the man. "Joel-" your voice sounds like a whine as you shift your thighs, his hands coaxing you back onto your side. "please." you whine.
he hums lowly, "shh, baby, be quiet. jus' be good and let me fuck you." sliding your sleep shorts to the side, your back arching with a jolt as two rough fingers part the seam of your cunt, his breath on your neck, body pressed hard to your back.
you think back to the first time - his hands on you, hard, eyes even harder. the look he'd given you when you'd returned from your old college town back to your dad's house for the summer, graduated and proud.
he'd wiped that proud smirk from your face, replaced it with bitten lips and bleary, blissed eyes.
you gasp out as you feel his thick cock, the head prodding between your lips, spreading your slick arousal as he rocks against you. involuntarily, your hips cant towards the edge of your bed, but strong arms grab you and pull you back swiftly.
you bite your lip as he rocks into your folds again, prodding your clit and making you suck in a gasp at the pleasure. "that's it, baby, spread your legs-" his hands grasp at your hip, pulling you back. you part your thighs, gasping as he bites on your neck, "wider."
you let out a breath at his hands, sliding over your frame and pinching a nipple. but then he's in you within seconds and you gasp - his hand clamping over your mouth and pressing, concealing the shuddering gasp from the stretch.
your eyes nearly roll back as his strong arms slink around you, pressing your arms hard into your own chest and snaking around you, pressing you impossibly into him. his scent surrounds you; plagues your sheets, your pillows with pine and amber and beer and him.
you can't move - your arms, held tight against your own chest with his as he starts to pound into you; one of his hands slides up, pressing against you and concealing your whimpers as they leak out of you with every slap of your ass against his hips.
"fuck," he hisses, "lettin' me do whatever I want t'you." he grunts, hot in your ear as you take him, hard and deep. he hits the spot in you that almost has you straining against him, your eyes drooping as sleep laces through you. "pretty little thing, waitin' for me all night with a warm wet cunt and a pretty smile. 's that right?"
he pulls your head to the side to try and see your face; as your eyes have adjusted in the faint moonlight, you can just make out the devastatingly handsome stare, his jaw set and teeth caught on his bottom lip. his eyes are dark pits that swallow you whole as he thrusts into you, lurking with the knowledge that you fell asleep tonight hoping he'd sneak in to take you.
his hand releases your mouth and you suck in a breath, his arms crossing back tightly over you as he edges you closer and closer to your bliss.
"show me that pretty smile." he utters quietly, sternly.
he pounds into you, hand pressing you back as you strain, letting yourself get fucked hard, wondering absently how badly this headboard creaks against the wall.
you smile anyways, staring back at his face, the dark twist of his features. you can see the glint in his eyes as he smirks, "tell me how much you love it."
you gasp, whispering with a heat in your cheeks, legs shaking, "I love it, Joel." your voice is weak, warbling as your smile melts into something more fucked-out, his thrusts sharp and deep.
he bites your neck, a particularly deep stroke into you sending your body careening away, his arms restricting you from moving. "that's right. you love getting fucked by your daddy's best friend."
you swallow, his words melting in your ear, your cunt clenching as you near your high, feeling full to the brim, fighting your hardest to stay quiet.
he always does this - tells you to be quiet, then pushes you, teases you, makes you talk until you're nearly screaming. it's... it's like he wants to get caught.
it's sick, and it coils something in your stomach.
you whimper into your pillow, shutting your eyes tight. his growl echoes into your ear as his hand hand frees your breasts from your arms and top, letting one hand cover them, pressing you tight against him once again.
when he cums, it's hot and sticky inside you, his chest shuddering with a deep groan.
but he doesn't leave; no, he holds you tight against him, letting your exposed breast shiver and peak against the exposed air as he gently rocks his spend back inside you.
"just go back to sleep, darlin'," his voice purrs once again, falsely kind, "you'll wake up when I need more."
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:
(begging) send requests!!! for Joel and Din!!! im begging! taglist: @satansgoatt @elissaaa @queerponcho @bbyanarchist @lapricot @umavvitch @asreadbyaj @dinsbaby @cottoncandytomu @switchbladedreamz @missannwinchester @abs-2020 @afandomidiot @cosm1c-babe @rogersbarnesxx @carleenphillips-blog @bonnibuckets @nightlovechild @jazzyspasms @girlboybug @cannolighost @pastelnap @userpedros @feministfanboi @frogers @grhowls @daddy-din @gothoppered @totallynotastanacc @robbatlover @casssiopeiaaa @wannab-urs @redhotkitchen @joelapologist2001 @silkiers @alltheseperfectimperfections @whorror-s @scarletthefierce
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:
304 notes · View notes
angels-fantasy · 17 days
Note
Congratulations on your followers milestone! Can I ask for the prompt "first fight" with Dabi?
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Scars and All
Dabi/Touya x Reader
Details/Warnings: lowkey toxic relationship, arguing, kinda angsty LMAO i'm sorry i cant help but make dabi angsty. hurt/comfort i think, angst to fluff? dabi is trying, okay? also dabi is called touya in this fic!
Word Count: 957
hello thank you sm for your ask and the congratulations :) i hope you like this, i really like dabi bc 1) hes hot lol and 2) hes such a well written character. also i'm going to start writing in all lowercase bc its what im used to and upper case drives me crazy!!
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loneliness was something that consumed you constantly. it was a scary feeling sometimes, especially because of the things it could drive someone to do.
you wished you didn't feel like this, but you couldn't help it.
before getting into a relationship with touya, you knew of the lifestyle he lived and how much of his time it took up. at first you thought you could handle it, but over time you soon realized that wasn't true. hours of him being gone quickly turned into days, sometimes even weeks and it was driving you crazy. you really wanted to try and continue to sit compliantly and let him do what he wished to do, but you were at your wits end.
sometimes you wondered why you even continued to put up with him, especially when you knew deep down that he'd probably choose to continue committing villainous acts over your relationship.
but you knew the answer to that-it was because you loved him, and sometimes love can make you do crazy things.
so now here you were; sitting on the old couch in your living room. the edges of the fabric having frayed ends and burn marks here and there from the moments touya let his temper get the best of him.
you can't remember how long you've been sitting there anxiously, waiting for your boyfriend to get home, but you felt your heart beat faster when you heard the front door being unlocked.
you wiped your sweaty palms on your pants and took a deep breath, trying to prepare yourself to confront touya, who sighed as he walked through the door and his heavy boots thudding along with each step.
he walked over to you and threw himself down on the couch, placing an arm around your shoulders and pulling you into him. moments like this made it hard to stay mad.
he placed a kiss on your temple, "hey. you miss me?"
you fiddled with your fingers as you leaned further into his chest, "of course i did. i'm glad you're home."
he tilted his head down to look at you, "then how come you don't sound happy, huh?" he asked, squeezing your shoulder as he did so.
you frowned, knowing he'd caught onto your bad mood already. he was way too perceptive sometimes.
"i am happy touya, i promise." you insisted, "it's just..."
"it's just what?"
you sat up from your position and faced him, but it was hard to look him in the eyes. "i just wanted to talk to you about something that's been bothering me."
he looked at you for a moment, expressionless, making you even more nervous until he said, "alright, what is it?"
you took a deep breath.
"you're never home touya, and i miss you." you frowned, "i worry about you and when you're gone for so long i get lonely. i miss spending time with you."
he groaned, "babe, do you not understand why i'm gone? or do i need to tell you, is that it?" he asked.
you regretted this now.
"no, i know why but it's just-"
"if you know why, then why do you fucking ask me?!" he yelled, making you shrink into yourself. you two had bickered over things before and there were even times when you needed space from each other, but touya had never yelled at you like this.
you could feel your eyes prick with tears and the lump in your throat grow, "touya don't yell at me!" you cried.
"i'm yelling at you so you get this through your god damn head!" he snapped, "i can't be here, sitting on my ass like you every fucking day. i have shit i need to do to make my plans happen!"
you gasped at his words. did he really think that's all you did?
"you know damn well i don't just stay at home on my ass, touya! i work too!" you said, tapping his chest with your finger as you pointed it at him.
"i buy the groceries! i make the food! i wash your blood stained clothes! i do everything i can, but you don't know because you're never here!" you yelled, taking a deep breath after so you could continue speaking.
you sighed heavily and spoke softly, your energy gone from yelling. "you're never here touya..." you sniffed, letting the tears run down your cheeks. you brought your hands up to your eyes to wipe them away, "i love you, so i miss you. i just wish you were home more so i don't have to spend my nights all alone."
touya was breathing heavily, but sitting silently as he processed your words. he was perceptive, sure, but he wasn't really good with emotions and dealing with people when they were upset.
feeling guilty, he wrapped his arms around your crying figure and hugged you tightly to his chest. he brought a hand up to your head and stroked it gently, shushing your cries. you stayed like that until your crying had become sniffles with occasional hiccups.
"i'm sorry," he said softly, "i'm sorry i'm always gone. i fucking suck at this, i don't know how to be here for you... but i'm going to do better now, for you, okay? i love you too. i don't say that enough."
you brought your hands away from your face and wrapped your arms around his waist, leaning your head against his beating heart and closing your eyes.
"as long as you try, touya. i know you're not perfect, and that's okay with me. i love you the way you are."
"scars and all?" he asked jokingly, making you giggle.
"scars and all."
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authors note
love ya!
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opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months
Text
Being high energy while sick feels insane. Like my brain is telling me I should lay down and rest but is also telling me I should run around in circles and break things.
#i think im getting better tho. i mean i still can feel my warped sickyness but idk my hormones maybe have me all fucked up#but like i told my mum i get these insane little hypomanic-esque episodes and she was immediately like could b ur hormones#i know a number of ppl like that. and i was like YES. thats obviously what it is but nothing comes up when i try to google things abt it#so there must b others out there. and it also implies that theres sometimes fucked up about my serotonin receptors bc when im like kinda#positively disregard i feel happy and i never feel happy. my typical emotional state is indifferent and apathetic#and then dips into light misery and very miserable but not like clinically depressed. but i was even like that while on vacation so even#removed from the stresses in my life i still am not happy. which is y its so hard when ppl r like do what makes up happy. relax#and im like. ok but like nothing works??? its either fucked up hormones or my lantent anxiety just keeps me from being happy#but whatever. im gathering so much data. when i go see a doctor im gonna pull out a spreadsheet and graphs and notes like a lunatic#bwahhh i wanna run. i have too much energy. fuck being sick. fuck having to work on a day off. fuck this#also fuck my menstrual cycle for being so short. like so short its sometimes not listed with the healthy range but only sometimes#just to make me think. i should probably talk to a doctor but. like its probably fine. its consistent so its fine#annoying. annoying. got u can tell when out of wack bc i post too much and cant shut thr fuck up lol#unrelated
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ma3mae · 11 months
Note
MAEEE AAAA I NEED PART TWO OD YOUR "NO BRAIN, JUST HORNY" HC AKSJDJDDJ
Make a part two??🥺🫶Maybe Chuuya and Nikolai?
No brain, just horny! 2
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Summary: Oh no! Your bf's acting all hot! What to do??? (Chuuya, Akutagawa, Nikolai, Fyodor)
Genre: fluff, crack, bit suggestive 🤓
Warnings: TO HORNY JAIL WITH YALL 💀✋
A/N: ANOONNN WKDJEKHFKS HERE U GO, SWEETIE 🤩🤩🤩 how can yall find rat man hot, idk man 💀 his parts rly short bc I CANT WRITE HIM so see it as a small extra 💀💀 not proofread btw 💀
Part 1
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Nakahara Chuuya
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😳 yall wanna get railed by this man, huh??
Cant blame u tho 💀😭 😭
honestly i think his reaction would prob depend on his mood, lowkey like rampo
Just that his reaction would be a bit more intense EHEH
idk if hes kinda busy at the moment and annoyed bc work is being a hoe, hed prob be all impatient like "Damn, doll. Im barely holding myself back as well so just wait a bit, will ya?"
As much as hed love to indulge u immediately, he still values his work yk 😔😔😔
ok yk what would be funny tho? Like he told u he'd be having a meeting at his work place and honestly, its not hard enough to know where it is bc its like legit one of the highest buildings (idk maybe even the highest???) in yokohama lmaoo
And you've been waiting for him to come back home after two weeks but noooo, he has to report everything to his boss 🤓🤓🤓🤓
so you're like "alright, im horny and been waiting for too long."Guess where we're going yall 😋😋😋😋???
TO HELL
Jk nah but we makin our way over there and lets just say they only know u as "the love of his life who def shouldnt be messed with if they wanna live" bc he'd go haywire AS HE SHOULD if anything happened to u 💀
Anyway we know when the meeting's being held so oopsie, we "accidentally" manage to find him in the hallway with some of his colleagues
"Oi, isn't that your girlfriend over there, Boss??" not only tachihara but everyone's confused on why u r even there??
Chuuya just whips his head around and doesnt know if he should just yeet himself outta the building or be happy to see you bc
YES
YES HE DID MISS YOU BUT WHY ARE YOU THEREEEE??💀💀💀💀💀💀😭😨
its especially bad if our boy still hasn't told you what hes actually doing bc no way in hell wants he to drag u into that shi 💀
Anyway you're just too excited so u ignore his to tomato face with a twitching eyebrow and you start to jog towards him but damn tf is that???
OF COURSE theres a bump sticking outta the carpet SMH SUE THE CLEANING STAFF😋
And obviously we all know whos gonna trip on that
But as embarassed as he is, your future hubby will make sure that you won't end up on the floor 💕💕
all you feel is a slight gust of wind and you can only open your eyes to see his gorgeous ones
"Don't just fall for me every time you see me, doll." LMAO thats so corny and he actually gets even more red when he realises wtf he just spouted out of his mouth but he couldnt help it 😭
Especially when hes holding you bridal style in his arms and you can feel him subconciously squeeze you tighter against him bc he missed his wifey
and we are just too whipped to stop ourselves from saying "Chuu chuu, i just couldnt wait anymore. Can we move this to our place? I'll be anything you want, even just a hole for you, mkay?"
HAHAHAHA WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS 💀
thats the EXACT question that goes through his mind as he just stares at you like 😳
But he cant deny that it made him feel hot, even down there a bit...
"Come in when you're done, Chuuya." is all you hear from HIS fking boss as he just sends the both of you a smile as he enters the room before closing the door
Help our man, hes so TORN
All he can do is take a deep breath, trying to stop his face from heating up bc its already hot enough as it is
He'll gently set you down but still keeps a secure grip around your waist with one arm
His gloved hand tilts your face slightly up and all you see is a sea of blue
Letting his gloved thumb slowly glide on your bottom lip
"You really like teasing me. Dont'cha sweetheart? Just give me 15 minutes and then we'll be at home. Honestly might scold you for your little stunt but it's not like you don't like that, right? But I gotta say...."
cherry sweet lips lock onto yours for what seems like only a second before feeling them on your forehead
"I did miss you pretty much...and I'll make it up to you. Thanks for your patience, love."
now YOU'RE the one who's face is about to explode and that annoying ass smirk of his isnt even helping u but oh well
He should be lucky that you're so in love with him and that his handsome looks always manage to hold you back from yelling at him out of embarassement 💀😳
He gives you a peck on the lips before giving you on last squeeze
"Only a little bit longer, okay? Will give you a proper kiss when we're at home."
He makes his way back but stops "Also I love you but please... wait at home next time. No need for anyone to see your cute ass here. Only mine to look at, yk.." the last part kinda gets muffled under his breath as he tilts his fedora down to hide his heated face but welp, ofc u heard everything 😋
Anyway, you let him go to his meeting with a wave with ur hand bc he did promise to make it up to you and your body would be tingling with excitement until yall get back home for yk what 😋😋😋💅
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Akutagawa Ryunnosuke
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ngl he'd make a similar expression to this pic here 💀 like hes fking constipated or smth
Give my man some time pls bc its his first relationship and he needs some minute to get it through his head that you feel sexually attracted enough to him to yearn for him, broo
"Can't you just... wait until we get home? Why now?" SKKSKS you think he sounds so pissed but hes just so confused 💀😭😭
lmao just came up with a ridiculous scenario
idk some random wannabe gang is stirring up some trouble in yokohama
And how do u resolve this problem as fast as u can?
By sending one of ur best men there who legit just slices them all in mere secs 😋
but wait whats that?
"Are you fucking kidding me?"
You just stare wide eyed at your boyfriend as he stands there infront of the mall, choking the living shit out of what seems to be some weird thug
"Ryu, what are you doing here?"
He just clicks his tounge out of annoyance and casually tosses the man to the side as he makes his way towards you
Stopping infront of you, you only see his furrowed eyebrows and the annoyed look on his face
But if you look closely, you'll see a glimpse of worry in them💕
"I could ask you the same thing. Didn't I telll you to stay at home? And specifically to not enter this area?"
You can only sheepishly laugh at his words and the huff at your answer wasnt that helpful
"Well, the mall here had your favorite tea on sale and I really wanted to surprise you with it!"
He just puts a hand on his face as you peek over his shoulder, only seeing whips and bits of rashomon dealing with the thugs while you boyfriend seems somehow unbothered by their presence, hell he was legit not even aknowledging them at this point 💀
"Let me just finish this real quick and then I'll take you home."
"But I still have t-"
A glare from him immediately zipped your mouth shut, deeming it unnecessary to argue with him any further since he could be very very stubborn
"Just stay behind me and wait."
If you had to be honest, watching your bf just casually beat the shit out of 20 or more men without even breaking a sweat made you feel really hot
He might be stoic, blunt or whatever everyone would call him but at the end of the day, he'd make sure you're well protected and cared for, even if it would take some nudges from you to guide him
He was a fast learner after all in every aspect of your relationship
And it wasn't until he poked your forehead that you snapped out of your trance, your face beet red and only for him to raise an eyebrow at you
"Don't tell me you got sick from just being outside for a bit? I really don't know how someone frail like you had managed to live for so long."
Harsh words yet the gentle press of his hand against your forehead was telling a different story
"Hm, you aren't heating up that much. But I'll still be taking you home."
"Can you stay with me then? Because honestly, watching that fight somehow made me really horny."
🤨 > 😳
"Are you kidding me? How does watching me beat the shit out of some random wannabe thugs make you horny?"
You can only groan at his answer but couldn't keep the smirk on your lips from growing as you noticed the red hue on his cheeks
"It's just hot to see how easy it was for you to just casually fend of all of them. Not to mention, that it's always nice to have a reminder what a strong and reliable lover I have. I'm just really lucky, I guess"
Ah, you smart vixen.
Always using his praise kink for your advantage and oh boy, he knows
But he just can't help his rising pulse at what your words just do to him
"W-Why-? Y-You-???"
Suddenly he grabbing your hand, he turns his body away from you, only his back in your sight as he continues to walk
"Ryu, are we walking ba-"
"Told you I'm taking you home. Someone has to make sure nothing happens to you since you probably wouldn't even know how to defend yourself."
"Aah, I see. Well I'll be sure to thank you properly when we're at home." 😋🤩
A hitched breath and his grip tightening around your hand really made it difficult not to laugh at him
Well, atleast it was nice knowing that you weren't the only one eager to get home asap 💀💀
At the end, you thanked him as promised and he made sure to make you feel safe as always
"Oh, thank you for the tea... I guess.." he'd mumble in your ear as he pressed your back against his chest, his arms tucked comfortably around you. 🤭
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Nikolai Gogol
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erm 😨 how about no?
Do u not value life?
Jk but his goofy ass would NEVER let u rest if u even show him a tiny bit on how horny you are 💀💀💀💀
bro's like "ew human desires, they only bind u" lowkey (not as hard as fyodor but yk what i mean)
but hes sadly down bad for his future or maybe already wifey so 😉 how could he 😉 say no 😉
like idk lets say for whatever reason u r also part of their rat gang 💀 and its honestly a big headache to endure his weird and annoying antics every day
But thats what made u fall in love bc u have bad taste 😋😋😋 same tho
is prob gonna tease u about that too like "Oh, Y/N~ So many men out there and yet you still chose me?? Either you're just very desperate or you just don't care at all! But don't worry, I'm more than happy to be the one who's on your mind all day 🤩🤩🤩" he says as he's casually bombing a whole building and kills hundreds of people 🤩
Thats for sure gonna be blowing ur mind for weeks 💀 IM SORRY
throw him into a trash can or smth 💀 jkjk maybe im not 💀💀
anyway back to the scenario 💀
lets say hes as always acting like the 🤡 he is and disrupting everyone's life by being plain annoying
Ok so fyodor threatened to kill him for the 100th time? Check.
Sigma's crying in his office bc he just escaped random pairs of scissors flying at him for the whole day? Check. someone has to cut that atrocious hair away, okur💀💀💀
Getting hit by gf after randomingly stealing kisses from her?
Che-
"But why won't you let me kiss you, Y/N????"
Dodging his attempts for what would seem the 30th time for the day, you hastily continued to make your way to Sigma, a box of self made cookies in your hand.
"You've been harassing everyone for the entire day as always! And don't get me started on what you tried to do to Sigma!"
You could only hear a whine as fast footsteps tried to outrun yours, you wanting nothing but wanting to somehow lift Sigma's spirits up since no one else would make their time to comfort him after the inhuman pranks your boyfriend couldn't refrain from doing
"But he's just so funny, you know! How could anyone resist not teasing him all day?!"
"Teasing doesn't mean endangering his life! Only because YOU don't like his hair!"
"Hmm, but won't you atleast give me one kiss before you go?"
"nope, never. Bye!"
Aah, you really shouldn't have challenged him 😨
"Well, then I guess you won't be needing that then!"
"Huh?"
A
"NIKOLAI GOGOL?! GIVE ME THE FUCKING BOX BACK!!" only hearing maniacal cackling quickly distancing itself from you, as he ran away with the box in his hand
Ah, he really was blessed with the perfect ability for him
Too stubborn and annoyed to realise his intentions, you quickly followed him, the urge of wanting to punch him pulling you towards him like a magnet
"A chase is what he wants? Okay, he'll get it." 😋😋
Knowing immediately that he made it too easy for the both of you as he nonchalantly laid on your shared bed, crumbs on his cheeks as he enjoyed your cookies, his mask casually laying next to him.
"You are more than an annoying child, you know that?"
"Yep but I don't care! Also how dare you only make cookies for your friend when you've got such a loving partner like me!"
A groan slipped out of you as you walkes over to him, earning yourself a "HEY?!" as you snatched the box away from him
"If you wanted some, you could have just asked like a normal person. I wouldn't have minded sharing some and Sigma probably not."
"Ugh, like a normal person? You know that's just boring~ buuuut if you really want me to then-"
You felt a pull at your wrist, making your chest hitting his as you landed on top of him, affectively stradling him
Both of your hands at the side of his head as you tried to lift yourself up, yet the arm around your waist stopping you, your faces only mere inches away from each other
A smirk splayed on his face as he wiped the crumbs away from his lips with his gloved thumb
Pressing it softly against your lips, the movement ingrained in your body as you opened them without any protest
a low chuckle at your cute actions as you licked the crumbs of his thumb before releasing it with a soft 'pop'
"Is that normal enough for you, my dove?"
Not letting the heat on your face and body stop you from throwing remarks at him, you merely stated "That wasn't asking, just plain seduction at this point."
Letting his eyes trail over your body and the hands next to him, tightly clutching the sheets only spurred him further on.
"Well, I've got your attention now, right?"
"You're lucky that I love you."
"Isn't it good to know we're both obesessed, dearie?"
A whine left his lips as you tucked at his hair at that statement, grazing your teeth across his neck before harshly biting on it.
"Well, then end what you've started then."
"Gladly."
Getting hit by Y/N after randomingly stealing kisses from them? Hair pulled, make out sessions and more after annoying them? Double Check.
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Fyodor Dostojevski
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💀 im dead, you're dead, we're all DEAD
ok jk he wouldnt kill u bc even if he wont admit it immediately, he loves u 😋
but why would u feed his annoying god complex like that 😨😨
but guess what 😋 youve always had bad taste so why not be together with a terrorist 🤩
Ur only dates would be either sitting in his stinky room full of computers as hes been sitting there for days and you're chilling on his lap
or yall actually go outside to ruin someone's life 💅
and honestly, what better way to confirm that humans r horrible af when he sees you get turned on by his horrid acts 💀💀💀
"I just took a life infront of your very eyes and all you say is how hot that is? Well, aren't you ruined to the point of return? But that's what makes you so interesting, I guess."
UGHH IDK HOW YALL CAN LOVE HIM 💀💀💀
i think it would be rly difficult to actually turn him on as well at first
Or catch him off guard tbh bc all you'd get is a condescending smirk of him just teasing you
He'll prob also just call u out about how horny you are but its ok bc he loves having that effect on you 🤩
"Is it seeing someone's eyes lose their light? Killing the gifted because the world would be purer without them? Tying them up and choking the life out of them? Or is it because I am the one doing these acts? Planning it all out, only for you to witness it? How about I'd do it to you, hmm?"I FEEL ITCHY AFTER WRITING THAT 💀
tbh it depends how "horny" u r tbh bc he'd prob make you beg for it first by just telling u off n stuff until you cant take ir anymore
Like if you want him then SHOW him how much you want him 🤩
he prob has not that much of a stamina but he'd make up for it with technique what am i writing rn😭😭😭😭
anyway you'd def be satisfied but he'd prob make you work for it first before tending to ur "needs"
im crying i hate this
😭
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A/N: DAMN already hit 400 followers?? thinking of maybe doing smth for that, idk what tho. Got too many ideas 💀 and lmao sorry for the radio silence 💀 writers block and life, we love it.
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mortalfollies · 27 days
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9 Favourite Albums - Choose 9 & then tag 9 people! Or you can do nine singles or EPs, whatever lol.
Tagging @cactus-bag @catsafari25 @labyrinthal @sleeeepy-demon @retourne-toi-eurydice @belladonnafey @scorpius-rising @cry4judas @atuans @nicey-sandokan @evyes no obligations feel free 2 ignore
Albums listed (and me rambling) under the cut
TIME - ELO: my mum's favourite album that i first Properly listened to when i was 13. it's just the best sci-fi concept album ever....i love you jeff!!
13 Tales of Love & Revenge - The Pierces: sexy indie duo, most known for the song Secret, which isn't even in the top 5 of the best songs of the album. a treasure from when i was 11, and just figuring out i like girls.
Greatest Hits - The Eagles: again, my mum's interests becoming my own. it was really hard to pick between this and Long Road Out of Eden, but ultimately the greatest hits r that for a reason.
Laurel Hell - Mitski: my fave mitski album, heat lightning is underappreciated!!! and yeah just. its about solitude. recognition but not in the way you wanted or expected. emotional rollercoaster. im not eloquent enough to describe it and mitski does it better in under 2 minutes anyway.
Strange Trails - Lord Huron: again another hard toss between this and long lost but st wins out purely bc the transitions rule, and meet me in the woods + the yawning grave make me crazyyyy. so happy i got to hear those live in jan. lord huron is like what if a cowboy was also a ghost. thats the only way i can describe it.
Electra Heart - Marina and the Diamonds: i am not immune to music i heard at 12 years old. shame she's never made anything as good as this again.
Are We Having Fun Yet? - Black/Colin Vearncombe: another one of mum's. She found this guy when someone at Sanity was playing the album over the store speakers. loved it ever since, and introduced it to me. wistful ballads, jazzy touches, a little bit sexy.
Coyote Stories - The Crane Wives: this was a 2016-18 discovery maybe? i just know i was in school. im into folk indie i cant help it.
Wasteland, Baby! - Hozier: shout out to afro-elf for posting about movement n the whole ep, which is what spurred me to actually try this dude's music. and now i love him. but wasteland baby is immaculate: no skips, he roars in some songs and is as gentle as drizzle in others.
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dishsaop · 2 months
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listen. im not saying the Avatar Yangchen duology is the most serious, heartbreaking, well-written, or adult story ive ever read. it isnt. but it also took me by fucking surprise. the torture scene? yangchen's successive breakdowns? jetsun's death and fate? all the deaths?? that one dead kid? (and all the other dead tortured child army kids??) the slow endless horror of the avatar cycle? being literally haunted and fucking lost in the countless incarnations of yourself and the knowledge that you have to dirty yourself for eternity with guilt, failure, death, and sin to save a bare few in the face of a world that will never stop trying to kill itself? having to make peace with that?
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yangchen is so compelling to me. everyone loved her brief moment in the Avatar show, because of her stark "You have to abandon your own spiritual needs for the betterment of the world". but the novels drive that home in an interesting way.
yangchen is faced with greed on an unparalleled scale, and it is tearing the world apart. she is so desperate to do some good - shes so haunted by her countless past lives and desperate to at least not have regrets the same way they all do. she builds a spy network from nothing before she's even a teenager because she cant trust anyone, and at every step she is betrayed over and over by literally everyone she cares about, every choice she makes hurts or kills people, she spends almost the entirety of the second novel hopped up on enough drugs to would kill an ordinary person just so she can stay awake bc shes so terrified of hesitating for a single second. i cant figure out if haunted or chronically ill is a better term for whatever is happening in her brain but its. its fucked.
in a lot of ways she is objectively terrible at both avatarhood and being a spy, but she is exactly what the world needs. she so desperately loves her people, her culture, mercy, pacifism, and systematically cuts every tie to these things, no matter how much it hurts. she gets her hands so fucking dirty, she abandons her principles in every circumstance but one (the last Unanimity), she lets murderers and torturers go free and takes immediate economic control of half a world to abuse it.
and its the right decision. i know she gets flak because of how hard kuruk had to invisibly work the next cycle to fight the spirits yangchen pissed off, but yangchen's whole character is about balance, even more than aang's ever was, imo. aang gets a nearly perfect happy ending (which is good! there were good morals and a great story about culture and peace and genocide in the show, im not criticizing it) but yangchen's story really is wholly about balancing the world and the sacrifices you make to keep it even. for all that shes not a great avatar, shes actually a perfect avatar. she fixed it.
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alao, kavik is fascinating. im putting him in a terrarium and shaking it. and the stark criticism of the white lotus the entire time... the implication they caused the platinum affair... ayunerak and do flatly admitting they will let (and even help along) the nations crash and burn in an apocalyptic war without fighting to stop it if it means they have control and can pop out of a bunker at the end to reshape society.... augh.
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