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#imposter syndrome to the max
conquerthenight · 1 month
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I’m glad that going back to uni means I get out of the house, but I feel like my inspiration and motivation for writing fics has totally plummeted ever since. I have so many ideas but when I can get the spoons to sit down and write them it never seems to come out right if at all.
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clrmymnd · 2 years
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I have to keep reminding myself that if I wasn’t ready, the opportunity wouldn’t have been presented to me.
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sangpires · 7 months
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astarion does the talking in my party...
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me: has gone through extreme childhood trauma, cannot remember anything from when i was a kid, and has only two other parts that i cannot talk to and i really hate for being horrible people
also me: wow. im such a faker. im literally lying and faking all of this. i have to be. wtf im so awful
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currently writing max, will, and el for its rotten work as a little trio of besties who gossip about the boys and call them out for being wildly immature (lucas, mike, dustin) and i’m loving it. they’re so bitchy and sassy hahaha.
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bucketofchum · 3 months
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Been dealing with some really bad self esteem shit lately...
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llazyneiph · 1 year
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I hope this isn't a weird compliment but your mods are some of the coolest and well done I've ever used thanks for making them
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tysm thats genuinely rlly lovely to hear...
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maulsoleum · 11 months
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i think i have so many hang ups about what to label my kintypes is bc i'm both holding myself to standards that don't matter, and trying to put myself into boxes.
i see myself as a dog and cryptid physically as well as psychologically. the death and decay is purely psychologically though. and that messes me up.
it's not physically a being like the other 2 thereotypes and i can't attempt to box it up neat so my brain stalls.
i don't have to box it up, it's still very much a kin type if not physically represented. they can coexist even if not existing together. i can call myself a decaying dog because i feel i'm decaying even if physically i'm just a dog.
my thereotypes and kintypes present differently and thats okay. one is who i am physically and mentally and the other is how i am metaphorically.
brains are silly folks. brains are silly.
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outrosword · 1 year
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today had a meeting at work for performance evaluation c:
it went very well and i got a raise C:
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reality-detective · 6 months
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How OPERATION SCARIANT 2023 is being used to launch Plandemic 2.0 Plandemic 2.o is an integral piece of the Great Reset implementation plan and New World Order agenda to be executed in earnest this Fall of 2023. OPERATION SCARIANT, which features the extremely ‘scary’ Omincron subvariant known as Eris, is the main show for folks who are still captivated by this ridiculous government-sponsored but extremely serious genocidal enterprise.
Nevertheless, there are numerous reasons why the Khazarian genocidal bioterrorists are hellbent on rolling out Plandemic 2.0 this Fall. The following list presents only some of the most significant NWO goals, WEF objectives and WHO targets. (1) To cover up the massive excess death numbers directly resulting from the ongoing Covid vaccine genocide across America (and global depopulation scheme)
(2) To stealthily kill vaccinated children who are now much more vulnerable to the bacterial infections associated with Eris (aka Omicron [B.1.1.529] a subvariant of SARS-CoV-2
(3) To intensify the slow-motion slaughter of vaccinated 20 to 45 year-olds who are now much more susceptible to myocarditis, pericarditis, blood clots and other fatal heart ailments
(4) To further turbo-charge the numerous medical ailments and health conditions, chronic diseases and autoimmune syndromes, psychological disorders and psychiatric illnesses across the entire population, all of which have seen HUGE upticks post-Covid vaccination
(5) To murder as many retirees as possible in order to reduce the Social Security & Disability, Medicare and Medicaid rolls
(6) To massacre as many individuals, who suffer from multiple comorbidities and/or terminal diseases, who are still living after Plandemic 1.0
(7) To eliminate as many Baby Boomers as possible as well as the Beat Generation elderly, especially the anti-establishment types
(8) To provide maximum distraction from the many Democrat crime sprees being investigated by the House
(9) To divert the attention of the electorate from the multiple crime waves perpetrated by the Biden Crime Family and especially by the POTUS Imposter and Criminal-in-Chief
(10) To create maximum chaos, confusion and conflict throughout the last year of the 2024 election cycle so that the Democrats can steal yet another POTUS election, as well as to set the stage for a long-planned American Bolshevik revolution
(11) To provide a pretext to deploy yet another highly weaponized and lethal Covid ‘vaccine’ by which to rapidly intensify Plandemic 2.0.
(12) To significantly supercharge the previously administered kill-shots, clot-shots and cancer-shots thereby increasing SADS and SIDS as well as excess deaths across the board
(13) To sufficiently scare the American people back into the same space of extreme fear and anxiety about the COVID-19 contagion so they will fully submit to the Covid Super Vaccination Agenda (and demand that everyone they know get vaxxed to the max)
- Benjamin Fulford 🤔
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damn that imposter can really syndrome
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takovanormalnielie · 2 months
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5.3.2024
Vracím se z psychiatrickýho vyšetření a je mi příšerně. Bála jsem se oholit, abych nějak nepokazila ten proces a samozřejmě mi pořád nic nepadá. Nemohla jsem se nalíčit. Nemohla jsem jít ven fem. U doktorky jsem měla pocit, že podvádím. Divila se, že se neprezentuju fem i když to o sobě říkám. Snažila jsem se jí to vysvětlit, ale měla jsem pocit, že mi nevěří. Připadala jsem si jak u výslechu, kde musím jednoho člověka přesvědčit o tom, že jsem trans a u toho vypadám jak vlasatej pán. Absolutní peklo. Imposter syndrome maxed out on instant. Teď se modlím za to, aby mi ten posudek napsala pozitivní. Vůbec nevím, co bych dělala, kdyby mi ta hormonálka nevyšla. Už jsem tak daleko a nemůžu dál čekat. Všechno jsem tomu přizpůsobila. Doteď mě ani nenapadlo, že by to třeba nevyšlo. Brala jsem to za hotový. Tohle je přece naprostá šaškárna. Pět různejch lidí rozhoduje o tom, jak bude vypadat moje budoucnost. Proč nestačí třeba dva, nebo proč nestačí podepsat informovanej souhlas? Je to stresující, nejistý, otravný. Opravdu potřebujem další stres? Máme ho jako málo? Co!?
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kingmaxstatic · 1 month
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Confession: I don’t like the dynamic of Surge, Kit and Starline (and that isn’t the writers’ fault)
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(Tw; Discussions of Verbal Abuse)
Okay I have to tact something else onto this: I’ve never fully read imposter syndrome or.. really anything around the glitch trio. I’ve only skimmed the pages with them. I ofc know the lore and what goes on but like I can never bring myself to read anything with the imposter syndrome squad in it.
There’s actually like!!! Super personal reasons for that.
I was raised in a Verbally Abusive household. I won’t get super detailed about it, of course but that is THE reason why I don’t think I can touch this comic.
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And this was it. This was the panel that made me decide “Yeah I’m sorry I can’t read this”. It makes my heart drop, my breath pause and stomach turn into a pit. Because I’ve BEEN in Kit’s place before.
I know, I know “take it easy it’s just a drawing”.
But I dunno these feelings aren’t those I want to feel when reading a Sonic Comic.
And this isn’t to say I hate Surge and Kit OR some of the shit that comes with them. Obviously.
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Love these goobers! There’s a reason I draw them so damn much! They’re an interesting premise with lovable personalities to boot!
But I can’t like.
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Take shit like this.
Now a lot of you might be thinking “But Max! We see your Starline Icon and your DOZENS of posts about him!”
And you’re right about that! I ended up liking Starline around the metal virus arc (When I started reading IDW! I started off with that arc while we were in like. The middle of it, do not recommend)
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So the version of Starline I ended up liking was the one who was only JUST realizing Eggman wasn’t actually all he was cracked up to be
(Get it. Egg. Cracked)
And I really enjoyed this progression of Starline’s characters. I thought “Wow he’s kind of an asshole but I like him! He’s neat!”
So just SEEING some of the stuff from imposter syndrome is like. Horrible for me. Because you take a character I liked and turn him into the most (and I hate to say this) triggering thing to me. It just leaves me with mixed feelings.
Like I’m not saying Starline should be an “Unproblematic King” obviously. I love this guy in all his douche bag glory.
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But yeah thanks for listening to me ramble! Join me next time where I kin assign all the IDW characters as mlp species/j
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phatcatphergus · 2 months
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max ranting about how seriously upset he gets at people who say tubbo sucks at lore and then telling tubbo he has imposter syndrome and has actually done incredible things that have changed the minecraft community and twitch as a whole for the better was so sweet we love maxggs in this household
Maxggs is the funniest man alive and I want- no… need him to join tumblr bc he would fucking THRIVE here and we could be mutuals and make fun of people :3
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Okay, can they hug each other and to fight to death tomorrow to stay in a positive mind, at the end of this gp. They need it at this point. In any case, Max doesn’t appear to be reluctant. 🫠
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Second time of my shitty life that I see someone criticizing Charles with bullshit. My night will not be in peace if I don’t spit out my anger.
So : Human has been created with the faculty to fail. What we consider as fails allow us to evolve, AND sadly drivers couldn’t escape to that. Then, in many cases, we need more than one mistake to have the process to understand what we can do, to be better next time. Charles has this fucking ability to question himself at any times, he has even this imposter syndrome on several aspects.
Max understood this, that why he’s never angry against him because he knows that Charles doesn’t to be lectured, he’ll do it himself. Thing that too many drivers will never capable to do it. Even Max, sometimes (sorry Max I love you but we need to say it), that why he’s admiring Charles on this point for me. Max knows that Charles can be too critical with himself, so he just move on and defending until death his man. Because to attack a man that suffering enough, will be a humiliation and killed a man on the ground. Like Max had known in his childhood with his father.
Max is angry only with the stubborn drivers who never want to admitting their fault, not only when it concerns him, it’s with everyone. That why we believe in lestappen, because they’re the perfect expression of opposite attracts and birds of a feather come together. 💜
That it for tonight I guess. 🫠
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could u elaborate on darius camila fake dating? ill assume its for convenience's sake but ure so right the complicated feelings this would stir in luz, hunter and even vee are delicious
Okay so, I don't usually write fanfic, but I do have several fanfic scenarios and jumping off boards that I, when inclined, rotate in my mind like a DVD. Most of them are remarkably silly and arbitrary in premise, and the Darius and Camilla fake dating scenario is no exception.
To set the scene, it's post canon, w/ a working portal at Luz's disposal and Hunter flitting between a couple houses atm
The Nocedas and Deamonnes are having family dinner in the human realm. Things are going well! Darius is telling mostly non-morbid stories (bc based on CotH he CAN get morbid when he wants), Camila is impressed by the things he has to say even if he's not so subtly bragging as he goes on (both about himself as a matter of bravado, but also about Camila's kids. They're tough little bastards and he admires them, even if he'd never admit it)
Luz and Vee like to push Darius' buttons bc frankly it's stupidly easy and rewarding to do so (he is an irritable man, Luz is a mischievous lil scoundrel and Vee is, fundamentally, a silly creature. Vee's still nervous around witches (excluding the hexsquad) so Luz takes the lead w/ teasing)
Meanwhile, Hunter's having the time of his life!!! He's getting double the amount of parental praise and affection he normally gets!!! Big win in his eyes!!! He's never realised how much he likes his lives in the human and demon realm intersecting until now.
and, obviously, the stars of this hypothetical show, Darius and Camila. on the surface they seem very different, and they definitely are to an extent! Camila's naturally a sweet woman with a tougher more authoritative side that she reserves for when her loved ones are in trouble. Darius is a naturally cold and sophisticated person who only reveals the softer side of himself to those he's close with. she's very sincere and has been at this whole 'parenting' thing for a while, Darius has a few layers of persona and hard outer-shell on at all times and he's literally only been something close to a parent for like. a few months max.
but fundamentally they both feel massively out of their depth. right now, they both have a bigger support network than ever before, but the fact is that they've both been very lonely people until recently, and they're used to doing things with maybe one person by their side, max. they have all these people eager to help them, but also all this fear of Doing It Wrong and i feel like they're both people who're very conscious of how they're perceived by others. it makes them want to pull away and keep doing things the way they always have. but seeing that same imposter syndrome and concern born out of love in each other is...nice. it's nice to know someone else gets it. that they're not alone.
It's a wonderful time all around, until someone (stealing the idea of it being Camila's coworkers from another anon) unexpectedly calls to the house for a visit (ig Camila forgot abt clinic potluck night)
IMMEDIATE panic breaks out; Vee greets the guests at the door and stalls while Luz and Camila shove Darius and Hunter into another room to quickly try and come up with an exit plan. There's one obvious solution: summon the portal and go.
We could say there's an issue with this somehow (idk maybe stringbean ate the portal key and they're waiting for her to cough it up) OR we could just say that while Luz and Hunter want to be responsible, protect the demon realm and all that, they were also having a really good time. Luz loves talking about her adventures in the demon realm to her mom, Hunter's only now realising how happy having two parents/families makes him, even Darius is coming out of his shell as the night goes on.
And thus, the Boyfriend Suggestion is given
(rest under the cut bc holy fuck this is long)
Which is to say, Hunter says they can excuse Darius' presence by claiming he's Hunter's previous foster parent/social worker/etc (since I think the only way Camila can really justify the 5 extra kids that stayed in her house over summer with 2 of them staying to people in town would be something like foster care)...AND Camilla's new boyfriend, hence why he's here for the night :] <- this is the face Hunter is making @ Camila and Darius btw
Now, this may seem like a lot of mental gymnastics on Hunters part to keep the night going. And it is! But fortunately, hunter has experience with mental gymnastics. Especially if it's for something that he really really wants. It's not entirely selfish on his part, he's perceptive can tell that both Camila and Darius are lonely people deep down. he wants to see the people he cares about being happy and connected and they were just getting along so well!
Maybe the extra connection is an unnecessary detail, but in his eyes, the worst thing that could happen is a slightly awkward evening, while the best thing that could happen is he gets to live like this forever. Hooray! He is not going to investigate his own possible desire to have a more conventional family structure btw. He definitely doesn't have any leftover fears about non-conformity and being neglected left over from the emperor's coven. Absolutely not.
exiting out of hunters inner monologue and returning to the scene- Camila laughs, Immediately and nervously, because really? Darius? her boyfriend??? As if her co-workers are going to buy that the middle aged, nerdy widow with the famously unpopular daughter managed to snag a 6 ft tall, buff-ass Adonis who, while not being able to tell them that he's secretly a beautiful elf man, you still kinda tell. There's a Vibe he's always radiating, even in human disguise mode.
She genuinely means it when she says all this, she thinks she's just being realistic, but it makes Luz, Hunter and Darius sad to hear. Luz and hunter love Camila SO MUCH. Darius has really appreciated her company tonight. they don't want to hear her talk bad abt herself.
And maybe it's Darius' own rebellious nature that spurs him to contradict her. He's the kind of guy who believes in sticking it to ppl and proving that you're not the person they thought you were! And he's not above petty victories either. He looks at Luz and Hunter. They look back at him. He steels himself.
He pretended to be a coven head for years. He's played the role of someone cool, calculating and utterly unattached to the point of nearly convincing himself along with everyone else...
...So surely he can pretend to be his son's mom's boyfriend for a night!
and essentially any amount of shenanigans can spiral out of that premise, lol.
You can have Darius fumbling his way through pretending to be a human!
(He's doing his best. Hunter is guiding him but he's also wrong a lot of the time. Honestly Camila's coworkers look at Luz and think back to Manny and are like. Yeah that checks out this woman's a weirdo magnet)
You can have Camila and Darius!
(2 full grown adults who haven't had significant committed relationships in a while) trying to figure out the Right Amount of fake affection and PDA it takes to be convincing w/o being weird
Darius not knowing how to operate around the Noceda girls now that he's been put in this liminal paternal space for the night. Gives them both these awkward head pats and then internally cringes
You can also have the kids wildly differing emotional responses to this frankly absurd scenario! I genuinely cannot afford to make this any longer than it needs to be so maybe I'll expand on this idea some other time BUT in my mind it's a lot of...
bickering between Luz and Hunter about if this is really necessary (they are both self motivated rn but in ways that are understandable)
Vee not even knowing how to approach the idea of Camila having a boyfriend/her having more than one parent (this is all very new to her). I'm honestly torn about whether she'd warm up to Darius and be happy at the idea of having a bigger family or if her own fears of abandonment would lead to her being possessive/protective of her mom. It could go either way depending on how you characterize her relationship to Darius
Luz knowing that it's fake but still having a visceral reaction to just the idea of her mom dating and finding herself torn between wanting her mom to be happy and not being ready to accept any new father figures in her life after losing her dad
Hunter realising that Luz is uncomfortable and that in his pursuit of his dream family he may have accidentally put the first person to make him feel like family in immense emotional conflict
There'd probably be some family conflict either during the coworkers visit (prompting them to leave) or after they're already gone. Mostly about Darius and Hunter being not totally honest and kinda Weird the whole night, and the Nocedas unprocessed grief that they've both been refusing to deal with for a while.
Then however the hypothetical fic would resolve is up to you! Do Darius and Camila actually get together? Does one catch feelings but the other is still hung up/hesitant? Do they just stay friends and confidants? It's all up to the imagination baby
Anyway, sorry for the terrible wait on this answer anon, I've had several funks/episodes in the interim between starting and finishing this ask, hence why it got delayed lol. It's probably not as polished as it could be, and is really just a functional ramble about things I don't think I'll ever write, but it was definitely a fun ride lol
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