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#incorrect dresden files quotes
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Morgan: Do you want to know how I actually hurt my wrist?
Harry: Yes.
Morgan: *pulls out some Polaroids* I was hula-hooping. Luccio and I attend a class for fitness and for fun.
Harry: Oh my God.
Morgan: I've mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie-doodle...
Harry: Why are you telling me this?
Morgan: Because no one...will ever believe you. *he pulls out a lighter and sets them all aflame*
Harry: *literally enraged* You sick son of a bitch.
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dresden: Ayo, what the FUCK is this?!? marcone, sitting down, surrounded by corpses: I won Mafia, that’s what.
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reallifejedi · 1 year
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Butters: so when you lost consciousness and fell down like an overwhelmed Victorian woman
Harry: I fell normal. I fainted in a normal way
Butters: you put the back of your hand to your forehead and spun around
Harry: that never happened I fainted in a normal or maybe even masculine way
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incorrect-dnd-classes · 6 months
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Fighter: Did you really save the world…? Rogue: Mostly I was saving my own ass. Just happened that the world was in the same spot.
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uncorrectintamed · 1 day
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Wei Wuxian: I'm brilliant as well as skilled. It's a great burden, all of that on top of my dashing good looks, but I try to soldier on as best as I can.
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alwaysanovice · 4 months
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Harry: I think I'm coming down with something, I feel really nauseous lately. Thomas: Maybe you're pregnant. Harry:.... Thomas: .... Harry: I don't know what's more messed up, the fact that that was your first suggestion, or the fact that my life is so weird I genuinely considered that for a moment.
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incorrect-x-quotes · 3 days
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Nightcrawler: Did you really save the world…? Mystique: Mostly I was saving my own ass. Just happened that the world was in the same spot.
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What can I do for you? Wait. Allow me to rephrase. What can I do to most quickly get rid of you?
Haymitch (to Katniss)
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landfilloftrash · 1 month
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He has one mode and it's "tormenting Dresden" (due to a grief and anger unaddressed for 30ish years) almost as always with me; @anotherramblingfangirl for the incorrect quote drawn
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Conan: Well done, KID! You’re handling this whole thing rather well.
KID: I don't think I am, Tantei-kun.
Conan: Then you’re freaking out in the most useful way possible. Keep it up.
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powerofnerd · 11 months
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Molly: it’s pride month Harry, you know what that means
Harry: huh
Harry: what
Harry: you you want me to do like, gay magic?
Molly: …
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Murphy: Dresden, this is a crime scene.
Harry, taking three quarts of ice cream out of the victim's freezer: What? Is this the murder weapon?! Get off my dick!
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Marcone: Are we fighting or flirting? Dresden: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck- Marcone: Your point?
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reallifejedi · 2 years
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Harry: how come koalas aren't considered bears?
Butters: because they're marsupials
Harry: ...
Harry: bEcAuSE tHeY'rE mArSuPiALs
Harry: no. It's because they don't have the right koala-fications
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incorrect-dnd-classes · 6 months
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Warlock: Go kill them. Problem solved. Cleric: Warlock, you can't just go around killing people. Warlock: I know. That's why you should do it. Cleric: No, no. I can't go around killing people, either.
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afdg10 · 1 year
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*Harry rushes by with an armful of water bottles*
Thomas: What's going on?
Michael: Harry wouldn't drink water.
Thomas: ...And?
Michael: And I asked them how fast he could chug an entire bottle.
Harry, loudly: 16 OUNCES IN TEN SECONDS, BITCHES!
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