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#instead of the caption will allow my stuff to show up in the /search
yournightowl · 1 year
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Your Night Owl #002
The oldnet is kind of a dump- (But in a good way) (ò▂ó)!
Getting my comp ripped enough to squeeze back here was a chore, but now that i’m here it’s just
Empty. A lotta empty.
i can navigate around fine, but almost all external image hosting is down. Makes the whole place feel really glum, and more than a little dark.
Which is cool!
A lot of the videos are still up, even if they’re not in great shape. Audio’s missing most of the time, but the caption files are never that far out of the way. I’ve been thinking about patching together some of what i’ve found into my own little “silent film” festival, but i don’t think that the video format will transfer well.
Almost all the footage is people talking directly into the camera very energetically. They all make this one pose, too.
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Archaeologists say that art reflects the beauty standards of its time, in which case, i think everyone the oldnet was really attracted to:
People who have just found a thing 
People who dress garishly
People who are loud
i was surprised (in a depressing kind of way) to see how little net etiquette has changed. Even 60 years ago, people were already using their real names for more things than not. i guess it’s pretty different when it’s all voluntary instead of mandated, but still. 
The tech is disappointingly “user-friendly” too. Paywalls. Ride-a-long-ware. Terms and conditions and conditions and conditions. How far back do i have to go to find software where you could just say “No” instead of “Remind me later”?
i wasn’t expecting the oldnet to be full of “Cyberpunks” using the internet to sow chaos and civil disobedience, but 
i guess i was hoping to find people using the net for more than just buying clothes.
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But it’s not all bad! The oldnet’s censors are skid compared to what we’ve got now. So, using a little bit of creative search-engine-reverse-optimization, i managed to dig up something funny and relevant for you all!
Everyone knows that Noble Electronics was founded by the “Technocrat-of-Technocrats” Aliza D. Sanders- Except it wasn’t!! 
Turns out, Sanders’ real achievement was winning a lawsuit back in ‘53 so that she could start calling herself Noble’s founder- Even though she was actually just  the angel who bought out the company 3 years in (Back then, the term angel investor wasn’t ironic- Who knew?)
In light of this revelation and because no one cares what i change around here, i’ve made some corrections to her bio results.
Sanders might be a fraud, but it is true that the Noble Electronics Technology, Inc. (Electronics and Technology? <(・O・)> Incredible!) founded in the 50′s doesn’t have anything in common with the Noble looming over us today, other than the ticker symbol. Every corp that survived the 60′s emerged a lot more brutal, but Noble’s undergone an additional metamorphosis these past few years cause of their dominance in the android market- and it’s made them really, really, really goddamn rich.
I’d put it into numbers for you here, but they’ve gotten so big that defining them by their stock price feels
Wait i have a good one for this
It feels like 
Orz
“Too big to fail” originally meant that a corp was too vital to the economy to be allowed to implode, but these days it feels depressingly literal. 
i feel like if Noble fell over, it’d just restabilize under its own gravity.
And then it’d hang over our heads like a low orbiting moon.
A low orbiting moon trying to sell you something.
On that lovely note-
Signing off for now,
your night owl
(^◕_v_◕^)
EDIT: 
i was lying when i said that stuff about video formatting stopping me from showing others what i’ve found here.
i just don’t think anyone would care besides me.
EDIT2: 
To the weirdo responding with keysmash:
Thank you, (;¬_¬) but i didn’t ask!!
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monarchisms · 4 years
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rawr~
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dam-mango-cheese · 3 years
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ok hi I just wanted to come on here to say that this fandom really needs to get our shit together. it's not just about the toxicity and stuff, it's the rude and toxic things we've normalized to the point that we don't even notice when someone does it. so here goes a list of stuff we need to stop doing also I'm pissed rn sorry if I come off as rude. this is also not directed at anyone in particular so please don't take offense.
uh giving credit????? "giving credit who??" you may ask. well. let's start with artists. if you repost someone's art, pLEASE for the love of god give credit. it's not that hard. if you find art on google, pinterest, etc. and don't know who to credit, then don't post it??? it really is that easy. or you could do a reverse image search, if you don't know how to do that on your device, google it. if you don't know what google is?? go back to that rock you were living under before thanks.
moving onto the second part of the giving credit point. CHECK THEIR PROFILE BEFORE POSTING. many artists don't allow reposts. or sometimes they want you to ask for permission first. some artists also allow "normal" reposts but not for example in video edits. so please do check their bio and/or any highlights titled "important!" or something similar.
next we have the way of crediting. please do tag the artist in the actual post. so many people tend to just mention them in the caption. some even do it with the @/username instead of directly tagging them. I know for a fact most people prefer to be tagged in the actual post so please do. it's literally not that hard I don't see the problem?????
now pls remember to credit people who make textposts or memes too. an artist might spend more time on an artwork then your average meme maker spends on a post, but it's still important to credit them. even if we don't spend AS much time on our posts, doesn't mean we don't spend time on them. we take time out of our personal life to make posts for your enjoyment and if you think my post is good enough to repost you should certainly have the decency to at least give me credit tyvm.
now if you found the post on tumblr, twitter, etc. and don't know who to credit??? don't post it. or at least search their @ on instagram to see if they have the same/similar instagram username. you can also dm them on tumblr/twt/whatever and ask them if it's ok that you repost their stuff on instagram and if they have an instagram @ they would want you to use. if you don't do any of these at least write their username from another platform in the caption and mention to those who see the post on which platforms they can find whoever made the posts. that was a little messy but i hope it made sense.
i also wanna point out that the tagging point stands for memes, textposts, etc. too. it's really annoying when people can't bother to tag someone in the actual post. it's literally easier than tagging them in the caption what's the fkn problem?????
kinda like the last point but please tag both artists and other credits. like I'll see people who tag the artist on the first slide and then only tag textpist credits in the caption or just not credit memes and stuff at all???? like why?? if you know how to give credit to artists why is it so hard to do the same for other content?
finally moving on to something else. let's address the opinion stuff. this one's gna be short because my brain is empty rn. just let people have their own opinions. there's no need for you to go and state yours under someone else's post. usually all it does is to stir up drama, and believe me, no one wants that. this is especially to the people who can't state their opinion respectfully. if your opinion involves dragging someone else down or making them feel bad for what they think?? don't say it. don't. it doesn't make anyone feel better about anything and it's just rude and disrespectful. stop. thank you.
to the hardcore, toxic percabeth shippers: no <3. it's not cool of you to be 🤪the most hardcore percabeth shipper ever™️🤪. it's not a competition. it's just annoying. someone makes a perachel post??? big deal, none of your business. why does it matter that they ship perachel and you don't?? it's literally not a big deal let them have their opinion pls. someone says they ship pipabeth???? "NO PERCABETH IS THE ELITE SHIP FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!" 🤌throw your device across the room to release your anger🤌
now I've had this in my drafts for a while and one time I accidentally posted it, someone saw it before I had time to delete it and dm'd me to ask if all of this also applies when you reblog/retweet. obviously if you screenshotted someone's post or art all of the points above still stand. but if you just reblog or retweet, the original posters username will automatically showed and accessible so it's totally fine!
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multiharlot · 4 years
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josslyn / tom holland x reader, harry holland x reader
summary: based off of josslyn by olivia o’brien. listen to it here :)
warnings: cursing, angst, implied smut, mentions of blood and having a breakdown (lmao been there done that) and a reader who’s definitely had enough of tom’s shit.
masterlist
I know we never said where we drew the line But I was in your bed almost every night I thought we made it clear how we felt, read the signs But now there's nothing left 'Cause you did nothing right
you never intended on falling in love with him. but he just made it so damn easy. and for a moment, you were sure that he loved you too. the way he’d gently cradle you as you sleepily lolled your head onto his shoulder during a netflix binge. or how he’d always make sure to hold you tight when walking through large crowds. of course, you two never disclosed what exactly you two were to each other. but that’s only because you thought the actions exchanged between you two spoke so much louder than any pile of substandard words either of you would be able to conjure anyways. you had let every i love you, and every sincere emotion pour out into the way you kissed him. the way you bit into his shoulder to contain the involuntary noises that spilled past your lips. the way he stared into your eyes, connecting your foreheads as you gave yourself to him entirely. he held you close, your tired body melting into his strong arms, and your heart collapsing as he pressed his lips gently to your forehead. he raked his fingers through your hair, humming softly. 
“i’m the luckiest man in the world.” he mumbled, causing a tired smile to grace your lips. 
“i mean...yeah.” you sighed happily, laughter erupting from his mouht cuasing his chest to vibrate against your cheek.
soon, the two of you were entangled in each other’s arms, reveling in the laughter echoing off the walls. your heart illuminated by the love you thought surrounded you two.
You had to go and ruin it So you could get a quick fuck I'm sure you had fun doing it And I won't make a big fuss
you first saw the photos of them two when you were seated on your best friends couch. the notifications on your phone were exploding, definitely more than normal. your screen lit up with twitter and instagram notifications and the texts began pouring through, following your social media mentions. your eyebrows furrowed as you reached over, grabbing the remote from your best friend’s lap and pausing the movie you two were previously engrossed in. 
“hey! it’s not time for our scheduled br- hey...what’s up?” they said, their tone softening as their sights fall onto you. 
your lip quivered as you scrolled through the paparazzi photos of tom and the beautiful tall blonde woman. your eyes skimming over the headlines and captions. scrolling past all of the comments and quickly typing her name into your instagram search bar. 
“ummm...hello? wanna tell me what’s happening?” your best friend asks, snapping their fingers in front of your face. 
“it’s uhh...it’s tom. he uhhhh...i think he’s seeing someone.”
“sorry...he’s what!?” they exclaim, squishing themselves next to you and peering onto your phone screen, gasping as they looked at the photos. 
“is that her?”
“yeah...yeah paps spotted them out together. holding hands and kissing and whatnot.” you mumble, a numb feeling spreading through your chest. 
you two continued to investigate her further. what you knew so far was that she was an instagram model of sorts. your best friend grabs your hand tightly, leaning their head on your shoulder.
“i’m so sorry...” they sigh.
“don’t. ummm...it’s fine. well it’s not but...it’s whatever.” you shrug, standing up off the couch. 
“y/n...” they sigh, and you just chuckle sadly. 
“no really it’s cool. it’s fine.”
But know we're off and we'll never be on again I hope that it was worth it, fucking Josslyn Don't wanna fight, I just never wanna talk again I hope that it was worth it, fucking Josslyn I know we weren't together but we're more than friends Said you couldn't see me while she gave you head So please, don't ever call again I hope that it was worth it, fucking Josslyn
“y/n love i-”
you stick your hand up, closing his flat door behind you. 
“i just came here to get my stuff. don’t worry.” you mumble, harrison and the twins stood behind you two, staring awkwardly. 
tom pauses, his lips pursed slightly. 
“wh- what? y/n no.” he says, shaking his head and grabbing your arm as you attempted to walk past him.
you shrug, adjusting the empty bag on your shoulder. 
“i didn’t come here to talk.” you sigh, taking your arm from his hold and waving at the boys in the living room.
“hey boys, i’ll be quick. promise.” you say, a tight smile on your lips and you start throwing the random items you’d left in his flat into your bag. 
“no it’s...we’re gonna go. it was good to see you.” harrison says, smiling sympathetically at you. 
you nod, all of the boys giving you tight hugs and light head kisses as they walked past you. harry, however, clung tightly onto you. you two were always close. 
“i’m sorry.” he mumbles into your hair. 
“your not your brother, harry. don’t worry. i’m fine.” you say, nodding your head up at the tall curly haired boy. 
he just sighs, shaking his head at his brother as he walks out of the flat. 
“y/n can i please just explain-”
“no.” you say, walking past him and into the bedroom.
you pulled open the drawer he had designated for you, packing the clothes into the bag. 
“y/n please. i just...i was drunk and honestly once it started happening i just couldn’t think of anything else and i-”
“you’re really good at making things worse for yourself.” you say sarcastically, slamming the now empty drawer shut. 
“you deserve the truth and- can you look at me please!? can we talk about this like adults!?” he shouts, making you flinch. 
you sigh, flipping the last item, your hairbrush, in your hands. you tuck it into the bag, zipping it shut and throwing it back over your shoulder. 
“i didn’t come here to fight with you, tom.”
“don’t...don’t do that y/n. don’t shut your emotions off from me. yell at me. be angry, baby. hit me. scream at me. throw things. just please...talk to me.”
just for a second, you wanted to. you did. you wanted to scream and yell and throw his things out his own window. but you couldn’t. tom had taken enough from you, and you weren’t about to let him take your integrity too.
“no. what do i have to be angry about? sure we may have been more than friends, but like you said, it’s not like we were together anyways. here’s your key. i hope she was worth it.”
You didn't wanna be like the boys from before Well, look at what you did, 'cause you hurt me more You didn't have to lie like the truth is a chore I guess I can't be mad 'Cause I was never yours
the lack of emotion you were displaying was concerning to those around you. you continued on with your life. you posted things you would’ve normally posted. you went out with your friends, partied, drank, had a good time. it was almost as though tom had never existed. your best friend came by almost everyday just to check on you. as did harrison and the twins. and of course, you had convinced them you were fine. you were still eating and you were just fine. nothing like the way you used to be the many other times you’d had your heart broken by the men tom promised he’d never become. but you’d convinced yourself that you weren’t allowed to be angry at anyone but yourself. you let yourself believe that there was love blossoming in infertile soil. you were never his to begin with, so who were you to be angry when he denied being yours? this went on for a few weeks. you continued living your life as though these events had no effect on you. but everyone knew better. you knew better. you were in pain, even if you didn’t want to admit it. 
You had to go and ruin it So you could get a quick fuck I'm sure you had fun doing it And I won't make a big fuss But know we're off and we'll never be on again I hope that it was worth it, fucking Josslyn
tom being who he was, and your affiliation with him, meant you were bombarded with press and tweets and messages from gossip outlets trying to get the scoop on the situation. so tom’s publicist had reached out to you, a non-disclosure agreement in hand. this, this was your breaking point. you were on your couch watching the great british baking show on netflix and judging the chefs as though either of you could do any better. then the knock came to your door. you sighed, pausing your show and walking over to your door expecting to see harrison and the twins or your best friend stopping by to come and check on you as they did, but instead, you were met face to face with tom’s publicist megan. 
“ummm...hi?” you say, your eyebrows furrowing as you clutched the sleeves of your sweatshirt. 
“hi. can i come in?” she asks, smiling sickeningly. 
“uhhh...sure.” you mumble, holding open the door for her and allowing her to step inside. 
she walks straight past you and into your kitchen, seating herself at your dining room table. 
“no. just make yourself right at home.” you grumble underneath your breath, locking the door behind you.
“so i’m just going to get straight to the point. i know you’re aware of all of this drama happening with you and tom and josslyn. so i thought i’d pop by and bring this over. just so we can assure that tom’s career isn’t-”
“hold on...i- i know you didn’t come by just to bring me a non disclosure agreement?” you scoffed, leaning forward on the table. 
“with tom’s new films premiering, it’s imperative that he’s not derailed by any scandals.” she explains, pulling the contract out of the manilla envelope, and sliding it across the table.
you wanted to keep your cool, because you understood. you really did. but for some reason, out of everything that’d happened. this was your breaking point. 
“are you fucking kidding me right now? you seriously think i’m a fucking liability? after how long since shit hit the fan for him, i still haven’t said a single fucking word. but at this point, i think i should! you’re not going to come into my house and speak to me as if i’m some fucking risk to tom’s career like he didn’t just fucking rip my heart out of my chest and throw it into the fucking garbage disposal. so you and this dumb ass contract, can get the hell out of my flat. and i swear to you, if you come back here with that shit, not only will i not sign it, but i’ll contact every fucking media outlet i could possibly think of and release an official statement on just how much of a piece of shit tom actually is. get the hell out.” you growl, and his publicist scoffs. 
“i’m afraid i can’t-”
“oh you can’t? cool. then you stay right there, and i’ll call the police to have you removed from my property. how’s that for bad publicity?”
Don't wanna fight, I just never wanna talk again I hope that it was worth it, fucking Josslyn I know we weren't together but we're more than friends Said you couldn't see me while she gave you head So please, don't ever call again I hope that it was worth it, fucking Josslyn
you sat on the floor of your kitchen, drained of energy and feeling completely empty. you weren’t sure what had come over you, but you didn’t regret it. you weren’t sure how long you were sitting there, but a soft knock flooded your ears. you sighed, pushing yourself up off the ground and pulling the door open, coming face to face with tom. your breath hitched in your throat and he fidgeted awkwardly. 
“i didn’t want this.” he says, and you look down at his hands, where the manilla folder was placed. 
you scoffed, snatching the envelope from his hands and pulling the contract out. 
“can i come in-”
“no.” you bluntly say as your eyes skimmed over the contents of the contract. 
you nodded you head, pretending to skim over the fine print. you grabbed a pen from your hallway table, and you could hear him let out a sigh of relief. 
“thank you y/n. i know i don’t deserve this but i-” his speech immediately stopped as he saw you scribble over the contract. 
‘NO’
you smiled, handing the contract back to tom. 
“i already told you. i don’t want to fight. and i don’t want to see you again. you made your bed, lie in it. i’m not signing shit. if you or your publicist show up again, i will be pressing charges, this is borderline harassment.” you deadpan, slamming the door in his face. 
you bit your lower lip, looking up at your ceiling, listening to tom pleading outside your door. shouting his apologies and attempting to get you to respond. 
“i don’t even care about this stupid contract y/n! i just want you! so go ahead, go to the media. tell everyone how shitty i am. i’m an idiot! is that what you want to hear!?” he shouts. 
“go home, tom!” you shout, your voice cracking slightly as the tears began spilling down your cheeks. 
“baby please...just open the door.” he says, leaning towards the door. 
you cup your hand over you mouth in attempt to silence your cries, and he sighs. you hear him walking off and when you hear the car start, you let the sobs escape. 
Can't believe I was so stupid Just another girl you ruined My friends said I shouldn't do it Should've listened, guess I blew it
shattered glass littered the floor as you continued to cry out. the months of emotions finally spilling out, and you couldn’t breathe. you tried, gasping for breath as you tugged at the roots of your hair, your cries becoming more and more panicked. you remembered your friends telling you that relationships like that never ended well. and at first, you thought they meant friends with benefits. because to the outside eye, that’s what you two seemed like. friends who sometimes liked to sleep with each other. but you could’ve sworn there was more there. you let yourself fall after having your heart broken so many times before. you so stupidly allowed yourself to hurt like this again. you let him break you. and now here you were. throwing picture frames and having a break down on your living room floor, praying that someone, anyone, could come and save you from yourself. you crawled across the ground, sobbing over the mess you’d made and attempting to pick up the pieces, shouting out when you sliced open the corner of your palm. 
“y/n!?” 
you didn’t bother looking up, you just continued trying to clean up the broken glass. a pair of hands grab yours and you look up, meeting harry’s soft eyes. 
“i- i can’t. it’s so messy and i need it clean. i need to clean it i-”
“love, come here. it’s okay. it’s okay.” he coos, taking you into his arms. 
your knees buckle underneath you and your butt hits the floor and harry pulls you onto his lap, cradling you in his arms as you sobbed. 
“it hurts. i can’t do it. it hurts.” you sob, the images of you and tom flooding your head, finally coming to terms that it was over. 
that he didn’t love you the way you wished he had. he didn’t love you the way you loved him. 
“i know, darling. come here, let me see.” sam whispers, crouching down next to you and pulling your hand up from your lap and examining the bloody palm, harrison crouching down next to him. 
harry continued running his fingers through your hair, placing gentle kisses to your hairline. 
“you don’t need stitches, so let’s get this cleaned up and get you into bed, huh?” harrison smiles softly, pushing your hair off of your wet cheeks. 
you hiccuped, nodding tiredly and the boys help you stand up, and harrison takes you in his arms, carrying you over the messy floor, the glass crunching underneath his shoes.
“i’m sorry.” you whimpered, and he sighs, placing you on the counter. 
“you have no reason to apologize, dear. you’re going to be alright, yeah?”
you nod, but you knew, you wouldn’t be alright. not for a while.
But know we're off and we'll never be on again I hope that it was worth it, fucking Josslyn Don't wanna fight, I just never wanna talk again I hope that it was worth it, fucking Josslyn I know we weren't together but we're more than friends Said you couldn't see me while she gave you head So please, don't ever call again I hope that it was worth it, fucking Josslyn
your head was perched gently on top of harry’s shoulder. his fingers combing softly through your messy hair as the two of you stared blankly at the movie playing on your tv screen. neither of you truly paying attention to it. your head was too polluted with toxic thoughts and concerns over tom, and harry was preoccupied looking at you. his heart aching for the girl he’d let fall into the hands of the wrong man. the girl he’d loved. harrison had gone out to buy you more first aid supplies for your hands and sam was downstairs, cleaning up your living room. 
“he came by today. he wanted me to sign an NDA.” you mumble, feeling harry tense beside you. 
“he may be my brother, but he’s an absolute div.” he scoffs. 
you shrug. 
“i get it. it’s his career. but i wasn’t gonna say anything.” you sigh, and harry leans his head on top of yours. 
“i know, love. i know. but don’t think about tom. he’s dumb and he doesn’t know what he’s lost. how about you get some sleep, huh?” he smiles softly, massaging your scalp in attempt to get you to fall asleep. 
your eyes shut softly, as you hummed softly, allowing the relaxation to take over your body. and harry watched you fall asleep, the peaceful look replacing the melancholic one that coated your face only moments before. he thought this might’ve been his own sick and twisted version of if you love her, let her go, and if she comes back then it was meant to be. he saw how much you loved tom, and despite it killing him inside, he let you go. and he couldn’t help but think back to the conversation when you asked him if it was alright if you’d gone after tom. he can’t help but think that if he’d said what he wanted to in that moment, you wouldn’t be here, hurting. he sighed, placing his hand on your jaw and running his thumb over your tear stained cheek. 
“i hope that it was worth it, tom.”
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lilacmiracle · 4 years
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The Mysterious Wharfstache Disappearances
Fandoms: Markiplier, Buzzfeed Unsolved
Note: Quotation marks are Ryan narrating, bold is Shane speaking, italics are Ryan speaking
(AO3) Words: 2066
The video opens on the visual of a lone light bulb swinging into frame, illuminating the word “UNSOLVED,” which is stylized in a way that makes it appear to be stamped on. Almost immediately after the light bulb becomes still, the word “BuzzFeed” appears over the “UNSOLVED,” and beneath both of these is the caption “True Crime,” and neither of these new additions are written in any kind of stylized font. An animated piece of tape appears in the corner of the screen, with the words “WHARFSTACHE DISAPPEARANCES” written on it in the same sort of aesthetic as the “UNSOLVED.”
“This week on BuzzFeed Unsolved we are investigating the now-infamous mystery of the Wharfstache Disappearances.”
The screen had shifted from the title card to show the co-hosts at their desk, with Ryan on the right of the screen and Shane on the left. 
“Named after the sole survivor of the events that led up to these disappearances, this enigmatic case has puzzled investigators for nearly a century.”
Quite the doozy, this one is. An enigma, you say?
There are so many weird things in this case that I nearly put it in “Supernatural.”
Wow. Really?
Really.
“On the evening of October 10, 1920, four guests were invited to the Iplier Manor for an informal poker night. Those present at the party at the time included the Colonel, William Barnum, and the host, Mark Iplier. The enigmatic identities of the second, third and fourth guests is only the first of many bizarre mysteries surrounding this case.”
We are wasting no time. Getting right into the weird.
“We know that the second guest at this ‘poker night’ was, in fact, the District Attorney. However, all official records that mentioned the DA had their name completely redacted, as well as any photographs containing their face had that part destroyed. All information that could lead to their identity has been obliterated.”
Just...gone?
Gone.
Poof.
(laughter)
“Something similar affected the identities of the third and fourth guests, though not nearly as severely. The third guest, a Detective, had his last name redacted, though we know that he went by 'Abe.' The fourth guest, the Mayor, also had his last name completely redacted. We know his first name, Damien, and that he had a twin sister, Celine.”
All of these names will become important later.
“On October 11, witness testimonies state that Celine, Damien’s sister, entered the Manor."
Why?
We’ll come back to that in theories.
“On October 13, the Colonel, now calling himself Wilford Wharfstache, reported to a local police station to 'find where Damien was hiding.' He led police back to the Manor, where they found no evidence of anyone living there, instead finding what appeared to be a crime scene, along with suspicious blood-like stains in some areas of the house.”
Crime scene? Caution tape, everything?
Yes. There was an outline of a body on the floor, and the area was surrounded by caution tape.
What????
“After the police had searched the house, finding no one, they further questioned the Colonel. They arrested him after he had stated, ‘I thought I killed Mark, but it was all a joke! Did you find Damien yet? He must have been behind this...’ along with other ‘suspicious comments.’“
Just a prank, bro.
(wheeze)
“Now let’s get into the theories.”
“The first and most widely accepted theory, put up by police, is that the Colonel killed the other four members of the party, and Celine.”
I feel like we’re gonna get some stuff saying “Oh yeah, here’s ten reasons why it was definitely him.”
He makes a compelling case.
“When he was interviewed prior to his arrest, he told police that he shot and mortally wounded Iplier, the Detective, and the DA. Allegedly, Damien and Celine ‘disappeared,’ into a room that was described as ‘dressed up for a  séance.’ No such room was found.”
He admits to killing three people, but not these other two people that he definitely murdered? Like, “I killed all these people, but I don’t want these guys’ blood on my hands.”
“I know! I’ll say they disappeared into a spooky room.”
“The police’ll never see it coming!”
(both laughing)
“However, the Colonel was not charged with the quintuple murder. Instead, he was placed in an asylum, due to many police officers and psychologists stating that he was insane.”
He killed five people! Of course he’s crazy!
Yeah, but...
“When asked why he believed that the events had been a joke, he stated that he had shot the DA, but they came back to life and walked away.”
Yeah, that’s insanity. I can see that. Why was he even there hours later?
The police asked him that too. He actually said, and I quote, “to make sure they didn’t disappear.”
That’s definitely crazy right there.
“He also had motive for the murders. Iplier, his first victim, had long been one of his best friends, but they didn’t speak for years after Iplier had caught his wife, Celine, cheating with the Colonel.”
A murderer and a homewrecker.
Not good. 
Not good.
“They hadn’t even been civil to each other at the party, according to reports from the butler, Benjamin.”
Wait, wait, wait. Now there’s a butler?
He wasn’t really important, all he did was watch the events. He refused to talk about it.
But he was a witness!
He refused to give any reports on what happened, only a few details.
Unbelievable.
“All of this culminated in a game of Russian Roulette. The gun reportedly used was the Colonel’s own revolver, which, when investigated, showed signs of tampering.”
So it wasn’t an accident.
Nope.
Definitely murder.
“He also had a motive for killing the Detective and the DA. A room was found in the house that was likely used by the Detective to investigate who had committed the murder, with a piece of paper found within the typewriter, with the words 'The Colonel did it' typed repeatedly over the entire sheet.”
Sounds like this Detective had a few screws loose himself.
He was known for being a bit...eccentric, but he was one of the best detectives of the time.
“Additionally, the DA was the Detective’s partner in the investigation, as told by the butler and the chef -”
Are there any more people you haven’t told me about?
Just the gardener, and he doesn’t do anything.
“And a photograph of the Detective and who can be assumed to be the DA was found in the Detective’s wallet, along with other photos of himself with known partners of his.”
I’m guessing the DA’s face was gone?
Yup.
Also -- just wondering -- is “Damien’s sister” Celine the same as “Mark’s wife” Celine?
Yes.
So he killed her out of jealousy.
Let me read the theory before you spoil it, jerk!
“His motive for killing Celine was that she had married Mark, knowing full well that he loved her.”
She’s allowed to love other people! Not everything’s about you, Mr. Wharfstache.
I mean...this motive is the one that grasps at the most straws. He never acted this sexist previously, and it has been said that he had more respect for women than most other men of the time.
“There has not been any proposed motive for killing Damien, however, many proponents of this theory state that by this point he was too far gone to need a motive.”
That’s fair. 
That’s fair.
“The issue with this theory is that no bodies have been found on or near the property. The most evidence of there being any bodies was the makeshift crime scene, which was claimed to be that of Iplier’s.”
No bodies.
Nope.
Nowhere that he could have hid the bodies.
Nope.
They just went “poof.”
Yep.
Everything’s going “poof” in this case...
(wheeze)
“It also doesn’t cover why, exactly, Celine went to the Manor. She was a self-proclaimed psychic, so some speculate that she sensed a disturbance at the death of her ex-husband.”
There’s a lot to unpack there. First of all -- ex-husband?
She did cheat. 
Yeah, but why would she be keeping psychic tabs on him?
Beats me.
And second of all -- she died, right?
Yes. Don’t you dare -
Guess she didn’t see that coming.
God damn it, Shane.
“The second theory is that the Colonel, with the aid of Celine, murdered four people at the party.”
No.
Wow. Just -- no?
No. She’d kill her twin brother? I’ve met twins, man. No way.
“This theory states that when the Colonel received the invitation to the party, he and Celine planned out how to kill Mark and cover it up - her arrival would keep focus off of the Colonel long enough to cover his tracks, and if people got too suspicious, then she or the Colonel killed them. This theory also explains her disappearance -- she managed to evade police custody and the now-insane Wharfstache.”
Didn’t her brother disappear with her?
Yeah, but he and the Colonel didn’t get along.
Still no reason to kill your brother.
“This theory still doesn’t address where the bodies of Iplier, the Detective, the DA, and the Mayor are.”
This is...a theory. Not a great theory, and not one I agree with, but...
It’s a theory.
It’s a theory.
“The third theory is that it was, in fact, a joke on the Colonel. Damien was known for his practical jokes, especially the kind that required a lot of planning.”
They let this guy rot in an asylum?
We’ll get to that.
“This theory explains the lack of bodies, due to the fact that nobody died, but it opens up a new question: why would everyone disappear?”
I can see why the Mayor would. He was probably tired of his job -
He had actually just been elected, along with the DA. They had both recently gotten their jobs.
Then it doesn’t make sense?
“Some speculate that Mark and Celine both wanted to start their lives over, as both of them had been described as ‘reclusive’ and ‘lonely.’“
Still doesn’t explain the Mayor and the DA.
I know.
“It also explains why the Colonel saw the DA get up after being shot.”
Not just the ramblings of a crazy murderer?
Actually, there was evidence to suggest that he was telling the truth.
You’re kidding.
Nope.
“This is supported by footprints that match the DA’s shoes that led from the spot that Wharfstache claims to have placed the body, all the way out to the grounds, stopping just before the end of the property.”
That’s weird. Something isn’t right.
There’s a reason that this might belong in “Supernatural.”
Zombies?
(wheeze)
“This also explains the subsequent escape of Wharfstache from the asylum.”
He escaped?
Yeah, a few days after he was committed. He’s like a ghost story now, with sightings all over the world, spanning even into the modern day. According to a bunch of these, he hasn’t aged a day and is now even crazier than ever.
I don’t think most of those are him. I think he’s either an old man in a nursing home, or dead.
That’s very morbid of you.
It was a hundred years ago!
“The fourth and final theory is that there was a demon in the house, killing all of the inhabitants and driving Wharfstache to insanity. Some say that it possessed the body of the DA, which is why they walked off. Some also say that its activity alerted Celine, who went to investigate and was killed along with everyone else. It also explains why Iplier was described as reclusive, even though he was very much a people person before purchasing the Manor; he had been greatly influenced by the demon, who preyed on his young and vulnerable mind. It also explains how and why those names were erased.”
You seem quiet.
This feels like a cop-out. It feels like aliens.
Can you definitively say that a demon was not involved?
No. And I hate that.
“Whatever events transpired in that Manor, wherever these people disappeared to, is a mystery that will remain...Unsolved.”
The screen shifts to an image of the UNSOLVED logo over a black background. A few moments later, it shifts back to Shane and Ryan.
The Manor’s a tourist attraction now. The guy who got it in the Iplier’s will, he didn’t want it.
If that’s gonna be your demonic sacrifice for the season, I’ll go.
...okay.
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miraculous-rewrite · 5 years
Text
Miraculous Rewrite- Amun (a Pharaoh rewrite)
Now, UNLIKE Reflecktica this episode is a bit of a hot mess. we need to alter some stuff to not only to make things make more sense, but also to fit the narritive we’re constructing. 
My main beef with this whole thing is the blatant disregard for actual egyptian history and mythology, but in fixing that, we had to in fact change most of the rest of the story to go along with it, so here we are.
So, as Alya is not as focused on discovering who Ladybug is for obvious reasons, the cold open we have is instead of Marinette and Alya laying down on the floor of Mari’s room, looking at their history textbooks and studying Egyptian history. Tikki hovers behind their heads, commenting on how interesting it is that the two are studying that country’s history. 
The girls turn to look at the Kwami, asking why, and she does her computer thing in canon and brings up the exhibit at the museum, telling them to see for themselves. They share a glance between the two, before shrugging. Alya claims it could end up being fun, and Mari even remarks that Alix’s father is heading the exhibit, so they could get a private look. 
Marinette wonders out loud what Tikki was doing back in Ancient Egypt, asking if she has any fancy stories she’s been keeping from the two of them. Tikki giggles and tells them that they should just wait and see. 
Of course when the two of them are at the exhibit, it’s specifically shown that Alix had gotten them a private look see just before the museum would otherwise be open. Her father is showing the girls around, excited at seeing two girls interested in history without being forced to learn for a class, and chatters on about some of the artefacts in the exhibit hall. Alix makes small mocking gestures behind her father’s back, but shows interest like the others, fiddling with the pocket watch hanging off her shorts. 
While Marinette has been dutifully following behind M. Kubdel as he spoke, Alya’s a more… let’s say.. Active listener. Darting here and there around every newly introduced artifact, taking pictures with her phone, searching for something. Eventually Alix rolls her eyes and asks her what she’s doing.
“Someone on the Ladyblog tipped me off about there being some kind of hieroglyph in here that looks an awful lot like Ladybug and I wanna find it.” M. Kubdel laughs gently and asks her that if there was a reference to Ladybug, if that means the heroine’s been around for thousands of years.
“Probably! Maybe she’s some kind of immortal demigod or something!” Alya trades a knowing glance with Marinette, who takes then to chime in.
“Maybe the Ladybug Title has been passed down through generations? If she is there that might be the First Ladybug herself!”
M. Kubdel considers what the two girls said, a hand on his chin, and though he doesn’t say whether he thinks the two are right or not, he escorts the trio over to the papyrus sheet, telling them this is one of the newest pieces, and therefore likely to be what this “tip” might refer to. 
Before either girl can get a look at it, the two are nudged not-too-gracefully out of the way by an older man, who Alix and M. Kubdel recognize. 
“Ah! It’s been put up for display!” He exclaims, otherwise not caring about the two girls he’d shoved out of his way. 
“We’re fine, thanks for asking.” Alya testily retorts. 
“Jalil!” M. Kubdel finally shouts, Jalil coming back to earth and pulling his shoulders up embarrassedly. “Those are your sister’s friends.” He finally straightens up, expression pained for a moment before turning to the two and offering them both hands up. 
“Very sorry. It’s just, father hasn’t allowed me to examine this papyrus until it was put up and I suppose my overeagerness got the better of me.”
On the other side of town, we see Adrien checking the Ladyblog and seeing the pictures Alya’s been posting here and there with captions about seeking information on Ladybug, and he grabs Plagg, running off to ask the Gorilla to take him to the museum. 
Though that scene doesn’t last long before we cut back to The main group, Jalil scanning over the papyrus and scratching ideas into his notebook. Alya still taking picture after picture looking for the Treasure hunt Tikki put them on. Marinette, polite as ever, asks Jalil what he’s working on.
He explains that Akhenaten, the Pharaoh that tried to turn Egypt monotheistic had a wife, the beautiful Nephrititi. Ahkenaten’s son, Tutenkaten, was made pharaoh at a young age after Akhenaten was more or less forced to retire and after he did, Tutenkaten changed his name to Tutankhamun to show that he was endorsing the numerous gods of Egypt again, including the very popular Amun. But Nephretiti died very quickly after her husband and Tut was forced to be raised by aunts and siblings before dying young. 
M. Kubdel tries to insist gently that Marinette and Alya were well aware of the story, but before he could finish his sentence Jalil continued.
“But! Tutankhamun wasn’t content with that, and had all of his priests and devout practitioners, mostly those that worshipped Osiris, Anubis, Medjed and all other underworld gods to gather and create an audience with the underworld to barter for his mother’s life.”
As he continues on, talking about the forty devout followers that were to be sacrificed in Nephretiti’s place and how, with magic being reintroduced in  the world, one could possibly attempt it again, Alix and M. Kubdel stiffen. Alix’s gaze darting to the ground, and M. Kubdel’s grip on his own books and papers tightening. 
“Tutankhamun wanted to revive his mother, do you think that maybe-”
“Enough of this Jalil!” M. Kubdel finally snaps. “You’ve had your head in the clouds for the past two years and it’s starting to take its toll. Your sister is doing her best to keep going and not vanish into fantasies, you’d do well to follow her example! Learn the difference between myth and history before you come in expecting anyone to listen to you!” 
Alix, moodily comes forward and grabs Alya and Marinette’s arms “Let’s just go.” said quietly, before Jalil ended up heading the three off and running off in a fit.
We follow Jalil now, standing outside the Louvre, pacing back and forth and muttering angrily. He knows it’s real, with actual superheroes wandering around was magic really SO out of plausibility? What’s wrong with wanting to try it out? Sure he didn’t have anyone who was devout to the old gods but he could at least try! Don’t they owe it to Mom to at least try?
The Akuma lands on his amulet then, the voice that Hawkmoth speaks to him in isn’t his own, but a gentle, soft voice. A maternal voice. Hawkmoth speaks to him as the voice of Nephrititi, saying that while her own son was stopped by the spotted hero, Jalil, you can defeat Ladybug. You can be given the power of Amun, You can bring your mother back. 
When Jalil straightens, he raises his head up and says that he will right the wrongs of others. He will become Amun. and he will petition Osiris himself to return her.
Look, I really didn’t like the Pharaoh’s design, I thought it was dumb, so let’s get something more regal up in here. Since he’s embodying Amun, that’s what he’ll take after design wise. A colorful shawl wrapped around his shoulders, a collar of lapis lazuli and gold with a now golden scarab amulet in the center, and a two peaked headdress.
In his hand is an Ankh, and from the tip of said Ankh shoots a golden light. After shooting a few civilians it's revealed that the light turns those who are hit by it into ancient egyptian reflections of themselves. Dressed in robes and running over to Amun to bow at his feet. Amun takes the looped head of the Ankh and taps them on the head as they approach. Telling them what god they now worship, and the civilians then begin to call out praises to the god they were assigned. 
Adrien gets on the scene just in time to narrowly avoid worshipping Osiris himself. Ducking behind a bicycle rack and transforming. Marinette and Alya haven't quite heard the commotion just yet, The two of them instead focusing on cheering the now dour Alix up a little. Their attempts are eventually busted up by Amun reaching the three of them. Since his Akuma form is less ridiculous this time, he’s easy to identify and thus his plan was easy to guess. Alix puts her hand between Marinette and Alya and Amun and tells the two of them to leave. She’s his sister maybe she’ll have a bit of sway. 
And man is Alix Luuuuckkyyy that Jalil doesn’t ACTUALLY think he’s Egyptian royalty right now. The last thing this girl’s blood pressure would need is her brother trying to claim her as his wife. It also helps that M. Kubdel shows up to ask what the heck is going on as the museum staff is freaking out, and spots Alix trying to talk down the Akuma that was once her brother.  To be fair Alix wasn’t overly TRYING to get Jalil to give up, just to buy others enough time. But thankfully for her, Amun is doing this for her too. So instead of turning her he lifts her over his shoulder and insists that they’d get their mom back together. 
M. Kubdel, also hearing this, tries to approach Jalil himself to try and rescue Alix, but Amun doesn’t even give him a second glance before aiming his Ankh at him. M. Kubdel is assigned Medjed and is even upgraded to a ‘priest’ instead of just a devout. He’s sent up to lead the devout followers in the ritual, but Amun doesn’t have the complete set yet.
So he says out loud they need the rest of that papyrus, but before they can make it back into the area, Ladybug is on the scene. 
Alix of course is cheering for her, even calling out ideas on where the Akuma may be hidden, but Amun isn’t letting her get near enough to test any theories herself. Laying cover fire from his Ankh one beam of light after another. 
Alix takes then to help out a little more directly, kicking Jalil and nailing him in the solar plexus before getting back on her feet and making a run for it. Amun is about to blast her, when Chat Noir shows up and knocks the Ankh from his hands. He plucks a few strands of grain from his hair and comments idly about how a bunch of priests can really throw a good punch. 
Amun growls at him and throws a proper punch at Chat, which is easily blocked. But when Ladybug tries to rejoin the fight now that she was no longer at a distance, Amun was able to grab hold of his Ankh and takes a shot at Alix’s retreating form. Alix avoids it, barely, but the beam begins to ricochet around the room. Putting both Ladybug and Chat Noir on the defensive as they have to avoid getting hit. To cover his escape further Amun fires two more shots that begin to bounce. Ladybug and Chat Noir are forced to go back to back to cover each other and Amun is able to escape.
Back with Alix, she’s made her way back to the Egypt exhibit, and is in the middle of engaging the security cages when finally, no matter how unfortunately, a beam of light hits her. Amun approaches and deems her the priestess of Anubis. And as she recites prayers she lets him in to grab the papyrus and study it more. 
When we next clip back to Ladybug and Chat Noir they’re still on guard against the ricocheting light beams and Ladybug ends up coming up with the solution of slowly, if in perfect rhythm, they could make their way out at the same time to avoid either of them getting hit. So, after a moment of arguing about rhythm, they end up harmonizing in a Jagged Stone song together as they make their way out (Think that one scene in kim possible) And they begin to make their way outside.
Once outside it’s realized that Amun has almost completed his ritual. The forty devout are there, he just needs a third priest, the priest of Osiris. And as the last person in the area whose not actively a superhero, he’s currently chasing down Alya to fill that position.
Alya is recording the whole thing of course, and keeps making snarky comments about what other gods from other extensive pantheons she’d rather worship. 
“I’m more Hermes girl myself! Maybe I could become a handmaiden for Freya!”and things like that to get Amun more and more flustered. 
Ladybug takes then to use lucky Charm, and like before, she comes up with a false Ladybug costume. The camera highlighting the costume, a nearby firehose, the papyrus, the Ankh, and a streetlamp.
While the plan is, obviously a little different, it’s got the same bones as it was in canon. Ladybug ducking away and changing into the outfit away from inquisitive eyes, and offering herself up as the Preist of Osiris as it would be the ultimate revenge on Tutenkhamun’s behalf. Amun agrees and sets Marinette in front of the crowd, before reaching to remove her Miraculous’. She holds her head out to let him take them off himself, only to discover only when they’re in his hands that they’re fake. She puts the real earrings back on and re-transforms. Her normal uniform appearing in place of the fake one. But now that she’s close enough to him she grabs hold of the Papyrus, and with it his chant, as well as his Ankh. Tossing the papyrus to Alya and the Ankh to Chat. Amun reels, looking between either one unsure of which to go after first, and when he makes a break for Alya the rest of the trap is sprung. 
Chat takes the firehose and wraps it around the Ankh and uses it as a counterbalance to wrap around and secure itself onto the streetlamp. Which Alya runs directly in the path of. She’s able to hop over it without being too obvious, but when Amun runs after her Chat pulls the hose to become a tripwire and Amun falls flat, his own body weight crushing the Akuma. 
After purifying the Akuma Alix approaches her brother, and, in a rare display of tenderness, asks him to explain the embalming process to her again.
The timeskip after the end of the fight still leads to late evening at the Dupain-Cheng household, only this time with Mari and Alya in pjs by her computer, looking at the pictures they’d taken of the papyrus, taking notice of the Tikki glyph as well as the Ladybug one. Alya exclaims, wondering how they’d missed it before. And Marinette wonders out loud how many Ladybugs there have been in the past.
Tikki explains that Ladybugs show up when there need to be Ladybugs. And many men and women have worn the mask before her. Alya recants that it might be a good cover story though, if that particular matter was kept a secret. After all, Ladybug being an immortal deity makes for better news anyway. 
Gilligan cut to Adrien, face pressed against his desk, a new Ladyblog article in front of him, Plagg dispassionately patting his head. 
“I’m way too young for her! She’s been out of my league this whole time!”
“It’s okay kid, Camembert gets better with age and so will you.”
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hsmakingmeblush · 5 years
Text
I’m Lost In Your Fire
A Vampire Journalist Harry Fic
*Read Chapter One 
Chapter Two
Harry can’t help but let out a groan as he lets his body sink deep into the warm water filling his pearly white porcelain bathtub. It feels like a relief as the water sinks into his skin and envelops his sore muscles in warmth. He lets the soothing scent of lavender fill his nose and allows calm to overtake him as his bath bomb continues to fizz in the quiet of his bathroom.
Today hasn’t been the worst day he’s ever had, not by a longshot, but it’s been long and stressful. Putting up with pricks like Jimmy at the office all day and not being able to say anything can make the tension in his body skyrocket with holding back any reaction. And believe it or not, working on fluff pieces he could writing his sleep can actually be more draining than the hardest hitting journalism beats. There’s only so many times he can type out the words London Poodle Parade before wanting to break his computer himself.
But now that that piece is over, finally, he’s got to get down to the real business. Mr. Turner’s finally given him a story he can actually sink his teeth into… so to speak. It may not be the hard hitting stuff they write down in the political new section, but a profile feature actually gives him something to work with, real substance that’ll occupy his mind and give him something to research. Which is why he’s decided to take a nice long soothing bath to help ease him into the research process. Admittedly, it’s been awhile since he’s had to do anything this extensive.
So, Zoe Price, who are you?
He clicks his laptop on from where it was sitting asleep on his wooden bathtub tray along with his wine glass that was decidedly not red with wine.
He decides to start his search by typing her name into Google- the best way is oftentimes the simplest. He’s almost surprised when he sees the rest of her name pop up in his suggestions when he’s only typed “Zoe P” so far, but then he remembers that if this woman was truly a nobody he probably wouldn’t be writing a profile on her. He clicks down to her name and hits enter and the first thing his eyes are drawn to on the screen is the photo in the corner of a woman with warm eyes and dark hair. She’s not bad to look at, but he doesn’t let himself linger before he moves on to the rest of the webpage.
The first link up is for something called London Bites. Was she some kind of food blogger or something? Sharing recommendations for London’s hidden dining hotspots for tourists and residents alike can all enjoy the best of what the city had to offer? Hm, didn’t seem likely that he’d be assigned a profile on someone that… mundane.
He clicks the link, mentally reminding himself to go back and look through the twitter that had been listed just below on the search page.
At the top of the page is a a black and white photo of London with London Bites across the top in red cursive. Not exactly the vibe he would expect from a food blogger.
As he scrolls down, he sees yet another photo of who he presumes to be Zoe herself if the caption is to be believed.
Zoe Price.
24.
London, UK.
Political Science, B.A.
But in this one her hair is shorter, lighter, and any warmth Harry fleetingly thought she’d had minutes ago is nowhere to be found. She looks more severe in this photo, it’s to be expected when it’s clearly been professionally posed and shot for business purposes, but Harry can’t say he likes the way she looks in it all the same. Not that it matters what he thinks. He’s writing a piece on her and her work, not on… her looks or how friendly she may or may not be.
To the right of her photo is a little blurb that reads:
It can be hard keeping up with all the goings-on in London politics and current events. There’s politicians galore, people with opinions everywhere you turn, and vampires just around the corner. Join Zoe Price every Monday as she interviews guests, debates hot button issues, and provides you with your weekly dose of social and political insight. Whether you want to be a more educated citizen, you want to impress your friends with being up-to-date in all things politically relevant today, or you just like the sound of Zoe’s voice, this is the podcast for you.
Subscribe and listen to London Bites now on Apple Music, Spotify, or wherever else you like to stream podcasts.
Below that are little Twitter and Instagram icons which presumably link to Zoe’s own social media. A cursory scroll down also reveals the latest episode of London Bites available to listen, but Harry’s still thinking about her podcast description. “Vampires just around the corner.” He’s already getting the feeling that this piece isn’t going to be all that great of an opportunity as Mr. Turner suggested it would be. The churning in the pit of his stomach only worsens when his eyes focus on the title of her latest podcast episode just under the streaming widget.
Vampires: Friends or Foes
Vampires. Society loves to hate them. Are they really the filthy bloodsucking monsters politicians would have us believe? Probably. But join me as I share my own experiences with vamps and the stories my subscribers have shared. Who knows, maybe the results will surprise you.
It seems pretty obvious now, Zoe Price is no mundane food blogger. Instead she’s a… an antisanguinist? A sympathizer? Well, no definitely not a sympathizer if she says that vampires “probably” are all those vile things people say.
At this point Harry’s not altogether sure what to make of Zoe Price. And he’s not so sure he’s looking forward to figuring it out. Figuring her out.
He swallows down a big gulp of lukewarm blood before he clicks play and closes his eyes, allowing his body to sink deeper into the soothing lavender and chamomile oils that have mixed in with the warm water.
Hi everyone, welcome to London Bites! I’m your host Zoe and today we’ll be getting into what seems to be everyone’s favorite topic to discuss: Vampires. If you’ve been a subscriber for awhile you might remember our episode from a few weeks ago, The Londoners guide to dealing with vamps featuring guest Maggie Sinclair. If you’re new to the podcast don’t fret, you can go back and listen to self defense instructor Maggie Sinclair share all her tips and tricks for handling a vampire situation. I’ve received a lot of messages on social media since then letting me know how helpful you listeners found that episode, so as usual feel free to tell me what you want to hear and maybe it’ll make it into the podcast!
Now onto today’s business. I hope you have a snack and something to drink because today’s episode is gonna be a long one. There’s no guests today. Insert “boooo” sounds here (but not really because who has the budget and skill for that? Not me that’s for sure.
Harry’s ears prick up just the slightest bit at the laugh she lets out at her own self-deprecating joke, but otherwise he remains still and faintly tense as he waits to here what else Zoe has to say.
Today’s show is going to run a little differently than usual, but hey it’s always fun to spice things up once in awhile, right? Instead of a guest joining me, I decided to pose a question to my wonderful followers on Twitter and Instagram. What have your experiences with vampires been like? And bleeding heck you lot had many a story to share!
So without further ado I’ll get right into it. And if you’re asking yourself right now “when is Zoe going to share her own story?” well tha’s a good question and I’ll be sharing at the end so I guess you’ve got to listen to the whole episode to get to it. No one likes a podcast fast forwarder! At least I don’t.
Ah, our first story is from Amy right here in London and she said that she once saw a vampire help an old lady cross the street. Hm, well who’s t’say it even was a vampire. It’s London! The weather is absolute shite if the number of jackets I’ve got in my wardrobe is any indication. Who’s t’say it really was a vampire and not just a human whose mark was covered by his coat. I’ll just put that one down as a… maybe vampire experience.
Harry doesn’t know whether he should scoff at how very human it was for Zoe to bring up those damn marks or seethe at the notion that a vampire helping someone was impossible. Nonetheless, he finds himself rubbing the pad of his thumb over his own cross marking on the skin of his left hand, just as dark and inky black as the day he got it.
He must get lost in his thoughts, thinking back to how it felt to get the mark branded on— the excruciating, his tears as he looked over the doctor’s shoulder to find his mother’s eyes, her own solemn expression— because once Zoe’s voice floats back through his ears, she’s already in the middle of sharing someone else’s story.
We could just let the filthy leech stay in our town, Zoe, and living right by a school no less? Not on our watch. Me and a few of the guys got together and drove the bloodsucker right out. The best part was he didn’t even try to fight back! Can you believe how humiliating? If he wasn’t a disgusting monster I might’ve felt bad for the kid really, but ‘ey he got what he deserved.
Well listeners, what a harrowing account by Joshua in Liverpool. It just goes to show the lengths some vamps will go to concealing their identity and how we as citizens must be vigilant. It was great to hear that none of those children got hurt before Joshua and his friends were able to get rid of that vamp.
Harry’s breathing picks up at that, fast and loud in the quiet of his bathroom. His hands find the edges of his tub and his fingers curl over the porcelain in vice grips. That was- humans call them the monsters but when they do things like that… humans are the deluded monsters in this world.
And this, this Zoe Price. She’s just, well, it doesn’t seem like there’s a question about her being an anti now. The way she talks about vampires… pretending like she’s willing to give everyone a fair shake. Ha! Fat chance at that.
It’s then that he hears her say “it’s truly a godsend that those god forsaken leeches can’t procreate or else we’d truly have a mess on our hands trying to get not just adult vamps but their spawn too.”
He can’t slam his laptop closed fast enough. He wants to scream at all the anger bubbling up from inside his chest. These people, they don’t know anything! Harry’s disgusted at how Zoe’s voice curled around those words, how she said them as if she’s said them before. Most of all, Harry’s angry at the fact that hearing that sentiment isn’t new, far from it really. The fact this his whole life, he’s had to listen to human talk about how vamps shouldn’t have kids, how it was a good thing they couldn’t. Well, he only really started hearing the latter when he grew older, when people forgot, when he moved away from Manchester and nobody knew him or where he came from.
All the same, it makes him sick to hear and he doesn’t know what he’s going to do tomorrow when he’s supposed to call this woman and set up a meeting. He doesn’t know how he’ll stand being on the phone with her let alone seeing her in person.
To stop his thoughts from swirling around in his head, he lets his body sink down until he’s submerged in his bathwater. He lets the silence overtake him and feels his tense muscles relax and his limbs grow heavy. He thinks of his mother and how mad she used to get at him when he did this as a child. He thinks about how warm her body felt as she wrapped him up in a towel and held him close to her chest and whispered how much she loved him in his ear. He thinks about how much he misses her. How now there’s no one here to pull him out of the bath and dry him off. So he stays like that, in the dark and the silence until sleep overtakes him.
---
*This fic would definitely not be written if it wasn’t for the amazing Danie @angelinsheer so thanks binch! And if you’re enjoying this fic just know that Danie’s been a huge help at planning and holding my hand through the entire writing process 😂
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au-universes · 6 years
Text
Basement Demon
Hey there everyone! It’s ya gurl Father Par Par! Luci suggested I post this short story of mine, so here I am! It has swearing, mentions of non-con experiments, and recreational drug use, so if you’re not into that, don’t read it. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
               Penny rolled over in bed and opened Snapchat on her phone. It was ten in the morning and she already had four snapchats. Three were from her friends and one was from her mom, sent at midnight. She opened that one last. It was a long series of videos of the cats. Penny missed her cats dearly since she’s been living in Detroit, and she loved getting pictures of them.
               But these videos were strange. The first one was a video of her black cat, Soske, sitting in front of the basement door on his hind legs, pawing at something in front of him. His eyes looked glazed over and his behavior was unlike anything Penny had ever seen. The caption said “Cats are acting weird.”
               The next video was of Penny’s white cat, Keko, who was stalking something by the basement door. With a quick pan, the video showed that the basement door was open but there was nothing there. Keko continued to stalk but then she stopped and her eyes lost focus and she stood up to do the same thing Soske did in the last video. The next video made Penny sit straight up in bed and her heart skip a beat. Soske was standing on his back legs again and he was pawing at the air and then he collapsed and started shaking on the floor. Penny’s dad came into the video and scooped him up. The next video was of Soske in her dad’s arms, shaking and curled up close to him. The next snapchat from Penny’s mom was a picture of the cats sleeping on the living room couch. The caption said, “Cats are fine, that was weird…”
               It certainly was weird… But Penny didn’t have time to dwell on it because she heard her brother come into the apartment and throw his keys.
               “Penny! Mike’s waiting for us outside,” Adrian shouted. Mike was their other roommate, one of Adrian’s friends from high school.
               “Where are we going?” Penny shouted back as she hurried to get dressed.
               “There’s a garage sale a few blocks away,” he said.
               “Okay, I’m ready,” Penny stuffed her phone in her pocket and pulled her hair into a quick ponytail as she ran out into the apartment. She followed her brother outside and hopped into Mike’s van, which was waiting outside the building.
               “Ready to go?” asked Mike.
               “Yep,” said Penny, buckling her seatbelt, not trusting Mike’s driving skills. They drove a few blocks down into the neighborhood with the old houses mixed with the newer houses. It was a pretty normal looking neighborhood, mostly filled with elderly people and college students. There were a few younger families in the newer houses. It looked like this weekend was the sub sale, since there were many garage sales scattered throughout the neighborhood. They drove past the ones that looked like a bunch of junk or the ones with all baby stuff. They stopped at one that looked big and had lots of interesting things out on the driveway.
               Penny hopped out of the van and ran to the interesting looking desk sitting out. She opened all the drawers and cupboards before moving onto the vintage Singer sewing machine next to it. The boys went into the garage and looked through the books and movies. Penny joined them but something caught her eye before she got the chance to browse the books. An old fashioned radio with a cassette player in the front was sitting on the electronics table next to a box full of cassette tapes.
               “Does this work?” Penny asked the person sitting in a lawn chair just outside the garage.
               “Yep, still works,” the woman said. “Just needs new batteries if you plan on using it. I used to carry that thing around back in the eighties.”
               “Whoa…how much?” asked Penny, already searching through the tapes.
               “You can have it for ten bucks,” she said.
               “How about five?”
               “Seven.”
               “Deal.”
               Penny walked away from that garage sale carrying the radio and three tapes; the Best of the Bee Gees, Hall and Oates, and a blank tape without a case, smudged writing on the sticker.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
               “Everyone listen up!” Anabel shouted, trying to get her team’s attention. She slammed her hands on the table for good measure. Her four teammates slowly quieted down and looked at her. They were sitting around the meeting table in their underground headquarters. The headquarters was small, but big enough for five bedrooms, two bathrooms, an armory, and a conjoined kitchen and meeting room. The five of them have been working on it since they were kids.
               “We have a mission,” Anabel said. “A house in the Chesterfield suburbs has a demon living in their basement. The homeowners don’t know yet, and I’d like to keep it that way. But the problem is, they have cats.”
               “Why is that a problem?” asked Jason.
               “There are two beings that are most susceptible to being possessed by a demon,” Ava said, folding her hands on the table and glancing at Eli who sat across from her. “Cats and Androids.”
               Eli stiffened. He had a feeling he knew what the plan was going to be and he didn’t like it.
               “Why is that, do we know?” asked Luke. His glowing blue eyes met Eli’s nervous yellow ones. Luke was born blind but he wore special contacts that allowed him to see. They were almost completely discreet except for the fact that they glowed icy blue. He often wore sunglasses out in public so that the blue glow wouldn’t draw attention, just as Eli wore sunglasses in public to cover his yellow eyes.  
               “We’re not sure yet, but we believe that it’s because demons can’t possess a human without permission. But androids aren’t in their code of honor, so they’re free real estate according to demons,” said Anabel.
               “That’s stupid,” said Jason. “Androids are people too. Just because they don’t have a soul or whatever, no offense Eli, doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have the same rights.”
               “If I may,” Eli interrupted. “I believe it is simply because we have easily changeable programming. For instance, I have programs that protect me from viruses and hackers, which could change my programming, but a demon isn’t either of those things. To them, I am basically an empty, semi organic body that is, as Anabel said, free real estate.”
               “And why cats?” asked Luke.
               Anabel shrugged. “No one knows.”
               Jason clapped his hands, making everyone startle. “Welp! I’m ready for whatever happens on this mission. Let’s go capture a demon!”
               And that was that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
               Penny, Adrien and Mike were laying on the roof of the van, which was parked next to a corn field. They passed a blunt between them as the last few notes of the Hall and Oates tape played out on the radio, which sat next to Penny on the roof. Penny replaced it with the mysterious tape with the smudged writing.
               “Anything could be on here guys,” said Penny as she rewound it and prepared to play it.
               “I’m ready for anything,” Mike said, his voice sounding congested and slightly muffled as he held in the smoke. Penny pressed play and took the joint Mike handed her, white smoke curling from his mouth. There was no music that started up. Instead, there was just the sound of distant voices and other movement.
               “Alright Dr. Darling, now I have a few questions to ask you,” said the crackling voice of a man over the sound of rustling paper. “You conducted illegal experiments on your assistant involving demon possession, did you not?”
               Penny looked at Mike and Adrien with wide eyes. They looked back at her with equally surprised expressions.
               “Yes,” said a different man.
               “And your assistant is an android, correct?”
               “Yes.”
               “Are you aware of the trial that took place last year confirming the citizenship and personhood of androids?”
               “Yes.”
               “So you knew that these experiments were unethical in nature and punishable by law.”
               “Yes.”
               “Did you create your assistant?”
               “Yes, I created Ben.”
               “It says in your file that all of your research up until Ben has been about demons. Is it possible that you created your assistant to help you specifically in these types of experiments?”
               “Yes, that was my intention.”
               “That is nonconsensual and violates many-“
               “Detective, sorry to interrupt, but Ben is programmed to not have any emotions. Consent does not matter to him, he is simply programmed to do as I say. What about all the cats I’ve used before Ben? They are not able to consent, so is that considered unethical as well?”
               “Yes, doctor, that is exactly what that means. If a person or animal is unable to consent, then it is unethical to conduct experiments on them regardless. Do you understand why you are being detained for the things you’ve done.”
               “Yes.”
               “And do you admit that your experiments were unethical and unprofessional?”
               “Yes.”
               The tape ended there and there was nothing but staticy silence.
               “What the fuck?” Adrien mumbled.
               “You found that at the garage sale?” asked Mike. Penny stared at the sky, still thinking about what she had just heard.
               “Uh-huh.”
               Just then, Penny thought of the Snapchats she received that morning from her mom. The detective on the tape mentioned Dr. Darling using cats in his experiments. What if her cats were being possessed by a demon? Or a demon was trying to possess them? She sat up with new energy, feeling the need to go back to her parent’s house to check on her cats.
               “Mike, take me back to the apartment building. I need to drive home.”
               The boys followed Penny off the roof of the car.
               “Why?”
               “I need to save my cats.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
               “I’m the bait, aren’t I?” asked Eli, cocking his head to the side slightly.
               “I mean, we didn’t want to come right out and say it…” Jason said. “We didn’t want you to panic or anything.”
               “We didn’t want to hurt your feelings by putting you out there like that,” said Luke.
               Ava chuckled and shook her head.
               “You both know that I have no feelings to hurt,” Eli said. “I do not mind. I’m willing to be of assistance in any way I can.”
               “That’s the spirit!” Jason shouted. The four of them were driving to Chesterfield, preparing to attend a big party at the house they were targeting.
               “Let’s go over the plan once more,” said Ava, still giggling. “We are going to attend this party and act like the other party goers. So just act like normal, like you’re regular people attending a party. Eli will hopefully draw the demon out and then we can capture it. The goal is to be discreet and quick. We need to get out of there as fast as possible.”
               “Won’t this be kind of unsafe with all those people there?” Luke asked.
               “I don’t think we need to worry about that,” said Ava. “Besides, most demons aren’t visible to the human eye, so we’ll just keep an eye on Eli and wait for the signs.”
               As they entered the neighborhood, they could see the party from all the way down the block. Cars lined the street on both sides and people streamed into the house they were looking for. The party already looked like it was hoppin’ and it was only seven o’clock. Jason navigated through the street and found a spot to park. Eli and Luke put on their sunglasses before they got out of the car. As they walked to the house, Luke nudged Eli and tapped his sunglasses.
               “Twinsies,” he grinned. Eli just started at him. Luke cleared his throat and looked forward. When they entered the house, they saw that the party was mainly going on in the basement. The stairs going down to the basement were converted into a train ride. There was a track that looped around at the top where people piled into the cars and then the conductor, a middle aged man in a stripped conductors outfit, used the controls to make the train slowly go back down the other side of the tracks.
               There was a long line of partiers waiting to go downstairs and the four demon hunters got in line. They stood behind three giggling women who wore short dresses and a bunch of leis and beads around their necks. They were clearly drunk. The three women shared a car on the train, the conductor having to help them on. The four hunters got into a car behind them, squeezing in tight, not wanting to get separated by these drunk party goers.
               As they disembarked the train at the bottom, Eli tried his hardest to focus and keep his eyes peeled for anything out of the ordinary. The drunk women were still nearby. Eli’s concentration was broken as someone shoved past him and smacked one of the girl’s butts. She shrieked and turned around, her drink spilling on the guy and her friends laughing hysterically. Eli turned away from the scene and tried to find his friends. They had already disappeared into the thick crowd.
               As Eli wandered the party looking for his friends, he noticed three things. First, the basement, before it was wrecked by the mess of a rager such as this, was a very nice basement. It was huge and nicely finished. There was an entertainment center and pool table off to one side, a sitting room, a spacious floor, old arcade games lining the back wall and a full bar on the other side.
               Second, the people here weren’t particularly drunk and awful. It was simply the fact that there were so many of them and most of them seemed to be inebriated in some way. Not to mention the empty cans and bottles all over the floor and the raggedy streamers hanging over almost everything.
               And thirdly, Eli realized that he was becoming paranoid and anxious. He didn’t realize that he was capable of experiencing such things, but the way his hands were shaking and the fact that he jumped every time he saw a flash of red told him otherwise. More than once, he thought he saw someone staring at him through the crowd wearing a red demon mask. But when he looked, they would disappear. It was putting him on edge. So it wasn’t a surprise that he jumped and spun around when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
               “Whoa, it’s only me,” said Luke. “You okay?”
               “Of course.”
               “I’m glad I found you,” said Luke. “I can’t find Jason and Ava.”
               “I think this crowd is affecting my ability to focus,” said Eli. He saw Luke glance down at his hands, so he shoved them into his pockets to keep them from shaking.
               “Okay, we’re almost done here. We’ll get out of here as soon as possible. Do you want to leave? I’m pretty sure we’d be able to handle ourselves without you,” said Luke, putting a hand on his friend’s shoulder.
               “No, I am fine. I don’t see how leaving would make any difference. Let’s find Jason and Ava,” said Eli.
               The pair pushed through the crowd trying to locate their friends. They spotted them over by the bar, where they were talking to a shirtless guy who was sloshing his drink all over the place. He wore a lei and sunglasses that were sliding off his face. Eli watched as the guy reached over and touched Ava’s hair. She gently pushed his hand away and shook her head. Luke and Eli approached and Ava’s face lit up.
               “There you are! We were so worried about you!” she said.
               “Hey! There you are! You two wandered off without us!” said Jason. “Having fun just the two of you I see.”
               “Jason, please focus,” said Ava. She smiled at the man who was still leaning on the bar, trying to get closer to her. The man looked at the two newcomers and lit up.
               “Hey! Twinsies!” he reached out and touched the lenses of Luke’s sunglasses, making him flinch and recoil. The man’s fingers left a grease streak on the lens.
               “I’m sorry for cutting this short but this has been a very unpleasant conversation and we’re leaving now,” said Ava.
               The boys followed Ava as she left the bar and walked to the back where the arcade games provided a bright glow.
               “Avaaa, first kill of the night, huh?” said Jason. Ava smiled and rolled her eyes.
               “Please, that guy was asking for it,” she said. She looked over to Luke and Eli. Luke had taken off his glasses to wipe the lens with his shirt. “Any luck finding anything you two?”
               “No luck,” said Luke, putting his shades back on.
               “I did see something…” Eli said, pausing to figure out how to say this. “At least, I think I saw something. On many occasions, I thought I saw a man staring at me through the crowd. He was wearing a red demon mask but every time I looked for him, he would disappear. Perhaps I’m having some sort of malfunction.”
               “You aren’t,” said Jason, staring at something over his shoulder. Eli turned around to follow his friend’s gaze and saw the man in the mask. He stood ominously still as the throng of partygoers flowed around him. Someone passed in front of him and then he was gone. Further into the crowd, somewhere the four hunters couldn’t see, a scream erupted, followed by more screams and a rush of people.
               “Now’s our chance!” said Luke. The four of them pushed through the crowd, which was becoming thicker as everyone ran to the train. The conductor was evacuating people. Four or five people were piling into each car and the little train was having trouble staying on the tracks.
               Eli looked away for one second and he lost track of his friends. They must have been swept away by the crowd. Eli had to try his hardest to not be swept away himself as he pushed his way to where the scream came from.
               Luke, Ava and Jason found themselves at the top of the stairs, the thick crowd of people pushing them back.
               “Eli is still down there!” said Jason.
               “Let us back down our friend is down there!” Ava said, trying to get past the conductor. But the man wouldn’t let them pass. He pushed them away and held the controller out of reach.
               “No one goes down there! It ain’t safe!” he shouted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
               Penny passed the cars that lined her street and parked in her driveway. The lights were on inside and she could hear quite the commotion. It didn’t sound like a party, it sounded like chaos. She pushed through her front door and immediately searched for her cats. She found them in her parent’s room, hiding from the crowds of people. They looked fine so Penny hugged both of them then went out to find the demon. She figured it would be in the basement. The only problem was that people were pouring out of the basement and there seemed to be a bit of a scuffle at the top of the stairs. Penny pushed her way through and got to the top of the train. The conductor was pushing three people out of the way who seemed to be trying to get back on the train.
               “Let me down there! I need to kill the demon that tried to hurt my cats!” she told the conductor.
               “No one goes down there!” said the conductor. He shoved Penny back. “Everyone has been evacuated and it’s not safe to go down there.”
               “This is my house! Let me down there!” Penny yelled, trying to force her way past him to grab the controller. He shoved her back and she stumbled, falling backwards into the crowd. How dare he put his hands on me, she thought. Whoever caught her when she fell back, pushed her back up. She used that momentum to surge forward and punch the conductor in the face. The crowd Oooh-ed. Penny used the opportunity to snatch the controller from the conductors hand and hop into the train. She drove the train down the tracks and into the basement. The basement was eerily quiet. There was no more music and it was dark save for the flashing party lights and the glow from the arcade games.
               Penny dropped the controller into the train car she was in and got out. She heard a scuffle coming from the entertainment center. She ran to where she heard the noise and saw two people. One was a man with pale skin and dark hair. He was on the ground, a pair of broken sunglasses on the ground beside him. Standing over him was another man. This one was tall and wore all black except for the red demon mask covering his face. There was an aura about him that sent chills of panic down Penny’s spine. She ignored it and stepped forward.
               “Hey!” she shouted, causing both men to look at her. The man on the ground had yellow eyes, telling Penny that he was an android. The demon only had two black voids where his eyes should have been behind the mask. “Get away from him, it’s me you want!”
               “And who are you?” a disembodied voice said. It sounded suspiciously smooth and normal.
               “I’m Penny, and you tried to possess my cats,” she said. “No one messes with my cats!”
               “Is that so?” the demon stepped over the man on the ground and approached Penny. Penny felt a jolt of uncertainty run through her, but then she thought of her cats and the disturbing Snapchats from that morning. She stood her ground, glaring at the demon, not having a plan in case she was overpowered, which was more likely than not.
               The demon walked right up to her and crowded into her space. Penny could faintly see eyes through the holes in the mask but otherwise, there was no sign of him being a human. No breath, no footsteps, he was silent. Penny clenched her fists and decided to do what she had just done with the conductor at the top of the stairs. She punched the demon in the face with all her might.  
               Penny gasped as she heard her hand crack against the demon’s unmoving face. Pain shot up through her arm. The demon grabbed her shoulders and brought his face closer, tilting his head as if he were going in for a kiss. Penny knew that a kiss from him would mean bad things.
               Before he could get any closer, something sounding like glass shattered over his head. His head turned all the way around. Behind the demon stood the android, the broken neck of a wine bottle in his hands. The android dropped the bottle neck and grabbed the demon’s face with both hands. In one swift motion, he pulled the demon off of Penny and flung him across the room. The demon hit the wall across the room and slid down to the ground.
               “Are you alright?” the android asked, approaching Penny who was staring wide eyed at the demon who was slowly getting back up.
               “Yes. Let’s kill this thing,” Penny growled, quickly getting over her shock.
               “Agreed. I am Eli,” he said.
               “Penny. How do you kill a demon?” she asked.
               “We need to trap it and then banish it,” said Eli. “They are immortal beings, they cannot be killed.”
               “Right. Is banishing it a permanent solution?”
               “Yes.”
               “Let’s do it.”
               Penny and Eli stalked around both side of the demon. The demon’s head snapped between the two of them before settling on Eli. He lunged and tackled Eli to the ground. Eli struggled under him and the demon began his descent. Penny took the opportunity to run at the demon and kick it in the face with all her strength. He stumbled back, falling off of Eli. Eli jumped to his feet and grabbed the demon by the collar. He slammed the creature against the wall, leaving a dent.
               “Penny, make a circle on the floor!” he said. Penny scrambled to find something to make a circle with. Then she saw the streamers hanging over everything. As she began gathering streamers, the demon kicked Eli square in the chest, making him fly back and crash through the wall into the bathroom. Eli pushed the pieces of ceramic from the destroyed toilet off of him and charged through the hole in the wall. He tried to get a hold on the demon as Penny laid the streamers on the ground in a circle.
               “I’m ready!” said Penny.
               “Help me get him into the circle!” Eli said, struggling with the demon. Penny ran to the scuffle and kicked the demon in the groin. It didn’t seem to have the effect she was hoping for but he still doubled over, giving the two of them the advantage. But as Eli tried to grapple him, he pushed the android out of the way and grabbed Penny around the neck with both hands, lifting her off the ground.
               “Enough is enough! I will not be defeated by a little girl and her bag of gears!” the disembodied voice filled the basement. Penny struggled to gasp for breath and claw at his hands around her neck. Her feet kicked and she could feel her windpipe being crushed. A wire wrapped around the demon’s throat. Eli, who was holding the wire, pulled the demon back, making him stumble into the circle, where Eli yanked the demon to the ground, making him release his hold on Penny. Penny fell to the ground and pushed herself away from the monster.
               Before the demon could do anything else, Eli lit a match and flicked it into the circle of streamers. The circle and the demon burst into flames. The demon seemed to sink into the ground, screaming and writhing. But the fire kept going.
               “We need to go,” said Eli, pulling Penny to her feet and leading her to the train.
               “We need to put that fire out!” said Penny.
               “It’s hellfire, water won’t do anything. It will go out on its own, it won’t destroy anything. But we need to leave before it consumes us,” said Eli. The two of them ran to the train and they got into one of the cars. Penny fiddled with the controller but the train wouldn’t move.
               “What’s wrong with it?” Penny yelled, feeling the heat from the fire get more intense.
               “It’s steam powered. It’s out of water,” said Eli. “It looks like water can just be dumped into the engine up there.”
               “The fish tank!” Penny shouted, pointing to the glowing fish tank across the room. “If we can get to it…”
               “There are no life forms in there, right?”
               “No. We haven’t had fish in there in years.”
               Eli took off across the room, running past the flames which seemed to reach for him. He lifted the tank and hurried back to the train, the water sloshing out of the top. He got to the train and Penny tried to help him dump it over the engine. Steam poured out of the train engine and the machinery inside hissed and rumbled to life. Eli jumped into the car with Penny and they rode to the top of the stairs. The crowd of party goers cheered when they saw the train crest the stairs. Penny and Eli hopped out of the train car. Eli was immediately enclosed in a hug from three people at the front of the crowd. They fussed over him as the conductor angrily took the controller from Penny. She let him have it.
               “Eli,” she called. Eli and his three friends looked at her. “Thanks for helping me down there. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
               “And I would not have survived if you hadn’t stepped in,” said Eli. The woman next to him with dark curls cascading down her back wrote something down on a slip of paper and handed it to Penny. It was a phone number.
               “Keep in touch with us, will you?” she said. “My name is Ava. Thank you for helping my friend.”
               “Anytime Ava,” said Penny. “I have a feeling you four weren’t here for the party.”
               “Call me and I’ll explain everything,” she said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
               Penny wandered down to her basement the next morning, her hand wrapped tightly. The party had dispersed long ago. Everyone left shortly after they defeated the demon. That night, after everyone left, Penny had called Ava and she explained that her and her friends were part of a demon hunting club. They were still learning their trade, but they could use someone as spunky as Penny. She told Ava she would think about it.
               The thought of defending cats everywhere appealed to her. She knew she would call back.
               Penny passed the burned spot in the carpet and looked past it to see the big hole in the wall and the destroyed bathroom within. She wandered to the bar and kitchenette. There were streamers and empty cans and pizza boxes everywhere. A garbage bag overflowing with paper plates and solo cups sat against the cupboard. Dishes filled the sink.
               But most importantly, her cats joined her downstairs, finally feeling safe from the demon that had lived down there. She hugged her cats, knowing that she not only avenged their honor, she also potentially saved their very lives. She then thought of all the other cats who were susceptible to being possessed by demons.
               She would definitely call Ava back.
               As she continued to ruminate over this, a flash of red flew past behind her…
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pikespendragon67 · 6 years
Text
Moon Tide: Leblanc
The first date!
Iwai mostly texted Tae updates on how Kaoru was doing, recommended doses for the prescriptions, etc. But along the way, the two mildly conversed. Then, Tae texted first with:
My office doesn’t open until 9, unless there’s an emergency. Wanna have that first date? ;)
Iwai was slightly bewildered. He didn’t forget that the good doctor asked him out a week or so ago, but she wanted their first date to be in the morning? Huh.
This was also a rather spontaneous request, as it was now 6:50 that very same morning.
“Dad?” Kaoru asked.
“Hm?” Iwai turned to his son, realizing he stared at his screen for over two minutes. “Oh, uh, you feeling good enough for school?”
“Yep, I’ve been resting a lot and I’ve been taking the medicine.”
“Okay, but make sure you don’t over exert yourself.”
Kaoru nodded confidently as he made himself breakfast on the go.
“Stay out of trouble!” Iwai smiled as he sent his son off.
Now back to the matter at hand. Iwai didn’t really have customers until the afternoon, and it wasn’t any time near an important event, so opening up shop too late wasn’t that big of a worry.
Leblanc, right?
Iwai decided to freshen up a bit while he waited for Tae to respond. As he was brushing his teeth, she texted a picture of her in front of the small café. The caption below: Don’t keep me waiting too long.
Bold one. Not bad.
One quick Google search revealed that Leblanc was just down the street from Tae’s clinic. Ah, she must be a frequent customer there in that case. That explains it.
…Hm, since it’s the first date, Iwai should put in some effort to look good. And probably bring Tae flowers or something.
Be there in 20.
He decided not to be too frugal (mostly to show he wasn’t some desperate idiot that demanded affection) and get a single flower instead of a bouquet. The flower shop owner noted that a rose would be a bit much on the first date, especially for one so early in the morning.
“How about this other red one?” He asked.
“Oh, that’s a sorrel. It means affection. But usually women are the ones that give hibiscus flowers like these. How about a sunflower? They mean adoration.”
Seemed a bit too cheery for Tae, in Iwai’s book.
“Then these blue ones?”
“Oh, bluebells! Those mean humility or gratitude. And I’ve made sure these ones aren’t poisonous, so you don’t need to worry about that, either.”
Perfect.
With a polite nod after payment, Iwai set off with a bluebell in hand.
Thankfully, Iwai didn’t have to sprain a lung to get to his destination. Or break a sweat. That would be unpleasant to deal with.
Stopping for a moment, he noticed Tae on her phone and in her work clothes. Now that he got a good look at her, she was prettier than he remembered. …Maybe that was because he was too concerned about Kaoru’s health when they first met.
Tae noticed him, and walked toward him. He met halfway.
“Got this for you,” he said a bit too quickly as he held out the bluebell.
She seemed a bit taken aback at first, but then smiled.
“How thoughtful,” she replied. “I’ll forgive you for being a few minutes.”
Nailed it. …Wait, he was late? Iwai checked his phone to realize it was now 7:14.
“I’m only teasing,” Tae snickered. “Come on, the coffee should be brewed fresh now.”
“Oh, uh, right.”
Tae silently remarked about how cute Iwai was being as Iwai opened the door for her. Good thing he had manners even at such an early hour.
“Mornin’, Boss,” Tae announced nonchalantly. She confidently strutted toward a small bar seat.
“Mornin’, Doc,” the middle-aged man behind the counter replied without lifting his head up. He did, however, when he heard the other set of footsteps. “Oh? Haven’t seen you here before.”
“Make sure you don’t schmooze him too much.”
“I’m not that desperate for customers, you know.” He turned to Iwai. “How do you take your coffee?”
“Black, please,” Iwai replied.
“Usual latte for you, Doc?”
“If you’d be so kind.” She patted the seat next to her. Iwai then decided to stop being awkward and joined her. “Boss here makes some of the best coffee I’ve had.”
“Well, considering this is a café, I would hope he does,” Iwai chuckled.
Boss let out a small snort. He then placed a small vase in front of him, allowing Tae to place the bluebell in it.
“But do you work here part time or something?”
“Had I the time and culinary skills, probably. But, in case you’re wondering, everyone here calls him Boss.”
“Ah.”
“Real name’s Sakura Sojiro, just make sure not to use that when filing taxes.”
“Damn, and here I thought I could get away with it,” Iwai grinned before he introduced himself.
Sojiro placed the cups in front of the two, and the two thanked him.
“Ah, this is the good stuff,” Iwai sighed after taking a sip.
“Your fears of mediocrity have been officially diminished,” Tae smiled. “We should celebrate with curry.”
Sojiro amusedly rolled his eyes as he started making preparations.
“Before you ask, Iwai is the owner of the airsoft store in town,” Tae spoke before she drank her latte.
“Not bad,” Sojiro responded. “Must’ve been difficult to get the work space.”
“Yeah, I had to go in an alley so little kids wouldn’t stop by frequently,” Iwai said. “It’s always about location.”
Sojiro gave a sympathetic hum.
Footsteps could be heard from above, slowly descending until a familiar face appeared from the side. Iwai did a double check only to realize that this was in fact the kid he sold the model gun to. Akira seemed just as surprised.
“Yo,” Tae greeted.
“Uh, hey,” Akira waved. He nodded at Iwai, and Iwai nodded back.
“On your way to school?”
Akira nodded and passed the two.
“Hang on, I have some leftover curry you can take with you,” Sojiro spoke as Akira opened the front door. He finished packing it in a small bento box and placed it on the counter. “Make sure you’re not late.”
“Thank you,” Akira bowed.
Does he live here or something…? Iwai thought to himself.
“You’ve been making sure he eats enough, right, Boss?” Tae asked. “Last thing I want as a doctor is to hear that he’s malnourished.”
“He’s been getting better, thankfully,” Sojiro sighed. “Kid’s not used to eating a lot, though, so it’s been a gradual process.”
“And Futaba?”
“She’s been taking her vitamins, last time I checked. Still need to find a way to get her to exercise, though. I want her to be comfortable, but I don’t want her holed up in her room where she’s on the computer all day.”
…She doesn’t live upstairs, too, does she? Iwai once again thought to himself. Place doesn’t really seem suited to raise two kids, unless there’s an apartment upstairs.
“Thankfully you seem to have the patience,” Iwai said. “I have a son named Kaoru, and back in the day I’d have to count in my head so I wouldn’t end up throwing a tantrum along with him.”
“That right?”
“Yep, it’s actually how I met him,” Tae replied.
“How cute.” Sojiro then served fresh mild-flavored curry. The two thanked him for the meal before they cooled their first bites.
“Okay, I need the recipe for this,” Iwai said.
“And here you thought I would be schmoozing him too much,” Sojiro chuckled.
Tae rolled her eyes with a grin.
“You wanna go Dutch?” Iwai asked. “I don’t mind paying, but I don’t want you to think you can never pay for anything ever.”
“Yes, please. Boss deserves some of my hard-earned medical treatment money.”
“Only some, how unfortunate,” Sojiro sighed with an overdramatic tone. “You kids keep your noses clean, flu season’s approaching sooner than I’d like.”
“You too, Boss, don’t want there to be an epidemic just because you were too stubborn to rest,” Tae waved as Iwai held the door open for her again.
Sojiro turned his attention to Iwai and grinned, “Feel free to bring Kaoru over when you have the time. Maybe one of these days he can talk with Futaba and Akira.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Iwai smiled.
Tae and Iwai decided to keep up the friendly chats as they strolled toward Tae’s clinic.
“Boss seems to have taken a liking to you,” Tae said. “And he tends to give out pretty good assessments of others.”
“Thank God,” Iwai breathed. “Can’t believe you took me to see your folks on the first date. Could’ve given me a warning beforehand.”
“What, and risk you stuttering to try and impress him?”
“…Shit, you got me there.”
That earned a laugh out of the two of them.
“Be thankful I didn’t take you to my actual parents, though. My mom would still be on my ass about not being a housewife or whatever, and with Dad gone, it’s harder to get her to change subjects.”
“You don’t have to worry about my folks, either. Dad left when I was a kid and my mom flat out doesn’t care about me.”
Thank God I’m not in the yakuza anymore, Iwai thought. Last thing I want is for her to get involved, or for my former brothers to try and do something.
At last, they arrived to the front steps of Tae’s clinic.
“Oh, that reminds me,” Tae spoke. “That bluebell you got me was beautiful, hope you don’t mind me giving it to Boss.”
“Not at all, I’m just glad you liked it,” Iwai responded with a grin. “It was…kind of a last minute decision, if I’ll be honest.”
“Well, considering bluebells can be bad luck, I could tell.”
“Yea-wait, what?”
“Old superstition that hearing them ring would mean someone close to you died.”
“I…the flower shop owner said it meant gratitude or whatever, though.”
Tae chuckled to herself for a bit.
“Ah, don’t worry. It has good meanings, too. Like other flowers, it can be used for medical treatments.”
She then placed her hand on his cheek and pressed a small kiss on it.
“It also means everlasting love.”
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thisiskatsblog · 6 years
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Do you believe Louis is Freddie’s father? The more they push the whole “he looks like Louis” thing, the more I’m giving up.
Hello anon!
Yes and no! Please don’t have a heart attack at the yes part, bear with me, and please let me explain.
I am not convinced that he is the father of the baby he and Briana get papped with. Never have been to be honest. There’s this French expression that I love “il y a quelque chose qui cloche”. 
From the warnings (Harry with the balloon, and the doll being thrown off stage “it’s a fake baby” to name just a few), to the way she wasn’t hushed up but instead paraded around (I was at the first London concert where Briana was - Modest and Simon were there too, it was all quite grim and stunt-y), to the fact that “Simon told Louis to embrace fatherhood” *barf*, to the inconsistency of the baby bump, to the fact that no paternity test was ever done, to the way it was announced (by the grandma), to the way Louis has been posting sad warning selfies, and the way he is never ever with his baby, whereas he clearly always was very crazy about kids. We have seen more loving and cute pics of him and Lux than we ever did of him and Freddie. Oh right. The baby is called Freddie. THAT’s when I knew for sure. Freddie Mercury, Teddy Mercury, Freddieismyqueen,… and Freddie Reign Tomlinson. 
The one thing that always boggled my mind was the birth certificate but there were possible explanations, the only thing I couldn’t understand was which woman would allow her baby to be fucked with in a scheme like this. Until I came out of hibernation and realised that “Freddie” is actually Briana’s brother - and everything fit together. You could say he bears a vague resemblance to Louis. But he strongly resembles Briana’s mother and her husband. And of course the person who would set this up for one of her children would have no problem to have another one of her children fucked with in this type of scheme. Daughter gets a nose job and gets to travel a bit, family can live comfortably. She’s captioned pics of the kid with #thejoysofbeingaparent - those are not the kinds of mistakes you make about children/grandchildren - you don’t suddenly think your grandchild is your child.
Also: Eleanor has been brought back. Like, in real life, do you really think someone who had done all that to her would go back to him? No one is that fucking stupid. She was a fake girlfriend, this is a fake baby, Danielle was there to make it impossible for Briana to become a beard. And  - my guess is - since Louis has chosen to write an album about a very long term relationship, they needed the old beard back to keep spouting somewhat believable mist. It’s a freaking mess, but don’t ever stop trusting your gut feelings or your own eyes about this. 
You know what keeps me going? Louis’ choice to name the baby Freddie Reign. Was that not the one thing that’s made you laugh out loud about baby gate? 
You know what else? “I’m having your baby, it’s none of your business!” That song, to me, is Harry having a cake fight with the people who decided that Louis was going to have a baby scandal and that it was none of Harry’s business. I am sure it has hurt them. 
And I am sure it wasn’t easy for Dan to include Freddie in the obituary for Jay. It hurt me when I first read that - that they had to “lie” at such a trying time in all of their lives.
However, I have since come to the conclusion that maybe I was totally wrong about that. While Jay never had the joy of knowing her first grandchild, she KNEW how much Louis and Harry loved each other and wanted to get married and have children, “100 per cent”. Maybe, just maybe, they chose the name together. And/or, maybe, just maybe, Freddie stands for the concept of Harry and Louis’ first child, which Jay will have been incredibly proud of. She was proud of her son, she was incredibly proud of his relationship with Harry also (my son returns to his husband, good choice Louis, introducing him to the entire family), proud is such a meaningful word to have used about the concept of the future first child of your son and his husband in a same sex marriage - and notice that no age is mentioned for Freddie. That was one well chosen sentence.
Is there anything else I want to say about this? I don’t think so. I’ve written some stuff on the birth certificate in the past -  you may wanna search my tags or history for that (I am too lazy to do it, anon, sorry, browsing too much old stuff will bring some of the pain back and i’m not ready for it). Most of all though, I think that despite problems, which every long term relationship has, particularly in a context as difficult as theirs, Louis and Harry are still together (Amsterdam, HL - ever since Amsterdam - I went to Amsterdam without you and all I could do was think about you - Elounor getting papped on the day of Harry’s first show in Europe, etc etc, if there’s nothing to hide there’s no need to do that, oh, and Harry having “dated” 5 Victoria’s secret models in a row, like does he have a recruiter there for him?) 
So yeah, in my opinion, Larry is still very very real. And so is Louis’ son Freddie, but not in the way some people think. 
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