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kickedshins · 7 months

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readalong riverdale playlist guide

songs have been added in no particular order. sometimes songs tie to broader visions of a musical episode, but some are just “they should have shoehorned this in somewhere in that classic riverdale way”. all songs are musical theater songs. yes i know they did superboy and the invisible girl but they did it wrong (sorry cami, you were great). this is an eternally updating playlist and guide. enjoy!

Corner of the Sky, from Pippin: Archie!!! This literally could happen anywhere at any point in time. What is this song if not Pippin going left Pippin going right. Put this wherever your heart desires. I want to come up with a Pippin musical episode plot because it’s so good. Jughead singing "Simple Joys" over a montage of Archie not dealing with his problems… I’m getting carried away.

Kind of Woman, from Pippin: Veronica would sing this in an entirely unselfaware way. I’m thinking early season two. Isn’t it a beautiful vision?

Superboy and the Invisible Girl, from Next to Normal: THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN A COOPERS SONG. I’m mentally rewriting the n2n episode with this being a Coopers song.

Could I Leave You?, from Follies: A timeskip Veronica and Hermione duet at their respective shitty husbands. It ends with Hermione resignedly going back to the minutiae of marriage and with Ronnie shooting Chad in the face. Don’t worry about how this messes with plot this isn’t about that.

Your Fault, from Into the Woods: Read this post and envision a beautiful ITW episode.

I’ve Never Been in Love Before, from Guys and Dolls: Okay honestly? Archie and Josie duet. Cuter than "Fight For Me", imo.

Mother Knows Best, from Tangled: Alice, duh. Season one or season seven.

Do You Hear the People Sing?, from Les Mis: Season six union stuff baybee! Hand in hand with "Bread and Roses". It also would be really funny to have KJ and Vanessa, who in my opinion suffer the most from iPhone Voice in the cast, to do such a grand musical-y song. It would not be very good but boy would it be entertaining.

Therapy, from Tick, Tick… Boom!: BUGHEAD DYSFUNCTION DUET YES PLEASE. Let’s say season four. "Exquisite Corpse" vibe, but suppress it all. Maybe the problem’s simply codependency!

Get This Right, from Frozen II: Okay hear me out this is one of the most stupidly romantic songs I have ever heard. An Archie song, obviously. Timeskip Varchie. Maybe he’s actually about to propose, maybe not, doesn’t matter. All that matters is how much I genuinely think KJ could have slayed this song.

Being Alive, from Company: Obviously go read Jughead’s Weird Fantasy right now if you haven’t already. But even in Riverdale canon I would want Jughead to sing this in timeskip. If we’re getting specific it feels very Tabby tucking him in after he gets too drunk at the key party. Sorry for nixing the gay subtext by putting it next to a Jabitha moment jail for a million years for me I know. It could also be after Archie calls him when he’s in NYC. There you go, gay people.

Something’s Coming, from West Side Story: Season one or seven Archie. Just feels very wholesome. I think it would be cute. Could be performed on stage if season one.

How Did We Come to This?, from The Wild Party (Lippa): A Veronica La Bonne Nuit performance that somehow becomes a group number (she’s the only one singing on stage though). Season three. No "Queenie Was A Blonde" tag. I could make an AMV to this song. I should not do that I already have three in the works. But I could.

Run Away with Me, from The Mad Ones: This is purely self-indulgent because I like on-the-road Jarchie and I have a soft spot for this mediocre musical for personal reasons.

Suddenly Seymour, from Little Shop of Horrors: Choni! Choni forever and ever amen. Season seven, I think, when Cheryl finally accepts that she’s a lesbian and is facing homophobia from her family/society/etc. Cheryl is Audrey which is funny because “mama was poor” lol no she wasn’t. They should go all the way and get the rights to change the lyrics to Suddenly Toni. Neither Madelaine nor Vanessa has the right voice for this song even a little bit. I do not care.

Partner in Crime, from Tuck Everlasting: Betty and Archie. In my wildest fantasies this is like a season four flashback to them as kids and we have kid Barchie sing this song but other than that I think this could be a number when they’re hooking up in timeskip. Even though I don’t approve of Barchie hooking up in timeskip because I hate straight people I do think they would slay this. KJ specifically I think would sound great on this, it’s not really a Lili song but oh well. Another version that would be incredibly funny but not as good would be having timeskip Veronica and Reggie sing it about, like, actual crime.

Totally Fucked, from Spring Awakening: Kevin-centric group number in the style of "In" or "Beautiful". Could be anywhere from seasons two to four. Maybe we include the “did you write this?” thing with Betty and Jughead as Melchior. They did some expose for some paper. You know how it is. I wish the Riverdale characters were allowed to say fuck so bad.

Moving Too Fast, from The Last Five Years: Timeskip Jughead. It almost fits but doesn’t in a way that’s oh-so-Riverdale.

The I Love You Song, from The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee: Sad. Shared between Betty, Veronica, and Cheryl, but Veronica-centric (could be an unhinged La Bonne Nuit performance from her with cutaways to the other two, actually). Whenever the most amount of parents in this group are in jail. There’s at least one meaningful shot of Jughead reacting.

I’m Breaking Down, from Falsettos: Okay this one is sort of cheating because I don’t necessarily want to fit it into the actual canon of Riverdale I just think if Archie had come out in high school Veronica would have pulled a "The Ladies Who Lunch" and done this at La Bonne Nuit. I think Cami would body that.

What Is This Feeling?, from Wicked: Hear me out. Bret/Jughead duet.

For Good, from Wicked: Betty and Veronica, season seven. Or quad number in late s4/early s5 before the timeskip. I think Lili would sound gorgeous on this, especially the bridge.

Two-Player Game, from Be More Chill: Look Joe Iconis wrote music that was used in Archie: The Musical let me have this okay. Season one Jarchie. Jughead as Michael obviously even though he’s nothing like Michael and Archie is nothing like Jeremy. I just want to make Cole Sprouse say “favowite”.

Mother’s Gonna Make Things Fine, from A New Brain: I have a whole beautiful vision for an A New Brain musical episode that takes place in season four. It’s too long to get into right now but just know it’s there and it’s gorgeous and I’m going to fully flesh it out soon. Once again this is obviously an Alice song, except instead of well-meaning Jewish mom it’s overbearing evil (albeit MILFy) WASP. She’s fretting over Betty because Betty’s fretting about college or Jughead or something who cares. I just need Mädchen to do this.

Change, from A New Brain: This would happen about three quarters of the way through the episode. In classic Riverdale fashion they’d get a little insensitive with it and this would be a Ronnie La Bonne Nuit performance. Change the government kill the mayor! Say that! Even if the mayor is your parent! Especially if the mayor is your parent!

Brain Dead, from A New Brain: This is my favorite part of my A New Brain musical episode. It’s once again a Bughead repression duet. Just imagine the lavender marriage dream sequence anger tango they would do. I also think Cole Sprouse wouldn’t sound too horrible on this song. High praise. No lyric changes Jughead is saying “as the MD lifts me in his cruisy chiseled arms”. I’m getting angry about the fact that I will never get to see this on my screen I’m going to do some breathing exercises to calm down.

Take Me or Leave Me, from RENT: We’re gonna split this up among couples in classic Riverdale fashion. Timeskip, our Maureens are Kevin and Veronica, and our Joannes are Fangs and Archie. The Joannes don’t really work so maybe we’ll pull another classic Riverdale and cut their verses. Unfortunately the best line of the song (“Women, what is it about them? Can’t live with them or without them!”) has to be cut. I wish Choni could also sing this but alas it can’t work in this. Mostly this is an excuse to give Casey Cott more stuff to sing and I think it would be hilarious if he sung this.

Tango: Maureen, from RENT: Honestly, Riverdale both could and would do a really messy RENT episode. I should ruminate further on that. Anyway. I don’t actually know where or how this could work but I want it to be a weirdly sexually charged Vughead duet. But that makes Betty or Archie Maureen, and they are not Maureen… I don’t know. This one’s just in here because I like imagining Cole Sprouse dancing, and because I think Jughead is Jewish and it would be really funny to hear him say “Riverdale Jewish Community Center”. Let’s go with timeskip. She cheated! She cheated! Betty cheated! Fucking cheated! Oh, shit, could this be a Jarchie song in timeskip when Betty and Archie are hooking up? I think it could! Wow. Good work gang.

Razzle Dazzle, from Chicago: I’m also creating a beautiful Chicago musical episode that I don’t have time to detail right now but trust me it’s awesome. It’s in season four, Hermosa is relevant to it. Anyway this is another Kevin-centric group number where everyone is lying to different people about different things. Crucially, Cole Sprouse says the line “they’ll never know you’re just a bagel”.

I Can’t Do It Alone, from Chicago: Veronica’s asking someone to help her scheme!

Mister Cellophane, from Chicago: GAY KEVIN. NEED I SAY MORE.

My Own Best Friend, from Chicago: Beronica duet. Lives would be changed. They’re sort of fighting at this point in the episode so there would be an underlying current of potential hatefucking. But that’s sort of always the case with this song tbh. Also this isn’t on this playlist but imagine Reggie singing "Roxie". So bad. So good.

American Idiot, by Green Day/from American Idiot: Songs from jukebox musicals count too, right? Archie-led group number obviously. Let’s go with season six, but it could be season one or five, too. Maybe he is the faggot America. Jughead says the line “now everybody do the propaganda”. There’s a coordinated dance thing a la "Random Number Generation".

A Cockeyed Optimist, from South Pacific: Archie, duh. Season one, six, or seven. Probably sung directly to a Lodge.

Watch What Happens, from Newsies: Betty, season four. She's doing a piece on the community center that Archie and Mad Dog co-run. I think Lili would slay this honestly. I debated adding the reprise largely so that I could have Cole sing the snake line and to have an iconic "the poor guy's head is spinning" thing side note how can I make Davey and Jack about Jughead and Archie someone needs to shoot me. Anyway we'd cut the stuff about Katherine being into Jack in this song obviously because Betty is unhappily hetero with Jughead. Hashtag women in journalism.

Matchmaker, from Fiddler on the Roof: 50sdale girls. Really strong fun gay visuals exist in my brain for this one.

Anything You Can Do, from Annie Get Your Gun: Vughead. Neither can I!

Let Me Entertain You, from Gypsy: Ronnie duh. Season three-ish La Bonne Nuit Era. Or Polly Amorous.

I Cain't Say No, from Oklahoma!: 50sdale Betty sexual awakening era. I can SEE a beautiful beautiful dream sequence vision where she dances around flirting with Archie and Jughead and Reggie and Veronica can't you.

Tribulation, from Schmigadoon!: Yes this is a TV show not a staged live musical who cares. I don't like Music Man I'm not putting "Ya Got Trouble" on here. Alice gets a patter I don't think Mädchen would be particularly good at it but it would be extremely fun. Season seven most likely, but let's be real it could come at any point in the show.

Naughty Baby, from Crazy for You: You think I'm about to say Veronica or perhaps Cheryl don't you. WRONG Dark Betty. Oh it would be so cringe so painful so bad so terrible. It must happen. I don't know when in the show it happens it could literally be any time in s1-6.

With One Look, from Sunset Boulevard: Ronnie... I'm thinking s5 Riverbucks era.

that's all i have for now but there's more to come :]

#riverdale #kickedshins originals

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box-dwelling · 1 year

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I've been a fan of Marvellous Mrs Maisel since season 1 but like, the Susie gay stuff is feeling like a real fucking tease. Even with the most recent episode where it finally seems confirmed I feel baited. I'm guessing this is going somewhere with it being the cliff hanger but I just, I don't feel it. And honestly all the cast interviews feel so weird too and always have. Like "oh her sexuality isn't important and we don't have to show it" ok so why are you fucking teasing us with it so much. Why are you getting so close to showing but then not? Like I'd honestly respect it more if Susie was just butch and they never touched it instead of edging us like this. Like haha she went to a gay bar but she still looked super uncomfortable. Ooo she has an ex girlfriend but they never actually say they were dating and they could just be like ex clients. I just feel fucking teased. Commit you god damn cowards. If Susie's sexuality doesn't matter when every single second of midge's personal life is the be all and end all of the show, then why are you just cowardly hinting? Have some god damn balls.

It really doesn't help that I just am losing my patience with the plot. A lot of people were saying how last season it started just feeling like rich white woman temper tanturm hour but this last episode really solidified it. Midge's unprofessionalism is feeling less enderingnand edgy and more like she's just sulking because has to actually work to get to the top. Oooooo I'm a professional writer on one of the most famous comedy shows in the country, but I'm not allowed to guest star because of very reasonable professionalism rules. I'm sure my position as a writer on one of most watched shows in the country definitely won't open other doors to get on other shows. So I'm literally going to completely ruin a completely unrelated gig. Remember when her unprofessionalism was that her jokes were too edgy for the time? That her quick wit and desire to tell the world the way she sees it was what was getting her in trouble. The was what she bonded with Lenny over which was by far one of the most interesting relationships in the show. But tbh they ruined that by having them sleep together. Lenny worked well as this almost mythical concept of what she could become, both good and bad. The relationship was complex and interesting and worked way way way more as friends/peers. But no midge now suddenly has to be romantic with every guy in the show, including her boss now? Which they just don't comment on the blatant workplace harassment there? It's just tee hee Midge is pretty so her boss wants to sleep with her.

Also like can I just say the stuff with Abe was so fucking gross this episode. For a guy who's been pretty heavily autistic coded throughout the show the way they framed him trying to make up with Rose after their fight, which yes he was an asshole in and needed to apologize for, it felt like they made what seemed to me like an honest loving gesture of apology communicated non verbally, which yes he's been heavily autistic coded this whole fucking show so that's likely the best way he has to communicate, as child like and pathetic was just disgusting. Like I can see myself in his head so much. He messed up and he knows he did but he doesn't know how to apologize for it so he gets up in the middle of the night and picks her roses to scatter on her bed and then comes to be non sexually intimate with her, deliberately trying not to get too close into her personal space so she doesn't feel overpowered or attacked. A pose that could literally be interpreted as him begging her forgiveness. And that describing it's sounds so sweet but in the show he's blocked like he's being a pathetic child. It's so so gross.

And that's not even talking about the conversation that triggered it which spends half the time treating every woman in the scene like they're shallow and unable to understand media, before seemingly taking a minute to mock anyone who wants to read more into stories, highlighting queer analysis especially, as people who refuse to just let stories be and being too forceful for asking people to actually think about what they're watching. Real the curtains are blue shit.

I honestly love Abe so much he reminds me of my dad in a lot of ways so I am pretty biased but even still I just feel so gross after bits of this episode. Especially when they do stuff like "haha men don't want to know about lady problems" while actively undermining sexual harassment and making all the female characters besides queen of all midge and Susie, who despises all thing femmine, (in a way that used to feel like butch rep but with the other stuff seems now like a way to say she's competent because she's not acting like a silly girl) be portrayed as dumb.

Idk man I miss mai.

#marvelous mrs maisel #midge maisel #susie myerson #abe weissman #rose weissman #vent #rant

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emblazons · 1 year

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you're so right! what's so fun to me about ST is that it feels a Lot like a small production concept with a Massive budget sometimes. a lot of shows/movies produced to become "mainstream names" are written very shallowly (not all ofc), and have plot and character motivations for example directly told to the audience. it's easy to understand, palatable, and also fun to casually watch on the side while not really paying attention bc any big developments are verbalized. there's few big production movies (like Inception for example) that are seriously challenging and leave plot threads open ended or ask the audience to come to their own conclusions

the Duffers keep saying how ST blew up more than anyone ever expected. and i honestly appreciate how they've overall kept to their original writing style a lot (obviously with some variations over time and experimentation). they've really committed to the show don't tell at this point. and it's fascinating to me that a lot of criticism of the show/plot is actually people going in expecting the usual big production format, not adapting to the more indie style storytelling the show has, and getting confused as a result

for example there's intricate plot related to the UD reaching back to s1 that is still left open ended. and i've seen tons of people call things plot holes before since things weren't "properly explained", like Will messing with the lights insano style at the Byers. when in reality, the show Itself goes back to reference it seasons later, making it clear that it's Going Somewhere with it and didn't just forget or retcon it

same with things like Will's sexuality, which is just assumed the audience Knows at some point (some right away s1e1 and others in s4 at the latest when he is openly in love with his best friend). but there's people who think Will will end up single since his "big arc" in s5 will be coming out. when in reality. the audience already knows he's gay. the show just relies on people Seeing it and doesn't Tell us explicitly

and like you say, for smaller productions this approach is very much the norm. i used to go to a french cinema with my class back in the day where we'd watch small budget subtitled french movies lmao, and they had incredible symbolism and messages. and by the end some people who were actually interested loved them, and a lot of other people thought they were dead boring bc they watched them like they would a marvel movie and in turn missed what actually happened in the movies

and it's apparent a lot of the audience is also watching ST like they would a marvel movie, which works for a lot of the action and cinematic scenes. but also causes them to completely miss things like Max's Vecna escape scene not just being there bc it "looks cool" but actually being about her suicidal ideation like i've seen a Bunch of people not get etc. same thing with people thinking talking about lighting or set design or costume is "reading into things" when it's very obvious how much thought ST puts into them (more similar to smaller indie productions that high budget movies)

overall, just saying hard agree with you! i think a lot of people watch the show strictly as the big money #1 Netflix show it is and then miss that it is also produced by dedicated film enthusiasts who were always aiming to create a passion project that they keep saying just became a main stream success on accident

You get it! Like. No notes just post because…yes lmao.

#duffer brothers #stranger things #asks

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frickin-sumi-from-persona-5 · 6 months

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i need to get p5r post-canon headcanons (some of these aren't really headcanons they're just me making my own b plots lmao) off my chest. i finished royal last night and i have so much i wanna talk about. its headcanon dump time i guess

(obviously huge spoilers for persona 5 royal)

fyi- these are all super unorganized and some of them don't make a lot of sense without the others. Sorry this is a mess lmao i just wanted to throw my thoughts out there.

also! i named my mc Ren

- akechi didn't die that's not canon. when the wish star thingy turned mona into a helicopter it did so because of ren wishing hard enough for all his friends to be safe. this extends to akechi & maruki and both of them made it out alive

- when he goes into the velvet room after grabbing maruki, ren thinks akechi geniunely did die and starts having a full on breakdown and then akechi just says something to the effect of "you never change" and ren turns around to see akechi leaning against the wall in the velvet room and ren is relieved

- meanwhile akechi is just like "well. i'm alive and i have to accept the consequences of my actions long term now. what the fuck. i hate this guy" but is secretely happy ren cared that much

(fwiw i ship ren/sumi/akechi as a poly trio but they aren't together as of the end of royal, just ren/sumi with akechi kinda third wheeling from time to time)

- after maruki's palace, he still has azathoth as his persona but decides to discontinue any further research.

- on that note, the metaverse wasn't erased. lavenza hand waved that well enough the first time. it takes a little bit for it to get back to normal though. the new path in mementos is still there and mementos just kinda changes gradually over time anyhow

- ren actually did let maruki go through with his plan originally, but lavenza was able to help him go back and make the right choice. because of this ren deeply wants to see a future where him and all his friends are alive and happy

- after the battle with maruki he begs sojiro to let him stay at leblanc and sojiro really does try but ultimately joker has to leave

- Akechi being revived after everything went to normal means he's basically homeless, ren makes sojiro reluctantly agree to let Akechi stay in the attic.

- Akechi has to work at the cafe at first but he can't make coffee for shit so Sojiro just lets him off the hook.

- Ren is heartbroken on his return to his hometown (somewhere close to but not specifically Inaba, maybe Okina?)

- Futaba and Sojiro make a good case for him to come back, and Shujin academy actually backs this up because of his performance last year (also Kawakami)

- after a few months away Ren moves back to youngen. The metaverse has kinda settled and it's back to normal, and the phantom theives resume business as usual

- im. basically just writing fanfic here lmao

- Haru and Makoto move in together to save on costs. Is this gay? time will tell

- Ryuji transfers to a different school due to the move but still hangs out with the gang

- Ann does study abroad after all, and she's sad to go but she wishes the theives luck from wherever she goes (maybe Los Angeles?)

- Haru keeping Okumura foods never happened either. She was able to mostly dissipate the company in an effort to try to distribute the wealth better. Of course, this didn't actually work completely and there are still many powerful ex-okumura foods executives out there, but Haru is happy she did her part.

- Around the time or Ren returning, the phantom theives go through a big transformation of trying to determine their values (as well as who they are).

- Ren makes Akechi stay around with the phantom theives and the entire team kinda hates him except Ren and Sumi, although eventually people start warming up to him.

- Ren convinces the Phantom Theives to let Akechi stay around because he thinks that the phantom theives of all people should believe in letting people change. They agree on the condition that they check if Akechi has a palace. He doesn't and so he stays around. He does come to geniunely regret his actions and tries and makes up for them.

- After spending YEARS not dare letting anyone see any flaws with him, Akechi becomes just kinda burnt out. He's just a pathetic little failboy now and he knows it and hates himself for it. He's not good at asking for help

- Also Akechi 100% has some kind of trauma disorder/personality disorder. I don't know too much about it but from what I know i wanna say i headcanon akechi with npd

- ren is transmasc. there's not much of an in-universe explanation that would make sense here but he's trans. he has tboy swag.

- ren is kinda fucked up but has grown used to the horrors(tm) and doesn't give a fuck anymore.

- there's no good headcanon i can make with ryuji. like he's just a guy and we love him for it

- ann absolutely has a crush on shiho and i ship them. ann thinks she's "just an ally lol" until one day it hits her and she's like. oh. i'm gay.

- yusuke is probably bi or something. you cannot tell me he doesn't like men in some capacity. actually wait maybe he's aro/ace spec. i don't even know with him i just think my man's funky.

- also yusuke is 100% autistic. i think most of the phantom theives are kinda neurodivergent in some way, but Yusuke & Futaba stand out as being the Autistics of the bunch(tm)

- Makoto wanted to be a police commissioner but kinda comes to the realisation that won't do anything so she kinda just has a crisis. Both hee and Haru spent their lives accepting oppressive systems and they're kinda just recoiling at what they'll do now.

- Futaba doesn't make any new friends in school but she's happy things are back to normal. She's in the same class as Sumire.

- Haru has no idea what to study in college and neither does Makoto. She ends up taking Psychology and Makoto ends up taking intro to law even though neither of them are sure what they want for the future.

- Akechi ultimately resigns from going to school but helps Ren & Sumi out with homework when they ask

- Sumire and Futaba get Kawakami's class as their homeroom. Futaba calls Kawakami a "milf" and it annoys Sumi. Futaba knows it annoys her and she does it on purpose.

- Sumire is trans. Kasumi isn't. Sumire looked up to her sister and wanted to be a girl so when she finally got the chance to be someone she looked up to and erase her guilt of course she took it. A big part of the reason why she didn't want to stop being Kasumi was gender dysphoria. Sumire wasn't her name prior to this I can only assume she had a deadname. Maybe she chooses Sumire to honor her sister.

- Hifumi becomes a phantom theif eventually. I've speculated about this too much and now I want it to be real.

- Akechi and Sumi have a showtime attack. I'm not sure exactly what It would entail but I can picture Akechi saying something like "I can be elegant when I want to"

- After Hereward forms, Akechi is no longer a wild card. As Akechi grows and recovers as a person, his metaverse outfit changes, and eventually it looks like something along the lines of his White Suit, but with a different color palette. The top mask part of his helmet/mask is the only part that sticks around, now my boy has his hair out and can breathe (and take off his mask dramatically like the theater kid he is)

- The Royal Trio probably become a proper trio like sometime in the early fall (after ren comes back to yongen). Akechi and Sumi are initially very jealous of the time they spend with Ren but come to realise that the time spent with the three of them is the time that matters most of all.

- The Phantom theives ultimately decide that because of the money and treasure they get from Infiltrating Mementos/Palaces, most of them don't need jobs. They spend their money cautiously so they don't like. Fuck up the economy and/or tip off law enforcement.

- Eventually members who were undecided with their lives ultimately resolve to be one of the phantom theives and just do that full time. Sumi, Yusuke, and Ann are exceptions right now, with Sumi chasing her dreams to be a Professional Gymnast. Somewhere much later down the road I think the phantom theives decide to follow these goals as a team. Sumi and Ann traveling for work could probably make a great cover for the Phantom Theives.

(although i'm not thinking about their characters beyond ren graduating high school. this is more their POV and what they aspire to do for the future)

- I imagine the phantom Theives kinda just become like Tokyo's superheroes in that they have threats come up from time to time and just kinda deal with it as necessary

- People can talk to their personas at any time, but can only summon them in the metaverse. A lot of Personas have things to say throughout the day that they make some commentary on. Most of them are fairly reliable for advice, but don't technically know any more than the person they're apart of.

- Joker is a bit of an exception to this rule, due to having more than one Persona. If he wants to talk to them he kinda has to tap into his mind and see them all. It's not particularly difficult it just requires a little bit of focus, and there's usually not much of a reason to do it.

- Also his personas manifest physically in the velvet room as well.

- At a certain point Mona just kinda comes into the velvet room too and just fucks around while joker is working his ass off to fuse the most overpowered persona

- i don't really know anything about strikers but quite frankly if i ever get around to playing it i'm gonna disregard half of it as not canon and then just take the most important story elements and also sophie and just incorporate it into my perception of persona 5

- Maruki considers teaming up with the Phantom Theives, and ultimately decides against it, although he helps them out every now and again.

- Personal favorite. Maruki was able to manipulate mementos to his will and create a whole new path, and The Phantom theives are curious in seeing if they can do the same thing. After a bit of work, they end up creating a safe room that takes on the appearance of theives den. This has the effect of the cognition believing the Phantom Theives are safe and out of the way, making it easier for them to slip by the radar.

- If Futaba is ever really busy Lavenza subs in for her and does the navigating.

It's kinda funny how canon-divergent all of this is. Because I'm normally someone who religiously sticks to canon and doesn't like it when fanworks stray too far from the established canon. That said, Persona 5's ending felt kinda sad and I want some copium. not me casually rewriting their reality in my mind the day after beating dr maruki

anyhow now i gotta play strikers :3

#persona 5 #persona 5 headcanons

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secretgamergirl · 1 year

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The Entire Plot of Final Fantasy 14, with all the expansions, and some serious analysis of how good it actually is. (Part 10 - Post-Endwalker... mostly.)

Last time, we covered Endwalker, the most recent expansion as of when I’m writing all these, and genuinely serving as an ending to the story. To date, the plot irons we’ve hard in the fire are the threat posed by this evil empire which was very much going for a nazi thing, this mysterious council of evil weirdos whose motives were never really pinned down until the third expansion, and this whole tragic cycle of races not considered to be human summoning gods that just exacerbate tensions with their neighbors, and we genuinely did resolve all of that. We also got uh... let’s say kind of ambitious, and established that basically all life anywhere in the entire universe has been wiped out except for the people on your planet and a few stragglers showing up at the cafe we’re helping some unstoppable killing machines set up as a change of pace. And I don’t actually expect them to walk any of that back, except maybe the god summoning, because I’m pretty sure the current writing team did in fact get the memo that people MUCH prefer the later relatively light-hearted self-contained adventures to the grim political stuff.

Also last time I tried to embed this cutscene from halfway through the final boss fight and it wouldn’t let me and I need to stick it in here because seriously it is hilarious how they just sucked all the tension out of fighting the would-be destroyer of all life in the universe to throw in this random silly nonsense.

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I also didn’t really get a chance to share my closing thoughts on the expansion, which are of course that it’s kind of a huge mess? Tonally it is all over the map in a really jarring way. That’s largely true of the game as a whole, but usually there’s a much smoother ebb and flow to it. You build up to a big tense dramatic moment, leave to regroup somewhere, have some lighthearted encounters with the locals, and build back up. Then major side content between expansions is either all silly, or a raid that builds things up then releases the tension with some super sappy happy ending. Here though? Intrigue with NO payoff, then some hijinks, then torture and suicidal nazis, then a big action beat immediately giving way to cute little moon bunnes, then tender gay moments with the past selves of villains, then a really legitimately dark climax, and this jaw-droppingly comedic bit with Zenos here. Just what the hell? Plus you know the actual major threat that this big old apocalypse is really going to actually destroy the world and all its splintered off alternate dimensions simply holds no teeth, because we’re coming DIRECTLY on the heels of the expansion where you pull one of those back from the bring of destruction, and nobody in their right mind would retroactively make that some sick shaggy dog story. Also it doesn’t really make sense how it plays out. We built up this meteor shower imagery forever but then it’s literally just an ominous skybox and we’re actually dealing with some sort of psychic attack.

It’s also a weirdly comedic expansion on the whole. I don’t know if I really properly conveyed it but basically every major scene has someone kinda taking the piss out of the whole conversation by being too self-aware about things in one way or another, and like, I’d honestly say it all lands. Anyway, I can’t get into the entirety of the next between expansions interlude because as of time of writing only 60% of it has been released, and again, that’s 60% of each plotline going on, so nothing has a conclusion right now. But I said I’d cover what there was to cover so here we go.

After getting back from the far reaches of space we have no outstanding crises to deal with for the first time ever, and have some nice relaxed conversations with people. Mostly Krile and Tataru who respectively are responsible for the cutscene above to some degree, and uh... from where I sit the biggest remaining threat to the world? While everyone else was off saving all life in the universe, Tataru was just aggressively expanding her personal business dealings all over the world. She’s got this international trade network going, status as a fashion designer, her own personal airship, and she’s just rolling in cash to a point where she just gifts you your own private island.

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The island is it’s whole THING where you basically play like Stardew valley in your downtime and I haven’t really personally gotten into it as I have work I’m trying to get done. Everyone else is off doing their own thing in semi-retirement. The twins are still doing relief work in what’s left of the empire, Krile and G’raha just sort of went back to college, with her clearly having a thing for him and him still having this hopeless crush on you. Pretty sure Thancred and Urianger are just shacked up somewhere and hanging out with the moon rabbits, and Estinein is hanging out with Vrtra and damn right do I ship’em. Hanging out in the markets though, he finds out about this secret underwater treasure vault which is another of the things Emet-Selch shouted out as something to maybe check out when you get home, and the most recent apocalpyse mainly hitting Thavnair means there’s a lot of orphans and such who could use rebuilding money. Y’shtola comes along too because any weird unexplored secret area could be of some help in her current personal project, working out how to hop dimensions at will, both because it just seems cool to do, and because she misses the cat man she was shacked up with in the First.

So you head to the bottom of the ocean, fight some guardian constructs, reach a huge treasure vault, and it has both heaps of gold and some big ominous construct which turns out to have a small stable portal to the void inside. Oh and then Vrtra walks in and basically goes “hey guys, you’re uh.... not seriously breaking into my personal rainy day fund to rob me are you?” And uh, whoops? We also explains what’s up with the gate, and turns out that forever ago, during the backstory to that demons and air pirates raid after Heavensward, he had a big sister who charged straight on through a gate duing a big demon invasion to take the fight to their leader. I’m not really cool with us continuing to retroactively give Midgardsomnr more children we’d just never heard of so hopefully five is our final count? Anyway, he wanted to rescue her, which is the reason he made his weird little kid spy body to begin with, but figured it wasn’t worth the risk. Y’shtola is all about taking a field trip to hell, because hey, portals one can actually walk through open up to there all the time, and this was even a thing in the First with the offensive caster role quest. Vrtra has misgivings, being a responsible adult, but all you have to do is take those new warding scales we have all over to keep the protagonist from being the only one who can do most things, have Cid add some extra protective plating, research how to create an artificial version of a hell-mouth demon to absorb this stable portal and make it bigger, and in you go. Vrtra wants to come along personally and gets an upgraded version of his weird kid body that’s an adult with a worse voice actor because again, these days actually playing with other humans is strictly optional and you need a switch hitter tank/DPS to round things out. Oh and for some advanced scouting Y’shtola sends in some nixies she creates with a ritual she came up with when she was like 6 and is now deeply embarassed by.

Before we get into that though, we have some side quests to maybe deal with, and we are officially way overdue to check in on Hildibrand. After your last interaction where people got sucked through an interdimensional rift, Gilgamesh went off to do Gilgamesh things, and Hildy’s body got spit back out over in Thavnair somewhere, but he’s in a coma, so Nashu took him to a doctor. Doctors can’t fix souls being stuck in the First, which is clearly what’s happening here, so you just... rinse out that soul container you’re still carrying around and head off to grab him, and uh...

He’s fine, he just never ditched his ridiculous getup from the last time you saw him and has amnesia again. You apply the traditional cure of throwing big cartoon bombs at him and drag his soul home. There’s a bit of minor drama with Dr. Lugae’s sort of back from the dead form which ends with a big robot head in a jail cell, and then Hildy being kidnapped by a badly drawn alien in a crappy little UFO. You, Nashu and this conspiracy theorist crackpot you’re hanging out with head up to the moon to look at him, and find him... several times over. The little alien he met just kinda made a bunch of clones of him for fun. You deal with that, there’s more random shenanigans, his dad randomly shows up, as he’s wont to do, and messing around with the big stone face of mars type structure on the moon causes it’s mouth to open and this to happen.

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Apparently this was a big welcoming party thing they set up and nobody remembered to call it off when people didn’t end up needing to evacuate to the moon. Also Godbert’s here looking for meteors to combine with his own extra manly sweat as the base for this expansion’s obligatory set of ultimate weapons with a very involved side quest. Kind of him to share his terrifying power.

Meanwhile, there’s those twelve gods people theoretically worship that you’ve never had a chance to kill. That’s not right. The nerd squad and some random wandering bard type guy, along with another glasses wearing orc girl nerd end up investigating a mystery spot that takes you to a big secret floating island right over Mor Dhona which turns out to kinda basically be Mt. Olympus. When you show up to poke around, a decent swath of The Twelve pop out and insist you fight them. At first they fake you out with this whole bit about being bent on taking over the world given the new power vacuum but after you go smack them around they just pop up again and apologize for messing with your head. They swear up and down that no, really, they aren’t actually gods someone summoned who are parasitic and mind controlling and all that (but yeah Louisoix totally did someone some of those based on his ideas of them the one time), and don’t actually have any evil plans. They’re just chill party people and they want you to beat them up, for reasons they’re all kinda weirdly coy about. Given that they have freaking adorable little animal alt forms they might have the same basic thing going on as the auspices, the cute animals in a cave who need to be beaten up periodically to not go berserk from post-Stormblood. They’re very upbeat in any case.

Again, this chain is only two out of three 24 person dungeon raids in, time of writing, but they’re super friendly and after you’ve punched roughly 8 out of 12 in the face, a couple ask if you wouldn’t mind touring around with them, checking in on things, as they help the nerds research what their actual deal is more. Somewhere in here Halone, the goddess they worship in Ishgard, asks you for your honest opinion on what her worshipers are like these days and uh... you are diplomatic enough that the list of possible responses doesn’t include being REALLY honest. What with the calling everyone heretics and casting them into pits and waging holy wars against the dragons and all. She’s pretty disappointed in them.

Our other raid meanwhile involves heading into the past again to help some random Ascians deal with daddy issues and some security breaches at the incredibly haunted looking prison for really super dangerous monsters people make that for whatever reason people don’t just unmake. It... really isn’t grabbing me at all, because as I’ve said, they’ve only ever managed to make one Ascian even a little interesting as a character and I particularly can’t for the life of me be made to care about the tragic backstory of Lahabrea of all people. I will note that at one point you pretty much fight Dracula though, and at another point you fight the prehistoric megafauna version of carbuncle, the very pikachu-like starter the summoner class gets. Slightly less cute than the standard variation.

Also the current cliffhanger to all that involves the whole prison appearing in the present, which is less than ideal, but again, resolution to this currently on hold.

Oh and there’s also some sort of choose-your-own-adventure dungeon with 12 possible storylines I... really should have gotten around to before I sat down to write this, and a bit where Alpha and what’s left of Omega are exploring around as the latter continues to struggle with trying to work out the whole power of love and friendship thing. Mostly though, the real meat on the bone here is getting back to that field trip to hell, and a serious extension to Endwalker’s tribute to FF4.

You pop out at this big and honestly quite beautiful gothic castle with twisted and warped architecture just kinda floating in a big cloudy void, and start just kinda charging forward killing any demon who looks at you funny to secure the area, eventually reaching its master, which is... for some baffling reason a nod to Beatrix from FF9? But as soon as you take her down, in swoops another demon you immediately have to fight after he absorbs the big smoke cloudshe desolves into, the archfiend of earth, Scarmiglione, who yes, is the first in a series of four bosses we are going to fight in rapid succession, who are all serving a big super-powerful guy named Golbez, who I guess fairly appropriately swung by to seize power after the last time you were here and killed the final boss from FF3.

Having dealt with that, you just sort of have free reign of the place. There’s still various weird looking demons running around, but while it’s not particularly useful, they’ll talk to you rather than attack. Mostly begging you not to eat them and wondering what they’re going to do now that their mistress is gone. They do however point you to a smarter than average demon they have in the prison in the basement who Beatrice was planning to kill and eat later, who as you go down and let her out, recognizes you and asks if you’re Zenos’ friend.

OK look. You can’t just go and ask a thing like that. Especially not with Y’shtola standing right there, she is definitely the type to be too perceptive and never drop it. Not a conversation to really have in front of Estinien and his new boyfriend either for the matter. Turns out that when Zenos picked up that scythe, officially switching to the Reaper class, he bound his soul to this demon (that’s just what the class’ deal with, you get one too if you take it, proving you somehow learned absolutely nothing about giving random sketchy entities a space key to your soul after Shadowbringers), and ended up back here after he died. Which... is a little confusing to me. Like he DEFINITELY died, but that was at the end of Stormblood, before these two met. Before the credits rolled, the protagonist just had a knock down drag out fist fight with him, and I didn’t get the impression AT ALL that he got punched in the face hard enough to kill him. You could make some kind of argument about him just like burning himself out to get there or not having a way back or something but... there’s a nice cafe right there. Get rest up, get a sandwich and a coffee, show up for an awkward third date in another expansion or two. You don’t go to all that convoluted effort to bring this sick freak back and then give him an implied off camera death. Anyway, you clear up how you know her, and a big light crystal someone suggested you take along for elemental opposition purposes flashes and changes her to a less demonic form.

She’s pretty apathetic and doesn’t really recall a name she feels like giving you, so Y’shtola just decides to call her Zero, and apparently the developers claimed to be incredibly shocked when a huge chunk of the fanbase developed an instant crush on her. Which is about as plausible to me as when Capcom put out that press release about not wanting to see sexy doodles of the giant woman with the cool hat from RE8 and then proceeded to list her exact height and shoe size. Don’t go pretending to be surprised when people are into the badass futch slow to open up half-demon woman who acts tough but is secretly all caring and dresses like freaking Vampire Hunter D. We all see what you’re doing there! Anyway she has plenty of useful info but explains that all interactions here in the void are contract work with payment, generally in the form of draining aether out of each other. Also that the reason she looks human is that she hadn’t been born yet when everyone in the world started turning into demons because look for real she’s just female D here.

Anyway Scarmiglione, as is his deal from FF4, does not stay dead and jumps in with a second boss fight. He and his minions just keep coming back no matter how much you kill them, and Zero explains that yeah, death never sticks here. Now, I already knew that, it’s something I’ve been griping about this whole plot summary, but like, it’s an official canonical thing in the Void. The connection to the whole great aether flow/lifestream from FF7 deal is just broken like a lot of the laws of physics and general state of matter in the area, so when you die either another demon eats what’s left of you, getting stronger but then also having your soul and memories stuck in their head forever, or you just... come back from the dead after a bit, totally fine, at full HP even. She doesn’t actually say “full HP” but she comes weirdly close. So the only way to keep Scarmiglione down, since you not being demons can’t eat him, and she doesn’t want any jerks all bound to her soul like some kind of protagonist of this game, that just leaves her using her super cool ancient artifact scythe that kills you and converts you into a big magic crystal. But you know, gotta pay her first.

Anyway, the other deal with this place is the world’s kinda missing but if you’re sufficiently cool you get your own personally little castle on a floating rock and minions to boss around if you promise not to eat them. Zero invites you back to check hers out and see if any of the loser demons she lets live their if they promise not to start anything know anything useful about this missing dragon sister or this Golbez guy who’s apparently a real big shot she’s not personally familiar with. All the demons look like horrible evil things and they’re all just massive cowardly dorks and I kinda love it. There’s a mindflayer hiding out in a corner who’s all traumatized having gone in for one of those summoning deals and turns out it was just some real Hellraiser type psycho who wanted freaky bondage demon sex and knife play and just nope, nope nope, screw that, back to hell, never getting summoned again thanks!

Anyway on schedule, your next boss fight is Bayonetta. I mean Barbaccia. Or maybe I do mean Bayonetta because she totally has magic hair and halfway through the fight makes a skintight bodysuit out of it and starts making her hands and feat all super huge to smack you around.

After the fight you get one of those Echo flashbacks but all it tells you is Golbez doesn’t do face to face meetings so you still don’t know where to find him, but he does have our missing dragon, who still hasn’t become a demon because dragons are just tough like that. Except for the dragons you fought the first time you were here. OK elder wyrms are tough like that, OK? Anyway, Zero overexerted herself crystalizing Barb and a significant percentage of her mooks, and not really feeling cool leaving her unconscious with always hungry opportunistic demons around, you drag her back out with you. I appreciate how the whole party apologizes profusely for yanking her to another dimension without her consent, it is kind of a rude thing to do. In order to help her recover you bring her some apples, and she just goes “OK the deal was supposed to be that I take your aether directly, but, I guess this still works, holds her hand out, and drain’s an apple’s life force out.

And this of course leads into this whole “no no, eat it all regular, get the flavor” and her not really being impressed, and you giving her a tour around the place, and promising to take her home, and her just being “I literally don’t care about anything that isn’t basic survival, we’ve been over this. You wanna keep paying me in apples to help with your thing, sure, otherwise I’ll just sit around wherever.” But then you’ve got a whole thing with Cagnazzo getting conjured through by demon summoners Golbez has an in with in what’s left of the empire, Vrtra feeling his sister’s presence over there, which turns out to just be her eye, but it’s something, and generally dropping everything to run up that way. And while you’re distracted with that, Rubicante slips through the other portal and smashes it so you no longer have the upper hand on travel. Oh and I’m just kind of assuming you’re on a first name basis with the major bosses from FF4 here. If you aren’t go play FF4 already, it’s an absolute classic. But yeah, Italian names, elemental themes. Earth zombie, wind woman, water turtle-guy, fire flasher.

While you’re being distracted up in what’s left of them empire, because you know, they also brought a whole horde of demons around and the people who are survivng out there are just barely surviving, you run into the twins again. Alisaie is super jealous she didn’t get to go to hell. And you encourage Zero to socialize with the locals a little, figuring maybe she’ll get along better with depressed former nazis than socially functioning people. And she kinda does. Bonds with that jerk from the one cutscene I linked last time a little over buuz. Spicy mongolian dumplings. Imported from the steppe here, and the absolute food worship from Endwalker continues. It comes in a paper takeout bag too.

We’ve got hair misaligned textures on hair that clips through people’s collars in cutscenes all the time still, but we are pushing these graphics to the absolute cutting edge to tear apart cheeseburgers and spicy dumplings. Like most depressed goth women I know, Zero is super into spicy food. Damn it I’m hungry now. Anyway people get spread around, Zero feels obligated to fight off a big horde of demons alone to pay back that free buuz. Partway through the boss does the fairly standard trick of dropping rocks from the sky that you need to face tank before they hit the ground, but there’s too many dropping at once to solo so down she goes (I have the same problem trying to solo a couple otherwise easy old bosses, it’s annoying). And then of course everyone else shows up to the rescue, heals her, and has a proper fight where she learns the meaning of friendship via standard boss mechanics. We get more of the spread out and catch the rocks, and some of the “everybody run to the person with the crosshairs on her to split the damage of an attack that’d otherwise kill her” thing, and yeah, thanks to the combined impact of that and spicy dumplings, she comes around to the concept of doing good things for people without a contract. Again I much prefer this sort of stock sappy love and friendship crap to the grey morality political crap from the start of the game.

That just leaves confronting Rubicante to ask about what Golbez’ deal even is, and fight him. And you know, then fight Golbez when these patches finish releasing. Turns out his plan is actually really straightforward. Every single demon has been alive and literally living in hell since the very first time Ascians tried to recombine things and messed it up, most are all screwed up from absorbing the souls of a bunch of wimps they beat to death, and let’s be frank here, a lot of them have real messed up bodies like just a floating head, or big wad of goop with a ton of eyeballs. Many of them would largely like to come over here where death at least theoretically sticks sometimes and properly get to he afterlife. It’s pretty hard to object to that, except you know, they’re also all big horrible monsters with the uncontrollable urge to eat people and it’d probably cause one of those cataclysmic elemental imbalances and also these guys are jerks literally delivering body parts of a hostage. And of course this is all in a big post-boss fight speech before Rubicante kills himself all honorable warrior style, so first we have this big fight with a fun gimmick tracing lines across moving puzzle pieces, and while the other three had pretty standard renditions of either the normal boss theme or the theme of Golbez and pals, when this fight starts we get the unmistakable strings and drums from an all-time classic remix.

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No really. In one of the most impressive fan service moves of all time, they actually tracked down Hyadain for an official commission to use this remix. That’s just great even if they DID chicken out on the lyrics. Maybe later for one of those tell-this-bard-about-it remix fights with the whole set or something. As is here’s the version we actually have.

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Anyway we leave off with a challenge to come face Golbez on the moon. The uh, moon in the Void to be clear. Which presumably has a nice Lunar Subterrane tribute going on. And past that, I don’t know. It certainly feels like we’re setting up dimension hopping for the next expansion, but if I stopped this far into the interlude after Heavensward I’d have thought we’d be going directly into Shadowbringers. This might resolve and then the last patch sets up some completely different thing. All I know is I’m not going to care about the whole Ascian prison raid, I don’t expect a real shocking twist to fighting the rest of the Twelve, and wow between Fray, Sadu, Gaia, Y’shtola’s class-change look, and Zero here, it is VERY clear the current head writer has a Type.

Short of double checking the last 10 levels of the few job quest lines I haven’t done for interesting bits, I have nothing left to sum up, at least until there’s another expansion to this. If you enjoyed all this though, again, money so I can survive would really be appreciated. I also have a wishlist of mostly games I’ll likely have thoughts on when I get to them. And if you somehow found this blog without seeing it, you might enjoy my also rather extensive multipart essay from a few years back about how Ranma, the character, is in fact trans, on top of the magic gender change stuff.

Past that, not sure what my next big project is going to be. Might get back to Twitch streaming, or just focus on this browser game I’ve been working on for a while. I have honestly enjoyed playing FF14 a hell of a lot more than most recent entries in the series and definitely more than any other MMO, so I could MAYBE be convinced to see what’s up with 11 if I can work out how to without costing me a ton of money and time I really don’t have? We’ll see.

#final fantasy 14 #ff14 #final fantasy xiv #ffxiv #it was legit tempting to skip this and just end on that last part's note #will this renewed interest in hyadain remixes finally give us wood man and air man?

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robynrileyart · 1 year

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i was messing around with this stupid oc meme i found but then realised as i was going to save it that this is the first file going into my 2023 art folder....... bit embarrassed....... but moving on:

DIES FIRST: albert (thinks he can handle the killer on his own but he can't). annie (does something so stupid and the audience hate her). henry (does something so stupid and the audience hates him). maxim (dies before horror movie plot starts........ suspiciously).

DIES PROTECTING OTHERS: john (happens late in the movie, everyone cries). hank (we all knew he was too sweet and would get himself killed trying to help). laura (does something so stupid and the audience loves her). valens (a side character 5 people in the whole fandom hyperfixate on but everyone else forgot exists immediately after he is off-screen).

SURVIVES BY SKILL: bastian (nobody is remotely surprised, fan favourite, spends the whole movie sad about his wife (laura) dying). georgie (extremely badass, the girls and gays adore him. the straights fear him). nix (super annoying jesus christ, but he's good and he's only annoying because he doesn't like your favourite character and not bc he's ACTUALLY annoying). cal (does nothing by halves, gets into so many situations she shouldn't walk away from but does anyway).

SURVIVES BY LUCK: lily (she had promising skill but ultimately it's luck that she lives). dione (THINKS she's got promising skill but she's only average but it doesnt matter because she is surrounded at all times by people who love her and protect her with their lives). eddie (you thought i was going to let eddie die? think again!). rosie (i cant kill rosie either!?!?!?!)

KILLS THE KILLER: sof & hector (they team up to become an ultra dream team and hector spends the whole time thinking "my god sof could so easily have been the killer. she could've woken up wrong that day and just started butchering. i am glad to be on her good side" and sof doesn't think about him at all, tho occasionally uses him as a human shield)

IS THE KILLER: enyo & honoria (honoria has plans to take over the world and enyo wanted in. enyo is like the evil witch in the background. she and hector have another fight to the death to the death to the death (they're both immortal so just keep respawning and starting again). enyo eventually gives up when she realises it's all over, and honoria dies at the end of the movie. hector will let enyo go and the audience will hate him for it)

THAT SIDE CHARACTER 10 MINUTES INTO THE MOVIE THAT WARNS THE PROTAGS TO STAY AWAY: casper (i had to include him somewhere. his cameo makes exactly four people (whom i can name) yell "NOT HIM AGAIN" and then he never shows up again. we create fan theories about what he got up to while staying out of the plot at all)

#ocs #art meme #i had too much fun with this HAHAH #laura dying ..... sorry girl xx #dione are you glad i FINALLY remembered your name SJDHSJDHJSHD #all of hectors ex wives and husbands in the same room with his gym buddy (sof)#georgie and eddie would immediately love each other like we're talking besties we're talking exchanging stories #they are best friends #dione is not as nice honestly and probably would be super jealous JSHDJSHDJH #omfg i just remembered i wrote a WHOLE reincarnation short story about hector meet dione again and she's actually nice.........#so maybe they would all get along............#lily would be so in awe of laura the whole time #laura not doing anything standing there awkward as HELL:#lily: she's the coolest person i've ever met #cal falls instantly in line with bastian and laura also they're all just immediately besties #nix is a loner shows up sometimes #maxim is actually also in the honoria pic ........ not doing so well SJDHSJHDJHSD

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theninjazebra · 9 months

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As someone who has watched too much tv for a long time i thought i should share with the group.

TV recs for the upcoming drought:

Some of these are harder to find, the tone and quality vary wildly, they're in no specific order. I tried for not too obscure, but not too obvious. Some are still airing, some are 20 yrs old. I swear I have a life.

Slings and Arrows. Early 2000s Canadian dramedy about theatre and shakespear. Fun without being shallow, aged ok, lovely performances, great writing. nuclear grade comfort watching.

Halt and Catch Fire. 2014 - 2017, US drama. Follows four characters through the 80s tech industry. First time I got the hype around Lee Pace. S1 is ok, but nothing special, s2 is a lot more interesting but kinda goes round in a circle. S3 and 4 and some of the best tv I've ever seen.

Somebody Somewhere. This is actually a new show, but has 2 seasons out if u want a gentle but never shallow comedy. Fills my sad gay heart with joy. And if want more new tv with middle aged gays Deadloch is streaming on amazon atm.

The Expanse. Finished recently. The sci fi I've always wanted. Big and scary and wonderful and pew pew pew space battles and adventure. Balances the grim with a surprising amount of hope? Has repeated themes of redemption. Also a whole book series should u need more.

This Is England. UK drama. A film and 3 mini series set from 1983 through to 1990. Grim, sad af, also funnyand sweet? And characters that I love. The start of my undying love for Vicky McClure. Big ol CW for violence, sexual violence, and era specific racism (esp the first film). Very good, but very hard tv.

Kingdom. 2014. Can be a pain to find because so many shows are called Kingdom. About MMA fighters having drama. Also families, mental health, addiction, etc. Excellent performances. Both a very dumb and very sweet, painful show.

Animal Kingdom. Legit only watched it because I was searched Kingdom posts and AK was out around the same time. Awful family having drama and heists. Adaptation of an Aussie film into a southern California TV show. Kind of a mess? but very compelling mess.

Obligatory Succession (Kardashians for annoying people, aka me. I am the annoying person. this is my perfect tv show), The Bear, (hospo stress and family grief show) and Severance (people talk about workplace horror, but tbh it also gives big mega church horror vibes too)- new shows that live up to the hype, esp if you like sad people. I don't think they really need recs, but i really liked them.

The Thick of It. 2000s UK political comedy? Tragedy? Though these days it looking fuckin utopian compared to UK politics now. Feels a bit like a partial villain origin story for Succession. I like how sad and broken hearted it is.

Outrageous Fortune. 2000s nz dramedy that is the source of my love of family crime drama. Aged badly in places, but still very good character drama. Also, for The Boys fans, Antony Starr at his absolute best. It's a big nostalgia fest for me now. Cheryl West is a forever fav.

Justified. 2010 - 2016ish. i'm lazy i'm not looking stuff up. Yes a cop show, yes a dad show, but also rock solid tv writing and timothy olyphant in a hat. I've watched it so many times, and every time it rewards. and yes, am watching Justified City Primeval atm.

White Collar. A dumb, total fantasy art crimes and capers show. Shit, but if you need to not think and also have Matt Bomer do a shirtless painting montage for vague plot reasons then oh boy there is no other.

Being Human UK. A ghost, a vampire and a werewolf share a flat. it's sweet and agonising and 10+ years later I still love these characters so much.

Legion. 2017 - 2019. Why make tv comic adaptations that are trying for realistic and boring? When they could all be like this? Why make anything that isn't as visually interesting as this?

Doom Patrol - same for doom patrol - superhero tv that cut out the boring bits and just went for the weird and painful. I read a couple of random doom patrols years ago and was so surprised and delighted and loved them. the tv show has the same effect.

The Boys. new, and still going, as far as I know. but two kiwi leads means under nz law i have to be a fan? also it's awful, pulpy vicious popcorn viewing. appeals to the shithead 12 yr old in me. yes, it's vicious anti corporate thing is deeply ironic for an amazon show, but considering amazon saved the expanse with no sense of irony at all I figure take all their money and keep yelling.

Preacher. Another comics adaption. The Boy's weirder, less obscene, more disturbing cousin. Tulip is another forever fav tv character.

Banshee. Continuing the tradition of heth and i starting dumb Dude TV and then getting overly attached. kinda pulpy trash, but if you can stomach the violence it's surprisingly good.

All Star Treks. I love them so much. They're so weird, and uneven, and dumb, and they're all the best and I love them.

One season wonders -

Trust. about the John Paul Getty III kidnapping. also about italian countryside.

State of Play. UK. the tv show, not the film.

I dunno. I could do a whole separate post for sit coms and brit coms and the weirder, more obscure shows and movies, but ffs this is so long.

#tv recs #see my justification is that i can draw while watching #this is my list so i doubt everything on it would appeal to anyone else #but some of it might #i fuckin love me some dramedy #i have a lot of thoughts and feelings about tv #as a medium and it's role in my weird life

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gillianthecat · 2 years

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Ok, I think To Sir, With Love might actually be good? Like, beneath the soap opera surface the plot is surprisingly well structured and coherent (at least so far). And it's touching on a lot of real life world issues around gender and queerness and war, and allowing the characters to be complex below the comedy.

The actors are all great, the characters are funny when they're supposed to be but underneath it all somehow all feel like real people. Even the broadest villains do. The main characters and relationships are surprisingly nuanced. I'm intrigued by both budding romances, the gay one and the straight one. Even the cinematography and editing are exceeding what I thought they would be.

I'm getting excited to see where this show is going because it's starting to feel like it's actually going somewhere on purpose, not just meandering through melodrama. It might end up being somewhere tragic (see: 1940's homophobia. plus wartime occupation), but I'm still interested.

idk, maybe my expectations were too low for a "soap opera" and I shouldn't be surprised by this. Or maybe I'm imagining things and this will turn out to be a mess. But at the moment I'm impressed.

I'm only 20 minutes in to episode three, so we'll see how it goes.

#to sir with love #khun chai #to sir with love ep 3 #to sir with love the series #gillianthecat reacts to bl

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buck-yyyy · 2 years

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okay okay i know i talk a lot about byler but here's how i wanted the supernatural ending of stranger things v2 to go

i'm actually really proud of this ngl- (and yes i know this wouldn't leave much room for season five. shut up i still like it)

the main party confronts vecna while everyone else is.. idk they're somewhere, i haven't thought THAT much about this.

vecna is up on a hill in the upside down (running up that hill yk) while the party is at the bottom, in a V shape that is headed by el

vecna has his monologue moment, he extends his final offer for her to join him, el shuts him down

vecna says smth like "then you asked for this", el turns around

all five kids are staring blankly ahead, in a trance.

vecna has now become so powerful that he can have five people in a trance and STILL be present in the moment to battle it out. oh fuck moment.

cue dramatic music (i've now decided that it's the running up that hill epic version after seeing that scene in v2)

camera focuses on el. she is lined up with vecna. insert cinematographic parallel for how they could have been the same, but their distance shows that she chose to be different.

el now has only a few minutes to defeat vecna before her five closest friends die. EXTREME STAKES.

she sticks her hand out and does the thing. as her and vecna battle it out, which is somehow made visually interesting, it cuts in and out of the battle scene to show what each party member is seeing.

we get more info on will's relationship with lonnie. we see how lonnie's abuse shaped will's interpretation of his sexuality.

we get even more insight into max's trauma from billy's abuse, maybe see some stuff about her dad.

(eddie stans im sorry but he still died in this version) we see how eddie's death affected dustin, how important eddie was to him. maybe vecna warps old memories of eddie in order to further mess with his head.

we see the stuff from lucas on the line- how he's dealt with casual racism his entire life, and all the shit from the basketball team. we see his guilt for bringing max into all of this back in s2, now that max is in danger and he likely blames himself.

and last but not least, we see mike's internalized homophobia. we see troy and james, we see ted, we see everything. the general audience is allowed an understanding of comphet and why mike is in a relationship with el even though he's now realized that he might be gay. we see his fear and hatred towards that part of himself.

back to the main battle. a shot from behind. the party has now risen into the air. we see el through the gaps as she struggles to fight.

el defeats vecna, but in the process, she loses her powers. maybe she had to overload him somehow and transfered all her power/the energy that sources it into him to destroy him. idk, i just want her to lose her powers.

everyone drops to the ground, including el. group hug, lots of sobbing.

now for the other stuff outside of the main battle.

we see the ENTIRE party mourning eddie- especially mike.

mutual m!leven breakup. it's beautiful in a way, and they're both better off for it.

mike starts to be slightly more open about his feelings for will, hinting a byler set up for season five.

el is much more accepting of her lack of powers than at the end of s3. throughout the course of s4, she's learned that she doesn't need her powers to be loved and appreciated. SELF ACCEPTANCE ARC- COMPLETE!!!

so yeah- that's what i was hoping to come out of season four with. it obviously didn't happen, but i really was dreaming of a ton of people getting vecna'd at once- i thought (and still think) it would be super cool, both visually and as it related to the plot. big fan <33

but i'd love to hear your thoughts, both about what i wrote here and what you guys thought would happen in volume two!

#stranger things #byler

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rosesradio · 2 years

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i find it so weird how there weren't any rj shippers plotting for ej to get with ricky (who is BARELY his friend. you could even argue that carlos, who couldn't stand ricky in season 1, is a closer friend to ricky), but the SECOND that ricky ends up with gina, you suddenly keep pushing for rj. not because you actually care about gay male representation because you know damn well you have 0 posts about seblos. but because you're mad that gina isn't falling at her feet for your geriatric fave.

ok. this made me laugh gotta admit

were you not, like, there for the start of s3? caswen shippers were going crazy for what we got, myself included even though i like portwell.

yeah, i think carlos is a better friend to ricky given the circumstances, but yk. the show’s a mess, we all know ricky and ej’s relationship is super inconsistent, which is why it’s fun to think of different ways it can go.

also, if you’ve been looking at my hsmtmts posts (which you clearly have ❤️) you’ll see that i’ve actually been coming around to rina. i haven’t been trying to plot a scheme to get ricky and ej together, i actually want a main couple to stay together for once. even ricky/gina. i’m happy for the shippers…the nice ones, anyway

(besides, even if i was pushing caswen…who cares? it’s a fictional show about a high school drama club…👀)

and yes, i don’t have a lot of seblos on my blog. you know what else i don’t have? redlyn, or any other side ship. they don’t necessarily peak my interest, i think the way that the show portrays them is good and i like them. i don’t typically care for canon ships unless they peak my interest, so if you want to see a seblos blog, follow a seblos blog, there’s plenty of great ones out there.

what i will not stand for is the claim that i do not care about representation. i am queer, non-binary, and asexual. what part of that could possibly mean i don’t care about representation? growing up—since i am the geriatric age of 19, so i’ve been around since the Stone Age—i barely saw any representation in media as a kid, and the stuff i did was played for laughs or made queer people out to be stereotypes. only in this past year did i see non-binary and asexual representation, one in the form of an alien (yes i’m talking about zombies 3 i saw it for my geriatric fave matt cornett 😩) and one in the form of a beloved 1 minute scene in sex education (great show btw)

that being said, i root for all representation. i read books and watch shows containing identities i don’t yet understand because i am comforted by the fact that somewhere out there, the people who need this representation have it now. it’s all been very recent and i am very grateful.

so to say i don’t care about representation based on content (or the lackthereof) of one ship in one show that i do like…that misinterprets a fraction of my identity and my beliefs that is very important to me, and it’s a bold but immature take.

i think i’ve said all i need to say. you can be friendly and respectfully disagree, or you can get off my blog.

#sigh #to say 18 is geriatric (he’s only a year—or 6 months—older than ricky!) sure is. a take.#but tbh my back and knee pain is nothing to sneeze at 👴#i don’t typically respond to anon hate but you made Some Points here that were really…something 🤡#rose’s asks #hsmtmts

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am-artist · 2 years

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the wilds recap review s2 e6

making me look at gretchen playing candy crush is a war crime i do not care about her loss of control plot everyone involved in her operation is a moron & the inevitable splintering is not interesting

yay ivan content. glad he has someone back home. i hope he has a storyline beyond this tho. esp w the social media addiction thing.

leah & rachel always fun. glad they’re having real talks even briefly.

ivan is a great talker bc he always sounds like hes delivering theatre lines. ‘smite’. love that.

i feel for him bc he always has to decide whether to shut his mouth at the expense of his principles or speak up and be labeled the woke buzzkill, but his integrity even in the dire situation they’re all in is admirable.

smh kirin your nun joke was not good enough to justify cutting henry’s climate change tirade off fuck you

ivan and kirin have ironically similar flaws in assuming they know whats best for people / that their big picture is more impt than other people’s discomfort. thinking abt this re josh’s situation. but also apparently re ivans boyfriend & the social media stuff. altho naturally ivans big picture is one of fighting intolerance on many exhausting fronts and kirins is more thoughtless big man masculinity.

kirin is doing carly rae jepsen covers im sorry ik this is meant to be a homoerotic vaguely homophobic mess this man is clearly on gay twitter somewhere.

the guys just blindly hunting seth down… in character. kirin and ivan both being intensely stubborn about this… also in character. the way they handle it… bad

oh josh… fucking great role model kirin thanks for that. not that i dont support kicking the shit out of the guy who assaulted you but i would have really liked for josh not to take the lesson of masculine dominance bullshit from this bc it is just going to eat him up further in the long run.

rachel is so fucking cute!!

fatin and leah have such inherent friction. fun.

i like the divisions in the boy group ig. for all the posturing most of them are very uncomfortable w the violence kirin is selling as the one answer. and ivan knowing very clearly that things are unravelling but not sure in what direction to move is very understandable.

kirins obv going to have some deep backstory w the blackface coach which is an annoying way for things to go.

i somehow forgot/missed it had been ten days since the exile! def recontextualises the whole thing.

seth’s reaction makes this whole thing so much worse. if he could just be wracked with guilt instead of faking innocence or idk it wouldnt be so gratingly unpleasant to deal with. but hes so caught up in his perception of himself as nice guy that hes in denial and wants to reaffirm this false reality rather than own up to it.

toni and martha <3 glad toni gets her non-shelby gf plotlines too.

the guy camp splitting it up is such a mess. josh is entitled to feel whatever he wants but kirin domineering over the group w his black and white posturing mindset means they cant even have a proper convo about the implications of the constant exiling. does any of them actually want to condemn seth to die? even if they do, what about raf? if they just managed to talk about it they would be able to find some compromise but instead the group will keep fissuring forever.

ivan and kirin’s pre island storyline is interesting but (similar qualms as in season 1) i dont love the optics of the gay black kid being framed as the ‘bullying’ force in this situation etc etc idk just the way it’s done feels weird to me. i know they have luc as the contrast guy but i just think they could have set things up with some more grace... i wonder what the writer’s room looked like.

henry </33. i love that he talks to ivan about it tho.

i do enjoy kirin and ivan talking always. i just wish they could put their little heads together and make things work bc theyd run a pretty decent ship if they did.

martha <///3. i do love that they show her finally having some breakthrough conflict with the constant hunting. & i love that toni just holds her when they find her, despite the brutal rabbit murdering.

sidenote: leah’s turmoils are so hard to watch bc she is in fact right in her suspicions but she feels insane.

#the wilds #the wilds s2 #the wilds spoilers #i hope we get more henry next ep #and bo and scotty’s feelings abt the whole sitch

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glngrbred · 5 months

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LAZERHAWK IS ASS DUDE (Review from a grimdark apologist)

IK that those are some fighting words, but in a "few" sentances.

first off, this show is not worth your time. now, onto the potatos and shit

Grimdark mess that is purely self indulgent doomerism about omg wouldn't that suck, haha corporations bad, very cheap and obviouse "Twists* eyeroll level fanfic edgyness from Hawk**. representation that is, yes, better than having nothing BUT

More shows to be added later on the diagram

As the Gay representation Ven Diagram clearly shows, though Lazerhawk Allows it's characters to (occasionally) be happy, and be in Lead not Gay BFF roles, It fails to give these [characters fears, desires, relationship webs, or the necissary interests]*** to let us beleive that they are a real person. and therefor it fails at representing queer characters equally with its other characters.

However, something that is actually hillariouse, is LazerHawk forgets to do any sort of characterization to basically anyone OTHER THAN JADE! WHO THEY KILL IMIDIATELY???? even then, it still is inadequit in my opinion, as having characters merely interact for 2 seconds in a tv show is all you need for the basis of a relationship to form. Case in point, the bear, Fack and Sydney interact, once, maybe and that builds their entire relationship for the first season. you can easilly fit some type of effective relationship into your people with 2 lines of diolouge, with sara you could easily have had her not just be the skyrim NPC that gives you a quest by having her introduced earlier, having a reference to her somewhere to set up this character (Like Nimona's villains) or give her 1 meaningful relationship somewhere early. But Laserhawk instead spends 3 whole episode of filler to info dump grimdark worldbuilding instead of just making an effort in characterizing Hawk or Sara. you have another season to worldbuild, it takes 2 seconds to write characters, but all of the budget of this show was apearently spent making that gross pixelated rotoscope. So yeah, /rant over on the topic of character writing

*(sara turns evil 4 times or smthn. everyone who gets a staring roll in an episode is then set up to die, immidiately),

**(ther's a place for that type of character, but it stops working when there's nothing else in there besides exposition dumps. )

***( occaisionally not all listed are needed for beleivable likable hot gay guys.)

The show is a grimdark mess that can't help but try and make you take it seriously, so the writers rely on absurd plot twists that pile up into a mess of a narrative that fails to accurately depict a grimdark cyberpunk future.

The over reliance on character death isn't a problem at first glance, but once the cast is whittled down to 3 poorly developed and frankly 2 dimensional anti heros and villains (Ramon, Sara, Lazerhawk) The awful character writing really starts to show, and the freudian backstories become this uneccissary excuse for the writing wich frankly makes each character seem worse, and worse, and worse, until sara is UWU brainwashed villain who is a good liar (as in the show doesn't even try to depict manipulation and instead just doesn't even attempt to depict a manipulative character) Ramon is just fucking digital circus meme and crazy faild actor. 2 very easy tropes. And lazerhawk is sad boi who want vengance :(

there is no functional characterization that happens in this show, and it just makes what should be high impact deaths seem cheap, and the saving of other characters seem dull.

the fight scenes are pretty good though, and the varrying art styles are (mostly) good. The pixelated rotoscoping of the actors is frankly lazy and clearly just greenscreen through a filter. and for a show with this huge of a budget wich already attempts 3d integration it falls flat and makes episodes 4-6 (subjective) unwatchable for me.

Also just generally, I'm sick of grimdark, it's this mess of wannabe popular shows that just want to be cool to all the marvel fan general public guys who wanna get popular fast like a second GoT success story.

Review of show

writing 1/10. Poorly executed wannabe grimdark that thinks breaking tension is constituted by frog saying Juice or gay hotties kissing. insulting execution of this horrid attempt at representing genocide that makes me sick. infantalizes and removes agency from anyone who isnt a dominant culture hoe or MC. feels very, very individualist in they want everyone to feel like they're lazerhawk or they won't relate to our world. basically turning Hawk into a blank slate whose only character trate is pining after Alex.

animation 10/10. Amazing, only reason to watch this show besides the memes

visuals 5/10. Animation =/= visuals, and the actual editing, lighting "use" (they dont try, wont elaborate if you don't know what I mean), and character designs generally suck Frog and ramon good, everyone else feels like a cyberpunk trope

action 6/10. Mostly good, but after the~3rd moment where some fast MC runs around real fast it feels samey. carried by the amazing animation

Garbage show, just watch arcane again. Or like, Bee and puppycat after Ep.3

Final note YOU DONT NEED TO SEE THIS RANT

, Grimdark is a wonderful storytelling -tool- that can help explore worlds and societal structures and draw parralels to our own one. It is NOT HOWEVER A FUCKING SETTING???? LIKE NO? scifi DOOMER SHIT isn't THE POINT OF GRIMDARK IM GOING TO GO INSANE IF I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS EVER. GRIMDARK. IS. NOT. A. SETTING. ITS A TOOL THAT IS USED POORLY OVER AND OVER AGAIN TO JUSTIFY BAD WRITING, BECAUSE "oh they sad because they live in bad place and time :( they dont have other feelings or motives :( they are only worthy of our engagement if they rebel :(" LIKE NO? THATS JUST BAD WRITING NOT SOME EDGY COOL THING????

grimdark, my beloved, you graced us with the worlds of (not) bladerunner and (not) Warhammer 40k and (also not) snowpeircer, but you sure as hell enterd the zeitgeist after people missunderstood the ENTIRE POINT OF YOU AS A WRITING FEATURE AND TURNED IT INTO AN EXTENTION OF CYBERPUNK DOOMER CLUBZ.

cincerely, someone who thinks people in midevil times, probably loved eachother, an lived happy, insular lives, and that NOT EVERY FUCKING THING HAS TO BE EDGY JUST BECAUSE ITS COOL AND IN A WORLD THAT SUCKS? if we applied that logic to everyday modern day hell we should've all caught the bus a LOOOOONG time ago, but noooo we are still here, thriving. and people in grimdark worlds should to. '

if you like grimdark, props to you for suffering through the manotiny of this reverse escapism that doesnt even try to make you think anymore. Also, if you play warhammer, you probably aren't a notZ but don't come here using slurs if you are, its tumblr. not X

#captain laserhawk #tv #tv shows #tv series #movies #mini essay #grimdark #writing #writers on tumblr #movie review #rant post #ranting

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