#it being the dawn of the renaissance kinda works

[raspberriesandstrawberries]

#The Golden Rose #Alain #Ysabella #my art #Fanart #It took my a while to decide what era I wanted to pull from fashion wise #Like I know that the golden rose isn't historically accurate at all but it is still meant to be vaguely medieval #and I'm a nerd so #I eventually decided to take inspiration from the quattrocento (with many liberties taken) #because technologically the story seems kind of 15th century #what with the plate armour and galleons #and yes the 15th century is late medieval/early renaissance but given the story is about recovering lost ancient knowledge #it being the dawn of the renaissance kinda works #plus quattrocento fashion is pretty so there's that #There are other reasons too but I'm going to stop rambling in the tags now

[hyperactivewhore]

I despise both Renesmee Cullen's and Hope Mikaelson's existences. Both characters are plot holes and shouldn't exist.

Renesmee Carlie Cullen is the daughter of Bella Swan and Edward Cullen. She's half-human and half-vampire, and in Twilight, it was explained that only male vampires can have children with female humans. But that doesn't make any sense because vampires in Twilight don't have any blood in their bodies. Then, Stephanie Meyer explained that the venom that is in their bodies works similarly to the bodily fluids that are in humans. But if that was the case, then Bella shouldn't have gotten pregnant. She should have become a vampire after having sex with Edward. Renesmee is called 'half mortal and half immortal' by Aro, but how can a person be half mortal and half immortal? She's either mortal or immortal. She can't be both. Does she age, or does she not? Can she live forever, or does she have the lifespan of a human?

Now, onto Hope.

Hope Andrea Mikaelson is the daughter of Klaus Mikaelson and Hayley Marshall-Kenner. She's a werewolf, vampire, witch tribrid. In the pilot episode of The Originals, it was explained that since Klaus was born a werewolf and became a vampire because of magic and not by drinking the blood of another vampire and dying with that vampire's blood in his system, he was able to conceive. Vampires in The Vampire Diaries are infertile and can not have children, and while Klaus is the world's first werewolf-vampire hybrid, he's still part vampire. He shouldn't have been able to have a child, which was confirmed in Legacies. The only reason Hope exists is because Malivore. So, if Malivore never existed, Hope would have never existed. She wasn't born because her father was created differently from traditional vampires, but because it is her destiny to defeat a mud monster.

Both characters are great (more so Hope because she was given her own show, and I grew to like her over Legacies' 4 season run. Renesmee was kinda there. Her CGI in the movies creeped me out, and she absolutely did nothing in the book), but their existence goes against the canons of their respective movies/books and show.

It's funny because both are created as plot devices to Bella and Klaus and they're meant to be the magical powerful baby of their universe, but their existence alone just makes it look ridiculous by breaking every single canon law.

As you said, Renaissance came out of nowhere. She was soo incredibly intelligent from the very first moment her parents made her, but apparently not smart enough to control her own strength seeing she broke several Bella's bones (like honestly, what the hell) and this demon spawn craved human blood for absolutely no logical reason other than Edward being a vampire. Ratatouille also could not be seen in the ultrasound or any other thing: she had a impenetrable amniotic sac because yes, exactly, her daddy is a vampire!

Honestly, I kinda feel bad for Ravioli. I've never finished reading Breaking Dawn (and I won't), it was such a corny book and I could only bring myself to the third part, where Bella spends time with baby Rasputin but I've heard interesting things to how the Cullen rise this sim. Apparently, Bella and Edward couldn't care less about their daughter, because as always they were more obssesed with each other and Rosalie did all the parenting, because the love birds couldn't be distracted with their CGI spawn. If I'm correct, Edward even called Bella more beautiful than Rim Job right in her face and instead of being mad, because their kid was right there, Isabella was just like "gosh edward, ily sm 😘😜😍"

Parents of the year.

Stephenie Meyer didn't care about Bella and Edward being parents: she just wanted the aesthetic that came with it, and she pulled the reasons of the human-vampire pregnancy out of her ass.

Actually, when I was in my twilight phase, I read a fanfic where Bella got pregnant, and the reason was a little more "coherent" than what Meyer gave: Having died so young, Edward's body "froze" his sperm and because he had remained a virgin for over a hundred years (lmao), he was able to get Bella, the first and only woman he slept with, pregnant. It's still shitty, and bad, but if they wanted them so badly to have a kid this was a better reason.

I just can't take Twilight books seriously. Apparently, there are no black vampires for a barely explained reason that is clearly racist (if I remember, the venom that vampires inject you during death just... removes your skin color), the mistreatment to the werewolves is just terrible, and there's Ratatunga too.

Now, moving to Hope Andrea Mikaelson, the white witch that is hated and loved in equal measures by the fandom. Oh my, this is gonna be interesting.

I have my moments with Hope, to be honest. Sometimes I completely adore her, and sometimes I just can't stand her. Her existence was completely pulled out of Pl*c's ass, who wanted to have her own version of Renameme so badly. Klaus shouldn't have even been able to procreate in the first place, because he was killed before Esther binded his werewolf side. Though vampires in tvd are more alive than dead, but that's a whole different thing. But clearly my point still remains.

I like Hope Mikaelson a lot more than Ragnarok Cullen, Summer Fontana/Danielle Russell and Mackenzie Foy are all really amazing and beautiful actresses who did great with the role they were given, but their characters completely broke canon. I like the tribrid more though because at least, she wasn't a fucking sim that aged five years in a week unlike Nestlé. The only way I could ever like Radioactive is by having her completely loathe her parents and family, especially because she was born in 2006 aka she's part of Gen Z.

Both characters shouldn't even exist in the first place, and Hope's existences is as much of a plothole as Riptide's. Renesmee gets more hate simply because of how she was in the womb and also because of how fast she grew, but they're both plotholes and shouldn't have been created no matter their popularity.

#I had so much fun with ravioli's nicknames 🤭 #i still adore hope #but hmm #renesmee cullen #edward cullen #bella swan #bella cullen #rosalie hale #rosalie cullen #bella x edward #klaus mikaelson #hope mikaelson #twilight #the originals #the vampire diaries #tvd #to

[starthelostboys]

okay so my top five least favorite vampire movies

fright night (1985): honestly, i think this movie is just kinda mediocre even though the premise is very fun. i love “kid finds out that vampires exist and tries to protect themself/warn others” plots, but according to wikipedia the main character in this movie is 17 which is too old to be doing that plot. i also don’t like the romance (if you can even call it that?) between chris sarandon and the main character’s girlfriend. she’s 17, it’s gross that she’s being pursued by a man in his 40s. this plotline could’ve been removed from the movie entirely, and it would’ve been better for it.

rockula (1990): rockula’s biggest crime is that it’s boring. there’s so many elements that could’ve made this movie really unique and fun, but it all kinda falls flat and ends up feeling less like a movie and more like a series of music videos. there’s a lot of elements to the movie that are good on their own (the main character’s mom, the way they just make up new vampire lore, a lot of the songs are fun) but together it’s kind of a mess.

near dark (1987): i really wanted to like this movie. the concept of cowboy/western vampires is so fun, and not something i’ve seen done anywhere else. and while there IS a lot to like about this movie, the pacing made it feel like it went on forever. also, i personally can’t get past the one vampire who was a confederate soldier. it really soured the whole movie for me, since he’s there in like, all the vampire scenes so you can’t really enjoy them.

twilight breaking dawn part 1 (2011): honestly, this spot is just kind of every twilight movie, but breaking dawn part 1 is the one that i stopped watching after like, 30 minutes. overall the twilight franchise is just awful, it’s steeped in racism and unhealthy relationships, and combined with the shitty writing creates a thoroughly un-enjoyable movie series. also kristen stewart’s acting is just terrible, i know she’s been having a bit of a renaissance lately but she does the same performance in like every movie i’ve ever seen her in so i don’t really get the hype.

interview with the vampire (1994): so, this movie is most likely the worst movie i’ve ever seen. i went into it knowing i probably wouldn’t like it (i don’t like old timey vampire stuff), but i wasn’t expecting to see so much racism and pedophilia, especially from a movie as beloved as interview with the vampire. @americanphysco does a great job explaining the racist elements of the movie here and here, and i’ll direct people to that so this post isn’t extremely long. what i WILL talk about here is the gross, borderline romantic relationship that claudia has with louis and lestat. it’s gross that she (a child), is experiencing some sort of romantic feelings towards her father figures, and the movie never even examines that critically. i’m sure the idea of a vampire trapped in a child’s body who after several decades is now somewhere between a child and an adult works a lot better in a book, but they still used a child actress (kirsten dunst, who was only 12 at the time) and had her kiss one of her adult costars. to me, that’s inexcusable, no matter what the complexities of the fictional relationship they’re portraying are. also, you can really tell that anne rice isn’t a screenwriter, because this movie relies so heavily on narration that it’s almost distracting.

#this list is from least hated to most hated #if you couldn't tell by my explanations lmao #kate's bad takes

[strikethematch18]

Dadzawa x F! Reader - Over Worked & Tired Part 1

It was now reaching the hour of at least 3 in the morning in Japan and you still hadn’t finished your paper proposal that you have been working on for hours on end. It certainly didn’t help that it was weeks overdue with only a few days until the end of the semester for your college courses back in America. 

You’re an American based student attending U.A. High, but also completing your bachelor’s degree at a college back in the states. Highly intelligent, as you were a member of Class 3-A and still in high school but only have one more semester until you finish your B.A. in English, about the same time you would graduate high school. Unfortunately, the time difference between the US and Japan has screwed with you reaching deadlines and a symptom of overusing your quirk is a lack of focus, something that you didn’t even tell your homeroom teacher, Mr. Aizawa. You were determined this was something you could do on your own.

Lately, you’ve been feeling like you have something to prove, almost like you’re somehow less than your peers as if your quirk wasn’t as useful or not powerful enough. As if your instant ability to feel empathy and affect emotions as well as being trained in formal combat in a similar fashion to Aizawa and his scarf. In fact, he was the one who worked with you and trained you with it. 

None the less you still felt like you were on your own with this and felt like you had to overdo yourself in training exercising. Quite frankly, you were on the serious verge of burn out, you wanted nothing more than to just curl up in your bed and watch a little TV after a nice hot shower. But non the less you had to push those desires aside to finish your college semester out strong.

You take another drink of your contraband energy drink, as a student at esteemed high school U.A. things like those were highly frowned upon as they were enhancing your energy to perform due to their abnormal amount of caffeine. Right now, you didn’t give a damn, you were going to be up all night and had early morning training with Aizawa and you are exhausted either way. Just trying to pull these long nights to finish on time. The dark circles were aware to you and your sluggish movements during the day meant a lot more effort on your quirk.

The door to your dorm room was still open allowing light from the outside room to shine into your room as well as your small little desk lamp providing you with a little bit of light for you to write and research on your laptop. You had a light but warm blanket wrapped around you as you were cold and it was around you very similarly to Aizawa’s sleeping bag come to think about it. You were generally cold a greater portion of the time but this felt a little different than normal, you were starting to become congested, never a good sign.

You sighed as you dropped your pencil on your papers and took your hands and rubbed your face and sat there for a moment just resting them there. You could hear footsteps down the hall and took it as someone getting up to go to the kitchens for something, it was an often occurrence. It did slip your mind that teachers would take shifts to do monitoring at different times in the night just taking a stroll down the hallways making sure everything was alright. Honestly, most teachers just slacked on it most of the time so it wasn’t a regular thing. It didn’t really dawn on you that the footsteps were getting closer to your room and the kitchen was the opposite direction. 

Usually, hallway patrols took around 10 minutes for teachers to complete which is why they were skipped so often, but Aizawa actually decided to do his tonight. And to his surprise, he saw one door open compared to the rest closed. His first thought was thinking about what was wrong and quickened his pace. But when he reached your door he couldn’t help but examine your hunched over posture wrapped in your blanket and head in hands, surrounded by loose papers, post its, pens, books, and laptop.

He knew you had a little extra course load normally but he didn’t realize it was something you would be doing well into the night, he just figured you were about to balance everything extremely well as you never complained and usually performed well in classes. However, thinking back to the last week you have seemed a little more tired and in a daze resulting in more quirk effort. The overuse of quirks segment of your student file was blank and he never made the effort to find out. 

He continued to stand at your door for another minute and saw the can of energy drink beside you knowing you were a good kid and wouldn’t resort to something as foolish as that without it being a last resort. Aizawa briefly knocked on your door to alert you of his presence. He did have a soft spot for you compared to Midoria or Bakoguo so he was a little more gentle with you.

“Hey kid, what are you still doing up?”

Startled out your state you did a small jump in your desk chair, “Just trying to write this essay. It’s a few weeks overdue and the end of the semester is soon so I need to get this in.”

He took a few steps into your room and stood behind you, “12th-century convents and monasteries in Italy. Hmm, that doesn’t sound very interesting. What kind of class is this for?”

“It’s for my Origins of western though class, medieval through the renaissance. And trust me, it really isn’t, especially when you can’t focus on it at all,” you replied.

“You’re having trouble focusing?” he asked genuinely concerned, he had never heard those words come from you before.

You put your face back in your hands and simply said, “Quirk overuse.”

Aizawa was taken aback for a short moment, you were never one to complain or let someone know when there was something going on, “God kid how long has this been going on?”

“This time? At least since last week.”

“This time? So this isn’t something new?” he was a little shocked since this was the first time he heard of any of your overuse symptoms. 

“God no, there’s also an extra degree of fatigue and the occasional headache. Night terrors are kinda common too.”

“Shit Y\N why have you never mentioned this before?”

“It just never seemed to be all that important really, I’ve handled it by myself for years why start before now?”

“When was the last time you got a decent nights sleep, you’re starting to look like me. You’ve even got the whole blanket thing going for you,” he asked looking at your form sitting at your desk as you shifted in your seat to look at him.

“Uh, you know, that’s a really good question and it’s been long enough that I can’t fully remember. To be truthful, I just want to finish this so I can take a warm shower and go to sleep.”

When you looked at him he got a better look at you. To be truthful you looked horrible and he started to feel bad because it was evident you were working yourself to death, and keeping up with both school lives on top of his added one-on-one training sessions were taking a toll on you. He had also noticed the congestion in your voice, that was never a good sign.

He put his hand on your forehead and you leaned into even though it felt cold to you it still felt nice, “Kid you’re burning up, you have a fever, why don’t you stop for the night and get that shower you want and you can crash on my couch tonight so I can keep an eye on you.”

“With all due respect sir, I need to finish this, my professor has been on me for weeks on end on this. I have to finish it tonight. And I couldn’t possibly bother you with just congestion and small fever.”

Aizawa sighed and took a seat on the edge of your still made bed, “Listen, kid, I’ll let you finish. I'm going to sit here until you're done and you’re coming with me.”

You put your head down as you knew there was no way out of this one. He took a book off your nightstand and began reading it as you continue your work. It took you about 2 more hours and he had managed to doze off wait for you. You look back at him sleeping quietly and simply close your laptop for the night and lay your head down and close your eyes for just a second truthfully, you felt horrible. In the absence of your typing, Aizawa woke up and saw you with your head down and got up and put a hand on your shoulder feeling the elevated body heat from your fever radiating through you. 

He quietly sighed and in his general monotone voice said, “Come on kiddo let’s go, grab some comfy clothes and you can shower back at my room.”

You compiled and went to stand up but immediately the word was spinning and you had to grab onto the desk to steady yourself. He had immediately put a hand around your waist and only your shoulder not wanting you to fall in your sick weakened state.

“Okay, new plan, We’re going straight to my room, I’ll just give you some clothes and you can take a sitting down shower. I don’t want you to exert any more energy and risk you falling and hurting yourself, so I’m going to carry you, is that okay?”

You gave a small nod and he put one arm under your knees and one on your mid-back and you put your arms around his neck and snuggled into his chest feeling small. And quite truthfully, Aizawa did notice you were a little nighter and a little bonier than he expected before, almost as if you had been skipping meals.

Walking with you down the hallway still wrapped in your blanket ha=e quietly asked, “Kid I need you to be honest with me, are you eating?”

You give a small groan in response, “I accidentally forgot for a few days I’ve just been too busy and didn’t realize.”

Aizawa sighed and realized how work-oriented you are, stopping for nothing and not accomplishing things for your health, “I’ll make you some soup while you’re in the shower okay, then will you please eat a little bit of it?”

You simply nodded your head in his chest resulting in a lack of verbal response.

Once making it back to his living quarters he opened the door and was greeted by a cat waiting for him to get back. He closed the door behind both of you and took you to the bathroom and sat you down on the toilet and told you to undress and take a shower, and he would leave clothes and some towels for you in a bit. 

As you did that and carefully sat down at the bottom of the shower and turned the water on you immediately felt the warm water hitting your skin rinsing some of the sick away and you let out a small cough, which didn’t go unnoticed by your teacher leaving a pair of black sweatpants and a charcoal grey sweater that will be much too large for you but are clean clothes you should find comfortable.

#boku no hero academia #my hero academia #aizawa #shota aizawa #aizawa shota #dadzawa #anime #short stories #myheroacademia #my hero academia short story #boku no hero academia short stories #bnha #mha #aizawa father #aizawa teacher #easerhead #earserhead story

[teamjacobthot]

issa twilight tag game baybee

pick 5-10 characters and write your take on the canon version of them vs. fanon version of them. fanon doesn’t have to be what is generally accepted in the fandom, it can be your own idea of what you think a character is like. then tag the same number of people as characters you pick, if you can.

I was tagged by @leahclearwaterdefensesquad so let’s get into it baybeeee

Jacob

Canon:

Absolutely 1000% adored him and his pure goodness and supportive nature up until Smeyer suddenly wrote him as a violent piece of shit and blamed it on phasing (??????)

And THEN made him a permanent house dog of the Cullens in Breaking Dawn…….. 

Y’all already know how I feel about all that so I’m not getting into it

But trash

Done dirty only bc Smeyer realized she wrote a likable love interest and had to SQUASH that shit instead of making Edward more likable :|

We been knew

Fanon:

HOWEVER

I’ve actually really, really come to love some of the fanon takes of Jacob on here!!! 

I never really had a personal headcanon before the Twilight Renaissance besides “he fixes cars, he gives good hugs, and he’s kinda sad”

This is still true but that man (rn I’m thinking of Jacob as like… a 22 year old) is CRAFTY. 

I love the fanon takes where he sells his handmade jewelry on Etsy and starts his own mechanic shop

I love a man who’s good with his hands

In my personal headcanon now, he definitely works to start his own shop or goes to college to become an engineer, has some unresolved feelings about his sisters abandoning him that eventually get resolved with time, enjoys hanging out with Billy and admires him, probably makes jewelry for his friends’ and family’s birthdays

And would make the best dad ever in the future

He’s also super patient and treats his friends like family because his own family is so fragmented

I also imagine that he can’t fucking cook but he still tries. 

Btw I reject ALL forms of canon where Jacob and any other members of the pack end up hanging out with the Cullens for eternity bc those pasty mfs ruined their lives and need to MOVE AWAY so the pack can finally get some PEACE

Bella

Canon:

Horny white girl

No friends

Doesn’t cuss

Gets married and has a baby at 18 despite literally being Team Fuck Them Kids

Fanon: 

Ngl, I’ve really disconnected with the fandom when it comes to Bella

I do agree that she stays horny

But I do think the fandom sometimes overdoes it in terms of how chaotic she is bc she just… doesn’t give me that kind of vibe. She definitely wasn’t in her right mind in New Moon so that doesn’t count

In fact I find her mentally ill and I really really really want her to get a therapist

I don’t really care for Vampire Bella bc I felt that she lost all the parts of her personality that I really enjoyed

But when it comes to Human Bella, she’s just a chill girl

She’s a Virgo. She was an adult at like, 12

In my personal headcanon, she gets the distance she needs from her mother (I think she has mommy issues tbh) and learns to be an adult not for anybody’s sake but her OWN

She doesn’t necessarily go to college, but she does what she wants

And I genuinely believe she would NOT want a kid before the age of like… 27, if at all

She would live her life at a comfortable place, have lots of sex lmao, and actually make some friends too

Not a lot for friends, just a couple good ones, Jacob included

I’ve always written her/liked seeing her written as humorous but in a super dark way — self-deprecating, sarcastic, DRY, etc. 

She definitely cusses a lot bc she finds there’s a LOT to cuss about

She absolutely smokes weed bc do y’all see how stressed she is??? She deserves it!

Let Bella Smoke A Blunt 2020

Leah Thee Clearwater

Canon:

Bitter :(

Mean “for no reason” :((((

Needs to get over it :/

Hilarious

Fanon:

The fanon depictions of Leah are my favorite so far but they do vary A LOT

I don’t really care for Leah x Angela bc while they are two tall queens, EYE frankly think Leah is too good for anybody we’ve met in the saga and needs a fresh start anyway

And staying in boring ass Clallam County for a gf does not sound like the move

I’m personally a fan of the fanon where Leah moves away after all the bullshit with the Cullens, maybe goes to school, gets a good paying job that’s actually meaningful work too, and never has to phase again

I think about Leah’s life before phasing A LOT. In my mind, she was a semi-popular athlete with hella friends and admirers but still strong and opinionated. She protects girls and women and makes sure to hold people accountable when they fuck up

Overall, my headcanon of Leah is just Canon Leah but if the world was less cruel to her. 

She’s perfect the way she is and I love her <3

Charlie

Canon:

Disgruntled cop

Drinks beer

Hates Edward

Loves Alice

Fanon:

The general fanon for Charlie is more or less the same as Canon Charlie which is like… fine

But he’s still a cop

So in my personal headcanon, he leaves the police force to do work that actually helps Forks like something within community engagement

Maybe he does volunteer work on the Quileute reservation too

Idk I just want him to be useful and not a cop

Rosalie

Canon:

Cold

Mean

Blonde

Doesn’t like Bella

Fanon:

Ok so even though she’s immortal I really imagine she’d like to be around babies and pregnant women as much as possible

I think she would do amazing as an OBGYN despite her hands being all cold lmao

IMAGINE ROSALIE DELIVERING BABIES!!!! (ASSUMING HER HANDS AREN’T TOO COLD!!!!!!)

If she couldn’t be around pregnant women and babies as much as possible I imagine her having her own mechanic shop (possibly shared with Jacob, if they could tolerate each other)

Imagine her working on cars…… I’m w*t

I could also really imagine her fucking it up in an nonprofit organization as an advocate for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault

Overall I really appreciate the fanon that she’s soft at times and does more than just fuck lmao

Quil Ateara Thee Fifth

Canon:

Likes girls

Likes cars

Likes to hang with his friends

Fanon:

All of what’s given in canon

But he’s actually HILARIOUS

And maybe a SoundCloud rapper

The fandom doesn’t talk about Quil enough and I want that to change

Embry

Canon:

Has some sense

Pretty chill overall

Fanon:

Same as canon but WE FINALLY LEARN WHO HIS DAD IS

I feel like it’s Sam’s dad but I want confirmation

WHAT IS THE TRUTH

off the top of my head i’m tagging @rosaliehalee @bellas-dumptruck-ass @fucksmeyer @clearwaterss @embrythecall @that-crooked-smile @witchyangela and absolutely anybody who wants to do this!!!

#tag things #this was so fun!!! #mine #tysm for tagging me kate <3

[orlissa]

Shadow of Night Read Along: Chapter 8

Matthew, Diana, and Pierre journey to France. Walter and Gallowglass accompany them for a while, but Walter has to stay behind at Guernsey, while Gallowglass leaves them at the coast, unwilling to go to Sept Tours. Their first step is at Mont Saint-Michel, where Matthew talks with Cardinal Joyeuse. The way Matthew behaves makes Diana realize that his “transformation” is complete, and the man who stands before her is a Renaissance prince, which makes her ponder if he is still hers. The next morning they continue their journey towards Sept Tours, and the closer they get, the more powerful Phillippe presence becomes—there is no question about who is the real lord of the land. After six days of riding, the final arrive at Sept Tours. Phillippe is not outside to greet them, instead he orders them to his office right away, angering Matthew. Phillippe knows right away that they are from the future, and commands Diana—as she is the one who needs help—to recount what brought them there. He is denying help at first, telling Matthew and Diana to go back to their time and seek help then, but upon noticing Diana’s ring—the one that belonged to Ysabeau—Phillippe realizes that he is dead in their present, and that Ysabeau’s ring is a message to him. He finally agrees to lend the help of the Knights of Lazarus. However, he will not let them share a room. He states that they’re not properly mated—because it was not consummated—and that their marriage would not stand scrutiny, so Diana, an unwed, fatherless woman, is under his protection—and a disaster from a witch/vampire marriage still might be avoided.

Notes

I, too, always get anxiety whenever I think about how small the boat they used to cross the channel must have been.

I’m not good with cold. Once I got lost in an unknown city, in November, in a storm. It took me about four hours to get home, all the while icy water was dripping from my socks (it’s quite a story). Anyway, I just wanted add this to say I sympathize with Diana on a spiritual level here.  

Also a repeat: there is an extended version of Matthew and Diana’s journey in the World of All Souls book, and it’s fascinating.

I’m not saying that Matthew has a foot fetish, but he is seen massaging Diana’s feet a lot of times. (Joking put aside, I love how attentive he is.)

Let me just say I love how the de Clermonts—especially Phillippe and Matthew—handle religion. They believe in something, but they also completely accept that other people believe in something else, and see no need to change those people’s minds. This should be the norm. Religion should be a private and persona matter, and it should be kept far away from politics. (Sure, Phillippe kinda has this “Matthew is foolish for being a Christian, because he is just torturing himself” standpoint, but at the same time he does not intervene.)

The sentence “Pierre woke us before dawn” implies that Matthew was, in fact, asleep as well. I wonder how often does he actually sleep.

I know it’s under special circumstances, but Diana accepting help getting off the horse actually feels like character development. Being independent is great, but being independent while being wise and while knowing it’s okay if you need help is better.

I’d actually like to see more of Alain. I like him. It’s also funny to think that Alain knew who was arriving at Sept Tours when Matthew called him in the 20st century to request food to be taken to the castle.

I really wanna know the backstory of that crown Phillippe handles so carelessly. Also, where is it now?

Phillippe, the Greek god. Who is later implied to be Hercules himself. The question is whether he was a demigod first, and therefore the Greek gods exists, or if him being a vampire created the legends of Hercules.

I love Diana’s outrage that she had to stop working. Godess, I wish I had an excuse to stop working!

I hate how Diana asks Phillippe if he knows about the legendary land across the ocean to the West. America had been discovered for nearly a century by this point. Only a few chapters ago Raleigh was talking about the failed settlement of Roanoke. Phillippe would know what America is. All Diana should have said is “You know the New World? Yeah, we’ll succeed colonizing it.”

Phillippe literally treats Matthew as a wayward, teenaged son, and I’m here for it.

Despite wanting to keep them apart to avert disaster, Phillippe still lets them go with “kiss your witch.” He totally knows that these two will not live separate lives.

Favorite quotes

“Phillippe de Clermont forgets himself and behaves as though he were the king of France.” “My father has no need to rule, for he is the sharp sword that makes and unmakes kings.”

#adow #a discovery of witches #all souls trilogy #shadow of night read along

[cullen-trash]

Thanks for tagging me @yeehaw-vampire !!

1. Character you find most relatable to you as a person?

Probably Bella. I'm kinda quiet and I like to read and I too would secure the bag by marrying the richest vamp family in my small home town if I could. Just stuff like that makes us similar.

2. Character that didn’t have a POV in the books or certain unfinished manuscripts, but you wish did?

One of Bella's human friends, I think I would have liked to see the vamps from an outside perspective, probably Angela.

3. Character that’s underrated and deserves more recognition?

BenjAMIN!!!

4. Character you thought was unnecessary for the story?

Lots of the vamps in breaking dawn. Like rally smeyer you have to have a hundred different sparkly vampires in a clearing and give them all backgrounds stories and names that we're supposed to remember?? Like either make them ALL bigger parts of the story or give us less to get attached to y'know.

5. Top 5 female characters?

Rosalie, Leah, Angela, Emily, the Denalis (in no specific order)

6. Top 5 male characters?

Eric, Jacob (but not after new moon), Emmett, Garrett, Benjamin (in no specific order)

7. Character interaction that didn't happen but you wish it did?

Rosalie and Leah becoming friends, or Rose and Jake being working on cars together and being garage buddies

8. Character that deserves more development?

Leah and Rose, they were just kinda there for misogyny and filler

9. Character who is your total opposite?

Alice, shes short, brunette, fashionable, rich, and can see the future

10. Character you warmed up to after experiencing the Renaissance?

Emmett, when reading the books and watching the movies for the first time in seventh or eigth grad I just kind of blew him off as a himbo (even tho that wasn't a thing yet)he was just a big hulking mass of muscle that was pretty dumb but was overall a good guy. After the renaissance he's a himbo but a lot cooler and I feel like hes one of my favorites now.

Tagging: @rosaalee @the-golden-onion @vampireguarddogs @breakingisabella @gayalicecullen @emmettmccartycullen @bisexualemmettcullen @rosaliehaleee

#thank you !!! #yeehaw-vampire #tagged #tag game #mine #ragens trash

[ultward]

34 for the renaissance ask

34. What changes would you make if you were asked to readapt Twilight?

oh BOY here we go

so i think about this A LOT, and i have a bunch of different ideas but i’ll give y’all the one i come back to most often

animated netflix series. 2d animation with 3d utilized for certain complex action scenes. my favorite animation styles are typically the really loose(?) and expressive ones (think studio trigger productions), so i’d try to get something like that

in terms of NARRATIVE CHANGES:

reworking the werewolves. stephenie actually gave me enough ammo to fix the problem in my own way? this might be kinda long. the origins of vampires would be a lowkey mystery in this adaptation, but they’ve been around since the dawn of time. in response to this, certain early humans evolved into werewolves—specifically, the children of the moon present in canon. many of these CoM were killed, either by humans or vampires, but those who survived long enough to procreate passed on their wolf genes, and those genes evolved as time passed, losing a lot of their negative traits (warped beast form, uncontrollable transformations, etc). these NEW genes became the shifting wolves we see in canon. both forms of lycanthropy still exist, and caius hunts the CoM into near extinction just as he does canon. this new version of the shifter gene expands with the general human population, but, over time, it becomes rarer and rarer as humans spread out. in present day, the gene is most common in places where the same groups of humans have lived for extended periods of time, so not only do the quileutes have a historic pack, but there are dozens of other packs across the globe that adopt similar practices. there are also plenty of “lone wolves” who wound up with the gene outside of these communities. some humans have it, but if they never meet a vampire, it just doesn’t activate. if someone’s gene never activates, there’s less of a chance of passing it on to future generations, which is why shifter wolves become less and less common as time goes on EXCEPT in areas where vampires are commonly found, like forks and la push. that was very long and i could go into more detail but basically ANYONE can be a werewolf in this version! and there’s no weird cultural appropriation!

a diverse cast. this pretty self-explanatory. i was going to make a separate point about character designs, but basically, emmett would be black, alice would be asian. stephenie’s weird skin tone thing is out the window: everyone just looks “dead” for their skin color, they’re not all white. edward is an actual redhead with freckles (why does vampirism get rid of freckles, stephenie? what the hell?) the volturi are made up of a wide variety of races and ethnicity; i cannot dive into every character, but basically, it would just be... realistic

jacob is not a love interest. he’s just bella’s childhood friend. i think i’d have him keep his initial crush on her, but he gets over it pretty fast and does not become an asshole later on. maybe blackwater is endgame? who knows

in a similar vein, all of the characters are... fixed. edward doesn’t stalk bella; maybe he peeks into her room from the trees outside, but he never sneaks in. he doesn’t do weird shit like tear up her truck to keep her from driving places? he just... gets some chill in this. he’s still melodramatic and he still makes mistakes (yes, new moon will still happen, but more will go down to prompt him to leave than just one incident) but he’s not abusive. jasper won’t be a confederate soldier. sam won’t have scarred emily. everything is just better. characters will still keep some flaws but not like... outright terrible stuff

more action! twilight vampires are so cool and i wanna see them FIGHT! just more action scenes, for whatever reasons i could come up with. i envision the fight scenes being kind of like the scenes in movies where speedsters are moving so fast that everything around them slows down. you have these epic fight scenes going on at what LOOKS like normal speed, but the world around them is moving in slow motion. for example: when edward leaves in new moon, victoria leads him on a wild goose chase. i’d add in a scene where he does briefly encounter her in rio, and they get into this quick fight in the middle of a crowded street, but no one can see it because they’re moving so fast. they’re bouncing around all over the place, narrowly avoiding all these humans. it’d be super cool

expanded perspective. so much stuff happens—even during the present action of canon—that we don’t see from bella’s perspective. i think the movies did a good job of pulling back and showing us other things (like adding in bits of the newborns in eclipse), but because this would be a multi-season show, there would be WAY more time to look at what other characters are doing, allowing them to have more development!

THE TWILIGHT-NEW MOON SUMMER! you get to see it! it’s included!

new villains! new monsters! twilight has such cool lore and i’d love to expand upon it even more. i’m big into shonen manga, and i’d inject a bit of that arc structure into this adaptation. for the most part, it’d stick to canon plot points, but there would be new things going on every now and then. i really like the ghouls that i came up with in my fic, and i think they would fit well into canon among other things! like i said earlier, the origin of vampires would be a lowkey plot point, so there would be things to do with that

BREAKING DAWN GETS A FACELIFT. i’m not sure exactly how much i would change, but probably a lot? i think i would have to get through re-adapting the first 3 books because i think those are pretty much fine, but BD would need a complete overhaul. there are elements in there that are cool, like the cullens learning to work with the wolves and having a big confrontation with the volturi that i would LOVE to expand upon, but we’d definitely have to get there... differently. no imprint. no weird pro-life narrative. as much as i’d like to rework renesmee, i’m not sure i’d have bella get pregnant at all; she’s not a mother in my eyes

that’s everything i can think of off the top of my head (which is a lot, i know). netflix please call me

#headcanon #ask #anon #adapt or die #that's gonna be my tag for if i ever post anything else about this lol #Anonymous

[aarontalksmusic-blog]

A Top 30 Horror Movies

This is Halloween! This is Halloween! There are a lot of awesome horror movies, but I picked just 30 that qualify as my favorites. 

#30 - The Conjuring

So this movie isn’t perfect. The last 20-30 minutes kinda turn into a mess as the demon gets more confrontational. But, the first 90 minutes are a near perfect slow build of tension and smart visual storytelling. All the actors do a good job, even the kids. This movie has insured I never play Hide and Clap.

#29 - Paranormal Activity 2

In my opinion superior to the (still pretty good) original, PA2 moves faster than its predecessor and uses the audience’s curiosity against them in interesting ways. You’re always looking to the edges of the screen for something or someone out of place, and as the movie progresses, that curiosity rattles the nerves more and more.

#28 - The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

One of the only modern horror remakes that improves and expands on the original. The Hills Have Eyes hit when I was a junior in high school. It is gleefully gorey and deranged. People die in awful ways, and the protagonist (seen above) spends most of the last half hour drenched in blood. It’s a lot of fun if you’re into that sort of thing.

#27 - Event Horizon

Space Horror is a hard genre to get right. Event Horizon knocks it out of the park by getting the slow build right. There are gruesome and bloody images from time to time, but the majority of the movie is built on tension and dread. Having Sam Neill and Laurence Fishburne leading the cast adds some dramatic weight to the proceedings.

#26 - The VVitch

The GOAT 17th Century rural horror movie. This movie gets real weird and leaves a lot up to the audience’s imagination. The less said about it the better if you haven’t seen it. But, even for the 2010s renaissance of horror, this one stands out.

#25 - Hereditary

This is a list of my favorite horror movies, not the scariest. If it were “scariest” this would be top 10, maybe top 5. The second half of this movie is some of the most uncomfortable and relentlessly horrifying storytelling I’ve ever seen. Across just two feature films, Director Ari Aster has proved himself a master of the horror genre. We’re all worse off for it.

#24 - Return of the Living Dead

The first movie on this list that is more funny than scary, Return of the Living Dead is laugh out loud hilarious at times. Somehow, it still manages to be a more effective zombie movie than most serious ones. Great punk rock soundtrack and highly quotable, this is great for people who scare a little too easily.

#23 - Friday the 13th Part 2

Basically improving on the original in every way, Friday the 13th Part 2 is iconic even without Jason’s hockey mask making an appearance. The killer instead keeps a lumpy bag over his head the whole time. The movie lets you know early on that its going to be ridiculous, when the Part 2 logo literally smashes through the Friday the 13th title card. Great representation of the slasher genre.

#22 - Suspiria (2018)

I’m a sucker for lore in movies, and Suspiria is full to the brim with details that expand on the world. Led by great performances from Tilda Swinton and Dakota Johnson, the movie is highly intelligent and occasionally brutally violent. The fact that the director’s prior movie was “Call Me By Your Name” shows that he’s a talented filmmaker no matter the genre.

#21 - Halloween (1978)

Michael Myers is iconic. The music is iconic. Jamie Lee Curtis is an all-time great horror leading lady. Halloween is a must watch for horror genre fans. 

#20 - Get Out

This movie is so well written it won an Oscar. Get Out is both hilarious and brutally tense. The acting is awesome across the board. Who knew Jordan Peele would use his comedy talent to make a career in scary movies? 

#19 - Shaun of the Dead

A classic comedy filled with so many jokes that it takes about 3 watches to catch them all. Not scary in the least, but uniquely playful in the genre. Also made Simon Pegg a star. Nothing but greatness here.

#18 - The Descent

I’ll always remember my first watch of this movie. It slaps you in the face with trauma in the first 5 minutes. Then spends three quarters of an hour building tension and claustrophobia before suddenly becoming a solid monster feature. Though it fizzles a little at the end with some wtf moments, the first 3/4ths are very effecting.

#17 - Nightmare on Elm Street

Nightmare on Elm Street is just a cool as hell idea for a horror movie. It takes the occasional predictability of Halloween or Friday the 13th and flips it. The kills are inventive and visually interesting, the effects are very cool, and you get to see Johnny Depp get brutally murdered. win-win-win.

#16 - Saw

Saw came out at a perfect age for me. Seeing this movie at 16 was a great experience. Even as the sequels got worse and worse, the whodunnit nature of the original held up. People were literally drowning in gore by Saw 3, but this is a solid movie that knows when to tone things down. Great watch.

#15 - Evil Dead 2

By turns hilarious and unsettling, watching Evil Dead 2 allows the viewer to marvel at the special effects done on a shoestring budget. Bruce Campbell is an absurd and talented physical actor, and singlehandedly carries this movie into the hall of fame.

#14 - IT Chapter 1

Chopping the 1,000 page Stephen King book in half allowed the first half of the IT saga to thrive. Bill Skarsgard is a fantastic Pennywise, and the child actors all do well. A slightly repetitive series of scares keeps this one from perfection (and would be the downfall of Part 2), but its still an amazing peak of the genre.

#13 - Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Fast zombies. Zack Snyder directing before his head got too big. Hilarious musical cues. Apocalyptic imagery. This movie is one of the best of the zombie genre.

#12 - Fright Night (1985)

One of the most simply fun movies on this list, Fright Night is straight out of the mid 80s. It never takes itself too seriously, but it still has some good scares sprinkled in. An essential vampire movie, and the remake with Colin Farrell wasn’t half bad either.

#11 - The Omen (1976)

One of my early favorites, The Omen is another lore filled film that gradually ramps up the twists until the dramatic finale. Probably one of the least scary films on my list, its built on Gregory Peck being a great actor and a few pretty messed up deaths.

#10 - An American Werewolf in London

Another favorite from childhood, this is the best the werewolf genre has to offer. Made by John Landis who also did Animal House and Blues Brothers, American Werewolf balances 80s level of gore with award winning special effects and clever music (every song featured has moon in the title).

#9 - It Follows

One of the newest (and most original) movies on the list, It Follows is one of a kind. It’s terrifying, has great cinematography and halfway through the movie you have absolutely no clue how it will end. Must see.

#8 - Midsommar

This is absolute newest film on the list, and one I’m anxious to rewatch. Midsommar sets itself apart by being 95% in broad daylight and providing a wealth of backstory to the “bad guys”. Also Florence Pugh shows that she is an amazingly skilled actress, particularly in the final 10 minutes.

#7 - The Exorcist

^That guy is scary. He’s also only in the movie for like 3 seconds. Obviously this is a classic. If you haven’t seen it and like horror at all, it will still amaze you, almost 50 years later. I would’ve loved to be a fly on the wall when it was in theaters watching people lose their minds. Still a masterpiece of the genre.

#6 - The Blair Witch Project

I watched The Blair Witch Project for the first time alone in my room at age...I believe 14. That was a mistake. While the mistakes of the hikers become a bit hilarious on multiple rewatches, the night scenes are still tense af. The last 15 minutes are uniquely terror-inducing. Everybody’s seen this one, but if you haven’t, maybe watch it with the lights on?

#5 - The Evil Dead (2013)

This movie is one of the most intense and relentless horror movies ever. Nail guns, rusty knives, a turkey carver, a chainsaw, a machete: people get literally ripped apart in this movie. But, here’s the thing, its really really fun to watch. You’ll be out of breath when its over, but still.

#4 - Cabin in the Woods

Cabin in the Woods isn’t THAT scary. It flirts with scary. It has some shocking and frightening moments But mostly its a shitload of fun that plays on every trope of the horror genre. It also has one of my favorite final moments of any film on this list.

#3 - The Thing

Underappreciated upon its release, The Thing has become the standard by which body horror is measured. Its delightfully paranoid and lets the audience sit and think as gruesome deaths pile up. 

#2 - Alien

One of the first movies to terrify me, Alien is one of the greatest horror movies ever made. The monster design is iconic. The kills and set pieces are one of a kind. It has a kick ass female heroine played by Sigourney Weaver. What more do you want?

and finally

#1 - The Shining

YEAHHHHHHH Here’s a brief list of iconic Shining scenes: - An elevator full of blood - The old woman in room 237 - All work and no play make Jack a dull boy - The snowy hedge maze - Here’s Johnny - Danny’s vision of the twins - The house of horrors finale featuring the man in bear costume featured above and of course - REDRUM This movie is a masterpiece, made by one of the greatest directors of all time, starring one of the greatest actors of all time and based on one of the scariest books by the defining horror author of our time. Its damn near perfect.

[krahka]

The KleskizhAUs and their Poetic Styles

Under read more because lomg

SWTOR Kleskizhae

Ridiculous Sith Juggernaut. Excessively proud of his Sith ancestry but also ridiculously light side and somehow doesn’t see this as a problem. Loves lightsabers, loves the Empire but is a little less clear on whether he likes the Empire as an institution or the Empire as the people, and hint, it’s the people, he’ll pick the people if he had to.

Poetry: ALL CAPS HAIKUS FREE VERSE ASTRONOMY METAPHORS EXTREMELY VIOLENT REFERENCES TO ANCIENT SITH HISTORY BEAUTIFUL WORDS BEATEN STRAIGHT OUT OF HIS HEART OF DARK PASSION

DS!SWTOR Kleskizhae

Ridiculous and awful Sith Juggernaut. Believes himself morally and genetically superior to all others. Delights in toying with his inferiors, especially in breaking their hearts with his charm and facade of kindness. 

Poetry: Flowery and romantic and flattering. More or less copies of ancient Sith poems, but with the words changed a bit. They’re mostly for showing off how cultured he is and how much he loves you babe, so he doesn’t put in much effort. 

ESO Kleskizhae

Altmer Battlemage. A scion of the Direnni but not on great terms with his family due to his allegiance to the Aldmeri Dominion and his marrying a Bosmer because of Spinner shenanigans. Ambassador of the Queen and definitely not one of her Eyes nosir. Got pressganged into the Buoyant Armigers after impressing Vivec by exemplifying all of hir favorite virtues and vices just by accident.

Poetry: Sonnets. Ballads. Sexually explicit but it’s so purple that you can hardly tell just how sexually explicit it really is. Mostly about his own adventures and the people he knows. Melodramatic as fuck. The stuff he wrote when Vivec specifically was taking an interest in him is his best work, since he starts getting more experimental and tones down the silliness without losing that red hot emotional core that really elevates the verse to something that so many people try and fail to replicate in the future that it’s become its own genre. 

DS!ESO Kleskizhae

Altmer Battlemage what dabbles in necromancy. Believes himself the rightful king of all of High Rock with the Bretons as his rebellious subjects. Allied with Mannimarco because he promised him that when Planemeld happened, he could have his ancestral holdings all to himself, with all the people there living only to glorify him. The kinda guy you end up killing in the Daggerfall Covenant quests or in a Balfiera focused dungeon DLC. 

Poetry: Pretty similar to light side ESO!Kleskizhae, but if he thinks you didn’t appreciate his work he’ll torture you until you do. Try and critique it and he’ll just plain murder you and raise your corpse to grovel for his forgiveness and admit that you were wrong. Also his poetry is his annoying boss mechanic somehow. Didn’t read the books in his dungeon? Too bad because that’s how you defeat him. 

GW2 Klejskizae

Norn Herald. Skald, champion of Wolf, Lightbringer of the Order of Whispers. A Delight unto all people of Tyria! Your new best friend who is not using your friendship with him to learn your secrets! Come and listen to him channel the spirits and the Legends next Dragon Bash!

Poetry: Actually more into prose. Veddas. Stories about heroes, exaggerated for effect. Tales that he keeps in his mind that he tells differently each time he’s asked to tell it, depending on what he thinks his audience needs to hear. The poetry tends to be more personal, often taking the form of prayers to the Spirits that are between him and them. Also will write songs, also about heroes, with calls to action for the Pact. 

TES!Specifically Klejskizae

Nord Skaald. Traveling yeller. Delighter of audiences all throughout Tamriel. Follower of the Old Ways. Probably also in the Blades. 

Poetry: SCREAMING TAVERN SONGS. Great heroes, sometimes gets kicked out of taverns in Skyrim because he’s performing songs about non-Nord heroes but how can you not be excited by EVERYONE

SWTOR!Specifically Klejskizae

Mandalorian what will scream battle poems in your ear as he faces you in glorious hand to hand combat. Has some very weird ideas of what being Mandalorian is, but they’re closer to reality than his Sith version’s ideas of being Sith. 

Poetry: You thought Sith Kleskizhae’s poetry was gory and violent? You haven’t heard Mando Klejskizae. They are ridiculous. Everything ends with lovers embracing for the last time as they die in battle and their death is described in excruciating detail.

FFXIV Kleskizhae

Ishgardian adventurer. Dragoony Bard. Got kicked out for being way too scandalous for the theocracy and for talking too much about how he thought that maybe we should just smooch the Dragons? 

Poetry: The poetry isn’t why he’s not liked back in Ishgard, though that poetry was a means to transmit his unpopular and scandalous ideas and activities. The poetry specifically is why he’s distrusted in Gridania after he met an elemental and challenged it to a rap battle and it went very poorly. (Kleskizhae won and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise or that that’s not the point and there is no winning because he definitely won)

West Coast Fallout Klaus K. Zheng

Paladin of the Brotherhood of Steel. Sort of into the whole BoS thing of keeping dangerous tech out of people’s hands but also he’s into protecting people in any way he can, since they must protect those who will inherit the past, yes? That is what we’re doing, right? Right?

Poetry: He found a book of poems about Arthurian legends and they changed his life, as did Grognak the Barbarian which he’s sure is in the same canon. He’s also read a bunch of Shakespeare and only sort of understands it. So yeah, sonnets that are Shakespeare ripoffs. Casting modern topics into medieval terms. Sometimes it’ll get weird and his BoS worldview will come in and make them anachronistic but it’s unintentional because he just wants to write like the knights of yore. 

East Coast Fallout Klaus K. Zheng

Enclave soldier, later deserter once he sees that oh shit killing everyone wasn’t supposed to be what they were going to do! He wasn’t listening to the quiet part! Ends up aiding synths because it pisses off the BoS and also saves lives. Still believes in America but it’s one that maybe never existed. 

Poetry: The Enclave did preserve a lot of good American literature in their databanks, though they’re kinda sketchy about distributing it to their soldiers since even before 2077 they realized that a lot of the American canon contains like, anti-war, anti-corporate ideas and they couldn’t have that in their new society. He read Leaves of Grass once and it blew his mind. He might just surrender to the Brotherhood if they let him have access to their books, because he needs those. But also he might not because they would probably kill him and he’s also spending his post-Raven Rock time helping synths out of the Institute and that’s something they’d kill him for. And probably also kill a lot of other people if they realized that the Railroad had ex-Enclave in there. And the Institute doesn’t care for the humanities, which is why they had to create machines to teach them how to be human and then proceed to do such terrible things to the humans they’ve created; because they are less machine than they are and they resent them for it. 

Modern Vlogger Klaus K. Zheng

Relationship advice vlogger, specifically as a counter-voice to all those shitty misogynist PUAs that are targeting lonely straight men. Also here for the lonely women and the lonely queers since he’s a queer man himself. 

Poetry: He’s got a Master’s in Poetry and he feels it was time well spent, even if he didn’t care as much for academia as he did for the writing and the reading. One of the rewards for donating to his Patreon at a higher tier is a short poem written just for you about whatever subject you wish. (Assuming that it’s not extremely objectionable. He’ll gladly write poems about all sorts of sex acts, but he won’t write one about the virtues of white power.)

HZD Kleskizhae

Carja Warrior. Participated in the Red Raids because that was what the will of the Sun was but he couldn’t take the violence and the genocide and ended up joining with Sun-Prince Avad to overthrow the murderous king literally as soon as he could. Has been on a tour of goodwill ever since. 

Poetry: Overuses the words “glinting”, “scintillating”, “resplendent”, “radiant”, “brilliant” and other words that mean A LOT OF LIGHT because he’s really into writing ridiculous songs about the Sun. A lot more personal and emotional than a lot of Carja poetry, since it’s more about love than about praising the Sun or the King. It’s a new dawn, and what the world needs is love’s shining rays to heal her wounds. With the help of some Oseram who wanted to promote the newly invented phonograph, manages to become the first real pop star after the apocalypse.

DA Kleskizhae

Tevinter Battlemage. Was sent off to the front lines against the Qunari to keep from embarrassing his family and his master. Accidentally ended up embarrassing them anyway. 

Poetry: So he’s really into bringing up the Old Gods in his poems. He doesn’t worship them, he’s a good Andrastian, but you know how in the Renaissance everyone was a huge Greeceaboo? Yeah, it’s like that. 

WtA Klaus K. Zheng

Fianna Galliard. He’s a werewolf poet who sings ballads of his pack’s glorious battles and lifts their spirits in the name of Gaia and Stag!

Poetry: He’s got a soft spot for dirty limericks. All of the Kleskizhaes will make improv poems upon request when they’re drunk enough but Fianna!Klaus is the master of the drunken on-the-spot poem. Like they get way better when he’s drunk and they’re improvised, as opposed to the usual thing where they’re charmingly bad.

VtM Klaus K. Zheng

Toreador. Got the vampire bug some time in the Victorian era, I dunno if he was actually British or what.

Poetry: Lord Byron himself once called his poems “a bit maudlin.” His sire was certainly fond of his work, but if he had more time in his peak living creative years he would have probably been a better known figure in the Romantic movement. As it is he’s fairly irrelevant and forgotten by all but a few intense scholars of the period, and even they consider him a minor figure. 

Shadowrun Klaus K. Zheng

Elven Street Samurai. Just wants to make the world a better place through the power of love and also katanas. Probably unfortunately involved with Aztechnology which is gonna end badly for him probably. 

Poetry: Machines and corporations have not yet conquered the metahuman soul, and that is why he writes. Has been banned from a couple of Runner BBSs for constantly posting about his latest runs in the form of epic poem, and that’s not what these boards are for, @GLORIOUSSAMURAI, please turn off your caps lock

Star Trek Kleskizhae

Romulan Tactical Officer. Fought in the Dominion War, joined the Romulan Republic after Romulus asplode, because they wouldn’t let him quietly desert and because he believes in the true Romulan spirit that can never be repressed!

Poetry: He’s trying to revive ancient pre-Awakening Vulcan poetic traditions whilst failing to recognize that lots of it doesn’t work in the modern Romulan language. He’s always been super into poetry but after the destruction of Romulus, he becomes obsessed with writing the perfect series of poems to describe it for the future, so that people will remember what it’s like long after everyone who remembers it is dead. He hasn’t been successful yet and it’s upsetting him but he can’t just not do it. He owes it to the dead. 

Bionicle Kleskizhae

He's a proud Skakdi warlord of Fire who is trying his best to unite his proud and noble people against the wicked deprivations of the Makuta and might also be in the Order of Mata Nui because sometimes Kleskizhae is a spy? But always he is very loud. 

Poetry: Extremely long and elaborate war chants with 40 verses that he’s trying to get his guys to chant into battle but no one else but him can remember it all and he keeps adding more verses. But also he’s written love poetry that’s gone all the way around Greg and made romance canon again! He’s done it! With the chiseling of the tablets he’s made love real!

#oc: kleskizhae #all screaming together in perfect harmony #long post

[leilas-digital-scrapbook-blog]

Giving Love a Bad Name – Confessions of a Fanfiction Writer

I know we’re supposed to blog about our major projects this week and I promise I will get to that soon, but I’d like to go off book for a moment to address something that’s been bugging me since last Thursday’s class. As someone who’s always tried to engage with fandom in as creative a way as possible, I hoped a class on user generated content would offer a fresher perspective than the usual amount of prejudice and self-righteous superiority that sadly seem to accompany the subject of fanfiction even amongst people that make stories and their passion for it their bread and butter.

Guess I should have known better.

In the world of professional writers, fanfiction is still a filthy word. It sums up everything that’s wrong with the people you’re sharing your stories with: the obsessiveness, the entitlement, the disregard for boundaries, the penchant for making everything about sex. Worse, gay sex, as unspeakably dirty as it’s hilarious. Be warned, writers: if you make it big, your stories will inevitably become a free-for-all at the mercy of those people. A worse fate than even George R. R. Martin could wish on his own characters.

I’m used to seeing the world of fanfiction belittled and disparaged, of course, and I’m the first to admit that the community is often its own worst enemy. But for some reason it still hurt a little to sit in class and listen to people I’ve come to like and respect during these past few months buy into every bad stereotype associated with the form. Not because I felt called out (though yes, I do write fanfiction from time to time, and I happen to quite enjoy reading it too), but because of the underlying assumptions that 1. something that’s not 100% original cannot be art, it’s a violence in fact, especially if it twists someone else’s creation into something it was never meant to be (in this case, queer representation); and 2. there’s something wrong with creating exclusively out of love, without ever expecting to be paid for it. And I have Strong Opinions on that.

So let’s talk about fanfiction.

Actually, scratch that, let’s talk about my favorite subject – yours truly. As you may have gathered by now, I love fanfiction. A whole fangirly lot. My gateway drug into it was my obsession with Lost about 10 years ago and its pesky habit of offing every character I was foolish enough to get attached to. But lo! Someone was keeping them alive through their stories! I felt blessed. I got to spend more time in a world I loved, and I stopped flirting with the idea of giving up on the show every time another character I liked bit the dust. Everybody won.

Even more than as a fan, though, I appreciated the world of possibilities that fanfiction opened up to me as a non-native speaker. I come from a small town in the north of Italy; the access I had to foreign books in their original language was limited, and if I wanted to read something in English I’d have to spend quite a lot of money on one of the very few novels (usually chunky airport bookshop thrillers or housewife romances – not exactly my preferred genres) that shared a single shelf in the bookstore with German, French, Spanish titles. But fanfiction was free, accessible, and there was so much of it. If I didn’t like a story, all I needed to do was move on to the next. Suddenly there was an infinite library of engaging stories to help me make my English better. True, they didn’t all read like a published novel would – there’s a lot of unpolished, error-plagued, stream-of-consciousness-y material out there. But there are also so, so many beautifully written works, and believe me, even for a non-native speaker it’s very easy to spot the difference.

Fanfiction also gave me the chance and motivation to practice my English writing in a way school never could have done. I’ve been writing my own stories since I could hold a pen, but I didn’t dare write in English until I was a fanfiction-loving teenager. It was a marketing decision, really – my first foray into writing fanfiction was for a fandom so small that I wouldn’t be surprised to find out I’m the only Italian representative, so if I wanted any kind of feedback on my work I’d have to suck it up and try my hand at writing in a language that didn’t come natural to me. I would never argue that the feedback I got on my works made me a better writer – contrary to popular opinion, the fanfiction community is made up of the nicest, most supportive people, and alas, you’ll never get a comment on everything you did wrong with your structure or even just pointing out common grammar mistakes from them (though I was lucky enough to have someone explain to me how dialogue punctuation works differently in English than in Italian, so I guess something can be learned even from the Internet). It did motivate me to keep writing, though, and that made me a better writer. If you think I’m being too dramatic, dishing out this monster of a post nobody asked for just to declare my eternal devotion to fanfiction, it’s because it’s personal to me. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve been told that I write in English as well as native speakers, and fanfiction is a big part of why that’s true. I doubt I would even be in this course if it wasn’t for it.

And then, of course, there’s the gay thing. I’m not going to argue about how heteronormativity sucks and representation matters because I’m sure everyone’s as sick of talking about it as I am, but please try to understand how it felt for a gay person like me, used to be depicted in media as a plot device or token secondary-character representation if at all, to be able to step into a world where queerness was the default for once. Where queer protagonists had meaningful queer love stories and queer friends and got to save the world from the Apocalypse too. Or to fight the Empire or go to Hogwarts or everything else fictional straight people have had a right to do since the dawn of storytelling in addition to romancing the hottie of their choice. I’m not asking you to feel as passionately about it, of course, but (especially if you’re straight) you might try and empathize the next time you think a fanart of two boys kissing is something deserving of your amused contempt.

I hope I’m not coming across as the person that screams “homophobe” at everyone who disagrees with her because I guarantee that’s not what I’m trying to do here, but I think the general distaste for slash says a lot about the way our society sees heterosexual relationships as love and homosexual relationships as sex. Yes, there’s a lot of gay porn in the world of fanfiction. But you know what you’re most likely to find? Romance. Not in the saucy literary sense of the word, but in its simpler, most literal acceptation. Fanfiction is just one more way for humans to express themselves, after all, and love has always been front and center in our art. Love, not sex – even if it’s gay. In fact, explicit material doesn’t even make up the majority of what you’ll find on a fanfiction website. Don’t worry, I don’t want anyone to taint their souls by visiting one of those dens of iniquity so I pulled some stats myself. Here’s the number of works for each rating in three of the most popular fandoms on Archive Of Our Own, the current go-to website for the fanfiction community (sorry Fanfiction.net) – Harry Potter, Supernatural and the Marvel Cinematic Universe as of 9/3/2019:

Even counting both Mature and Explicit works as straight-up porn (which I don’t think is quite fair, but that’s a discussion for another day), they only make up less than 1/3 of the material. Kinda disappointing, for a medium that’s supposed to be all about filthy graphic gay sex. Imagine if only one in three musicals actually featured singing and dancing, or superheroes weren’t in the majority of superhero movies. They’re lucky fanfiction is shared for free, or I’d be screaming for my money back.

Maybe I’ve just been brainwashed by SJWs, though, and this has nothing to do with my being an immigrant or a lesbian. Maybe my inability to see what’s so bad about appropriating someone else’s intellectual property for your own amusement is a cultural thing. I apologize – as mentioned, I’m Italian, and we all know Ancient Roman culture was basically just a ripoff of everything those inventive Greeks came up with. It’s in our blood. Hell, our 2€ coin, the biggest, has the face of Dante Alighieri on it, a writer most famous for having written 14.000+ verses of self-insert real-person-fic in which the girl he fancied as a teenager, his favorite author, and God himself all fall over themselves to tell him how awesome he is and he gets to prophesy an eternity in Hell for his political enemies. Talk about wish-fulfilling entitlement. Not to mention all those creatively arid Renaissance “artists” celebrated for stealing characters from the Bible and Greek mythology (seriously, the fact that Greece hasn’t unleashed an army of lawyers on us yet is nothing short of a miracle) and putting them in their cheesy paintings. Other countries can rely on a much stronger moral backbone and endless imagination – I’m sure Shakespeare, Milton, Goethe, those creative geniuses at Disney and countless others never had to resort to something as cheap and despicable as borrowing other people’s characters to tell the stories they wanted to tell.

Either way, I can’t help it – I see the prospect of creating something that will resonate with people so strongly that they’ll make it a part of themselves, that it’ll compel them to make more art, to reach out and connect with other fans, as something incredibly beautiful rather than scary. Maybe this is my usual naiveté speaking, and I will come to eat my words. It’s certainly disturbing that a bunch of entitled fans bullied the Mass Effect developers into changing the series’ ending, and sending actors explicit fanart of themselves is straight-up harassment, but is fanfiction really the problem here? Or is it social network culture, with its power to destroy all barriers and foster hive mind? To give resentment a platform to spread and be heard? I promise that the average fanfiction writer wouldn’t campaign to get an ending changed. They’d just roll up their sleeves and write a better one themselves.

#my thoughts #aka leila goes off about her life story #user generated content #fanfiction #fandom #tmi alert

[promiseimnotacop]

how much do you know about art history? It’s just in my interests in history I keep finding myself at art history as a social commentary on the world around the artists (well, more so than I had previously thought anyway), and Idk really where to start heh

i don’t actually know a massive amount about art history but i am very interested in it and shit so if you ever wanna chat about stuff hmu. as for where to start, kinda of entirely depends what time frame of “history” you are looking at. 

If you are more interested in exploring early 19th century to 20th century social commentary it’s probably best to look at the ideas that influenced modernism and expressionism and shit - and how many people theorize that this abstraction and subversion of convention came from the anguish, upset and anxieties felt post-war and how butchering established forms works as a meditation on the horrors witnessed during war (good example would be Guernica by Picasso, 1937).  similar analysis has been claimed of post-war literature and poetry but i know even less about that. Another vital point to understanding the 20th century artistic movements is understanding how technological advancements (paint tube invented 1841, dawn of colour photography 1840s- 1906, dot matrix printing 1925 etc.) made art both easier to produce but also made artist’s practice comparable to automated workings of machines - some artists actively embracing that (i.e. Andy Warhol, the factory, “i am a machine”) and some trying to resist the comparison and do what machines can’t.

if by history you mean specifically political history political cartooning is honestly a really fascinating thing to look at. The classic Punch cartoons are a fantastic example of the form that are referenced again and again in modern political cartooning (a great example would be “plumb pudding in danger”, 1805) which originally depicts William Pitt and Napolean but has been parodied to portray pretty much anything).

If by history you are taking a very broad historic but european focus it is probably important to look at the classical art and greco-roman art and how that then goes onto influence in the renaissance. In brief greek art is divided into four periods geometric (1000 BC onward), archaic (700 BC onward), classical (500 BC) and hellenistic (330 BC onward). The geometric period is characterized by pattern (shock horror!) and figurative representations, particularly in terracotta. The archaic period is characterised by increased detail and still incredibly characterized sculptures. The classical period is often hailed as the height of realism in greek art and the hellenistic era is characterized by the added intense Drama. To understand how these styles developed, looking at various kouros figures from the different periods can illustrate quite well the developments. The social commentary that can then be extrapolated from these is a reflection on the changing beauty ideals (they get BUFF). 

Understanding this kinda art helps understand it’s influence on renaissance art and how art went from the very icongraph focused byzantine stuff (which was actually limited by law I believe) on to the “holy crap that looks real” type stuff. the renaissance famously “rediscovered” grecco roman art and philosophy and it shows. Art also shifted away from portraying the purely depictions of saints (although still often religious, such as creation of adam) which reflects idealogical shifts and such. Also allegorical paintings (e.g prima vera - although the meaning of that one is mostly lost if there ever was a clear one) became a big thing, so, those are important and portray at very least the idealised virtues of the time and in some cases are believed to be very specific political commentaries (e.g it’s not hard to see a political statement in a painting called death and the miser) . A vital thing to understand in terms of the socio-politcal influences on renaissance art is the function of a patron and the habit of including “sponsor portraits”. Although freer than byzantine art in many ways it was still very confined by what would pay, and art for the church or for a rich sponsor was what would pay. 

if by history you mean prehistory/ancient history (which certainly includes the geometric era at least in part) then go wild but so little is fricking known that your guess is as good as anyones. The huffington white horse, for example, some theorize is actually meant to be a dragon. And although there are certainly observable troupes and types of pieces - venus figurines for example, will always be labeled something vague about being “fertility symbols” which doesn’t mean a lot of anything really. “ritual object” is another unspeakably vague word that gets thrown around.

if you want a more specifics or elaborations on anything i said feel free to hmu

#Anonymous

[jmlascar]

long tag for the bae

I was planning to work on my fic but then @krasnyzmeya posted this tag and said she’d like to read my answers so obviously this is what my productive brain chose to do! But it was fun haha (also bby your answers cracked me up so much, especially your mom’s quote, she’s a legend) 

1. Coke or Pepsi: oh man I drink way too much diet coke

2: Disney or Dreamworks: I love Disney songs, but i’ll have to go with Dreamworks because you don’t get more brilliant than Shrek. Also How to train your dragon makes me cry and I think the internet needs to thank them for the utter weirdness that was the Bee Movie. It gave birth to some quality memes.

3: Coffee or tea: Tea, because I like just about any type, whereas I’m very specific about my coffee. But I drink a lot of both.

4: Books or movies: Books.

5: Windows or Mac: I was raised by the biggest Mac fanboy this planet ever saw, so that’s what I’m most familiar with, haha.

6: DC or Marvel: DC for the comics, Marvel for the TV shows, both for the movies. (is this cheating?) (whatever that question is cheating) (you can’t just pick one)

7: Xbox or Playstation: Nintendo DS. Tbh I never played the other two. We did have a playstation at home but it effectively became my brother’s.

8: Dragon Age or Mass Effect: I haven’t played either, but from what I’ve heard of it Dragon Age looks really cool.

9: Night owl or early riser: It is currently 2:45am. Definitely night owl. (If only for the owl part.)

10: Cards or chess: I love chess.

11: Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla.

12: Vans or Converse: …I only wear boots? But I’ve owned my fair share of Converses in the past, so that.

13: Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: Are these Dragon Age characters? Idk. Whoever’s gayest, probably.

14: Fluff or angst: I want fluff in my life and angst in my books.

15: Beach or forest: Forest. ‘I hate sand. It’s coarse and rough and it gets everywhere.’ –> my life

16: Dogs or Cats: …this is just cruel. 

17: Clear skies or rain: Rain rain rain

18: Cooking or eating out: Cooking is pretty nice, even if i’m often too lazy to do it properly. Cooking with friends is especially fun. 

19: Spicy food or mild food: I am so weak. Spice makes me cry. My tastes are boringly mild, lol. 

20: Halloween/Samhain or Solstice/Yule/Christmas: Halloweeen, because candy, scary movies, and cool costumes!

21: Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot (and no the winter coats and AC’s are not an option): I mean… normally I prefer cold over heat, but that’s because I get to be warm and fuzzy in my blankets. But if that doesn’t warm me up, I’d probably pick hot and drink lots of iced tea? But would the ice tea feel cool or?? idk the physics of that question hurts my brain lol

22: If you could have a superpower, what would it be: Controlling time! Or super memory.

23: Animation or live action: That’s so broad, I’m not even going to begin trying to pick one, man. 

24: Paragon or renegade: I don’t know what this is. But Renegade sounds edgy. So that.

25: Baths or showers: Give me a lavender scented bubble bath and i’ll probably ask you to marry me

26: Team Cap or Team Ironman: OH CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN 

27: Fantasy or Sci-Fi: Sci-Fi

28: Do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so what are they? If not do you think you will in future? I’ve got sooo many, hahaha. I have a tendency to fall in love with pretty words. Let me pick the ones I can think off the top of my head:

from A Streecar Named Desire, Tennessee Williams: “They told me to take a streetcar named Desire and then transfer to one called Cemeteries and ride six blocks and get off at — Elysian Fields!”

from the Bluest Eye, Toni Morrison: “Along with the idea of romantic love, she was introduced to another — physical beauty. Probably the most destructive ideas in the history of human thought.”

from Giovanni’s Room, Hames Baldwin: “Touch, but no contact. All touch, but no contact and no light.” I asked him: “Why?” “That you must ask yourself,” he told me, “and perhaps one day this morning will not be ashes in your mouth.”

from The Lake, Alphonse de la Martine: “Mais je demande en vain quelques moments encore, Le temps m'échappe et fuit ; Je dis à cette nuit : Sois plus lente ; et l'aurore Va dissiper la nuit.”

English translation: "But I demand in vain a few moments again Time escapes and runs away from me I tell that night: Be slower; yet the dawn Will dissipate the night.“ 

from salt. by Nayyirah Waheed: ” ‘no’ might make them angry. but it will make you free. — if no one ever told you, your freedom is more important than their anger

29: Youtube or Netflix: Netflix. Their originals are the best of what tv can make, and they’ve never disappointed me so far.

30. Classic Disney, Disney Renaissance, or Modern Disney? Renaissance.

31. What would you tell your younger self? “Don’t listen to them. Keep being you. It’s going to be ok.”

32. If you could change one thing about the world around you, what would it be? I would make us all one hermaphrodite gender.

33. Make music or listen to music? @meta-duckling will tell you I’m off-tune and deprived of rhythmic sense (i’ll never forget nor forgive, nathan. never.) sooo i’ll go with listening, haha. I did play the harpsichord for a couple of years (& if you think it’s a lame outdated instrument just remember that hannibal lecter plays it, so u might wanna be careful, just saying) and used to sing kinda well but now it’s all gone

34. Slow burn or Oneshot?: Definitely slow burns. Big books and 300k word long fics with heaps of subtle character development give me life. That being said, I have a couple of one-shots I really love out there, and I think I’d enjoy writing one.

and I’ll tag @meta-duckling because i know how much you love making decisions ♡

#okay sooooo it's now 3am so there are probably typos sorryy

[comeonthinkers]

Keto Princess

If I started a cooking blog, I think that’s what I’d call it. Keto Princess. It’s got a nice ring to it, has all the fun of that Pioneer-Woman type of pure millennial mom-i-tude, you know what I mean? Of course, the whole point would be to laugh in the face of the princess stereotype, so it’s more of a cynical jab at the perfect Pinterest Mom mentality, but... okay. Maybe I wouldn’t call it that. 

The past couple of weeks have been pretty full of Keto and Princess. You see, in addition to finagling my diet a bit to better fit my lifestyle and tastes and actual weight loss record, I’ve recently started recording and producing a podcast with my friend, client, and mentor Reverend Dr. Robin Blair. We’ve worked together for years on Common Good Radio, which is an online Christian radio station for kids, and although I wouldn’t classify myself as a typical Christian, I do believe in God and go to church sometimes and all that. I’ve got a complex spiritualistic belief system that doesn’t exactly fit in with the Methodist Church, but I love Pastor Robin and all she does for the community and the Methodist Council, so it’s really fun working with her. 

Our podcast is called Married to the Media, and in it we analyze children’s media and dissect how to talk about it and discuss it and engage with it in a family setting. Really, it’s our answer to a media-centric culture, and trying to come to grips with the affect media has on our kids- something we should have been paying more attention to since the dawn of VHS tapes. I grew up in the 90s, when Nickelodeon and the Disney Renaissance RULED my childhood (and many others), so this has been a big dive for me back into rediscovering my youth and everything that was wrong (or right) with it. We started our series with a big triple threat dive into the Disney Princesses- Snow White, Cinderella, and Brave. 

I’ll save all the analysis and conversation for the Podcasts- but it’s been an adventure, to say the least. And I’ve had Princess on the brain for a while. I’m trying to reclaim the term now- because after going through college crying to anyone who would listen that the Princess Stereotype is ruining our generation, I’m kinda backtracking on my original “proof” for that concept. If you watch Cinderella again, it’s actually pretty great. And ScreenPrism did a solid analysis of it on YouTube that snapped me out of my passive acceptance of “Princesses are Bad for Girls” stance. 

It’s been a doozy of a month for a few other reasons, too- my wallet got stolen last week (and happened to have almost all of my bridal shower checks in it), so I had to go through that big hullabullub and come to terms with loss and all that. It sucked, and all in all the whole week kinda sucked, but I’ve bounced back from all of the crap that was gunning for me since March 30. After taking a look at my horoscope, it seems the powers that be want to blame Mercury for being in retrograde, but whatever the cause I’m staying positive and ready to embrace the cosmic turnaround that’s apparently in place for me starting on Sunday when Mercury reverses itself and gets its shit together. 

Seriously, Mercury. Get your shit. Together. 

And at the risk of this blog becoming a weight loss blog, I’ve also adjusted my diet yet again, going from Tim Ferris-approved “Slow Carb” to the more generally accepted “Ketogenic” Diet, which essentially means I swapped beans for cheese and now can have berries every now and then. There’s a little more carb counting, but I’ve got a great app and am much happier overall. Still finding it next to impossible to break that 190 mark, even WITHOUT cheat day, which is a little frustrating... but ah well. Trying not to focus on the scale. Most of the men in my life are telling me I’m looking great (which is not at all necessary, but nice- and I DO appreciate it), and I’m exercising more and feeling healthier. So. Good. All good stuff. 

In other news, it’s been fun to diversify my work a little more. Co-hosting a podcast has been good to remind me that I’m a pretty intelligent and well-spoken person, and the fact that I’m able to keep pace with Pastor Robin talking about media and parenting, of all things, is encouraging to me. Same with the editing and mixing and mastering I’ve been doing lately- which is more than making up for my February-Mid March slump of barely any studio projects. It’s nice to keep busy in the studio (in addition to keeping busy with everything else). Not only that, but it’s something of a dream of mine to get to analyze and talk about media for a living- I love to do it. It’s one of the reasons I took so many English classes in college: analyzing books and movies and plays and the spoken word is one of my all-time favorite things. And writing off Disney movies as a business expense? What’s not to love about that??

7 week countdown until the wedding, too. And I tell you what, by the time May is over I’ll be ready for a nice vacation with my new husband! Or should I say Prince Charming?

[teamjacobthot]

twilight saga character tag!

thank you sm @softtwihoe for tagging me <3 i feel like im still new to the renaissance fandom on tumblr even tho i never stopped being a twihard so shit like this warms my heart <3

now my spicy twilight takes………………...

1. Character you find most relatable to you as a person?

the love of my life, without a doubt, 100% leah clearwater. mfs tried to make her feel bad for feeling her feelings but she was valid in all of them. also its canon that shes a scorpio but yall aint hear it from me

rosalie bc we have similar trauma (lmao :/) and like to disagree with people. i also love big dumb men

edward. as a fellow whiny musical pissbaby who cant let shit go, i get it

2. Character that didn’t have a POV in the books or certain unfinished manuscripts, but you wish did?

ok maybe this is super underground but sue!!! mf!!! clearwater!!! she had allllllll the tea on the pack and tbh i really wanted to see how she and her family were before and after harry’s death. that event was a really big deal (outside of just bella and edward) and set shit OFF in new moon

billy bc he also had hella tea and i bet he was super fucking conflicted during the ENTIRE saga bc he couldnt say shit to charlie!!! that shit sounds rough!!!!!

quil bc he was the last to phase and i just wanna know what he was going thru. he would’ve had hellaaaaa jokes too but smeyer doesnt care abt nonwhite characters so :/

charlie, assuming he supports the black lives matter movement

i guess overall i just wanna know how EVERYONE was doing in new moon bc that story ran DEEP. i want a midnight sun for new moon but for every character

nobody asked but new moon is the best in the saga and new moon stans have the best pussy

3. Character that’s underrated and deserves more recognition?

the entire wolf pack but wbk

riley but tbh i think its bc i just loved xavier samuel in the eclipse movie

the denali coven!!!! their story was incredible imo and while irina was a snitch, i understand why she snitched. she didnt deserve to die. the denalis deserve so much better and while garrett is cool to have around, that doesnt fill the void that irina left bc the volturi decided to be a bunch of haters. i want them to heal so bad. 

tanya gets a bad rep for having a crush on edward but she deserves better too

i’d like to read abt the vacations that the denalis with the cullens too

oh and all thats just BESIDES the succubus legend that tanya and kate and irina started in canon!!!!!!!! like??????????????????? they fucked and killed human men??????????? thats the story i wanna READ bitch!!!! thats my jennifer’s body (2009) fantasy!!!!! smeyer is a coward tho

btw carmen and esme are girlfriends :)

4. Character you thought was unnecessary for the story?

ok besides the obvious, and nobody drag me for it, but bree tanner. I get she was there to show us how fucked up the volturi are and to sorta predict bella as a newborn but……...we already knew the volturi kill mfs just for fun. if the cullens werent gonna adopt her we really didnt need many details on her. and regarding the newborn thing, bree’s role as a newborn didnt really mean shit bc bella ended up being ~the perfect newborn~ anyway!!!! smeyer tried to sell us the short second life of bree tanner as if there arent other worthy characters of having a spinoff novella about like leah or seth or rosalie or emmett or charlie or resume from bella’s ovary. that being said………..

resume, for multiple reasons including:

resume literally shouldnt exist. vampires shouldnt be able to have working sperm and even then, edward shouldve pulled out. he could barely even tongue kiss bella so wtf made him think he could cum in her????? whyyy didnt he use his big vampire brain to consider that????? 

resume seemed totally unwanted and unthought of??? bella and edward were so mf absorbed in each other like regular teen couples (with 1000x the intensity but still) that it didnt seem likely that theyd want a baby after fucking like three times anyway. miss bella “fuck them kids” swan also gave no indication of wanting children. ever. EYE would have simply aborted and went on to live my best vampire life :)

resumes existence defeats the purpose of imprinting bc theres no way she’d be able to conceive with jacob. at all. but we know smeyer doesnt think shit through

smeyer writing in resume ruined jacobs character even more esp coming off the shitshow that was eclipse. periodt

5. Top 5 female characters?

leah <3

rosalie

bella

sue

angela

6. Top 5 male characters?

jacob (pre-eclipse but that’s implied)

emmett

seth

quil/paul (i love them equally)

edward’s dumb ass <3 sometimes

7. Character interaction that didn’t happen but you wish it did?

rosalie and edward but only under the condition that he finally stops being a misogynistic pissbaby towards her and accepts her for the sexy legend that she is. i feel like they’d get along well but smeyer is anti-hottie and anti-talent so i guess we’ll never know :/

leah and someone who loves her and respects her and validates her feelings :)

JACOB AND HIS SISTERS. OR EVEN JUST RACHEL. she literallyyyyyyyyyy came home after YEARS in breaking dawn but he was too busy simping over bella to acknowledge her??? huh???

bella and a licensed therapist

edward and a licensed therapist

8. Character that deserves more development?

the whole entire wolf pack but wbk

more specifically, embry. whooooom is his father???

emmett. like we get it hes funny and hot but like……….spare depth maam? any spare depth????

9. Character who is your total opposite?

jasper bc he fought for people who look like me to be ENSLAVED and the fandom lets it slide for whatever reason :|

10. Character you warmed up to after experiencing the Renaissance?

edward, in some ways. i relate to him when im feeling extra self-loathing but then i get over it lmao. he’s still stupid tho

i used to think alice was annoying af (and i still kinda do tbh) but as a fashion hoe, i get it

charlie, sorta, even tho he’s a cop. i wasnt there for the original conversation on here but do yall think he supports black lives matter? idk tbh but we’ll never know bc smeyer probably doesnt know what police brutality is. anyways ive really enjoyed the discourse on his relationship with bella and how he doesnt trust edward

jacob <3 he’s always been my heart, my soul, my baby, my fuckin cinnamon apple, etc. but i love the posts that other fans/nonhaters have been making abt how warm and kind he was before smeyer fucked him over and how he deserves so much better. its like yes im glad youre seeing all the things that make me a team jacob thot :)

idk if yall have already been tagged but im tagging @howlonghaveyoubeenseventeen @leahclearwaterdefensesquad @leahclearvvater and @bellas-dumptruck-ass! also anyone can fill this out and say i tagged them <3

#this took 3 times to post bc tumblr stays on my neck but #ask things #twilight saga #twilight renaissance #hot takes