#it probably sounds stupid

[whyyoualwayssoradical]

realized i was gay in middle school but at the time with all the protestant pentecostal holiness churching i had, it made my perspective see it as just giving in to "sin". i remember completely breaking down one night at like the precipice of the realization of what and who i really was but i was so committed to being christian or whatever i went the complete opposite direction mentally and thought i had to stop "sinning". i don't know maybe i'm just stupid and none of this makes sense to anyone but it's like i was so determined to live up to my mom's expectations and her wanting me to be a good christian and me being cut off from the rest of the world i just took it and buried it as deep as i could and tried everything to blend in as straight but likely not as well as i thought i might have been. the only thing that really mattered perception wise was that i knew if any kind of rumor made it back to my family about my sexual orientation i was going to experience some kind of hell on earth. so it didn't really matter what i got called at school as long as nothing that was said could amount to me actually potentially being gay, so i mentally just ruled it out so to speak and just tried to be Not Gay if you can even believe that's possible to do as like a middle schooler, i just know i was terrified of anyone perceiving me or anything i did as incorrect in regards to my family. basically small enough town everyone knew who i was or their parents knew who i was and knew my parents or someone that knew my parents and basically anything i did was under a microscope because i was the Baby of the <family name> and that's who i always was. i was my dad's son or my mom's son or the younger brother of my brothers.

looking back everything makes sense to me now i think. i thought i had to be straight and there were nothing else, i thought it was inevitable that i was going to have to be intimate with the opposite sex and i hated the idea of that, i didnt even understand why people dated each other, let alone get married and do the required things to have children. i was always friends with more girls than boys but once i got to middle school boys and girls just hanging out wasn't like a thing anymore for some reason socially. i hated boys so much, mean assholes all of them so i always tried to hang out with girls but eventually i stopped being allowed to. i had all these weird and warped perceptions of everything social related and i just never understood any of it and i was just trying to recognize patterns and try to blend in to not stick out but i was still obviously very different to some kids and i eventually figured out how to blend in well enough that most kids just left me alone by late middle school.

i don't know i feel like my mind is so completely messed up and unraveling it has been a monumental task

#i dont know this is what i remember and what i can best make out #its all really confusing #protestantism really fucks you up #still afraid of my dad potentially just wanting to kill me for being gay #sorry #always afraid to talk about these experiences because of how it will get interpreted and people often misinterpret me #i dont know how else to describe it all #it probably sounds stupid #maybe delete maybe not

[vaynglories]

specific ship dynamic that makes me insane:

chivalrous warrior who wears their whole heart on their sleeve & radiates devotion from every pore x the shifty bastard who would drown their own hands in an ocean of blood for the other one's sake without hesitation and never say a word about it

#(pls note: they are equally stupid in love with each other but shifty bastard is violently allergic to emotional honesty) #shipping #ship dynamics #wild shrieks.txt #if you follow me on the brainrot sideblog and are thinking 'hey that sounds like-' yeah. yeah. you're probably right 😔 #i'm goin thru it let me live!!!!!

[azuries]

fellas you ever thought of a scenario where mike had a terrible day in school and so he decided to try to contact will after trying for so long, thinking itll be different this time and his fate being kind to him, but then getting nothing. well now you have

#byler #piano arts #mike wheeler #will byers #yes those eyebags imply he cried!! #stranger things #literally cant stop thikning about the potential dialogue #''hey will #''its mike.. i know its been a while and .. youre probably busy. i mean its school hours. but you should be done now right? '' #''i hear a lot from el but i dont think she ever talks about you. howre you doing? hows cali?'' #''i dont know i sound so needy dont i?... i just.. i guess.. *sigh* i miss your voice.'' #he hangs up from the nonexistent line on the other side. he rubs the bridge of his nose and whispers ''stupid'' to himself. #did i just write a mini fic in the tags ahahah yez

[dumplingsjinson]

Hi! I don't know if you've done this already but will you do dialogue prompts for close friends who start having feelings for each other? Thanks!

List of “so like… I’ve got the feels for you. now what?” prompts 

“This song reminds me of you.” “…It’s a love song.” “Yeah, exactly.” 

“I think I might need to be hospitalised for possible heart abnormalities, or possibly cardiac arrest.” “What, why? Are you okay? You look okay—” “No, because my heart keeps beating the fuck out of my chest when I’m around you and I don’t know what kind of disease I’ve come down with and frankly, I’m really scared.” 

“You’re looking a lil’ different these days.” “Different how?” “I don’t know, I just… You look less shitty?” “…Wow. Thanks a bunch, that’s greatly appreciated.” “No, I didn’t mean it that way, damn it— I’m not the best with dishing out compliments.”

“Is it just me or are things a little awkward between us lately?” “What do you mean, nothing’s awkward between us. Like, at all! We’re, like, super cool buddies. What could be awkward about that?” “Everything about that was awkward.” 

“Is it weird that I’ve been wanting to hold your hand lately or…?”

“Someone’s been slipping notes into my locker and they’re so, so sweet and I wish I knew who has been doing this.” “Oh, yeah? That’s… That’s very nice of them.” “Their handwriting’s a little suspicious, though. Familiar, you know? They look kind of like yours.” “…Oh. Well, uh… That can’t be.”

“Who do you like?” “…You know them very well.” “Usually that’s not a very good sign but with you? That’s… That’s a great sign. Is it me?” 

“You asshole, you’ve stolen something of mine. What the hell? Who gave you the permission? The audacity.” “What did I steal?” “My heart, dumbass.” 

“You know, on second thoughts… I… We could be pretty good together, I think. I don’t know. I could be wrong. Or I could be so fucking right that we end up getting married and I whisk you away into the sunset and to our foreverland. The choice is yours.” 

“Okay, fuck, I’m not flirting for fun. This isn’t me being friendly, either. I’m flirting for real. I’m flirting to get cuffed. And frankly, I want to be cuffed by you.” “…Oh.”

#the asker probably wanted something fluffy and less stupid sounding but i don’t live to deliver apparently #so i’m sorry lmfao #prompt list title is inspired by twice’s “the feels” #go give it a listen! <3 #this song has me DEAD everytime #i MISS THEM CAN THEY COME BACK TO SYDNEY #otp prompts #prompts #dialogue prompts #writing prompts #friends in love prompts #idiots in love #idiots in love prompts #fluff prompts #friends to lovers prompts #confession prompts #request

[onesidedradiostatic]

VOX'S TURTLENECK IS RED AND KNIT - a fully comprehensive post

STOP BEING IN DENIAL YOU FOOLS. the poll may be over, and red may have won, but some of you still don't understand so here's a consolidation of all my points, if you haven't noticed this discourse is VERY serious and important

----------------------------------

COLOUR

as I've brought up in that godforsaken poll, vox's turtleneck is red because it matches the colour of val's wings

as you can see, these are both taken from the section of the photo that's under the same shadow

if you want to argue that part of the turtleneck is not the same lighting as val's sleeve

you can see that comparing vox's turtleneck sleeve which is RIGHT ABOVE val's sleeve and therefore DEFINITELY the same lighting, it's still a similar colour. therefore, vox's turtleneck is definitely a similar colour to val's wings and since we know val's wings are red, vox's turtleneck must also be red.

okay but what if val was ALSO wearing orange?

possible! but also I'd put that as less likely since the wings are PART of his body and more likely didn't change colour

not to mention it matches up with vox's eyes which we also know are red, yes it's possible that vox ALSO had orange eyes because he is a screen but what are the odds that both vox and val for some reason originally had orange eyes and orange wings respectively then changed to red? it's more likely that they were always red and the photo is just washed out to make it look orange.

however, I do accept people who see all the red stuff as orange because at least you admit the colours match, also admire the dedication to doubling down on orange

THE LIGHTING ON VOX'S TURTLENECK! IT'S CLEARLY YELLOW!

yellow is easily debunked because there are actual yellow things present in the photo we can compare to! gonna be reiterating from a previous post

see the heart on val's belt? we KNOW that's yellow

now let's go back to our favourite picture

that's the boy! let's start comparing it

val's inner left sleeve matches up with the yellow heart! therefore it is also yellow, and unless val is wearing mismatched inner sleeves, this indicates his right inner sleeve is ALSO yellow

so all of these! they are yellow!

and we can see, said yellow does not match vox's turtleneck at all, not even when I pick out the lighting on it, it doesn't match the turtleneck in any of the lighting, therefore vox's turtleneck is most DEFINITELY not yellow.

it being red also matches up with vox's current colour palette being blues and reds and it makes sense that he had the same palette back then too.

if you believe vox's eyes and val's wings are both also orange, it could be orange. I can live with that. but it is most likely red.

----------------------------------

okay but what about the stripes?

THERE ARE NO FUCKING STRIPES Y'ALL DRIVE ME INSANE. MORE INSANE THAN YELLOW TRUTHERS.

THOSE VERTICAL LINES YOU SEE. those are BLACK LINES, which are the OUTLINE, REPRESENTING THE KNITTING PATTERN.

I SWEAR SOME OF YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW SWEATERS WORK.

but when I colour-pick it it's not black!

my fucking god PLEASE tell me you know how low quality black lines work. time to reiterate more points from my previous posts!

you understand that the outline around val should be black right?

but would you take a look at that, colour picking it makes it look like just a darker colour of the inner colour. why? BECAUSE IT'S A SMALL PICTURE THAT'S OVERALL IN LOW QUALITY, so the black gets thinned down to hell that you can't even see the black anymore. BUT IT'S STILL A BLACK OUTLINE. THE SAME LOGIC APPLIES TO VOX'S SWEATER

let's use a normal line as an example

here is a black line

here is that same black line resized down to a lower quality.

NOTICE HOW IT'S GREY NOW? are we going to insist it was never black now because it's sized down?? NO. IT'S JUST A LOWER QUALITY BLACK LINE THAT LOSES OPACITY AS IT'S SIZED DOWN. THIS IS THE LOGIC I GO BY.

okay but what if they were black vertical stripe--

YOU ARE KILLING ME NO IT IS NOT. IT'S A SWEATER IT MAKES MORE SENSE FOR IT TO BE A KNITTING PATTERN THAN VERTICAL STRIPES. but okay. at least you still see the same thing as me you just... interpret... it differently.

but I swear on god, the black lines represent the KNITTING PATTERN, it makes MUCH more sense for it to be that because it's a sweater.

arguments about orange or yellow going together better with vox's jacket are extremely irrelevant to this argument when 90% of red things in hazbin hotel would probably look better if they weren't red. I'm not arguing that it even looks better! I'm just arguing that it is what it is and you should ACKNOWLEDGE THE TRUTH.

AND THEREFORE. THE STUPID FUCKING TURTLENECK IS RED AND KNIT. I REST MY CASE.

#osrs.txt #vox's stupid fucking turtleneck #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox #vox #vox hazbin #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel #if you've been following along these probably sound familiar #I just wanted to put them all together #now when vox walks up with his stupid fucking red turtleneck in season 2 I can point to this post and say I was right

[xbuster]

タクト口上妄想 by @yushi_Ma1 ※Translated and typeset by me

#wonderful precure! #wonderful precure #precure #komugi inukai #iroha inukai #yuki nekoyashiki #mayu nekoyashiki #another layer of the joke is probably that the obvious chant for mayu is 'riri-riri' (lily lily) but mayu's stupid #obviously those notes above the chants weren't originally there #but i felt like i needed to show that 'fure-fure' actually DOES mean something #since japanese doesn't have a direct equivalent to the 'hu' sound they use the same sound as the one for 'fu' so 'hooray' sounds like 'fure #and 'rin-rin' is meaningless #so i just put notes over 'wan-wan' and 'nyan-nyan' for consistency even though they're more well-known

[pillowmoment]

My chance to reiterate that if you haven’t played this game yet. Go do that. Then come talk to me and tell me which weird man you like more. Then we’ll talk.

#pillow activities #Jazzpunk #does anybody look at that tag anymore besides me? #Ok… i’ll walk away with my head down…. Sigh.. #I love the npc side quests they’re so stupid #Tiny ass fandom 💀💀💀💀 #Sorry 2 anyone who isn’t following me that sees this #And sorry 2 my followers you probably don’t understand #No actually i remembered. I DON’T LOOK THROUGH THE JAZZPUNK TAG because errrrr it’s kinda lame in there #It’s like walking into a club and everyone is just sitting quietly and there’s no music just the sound of people sighing occassionally #Sooo sad too i’m upset about this

[ganondoodle]

i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo

#ganondoodles talks #also probably sounds like self pity #but this feeling hits everytime i see a super popular artist be the popular cool artist #i am a little weird i know that and thats not somethign bad i think #but the internet never gets to see that much of me #i tend to write posts when i am at my worst bc it has to go somewhere #so the image it tells people is that im a weirdly strong opiniod freak that gets breakdowns over nothing #i also dont feel like im otherwise -cool tm- enough to balance that out #i dont think my art is as stylized or as inventive as others nor am i cool to interact with bc idk how to be cool to interact with #i feel double bad when i misstepped with someone i used to talk to bc of something stupid ... or just dont know what i did wrong #im guessing its especially when i am in that spiraling state of mind where i really am not myself tbh #it still feels very bad bc i feel like i can never make it up to anyone again #sorry i acted like a jerk my brain was exploding in emotions in a desperate attempt to deal with something idk how to deal with- #-and made me not act like myself but now i feel really dumb about it #doesnt sound like a good excuse #... i want to thank those that do stick with me #even if i acted strange sometimes- even if i disappointed sometimes- even when i couldnt keep a promise #there are little things that still make me angry at myself #like that one time i asked in the tags whod read as long as the end of them and if someone did shoudl send me an ask so id draw a lil thing #and i got two #and i kept trying to remeber oh shit i need to do that and forgetting again/not having energy for it in a loop #i still feel like a jerk about it but now its probably too late #i wish i could answer all asks i get but man my energy for that is always rock bottom #no matter how much i enjoy the ask #and i love getting asks!!! #im sorry :((

[fidgetspringer-art]

✷ Archmage Tethry Ikos ✷

#my art #artists on tumblr #illustration #digital art #DnD #dungeons and dragons #homebrew #ttrpg #orignal character #ocs #my ocs #drow #Tethry #Setting: Heim #I wasn't sure about posting this with no context because this guy has a LOT of context #but i have no idea how to sum things up in a way that a) won't be an essay or b) sound fucking stupid #so uh #enjoy this purple man i guess? #I'm still trying to figure out exactly how to design that cloak cause it has some importance #but i just wanted to get his face down on paper #so here he is #Archmage (regretfully) #Professor of arcane dialects #and reluctant global posterboy for 'modern' arcane advancement #I'll maybe probably talk more about Tethry and his role in this setting later but yeah #i have no idea where to even begin

[girlwiththegreenhat]

Why the fuck are people on Twitter upset about nonbinary robots. Transformers are aliens, why would they follow another species gender binary based on reproduction when they don't even reproduce sexually. If anything, ALL the robots should use they/them.

#liz blogs #transformers #i need to finish earthspark #conservatives won't survive when aliens come to earth #imagine going to another planet and trying to translate pronouns #but either theres more than two or theyre not based on reproduction #how do you figure out if youre a glerp or a blongo or a dee when you dont even have a yundle #and guess what else. if the robots all have one gender. and they use different Earth Pronouns #that dont line up with - in conservative terms - the pronouns they Should have #guess what. all the robots are trans now. #this is probably fucking incoherent i just woke up but man i hate when people think the universe revolves around humans #smash the gender binary to pieces #i write this from an angle to shit on their stupid argument i know nonbinary people can use gendered pronouns as well #the point is its hard to translate. frankly we also deserve big macho bots picking she her because it sounds nice #and little femmebots picking he him because it sounds cool and they want to seem Tough in earth terms #hasbro hire me i love robots and I'll write a transformers show so good it'll make conservatives literally explode

[marvelousartcatastrophe]

Qi Rong is my favorite character rn and I fel bad for everyone who has to listen to me talk about him. I never really post my art her but since its fanart I figured why not.

I am so scared to post fanart anywhere because what if people don't like my interpretation of certain characters. Like this is how I imagine Qi Rong (with the outfit from the manhua tho) AND I FEEL LIKE SOMEONES GONNA COME AFTER ME FOR GIVING HIM A FAT ASS TOOTH GAP. I just really feel that he has really shitty teeth. You know this guy doesn't give a damn about dental care.

#art catastrophe #I LOVE HIM SO MUCH #he is my blorbos #in my head he sounds like beetlejuice #but im probably the only one who thinks that #and I've had my friend check with their tgcf friend to see if this was a common belief #and I got “yes but without the chainsmoker voice” #he 100% has that stupid chainsmoker raspy unhinged maniac voice in my head #heaven official's blessing #tgcf #mxtx #mxtx tgcf #mxtx fanart #tgcf fanart #tgcf season 2 #tian guan ci fu #Qi Rong #heaven's official blessing #Qi Rong fanart #heaven official's blessing season two

[folkfashion]

I guess I'm on strike, too

Well. Yesterday was my first, strike. It's been a week now and I still refuse to believe it. I've been chased by cops in the street many times, everyday a new riot, fires in the streets. I've been tear gased so much, yesterday I felt my whole skin burning, choking and crying hoping it would only stop. I've seen people being beaten up in front of my eyes, not being able to intervene without getting arrested too. Met wonderful people. A solidarity I've been crying for for years. Seen so many buildings burn on my phone and some in front of my eyes too. It's kinda weird, isn't it ? You see all the pictures and it seems so much more impressive than right in front of your eyes. Today someone lost one. An eye. The president told us someone getting killed could stop the reform. I don't want that. No one does. The violence get much worse by the day. I'm always on the front line and I'm not gonna stop being there. I've been an activist pretty much my whole life, but a scared one only since yesterday. Anyone can get arrested, beaten up now. But we're numerous, faster than the BRAV, faster than the CRS (I know I am, I've outrun them many times now). I know how resilient we can be.

Well. I don't know why I'm telling you all of this. It has nothing to do with the blog. I love you all. The fact that every empire will burn one day is the only thing that gives me hope. If you too are in France, we are living history. May we change our world. Run fast, be strong. Do not trust Le pen, Macron, any of them. Only the people can help eachother now.

#i don't know how to tag this #absurd rant but #im pretty tired #and for once #i want to talk about this without scaring my friends or family #this blog is in pause for the moment #sorry #it probably sounds very stupid from afar

[rotisseries]

can you believe mike literally said "it's not my fault you don't like girls" and just let that sit? like. he didn't even try to backtrack. no "I mean yet! it's not my fault you don't have a girlfriend yet!" he just breezed right past it. "it's not my fault you're gay!" right into "I'm not trying to be a jerk okay?" he fully just let it stay like that. he's insane

#like obviously he was projecting and he wasn't intentionally calling will gay #bc if he even SUSPECTED that will was gay this story would be going a bit different #but he's not stupid. he still knows how that sounds. he said “it's not my fault you don't like girls!” #and that was his full and complete sentence. and he obviously probably meant “yet” but that's not what he SAID #and he's not stupid he's gotta know that saying “it's not my fault you don't like girls” #sounds an awful lot like “it's not my fault you're fucking GAY” #AND HE LITERALLY DOESN'T TRY TO BACKTRACK OR REPHRASE IT AT ALL AKSJFJFKSKD #HE'S SO INSANE PLEASE #stranger things #byler #mike wheeler

[ratwithhands]

i wonder when anyone is going to tell the league (in Battle Addict au) that straight jackets are actually pretty bad at keeping people actually restrained when they can think clearly hruoiehgboerhg (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivuuJxX1hXg (when praciced, its even easier to get out of than shown here lol)) but this au is incredibly interesting! fascinating looking at how the public reacts to things in the extreme and how the people who they target suffer for it, and how much misinformation is spread. really got me curious how they sped their time and how this effects emmets mental state. it cant be easy with everyone acting like hes a monster. and while ingo doesn't get the majority of the attention- if must be so hard to see his brother suffering like this. and im sure he isn't spared so scorn as well. really really fascinating- and a verrrry clear reminder of what people used to think mental disorders were like and how people with them were treated.

Funny thing: that’s partially why there’s some minor edits to Emmet’s straitjacket. There’s a narrow bar that his arms have to slot through, as well as a set of belts tied to his upper arms to keep them from moving too far from resting position. Homeboy weaseled out of the first one after like two weeks and they said "ok do it again this time mf" and handed him the new one.

The league would probably put Emmet on "leave" (house arrest) if they saw him get out of another one/realize the strait wouldn't work. That is probably what's keeping him from breaking out more than the actual jacket is.

As for mental state,

The household is certainly seeing more absences and mental health days. The worst part about the diagnosis for Emmet is that everything he used to enjoy has lost its worth because any time he sits down to study, he's just proving he is crazy and battle obsessed. He forces himself out of his old habits but he doesn't have anything to fill the void so he's stuck in a perpetual state of being exhausted and disinterested. Ingo may or may not be subconsciously picking up these beliefs as well

Thank you for your ask! Took a while to respond cause of school, but I do hope to outline more about their lives and habits when I get free time. I gotta run though, so see you guys later ^^

#submas #submas au #au #ingo #subway master ingo #ingo pokemon #nobori #emmet #subway master emmet #emmet pokemon #kudari #Elesa's straitjacket is easier to escape with one layer‚ but the secondary restraint keeps everything locked in place #League straitjacket would probably have a few loopholes‚ but it's honesty more uncomfortable than anything else #oh speaking of‚ Elesa's straitjacket works better on Emmet because of the mental block‚ just like the threat of leave #he wants to be grateful and not damage the garments + they're more comfortable so he's fine to not try as hard #ALSO I should really sketch the magazines/photo edits circulating the media‚ one conflict in the plot is Ingo finding them on sale #at a pharmacy/convenience store and bringing them home to discuss with Emmet if they should bring it up with the League/Court #not to mention friends/coworkers bringing up posts they've seen and asking if they're true‚ there's probably a stupid amount of rumours #probably many instances of paparazzi catching pictures of them and just coming up with bullshit to make the image sound more interesting

[deklo]

i am genuinely sad that watcher is putting their content behind a paywall LOLLLLL FOOLS!!!!

#i think this is a. bad idea #and i will not be paying :/ not to be controversial or anything but i literally pay for youtube premium :/ #also apparently they were going to delete and move all of their already posted content??? but maybe changed their minds??? either way wow #disappointing not gonna lie lmao #also i saw that international viewers won’t be able to use the subscription anyways? so they’re just losing probably Tons of viewers? #literally sounds so stupid

[thebluestbluewords]

re-reading Mal’s Spellbook

Evie should be meaner, actually??? But also, a) Jay has totally fine handwriting in the spellbook, the font they chose for his writing is way more legible than the one they chose for Mal, and b) is this what the kids are mean about these days???

#me writing a silly little fic where Jay has genuinely awful handwriting due to like. undiagnosed dyslexia. #which is important for his school character arc because he genuinely believes that he’s bad at school #and also relies almost completely on his verbal memory of whatever they went over in class #he can debate just fine!! His logic is sound #he’s just #really slow at reading and his handwriting is genuinely atrocious #he dictates essays to the school laptop they ‘stole’ from the library #the others read assignments out loud for their shared classes #and like. He’s not stupid. He can cover for it. But the thing about being in school full time and covering for a learning disability #is that it’s exhausting and unsustainable #and going to lead to a breakdown eventually #even if that’s just failing a test #and being found out #anyway if anybody is still reading my older fic this is why Jay’s in the offset testing blocks in my ongoing cinderellaverse #he gets extra time on tests because of the dyslexia #he probably also uses a red filter over the page when he reads because that’s the breakthrough that helped my irl dyslexic sister #anyway someday I’ll actually write all of my school thoughts into a real fic