#it was like the only thing they could do better was the casting

[windvexer]

How do you feel about using multiple spells for a single goal? Doing wealth spells one after another until you're out of difficulties, for example, versus doing the one and letting it be?

I've got a chapter in a book I'm probably never going to publish about this. It's long. tl;dr: hell yeah cast a lot of spells for one thing, that's a great idea. Upg alert, etc.

Compound Magic: Many Hands Make Light Work

Compound magic is the phrase I’m using to discuss two similar ideas.

The idea is that if working one act of magic can affect our physical world to any degree, then working multiple acts of magic on the same subject can affect it to a greater degree.

This works at both the macro and micro levels.

By “macro,” I mean casting entire spells to influence various situations.

If you’re casting a home prosperity spell, casting multiple prosperity spells tends to be more beneficial than casting only one. Following our Witch-as-Monarch metaphor, you can cast spells that are like geologists seeking resources, like road-builders to strengthen trade routes, or like festival celebrations to revitalize your citizens.

More literally, if there is a situation that is resistant to change or in need of serious transformation, you can build a spellcasting altar dedicated to that single issue.

Spellcasting altars are useful in the practical sense that if you’ve got a whole altar for it, you might not forget that it’s something you wanted to work on.

They’re also very useful in the magical sense that as you dedicate a new “counsel room” to this topic and begin filling it with advisors, knights, heroes, spies, managers, and agents, and then continuously empower your Allies to work on your behalf through dedicated spellwork, all of these powers begin to compound and support each other.

In other words: the action of casting multiple spells can have additive or supportive effect which helps all the spells work better.

Not only this, but spells can begin to file away the rust on a situation and get the gears working - but run out of energy before the mechanism is truly brought to life.

If a single spell didn’t appear to manifest as desired, that doesn’t mean it didn’t do anything. It could mean that the situation was improved behind the scenes, laying a better foundation for success for your next spell.

Therefore, compound magic also means cleverly assigning spells to loosen up a situation and prepare it for change, to banish potential roadblocks, to protect the desired outcome, to empower the desired aspects of the situation, to bind the unwanted aspects, and so forth. In this manner, casting compound magic doesn’t necessarily mean to cast prosperity-generating spells over and over – it can also mean to cast banishings, protections, cleansings, and so forth, in the pursuit of prosperity.

This may all sound like a lot of work, but recall that we’re talking about very resistant situations, or situations in need of a lot of transformation before they suit your tastes. However, I hope you’ll agree with me that this concept in general actually really helps take a load off, because:

If your strategy is to work multiple acts of magic, then no single act of magic you work ever has to be perfect, or even exceptional.

Spellcasting anxiety is very real, and in my opinion boils down to the worry not only that unless everything is perfect then everything is ruined, but furthermore, that if any single spell doesn’t work it means the practitioner is a fraud.

If you instead adopt the mindset that it’s quite alright to need to work three or four acts of magic to influence a sticky situation, each spell feels less like you’re an actor making your debut performance in front of a judgmental audience, and much more like you’re going to try and treat the problem with a vinegar spray first, but if that doesn’t lift the bonds that’s quite alright because you’ve got a baking soda scrub to try next.

This isn’t to say that I think every single situation is going to require multiple spells to make the magic “work.” Far from it. But I don’t find there to be any utility at all in assuming every situation should be fixable by only one spell, and if that spell fails then there’s something wrong.

Overall, I find that the witch who often engages in acts of magic to keep the home safe and prosperous will find that this compound effect begins to work organically, and that over time all acts of magic eventually lead to an enchanted life, to greater or lesser degrees.

On the “micro” side of this concept we can examine the enchantment of a single object or formula.

Instead of considering that we can use multiple spells to influence a situation, we can see that we can work many smaller acts of magic over time to produce a single powerful spell.

Think about woodburning a very hard, difficult piece of wood. During the first session you may only get an outline of the design before you’re exhausted and in need of a break. The wood is still imprinted upon, but it’s far from the completed project you envisioned.

During the next woodburning session, and the next, the design is slowly filled in until it meets your standards of satisfaction.

This is conceptually very similar to re-casting the same enchantment over and over on a single object until desired results are obtained.

This is extremely useful for the pragmatic witch who may not have the ability to plan out spells on specific times and days, or who must act now without every ideal ingredient on hand.

And not only that, but it’s also useful for the witch who would just like to have some fun with magic and doesn’t want to twiddle their thumbs waiting for the most ideal possible moment to act.

If a witch would like to work up a pot of Noontide Shield Oil (pg. 34), but the working felt less than lustrous, the formula can simply be re-enchanted again next Sunday to deepen and solidify the enchantment. Or, suppose the original oil had to be worked in less than ideal conditions, or perhaps even with entire ingredients missing: the missing ingredients can be added later on, the spell re-cast over the same vessel in more ideal conditions, and so forth.

The same goes for any spell vessel, formula, charmed ingredient, or enchanted object.

These things can be fully re-enchanted by performing the original spell over again, switching focus from adding ingredients to empowering and instructing ingredients already added.

But they can also be encouraged in more minor ways, especially through regular feeding (pg. 9).

I think it’s important to note here that we’re basically talking about cooking. A chicken soup where you have to omit the chicken, and then shred up rotisserie leftovers and just add it to the broth when having leftovers, is not going to produce identical results as if you had been able to cook the chicken in the soup.

Either way, you’ve still got chicken soup - it's just that an enchantment made in the most ideal conditions is not going to be identical to an enchantment made in non-ideal conditions and later fortified.

So I don’t believe that it’s correct to say that ideal conditions don’t matter. I think they do matter, and that practitioners will notice an appreciable improvement if they are able to work with ideal circumstances.

But I also believe it’s correct to say that if you continuously re-cast enchantments towards the same objects and formulas over and over again, while supplementing missing or lacking factors, over time that enchantment deepens and becomes more permanent and more powerful.

Just like macro compound magic, I think that this helps reduce the difficulty in working powerful enchantments. You don’t have to work yourself up to exhaustion casting a single powerful enchantment that wipes out your ability to work magic for three days. You can meter your energy and pour out small amounts of your power, when needed or as desired, and slowly build up powerful magics around you.

Then, when an important “macro” situation arises, consider how it would feel to be able to reach for a variety spell vessels and formulas you’ve already been empowering for months, keeping them fresh and alive through periodic attention and feeding. Things begin to feel much less like a witch alone in a room, and much more like an empowered monarch surrounded by Allies.

#answered #long post

[tinyundercover]

pepper & felix

part thirteen

:))))))) cw: excessive alcohol consumption word count: 4.1k

Pepper did not understand alcohol.

He was aware that humans drank it, but he was appalled as to why. In the last few years he had run into his fair share of humans that seemed to be overcome by the effects of alcohol, pink-faced and dizzy and loud, and he had always avoided them. Why would humans do this to themselves?

He and Basil had grown up in a bakery, surrounded by warmth and sugar, so Pepper hadn’t been exposed to alcohol until he moved out at the age of nineteen. After two weeks of traveling, he had found his first home– a small house occupied by a middle-aged human couple. It had been frightening to live somewhere entirely new, but it had turned out to be a comfortable home for him.

For two years, he had observed the human couple, and had been confused by their occasional consumption of alcohol. Once, after running across some leftover liquor in a glass, he had even tried a sip. His curiosity had left him choking and spluttering and absolutely revolted by the humans’ drink. His confusion had only increased.

After the humans had noticed their things going missing and had begun to set out mouse traps, Pepper had been forced to leave their house and search for a new home. He had made his way into an apartment complex around the time he turned twenty-one years old, and had built a new home within the walls of an introverted, blonde human, who Pepper pleasantly noticed very rarely drank alcohol.

Now, he stood on the arm of the human’s couch, staring up at said human in front of him. 

“I thought you didn’t like parties,” he pointed out, brow furrowing. 

Felix sighed, features soft. “I don’t, not really,” he admitted, leaning down to see Pepper better. “But I kind of have to go to this one.”

“Why?” Pepper asked incredulously.

“I dunno… it’s a cast party, so it would be a little rude for me not to show up, I guess. I already told everyone I would go.”

Pepper shook his head, astounded. He couldn’t imagine attending any kind of party, especially one he didn’t want to go to. As far as he knew, human parties consisted of large groups of humans getting together to be incredibly loud and take up space. It sounded awful.

“I’m only gonna go for a little bit,” Felix continued, gaze dancing over Pepper’s uneasy form. It was hard to tell why Pepper was so uncomfortable with this. 

To be honest, Pepper wasn’t sure why he was so nervous, either. Looking up at Felix, taking in the entirety of the human’s tall and imposing form, his stomach fluttered. Felix, surely, would be able to take care of himself in the presence of so many other humans. Pepper shouldn’t worry.

Pepper nodded slowly, crossing his arms. “Alright.”

“It’ll be okay,” Felix promised, straightening up. He wore a baggy graphic tee and blue jeans, reminding Pepper that this was a comfortable, casual event for the human. The borrower forced himself to take a deep breath and nodded again.

“Right,” he agreed unhappily. “I’ll see you later.”

However, as listened to the sound of the front door closing moments later, he couldn’t fight the feeling that something awful was bound to happen.

–

Forty people was a lot to fit into Ricky’s small apartment.

Felix weaved his way through the crowd in the kitchen, gaze searching, feeling incredibly out of place. Every so often someone would stop him to say hi, only to abandon the conversation a moment later, making Felix wonder how useless his social skills could be. Relief filled his chest when he spotted Breanna and Owen, chatting by the wall, and he gratefully walked over to them. “Hey.”

“Felix!” Breanna lit up instantly. “I was wondering when you’d get here.”

Felix checked his phone, sheepishly observing the fact that he was over an hour late. He had stalled by talking to Pepper for far too long. “Is Alice here?”

Owen took a sip of his drink, because unlike Felix and Breanna, he was happy to have a few drinks when they went to parties. “Yeah, somewhere.”

“What are you doing here?”

Owen grinned. “I like parties.”

Felix let out a breathy laugh. Despite the fact that Owen wasn’t in the cast, it was nice to see a familiar face. Owen had accompanied his three friends to so many theater events that he might as well be considered an honorary theater member at this point.

The next twenty minutes were bearable, as Felix lingered by the wall with his friends. Music filled the air, blasting from a speaker, so Felix was forced to lean in close to his friends to even hear them properly. 

When Alice approached them, Felix almost forgot the weird situation the two of them were currently in, more relieved to have another face he recognized as a friend. Her black hair had been pulled into a slicked-back ponytail, revealing the sharpness of her expression as she glanced over Felix. A red solo cup was held in her hand. “Hey, Felix.”

“Hey.” Felix opened his mouth, but found himself at a loss for words, hesitantly turning away from Alice to listen in on Breanna and Owen’s conversation. The tension in the air suddenly filled his lungs.

The past week of rehearsals had been uncomfortable, to say the least. Felix and Alice didn’t say much to each other, both of them gravitating towards Breanna as their closest friend. Felix didn’t know what to do, or how to repair his relationship with Alice.

Were they fighting? He thought that they had cleared things up, but Alice’s lingering frowns and cold eyes made him feel like they weren’t past the borrower situation. He wanted to bring it up to her, but he was terrified of somehow betraying the borrowers, or rubbing salt into the freshly opened wound of his and Alice’s relationship. He didn’t know what to do.

“Rehearsals have been crazy, huh?” Alice remarked suddenly.

Felix met her gaze, peering intently. “Yeah,” he agreed after a moment, grateful that Alice had broken the tension first. “Yeah, how have you been holding up?”

Alice laughed, then took a long sip of her drink. Felix vaguely noticed the pink twinge in her cheeks. “If Mrs. Shelton makes us run the ballroom dance one more time, I’m gonna lose it.”

Felix let out a laugh at that. In rehearsal yesterday, he and Alice had spent hours working on one singular dance scene between Ariel and Eric. It had become exhausting after a while, especially considering the fact that the two of them were barely on speaking terms and had to act like they were madly in love. Being able to laugh about it brought a warm feeling into Felix’s chest. 

After a few minutes, Breanna and Owen tuned into Felix and Alice’s conversation. The four of them together, laughing and comfortable, was something Felix had missed greatly. He hoped that Alice felt the same.

An hour into the party Ricky organized karaoke, which the cast grew ecstatic for. The majority of them crammed into the large space of the living room, and Felix and Alice watched in amusement as Breanna dragged Owen towards a microphone and insisted that he sing a duet with her. 

“Owen should sing more,” Alice commented as the redhead reluctantly began a few rocky notes, grinning at Breanna. “He’s got a good voice.”

Felix hummed in agreement, arms crossing. The pair of them lingered by the door to the kitchen, and after a moment Alice peered into her empty cup. “I’m going to the kitchen,” she decided. “Do you want anything?”

“I don’t really drink.”

“Forgot. Sorry.” Alice shrugged and slipped away.

Felix turned back to Breanna and Owen, who were now belting enthusiastically into their mics. An uncomfortable feeling fixed around Felix’s chest, and he turned and followed Alice into the kitchen.

Alice stood alone by the counter, filling her solo cup from a bowl of spiked punch. She glanced up as Felix approached. “Changed your mind?”

“No, I just… wanted to talk to you,” Felix admitted, leaning against the counter. Alice eyed him, bringing her cup to her lips, expectant. Felix hesitantly continued. “Is everything… okay with us?”

Alice took a few extra seconds to set her cup down, stalling. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.” Felix kept his voice light, raising his eyebrows. Alice’s lips twitched into a smile, then dropped, and she lowered her gaze. “I mean, you’re my closest friend, Alice. I don’t want things to get weird between us just because of one little mistake.”

Alice nodded slowly, continuing to avoid Felix’s gaze. Her fingers drummed over her cup. “I don’t know.”

Felix’s heart fell. “What?”

“I don’t know,” Alice repeated, blue gaze flickering. There was no malice or anger in her quiet voice. At Felix’s startled silence, she continued, turning her body towards him. “I mean, are those… people still in your apartment?”

Felix flushed, glancing away. “Uh… no, no, they’re not.”

Silence stretched between them for a bit too long. Alice’s eyebrows raised pointedly. “They are, aren’t they?”

“No,” Felix insisted lamely. 

Alice remained quiet, taking a sip of her drink, and Felix’s stomach twisted. When she finally spoke, it was to say, “I just… I feel hurt.”

“You… what?”

“I’m hurt. I get it, I made a mistake, but you treated me— you’ve been treating me— like I’m this awful person.” Alice’s voice rose suddenly, the redness of her cheeks growing. “You won’t even look at me in rehearsal.”

A cold, heavy feeling settled into Felix’s chest, and he took a step back. Realization hit him like a truck. “Wait, you…”

All this time, he thought that Alice had been intentionally avoiding him. Had he really been ignoring her so pointedly?

“That’s not true,” Felix began quickly, suddenly desperate to explain himself. “I’m just worried for the borrowers.”

Alice’s lips thinned. “Borrowers?”

Shit. 

“Alice—”

“What are you worried about?” Alice continued, aghast. “What, that I might take them again? Do you think I haven’t learned my lesson?”

The anger in her face fell away as two more people entered the room. Felix and Alice turned sharply towards Breanna and Owen, who immediately pounced on them.

“Did you hear our song?” Breanna pressed excitedly, not catching onto the tension in the air. “Owen fucked up that high note, did you hear that?”

“I did,” Owen insisted, uncharacteristically proud of his singing voice. 

Felix and Alice must have hesitated for a bit too long, because their two friends’ faces immediately dropped, glancing between them.

“Did something happen?” Breanna asked in alarm.

Alice met Felix’s gaze, a glint in her eye. “Why don’t you tell them?” She grumbled, her flush deepening.

The three others jerked back at her hostility. Owen’s eyebrows raised. “Holy shit. What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Felix insisted, heart racing. 

“It’s not nothing,” Alice snapped.

“How much have you had to drink?” Breanna interrupted, dark eyes wide with concern as she glanced over Alice. Her nervous gaze turned to Felix, as if he might answer her question. “Is she okay?”

Alice sucked in a sharp breath, voice tense. “I’m fine. Felix, for the love of god, just tell them.”

“Tell us what?”

“I’m not gonna— Alice, I’m not supposed to tell—”

“What, you don’t trust them, either?” 

Alice’s words made Felix freeze. He blinked rapidly, glancing between his three friends, one of which was glaring menacingly and the other two were uneasily watching. His mouth was dry when he said, “Of course I trust you guys. It’s just… it’s not my secret to tell.”

“Oh, why not?” Alice said exasperatedly, leaning closer. “What do you think is gonna happen?”

For a moment, the only noise in the room was the distant sound of someone singing karaoke, comically juxtaposed to the tension in the kitchen. 

Breanna’s voice was quiet. “Guys, maybe you should get some water, sit down—”

“Felix doesn’t trust us,” Alice decided suddenly, jerking away. “He thinks we might hurt his little friends.”

Panic jumped up into Felix’s throat. “Alice.”

“And I did, but barely, and I said sorry, but he still acts like I—”

“Alice!” Felix interjected, chest tight. “Please.”

Alice stared at him for a moment, face flushed, before she tore away from their group and stormed out the door. Breanna stared at Felix, stunned and unsure, before following after Alice.

Felix and Owen were left alone. Owen’s gaze flickered over Felix, curious, silent.

“Owen,” Felix began weakly. “I…”

His friend only lifted his eyebrows, and Felix faltered, leaning back against the counter and bringing a hand to his forehead. The cold feeling had spread from chest throughout his whole body, leaving him feeling numb and unwell. 

Felix’s hand knocked into a glass bottle. 

Suddenly emboldened by the misery in his chest, Felix turned his head defeatedly. “Let’s do some shots.”

–

The quiet whirr of the AC filled the room as the only background noise. Pepper sat on the back of the couch, absentmindedly stitching up a rip in his jacket, draped over his lap.

After Felix had left, Pepper had chosen to remain seated on the couch, waiting for his friend to return. He didn’t have much to do at his home, and he didn’t see the point of walking all the way back there just yet, since Basil wasn’t there. Yesterday she had expressed her guilt to Pepper that she had been “overstaying her welcome” and “third-wheeling,” and since then she had been exploring the expanse of the apartment building, searching for a nearby place to build a home. 

Pepper was worried for her, but he was confident in her abilities to survive on her own. There was no telling when she might return, considering that she might travel all the way back to her original house to explain everything to the borrower family she lived with. He felt guilty that she had gotten caught up in his strange situation with Felix, leaving her feeling like she needed to give them space but also wanting to stick around and provide emotional support to her brother. Moving into her own place in the apartment building seemed like the best solution for the time being.

A sigh let Pepper’s body, and he dropped back, resting his head on the thick surface of the couch. The ceiling stretched high above him, reminding him just how out of place he was in this massive apartment. He had hoped that by spending time in Felix’s apartment by himself, he would grow more comfortable being in such an open space, but his heart still continued to twist every time he remembered how vulnerable he was, out in the open. 

The sound of the front door opening made Pepper instinctively sit up, clutching his jacket. The panic that shot through his body flickered away as he registered that it could only be Felix, and he relaxed. He busied himself by finishing up the stitching of his jacket as he waited for Felix to enter the living room.

It took a surprisingly long time. Footsteps filled the kitchen, followed by the occasional bump or clatter. Something in the back of Pepper’s mind hummed concerning, but he barely acknowledged it, turning his head as a tall figure finally appeared in the doorway.

Almost immediately, Pepper sensed that something was wrong.

Felix, at his enormous height, appeared to have lost his ability to stand properly. A large hand grasped the door frame in order to hold himself up, and despite this Felix still managed to sway back and forth, body unsteady. Pepper’s skin prickled uneasily. The blonde hair atop Felix’s head was slightly disheveled, as if he had just rolled out of bed, and even from across the room Pepper could see the glassiness of his half-lidded eyes as they searched the room.

Pepper’s breath hitched, coldness swarming his chest. He suddenly found that he was frozen, completely isolated on top of the couch. Vulnerability struck him like lightning, and with a dry mouth he shoved his jacket aside, pulling himself to his feet. 

That turned out to be the wrong thing to do. Felix’s gaze was tugged towards Pepper’s movement, and when the human’s eyes finally landed on him Pepper’s instincts all but screamed in his mind.

He didn’t understand what the hell was wrong with Felix, but he didn’t want to stick around and find out.

Felix didn’t seem to notice the way Pepper’s face had gone pale. The human positively lit up at the sight of the borrower, standing frozen on the back of the couch. “Pepper.”

The borrower’s jaw tightened, unable to pull his gaze away from the unsettling sight of his friend. His breath hitched when Felix suddenly approached, stumbling but still much too fast for comfort, and the borrower backed up as much as he could without tumbling off the couch.

“Felix, wha—!” Alarms shrieked in Pepper’s mind at the sight of two massive, foreboding hands reaching for him, and before he could even think to run he was being swept up into a grip far more powerful than he could ever hope to be. “Hey!”

His heart raced in panic. Felix’s unusually clumsy fingers somehow managed to be both too tight and not tight enough, and Pepper gasped, latching onto the fingers around him lest he fall through. The sudden terror that gripped his throat was suffocating.

For the first time since their first meeting, Felix had picked Pepper up without warning. 

“Look at you,” Felix cooed, words slurring. The pink of his cheeks was much more visible from so close, rosy and warm. “You’re so cute.”

Pepper’s breath shuddered, gray eyes wide and startled. Felix was holding him close to his face, closer than he ever had before, allowing the scent of alcohol to hit the borrower and bring the realization crashing down that Felix was drunk.

Hot panic filled Pepper’s chest as he searched Felix’s soft, glassy blue eyes. His lack of experience with alcohol had not prepared him for anything like this. He barely even understood its purpose or effects, let alone how to deal with a giant who was so incredibly drunk he had forgotten how to hold a borrower properly.

Pepper swallowed thickly, heels sliding on Felix’s palm. Felix’s forefinger and thumb were tight around Pepper’s torso, bunching the borrower’s shirt up uncomfortably. His gaze wandered Felix’s face, at an absolute loss of what to do.

“Felix,” Pepper said slowly, carefully. Fear crept up into his throat. “Felix, put me down.”

He couldn’t tell if Felix was listening, or if he could even understand him. He was answered by a sudden punch of vertigo, the air rushing up around him, drawing an exclamation from his chest. “Ah!”

Felix had collapsed onto the couch, knocking the wind out of Pepper’s lungs. The borrower gasped for breath, squirming in Felix’s grip, gaze dancing as he searched for some sort of escape route.

“I missed you,” Felix announced, haphazardly ruffling Pepper’s hair with a finger. The borrower jerked away, startled. “The party— the party wasn’t good.”

Felix spoke as if the words weren’t fitting properly in his mouth, unusual and misshapen. 

“Felix,” Pepper said again, breaths quick and uneven. How long did it take for alcohol to wear off? He had no idea. “You should— put— put me down.”

“I don’t want to,” Felix responded, warm and bright. The words made Pepper’s blood run cold. “You’re— I want… you’re my soulmate.”

“I— I know—” Pepper shivered, pushing anxiously at the fingers around him. He couldn’t handle such close proximity to Felix’s face and his large, warm fingers overwhelming him. They usually were so gentle. 

Felix wasn’t hurting him, but there was a distinct lack of care in the way he was handling Pepper, clumsily and oppressive. Pepper didn’t think that Felix would hurt him intentionally, but the idea that he might accidentally be harmed was very, very prominent in his mind.

“You’re my soulmate and you’re tiny,” Felix suddenly giggled, poking at Pepper’s trembling chest. 

Before Pepper could process what was happening, Felix lost his balance and fell to the side. Pepper yelped, tumbling onto the soft cushion of the couch, catching his breath only when Felix had propped himself up on his elbows, gaze bleary.

The realization that Felix was now hovering over Pepper, shoulders large and towering, sent Pepper’s panic skyrocketing all over again. The borrower scrambled back until he bumped into the arm of the couch.

“Oh,” Felix said, as if he only just realized that he had collapsed. His forearms trapped Pepper into a box, and he blinked several times as he processed the borrower standing only a few inches in front of his face. “Be careful.”

With the massive hands next to him, and the arm of the couch behind him, Pepper had nowhere to go. His lips tightened, processing Felix’s words. “Felix?”

“You’re… little,” Felix hiccuped, moving his hands to cradle Pepper from behind. “You could get hurt.”

Pepper took a moment to steady his breathing, glancing at the hands behind him. “I’m fine. I’m fine, Felix, just don’t—”

In one quick movement, Felix swept Pepper into his palm. He leaned forward, and suddenly he was pressing his soft lips into Pepper’s chest in a big, clumsy kiss.

Shock exploded into Pepper’s heart. The heat that radiated from Felix was overwhelming, enveloping the borrower in fire. The lips against Pepper’s body were soft but so underlyingly powerful, and all he could think about was how close he was to a giant’s mouth and how easily said giant could trap him between his teeth without a second’s thought.

The light pressure vanished as Felix pulled away, then erupted into a fit of giggles, so uncharacteristic for him. Pepper blinked up at him, face scarlet.

“I kissed you,” Felix whispered teasingly, as if he was sharing a secret.

Embarrassment crept into Pepper’s face, growing even hotter. He slowly straightened up, examining Felix’s face. “You— you should go to bed,” he forced out, voice wobbling. 

Thankfully, Felix actually seemed to register what he was saying, and he nodded. His large, clumsy hands tightened around Pepper, securing him as he pulled himself to his feet, leaving the borrower gasping for a few seconds.

Pepper only realized what was happening when Felix made his way over to his bedroom, the borrower held against his chest. “Hang on,” he called, heart racing. “Wait. You don’t need to take me with you.”

Pepper rarely ever entered Felix’s bedroom. Not only was there nothing of use in here that he couldn't find in the living room, but it just felt like an invasion of privacy, even before he had become friends with Felix. He felt guilty being in here while Felix was under the influence and clearly not entirely aware of what was happening.

“Oh— wait, waitwaitwait—”

Felix unceremoniously flopped down onto his bed, cradling Pepper against him and knocking the wind out of the borrower. The world spun for a moment, and Pepper took a deep breath, blinking up at the ceiling. The ground below him was soft and warm. 

“Goodnight, Pepper,” Felix said with a yawn.

His voice had floated from somewhere above Pepper’s head, making the borrower freeze and register exactly where he was.

The soft fabric of Felix’s shirt. The distant heartbeat. The gentle sway of enormous breaths.

Pepper was sprawled out on Felix’s chest, enveloped by a hand larger than himself. The panic that had spiked in Pepper’s body slowly subsided into uneasy breathing, and the borrower attempted to sit up.

“Felix,” Pepper said weakly, squirming. The hand atop of him was heavy, pinning him down effortlessly by its weight alone. “I don’t sleep here.”

“Hmm,” Felix responded noncommittally, the noise rumbling deep in his chest. Pepper’s breath caught in his throat, face warm.

“Felix,” he demanded, trying to twist so that he could look up at the human. He was met by silence, and the slow movement of sleeping lungs below him.

Pepper’s heart continued to pound, much louder than the heart thudding away below him. Felix’s hand wasn’t hurting him, just very slightly pinning him down, cradling him against the warm chest below him. This was the closest he had ever been to Felix in his life.

It wasn’t exactly… uncomfortable.

He tentatively shoved at the hand one more time, then promptly gave up, flopping down with a huff. He stared at the ceiling for a long moment, listening to the idle sounds of the air conditioning and Felix’s breathing, before taking a deep breath and slumping his shoulders. Forcing himself to shift into a more comfortable position, he closed his eyes, sank into the heat surrounding him, and prayed that Felix wasn’t the type to move in his sleep.

-------

YAAAYYYYYY DRUNK GIANTS :DDDDD

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I had fun writing it :))

TAGLIST: @smallsday @compact-katrina @satethesatelite @taters169 @entomolog-t @gtzel @gt-newbie @da3dm @clumsiergiantess @vee-normous @fee-hunter @torakan

#pepper & felix #g/t #giant/tiny #g/t writing #borrowers #drunk giants

[shiro-s2e2-erukinzu]

Anime only watchers and people who aren't caught up with the Manga, BEWARE... Cuz I'm about to discuss Spy X Family Mission 98... You have been warned...! 👌

[SPOILERS AHEAD FROM THIS POINT ON]

This chapter literally broke me in more ways than one...

This chapter is a continuation of Martha and Henderson's backstory from Mission 97, so let's talk about it shall we...?

So when I opened this chapter and saw a radio...:

...I literally got PTSD from seeing it because it immediately made me think of the first part of Mission 62, Twilight's (or rather [REDACTED]'s) past, so I knew that things were about to take a turn for the worst...! 😔

On the same page, Martha asks Henderson what he's doing here and he tells her that there's a personnel shortage, so he got to graduate early. Then, Henderson turns off the radio and says this:

This is just... It's so sad, but true that things, like radios, that were once made for helping others can easily be used to spread hatred and cause harm... It's just not right... 😞

Moving on, after being separated for so long, Martha and Henderson were able to have another tea party like they used to have, but it wasn't long before things started to take a turn... During a school safety drill, Martha asks Henderson if he's excused from being drafted, and he tells her...:

"It may be that even education is powerless now."... 😟

Hearing Henderson say that hurts my soul... But nothing could prepare me for the next few pages...

Why... Why do things like this have to happen... 😣

No, things like this SHOULDN'T happen...! Innocent people dying because of senseless violence, because of war, it's just not right nor is it fair...! And I will always stand by that...!!

Continuing on, Henderson finds out that Martha is volunteering for The Women's Defense Auxiliary and he's upset by this. She tells him that the ballet company she was a part of is going to disband and her dream will go with it, so he scolds her again and she tells him this:

My heart hurts just seeing the anguish in face and in her words...!! 💔

And the heart break continues because Martha overhears that Henderson is going to be married off and she is devastated... But while in tears, she overhears that the dance is coming again, so this is her last chance to tell him how she feels...!

At the dance, Martha approaches Henderson:

Martha looks so cute here...!! 💗 I was so excited to see them dance together, that when I turned the page, something unexpected happened... I started to cry...:

Seeing them happy, even though just for this moment, it reminded me why I love Spy X Family so much... It's for these moments, the moments that most of S×F's cast is fighting for, the moments that we all should strive for...!! There are just so many bad things going on in the world that it makes wish that moments like these could be the norm for all instead of some...!! I just don't understand why must there be so much hatred and malice in the world... Why can't we all live in peace instead of conflict...

Gosh, I'm even crying now just writing all of that... I should probably start to wrap this up...!

So, just as Martha is about to confess to Henderson, this happens...:

...and the chapter ends... 💔😭💔

And that was Mission 98; truly such a heartwreching chapter to read, just like Mission 62 was...

I don't even know what else to say except thank you to Endo... Thank you for making this manga, for getting me feel all of these feelings, for giving me the opportunity to share these feelings with everyone that loves this series as much as I do...!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart...!! 💗

And thank you to all of you that reads this post...!! There's a lot of things that I wish that I could do to make the world a better place, but if this post inspires you in anyway, that's good enough for me...!! 💗

Sorry for rambling, but anyway... Until the next Mission; take care, be safe out there and thank you for reading...!! 🤗 Later!! 💗

#spy x family #sxf #spyxfamily #spy x family manga #sxf manga #spyxfamily manga #spy x family spoilers #sxf spoilers #spyxfamily spoilers #manga spoilers #Mission 98 #henry henderson #martha marriott #This chapter broke me... #I can't tell you how much desipe war... #I can't wait to see what happens next...!! #Also... #FUCK WAR!!

[lambtotheslaughterr]

Rise : Chapter Seventeen

A Rafe Cameron Series

[THIS STORY WILL CONTAIN THEMES OF NON-CON/DUB-CON, MENTAL-EMOTIONAL-PHYSICAL ABUSE, ETC. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. 18+. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT]

WC: 3.5k

Dividers provided by @firefly-graphics

CHAPTER SIXTEEN | MASTERLIST | CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Your back ached as you trudged behind everyone. Rafe walked alongside you, every step of the way. He wasn’t going to take it easy on you & you knew it.

There was debate about how to track down Bear. The others wanted to take Sayyed’s wrangler, making it easier to get from point A to point B, but Rafe didn’t allow it. He didn’t want Bear, or anyone for that matter, to destroy or steal the vehicle. So, the hunt for Bear would be done on foot. You thought that to be a good thing though, meant everyone would be slower.

You didn’t understand why Rafe felt it necessary to track down Bear. It had been days since he escaped & since you were leading them in the wrong direction, Bear would never be found. Rafe didn’t know you were lying, but he had to at least know that Bear was long gone. So, why? But you didn’t bother asking. After what he did to you, you would never give him your voice again.

“It’ll be half a days walk to get there.” Rafe said beside you, his voice low. “Where is he going exactly?”

You rolled your eyes, groveling internally. Even if Greensboro was the true destination, you wouldn’t have told him.

“_____.” Rafe said your name in warning, “If you don’t tell me…”

You stopped in your steps abruptly, turning to glare at him. Challenging him. What the fuck else are you going to do to me? You knew Rafe understood what you were asking by your glare. It was bad enough that he had Micah lash you like they did hundreds of years ago, made worse by Micah breaking your fingers, which were expertly cast but the pain was still there. But more so, he had raped you. Twice. Lied to you, took advantage of you, manipulated you. There was nothing more he could take from you.

A deep grumble produced from within his chest as he sneered down at you, but he ultimately snatched you by the upper arm & forced you to keep moving. You shook him off, glad to walk ahead of him with him out of your line of sight.

Maddie, Kai, & Barry stayed behind at the mill. The rest of you—Micah, Rafe, Adrianna, Victor, & Enzo. Micah led the pack, keeping an eye out for any sign of recent life. Adrianna was hot on his heels, her gun securely attached at her hip. Everyone carried, except for you. Of course, Rafe knew better than to give you any sort of weapon, or means of defense should any of you come across hostile forces.

Your role was the mule. You carried one of the heavier backpacks on your back which only added to the pain & discomfort of Micah’s punishment at Rafe’s command. The backpack carried most of what anyone would need to survive in the woods should any of you get held up for longer than imagined. You were surprised Rafe trusted you to carry it, knowing that if you had the opportunity to escape you would & then you’d have everything you needed to survive. And while you knew the chances to get just that opportunity were slim, you were fully prepared to take off.

What you wore wouldn’t get you much survival went. After all, the group would only be out of for a couple days, but in the off chance you did escape, you’d make it your second priority to find more clothes. Your first would be putting a great distance between you & the enemies you walked with.

About an hour into walking in the wrong direction, a whistle sounded from the front of the group, & you peered over the heads of the others as you saw Micah halt the others with his right fist raised.

“Rafe, think we got something.” Micah announced, his voice carrying to the two of you in the back.

Rafe tossed you a look before making you move forward with him. Once at the front, Rafe approached Micah who was bent at the knees inspecting the forest floor.

“Tracks. Recent. Maybe a day or two old.” You heard Micah tell him.

You weren’t sure when & where Micah learned how to track, but you didn’t care. They weren’t Bear’s. But you’d lead them to believe they were.

“Huh.” Rafe stared at the shoe prints in the dirt before following the direction they went in, “Hasn’t gotten very far.”

“If they’re even his…” Micah rose to his full height, giving Rafe a knowing look before throwing a spiteful glance your way.

You returned it ten-fold.

“They’re his.” Rafe told him firmly, “She has no reason to lie. Besides, look at her.”

Both of the boys glanced where you stood, “She’s shaking. She knows were getting closer & she knows she can do nothing about it.”

Pfft. But you played the role of scared & surprised thoroughly, widening your eyes in fear. Rafe clapped Micah on the shoulder, “Lead the way.”

Micah inhaled sharply, displeased, but nodded. The group continued & Rafe kept you close, almost as if there was an invisible leash tied securely around your neck. You dreamed about cutting the imagined tether, more so, cutting Rafe’s throat. But surrounded by his lackey’s, you knew the chance would never happen. Micah would put you down before you ever could.

The group walked for another 40 minutes or so, following the tracks closely unknowing of where they led. Since you knew them not to be Bear’s, you couldn’t imagine it would lead you all to anywhere good, but you wouldn’t warn them of such. If they got fucked, you hoped it was royally.

Your feet were beginning to ache though. Your hand, too. You took painkillers this morning to numb the discomfort but it appeared they were already wearing off. Grunting silently to yourself, you shifted the back uncomfortably. Rafe paused in his steps when he noticed you were slowing down.

“What is it?” He asked, staring at you in mild concern. Concern? Ha, yeah, right.

Ignoring him, you dropped yourself onto a nearby fallen trunk, swinging the backpack around to your front.

Rafe whistled at the others, “Wait. We’re taking ten!”

You heard half of them grumble, likely having noticed the reason for a break was because of you, but the other half sounded slightly relieved, more than happy to take a breather. Reaching into the backpack, you searched blindly for the painkillers Adrianna placed in there. But after a moment or of two of struggling to find them, the backpack was ripped away from you. Rafe kneeled on one knee before you, unzipping another compartment of the backpack. You heard the rattling sound of pills against plastic.

He produced the painkillers & you reached your hand out for them, but just as you did, Rafe pulled his hand away, a haughty smirk on his face, “Need these?”

You narrowed your eyes at him.

“Huh?” Rafe raised his brows, “Then ask nicely.”

He wanted you to talk, that much was obvious. But you wouldn’t give in. You attempted reaching for them again but Rafe was quick to use his other hand to block you from moving closer to the object of your desire.

“C’mon. Mind your p’s & q’s.”

Asshole. You pressed your lips together, glaring at him as he eyed you challengingly.

The pain would only get worse unless you got your hands on those painkillers. And you weren’t sure if going a full day without them, potentially more than that, was worth it just in an effort to remain silent.

But just as you parted your lips to snarkily ask for the medicine, shots rang out. Before you could register was exactly was happening, Rafe yanked you from the trunk you sat on & shielded you as he fell on top of you from the bullets whizzing through the air.

“Get down!” Rafe shouted as the others quickly fell to the forest floor & covered their heads.

Your back stung & burned as Rafe’s body weight crushed against you, pressing you into the ground. Hot tears escaped your eyes at the sudden onslaught of pain but you had bigger worries to concern yourself with. Like being shot at.

“There’s more than one!” Micah shouted amidst the chaos.

You felt as Rafe covered your head with his arms as he cocooned himself around you. You whimpered beneath him but not because you were scared. Your back & hand were fucking pulsing with ungodly pain.

Then just as quickly as the madhouse began, it ended. The forest was eerily quiet for about a second before Rafe shot to his feet.

“Adrianna, stay with _____. Rest of you with me, let’s go!” Rafe shouted as he & the rest of the boys took off after him through the trees, all their guns out & ready for war.

You stayed on the ground for a moment longer, watching as Adrianna set herself up behind a tree, hidden well enough from view but had her gun aimed & ready in the direction the others disappeared to. In the distance, you could hear shouting & more gunfire. But it sounded further & further away.

Your heart hammered in your chest. This was your chance. Likely your one & only chance. You had to take it. Now.

Looking around you, you spotted a rock half the size of your head. It was only partly buried by the earth. Quickly, & quietly, you crawled over to it, unearthing it from the forest floor. Then you peered at the back Adrianna’s head.

You may not remember anything from the last couple weeks, but you remembered her as someone you once called friend. How you, her, & Millie would have girls’ night at your apartment where the three of you would drink wine & beer & troll the university dating app, making fun of the pool of single fish in the area. You remembered how she would poke fun at you in the morning after when you were dealing with a wicked hangover but could make one hell of a hangover cocktail to help.

But that girl was gone. Dead & gone. The girl who had her back to you wasn’t a friend. She watched as Rafe & Micah abused you, showed no emotion or care during it. She allowed Rafe to lie & manipulate you, all to keep him happy. And you’d bet your life on it that she knew about him raping you. The girl before you wasn’t a friend, she was an extension of the enemy. And in this new world, you learned harshly that survival meant doing whatever it took to survive.

Adrianna was none the wiser as you walked up behind her, her focus entirely on the woods before her. After all, you were sure she didn’t expect you to grow a pair. Underestimating you would be her downfall.

With the rock gripped tightly in your hand, you raised it above your head, then brought it down on the back of Adrianna’s skull. Adrianna howled in pain, the gun dropping from her hands as she fell to her knees clutching her head. You quickly kicked the gun away into some foliage nearby. But as you did, Adrianna was quick too react & rebuttal.

She swung her leg out, knocking your feet out from under you, effectively making you drop the rock. A wheezed grunt escaped you as you fell to your back. Adrianna growled, glaring hotly at you.

“You fucking hit me?!” She yelled.

All you could do was smirk. You’d do it again.

“Fuck, Rafe.” She spit, reaching into a band around her thigh & removing the pocketknife there. Shit. You had forgotten about that. “You’re dead.”

Adrianna screamed then, racing towards you with the knife, aiming it right at your chest. You forced yourself to roll to the side just as she fell where you once were, her knife dug into the earth. Much to your luck, you rolled right next to the rock you had used on her before. Quickly gripping it yet again, you swung your arm & bashed the rock into Adrianna’s face. Another yelp sounded from her. Her hand loosened around the knife.

Your survival instincts only burned brighter as you kicked her in the stomach, knocking her onto her back & away from her knife. You rolled after until you straddled her hips. She threw a punch into your side, making you wince in pain, but not enough to deter you. The rock fell from your hand for a second time. With both hands, you hurriedly snatched the back of her head & raised it before bringing your forehead down on her. The sound of bone crunching was practically music to your ears.

“You broke my fucking nose!” Adrianna cried out as she instinctively raised her hands to cover her face, blood seeping between her fingers.

I’ll break more than that, bitch.

Yanking one of her hands from her face, you gripped four of her fingers in your left hand, & with all the strength you could muster in your non-dominant hand, you bent the fingers back until you heard them snap all at the same time.

“Fuck! Get the fuck off me!” Adrianna screamed, thrashing under you but your rage kept you grounded atop her.

Eyeing her pocket knife a foot away, you quickly reached out & snatched it, before bringing the briny edge of the blade to her throat. Adrianna immediately stopped crying, though she was still breathing heavily, as she stared wide-eyed up at you.

You pressed the blade further into her skin, just enough that if she made any sudden movement, it would surely puncture her.

The two of you glared at one another. You shook your head, angry tears returning as you stared down at someone you once called friend.

“Why?” You questioned, your voice harsh & hoarse.

She sneered up at you, “Why, what?”

“Why did you let him do all that shit to me?”

Adrianna’s scowl softened, but only slightly. Then her eyes hardened.

“Why, Adrianna?!” You yelled, pressing the blade until you saw a droplet of blood appear.

“Because.” She started, her voice equally as harsh as your own, “He’s a survivor.”

A teardrop of yours landed on Adrianna’s cheek at her admittance. Your blood felt hot, your skin burned, your back stung, your hand throbbed, your mind darkened.

You leaned forward, looking her dead in the eyes as you gritted out the last words she’d hear, “So am I.”

Then you brought the knife down & plunged it into the center of her chest. Adrianna screamed then yelped as blood pooled around your hand & soaked her shirt. Then she coughed & red stained her lips as her lungs drowned in her own blood.

Tears continued to fall from your eyes as you watched Adrianna weakly reach for you. You shoved yourself off her, your heart racing as you paced around her.

“Rafe…will be…proud.” Adrianna choked out as her eyes began to glaze over.

You stood there silently as she struggled to breathe. And then a rattle sounded from her throat, & she stopped moving. Adrianna was dead. Her blood on your hands proved it.

But you didn’t have time to mourn your old friend. You needed to move.

The forest was silent. No gunfire. No shouting. Whoever Rafe & the others chased after wouldn’t survive long. You had to get as far away as possible before they returned.

Rushing back to the fallen trunk, you quickly found the bottle of painkillers Rafe had dropped & stuffed them back into the backpack. Once the backpack was secured, you glanced around once more. The knife. The gun.

Moving as fast as possible, you snatched the gun from the brush you kicked it into & stuck it into your waistband. Then, as coldly & emotionlessly as possible, you returned to Adrianna’s body. Kneeling down, you firmly gripped the knife buried into her chest & yanked it out. Blood sprayed across your shirt. You ignored the action of what you were doing & wiped the blade against your thigh before folding it back into its place.

Now, it was time to run.

Rafe circled the clearing, glaring at the one man left alive as Micah held a gun under his chin.

“So, you haven’t seen a big guy come through here?” Rafe asked for the last time.

After the unknown shoots shot at him & his group, Rafe led the men into the woods, determined to track down & maim those who shot at them in the first place. He mildly hoped Bear would be among them, but much to his chagrin, Bear was nowhere to be found. Instead, after a lengthy gunfight & hand-to-hand brawl, Rafe finally gained the upper hand.

There was only three of them. Micah killed one. Victor the other. Now, there was just one alive. He was around Rafe’s age, give or take a few years. The other two had been older. Maybe his brothers. Rafe didn’t care though. He just wanted answers.

“Like I said,” The young man spit, “No one comes through these woods without us knowing about it. How do you think we found you all? We have a whole fifty acres rigged to alert us to any potential threats.”

Rafe smirked at that. He was indeed a threat. And they fucked up when they started shooting at him. It was too bad, honestly. Rafe would’ve liked to have had the extra manpower. But he wasn’t going to let them get away with it. Not one bit.

“Those tracks we found, whose were they then?” Micah asked next as he forced the muzzle of his deeper into the man’s chin.

“Ours.” The stranger responded. “Look, you won, alright?!”

He shuddered, his eyes peering around at the others with pitiful plea, “Just let me go. It won’t happen again.”

Rafe sighed, staring up at the tops of the trees. Then he glanced at the young man, “You’re right. It won’t.”

Then he nodded at Micah.

Micah’s grinned & pulled the trigger. The back of the man’s head exploded & chunks of blood, brain, & flesh painted the tree behind him.

“She lied.” Rafe thought out loud.

“I told you so.” Micah commented as he cleaned off the muzzle of his gun. “Still, you act so surprised that your precious slut would dare defy you.”

Rafe ignored the comment, shaking his head, “Well. She won’t lie again.”

“How’re you going to make sure of that?” Micah questioned.

“Because hurting her doesn’t get us the truth. But…hurting someone she cares about? That’ll be the winner.”

Micah guffawed at that, smirking knowingly, “There’s no one else she cares about. You made sure of that.”

“No, no.” Rafe disagreed, gesturing for the others to collect the guns & ammo off the dead men, “There’s still one person left.”

“Who?” Micah cocked his head, “You? C’mon, you’re crazy but you’re not delusional.”

“Nah, not me.” Rafe smiled, “Kai. That little pussy has nothing to offer us anyway. _____ knows he only follows me because he’s scared. We hurt him, we get answers. Real answers.”

Micah sighed but nodded, “Worth the try, I guess.”

“Alright, let’s head back. I’m sure the girls are just worried sick.” Rafe shared sarcastically. The others laughed as they trailed their way back to where they ran off from.

But what they returned to was a sight none of them ever expected to see.

“Holy shit, dude.” Victor breathed out as everyone circled around Anna’s body.

Rafe felt his heartbeat wildly within his chest. Micah kneeled down, his fingers against Anna’s neck as he felt for a pulse. But it was futile. She was clearly dead.

Micah looked up at Rafe, nodding in confirmation.

“Guess your girl has more fight in her.” Enzo commented playfully.

Rafe was stewing. _____ killed Anna? Had anyone said she would be capable of such a thing months ago he’d say bullshit, but now. Now, she had nothing left to lose. And it was all Rafe’s doing. He created her, molded her to be as cold-blooded of a killer as he was. Part of him was impressed, & regrettably horny about it, but most of him was angry. She just couldn’t stop turning his back on him. Even after he gave her everything, protected her, kept her the fuck alive. And this is how she repaid him?

“What do you wanna do?” Micah questioned, pulling his gun out yet again, “She couldn’t have gotten far. We can still catch up to her.”

But Rafe raised his hand, shaking his head, “Nah. Let her go. Let her think she’ll get away. It’ll just make it that much more satisfying when we catch her again.”

“She could be going anywhere, though.” Micah replied, clearly geared up & ready to track her down & hurt her beyond recognition, “The longer we let her go the harder it’ll be to find her.”

Rafe only smiled knowingly, looking at Anna’s corpse, “She won’t find Bear. Bear’s in the wind. So, she’ll go where she feels safest next.”

“And where’s that?”

Rafe grinned.

Adrianna Green

2001-2023

i spy with my little eye a reader who will do anything to survive.

this was such a fun chapter for me two write & i am fucking stoked about where it is going. either 2 or 3 chapters left, ya'll, i still haven't decided. so, as always, please share your thoughts/feelings w me, i just know they're gonna be juicy.

drop a comment, reblog w reviews, talk to me in the ask box, just share your feelings.

thank you for reading!

oona<3

(going by oona now as beau lost it's appeal & oona means 'lamb')

Requests are currently CLOSED.

Read this post on why doing more than liking a tumblr writers work is essential to our content creation.

[my love language is words of affirmation, it would make my day if you could comment your thoughts, reblog with tags, or drop an ask that shows your support. thank you for reading tumblr writers, we appreciate you]

taglist: @jsrafesgirl @namelesslosers @bunnycvnts @ditzyzombiesblog

if you want to be added to a tag list: follow my blog, interact with the work you want to be tagged for regularly, & follow the requirements to be added which you can find on my pinned post.

#dark!rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron #dark!rafe cameron x reader #dark!fic #dark!fanfiction #rafe cameron fanfiction #outer banks fanfiction #non con fic #dark!outer banks #rise chapter seventeen

[mazzystar24]

you know the thing i don't understand too? i usually don't say anything because this is a show and it's not that serious - and some people love to hate - but the way people decide what is worth speculating over and what the workers on the show mean is weird, too.

like, the whole 'vertigo' poster thing. i don't know anything about 'vertigo', and i'm not gonna figure stuff out, but i've seen people say that people are reaching and stuff because of what tim posted isn't valid. and i also don't speculate on what the actors or crew say because i don't care enough, but sometimes, with tim's track record, he puts weird stuff on his facebook page, from what i see on tumblr.

but my point is: people are saying that buddie shippers are reaching with what they think the poster represents based on the movie, and basically calling them delusional. maybe it relates, maybe it doesn't; tim posted it. it's funny what people choose to think is valid and to all of a sudden say the buddie shippers reach too much - but given the context, and the background of the ship over the seasons - it would be the least type of reaching i've seen.

like for example, people pay money for cameos from lou [tommy actor], and he says things that were never confirmed about the show from the cast or crew, and people just role with it... because bucktommy is canon. things such as headcanons that people 'want' confirmed.

i don't mind bucktommy, i think they're interesting. but i also think buck and eddie have better context for a relationship. and yes - although they are canon, it doesn't mean i won't still ship buck and eddie because that's... how shipping goes.

people make it seem like it's hard to believe that buck and eddie could be together, and the 'clues' can possibly be taken from what crew say, when that's how grasping media works.

so, in the end, i agree with what you have been saying about using the hashtag wrong and what not; it's actually weird that people will blatantly call you delusional for shipping a non-canon ship as if that's not how tv and fandoms work (and also that because buck is dating a man, there's 'no reason' for him to date eddie, which, as you've said, is quite racist in some ways - but that's another story).

Babe I legit agree with everything you just said like no notes no additions couldn’t have put it better myself, need this framed fr 🫶🫶🫶🫶

Like toxic fans when they see shippers engaging in shipping:

The only difference between you and me I do in fact go feral over shit Tim posts because he’s the showrunner and notorious for hinting stuff and for Oliver and Ryan I find it just hilarious how unhinged they are and transparent about shipping buddie

(Also about your other ask omg hi babe and also yess I’d love to rant with you whenever)

#911 #buddie #evan buckley #911 abc #eddie diaz #911 fox #evan buck buckley #911onfox #fandom discourse #911 discourse #asks open #send asks #send me asks #answered asks #asks

[enterwittyjokehere]

hii, i’m soz idk ur request rules i couldn’t find them 😖. if any of this is out of boundaries lmk! I was wondering if I could request an angst/comfort-> smut on Gale?

Professor!Gale with his student (afab!reader) at wizard college yk. the student is super good with the work but they get depressed and miss class. Gale is concerned bc he adores all his students! he checks up on reader and helps them into a better headspace. one thing leads to another and reader opts to “return the favor” yk.

Gale is not Mystra in this!!! College professor! The groomed does not become the groomer! everything reader does is not because Gale has sum sort of power over them. they just like him! teacher crush fr!

anyways! sorry for ranting. if I could write for shit i’d do it but ur stories are SOOO good!

Sorry it took a bit to get out, life got in the way, I'm gonna be trying to update more frequently I have two more requests to push out and ab three drafts that I've started and haven't finished.

You didn't mention what gender or pronouns to use so I assumed afab, sorry if that's incorrect. I did have some fun with this one, the more I get into my Baldur's Gate playthrough the more I adore this man lol.

So enjoy~

After Class

Professor! Gale (of waterdeep) Dekarios x Afab! reader smut

⚠️Warnings⚠️

[College professor x student]

[Mutual pining]

[Dealing with issues via self isolation]

[Hurt > comfort]

[Alluding to masturbation]

[Teasing]

[No foreplay]

[Doggy]

[Breeding press]

[Mention of aftercare]

[18+ only]

“Deep breaths, you can do it.” Your professor, Gale Dekarios, stood behind you, holding your arm up.

-He had offered to help you practice a difficult spell you've been having trouble with. After class was over you had approached his desk and explained what spell you had been struggling with. 

Like the kind man that he was he accepted, telling you that while it was a troublesome spell you had enough mettle to learn it-

You said the incantation and with the added power of your professor you successfully casted the spell you had been having a bit of a hard time with. Your eyes widened as you beamed, looking up at your professor who had a sparkle in his eye.

“See, I told you, you could do it!” he smiled down at you, you stared into his eyes and your heart raced. You enjoyed the tenderness in the moment, before a small magickal ringing gained both of your attention. It sounded from Gale’s desk, he sighed, looked past you and turning the ringing off, “Sadly, that marks the end of our after class session.”

He put a couple scrolls he had laid across his desk into a small bag, you spoke in a small voice, “it's a little early, yeah?” 

“Umm yeah.. I have a few things I need to take care of.” Gale stumbled over the question, his eyes traced up your body and gave you a small smile, “But you did wonderful, like always, you'll get it yet.” 

A smile pulled at your lips, face heating from the remark, “I hope so.”

You had turned to grab your bag, being halted by Gale's voice, “Don't leave yet, I'll walk you out.” 

You nodded your bag falling onto your shoulder, the scrolls inside ruffled as you moved. Gale finished gathering his things, wrapping a small amulet around his neck before walking up to you.

He opened the door for you, smiling as you walked through. Walking through the hallway of the college, Gale seemed on edge but made small talk well enough to hide his obscured feelings.

“You've studied for that upcoming exam, yeah?” He asked, opening a larger set of doors. 

“Yes, sir. My arcane lock is the best in the class.” You cheered, smiling up at him.

For the first time all day Gale didn't have a smile on his face, usually his tied back hair was accompanied with a goofy smile and a kind demeanor. Your heart ached, you wanted to know what was going on, your fear for your professor sprouted little seeds of worry into your mind.

Both of you arrived at the waypoint, you went your separate ways. That was the last time Gale had seen you, when the next day arrived and you weren't in class, he had shook it off to you weren't feeling good. 

Day after day, until the day of the exam, you still had not shown face. Gale was worried and you being absent the day of the exam on the best spell in your arsenal only made his fear more present.

He had asked other students if they had heard from you, all only shook their heads, meaning you've basically disappeared without a trace. 

The professor's fear only grew as days went by, you had still not returned. Gale's fear trickled into full blown paranoia as the days went on, keeping him up at night and making him sick to where he couldn't keep food down. Gale had a soft spot for all of his students, even the naughty ones, yet you were one of his prized pupils. You were older than most of the rest of the class, eager to learn and listen, good at taking criticism, Gale was by no means a divination-heavy wizard and, yet even, he could see that you would go on to achieve great feats. 

Perhaps that was why he did it, Gale just needed to rationalize what part of him initiated the idea. Here he was fully in action, knocking on your door, away from the university, in his regular clothes. His face was deep and tired, stress had begun to sink into every fiber of him.

His knuckles knocked sharply against the dark wood of your door, a deep sigh released as he nervously waited for an answer. 

Almost perking up when he heard the soft, “Just a second.” that you had yelled in response. Scattered scuttering noises sounded from inside the apartment, Gale had no idea what you were doing, but hearing your voice brought a smile to his tired face.

When the door finally creaked open, your eyes widened in shock, “Professor-?” 

You looked behind him, seeing that he was alone, “What are you doing here?” 

Gale couldn't speak for a moment, he took the sight of you in. Before he frowned and began to explain, “You've been absent from your classes, at first I assumed you had fallen ill but after a few more absences and no hide nor hare of you, I became… Worried.”

A small smile shown as your face lit up, “Well, I'm fine, just going through a ‘rough patch’.” You turned slightly, welcoming your professor into your home.

He followed suit, walking in, “I really shouldn't stay long, I've quite a lot of work to do.”

“You should at least stay for a cup, I just put the kettle on.” You followed your professor deeper into your home.

Gale glanced around the small rooms, taking in all of your decorations, finally coming to a small couch. He sat on the edge of the couch, waiting as you sat in an armchair across from him.

“Is it pointless to ask for you to come back to class?” Gale asked, leaning forward.

“... No.” The word was released in a breath, “I just can't… not right now.” 

“Why not?” Gale asked, but slowly retracted leaning backwards, “I don't mean to pry, I just want to help, your education is important to me… You are important to me.”

“It's just hard. Right now, I have a lot going on.” You said, sighing.

Gale opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by a stout whistle from the kettle, you lifted a hand, “Excuse me.”

Standing to your feet, you left Gale in the room by himself. Coming back with a small metal tray of fancy cups, setting it down on the table that separated the two of you. 

“Sugar is in here, please, take what you want.” You instructed, lifting the top off of a small ceramic container.

“Thank you.” Gale said, looking at you instead of the tea.

“We would really love to have you back in class, you can take the exam you missed and make up the work.” Gale started, ignorant to the way your heart sank as he muttered on, “with your natural talent, you'd have no issues getting back on track.”

“Yes. My Talent.. is why I'm not going back to wizard school, Professor Dekarios.” You paused from your explanations, taking a long sip of your tea, “I've recently felt like my whole world view has come crashing down around me, my whole life I've been naturally so good at spells and magick. I thought I had to be a wizard… I didn't know any other way…”

Gales eyes peered into your own, “It's not the magick you have a problem with… it's you, you think you may be…”

“A sorcerer… it's only a theory, however.”

“My class would still be open to you. I will help you grow however you see necessary and I'm sure a couple books and scrolls wouldn't hurt your newfound identity.” Gale's smug simper helped ease your pain.

Hells him just being there helped you feel immensely better, “if I was to come back to class and still go my own path, wouldn't it be like betraying the weave?”

“The weave is something we utilize, you cannot simply betray it and I'm sure the magick you hold will not mind what path you go down.” Gale said, reaching out to hold your hand.

“Thank you, professor.” You said, smiling at him. 

Gale stuck around and talked with you for a while, not all about magick, but he does have a large interest in the subject. Once the sky had turned dark purple and was littered with the freckles of stars, he thought it best to head to his own home. He chuckled as he walked out your door, turning to give you a small smile, his eyes beaming, “Thank you for having me… And thank you even more for sharing your troubles with me. The fact that I was able to help means more to me than you could ever comprehend.”

“Please, professor, I should be the one thanking you… I was really going through it…” you spoke, rubbing the back of your neck.

After your exchanged goodbye's Gale left, and once again your home was silent, you were alone. Only your thoughts to keep you company now, you thought back to how his hands fit around the small teacup he was holding. How comforting it felt when he grabbed your hand, how for once, his eyes were solely focused on you… You wished it could be like that more, how you craved him deep at night. 

But fantasies are usually just that, fantasy, fiction… fake. Tonight, however they were your comfort, you writhed beneath the covers imagining Gale giving into you. You wondered what pet names he would give you, what habits he would have when he loved you deeply. 

The next day you went back to school, sitting at your abandoned desk, your satchel fell from your shoulder and students began to whisper. Looking over at you and facing one another once again, pointing and speaking indistinctly. It was to be expected it didn't affect you in anyway… however, when Gale stepped up to his pedestal, looking straight at you and fighting to keep a smile down, then you felt something. 

The fires of the nine hells burned inside your stomach, a hand found its way to your cheek, to prop your head up and hide the reddening that quickly spread over your face. Gale went on with class like usual, teaching, talking, rambling, whatever way you chose to say it, it was always the same. You enjoyed it, being such a well learned man was attractive and the way the words rolled off his tongue like a liquid nectar made the experience much better.

Once class was over and you had tucked a couple of your scrolls into your satchel, Gale spoke up, “Ms. (Y/n)” 

You quickly turned to face him, locking eyes with him, “stay after class and we'll discuss your make ups, yeah?” 

You nodded, “Yes, sir.” 

“Wonderful.” He said, you stayed at your desk as students piled out, after the last one you stood up approaching his own desk.

“You're feeling better, I hope.” He spoke, his voice now softer, than when he was teaching.

You nodded, smiling, “Yeah, you helped me a lot, professor, I'm very thankful.”

“Please, as I stated before… I'm just glad I could help.” His large hand once again found your own, giving a reassuring squeeze. It was a kind gesture, but it was one that ignited that fire in you.

“I'll have to repay you, some day..” You spoke, smiling slightly at the thought that popped into your head.

“No, no, no need, You being here is repayment enough.” He spoke smiling, only to cock an eyebrow at the blush you now wore.

“Yes, but it would help me feel better about the whole situation…” 

Gale paused before speaking again, “what did you have in mind?” 

“I could always help you out… You know… to return the favor?” Your eyes flickering up to meet Gale's own. Your teeth latched onto your lip, pulling it into your mouth looking at his hand on your own. For a moment Gale's eyes widened before he pulled his hand away.

A myriad of  inappropriate thoughts flooded the professor’s mind, evident only by the red hue his face took on. A small smile played at his lips a sweet contrast to the simper that littered your own plush ones. Shaking his head, Gale's big brown eyes bore into you, “As much as I would absolutely adore that…” He paused, wincing at the words he was about to say, “ I cannot. If anyone found out I wo-” 

“No one has to know, Sir.” You interjected, keeping eye contact, your confident facade faltered for a moment. Beginning to move away from your teacher, you nodded slightly, “-but I understand, you do have more at stake here than I do..” 

Gale's eyes flickered through emotions at lightning speed, confusion seeped into his features followed by shock and finally he landed on regret, “W-Well. Let's not be hasty now..” 

His hand reached out to you again, as you raised an eyebrow, curiously, at your teacher, “Professor, what exactly are you getting at?” 

“If it's strictly a one time thing and no one would know then… I assume it would be okay to-” softly stumbling over his words Gale's eyes landed on your soft figure, biting his lip, praying that you understood his incessant ramblings.

You nodded slightly smiling brightly, “Just tell me when and where and I'm there, professor.”

“I have two more lectures today, you can meet me after and we can go to my tower, if you would like.” 

“Yes!” You said, loudly, your excitement causing gale to Shush you. Apologizing you still nodded, “Yes, I would love that, sir.”

The rest of your day dragged on as your mind found itself hoping for what was to come, when the time had arrived you met Gale outside of his room. Leaning against the wall, you hadn't even noticed him, you were reading a scroll and focusing on the movements it instructed. Only for gale to grab the parchment and gain your attention, “A bit of difficult Magick, right here… where'd you get this?” 

He was so close to you, leaned against the door frame, his body facing you as he glanced over the spell. Absentmindedly taking his lip between his teeth, his eyes pensively traced the scroll. Before he glanced back over at you, handing it back to you.

“A little shop near my house, just a goal I'd like to set for myself.” You explained as the two of you began your walk, tucking the parchment back into your satchel.

“I could always help you..” Gale offered.

“I would like to figure it out on my own, I think.” 

“That's understandable, when you get the hang of it you'll have to show me.”

“Of course, professor.”

“Please, for tonight, call me Gale.” Your heart skipped a beat. 

“Okay, Gale.” A small and nervous laugh left with the name.

Once the two of you arrived at his door, ending the short commute, he flicked his hand and the door swung open. The candles lining the walls all flicked to life as you walked in, it was like a fancy library, bookshelves lined the walls and little trinkets sat on top of them. You were taking the scenery in as Gale dropped his bag, it fell to the ground with a thump.

“Before we begin, I can make some tea, if you would like.” He said, “and I have some biscuits.” 

You nodded, following him into his kitchen, you sat in a small chair as he paced around the kitchen collecting small items and preparing the water. He was speaking to you about magick, but not in his usual teacher way. Now he was more like a friend indulging you in his interests, “but surely to a student as talented as you, my experiences probably seem trivial.”

“Of Course not, professor.” You said, replying without even thinking.

“What was that?” He said, stepping closer, now towering over where you were seated.

“Sorry, Gale, but it doesn't seem trivial, not in the least..” You spoke, swallowing deeply.

A simper had crawled onto his face, smirking down at you, before the whining tea kettle called for him. He quickly glanced over his shoulder before looking back at you, “Just one second, love.” 

You nodded the word ‘yeah’ ghosting on your lips, but breathlessly, no words could escape you. It felt almost as if he enjoyed teasing you, between the moment with the scroll earlier now this, blissful agony one could call it.

Gale poured water into the two cups of tea, letting them steep. He walked back over to you. A finger ghosting on your chin, lifting your chin slightly, looking in your eyes, he smiled, “ready?” 

Your heart skipped a beat, “F-For?” 

“For tea…” He spoke, placing a kiss to your lips, “what else?” 

He smiled as he brought a small tray closer to you, two tea cups and a plate of pastries sat on the tray. 

You hastily drank your tea, meanwhile Gale sipped his, watching the ways you moved around in your seat. When he drank the rest of his drink he stood to his feet clearing the dishes away, “I'm going to clean this mess up, the bedroom is through the stairs and to the right, you can't miss it, get comfortable.”

“O-okay.” You said, scampering up the stairs, you walked into his bedroom, the bed in the center was huge, you laid down on it, the plush blankets were soft and cool. You began undressing and crawled under the blankets, laying down comfortably. 

After a few moments of you laying there, the door swung open, Gale was also undressed, he crawled over the bed, laying over the blankets on top of you. 

Placing small kisses on your lips and trailing them down your neck, “Get up, and on your knees.” He growled.

You did as he said, standing on your knees, he pushed you down onto your hands and knees, getting behind you he slowly stroked himself before pressing into you. You moaned painfully, inhaling sharply, Gale did not give you time to adjust. He was driven feral by how warm and wet you felt, just for him. You were all for him and Gale was loving every part of it, his pace increased with every moan you gave him. 

Roughly pushing into you, “Yes, take it just like that, such a good pupil.” 

You moaned out beneath him, unable to form words as he ravaged you, placing kisses down your back, his hands held onto your forearms. The two of you rocking against one another, it wasn't long before your legs began to shake. 

“Gale, please.”

Your quivering voice was clouded by your ecstacy as you constricted around Gale, who groaned as he continued to pump into you. Your legs gave out, falling onto the bed, Gale lowered too, laying on top of you, “Damn, already?” 

Gale didn't stop, he milked your orgasm, rocking into you, stopping only to pull out and pat you on the leg. His hand traced your thigh. Before he rolled you over, you helped him, and Gale moved to stand up, still panting he pulled you closer to him. 

You were now on your back, Gale leaned down over you, placing your thighs on his shoulders, he placed another soft kiss to your lips.

“Is this what you think about during class?” Gale asked, pressing back into you.

“S-sometimes…” you admitted, Gale began to rock into you, “Ah-! Gale.” 

He pressed your legs to your chest, his face buried in your neck, kissing and biting at the sensitive area. The easy access to the sweet spot made your mouth water as Gale audibly moaned into the crevice of your neck.

His moans were loud and breathy, chasing his own release, his thrusts became sloppy and delayed. 

“Kiss me.” He demanded, you obliged, taking his bottom lip between your own. Kissing him as he rocked into you, “Yes, Gods, look at what you bloody do to me.” 

Finally, Gale thrusted, gripping the sheet beneath you tightly, and with a prolonged groan, he came. Chasing his orgasm, he sloppily rammed into you as your body milked him, clenching around as your orgasms met each other. Both of you gasping for air and mumbling swears beneath your breathless demeanor.

“You know, that was nice,” Gale said, pulling out and moving to lay beside you, “I appreciate it,”

Gale looked over at you, still panting, “I'll go run us a bath.” 

“Umm… sir,” you spoke up catching your professor's attention, “this was just a one time thing, right?”

Gale nodded, “yeah.” He mused as he walked into the bathroom.

It was most certainly not a one time thing.

#baldur's gate 3 #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #gale dekarios x reader #gale dekarios smut #bg3 gale #bg3 smut #baldur's gate iii #baldurs gate gale #x reader #queer author #fanfic #gale romance #gale bg3 #professor Gale dekarios #professor dekarios

[girlsofprey]

having feelings about the failures of the west side story remake again :(

#it was like the only thing they could do better was the casting #the rest of the film simply feels like someone bashing a camera against my face #and i would argue it's all too heavy handed #the 60s version makes it feel like a dream that transitions into a nightmare that you can't get out of #but like in a good way i guess #and it sets you in a fantasy and then breaks it for you as characters are killed off #but the new one doesn't do that #it doesn't deliver emotional performances through dance #it's all ~acting~ #the focus on dialogue honestly disgusts me a little bit #i'm here for the casting updates i'm not here for the lack of appreciation for the original film #certainly not here for the disrespect towards musical theatre as a medium

[alicentes]

FTWDs final season could have been so much better if it was revealed that Troy was running padre and controlling madison (as revenge) this whole time. He knew enough about nick and Alicia to make madison think padre knew who and where they were this whole time. And here are some other reasons how this storyline would make sense and be more interesting:

- Troy has a military background so him taking over and running a military base makes more sense than two teenagers building it up by themselves because all the adults died.

- taking and training up children to be solidiers also would make a little sense because of his own fucked up upbringing and the idea he has of the type of people who were made for this world. He would have probably had the same idea as shrike, that the kids stood a better chance at padre than with their “weak” parents. The mother of his child dying for being a good person and not getting to raise their daughter (who would not be named after his abuser) could have also played into this idea of the kids being separated from their good parents.

- shrikes radiation cure experiments: Troy ran walker bite experiments before, just to see how people would turn. So it would also make sense if the work we see shrike doing was something he approved of or an idea he himself came up with. As for shrike, it would make sense that she turned out this way if she’d spent years being mentored by someone like troy otto instead of becoming evil and stealing children just because her dad died.

- the scene where madison smashes the glass to expose “padre” would have been such a good and shocking reveal if it was Troy. Imagine Madison finding out that Troy is not only alive but had been the one running this the whole time!

There’s also a lot of other things I would have done differently for the other characters too and I would have liked Madison to have a little villain era and do some really fucked up shit as she tries to take down Troy and padre. How dark would Madison go? Would she survive with her humanity still intact?

I know I’m just talking into the void here because no one care about this shitshow but I just hate it when shows have a plot that could have been good, maybe even great but then completely miss the mark and fans come with better theories and ideas with minimal effort and thought.

#somewhere dave erickson is screaming (and relieved that at least frank dillane stayed away from the show lmao) #fear the walking dead #ftwd #madison clark #troy otto #i also would have had s7a focus on strand vs alicia but v differently with only alicia’s ending staying the same pretty much #then 7b would have been wrapping things up with morgans family and actually seeing the group being taken by padre before having a time jump #then season 8 would have been the much better padre/troy/madison arc #the way these writers reaally do not know how to write for troy and madison #it’s like they tried doing what they thought DE wouldve done with them but couldn’t decide if they wanted them to be villains or be redeemed #anyway i will always mourn the arcs we were meant to have in season 4 #madison becoming the villain vs nick and alicia and whatever was planned for troy #troy was only killed off bc dave didn’t trust the new showrunners with him and he couldnt save the OGs by killing them too lmao #but i am glad alicia is alive and we got to see daniel sharmans acting bc most of the cast were only giving about 20% atp #but who can blame them? the writing got to new levels of bad in s7/8 and their personalities were changing every few episodes #actually to be fair they did the best with what they were given they just seemed done #i only tuned in to alicias episodes in s7 so my opinion on the rest of it is from what ive read bc i just could not get through it #so my opinion on the characters full arcs in s7 may be wrong

[greekromann]

the version of tashigi that lives in my head is soooo much cooler than anything oda could ever hope to write about women. oda doesnt understand her I Do Though

#the smoker and tashigi episodes that live in my mind. oda wishes. he wishes he were me #this is true of every woman in 1pc but its so frustrating watching any scene with tashigi bc like #yes shes clumsy scatterbrained etc etc those are fine those can stay bc through all that shes. SUPPOSED to be competent. shes been /said/ #to defeat strong opponents and theres a /reason/ shes smokers right hand but odas allergic to letting women fight onscreen. bc hes a coward #im taking her away from him im taking away his tashigi rights. Girl You Are So Cool To Me #this is like. gdjgffgjdhf between tashigi and kuina oda does this thing where hes like. ''what if i almost engaged with being a woman in a #heavily gendered society in an interesting way and i /talked/ about doing so but then never follow up on that. so rather than creating a #story that includes gender norms for the purpose of questioning them i just /talked/ about questioning them but then reinforced them with my #starring cast of characters bc im incapable of writing a woman who isnt Dainty. what then.“ and what happens then is i Bite him #and by 'allergic to letting women fight onscreen' i mean. women can only fight women and if theyre NOT fighting women they still have to be #Elegant or Feminine about it and occasionally a woman could defeat a Man™ but shes always gotta be Pretty about it. nami complains about #fighting and robin Only Slaps People Bc She Doesnt Like Punching :( and tashigi (whos fighting style is more traditionally. yknow. Fighty) #doesnt get to Do that often or when she Does she gets put out of commission early and its. Bro You Are So Close #head in my hands. 1pc is good i love it dont get me wrong but i could make it Better

[mikkouille]

wait actually connecting the dots was the guy telling us the fight would go well when we were half a party of first timers also the one who forgot to lb3 us like bro was a tank one of em. jffjjssn he forgor.

#the one guy who does know the fight gjdjsjsbsbsbd #no one doing trial roulette at midnight we were all here to discover it #actually the coach review im doing in my head is critical again i realised i once more forgot to hit SSS like i have to figure out a spot on #the hotbar for me to remember #ok authors notes and definitions ¹LB for Limit Break: staple of FF big ability that you get to use after certain conditions #in this case for the time spent in the fight (+other little things but mostly its about the time spent). in the context of this tale #a protective one was needed to supershield us from death. hence 'tank lb' speaking of ²Tank: one of the three key roles in a fight #alongside Healer (self explanatory) and dps (damage-per-second– hence damage dealers) the tank is solid and takes hits #so that the others dont have to. its sturdy and healthy and looks particularly yummy tovthe enemies to make tjem want to hit Just this guy #in this specific story there were Two tanks #one of them seemingly having knowledge of the specific fight we embarked on #the other likely not. neither of them activated the special limited use bug spell we needed to survive though (only they can) #and for ur curiousity dear scientual i play as damage dealer. so that i cant be the bearer of thus sort of mistake ever 👍 #though granted dps also could do LB fumbles in this specific fight apparently. twas the fight disclaimers on the guides jdjfjfd #'do NOT cast dps LB UNLESS the boss himself os casting something or else he'll activate invulnerability and make it all useless' #+8second of invulnerability??? bro i just elected to not even try it even before the fight went. awry. #even tho technically my position is good for damage lb its ok given how it went i doubt anyone would mind that no one hit the lb gjdjsjsjsks #to be fair its one of these situations where its better left to the healer in case all goes wrong again #(author note damage lb does big damage. healer lb does big heal and if maxed out on its capacity can even ressurect anyone dead) #(hence. given the struggle. it was better off being theirs even outside of the odd conditions of the boss turning invulnerable) #dont think anyone used it tho #its ok.

[nebulouscoffee]

That scene between Tuvok and B'Elanna from 'Resistance' wrecks me actually... It's such a great moment for both characters (and actors, Tim Russ is SO underrated ugh) which highlights the differences between the two of them so well- yet, ultimately shows that under certain circumstances (in this case, torture) the distinctions between people... don't really matter. In an episode full of political violence, this moment is so significant, and I don't even really think I have the smarts to articulate why but I'll try lol.

TORRES: We told you already. We don't know anything about the Resistance.  AUGRIS: I've heard that many times, from many people. Take him.  (The forcefield is lowered, and Torres grabs the guard that steps through.)  TUVOK: Lieutenant, stop! That will not help either of us.  AUGRIS: He's right.

Everything about the way this scene (and the final shot where she's shoved back into her seat) is framed makes B'Elanna appear small, helpless- and embarrassed at her own helplessness- in that cell. We see her fidgeting, unable to sit down, constantly trying to break out or improvise her way out of the situation (she gets electrocuted earlier while trying to tamper with the circuitry)- it makes me wonder whether Tuvok was chosen to be tortured not because they believed he was more likely to have information, but because B'Elanna was more likely to be demoralised watching helplessly as he's dragged off. Augris's line implies that he's "broken" a great many people in the past; a tactic to instil fear and a helpless sense of inevitability in them both (torture doesn't work as a reliable way of extracting information; this is stated in dialogue in other Trek episodes such as 'Chain of Command' so the assertion here is at least not that- but what it does do is demoralise the public involved in resistances like this one.)

Later, B'Elanna is still trying to escape (do the guards know she's doing this? Are they just not intervening?) and she hears him screaming. Tuvok is someone who considers letting others witness him lose control over his exterior a huge (indecent, violating, humiliating) vulnerability, and the fact that he's the one being tortured is Not Insignificant in this context but like- it could've been the other way round. And B'Elanna knows that. It could've been her, and perhaps a small, scared part of her is relieved that it wasn't her, which is an awful way to feel (and if there's one thing B'Elanna hates, it's feeling like a coward). Also- the sheer violation of this, for B'Elanna to have witnessed him in this state, against her will- to later see him bloodied and weakened and flung in a cell, to have heard him screaming in pain- without his consent, knowing she can never un-witness it, knowing it wasn't her fault but still being put in such a situation where she has now played that role... Does this experience forcibly rewrite their respective conceptualisations of each other? Was Tuvok even thinking of her- somewhere outside, listening, worrying, blaming herself, fearing for herself, feeling ashamed, feeling so aware of him and her and the shared humiliation of this- when he was in there? Did seeing her upon coming back out change things? Could it ever change things? Did her presence, even as an outsider, whose memories of this event will always be (visually, at least) the constructs of her imagination- somehow make what happened in there real? Does her role as witness- and her memory thereby carrying some sort of legitimisation of what happened to him now, however warped and coloured by her own perspective and fears and embarrassment- make things better for Tuvok? Does it make things worse? Would he rather have endured this in secret? Would it have been better if she were a total stranger? Would it have been worse? And does any of this even matter when, for a moment, your life (your personhood, your goals, your presence) was completely reduced to what you "must endure"?

AUGRIS: We don't have to ask your friend any more questions, if you give us the answers.  TORRES: I told you I don't.  (Torres stops herself from hitting Augris, who leaves.)  TORRES: I'm sorry. I guess I always assumed that Vulcans didn't feel pain like the rest of us. That you were able to block it out somehow. Until I heard. Was that you I heard?

And the way B'Elanna's voice breaks when she asks this, as if she was still somehow hoping the answer would be no... There are complexities to this which again I don't feel like I'm smart enough to articulate, but like- yes, B'Elanna would like to hear that it wasn't him because that would mean her friend wasn't tortured "that badly", he wasn't put through "enough pain" to scream that way, and it's easier and more comfortable to think of violence (and violation) as something you can rank on a scale, and the lower on it Tuvok's experience ranks, the better! the more easy it will be for them to "move past" this! - but also, there's this element of "I want the answer to be no because that would mean I would not have been a participant in your humiliation, just some stranger's whose voice I don't have a face to put to, which is much better than having to know what you (my friend, my colleague, my respected senior officer, someone I will have to see every day on the bridge, someone I know prefers to keep vulnerabilities hidden even deeper than anyone else I know) sound like when you scream. But also... it doesn't really matter, does it...? Whatever he says, there always was still a moment- however brief- where B'Elanna heard a man screaming in agony, and thought it could've been Tuvok. And in that moment, that possibility was created. Now, it will always exist. That moment will always have happened. It will always have done something to her. It will always exist between them; an ugly, uncomfortable bond.

And this is getting into even more things I'm not smart enough to articulate, but like- it's pretty significant to me that B'Elanna is one of the few characters who never actually tries to poke Tuvok into Doing An Emotion, even normally. She doesn't consider trying to get him to crack an entertaining pastime, unlike others (and I'm sure her experiences of feeling like an outsider- always- feeling Very Visible As Klingon, play a role in this- "all they ever saw was my forehead" does not lend itself so kindly to "let's see if we can get Mr. Vulcan to smile", "why, Tuvok, it seems you've been corrupted by Human (read: default) rituals after all!"- it's a light-hearted joke for many, sure, but what if Tuvok genuinely considers the idea of smiling in the presence of others reflective of a humiliating loss of control and deeply debasing?) I think it's pretty clear from canon that he's just being himself; he's not trying to be a killjoy or trying to be mean, he's just Vulcan. And this is one of the few moments in Trek I can think of when a Vulcan's perceived "control" over their emotions is not connected with their reluctance to laugh or cry or say something sentimental, but... this. B'Elanna is shocked, she's horrified, she demands an explanation as to how he can possibly go through something like this and not feel the desire to "fight back" in a way she understands- and the way she cannot grant him the pretence of not having witnessed, here, the way she can't just shove this in a box, pretend she never heard, because she's just so fundamentally honest- and Tuvok (who is also so fundamentally honest), in a painful moment of openness, tells her exactly what his reasoning is. He lets her see. He lets her hear; on his own terms. He wants for her to understand (for her to witness?) his (very Vulcan) distinction between resistance and endurance; his understanding of endurance as its own form of resistance. Idk it's such a quietly powerful and like- devastating- moment for me... So many people try, over and over, thoughout the show, to get Tuvok to break his Vulcansona- try to make him smile, make him say tender things, make him get irritated- just to see if they can do it. Just to see if he'll ever crack. I bet B'Elanna wishes she never had.

#sometimes I write essays NOT at 3am! haha #cw torture mention #I'm also thinking (of course) about that scene between g@rak and 0do in The Die Is Cast #which is slightly different (but only in terms of technicalities) as a case of Torturer As Witness #it's not just the physical discomfort that thingamabob puts 0do through that's torture ofc #it is very much g@rak's PRESENCE in that room #they didn't bring up the whole ''his eyes'' thing for nothing #it is very much about Being Seen (and being Watched and Witnessed and Observed) #in a moment so humiliating and (for lack of a better term) dehumanising #also it is heavily implied that g@rak volunteered to do this not only to prove to Tain (but mostly to himself) that he still could #but also out of a sort of protectiveness over 0do #there's this element of ''I'm doing this so someone worse than me doesn't do it instead because they will likely kill you'' denial/self- #justification? which ultimately makes the scene about g@rak (and his own moment of ''breaking'') #and not 0do (would 0do have preferred to ''break'' in front of a total stranger? we don't know! it's irrelevant! and that irrelevance is #possibly the most violent thing about that whole sequence phew) #something something Presence As Violence something wish I could word this more intelligently ugh #I keep thinking of stuff that happens (casually) in police stations around me all the time... #voy

[wr0ngwarp]

um. uh. hi every body. something evil and malevolent happened in my brain this month.

this is. um. a Jet Set Radio/Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Death joke AU, spawned out of a in-joke that started in a pokepasta discord. my apologies to both the pokepasta and jsr fandoms

the entire basis is the idea that Corn in Future retconned og JSR Beat as leader/founder of the GGs (is beat being leader in the og even CANON?) so Corn and Beat are the Myras. no it's not a joke funny enough to justify how many hours i sunk into drawing these. no attempt was made to change the setting, assign most of the other cast, or otherwise make this au hold up to ANY amount of scrutiny. if i tried to make this actually work somehow then i'd REALLY end up too far gone. also i keep calling myrtle!beat "Meat".

MEANWHILE, IN A BETTER UNIVERSE:,

#jet set radio #pokepasta #creepypasta #jsr #explorers of death #pokemon #crossover #gore #body horror #blood #ask to tag #long post #jsr eod #also i said ''i didnt assign almost anyone else'' but thats not entirely true. #i did assign dj professor k as wigglytuff. but i decided i needed to draw a line in the sand somewhere #and drawing dj k as eod!wigglytuff is simply too much. some mental images really DONT need to be inflicted on others #i also thought about who would be grovyle and ended up leaning towards combo #i sort of think of him as having protagonist swag about him bc of chapter 2 in teh first game. #also i have a running joke w my sibling about combo being meta-aware bc of a jp-only line he has in future #where he tells roboy he wants to save. #i swear to god i had more reasoning than this but my mind is drawing a blank rn. sad #also i guess this would imply that cube and coin would be celebi and dusknoir but theyre not even in explorers of death so RIP #i did also briefly consider clutch as grovyle bc 1. stealing things lol and 2. joke about him being future-exclusive #and grovyle is FROM DA FUTURE... but frankly clutch does not feel like he could pull off being grovyle. in my opinion. #also i guess sitting here now i suppose it wouldnt even make sense in the context of the eod au cuz everyone but the main trio is og jsr #on that note. i had no idea what to do for gum's design so i chose the most awkward route possible i guess. im sorry gum. #in general gum kinda got the short end of the stick here due to being consistently the Second-in-Command meaning she's shadow #I'M SORRY WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #well at least she's better off than yoyo. me n my sibling just automatically were like ''he's bidoof'' ''yeah he's bidoof'' #also like last note. but. the jet set radio fandom is SEVERELY lacking cliche edgy over the top evil creepypasta versions of the cast

[blog-of-reaction]

My Get Smart ships

Max/99 obviously

Max/Hymie (it’s never stated that he loves Max in more than a platonic way, due to the time Get Smart takes place that would probably be a bad idea, jeopardizing if not both of them than Hymie for sure. I am of the firm opinion that Max/Hymie is canon as much as it can be, it’s just that it’s unrequited love on Hymie’s part.)

Max/Siegfried do I even need to explain why? Just look at them.

Starker/Larabee no reason other than I think it’s funny.

#get smart #fun fact Siegfried’s first name is apparently Conrad #which I didn’t know until I double checked the internet to see if I was spelling his name right #conrad #huh #anyways yeah the only thing that stopped them from becoming a thing was that they are technically sworn enemies #also max is fun and all but 99 could do better #kinda casually rewatching the show and I’m not surprised per say but yeah #it’s even more sexist than I remember #just as racist as I remember though #like oh boy there is some stuff that makes me deeply uncomfortable #asides from that it’s a fun show though #I grew up watching it and it is hilarious (the parts that aren’t sexist or racist) #and the stereotyping and stuff tends to be isolated to a few episodes #like it isn’t everywhere but there are som episodes it might be a good idea to skip #anyways yeah #Don Adams had amazing comiedic timing #and the chemistry with most of the cast wa spretty good #….. #yeah that second part probably could’ve been a separate post but whatever #s watches shows

[pr]

unpopular opinion: the quarry was better than until dawn 😬

#idk ive been watching playthroughd of the latter and just. do not understand why everyone is like IT WAS LEAGUES BETTER #like it was...fine. but the quarry definitely felt like an improvement? also the characters in ud are honestly either bland or insufferable #kaitlyn dylan abby laura and max at MINIMUM are all enjoyable characters - so majority of the cast lmao #ud likeable characters is just like sam who is in the bath until halfway through the game??? #the only thing i will give them is the quarry ending is so unbelievably half assed that its frustrating #but it could still be fixed?? idk maybe they could make a dlc and give it proper endings #and the quicktime events are a lot more intense in ud than quarry which i prefer its more fun and engaging #but like overall the quarry is just a vast improvement and i can really only chalk up the hate to nostalgis goggles aldjalaja #the quarry #until dawn #op #video games

[secretdiaryofanawkward]

just finished remarriage and desires and i have to say: what the fuck

#remarriage and desires #the only good thing about it is the casting cause like apart from that it's just shit #what in the fucking fuck was that marriage plot twist?? #'let's get married just kidding let me exchange places with the other guy you actually have feelings for here at the altar' #and everyone's happy like ?????? wtf???? #yall gif makers really do sell some shit as better than they actually are #also jin yoohee could've been such a great vilain if she could actually hold her own after giving in to her impulses #but no #she's just constantly trembling in fear #bitch doesn't even have good poker face #such wasted Bad Bitch potential #anyway i don't have anyone to talk about this so here you have it bye

[loverboybitch]

hi yall im back from being in the woods for two days with some of my friends and every part of me is so sore and tired and exhausted but i had such a nice time, also this is pretty much the only pic i took on my phone before it died. could not tellu who that is or what was happening but it might be my friend falling into the lake cause he tried to stand in a kayak while drunk.//.

#imjustsittinghere #uploads #literally slept on the doc under only a blanket and the stars it was very beautiful except for the mosquittos #we made all our meals in a cast iron pan in the campfire < #very cool little day we just kayaked around and got wreckedlol #wish i could have like a decompress session lol 1 because i am exhausted but 2 because feelings and my friends both said some things to me #while absolutly off their fiucking rockers #my one friend going 'NO shut up i need to vibe with shane rn. listen. we wont remember any of this but i hope we grow old together' #baby......baby!!!! u mighta done too much k and not remember but baby i remember<3 same <3 #my other frined who i have always thought is jus so cool and charismatic n hot stopping me mid sentence to say 'god ur so much cooler thanme #shutup!!!!!!!!! but also i love you thank you <3 #anyway anyway im a little sunburnt n i have to fucking work a shift tonight lol shoot me in the dome please #but also im so tired n sore n i want to lay in bed and have someone rub my back honestly #oh lastly will probably elaborate at some point but yo just not being able to get texts cause i had no service then my phone died #for two days was like...blis.......... #whenever we werent doing something iwas jus looking at the stars or thinkin or getting firewood r somethn #was a grand ol time <3 also cause we wantd to do bushcraft shit #we endedup making a torch out of tree sap and some old carpet and yarn and it kinda worked!!! for like 15 minutes at least! #definetly coulda been better but good first try #also some of the sap dripped onto my hand and i have a big gross blister burn scab thing gross ouchie