#it's so like....idk uncertain and unclear

[autogeneity]

things happening automagically is very convenient when I can ignore them but I also find it very discomfiting if I am really quite honest

#why...where...how...huh???! #it's so like....idk uncertain and unclear #makes me feel like things are not solid #I am even trying to read the source and it's still very creepy and confusing I am not able to trace the logic/flow in my brain #lol #I might also just be stupid #m #programming #work shit #I have been ignoring it all this time lol but now I need to configure it to work on a new type of thing #and I have not a clue where anything comes from

[piviani]

what enha currently feels about their current tour

( disclaimer: please do remember to take my readings with a grain of salt. i am in no way a professional tarot reader and all of this are alleged and is for entertainment purposes only. )

note: hello everyone wow its been awhile! but anyways i just had the sudden urge to read about what they currently feel now that the world tour is finally starting 😭 (sk is already done and THEY WERE ???? jaw dropping. fr. fr. the dance break COUGH COUGH) + and last this is kind of a rushed reading so excuse if there might be some grammar mistakes or sum ..

jungwon

ace of swords

awe jungwon is currently in that moment where he feels that wow the world really is built different for everybody. he is now in the clear set of mind. emotionally he is in a good place! it might feel very new to him but with this card its positive! as in general context it means new ideas, new environment, new beginnings.. whatever that is new. ITS ALL NEW. he feels a great strong of emotion too. because Its what he is patiently waiting and craving for, after what happened to his life.

heeseung

five of swords in reverse

dude is ready! hes now feeling ready after that unexplainable unhappy thoughts he had about their tour in the past. its possible he was getting quite anxious? but anyways all that now is buried! hes now feeling happy and reassured that it will all turn out fine. its all about new life to him now. “forget the past and move forward.”

jay

temperance

wow this is lovable.. jay feels a sense of calm. the typa calm after you arrive in ur home from a long ass tiring shift you know? a feeling of ease.. like yeah this is why im doing all this.. for my love ones or whatever that he holds dearly. i think with just the world temperance in general we know what it already feels like for him tbh 😭 a very good feeling. he feels happy! too happy! and he even feels grateful too. he feels like this is all connected. a very 🥰 moment where you just have to bring out your phone and capture the moment because you know you will look back to it everytime. he feels that.

jake

the star

whats with jake and this card everytime.. (i always pull this whenever i read for him..) similar with jay! he is also as well feeling ‘that’. might sound er with this but this just so pure. fr. not even kidding. his eyes be sparkling whenever he thoughts of tour. seems like hes been waiting for this for so long too! a very new feeling for him as well. he feels like this is some new era for him. (technically it is a new era for all of them).

sunghoon

six of swords in reverse

unclear card so i apologize in advance if my interpretation might sound a bit er. but anyways sunghoon feels kind of hesitant with this? i dont exactly know why (as ive said in this type of qs this card is unclear (atleast to me). he might be holding back? .. its possible this is all getting into him.. he might feel overwhelmed or he might not be feeling at his best at the moment.

sunoo

the magician in reverse

🫠 unclear to me again! i swear why they aint letting me dude… but anyways with the magician its possible he is currently feeling that he should be more fittable more. he feels that himself is not enough for the tour. almost like he feels that he doesn’t deserve all this. he still is insisting to keep both of his eyes shut closed. he is unsure.. uncertain.

riki

three of cups

aw riki feels happy. hes looking forward for the tour! hes excited to meet different kinds of people and bond, enjoy, and hang with them. all good feelings hes genuinely uplifted its making him feel wonders. a joyous environment 😭

end note: idk but u might notice my reading? interpretations? are kind of different and if u think the admin is different now no its not its just me lol hehe i have quite different of personality every occurrence

[ reading was done in Sep 20, 2022. ]

#kpop tarot #kpop #enhypen tarot #tarot #enhypen #enhypen astrology #yang jungwon #lee heeseung #park jongseong #sim jaeyun #park sunghoon #kim sunoo #riki nishimura

[flatspot]

sometimes i see the real actual articles f1 journalists are paid real actual money to write and i just?

sir what

like, forgetting for a moment, if we can, the small caveat of max actually being given a penalty during the race for, oh wait. what's that rule again? ah yes. for being judged to be predominantly at fault.

but, sure. let's. idk assume that never happened. bc clearly this guy has.

he literally came out after the race and said in no uncertain terms that he meant to crash. that he knew there would be contact, and he did it anyway.

oooh, idk though, maybe you're right mr. whatever the fuck your name is, maybe we really Just Can't Say. very understandable that you'd feel uncomfortable laying the blame anywhere. it's all just so unclear.

#like do you have shame? do you have a shred of it? #are there diamonds up his ass? is that why you're all rooting around so deep in there? gold maybe? #then again they did all also try to argue that we just couldn't really say who was at fault for max driving over lewis's actual head #despite also being penalised for that so #we obviously do just expect A Little Too Much #yes writing this has actually made me feel better

[arodrwho]

99thpercentile replied to your post “ideal m9 post-campaign living situation, prior to discovering nott Has...”

I like Caleb as Nott's family's live-in wizard

mmmmm it is a nifty option ye, & i like it aswell

but also at the same time. i worry abt the relationship dynamics a lil bit? and also the sleeping arrangements, & stuff. am not sure how all that junk would work out & what would be fair & make everyone as happy as possible

#99thpercentile #were nott & caleb romo or nott & yeza qp this would be easier for me to conceptualize? but neither of those is the case so #am uncertain #how do navigate 2 different kinds of relationships under 1 roof #how do balance & keep the romo one from taking precedence by default #unclear #cos i jus like. have absolutely no idea or concept of what would be ideal or even fair under the circumstances #esp. since incanon caleb & yeza haven't even met so idk what the dynamic would be like between them? #n so like. ?????? how do

[duskholland]

frat!tom inviting you to one of their ragers and all of his brothers trying to be a wingman for him bc they all know he’s had his eye on you the whole semester 😂 bc your friends would be like since when did you become friends with all these frat bros and you’re like idk what’s going on rn you’d be so confused lmao.

god this is such a cute idea...my heart. cw: alcohol + fluff.

finishing up some frat!tom blurbs !!

*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧ *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧ *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧

The first time it happens, you find it funny. The second, you feel a little uncertain but laugh it off. But the third time you’re approached by one of the fratboys hosting the party and offered a round of the house’s finest drinks, you can’t deny your complete bemusement.

“Since when did you become friends with so many frat bros?” Your friend, Val, whispers, clinging to your arm as one of the men, a shorter lad called Harry, dishes out shots to you and all of your friends. You accept one with a smile before dropping your voice.

“I didn’t,” you mutter. “I don’t understand what’s going on right now.”

You’ve barely done your shot when there’s a presence beside you.

“Y/N! Pleased you could make it.” You turn to see Harrison there, the vice-president of the frat. He’s in a SnapBack and a black T-shirt, smirking widely. “Do you and your friends want to come and play beer pong with us?”

You exchange a glance with Val, who giggles.

“Why not,” you agree.

You’re swept over to the large patio with a few of your friends, and you barely have time to process what’s happening before Harrison is claiming you as his partner and pulling you around to his side of the table. Val stands at the other end, and you watch, confused, as she asks one of the fratboys to partner with her, only for him to agree, look across the table and see you, then immediately shake his head and announce,

“Wait— no, I can’t. Stay here. One second.”

He runs away and Val raises a brow, but before you can speak to her, Harrison is poking at your arm.

“So,” he says, smirking softly. “How are you finding the party, Y/N? Anyone catch your eye?”

You furrow your brows, crossing your arms over your chest as you eye him carefully. You’ve not spent much time with Harrison before. Yes, you’ve been to a few parties together and played some games of truth or dare, but you’ve not developed such a deep connection that would warrant such attention. You find it suspicious.

“It’s a good party,” you agree, “though, I don’t think you guys have ever hosted a bad one.”

Harrison nods, pride reflecting in his eyes. “Well, thanks.” He digs his hands into his pockets. “It’s all Tom. He does all the planning and organising. He’s a great guy.” Harrison nudges you gently. “A really great guy.”

You start to wonder if the reason for your sudden catapult to centre of attention is more straightforward than you’d first thought.

“—Ahh, there he is, actually. What good timing.”

You look across the table, your breath hitching as your eyes fall upon the figure of Tom Holland, president of the frat, and your study partner from english lit. He looks good, wrapped up in a blue flannel and a black t-shirt, with a dark cap resting on his curls. His eyes seek yours out immediately and you raise a hand in greeting, feeling your lips twitch into a soft smile as he walks towards you.

“Y/N, darling!” Tom exclaims, greeting you with a hand on your hip and his lips on your cheek. “You look stunning tonight.” His fingers linger on your waist for a moment before he steps away, and his proximity grants you a deep whiff of his cologne.

“Thank you,” you reply, smiling shyly. “You look good too.”

“Thanks, love.” The tips of his teeth flint white as Tom beams at you. “I wasn’t sure if you’d come tonight. I’m glad you did.”

You tilt your head to the side. “Of course I would,” you say. You’d been overjoyed when he’d extended the invite to you, personally, and invited you and your friends to the biggest rager on campus. “I wanted to see you.”

It’s unclear if he’s blushing, or simply too warm, but you watch as Tom scratches the back of his neck and smiles almost shyly.

“I’m glad.” He clears his throat and his eyes flutter across the table, to where Harrison’s drifted around to stand beside Val. He nudges your arm, his elbow gentle. “Are you ready to win this?”

“Oh hell yeah. I was born ready.”

“That’s my girl.”

You feel your lips pull up, and try not to let him see the thrill that curls down your spine as you hear him speaking so affectionately to you.

The game goes by slowly, and you find yourself wondering how Harrison, usually so irritatingly good at beer pong, misses even the easiest of shots. If you didn’t know any better, you might be tempted to think he was trying to throw the game, yet Tom keeps you too busy to extensively ponder this thought. When you’re not on the receiving end of his smooth praises, you’re both listening to some of the fratbros who linger near, passing off compliment after compliment in Tom’s direction. They hype up almost every part of his person, pointing out, eagerly, and despite Tom’s obvious embarrassment, how good his grades have been, how he’s been learning to cook, how he’s a beast in the gym… Any positive to Tom that could be praised, is, and it leaves you smiling.

Much to your amusement, you end up winning the game. Once you’re suitably buzzed, you wave bye to Val and follow Tom back inside, his hand clinging to yours. You watch, amused, as the crowd seems to part for you, multiple pairs of eyes following you and the way your fingers are linked with Tom’s. Whispers follow you, and you find yourself clinging closer to him, curling your arm around his as you shy into his side.

Tom takes you upstairs. He’d pulled you from the patio whispering about a book he’d borrowed from you a month ago and needed to return, but you know that his intentions go beyond the return of a simple favour.

“This is a nice room,” you say. It’s large, and on the top floor of the frat. It’s also the room that comes without a suite mate, courtesy of Tom’s status as president. There’s a large window set into the wall, a nice double bed, and even an en-suite.

You feel his hand briefly touch you back as Tom moves past you and walks over to his desk. You watch him rummage through a pile of papers and pens, his watch glinting.

“Thank you,” he responds, looking back over his shoulder at you. His thin lips quirk into a smile as he inclines his head towards his bed. “You can sit down if you want.”

You hum as you walk towards the bed, perching on the edge of the mattress with your legs crossed. After a few moments more, Tom releases a noise of triumph and holds up the borrowed book.

“Here you go,” he says, walking over to you. He passes you the book, and you promptly put it down beside you. “Thank you for letting me borrow it.”

“Of course,” you respond. You meet his eyes, getting momentarily lost in his caramel depths. “Hey, could I ask you a question?”

Tom nods, crossing his hands behind his back as he looks at you curiously. “Anything.”

You bite your lip before extending your hand towards him. When he takes it and easily loops your fingers together, you smile.

“Did you have all your frat brothers wingman you tonight?”

Tom hesitates, a hint of embarrassment curling over his face.

“You, uh, noticed that?” He asks, scratching at his neck.

You nod, smirking. “If the never ending supply of shots and compliments weren’t indication enough, Harrison also threw the game so we would win.”

Tom curses softly. “He’s such a twat,” he mutters. “But uh… Yeah, I guess. I just wanted you to have a good time tonight, Y/N. Some of them just took it a bit too far. I’m sorry if they made you feel uncomfortable.”

“They didn’t. I thought it was cute.” You hesitate, your eyes shifting over his face. “I think you’re cute.”

Tom shifts on his feet, seeming to stretch a little straighter as he smirks.

“And I think you’re absolutely gorgeous.” Using the hand intertwined with yours, Tom very gently helps you to your feet. His fingers slip down to your waist, where they rest, touch firm and warm. You like the feeling of being so close to him.

“So… What are you going to do about that?”

You bite your lip as his breath hitches, and then you let him pull you closer. His voice is lower, huskier, and it comes out lightly as his warm breath fans out across your face.

“I’m gonna kiss you,” he declares.

You give him the slightest nod before looping your arms around his neck, and then very slowly, and easily, Tom presses his lips to yours. It’s soft at first—carrying more care than you would’ve expected—but your eyes flutter shut as you enjoy the moment. It builds quickly, spiralling from a tender union of mouths to an intensely hot kiss, burning bright with passion as you feel him nibbling your lower lip. You part your lips, and your fingers dig into his curls as your tongues dance together, the kiss growing hotter and heavier as you curl in closer.

When you break away after a few moments of passionate kissing, you’re breathless but happy. You rest your palms on the flat of his shoulders and sigh contentedly, lips stinging softly.

“Next time you want to get closer to me, you can just ask me, y’know,” you tease. “I quite like spending time with you, Tom.”

His lips brush your cheek, and you feel him squeeze your waist.

“Noted, love.” He pauses for a moment, smirk biting at his lips. “Care to spend some time with me now, darling?”

You wrap your fingers around the top of his shirt and pull him closer, letting your lips brush over his as you smile.

“I think I’d like that very much.”

#this makes me soft :') #tom holland x reader #tom holland #tom holland x reader fluff #tom holland blurbs #frat!tomfic #myblurbs #tomblurbs #tom.sfw #queue! #thinking abt my emotional support fratboy :')

[prfctethereal]

my future | gazing upon a crystal ball | part i

pairing: james potter x reader

warnings: LOTS of angst sorry, some fluff, idk if i forgot anythings

***

There are three things you should know about me.

Number one: somehow veritaserum does not work on me. It’s the strangest thing I’ve ever encountered. No matter how much of the truth-spilling potion passed my lips, my secrets never budged. It was as if I was drinking water, without the tart, metallic taste.

Number two: my talent of divination was unrivalled at Hogwarts. Once again, it was unclear how I possessed this power, especially since I was muggleborn, but somehow, I was one of the best Seers in over a decade at Hogwarts, praised courtesy of Professor Trelawney.

And number three: I was hopelessly in love with the man that I could call my boyfriend, James Fleamont Potter. He was the definition of charm and chivalry; he was who I wished to call my everything.

As I laid down in his arms in the Gryffindor common room, I watched the fire crackle, the quiet sound of James’ soft breathing floating through my ears. His hand was traipsing up and down my back mindlessly, tracing figure eights onto my delicate skin. I felt calm. I felt content.

There were two days left of our seventh year at Hogwarts. Tomorrow was supposed to be spent cleaning up our dorms and soaking in the last moments of the Hogwarts atmosphere, but all I wanted to do was stay inside all day with James.

He hoped to join the Order of the Phoenix, a secret organisation that worked to bring down Death Eaters and Voldemort himself, after Hogwarts. I wanted to join just as bad as James did, but he said no. It was the only thing we fought about. Continuously, he argued about the dangers of joining together, but I always held my ground. We were to do this together.

“What are you thinking about, love?” I heard James say from above me, placing a gentle kiss on my cheek as I smiled.

“You. Me. Our future.” I shrugged, rubbing the palms of my hands up and down James’ arms, trying to ground myself.

“I like that sound of that,” James nuzzled his head into the book of my neck, inhaling my scent. “Our future. You and me. Forever.”

“I’ll always be your forever and ever, Jamesie. I love you to the moon and back.” The words came out as a hushed whisper, but James clung on to them desperately, pressing innocent kisses just under my jaw.

“You won’t be able to get rid of me.” James cracked a joke, running his fingers across my waist, lightly tickling me as he went. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I wouldn’t want you to.” I replied, leaning upwards to place a delicate kiss on his lips. Raising my hands up to his face, I cupped his cheeks, deepening the kiss in a flurry of passion, that was soon interrupted.

A rustling sound came through the portrait of the Gryffindor common room, piquing the interest of us too. We broke apart from each other at first, before slowly melting back together. It was late at night, many of the other students having already gone to bed. Subconsciously, I grabbed onto James’ hand, letting the pads of his thumbs gently rake over my knuckles as if to soothe me.

Professor McGonagall strutted into the common room, a distressed look on her face. With furrowed eyebrows, she scanned the surroundings before her eyes landed on me.

“Y/N, can you please come with me? Professor Dumbledore wishes to see you.” McGonagall spoke softly, reaching her hand out towards me.

“Oooh, you’re in trouble.” James laughed, pressing a gentle kiss to my temple. I chucked along until I saw the somber expression plastered on McGonagall’s face, shutting my mouth instantly.

“Of course, Professor. I’ll come immediately.” Before leaving, I turned quickly, placing one lady peck on James’ nose, hurrying out of the common room, towing behind McGonagall.

She didn’t say much and walked briskly, a stark contrast to her normal attitude. It was quiet, none of us striking conversation, so we walked together in uncomfortable silence until we reached the griffin statue that guarded Dumbledore’s office.

“Sherbet lemon.” Professor McGonagall stated, her booming voice commanding the griffin to let safe passage through. When the griffin had moved, McGonagall said nothing, but ushered me upwards until I reached the doorway.

“Miss L/N, please come in.” Professor Dumbledore beckoned me in through his great door. I always tensed up at his looming office. Everything seemed so much taller than me. Too many eyes could look at me and judge me from the portraits around the room. I lingered in the doorway, uncertain about obeying Dumbledore’s command.

“Please.” He persisted, his hand outstretched towards me, as if to hold my own and walk in with me. I kept my hands to myself, slightly uncomfortable with his twinkling eyes, staring at me from out the top of his moon shaped glasses.

Nodding my head, I finally walked in, the smell of fresh air hitting my face. I took a deep breath, once again shaken from the look Dumbledore was giving me. My abilities of reading people’s faces and expressions stopped with Dumbledore, who always wore a monotonous look on his face, almost disapproving and disappointed.

Gazing around the room, I took in the noticeable differences from earlier in the year. A few trinkets had been put away as well as some suitcases in the corner of the room, looking ready to be packed. It just hit me that Dumbledore would be leaving and going home. I often forgot that Dumbledore had a home away from Hogwarts. Other things looked different, as well as a few portraits missing from the wall and the curtains drawn, something that was definitely unusual for Dumbledore; he liked as much moonlight as possible.

Something wasn’t right.

What really intrigued me was the crystal ball sitting neatly on Dumbledore’s desk in the middle of the room. I was always quite good at Divination as it was my best subject. Professor Trelawney had always taken quite a liking for me and took me under my wing after third year. I remembered our first lesson we ever had with her and the way her eyes widened as she looked at me. After that lesson, she kept me after class, explaining how she had seen me in her own crystal ball, and how my future of Divination would be bright.

She was correct. I had excelled in every one of my exams; I had the Outstandings to prove it. As a muggleborn, I was always curious about how I had gotten my powers of a Seer, but I never pondered it as much as I should’ve. Once again, I was clueless as I looked at the crystal ball on Dumbledore’s desk. Something told me he wanted me to take a look.

“Professor Trelawney has seen some shocking news in this ball and would like for you to take a look.” Right to the point. Dumbledore was not one for cutting corners. Sheepishly, I nodded, walking slowly up to his desk, before his outstretched hand stopped me in my path.

“Be warned. If what Sybil said was true, it might shake you a bit.” Incredulously, I stayed silent, my eyes flickering from Dumbledore’s worried irises and the swirling mist forming in the crystal on the desk.

“Okay, sir.” My voice came out as a croak as I made my way over to the desk. Nervously, I pressed my hands against the cold ball, the feeling of electricity pulsing through my veins from the smallest brush. I jolted in surprise; the future was strong. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, before opening them slowly, taking in the black wisps of the future before me.

Peering closer, I saw something that made me smile. It was James, the biggest grin on his face, his eyes looking down into his arms. Wrapped in a blanket, James was holding a small boy, hair as dark as James, eyes green like the forest behind us. The only thing I could think was pure happiness, thoughts swirling in my mind.

Was it my child too?

My questions were soon answered as a woman came up behind James, smearing an endearing kiss to James’ cheek. Her fiery red hair and enchanting green eyes were unmissable. That wasn’t me. That was Lily Evans.

I could feel my heart breaking in my chest as I watched James press a soft, delicate kiss on Lily’s cupid’s bow, the smile shared between them, the look in their eyes so obvious. They were in love.

Quickly, the scene changed, instantly taking a darker turn. It was in a forest, the forbidden forest to be exact, where Lord Voldemort stood, Elder Wand in hand, a horrendous grin pressed to his face. His pungent red eyes were alive and vicious, shooting daggers at the figure in front of him.

It was merely a boy, no older than I was, yet he looked so much like James. I knew instantaneously that this was James’ child all grown up. I couldn’t hear what was being said but their wands clashed together, a stream of red and green meeting between them. In a flash, Voldemort sank to the ground. Dead.

Gasping for air as if I had been drowning, my hands pulled away from the crystal ball. My breath was shallow, which turned into hyperventilation, letting me fall to the ground, tears ebbing at my vision. I couldn’t comprehend anything that was going on anymore. I let the tears run down my cheeks as I felt a presence sink down beside me, meeting me on the floor next to me.

“Miss L/N, are you okay?” I couldn’t believe that that old fool had the audacity to ask such a question. With tears still falling from my bloodshot eyes, I looked up at him, cocking my eyebrows, almost mockingly. Obviously I wasn’t okay as my hands shook and tears fell, but I managed to mutter out an answer, just to please Dumbledore.

“No.” The one syllable answer hurt to say. Unconsciously, I let my head fall to my side, resting on Dumbledore’s shoulder. I wished for none of his comfort, yet I knew I needed it. As we sat in silence, I let all my tears pour out as Dumbledore rubbed my arm soothingly, not interrupting the silent aura we had created, until my sobs had died down.

“I’m sorry miss, but I must ask you,” here we go, “what did you see in the crystal ball?”

“It was James, but it wasn’t me by his side. It was Lily. Lily “Perfect” Evans. And they had a child, a beautiful baby boy. The love of my life has a child with someone else. He loves someone else. Their child was the one to defeat Voldemort, to end everyone’s suffering. Not our child, their child.” I managed to explain as Dumbledore nodded, obviously having heard the same story from Trelawney, but much less emotionally.

There was a stillness that laid between us. Sobbing silently, Dumbledore waited patiently for me to finish letting out everything I needed to. For a normally emotionless person, Dumbledore was actually good company as I wallowed away in my pity.

“What do I do?” I managed to croak out after a while, my throat breathy and sore from my crying. A sigh escaped Dumbledore’s lips, not a promising sign for my racing headache. Everything seemed to be falling to pieces beneath my grasp and even trying to comprehend what this would all mean for James and I’s relationship was impossible.

“What do you think you have to do?” Dumbledore asked me. It was a foolish question, something that I hadn’t expected from such a wise man like Dumbledore. I scowled at him, contorting my sad frown into a sneer.

“I have to break up with him.” I sighed, playing with my fingers in my lap. “But then what? Sit around watching James and Lily slowly fall in love. It’s too painful. I couldn’t do it.”

“There is another option for you.” I was intrigued. “I have gotten permission from a pureblood witch from Beauxbatons to let us use her name. She is currently working for the Order in Japan, standing in as a teacher at Mahoutokoro, watching out for any dark magic. She’s working under a fake name, so no one knows anything about who she really is. I know you wish to work for the Order, so I have a mission for you, if you choose to accept. You would pose as a waitress and performer at a popular Death Eater bar in Scotland. You will stay there for as long as possible, gaining their trust and learning what you can, under the name of Colette Heroux, a runaway Beauxbatons blood supremacist. It’s almost perfect that you would do it as if they use veritaserum on you, you can lie. You wouldn’t have to be around anyone else from the Order and you would have weekly meetings with just me. No one will know what you are doing. No one can know what you are doing.”

My throat hitched at the proposition. It was perfect. I could leave and let James and Lily’s destiny play out, without having to rip my heart out in two. At the same time, I couldn’t leave. I would have to leave behind all my friends, Remus, Sirius, Peter….

It was the only thing I could do though.

“Fine. I’ll do it.” I muttered quietly. “When do I leave?”

“Tonight.” My eyes widened in shock. I would miss graduation. Dumbledore seemed to know what was on my mind and answered accordingly. “You will still graduate. I’m sorry, but we must leave as soon as possible. You may go back to your room and collect your stuff.”

I didn’t reply. In a hurried fashion, I rushed away from Dumbledore and back through the doors, not stopping to acknowledge Professor McGonagall who was standing there wide eyed and in shock.

As I burst into the common room, I tried to avoid James, but I couldn’t. He immediately walked over to me, noticing the way the tears fell down my cheeks, cupping my face delicately and enveloping my torso in a hug. It was too painful.

Pushing away, I couldn’t even keep eye contact with him. I stared at the ground, trying to get as far away from James as possible.

“Darling, what’s wrong?” James reached out to me once again but I flinched away, bringing my arms up to brush him off, watching his heart break with every rejection through his eyes.

“Please don’t call me darling, it’ll make this harder than it already is.” I muttered. James tried to say something  but I kept speaking, not wanting to be influenced by whatever James had to say. “I have to break up with you.”

“You have to?” James asked incredulously, his voice a meer whisper from surprise. Quickly, I readjusted my words.

“I want to break up.” I tried again, my voice failing to carry out the sentence. I still couldn’t look at James but I knew he was starting to cry from the choking noises coming from his throat.

“No you don’t. No, that’s not true-”

“It is. We shouldn’t be together. I’m no good for you.”

“I love you. I’m in love with you.”

“I’m in love with no one.” Anger was boiling up in my blood but I wasn’t sure where from. All I knew was I had to get out of this situation. “I’m in love with no one, but myself.”

“You said that you would always be my forever and ever. I said you couldn’t get rid of me.” James was matching my anger as well, stepping towards me red in the face. “That was barely an hour ago. What changed?”

“Everything.” I said, turning away from him. I was done with this conversation. Everything was hurting inside me and all I wanted to do was cry. I knew I had to pack my things though, so I rushed to the staircase for the girl’s dormitories. Before I could reach the steps, I was met by a confused looking Lily, who seemed to have watched the whole thing unfold.

“Look after him for me Lily, would you?” She nodded, unsure of what I meant. Looking back, I saw James still looking at me in awe. He needed closure. I could give that to him.

“I’ll see you in a couple years.”

***

taglist: (send in an ask if you want to be added)

@anywherebuthere​

#James potter #James potter x reader #James potter angst #James potter fluff #James potter x you #harry potter #marauders #marauders era

[bard-llama]

New Lambert Crack Universe

So, for the witcher rare pair bingo, I got the prompt Author AU, which naturally led me to decide that Lambert is a secret romance novelist whose protagoinsts Gerard and Esteban have a lot of sex. Like, a lot. They might be more erotica than romance novels, but whatever. I am genuinely unclear on where bodice ripper fits into that continuum. 

Anyway, Lambert, the genius that he is, chooses the penname Burt Lamb the Third and lists Kaer Morhen as his address. This leads to letters with royalty checks going to Kaer Morhen - or attempting to. More importantly, Burt’s books took off and housewives whisper about them in back corners. Also, a lot more of them start propositioning Eskel and Geralt, because they look just like their favorite characters. Like, just like, and they know that because the books come with illustrations made by the author.

(Does the Witcher have the printing press? No? It does now. Don’t question it.)

Details under the cut

I’m writing the fic now where the other wolves find out about Lambert’s secret second career, but I have more planned. Chronologically, I think the series is:

Lambert pines and is haunted by an idea and decides to write it. Not quite sure how/why he decides to publish, but he doesn’t think much of it. Until he starts to hear people talking about his stories and wtf if so many people are reading them, where’s his fucking money??

Turns out, it was getting sent to Kaer Morhen via a handful of very brave couriers and a whole lot of sensible couriers who hired Geralt to deliver them. (my current fic)

A few years pass and no one thinks much of it. Lambert updates his address ASAP and like, gets a PO box in Novigrad or something. And wow, this writing thing is pretty profitable in fantasy land and he hates being on the Path/being a Witcher, so like... why not rent a nice room in Oxenfurt or maybe a cabin in Skellige (except Lambert’s a canonical baby in the cold) or wherever and just write for like half the year. Then he’ll spend fall doing a few contracts just so he has stories to bring back to the Annual Bitch Session/Drinking Binge (it lasts all winter long). He still pines, but at least now he pines in style.

And he starts getting bold too - he knows Geralt and Eskel don’t read his books, so when he’s searching for inspiration, he recalls some of their stories about people they’ve met on the path. This leads to some interesting rare pairs and some awkward first meetings where everyone around the two think they’ve already boned, but they’ve never seen each other before in their lives. (AKA Lambert/Llama writes random pairs like Eskel/Iorveth for the Scar WorshipTM and then we get to see the reactions of people reading these books.) (like fr i wanna write these, but as Lambert writing them lol)

Like, imagine Lambert going all “huh, Geralt said that elf guy was pretty, and he matches Eskel on the fucked up right side of the face thing, so like, why not?” So he starts writing and then we get a scene break and actually get the porn (with character names or actual names?). THEN we cut to like the Blue Stripes reading the book and Reacting. Ves names her knife after Esteban/Eskel ‘cause ‘I want it to penetrate Iorveth too’. Roche is not amused.

Dandelion, who is an epic shipper of Gerard/Esteban/Burt Lamb the Third, mentions the books when Geralt and Eskel just happen to be at the Chameleon at the same time and the idiot witchers slowly realize that Lambert writes about THEM. Them having sex. A lot of sex. And sure, it’s gotten them a surprising amount of action over the past few years, but that’s still kinda creepy, right? And Dandy is That Fan who some casual viewer has said something hugely contradictory to Their Canon and they have to decide if they wanna fite or not. And Dandy has never seen a fight he didn’t take and lose. So he gets all offended like “no, you’ve got it all wrong! Yeah, the books are filthy porn, but the whole thing is really a love letter to Gerard and Esteban (aka you two, you dumbasses).” So then Geralt and Eskel are uncertain enough to be convinced to go back and read the books - all of them. And by this point, there are rather a lot. Like, Lambert is the Chuck Tingle of fantasy medieval Poland. And while, yeah, Lambert is clearly very horny, he also shows Gerard and Esteban as like... pretty awesome people??? Sweet and nonjudgemental and brave and dumb as a bag of bricks, but that’s just facts.

So now they gotta DO something about their realization that Lambert wants them and maybe kinda loves them? I... have no idea how they actaully get together. Maybe... maybe Geralt and Eskel are divided and uncertain, so they don’t say anything when they all see each other that winter. Except idk something happens/they just get drunk and stupid(er) and they blurt something out? idk, I’ll figure that out. But endgame is Geralt/Lambert/Eskel. And they live happily ever after on the funds from Lambert’s horny writing (which he continues to publish).

So yeah, new universe lol. It’s been fun to write Lambert again. He’s such an asshole.

#lambert #geralt #eskel #geralt x lambert x eskel #the witcher #crack #my fics #fic planning

[fiisheyes]

Here it is good luck 😵‍💫

okay this took me like..... a loong time sorry about that ive been 🔪🔪🔪with school and stuff and then by the time schools over its like 😐 i dont wsnt to be on my phone. so then i wouldnt for the day etc etc anyways here we are now lets get into it >:)

saturn AND the moon in 8th is very concerning honestly i dont want to make big assumptions so i wont get in too deep but like... could represent issues with your mother (or a mother type figure), especially seeing as theyre also in cancer. the 8th house is ruled by scorpio (if i were better trained in this i could get into how that connects to your scorpio stel +rising but uh not today rip) and it covers stuff like death, pain, secrets, societal taboos... its a water house so it holds high emotion. the moon is your inner child, who you were as a kid, your mother/a mom figure, your deep emotions, what makes us cry... saturn is all about struggles and anxieties, what teaches us big lessons in life. it may be conjunct to your moon but i cant tell. either way all of this together points to messy messy relationships with mother figures, a messy childhood.. something you may have to get over and learn from in life could be from your childhood. your mom may have issues with her mental-emotional health. messy messy messy... you know cancer is the sign that rules the moon and its also a water sign and uh messy messy messy

you really do have ALOT of scorpio energy in your chart its pretty insane. there is some possiblity you would not relate to all the generic scorpio traits because the sun is in your 12th house (the subconscious, the unknown, where it gets unclear and uncertain) but because you have SO MUCH scorpio in the rest of your chart this may not happen.

like seriously its insane how much its tied up in your chart. your chart ruler (planet ruled by ur rising sign) (pluto) is in your first house, your big three has scorpio alll over it, moons in ur 8th house.. you have alot of water energy.. it could be possible for you to have a fire dominance but its just got to be water. uh you can look into that urself but it basically entails like.. being moody........ i know thats a very super oversimplification but it is how it is. pisces mars maybe you cry in arguments even if you absolutley hate it and try not to.? like youll be mad and yelling or whatever and ur tear ducts r like ..hello (,:

feel like im not doing the greatest job here um anyways venus in first is simple enough: you are very pretty. there may be times where youre insecure or whatever but both my mom and little sibling have this. and they are.. thats just how it is.... idk if mercury is conjunct your venus but if it is u may have a sibling who is known for being very beautiful.

sagittairus venus you could be attracted to adventure and people from other countries. people like to say that sagittarius being mutable means you will be flighty or unreliable, but that honestly depends ALOT on the rest of ur chart and having so much fixed water idk... maybe you would run off if they made you feel like you didnt have freedom to express your emotions (like maybe they dont like crying or smth idk).

if venus is conjunct pluto you could have some scorpio venus type traits, feeling possesive of people you love (some people will just say lovers but honestly this 100% applies to friends too) .. just kinda like feeling jealous or whatever even when you obviously know they can do what they want and stuff and you woudnt stop them ever

mercury conjunct venus and/or pluto (once again if you have that i really cant tell your aspects with this) you could have a sweet talking ability. ellie had something like this but they had more 10th house energy which is more like social skills+games, like knowing how people work and what they want, while the pluto energy is more like.. you may have a good knowlege of what generally goes on in peoples deep selves and be able to use that to your benefit. obviously that doesnt mean youd use it in some evil way or anything it jsut means you can convince people to do what youd like them to. the mercury-venus is like telling wonderful stories, having a lovely voice or way of talking maybe? and the mercury-pluto is like ..knowing people and being able to talk in a mesmerizing sort of .. do what i want way.

^ you may be able to do this and not be completely aware of it. like youd read this like "ive never manipulated anyone????" and then the next day be like (: hi person please dont do that and theyll be like ((: okay <3 for like no reason cuz usually theyd be like ??no.

^^ its just like... you can be doing this for good reasons or out of good intent basically

anyways back to ur moon cancer moons are funny because they can have very close relatonships with their moms or like. absoluely hate them. like you adore them or you had to care for them growing up or maybe its messy as hell and you dont even know but its always smth with the mom. i know way too many cancer moons... helecopter moms mentally ill mothers sad moms overly loving moms moms who never seemed to express love but the child keeps it deep in their heart anyways

cancer moons get described as the crybabies... i know some who cry alot, i also, personally being one, cry pretty not veryh often (i was not really allowed to cry for awhile when iwas little so i didnt really) but i still treasure tears alot. like i like crying. but i dont know if that would resonante because i have cancer moon friends who really hate it even tho theyll do it 3x a day rip.

uh yeah you may be really loving towards your friends maybe your family. if youre not friends with other cancer moons you might be called the mom friend once in awhile but that usually ties in with earth energy because the mom friend has to seem responsible too.... you might just care for them alot no matter how you show it.

sagittraius mercury is all about having cool wise ideas (maybe you like to talk about relgiion/spirituality?) but you may struggle to express them in a sensical orderly way. you may exagerate alot!! ("like it was basically 6 times-" ((it happend 4x at the max closer to 3)))

i dont know much about 1st house mercury my little siblinf has it but i havent dove too deep into it i guess.... i would reccomend you read about all your first house placements (mercury venus n pluto) just because its fun. the 1st house is you. its the rest of the ascendant. so they are your rising planets. so if ur like oooo how cool do people think i am?? thats where you check.

i dont know your midheaven sign because this doesnt show so i cant say much about that.. its probably virgo because libra is right before scorpio so thatd be weird.. cant be leo (like it tends to be with scorpio risings) because you have virgo jupiter 9h....

jupiter 9h is nice!!!! the 9th house is the sagittarius house, and sag is the jupiter sign. you could be very lucky when you travel (like you find a crazy deal on plane tickets or run into someone you havent seen in ages in some random town idk that kinda deal)

neptune in the 2nd house may mean you lose things easily. maybe you gravitate towards 'ethereal' styles of clothes. you may be disillusioned to how much money you have or something similar. i dont know much about this placement rip </3

okay okay i hope you liked this i didnt do a fantastic job but its been FOREVER since you sent me this and im sorry. you really do have a fascinating birth chart though, i hope you can get someone more qualified to run over it at some point bc its very interesting.

#<33 #you probably have already but look at the free report on cafe astro!!!

[cherrysha]

Advice

Okayyyy so its been a minute, i know i know.. but I’m back! oof ive been feeling like my writing is pretentious and shtewpid so i write smthn and it stays in the drafts. But Im done with that! Theres a lot of stuff I cant wait to share with yall!

as for this piece, idk what it is. theres no angst or anything... id just describe it as bros being dudes. kinda boring ngl but i couldnt get it outta my head.

Summary: Nobu asks his oldest friend for advice.

Word count: 818

My request are open atm

Warnings: Smoking? allusions to death, cursing

“What do you get a girl when you want her to like you?” Nobu asks.

 They’d been walking for what felt like ages, but it seemed as though the forest had swallowed them whole. The canopy above was almost impenetrable by sunlight, only faint trickles making their way through. “What?” And Uvo’s dead serious. Who the fuck thought about something that stupid? Surely not him, and surely no one he knew.

“Yeah.. like do you get her flowers or somethin’?” And it’s enough to make Uvo stop walking. “Did I hit you too fuckin’ hard in our session today?” He scoffs. There an indignant frown on Nobu’s face that confuses the bigger spider even more. With a shake of his head, Uvo slowly continues his earlier pace on the path.

“You must be losing your mind. Why the fuck would you care?”Nobunaga sighs, muttering something about Uvo being a meathead before fiddling with the pommel of his katana. 

Their pace is lazy, there’s no rush, if anything they’d get to their destination earlier than they needed to be. Even though he’d never admit it, Nobu found comfort in the fact that Uvo always wanted to be on time. It meant that he never really had to pay attention.

After an hour of Nobu’s perceived sulking, or rather just his mind trying to work out how exactly to go about this, Uvo lets out a deep sigh. He throws his hands up, eyebrows raised as he asks the smaller man “Why are you even thinking about this? You’re a spider, right? Just fuckin take what you want” “It’s not that easy. I want her to like me you big jughead-“ “You want her right? Then just fuckin take her and worry about that shit later! It IS that easy” Nobunaga furrows his brow, the choice even more unclear with Uvo’s suggestion. “If you’re so worried about what she thinks then how d’you think she’s gunna react when she finds out who you are?” Uvo growls, taking a step closer as if invading Nobu’s personal space will force some sense into him. And this time It’s Nobu’s turn to get loud. “I didn’t get that far!” He pinches the bridge of his nose before breathing again. “Tsk... you know I’m right Nobu.” He grunts, the last part of his sentence is mumbled, as if he’s over the conversation but still has much more to say on the subject. “Like we’d get flowers and chocolate and go on fuckin dates. You know that’s stupid.” Nobu drops it for the time being. It was clear he wasn’t going to find any help from his partner.

The path stretches out further in front of them. What little light they had now dwindling into nothing, until their eyes make out the moonbeams that cast dark shadows across the trail. If Uvo had calculated it right, they’d reach the meetup spot by noon tomorrow if they kept walking at this pace. A day early, but enough time to get some quality sleep before the heist. 

After a few more hours, He offers Nobu a chance to rest. Uvo’s back leaned up against a tree on the side of the road, he watches the other man’s cigarette smoke drift through the tree branches.

“If you're still distracted during the heist, I will kill you myself.” It’s a threat that holds a sliver of truth, Nobunaga knows, but he scoffs anyway.

Pinching the lit cigarette between his pursed lips, he fiddles with the tie holding his hair up. After a few seconds it finally comes loose, his hair cascading onto his shoulders. Jet black, it looks as if the darkness surrounding them has chosen to swallow him whole.

“I’d like to see you try.”

And it gets the reaction he wants. Uvo’s lips curl into one of his manic smiles, one of the ones that promise he’s up to no good.

“I can do it right now if you're in such a rush to die.” 

Nobu smiles at that. His friend was never one to turn down a challenge. “I’d rather wait a few days. Then we’ll have an audience.” Uvo’s laugh is booming, shaking the tree behind him with the sheer energy of it. With a push Nobunaga is on his feet again, cigarette butt still in his mouth as he speaks to Uvo.

“Get up, we’re going to be late if we keep taking this many breaks.”

“Alright, alright.” The man huffs, smile still plastered on his face.

In truth Nobu doesn’t care what time they end up making it to their destination, but he knows that Uvo does. 

And even though he hated to admit it, but the beast of a man was right. He didn’t have time to think about something so trivial when he had troupe business to focus on. He had to keep his mind sharp. The path still stretches miles ahead of them, and even though he’s still uncertain, Uvo has somehow managed to calm him. After all, he was right. Spiders took what they wanted.

#nobunaga hazama #nobunaga #hxh #uvogin #uvo #nobunaga x reader

[bookofmirth]

everyones entitled to their opinion but the amount of people who have been saying how “confusing” az’s chapter is and how sjm’s a bad writer for writing it that way honestly annoys me? you said you felt vindication when you read it and tbh, same, it confirmed everything i thought since acowar and made perfect sense with what we know of az as a character - that he’s deeply traumatized and incapable of creating and maintaining healthy relationships (as of rn). but beyond that, i dont see how it was unclear in the terms of which ships will be endgame?? before that chapter i was still uncertain and thought it could go either way (tho i was leaning to elucien bc of the already existing bond), and now im pretty certain its not gonna be elr*el in the long term. idk, i just feel like a part of fandom has built their own vision of the characters and future events that isn’t supported by text and now that theyre disappointed it isnt canon, they blame sjm for it? i really dont think it was a confusing chapter at all, i thought her intentions were perfectly clear with the types of tropes she used, i dont think its fair to say it was badly written just bc it didnt support their fanon ideas that was built more on headcanons than actual textual evidence... idk if i sound mean lol but just my 2 cents, obviously it doesnt go for everyone i feel like a certain part of fandom has a certain version of characters in their heads that they consider as canon bc they want to see them that way, but they aren’t really the same as the actual characters we’re presented in their story

Anon, I am going CRAZY over here.

I’ve been trying to figure out why I take on some arguments and others I don’t, and it basically comes down to 1) what is supported in the text, 2) people’s very wild interpretations of the text, and 3) people confusing their interpretation, fanon, what have you, with canon. 

I actually make my students read this article before they respond to a text because it’s super important to understand what, exactly, they (and we) are responding to. It’s nothing to do with literary criticism, but it still has bearings here because people are taking lines of text and imposing these wildly different meanings that have zero support. Like I mentioned in this post, we cannot say why Elain’s face gets tight or she shrinks from Lucien. There is literally no evidence one way or another, so I could that she like....... has a bad problem with farting when he’s around and is embarrassed. And who’s to stop me????

And you’re right, the problem here is that they think they are responding to canon, when actually it’s this wild interpretation of canon that began before acowar even came out, for the sole purpose of furthering hate on Mor. It had nothing to do with actually, genuinely liking it. But it’s grown into this monstrosity we see today and yeah... people are literally making posts where their “evidence” is two people being a room together and noticing that fact = endgame super romantic ship.

And that’s totally different from actually acknowledging the bare minimum of evidence, and saying “fingers crossed I hope it happens because I love it!!” That would be fine. I literally do not care if people do that. I do care when they willfully misinterpret what’s on the page and try to act like 1) they have found facts, and 2) they pretend like that “fact” should have any bearing on what other people ship. 

So, re: Az. 

I literally made this argument four years ago lol and if you read it real quick you can see that that ship came about (in January 2017) not because of all this “evidence” people found in acowar, which didn’t exist yet for us, but before that for other fandom, fanon reasons. 

And since acowar came out, I’ve pretty much avoided talking about Az because I know that somehow, the fact that he’s dark and twisty is.... controversial??? Yeah, I compared him to Tamlin and I still hold to that (I saw a vagueblog about my idea and I still think that comparison is accurate, but anyway). But people just? Don’t want to hear anything like that about Az. Even though that’s literally what we are given.

There is nothing wrong with saying that he’s dark af. In fact, all of the evidence we have from the book is that he is not only dark, but that he is increasingly  losing control. There was the blowup in acowar, and the increased disrespect of Rhys (and Feyre) in acosf, refusal to take orders from someone he is supposedly so loyal to. Even back in acomaf there were multiple signs that Mor was concerned about bruising his ego (literally the first thing that Mor says about Az is that he would want to know something, I’m not going to look it up but the implication was that he would be upset if he didn’t know).

From acosf:

Az had a vicious competitive streak. It wasn’t boastful and arrogant, the way Cassian himself knew he himself was prone to be, or possessive and terrifying like Amren’s. No, it was quiet and cruel and utterly lethal. (pg. 254)

“He’d tortured it out of someone. Of many people.” (pg. 224)

“Some silent conversation passed between him and his mate, and Cassian knew Rhys was asking about the torture - apologizing for making Feyre witness even the ten minutes Azriel had worked. (pg. i lost my place idk)

“Opening movements in a symphony of pain that Azriel could conduct with brutal efficiency. (pg. 375)

So asdkhasldkjasda if only we could STOP saying that Az is actually a dark soft boi and just acknowledge that he’s fucked up and that him being with ANYONE at this point would potentially be harmful to that person, be it Elain or Gwyn or whoever? That chapter did NOTHING but continue a line of character development that had already been in place, and I get the need to romanticize dark boys, but idk, don’t pretend he’s something he’s not.

#acosf #acosf spoilers #spoilers #azriel #ask #okay now I have a meeting lol #anon

[roseymess]

Hello there! How are you doing? May I request an exchange reading for my relationship with Xiao Zhan? Thank you! Please let me know which celebrity you choose!

Initials : NC

Emojis of Choice: 💚😏😁

Thank you once again, and have a wonderful day/night!

Hi!! You may do the same reading for me with Soobin from TXT 😁

Your relationship with Xiao Zhan:

I think you and him would have a very uncertain relationship. Wait,I don't mean this in a negative way. It's like,um,very unclear. I see him having a crush on you. But it's like your work might get in between,there's a chance that he will be your senior in the work in some way. Like you might be working under him. Awe,I see you both sneaking out and meeting outside. Like I see you and him running together, holding hands. Unfiltered kiss. I think the relationship would be like once in a lifetime type. But it's a very beautiful feeling. It might last . It might not as well. Oh,I see fog like fog and trees together so ,idk why I saw that. Anyways,he would feel amazing with you. And I see it's him taking the lead maximum time.

Hope it resonates. Please leave a feedback. Thank you❤️❤️

[agentfreckles]

Remember that ask where you talked about how M is probably actually flattered you want more than the physical relationship? How do you think they’d react if they found out the detective who they’ve been friends with for a while had fallen for them but decided to hide it because they believe that M is not interested in romance and wanted to respect that?

Cuz like I think that would hit different for them maybe? Idk? Like for a character like M where being treated tenderly where desire isn’t a factor is rare, the idea of someone liking them only and only after getting to know them after a longish period of time would make them feel a way?? Where the want for the “complicated” stuff is clear from the get go but that want is specifically geared towards only them.

I do remember that ask! And you pose a very interesting question. It’s a little unclear in your ask whether or not M’s relationship with the detective up to that point was strictly platonic or still included clear sexual interest on M’s part. It’s going to hit hard regardless, but slightly more so in the former scenario. 

Either way, I think M’s reaction to something like that would be incredibly mixed.  On the one hand there’s going to be a large emotional attachment to the detective that has formed without M’s knowing that at best they've labeled as loyalty. This attachment coupled with becoming aware of the detective’s romantic interest is going to cause an influx of feelings on M’s part that they will not be able to fully comprehend. And because they can’t understand what it is that they’re feeling, you’re also going to get a sort of “Oh shit. What am I going to do about this?” type of internal panic. 

Now it should be said that I’m basing these answers on the assumption that M is in a similar spot emotionally to where they are in the Book 3 demo. Specifically the point where the detective doing something like asking M if sleeping with them would mean something produces an uncertain and frustrated “I don't know the goddamn answer,” as opposed to a flat out no. In both that point in the books and your proposed scenario, M is likely at a point of still assuming that the only type of relationship they are capable of having/have any interest in is a sexual one. Now obviously we know by now that that is not the case, but M’s inability to properly interpret their own deeper emotions prevents them from from seeing the evidence that’s right in front of them. So that disconnect in response to finding out about the detective’s feelings is going to make them feel like crap because they would never want to do anything to hurt the detective but as far as they’re aware they can’t give the detective what they want. 

So just to kind of pull all of my ramblings together, here’s what we’ve got: Detective, who M has unknowingly developed a deep emotional attachment to over a period of several months, develops romantic feelings. M somehow becomes aware of these feelings. Their unknown emotional attachment causes them to be hit with a slew of deeper emotions that they’ve never felt before and therefore cannot properly identify. The only thing they do have is the knowledge of their past interest in sexual relationships, a direct contrast to the romantic interest the detective is exhibiting. So M is left impossibly torn between two difficult positions: (1) a past that seems to support the notion that M is incapable of developing anything beyond a sexual interest which brings with it the fear of hurting someone they’ve come to care very much for (though in a much deeper way than they think) because they assume they can’t reciprocate said romantic interest and (2) a mess of feelings that would effectively disprove and eliminate the first problem but are inaccessible to M because they are at an emotional level M is unable to comprehend. 

In conclusion, M.exe has stopped working.  

#I cannot tell you how badly I want to see M become aware of the detective's romantic interest #sera has said that it's going to be something explored more in game #so it's definitely on the horizon #and I'm really curious to see how it throws M #because we're at a spot where M is there emotionally but still doesn't realize it #so I really do think it's going to cause a bit of an internal freak out #but hey that's just my opinion #I could be right or this could be M's big a-ha moment #who knows! #special agent mason #special agent morgan #ask freckles

[sweet-sixteen-kraang-birthday]

Haha I guess that was mine? Dw I've done that before too 😅 I suggested marcel and klaus as a relationship dynamic you could ramble about? I've got super into the originals lately and you have good thoughts about that show!

Thank you for sending it again! AND OH YES KLARCEL

I love them a lot. I wasn’t interested much at first tbh—just didn’t like Marcel, which is so crazy now, to think about it.... because I fricking LOVE him. Why I ever didn’t before is a mystery.

When I think of them, I think of THAT SCENE in 1x11

Marcel so angry and crying and it looks like their going to fight BUT KLAUS JUST HUGS HIM. It was such a surprise and the exact moment that I fell in love them. I have so many feelings about that Scene. 

Klaus determined, fierce face as he pulls Marcel it. HOW HE HOLDS HIS HEAD. and then, and then his VOICE. “im sorry. you may think i know nothing of your grief but you’re wrong.”

MARCEL ANGRY BUT THEN WHEN KLAUS HUGS HIM how he holds Klaus’ shoulder and just. cries. FUDGE

THE HAND CLASPING NECK. KLAUS LEANING SO CLOSE TO HIM. MARCEL LOOKING DOWN.

“in the days that i have fled this city i thought you were dead” “it was years before i could speak your name so keenly did i feel that loss” FUDGE

MARCELS FACE HERE 

fudgefudgefUDGE

HUG AGAIN THIS TIME WITH MARCEL CLINGING TO HIM. KLAUS SAYING “im sorry. im sorry”

FUDGGE WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS?? Cry, that’s what. CRY. 

It’s just a good scene, i love it so much. It really shows the soft and love parts in the relationship as to the all the fighting that happen AND HOW MARCEL CLINGS TO HIM WHILE HE CRIES SO DISTRAUGT FROM DAVINA’S DEATH AND KLAUS JUST. HOLDS HIM. SAYING “im sorry. im sorry” 

“it was years before i could speak your name so keenly did i feel that loss”  THIS IMAGE. 

it’s even MORE sadder when you think about how Marcel was the one brought Mikael to their city (alongside rebekah) and just. Klaus “SO KEENLY DID I FEEL THAT LOSS” sorry but i CANT. 

i watched their reunion back in the backdoor pilot scene WHEN I REALISED THAT THERES ONE. and it was....dissappionting but i guess it made sense. Tense and unclear but when they go for that hug when they smile - you could that moment when it turns into clear happiness.  klaus seeing him on the stage signing THRIVING after he thought he was dead... after he came to the fact that he was dead and could finally say his name---

holy heck. it’s A Lot. and, and then. Theres that moment where sohpie “please” and the harvest girls don’t wake up and Marcel realises that Davina is not coming back THAT LOOK THAT PASSES BETWEEN THEM before marcel wooshes away

Klaus goes after him. oh FUDGE. im watching this scene on repeat btw and im SUFFERING its so GOOD the music and everything. I need to watch the episode.Anyways, beside the point “we still have our community” 

“I DONT CARE ABOUT THE VAMPIRES SHE IS DEAD DO YOU HEAR ME”

“you may think i know nothing of your grief but you’re wrong.” KLAUS UNDERSTANDING HIS LOSS BECAUSE HE FELT THE SAME AS HIM RIGHT NOW AS THAT TIME WHEN HE THOUGHT THAT MARCEL DIED. 

*KILLED* BY HIS FATHER, WHO HE THOUGHT HE BROUGHT BACK TO THE CITY

ANDDD theres that moment where Klaus talks about how he was jealous of Marcel in s1. Klaus saying “want to rule as equals. togather” or something along those lines.   It was so honest and IM. just.  

WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO ME 

I thought that Marcel was playing when he says yes or like agrees with Klaus then but HE WASN’T. Back to Rebekah and him scene.... when she catches him. And we find that he geninuely wants to take Klaus’ offer. 

I don’t kind understand them---there’s so compilcated to pin down. Marcel says to davina to find something to kill a original. And I don’t know if he’d ACTUALLY kill Klaus. I want to say no, but really. It’s uncertain. I can see a world where Marcel kills Klaus. AND THEN there’s Klaus bitting Marcel in 1x22 or was it 1x20 AND I DONT KNOW IF THEY’D EVER BE ABLE TO KILL EACH OTHER  THE SHOW DOESNT MAKE THAT PART CLEAR AT ALL BUT I LOVE THAT TOO  they love each other. that much is so clear but oh there’s also so much hatered in them. And Jealously! And other complicated emotions. BUT THEY LOVE EACH AND THERES MOMENTS THAT SHOW THAT  i LIVE for those moments

AND THE FLASHBACKS klaus pausing and turning back. standing there and watching marcel as he gets hit. MARCEL NOT GOING DOWN WITH A FIGHT and Klaus stopping that whip and asking him his name. Marcel saying he doesnt have one (i have a Lot of Feelings about young!marcel.) klaus CROUCHING down to Marcel. the EYE CONTACT. “you’re a survior” his face isn’t showing emotions here, an observation i thought was intresting.  “and survious need name” Marcel blink-and-miss-it smile. i have FEEELINGS. 

“how about marcellous?”

“marcellous?” his confustion ; ; YOUNG MARCEL IS A BABY AND I LOVE HIM.

“it comes from mars. the god of war” klaus standing up and OFFERING HIS HAND “it means little warrior”

THEIR SMILES HERE.

Marcel looking back, uncertain, but taking Klaus’ hands AND SMILINNG

KLAUS SMILING BACK 

(also abdjsdsj Rebekah and Elijah’s faces in the backgroung. Lol.)

*breaks into more sobs* oh my god. these TWO 

also... i find so very intresting at how both Klaus and Marcel have both changed their names---it was Niklaus and Marcellous before. Idk the reason for Marcel’s. But. It’s interesting. I would love to explore the reasons as to WHY Marcel changed it. 

Maybe it was a bite at Klaus---how he’s living his life now, he’s not going to be in Klaus’ shadow anymore. Or something. Idk. but i really love the idea of Marcel shedding his all name as a ‘fudge you’ to Klaus for something. AND KLAUS CALLING HIM MARCELLOUS DESPITE IT but - eventually they make up and Marcel still keeps the name but Klaus starts to call him by that name.

I really love the flashbacks. Klaus’ jealously at Elijah and Marcel (who were so cute omg. im Sad about them) and how he goes to Kol “hes family” about Marcel and HOW he takes Marcel when elijah makes the decision to break off their relationship and Marcel is SAD over it. i mean. DID YOU SEE HIS FAMILY Klaus voice is so SOFT when he says to Marcel “come along” and how he puts that arm around him and Marcel follows him, stung and still confused by Elijah’s words

AND THEN THAT FLASHBACK where they HUG - i cant seem to find the video, and i have no idea as to what episode it was but. Marcel was back from the war and it was a HAPPY HUG. i MELTED.  I just hope that it really happened and my mind didnt make that up, lol. If it did, then. Just ignore it. 

more flashbacks scene:

klaus getting angry over Marcel’s decision to go the war and him being like “fight for FAMILY” or along those lines. And Klaus going to war AND BRINGING THOSE WOMAN AS A GIFT TO MARCEL. 

oh my gosh. klaus thats not how you. i was crackling. but - oh gosh. Klaus is so possesive of his family and wants them all to be with him, right beside him. any news about them leaving him - even if they’re going for a short time - 

THE BRIDGE SCENE. that s3 part where Marcel brings Klaus to the bridgebut wait before i get to that i NEED to talk about 3x20 it was PAINFUL

davina’s dead. marcel CRYING. that gleam of tears in his eyes.  “im not your family. not anymore’ AND KLAUS TRYING TO GO OVER AND GIVE HIM A HUG “marcel, come on” but this time Marcel DOESNT take it

his NO as he pushes Klaus away

this HURTS. i hate how they did davina’s death here. i mean. the scene was SO GOOD. Marcel’s ‘i love you--’ breaking off and freya and elijah just. but ehh. backtoback to cami’s death (which was STUPID and the worst decision ever)---it didn’t go. And i really don’t just like the how they placed davina’s death here. the ANGST is so good but everything else meh

anyways back to Klarcel. Klaus protest to Elijah suggestion or was it freya? of killing Davina. I love that lil detail. He knows how much she means to Marcel and Kol. 

I don’t honestly remember the arc where Klaus finds out about Marcel’s betrayal and how he called back his father ‘cept the Klebekah moments tbh. Theyre were like on FIRE that arc BUT THE THOUGHT OF KLAUS FINDING OUT THAT MARCEL BROUGHT HIM BACK

THEN THERES S1 scene. 1x20 i think. 

Klaus letting Marcel back in town for Father Kieran’s funeral. That Glance they share and Elijah saying “fix your past relationships” or something, i can’t quite remember. THAT SCENE BETWEEN THEM

i was screaming

“How did I fail you” HOW KLAUS SAYS IT. I love that Klaus gets to have such HONEST and RAW moments with Marcel 

and Marcel saying, “You didn’t” after Klaus turned around is awaking away. “you raised me”

THESE TWO. im CRYING. theyre just so so good. I love them so much. And season 1 was a goldmine for Klarcel. 

speaking of s1. I didn’t talk about Klaus and Marcel reuniting scene in 1x22. Marcel meant to use her as leverage--not really, he saved her because he doesn’t condone murder of babies and children!! his rule (why hayley is alive) and because shes his SISTER of course. Marcel slumped there amongst all his dead vamp guys. looking up to Klaus with hope in his arms (which meant he was staring down at hope that whole time before klaus got to him--which i have FEELINGS about. And Thoughts. Marcel & Hope. Oh gosh.  But this about Klarcel)

“i was too late” MARCEL someone give him a hug (pefferably Klaus)

I just realised that Marcel still has the bite here and is having hallucinations and stuff and just his FACE. oh my days. 

klaus voice as he here’s like “you saved my daughter so i would heal you and you’re friends.” its so SOFT and his smile. 

the way he says “here” FUDGE 

“this bite... all of this... i know it didn’t come from nowhere. it’s the last song of the note in a song that I started centuries ago” this QUOTE 

“when i brought your dad to town and for that, im sorry” theyre really coming for my life here

KLAUS CROACHING DOWN AND PLACING HIS HAND ON HIS SHOULDER. “no”

MARCEL CRYING AND LOOKING AWAY

KLAUS GIVING HIM HIS BLOOD. MARCE’S FACE AS HE DOES, OH GOSH. 

Marcel SMILE when Hope turns to him and giggles—this is such a sweet and cute moment between them. Hope in Klaus arms. Klaus being so SOFT with her. It’s a new beginning. I LOVE THIS REUNION SO MUCH.

And also, back on the quote on “the last note in a song I....” Marcel doesn’t know it but it was actually MIKAEL who was behind the attack and that Davina brought him back. Ahhh. What a LINE.

And also. I really loved Marcel and Klaus’ small moments in s1. Klaus manipulating and destroying Marcel’s whole work behind his back and Marcel not knowing. The part where they were talking about Thierry and his music. And many more that I am pretty sure exists but can’t remember.

“You hypocrite” about Marcel and Sophie and how THEY SHARE A LAUGH HERE. That whole moment was so good and funny. Klaus thinks that he’s distracting Marcel here but in fact it’s Marcel who’s distracting Klaus here—and then back with Davina and Elijah making their own deal and tricking Marcel. Not to mention Klaus telling Rebekah to seduce Marcel, as way to keep him occupied. this FAMILY. I love them so much. 

And oh Klaus giving his mother’s necklace to Marcel---the necklace that he hated because he found out that Esther was using it repress his wolf side, making him look weaker---oh fudge, the moment he says “you are the author of everything i am” that DELIVERING of the line

...oops getting off track here. Going back.

I find it so interesting that Klaus gave that Necklace to Marcel. And by Marcel words about it... he knew the history of it. I wonder about what lead to Klaus giving to Marcel and having Marcel to keep it for him (and the thought that KLAUS KEPT THE NECKLACE WITH HIM ALL THIS TIME DESPITE WHAT IT MEANT)

#asks #anomymous #thank you so much for sending this in! #the originals #klarcel #yuki rambles #'good thoughts about this show' youre SO SWEET thank you #but. #err #this is most me desparing over them #then actual Thoughts lol #this is a mess of words. i might not have made sense at all---it happens when i ramble #i got more to say! but i gotta stop here #thank you again for sending this in! #i love these two a lot and it was fun rambling about them

[incarnation-of-victory]

I wasn’t initially planning on saying anything about this scene, but since it’s generated a decent amount of discourse, I’d like to add my two cents, because it is about Bakugou after all.

So, do I think Bakugou shouldn’t have been used for comic relief here? No, I think it's fitting because Bakugou is often used for comic relief, and I feel like this scene is supposed to come off mixed to us. We're supposed to find it funny, but since we also are the only ones privy to the full extent of Bakugou's feelings right now, we're also supposed to feel a little bad for him, because we know he's frustrated and worried about Deku and wants to check up on him, but he’s been stopped short from seeing him right now (though nobody else is allowed to come in either, so everybody loses). I also think it makes perfect sense for them to physically restrain Bakugou to stop him from moving. It's partly for his own good so he won’t reopen his wounds, and it's evident that by how desperate Bakugou is, he won’t listen to any kind of reasoning, so they have no choice but to resort to this. The students also don’t want Bakugou to disturb the rest of the patients in the hospital, hence that one lady going “At last, some relief!” I also think it's clear that his classmates are relieved to see that Bakugou is not so gravely injured that he still can't move around and yell. They're glad to see that he's awake at the very least. On the other hand, Bakugou does claim to Best Jeanist that he's not actually as okay as they think he is: whether he means emotionally or physically is uncertain. How seriously we’re supposed to take Bakugou’s confession of not being alright is also unclear. Whatever's truly the case, let's just assume that Bakugou is indeed, physically well enough right now to be out of the woods.

This leaves my only real gripe(?) with this scene: nobody acknowledges why Bakugou’s acting so emotional and out of control to begin with. Granted, I don't think anything anyone can say will stop Bakugou anyway, but an attempt at acknowledging his feelings would be nice. I mean, in 298, we already had Sato & Mineta warning Bakugou that if he kept moving around like that, he might die. So yeah, they did acknowledge Bakugou's physical state, but what about his emotional state? Why couldn't anyone say something like, "Bakugou, I know you're worried about Deku right now, but you need to slow down?" or "Man, Bakugou's really that determined to see Deku, huh?" or idk, just any kind of recognition of why he's acting that way?

Which leads me to the 2 ways I interpret their reactions in this scene: a) the class 1-A students & others there aren’t supposed to really understand Bakugou's behavior here because they don't know the full extent of what happened between Bakugou & Deku, or how Bakugou truly feels about him. One hint of this gap in understanding could be from the flashback sequence in 284, when Uraraka mistakenly thought that it was Bakugou's decision to use explosions against Deku for Black Whip training. The inclusion of that detail is very deliberate in showing a disparity between how people used to view Bakugou vs. how he actually is right now, particularly in regards to Deku. Hell, even I thought it was Bakugou's idea until Bakugou claimed otherwise. 

And/or maybe it’s like b) when Bakugou got tied up at the Sports Festival: people rarely try to understand why Bakugou acts the way he does in the first place. It's easier & more convenient to just to scold him or put a muzzle on him. And the thing is, everyone did get that Bakugou was mad there because he felt like he won an unfair fight, but nobody tried to sympathize with why he'd feel that way (except Aizawa later, when he stood up for Bakugou at the press conference). It's not that I expect anyone to be particularly successful in talking down Bakugou, but an attempt at acknowledging why he's acting that way is enough to feel like the other characters have some respect for his personal feelings & desires.

And it's not like I'm asking them to psychoanalyze every single time Bakugou blows up: obviously it's not going to be that deep every time. But this is an extreme case here, and even then, Uraraka only made a surface observation of Bakugou being louder than ever (which is odd: Uraraka’s ability to understand Bakugou/his relationship with Deku has always been somewhat inconsistent).

Anyway, I don’t like how the opposition to any critique of this scene has devolved into "those stupid Bakugou stans overreacting and woobifying their uwu poor bby Bakugou" or even claiming that this is just “bkdk shippers being mad.” While I do think some people are blowing this scene a little out of proportion, I don't think it's unreasonable at all to interpret this scene as another instance of people not truly understanding Bakugou, particularly because there's been multiple precedents for this kind of situation before. Also, there's no need to bash or condescend people who have strong negative reactions to this scene: they're entitled to expressing their feelings. Saying that people are reading this wrong and need to shut up is just an attempt at shutting down any kind of conversation that you disagree with. You don’t get to dictate what’s reasonable to analyze or criticize and what’s not.

Everybody wants their favs’ struggles to be taken seriously, trust me: this isn’t just a Bakugou stan thing. Earlier in the series, nobody really cared about Bakugou being used as the butt of the joke because a lot of people didn’t like him, so it was framed as “heartless bully gets his just desserts.” But now that we know Bakugou a lot better as a person, and that we know that yes, he is indeed a human being with feelings like anyone else, it makes sense why a lot of us would feel more sympathetic toward him. 

Personally, I’d just like it if other characters pointed out Bakugou’s true feelings more often, because I feel like Bakugou’s a lot more reasonable than they give him credit for, so the things he does often fly over their heads. Even some fans reading the series still have trouble grasping Bakugou’s true intentions, which is why it can be helpful to have other characters spell them out for us (i.e., All Might recognizing that Bakugou is worried for Deku). I mean, I’m genuinely surprised that they are people who are completely caught up with the manga and still don’t realize that “there being a dissonance between Bakugou’s true intentions and how he appears on the surface” is a big part of his character. But when the characters in-universe even act like this, I guess I can see why (but it would also be helpful to note that it is… indeed possible for characters to have more than one feeling or motivation for something…). Though I will admit that people can take this to the other extreme too and make him seem softer or more persecuted than he actually is.

In conclusion, this scene didn't bother me too much, but I also couldn't help but feel somewhat off-put by how all the reactions to Bakugou were missing the whole picture, but I feel like that’s kind of the point.

#this is a scene analysis but also a bit of a character study of bkg/fandom critique too #probably longer than it needs to be but hey that’s my brand #bnha manga spoilers #303

[neven-ebrez]

The space between

Well. As I said on Twitter, that episode was a mixed bag for me. I’m going to talk about quietness, pauses and space tho. This episode was filled with things hanging. Some ways that are obvious, like the blood faucet and others that lacked the visual element but were something that nevertheless could be felt. First I’ll start with Sam and Eileen. They look at each other and don’t speak. They smile quietly at one another, trying to do their work but are obviously distracted. We pause. They go back to work. Eileen looks again. Sam looks back. It feels awkward, uncertain, weighty with potential but it’s something they don’t put quite the right words to, but the meaning is expressed clearly as they grab hands once more. As payback for all the times Sam interrupts Dean and Cas, Cas enters the bunker and puts a stop to the “fun” they were about to have.

Next awkward moment is when the sheriff talks about Dean having the look of someone who could perform in LA. It’s awkward because Dean wants that but can’t have it as things stand. The sheriff smiles and the audience shakes their heads sadly. Because we know what the sheriff does not. This is a dream Dean has given up. The mood is awkward and it hangs.

Next is Dean and Lee against the framework of Sam and Eileen. The awkwardness here is different. Lee’s talking about Dean’s dad and the past and that’s all been things Dean has moved on from. Lee talks and we pause. They look at each other. Dean talks again. More awkwardness and pausing. You know. I really did think the show was going to lean hard into being ambiguous about the past shared with these guys (in a one on one manner) but no, not really. We see in this guy, however, how Dean could have turned out if he didn’t believe in what he had up til 14x20. And it’s not pretty. Lee doesn’t have fangs but he’s a monster none the less. He’s selfish and only cares about himself. And if you’re thinking that’s how Cas currently sees Dean then you are absolutely right.

I’m not going to touch on how ridiculous it is that Sergei is back. I thought that was completely dumb. The important thing here is that Cas learned to anticipate and leverage him before he brought him in for help. Cas threatens Sergei but at a distance, physically, by threatening to have AU!Bobby kill the blonde girl (whoever she is, either unclear or I didn’t catch it). Sergei talks about the connection between Chuck and Sam and how distance effects the connection and that it could “snap like a rubberband”. Unsure if this means Sam would lose a piece of his soul permanently or what. I can only assume the show is being vague by design (again). Back to Dean.

When Dean and Lee sing together Dean puts distance between them. When Lee offers the mic to Dean to start singing, the distance is widened. When they join together the distance is eliminated. This is the illusion of two friends meeting where the other is in their life. Nothing could be further from the truth. These two have strayed very far from each other indeed. Which brings me to Dean getting captured when he finds out the truth. There’s a substantial space put between Dean and the cell of this Shape of Water monster reject who functions something like a vampire genie??? Idk I’m still unclear on that. The space, the hanging pause here is more visual.

Back at the bunker Eileen is mad about Sergei’s deceit and she puts physical distance between him and Sam. I guess I should have talked about this in the paragraph before but honestly I can’t remember what came first in the episode. Anyway. Cas threatens Sergei and Sam wakes up from his impact coma or whatever.

Having killed his dark mirror, Dean returns to Cas thinking Cas already forgave him I guess. The fool. Cas has been 1000% done all episode and this shot speaks for itself concerning how willing Cas is to be a caged monster granting wishes and being fed scraps by another monster who cares about him actually none. That’s what the mirrors say, anyway. Pretty dark perspective.

I’m not talking about mirrors in this post tho, it’s about space and how space hurts and changes us, makes us vulnerable. When there’s space you can’t protect those that you care about. So the episode asks us: how do we bridge space and create togetherness again? There’s an awkward pause and the episode doesn’t answer.

#15x08 #spn spoilers #space as failure #the space between #zerbe discusses things #this us quick and dirty because im tired and cant rewatch til later #this is largely the episode’s main theme tho

[scnnyfm-old]

chicago’s very own sunshine ‘sunny’ carmichael has been spotted on madison avenue driving a bmw 3 series , welcome ! your resemblance to dua lipa is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty-third birthday bash . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re sensitive , but being altrustic might help you . i think being a cancer explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be the scent of bubblegum, an abundance of house plants, and freshly baked cookies . ( cis female + she/her ) 

helloooooo ghouls, goblins, and everything in between. it’s ya girl aneesa or whatever fun nickname you wanna call me, and this is my child sunny! you can reach me via ims or catch me on discord at 𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐚 🦋☀#5408

* && 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐬

full name — sunshine carhmichael

nicknames — sunny (preferred name actually)

birthday — july 15

height  — 5′ 8″

age  — twenty-three (23)

pronouns — she/her/hers

occupation(s) — singer, record executive, fashion/cosmetics brand ceo, fashion designer, reality show star, & model

languages spoken — english (barely)

orientation — bisexual

* && 𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐲

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑶𝑹𝒀 𝑺𝑶 𝑭𝑨𝑹...

sunshine hawthorne grew up in the foster care system, according to the letter her mother left her, she was just a teenager with strict religious parents who threw her out the minute they learned of her pregnancy, and sunshine’s father was nowhere to be seen, and giving sunshine up was easier than living on the streets trying to fend for herself and a child

SEXUAL & PSYCHICAL ABUSE TW growing up in the foster care system was a lot, she bounced from family to family, and the things that happened were unspeakable. sometimes the abuse was physical, emotional, or sexual and it just caused a lot of deep personal trauma for herself that was never resolved

this caused her to become reserved, stuck up for the underdog even if it was at her own expense, just intrinsically unselfish, has always been the mom friend to a fault

she was 10 when she got adopted into an extremely wealthy family, like i’m talking top ten wealthiest families in the states, and suddenly sunny hawthorne became sunny carmichael 

so let’s take a minute to talk about the carmichael’s 

they originate from old money, i’m talking so far back it’s unclear whether or not the money they have was obtained legally or not, this caused her parents to be a little reckless w their spending

her father: sebastian carmichael is the one who inherited the wealth from his father, who inherited it from his father, and the cycle continues, he was addicted to gambling add that to the fact that he was a serial cheater and you have an extremely poor father figure

ALCOHOL & DRUGS TW her mother: davina carmichael was a drug dependent alcoholic who spent all of husband’s money to makeup for the fact that he was cheating on her, started her own billion dollar company from scratch, plans on ‘giving it’ to sunny

the carmichaels were very problematic and all of their scandals were extremely public, in fact the only reason they adopted sunny in the first place was so that they could appear more well-rounded then they were

after that would come give siblings, and it fell upon sunny to take care of all of them, so from a young age she acted extremely mature, learned to fend for herself, and still managed to have a soul flourishing with tender spots

sunny was a gifted kid, not academically, she struggled A LOT, she had trouble paying attention, couldn’t read as well as the other kids. she got teased a lot for being ‘dumb’ and honestly hated it, it’s one of her biggest insecurities to this day. but what she lacked academically she made up for artistically, she was musically inclined, and it was clear that she loved to draw (apparent from all the doodles in the margins of her notebooks)

her family capitalized on this as if she were some sideshow attraction, come see our daughter! look how good she is at painting and doodling! pay us money! and although it made her feel like some trophy the could polish and show off, and this messed up sunshine even more because she knew deep down they didn’t love her

in high school she was the bubbly ditzy popular girl, chewed on enough bubblegum to finance a new mercedes, and just was that stereotypical girl ripped straight out of an early 00′s movie

was on the cheerleading team because again i tell you she was just living her best teen life! having an amazing time! vibing!

although her parents could give her anything they wanted and were decent enough to pay the bills for her and her siblings, she wanted to provide for herself, not have to depend on her parents for anything

she got into modeling! and although t took her a while to find her footing eventually she did, and it was a great time! but eventually parents got jealous and made her quit modeling altogether, because god forbid that she get more attention than they did

eventually (and to everyone’s surprise lmao) she went to college, and somehow got accepted into an ivy league....for art! not as surprising, but her family lied and said she went to business school bc of course they did

she went to harvard and majored in visual arts, she got her degree, and got her her happy ass out of there, mostly stayed focused on her studies, occasional party here and there

she was extremely worried about her siblings and she immediately went back home to them, surprisingly they were in one piece, not surprisingly they were being raised by nannies

she applied her visual arts degree and started designing clothes, then modeling said clothes, because although her parents had enough money to get her company off the ground, she wanted to do it by herself

and she did! finally bringing a decent name to the carmichael family!

was a guest judge on a bunch of modeling/runway shows, occasionally starred in her family’s reality tv show against her will, and was so dynamic she would be offered her own, and of course she jumped at the opportunity! 

her mother tried handing off the company to her, and she declined! instead she opened up her own company selling her designs and was very hands on in learned to make cosmetics, and her company has been doing extremely well so far, it’s set to surpass her family’s company in a couple of years

as if she didn’t have enough on her plate she wanted to pursue her singing career, ended up having a whirlwind romance w a singer that she collaborated with, they were pretty serious and talked about being engaged, but eventually things fizzled out

said romance inspired a lot of her music, and encouraged her to keep going with her music career, she even worked her way up to the title of executive of their label, she’s on top of the world

she’s come a long way from the shy girl from foster care who afraid of her own shadow, but she’s lost none of her softness!

still extremely charitable and even started multiple charities all ranging from helping fund the foster care system to providing more funding for no kill shelters (she’s a vegan!) all of her charities are nation wide and oh boy does she have a lot on her plate

has....literally no time for anything else....still tries to prove to herself that she’s definitely not stressed and has so much free time! sdflksj tries to party and have fun, but mostly craves staying inside and takes baths with scented candles and just watches the same romcom over and over again 

* && 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭

....okay so maybe it’s not completely believable that she got into an ivy league with her own merit, after all she’s not the sharpest tool in the shed and spoiler alert she didn’t

her parents bribed an admissions counselor to let their daughter in their visual arts program, they even donated enough money to renovate the art museum 

all of this happened without sunny’s knowledge and she continues to live in blissful ignorance about the whole thing

* && 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲

zodiac — cancer rising, cancer sun, & scorpio moon

alignment — lawful good

mbti — infp-t

enneagram — type 2 ( the helper )

temperament — phlegmatic

house — hufflepuff

positive traits — ( + ) altruistic , committed , conceptual , curious , courteous , determined , generous , humble , inventive , imaginative , loyal , loving , organized , passionate , playful , reliable , selfless , supportive , thoughtful , and trustworthy

negative traits — ( - ) anxious , cautious , compulsive , critical , disorganized , dogmatic ,, hyperactive , indifferent , insecure , impulsive , logical , oblivious , pedantic , protective , and resilient

* && 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

please don’t feel limited by this list because i have a brain the size of a walnut and this is all i can think of these are almost all ripped off ryker’s intro bc i’m not creative

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ 𝑭𝑨𝑴𝑰𝑳𝑰𝑨𝑳....

family friends  maternal or paternal cousins

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ 𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑰𝑪...

past crush  current crush  flirtationship except she prolly doesn’t realize bc head empty  unrequited love ( on either side )  fwbs  will they? won’t they?  someone her friends are trying to set her up with  forbidden love of some kind idk maybe not  exes on good terms  exes on bad terms  first love high school or college romances  summer romance  childhood crush friends to lovers  pr relationship somebody who leads her on 

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ 𝑷𝑳𝑨𝑻𝑶𝑵𝑰𝑪...

BEST FRIEND / ROOMMATE PLOT BASED ON NEW GIRL OR FRIENDS PLS I WILL GIVE YOU MY EVERYTHING  best friends  confidants  ride or die sibling like friends  close friends  neighbors??  enemies to friends  reunited childhood friends drunk / party friends  someone she’s a good influence on  bad influence  unlikely friends  secret friends, aka friends who do not hang around in the public eye as their family or friends may not get along  #married....just they argue and love each other like a married couple

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ 𝑵𝑬𝑮𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑽𝑬...

enemies  former best friends  frenemies

#abuse tw #drugs tw #alcohol tw #wealthyhq:intro #I FINALLY GOT THIS DONE #please love me #this took so long #for no reason