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joshsbimbo · 4 months

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cute crush

headcannon

pairings: awkward! mike schmidt x babysitter!reader

warnings: awkward, bad writing (not proud of this), reader is kinda mean at the end sorry

a/n: i can’t tell if i hate this because of how awkward i made it or if it’s actually bad

anon’s request: Mike Schmidt has a huge crush on the babysitter (but is super awkward and avoidant about it so the reader is confused)

♡ let’s be real, he’s scared of commitment. the thought of him being attached to someone to the point that his happiness relies on them is terrifying!!

♡ when he hired you as a babysitter, he was desperate. your wage was barely minimum which was great for him! he did not care for your looks, just as long as you were a good fit for abby and that he could afford it.

♡ since you were coming by every night, you guys would chat about abby… which sometimes led to him burying his face in his hands and questioning why abby likes you more than him. but also to moments where you would talk about yourself, and him listening contently. he liked- no LOVED listening to you talk about yourself to him, he felt special. no one in his life just wanted to sit down and talk, sometimes abby but they didn’t share as many interests as you guys did.

♡ he hasn't had a proper crush in years, so when he starts to realize he likes you, he shoves it deep into the back of his mind. no no.. i can’t like you, you’re abby’s babysitter! he would avoid chatting with you, only when it was about abby. he would wave a goodbye or a hi in and out of the house.

♡ then he would give into his feelings, desperately wanting to talk to you, but the harm was done. you though maybe he just wanted to be professional, so thats why hes been avoiding you. but you really liked him!

♡ “hey.” it was practically a mumble, looking at you as you sit on the couch and watch tv.

♡ “oh, hey!”

♡ “i got you this, it reminded me of you.” he hands you a bracelet with beads of your favorite color(s).

♡ you smile, putting it on. “i would’ve gotten you something if i knew!”

♡ his cheeks flushed but he quickly looked away, “don’t worry about it… i… um.. im gonna head to bed.. you can stay if you like” before you can answer, he’s gone to his room.

♡ it stayed like that for awhile… small conversations before and after work and him leaving before it could get any further. you though you did something wrong, he’s never acted like this way before so why now? but he’s also abby’s big brother, so you really shouldn’t be worrying about it.. BUT- whatever…

♡ one day, you got fed up. it got so bad that you dreaded seeing him. as soon as you heard the door open, you sunk into the couch. the same stuttering, the same blushing, the same mike!!

♡ “h-hi..”

♡ “mike. what happened?”

♡ he bit his lip nervously, not quite understanding what they meant. “hm?”is all he could mumble, before biting his nails anxiously.

♡ “this! all of this.. we used to be besties but now you’re so distant and… and.. and weird. it’s so awkward, i can’t even look at you without you looking away immediately..”

♡ his breath hitched, looking down at the floor embarrassed. “i d-don’t know.” he fumbled with the hair on the back of his head, abby always said when he lies that he starts to play with his hair. they caught him multiple times in his lies, and this was one of them.

♡ “please- just tell me. it’s killing me coming here everyday, i always have to hold my breath whenever i talk to you.. its so fucking awkward.”

♡ “i..” you look at him in the eyes, waiting for him to spit it out. “i like you.” he picks at his nail as he waits for your response.

♡ you just laugh, “seriously? that’s it?” you can’t stop giggling.

♡ “w-what? “he looks up, confused.

♡ “i mean-” you gasp for air between laughs. “i just thought you were a freak, not that- hehe.. that you liked me!” tears prickle from the corners of your eyes, as you try to calm down.

♡ “a f-freak? wow..” a small smile creeps from his lips, baffled at your reaction.

♡ you soon calm down and you sit on the couch, “so.. i’m sorry for laughing but it was such a relief that you just have a cute crush on me..”

♡ “cute?!”

♡ “yes! cute!”

♡ “it’s not cute!”

♡ “mike, you were stuttering, blushing, couldn't even lo-”

♡ he covers your mouth with his hands to shush you, his cheeks bright red. “shut up!”

muah! thank u for reading <3

#mike schmidt #mike schmidt x reader #josh hutcherson #josh futturman #lamb writes

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dyketubbo · 1 year

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lesbian related discourse tires me out sm. first it was aro/ace lesbians then it was nonbinary lesbians then it was he/him lesbians and it/its lesbians and now its bi/pan/mspec lesbians like when are all of you going to realize that the lesbian experience is extremely diverse and has never been as strict as "women who only identify as women who love exclusively women who only identify as women". like this goes for many identities but lesbians end up at the forefront a lot and it makes me wonder if any of you actually give a shit about queer history because istg lesbian separatism has been reinvented like 50 times in the past decade.

stop convincing each other that the queer experience is nothing but strictly defined boxes and labels that can always be condensed into one sentence. lesbians can experience a lack of sexual attraction and a lack of romantic attraction and lesbians can be nonbinary and lesbians can be gnc and when you actually go into what those last two mean you should realize that yes this means sometimes lesbians are men because genderfluid and bigender and trigender and transmasc and whatever gender lesbians exist and when you actually goes into what THAT means you should realize yes actually people combining labels like mspec and lesbian makes perfect sense because of fucking course orientation and gender and whatever else you consider to be apart of your queer experience is all fluid its all up to personal interpretation

its not shit like bi lesbians or mogai or aroace people or gnc people or "trenders" or it/its users or whatever fucking bonafide weirdos that are ruining the community its the people who want to sort everyone into neat little boxes because they cant handle that sometimes you arent going to understand other peoples experiences. its fine if mspec lesbians dont make sense to you. its fine if it doesnt make sense to you how someone could use it/its, if it doesnt make sense how a lesbian could consider himself transmasc, if it doesnt make sense how someone could seriously mean "my gender feels like a star", if whatever queer experience you run into doesnt make sense.

someone's identity does not have to make sense for you to respect them as a person and realize that exclusionary behavior is nothing but a crabs in a bucket type mentality. not only have "weird" queer people existed since fucking forever, but even if they didnt the human experience is diverse and we still dont know everything about the world and why the fuck would you decide that no actually if it cant be understood it must be bad and you need to find out reasons for it to be bad. focus on the people who are actively hurting others, taking advantage of vulnerable people, dont become one of them. dont become one of the people who scorns anything they dont understand and hurts innocent people in the quest of getting rid of anyone who they deem is abnormal. its fucked up and being any type of exclusionist is fucked up.

bi lesbians, as an overall community, is just a bunch of people who decided that a complicated label fits their complicated attraction and thats Fine. it is literally fine. being a lesbian was never about being strictly a woman who strictly loves other women who are strictly women. its about loving women in a gay/queer way, whatever that means for the individual. if an individual person is using it in a transphobic way, then thats a fault of the person, not the label. but at its core, all the identity is about is about recognizing that attraction is complicated and identity is complicated and not everyone is comfortable putting themself in neat boxes for other people to scrutinize until they Get It.

to any mspec lesbians (and hell, any mspec gays) who are reading this: im proud of you and theres nothing wrong with recognizing that your identity is complicated and maybe even contradictory. its Your experiences and no one has the right to say that youre inherently a bad person simply because they heard some strawman arguments and decided to believe in fallacy over reality. and because its probably obvious why im making this yeah maia arson crimew is literally fine its an absolute legend actually and i hope that its okay. fuck anyone who was a piece of shit to it because they cant handle someone being openly complicated and contradictory and unabashedly "Weird"

#mask mews #bi lesbian #mspec lesbian #lesbian #only putting it on this blog because i want everyone who follows me here to know my stance #before any mcyt antis or whatever bother me i want dream dead and i hate schlatt dont bother me i just like roleplay #a lot of this blog is made up of me criticizing a lot of these creators do not even try me. thx xoxo

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hijackalx · 6 months

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*SOME DURGE QUEST SPOILERS*

***NONCON AND DRUG USE MENTIONS***

GORTASH SFW HEADCANONS:

ok to start i think when he was a prisoner his hair got rlly long and unkept and he hateddd it so the minute he escaped he chopped that shit off himself and thats why its so unruly lol (*EDIT he always cuts his own hair is what im sayin)

this man is such a taurus like everything about him screams taurus. has a taurus stellium fosho

would listen to superheaven

hes also sooo jenny by studio killers, disco man by remi wolf, happiness by the 1975 coded with Durge 😩😩

with durge hes also giving bf that ur dad hates but like thats canon. i think he likes that hes able to influence durge to the point that they rebel lol. the type of boy u run away with when ur younger

probably BLASTED jet black heart by 5SOS on repeat when Durge disappeared LMFAOO

also i kind of feel like the fearless buff to his clothing is more an insight to his character rather than him needing magic to not be fearful bcz he literally got the shit beat out of him everyday and lived in HELL how can he not be desensitized to everything at that point 😭😭😭 it does not get much worse than that my boy

hes so thique like hes just a big boned dude. tiddies SO fat too EUGH + thick shoulders/arms. he feels so warm and safe i just know it i just KNOW it gurl

also idk if it was supposed to happen but in my latest playthrough during the fight with him he dropped his bow and just started beating the shit out of us 😭😭😭😭 all hands baby like WHAT 😭😭 so i like to think thats his preferred method of fighting idk if thats canon tho i feel like i seen somebody talking abt that before but mightve just been another hc

occasionally does drugs. likes the ones that make him feel really elated (idk what theyre called in bg3 its some kind of dust or something) ALSO HC THAT HE WAS ON SOMETHING WHEN HE WROTE RHAT FUCKED UP NOTE TO FRANC (WAS THAG HIS NAME U GUYS KNOW THE NOTE) HE WAS OBVIOJSLY TRIPPING BALLSSSSS

lots of body hair…… everywhere……. straight and black body hair. that is so sexy to me let me smell the pheromones in your armpits king LMFAO (i think theres something wrong with me)

going off of rhat yes i think he smells good (DIVINE, even) as a woman that is feral and in heat all the time. but to normal ppl he may smell kind of weird. not STINKY stinky but like when u dont shower and ur natural scent starts to mix with the perfume/cologne ur wearing SORRY 😭😭😭 im trying to be realistic here. or maybe like when u wake up and didnt shower the night before and u can still smell the perfume/cologne u put on yesterday. basically what im saying is he might need to shower

hes just so masculine it drives me crazy I LOVE MEN !!!!!!!!!! I LOVE EEENERM. ME E WN

love language:

giving = lowkey getting acts of service vibes here but u didnt hear it from me 🤫🤐 gift giving too. tav is just his widdle babie and he wants to make sure theyre the happiest they can be 🥺😩

receiving = acts of service LMAO give and get back type of shit

relationship wise i think he is the most doting and sweetest person. like tav will never have to worry abt anything ever again bcz he will handle everything. takes care of them cuz they are his king/queen 😌

GORTASH NSFW HEADCANONS:

yeah going off that last hc he is sweet outside the bedroom but a menace in it. its just the way he is. its probably exhausting too 😩 like if u ask him to be gentler/less intense he will try for a while but probably wont enjoy it as much. he doesnt like to hold back.

i WILL say tho ☝🏻🤨 i think when he gets close to finishing he gets a little more soft/loving. he just has to get his badness out first yall its fine

HIGH libido wants to smash all the time. he also (POSSIBLE NONCON MENTION !!!!!!!) thinks that since ur his u should be willing to give it up whenever he wants it. (NONCON MENTION OVER) i think in the bedroom he sees u as a servant even if ur considered his equal normally. like hes a chosen of bane he has to feel like he has control over u in SOME way

can be selfish depending on his mood. sometimes he doesnt see u as anything other than a toy (lowkey hard for me to admit but i NEVA LIE GIRLS !!!!! 🙅🙅🙅) like can be such a fucking asshole about it too

BUT !!! when he is feeling generous he is soooo generous. EUGH like he will make sure u enjoy urself!!!! probably multiple times !!!!!!!!!!!!

dont know why nobody else has said he has a daddy kink. so obvious like call him daddy ms thing he will nut so hard. oh corruption kink too. like can u imagine Durge being so innocent when they first met cuz they were never allowed to get close to anybody and hes just sooo into it HELLO i got to write that fic NEOW

omg breeding kink too give him heirs. will fuck the shitttt out of u in a mating press. probably comes a lot too almost impossible not to get pregnant with him LMAO

likes to pick u up and fuck u. manhandling king. also will do the faerun equivalent to coke and wants u to do it w him then fuck nasty afterwards

i feel like he doesnt last an extremely long time. 15-20 mins is THE MOST youre getting out of him lol he just gets very excited (which is lowkey kind of cute??)

do i even have to say that this man is packing schmeat. heavy dick. heavy balls. allow me to bear some of that weight for u my liege 🤲🏻🧎

ORIN BONUS ????:

mostly nsfw

ok i didnt originally plan to add orin but listen….. gortash is a charismatic guy….. imagine orin was into him too LISTEN ! like shes jealous asf of Durge in that sense too not just bcz of them being bhaal’s fav. like when i think abt them i just am getting a vibe okay. this trio……..

every time she sees gortash and Durge acting close and doing all their yucky lovesick shit she just gets soooo mad. now imagine she shifts into Durge to get gortash to fuck her. yeah… yall seeing the vision? would he ever find out ?? imagine that was why he hates orin so much?? he doesnt want to tell Durge (cuz thats cheating hes not a cheater duh 🙄 plus hes scared theyll be mad at him) and thats why his explanations as to why he hates orin are so vague

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate #enver gortash #x reader #gortash #gortash x durge #gortash x tav #gortash x reader #headcanons #bg3 headcanons #my headcanons #dark urge x gortash

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nr1chaedickrider · 4 months

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finally.. the long awaited doughnut theory of mine, before i start im gonna tell yall that a theory isnt smth canon, and everyone sees it differently. so this is my theory!

Music videos you need to watch so it makes sense: Doughnut, Kura Kura, Better

Better MV

Since this mv only has one scene that in my opinion fits my theory im gonna do it first (pls watch the mv before reading this, the scene is with dahyun rather in the end)

So we all know that the better mv was released wayyy before doughnut, but there is this one scene with dahyun that i first havent even noticed when i watched the mv, but the second i saw it i knew somehow that it fits my theory well.

Im talking about the scene where dahyun puts her finger over her mouth, in a way to maybe signal us to be quiet?

But why should we be quiet? Is smth gonna happen years after the mv? What is she planning on doing?

Doughnut MV

obviously, this mv is the most important. again, please watch it before reading this part. (im gonna try and keep it short)

Very important is the guy in the mv, pay attention to who he meets (Tzuyu's phone call doesnt count, ill explain later)

Members that met the guy: Nayeon, Jeongyeon, Momo, Sana, Chaeyoung.

All the members i have just mentioned are dead.

Killed by the guy, I dont really know why he did that.

"But Tzuyu called him!" Yes he called him, but you cant realistically kill someone over a telephone call.

Now to the most important people: Dahyun, Jihyo and Mina (Tzuyu is important too, but she doesnt play a big role in the doughnut mv)

Dahyun and jihyo:

These two have smth going on in the mv its weird, maybe its jealousy, maybe something else im not sure. But what im sure about is that Dahyun murdered Jihyo.

You can see that in the scene where Dahyun does the finger pistol thing and Jihyo falls down on the ground of a place that has similarity to the.. heaven?

The bridge part:

The way Dahyun sings her lines and first she looks proud, happy, but she suddenly looks like she has no emotions? no smiling or anything.

in my opinion, this shows her guilt, her realising "i killed jihyo".

this isnt really important to my theory, but i find it weird how michaeng are the only members that "clearly" have a scene together (ofc they sang together but still...) maybe chae is trying to warn her? maybe mina is trying to warn chae?

The scene changes to jihyo singing her high note.

What can you see on her white dress?

Something that looks like someone shot her (dahyun's fingerpistol while aiming at jihyo?)

the wound is shaped like an heart, maybe dahyun killed her out of love?

The camera goes through jihyo, and who do we see?

Dahyun eating the doughnut in the beginning at the crime scene where mina was.

"But what does that mean?"

Guilt.

In her bridge part, she realised she actually killed jihyo, her solution? Killing herself by eating a poisonous doughnut.

so thats how dahyun died.

"What about Mina?"

Mina is alone in the whole mv (except the table scene and the michaeng scene), she wanders around, sometimes she is running.

It looks like she is searching for something. But for what? Her dead friends?

Everyone died except Mina and Tzuyu in the mv, until...

Kura Kura MV

and again, please watch the mv before reading this part.

only a few scenes in this mv are important for my theory.

dahyun sitting under a tree and eating grapes.

just saying it like this sounds dumb, but if you know a little of religion then it is odly familiar.

(im not an expert on this so sry if its wrong)

adam and eve had the same thing just with apples,being not allowed to eat them bla bla bla but eve does it anyway.

meaning = she sinned.

what did dahyun do? killing jihyo, a sin (obviously)

survivors guilt:

definition: Survivors guilt is a particular kind of guilt that develops in people who have survived a life-threatening situation. Some survivors feel guilty that they survived when others died. Others believe they could have done more to save the lives of others.

"Who couldve had survivors guilt?"

Tzuyu.

Why else is she killing herself in the kura kura mv? Drowning herself after everyone died and only her and Mina survived.

Leaving Mina completly alone.

The whole kura kura mv shows mina alone, her sitting alone in a cafe.

when she leans against a wall, it cracks. Why?

Because she has no one behind her, no one to help her.

All the TWICE members die except Mina.

Ayy i finally did it!!!! this was fun ngl...

i hope yall enjoyed it, i kinda feel like an nerd bc im so invested in twice lore its crazy.....

i left out some things (for example the way jeongyeon was trapped in both doughnut and kura kura mv) since i didnt wanted to make it too long and in my opinion some of the things are not that important for my theory so...

#feeling silly #twice imagines #twice smut #twice x reader #twice #doughnuts #twice doughnut #twice doughnut theory #twice lore #doughnut mv

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goatpaste · 9 months

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watching through p2 of jojos again and it never like, it never stop feeling weird to me how weirdly human araki wrote the pillar man. with so many traits and points make them feel like complex characters, heros of their own story, just weirdly feel sympathetic and human to the point of connection to them.

Like Josephs point in making on meeting santana that 'we can assume he's just bad, this is a fucked up situation to be in maybe so we should give him the benefit of the doubt'

whams WHOle character good god could i put a lot of talk into him

Esidisis behavior and way of acting

Kars enjoyment of animals and plants and for nature in general, a wish to walk in the sun and just kinda a dislike for human people. The way he violently mourns for his fallen family

but none of it matters because you know araki wanted them, even with flaws, to be the main villians. thats all it is. a greatest evil on earth to deal with even if they show human traits.

but it feels so weird, because when im like 'idk i dont think the pillar man did anything wrong, let them do what they want, like sorry joseph but im not rooting for your side' im kinda not kidding. like yes your supposes to assume the worst of the pillar men and their intentions and what they'll do to people if they can walk in the sun. but like, they barely did much when walking around people at night unless they deamed them a threat to themself or something they cared about.

idk i think this comes back around to my feelings that BT really should have been a lil bit longer and fleshed out. its such a shame because while i knoW araki was just wanting to get shit done and move onto his stand stuff, he introduced such a rich cast of characters who if given a bit more time i think could have made such a fucking wonderful and complex narrative... like to the point of the pillar man but to everyone else. Joseph got a strong character introduction only to just kinda get worse and stand still imo. i still like him but i think he could have done a lot more if the story was a bit more fleshed out. Him a caesar actually getting to develop some sort of actual relationship on screen that isnt the two of them fighting and sometimes caesar admires joseph's skills or whatever. JOSEPH AND LISA LISA TRAININGGG, i would have KILLEd to see joseph and lisa lisa do anYthing togeatherrrr... the subtle hints to be dropped of lisa lisa past and her connection to joseph..

idk what point im trying to make actually, im just thinking about how weirdly soft and kind we see the pillar men in moments at time and not just as pure evil being and it feels so weird to remember that were supposes to be rooting against them is all. i feel like we were should have had more insight into their group and lives and feelings and maybe even what they were up to while joseph trained. idk man idk, just kinda thinkin out loud

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fictionfixations · 7 days

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genderfluid (& androgynous)

someone called riddle genderfluid and now i cant unsee it

(imagine its a fem day. and he just sits there with a skirt. and radiating dom energy. my minds too stuck on bamf ladies. also you dont have to wear a skirt if you dont wanna, i just like em. but uh. its like a superiority thing. (bruh imagine someone bumps into them- or.. wHATEVER pronoun. uh. fuck. i said them for riddle cause im too used to he/they characters. wtf pronouns do i use for him??? uhm. but so someone bumps into riddle. and then they just blurt out 'pls step on me'. and hes like wha? [cuz he comes off strict and intimidating, but hes also sometimes clueless/oblivious, poor sheltered bby] and then they eep and run away hehehehe ...imagine he asks cater what that meant [because cater knows a lot of weird stuff]. cater spits out his tea like WHAT. HUH? actually LMFAO- 'i never expected to hear those words come out of riddles mouth! and he said it so straight-faced too!')

..i have a hunch you probably thought id put 'step on me mommy' but

im. kind of not a fan of the sexualization of those words cause now i can never unsee it when its just an innocent version

i feel like.. riddle has a lot of problems with his mom. one including not wanting to be too similar to her, or being compared to her (and regretting that he'd basically become a mini-her for awhile there, although in more serious words)

(also how do genderfluid people do pronouns?? [i have no gender so i dont get it] ive seen in some writing they use like. she/her on a she/her day. or he/him on a he/him day. but could you also just... stay to another pronoun too? i mean. theres probably she/they and he/they that works there. she/he does too. ..is it she/he? or is it she/him? probably she/he. idfk. i mean. i have a bias towards he/they. but like. if you're leaning more towards feminine.. do you match feminine pronouns too or is it just based on how you're feeling and it can really just go either way??? i kind of want to write a genderfluid riddle in a purely self-indulgent way. but i dont know what to do about the pronouns or if i should change them)

anyway

maybe thats my bad cause i like referring to him as a queen instead of a king (HE WEARS HEELS TOO. we love a short king. LMFAO)

(he wears heels because the queen and the first heartslabyul housewarden wore them. and his uniform is modeled after the first heartslabyul housewarden. this is iirc mentioned in his halloween vignette)

this is future me

he could definitely just be androgynous too and not afraid to use it

okay

spoilers for a JP card but

here. (a card i desperately want in the future, even though ill probably never actually use him)

which since we're here. vil. with his androgynous energy. who is also referred to as a queen. .........

honestly. i dont think he really cares that much about either way? or. that. i think im wording that wrong

like.. wearing dresses or suits, i dont think it makes a difference to him. for 1, he knows he rocks it. 2, assigning things to 'female' and 'male' and then saying the other cant wear things the opposite does is dumb (i still refer to them as feminine or masculine to differentiate them, my issue with it is then restricting it)

so he just. sometimes

to prove a point, wears short hair (or something that leans a little more towards masculine-y) with dresses

actually he kind of does that already

its just a coincidence LMFAO

i think its just more to fit the occasion

cause in this his hair is tied up

also damn this mfs pretty

anyway i think thats enough vil LMFAO

i got so off topic

#riddle rosehearts #genderfluid #androgynous #vil schoenheit #twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #twst #writing ideas #thoughts #fic ideas #random stuff

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bunnywan · 7 months

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what’s the a/b/o to misogyny pipeline???

(i want to start by saying i dont think all a/b/o is misogynistic. i don't think most of it is written with misogynistic intent, either.)

also: ive written an abo fic. right after i wrote though i started getting exposed to the misogyny thing by my obikin writer friends and (despite my fic being alpha/alpha and avoiding what i think the most glaring issues are), ive contemplated deleting it, but these same friends have talked me off it. im going to try to rewrite some parts in the future tho, since there are parts that i look back and wince at. but, im growing and learning everyday, like everyone else. well. maybe not everyone lol.

in omegaverse there is a submissive biological class. hopefully i dont have to explain to you that in omegaverse, omegas (the submissive biological class) are "woman coded" (for lack of a better way to put it ig), and alphas are "man coded." heres some of the most common omegan "traits" that are pretty much universally accepted: able to bear children, self lubricating hole, heat (time of the month, anyone?), emotional neediness, physical weakness (compared to alphas), desire to please alphas, instinct to obey alphas. heres some of the most common alpha "traits": ability to breed omegas, stronger than omegas, dominant personalities, instincts to protect omegas, sometimes uncontrollable sexual urges when exposed to an omega.

so we're already in misogynistic stereotype territory. dystopian, even. "wouldnt it be great if women omegas literally were wired to submit to men alphas!" its gender roles with biological backing.

a common trope in omegaverse fics is omegas "thinking" they "dont want it" (to be a stereotypical omega/listen to alphas/have sex with alphas), and then hey! in some cases, the right alpha comes along and the omega learns that they were wrong all along and submitting to being a baby making hole that likes to be ordered around is actually wonderful! (like when you tell someone you dont really want to have kids and they say "youll change your mind", because what else are you gonna do with your life? youre a baby making hole.) in other cases: an omega might not figure out their purpose until mid rape -- and their tiny omega brain and helpless body cannot resist giving in and enjoying their own sexual assault because that's what their body is for (getting fucked by an alpha).

you see how this is fucking weird? sit back and think about the term "bitching" for a minute and decide if you think thats patriarchal or not.

again, i don't think every a/b/o fic and author is misogynistic, but the world itself it built on misogyny so ... its hard to separate it completely. and its a very convenient avenue for projection by authors, whether it be intentional or not.

this was just what came out of my brain in one sitting, but i think its gets the baseline of the point across. feel free to message me or send another ask if you wanna talk about it more!

#tw rape mention #anon asks

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detectivehole · 2 months

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on anon since i dont wanna be mde fun of but ive had detailed premonitions ever since i was a child, mostly warnings of things, and i havent been wrong before which i find especially strange. i dont dream much, but when i do, half the time their so abstract i know its metaphorical, and the other time its incredibly realistic and down to earth. you get a sense in your chest when you wake up to one of those and you know its a premonition because things just fall into place in a certain way. its very off-putting? im not spiritual for the most part its just weird

the one i remember most was predicting my dads cancer diagnosis.

in the dream i woke up early and got dry cereal because the fridge was broken, then got the news around midday. then i woke up really early irl and was like huh! weird lol. then the fridge broke and i was like huh! okay im worried and then my dad got news and i was like Ah shit. well thats weird isnt it. has happened a couple times since

psychic parapsychological experiences are also something im fascinated by! im skeptical of them as well, but less so than the supernatural. idk anything dealing with... perception of time(?) i am a little more "well it COULD be real" about. its like sea monsters it just seems a little silly to be staunch on What Is Out There like man idk the water is pretty deep and the mind is pretty complex how can i be sure?

sucks that its offputting, and that you ever predict bad news, but it makes sense itd feel and seem strange and maybe not always be so great. such is life i suppose

#mine #ask #ghost stories #its not one but thats the tag for these ig #oh and uh. sorry about your dad i hope everything is ok?#feel free to share more

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cherry-dr0p · 3 months

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I WISH TO RAMBLE!! IM NOT GONNA INCLUDE IMAGES BECAUSE I DONT WANNA BUT HERE WE GO

HUGE TWF4 SPOILERS

I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY!!!

Im not gonna lie, the start kinda had me like "This is what I waited ages for?" But then when the animatronic testing came around, thats when my interest truly started to pick up.

First of all, WHY WOULD YOU TGINK THAT FACIAL RECOGNITION FOR ANIMATRONICS IS A GOOD IDEA??? GENUINELY DID NO ONE HAVE THE COMMON SEMSE TO GO "HM, THIS MAY END NOT GOOD". Like I kind of understand the appeal for it because they may want the kids to feel,, more connected to the animatronics?? I dunno. But like?? I can understand for that time period the desire to have the animatronics interact with the audience (Not saying its a good idea but at least I can understand with this one why they may think it is in my head), but cmon..

Then from what I remember, the sprites came. And Good god did they creep me out slightly when I first saw them, especially Edd and Molly. I dunno, there was something extra creepy in my eyes seeing kids' faces messed up like that. Crazy. I also screamed when I finally saw "Bon" because Ive been keeping up with the Twitter TWF community somewhat, which means I already technically knew about "Bon". It was pretty cool to have him finally introduced in the actual story himself. Also Charles and Susan talking about Felix's addiction and if they should tell Rosemary and Jack(?) is crazy.

Aaaahhh but then the scene with Jack came around. Was rooting for him ngl. I honestly thought he died at the well scene but I dont see any correlation to that quite yet,, mayhaps. Felix almost jumping did make me feel a tiny bit bad for him bit like,, still. Fuck you Felix. I still hate him and 100% think hes getting what hes deserving. He feels guilty? Good. He should.

I cant remember if the Susan scene comes after this or not but I erm uh,,, That was VERY well done!! It gave me chills how you could still hear her breathe. Genuinely. The blood as well and Rocket closing their eyes?? Crazy. The jittery animation drove me insane, it was such an amazing detail that made things far more uncomfortable.

I cant remember where abouts the other Felix scene came but,, HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH ROCKET. I DUNNO,, DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN TAKE IT WITH YOU?? PUT IT IN YOUR HOME OR RESTAURANT?? WHY DID YOU THINK THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA. I SWEAR, MY GUY HAS NEGATIVE BRAINCELLS... But I also think we all know why he's so attached,, him getting haunted by the kids is wild.

The last scene very much makes me think "Bon" is Jack. I unno, very much could be wrong but just the way he talks and is dressed makes me think he is. The fact that he knows so well of what hes talking about and the voice,, maybe the general face shape too. Me thinks its either Brian(Ive saw that theory floating around) or Jack, but Im more leaning towards Jack. It also freaked me out slightly the way Susan came on all deformed too, that was freaky. The voices of all the characters in this new afterlife were very VERY cool too. And the whole mask being given and "Bon" talking about making her "beautiful" too? That was cool. The scene with Edd and Molly debating whether to save Susan too filled my heart with a weird sort of awe. They have a great relationship as siblings together imo, I do very much love their dynamic.

It'd be cool to see the other two episodes for the finale which I think are coming out very soon!! Which is very exciting!! I 100% reccomend TWF4, it's phenomenal and the wait was 200% worth it in my eyes. You can definitely see the developers heart and soul being put into this project, which is very nice to see. In my eyes, you dont see it often. I dunno if I missed out a scene or two from my rant but overall? I adored watching this (Ive already told some of my friends to watch it >:3).

Rant over anyways, buh bye for now :3

#The Walten Files 4 #TWF 4 #TWF4 #TheWaltenFiles4 #THIS WAS SO GOOD #IT WAS BETTER THAN I EXPECTED IT TO BE #My honest reaction to Felix feeling guilty but doesnt do anything to help himself at all at the same time #WHAT IS HIS ISSUEEEE #You can tell what I think of Felix LMAO #Hes actually my second favourite character though #Felix is v interesting #But Brian Stells will always have a special place in my heart #God bless the man with two to five minutes of screen time

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demadogs · 1 year

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would love to hear more about your S5 Mike arc take

HELL YES!!! happy to share!!!! so some of these are genuine predictions with evidence from what ive seen in the show, but some of it is more of a fanficy kinda vibe of scenarios that are plausible but not influenced by genuine predictions i have. for those that i am confident in, i will link my posts explaining the evidence that supports my prediction. the first few parts are more genuine predictions and the later parts are just my brain making shit up.

also this isnt gonna be one of my “why i think this will happen” posts, im just going to write out mikes entire s5 story arc the way i see it in my head.

how it starts

so s5 starts out where we left off. mike and el still together but a little distant. theyre not fighting or anything but theyre not anything like s3 when they were constantly ditching their friends to makeout. people around them dont see an issue in their relationship but they both know its not what either of them want. (if youve read carry on i see them as how agatha and simon were portrayed at the beginning of the book).

the byers need housing back in hawkins and el wants to stay with hopper in his trailer while they work to fix up the cabin. the rest of the byers stay at the wheelers. jonathans sleeping in nancys room and will is sleeping in mikes.

mike and will have a couple more moments like we saw in s4 that could make it obvious that something might be up with both of them. maybe a conversation similar to the “hawkins isnt the same without you” scene. a scene of them both getting ready for bed talking about what they think is gonna happen next with vecna and everything. not the first night, but eventually maybe mike tells him to sleep in bed with him if will has a nightmare or something. little things like that.

the supernatural plot escalates and will and vecna have a deeper connection than anyone else. vecna is going to torture will in some way so im thinking maybe one of vecna’s methods of torturing will is to torture mike. vecna and will would have different interactions and conflict but mike would be vecna’d in the same style that max was.

how the audience and el learn mike is gay:

(this ones a genuine prediction. heres a post talking about why i think so but read it after you read this)

so now mike is cursed. no one knows including mike. everyones so caught up on protecting will because they all believe he is in the most danger so no one is looking after mike. then mike falls into that trance. (this is maybe 4 episodes in.) the whole partys there when it happens. el immediately puts on a blindfold and static noise and tries to piggyback into mikes mind to fight vecna the way she did with max.

mike doesnt know el is there while hes tranced. he doesnt see el the way max did. maybe el tries to touch him and mike feels a weird phantom feeling on his arm and he looks at it in confusion but he doesnt see el at all.

mike is in the mind lair and hes calling for will. he hears vecnas voice saying his full name. then he sees vecna and he starts saying shit about “friends dont lie” hes asking what happened to that motto and wasnt he the one who insisted that friends dont lie in the first place? “but youve been lying to everyone havent you michael”.

mike is shaking his head and vecna has him cornered and hes denying it but obviously terrified and he says he doesnt know what hes talking about and vecna says “you know exactly what im talking about. its not my fault you dont like girls”. and THATS the line that reveals to the audience that hes gay.

then maybe mike is able to run away but then he starts seeing shit. he ends up in his own basement and sees will and believes hes out of the trance and hugs will but he shrugs him off and tells him “dont touch me”. his eyes are all wrong and hes realizing hes not awake yet. vecna will starts calling him out on his feelings, telling him he would never love him back, that he doesnt even wanna be friends anymore. mike runs away and he just keeps seeing visions like this of everyone he loves. his family not accepting him. his friends not accepting him. el being mad at him for lying.

we are seeing els reactions to all of this too. shes been trying to use her powers to stop vecna this whole time. eventually in her pov everything goes completely black and shes in that weird void thing meaning that mike must be out of the trance. she hears mike panting and crying and takes off her blindfold and sees him awake with will holding his hand or shoulder and him looking at the ground.

eventually he looks up and sees el and at first his face doesnt change but then he sees her holding the blindfold and a pile of tissues with blood on them next to her and he connects the dots and starts to panic. will tries to reassuringly tell him that el was piggybacking trying to save him not realizing thats why hes freaking out. el says his name and tries to calm him down but he just gets up and locks himself alone in a room.

little pause for a second… listen. MIKE IS OVERDUE FOR A FULL ON PANIC ATTACK OK!!!!! we see will express his emotions every single season!! the last time we saw mike completely break down was in s2 when he was yelling at hopper. ever since then hes been trying so hard to bury his feelings and be someone hes not and make sure NO ONE finds out about him and now hes been outed to his girlfriend. he would completely break down. like full on sobbing, maybe throwing up. I WANT HIM TO EXPRESS EMOTIONS EVEN IF THEYRE TERRIBLE ONES!!!!!

el and mikes final breakup/ mikes first coming out:

mike is having a full on panic attack. hes on the floor crying and el is outside of it. he locked the door but el needs to see him so she tells him shes coming in and she uses her powers and opens the door. she closes it and sits next to mike on the floor. at this point hes silently crying and his hands are shaking but hes not as bad he was a few minutes ago. theyre both silent for a bit. mike speaks first and he whispers “did you see all of it?” el says yes.

mike starts to cry more and just starts apologizing profusely and el stops him by just pulling him into tight hug and he hugs her back for a long time. he starts telling her that he never wanted to hurt her. el tries to tell him shes not hurt right now but mike argues and tells her that hes hurt her so much in the past. he tells her that he made her feel like she was unlovable and that she was the issue when he knew deep down that it was him. that there was something fundamentally wrong with him. el tries to tell him theres nothing wrong with him but he insists that there is.

then el admits that she doesnt think she ever was truly in love with him either. she tells him that they both were just trying to do what everyone expected them to do. she didnt know any better because she had just left the lab and was still figuring out how to be a person, let alone a girlfriend. and people expected mike to like her just because she was a girl so he just went with it even after he realized he didnt feel that way. neither of them have ever been true to themselves for as long as theyve known each other. she tells him that he taught her what a friend was. and she missed her friend mike and wants to go back to that. mike tells her he wants that too and they hug again. (i want this scene to be the sweetest most wholesome breakup ever).

theyd also have a conversation of el being confused on whats wrong with him liking a boy. i think it would be really beneficial for mike to hear from someone who was never taught to hate people like him. it would give him so much relief to see potentially the number one person he never wanted to know just be absolutely baffled on why its a bad thing.

while theyre still hugging el says “for what its worth i think he likes you back” mike denies it and el insists that the way he looks at him says everything but mike wont even listen hes convinced he could never love him back.

then mike remembers something and asks a question. “what about the painting?”. els confused. she asks what hes talking about he tells her that will said she commissioned him a painting for her. “if you really didnt love me then whyd you have will paint me that?” she tells him she never told will to paint anything. mike is confused and telling her everything will said in the van. that he gives her the courage to fight on and he needs her. he asks what all that was about if she didnt feel that way and shes just confused. “he wouldnt even show me what he was working on. i told you i thought it was for someone he likes.”

“but it was for me.” el smiles and mike is still not convinced but hes kinda going crazy.

so now mike and el are broken up in the most wholesome way ever and theyre on better terms than theyve ever been but everyone thinks theyre still together. and mike for the first time thinks theres a chance will loves him back and he doesnt know how to act or ask him about it.

mike and will in the upside down:

(the only thing that led me to believe mike and will would be stuck in the upside down together was the upside down couch they sat on in the cabin. other than that this is entirely just what my brain came up with, not an actual prediction)

so skipping ahead, the vecna/upside down plot is getting spicier. shits going down. honestly im WAY better at imagining/predicting gay plots than scifi plots so i have no fucking clue whats going on with vecna and shit its just wild rn thats all you need to know.

i imagine almost all of them having to be in the upside down for some reason. then theres a scenario with some kinda monster like a demodog where they have to sprint to the gate back to real hawkins to be safe but the gate is closing back up. it would look like max’s running up that hill scene. theyre all getting closer and closer but then mike falls (classic) and will sees and goes back to him. the gate is closing more. he helps him up and they both start sprinting again but they dont make it. the whole gate closes up right when they get there and now theyre completely separated from all the friends and family and are alone in the upside down.

theyre able to defeat whatever was after them (will with a gun 👀) but now theyre stuck. maybe they get in a little argument where mike says “i told you to go on without me!!” and wills like “you think i would just leave you here!!!???” they both sit down against the wall the gate was on (like a brick wall or something). they try to come up with a plan and will brings up that maybe el help them some way and he mentions her being mikes girlfriend and mike tells him they broke up. wills very surprised about this. he asks if hes ok and mike tells him its better this way and he means it. (its now been a couple days since they broke up). they hear distant sounds of a monster and tells mike they shouldnt be here. theyre too exposed. (keep in mind mike is being kinda awkward because hes still thinking about the painting and what will said in the van that day and wondering if el was right and that will does love him back but he hasnt brought it up to him yet.)

they get up and make their way to the upside down wheelers house. they enter through the basement and its the same that it looked the day will went missing. the table is set up with the dnd campaign they were playing on november 6th 1983. mike tries to get comfortable on the couch but will just cant stop looking at the table. then he sees the dice on the floor with a 7 pointed up and they flashback to s1 of will telling mike it was a 7.

mike says his name and will remembers hes there and kinda startles and mike asks if hes okay and he just tells him that its just weird seeing everything from that day again. mike agrees. they get more quiet and tense thinking about that night will went missing.

mike brings up that they never finished the campaign. that he was begging his mom for the him and lucas and dustin to stay for 20 more minutes. he tells will he wonders if everything wouldve been different if he had stay. if vecna wouldve grabbed some other kid and they wouldve never known about this other world beneath them.

theyre thinking about that first night will went missing and mike asks if wills ok being back here again. he tells him its not as bad this time around because hes not alone. mike starts to get emotional thinking about when will was missing and he opens up to will about it. he tells him about how they all were there at the quarry when they found his “body”. will didnt know they were all there. he tells him that it was the worst night of his life because he thought he lost him forever. then he goes into talking about when the mindflayer had him and he thought he was losing him again, and then how will moved away. hes starting to cry because he has a deep fear of losing will for good and hes at a huge risk with vecna right now and hes so scared something will happen to him. will reassures him and tells him “im right here” and mike is silently crying and will just pulls him into a hug and they stay hugging for a long time. will tells him “im not going anywhere” while still hugging him.

they separate from the hug but still have their arms around each other and dont let go. its kinda awkward. mike is the one making it awkward. he looks like he wants to say something but isnt and is looking wills lips a lot and theyre so close to each other. will thinks he knows what hes thinking but doesnt dare say anything to ruin it so he just lightly nods his head as if to give mike permission if whats hes thinking is true. and then mike leans in and kisses him.

(IT HAS TO BE A SOFT TENDER KISS I DONT LIKE ALL THE MAKEOUT SESSION HEADCANONS I JUST WANT IT TO BE SWEET!!!!)

mike pulls back and at first he looks like hes about to panic but wills just looking at him with the biggest smile and it immediately puts him at ease. mike says “the painting was from you” and will doesnt know what hes talking about at first so mike continues “you said it was from el but it was from you” will confirms that it was. “and everything you said after…” “yes it was all from me” and mike kisses him again. (i also am imagining this as like the second to last episode)

(another more dramatic first kiss i have in mind is during a huge supernatural conflict and its just them and they completely believe theres no way theyre making it out alive and will is telling him that this is it and mike just kisses him right before all hell breaks loose)

post kiss byler

but of course we cant have nice things right away so theres a bit more angst before theyre a completely established couple. they fall asleep on the couch together in the upside down and in the morning they wake up and something chaotic upsidedown related is happening. again, i truly cannot even begin to guess/predict any of the actual scifi plot of the show so dont ask me what this is but its SOMETHING OK.

they dont even have time to acknowledge the kiss the night before or the fact that they woke up in each others arms. they have to fight whatever the conflict is in the upside down.

eventually they are able to escape the upside down and reunite with everyone. once theyre back with all their friends and family but mikes acting a little different again. hes shutting will out again and will is so confused.

(this is loosely inspired by the show the wilds. shelby whos very closeted and comes from an extremely homophobic family is on a deserted island with a bunch of girls and she falls for one of them whos out and she basically tells her “youre FREE here you dont have all that family trauma youre literally on a deserted island” so she kisses her. then later she sees a boat in the distance and she hesitates to make a signal with the fire because shes so scared to go back to her normal life with her homophobic family. mike is kinda experiencing that here. hes back in the “normal” world and is going back to trying to be who they want him to be, not who he just was with will.)

mike is kind of ignoring will when theyre around everyone. he deliberately doesnt sit next to him, he only talks to him when will talks first, hes basically scared that everyone can tell what they did. then will finally finds him alone and talks to him. at first hes hopeful and trying to be kinda flirty and make him laugh and mike barely has a reaction and then will confronts him.

“did that kiss mean nothing to you” mike immediately looks up from what hes doing and makes sure no one else is in the room and will notices. “what?” will tells him hes been different since they got back and hes acting like nothing happened and hes barely acting like theyre friends let alone anything more. and theyre both silent and will says “are we anything more?” and mike thinks before he speaks and then tells him that he did that in a world where there were no other humans. no laws, no expectations, no people to say that what they did was wrong. “thats not the case here.” and will gets mad at this and says something like “so what are you just gonna drop everything and be what everyone else says you should be?” mike doesnt answer and then will asks again “did it mean nothing to you?” and then theyre interrupted before mike could answer.

then later maybe the same day, mike is going somewhere to tell one of the older kids something or to get something related to what their big battle plan is and he sees robin and vickie through a window in a different room kissing and being super happy and flirty with each other. he stops in his tracks and just watches them and hes in total shock because he felt like there was no one like him his whole life and people like him couldnt be as happy as what hes seeing right now. he just continues watching them laugh while holding each other. i also think it would be great if steve was also there and he sees this former asshole douche being supportive of his best friend and letting them just be themselves so freely. he starts to tear up watching them. (this ones inspired by the book i’ll give you the sun this exact scene happens at a party).

that night mike and will are getting ready to go to bed in mikes room again not talking. will gets ready to sleep on the floor, a set back from when they were sleeping in the same bed. the lights are off and wills pretending to try to fall asleep and then mike whispers “it didnt mean nothing.” will turns and face mikes bed and then mike asks him to come up and will hesitantly joins him and mike sits up and faces him.

then this is potentially mikes most venerable scene in the whole show. he tells will absolutely everything. that when he and el moved he realized he was missing him the way he shouldve been missing el and it gave him the worst panic attack of his life when he figured out why. he stopped caring about himself and everything and everyone. he hated who he was. he didnt have the energy to hang out with his friends, to do his hw, to clean his room, to shower, to eat, and he stopped calling will. he just stopped doing everything. but what he continued to do was keep his relationship with el, and the more he did it the more guilty he felt. he didnt want to break up through a letter but he also didnt have the guts to do it in california and then when el confronted him about never saying he loves her he felt so much worse. he wanted nothing more than to actually love her. he hated that he loved will instead.

he tells will that he remembers how his dad would act when he went to wills house as a kid. how they overheard lonnie talking to joyce about them being “too close” one time and neither of them quite knew what he meant by that until later. he has so many little moments like this in his life of people letting him know that its wrong. that he is wrong. and he never ever thought will would be the same way and he never thought any boy could feel that way about him. mike whispers “i just want to be normal” and will says “since when are our lives normal?” and mike kinda laughs but hes also crying. wills holding his hands and tells him “mike, youve been through so much worse than being in love.” and then mike kisses him again!!! yes they have to kiss at least twice this is my mike arc and i make the rules. i could be more detailed in this whole scene but this has been in my drafts for weeks and i need to finally post it.

established byler/mike coming out:

then i really want mike to have a coming out scene with nancy or his mom but honestly id prefer nancy. i just think theres such a lack of wheeler sibling content and id really love if there was a scene like will and jonathan but for mike and nancy. i imagine them both being in the car on their way to somewhere related to the scifi plot and mike tells her that he and el broke up and they talk about that for a bit. and nancy asks if hes happy and mike says yes. and then mike starts to tell her why hes happy and eventually comes out to her but hes still terrified as hes doing it nancy pulls over just to hug him and its very emotional and sweet.

i also really want a scene of them coming out to the party but honestly im not sure if they will just because now there will have to be like 3 coming out scenes already. they might do the party instead of nancy or karen which id be ok with but they also might skip ahead and have them both already be out.

during the epilogue-ish scene they usually have at the end of a season after the supernatural plot has died i want another sweet byler scene. i love the concept of them going to prom with the whole party as a group but just mike and will find their own room to dance in and be themselves and feel safe. i need some fluff before the season ends.

AND THATS IT I DID IT IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO FUCKING LONG!!!!!

#this is whats been living in my brain for months #this whole thing #i love taking inspo from other shows and books and making it byler #byler #stranger things #mike wheeler #eden answers #byler predictions

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suffarustuffaru · 8 months

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Reading your tags about how people miss the very obvious "there's some fucked up shit boiling underneath" regarding Otto, just gave me a sudden realization. Otto is the only character I know in fiction where they act all innocent and drive up the "clumsy", "just in the side-lines" and "straight-man (heh)" persona. When. Like no one's in the EMT camp is buying it. They know he's way more capable than he let's on. Meanwhile, the tomfoolery is completely brought on by the Western audience.

Like Otto is failing miserably to make other characters believe that he's not up to mischief, Roswaal even thinks it can bring his downfall. But the audience, who even sometimes *sees* his fucked up thought process, is buying it.

*head in hands*

no u bring up so many good points bc ive been really thinking about this for a while T^T its such an interesting phenomenon in the difference in perception otto has between the japanese speaking half of the fandom vs the english speaking half which can be explained by—yeah. media illiteracy mainly. im also putting my head in my hands anon T^T

because—okay sorry wkdndn im gonna get into meta again but hear me out bc this pattern of the fandom underestimating otto is interesting bc i kind of sort of i cracked the code maybe??? o.o i think the nature of otto is a character is that youre SUPPOSED to underestimate him at first, just like what happens sometimes in universe. i mean wayyy back then i definitely wasnt expecting him to get more depth added to him in arc 4–which was a pleasant surprise—which is also the reaction the vast majority of people have to reading/watching arc 4, along with the other vast majority reaction which is being a bit endeared to ottosubas friendship and respecting otto for being a good friend. and then its easy to underestimate otto bc of 1. all the chaos going on in rezero at any given moment and 2. hes almost always overshadowed by other characters doing worse shit or being more insane than he is and 3. otto of course damn well knows hes easy to underestimate and counts on that. thats what he did against roswaal in arc 4. plus—i mean even aesthetics-wise hes 100% DESIGNED to be easy to underestimate. his outfit and physical features make him look either friendly or frazzled or soft. so i think that the point is that we were supposed to be kind of fooled—at first.

because yeah, we’re endeared to otto. we respect him for helping subaru the way he did. we think that hes a nice person and we now support his actions especially after feeling sympathetic towards him after learning his backstory. (or at least the average audience member will think this wjdndn.) but like—you dont even NEED to look at any side content at all for it to dawn on you that theres something Wrong. with him. like all you need is main route arcs 3-8 aka ottos entire screentime thus far, because at arc 4 its so easy to overlook otto unless youre thinking a bit deeper (for example—he gets violent with subaru. like yeah its entertaining, its played for laughs a bit, yeah subaru needed to be snapped out of his own head, but was it 100% necessary??? why did otto have this response??? bc if you just look at the main timeline otto really decided to beat up subaru first. and bc this tendency is now Less Funny in arc 8).

but even if youre just looking at rezero face value, when you get to arc 5 its starting to get even more clear that ottos weird in the head. like we already saw him being very good at scheming and planning in arc 4–in arc 5, we find out about otto hiding the tome for a year. we find out WHY hes been hiding the tome for a year. the tome then leads the witch cult into priestella, so like—in the sense, otto is RESPONSIBLE for arc 5. but theres STILL a tendency sometimes for the audience to continue underestimating him even though by this point we’re getting more clues and many characters around otto, like you said anon, KNOW hes very capable. i keep wondering why this is, but arc 5 is, again, FULL of chaos and different storylines happening at once, so its so easy to almost kind of forget otto there in the background until he occasionally pops up again. plus otto serves an additional role as comedic relief sometimes—he spends all of arc 5 being bitchy and whiny (i say this affectionately HAH) about his camp being full of disasters, for example, so i think the natural response from the audience tends to be “aw otto!! what a silly guy!!” sometimes. you know? so its like. i think at this point some people tend to be like “yeah fair that otto was wary of roswaal and thats why he saved the tome…. anyway ooooh whats going on with these other plot points” wobsbss. its so fascinating bc—ok this might be my own personal experience but anyone reading this pls tell me if you agree or not—i dont think ive seen a lot of people actually even MENTION otto bringing the tome into priestella attracting witch cultists. and the english speaking fandom LOVES to go into certain characters’ wrongdoings so why gloss over otto????

the only explanation i have for this is that from arcs 3-4 underestimating otto is. kind of the point of his character UNTIL you get to arc 5 and the clues in the main story start seeping in even more. and also the western audience DOES have media illiteracy a lot. theres that too. just look at rezero content on youtube or reddit or fanfic sites or other things of that sort T^T but no yeah i think ottos nature as a character exacerbates it. youre supposed to start asking questions about him. youre supposed to start connecting the dots and then SUDDENLY its now EXTREMELY obvious in arc 7-8 and even while theres so much chaos going on its basically shoved in your face. arc 7-8 is just delivering on all the leadup that was arcs 3-5.

and i think that youve gotta be media illiterate for sure to NOT get that otto is not squeaky clean and innocent BY ARC 8. i think that ottos the deconstruction of the loyal best friend trope, and also a mirror into what subaru couldve been like if he decided to be more ruthless instead of jumping right to forgiveness and saving everyone, except sometimes that flies right over the audience’s head wkdndnd. it confuses me bc ive seen some people completely miss the point or completely agree with otto and overlook the Bad Parts of it or, you know, STILL think ottos perfectly sane—like T^T please.

and yeah so back to what you said about otto Not being underestimated In Universe—its such an interesting detail bc hes ALWAYS been simultaneously pathetic and Very Competent wjdndnd. but yeah no all of his friends have seen various hints and clues and evidence of what hes capable of. like even though he hid the tome from them successfully and even though hes hiding info now its INEVITABLE that its gonna blow up in his face one day. like you got characters like garfiel who literally saw otto punch the wall and break his hand in an unhinged fit of rage, julius who got snapped at by otto and while julius is a Bit naive definitely knows somethings off there, anastasia whos smart as hell and definitely knows not to underestimate otto, and roswaal who, like you said anon, literally went out of his way to stop otto from breaking his hand in another unhinged fit of rage and warned otto that he will literally be destroying himself if he keeps going on like this. its this fascinating dichotomy bc otto is NOT fooling anyone around him but at the same time his current schemes are mostly unnoticed—for now—which yeah i havent seen that in a lot of media!!! its an interesting balancing act bc people around him realistically know hes competent after seeing the Proof of that for the past couple arcs, but otto is still finding ways to try and Win…

which—again, the anger and violence is an extension of arc 4 otto!! this is the same guy!! hes always been like this!! ottos kind of stayed the same, deep down, this whole time and as an audience its ONLY shoved in our face with a big gigantic spotlight on it FOUR ARCS LATER, but it was hinted to all this time. and like you said anon—we LITERALLY see ottos fucked up thought processes. literally what sane person thinks any of that shit. its spelled right out for the reader HAH T^T which—yeah. media illiteracy…. and also this whole ask was a longer way of just saying that otto is VERY easy to see at surface level if youre media illiterate. but at the same time it should be very easy to figure out otto is A Bit Fucked Up bc tappei underlines it in bright red print!!! i think people sometimes just hang onto soft awkward silly otto and forget about the rest T^T either that or they dont think he cares about subaru at all. which. that phenomenon of thinking characters that do care about subaru Dont Care is also interesting to me bc why????? we’re at arc 8 and you STILL dont get it??? o.ooooo

but yeah apart from that….. i said this earlier but yeah sometimes some people agree with ottos realism in arc 8 which is. understandable, but the whole point is that he is EXTREME. with it. hes Not in the right here, but the same crowd that wants wanton revenge in rezero is gonna agree with that kind of stuff T^T ottos been lurking in the background so much so that tappei made it meta by doing the whole “walking in darkness” part of his character, so i guess people just. dont see ottos ACTUAL worst traits and instead think he would ditch subaru at the first opportunity or something. but at the point we are now, arc 8 ottos problem isnt that hed ditch subaru. his problem is that he would sacrifice the world for subaru. his problem is that he gets extremely angry at subaru for trying to do good. his problem is that hes trying to micromanage everything around him and is willing to sacrifice anything necessary to get what he wants. but sometimes people dont get that bc otto doesnt look sound or seem like a character thatd do that. the Underestimation part of his character is doing too well on. certain audiences. please T^T the soft and awkward and silly parts ARE part of his character just like all the Darker parts are!!!

additionally im also wondering if western audience perception of otto is also clouded by the fact that otto looks and sounds more feminine / androgynous and he doesnt have the appeal of Overt Power either……. he cant Really be waifu-ified… and he cant be used as a weird self insert like subaru…. and you Have to look at him closer to understand him…. and for some reason people dont tend to hate on him so aggressively, if anything people cant even see his actual canonical flaws half the time wkdndn so if youre not paying attention otto CANT be aggressively hated on bc theres nothing there if ur not looking at it….. and if youre not paying attention otto seems more “boring” compared to the others…… (not that people arent allowed to not have otto as a favorite character bc thats totally fair but im talking about the tendency to think hes Saner than he actually is.) but yeah these are just my guesses. i have no clue the western fandom is a little T^T some people unfortunately cannot read.

anyway. big thank you to the japanese fanbase for understanding ottos character more and making so much wonderful fancontent for him T^T also i think that we as a collective fanbase should stop underestimating otto in general bc its exactly what he wouldnt want and i think itd be really hilarious. <3333 make him explode with rage please

#rezero #ask #yeah sorry this response was so long wkdndnd but yeah ive been thinking on this for a while…#like ottos a very key side character thats given a lot of focus and yet hes?? largely ignored in english fanbase #but also rezero is a special case i feel bc for some reason a LOT of people misread it so easily. all the time. even fans thatve made it to #arc 8. why???? T^T rezero is so divisive i feel and for what??????? why?????? why do people miss this the story makes it obvious what its #about??? not to mention the LITERAL anime episode called THATS WHAT THIS WHOLE STORY IS ABOUT WNDNDN #tappei basically slamming u in the face with otto being fucked up fr too HAH….#its like ottos falling into almost the same kind of stuff that rems perception by some people does. which is u know ignoring her problemati #traits of Being Obsessed With Subaru. shes a loyal ‘waifu’ and ottos a loyal friend but he cant be waifuified so easily and hes not front #and center in the sense that rem was also the second main love interest skdndnd #which i think might be the common fandom problem also of overly focusing on romance bc people notice rems loyalty more than they do otto at #this rate. bc rems the waifu. ottos only the friend. hes ‘less important’.#its interesting to me. bc why??? with other characters ppl either erase all the good or the bad out of them but with otto hes just in stasi #hes just kind of. there.#rip otto the bad luck made him cursed to always be in the background #it just confuses me so much T^T the difference between jp fandoms perception of otto vs english fandom is STAGGERING #otto suwen #the other day i accidentally got dragged into an argument on reddit bc someone tried to correct me on otto and i was like ?????? WHAT SANE #PERSON DOES ANY OF THE STUFF ARC 7-8 OTTOS DOING…???#they were like ‘otto wouldnt do anything for subaru’ and i was like ‘lmao whys he trying to have louis killed then 😭😭😭😭’#‘whyd he try to let 50 million ppl die then?? 😭😭’#‘WHY DID HE DIE FOR SUBARU THEN’#like ottos not gonna indulge subaru with everything thats not what i mean by he would do anything for subaru. he would do anything as in he #would sacrifice so much for subaru. but some people just see subaru doing it then ignore otto trying to do the same thing but in a differen #font???

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pesterloglog · 4 months

Text

Jade Harley, Roxy Lalonde

Act 6, page 6291-6297

JADE: excuse me but did you just "laugh your ass off" at me under your breath

ROXY: ummm

ROXY: yea

ROXY: maybe

JADE: :|

JADE: i fail to see what is so amusing

ROXY: u do

ROXY: seriously?

JADE: .....

JADE: ok i guess the situation is a little funny because of this absurd folder

JADE: and the fact that i woofed at you probably didnt help either

JADE: but im not here to share a good laugh over the old ladys sense of design or her penchant for scrapbooking!

JADE: i am here to make sure that you do as youre told

ROXY: ugh

JADE: now take the file and review your assignment

ROXY: i already looked at it

ROXY: its dumb and impossible and i aint cooperating w her regardless!

JADE: yes you will

ROXY: can we change the subject

JADE: no

ROXY: arent you jakes grandma

JADE: thats what he told me when we were pen pals

JADE: but i think its more accurate to say im his alternate universe biological daughter

ROXY: oh

ROXY: that clears that up then

JADE: yes, it does :p

JADE: now take the damn folder

ROXY: so alt grannydaughter english

ROXY: whyre u part dog + evil lookin

JADE: DO NOT CALL ME THAT!!!

ROXY: what

JADE: my surname is harley not english

JADE: but you may refer to me as jade, or ma'am if you are feeling especially nervous and deferential

JADE: which as it turns out is the way you should be feeling about me, ALWAYS >:B

ROXY: LOL!!!

JADE: lol WHAT

ROXY: jade i am in no way buying that ur normally this pompous and tyrannical

ROXY: the shtick rly doesnt suit you its so obvious

ROXY: why you doin the batterhags tacky bidding anyway

ROXY: she got you under an xtra terrestrial fish spell or

JADE: SILENCE!!!!!!

ROXY: OOF!

JADE: open the file

ROXY: mrphmmphumph

JADE: OPEN IT!

ROXY: fine :(

ROXY: ok i opened it

ROXY: hey look its the same shit as before

ROXY: im supposed to make this weird knobbly spike ball appear out of nothin

JADE: yes

ROXY: ok got it

ROXY: let me give it a shot then

ROXY: ...

ROXY: welp still impossible

ROXY: what now maam??

JADE: it is not impossible

ROXY: is 2

JADE: you are the rogue of void

JADE: dont you know what that means?

ROXY: i dunno

ROXY: means i can turn invisible and stuff?

ROXY: like the blonde in that crappy superhero quartet

JADE: it means a lot more than that

JADE: your true powers are more impressive than those of anyone else in your crappy quartet

JADE: in fact i would say they are almost as cool as mine >:)

ROXY: not sure the ability to make weird spikeballs outta nothin is all that cool tbh

JADE: not just spikeballs!

JADE: imagine that your title is roughly synonymous with "one who steals nothing"

JADE: what do you think it means to be able to steal nothing?

ROXY: it means

ROXY: im like a shitty cat burglar who sucks at her job?

JADE: WRONG

JADE: it means just the opposite

JADE: it means you can steal the essence of nothingness from something

JADE: you can rob nothingness from an idea if you put your mind to it

JADE: effectively allowing you to conjure virtually anything out of thin air

ROXY: omg

ROXY: u cant be serious

ROXY: that is way too much superpower 4 a dork like me 2 have

JADE: grrrrr...

ROXY: oh no

ROXY: pls dont growl @ me dogjade

ROXY: is legit frightening :(

JADE: im sorry, but your remarks of self deprecation made me very angry

JADE: once i was even more of a dork than you

JADE: but now i am one of the most powerful beings who has ever existed

JADE: i dont want to hear any whining about what you think you cant do

JADE: you are hereby under strict orders from myself and her condescension to "clam up" and conjure that orb, do you understand?

ROXY: so im just supposed to

ROXY: sit here and think about this ugly ball

ROXY: and twiddle my fingers or somethin

ROXY: ?

JADE: you tell me

JADE: space is my racket, not void

ROXY: maybe it would help if i knew what the dang thing WAS

ROXY: how am i supposed to steal the nonexistence from a concept when the concept only exists in my mind as "ugly ball"

JADE: its called the matriorb

JADE: it is the key to resurrecting the troll race

JADE: once you create it the empress will hatch it on an uninhabited planet located beyond the reach of her cruel employer

JADE: there her people will have another chance to thrive without the ever looming threat of extinction that comes with his influence

JADE: so you see roxy, there is nothing noble about refusing to help

JADE: once an entire alien race went extinct because of a terrible monster, and you can help give them a second chance

JADE: dont you want that?

ROXY: um

ROXY: in theory sure i guess

ROXY: but ur basically asking me to bring a lot of people back to life so they can be slaves to that witch

ROXY: u want me to help make all these fresh new trolls but then just turn em over to her? like here you go have fun SNORKELBITCH MEGAHITLER

ROXY: i do not actually think i wanna do that??

JADE: yes fair enough, but heres the other thing...

JADE: if you dont i am going to kill you

ROXY: oh noes

JADE: oh yesses!

JADE: a literal plurality of yesses

JADE: seeing as you are a god tier it is very likely you will come back to life

JADE: so i can just keep killing you over and over a different way each time

JADE: maybe i will disembowel you a few times

JADE: i will not even need to use my sharp doggy teeth!

JADE: i will just snap my fingers and your delicious guts will teleport outside your body

ROXY: ew!

JADE: no way more like yum

JADE: i will just keep on killing you again and again

JADE: until you finally get tired of dying and follow your orders

ROXY: maaan

ROXY: evil jade is sucky jade

JADE: i believe you will find i am the suckiest jade there is

JADE: now we are going to be here in this cell for as long as it takes

JADE: i am not going anywhere until you try doing your voidey thing and make something appear

JADE: is that understood?

ROXY: blehhhh

ROXY: fine

ROXY: why u gotta be so awful jade

ROXY: really putting a cramp on us makin choice new friends w each other

ROXY: oh well here goes

ROXY: all twiddlin my fingers and such

ROXY: busting out tha MAJYYXXX! prayin up a storm to the holy wizardchrist they aint fake...

ROXY: alright check it

ROXY: one jank ass space egg coming up

ROXY: ABRACA HAPPEN!

ROXY: this is not a space egg

JADE: no, its not

ROXY: balls

ROXY: guess i effed up my void spell

ROXY: what is this thing

JADE: thats a perfectly generic object

ROXY: its perfectly generic?

JADE: yes

ROXY: dunno about that

ROXY: looks like a green cube to me

ROXY: with like

ROXY: slightly beveled corners

JADE: thats what a perfectly generic object is

ROXY: couldnt something theoretically be more generic than this

JADE: how

ROXY: um

ROXY: i dunno

JADE: exactly

ROXY: :\

JADE: if you want your powers to reach their full potential youre going to need to become more familiar with the fundamental building blocks of ideas and how they translate into more complicated thoughts and forms

JADE: then it becomes a simple matter of using your abilities to snatch those concepts from unreality

ROXY: sounds too hard

ROXY: better start killing me repeatedly and get it over with

JADE: we both know you dont think its too hard, you think it sounds like an interesting challenge

ROXY: dammit!

ROXY: (fucken jakes wily bitch ass grandma)

JADE: this is a very good start though

JADE: with a little practice im sure our empress will have her orb in no time

ROXY: well at least i know i can make a whole lot of these boring cubes if all else fails

ROXY: hey maybe ill build a sick fort outta them

ROXY: hehehe jade tell me that wouldnt be so baller

JADE: it would be fairly baller

ROXY: fyeah

JADE: keep trying for that orb though

JADE: i will return in a while to review your progress

JADE: and remember, dont get any funny ideas

ROXY: but p much all my ideas are funny

JADE: i mean dont try to escape!

JADE: even if you are invisible i will be able to track you down instantly

JADE: my sense of smell is very good

JADE: now if youll excuse me i have some business to attend to

ROXY: what business

JADE: i am still trying to locate my brother

JADE: but im having trouble picking up his scent

JADE: hes using his windy powers to obscure the trail and its giving me fits

ROXY: windy powers eh

ROXY: who is your bro?

JADE: woof!!!

JADE: i mean shoosh :x

JADE: that is enough questions from you

JADE: now i believe you have a space egg to conjure

ROXY: (mumble mumble egg mumble shove it grumble)

JADE: what?

ROXY: (mumble mutter my fat ass)

JADE: farewell roxy

#homestuck #jade harley #roxy lalonde #homestuck act 6 #page 6291 #page 6292 #page 6293 #page 6294 #page 6295 #page 6296 #page 6297 #homestuck act 6 act 6 #homestuck act 6 act 6 intermission 1

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colrana · 11 months

Note

i miss parker do you also miss parker (this is a request to hear more about your megan + parker interps)

omg...thank you for handing me the mic im so touched

the answer is yes! i do miss parker macmillan. i also miss megan ito! i miss them both so much. (also i feel deranged how it is confirmed that the book was the reader but im keeping my megan ito as reader thoughts forever!!!!)

i mainly focus on their relationship / megan ito more than just solely parker, but thats just how i go i suppose! parker to me kinda works in my brain how i believe that megan ito would exactly see him, and its kinda fitting in that way? (i do feel bad for that though) (im also paging @citadarkisle because hes my fiance and my parker interp is *heavily* based off his! he got more indepth thoughts on parker than i could ever muster)

so the way megan would describe parker would be this: a broken player who is a rival both and a friend, and full of *potential* melded up in one ball! with one issue: the parent issues. at least, thats how megan ito summarizes him and his issues. she kinda molds him into her narrative and makes him ripe for the saving and for the salvation that she truly believes she can bring to him.

parker in the meanwhile is kinda...passive to this? she isnt particularly harmful to him, and just having his boundaries be, as he would maybe describe, *gently* walked and trampled all over isnt really as bad compared to the literal hell his life is with being pulled at ten million directions and somehow being hated and revered at the same time... so like megan? yeah shes kinda like...maybe agreeable to that.

they have a roommates situation at megans place which is kinda pathetic-sad. awkward, quiet nights sleeping in the same bed because their relationship is like........ .............. incalculable. there is admiration there, but wrong? its to the left. there are arguments and boundaries crossed, but never to the point where they ever break off their friendship. and even saying *friendship* is odd. they were friends, yes! but then they got into a weird grey area........

i dont think theyve ever held hands or kissed or brushed arms or anything like that, actually. i dont think theyve had the silent-love filled room moments where they lock eyes and are smitten or like, believe that each other held love for each other. i think they knew they were in some *position* but not sure what it was. i mean they sure as hell were something more than basic friends. i think parker had normal friends somewhere in his teams! and megan too! but oh my god i think they were just in an interlocked battle that parker want *nothing* with but megan just had the fixation to keep holding him on.

i believe that megan is at heart a kind person and didnt mastermind the stolen forcefield out of ill will. i saw that action as a last resort for her. that she was willing to put their friendship on the line to make *visible* change in parkers life. she had an infatuation with fixing his issues, to finally pull him out of his shell, and to be *right* most of all. its kinda why i draw megans gaze towards the symbolic *orb* whenever i draw them together. i just love the symbolism of her being so fixated on something that doesnt exist, or doesnt need to exist, or that she never really properly took his words or history or anything truly to heart because she *felt* for his *situation* more than *him*.

you ever feel compelled to solve something for someone else? a problem that is so deep and beyond your means but feels so *tangible*? that youd do anything and would throw yourself into it to finally have it accomplished? to solve it *for* them, because you think you can see it from the outside and that gives you the authority and allows you to rob them their agency? these are the sort of questions that i play around with the parker + megan relationship as a whole....

i hope this wasnt too long!!! id love to elaborate more on specific details if anyones curious, but yeah! thank you ; - ;

#megan ito #parker macmillan #blaseball #not art #thank you again ;_;7 i love talking about these two theyre my blorbos #ESPECIALLY megan......yes im a megan apologist. but in the fun way you know?#i also want to add that as someone with ocd that my megan interps helped me with this realization that i actually lived with obsessive-#thoughts my entire life and this just......yeah! i put a lot of brain power into these twos relationship ;_;#blaseball tag

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multifandombullshitbabes · 1 year

Text

i love the idea of like. in the au where nigel lives and him n alex run away n shit. and they learn to live together through less than ideal circumstances. how they still dont rly get it, they dont get why they r truly doing all of this.

(this turned out to be way longer than i thought. but oh well. its always the same with good ol me)

like nigel is delusional n believes in smth bigger than him and alex to drive him forwards and give him purpose. he needs to have a destiny and when he finds alex he thinks "oh. oh this is it. i have to show him the truth, this is amazing, alex has to know abt this!". so he only stays with alex in the assumption that that is his destiny and there's nothing else he can do. this is it. he WILL stay with alex.

and alex started by being weirded out, annoyed, but ultimately intrigued by nigel. and then the train thing happened. and then he realized nigel wasn't just some guy who killed animals he just let his friend fucking die in front of him. and he now believes his like intrigue comes from some weird mind connection to nigel, that is bad and that nigel started because nigel is bad and alex is the victim in his mind, so he rejects it as much as he can. he rejects everything nigel tells him n does cuz he cannot face how he can see nigel do all this shit and still be intrigued, interested.

and then nigels parents die. alex kills nigel's dad, and seals his fate in nigel's weird game. he's now an accomplice theres nothing to be done, hes lost. while nigel feels like their path is so fucking clear. its this juxtaposition that rly makes those last scenes between the two so interesting. alex knows he's done for. nigel thinks they've just begun.

so then they run away. because they're in on it together now, alex has no choice but to run away with nigel. nigel just puts this in the "this is meant to be" list for their destiny, their path. and i bet those first months together were fucking ROUGH i mean. running away aside, they were downright volatile with each other. i feel like alex would be explosive and never rly knowing his own mind in the sense that "wtf am i doing with my life" so he takes it out on nigel and blames him for everything. and nigel just takes it because at least theyre together, he just needs to wait 9 months for the maraclea thing and then they can continue with "their" plan.

its fucking chaos, it isnt good, and these boys cannot for the life of them see that they have feelings for each other. thats the kicker.

its another thing that panics alex, that he thinks doesnt make any sense because 1) nigel is a boy (religious trauma lets goooo) and 2) nigel is very fucking unwell. alex feels HORRIBLE, dirty even by his feelings, because of these 2 things and it all makes him hate nigel even more.

and nigel? he doesnt even realize them. he just assumes his need for alex's acceptance, the way it hurts whenever alex screams and glares at him, the way he sort of likes it, but most of all how he cannot get the tiny moments of peace they have out of his mind, that its all just. part of the plan. theyre together, they have a maraclea, everything makes sense. everything else is happening because their destinies r being fulfilled. he never outs 2 and 2 together and says "i have feelings for alex"

and i think theres a BIG, CATASTROPHIC "Oh" moment that really sets them both off, but in opposite directions.

alex in a sort of understanding, a sort of "oh. im not a monster for liking nigel.", a weird kinda of peace of "well we made it this far. theres no point in just pissing in his own cereal. they're here, they're alive, and they're young. so why the fuck not?"

nigel in a total mental breakdown, foundations crumbling, nothing makes sense type of thing. like maybe things arent so simple as he thought, that their destiny is more HIS destiny in the sense that hes the only one that believes in it. but then alex is still here. why? "oh. something went wrong. this is not how it's supposed to go. i fucked up our destinies." like he truly feels like he failed somehow, failed in doing something impossible and not real, and he cant fucking compute because of it.

and i think it happens when they officially know that the police gave up on trying to find them. alex is the most relieved. nigel doesnt care. he needs to go to his maraclea still and he tells alex as such and they have their 1000th argument that day.

they are not going back, alex says. they need to go back, nigel says. to finish it. and alex is so DONE. hes done with nigel's shit, he doesnt even get it, never let himself think much abt the other boys for various reasons, but now? now he MAKES himself think abt it. and alex is intelligent. and he knows more abt nigel than he thought. nigel is just stubbornly clinging onto his og point, they have fates, their intertwined, etc. it all makes sense, im your spade, your my jack, duh. we have a higher purpose, thats why ure here. and its THIS that finally breaks alex and he busts out this:

"im not here because of some made up destiny you believe in, im here because i want to! ME! not Jack, who is dead, Alex! i want us both here, i want to stay here, i wanna keep this!"

and alex finally gets it. because as much as he'd like to pretend like he's hated being on the run with nigel, deep down he knows, he knows because hes seen glimpses of it, he knows he can be at peace with nigel. it would scare him so bad when he felt comfort at coming back to his and nigels place cuz how dare he feel that, thats wrong, everything is wrong. but if everything is wrong than everything is right, and nothing fucking matters. alex realizes that they are SAFE. they escaped. they run away and it WORKED. and theyre both alive. and theres something so calming abt it that it resets alex completely. yh he doesnt truly get nigel. but he wants to. he doesnt want to lose their peace and he doesnt want to lose nigel. and it doesnt scare him anymore. its just what it is. its okay, theyre okay, they will be.

but nigel is not okay. he does not get it. what do u mean you WANT to be here as alex? no, its jack. doesnt matter what they were before they met, those boys dont matter. now he's jack's pike nothing else. he cant understand why alex would cling to an old life where they had no purpose and therefore no reason to keep on living. he does not understand why alex of all ppl, who does nothing but show him how much he hates nigel, would want to stay for any other reason than he HAS to. thats the whole foundation of this, nigel never cared for all the insults n shit because he saw how alex stayed, and how he kept buying nigels fav tea, or how he tried to like dogs more even tho hes more of a cat person. its all for the destiny. for the cause, the order. theres nothing else that makes sense. and nigels never been more lost.

so nigel goes "youre here because you have to be. you have no choice, thats the whole point." and THIS is when alex gets nigel. and hes like oh shit, oh he got rly fucked up growing up huh. and now alex has to try and make nigel understand that no, he is not here cuz he has to, hes here because he wants to. now hes more afraid that if he makes nigel understand that, makes him see that he can just live life without some greater purpose cuz its already so good to be alive, its a fucking gift, hes scared nigel will choose something that tears them apart, like leaving, or full on ending his life, or turning himself in or smth.

so while alex is trying to start that convo, nigel just gets more and more agitated because he can see that alex is not getting it and he needs him to cuz otherwise his life doesnt make sense. and he does smth impulsive and runs out of the door. he needs to be Away. he cant stay inside a place theyve made their own when he thought they understood each other but he doesnt understand anything at all actually.

alex panics, naturally, and they havent gotten phones yet cuz they didnt want any tracking to be done (now they can have it, now that they know theyre somewhat safe) so if nigel is gone, than hes gone for good. and alex tries to follow but nigel screams at alex to stay away. and its the first time nigel's been properly angry at alex. so he stays. and he just hopes that nigel comes back cuz atp what else is he gonna do but probs fuck it all up again.

its pouring rain, and nigel just walks. he just wanted distance but now he panics because hes not supposed to be away from alex, wtf is he doing, but also is alex even his jack? and he jsut spirals more n more, he doesnt even notice hes walking with just socks on.

what if this is still part of their destiny? he clings to that but to his dismay and horror it is way harder than he thought. he was so convinced he knew the way forward but he isnt sure now, so now he looks back at everything he's ever thought ever since he met alex and doubts. he doubts it all. was it ever real? were they even chosen? did he have any purpose? and as much as he clings to "yes" he only truly believes in "no". should he have seen the signs? that he was wrong? was alex right? there was always this competition between them, who was right and who was wrong and both believed they were right. and nigel thought he must be right because he had the books and history to back it up. he believed in all that. and now his parents are dead, and susan, and theyre criminals, and he did it all thinking he knew everything and now he realizes maybe it was all for nothing. but the one thing that he used to think that completely refuted this was alex staying. he never wouldve out of his own free will. why would he? theres no logical explanation. and nigel NEEDS some logical explanation for this cuz it cant be "alex wants to be with him" that doesnt make sense, alex doesnt make sense. jack makes sense. he's solid. why isnt he real? he doesnt understand.

when he goes back its not because hes reached a conclusion. no hes faaaaaaar from it. but his stuff is here and he is attached to his projects, his weak humanity showing through. and alex is still there. and then the weirdest thing ever happens.

alex starts to banter. hes normally all insults that are meant to hurt. but when he calls nigel a "wet rat making a mess of my floor with all that mud" its just teasing. and then he give nigel a change of clothes and "threatens" him to shower or else, but its not really a threat. nigel is very lost, but this is his jack and he'll just. do what he says for now. when he gets his head back on track he can fight back. but sometimes u need to lay low and then come back online. so he showers (alex makes sure the water is warm), he changes, he uses alex's slippers per alex's demands, and then the doorbell rings. hes confused, cuz they dont have any friends or anything, but then alex opens the door and grabs the pizza boxes from the guys hands and pays and its only now that nigel notices hes kinda hungry, and it is late. past dinner time for sure. they have this old tv that barely works but has a dvd player and alex sits in front of the couch with the pizza and tells nigel to "fucking sit down or i'll punch u". so nigel does, and they're watching some old fantasy esque movie that hes not paying attention to cuz wtf is happening. alex eats the pizza, nigel holds one slice and doesnt move. just stares at alex. he notices and asks, honestly, "u dont like the pizza? idk ur tastes that well so i went for basic pepperoni." nigel sees a teenager in front of him and realizes belatedly that only a few months ago they turned 18. alex looks young. he is young. he has sauce on his cheek. and then nigel says "ive never had pizza before" and eats it. and its fine. but then alex laughs at teases him abt him having no life whatsoever, what a loser, and scoots closer to him, and suddenly the pizza its the best thing thats ever happened in nigels life, and he hasnt gotten it yet, not fully, but hes willing to play along and understand it along the way.

its the first time he willingly lets himself to something he just feels like doing. hes never done that before. it scares him. alex leans over him and pats his shoulder with his head and that scares him too. he's seeing alex now, not jack, and all he can feel is how warm he is right next to him, full of blood, and alive and red. its a heady feeling.

and this is how nigel starts to get that there is no otherworldly purpose to life. life just is. and he gets alex as a bonus, isnt that neat.

(they still have a longgggggg way to go to figure out their romantic feelings, but one thing at a time yall)

also: alex being very touched starved and always showing his affection physically, which nigel finds confusing but accepts cuz he lowkey likes it, even if it confuses him a lot. and then he does it back on his own initiative once, cuz he saw alex stare longingly at a couple hugging and holding hands and kissing and he was overwhelmed with a need to show, not tell, alex how much he cares for him. so he wakes up next morning and hugs alex from behind while hes coming back online with coffee and alex almost burns himself. anyways. nigel being confused by tenderness and alex reveling in being able to be gentle with someone finally

#like minds #nigel colbie #alex forbes #like minds 2006 #nigel colbie x alex forbes #forbie #apparently this is their ship name #hey look i posted a thing #this is me writing lads #they are living rent free in my mind

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