#ive never played more than a few minutes of any of the games

[hellodropbear]

like she used to (IV)

alexia putellas x sister chapter I, II, III

sorry this took longer! have been very busy with work and uni for the past few days :)

~~~~~~

Aitana has been suspicious of something all week. I feel her eyes on me during training, when we're in the locker room, as she drives me home and as I walk up to my front door.

But she doesn't say anything and I am grateful. Because if she did say something, I don't think I would be able to answer without telling her every single thing on my mind.

Nobody wants that. Not me, not Aitana. Probably not Alexia either.

So instead, I sit in the midfielder's car quietly, only speaking when she prompts me to, although even that has slowed down over the past few days. She was confused the first time I told her I didn't want to stop for ice cream, and I was grateful that she didn't ask again.

"you're sure? You've never refused ice cream before, lena!"

All I could do was shake my head, keeping my eyes focused on the road ahead.

I get home and I go straight to my room which is easy enough, considering Mami comes home from work late. I am supposed to be going to school, but Aitana doesn't know that and Mami doesn't know any different. She thinks I am there, and as long as I pick up the phone to my personal tutor in the evening, the school won't bother contacting my mother.

I shouldn't be skipping school, but I can't face going there and being asked all those questions about how great it is to be training in the first team, to finally have broken through into a squad that I would hopefully play with for most of my career.

But it isn't great, not really. My life has become a game of hide and seek, escaping rooms that my sister enters, too afraid to even face her.

I am not scared of her, more of what she will say. I am barely coping as it is and anything she says will just make it worse. It is best to just leave her alone, keep my distance.

And I think she thinks the same. She said she was going to take a step back, after all.

Not that is has been any different from before she took that step back. Her back was already against the wall, on the other side of the room from me. Any further and she would leave my life completely which does not seem possible, considering we play for the same club.

But I wish she wasn't so far away, I wish that I could just reach out and grab her attention, for her to know that I needed help without even having to ask.

And it hurts me, more than I'd like to admit, that her friends know exactly how to make me feel better, to make me feel valued, worthy. But she is just there, like a fly on the wall, always watching but never doing anything.

Even the more clueless ones have started to realise that things are not perfect between me and Alexia. We are never in the same room together, I leave training with Aitana every day. It is obvious, we all know it.

So they don't push us together. They don't talk about Alexia to me and they don't ask why we don't drive home together, why she isn't the first person to give me a hug if I score in training.

They don't want me to be compared to her any more than I already have been.

Because on top of all the personal issues, there is a lot of pressure, being her sister.

'Will Elena Putellas follow in her sister's footsteps?'

'The younger Putellas - set to be better than Alexia Putellas, but still hasn't come off the Barcelona bench.'

I've seen the articles, of course I have. Nobody ever mentions it though, nobody mentions the pressure I am under, the pressure I feel to live up to the expectations.

Of course I will not score as many goals as her, of course I will not make a debut at the end of the match like a midfielder often does. It is a lot harder for a centre back to come on as a last minute sub. It is harder for a centre back to score so many goals.

There are feasible reasons why they are saying these things, but none of the news sites think to explore those reasons, exclusively focusing on the negatives.

I don't bring it up because I think that if I mention something even slightly about my emotions, every single thing I feel will all come rushing out, a tsunami wave that will destroy everything I have worked towards.

I have to be strong; I can't let a little bit of pressure overcome me. Alexia had pressure, and she was never swallowed by it.

Alexia was not weak. I can not be weak.

But it feels like the tide has been pulled back, brewing in the deep dark depths of the ocean, preparing to build and build and build until it all becomes too much, until it is here, a huge wave ready to swallow me. Too late to escape, too late to stop it.

But quelling the wave does not seem like something I can do.

The only thing I can do about it is play my piano.

It is thing I am most grateful for, my piano that brings me closer to my father, the one thing I have that nobody else does.

I may not have his memories, but I don't think any memories could match the connection I feel, just sitting on his stool, my fingers dancing on the keys that his hands once graced, the keys that we used to play together.

It was the one thing that we shared, just the two of us. Something that neither of my sisters or my Mami could understand. All they know is to leave me be when I am playing the piano. I don't want to be interrupted and they don't want to face the wrath of my anger if I am stopped before I am finished.

Because it is the only way I can express my emotions and the emotions do not stop coming until the song is finished, until there is a puddle of tears in my lap, fed by the streams that track down my cheeks.

So they leave me be. I want them to leave me with my emotions when I play the piano. But they also leave me with my emotions when I sit in the lounge room, staring at a blank tv screen, staring out the window at just about nothing in particular. I wish they would realise that I don't always want to be left with my emotions.

I wish they could notice that something may be wrong, something more than just the loss of my sister.

Because it feels like more than that. I have never felt so lost in my life.

There is just so much going through my mind at any one time and I can't let it out because once I start I will not be able to stop until my walls have burst and I am nothing but an empty shell of who I was before.

Everything I once was is gone.

Replaced by confusion, hurt, sadness.

And I don't know why, because Alexia isn't all of me, football isn't all of me.

I know it shouldn't be but it feels like it is and even though Alba is right there as well, and Mami and my friends from La Masia, all I can think of is the fact that my older sister doesn't want to be my older sister any more.

And I can't stop thinking about what it could be like, if it was still what it used to be.

~~~~~~

I spend another two weeks wallowing in my confusingly overwhelming emotions before Mapi decides to intervene, intercepting me as I walk towards Aitana after training once again.

"No, you are coming with me today, pequena!"

I didn't even realise Mapi was here, her rehab finishes at the same time as Alexia, an hour before training ends.

She beams and throws her arm over my shoulder, ignoring my disgruntled expression.

"I will see you tomorrow, ABC." I murmer softly, but both Spaniards can hear it.

They both think I am too short to see the concerned look they throw at each other, but I notice it. I notice everything.

Mapi guides me out of the facilities and into her car and I can feel her concern grow as she inspects me from the drivers seat.

"You are not ok, Elena."

Her words are soft but understanding. It surprises me how she could just pick it up like that, I thought it was less obvious.

I thought it was less obvious because nobody has brought it up to me before.

I shake my head, not trusting myself to say anything without crying, although at this point it feels inevitable.

"That's ok. It's ok to not be ok, you know?"

I nod and she continues.

"When you came over the other week, I told you to talk to someone, but I don't think you have, have you?"

I continue my vow of silence by shaking my head, my eyes concentrated on how my hands shake and fidget in my lap.

I am too concentrated on my hands to realise that my eyes have filled with tears, to realise that the first one has slipped out. I only notice when the fat tear lands with a splat on my thumb and I stare at it, my mind full of confusion and unfamiliarity.

I don't understand how I feel, because I feel sad, and angry. They are normal emotions, ones that I have always felt, just usually in a less aggressive and persistent way.

But I feel so... lost, isolated. I feel alone and that is something I am not familiar with, not at all. Usually, I would talk to Alexia about my anger and sadness, but this has been going on for so long, slowly chipping away at my self-confidence, at my happiness. Now all I can feel is the loss of someone. Someone so important.

I may be dramatic, but how else would I describe it? She decided she was too busy and threw me away, a piece of rubbish. How am I supposed to cope with the fact that it's all I am to Alexia?

We used to be so strong as a family, we were always there for each other, nobody left behind. But I can't help but feel like I have been, just a bit.

Mami and Alba love me, Mami and Alba are proud of me. But Mami gets home after I go to bed and Alba has her own life, her own friends. She doesn't need to be pulled back by her little sister who has lost the ability to deal with her own emotions.

It would not be fair for me to pile my problems with Alexia onto Alba. It would not be fair to make her pick a side.

Alexia could be the person that helps me. We have similar schedules, interests, personalities. She knew me like the back of her hand and I knew her equally as well. But I don't think I have ever felt so disconnected from her.

Mapi snaps me out of my daydreaming when she speaks again.

"It is not healthy to keep everything inside of you, pequena, so we are going to the beach and we are talking. I am going to force it out of you because I miss my bright little best friend."

She reaches over and wipes the tears from my eyes, awkwardly pulling me into a hug.

"Everything is going to be ok. You are going to be ok, Elena Putellas, because you have me."

I nod, leaning back into my chair and using my palms to wipe my eyes as Mapi turns the car on and begins to drive out of the carpark.

"Thank you, Mapi." It is a whisper, but she hears me loud and clear, offering me a watery smile before focusing her attention right back onto the road ahead.

The car is quiet as we drive to the beach, Mapi just humming along to her song.

Mapi has always been a big talker. She always says she finds silences uncomfortable and sometimes even slightly overwhelming, so she talks. She talks and talks at a speed that makes it practically impossible to register what she is saying, and the inability to comprehend her spoken thoughts is only heightened by the way she jumps from topic to topic, her voice only increasing in speed and excitement as she gets more and more carried away.

But she is Mapi, and Mapi always talks, so I got used to it, finding her chattiness endearing, she was fun, always happy.

Which is why it is so meaningful when she isn't speaking, like she knows that her words are fruitless and likely not particularly tasteful - they won't be received well.

She is silent as we walk down to the beach and as she lays her rug and pillows out, sitting down and motioning for me to sit down next to her.

She is quiet for a few moments, like she is debating within herself on what she should say and when she should say it, captivated by the way he waves crash onto the sand cyclically, the beaming rays of sun showering the crystal water, the first indicators of the imminent sunset.

When she speaks, it is slow and it is quiet. Her words hug me in a way that has been missed for so long, and I immediately soften; she would have noticed my shoulders relaxing underneath her arm.

"I remember when I first met you." Her eyes are closed and a soft smile rests on her face. "It was before I even joined Barcelona, at my third camp with Spain. I had heard about you before, from Alexia, I knew so much about you from how much she would gush about everything you did every time I spoke to her. In person, over text, she was obsessed with you and sometimes I didn't understand why it seemed like all she spoke about was her little 5 year old sister."

She chuckles, but I stay silent, still staring out at the ocean.

"But then I met you and I immediately understood why she wouldn't stop talking about you. You radiated this happiness, like a little sunbeam. Alexia got you from the barricade after a match, it was only my second ever appearance, but Alexia brought you right over to me and introduced us. You grabbed onto my leg and held it, almost yelling about how cool it was that there was another player to meet."

I smile. I have never heard this story before.

"And then the next time, you recognised me and I was so surprised, so happy. But you were also happy, Elena, you always were smiling, laughing. You would hang from your sisters shoulders and whack her on the back, swinging around in her arms and laughing so loudly that we could hear you from the other side of the pitch. You were always like that, every time I saw you. I found myself looking forward to spain camps even more, because I got to see little Elena Putellas with her big smile and cheeky personality. But recently, I think you have lost a bit of your spark because you do not seem as happy. You seem miserable, lena, and I want to help you find that spark again because I promise, it is not gone forever. It has just been buried so deep by all these emotions that are so big and overwhelming and you can't even find who you are anymore."

Her words strike a cord, and I find that my eyes fill with tears once more, but I do everything I do to hold them back as I speak. There is a long moment of silence as we both look out at the waves before I break it with a quiet inhalation.

"I am so scared, Mapi." My voice breaks but I continue anyway. "I don't know who I am anymore and it is so scary. I don't know what happened or where I went but one day I woke up and I was just a miserable shell of the person I was and I don't know what to do."

She is quick to pull me into a hug as the tears start falling because we both know that once I let out the first cry, I will not be able to stop. Her soft hands through my hair and calm words that flow through the small space we occupy will do nothing to calm the turmoil I am feeling on the inside.

Thinking about it only makes it worse, like I am shaking everything up so it rises to the surface instead of letting it lay undisturbed deep inside of me.

But Mapi's words were like stepping into a turbulent plane, shaking uncontrollably, fear falling over me and triggering emotions that I didn't even realise I had inside of me. The dirt hazes up the water until everything is a big whirlwind of confusion. Emotions moving around to quickly to capture them and try to understand them.

The things I want caught up in the whirlwind of unwelcome mess, the whirlwind that I can't seem to get myself out of.

The injured centre back whispers calm words of affirmation into my ear for a while, her hand stroking up and down my back. It keeps me down to earth, does not let me fall into the trap of a million emotions.

"We will find who you are again, Elena. I will always be here to help you. I am right here."

I want to tell her that I want my sisters to be there to help me. I want Alexia to come back and I want Alba to realise that there is something wrong. But neither of them were there like Mapi is. Alba has tried to be there for me, but she doesn't get it because I don't know what to say.

But all I do is cry in her arms. The sobs soften into quiet whimpers as the sun sets, casting a yellow glow over the beach, but we stay there even as the air becomes cooler and the sky becomes darker.

Mapi decides that I will not be going home that night, not trusting me to take proper care of herself and instead taking me back to her apartment again.

Ingrid is there this time, and she looks at her girlfriend with concern when we walk in, immediately noticing my red face and puffy eyes.

"Hey, Elena." She smiled at me, but I was preoccupied by the little black cat that had begun to circle my legs.

"We had a chat on the beach and decided that because her Mami isn't home, she would stay here the night again."

I picked up Bagheera, tickling under her chin as I sat down on the sofa, trying to ignore the wary glances that were being sent in my direction by the Spaniard and Norwegian.

"I don't know what to do."

Mapi's words were hushed, and by the way she immediately spoke more quietly when she saw my head whip towards them, it is clear that they were not for my ears.

But as I fiddle with Bagheera's fur, I dissect her words. More than I should and definitely more than she wants me to.

She doesn't know what to do with me. She doesn't know how to help, how to fix what has been broken.

She doesn't know whether she should talk to Alexia because it would break my trust. Because telling Alexia could just make it all so much worse.

I think I have been holding onto hope that she really is that clueless and is trying to do what she thinks is best for me. I try to hope that is the reason this has all happened, and not because she simply has forgotten about me, or because she doesn't want to be responsible for me any more.

But honestly, I think it is a mix of all of that. And I think it has evolved from guilt, not watching my games, wanting to avoid the awkward conversations that could have arisen if she had apologised to me.

I wish she knew that an apology would make all the difference. A sincere one, from her heart.

Unprovoked. Just her, being truly apologetic.

Because as humiliating as it is, I would do anything to be back in her arms. I would do anything to have my older sister back, I wish that she would just do something that would make this all go away, to pick up the pieces of my shattered insides and stitch them back together. Eventually, the stitches would dissolve, I would forget all about them and I would be able to function normally again.

But Alexia is not a surgeon, and she would not be able to do that stitching seamlessly. She would use glue, but even that won't put it all back together so perfectly.

There is no way for her to just put it back together and pretend it never happened, to move on like this was just a blip. Because I am different now, I have grown. She has missed so much of my early teenage years - the years that I have most needed her help.

But I am not even sure that Alexia wants that any more; I don't know if she wants to fix this all up and move on.

The dinner table is quiet as I pick at my meal, Mapi encouraging me to eat more than a few bites, claiming she won't leave until my plate has been cleaned up.

Ingrid doesn't utter a single word, instead her green eyes piercing through my skin. I feel exposed to Ingrid, as if she can read everything, understand everything, just from one simple glance.

It is ridiculous, but she is deep in thought so I don't say anything to her either.

It is only when Mapi opens her mouth again that Ingrid's eyes flick over to her girlfriend.

"Does Alba know you feel like this? Or your Mami?"

It is a simple question, but strikes a chord.

No, neither of them know. Neither of them have even noticed a change.

I shake my head roughly, and Ingrid releases a scoff.

I look up, offended.

"What?"

She turns her head to me, confused, so I continue.

"It is not my fault! It is not easy to talk about these things."

"No, no. Elena, that was not directed at you."

She seems apologetic so I have to believe her. I push my chair back, attempting to leave the room with a clutter, cursing my misty eyes for what feels like the millionth time that day.

But me exit is not as seamless as I would have liked, and Mapi is standing right in front of me when I get up, wrapping her arms around me.

It is supposed to be to trap me, but Mapi's arms will never not be a comfort.

I immediately relax into her grip, sighing softly.

"I am so confused."

~~~~~~

Mapi's hands were running through my hair, my lap on the sofa as the tv played that evening. It had been an hour since dinner and the three of us had moved into the lounge room, the silence being filled by the Spanish show on the screen.

But there was a knock on the door and Ingrid sighed, standing up to open it, knowing that neither Mapi or I would get up.

It was both surprising and unsurprising to see Aitana standing there, her hair messy and over of her face, as if she had just been in bed.

"Is Mapi still awake?"

She didn't bother to greet Ingrid, clearly here for a reason. Why else would she have arrived at almost 11 at night.

I couldn't hear Ingrid's response, but I could hear Mapi speaking to me.

"She's worried about you too, Elena. You-"

I love Aitana, I always have.

"I know she is, she is terrible at hiding it. But she has avoided bringing it up. If she wanted me to talk to her I would try my best to, but she hasn't."

Again, I love Aitana and I know she has my best interests at heart. She knows I need to talk about everything to someone, but she also knows that I don't want to. She doesn't want to push even though I can tell she is worried. She is stressed.

Ingrid and Aitana enter as soon as I finish speaking, the Spaniard almost running to where I am lying, placing her hand on my cheek.

"You have been crying."

It is blunt, a bit surprising. I don't really know what to expect from Aitana, she has always been the light hearted one who never would shy from telling me how great I was, but we have never really spoken about melancholy emotions like these.

I suppose there has never really been a need to in the past, that is what Alexia and Alba were for.

She sits down on the floor in front of my face, her knees up to her chest as she stares at me, intensity in her eyes. It is not unlike the intensity she often displays on the pitch, motivated and passionate.

"I will help you." She is decisive. "We will fix this."

I nod softly and she runs her hand down my cheek.

"You are too young to be feeling like this, little Lena. I am sorry I let it get this far."

I look at her in confusion and she pauses before continuing.

"I knew something was wrong. I went to your games at La Masia."

I can tell Mapi is listening closer now.

"I know she didn't go to any."

Mapi gasps, quite loudly, and Aitana gives her a frustrated look, rolling her eyes softly.

"I should have said something to her. She doesn't realise how important you are, how lucky she is to have you."

I frown at her words.

"Lucky?"

It hasn't something I'd ever considered my sisters to be, having to look after a small child for most of their adolescence. Having to please me for so long.

"I used to dream of having a baby sister like you, she is lucky."

Mapi decides it is her turn to add something to the conversation.

"She loves you, Elena, she always has. Of course she thought she was lucky. She needed someone to help her pick on Alba."

There is suddenly a lump in my throat. I think it is the mention of the before that triggered it. The memories are too hard to handle, I usually avoid them at all costs.

My eyes become wet again, apparently, but Aitana just laughs softly.

"You two were just so mean to her, the poor thing."

Mapi lets out a chuckle from above me as well, and I find my mouth turning upwards into a smile.

"I probably should apologise now, shouldn't I?"

Aitana shakes her head, not able to hold back her laughs and Mapi is the same from where I can not see her.

It is when I finally laughed that I feel Mapi soften beneath me and see Aitana exhale a soft sigh of relief. They thought I wouldn't notice, but I did. I notice everything.

"We will fix this, ok?" Aitana was somewhat serious again, her hand patting my face. "We have a day off tomorrow, I will be here and we can all talk. We can all decide what to do next."

"Why are you two doing all this for me?"

Aitana sighs and Mapi's hands pause in my hair.

The midfielder looks above me, as if encouraging her to reply, but I speak up again before she can.

"Alexia is your captain, your teammate. She is your best friend, Mapi. Why are you doing so much for me when we are not speaking?"

There is another pause. It looks like Aitana is about to hit Mapi on the head, but the Spaniard speaks up before she can.

"Alexia has so many people behind her. Alexia is strong, she is experienced and she is older than you. You are just young, pequena and you are so lonely and lost. We want to help the both of you, but we need to help you first."

She pauses and Aitana finds the time to interject. It is like they have been talking about me.

Come to think of it, they probably have.

"You looked like you were going to burst. We knew that you and Alexia weren't speaking, that both of you were having a hard time because of it. But Elena, you looked destroyed. We couldn't leave you to your own devices any more. And Elena, we are doing this because we love you. So, so much."

"Alexia loves you too. More than us. She just does not do a great job of showing it, that's all."

I sigh softly, falling backwards into Mapi's lap, wondering just what I have done to deserve this.

How luckyI am to have my older sisters friends there looking out for me.

Because my family was falling apart and it was my fault. I couldn't do everything alone.

I choose not to think about what would happen if Mapi and Aitana weren't here like they are.

A tear slips down my face again, but this time it is not so sad. It is full of emotion, a grateful tear. Not quite happy, but not sad either.

"Thank you."

~~~~~~

hope you enjoyed :)

this chapter was more to gauge where elena is at, sorry if it was boring!

#woso #woso fanfics #woso imagine #barca femeni #fcb femení #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas #mapi leon #aitana bonmati

[jehanjoltaires]

Genuinely gonna go insane trying to farm all the synthesis items in kh1.5

#fuckit #kh liveblogging #ive never played more than a few minutes of any of the games #so im playing all of them i can get my hands on and might liveblog abt it in random bouts #feel free to preemptively block that tag if dont care to see that lol

[sincerelyakilljoy]

THE GOLD COIN THAT GLITTERS AND GLINTS

pairing - aventurine x gambler + debtor!fem reader length - 11.4k words warnings - nsfw/18+ content, fem!reader, some fingering (with his gloves on), slight choking, pet names (pretty girl, sweetheart, doll, etc), he's kinda mean, teasing, penetrative sex, guns (barely), gambling, aventurine whines a bit, kinda dom aventurine (?), slight coercion/threats (reader is consenting)

summary - you ran away from the IPC to penacony because of the huge debt you owed and couldnt pay. years later when youre out gambling a familiar figure appears with another offer you cant refuse.

NOTES

honestly i can see him being like this in all honesty, he definitely would be an ass tbh...this is proofread (ty to my frennn) but sorry for any mistakes :p also ive never gambled so writing that was a bit hard, so sorry if it sounds stupid

The smell of cedar and smoke fills your senses as you enter the casino, eyes scanning the floor before shifting to one of the casino’s cashier windows.

You huff as you saunter your way over to the cashier, lugging a briefcase along with you.

A sweet smile spreads along your features as you greet the cashier. “I’d like to exchange my cash.” You hum, setting your briefcase on the counter.

“For how much?” The cashier asks, clicking a few things on his kiosk before looking up at you as he reaches out and grabs the briefcase, flicking open the metal clamps and cracking it open.

“A million.” You say with a smile, watching as his face shifts with emotions you don’t even bother to acknowledge. “Hurry please, ‘m a bit busy.” Gently urging him to hurry.

Your tone is a bit rude but you don’t mean to sound like that, you’re in a rush and the face the cashier made only made you feel anxious and like he was going to take a bit too long.

The cashier only nods and hurries to transfer your money to chips, opening the briefcase to pull out the stacks of cash.

“M’sorry if I was a bit rude,” You apologize, you’re voice a bit awkward as you try to sound a bit nicer. It's not on purpose but..you’re a bit “tone deaf” per se. “I’m just in a bit of a rush.”

The cashier mumbles a “it’s fine”, clearly focused on his job at hand.

You don’t say anything more than that, only leaning forward against the counter as he deals with your money.

After a few minutes he sets a briefcase containing your poker chips on the counter, pushing the briefcase towards you. “Here you go, ma’am..” 

You grab the cool handle of the briefcase, nodding a polite thank you to the cashier before walking away.

You look around the casino, looking at the games being played. Men surrounding tables with women on their arms while smoking fat cigars, some young, some much older. 

You walk around a bit before seeing a poker table with an empty seat. You hum to yourself before walking over, glancing at the people seated. “Can I join?” You ask with a smile. 

The other 6 people look at you, eyeing you pointedly. You can’t tell if they’re being judgemental of some sorts, their looks a bit annoying to you. 

“Of course sweetheart, take a seat.” A man says, his voice drunk sounding and gruff. 

You angle your head to look at him, raising a brow at the nickname he called you but you relent to not say anything more and just slide into the seat that happens to be next to the man.

As you sit the cashier deals the cards smoothly, sliding them in all directions cleanly.

After you’ve been dealt your cards you pick them up fluidly, eyeing the cards in your hands while keeping a straight face, a poker face if you will.

“Place your bet.” The dealer says, looking at the person next to him, waiting for his bet.

“Hundred thou’.” The man says, stacking his chips next to him on his left.

You swallow at the amount, a bit annoyed with how high the bet was already but what can you do? 

You wait for someone to raise it but when nobody does the game starts.

You look down at your cards again, listening as the players place their bets, all of them not raising the previous price at all.

“Raise three hundred thousand.” You hum once it’s your turn, placing more chips on the table. You think to yourself whether or not it’s good to bet so much more this early on but you decide that it doesn’t matter much.

You have more money waiting for you in your account if you really needed it and to be cocky, you’re real fucking lucky.

A few at the table call while two of them fold, placing their cards face down and pushing them to the dealer before abruptly leaving, losing anything they’ve bet so far.

After the two leave the dealer places three cards face up on the table, an Ace of hearts, Seven of spades and a 3 of clovers.

You smile slightly to yourself, already seeing a in so early in the game.

Oh, you’re definitely winning this.

You won big.

Another 1.2 Million to your savings all from one match of poker. Lucky might just be your middle fucking name.

A bit smugly you get up from the poker table, collecting your neat, little chips in your briefcase, watching as the others at the table grumble curses while staring daggers at you.

You couldn’t care less. Feeling smug and cocky, winning one round is really getting to your head. 

You hum a little song to yourself as you walk away, looking around for something else to play. But everything seems to be a little boring tonight, after winning so much money and one shot you didn’t know what you should play next in all honesty.

You walk around the floor, heels softly clacking on the soft, velvet floors as you eye tables for anything that even slightly grabs your attention. 

That’s when you hear loud voices, someone yelling.

“This fuckers-hic- cheating..!” A drunken voice booms and nosily, you can’t help but walk over to see what’s going on.

A drunkard waving his hands at a man as a bouncer tries to grab him and calm him down. 

The man seems calm, looking at the man with almost too natural looking smirk adoring his features. Blonde hair framing his face and a hat that looks like a fedora on, slightly hiding his features with rose tinted glasses on.

“Cheating? Don’t be so mad, maybe you’re just unlucky, hm?” The man says, a bit sassily while he flips a gold coin in his hand.

This seems to only enrage the drunkard who swings at the blonde man who just steps back, causing the drunk idiot to stumble and fall.

“That’s embarrassing, don’t you think?” The blonde says, a smug look on his face as he looks down at the drunk condescendingly.

You watch as the drunk gets dragged out, yelling profanities at the blonde who just shrugs it off.

You swear you’ve seen the blonde somewhere but can’t put a finger on it, so to quench your curiosity you walk over to the table.

As you walk up you look at the table, seeing its roulette you feel confident that you might get even more lucky.

You ask the dealer to join who simply says yes and you move to sit on the stool at the table, directly across from the blonde. 

You attempt to get more glimpses of his face but can’t due to his hat and glasses.

The dealer calls for bets and each person places them, including yourself and the blonde across from you.

“Black, eleven.” He says, it almost seems like he’s bored as he smugly rests his chin on his palm, looking at the board as the dealer spins it.

As it spins you feel a bit nervous, roulette is more of a game of chance than anything, you just have to get lucky again.

And you do, the die landing in the slots you betted on.

You smile as chips get pushed your way, getting a slight thrill.

“Mm, seems like I wasn’t so lucky this round.” The blonde says with what seems to be a feigned sigh as he moves to pull off his hat, setting down next to him.

Then you’re painfully aware of how you recognized him.

IPC..he’s from the fucking IPC.

He smirks at you, cockily and knowingly, and you can’t help but fucking shiver from the way his eyes bore into you, almost saying “Recognize me?” 

You ponder on whether or not you should act like you don’t recognize him, playing a few more times with the risk of him possibly confronting you or just walk out with your winnings with the chance of him following and confronting you.

Both seem to have the same outcome.

So you play innocent, shifting your gaze away from his with a calm face in an attempt to hide your onslaught nervousness.

 You mumble your bet and push your chips forward, glancing at the blonde.

“Raise fifty million.” 

He said your debt, the exact amount of money you owe to the IPC, he’s fucking with you.

You clench your jaw to save face, chewing at the inside of your cheek as you stare down at your chips.

He laughs, the sound snapping you out of whatever daze you’re in.

“I’m kidding, raise it five hundred thousand.” He hums, pushing his chips forward as he eyes you pointedly before saying his color and number.

You swallow at the eye contact, internally screaming at yourself to just leave but you don’t, either way you’d seem suspicious no matter what you did so you decide to stay, matching his bet.

The dealer spins the board and you just feel dizzy watching it, sudden waves of anxiety washing over you as you think about what might happen later.

You haven’t paid your debt in over 5 years, deciding you’d rather disappear and be a fugitive to the IPC than pay the debt you owed. 

You only had them come after you once and that’s when you initially met the blonde.

Aventurine.

He was cynical, cocky and arrogant, wearing a smirk while threatening you.

The IPC had come for you when you still lived in the underground city of Belobog, broke and stupid you decided to take money from them as a loan.

A stupidly large amount of money that you didn’t even know what to do with. 

Initially you didn’t want to ask for much, only a thousand or so but greed got the best of you and you just wanted to get money, so you said the price. Fifty million.

When you got the money you were shocked, the check was so huge you didn’t even think you could cash it in at the bank. You didn’t spend much of the money until you heard more about the IPC, when they started to get exposed for their inhumanity.

“You took how much from the IPC?!” Your boss nearly blew your eardrums out with her shouting and you only looked at her stupidly, like you were caught doing something obscene.

“F..fifty mil- but I’ll pay it back! I’ll just take it slow..y’know..” You mumble, rubbing the back of your neck nervously as you lean back against the bar's counter.

“Girl, I don’t think you know how serious the IPC are about their money…” Her tone is serious, eyes boring into you with worry and fear. “You don’t understand what they’ll do to get every last dollar back, down to the penny.��� 

You roll your eyes, picking up the broom that was leaning on the counter next to you.

“What? They'll take my stuff? Newsflash, I don’t have shit.” You hum ignorantly, slowly starting to sweep the floor.

“Girl, they will take you.” She grabs your wrist, it’s not tight or anything but she squeezes ever so slightly to let you know, she’s not kidding.

“If you don’t pay it back in the time they gave you in your contract, you're screwed. You don’t know what they will do to ya’.” 

You roll your eyes for the upteenth time, completely ignoring her worries even though she seems scared for you.

“Honestly, I’ll pay it back. Don’t worry too much, I’ll be okay.” You sigh softly, placing your hands on your boss’s shoulders, massaging softly in an attempt to soothe her worries.

“It’s not like they’ll threaten to kill me or anything.”

Those words rang through your head a year later, after missing nearly every payment required of you. It was only a matter of time they came for you. 

You pant heavily, watching as IPC troops stormed into your dingy, little apartment that you made home. Breaking picture frames, plates and anything else that got in their way. 

You’re backed up into a corner of your kitchen, two IPC troops pointing guns at you as they seem to wait for someone else to come deal with you. 

“W-what are y-” you’re interrupted by a gun shoving you in your stomach, pushing you back into the kitchen counter.

“Shut your mouth!” The trooper shouted, keeping his gun pressed to your abdomen, twisting it into your skin, making you cry out. 

You stand there, shaking as you watch them tear you home apart. 

In that moment all you can do is regret, regret taking the money while deep down knowing you weren’t going to even be able to pay the monthly payments, especially with the insane interest that was added to your debt.

With shuddering breaths you watch as someone else enters your apartment, seemingly dressed to the nines, you ponder on whether or not you could even afford a single piece of string used for his clothes.

He walks in, rudely stepping on the photos that were left scattered on the floor. He looks around, humming at the sigh of your home in shambles before turning to you.

“My, my…couldn’t have expected this..could you?” His voice is sickeningly condescending while keeping up his feigned friendly tone as he walks towards you, pulling off his rose tinted glasses that he simply tucks into a pocket.

You clench your jaw as he walks towards you, getting so close you’re practically huffing the expensive cologne he wears. 

The IPC troops step out of the kitchen, leaving you and the blonde alone.

“Hm, this place looks awfully…” He starts, turning his head to look at the state of your home. “Lived in, hm?” He looks at you, tilting his head to the side as he wears a disgusting smirk.

You don’t reply, only staring up at him in hatred and fear, knuckles turning white from how hard you’re gripping the counter behind you.

“Can’t speak? That’s fine,” He shrugs, his eyes never leaving your face as he steps back a bit, giving you a bit of room in the small kitchen.

“You’re at least a bit aware of who I am, yes?” He asks, folding his arms as he looks at you.

You shake your head slowly. “I only know the IPC in general…nothing more.” You respond, your voice a bit shaky as you try to hold yourself together.

“Well, you do know what debt collectors are in general, right?” He hums, looking at you as he waits for you to answer. 

And when you don’t, he’s stepping forward once again. You raise a brow as you watch him step forward before a sharp yelp is pulled from your lips as his gloved hand comes out to roughly grab your jaw, yanking your face so close to him his nose brushes against your cheek.

“Right?” He sneers into your ear his tone losing its feigned friendliness, only a tone of disgust and malice lacing his voice. He tightens his grip on your jaw and it feels like he might be able to just pull it off.

You wince at the feeling, feeling your eyes water from the pain alone. So you squeak out a “yes” and thankfully he lets go but doesn’t step back.

“I’d advise you to use your words,” He sighs, sounding all too relaxed but it makes sense cause he’s not the one in the situation at hand. “I can be patient but at the moment patience isn’t enough, due to the fact we’ve already have been soo patient and kind to you for the past year.”

You listen in silence, rubbing your sore jaw as you start daggers at him.

“What’s with that look? You’ve more or less brought this upon yourself..” He laughs and it makes you feel sick to your stomach. “Let me explain to you what’s going to happen from today onwards,” He hums, taking out a gold coin before starting to toy with it in his fingers.

“Right now you still owe about forty nine million eight hundred fifty dollars, somehow you managed to pay the one hundred and fifty thousand dollars that you owed one month but for some reason you never paid the monthly payments again.” He looks you up and down, flicking the coin up into the air before catching it in his hand. 

“So, what happened to all the money you took?” He asks, tilting his head to the side slightly as he stares at you, still wearing a smug smile.

“I..I gave it away to people.” You lie, although you did give a lot of it away to friends, family or others in need you put the rest of it up. Why didn’t you just pay the monthly payments with that money? You didn’t even know, assuming that the IPC wouldn’t do anything to you for that money and the fact they probably have trillions of dollars to their name.

What’s a measly fifty million?

Clearly a lot if they’re doing this.

“Gave it away?” He repeats, raising a brow. “Generous aren’t you?” He says, before stepping closer to you once again.

“Let’s make a bet.” He positions the gold coin on his thumb and forefinger in a flicking position. “I’ll flip a coin, if you guess which side it lands on correctly I’ll give you some leeway, seventy five percent less interest and another year and a half to pay it back. How’s that sound?”

You stare at him with uncertainty, swallowing thickly as your hands tighten into fists, nails digging into your palm, leaving deep crescent shapes behind in your skin.

This man just stormed your house and trashed it to hell…how are you supposed to believe a single thing he says. 

“I know, how are you supposed to believe a thing I say?” He says, practically reading your mind and it scares you a bit. “Trust me…you’ll want to take this offer.” 

His tone feels like he’s not lying and the way he’s staring at you feels like burning holes right into you, silently telling you to hurry up and answer.

You exhale a shaky sigh before nodding. “Deal.”

“Hmph, good choice.” He hums before flipping the coin, smoothly catching it with his left hand. “Heads.” His voice is low as he stares you in the eyes, piercing you with his gaze as he clenches the count in his gloved hand.

“Tails.” You mutter, your voice shaky and quiet as you advert your gaze, looking down at his hand to avoid his eyes. Holding your breath in fearful anticipation as you wait for the reveal.

Slowly he opens his hand, the coin flipped on tails.

You let out a shuddering breath of relief as you see the coin, basically collapsing back against the counter as you hold back tears that threaten to roll down your cheeks.

“Awe, relieved are you?” He coos, voice sickeningly sweet and laced with condescendence.

He moves closer to you, invading your space as you back up instinctively, bumping against the counter that traps you. He reaches out and grabs your chin, not as harshly as before but firm enough to force you to look up at him.

“You’re quite lucky and here I was, ready to drag you out of here by the hair.” He laughs cynically, trailing one of his gloved fingers along your jaw. “Next time,” He starts, inhaling through his nose. “I won’t be so lenient. Next time, I’ll make sure you pay off your debt by any means the IPC sees fit, and trust me when I say this,” 

He leans in, breath fanning against your ear. “You’ll fucking wish you were dead.”

Those words ring in your ears, years later, in this moment. You’re screwed, screwed in ways you couldn’t even imagine.

You regret not just paying it back, you should’ve just paid it back. You don’t even know why you got so cocky, developing a gambling habit and deciding to run away, changing your name and doing whatever you can to disappear.

You went to Penacony, thinking it may be a safe haven due to how many people come and go there..but clearly it isn’t, now that you’re stuck in this unwinnable situation.

If you could, you'd drop to your knees and pray, maybe even lick the bastard's shoes while you’re at it. But you’re quickly snapped out of your thoughts when you see chips getting pushed your way.

“Miss? You’ve won again.” The dealer says simply, pushing chips towards you.

You inhale sharply, knowing the amount may well be over the money you’ve already won. You’re feeling real lucky now.

You decide to push your luck. 

So, you put on a pretty smile, collect your chips and fucking book it.

Well not exactly, running in the casino will just make you seem stupid and suspicious so you turn, take your winnings and walk away, walking to a kiosk to cash out. 

Maybe it’s the paranoia but you swear that you can feel Aventurines eyes boring into you, feeling that piercing gaze sting your back, even when you’re away from where that man is. Yeah, you need to hurry the fuck up.

Quickly, you shove your winning into your briefcase before speed walking out of the casino.

You contemplate whether or not you should go back to your hotel room. The IPC could be there, waiting for you to show up. 

Instead of heading straight home, you go and walk around the city, trying to figure out what to do and where to go next. You’ve already done so much to get away, erasing yourself from Belobog completely and they still found you.

At this point it seems like you’ll have to fake your own death just to get away.

You walk around Penacony, taking in the sights as if it’s your first time there. Honestly, you’re just doing this to distract yourself. And you’re thinking and thinking about what you could’ve done differently back then and the answer is so painfully obvious. Never take the money.

If you felt like it, you would kick yourself for being such an idiot.

You walk through Penacony’s shopping district, not looking to buy anything at the moment but it’s nice to just look.

As you’re walking you see three IPC troops in the distance, talking to some woman while showing them a photo. 

You freeze, wondering if they could be asking about you.

I mean, there’s tons of people in debt with the IPC, they wouldn’t do this much for one person…right?

Wrong.

You watch as the woman glances around, the IPC troops filling her gaze before their sights land on you. 

One of them shouts at you and this time, you fucking book it.

Quickly pulling your heels off your feet to carry as you run in the direction of your hotel. You’re sure they’re on your ass, hearing heavy footsteps behind you as you run.

As you’re running you see a tight alley, dark and long. You look over your shoulder and see that they’re far behind but close enough to catch you if you take one wrong move.

Quickly you duck into the alley, hiding behind random clutter that’s in the alley.

You wait a second before hearing the troops stomp past the alley, yelling “where is she?!”.

You sigh a breath of relief, clutching your chest. You can’t believe you managed to lose them, panting and tired you laugh slightly to yourself, wondering how the hell they were so stupid.

You wait about thirty minutes before walking out the alley and running to your hotel, which conveniently was nearby. Although you look silly, running barefoot while carrying your heels and a big ass suitcase, you couldn’t care, hurrying into the building and to your hotel room.

You shove yourself into your room, shutting the door behind you before collapsing back against it, panting and breathing heavily as you slide down onto the floor, ultimately relieved.

Once you’re calmed down and caught your breath you get up to look around your hotel room, making sure nobody’s in there hiding to catch you off guard. You look in the kitchen area, being so paranoid you open the cabinets, searching the inside ‘cause honestly, the assholes could be hiding anywhere.

You check the bathroom next, yanking open the shower curtain and sighing a breath of relief as you see nobody’s there. You walk out the bathroom, sighing as you start to unzip your dress, exhausted and in dire need of a shower. You start to slip out your dress when you hear a voice clear its throat.

You whip your head around and see the blonde bastard, comfortably sitting in the recliner that came with your room. 

You don’t even know how and when he got in but the thought of him being able to come in without you noticing sends a chill up your spine.

“Nice room,” Aventurine hums, looking at you with a disgusting smirk that makes your blood run cold as he flips his gold coin in his fingers. “Now, how can you afford this room, a trip to the beautiful place of Penacony and of course, your gambling habit but cant pay back the debt you owe?” He sneers, a disgusting tone of voice that hides his hostility, a mocking sound of friendliness slipping from his lips.

You can't even respond, you've been caught. You stand in the mini hallway of your hotel room, hands balled into fists as you try to think of something to say but you can't. You're scared, really fucking scared. All you can think is about his threats, is he going to kill you? Enslave you to the IPC as some sort of labor worker until you pay off your debt? 

You're frozen, completely frozen even as he stands and walks towards you, piercing eyes boring into you, feeling like he can burn holes straight through your body with his eyes alone. 

You take a deep, shuddering breath as he gets closer to you, eyes already watering just from his presence. “I’m s..sorry..” You mumble, looking at him a bit pitifully.

“Hm,” Aventurine grabs your balled fists, easily opening your hand, revealing deep crescents dug into your skin from your nails. You flinch with his every movement, breath hitching as he unballs your fists. “You're only sorry you got caught, be honest with your apologies.” He runs his fingers over the marks on your palm, tracing circles over them. “Honestly, it wasn't very hard to find you. Rather simple actually.” He hums, releasing your hands. “It was a bit obvious you'd be here but since you've done so much to get rid of yourself, it took us a while. But you know what happens now, yes?”

You're dead silent, not even knowing what to say in this situation, you can't apologize, you can't bargain and you can't pay. You can only beg.

“i..i'm sorry.. I swear.. please..do..don't..” You start to cry, shaking and staring down at your feet and your hands move to clutch at your dress. “P..please…” You say with a grovely tone, voice shaky as you try to look up at him, eyes bleary with tears making it hard to see him, but you don't even know if you want to see his face.

“Aww, don't cry,” Aventurine coos, voice laced with feigned sweetness as he reaches up to cup your cheek, gloved thumb swiping your tears away. You flinch away from his touch, still crying and sniffling as he looks down at you. His touch is disgustingly tender, softly brushing away your tears as if he cares but when you look at the look on his face it's one of condescendence and power, smirking as if he's getting a kick out of seeing your tears. 

“Do you want help? Ill bargain with you one last time, how does that sound?” His voice disturbs you, making you shudder in fear. “If not, I'll just take you away now.”

It sounds like he wants you to take the deal, his second sentence a clear threat to force you into taking the deal. And like an idiot, you silently nod. 

He smirks even wider at this, both hands moving to cup your face and force you to look up at him, his hold is firm, making sure you wont move your head to look away. “Is that a yes? Use your words, sweetheart.” He disgusts you, you hate him. Your mind screams insults at him, but all you do is play exactly into his hand. “Y..yes..”

You feel horrible, but you dug yourself this grave and you’re painfully aware of that.

He grins widely, hands holding your face firmly. “Spend the night with me.”

You do a double take, flinching and attempting to move away but his hands slide down to your waist, gripping it firmly to keep you still while squeezing hard enough that the feeling has you wincing in pain.

You look at him with a shocked expression, eyes wide with your brows furrowed and curved. You open your mouth as if you were going to say something but can't get anything out a few sputters of jumbled words.

“Huh? Cat got your tongue?” He coos, tilting your face up with his thumb and forefinger, his lips brushing against yours as he speaks. “Take this deal and your debt is gone, zero cents owed to your name..”

You dont reply, eyes shut as you think. You hate this man but you can't deny that he is attractive and you really need the IPC off your ass. Pushing down your pride you respond. “Okay..”

You accepted the deal all too quickly. Selling yourself out without a second thought or consideration of how just accepting this deal would affect you in the future.

After you utter those words his lips are on yours, kissing you in a way that contradicts the way he acts. Your hands tug at the sides of your dress, as you squeeze your eyes shut, unsure of what to do.

His gloved hand slides up to cup the side of your neck as he breaks the kiss, looking at you with low eyes. “First kiss, hm?” He murmurs, his thumb swiping against your bottom lip.

“You wish.” You mutter, looking away from him. You can’t help though as your breath hitches, feeling his thumb against your bottom lip.

“Ah, feisty aren’t you? Yet here you are, at my mercy.” He grins, sliding his hand to grab the back of your neck, tugging you closer so you’re pressed flush against him. You gasp at the movement, your own hand coming up to grab at his forearm, gripping onto the expensive fabric. 

“Quite pretty too…it’s too bad you make such stupid decisions..” He murmurs before capturing your lips once again, his free hand grabbing your hip gently and pulling you closer against him while his other hand stays on the back of your neck, massaging the skin with his thumb.

You slowly feel your resolve crumble, the line between circumstances and your own free will starting to blur as you lean more into the kiss, your hands sliding up to grab onto his shoulders, squeezing them slightly.

You feel his hand trailing down your spine to your lower back, splaying his hand out and gently pushing you forward so you press against him more firmly.

You sigh shakily against his lips, letting your body press more against his as you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer.

He groans softly, his tongue teasing the seam of your lips before gently slipping into your mouth, tongue sliding against yours while his hands slip to your hips, grabbing them and pulling your hips against his, his leg gently nudging between yours.

You gasp into the kiss when he pulls your hips against his, your fingers starting to tangle in his blonde hair as you kiss him with more urgency, pressing your chest flush against his as you tilt your head opposite to his, further deepening the kiss as you whine softly.

He nips at your lower lip with his teeth, leaving a stinging pain behind before soothing it with his tongue, making you gasp shakily in response. “You're so needy,” He muses, starting to trail wet kisses and love-bites along your jawline and down your neck while his hands squeeze your hips firmer. 

He bunches the part of your dress that's by your hips in his hands, letting it ride up your legs before he nudges his thigh up between them, pressing against your most sensitive spot. You leg out a shuddering moan before moving your hand to cover your mouth. 

He pulls away to look at you, his once brutal gaze turned to one clouded with lust. “Don't cover your mouth sweetheart,” He coos, his voice lower and throaty but still holding that same condescending tone as he leans in and you can swear you hear the smirk in his voice when he whispers in your ear. “I want to hear those pitiful, little moans you make.”

Right after saying that, his grip tightens on your hips as he starts to move you, guiding you to grind against his thigh while he sucks and nips at your neck; leaving dark spots behind that feel hot on your skin. You let out a broken moan in response, your arms wrapping around his neck tighter while you bury your face into his shoulder. Fingers digging into his clothed upper back while you gasp and whimper, starting to move your hips along with his guidance.

At this point you can feel how embarrassingly wet you are, the insides of your thighs slick and your panties aren’t faring any better, practically drenched at this point.

You hear him let out a breathy laugh as you start to move your hips on your own. He runs his tongue along your neck to your earlobe before nipping it. “Fuck youre soaked..i can feel it through my pants..” He murmurs into your ear as he starts to move your hips faster against his thigh. “These were expensive too..are you going to pay for the cleaning or am i gonna have to add this to your debt..?” He smirks, running his tongue along the shell of your ear.

You whine in response, knowing that any words that might come out your mouth will just sound like gibberish. 

You start to ride his thigh faster, trying to get to the edge as soon as possible. He groans in your ear softly as he feels you move faster, his hands tightening around your hips with a bruising grip as he laves his tongue along the sensitive skin of your neck. 

Your thighs start to twitch as you feel yourself getting closer to the edge, the pressure in your lower stomach building quickly as your moans and movements get needier. Aventurine starts to trail kisses down your neck to your collarbone, his left hand leaving your hip to reach up and tug the straps of your dress off your shoulders, causing your dress to slack and fall.

He tugs the top of your dress down, freeing your breasts from the confines of your clothes, causing you to shudder as you feel the cold air of the room hit your breasts. He smirks and raises a brow, looking at you with blown pupils when he sees that you're not wearing a bra, his left hand sliding down your shoulder to cup one of your breasts, his gloved hand squeezing and massaging while he leans down, dragging his tongue along your breast before nipping the swell of it, making you gasp.

“So fucking pretty…” He groans before capturing your nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the hardening bud before sucking harshly. He presses his thigh against you more firmly, drawing out a moan he finds oh-so pretty.

You rut your hips against his thigh faster, feeling like the building pressure in your abdomen is going to burst at any second. 

A whimper bubbles in your throat as you feel his lips latch onto your breast while his hand fondles your breast, making you shiver and whine as you flutter your eyes shut and toss your head back slightly. One of your hands slides up to tangle in his hair, tugging at the blonde strands as you push his face further into your chest. 

He groans against your nipple as he feels you tugging his hair, taking it as a sign of encouragement. He nips at your sensitive bud with his teeth, drawing a sharp gasp from your lips. He soothes the sting as he flattens his tongue, dragging it along your nipple, looking up at you with low lidded eyes. 

Your breathing grows ragged as you get closer to your release, hips bucking against his thigh needily while lewd gasps and moans fall from your lips, Your fingers tighten in his hair as you mumble breathlessly, eyes watering as you crack them open. “I…ah…m’gonna…” You sob, words nearly incoherent as you feel the pressure in your stomach ready to burst.

“Hm? What’d you say? Use your words, sweetheart…” He coos teasingly, sliding his hand down from your breast to the spot between your legs, just barely touching your clit through your panties.His middle and ring fingers slowly starting to circle it, as his eyes flick up to your face with a wicked smirk gracing his lips.

You can’t muster out a thing as he starts to barely circle your clit through your panties while his thigh stays pressed against your cunt. You let out a pitiful sob as you buck your hips, grinding against his thigh as you desperately chase your orgasm.

“Hah…m…m’gonna cum...” You whimper, gasping and sobbing as you get ever so closer to your impending high. 

“Ah...you're gonna cum, huh? Come on, pretty, cum on my thigh...” Aventurine hums, leaning up to press his lips to your throat as he starts to circle your clit faster, quickly bringing you to the edge.

You let out a broken moan as you feel your orgasm crashing over you like a wave. Your hips squirming as your thighs twitch and shake slightly. Your fingers tug at his hair roughly as you try to ground yourself as you grow dizzy and your body feels warm and fuzzy.

Your arousal leaks out of you, drenching anything in its path. Your thighs grow sticky and Aventurine’s pants are getting drenched as you cum, shuddering gasps and whines falling from your lips.

 Aventurine smirks as he looks up at you, seeing the blissed out expression on your face as you reach your high makes him grow even harder in his slacks. Straining against the zipper of his pants. His fingers continue to circle your sensitive nub, cooing sweet praises in your ear and peppering kisses your warm cheeks as he works you through your orgasm.

“Mh...you’re so messy...” He murmurs into your ear, his voice low and hushed as he speaks. “Just look at what you’ve done, beautiful...” He pulls back, free hand coming up you clasp around your jaw as he tilts your head down, making you look at the sticky mess you’ve made.

His thigh is soaked. His white pant-leg sticks to the top of his thigh, wet with your arousal. You whine when you feel him pull his fingers away from your fabric covered cunt.

He hums softly as he spreads his fingers apart, sticky webs of your cum spreading between his gloved fingers that shine with your slick and you can’t help but gasp at the sight. 

“I didn’t know you’d make such a mess, now my pants are ruined…” he chortles, his hand that’s gripping your jaw squeezes your cheeks together, causing your lips to puff out to a cute pout as you whine.

“How are you going to pay me back, sweetheart? Hm?” He tilts your face up to his, his gaze intense as he stares you in the eyes, wearing a smug grin. 

“I dont…I don’t know...” You babble, your eyes a reflection of your neediness and lust as you look up at him. Your breathing still ragged and hindered.

“Mhm…I have an idea,” Aventuring sneers, looking down at you with a condescending smirk. “How about you clean it up, sweetheart…?” 

He brings his slick coated fingers up to your lips while his other hand that was once gripping your jaw moves to grasp your chin, holding it between his thumb and forefinger. 

He drags his gloved digits across your lips, smearing your arousal on them. “Open up.” He coos, gently pushing his fingers between your lips and into your mouth.

You part your lips more, letting him push his fingers further into your mouth. You whine as you taste yourself off his fingers, feeling dirty for doing this but you can’t help but enjoy it, fluttering your eyes shut as you willingly take his fingers into your mouth.

His smirk grows wider as he watches you take his fingers into your mouth. He pushes his fingers deeper into your mouth, causing you to gag slightly. “Suck them, pretty girl…” He breathes, pressing his fingers down against the flat of your tongue. 

You close your lips around his fingers, starting to suck them slowly. You swirl your tongue around his fingers, moaning softly at the taste of your arousal in your tongue.

“Uh huh, just like that…” He coos, his hand that was holding your chin sliding to the back of your neck, cupping it as he pulls back to look at you. “Such a good girl…” 

He slowly pulls his fingers from your mouth, a string of saliva connecting your lips to his gloved digits as he smirks down at you.

He snickers, looking at your flushed face. “God, you’re just a mess, aren’t you?” His hand that’s on the back of your neck tugs you towards him, his lips brushing against yours as he tilts his head, looking at you with lidded eyes.

“I’ll fix that…” He murmurs before pressing his lips to yours. His lips are soft and pillowy as they move against yours, his tongue sweeping into your mouth as his gloved hand slides down to your hips, grasping tightly while his thumbs trace small circles against them.

You sigh shakily as he kisses you, arms sliding up to wrap around his neck as you tug him closer, whimpering into his mouth as he tightens his grip on your hips, dressing bunching up in his hands as he firmly pressing his hips to yours.

He starts to walk you backwards to your bed, keeping your body close while never breaking the kiss. You feel the back of your legs hit the bed before he’s pushing you back onto the bed. He climbs on top of you, straddling you as he keeps up his feverish kisses.

You wrap your legs around his hips, locking your ankles together behind his lower back, whining into his mouth and letting your tongue slide with his as you kiss him needily.

Aventurine breaks the kiss, moaning softly as he starts grinding his hips against yours, rubbing against you so perfectly you whimper and arch your back against his body. 

He buries his face into the crook of your neck, lips latched to the soft skin as he sucks a dark spot to the skin of your neck. 

His hand slides up and under you, lifting you slightly as his hand finds the zipper of your dress, his other hand moving to the middle of your back, lifting you up more to make it easier as he unzips your dress.

He unzips your dress, slowly sliding the zippier down, causing your dress to slack. “May I..?” He whispers against your neck, eyes peering up at you.

You nod sheepishly, looking away to avoid his blazing gaze. He grins, hands sliding down to the hem of his dress, pulling it down and off your body, discarding the fabric somewhere on the floor.

He sits up to look at you, taking in the sight of your half-naked body, your panties the only thing left on. 

He lets out a shaky breath, gloved hands sliding up your lower stomach. One of his hands slides to your waist, squeezing the soft skin there while the other moves up to cup your breast, caressing the soft flesh there.

“So fucking gorgeous…can’t take my eyes off you..” His voice sounds shaky and breathy, his hips shifting to press against you harder, letting you feel how turned on he is.

You gasp at the feeling of his gloved hands all over your body, caressing and groping you as you lie beneath him, biting your bottom lip to quiet whatever pitiful moans that threaten to fall from your lips.

He starts to grind himself against you, the bulge in his pants pressing against your sensitive clit covered by your drenched panties. 

He moans, sounding pretty and whiny as he leans in to bury his face in your neck, his hand starting to roll your nipple between his thumb and forefinger all while he ruts his hips against you, desperate to feel you.

“You feel so good… ” He mumbles, his tongue licking at previous marks he’s left on your neck. You moan desperately, hands clutching at the fabric of his jacket, pulling and tugging. 

You need him so badly, body trembling with each roll of his hips, you only feel more desperate and needy. You whine as you feel his tongue lavish your neck, your legs wrapping around him tightly.

“Ah…I need you…so bad…” Words a breathy whisper as you grow more needy for him. You start to move your hips in tandem with his, whining shakily.

He pulls away from your neck, nuzzling his cheek against yours as he whispers. “Tell me what you want…I’ll give it to you…” His words a shaky rasp as his hands squeeze your breasts, thumbs rolling over your nipples.

You can barely get the words out, everything coming from your lips a breathless mumble. “I need you inside me…please…”

Hearing your words something in him snaps, turning off any critical thinking that’s wired in his brain. “I’ll give you it. I’ll give you everything you want…”

His hands slide down your body to the waistband of your panties, teasingly slipping his fingers under the hem before slowly dragging your panties down your legs while starting to trail kisses down your neck to your collarbone, nipping at the skin there.

You let out shuddering breaths as he teases you, purposely dragging on the removal of your panties. You moan and whimper as he trails kisses along the heated skin of your neck down to your collarbone, a shaky gasp escaping your lips as you feel his teeth nipping at the exposed skin there.

You let out a sigh of needy relief as he finally pulls your panties off, tossing them to the floor, presumably by your dress.

He pulls away from you once again, eyeing you more hungrily than before as he looks at your naked body, taking in the sight, trying to further memorize every curve of your body. 

He starts to pull off his jacket, tossing it onto the recliner he was sitting on earlier. You’d roll your eyes at how he’s taking more care with his clothes than yours, but clearly, it’s the last thing on your mind right now.

He gazes down at you, eyes catching sight of your glistening folds. He reaches out, dragging a gloved digit along your slit teasingly. “You’re so wet, it’s cute.” He smirks, his words coming out breathily. The smoothness of his voice is gone, replaced with a tone of need and lust.

“You want me here? Wanna feel me inside you…? Tell me.” He sighs, tilting his head slightly as he pushes two of his fingers inside of you, hazed eyes watching how your cunt swallows his fingers up so easily.

You gasp and buck your hips as you feel his fingers slide inside you, your walls clamping down on his digits as he starts to slowly thrust them inside you, his thumb moving to circle your clit.

You whine and shake your head, looking up at him with needy eyes clouded with lust. “I don’t…want your fingers…” You mumble between shaky gasps. “I want…I need you.”

Aventurine can’t help but wear a smirk on his lips, just the sight of you so needy, practically begging beneath him has him reeling and the thing is, you don’t even know how badly he needs you. 

“Okay, gorgeous...” He murmurs, slowly pulling his fingers out of you, leaving with an empty feeling in your lower stomach that’ll soon be satiated. “I’ll give you just what you want.” 

Aventurine pulls away, letting out a shuddering breath as his hands slide down, deftly unbuckling his belt, the clinking of the metal ringing in your ears as you watch him.

After getting his belt unbuckled he quickly unzips his pants, tugging them down just enough to let him pull himself from the confines of his clothing.

He lets out a shaky sigh as he frees himself, and in that moment you realize how desperate he really is for you.

You can’t help but shamelessly stare at his length, it’s lengthy and pretty with it’s tip flushed pink; practically oozing precum as it twitches. It’s a sight for sore eyes.

Aventurine hisses as he strokes himself, his thumb running over his tip, collecting the precum to smear on his shaft. 

He glances up at you, raising a brow when he sees how you’re eyeing him. “Like what you see…?” He grins, leaning in and pressing his lips to yours in a kiss that barely lasts a second before he’s pulling away again, gazing down at you.

“I do…” You sigh, hand reaching out to gently wrap around his length. You slowly start to slide your hand up and down his shaft.

Aventurine gasps softly, his face nuzzling into your neck as you stroke him slowly. “God…you’re killing me…” He mumbles, his hands sliding up to your hips, wrapping around them. “Let me feel you…” He kisses you again, this time it’s needy and a bit sloppy, devoid of any sense of restraint.

You moan softly into the kiss, hand gliding along his cock. He whines into your mouth, his hands squeezing your hips even tighter as his hips buck into your hand in time with your strokes.

After a minute he breaks the kiss, panting as he leans in to rest his forehead against yours. One of his hands moves to where your hand is, gently pushing your hand away. “I don’t need any of that...” He says simply, his voice low and quiet.

“…You sure?” You whisper, hands sliding up his chest, feeling the soft fabric of his expensive clothes under your fingertips. “I want to.” 

You want to touch him, even though you hate him? Do you even hate him anymore? Has your opinion on him really changed so much just from this moment? He used to scare you but now you’re yearning for him… Have you really lost your common sense?

You bury these thoughts in the back of your head, saving them for yourself later when you finally have to face the reality of your actions right now.

He shakes his head, pressing a wet kiss to the side of your neck before nipping your skin. “I don’t need you to touch me, beautiful.”

He sits up, his face flushed and hair a mess. His gloved hands slide up your legs and to your thighs as he hums, gazing down at you with intense eyes. His hands travel to your inner thighs, gently pushing them open as he shifts to position himself between your legs. 

Aventurine drags a gloved finger up your slit teasingly, making you whine and shift your hips. “Stop teasing already…” You mumble, brows furrowed as you look up with a slight pout on your face. 

He laughs softly as your expression, a smug look playing on his face. “Don’t worry sweetheart, just wanted a taste…” He murmurs before bringing his finger to his lips, licking your arousal off the digit as he gazes down at you, his eyes never leaving yours.

Your breath hitches as you watch him do this, feeling yourself get impossibly more wet than before. You feel your cheeks heat up with slight embarrassment. “Don’t look at me while you do that…” You mutter, slightly turning your head to look away from him.

“Don’t be so shy,” He smirks, suddenly regaining the steadiness in his voice, not sounding as shaky and whiny as before. “You taste sweet.” He murmurs, as he grabs your legs, moving them to wrap around his waist. “I’ll taste you more next time…” 

You furrow your brows, looking up at him with crooked eyebrows. “There won’t be a next time.” 

Aventurine looks at you, a smug smile on his face. “We’ll see.” 

You don’t bother to respond with any other smart-ass comment or a remark, choosing to focus on what’s happening in the moment.

He leans in more, one of his hands grabbing your thigh while the other wraps around his length. He rubs his tip along your drenched folds, making you whimper and whine, hips squirming against his hold.

His hand tightens its grip on your hip, silently urging you to hold still. He rolls his hips forwards, grinding his cock against your slick cunt, teasingly rubbing his swollen tip against your clit as he looks at you with a smirk. 

You moan softly, eyes fluttering shut as you feel his length sliding against you, pressing against your clit instead of where you need him right now. “...Just...fucking…” You mumble, cracking your eyes open to look up at him, seeing him stare down at you with lust.

“Just what? I’m not a mind reader, doll.” He hums, shifting his hips slightly so that his tips pressing against your entrance. “Let me guess...You want me here, yeah? Want me inside you…?” He coos, leaning down to press a kiss to your jawline. “Tell me, pretty…you don’t wanna keep waiting, do you?”

 You whine and shake your head, whimpering as you feel his tip pressing against your entrance. “P..please…put it in…” You gasp, eyes low and lidded as you look up at him, a needy look on your face.

“There you go… Wasn’t hard to use your words, now was it..?” He murmurs, nipping at your earlobe as he presses his hips forward, slowly pressing his cock inside you. 

You gasp as you feel him pressing into you, slowly stretching you wider. Your arms move to wrap around his neck, burying your face into his shoulder.

He slides in inch by inch, groaning softly as he feels the warmth of your walls hug his cock tightly, squeezing and pulsing around him needily.

You clutch onto him tightly while panting, feeling the sting of the stretch when he finally bottoms out, his cock buried deep inside you, top of his cock nudging against your cervix. 

He holds still for a moment, pressing kisses to your shoulder as he waits for you to get used to his size. “You’re so tight…it’s must’ve been awhile, hm?” He murmurs into your ear, you swear you can hear the smirk in his voice as he whispers to you. “How’s long it’s been, sweetheart…?”

He starts to roll his hips forward, slowly thrusting into you with long strokes. “Do you not wanna tell me, pretty girl…?” He hums, running his tongue up, along your neck before nipping at the skin of your jawline. 

You whine as he starts to thrust into you, soft moans falling from your lips as you flutter your eyes shut. “I..I don’t know…” You mutter, voice shaky as you speak. “It’s been too long…few years…”

You don’t want to admit it but it’s been well over a few weeks or months. Not having sex since you still lived in Belobog…

He grins at this, feeling smug at the thought of him being first in a long time, and he can tell just by how you’re acting, moaning with each slow drag of his hips, clutching onto him tightly and squeezing around his length like a vice, when he’s barely fucked you yet… It’s now feeling very obvious to him you haven’t felt like this in awhile.

He hums softly, his gloved hands sliding to your hips, grasping them tightly. “Then I guess I’ll have to screw you real good, huh?” 

He starts to speed up his movements, pulling your hips along with his, rolling his hips into you at a pace that’s just perfect.

You whimper, hands grasping at the back of his shirt as you feel him thrust into you deeper and harder, soft smacks filling the room from your hips slapping against his.

He groans against your neck, one of his hands sliding up to wrap around your throat, squeezing slightly as he grinds into you. “You feel so good...” He mumbles, teeth nipping at your shoulder while you moan and gasp.

You whine as you feel his gloved hand wrap around your throat, squeezing hard enough to make your face feel warm but gently enough you can still breathe.

Your legs wrap around his hips, locking at the ankle as you pull him closer to you, desperate to feel him deeper inside you.

Aventurine moans shakily as he feels your legs wrap around him tightly, urging him closer. He starts to speed his pace up more, fighting the urge to slam into you with all of his strength.

His hand on your hip pulls you in tandem with his thrusts, hips meeting his halfway as he thrusts into you, feeling your walls twitch around his length. 

Lewd noises escape your lips as you feel him pull you along with his movements. You feel him shift his hips before starting to slam into you harder.

You let out a loud gasp, feeling his tips slamming against your g-spot. You tighten your arms and legs around him, practically holding onto him for dear life as he smirks down at you.

“Right there, huh?” He sneers, starting to pound into your harder, slamming against your sweet spot over and over as you squirm and sob, gasping for air as you feel his hand tighten around your throat. 

He pulls away to look at you more directly, smirking down at you as his lust filled eyes stare down at you. “You’re so pretty like this…” He sighs, his hand sliding from your throat to squeeze your breast, groping it roughly as he continues to pound into you, cockhead slamming against your cervix as you sputter and gasp beneath him.

You feel the knot in your lower abdomen start to tighten and twist, signaling you to your impending orgasm.

You look up at him with teary eyes and a blissed out expression, your hands moving to clutch at the bedsheets as you sob and whimper. The feeling of him slamming against your cervix while his hand squeezes your breast before his thumb rolls over your nipple, making your eyes flutter shut and your walls squeeze him tighter.

He drags his hand down from your breast to your waist, squeezing the plush skin as he uses it as leverage to thrust into you even harder, loud, wet smacking sounds filling your ears as you moan louder, pushing your head back into the mattress, arching your lower back as you feel the cord in your abdomen about to snap.

Aventurine suddenly slows down his movements, smirking down at you as he watches your face shift to a needy pout, eyes squeezing shut as you sob from the burning feeling of your orgasm being halted so abruptly.

“Not yet, pretty girl…” He murmurs, sitting up to pull off his shirt, revealing his fit torso, albeit a bit skinny he has the build of a swimmer, which you find attractive. He tosses the shirt next to his jacket before returning his attention to you.

He hums as he slides his gloved hands down to your thighs, squeezing them before moving to cup under your knees, pushing them up so their level with your shoulders. 

Aventurine slowly starts to build up the pace again, leaning it to press his forehead to yours, letting your ankles dangle over his shoulders. 

This position feels like he’s somehow even deeper inside you. His fat tip grazing your g-spot with each thrust. You moan and gasp louder, head feeling light and hazy as he pounds into you, wet slaps emanating throughout the room with each thrust.

He leans in to capture your lips in a bruising kiss, his tongue running over your lips before his tongue sweeps into your mouth, sliding with yours as he groans against your lips…

His hands move to nudge your legs off his shoulders , letting them wrap around his hips once again. “You…feel…amazing…” He mumbles between kisses, his eyes fluttering shut as his hands slide under you, up your back and to your shoulders, his hands gently grabbing them as he pulls you close against his chest.

You moan into his mouth, his lips on yours as he swallows your sounds. You move one of your arms to wrap around his neck, holding him close while the other one slides under his arm to his upper back, hands slightly scratching at the skin there.

He continues to slam into you with reckless abandon, ditching whatever self control he may have had to fuck you how he-so desperately-is doing.

He groans as his hips pound against yours, wet slaps and lewd moans coming from the both of your lips as you both feel your orgasms building.

You let out pretty sobs against his lips, nails digging into his upper back, leaving crescent marks and scratches on the fair skin as your hips buck along with his hard thrusts, desperately chasing your orgasm.

Aventurine isn’t faring any better, whining and groaning into your mouth as he slams into you harder and faster, feeling your walls pulse around his twitching cock, basically signaling him of your nearing orgasm. 

He breaks the kiss, burying his face into your neck as he moans softly, one of his hands sliding up to grasp the back of your neck while the other squeezes your shoulder tighter. 

“m’...close...” You sob, clutching onto him as tightly as possible as you feel your eyes water from pleasure, head hazy and body fuzzy. 

“Yeah? Me too, sweetheart…” He rasps, his hand slipping from your under shoulder to slide between your sweat slicken bodies, gloved hand finding your clit, his thumb rubbing harsh, little circles against it. “Go ahead, cum on my cock, gorgeous...”

His pace speeds up even further, slamming against your sweet spot over and over as he works to push you over the edge, his lips pressing against your neck.

You let out a loud, whiny sob as you feel the cord in your stomach snap, orgasm washing over you.

Your head feels lightheaded as pleasure clouds your senses, hips bucking and walls spasming around his cock while your juices spill out of you, covering his shaft and your inner thighs. Your body twitching against his as pitiful whines and gasps fall from your lips.

He falls over the edge immediately after you, his cock twitching inside you before he abruptly pulls out, spilling his seed all over your lower stomach as he groans against your neck, his hand squeezing the back of your neck as his hips buck against you, rutting his twitching cock against your lower stomach.

You hold onto him tightly as you both come down from your orgasms, staying in each-others arms. Panting and shuddering breaths are the only things you can hear.

After a few minutes, Aventurine sits up, gazing down at you as he looks at the mess you’ve both made, a small grin appearing on his pretty face. “Guess we’re both messy, huh..?” He murmurs, sliding his hands down your side to your hips. 

You don’t respond to him directly, mumbling some random insult as you lift your arms to cover your face.

He can’t help but stare, looking down at your flushed cheeks and hazy eyes, chest rising and falling with each shaky breath, looking completely fucked out.

He hums softly, pulling away from you. “Where you going...?” You mumble, watching him stand up and start to pull his pants up from the corner of your eyes.

“To grab something…” He replied, glancing at you from over his shoulder as he buckles belt before walking to your bathroom. 

You sit in a bit of a daze, staring up at the ceiling, wondering how things are gonna play out now the IPC now that you’ve fucked one their higher ups. What excuse is Aventurine gonna make for your debt? Is he even going to actually get rid of it for you?

God, you’re an idiot.

You’re about to smack yourself in the forehead when Aventurine comes back into the room with a wet towel.

“Erm….what’s...that for?” You ask tiredly, rubbing the back of your neck with your palm as you glance away from him.

“You’re stomach, sweetheart.” He hums, nodding down at your stomach, covered with his seed. 

“Oh...nice…” You mumble, watching as he sits across from you on the bed, leaning in as he starts to wipe the sticky mess from your stomach.

It’s quiet between the two of you, it’s awkward but not unbearable. “Thank you..” You say softly, as he finishes wiping the seed from off of you. 

He smiles slightly. “I made the mess..why wouldn’t I clean it up?” He hums, tossing the towel somewhere onto the floor.

You shrug in response before yawning, covering your mouth with your hand. Aventurine looks at you, a small smirk on his lips. “You’re quite pretty, y’know...” He tilts his head slightly as he looks at you, eyebrows raised slightly as he looks at you.

Your cheeks flush slightly as you look away, a bit embarrassed. “Mhm…thank you...” you mumble, scooting closer to him you place your hand over his, thumb rubbing over his gloved knuckles. “Are you staying…?” 

Your question catches him off guard, a surprised look spreading on your face for a second before a grin spreads on his face. “I’ll stay if you want me to, pretty...” He hums, his hands moving to gently grab your waist, pulling you closer. “I want you to...” 

“Okay gorgeous..I’ll stay..”

You don’t know when you fell asleep but you did. His arms wrapped around you while you cuddled up against him.

You didn’t expect him to stay, it was only a one night stand but you didn’t expect…this.

When you woke up you found everything in your hotel room tidy and neat, like he cleaned everything up for you before leaving.

You yawned and rubbed your eyes as you slid out of bed, walking to where your things were arranged neatly.

You bent down, starting to look for the briefcase that held your money. 

You started to grow frantic when you couldn’t find it, not in any drawers, on any counters or with any of your things. 

You stomped around, tearing the room apart until you crouched down to look under the bed, where it was shoved far under to where you can barely reach.

You groan as you drag it out from under the bed, standing it and placing it onto the bed as you flick the clasps and open the briefcase.

Your stomach drops.

Your fucking heart drops.

Your eyes widen and your jaw clenches, all the money that was in there gone, down to the penny.

You feel your face grow hot as you look at what’s been left in the box, a single, small note. Picking up the small paper you grow more angered, face scrunching to a scowl as you read the note’s contents.

Thank you for the night, as promised your debt is erased and the IPC will no longer have you listed as a fugitive but I took your money as a consequence for not initially paying your debt.

Actions have consequences, sweetheart. Be more smart next time.

-- Aventurine..

Fucking bastard. You might just kill him if you see his face again.

ty for reading sweethearts!! and thank you to my lovely friend who gave me suggestions and proofread this big'ol thing :p

#honkai star rail #star rail #aventurine x reader #hsr aventurine #aventurine honkai star rail #star rail aventurine #aventurine hsr #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail smut #honkai star rail x you #aventurine x you #aventurine smut #fanfic #fan fiction #anime

[emeritus-fuckers]

“Player 3 loading...” ♡ Copia x gn!afab!Reader oneshot (fluff)

Dedicated to Kay so she can stop crying after the Terzo one - Jez

You leaned against your boyfriend, your head resting comfortably against his shoulder as he played a game on his old console. You were supposed to play together but due to a certain situation you decided to come earlier than planned.

He offered to change the game as soon as he realized you were there, but you quickly assured him that it's okay and that he should finish the level while you made yourself comfortable by his side.

You took a pillow, hugging it to your stomach as you watched Copia pick an answer to Miss Daisy, which resulted in a game over screen and your sweet beloved man make a sad, confused noise before turning his head to you with a slight pout.

"Oh, you poor thing..." You cooed, kissing his chin to cheer the poor man up. It was completely his fault that he lost, he picked 'Fuck you, miss Daisy', instead of giving her the nicer answer to her asking to drive her somewhere. "The game was so unfair to you, wasn't it?"

He knew you were teasing him, but he'd always soak up any affection you were willing to give him. You accepted him years ago, back when he was just a cardinal, not even considered for becoming a Papa back then. You accepted him for the awkward man he was, making silly noises instead of speaking when he got stressed. And he would get stressed all the time.

He wrapped his arms around you, changing his position so that he was resting against you instead, his face buried in your chest with a small groan. You chuckled softly, stroking his back and kissing the top of his head, taking notice of the few grey hairs hiding between the naturally brown ones. You smiled softly, gently pressing your nose into his head, smelling his shampoo. You loved the way it smelled. Despite being in his 50s, he still used childish shampoos, the ones with cartoon characters that smelled like fruit mixes or bubble gum. You always found it cute.

After a few minutes of coddling, Papa Emeritus IV was once more ready to face the world, which he signalled by giving you one more gentle squeeze and a kiss on the cheek before fixing his posture again, slightly hunching like he did all the time. Another silly but cute thing.

"So, uh..." He made a 'go on' motion with his hand, trying to make his mind click so he can keep going. Once the cogwheels in his brain started turning again, his own eyes widened slightly as he remembered why he invited you to his room in the first place. "What should we play?"

He almost jumped off the small couch you were both sitting on, clapping his hands as he took out a few boxes with games for his console. He brought them over and sat down next to you, excited in his own little way, making noises and and clapping his hands. You adored him stimming, it was something unique about him. He felt so happy that whenever you laughed seeing his behavior, you'd always laugh with him, never at him.

You looked through the CDs with him, humming thoughtfully. It was a little act you put on, a way to reveal the news to him. You kept the pillow pressed to your stomach, hoping he didn't find anything suspicious about it. He didn't, the poor man was a bit oblivious to many things.

"Babe?" You looked up at him, putting the games down on the coffee table again. He turned to you with a small hum. "I was wondering... Do you have any games for three people?"

"For three...?" He questioned, visibly confused. He looked through the games quickly, still not getting your point yet. He muttered something, making awkward noises that you sometimes described as his little loading screen noises. "Uh... No, I don't think so. Why would we need a game for three?"

You took out a small envelope and handed it to him. He stumbled a bit with opening it, which both made you a bit more giddy and anxious at the same time for his reactions. Once he finally opened it, he peaked inside and took out the two objects you put in earlier. A small plastic stick and a picture.

A positive pregnancy test and an ultrasound picture.

It took him a while to realize this as he stared at the objects before slowly putting them down and looking at you, first your face, then your stomach, still covered by the pillow you were now digging your nails into.

"May I...?" He asked quietly. You nodded, visibly anxious, but let him take the pillow away. You were already starting to show, the tiniest baby bump already making him tear up as he put his hand on it. He could feel the tiniest squirms your future baby was making. "How far along are we...?"

"A bit over twenty weeks. I wanted to tell you earlier, but there was so much going on and I never got to. I'm sorry you're finding out about it halfway through." You looked away, only for him to gently hold your chin and give you a short, sweet kiss.

"Sure, I mean, I found out kinda late, but you know, at the end of the day, I'm still their papa, like... That's all that matters."

And that was when pregnancy hormones decided to hit you with all they have, making you cry as you hugged him. He held onto you tightly, gently keeping his hand on your tummy so he could feel your little one trying to get cozy in your womb.

"Hey, so... Does that make your game date night a family game night instead?" He asked suddenly, making you laugh through your tears.

"Only if you want it to."

#ghost band #ghost bc #ghost #ghost band x reader #ghost bc x reader #ghost x reader #papa emeritus iv #copia #cardinal copia #cardinal copia x reader #copia x reader #papa emeritus iv x reader #fluff

[anzynai]

Day 8 - Truth

Azul & Jamil (Twisted Wonderland)

a/n: IM SO SORRY THIS WAS A DAY LATE… i’ve been so busy lately so i’ve had a hard time getting it done. to be honest, i’m still not completely satisfied but if i don’t post it now, i never will. still, i enjoyed being able to add a trope ive always liked (truth serums)

side note: this is platonic, but it does hint at.. underlying feelings. especially on azul’s side. so uh. yeah. besides that, i hope u guys enjoy :)

——

“How did the twins cheer you up when you were upset?” Jamil asked, curiously. It was an innocent question and even Azul didn’t think much of it. But, he was on a truth serum and did not know that very fact would lead to his demise.

Crewel had assigned the class a potion to recreate and present and of course, Azul being Jamil’s unofficial, self-proclaimed lab partner, chose him for the project. When Jamil agreed, though begrudgingly, Crewel had assigned them the truth potion. It was easy enough. Azul had made a few for his deals. Now all there was was testing it. Back and forth, the lab partners asked each other questions, but it slowly and slowly became more personal.

Still, this wasn’t a bad question. Azul could answer. “Ah, they usually would force me to play board games with them, tickle me, have a sleep—“

“Tickle you?” Jamil cut in.

“I—yeah?” Azul replied, slowly and hesitantly. Where was this going?

“You’re ticklish?” Jamil asked, incredulously.

And normally, Azul would have said no. That he wasn’t ticklish, to keep up with his professional persona, but being obliged to answer honestly…

“I am..” He muttered, averting his eyes and feeling his face warming up. He gradually lifted his head up, taking in Jamil’s shocked expression. He wanted to look back down again but he made himself force eye contact.

“Huh.” Was all Jamil said. Azul would be lying if he said it didn’t make him nervous.

“Next question.” Azul hurriedly, trying to come up with a question.

“Oh, no, no no. We’re not doing that. I just found out a weakness of yours. Why don’t we talk about that?” Jamil’s lips were quirked up, smirking. It made Azul’s heart flutter in ways he knew he would not be addressing anytime soon.

“What is there to talk about?” Azul asked. Questions didn’t reveal any truths so he was using it to save himself from revealing that he had just thought about what it would be like if Jamil tickled him… and that he wouldn’t mind it as much as he wished he did.

“Your ticklishness, of course. How ticklish are you?” Jamil asked, walking towards him with a slow, menacing speed.

“Very.” Azul gulped, answering before he could help it. He began to wonder if partnering up with Jamil was really worth it.

“Oh?” Jamil mused, then he pounced, catching Azul off guard. His hands latched onto Azul’s sides, and Azul couldn’t hide his face going beet red. He clamped his lips together, refusing to give in to the urge to laugh. His hands pushed away at Jamil’s but the tickling had already begun weakening him. “You already said you were ticklish. Why are you acting like this now?”

Azul knew the answer. He could not let Jamil see him laughing hysterically, so vulnerable.. whether he knew he was ticklish or not. That was his decision. He didn’t know how long he could stick with that decision.

This time, Jamil went to his stomach, clawing the sensitive skin and Azul hated how quickly it was for him to break.

“N-nohohoOHO. STohohoOP it!” Azul sputtered out, getting more embarrassed by the minute of every giggle spilling from his lips.

“There it is.” A satisfied and amused smile was worn on Jamil’s face and Azul wanted to crawl into an octopus pot right then and there. Jamil’s hands found their way to his hips, letting Azul have a small moment of relief.

“Ehehehee.. J-Jahahahamil!” Azul giggled, gently pushing away the others’ hands, though with significantly less might than before.

“You are very ticklish. I wish I knew this before.” Jamil teased, a certain glint in his eye that told Azul that he was never going to let him live this down.

“Thahahats enohohohough!” Azul shouted, though he was nowhere near his limit. Jamil could tell too, but he relented anyway.

“You’re lucky we are short on time.” Jamil said, taking a glance at the clock. It’s true. They had met during their lunch period and it was ending in about three minutes. Azul breathed, feeling at a bit of a loss. On one hand, he was glad that Jamil had stopped tickling him, embarrassed that Jamil saw that side of him, but on the other hand…

He shook his head. “You’re right.” He cleared his throat. “And you?”

“Me?” Jamil seemed nervous.

“Are you ticklish?” Azul asked, a smug smile on his face. He did not want Jamil having the last laugh. He could’ve sworn a bead of sweat ran down Jamil’s face and he relished at how the satisfied expression was quickly replaced by a blushing face.

“Yeah..”

“Well, I’ll keep it in mind.” And so he will. When the bell rang, he watched Jamil try to walk away, casually but it seemed shaky. He just smiled. Next time.

#tickling #augtickletober2023 #tickletober #tickletober 2023 #tickle fic #jai’s fic #jai’s drabble #azul ashengrotto #jamil viper #ashenviper #azujami #jamiazu #lee!azul #ticklish!azul #ler!jamil #twisted wonderland #twst tickling

[phoenixfangs]

tagged by @rizaposting HOLDING UR HAND AND PRESSING MY FOREHEAD AGAINST UR SHOULDER i never get tagged in these so this is fun huehue

are you named after anyone? not technically, ive asked my parents multiple times about How they came up with me and my siblings names, but they just. didnt think very hard about it. fjkdlsjfdlas. but in a way im named after my mom, because me and saturns given names start with the same letter as our moms; my younger siblings names start with the same letter as our dads. i guess me and saturn could also be named for one of my dads uncles?? our names mixed make that uncles name. but idk im not willing to believe my dad cares that much about Anyone in his family to honor their memory through our names lawl

when was the last time you cried? i think the other day watching atla, when zuko and iroh reunite before the final battle. zuko trying to stumble through an apology and thinking iroh must hate him, but iroh just without even saying anything grabbing zuko and pulling him into a tight and tearful hug... man ;_;

do you have kids? HELL NO!!!!! im barely halfway through my 20s i should be at the club. dont want kids, never wanted kids, will never want kids. i will tolerate being my nieces and nephews cool auncle when my siblings start having kids of their own, and No More, thanks

do you use sarcasm a lot? i guess so?? its hard to gauge. i feel like most of the time i speak sincerely, but i will also throw in the occasional sarcastic quip. shrugs

what sports do you play? i dont play any sports anymore, but up until high school i played softball. i was pretty good i think! pitcher and second base. also in middle/high school i was a baton twirler for band and i guess dance competitions (i have Never thought of it as 'dance' but i guess technically i was dancing... blegh), and im gonna count that as a sport. any activity with the possibility and probability of being hit on the head by a metal rod counts as a sport to me

what’s the first thing you notice about people? probably their height. most people are taller than me but i will make an immediate note of people who are Shorter than me

what’s your eye color? grrrreen gray? i spent a few minutes staring at my eyes trying to figure out the color but all i did was strain my eyes jfldks

scary movies or happy endings? hmmmmmm i love both. i like blood and gore and guts and evil, but i also like heartwarming fluff where everything works out. i cant decide!! it just depends on my mood hehe

any special talents? i hesitate to claim i have perfect pitch because it sounds self congratulatory, but im pretty sure i have perfect pitch lmao. i cant Identify notes by name but i can recreate pretty much any note i hear, as long as its in my range. im not a good singer though lawl i dont have the technique. in the same vein, i can recreate other noises i hear pretty well, like i taught myself how to do the perry the platypus clicking sound Thing he does just by listening to it

where were you born? texas born and raised! everyone i knew growing up was a redneck or a 'cowboy church' christian

what are your hobbies? drawing, writing fanfic oneshots or rps with friends, bideo games, rewatching the same handful of tv shows and letsplays and video essays over and over again

do you have any pets? my son, my sweet bubby, apollo :> my stupid little man, hes gonna be 3 this year i think! flame point siamese kitty, dumb as rocks, currently i think hes burrowed in the sheets on my bed taking a nappy

how tall are you? 5'2", but add a couple inches because i almost exclusively wear shoes that add height, like my Big Dyke Boots i wear every day hehe

favorite subject in school? any of my electives probably, like art and music/band. in college my favorite classes i ever took were film appreciation, screenwriting, and theatre directing (which i signed up for thinking it was film directing, but it was still so fun and interesting)

dream job? honestly?? i think anything on the set of a movie or tv show would be awesome. maybe creative consultant, so that i can interject my own ideas into other peoples projects. i tend to feel my most creative when im working Around other peoples ideas tbh. all that, or lead writer/director on my own tv show/movie/video game, if i ever feel like i can handle that pressure

GET TAGGED @applescabs @lizardyeast @cottagegay and anyone else that sees and wants to participate :>

#mine #this is such a classic type of post. u never see people do tag memes anymore i feel like #i hardly ever see them anyway!

[13tinysocks]

A nonexhaustive list of creepypasta x reader ideas ive had over the years and will never write. Please feel free to steal them and write them.

Red Eye

Coffee shop + slender mansion au. Yn is a lone night shift barista. The creepypasta(s) of your choice comes in every night for a red eye right before closing. Gotta fuel up before chasing down idiots who wandered in the woods. 

 Anyone whos worked customer service has felt a little homicidal before. After weeks of dealing with a shitty customer who management has done nothing about, yn takes matters into their own hands. By smashing their head in with a stovetop expresso maker. The creepypasta sees this though yn is unaware. Expecting them to be like any other human, the pasta thinks the next time the shop’s open yn wont be there. They’ll probably turn themselves in. Whatever.

But there’s no break in business for investigation and yns working there the next night. Upon realizing yn cleaned up the scene and is going on like nothing happened, the pasta’s interest is thoroughly peaked. Especially when another shithead customer gets brained a few weeks later. Realizing there’s a new serial killer in town, the pasta is more than interested but infatuated. 

Dead by Daylight

Slender mansion au + Splendorman

Slenderman had proxies that hunted and killed but what about Splendorman? Had always been the opposite of his stuffy older brother. When visiting after his domain collapses, he brings along his proxies. To which slender’s housemates/proxies were unaware existed. 

Splendor’s proxies are different. They don’t kill to feed him. They survive to feed him. Splendor puts them in near constant mortal peril for his own entertainment and sustenance. Be it randomly spawning them in the wilderness, sending random attackers after them, or straight up slicing off limbs. Most of his proxies don’t last a week. But yn has for years. Grizzled and exhausted, yn is a ruthless survivalist. They to keep the others alive but those stupid assholes never listen. There’s maybe one or two other proxies but they’re just this weeks cannon fodder. 

Splendor convinces Slender to let their proxies play. AKA “Hey! Your proxies should hunt mine down and try to kill them! Who ever has the best proxies wins this (slenders domain). Wouldn’t that be funny!” Except the game is contained to be only inside the vast slender mansion. 

Fun dynamics ensue. Cat and mouse. Splendor has a time out twice a day for a few minutes. Which really makes things awkward when a pasta is about to kill yn and they have to let them go because breaking the rules on their end means death. Ensue awkwardly eating lunch in the same room after trying to kill eachother. Okay, time outs over. Yns already gone. 

A rivalry esc romance blossoms from there. They def hatefuck. 

Meat Is Me

EJ x reader

Life hadn’t gone the way you wanted. Now you were working as a mortuary assistant. Work was gruesome but not that bad. Until money gets tight at work and you’re alone, finishing cleaning up after the boss went home. Strange people come into the mortuary, family, with fists full of cash to spend just another hour with their loved one alone.

Afterward, you don’t think that was a family member but you’ve made one month’s rent in a single night. He keeps coming back. He tells other freaks. They come in the night when you’re alone. You have to hide the things they do to the bodies from your boss. Sometimes they take pieces. But at least your pockets are well lined. It was almost worth it until he came in.

He hid his face. You thought he was more shameful than the other necro-freaks. When you go to check on the body after he’s had his time with it. Fuck. He’d re-opened the chest cavity you so skillfully sewn shut post-autopsy. Everything was fucking gone. Worst of all? He skipped on paying you.

You manage to hide it from the boss. But he keeps coming back. He keeps taking more and more. You can’t go to the cops about him skimping your cash, you weren’t doing the most legal shit either. But you were too pussy to do anything about it. Especially after you walked in on one of his sessions and found a gray-fleshed monster eating strings of tendon from the body. 

How the hell are you going to get out of this one? 

The Archive

Just a magnus archive au where yn is John and the creepypastas are the fears. Think about it ok.

#creepypasta x reader #creepypasta #creepypasta fic #creepypasta headcannons #rea talks #writing #not minor safe #eyeless jack

[aromanticbuck]

Moustead + The Hockey AU

warnings: brief mention of chronic/terminal illness and death, implied alcoholism, depression, behavior that could be considered self harm

Gregory Gerwitz IV liked hockey. It was his favorite sport. He had the family pull that let him get tickets to every home Blackhawks game, and he usually spent every minute at glass level, watching all the action with only the protection of the plexiglass shield a foot in front of his face. But that was the Hawks, NHL, the big leagues, even if their playoff outlook wasn’t very high.

What he didn’t particularly care about was the minor league team that his father bought between seasons when he was a teenager, like adding to the weight of the family business he was supposed to inherit was somehow a birthday gift. He’d wanted a car that year, or the freedom to spend more time at the stables with Phil and Amelia, or even better, to not be forced into a business track at a college barely half an hour away from home. He definitely didn’t want to be promised the Chicago Mice, a hockey team that no one had heard about because they sucked, had never won a single game, and gave him the mocking nickname Mouse for his entire senior year of high school.

So, he ignored it. Greg ignored the family name on all of the merchandise and swag he saw around the city. He ignored the change in the Mice’s record when they started winning games. He ignored all of it. It was easier to ignore it than acknowledge that he’d have to handle that some day, too. It was another weight on his shoulders he didn’t want to deal with.

But he could only ignore it for so long.

After college, and after he established himself working in the office with his father, he got pulled from a meeting early to go to lunch. Only, lunch didn’t involve food, just a mostly empty arena and a warm up for the team on the ice. Besides the coaches and the players, they were the only ones there, and it wasn’t exactly fun.

He got a bag of popcorn for his midday meal, and glass level seats, and normally, that would be just fine with him. He’d done it at a few matinee games, living off junk food and rooting for his team, but this was different. Because one day, it really would be his team, whether he wanted it to be or not.

And he really didn’t want it.

Jay Halstead didn’t know what he wanted to do when he finished high school. He knew it had to take his attention, be a good distraction from everything going on at home, not let him linger on any of it. With his brother off to school in New York and his mother in and out of the hospital with medical bills to keep up with, he didn’t have a lot of options. It had to be something with a steady income, enough to keep up with unforeseen expenses.

Hockey had started as a hobby, something he did at the local rec center when he had free time and a few extra bucks. He’d tried out for the Mice as a joke - maybe they weren’t a great team, but the paycheck would be enough to make a dent in the medical debt he was helping with while still paying for his own apartment. The fact that he made it on the team at all was some kind of miracle, and it felt like the universe, or some other force, was telling him he was doing exactly the right thing.

It was the final game of his first season with the team when he got a phone call from the bench. He didn’t even get to see the rare victory, too busy rushing to the hospital on the other side of the city. He picked his brother up at the airport the next day, and by the end of the weekend, they had to shift their efforts to planning a funeral instead of any other medical next steps. It meant the owner of the team wanted him gone, wanted him and his odd penchant for never showing up on time off the team.

He got lucky again. He was one of the players who had gained them as many small victories as they’d gotten in the months he was playing. He got another chance.

But after such a loss, it was hard to go back to live as usual. He could keep playing the game he’d grown to love, but it wasn’t enough of a distraction anymore. And, after another season, he didn’t exactly need that much money when the bills were paid and no longer accumulating. He was free and clear, he could quit and go off and do whatever he wanted with his life. He could even stop making money all together and live in his childhood bedroom where the fridge was always stocked with snacks and more beer than he could drink. It’s what he wanted to do, some days, give up and retreat, let the sadness take him and swallow him whole.

When that wasn’t an option, he did something else. Every single play that seemed a little too rough could end in a punch. He could skate a little faster and push a little harder. He could leave the ice with bruises or a bloody nose that made him feel a little more solid, like he was still a part of his own life instead of just floating through it. It wasn’t healthy, and it got him more penalties than he cared to count, and it almost made him lose everything. It almost got him kicked off the team, again, and that was when reality forced him to look it in the eye.

So Jay pulled himself back together again, made himself play the way he knew he could. It was less aggressive and more calculated, passing and scoring and improving the team’s record year after year.

It wasn’t like he did it singlehandedly, but he knew he was a big part of it, the Mice going from the worst team in the league to the top five in almost no time at all. And, when he heard whispers of the owner of the team coming to watch a practice one afternoon at the start of the season, he didn’t let that opportunity pass him by. He showed Mr. Gerwitz that keeping him around was a good idea, that he was very capable of playing at the level he needed to in order to keep his position on the team.

And, when he turned around and took his helmet off after scoring a warm up goal, he found that the only person near the bench who was even looking at him wasn’t the owner of the team at all - just his son.

#one chicago #cpd #chicago pd #jay halstead #mouse gerwitz #greg gerwitz #greg mouse gerwitz #moustead #alex does moodboards #gregory gerwitz iv #the hockey au* #i have been thinking about this au all day #happy (almost) final day of the hockey season #have this as a treat #also this is the single most ridiculous origin of the 'mouse' nickname #i'm very proud of it

[guessimate]

Have a great Easter weekend if you celebrate!

We are starting round IV for the Asian part of my sim world today. I think when this round is over, I will come back to my original founders and move them to the Ancient European times.

There will be no drama for the Laos, but a free chicken... or 2 because you know me, I just had to give them a pair. So they got a free hen and a rooster.

And 18 hens hatched from the hatchable eggs they have gathered this round. I'll have to start collecting only the regular eggs. 20 chickens are more than enough.

Just a disclaimer - this ROS was not at all because of Easter, but coincidentally this post is coming around this time since I have got energy to play only now...

~*~

The man of the house kept rolling wants for his son to get into a private school and for him to become an overachiever. Sadly, he doesn't even know Hisashi's current whereabouts, but he'd be happy to hear he did well at school as a child.

Haru was in the red aspiration for most of the round, because he had to change his daughter's nappy. It is going to take him a long time to fulfill his want of mastering Flower Arranging. But at least his mood got a bit better on Magu's birthday, because he wanted to see her grow up well.

Magu aged up from a baby into a toddler and she's a Gemini like her mother, who sadly passed away. She's 0 Sloppy, max Outgoing, max Active, 0 Serious, and 7 Nice. She must have inherited her sloppiness and outgoingness from her dad who's a Leo (9 Outgoing and 0 Sloppy). Magu's one true hobby is Music&Dance. I believe it's the same as her mom's.

Despite not wanting to change her diapers, Haru taught his daughter all of her toddler skills. However, since his daughter didn't seem interested in learning the Nursery Rhyme at all, he didn't spend any time singing with her. I find it strange she never rolled that want, but it must have been because of her obsession with Logic.

Because Magu played with the rocks all the time and got to level 6 of Logic as a toddler, she discovered the Science lab. The newly generated hobby instructor didn't really know how to handshake a toddler, and I don't blame her. I would have been confused a toddler 'discovered science', too.

Totally off-topic but I got some more face templates in my game, since the custom Around the World templates got infant versions and I love the infant face mod. I didn't get all of them, but I choose 19, so townies generated by the game will quite likely end up with these faces. I'm looking forward to seeing some more variety!

~*~

There was also one pretty creepy occurrence. The runaway son was walking by the lot while Haru was resting, having just found out that he was sick with the flu [because of the chickens, I assume]. The son must be impatiently waiting for the inheritance!

Also, the altar with the urn caught on fire. Just for a few in-game minutes, so nothing bad happened, but I'm going to erect a graveyard soon just to make sure everything is safe.

~*~

Haru was making rose compositions for 96$ each this round. He put them on sale for 135$ each ['expensive']. Haru managed to craft only 10 flower arrangements this round, and he only opened his store once at the end of the round. I was hoping to have him craft more roses, but because of the chicken sickness, I had to keep him in bed more than I had anticipated.

They earned 1,350$.

500$ - rent

540$ - tax

135$ - tithe

1175$ - total to pay (rounded down to 1150$). They are left with 2,976$. The monastery has gathered 13,500$ from all the tax payers so far.

The Laos are blessed with ROS rolls giving them free money, but they don't have the most profitable business, since the florist's is not lucrative at all, considering they need to pay to craft the bouquets. I can definitely envision them trying to sell eggs on the side once they run out of the savings they have.

#ts2 #thesims2 #the sims 2 #mcc #medieval charter challenge #test of time #ancient #round 4 #flower arrangement #florist #Lao

[slightlyunconventional]

this might be a rlly shitty prompt, but how about elaborating on the ed/die not postponing d&d thing? like, the pollen count is really high and he's still hosting his meeting even though he can barely talk through his sneezes and steve's there to take him home?? idk but i'd love to see this if you don't mind 💕💕💕

thank you sm for the request - it’s absolutely not shitty i love it!!! apologies for any incorrect/inconsistent d&d terminology, ive never played before and had to just google some monster names and stuff ahah- big thanks to everyone who gave me info & advice though, it really helped me and gave me somewhere to start!

“That’s a miss!” Eddie shouts energetically, a wide grin stretched across his face, “Seven points of damage!”

A groan spreads throughout the party, and they waste no time in plotting what move to make with them all on such low health. After a minute or so, Mike decides to roll for damage since he has a few more HP than everybody else.

The room is silent as Mike tosses the die. It clatters across the table, seven pairs of eyes trained on it.

“Over twelve for a hit,” murmurs Eddie, swiping a hand briefly under his nose,

It slows down… stops.

Fourteen.

Cheers, clapping, and uproarious laughter fill the room. Steve, who is across the room, leaning against the doorframe, catches Eddie’s eye. He smiles and raises an eyebrow at Eddie, who grins back. Steve never really ‘got’ the whole Dungeons & Dragons thing, but that didn’t stop him from spectating the occasional session just to see his boyfriend in his element. Eddie turns back to his game.

“The Thessalhydra has been slain!” he shouts, only amplifying the group’s excitement. High-fives are exchanged across the room as Eddie prepares to proceed with the campaign.

Steve, still watching Eddie from across the room, stands up a little straighter as he notices the darker-haired boy’s brow furrow. After a few moments, his shoulders raise briefly as he ducks into a fist soundlessly, clearly making use of the group’s distraction so as not to draw attention to himself. Steve’s own brow furrows now, this time due to concern. He decides not to say anything for now, however, and instead opts to pay closer attention to Eddie as the game goes on.

Their campaign continues as normal for a while longer, the usual dice thrown, enemies slain, and party as boisterous as ever. Steve momentarily forgets about keeping his eye on Eddie until the same happens again - three sneezes stifled silently into his fist. Steve takes this as an opportunity to move closer to the table, under the excuse that he "wanted to get a better look at the game." Eddie knows this is a lie - Steve has never shown much interest in D&D.

It's only once he's pulled up a chair and sat next to Eddie that he realises just how bad he looks - nose rimmed red, eyes glassy with tears, every sentence punctuated by a pitiful sniffle. Steve's about to say something until Eddie begins hitching again.

"ihH'kNXGt! hnNGXT! F-fuck, I'm…huhHh-!?"

After two haphazardly stifled sneezes, the third seems to elude him, until -

"...uhh'hHISHHiew!"

He's caught off guard by the final explosion, just barely managing to loosely lift an arm to his face, and earning a chorus of "bless yous" from around the room. A mist of spray lingers and falls in the air around him.

Leaning in closer to him, Steve puts a comforting hand on Eddie's thigh.

"You okay?" he says softly.

Eddie scrunches his nose before replying.

"Y-yeah… 'm fine. Got.. hhuh… got half an hour left of this campaign. I'll be… I'll be fine."

Steve looks skeptical but chooses not to press the matter. Another thirty minutes can't hurt, right? DND is Eddie's favourite thing too, he wouldn't miss it for the world…

Eddie gets right back into the swing of the game, albeit sounding a little tired and congested.

"You enter the cave, lit dimly by torches along the walls…" He pauses, sliding a knuckle briefly under his pink-hued nose, before continuing his dramatic description, "...when you… you… hh-hHEhh-! Fuckihhn..-"

A hand hovers instinctively near Eddie's face as he attempts to continue talking through the impending need to sneeze.

"Y-you begin to… to hearhH'isZSCHIEW! Shit- huh'uHSHHiew! ah'kKSHIEW!"

The room observes this spectacle awkwardly, while Steve looks at Eddie, exasperated.

"Eddie. Eddie."

Eddie manages to look up at Steve, eyes brimming with irritated tears, and presses his lips into a sheepish smirk.

"I'm taking you home. Now."

That wipes the smirk right off Eddie's face.

"No, wait, there's - it's not-" he begins.

"I think your party can live without twenty minutes of a game. Didn't look like you were going to get anywhere with it either way," replies Steve, taking Eddie by the arm, prepared to drag him from his 'throne' if he has to. The group protest quietly amongst one another but no outward objections are made. Steve takes this as a sign to walk Eddie right out of the door.

#okay hi everyone apologies if that was bad especially the ending #i haven't written in a while so i hope i did okay :') #feel free to send more reqs in my inbox!! i wanna practise writing more again #snz #snzblr #snz kink #snz blog #snzario #stran/ger thi/ngs #snzfic

[sewercentipede]

in other news my husband bought me a new laptop!!!!!!! :)))))) since my macbook is 10 years old and for the last few years has been almost completely unusable(so much of its software and hardware is fucked up and nothing ive tried has fixed its issues, it cant get its iOS updated anymore, it always has to be plugged in to work, and its so slow it cant run more than one program at a time), it is essentially a paperweight. this new laptop is specifically for gaming and he got it for half off (like its normally about $1k but for some reason electronic stores did black friday deals super early) and its brand new, not refurbished, and not an apple (aka shitty) product. he picked it up for me today while i was sleeping so it was just here when i woke up like it was christmas day

ive been customizing stuff on it and playing around with it to get a feel for it. i havent tried to run any games yet but i downloaded witcher 3 (since its a pretty taxing game i think itll be a good performance test), and it installed in like 10 minutes. if that game runs without issue then i bet if i got an extra stick of 8gb ram i could run freaking anything, even games like metro exodus and cyberpunk. altho my desktop PC is an absolute beast and can run any game--my husband built it for me in 2016 for my birthday and even tho it could run cyberpunk surprisingly well with those specs, he recently replaced the graphics card, mother board, and doubled the ram so it's basically a tank of a gaming PC now--i cant take that thing on trips obviously. which i have to do more often than i would like. i really needed a functioning laptop, so im super excited!!!!

in my opinion i dont deserve such a nice thing at all, or even the PC i have, especially because i havent had an income since 2019. but my husband disagrees lol he fuckin rules, i love him. aside from how much he takes care of my chronically ill ass and puts up with my shit, financially supports me, does countless things for me out of pure selflessness, always wants to make me feel good, im always amazed by the thoughtful way he gives me gifts without needing to ( its never my bday or a holiday ykwim). theyre either total surprises to me that blow me away bc the level of attention and care that went into it, or its practical things that hes like "im getting this thing for you bc you need it and you deserve nice tools instead of settling for crap, idc what you think!!!!!!"

he even bought me a brand new iphone too since my iphone is 7yrs old, cant get updated past iOS 12 meaning i cant use or download a ton of apps i rly need and its constantly running out of space and starting to have battery issues. ive been avoiding getting a new one for a long time cuz ive been clinging to having an audio jack but the phone has become so obsolete software-wise that it is more problem than its worth just to have an audio jack. although the new phone has yet to arrive which is frustrating cuz he ordered it 3 weeks ago and it still says its in the order stage, not even shipped.

regardless i feel so sugared rn lmao. im gonna play witcher 3 on this laptop and see how it runs :3

#so many nice things i dont deserve but he gets for me bc he loves me..... and its not like hes made of money. we were homeless a year ago #he lives on veteran pension and govt grants and scholarships #so these gifts r not insignificant like it would be for a rich person #he just wants the best for me bc he loves me uwu #isnt that what love is tho--wanting the world for ur partner #no matter the cost #when hes done w school and gets a job hes like extremely insistent on buying me a new car n buying us a house #since my dad has my car and hes not taking care of it at all i had to beg him to get the oil changed last time i visited him:( #and i rly love my car so it hurts seeing it get neglected and fall into disrepair.... #dear god im writing an essay in these tags

[another-whump-sideblog]

Jane’s Pets Pt. 54: Consequences

TWs in the tags

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“Eat.” Jane commands. “Bunny specifically requested that I let you eat today, and it’s his anniversary.”

Kitty is not hungry enough for wet cat food to taste good, but they gag it down. Their defiance only goes so far, and they won’t disobey a clear order.

“Good! He asked me to give you water, too. Kneel.”

Jane holds a water bottle to their lips. They roll their eyes, but drink from it all the same.

“Good, good. Give me your arm.”

They hold out their arm instantly. Jane puts a needle in it. An IV. Then she pulls both of their arms behind their back roughly and ties them to their ankles.

A stress position. They can handle that, they’re good at handling that. But what’s the IV for?

Jane wraps a blindfold around their head. No, no, not that, not with the IV, that means she can leave them here for months without even needing to touch them. And they’ll hear nothing and see nothing and feel nothing for months, no no no please no.

“Wait! I’m sorry, I’m sorry for what I said, I won’t do it again, please! Please, master, I’m sorry. I never would’ve done it if you said it was against the rules! Please, I’m good, I’m obedient, there’s no need for this. Just tell me that I have to be nice to you and I will. I’ll be nothing but respectful, please? I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

“It’s not about rules.” Jane winds duct tape around their head, over and over and over. The blindfold isn’t coming off any time soon. “I can hurt you whenever I want, for whatever reason I want. And you mocking me makes me want to hurt you.”

Jane places heavy headphones over their ears, and they are left with nothing but their thoughts.

~~

Today would be a good day to visit my therapist. She’d have something interesting to say about my past few days, I’m sure, and I desperately need to hear something interesting.

I watch her from my void as she plays a video game, waiting until she’s clearly very focused to exit my void and sit on the couch near her. She plays a few more rounds before she notices.

“Fuck!” She gasps, narrowly avoiding chucking her controller across the room. “How long have you been there?”

“Just a minute. What are you playing?”

“I’m sure you know more about it than I do. What do you want?”

“Just to talk, like always.”

Peyton turns off her game, taking a deep breath. “When’s the last time you ate?”

“I don’t need to eat.”

“And yet, you’re always more pleasant to talk to after a healthy meal. Starvation doesn’t have to kill you to affect you. Which you should know better than anyone, with all the non-lethal torture you do. Come on, I’ll make you some soup.”

“I can make my own soup. I know how to make a soup so good it makes everything else taste worse by comparison. Besides, I ate a couple of days ago. And I can summon any soup I want from my void.”

“That’s nice.” Peyton goes into her kitchen anyway. I follow. “Was there anything specific you wanted to talk about?”

“I’ve has a busy few days. It was Bunny’s anniversary, so I tried to have a fun day with everyone. But Kitty was a snot and Bunny was all whiny about his head hurting, so it didn’t go as planned.”

“Ah. How are they?”

“Who?”

“Your… the people living with you.”

“My pets? Puppy and Bunny are fine. Kitty’s in the basement because they need a reminder of their place.”

“And why is that?”

“They’ve been so disrespectful lately! Acting like I don’t know what I’m doing, criticizing my choices. Fucking brat. They belong to me.”

“I thought that you didn’t care what lowly mortals thought of you.”

“I don’t! But they need to know their place.”

“Why?”

“They’re my pet! They should be scared of me. They should want to avoid making me angry. They should be constantly thinking about how to keep me entertained so I don’t hurt them.”

“…Why?”

“Because that’s the kind of behavior that entertains me. Obviously.”

“Them disrespecting you is boring?”

“Well… no.”

“I thought this was all about handling boredom. Why would you punish behavior that entertains you?”

“Because I can do whatever the fuck I want. Like, if I wanted to, I could beat you to death with a baseball bat.”

“I never said you couldn’t. I just asked a question.” Peyton cuts carrots steadily. Her hands do not shake. She doesn’t believe me.

“Are you making chicken noodle soup? I told you, there’s no need for that.”

“If you don’t want it I’ll have it. Don’t change the subject. Why are you punishing Charlie for behavior that entertains you?”

“Who?”

“You know who I’m talking about. Why are you avoiding the question?”

“I’m not! I guess obedience just entertains me more. And hurting them entertains me more.” I smirk. “And I’ve got you. You can entertain me by disrespecting me. By acting like we’re equals. They can entertain me by going from snarling at me in anger to begging for mercy in a matter of seconds.”

“I see. And you don’t think that will ever get old?”

“Nope!” This is a conversation we’ve had several times before. I think Peyton has a poor memory.

“Why would it stay entertaining when nothing else does?”

“I don’t know why, but I know it does. I’ve been doing this longer than I’ve done anything else, and it’s still not boring. Haven’t figured out why yet, but I’m sure I will. I have all the time in the world.”

“Right. Well, what else happened on Liam’s anniversary?”

“Oh, I took them to an amusement park! Bunny and Puppy, I mean. They didn’t have the big reactions I was hoping for, but it was still fun. I haven’t ridden rollar coasters for a while. Then Puppy and me made S’mores and watched a movie while Bunny cried or something in his room.”

“Because of his migraine?”

“His headache. Are you assuming it’s a migraine because he was crying over it? He cries over a lot of things. I don’t know what kind of headache it is, I’ve never asked about if it only affects one side of his head or makes his vision blurry.”

“So you just don’t care at all about what kind of damage you did to his brain.”

“I didn’t do it! He tripped!”

“And I’m sure the repeated concussions you gave him before that had no impact at all. Seriously, though. He could die. I thought you only want them to die when you choose it.”

“He’s fine. None of his symptoms have been getting worse. I think.”

“Jane!”

“I gave him an MRI! I know where the issues are and that they’re not fatal. Relax.”

“Y’know, if you got him some migraine medication- or any pain relief medication- he would be less whiny about the headaches. And be able to do the things you want him to be able to do.”

“He hasn’t earned that. He’s free to ask for it the next time he earns a reward.”

“I’m just pointing out that if his headaches are annoying you, it’s completely in your power to make his headaches easier to deal with.”

“Hmm… if I gave him medicine for it, I could threaten to take it away to keep him in line…”

Peyton pours me a bowl of chicken noodle soup. “Hopefully, that won’t seem as appealing once you have a full stomach. Eat.”

~~

Diya is having trouble convincing eir new friends to stage a rescue mission for people they don’t know.

“Come on! We all know what it’s like to trapped like that, don’t we? I can’t just leave them there, knowing they’re still being hurt.”

“Didn’t one of them break your fingers?” Karen asks.

“Yes, but they obviously thought it was their only option. They were crying, Barron, they didn’t want to. And even if they did, no one deserves to be stuck there.”

Barron jumps in. “We don’t even know what the monster is, though. What makes you so confident you can get past her?”

“You! Your powers! You can block her out, if only for long enough to get the three of them out. Or more, do you think there might be more?”

Barron figits with its bracelets. “That’s a lot of pressure on me, isn’t it? If you get caught, it would be my fault.”

Diya frowns. “It wouldn’t be your fault. This is my idea, and… I’ll do it with or without you.”

“Sheesh. This is really important to you?”

“It is.”

“Alright, alright. You’ll have to give me a few days to get the spells prepared.”

“Thank you! You won’t regret it, I promise. Karen? Are you going to come?”

Karen grimaces. “I’ll follow you. If things get too dangerous, I will leave.”

“Good enough! Okay, we’ve got a few days to plan while Barron prepares its spells. How should we approach this?”

A/N: Let me know if I should tag anything else!

Tag list: @eatyourdamnpears @whump-in-the-closet @scp-1296 @fuzzybucketz

#whump #whump writing #whumpblr #creepy whumper #intimate whumper #nonhuman whumper #multiple whumpees #whumpee #whumper #caretaker #pet whump #3rd person pov #1st person pov #stress positions tw #sensory deprivation tw #medical abuse mention tw #jane’s pets

[kraefishh]

nintento direct thoughts

yeah so hi i deliberately stayed up until 7am on a work night in order to watch this and do not regret a thing.

-> splat3 dlc looks cool!! will i play it? no. does it look cool as hell? yeah!!! I personally don't like splat3's actual single player campaign so unless im able to access the dlc without finishing the main campaign then... im not playing it lmao. it looks cool as fuck though!! i like whatever the hell they had going on with the glitchy taz hunger looking goop that produced skeleton fish. pearl + marina lore is also a win in my book -> i dont actually have all that many thoughts about the smrpg showcase but MAN it looks cool as hell. at first i didnt like the revamped graphics but now theyre growing on me.... plus the trio attacks??? HELL YEA! i hope the remake will make me actually finish the game this time around instead of start it twice in the past three years and then quit within the first few areas (<- i say as if this isnt a normal problem i have regardless. thanks, its the adhd)

-> SaGa Emerald Beyond actually looks interesting?? like I know nothing about that game series but the character designs look very cool and i like the concept of a multiple outcome story based entirely on which character you play. do i think i'd actually play this game? no, probably not. looks cool tho

-> despite me being The pokemon nerd i have nothing to say about the new detective pikachu game. i dont like the voice they gave pikachu imo. i think thats just cause im spoiled on movie detective pikachu being ryan reynolds... i joke i kid. kinda. also i never like. actually played any detective pikachu games so i got nothing

-> WAS NOT EXPECTING A TROMBONE CHAMP PORT, TO BE QUITE HONEST

-> cool that were getting a new wario-ware!! not sure how i feel about like the.... forms? is that what theyre called?? w/e regardless im not sure how i feel about em. but its a wario-ware game so its bound to be weird but like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-> FUNKY KONG DIDDY KONG PAULINE RELEASE FOR MARIO KART WAS NOT ON MY LIST. SO SO HAPPY THOUGH. peachette is whatever. no idea where she came from

-> gotta say i completely forgot among us was on switch so seeing the crewmates i was like "are they making a fucking spin-off game for switch?" no. i just forgot. the fungle is a funny name though i appreciate it

AND THEN

THE LAST THING I WAS EXPECTING

A PAPER MARIO THOUSAND YEAR DOOR REMASTER.

I was laying there in bed at 7:40am and was like. oh cool one last thing before its over. its probably gonna be just another title release of something or a sneak peek on some dlc.

and then i hear the music.

THAT NOSTALGIC MUSIC THAT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE IM SEVEN YEARS OLD AGAIN

-> yeah anyway so i screamed "WHAT!?" at the (metaphorical) top of my lungs (because it was 7:40am and people were sleeping). ttyd getting a remaster is so so cool. and now that i know its possibly getting a re translation that makes me even more happy. give us trans vivian....... i also just think its very funny that ive been playing ttyd on twitch for the past. year now? (ive taken a shit ton of breaks) and theyre making a remaster?? now? not complaining im having a blast playing it with my cohost but HHADGHGAKDFJ

-> i'm mostly just excited for the remaster cause it'll hopefully bring traction back to the paper mario series. idk about like the general consensus of the fandom but like. the paper mario series has been needing a pick me up for a HOT MINUTE.

-> no i am not going to play the remaster of ttyd for stream. maybe on my own time. we'll see. i dont see the point of finishing the og only to then, like a year later, play the remaster. especially when i have a TON of games backlogged on my list since i only stream once a week. more often than not, not even that. i am planning on doing rpg tho

#krae rambles #nintendo direct #ttyd #stream things #also yes im staying up now to write this on a work night at 5am what of it #this is normal #have a good day

[glitchbirds]

there are three major video game genres to me- "total focus", "foreground noise", and "spreadsheet games"

"total focus" games pretty much require my complete undivided attention, maybe with some moments of downtime (ex: lobby load times, pausing the game) sprinkled in, but otherwise they are the main thing i am invested in the entire time the game is open. most story-driven games are this by default, as are most multiplayer games. under most circumstances these are not easy to make myself sit down and play unless im fully in the mood for it, because i have to carve out a block of time to dedicate to whatever the game is, and if i have anything else thats even slightly engaging to me going on that requires less energy thats often going to be what i gravitate towards. dead by daylight is one example of this, since its a multiplayer game that i will play in several-hours-long chunks of time "foreground noise" games are ones that i normally play while doing something else, usually putting more focus on the other thing than the game, with occasional exceptions. these are games i found myself playing while listening to pre-recorded lectures for classes, or that i turn to while struggling to keep my attention on a movie or video without either pausing every few seconds or otherwise ignoring it, or just so i have something to do with my hands while rewatching something. while they CAN be played with full undivided attention, thats a bit of a waste of mental resources, but they Are very easy to just pick up again and again at any time. most pokemon games (after ive played through them at least once) fall under this umbrella, gen 3 games in particular i have replayed from start to finish more times than i can count (mostly as randomized roms these days) "spreadsheet games" are the hardest to commit to playing at any given time and often the easiest for me to burn out on and feel like im not actually enjoying them and just pushing myself through (and yet i still somehow want to play them and will normally just take significant breaks). with these games i get caught up on optimization and will completely ignore story-related content for as long as physically possible while grinding for the best encounters, best items, getting as close to 100% completion as i physically can, etc. because of this i rarely can play the games casually without fretting about whatever stuff im missing, and have to have some sort of document keeping track of what im looking for open or easily accessible at all times. not all of these games involve me using actual literal spreadsheets but, for example, i have MULTIPLE files related to the game pokemon conquest and my efforts to get every single character to match with their perfect link pokemon;

the oldest of these files was last updated in 2015 and is just a notepad document of sentences like "takatora[charmeleon] needs litwick, kanemori[gurdurr] needs croagunk, nobuchika[panpour] needs gyarados"... this information corresponded to a ROM file of pokemon conquest that i lost the save file to at some point, likely while changing computers in 2018. my CURRENT file, though, is an actual spreadsheet using a base made by someone else Similarly Insane about pokemon conquest and corresponds to a physical copy of conquest that i own, which is in the early stages of the very long postgame (i have never actually finished conquest's postgame because of my perfect link quest). it was last updated late 2022 and looks like this:

(my past self did not make a color key and im not digging up the cartridge right now to double check, but after a few minutes of deliberation i believe blue = "i have this character but not the perfect link", yellow = "i have the link but not the fully evolved version of the pokemon yet", and red = "i have the fully evolved version of the link pokemon". white ofc means i havent recruited the character yet)

anyway all this is background information so i can say that rdr2 is slowly becoming a spreadsheet game to me because i am obsessed with getting as close to 100% game completion in chapter 2 as physically possible so that from now on whenever i decide to replay rdr2 from the start, i can play the game normally until the end of chapter two THEN make a copy of This save and go on playing from that point so i can have all the pearson camp stuff completed, all the trapper items, all weapons unlocked, all challenges complete, all collectathons done, etc and play stress-free. but also i really wanted to actually replay rdr2 from the start right now so these two parts of my soul are at war. and yes i have an rdr2 spreadsheet open (keeping track of all perfect pelts collected for pearson and the trapper) as well as an interactive map of the game so i can keep track of collectables, easter eggs, etc

#txt #this is several paragraphs of rambling about how video games work in my brain. click at your own peril #ok yeah i had to edit this like 5 times in quick succession to finally force the readmore to actually show up Love Website

[everygame]

Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey Redux (Nintendo 3DS)

Developed/Published by: Atlus, Lancarse / Atlus Released: 15/05/2018 Completed: 13/09/2022 Completion: Finished it with the new chaos ending. Did barely any of the side quests, admittedly. Trophies / Achievements: n/a

Hmm. Might sound surprising, but Strange Journey has always been the Shin Megami Tensei game I’ve been the most interested in. Something about the setting–a scientific team investigating a world-threatening anomaly at the south pole–really intrigued me.

(I tend to wonder if it also really intrigued Jeff VanderMeer, considering Annihilation is pretty similar, if not actionably so, and the book came out about four years after this.)

After playing Shin Megami Tensei III: Nocturne, I have to admit I was pretty jazzed to finally play this! And you know what–when it started, I was having a pretty good time! The setting was what I hoped, the first few levels were entertaining first person dungeon fun… but then the problems started to mount up. And quickly.

First things first: the whole demon fusion system in this game is completely wack. Now, I know that I played a remaster of Nocturne, so it was definitely made a bit easier to cook up exactly what you’d like, but Strange Journey saddles the players with demons who don’t learn anything when levelling up, and who instead give you their “demon source” after a few battles with them. This source, which is extremely hard to collect more than once per demon, is the only way to get to choose what skills a demon inherits, by which I mean “you can give it the skills attached to the source.” (Meaning that if you’ve got two low-level demons with great skills who turn into a much higher-level demon with crappy skills, uh… you’re stuck. Hope the source you use has good skills.)

You might think this doesn’t sound totally ruinous, but it all incentivises which is what I would call “completely the wrong way to play the game.”

What it means is that as any time spent with a demon that has given you its source feels like wasted time, you’ll be fusing them at an absolutely insane pace. And, because you’re using demons for, like, five to ten battles, it feels like a waste to use your sources on them, especially when you can’t guarantee that a future demon will inherit those skills without you pouring over online fusion tools to try and get the best outcome (on a demon you’ll use for twenty minutes.)

It creates a pretty tedious cycle, which is made even worse by the fact that the game doesn’t use the Press Turn system in a real “let’s re-invent the wheel” move, and instead gives you free almighty damage follow-up attacks from team members with the same alignment. Considering you’re (probably) cycling demons like a maniac, this can be insanely annoying to sort out and is.. only mildly rewarding.

So if I’m going to advise anyone on playing this, I’d say “don’t be trying to fill out your demon list and/or collect all the sources.” Instead, just try and sort out a team in each new dungeon that’s your alignment, give them the needed elemental attacks etc. via sources (just use ‘em up, you’ll get more) and only fiddle about in the periphery with fusion when it’s going to pay off or it’s demons you’ll never use. You will have a much better time.

But I think this problem fades into insignificance, honestly, compared to problem number one. The dungeons. Now, I don’t want to get ahead of myself here. It’s not like Strange Journey is Wizardry IV or anything. But it does, very quickly, reveal itself to be for CRPG experts… by which I mean insane masochists. The game might auto map, it’s true, and they can’t get away with the old trick of spinners as a result, but every other dirty trick in the book is used here. You’ve got warp mazes, invisible walls, hidden paths, dungeons layered on top of dungeons that you need to switch between to navigate… oh, did I mention that the warp dungeons sometimes need you to do the warps in specific orders? And they never label which warp takes you where on the automap?

It is… miserable. There are huge segments of this game that are tedious beyond belief I think unless you absolutely adore this kind of dungeon design. I’m the kind of guy who just wants to walk down corridors and punch things, filling out a map. This game’s maps turned me off from that so much that by the end I was literally just looking up the maps online and going the fastest way from point A to B not even filling in all the squares of rooms I was going in. That’s completely contrary to my beliefs!!!

SEVENTY SEVEN HOURS. Seventy seven hours is how long I spent playing this even resorting to such cheap tricks and avoiding most of the side quests!

And three hours of those seventy seven were just trying to beat the final boss!

Let’s talk that final boss. It’s probably the hardest boss in any video game I’ve ever played–certainly any RPG that I’ve committed to finishing. Fair play to it for being thematically appropriate, I guess, but it’s designed in a couple of ways: one, it reaches a point where you can only damage it through same-alignment follow-up attacks. Two, it casts a spell reflecting all damage from the predominant alignment in your party for several turns. 

Can you work out why that’s unbelievably cruel? Yes, because if any player hasn’t made sure to have literally three, top-level demons that aren’t of their alignment available, they’re fully fucked. Meaning that advice I gave you about using up your sources on same-alignment demons actually means you might not be able to finish the game without some insane grinding.

Here’s the weird thing though… it was a bit exhilarating, though, beating this boss. I’d probably have snapped my 3DS completely in half if I had died in my final run considering it alone took about an hour, but if you can survive the first time it reflects an entire alignment, you can swap your “good” demons out and put them back in once she sets up the wrong alignment protection.

I literally had to set up my party with sources to make sure I had three demons with the ability to resurrect and most of them offering healing and I barely survived it, with my MC dying at least six or seven times (including one particularly hairy moment when only one demon was alive and in the party.)

Once I’d won… I dunno if I felt anything but relief, to be honest, but it was definitely one of those moments you only get from video games.

But right, uh, do I recommend this or not? I think you can have a lot more fun with this if you let yourself get more attached to your party of demons than collecting sources, but you really need to love just the most horrible dungeon design to bear this at all, and an enjoyably brutal final boss doesn’t pay it back at all. I can’t say I regret playing this–it’s on 3DS, you pick it up and play it when you’ve got some downtime, there’s telly on in the background, you’re on a plane, etc.--but I don’t think I would knowing what I know now.

Will I ever play it again? It’s absolutely wild to me that these games track which endings you’ve got like you’re going to play them from scratch every time to see them all. Who on earth has time for that? Six endings in a game you could maybe speedrun in… 20 hours if you knew it inside out (yes, speedrun.com has several at about half that, but those are serious outliers.) Anyway, no.

Final Thought: However, speaking of endings, I will say that I appreciated that this game pushed me into a position that I didn’t expect, which was choosing to go Chaos. Without going into too much of spoiler territory, I think this manages to nail the ol’ “maybe man is the real monster” trope and offer the player the choice of forgiveness (or not). I took not, saw it through to the end, and really did feel like I got the best, most fitting ending. Thankfully. Did I mention I played this for seventy seven bloody hours???

Support Every Game I’ve Finished on ko-fi, either via a one-off donation (pay what you like) or by joining as a supporter at just $1 a month.

#video games #games #gaming #shin megami tensei #shin megami tensei: strange journey redux #text #txt #review #3ds #nintendo 3ds #2018

[ispyspookymansion]

hi kora as you are the resident horror expert and i have never watched a horror movie (at most ive been in the room as a kid while my cousin watched them, but never for more than a few minutes) do you have any recommendations for someone who gets scared easily and doesnt really like feeling afraid? i like watching people play horror games sometimes but it's easier to have the scary elements filtered through their reactions and commentary. I'm mainly asking because I'd like to watch horror movies because I think I'd enjoy the narrative elements of it but if i get too scared i wouldnt be able to watch a whole movie. you don't have to answer this if you don't want but if you do then thank you!!

also if this helps i mainly have trouble with heavy gore/body horror (some is fine just not like. the whole movie.) and jumpscares (idk if those are really common in horror movies but I know theyre a staple of horror games)

oh hiiiiii <3 delighted to be your little horror gateway!! im not sure if youre looking for slashers or something a little plot heavier, but thats my favorite subgenre, so forgive a but od a bias towards them. oh, and yes, most movies do have at least one big jumpscare :( theyre not my favorite kind of horror at all so none of these are chock full of them, but almost every horror movie’s got a few. you can check them on wheresthejump if youre super worried!!

first, just about anything from the 70s or 80s probably wont scare you all that much because of the limitations in quality. i would stay away from cronenberg if body horror isnt your thing, but theres lots of fun to be had in those decades that either isnt super gory or didnt have the budget/tech to be disturbingly gory to our modern eyes! im also um…..desensitized to movie gore, so take anything i say with a grain of salt. okay! lets rec!

(these first ones are a little on the sillier side)

- nightmare on elm street

- happy death day

- creepshow

- scream

- an american werewolf in london

- cabin in the woods

- ready or not

- the lost boys

- night of the creeps

(these are less silly, but i tried to keep all really big scares off while giving some nice plot driven ones)

- carrie

- halloween

- night of the living dead

- candyman

- antiviral

- alien

- dawn of the dead

- lake mungo

- the hitcher

- pyewacket

- kristy

and if you follow me then you know im a huge fan of saw, child’s play, IT 2017, and reanimator, all of which i cant recommend enough! but i’m so fond of them that i have no idea if they’re really scary or not…..anyways! thats a little list for you with some that are very common and some that are a little less known, i tried to put a little of everything in there, sorry for my bias against supernatural horror :/ if theres something that looks interesting and you want to know more about how scary it is or the content warnings shoot an ask or a dm!! hopefully this is helpful, i hope you have fun <3

#i didnt think i would like horror movies when i first started watching them. i thought i wouldnt like feeling scared! but i usually dont #feel scared actually so you might surprise yourself :] im sure im forgetting some good ones but yeah…. #feel free too to specify things you like or dont like or come back for more recs once you have a few things for me to go off of <3 #asks #onrainynights #kora.txt