#jumping on the bandwagon before it gets annoying | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

demonpiratehuntress · 4 months

Text

mistletoe

featuring - Zoro x F!Reader, Ace x F!Reader, Sanji x F!Reader, Luffy x F!Reader, Law x F!Reader, Usopp x F!Reader, Kaku x F!Reader

summary - jumping on the mistletoe bandwagon, their reactions to finding themselves under the mistletoe with you

warnings - none

a/n: Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates it! I don't but I wanted to wish everyone else :)

ZORO

You would be lying if you said you didn't plan all week mostly trying to get Zoro under mistletoe with you. Coming up with excuses to get him in a doorway seemed near impossible, but after a very long few days of thinking, you had your plan set.

"Zorooooooo~"

The swordsman groaned, knowing exactly what that sing-song call meant for him. It could only spell mischief, and he popped open an eye to peer at you curiously.

"What do you want, woman?" He grumbled.

You pouted, "Come onnnnn, lighten up! It's Christmas!" You tugged on his arm. "Pleaseeee?"

He sighed loudly, "Fine."

He let you pull him up and drag him along, silently cursing his willingness to go along with whatever silly endeavor you chose for each day. He couldn't help it, as much as he wanted to just sleep, he loved you enough to participate in your silly antics.

When you suddenly stopped and pointed upwards, Zoro was confused. Then he looked up, and his eyes found some mistletoe hanging from the top of the doorframe.

"Seriously?" He looked back at you, frowning.

You rolled your eyes, "Fine, I'll go get Sanji."

That was enough to make him growl and grab your waist, tugging you forward so you were against his chest. You giggled innocently and wrapped your arms around his neck.

"You're so annoying," he complained, but kissed you anyway.

He kissed you slowly and deeply, pouring as much love as he could into it. Usually these kisses were brief, but he drew it out and kissed you for longer than you expected, effectively knocking the wind out of you when you pulled away.

"Now can I nap in peace?"

ACE

This man right here is perhaps the only one in this list that does not need to be dragged under it. He is the one carrying it around, putting it over two people's heads randomly and then running off giggling when they yell and chase him. But he will also put it over your head and his, although it took him a few tries.

"(Nameeeee)! Look what I got!"

Your energetic boyfriend bounded into the room you were busy in, holding something behind his back. He pouted when you didn't even look up, before repeatedly tapping your arm to get your attention.

"(Name), (Name), (Name)..."

He's like a little kid. So eventually you give in and look at him, only to see him raise something and hold it above yours and his heads. You blush madly upon seeing what it was, feeling butterflies form in the pit of your stomach. The fiery commander smiled innocently, and you couldn't help but giggle as you pulled away from your work to indulge him, wrapping your arms around his bare waist.

"Well, look what we have here," you smirked.

"I know, what a coincidence," he shot you a goofy grin, leaning in.

"I'm not complaining."

You crashed your lips against his, kissing him fiercely and hotly. He reciprocated immediately, making sure to keep the mistletoe hanging above as he cupped your cheek in his free hand, smiling against your lips. He loved kisses like these, energetic and passionate but also loving and adoring.

"That was by far the best response I've gotten to hanging this over people's heads."

"Oh my god, Ace!" you giggled, realising why everyone had been out for Ace's blood today. You shook your head at his antics, pecking his lips one more time before going back to work.

LAW

The complete opposite of Ace, Law is the hardest to get under the mistletoe. He is always cooped up in his room, working, and barely leaves. So you have to do some really deep thinking and planning to get this stubborn man to kiss you under the mistletoe.

Of course, he has to leave his room for meals, so you decide to strike at breakfast on Christmas.

You failed to account for the fact that Law was the most observant person to ever exist, and that he would easily spot the mistletoe you not-so-secretly hid above his doorway. He did find it, and called you first - knowing full well this was one of your shenanigans.

"(Name)-ya, what's that?"

You swallowed nervously and looked up, letting out a nervous chuckle, "I have no idea how that got there."

"Uh huh," he hummed, stepping closer to you. "Look me in the eye and say that again."

You couldn't. And now you were getting too nervous to even just grab him and kiss him, but little did you know that was part of his plan. He was flipping the switch, turning the tables on you and making it seem as if it was his idea.

"Well, you know the rule," he said casually, leaning closer to you. "I'm waiting."

Your face turned a dark shade of red at that, and you fidgeted with your shirt anxiously before leaning in to meet him halfway, letting your lips touch his gently. He was the one who deepened it, pulling you close and wrapping his arms around your waist.

Law, when he wanted to be, could be just as mischievous, if not more.

SANJI

I take it back, Sanji is the easiest to get under the mistletoe. In fact, he is the one planting the mistletoe everywhere in hopes of getting to snag a kiss from you at one point. Little did he expect, his plan would backfire quite miserably. Because instead of walking into the kitchen with you, you got stuck in the doorway with Usopp under the mistletoe, because Usopp had tried to get out the same time you tried to go in.

"YOU LONG-NOSED SNAKE-"

Sanji was fuming, throwing a tantrum as you just giggled and pecked the sniper's cheek, earning an embarrassed blush from him as he scuttled off.

"Babe-"

"Next one is mine, I swear!"

That did not happen. You just happened to be walking out of the aquarium when Zoro walked in, and Sanji almost fainted when the two of you landed under the mistletoe.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!"

"Rules are rules, twirly brows," Zoro smirked, enjoying this solely because it irritated the hell out of Sanji. As the blonde fumed and threw another tantrum, you gave Zoro a quick peck on the cheek as well before moving on.

Only after you had given Luffy, Brook, Franky and Chopper cheek kisses as well did Sanji FINALLY get you under the mistletoe, but by then he was in tears. Crying over how badly he'd planned this.

"Come here you," you laughed and pulled him close by the collars of his shirt, smashing your lips against his. You kissed him fervently, showing him that you'd been waiting for this kiss the most. He eventually relaxed and kissed you back just as passionately, locking his arms around your waist.

"About damn time."

KAKU

Oh, boy. The ratio of boys to girls in the CP9 team is horrible. There are two women, compared to six men. That's excluding Spandam, because you never included him in these things. But still, it was quite difficult for Kaku to surprise you with mistletoe because of the rare chance of getting you to walk where he placed it without you figuring it out.

Oh well.

So, begrudgingly, Khalifa agreed to help him out. Knowing it wouldn't be suspicious if she led you through a specific doorway, you followed her easily without questioning it.

That is, until she stopped outside the doorway and you entered at the same time as Kaku was trying to leave. The CP9 swordsman blushed, thankful that this worked, and shyly gestured up towards the mistletoe. Your eyes widened, before your own blush formed on your cheeks.

He is so so shy, you are the one who actually makes the move. He may have planted the mistletoe, but he is too nervous and flustered to actually lean in and kiss you, so you have to grab him by the zipper of his jacket and tug him down to meet you at eye-level.

"It's cute that you planned it out," you smiled innocently, knowing about it since Khalifa was not great at hiding what her task was.

"How did you-" He looked at Khalifa, who just shrugged and turned away. He blushed harder, "I didn't want to get anyone else under here by accident."

His admission made you giggle, "Fair enough."

Then you leaned in and kissed him slowly and deeply, angling your face away from his long nose after multiple experiences of your kisses being ruined by your eye being poked. His arms slipped around your waist and he lifted you up slightly, since he was much taller, and kissed you even deeper than you had kissed him.

"Get a room!" Jabra yelled, which you both ignored.

LUFFY

At least everyone else on this list actually knows what mistletoe is. Poor Luffy was so confused by the concept when Nami brought it up a few days before, and even explaining it to him didn't help. Unfortunately, on the day of Christmas, before anyone could actually show him what it was, Luffy had already eaten like three of the four plants that were strung up randomly around the ship.

"Luffy!" Nami scolded, "They're not food!"

Sanji had set them up, not knowing your dear captain would be oblivious enough to consume them, though he should have known better. Fortunately, since the cook was desperately trying to get either Robin or Nami to kiss him, he had spares.

"It's mistletoe, Luffy," you giggled as you took his hand and guided him to where Sanji had hung a surprise one for you and Luffy.

"What does it do?" He blinked, so very cutely confused.

"Well," you began, stopping under the doorway with the mistletoe, "You have to kiss the person you end up under the mistletoe with." As you said it, you blushed hard.

"But why?" Luffy asked. "Can't I just kiss you anyway?"

You laughed at that, blushing more, "You can, but it's more like...a cute tradition."

"Oh," he nodded, looking like he understood. He did not.

"Luffy," you sighed, pointing up at the plant.

He looked up, got excited and reached for it...only to have you slap his hand away.

"Don't eat it!"

Before he could respond, you tugged him against you by his waistcoat and kissed him deeply, successfully distracting him from his mission to apparently consume all the mistletoe you owned. He wrapped his arms around you excitedly and kissed you messily, but you didn't mind because he was just very eager.

"I get it now!"

USOPP

Like Kaku, Usopp is an extremely shy, flustered boy. He is so nervous all the time and when Robin off-handedly mentions mistletoe a day before Christmas, Usopp almost faints. He has kissed you before, but the idea of setting it up and leading you to it had his knees knocking together, his legs becoming two wavy lines.

"Usopp!" You called excitedly, rushing to find your boyfriend. While he was so nervous about the mistletoe, you had no such qualms and even blatantly waved it around over your head. "Look what I found!"

When you reached him, you smiled innocently as you held the little plant over your heads, grabbing his hand to pull him close.

"And what exactly do you have there?" He asked, feigning confusion.

You raised an eyebrow, then smirked, "Are you getting shy on me again? How cute." You kissed his cheek, making him protest.

"Is that my kiss?! That is so unfair, how can you just-"

You cut him off by actually kissing him, effectively shutting him up and drowning out his complaints. You kissed him deeply, much more passionately than your usual kisses and giggled when his legs almost gave out from under him.

"I-I was gonna do that..."

"Uh huh."

1K notes · View notes

nina-renmen · 3 months

Text

Yandere Hybrid Team 141

I’ve been seeing posts like this and thought I would jump on the bandwagon. The idea of yandere hybrid 141 is not my idea but this specific scenario is.

Summary: Team 141 stumbles upon y/n. Thinking that she’s small and fragile they attempt to ‘take advantage’ of her only to figure out she’s a polar bear hybrid. (Polar bear hybrid was chosen because they actively hunt humans.)

Team 141 had relocated, their base stationed in colder weather. Soap didn’t mind, considering he was merged with a wolf. He quite liked the snow and throwing snowballs at his captain.

Price was not amused at all. Given the fact that he was a grizzly bear hybrid his instincts told him to get ready to hibernate. Thus, leaving the male annoyed most of the time. A few times he almost lunged at Gaz for flying around so much in his little ‘battle’ with soap.

Gaz, being a harpy was the most human like out of all the men. The only thing that changed about him was his arms, meaning that the male usually stayed bundled up which in turn was given odd looks by ghost from time to time. But now ghost, an undead being began to get used to seeing his fellow teammate underneath two layers of clothing

Gaz was the first one to stumble upon you During one of his rounds he looked up from above, his eyes catching sight of you in the cold, crisp water. White, round ears were on top of your head. You must’ve been a panda hybrid. You didn’t seem dangerous at all.

A wicked grin crossed Gaz’s face. Swooping down, the sharp claws grabbing you. But before he could get far with you, you bared your teeth at him. Sharp canines covered in blood from your latest kill were flashed. Your sharp claws slashed his face before dragging him down into the water. Immediately your form switching making Gaz’s eyes widen in horror. Such a sweet, helpless looking girl was actually a polar bear hybrid. Your pupils dilated, jaws snapping at him as the beast seemed to foam at the mouth, getting ready to rip his throat out.

Price was the first to arrive, hearing Gaz’s screams and yells.

While Gaz was under you he saw a flash of brown. The harpy sitting up, wincing in pain at his broken leg but his eyes leaving the mangled leg and up towards the fight that was happening. The roars of both the bears attracting the attention of the rest of the team. Gaz has never seen price almost loose a fight before. Polar bears were already larger than grizzled bears but because you were a female you have a good two feet over him. Your fur was more adapted to the arctic waters but Price’s wasn’t, his movements were a tad bit slower than yours due to the below freezing temperatures. Just as the rest of team 141 arrived you were gone.

After the ‘fight’ Price scolded Gaz. Grumbling about how he shouldn’t have assumed what kind of hybrid you were. But based off of your human descriptions he didn’t blame Gaz for trying to snatch you up.

Price only had minor injuries. A couple of gashes and bruises. It would leave some scars but nothing too serious. On the other hand Gaz’s leg was broken. The gash on his face had left a nasty scar. Ghost only mocked the younger male, telling him to suck it up and to not do dumb shit.

Soap had the second encounter with you. After a few months Gaz was able to walk again. But Soap was to accompany him as they did their rounds.

“That’s her.” Gaz whispered, crouching down making Soap follow suit. The wolf hybrid peeking around the corner to see you. He couldn’t believe that you were the one that did all that damage. Granite it was in self defense but you looked so fragile and soft.

When y/n turned around she had a fish in her mouth. Her eyes immediately catching onto Soaps who had been careless when admiring y/n from a distance. Y/n’s gaze wasn’t threatening like what Gaz had described. She seemed curious.

Soap took this as a green light to fully come out. Gaz whispers to not falling on deaf ears. When soap began to get too close a growl came from y/n as she took a step back making her drop her fish. She had to look up at him, which she didn’t like.

After a few moments Soap gained her trust, picking up the dropped fish and slowly inching close to her. Y/n opened her mouth, taking the fish from his hand. Nuzzling her black button nose against his hand, a purr coming out of her but she stopped. A whiff of Gaz’s scent on Soaps hand making y/n pull away. “No! No, no, no! I’m friendly.” Soap exclaimed, putting his hands up. He needed to avoid all conflict. The only person that was able to take you down was captain price, he doubted that Ghost could take you down in your monster form. Soap knew he’d need to calm you down. Polar bears actively hunt humans, meaning Gaz and himself were on your lunch menu. But y/n only turned around leaving once more.

Now price’s encounter with you went a little bit different. The man went out to have a smoke. “That shit stinks.” A feminine voice came from behind Price. Turning around he seen your form crouched down, a wolf torn open in front of you. It was the same size as Soap in his monster form. Its guts spilled out, coating the white snow in its blood.

“Didn’t know you could talk.” Price muttered, breathing in the smoke from the cigar. His eyes taking in your form. You were fragile looking, just as Gaz said. Your big doe eyes could have fooled him.

Y/n didn’t respond, instead opting to rip out more chunks from the wolf with her jaws. Tearing into the predator that turned into her prey. “Ya’ hurt one of my men.” Price said loud enough for y/n to hear.

“That lousy excuse of a bird?” Y/n said as she ripped into the wolf. “Tell him to keep thinking with his dick. Maybe next time I’ll tear his throat open.”

Price chuckled, leaning back on the tree as he watched you eat. You were fiesty. The longer he stared at you the more the gears in his head turned. You had wide hips, perfect for carrying his cups. You looked healthy, a few scars hear and there but each one told a story.

Pushing himself off the tree he stalked towards you. A growl ripping through y/n’s throat as she make eye contact with Price.

“I ain’t gon take your food sweetheart.” Price said as he crouched down in front of you and your kill.

“I said that shit stinks. Put it out.”

“And if I don’t.”

“I’ll eat you before you can turn.”

The two looked at each other for a while. “I’m stronger and faster than you darlin’.”

“Not if I drown you in that water you won’t be.” Y/n shot back. Ah, so she’s caught on to his weakness. Price was considerably weaker in colder water temperatures. Especially if the waters were deep.

Needless to say, Price put out the cigar.

443 notes · View notes

thranduel · 8 months

Text

i don’t understand why people hate gale.

“he’s annoying” or “he talks too much” or “he’s too clingy and got offended when i was in a relationship” (which was a BUG, it takes two seconds to do some research before jumping to conclusions) are the most stupid reasons to actually hate a character.

he’s the one that has the warmest personality when you first meet him as well, so i just don’t get it?? i’m not saying you’re not allowed to dislike him, and this doesn’t apply to everyone, but SOMETIMES it feels like people just hop on a “hate bandwagon” because i see so many comments (especially on tiktok… where most of the people only started playing because it’s “trendy” now) about him that are the exact same as each other and it’s like people have lost the ability to think for themselves and form their own opinions after actually playing the game properly and learning about the characters.

so many people even go on about how it’s a turn off that he “doesn’t shut up about his ex”… like maybe actually continue playing the story to understand why it’s a significant conversation to have and why it’s a huge part of his character arc, and stop being weirdly bitter/jealous/annoyed when the man is also a VICTIM that has been manipulated and abused in a relationship with a massive power imbalance.

#gale #gale dekarios #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 #the amount of people that have the audacity to pick up an extremely intense fantasy roleplaying game with ->#extremely deep and complex well-written characters but then don’t even bother TRYING to get to know them and ->#instead just reduce them to things they’re not is SO unbelievably frustrating #like if you’re going to be lazy why pick up the game #if you lack basic media literacy and don’t understand a single thing about character analysis why are you even bothering ->#to talk about the characters #sorry if that’s harsh but it’s exhausting #and fyi i’m specifically talking about toxic people who constantly hate on characters without understanding them #people are obviously allowed to dislike characters but when you’re spreading things that aren’t even true it’s wild #like how can you talk when you DO NOT UNDERSTAND #don’t even get me started on the literal BUG #people are out here saying gale is an obsessed creep that won’t leave you alone and it wasn’t even supposed to happen #and it’s not even just people who hate characters it’s also ones who are weirdly obsessed but still lack reading comprehension #cough those astarion fans that sexualise him and treat him like an object #do you even know how much his character would despise hearing you talk about him that way #like come on now #my posts

90 notes · View notes

midnight-light · 2 months

Text

Pokemon Scarlet and Violet Characters AGAIN~!

So I decided to do ANOTHER character post, because I played through the DLC's not that long ago, so let's just dive right into this shall we~? (Pokemon Scarlet and Violet's; Teal Mask and Indigo Disk Spoilers ahead! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.) Starting with my new favourite character~! (Sorry not sorry Arven!) KIERAN

Where do I start???

Upon first meeting him, my inital impression was; 'Aww, adorable wet cat boi! He needs a hug!

Throughout the course of teal mask I began to feel REALLY bad because well...

How dare the game make me lie to that face-

I went into the DLC's practically blind, so his change in personality, while I saw it building up in Teal mask, still got me HELLA off guard in Indigo disk.

Like DAMN boi!

I personally really liked the idea of the theory of the toxic chain (Though I know it was not what actually happened in the game) twisting Kieran's desires, that might just be me though.

For those who might be curious...yes, yes I did use Ogrepon against Kieran.

The fact that he was so desperate to beat Juliana/Florian (Player Character) That he used a master ball to catch terapagos and then recklessly used the pokemon that he barely knew anything about... said something

I liked the overall character arc for Kieran (though I wish I could have given him a hug at the end when he apologized)

Definitely throwing him onto the therapy bandwagon with Arven though.

CARMINE

Moving on to Carmine, I...had a mixed first impression of her.

She agitated me at first, but I knew i was only looking at the surface so I didn't want to jump to conclusions

and damn was I glad that I didn't, she proved to be an enjoyable character.

She started to win me over when Kieran tells the player character, "Actually, she was tearin' the shed apart, trying to find a third mask for you before you got there..."

That finally tipped my dense brain off that she's not all mean and that she does care, just doesn't exactly show it in front of others.

she completely won me over when she told me I could sucker punch Drayton (I love him but sometimes I stg-)

When she was genuinely showing worry for her brother during Indigo disk I just kinda sat their like; "I did this, and I'm sad that I did this." regretti spaghetti was hitting hard.

She also paid witness to Kieran nearly DYING near the end of indigo disk, not to mention helping with battling terapagos... and so...

*Yeets her into the Therapy Wagon* That makes the therapy count four now. (I never mentioned this in my previous character posts but Arven and Penny are ALSO in the therapy bandwagon) Whose next?!

DRAYTON

This guy

THIS GUY.

Don't get me wrong, I love him as a character

But sometimes, SOMETIMES, I want to punch him.

For me at least, he's like the older sibling that LOVES to annoy the hell out of his younger siblings.

but I wont lie I was definitely giggling a bit under my breath when he swaggered up to Kieran and called him "Ex Champion"

It was like he'd been WAITING to say that in revenge for when Kieran beat him and dethroned him from his champion spot.

He is cunning and I love that to bits.

he knew EXACTLY what he was doing when he dragged you into joining the league club and getting you to challenge the elite 4 + Kieran.

"I've got a feeling you're trying to play puppet master." He was not just trying, he was playing puppet master rather successfully.

BRIAR

This may turn into a rant but here we go regardless!

At first, I thought; ah a professor, surely she must be pretty responsible!

and yeah at first she was decently responsible for the students she was in charge of.

Then I started getting near the end of indigo disk

Madam, I know that Kieran is a strong trainer, but also, let him mentally spiral in peace.

Also the fact that Kieran literally says this; "Ms.Briar can be so reckless sometimes... I feel like I always have to keep an eye on her."

Okay, mild concern is officially rising.

'Terrastrialize Terapagos' she says, Ah yes, let's terrastrialize this pokemon that was only JUST caught and we know nothing about, that's totally safe!

Now we're BOTH to blame for Kieran and Carmine requiring therapy!

Despite this I don't hate her

but GodDAMN she nearly gave me a stroke-

#gaming #pokemon violet #pokemon scarlett #pokemon kieran #rival kieran #trainer kieran #pokemon carmine #trainer carmine #drayton pokemon #elite four drayton #pokemon briar #briar pokemon #scarlet and violet #pokemon sv #the indigo disk #teal mask #Pokemon #pkmn #pokemon

27 notes · View notes

fanficimagery · 2 years

Text

Walk, Walk, Fashion Baby

Imagine coming home to Charming after years in New York and you have to tell your family what you do for a living.

Words: 9.6K Author's Note: Trigger warning for offensive language. Gemma says a slur word to her daughter who's dressed tomboy-ish.

Growing up with the Sons of Anarchy as your family, it was no wonder you grew up a tomboy. Your mother did everything in her power to get you into dresses and skirts, but when that failed she tried for anything form fitting. Your stepdad and brother were grateful you stood strong, and the only form fitting clothing you wore was a tank top beneath a large flannel that rarely came off.

Dating was a no-no, especially with your brother and his best friend just a couple grades above you, but it wasn't like you were interested in anyone at school anyway. Having bikers as family and friends skewed your taste in the opposite sex, but considering you were SAMCRO royalty, no one close to your age would ever look in your direction. All except Opie.

Opie Winston was the one boy who looked past your tomboy exterior, brushing off all the teasing from your brother and his future brothers when he would spend a little too much time with you, teaching you how to fix up cars. But all good things eventually came to an end when Jax and Opie dropped out of high school so they could finally prospect for the club. You stayed in school, drawing into yourself, and doing the best you could so you could get into a decent college.

The relationship between you and Opie practically became nonexistent, which you knew would happen but had hoped it wouldn't, and your mom was the only one who saw how it had hurt you. She tried to cheer you up by telling you that boys would come and go, but you shrugged her off and threw yourself into your studies.

So after applying for many grants and scholarships and using the money you had in a trust fund that your father had started since before you were born, you applied to colleges all over the US in hopes of landing a school with a decent nursing program. After all, the club could use all the help since they were constantly coming back to the clubhouse injured, and sooner or later Chibs' medical expertise would not be enough.

When you had gotten your acceptance letter to NYU, the Teller-Morrow household erupted into complete chaos. For the most part, your mother and Clay kept their cool, and it was Jax who blew up and told you you weren't going anywhere. You and Jax had never devolved into a screaming match, but that night you did. And then Gemma had jumped onto the bandwagon, threatening to disown you if you stepped foot outside of the state, but surprisingly it was Clay who calmed everyone down. He wanted to listen to your plans and after everyone had calmed down, you explained it to them.

Your mother and Jax weren't happy, but when Clay's mind was made up there was no changing it. He tried to figure out if there were other schools closer that could give you the education you needed, but you pleaded with him that you needed out of reach from the club. You had nothing against the Sons of Anarchy, hell you loved them all, but you needed to grow and do your own thing without them interfering. And after many promises to come home for the holidays and to return to Charming after you've earned your degree, Clay gave you his blessing to go.

Your mother and Clay threw you a big going away party that you spent outside on the picnic table once the croweaters started making their rounds. You had been excited to finally be able to get out of town, especially when Opie started seeing someone who wasn't club affiliated. According to Jax it was serious and the last thing you wanted to see was your crush happy with someone else.

Over the next few years, you kept your promise and made it home for the holidays. Each and every time your mother picked you up for the airport, she was always annoyed that you hadn't come back made over and sporting something fashionable. And the times you couldn't make it home, they reluctantly understood.

But now you were coming home for good and the only person who knew was your mother.

Walking out of the airport, wheeling two cases behind you, you find your ma waiting outside, perched on the hood of her black Cadillac. She catches sight of you, moving her sunglasses from her face to the top of her head. "Seriously, baby girl? You could have at least worn a pair of short shorts or something."

You laugh as you near, letting go of your suitcases to hug her. "Missed you too, ma. How's everyone?"

"Stuck in church. Figured we'd surprise them with your glamorous ass perched at the bar, but you seem to be stuck in baggy jeans and shirts."

As you pull away to grab your suitcases and stow them in the trunk of her car, you say, "You're the only one who has a problem with my wardrobe choices."

"Because Clay and Jax will happily go through life letting the club continue thinking that you never grew tits." You laugh and then walk over to the passenger door, opening it and dropping into the seat. "Baby, you're never gonna get yourself a man if you continue dressing like your brother," your mother then says from her seat behind the wheel.

"Ma," you laugh some more, "if a man doesn't want me in all my tomboy-ish glory, then is he really the man for me?"

Gemma hums as she drives, mumbles something beneath her breath, but then smiles when you ask her to repeat herself. Then the entire drive back to Charming, she fills you in about what the club's been up to since you were last in town.

Pulling up into the Teller-Morrow Automotive parking lot makes you giddy, and you readily climb out of your ma's car when she parks. There are a few people manning the garage, but they're members you were never close to. The clubhouse is empty, with the exception of a few croweaters milling about, and you readily head to the bar. You hop up on a stool, awaiting the end of church, and ask the croweater behind the bar for a soda.

A black cap sitting on the bar catches your attention and you grab it up, putting it on backwards so the words Reaper Crew run across your forehead.

Immediately your ma pulls it off and you huff at her. "No. You already look dyke enough. You're not wearing the cap."

"Ma," you whine. "Come on."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"If I lose the shirt will you let me have the cap?"

Your ma's eyes narrow before she looks you up and down. "You mean the flannel?"

"No, I'll need the flannel to keep Jax and Clay from wrapping me up and marching me out of the clubhouse. I'll lose the shirt, but keep the flannel left open."

"Huh. Let me see what you're working with first."

You roll your eyes as the croweater behind the bar chuckles, but you don't give her shit for laughing at you. You've seen her around before and she was one of the few decent ones. So standing, you strip out of your flannel and then pull your shirt off over your head. When you can see again, you see your mother appraising you. Beneath the shirt you wore a plain white tube top and the waistband of your Calvin Klein underwear are on display thanks to your jeans riding low on your hips.

"Huh." Gemma muses, eyes taking on a sparkling sheen. "So my daughter does have a bod." You shake your head at her as she hands you back the cap and you put it on backwards once again. Then picking up the flannel, you slide your arms through the sleeves and leave it unbuttoned as promised. "I wish you would show it off more."

"Why?" You reclaim your seat on the barstool, sipping your soda.

"Because you need to snag yourself a man and start popping out some grandbabies." You choke on your drink. "Your brother's a slut puppy and won't make me a grandma."

"Jesus Christ." You take the offered napkin from the bartender to wipe up the spewed soda and then start giggling. "Ma, no. Just no. I'm too young to ruin my body right now. You can start bugging me when I'm thirty."

"But-"

"Nope."

The chapel doors open, signaling the end of church, and you turn around in your seat. You plant your feet on the footholds of the stool, spreading your arms on either side of you along the bar top. Gemma turns on her own stool, crossing one knee over the other, ready to see everyone's reactions. A few Sons you're friendly with spot you first, but you're quick to raise a finger to your mouth to signify them to keep silent. They understand and move aside, stopping and waiting for Clay and Jax to take notice.

Opie, however, sees you before your family does and his eyes widen. "YN?"

Jax looks to his best friend who's staring right at you, and then follows his gaze. "Holy shit." Jax's astonished words clue in Clay to look forward as well and both their surprised expressions morph into one of elation. "You're home?"

"I'm home. For good." You smirk as you hop off your stool, accepting your brother's hug as he nears. "Skipped out on the big graduation ceremony since none of you were going to be able to make it, so they'll be mailing me my diploma."

"Why the hell didn't you say anything? We would've escorted you in."

You pull back and punch his shoulder. "Because I didn't want an escort. It's not a big deal."

"I beg to differ," Clay drawls. You face your stepdad, smiling wide at him and move to hug him. "Hey, baby girl. It's good to have you home."

"It's good to be home," you tell him. "I love New York, but there's just something about Charming and the MC. I've missed it so much."

"We've missed you too."

After Clay and Jax get their hugs in, you're fair game. Opie is the first to get his arms around you and you laugh as he practically engulfs you in his arms. Bobby and Chibs shove one another to hug you first, leaving you a giggling mess, and you fist bump Happy when you see him smirking at you. You walk over to Piney, kissing the old man's cheek before hugging him, and then swat at Tig when he wiggles his eyebrows at you as he glances at your chest. Juice is the only idiot to actually say something about the skin you're showing, but Jax swats him upside the back of his head.

You laugh as you hug Juice. "Missed you too, Juan Carlos. Now please stop ogling me before my brother takes you to the ring."

Juice blushes as he nervously chuckles. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right."

When you're back between Opie and your brother, the latter of who keeps trying to close your flannel, Jax finally gives up and says, "So you know what this means, right?"

"What?"

"A welcome home party."

"Oh no, Jax, I don't-"

"Hey everyone!" Jax suddenly shouts and you groan, letting Opie sling an arm around your shoulders so you can lean into him. "Since the princess of SAMCRO is back for good, we're having a party tonight!"

"Jesus Christ, Jackson," you mumble. "Now ma's gonna hound me until I wear something slutty."

Opie laughs as Jax looks back at you, shrugging. "What you're wearing right now is fine. Just lose the flannel," he says and then frowns as if he doesn't really like that idea.

"No thanks. I rather not have pervy hands accidentally brush up against me all night long." You grab both sides of the flannel then and shut it over your chest, crossing your arms over it. "Ma wouldn't let me keep the cap until I made a compromise. I lost my shirt, but I got the cap in return."

Jax reaches for the cap, yanking it off your head and putting it on his own. "There. Now go grab your shirt. The cap looks better on me anyway."

"Bitch." You laugh, but do as he's said.

Your mother grumbles as you pull your shirt back on, but quiets down when you leave your flannel behind the bar. She then grabs the keys to an Escalade and tells you to get your ass in the passenger seat. Though it's your party, you've still got to help do the shopping.

Hours later, you've got both your suitcases stored away in Jax's dorm while you freshen up. You've decided to change out of jeans since it was a little warm and decided a shower sounded pretty good as well. And since your ma clearly approved of a tube top, you decide to surprise her a bit more. So after you're done showering and mostly drying your hair, you pull on your bra and underwear before pulling on a plain white crop top and jean short overalls.

You put on the minimum amount of makeup on, tie a pair of black and white Converse onto your feet, and then grab a black beanie from your suitcase so you don't have to bother with your hair much. Then making sure you have your phone in your pocket, you head out into the front of the clubhouse.

"Oh my." Tig whistles appreciatively. "Who knew the princess had legs for days!"

"Damn! Is that what you've been hiding under all those sweats and baggy jeans?" Juice asks. Promptly it earns him a slap upside the back of his head. Again.

"Yeah, yeah. Get your fill of ogling," you say. "But the second any of you fucks touch, I'm cracking a bottle over someone's head."

Piney chortles from his seat at the bar, but only ends up in a coughing fit. You walk over to him and rub his back before kissing his temple. "Heya, sweetheart. How are you doing?"

"Real good, Piney," you tell him. "I missed home. Feels good to be back."

"It's good to have you back. Family's all complete again."

"Yeah. Now I just need to cross my fingers and hope St. Thomas has a spot for me on their staff so I don't have to find a job elsewhere."

Piney smiles. "You're a smart and beautiful young woman. St. Thomas would be stupid not to take you."

"Smart, yes," Jax says, coming up to your side and slinging an arm around your shoulders. "Beautiful, not so much."

"Fuck off," you laugh, elbowing your brother.

"Come on. Leave Piney alone and come join us. We want to hear all about the fabulous life you led in New York."

You groan and Piney waves you off, and you let Jax lead you to the couches where Opie, Happy and Juice are sitting. Your brother shoves you down onto the couch, right next to Opie, and he takes the spot on your other side.

Crossing one knee over the other, you stare at Happy and Juice opposite you. "Hiya, boys." Both smirk and you laugh, turning your head to look at Jax. "So what do you wanna know?"

"How hot are the girls in New York?"

"Ugh." You groan. "Seriously?" Jax smirks at you and you shake your head. "Nope. No way. It's time for you to settle down."

"What?!" He squawks and his brothers laugh.

"Did you know ma tried pimping out my vagina today?"

"Ugh. Don't say vagina." Jax grimace.

"Tough shit. If you can stick your tongue in it, the word can be said aloud. Vagina, vagina, vagina." From your other side, Opie chokes on his beer, as does Juice. Happy is actually living up to his name tonight, grinning all the while. "Anyway, ma said she wants grandbabies. So while I was behaving up in New York for school, it's time for you to pass the baton. It's my time to be the slut puppy while you knock up some poor unfortunate soul so ma has a baby to spoil."

"Jesus." Jax rubs a hand down his face, laughing. "Not happening."

Juice chortles from the other side. "Slut puppy. Who even came up with that?"

"Ma. She said Jax is a slut puppy and won't give her grandbabies which is why she's now putting everything on my shoulders."

Opie nudges your arm with his elbow until he's got your attention. "You're too young. You need to have some fun first."

"Exactly!"

"Like hell," Jax grumbles. "We need to approve of any fun before the fun begins."

Your eyes roll. "If that were the case, then you'd have me shackled to a Son in a heartbeat."

He freezes and then glances at you, eyes quickly darting to your other side. You tense when you realize who he's looking at. "Would that be a bad thing?"

"Jax, I don't think-"

"Hey, everyone!" Clay suddenly calls out and the clubhouse goes quiet. "As all of you are aware, we here at SAMCRO love a reason to party and what better reason than SAMCRO's very own Princess returning to her rightful home?" Many cheers and whoops of elation ring out, and you sink into your seat. "Our baby girl YN is finally home!" More cheers. "Now let's remind her how we party so she doesn't want to leave us again."

Clay and Gemma walk over to you then, and you stand up so you can hug them both.

"Wow. I got to see your rack and legs in one day," your ma muses. Both you and Jax groan. "I'm loving this new you."

"Sometimes I wish I had a different mother."

"No you don't." Gemma grabs your chin between her forefinger and thumb, and pulls you in to kiss your forehead. You laugh as she turns towards the bar. "Prospect!" The adorable blonde behind the bar looks up, smiling a dimpled smile. "We need a round of beers over here."

Within moments the prospect has a tray of beers for your entire group.

Grabbing yours, you salute the prospect. "Thanks, Half-Sack."

Half-Sack stutters and everyone watches in amazement as he turns redder and redder. Your ma ends up taking pity on him and sends him back to the bar. Then smirking, you turn around and reclaim your seat.

"Hell no," Jax tells you. You glance at him and he shakes his head. "The prospect does not meet the criteria. You're not sleeping with him."

"Agreed." You clink the neck of your bottle to his. "Definitely too scrawny for me. I'd break him before the real fun even began."

Opie chokes on his beer, and both you and Jax laugh at your friend's misfortune.

Your ma reaches down, squeezing your shoulder. "'Atta girl. Keep your standards high."

"And on that note," Clay sighs, "you kids have fun."

Your ma laughs as she follows her husband and you settle in with your brother and friends again.

For the next couple of hours, the boys regale you with tales of the shit they've been up to while you were away. They boo you when you tell them you only attended a handful of parties the entire time you were away, but completely understood when you told them frat boy parties had nothing on the clubhouse parties you were so used to attending. They expected some scandalous stories, but unfortunately the only scandalous story you had was getting into a fight at a club when you caught some douchebag trying to lace another girl's drink.

Eventually, you start to take notice of more than a couple of croweaters glaring at you. Then finishing off your fourth beer, you lean forward and set it on the table.

"Well it's been fun catching up, boys, but I think it's time I go bother someone else so the party favors can have their wicked ways with you."

Opie snorts as you stand, but grabs your wrist and tugs you back. Suddenly unsteady, you fall into his lap. He laughs. "You okay there, princess? I don't remember you being so easy to topple."

You glare at him. "Well that's what happens when you give up alcohol while away. I wasn't about to let my guard down without my boys around."

You move until you're sitting sideways on his lap, one arm going around his shoulders while the other stays in your lap. You cross your ankles, kicking at Jax when he tries to shove your feet off the cushion.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd have thought you and Ope were siblings," Juice says. "You two look related, especially since you're wearing matching beanies."

You and Opie both whip your attention to Juice, scowling. Happy splutters on his beer at your expressions and Jax guffaws. "Jesus. You should see your faces right now." You continue scowling and Jax shakes his head at you.

"Whatever." You pull off your beanie and whip it at Juice who catches it, laughing.

"Well as fun as it is watching you two dance around each other, I got my eye on one of those so-called party favors," Jax muses, standing up.

He ruffles your hair as he passes and you swat at him. "Enjoy your slutty puppy days while they last, Jackson!"

"I will!"

Happy and Juice are left with you and Opie, but after arching a perfectly plucked eyebrow at Happy, the Son in question rolls his eyes before standing up and grabbing Juice by the neck of his shirt to drag him away with him. Juice squawks as he was mid-sip of his beer, and you and Opie laugh at his misfortune.

"And then there were two," you say. Opie smirks at you and you don't bother to attempt to move. After all, you can feel his thumb tucked into the back pocket of your overalls. "So how've you been, Ope?"

"Can't complain." He shrugs. "And you?"

"Better than ever." You lazily smile at nothing in particular as he hums. "Getting out of Charming was the best thing I could have done. No offense," you say when he huffs. "But I'm so glad to be back now. I missed everyone."

"Yeah? Even me?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I miss you?"

"I dunno, princess, maybe because those last two years before you took off you avoided me."

You grimace. "Well you and Jax had girlfriends, and I was pushed to the back burner there for a while. I knew I wanted to leave for college, so I had to start becoming independent."

"You weren't pushed to the backburner." Opie frowns.

"I hate to break it to 'ya, Winston, but I was. I became the annoying little sister and the girlfriends didn't like me much." You shrug. "I didn't want to cause issues so I kept my head down and threw myself into school."

"What are you talking about? Tara adored you."

You scoff. "You're joking, right? Tara hated me! Donna too." Opie looks at you as if you've grown another head. "Both your girls hated the club and the club runs through our veins. They didn't understand how I could be so supportive of it and they didn't like it when I told them to fuck off about speaking with you and Jax about not prospecting."

Opie's hand leaves your back, resting on the skin of your waist. "They really told you to tell us not to prospect?"

"Yeah." You squirm a little as his fingers light ghost your waist up and down. "I hated that Tara broke Jackson's heart, but I was glad to see her leave. That was the best thing to ever happen to my idiot brother."

"Yeah." Opie sighs and takes a sip of beer, staring ahead. "You know Donna and I only lasted a couple of years before we called it quits? I didn't know she hated the club as much as she did. If you had said something, you could have saved me a shit ton of trouble."

You chuckle. "Sorry. Maybe next time I'll vet the girl before you try to slap a crow on her."

"Nah." Opie finishes off his beer, setting the bottle aside. "I'm done with girls who don't understand the MC life. I'm not gonna risk dating another Donna." Your heart thuds in your chest and your stomach churns with butterflies. God, this man hasn't made you nervous since you were just a teen. "So what about you?"

"Huh?"

Opie chuckles, obviously figuring out your mind was elsewhere. "What was the dating life like in New York?"

"Ugh." You groan and suddenly wish you had another beer.

"That bad?"

"It was absolutely pathetic," you admit and he laughs. "Don't get me wrong, I had a little bit of fun, but none of them were interesting enough for a callback."

"Not even a booty call?"

You bark out a laugh, putting a hand on Opie's face and pushing him away. "Please never say booty call ever again." Opie's entire body shakes with muffled laughter. "Now come on," you say while standing up and pulling on his hand, "let's go hustle some idiots at the pool table. It's been a while since I've done so."

Over the next few days, you fall into a routine of helping out your mother down at TM. She loves the help, especially since it's from you, and she also loves that she has a front row seat to whatever's going on between you and Opie. Your friendship had picked right back up from what it was like pre-Donna, though it was a little different now that you both were adults.

When Opie wasn't working in the garage or busy with club business, he was hovering nearby and waiting for you to finish what you were doing so he could have your attention. Jax would have been offended if he weren't so amused by his best friend following his baby sister around like a lost puppy. It was just like old times, instead it was Opie following you instead of you following him.

Then as it turned out, St. Thomas didn't have an opening at the moment, but they did have a nurse retiring in the upcoming months. They asked you to send in your résumé and that they would take a look at it when they needed to fill the position.

Fortunately for you and your bank account, nursing wasn't your only job. But the job in question was something you weren't sure how the men in your life would feel about it. Your mother, on the other hand, would love it. It would be like Christmas come early for her when you told her, and unfortunately you had to tell her. Soon.

There was a photoshoot coming up that you'd been asked to pose for, and you immediately agreed. Especially when you saw the outfits. But you didn't exactly know how to break it to the entire family about what you did, so you asked your mother if she wanted to head down to Los Angeles with you. When asked what business you had down there, you told her you just wanted a mother/daughter day with her. She seemed skeptical, but ended up agreeing when you mentioned it was your treat. Clay, however, wanted to send a protection detail with the two of you.

The night before, you and Clay were still debating who the protection detail would consist of. You caved and told him you didn't care, so long as it wasn't Jax, Tig or Juice. Your stepdad had seemed like he wanted to question why you didn't want those three, but shrugged it off and told you you'd just have to deal with Opie and Happy watching your backs then.

The following morning, dressed in a crop top that displayed Sons across your chest and black leggings with your hair tied up in a loose and messy bun, Gemma wondered what kind of day she was in for with you dressed like you had just rolled out of bed. She wanted you to doll yourself up a bit more, but after promising her that she'd understand your lack of an appropriate outfit soon enough, she climbed into her Cadillac and waited until your escorts were ready to roll.

Gemma drove while you answered emails in the passenger seat, and Opie and Happy followed behind on their motorcycles. It was a five hour drive and the boys had been a bit disgruntled to learn they were just watching over you doing some girly shit for hours on end.

"So what's all the way in Los Angeles that you're so excited to drag me to? Is it a spa or some shit? We could have done that in Lodi or someplace closer."

You chuckle nervously. "It's not that kind of mother/daughter day."

"No? Then what are we doing?"

"I am working," you say. "You are watching."

Your mother scoffs before she glances at you. "Are you shittin' me? You pulled me out of Charming just so I could watch you play nurse? YN!"

"No." You laugh. You shake your head, giggling, and then face your mother. "Ma, you've seen my bank account. Did you really think I made all that money just by being a nurse?"

Her attention is torn between you and the road. She takes a moment to think about it. "You in the sex industry? That why you refused your brother tagging along?"

"No. We're actually headed to a photoshoot."

Her eyebrows raise in surprise. "You're a photographer or something?"

"Or something," you muse. Your phone beeps in your hand and you smile at your mother. "No more questions. It's a surprise, but I promise it's a surprise you'll love. I wanted you here because I felt you'd be most excited for this. Now if you'll excuse me, I got more work shit to answer."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hours later, Gemma's parked outside a nondescript brick warehouse. Happy and Opie park on your side, and you and your ma get out. As she walks around to join the three of you, the boys glance up at the building.

"Looks sketchy," Happy says.

"What exactly are you ladies doing today?" Opie wonders.

"That's what I'd like to know." Gemma crosses her arms over her chest, arching an eyebrow at you.

You sigh. "Fine. We're not doing that whole mani/pedi thing like you boys were scared of. I'm actually here for a photoshoot."

Opie and Happy turn to face you, and you squirm under their stares. Your ma smiles. "What kind of photoshoot?"

"The kind that would have Jax going into overprotective brother mode, and Tig and Juice perving on the others."

Opie and Happy frown, and Gemma's smile widens. "Baby, what aren't you saying?"

You groan. "I'm one of the models. I'm not the photographer."

"And? That doesn't explain why Jax would go into overprotective brother mode."

You wrinkle your nose and sigh. "It's for Victoria's Secret."

Your ma's eyes widen, but the smile stays in place. "You model lingerie? My sweet, little tomboy models lingerie?"

"Yes." Glancing at Opie and Happy, you see Opie torn between being annoyed and ecstatic, and Happy's just full blown smiling. "I don't know why you're happy," you tell him, "you're on the clock. No perving on my coworkers." He shrugs, his smile falling some, and you chuckle. "Inside there's gonna be a lot of women walking around in their underwear and possibly nude. No one cares if you look, but don't be caught staring. This isn't Cara Cara."

"This is a classy establishment. We got it," Gemma says. "Can we go in now? I need to see what they're putting you in."

"Yeah, yeah. Let's go."

Gemma links arms with you, letting the boys follow at your back.

Inside the warehouse, it's cooler than it is outside and you exhale with relief. The two-story warehouse has been gutted, as have a majority of the second floor since you can see the obvious glaring hole in the middle of what would have been the ceiling. Some tented rooms have been erected for some privacy, but everyone in the business is comfortable no matter what.

As flashes go off and the photographers call out different poses and what not for the models, you can hear Opie swear softly under his breath. You grin and look over your shoulder, and though Happy's expression is neutral enough, you can detect a hint of a sparkle in his eye as he looks around.

"Where we going, baby?" Gemma asks, looking more ecstatic than you've ever seen her.

"My dressing room is gonna be this way."

You lead the small group towards the right of the warehouse, finding a tented room with your name taped to the outside. When you step inside, you're not surprised to find your usual make-up and hair stylists in there already.

"YN!"

Both females- one with purple hair and piercings (Niylah) and the other brunette with a bit of a shy aura about her (Odette) greet you with smiles. You kiss their cheeks in greeting, then introduce them to your family. "Girls, I'd like you both to meet my ma Gemma. And the two looming bikers behind us are Opie and Happy."

Niylah smiles and winks, and Odette tries her best to not appear uncomfortable.

"Don't worry about them," Gemma says, catching on to Odette's unease. "They're just our protection detail. Totally harmless unless someone tries to mess with us."

Niylah arches an eyebrow at you. "Protection detail? What the hell have you been up to since we last saw you?"

"Nothing." You laugh. You hand your phone off to your ma, grab a silk robe from a chair, and then walk behind a privacy curtain to undress and then redress in your chosen outfit. "I told you guys I grew up in an MC. I just left out the tiny detail that I was- am, sort of- the club's princess."

"Baby girl doesn't go anywhere without at least one Son watching her back."

You roll your eyes as you step out from behind the curtain, securing the belt around your waist to keep your robe closed until it is time to show your outfit. "And since the queen and princess are out and about, we get two Sons following us."

"Girl, you are living the dream," Niylah muses. "Now take a seat. I need to get started on your makeup while Odie does your hair."

"Yes, ma'am."

Opie and Happy each find chairs to occupy while Gemma perches on the vanity desk to watch Niylah work her magic. The two hit it off as if they were long lost friends, and you roll your eyes when you catch Odette's gaze in the mirror. She giggles and then gets back to work.

"So have you showed your ma what you'll be wearing?" Niylah asks.

"Nope."

Gemma sits a little straighter. "You knew this entire time and you didn't tell me?!"

"I wanted it to be a surprise." You chuckle. "It's not lace or risqué," you tell her, "but it is something I think even the boys will appreciate."

"Well come on. Let me see."

You smirk as you slowly untie your belt, fighting off a blush when you see Opie squirm in his seat. Letting your robe fall open then, you practically preen under your ma's approving stare. Your red and black plaid underwear have silver studs sewn all around the waistline and leg holes, and show off some generous cheek in the back once you let the robe completely fall. The red and black plaid bralette has silver studs sewn in around the band under your bust, and several black straps cupping your cleavage before clasping behind your neck.

"Holy shit," Gemma muses as she looks you up and down. "How the hell do you look like this and dress like one of the boys back home?"

"I'm not gonna parade around the clubhouse in my underwear and be mistaken for a croweater," you say. "And besides, I like to be comfortable. None of the guys care about what I wear."

"You know this isn't going to stay a secret for long, right?"

"Yeah. I mean I can trust Happy to keep his mouth shut, but I'm not sure about Opie." You glance over your shoulder and arch an eyebrow at him when you catch his stare a little lower than you had anticipated. You roll your eyes and Happy snorts at his brother being caught staring at your ass. You turn back around to face your mother. "Besides, you'll tell Luanne and she'll slip up. I'll let Clay and Jax know soon."

"Hey YN, we need to get you into your shoes now," Odette says.

"Okay."

Niylah brings your shoes out and Gemma's eyes light up. They're black and plaid as well, but with six inch heels and they lace up all the way to mid-thigh.

"Oh honey, we are definitely going shopping one of these days and you're getting an entirely new wardrobe."

"If you say so, ma."

You sit in your chair and let your stylists put your shoes on you, each of them tightening the laces as they work their way up towards your thighs. Then when they're done, you stand up to make sure nothing pinches.

"Alright," you say, addressing your family. "So you guys can come watch, but I don't wanna hear a peep out of any of you. The photographer knows what he's doing. Don't say shit to piss him off or get kicked out."

"Deal. Let's go." Apparently your ma is more than ready to see you work.

Niylah and Odette wish you luck, and your family follows after you.

Opie and Happy follow behind Gemma, glancing here and there while being careful to step over the many wires taped to the ground.

"And here we thought this job was going to be fuckin' dull," Happy mutters.

Opie huffs a laugh. "This is a trip, man. I didn't know- I didn't think YN would be into shit like this."

"People change, brother. Just be glad your girl chose to model underwear rather than ask aunt Luanne for a job."

Opie snorts and shoves his friend lightly. It was no secret among the Sons that Opie realized his feelings for SAMCRO's princess too little too late, and now that she was home everyone was waiting to see what would happen between the two. So far, everyone was greatly amused by the way the two of them danced around each other while trying to remain unaffected by the other.

Opie snaps back to attention when YN greets her photographer with kisses to the cheek. There are three other females, dressed similarly to YN in underwear that was edgier than the normal lingerie. The photographer looks at Gemma, then at Opie and Happy a little warily, but after reassurance from YN he relaxes.

The photoshoot is apparently a group session and they watch from the sidelines as YN and the other girls line up against a wall that holds artsy graffiti. The photographer tells them to just have fun with it, so there's a hip cocking this way and then cocking the other way as the man behind the camera snaps away.

YN places a hand in hair, briefly ruffling it while looking to the side, and the girl next to YN laughs. Soon all the girls are caught laughing on camera, and then the photographer has them take pictures one by one.

There are a pair of wings spray painted on the wall and each girl stands in front of it, taking a few pictures each. Then there are a few other pictures taken of the girls leaning on brick pillars, and by the time the photographer is calling it a wrap, an hour has passed.

Each girl is handed a robe and thanked for their time, and then YN is being tucked under Gemma's arm before she leads the way back to her dressing room.

"Baby, that was so good!" Gemma gushes. "Where are these pictures being published? I'm gonna need to buy whatever magazine they end up in."

"Some of these pictures will end up in the lingerie catalog while others are shipped off to every Victoria's Secret store to be hung up as artwork."

Niylah and Odette are waiting for you in your dressing room, but before they can start removing anything, Gemma stops them. "Hold on. Do either of you girls have a camera? Like one of those professional ones."

Odette shyly raises her hand. "I have one in my backpack. I take pictures when I'm out and about."

"Good. Do you mind taking a picture of me and my gorgeous daughter before she strips out of this cute little outfit she's got on? I need proof of this day."

"S-Sure."

"Ma," you groan, embarrassed. Opie and Happy chuckle.

Odette quickly grabs her camera while Niylah touches up your makeup, and then you're standing side by side with your mother- her arm around your shoulders while yours is around her waist. Then Gemma calls for Happy and Opie to get in, and Opie stands on your other side while Happy stands with your mother. You can't help but laugh, staring up at Opie and shaking your head in amusement when you hear Odette snapping away.

Sorry, you mouth at him.

Opie grins down at you. "S'alright."

"Hold on!" Niylah perks up, eyes gleaming. Everyone looks at her, but she only has eyes for you and Ope. "I don't know how a motorcycle club works, but is it a no-no for someone else to wear your.. vest?"

"It's called a kutte, Niy," you muse. "And it is a no-no unless the owner of the kutte approves of it. I think."

"I think at least one of my boys wouldn't mind offering up their kutte for a personal picture," Gemma says. "What'd you have in mind?"

Niylah smirks as her gaze bounces between you and Opie, and you mentally groan. She's definitely picked up on something between you and your favorite Son. "I'm picturing YN with the kutte on, sitting backwards on a chair with her back to the camera and-"

"Done. Opie, give YN your kutte."

"Ma!" Opie laughs as you admonish your mother, but shrugs out of his kutte anyway. You look at him, shaking your head. "Ope, you don't have to do that."

"Nah. I wanna," he says and you hesitantly take his kutte in hand. "I'm curious as to what this pic is gonna look like."

You narrow your eyes at him, grumbling, and he smiles even wider. Shrugging into the kutte, Niylah quickly grabs you a chair and sets it down. "Alright, sweetheart, now you're gonna straddle this chair backwards." You do as you're told. "Good. Now spread your legs a little wider, but keep your heels planted."

"What about having her run her hand through her hair, partially holding it up while looking to the side so we can capture the back of the kutte on camera?" Odette suggests.

"Yes!" Niylah cheers. "Odette, you're a genius."

You follow your friends' direction and let Odette snap a few more pictures. But the moment Gemma suggests Opie strip off his shirt and get in there, you're up out of your seat in a heartbeat. "And that's enough. I'm not getting paid for these and we're not having Opie strip." You nervously laugh and then rush behind the privacy curtain to change back into your regular clothes.

From the other side of the curtain, you hear Gemma giving her email to Odette so she can email her the pictures as soon as possible while Niylah attempts to chat up the boys.

Then walking out from behind the curtain back in your own crop top, leggings, and sneakers, you thank your girls for everything. You leave the makeup and hair as it was, figuring it'd lead the boys into thinking you caved and let Gemma convince you to get a makeover.

You lead the way outside afterwards, calling out your goodbyes along the way. Then once you're standing by your mom's vehicle, you turn and face the crowd of three.

"Not a word. To anyone!"

Opie and Happy crack grins, nodding in agreement easily. Your ma, however, smirks. "Baby, they're gonna find out."

"I know, but I wanna be the one to tell them."

"When?"

"I don't know."

Gemma chuckles. "You better do it fast because Odette's editing those pictures of you in Opie's kutte for me as we speak. I'm having one of them blown up to hang on the wall at home."

"Jesus Christ," you grumble. "Why do you have to be so embarrassing?"

"You should be proud," Opie says, stepping up to your side and tucking you under one of his arms. "Those pictures came out good."

"So good." Gemma agrees. "I might even have some made to hang around the clubhouse."

"No!" You and Opie simultaneously say.

Happy snorts as he walks to get on his bike and your ma looks incredibly proud. You roll your eyes and then swat at Opie. "Get on your damn bike. I want food and then the comfort of my bed before I have to break it to Clay and Jax gently about what I do on the side for cash."

"Don't even sweat it, baby," Gemma says. "Clay's going to be incredibly proud and your brother will get over it. He might want to be on protection detail from now on if you have more of these photoshoots, but that's it."

"Yeah right." You scoff. "The last thing I need is Jax flashing those pretty blues of his and fucking all my friends." You shake your head. "Not happening. That was the exact reason why I didn't want Tig or Juice coming."

"Good luck with that," Gemma muses. "Now seriously, let's get going. I'm starving too."

It's been a couple of days since you let your mother in on your secret side job. Opie and Happy had kept their word, not mentioning anything about the modeling gig, but Gemma was in too good of a mood around you that it made Clay and Jax suspicious. You were going to have to tell them sooner rather than later.

But as of right now, you were more interested in grabbing a shower. It was Friday, which meant there was a party later that night at the clubhouse, and you had promised Gemma to dress up a little. Not much, but enough to convince the visiting members of the Tacoma charter that you were indeed a girl.

Towel wrapped around your body, you walk out of the bathroom and head for your bedroom. Only the second the door is opened, you nearly yelp in surprise when you spot Opie sitting on the corner of your bed.

"Jesus fuck, Ope," you mumble, stepping in and shutting the door behind you. "Warn a girl next time."

Opie sits there in a plain black shirt and his jeans, hair loose from its usual confines of a beanie. It looks like he too had a shower not too long ago. "You coming tonight?" He asks, voice all rumbly and sending a shiver down your spine.

"Mhm." You gulp and head for your dresser, grabbing a bottle of lotion to use on your hands and arms. "Why? What's up?"

Opie's quiet as you work lotion into your skin. "Go with me."

"Hmm?" You'd heard him loud and clear, but the words had surprised you.

"Go with me. And not just as Jax's little sister or SAMCRO's princess. Go as mine."

Your gaze snaps to Opie, mouth slightly parted in surprise. He slightly smiles at you and then once your brain has rebooted, you huff a laugh. "So all it took was you seeing me in bra and panties, huh?"

"No. I've known I had feelings for you right after you left for college, but you were gone and I was still with Donna. That's another part of the reason why things didn't work out with her. She wasn't you."

You stare at Opie, brain needing yet another reboot before your feet carry you over to him. He sits a little straighter, spreading his knees a little more as you stand between them. Your lips twitch as you stare down at him and you place your hands on his shoulders. "Do you think Jax will be an issue? I know he teases us all the time, but-"

"He already gave his blessing," Opie muses. "Actually, he's the one who reminded me Kozik was coming down and that I needed to do something less that asshole hit on you all night."

"So you're staking your claim now, huh?"

"Might as well. Everyone's gonna know either way once your ma hangs up that photo of you in my kutte."

Your nose wrinkles at the thought of your mom showcasing the photo and Opie chuckles. To shut him up, you lean down and snap your teeth near his mouth. His eyes widen and he seems to hold his breath. Smiling, you lean back in and brush your nose against his before pressing your lips to his briefly. Opie gulps and it's your turn to chuckle. "We're only doing this on one condition, Winston."

"Name it."

"No more croweaters. Here or on the road," you tell him. "I can deal with you handling club business at odd hours, but I can't deal with being with someone who can't keep it in his pants."

"S'fine. I only want one pussy anyway." You grin wickedly at him then, pressing your lips harder against his. Opie lets you lead the kiss, his hands going to your waist as you push him back and then climb onto his lap, one knee on either side of his hips. He groans and you take his bottom lip between your teeth, tugging on it as you lean back. "What are you doing?"

"Don't worry, babe. We're not fucking. Not yet at least," you tell him and then quickly peck his lips once more.

"Then what are you doing?"

Your right hand, which had slid up to rest against the side of Opie's neck, slides a little towards the front of his neck. You use your thumb to press up against the underside of his jaw and make him tilt his head back. "Marking my territory. Riding bitch with you to the clubhouse won't keep the party favors at bay, but hopefully a necklace of hickies will."

Opie's laugh turns into a groan the second your teeth sink into the flesh of his neck and his hands tighten on your waist. "Fuck. I can't mark you back, can I?"

"Not this time," you tell him, panting against his neck as you find a new spot to lick and suck. "I got booked for a runway show back in LA since a few of the models had to drop out."

"Fuck. I've never loved and hated a job at the same time."

"You and me both."

No one was surprised when you showed up on the back of Opie's bike, but they were a little surprised by your show of possessiveness. Opie, however, loved every second of it.

The runway show was just a couple days away and you had been given five tickets for your family. Gemma had claimed two for herself and Clay, Opie claimed another because there was no way he was missing his girl strutting her shit, which left you with two extra tickets. You had a terrible feeling Jax was going to want to go, but you had no idea who would duke it out for the last one.

Oh well, they could take it to the ring if they wanted to go that bad. Winner takes the ticket.

You still hadn't told everyone that you modeled part time and were struggling with a way to do so when your mom suggested a family dinner. Let everyone you considered family know at once instead of doing it little by little. And though you wanted to let your stepdad and brother know before anyone else, you were tired of working up the nerve, only to chicken out at the last second. So you agreed to the family dinner.

But after dinner was served and everyone was sprawled in a chair out in the backyard, you still hadn't found the nerve. At least, not until you saw your ma walking out of the back door with two large squares wrapped up in brown paper. Portraits, your mind supplied. Your ma has portraits.

"Whatcha got there, Gem?" Tig asks when he sees her.

Your ma's sparkling eyes dart to you and you quickly jump up from your seat next to Opie. "I, uh, I have something to tell you guys!"

"You're pregnant!" Juice exclaims and you shoot him the dirtiest look you can muster.

"Fuck off. Don't jinx me with that bullshit right now." Everyone laughs and then you take a moment to gather your thoughts. "It's nothing bad, so please stop looking so worried, Chibs."

"Can't help it, lass. I worry about 'ya sometimes."

"Thanks. But, uh, I actually need to tell you about my side job."

"Why?" Jax frowns. "Are you a porn star?" He then winces. "Please don't tell me you're a porn star."

"Ew. No. Why would I wanna risk Tig finding that shit?" Everyone laughs again, especially when Tig shrugs. It was no secret the man loved porn. "I just want to warn you about what I do before ma shows you because I have a feeling I know what those portraits in her hands are."

"You can bet your sweet ass they are," Gemma says. "Your friend Odette came through for me. I owe her."

You sigh and suddenly everyone is looking curiously at you. Everyone except Opie and Happy who don't bother hiding their amused expressions.

"You boys know?" Clay asks.

Opie nods. "Gemma's new artwork is from that day you put us on their protection detail. It was no spa day like everyone assumed it was."

"Then what was it?"

"I model!" You blurt and then your eyes widen. The backyard goes quiet. You exhale, shoulders sagging. "A modeling agency took interest in me while I was in New York. Victoria's Secret picked me up and I model. For them."

Juice splutters on his beer. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." Gemma's like a kid on Christmas as she rips open one of the portraits, a smirk sliding into place. As she turns it around, she says, "My baby girl is fucking hot and I've never been more proud of her."

You groan when the picture in question is of you in plaid underwear, standing against the brick wall with wings painted on behind you.

"Holy shit!" Juice exclaims and you walk around to stand behind Opie. He chuckles at your discomfort.

"How did you even get that picture?" You ask your ma.

"The photographer liked one of the pictures from our private photo session in your dressing room, so he asked if he could keep one for a future spread. I agreed and in return he gave me this one."

"Which one?"

"This one." She lets the first portrait lean against Clay's chair and opens up the second one. It's the one of you straddling the chair, knees spread and wearing Opie's kutte, hand in your hair and the side of your face visible. "I told him he had to edit out anything related to our MC, for obvious reasons, and he agreed."

All is quiet until Jax opens his mouth and says, "I hate that this is my baby sister, but I gotta admit that picture with Opie's kutte is fuckin' amazing."

There are several mumbles of agreement.

"How'd you know it was Opie's?" You ask.

"Please." Your brother scoffs. "First of all, I don't see Happy volunteering his." The man in question shrugs. "And secondly, this is visual proof of Opie staking his claim. I bet he readily agreed for you to wear it."

"He did." Gemma laughs.

You rest your hands on Opie's shoulders, but he grabs you by one wrist and drags you until you're standing in front of him. He quickly pulls you down into his lap, letting you curl up there. "Whatever. I have a fashion show coming up, but I only have five tickets. Ma already claimed two, Opie another-"

"As your brother, I get one."

"Fine. Jax gets the fourth which leaves only one extra." Immediately Juice and Tig glare at one another, and you shake your head at them. "I'm not choosing so all you idiots get to take it to the ring. Winner takes the last ticket to a Victoria's Secret runway show."

Bobby grumbles about not being young enough to enter the ring anymore, leaving Juice and Tig and Chibs looking quite smug about their chances. At least they're smug up until Happy voices he'll be stepping into the ring.

Jax laughs as Juice pales. "Good luck there, brother. I don't think Happy's gonna take it easy on any of you."

You chuckle as you lay your head on Opie's shoulder. "Fuck. He's gonna kill them all, isn't he?"

"Probably. He seemed to have his eye on that purple-haired stylist of yours."

"Of course he does," you mumble.

You glance around at your gathered family, the weight that had been pressing down on your shoulders now gone. Your family took your modeling career fairly well and you couldn't have asked for a better reaction.

#opie winston x reader #opie winston imagine #sons of anarchy imagine #soa imagine #sons of anarchy #opie winston #gemma teller morrow #happy lowman #jax teller #clay morrow #juice ortiz

965 notes · View notes

pashminalamb · 1 year

Note

Yandere Rin with an affectionate fem!reader friend for now who likes to hug her friends as a form of greeting, fighting his urge to tug you away from Isagi who's hugging you back affectionately with friendly intentions Then, you asked Rin for consent to hug him as affectionately (even more affectionately than those pathetic people you hugged before him, he likes to think) as well. Rin let out a grunt. The moment you closed the gap between the two of you, it caused him fighting his urge to wrap his arms around you so tight, claim you, isolate you... ANYTHING. Just to have you right here, right now by his side forever. Yet, he didn't do anything. He just stood there, pretending to be annoyed (a "tch" escaped from his tongue but you just took it as his usual tendency due to his personality causing you to laugh) but he lets you hug him in the end.

Then you moved to hug his other teammates like Bachira and Rin has to suffer again from jealousy again--- sigh... Seriously... Don't you even know that every single time you hug people in front of him is counted to his list of times to edge you in bed when he finally lured you successfully to his penthouse???

wc : 470

Ratings : 18+, mdni

Warnings : posessiveness, bondage, yandere!rin, edging, cunnilingus, taunting, pussy slapping, thigh spanking, blindfolds, mentions of mindbreak towards the end. Rin is 24 and a professional player.

(A/N) : Yandere rin seems to be the new bandwagon everyone's jumped on... so here we are. Hope you guys like it ik i did cause i had a field day with it This is a thirst and not request, but can be considered as a short fic as well. Do not copy, repost, edit, plagiarize or translate my work. Interactions, comments, reblogs and likes are welcomed!

If there is something yandere Rin does not like it is the fact of people touching something that is his, and his alone. He is indifferent to hugs when you give them to him, not wanting to look like a pathetic puppy waiting at the door for your attention. He wanted to be a normal lover for you, holding your hand or brushing the hair out of your face, but he couldn't for his ego wouldn't allow him. He hated it when his hugs- that he was so indifferent to, were directed at Bachira and Isagi, the pair flashing you with teethy smiles that would no doubt win over the heart of some girls. You were his and his alone and that was the day he vowed to not let anyone else touch you. It was a stroke of luck when you had agreed to a formal dinner at his penthouse with a few other selected teammates, the others leaving early while naive little you insisted on helping out in the kitchen. It didn't take long for things to escalate as Rin placed his hands on your hips, followed by the heavy makeout session pressing you into the kitchen counter until he had you bound to the headboard of his bedroom by the ties he had kept in his drawers, a blindfold covering your eyes, moaning and bucking your hips into his mouth as he licked and slurped at your pussy mercilessly, his strong arms circling around your thighs and holding them down. He had been dreaming about this and everything was falling into his plan. "Rin please- let me cum already... ahh" you begged as he shifted his head from side to side, adding more stimulus to your cunt. Not yet. Hearing a particularly high moan spill from your lips, he pulled back, fingers coming quickly to rub at your sensitive clit, making your thighs shake. "You thought you could go flaunting around what is mine?" he growled, slapping your inner thigh, making you whimper. "Isagi and Bachira would have loved to feel your tits against them when they hugged you. Pathetic fuckers must be getting off to that too at night Hm? But this." he said, giving a spank to your naked pussy, making you cry out. "This belongs to me. And I'll let you cum only when I feel like it. When you've been good enough to earn it." he said, tongue hanging out to let saliva drip on your exposed clit. 'Who do you belong to?' "You!" "Whose pussy is this?" "Yours!" "Will you ever get close to Isagi or Bachira ever again?" "NO!"

"Good girl." Edging you 9 times and you had already learnt your lesson. It was only time when he seized yet another opportunity, seeing you hand a bottle of water to Raichi. Was he going to have fun breaking you for his naive little lamb never seemed to learn her boundaries.

#belle.☏#.lost sheep : anon #belle.🥛#blue lock imagines #blue lock smut #blue lock x reader #blue lock x y/n #blue lock x you #itoshi rin imagine #itoshi rin x reader #rin itoshi x fem! reader #rin itoshi x reader #rin itoshi imagine #bllk x fem!reader #bllk imagines #bllk x reader smut

401 notes · View notes

symbioticsimplicity · 1 year

Text

This Idiot Has Seen Goncharov

So today marked the coalescence of the Goncharov Incident as I’ll be calling it, so I think it’s finally time to share.

For a bit of context, you need to know a little more about one of my co-workers. We’ll call him Zeke. First it’s important to note that despite being in his early thirties, Zeke doesn’t have any sort of social media accounts outside of a MySpace page. Dude has straight up been living like it’s still 2007. Zeke also has a fixation with my friend/roommate who also works with us. Zeke will hop onto whatever bandwagon this friend, who we’ll call Jesse, is on. But most importantly to this whole tableau, Zeke likes to tell tall tales, like no matter what you’re talking about, or what you’ve done, this guy has done it but bigger and crazier.

That alone would be annoying, but it wouldn’t be enough to push myself and Jesse to the level we’ve hit with him. For me, it’s the constant need to put other people down for ‘knowing less than he does’ despite the obviousness of his knowledge being a collection of poorly constructed lies. Like not only does he lie, but this dumbass doesn’t even bother to check into the things he lies about. Several times he’s tried to convince me of something in a subject I know everything about. He refuses to admit to being wrong and he won’t back down from anything he’s said, it’s infuriating.

For this, and quite a few other reasons transphobic cough cough augh, he’s been bothering Jesse and I for quite a while. Badly enough that the spite fueled wasp nest that lives in the back corner of my brain Morse coded a plan to me.

Goncharov.

What better way to trip up a ride or die compulsive liar than a piece of media well known for being entirely fictional?

The next day, when Zeke climbed into my car during our lunch hour, Jesse and I began talking about this old movie we’d recently watched. The two of us have known each other more than long enough to able to follow each other’s bullshit like second nature, we’ve played an assload of DND together. In ten minutes we’ve got the whole first arc talked out with a few of the “best scenes” highlighted. (Personal favorites being Andrey juggling guns “a la John Wick/Guns Akimbo” and Katya killing a man point blank after saying ‘Get Gonch’d bitch’ in a 1973 film.)

Zeke didn’t respond too much, just kind of nodded and ignored most of the convo since it wasn’t really about him. I didn’t really expect him to engage to start, he usually doesn’t, but we’d planned to keep this up for another couple days anyhow.

But like clockwork, the more Jesse talked about it, the more Zeke seemed to remember it. Enough that I jumped ahead a little and pulled up the faux movie poster to show him.

He squinted at it then nodded and said he’d definitely seen the movie before.

When I tell you I almost fucking screamed.

Of course he couldn’t remember many details because it had been so long since he’d seen it. To tell you the truth I’d checked out at that point, I was focused on not losing my shit, I have no fucking idea what he said.

While this was an entire meal served up on a silver platter, it would have been pretty easy to say he’d seen the poster somewhere despite not having socials. I want this man incinerated, not merely singed.

Which leads me to the events of the last couple days.

So Zeke came up to Jesse and I and told us he wanted to re-watch Goncharov and asked us if it’s on Netflix.

Jesse and I both said that it is, without hesitation.

Zeke went to look for it (at work, while we’re working no less, again I missed the rest of what he was saying here I was mentally biting him) and obviously found nothing. So he searched every other streaming platform he had, and Youtube, all once again coming up empty.

At this point, I was sure the jig is up. He was actually searching it now so obviously he’d find one of the search results letting him know Goncharov’s true nature. I’m fairly certain the first result for it on Google says that it’s fake.

Oh hoo hoo, no.

Zeke came to me to complain about not being able to find the movie and in a fit of clandestine fervor, I told him that we probably watched it on a pirating site.

It was beautiful, it was inspired, and it worked.

Zeke asked me for the site and I told him that I’d have to get it from our other roommate since she’s in charge of the tech in our house. Then I hauled ass to go find Jesse and spill the latest tea before Zeke could.

Later on Jesse sent him the link to the site, and he told us he’d find it over the weekend.

Well today, friends, is Monday.

Most of today we spent too busy to go grill Zeke about whether or not he’s crossed over into the fucking Mandela timeline and managed to watch Goncharov. But ten minutes before close, while we’re waiting to go, suddenly Zeke perks up, and remembers that when he gets home, he has to finish watching the movie. He’d had trouble getting the site to work on his phone, but his Xbox had run it, and he’d started watching it, but had unfortunately fallen asleep before he’d finished.

Now. I am a calm man, I can keep a straight face if I need to. But hearing this fucking idiot tell me he’d started watching a fictitious movie made up by Tumblr.com of all places nearly sent me to the fucking Shadow Realm with the amount of effort it took not to crack.

He talked for a couple more minutes before fucking off to do something else, I have no idea again I wasn’t fucking listening, I was trying not to visibly cry from holding back laughter.

But then he left and like instinct, like the inevitable impact of atoms inside of the Hadron collider, Jesse and I turned to look at each other. I knew what Jesse would say, Jesse knew what I would say, and like fate, like destiny, like two people who had witnessed a man commit manslaughter against his own damn self, we spoke at once.

“This idiot has seen Goncharov.”

#goncharov #unreality #i know we probably shouldn't have done this #but like honestly if you knew him you'd do it too #shitposting in real life

126 notes · View notes

seriouslysam8 · 6 months

Note

Why do you feel like Harry is so unliked? I thought it showed in OotP how much everyone looked up to him. The way everyone looked up to him for guidance as a leader, showed how likeable he was. Ya some people thought he was attention seekers but not all of them. Lots of people looked up to Harry and liked him. I don’t think he’s as unpopular as you think he is. I think a lot of people saw a different side of him in OotP and I don’t think only certain people got to see the nice side to him. The kid wasn’t rude to you unless you deserved it. He strikes me as polite and kind unless you hurt or insult someone he cares about. I do think Harry was more popular than Ron and although Ron is hilarious he didn’t really have very many friends either. The reason Harry didn’t hang out with Dean and Seamus in GoF was because Ron was with them first, plus Seamus was always a little jealous over Harry so I wouldn’t be surprised if that was something Ron and him bonded over during that time.

Because he really wasn’t.

He was ostracized in second year, fourth year, AND fifth year. People thought the worst of him for three entire years. Not just over small stuff. They legit thought he was petrifying students, cheated to enter a tournament for attention, and that he was a big fat liar. Each time, very few people actually believed Harry. Why? Because nobody really knew him.

I bet, though never stated, quite a few people were just exasperated with Harry in POA because now they had Dementors and Sirius Black breaking into the castle with a knife. Any normal person would be annoyed and bitter that they had to fear for their life because of Harry. Because it’s always something with Harry!

So if he’s on the outs with pretty much the entire school 3/6 years (potentially 4/6 years if you count POA though there’s no solid evidence), how did he become popular? Respecting him in the DA doesn’t mean he’s popular. Believing him in HBP and thinking he really is the chosen one doesn’t mean he’d popular.

And I don’t think it was a case in GOF that Ron got to Dean and Seamus first. I think Ron is more social and likable than Harry in initial meetings. I don’t even recall Harry trying to make new friends in GOF. He just stuck to Hermione. But, you know, I don’t blame him when everyone is wearing Potter stinks badges and calling him a cheat and an attention seeker. Yeah, that screams Mr Popularity.

Seamus thought Harry was a liar in OOTP. He wasn’t a close friend of Harry’s. If he was, he never would have jumped on the “Harry is a liar” bandwagon. Furthermore, he LIVES with Harry. He would have saw a very traumatized Harry in a more intimate way than others after the final task. Yet, he still believed Harry was a liar.

While people may have come to respect Harry in OOTP through the DA, it’s not like everyone was going out of their way to talk to him. He still stuck to Ron and Hermione. It wasn’t until HBP that we saw people taking an interest in Harry (mostly girls) because he was dubbed the chosen one. Romilda Vane didn’t like Harry for Harry. She liked him because he was dubbed as special again. As a bulk of other girls did. Plus, I think, Harry has blossomed from 15 to 16 to being taller and coming into his own. So girls probably legit thought he was cute too.

Harry wasn’t popular with the girls before. He struggled hardcore to get a date to the Yule Ball. It wasn’t like girls were flirting with him and trying to get an invite. He legit asked Parvati, someone he wasn’t close with but knew him enough to know he wasn’t a jerk. But I’m sure after that an abysmal date, she had a slight change of opinion. Parvati and Lavender were gossips. You know that got around the school.

Everyone and their Muggle cousin knew Ron was pissy at the Yule Ball because of Hermione and Krum. While it doesn’t excuse his behavior, it doesn’t linger like a cloud over him either after Lavender sucked his face off in HBP. Meanwhile, Harry had no reason to be a grump. He was a grump to be a grump.

When Ron and Hermione were prefects, Harry had no idea where to sit on the train in OOTP. He chose to sit with Ginny, Neville, and Luna. He probably chose it because of Ginny because he knows Ginny better than the others. It’s no secret that Harry loves all things Weasley. Harry hates sitting there with Neville and Luna. If Harry was friends with Neville, he wouldn’t have been so embarrassed to sit with him when Cho came around. (Though his opinions of Luna and Neville do change after the DOM debacle and he probably considered them friends).

So, if Harry wasn’t close with Neville or Seamus by OOTP (people in his own dorm), what makes you think he was popular in general? He wasn’t even popular amongst the boys in his own year. Furthermore, we can assume even in HBP that Seamus AND Dean weren’t close to Harry or really his friends because they made fun of him enough for falling off his broom that Ginny laid into them. I don’t think Ginny would have laid into them if they were Harry’s friends and taking the mickey.

So maybe you could say that Harry was “popular” in first year. Maybe he did talk to more people than we saw. But nobody stuck by his side in COS besides Romione, the Weasleys, and possibly the Quidditch team since they’d know him better than most. I can’t remember if the Quidditch team was salty against him or not. But if you believe your friend is petrifying students, well, they weren’t really your friend to begin with.

I think if anything, you could say Harry was popular in the sense that everyone knew his name, who he was, and things that he did. I do not think you can claim he was traditionally socially popular. He stuck with the same friends. You never really saw him interacting with very many people outside of Romione, the Weasleys, and the Quidditch team.

Harry is never surrounded by a bunch of people like Cho and Ginny who are described as popular. I look it as who are Harry’s friends and how does he interact with his peers to determine if he was popular. And, well, that’s lacking. Harry doesn’t have a lot of friends and he doesn’t interact with a ton of people all the time. The closest he came to that was the DA but, again, respect does not equal popularity.

That’s okay! I personally like that Harry wasn’t popular. I think it makes him more relatable and human. Given his childhood, it makes more sense that he has a tight-knit group of friends he trusts more than anyone else. I don’t think Harry would want a big group of friends. He likes the intimacy of a small group, knowing they are tight and he can count on them.

23 notes · View notes

marzipanandminutiae · 14 days

Note

What's your thoughts on Unsolved's shane and ryan outside of the Winchester house? I feel like they've misrepresented a few more things and jumped on bandwagons where they really dont need to before and I find it really annoying since theyre reaching so many people. Don't get me wrong , I love a good ghost story, but I feel like you should really do your research before you misrepresent actual people and their lives.

Haven’t seen it; I find them obnoxious and watching their content is bad for my blood pressure. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they represent things wrong; they’re all about sensation and disrespect.

They remind me of the boys who used to bully me for believing in ghosts back in middle school, and that’s not a good look for grown men.

#ask #thousandtinywaves

10 notes · View notes

ihrtmichael · 2 months

Note

random question, but, what's your favorite thing about wish? i have a feeling it's probably magnifico lol but if it is then why do you like him so much? asking because i know i reblog a lot of stuff about the concept art and the rewrites people do, since personally i find it pretty compelling and fun, but i also think it's neat that there are people who just genuinely enjoy the movie as it is! and it really must be frustrating for you that the tag is filled with what's basically a fandom centered on wish's concept art more than wish itself.

LMFAOOOOOO i feel attacked with the magnífico read!!!! /j

honestly i accept that the movie isn’t perfect and was rushed as fuck, but i had such a fun time! i think asha is so lovely and refreshing compared to the other (few) disney heroines of color. as much as i love esmeralda and jasmine they’re so oversexualized and fall into that stereotype of “fiery outspoken brown woman” which is 😬😬😬😬 to watch sometimes as a woman of color myself. it’s nice to see a young black heroine be clumsy and fun and learn to be a leader! and ofc magnífico is so funny and hellooooo it’s chris pine!!!! also he’s hot sorry likeeeee 🤭 i also find his story very compelling although i do concede his villain arc was slightly rushed lol. i would love to learn more about him and queen amaya! i also love the songs (esp “at all costs”) and animation (the rendering is beautiful!). while i understand that the final product was a bit underwhelming for what was built up as this huge 100 year disney celebration, i don’t think a movie needs to be outstanding to speak to you or make you feel happy. sometimes you just like what you like! and i had fun! ☺️

i definitely do wonder what could have been if the actors and writers strikes didn’t happen, because i think that may have messed with any final alterations they might have made before release that could answer all of my questions and make the story clearer. i used to be intrigued by the rewrites but now they just kind of annoy me because most of them are being written by people who haven’t even seen the damn movie and/or people who aren’t creating these rewrites from a place of love.

for example, during the fall i rewrote the hunchback of notre dame musical script out of a genuine love for the story and characters because i was so frustrated with peter parnell’s approach. and it shows in my version of the script. but with the wish rewrites, a lot of them come off as disingenuous and egotistical like this “im so much smarter than literal film professionals” bullshit (sorry if that’s harsh lol).

and a lot of the criticisms just aren’t constructive and seem to mostly come from people who have literally no idea what it takes to create something. like especially with the ai accusations??? full offense but most of yall wouldn’t know the difference between ai and real human art if it slapped you in the face. and it seems like a scapegoat to get out of providing ACTUAL constructive criticism of the film instead of people just admitting they’re blindly jumping onto the latest hate bandwagon lmfao.

it definitely is frustrating to go through the tags and see more conversation around the concept art than the actual final product we got, but i just pass out the blocks like candy and add certain tags to my blacklist and that clears things up very quickly lmfao.

thank you for the kind ask! i feel like most people come in guns blazing asking about why people liked wish lmfao, but your ask is very sweet and genuine. i hope you have a great night mamita!!!

#answered

13 notes · View notes

princeloww · 5 months

Text

It's almost suffocatingly annoying how little people on the Internet actually think. Just stop to think for one second that the person on the other side of that message is exactly that - a person. And, usually, quite often, a child, at that.

It's almost suffocatingly annoying how little people on the Internet actually think, before they say and do stupid, foul things. The Internet and this site, and even discord (although we all know it is one of the, generally-speaking, less brilliant places to be) are such wonderful things that have such raw and brimming potential to bring people together and make others smile. Yet, despite this, people are dead-set on going online and picking fights and getting wound up in everything other people say or do without any regard for the fact that they are people too.

People are so dead-set and wound tightly in their own little bubble that they forget what manners are and how to use them. The things some people say to others online, so aggressive and immediately ready for a fight, are never, ever things they would say in person. Being online creates a disconnect between you and the person you are talking to. It enrages me that some people never stop to remember that disconnect, and sort themselves the fuck out. I have seen in these last few weeks grown adults swearing at children over stupid things and acting like they are saviours and warriors who should be pitied and, even, respected.

How should anybody respect you when you are, in a public space, berating a child? Dumping anger on a child, a minor, a person under 16, and expecting reward? Expecting applause? Is that what you expect? A gotcha moment, a triumphant laughter, an "and then everybody clapped"?

Kids are going to be extra-sensitive. Kids are not going to be aware of politics and world issues and all of those things. And that's, maybe, for the better. Education and learning are important, but there are times, places and methods, and you, a stranger in a comment section, or a reply, or a Discord channel, swearing at and insulting a child fit into none of those boxes.

And it's not just about children. Adults deserve manners as well, do they not? Yet I have seen again and again people acting and speaking without a single ounce of manners or respect all because they are thoroughly and completely disconnected to the idea that someone, a human person, is sitting writing that response.

Bad people exist. Bad people have bad thoughts and opinions, and they deserve to be corrected and called out for those opinions. But what use is assuming that everybody who makes the slightest, human error is automatically a horrendous monster who deserves to be shunned and put down? People seem to be going into things expecting the absolute worst of others. You can't see when someone is having a bad day through a screen. Call out awful people, do it, they deserve it, but before you jump on a bandwagon of hate and slander stop to think for one, painful little second about who you're speaking to (their age, for example) and what they've really done.

And, if you've sat and thought for that little second, and it hasn't hurt too much, and you've realised that it's none of your business and you do not know this person, what they've been through and what they are going through - or, better, you've clicked on their profile and discovered they are a thirteen year old child, and realised that you would never approach a random, stranger's child and try to angrily teach them while throwing your middle finger in their face - then maybe turn off your phone, or your computer, close your laptop, grab a sketchbook or a notebook or a book or whatever in this giant world tickles your fancy and go for a walk. Break that disconnection you form every single time you are online, and rethink your methods of educating, correcting, and choosing who you surround yourself with. Corporal punishment is frowned upon for a reason. It's cruel and does not work.

Forgive my rambling

#olly rambles #rambling #not aimed at anything in particular #just a large build up of shit ive seen #both of people i know and of strangers ive seen in youtube comment sections #people need to take the time to wake the fuck up #from time to time #and realise they are not forced to engage with anybody online #who you spend your time with and what you spend it doing online is entirely up to you #and it is not your responsibility to police anybody else #regardless of how important educating others is #because it IS important #but like i said #there is a person a time and a place #and generally you are not that person it is not that time and you are not in that place #bit of a vent #sorry chat #regularly scheduled david tennant content will return briefly

8 notes · View notes

kazhanko-art · 1 year

Text

Being someone of Ukrainian descent/part of the diaspora in the west and trying to get people to understand the war and Ukrainian history is frustrating, cause a lot of the time you become Schrödinger’s Ukrainian: if you try to come from a Ukrainian perspective and use your voice that way you either a) get the same bs people from Eastern Europe always get, or b) you’re not really Ukrainian and therefore your perspective means nothing (therefore we will continue to not listen to any Ukrainians and talk over them).

If you try to use your western voice, then you’re either: a) a westerner who actually knows nothing and is just jumping on a bandwagon (no it doesn’t matter if you speak one of the relevant languages or have spent years researching and studying even before the war) or b) a descendant of a “bandurite” or are one (if you were to for whatever reason listen to tankies, you would find that every Ukrainian Canadian is actually a nazi trying to turn Canada into fascist paradise, and we’re all descended from Stepan Bandura himself)

Sometimes you are somehow all of these at once!

Now don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of benefits of being born or raised in the west, it’s still a better position I think than the treatment those from Eastern Europe are given, and I have been able to leverage both backgrounds to help educate other Canadians, and this os something in general the Ukrainian Diaspora here has long used to get Canadian support for Ukraine, but it is an at times very annoying thing to deal with.

#ukraine #canada #the west #westsplaining #do other diasporas deal with this?#I assume so #but I wouldn’t know #ukrainian canadian #ukrainian diaspora #diaspora #diaspora cultures #ukrainian #descent

30 notes · View notes

twopoppies · 2 years

Note

I watched dwd yesterday and thinking back on comments about harry’s character I kinda get why young inexperienced girls would talk like that about jack… his character is fully undeveloped… in the simulation he doesn’t do anything, he doesn’t act bad or say disturbing things, he doesn’t do anything fishy, he’s just there… spoiler but even when he lets them take Alice when she wanted to escape he’s not actively doing something, he’s just there crying… you could think that frank is the big bad guy and that jack doesn’t have freedom either, because at that point you still don’t know anything about jack. And his real persona is showed for like 3 minutes and the only thing they show to explain is him being an annoying codependent baby who can’t even make his own dinner… that’s your explanation? If I didn’t know anything more about the story, which I know only because I’m in the fandom, I wouldn’t excuse him either way but I wouldn’t hate him as much. And I didn’t think harry’s acting was that bad, I totally think critics who gave him bad ratings did that for clout, because if I (who have zero cinema expertise) can see that his character isn’t well written(and well directed probably) I’m sure they could too. Obviously we don’t know if his inability for the role was what made them screw up his character but even that would be their fault, like you don’t make a musical with an actor who can’t sing do you?

Hi darling. I agree with this so much. My friend who saw the initial screening said very much the same thing about Harry’s character—you never really understand if you’re supposed to sympathize with him or not.

And I totally agree that most people who tore into Harry’s acting ability did it to jump on the hate bandwagon. No one expected a rave review for his acting in this one, but I can’t imagine it’s as bad as some made it sound. To not make a mention of the weak script and lack of direction just makes those reviews seem like a personal attack.

I tend to think the script wasn’t changed much for Harry because Olivia was still begging Shia to come back days before Harry was announced as taking over the role which was only a couple of weeks before filming began. But who knows?

#Don’t worry darling #don’t worry darling spoilers

36 notes · View notes

arcxnumvitae · 10 months

Text

GET TO KNOW THE MUN

NAME : Kris

PRONOUNS : She/her

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION : Tumblr IMs and Discord. My Discord I’m only comfortable giving out if we’ve already established a bit of a rapport so I generally like to wait a little regarding ooc chatting before offering or giving it to someone.

MOST ACTIVE MUSE : It can change but lately it’s almost always a dragon and second is a fae. I think a lot of that is because they’re part of groups with dynamics with other muses of mine that I can also have fun with incorporating. Even if it’s just them chatting or talking about recent events. Haha, I really like connected stuff so it’s a surprise I don’t have more connected muses.

EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS : A side blog for about a month before I took the plunge and made this one! Leeeetttt’s seeeeeee, like 2015? I was a senior in high school and I’ve been here suffering ever since!

BEST EXPERIENCE : Absolutely absolutely the worlds and friendships I’ve made here. Some of my favorite years here were getting to create so much with @thewolfisawake and a friend who’s unfortunately no longer online. Kirei and I have been friends basically since I started and oh man, the love explosion I could go on about. Eight years this year! My rotten soldier, my sweet cheese, my good-time gal, she’s been with me through the best and worst days of my life and I cannot ever begin to truly articulate how much our friendship means to me.

Getting a little less sappy, even though our third friend is no longer around, I’ve felt so honored to have still been able to make connections here and getting to create new worlds, new plots, and new friendships with people. It got a bit disheartening for a while because I wasn’t writing as much because it felt like all I could find were people who frankly didn’t bother giving me the time of day because I was someone new and someone they didn’t already ship with. It was hard to get interactions or write with new people. So this past little while has been an absolute blast.

RP PET PEEVE : Oh my gosh I feel like I go on about this so much that it’s going to get annoying but it’s always my most consistent number 1 issue over the years. Shipping. Smut. Only caring about ships. Only caring about smut. Heck, only caring about solely your muse in a ship or only caring about writing smut for our ships. Dropping even attempting to interact with a muse of mine like a hot potato just because you realize the possibility for romance isn’t happening or because I didn’t immediately jump onto the ship bandwagon with them. I swear I’m not anti-ship because I also really like writing romance and I think writing smut can be fun! I just hate when it seems like that’s the only thing someone cares about when writing with me.

I guess it’s like...you create this fully fleshed out muse with hopes, dreams, aspirations, story hooks, and relations to other muses but none of that gets touched because you’re only used as fodder to write out “And (my muse) kisses (your muse) before having wild and raunchy sex with them” over and over again. I feel like it comes as no surprise if you’ve followed me for even a short amount of time that I really enjoy creating plots and events and things like that with our muses. It’s just how I prefer to do things. I’m also here to, like, write with people, not write out romantic scenarios for people, if that makes sense.

So if it’s obvious, and it always feels like it’s pretty obvious to me, when what we want out of something isn’t matching-- and worse, my muse is being treated like a glorified sex doll? Yeahhh. It’s why I wrote that big dramatic rule update/PSA post a minute back when I was going through some spring cleaning (also talking about my #2 pet peeve-- mutuals I can’t get to write with me) and-- I’m glad I did? I was right, I would not have wanted to deal with that with how stressed I am now and I’ve been enjoying using Tumblr and writing out muse mess as a breather. So, pat on the back to past me I guess?

Kind of stealing Marshy’s sentiments (who I’m also stealing this meme from too, hi) I’m a big fan of ships but I’ll never insta-ship, and depending on the muse, I genuinely mean it when I say that it may take time to get there, but I think the journey is part of the fun anyways. Anyways, I rambled again! Sorry!

PLOTS OR MEMES : I’m fine with both! I always tend to automatically resort to memes or fun dash things rather than long-form plotted threads when I’m super busy or tired, which is why I haven’t touched a tracked thread is a hot second ahahaha.... But I like both!

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES : *SpongeBob out of breath meme* How long are we talking? I can do long, it just depends on the muse, my energy, and if I have enough to work with. Longer threads may take me a while to get to since they require more attention and focus, but it all just depends!

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSES : Some yes and some absolutely not and thank goodness for that. I feel like most of my muses differ from me more often than not, and the only ones I may share similarities to are the introverts like Veritas, Raven, Aur, etc. Veritas, being my first ever muse, has more pieces of me than anyone else, but really that’s more like some of her personality beats and awkwardness than anything else and I still think she’s still a lot cooler than me personality-wise anyways!

Tagged by: @sansloii

Tagging: Anyone! Just say I tagged you

#{Mun #:outofcash

6 notes · View notes

tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 4 months

Text

Fucking finally! I haven’t watched the new Champion of Champions yet, I’ve had a weirdly anxious weekend and I want to enjoy it so I might save it for tomorrow night and hope I feel better by then, though I do have to balance that with wanting to avoid spoilers so maybe I’ll just watch it tonight. However. The important thing is that now that COC3 has happened, they have finally announced the season 17 cast! So we’re all allowed to stop pretending we didn’t see the names that leaked all over the internet months ago! Hooray! Here are some unsolicited opinions.

I mean, obviously I won’t pretend that one of those names didn’t jump out at me significantly more than the others. I sure know how to get on a bandwagon. Last year, when the s16 names were leaked, I took that as my sign to do what I’d been sort of meaning to do at some point eventually, and watch all Sam Campbell’s stand-up stuff that’s on YouTube. Meaning that by the time the names were officially released, I got to look like I’m really well informed on the less TV-famous comics because I already knew his stuff. When in fact, I didn’t know anything about him beyond his name and reputation until I saw he was going on Taskmaster.

The same isn’t true in this case, it’s almost entirely a coincidence that I happen to be getting really really into John Robins’ radio show in the run-up to his Taskmaster season. I’d had those radio shows on my list for ages, of things to eventually get to, sometime, when I’ve knocked everything off my list and have several hundred thousand hours to spare. I got into his stand-up early last year, long before any Taskmaster s17 names appeared, and this made me even more sure that I want to hear his radio show someday. So I tried it out at the same time as a few others, and then it did just happen to become the one that had a few really compelling episodes in a row early on, which hooked me and made me really want to hear the next one instead of mixing it up, and now I’ve abandoned all the other ones and reached episode 102 of their XFM/Radio X stuff in a few weeks.

I say it’s almost entirely a coincidence because I did see those names in September, and vaguely thought I’ll probably enjoy Taskmaster even more if I’m even more into John Robins by then. But it was going to happen anyway.

This one really is right at the top of my dream Taskmaster contestants. Not just that it’s a comedian I really like, but specifically a comedian who’s exactly the type of Taskmaster contestant. Hyper-competitive, but not in a jock way, more in an anxious obsessive controlling way. I made a post a while ago about how I’d read some people on a different website talk about the possibility of John Robins on Taskmaster, and they said this would be bad because his pedantry and competitiveness would be annoying, and he’d ruin the show with his tendency to not let a single thing go. And I said, God that sounds great. Please, Alex. Please let your angry golf buddy come ruin the show with his pedantry and competitiveness and refusal to let a single thing go. And then he did!

…I had an audio clip from a recent radio episode that I was going to post to expand on this, but I’ve decided to save that for another post, actually, and keep this one focused on the s17 lineup in general. So I will say: obviously, John Robins will be my favourite going into it, and if his approach to the show is at all consistent with the persona he’s displayed for the last 10+ years of his comedy career, he’s in a with a shot of rising to one of my favourite Taskmaster contestants ever. I can’t wait to see how he ruins the show. And how big he goes on the Freddie Mercury costume that he’s definitely going to wear.

Having said all that, I’m going to be honest about the fact that I wasn’t that excited when I first saw the full list of names. This is because there were already significant rumours about John Robins, even before the definite names linked, so while I was pleased to see his involvement confirmed, I’d been hoping the full list would have an additional name for me to get excited about. Which it didn’t, really, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be good, quite possibly very good. It just means they happen to have grabbed people from sides of comedy that I don’t know much about.

The League of Gentlemen people are a weirdly large hole in my Britcom knowledge, and I’m not sure why, but I’ve never had much of a desire to change that. I’ve had their stuff recommended to me lots (Psychoville and Inside No 9 and I know there’s other stuff), but I’ve vaguely looked at it, and have always thought it doesn’t really look like my thing. Though I have no good reason for this. I have some sort of vague negative association with that group of people in my mind, and I don’t know why it’s there.

The only guess I have is that I watched BBC Sherlock as it came out, and that became a bone of contention for me at the time. I thought it was a well made and good show with some glaring flaws – a few “this plot isn’t a clever or watertight as they think it is” flaws and a bunch of “this seems like it was written by men who think that as long as they can convince other men they’re really smart it doesn’t matter if their portrayal of women is fairly misogynistic”. And that latter opinion was backed up by my brother, who thought it was a work of impenetrable genius and anyone who was a word against it was just a bitter feminist who wasn’t smart enough to understand it, and sometimes we’d fight about that. This caused the name “Mark Gatiss” to be marred in my mind.

So it’s possible that that’s what happened. That a few years ago I looked up the League of Gentlemen things to decide whether to add that to my list, the name “Mark Gatiss” left a bad taste in my mouth and made me think I don’t like the look of this, and that made me decide I’m not interesting in finding out about Steve Pemberton or Reece Shearsmith either. Which is, of course, a terrible reason to write off some very accomplished comedy people. Because they worked with a guy who wrote a show ten years ago that I used to fight with my brother about.

The point is that I know very little about Steve Pemberton, but I am open to letting him win me around. I did recently hear a radio episode from 2015 in which John Robins was listing people who’d be at some event he was about to attend, people whom he considered famous at way beyond his level so he was excited about the idea of being anywhere near them, and one of the people he listed was Steve Pemberton. Reminds me of that 2007 radio episode where Russell Howard talked about Liza Tarbuck in similar terms. Hope he has a good time getting to share stage with him. I have no more than that to say about Steve Pemberton, because I really know absolutely fuck all about Steve Pemberton. I shall watch with an open mind and hope he’s great and changes my mind about all of this.

I know only slightly more about Sophie Willan, and that’s only because a couple of years ago she went on The Russell Howard Hour and was an entertaining enough guest so she stuck in my mind. She’d just won a BAFTA for her sitcom Alma’s Not Normal, and she spoke endearingly about the stories behind it and what it was like to write and make and then have it go so well, and the interview made me really like her and think that show sounds good. Though I’ve never actually seen any of Alma’s Not Normal. She was also quite good on WILTY last year. And those are all the things I know about Sophie Willan.

Nick Mohammed I guess I have a similarly unfair reaction to as I do to Steve Pemberton, in that the thought of him immediately puts a bad taste in my mouth simply due to his association with something else that isn’t his fault. Specifically, the third season of Ted Lasso was so absolutely fucking awful that I’m not sure I want to look at anyone from it ever again. I think it doesn’t help that there are suggestions that Jason Sudeikis being possibly terrible in real life may have been a small part of the cause of season 3 being so terrible, which has caused my brain to associate the actors with the bad writing. Even though Nick Mohammed did not write any of it. And I did hear some Brett Goldstein stand-up last year that I really enjoyed and he seems cool, so it’s possible that not every person who got cast on a bad show (or in this case, a good show that turned bad) is also bad.

I did watch Nick Mohammed’s filmed comedy special when I first saw his name on the s17 list, called Houdini. It was… not really for me, but I can appreciate that it’s well made if you like that sort of thing. It’s Nick Mohammed in character as Mr. Swallow, acting out a comedic biopic (but also a genuine biopic, it took me until about halfway through the show to work out that this wasn’t some parody or fictionalization, they really were trying to tell his life story) of Harry Houdini. Which I guess Nick Mohammed picked because he also does magic and admires people who have previously done magic to a legendary level. If you’re into magic and/or character comedy, then definitely check out Nick Mohammed’s special Houdini. I just happen to not be much into either of those things.

Although, I am curious to see whether Mohammed’s skills might come into play in Taskmaster. Because he does sometimes do actually magic when performing stand-up as his character Mr. Swallow. I’ve seen him do it in some short TV spots, where he’ll do a card trick, and he’s doing the trick for real, which you can tell because it doesn’t always work perfectly. But it usually works well. Those tricks involve a very impressive ability to memorize positions of lots of cards at once, and to do some other fiddly sleight of hand things, and that’s a real-life skill that Nick Mohammed has and most don’t. It reminds of Paul Sinha’s season, when he mostly performed terribly, but every once in a while there would be a task that tested one of those skills in which Paul Sinha is leagues and leagues more advanced than the average person due to his quizzing experience. Like that studio task where they had to name all those bird species, or the house task where they had to memorize the positions of cards. Paul Sinha was incredible at those, it was so cool to see. I’ll enjoy it if Nick Mohammed gets a similar chance to show that off.

Beyond that, I don’t know a lot about Nick Mohammed because I haven’t seen him be himself much. He sometimes turns up as a guest on TV shows, but normally as the character Mr. Swallow. And of course I’ve seen him in character on Ted Lasso. I don’t know what he's like when he’s not doing that.

I do know he was absolutely hilarious on the latest Catsdown Christmas special, which aired a few weeks ago. I think that show was running out of steam even before Sean Lock died and should definitely be respectfully put out to pasture by now (also, Jimmy Carr is getting harder and harder to be someone I can just tolerate in the background, as he throws his lot in more and more clearly with the right wing), but I’ve watched every episode they’ve put out and I will keep doing so until they stop (and I have to admit the one the other night with Lee Mack and Harriet Kemsley and DO’D was pretty good). And I thought Nick Mohammed absolutely stole the show on that Christmas special. I watched it with my parents and the Mr. Swallow routines from Dictionary Corner had all three of us laughing really hard. So that bodes well for Taskmaster s17.

Finally, I’ve saved Joanne McNally for last because I know almost nothing about her, and I’m probably being unfair by judging her based on this. I think the only things I’ve seen her do are a few guest spots on Joe Lycett’s Got Your Back (where she wasn’t doing stand-up or anything, just following the script, so it’s hard to get a read on her from that), she was on the Katherine Ryan Backstage but didn’t make much of an impression and I don’t remember what she did on there, and she did an episode of Alan Davies’ As Yet Untitled.

I watched As Yet Untitled a few years ago now, and thought she came off badly enough on there to make me dislike her even though I knew pretty much nothing about her. That’s because she told this story:

...I don't want to be all killjoy feminist "actually this comedy story told on a fun comedy show isn't funny, it's stalking and harassment and a component of emotional abuse", but this comedy story told on a fun comedy show isn't funny, it's stalking and harassment and a component of emotional abuse. I've known several people who have been in this situation with an ex-partner, and it's not funny, it's terrifying.

Now, I'm aware that not every single story on As Yet Untitled is 100%, down to each detail true. (I learned this last year, when I got probably disproportionately indignant about seeing that apparently you're allowed to steal someone's stand-up story just because they didn't like your penguin in 2002.) So I assume that Joanne McNally's story has, like plenty on stories that get told on panel shows, been wildly exaggerated or (hopefully) even made up completely.

But even if that's the case, even if none of that story really happened, it still doesn't make me like Joanne McNally to think that she considers that to be a quirky and funny story, rather than one where it looks like she's bragging about committing harassment. That's not great. And unfortunately for her, it's just about the only thing I know about her, so it has shaped my entire opinion.

I will hope she was just making up a wildly over-the-top story to get attention on a panel show, and it does not speak to her underlying character, and I will try to watch her on Taskmaster with an open mind. But I will be going in with some level of bias against her.

#Youtube

4 notes · View notes