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#jungwoo angst
luvyeni · 1 year
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can i request reader being self conscious that jungwoo doesnt love them the same way they do? like he always says ‘i love you’ but never seriously, its always quick and lighthearted. and reader cries about it and jungwoo walks in on them crying?
TELL ME YOU LOVE ME; KIM JUNGWOO
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pairings. officeworker!jungwoo x fem!reader
wc. 0.9k
warnings. angst , mentions of breakups , they both cry
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i hope you like it , i didn't add smut because you didn't specify if you wanted it smut , and i don't add smut unless specified.
you think jungwoo doesn't love you anymore , and began to wonder if he wants to end it.
you've tried your best , you really have , but things clearly haven't been the same. you've tried everything , waking up and cooking him breakfast before he goes to work — also making him lunch , planning dates , the whole nine yards , but jungwoo it seemed like jungwoo really did care about those things anymore.
often just leaving before even trying the food , forgetting the lunch in the fridge , quickly running out with a quick 'gotta go love you' before slamming the door shut leaving you to clean it all up — and when he shows up to dates , he isn't even intrested , allowing you to talk his ear off while he drifts off , or scrolling through your phone.
it wasn't always like this , jungwoo didn't always act like he didn't care , he actually used to be the one doing those things , getting up early to cook breakfast and lunch , planning dates — now , it's like you guys are roommates who just sleep in the same bed.
just like now , you got up , walking into the kitchen to make breakfast , his lunch in the fridge. you hear his alarm go off , then the shower running , finishing up , placing on the table , waiting for him to enter the kitchen.
"good morning baby." you smiled brightly at him , only for him to nod , walking over to the coffee pot , pouring himself a cup , grabbing a piece of toast off the table , "can't stay , gotta go to work." he was in a rush again. "oh okay." you frowned. "well have a good day , i love you." you said , handing him his lunch. "don't need it , probably will just eat something from the vending machine , love you" he didn't even give you a quick measly kiss like he normally does , just walking out , leaving you in silence to clean up the forgotten breakfast.
you went on with your day , doing some work on your computer , doing some errands , cleaning you and jungwoo's room — the day quickly going by , and before you know it , it was time to start cooking dinner , that you normally eat alone , before heading to bed , jungwoo coming in much later heating it up to eat before crawling into bed.
you quickly finish your food , making your way into the room , putting on some pajamas , before crawling into bed , the past month replaying in your head. you felt your heart breaking , did he not love you anymore? was this the end of you guys — were you gonna break up? you hadn't even realized that you were crying , until you felt the hot tears streaming down your face — your body curled up into a ball as you began to sob.
jungwoo sighed , his head hanging low as he closed the door to your apartment , taking his shoes off. his day was horrible , his boss forcing him to stay over to redo the paperwork the new employees fucked up once again , his regular 7 off time , turning into him barely awake as he walks through your door , almost midnight.
he trudged into the kitchen , his food layed out for him like always , he sat down to eat — his head in his hands. he finished eating , washing his dish , before making his way to the room. as he got closer , he could hear you crying — more like sobbing.
he opened the door , you were facing the wall , you were sobbing so loud , you didn't even hear the door open. "baby?" jungwoo rushed over , sitting down next to you. "are you okay? are you hurt? sick?" he felt your forehead , you slapped his hand away. "like you care." you sniffled , his eyes widened. "baby what do you mean , i do care." he said , why were you acting like this?
"baby." he grabbed your hand , "baby please look at me." you looked at at him blinking the tears away. "why are you saying such things , of course i love you." he rubbed your knuckles , you sniffled. "you haven't been acting like it , i cook you food , i plan dates , i do everything to revive what we had , and you don't even pay me any mind , you don't even tell me you love me anymore." you cried , he played everything in his head , it all suddenly became clear— he'd been so busy , he hadn't realized he'd been such an asshole towards you.
"do you want to break up?"
those words cut him like a knife , "what , no baby i don't want to break up." he brought your body into a tight hug. "i love you okay , i do , i really love you." he rocked your body back and forth. "i know you've been trying , i've been so busy baby , the company had me working overtime trying to fix shit that the new employees fucked up , i don't want to break up with okay?" you can now see the fear in his eyes. "we can fixed this , i promise." he said tears in his eyes , he was crying now too. "i'll take a few days off , and we'll spend it together." he suggested.
"can you do that?" he shrugged , "i don't know , and i don't care , you are far more important to me than that job , i'll get doyoung hyung or someone else to do it , don't worry about it." he kissed your head , laying down next to you. "i'm sorry." he said. "it's okay." you wrap your arms around him. "i never want you to feel like that ever again." he tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear.
"i love you."
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©️LUVYENI
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vergilthelibrarian · 1 year
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Your eyes widen and you moved backwards a bit.
“What… what are you talking about?” You asked in shock.
Jungwoo laughed.
“I’m in love you.” He said, his eyes intently watching you.
“In love with me?” You gasped out.
“Didn’t you turn me down? Laugh in my face and tell me that we’re just close friends?” You yelled.
Jungwoo rolled his eyes.
“Yeah… until I saw you getting a little too close to Jaehyun’s brother.”
“You mean Jaemin? He’s just a friend! And he’s a better friend than you!” You spat venomously.
Jungwoo nodded.
“Better friend hm?” He laughed slightly.
“You isolated me. You drove all of my other friends away to the point that I had no one but you… but not anymore.” You shook your head. “Ever since Jaemin came into my life, I finally saw you for who you really are. You’re like a vampire. Sucking my energy away, draining me…” you straighten yourself up, staring Jungwoo in the eyes.
“I don’t want anything to do with you anymore.”
Jungwoo frowned.
Now it was his turn to be in shock.
“What are you saying?” He asked though he knew exactly what you were saying. He just needed to be sure.
“I want you out of my life.”
Jungwoo started laughing once more and he was laughing hard and finally you felt fear.
Genuine fear from the man you once called your best friend.
“Oh babe.” He started, his eyes on you once more causing your body to turn cold.
His eyes were filled with a dark amusement.
It was like as though this was nothing but a joke to him.
And it was.
“That’s never gonna happen.”
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notjaehyun · 1 year
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i am not okay????????????????????????????????????
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kpop-kitkat · 1 year
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Partying | Kim Jungwoo
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pairing | boyfriend!kim jungwoo x f!reader
genre/cw | angst, fluff, explicit language, sexual themes, alcohol, teenagers/young adults partying, slight possessive behavior, crying, happy ending 
wc | 1.2k
notes | none
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
Y/n nearly tripped over her own feet as she danced to the party music, highly influenced by alcohol.
“I’m so glad you came! It would’ve been boring without you,” her friend Sana explained, also a bit tipsy.
”Oh my gosh, right?!” Y/n laughed, bumping into a stranger and muttering a quick drunken apology. 
“You know,” their third, non-intoxicated friend Jeongyeon, began. “Your boyfriend is going to kill you.”
”That’s funny,” Y/n replied, hardly understanding what she said.
”Jungwoo literally told you not to come, you said it yourself!” Jeongyeon crossed her arms.
”Did I?” Y/n raised an eyebrow. “Who cares about him anyway? I’m having the time of my life without him,” she giggled. 
“Your funeral,” Jeongyeon rolled her eyes before going to talk with her boyfriend. 
“Don’t listen to her. Just enjoy yourself,” Sana reassured. “Jungwoo can’t always have you to himself.”
Kim Jungwoo. While slightly overprotective of his girlfriend, he had common sense. He told Y/n not to go out when he left, because they had been in an argument, and he knew how she loved to drink her problems away. And why not go to the party? She could hurt herself, or worse, be hurt by other men. And the thought of that possibility infuriated Jungwoo with every single fiber in his body.
Of course Y/n was stubborn and a bit of a brat, so she did it anyway.  Her sober self would’ve regretted ever coming here and left for home, but she’d had a bit too much to drink by now.
”Attention everyone! My parents are getting home in two hours, so let’s clean up and sober up! Get home when you can, and please don’t drive drunk!” Announced Doyoung, the host of the party.
”Ugh, I was about to play beer pong,” Sana poured, leaning on Y/n’s shoulder.
”Me too,” Y/n whined.
”Omg you two,” she facepalmed. “Just chug water and take a hot shower upstairs. You both need it. I’ll drive y’all back,” Jeongyeon ordered. Being the oldest of the three, she felt it was her responsibility as an unnie to care for her younger friends. 
With hesitation, the two complied.
Y/n had to admit, the warm water on her skin felt absolutely incredible. But something was missing. Ah, Jungwoo. He joined her in the shower every chance he got. What would he think of her now?
Even after chugging thirty ounces of water, the alcohol still affected her. And while she was too drunk to walk properly or drive, she was sober enough to come to her senses. “I really messed up.”
”I know,” Jeongyeon, laughed, throwing some clothes at her friend, who only wore a bath towel around her body. “Put these on. Sana is already down stairs. Be quick please,” she said, going downstairs.
Y/n quickly put on the shorts and t-shirt before following Jeongyeon downstairs.
“Jungwoo is going to kill me,” she whispered to herself, making her way towards the front door, where Jeongyeon and Sana had already exited.
”You got that right,” a chilling, familiar voice replied.
Y/n squinted her eyes to see him, on the other side of the room. “Jungwoo?”
”The one and only.”
”Jungwoo I-“
”Shut your fucking mouth and get in the car. We’re going home,” Jungwoo growled. Jungwoo never cussed, unless he was angry. He must’ve been very much so.
She hung her head and complied, going out of the front door and getting into the passenger seat of Jungwoo’s car.
When he got into the driver’s seat, he slammed the door angrily, scaring Y/n. And his silence scared her even more.
”Baby-“
”I don’t want to hear it,” Jungwoo interrupted, eyes focused on the road.
”But I-“
”Shut the fuck up or I’m dumping your ass on the side of the road!” He yelled, eyes now focused on her and they were stopped at a red light.
Her eyes stung with tears as she sunk into her seat and hid her face from her boyfriend. She made an audible sniffing sound, and Jungwoo tried to convince himself he didn’t care. But he did. His girlfriend was sorry, guilty, and regretful. And when she cried, his heart cried with her.
”I’m sorry,” she whispered, arms hugging her legs.
Jungwoo remained silent. What did he have to say anyway?
Y/n didn’t have to look up to know he pulled into their apartment’s driveway. And once the car was no longer running, she opened her door and went up two flights of stairs to their apartment door. With the keys in her hands, she unlocked the door and made her way to the couch, plopping onto it and continuing to cry. How could she ever do something like this?
Jungwoo sighed as he heard her sobs as she locked the door behind him. He debated going to bed or talking with her. He ultimately decided on the latter.
”What made you think you could go out drinking with your friends without my permission?” He asked angrily.
”I don’t know,” she sniffed.
”You don’t know?!” He yelled. “Look at me Y/n!” 
She looked up from the couch and saw the anger in his eyes. Fear overtook her senses. She had never seen him like this in their two years of dating.
”You could’ve been hurt! How do I know you’re safe when I’m not there to protect you? How do I know you’re not in some other guy’s arms struggling for your fucking life? What if you,” he paused, panting. “What if I found out when I got home, that my girlfriend got herself killed because we had a stupid little argument a couple hours before?”
Y/n couldn’t blame anyone but herself now. He was right. And he really did care about her. He wouldn’t have said those things if he didn’t. 
“Look baby,” he sighed, crouching down beside her to move some hair from her face. “I love you. I need you safe. I can’t just let you go party with your friends when I can’t protect you,” he explained. 
She got choked up on her tears as she nodded. “I won’t do it again.”
”You better not.”
Y/n’s trembling body was warmed when Jungwoo wrapped his arms around her in an embrace. “I’m sorry I yelled at you,” he said quietly, kissing the top of her head. “I’ll always love you. No matter what you do. I can never stop.”
He moved away just enough to place a sweet kiss on her lips. “You still taste like alcohol,” he mumbled against her lips, and he couldn’t help but smile.
”Are you still mad at me?” Y/n smirked as he wouldn’t stop chasing after her lips.
”Not really,” he replied, licking her bottom lip.
”You know, we could just go to the bedroom,” she whispered tugging at his shirt. But she pouted when he pulled away.
”This is your punishment for getting drunk around other men, darling,” he smirked.
”Please?”
”Maybe tomorrow,” he smiled, pecking her lips once more before getting off the couch. “Plus, you probably need to be able to walk tomorrow. You know, for that exam you’ve been worrying about for ages?”
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lovelywooz · 2 years
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Kim Jungwoo - Enough
Hope you guys enjoy ! Not enough people write for Jungwoo so I only feel a little bit bad that most of my writing will probably be about him teehee! If you have any requests or would like to sat hi just send me a message and I’ll reply when I can :) otherwise please look forward to my next postings when they happen!
Word Count: 2.1k
Warning: This is VERY angsty. Mentions of past toxic and mean partners. Hurt-Comfort. All that good stuff.
Not comparing yourself to others is hard. But not comparing yourself to your immaculately perfect boyfriend? That is just plain impossible. You couldn’t possibly measure up.
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When you look at your boyfriend, it’s easy to tell why you love him. His laugh is contagious. He can brighten up a whole room with just his mere presence. He’s responsible and the hardest worker you’ve ever seen. And on top of all that, he is drop dead gorgeous. His delicate yet powerful frame compliments his fluffy hair and soft face. His tall stature doesn’t stop him from bending down uncomfortably just to rest a head on your shoulder. Simply put, he’s a total catch by anyones standards. And you’re so lucky to have him.
When you look at yourself, it’s hard to see the same value. Staring into your sullen eyes in the mirror, on nights like these you can’t help but wonder what he sees in you. How could someone so incredible really stay with someone as mediocre as you? Every day is like walking on eggshells, thinking endlessly on what to do to keep his interest and berating yourself when you do something that might be annoying. It’s a lot of effort to keep up the mask every day but if that’s what it takes then that’s what it takes. If he knew how much baggage you were carrying he would run away and never look back. You wash your face and try not to think about the way your fingers brush over a few forming blemishes on your skin.
You’ll never feel good enough for him.
You make your way downstairs to the dining room, adjusting the huge sweater draped over your frame on the way down. Its Jungwoo’s of course. You just couldn’t resist the idea of having his smell swathed around you and he didn’t seem to mind. You wished you could even be half as comforting to him but you doubt that. Sitting down at the dinner table, you look over the many steaming side dishes scattered about.
It was Jungwoo’s turn to cook dinner tonight. You’ve been trading off every other day as of this month. That way if he didn’t enjoy your food anymore he would only have to eat it for a few nights a week and he wouldn’t be burdened cooking for both of you every night. He’s probably so tired after work and you learned from a previous partner that if dinner isn’t consistently on the table, they would go eat dinner with someone else.
You hope that your little arrangement is a good enough compromise for Woo.
Your mind wanders back to this morning when you asked what he had in mind and he insisted he cook korean food for you. “I miss my mom’s cooking sometimes. I’m not nearly as good as her but… I really want to make something extra nice for you sweetheart”. He looked deep into your eyes, as if searching for something you couldn’t quite figure out. “Okay babe sounds great” you say, absentmindedly breaking eye contact while fixing your outfit in the mirror. You wear it all the time and yet it feels like it doesn’t look as nice as it used to.
You recall the time an ex of yours told you, “you’re too clingy in the morning, just leave me the fuck alone and do your routine and I’ll do mine”.
You don’t say anything more so as not to disturb Jungwoo while he brushes his teeth and fixes his fluffy hair. You want to reach out and brush your fingers over it so badly the way you used to, but you decide it would probably just piss him off. You gave him a short kiss before heading downstairs and out the front door, leaving him standing alone in your shared bathroom.
Jungwoo’s hands fall from his hair to the counter as he hears the door firmly shut. He wipes the mist from his eyes and tries to stop biting his nails before making his way out the door as well.
“… Well it’s not gonna jump onto your plate by itself sweetie”. Jungwoo broke you out of your thoughts with a weak laugh.
“Oh yeah. Sorry ha ha!” You move your chopsticks towards the dakgalbi thats wafting an irresistible aura and grab a few pieces to set on your small dish of rice. “I’ve been spacing out a bit lately.”
“You’ve been spacing out, a lot, lately actually.” Jungwoo clears his throat and stands up a bit from his seat to grab some kimchi. “Sorry. That came out weird... I’m just a little… well I’m worried about you.” He shoves the food in his mouth with gusto then opens it back up to regulate the temperature and swallows after a while. Leaving a very uncomfortable silence. He suddenly sets down his chopsticks and sits ramrod straight.
“I’m worried about us”.
You nearly choked on the rice you had only just started chewing.
“I didn’t want to do this now. I’m sorry I just can’t wait any longer I’ve been so worried lately”. He picks his hands up from the table almost confusedly and then brings them down to his knees, rubbing them quickly. He brings them back up in a matter of seconds though, in favor of running his hands through his hair fervently. His eyes are shifting anywhere but yours. All the habits he shows when he’s most nervous. “Did I do something wrong? Because you just don’t seem as happy to see me lately and, and I feel like, every time I compliment you or kiss you or touch you or anything you just”, he swallows heavily in an attempt to keep his voice from quivering, “You just, hate it. Like you barely even look at me anymore. I thought maybe it was just an off day or two for you, but it’s been weeks now”.
You open your mouth to speak, to offer him some explanation that would hopefully make it all better, but are pointedly interrupted by him. “No- I’m not done”, he stands up from his seat at the table and paces around for a moment before turning to face you directly, “I have to know. Don’t sugar coat it”. He looks up at the ceiling, takes a deep breath, and asks a question you couldn’t have prepared yourself for.
“You don’t love me anymore, do you?”
What. How could this have happened? The love of your life, in tears in front of you, because he thinks you don’t love him anymore? Him. In all his perfection. In all his kindness and intelligence. The man you’ve obsessed over night and day for years, finding a new detail to love about him every week. Of course you still love him, you’ve never doubted it for even a second. How could you have possibly made him think any differently? You’ve been controlling your actions so carefully so as not to disturb or annoy him. Where could it have gone wrong?
You then remember all the times you’ve said no to dates recently because you didn’t “feel like going out” when in reality you felt too guilty to let him waste even a bit of his hard earned money on you. The times you’ve skipped over romance movies and tv shows he suggests to watch together because they remind you you can’t offer him the fairytale love he deserves. All the nights he’s gently slid a hand up your thigh in bed and you pretended to be asleep because you felt like your body wasn’t pretty enough. Not calling him on the way home from work this week because you’ve been bawling your eyes out on the drive home in fear of losing him.
Oh god. The awful realization hits you all at once.
You’ve been so worried about holding him back. About hurting him. About your love not being enough. So focused on ‘fixing’ every insecurity in a desperate attempt to prove your worth to yourself and to him. So mixed up inside all of that, that the love you’ve been giving him all but dried up. And you upset him regardless. You failed.
“You’re not saying anything damn it why are you not saying anything?!” He is full on sobbing now when you come back to reality. “I love you so much. I don’t want anyone else so just please don’t leave me. I don’t know what I did to push you away but I’ll do anything to have you back. It’s only you. It’s only you…” His desperate pleading trails off as the scalding hot tears stream heavily down his face.
The tears have started in your eyes now as you finally speak. “Jungwoo… I love you so much. I love you just as much as I ever have. I’m head over heels for you. I never meant to make you feel this way I am so, so sorry.” You stand up from your chair as well and walk so slowly towards him. “The truth is, I just- I-“ you’re floundering against the tightness in your throat. Why is this so difficult?
“I feel like I’m not enough for you.”
He looks up from his arms. Oceans still rising underneath his eyes.
“I have so much baggage. From experiences and relationships that I’ve been too scared to tell you about. I just didn’t want to chase you away when you found out how messed up I am. I’m so scared to love because I don’t know how to do it correctly and I’m scared that I will create something that only hurts you. I still can’t even fathom how you could love someone like me. I’ve been agonizing all this time trying to be the best partner for you but I still can’t even do that right. Someone as perfect and beautiful as you deserved so much more than me.” You move a hand up to wipe his teary eyes, not realizing how much closer you are now than when you started. “So I hid everything. And pretended like it never happened. I decided to hide at first and maybe open up later but the years just caught up to me and the stakes grew higher and higher as I saw how amazing you are and fell so far in love with you that the idea of losing you because of my incompetence with love was just not an option anymore.” At some point he must have put his arms around you, because you register his comforting scent all around and feel your forehead land against his chest so softly as if it were a feather.
“How long, have you been feeling this way?” His voice is hoarse and soft from crying but he seems to have gained some control over his tear ducts. “I mean like- how long has it been building up inside?”.
“I don’t know. It’s been much worse lately. I’m so sorry Jungwoo.” Your answer will have to suffice for now because your throat is aching terribly from holding back your tears. You’re the one who hurt him, how could you possibly be letting Him comfort You? Once again you feel like you’re bringing him down. You can hear the harsh words and brutal truths from your previous partners nipping at your mind again. Only this time, his voice is there to break your spiraling.
“I forgive you. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. But there’s one thing that you should hear. If nothing else.” He brings you out of his arms to look him in the eye, making sure that you are holding his gaze by placing one hand on your cheek and the other on your shoulder. You’re expecting him to be so angry with you. This is the part where he leaves you forever. You’ve neglected him. You’ve inconvenienced him. You’ve ignored him. And-
“I don’t care what they told you about yourself. Whoever they are. I fucking love-“ his voice breaks in his sincerity, “I love you. I love everything about you. They way you love is perfect just the way it is. You’re my favorite part of life. And if this is something that we have to work on, then we will work on it together. We will get through this. But we can’t do that if you don’t talk to me. You have to let me in. I’m here to help you now. I’m not like them.”
Your body has a physical reaction to his words. They shoot up your spine like an electric shock and land right where your heart is. Never before in your life have you heard someone talk about you with such conviction. You can feel some part of your emotional walls crumbling away. The way he holds you like a treasure. The way he looks at you with more devotion than you can even fathom. Suddenly the voices of your exes get quieter.
“I love you so much sweetheart. You don’t have to be perfect. All you have to do is be yourself. You will Always be more than enough for me.” He presses his soul to yours in the form of a gentle kiss to your forehead.
“I love you too Woo, I love you so much.” The dakgalbi is cold, but your hearts are so warm. In this moment you know for certain now. As long as you have each other,
Everything is going to be okay.
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Fated to be yours | Kim Jungwoo
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Cupid au
pairing: cupid!Jungwoo x reader
warnings: death, mention of bullying, bus accident, I think there's one swear word (While none of the warnings I mentioned are explicitly described, I advise you not to read this if any of them trigger you.)
word count: 6.1 k
genre: angst, fantasy, fluff
synopsis: When a tragic ending makes room for a new beginning, it only makes sense for everything to fall into place. But sometimes second chances are even harder than the first. Especially when time and fate have their own way of things.
an: I finally got done with this. It took forever and It's still far from being perfect but I thought it would only be right to give you something on my birthday. I hope you enjoy and if anyone waited for this, I'm sorry I took so long. Please let me know what you think!
This is a continuation of this [03:23 pm] timestamp. You could read this on its own, but it would make more sense if you read both.
Taglist: @gangsta-dragon, @thelilyshope, @donkey-hyuck, @doeilovr
You shift uncomfortably in your seat,  
“What are you talking about?” 
Voice barely audible.  
Something about him makes you stay in your seat even when your senses tell you to run. 
“I’m not visible to you” he says once more. 
This time his tone irritates you, he isn’t even trying to make you understand. 
His cold eyes also have something else in them but you can’t quite make out what that is, it seems locked away. Only visible when you search for it. 
The sun makes his skin glow, so much that it almost looks see-through. Your eyes go down to his lips, they have the same shade of pink as his hair.  
For a split second, you see your surroundings lose colour and everything moves in slow motion. The people sitting around you look like frozen statues, none of them even blinks. Even the vehicles outside are standing still on the road. All the noise from the busy city has completely vanished. Whilst the clouds seem to be frozen in place. 
But you can still see Jungwoo, you can feel him closer to you than ever before and you hear him. You hear him so clearly even though he is not talking to you.  
Before you can even process what is happening, the sudden halt of the bus takes you out of your trance. The force almost makes you fall over. 
You grab onto the seat in front of you to balance yourself and you hear the voice of the bus driver shouting something out of his window. Everyone gets up to see what is going on, they start whispering to each other and you hear someone calling the emergency number. 
No one else seems to have felt what you just did as if you and everyone else were in two different places. 
You turn to Jungwoo, but the seat is empty.  
The gush of cold air hitting the side of your face makes you look over at the door, it’s wide open but nobody else seems to notice it.  
-- 
Jungwoo takes a deep breath to calm himself down. 
Something definitely happened, something that was not supposed to happen. 
Like a glitch almost, a spilt second where the universe was out of balance.  
The look he had seen in your eyes tells him that you experienced it too.  
How could you see him in the first place? Did he mess up somewhere?  
He takes out the small piece of rolled-up parchment from his pocket, not noticing his watch that has stopped running. 
“A step in the right direction after great hesitation. 
A twist of fate, On the destined date. 
The appointed hour, a blessing and curse combined,  
Your journey of one, six and eight.” 
No matter how much he tries to understand, none of the words make any sense to him.  
But he had to be quick because time was running out, that was the one thing he was sure of. 
-- 
Lost in your thoughts you don’t notice the message you had received from your friend asking you why you weren’t at work yet. 
It’s only when you see the name of your boss displayed on your screen, indicating that he is calling you, that you realise how much time has passed. 
Your eyes glide past the name to see what time it is.  
09:45 
You were supposed to start your shift almost an hour ago. And it doesn’t seem like you will be moving any time soon so you grab your bag and get off the bus.  
Luckily you weren’t too far away from your stop so you get there relatively fast. And after explaining the situation, your boss didn’t go into it any further. Which you were very thankful for. 
As the day goes by your thoughts drift off to Jungwoo, you keep thinking about his weird behaviour. 
The more you think about it, the more you understand that he wasn’t interested in you. He didn’t even care to have a chat with you out of courtesy. 
If only you hadn’t taken the bus that day, no if only you hadn’t gone up to him. No, you should’ve never invested your time in him or even let him into your head. 
A deep sigh leaves your mouth. 
No matter how much you try to forget it, a feeling of disappointment still settles in the pit of your stomach. He felt so different to you, you were almost sure he was like no other human being. 
But of course, that wasn’t the case. He was far from what you thought of him. Maybe it was your own fault for making up this “perfect façade” about someone you didn’t even know.  
And you were hoping to fall in love during the first snowfall of the year, “what a joke” you think to yourself. 
Maybe love just wasn’t for you. 
-- 
Snowflakes are falling softly on the ground, white and glistening, almost erasing all the troubles in the world. 
Jungwoo puts his hand out to catch one, even when he knows he can’t. He looks at it while it goes straight through him. But for the first time in a while, it makes him smile. 
Because a newfound hope has started to blossom in his chest. 
It had been a good day; he managed to bring together two couples and even healed a broken heart. His list was getting shorter and the possibility of regaining his life seemed to come a step closer each day. 
From the edge of the building, he is sitting on, he looks down the streets of the city that was once home to him. It had only been a couple of years since he left but a lot had changed. 
He spots a child holding onto the hand of his father, trying to keep up with his little feet. Wrapped in a big scarf and wearing little mittens on his hands, he looked absolutely adorable. Anyone could tell how much the father adored him, by the gentle smile grazing his face whilst holding his little hand tightly.  
Parental love, a love set deep in the heart but one that is very complex at the same time. 
He can’t even remember a time his own parents ever looked at him like that. Because they never did, not even once. He tried so hard for them, to make them like him, to please them and to love them. Hoping he would be loved in return. 
A couple walks in the opposite direction, holding hands and giggling slightly. The blush on their faces is evident even from all the way where he was sitting. 
First love, the overwhelming feeling of holding someone so close to your heart for the first time, one that he recognises all too well. 
Her bright eyes are still engraved in his brain, they were his favourite. Because they made his days bearable. The very last time he looked into her eyes she smiled at him. He felt happy, for once he genuinely felt happy. 
He spots a group of friends enjoying the evening in a little coffee shop at the end of the road. Chatting away about their day, sharing laughs and enjoying their youth.  
Friendship, a different kind of love, one that is easy to obtain and hard to let go of, one that is easier overlooked but a love destined for everyone. 
The only person in the world who accepted him for who he was and who loved him because of that. He was the only person that reached out his hand to him and held it until the very end. His one and only friend, Doyoung. 
At the thought of him, Jungwoo feels a sting in his chest. Something like an arrow being shot into his heart. 
He takes a few deep breaths before he takes out the parchment again. 
“This is the final thing you have to accomplish. If you find the right people and bring them together before your time is up, your second chance at life will be granted. You must be on time, even a minute plays a crucial role. Everything you need to know is writing on here.” 
The words keep playing in his head. 
One thing he did not understand is why this was delivered separately, and why this one was different to all his other cases. 
The sound of the opening door takes him by surprise. He didn’t expect anyone to be here at this hour or on a day like this.  
But he couldn’t care less because they wouldn’t know he was there anyway. 
“A twist of fate, on the destined date.” 
Something about this sentence makes him uncomfortable, it provokes worry. Because fate doesn’t have twists. It’s something that is meant to be, right? 
“Oh, you’re here too...” he hears a familiar voice say. 
He sees you standing by the door when he turns around and then he gets up and walks up to you. 
You start walking backwards but he is faster than you and before you know it you are standing with your back against the door. 
“I don’t know who you are and I don’t care who you are but if you are here to ruin things for me, spare your energy and go back to where you came from” 
You scoff at his words. 
“Listen here you prick, I got the memo this morning already! You don’t need to go on about that. But just because you don’t like me doesn’t mean you can treat me like this.” 
“Why are you here?” 
“Do I have to tell you about what I do with my life now too? Just get out of my way, I’m really not in the mood to argue” 
“Can you really see me?” 
“Then do you think I'm just talking to the air?" you answer, sighing heavily. 
Something doesn’t add up. 
You walk past him and go to sit on the other side. 
Jungwoo searches for a sign but there is nothing out of the ordinary. Even though he doesn’t trust you, he somehow knows you aren’t a threat to him. Which confuses him even more. 
“Could this be part of the assignment?” he thinks to himself. 
All he can do now is observe the situation so he decides to sit down too. 
For a while you both just sit there not saying anything, it’s strangely peaceful. Neither of you feeling anything. 
“I’m sorry,” Jungwoo says. 
“You are very rude, you know?” 
“I know, that’s why I’m apologising” 
When you turn to look at him, he is already facing you. The soft apologetic smile on his face makes your heart skip a beat.  
“It’s fine...” you say trying not to give away how much he affects you. 
“It’s not that I dislike you, I just thought- you were someone else” 
You nod at him not really knowing what to say, hearing his words makes you feel slightly better. 
As the misunderstanding is somewhat settled you slowly fall into a conversation, which goes on for hours into the night without either of you realising. 
Just like the time that is ticking away. 
The following days you still wait for him each morning but now he sits next to you and you spend your mornings with him before starting your day. And most evenings are spent on the rooftop, you meet practically every day but even so, there is never a dull moment between you two. 
You find out that you two had lived on the same road when growing up and even crossed paths when you still were in school. 
He understood your sense of humour that most people found lame. And there was always something to talk about. It just was so easy with him. Which made it even easier to fall for him. 
Jungwoo felt it too, he knew something changed. It was exciting and new to him...you felt different to him. 
-- 
He looks up to the publishing company in front of him. It was weird for him to be led to a specific place but he was sure he needed to be here for his next case. Not too long after entering, he finds the man he came for and he sees you sitting behind one of the many desks too. 
A rush of anxiety goes through his body at the thought of it being you he has to set up with him. So, he turns around and begins to walk out. But he knows can’t let personal feelings get in the way, no matter how much he dislikes it.  
He gets the little sachet filled with love and returns to the office. He looks at every move of the man after he has done what he needs to do. He can feel his heartbeat increasing with each passing minute. 
He sees him walk over to the row where you are sitting at. His fists have become white from how hard he is clenching them. But the man walks pasts your chair and goes up to a woman a couple of desks further.  
One thing leads to another and before you know it, he is down on his knee asking her to marry him. Jungwoo lets out the breath he was holding in this whole time. 
He feels selfish for being so happy that it wasn’t you, but at the same time, he can’t contain it.  
When you step out of the company that evening, you immediately spot your favourite smile across the street. Your heart does a little twirl when he tells you he has been waiting for you.  
“Can I take you somewhere?” he asks 
“Huh? Isn’t almost everything closed by now?” 
“Do you trust me?” 
You don’t even have to think about it, which confuses you. But at the same time, the question brings you peace as if it’s the most normal thing ever to trust him. 
You look at him and smile, “I do” 
He leads you all the way to the other side of the city. The further you get, the lesser the bustling of the evening gets. Almost as if you aren’t even in the same city anymore. 
Jungwoo leads you into a park. A look of recognition settles on your face when memories from high school come floating back. It had been ages since you last visited this place and you almost forget about it. 
After a while of walking in silence, Jungwoo turns to you with a huge grin on his face. 
“Close your eyes, please” 
You look at him with raised eyebrows and a playful smile but do as he asks. A couple of moments and warily steps later he tells you that you can look. 
A surprised gasp leaves your mouth as you look around. Endless bushes full of pink roses covered with a layer of thin ice come into view. 
“You like it?” you hear him ask 
“Yes, they are so beautiful” you answer as you carefully trace the icy petals of the flowers. 
You’re taking pictures when you look over at Jungwoo. He is standing surrounded by all the flowers. A soft smile is grazing his face and an unusual yet alluring energy is radiating off of him. You can’t take your eyes off of him so you decide to take a photo. 
What you don’t notice is how Jungwoo is slowly fading away on your phone. 
-- 
The pure joy on the elderly couple’s faces fills Jungwoo’s heart. Two people who had been searching for one another for more than 20 years while never giving up on their love for each other, could finally be together again. It was such an authentic form of love; one he was envious of.  
Maybe if the circumstances were different, he could have experienced it too. Spending a lifetime with one person... 
You enter his mind. 
Your curious eyes and the way you laughed at his jokes, or how cute you looked with your huge scarf that covered most of your face. He wouldn’t mind experiencing more moments like that, he wouldn’t mind at all if it was you. 
When he crosses out the elderly couple’s names, he notices he only has one more pair left. For some reason whoever, it does not make him happy. 
He was a step closer to his goal each day but something felt off, it seemed too good to be true. It was almost too easy. 
He puts the list away and strolls down the street, maybe he could see you again. 
And not much later, as if his heart led him to you, he sees you walking down the street. He hurries to catch up but then decides to stay a couple of steps behind you.   
Just as you reach the bus stop, you abruptly stop and turn around, catching him off guard. Jungwoo practically jumps in the air and you start laughing uncontrollably. 
“For fuck’s sake you almost gave me a heart attack” 
“That wouldn’t happen if you weren’t sneaking up on me, would it?” you ask, highly amused. 
“I was not sneaking up on you. I just wanted to say hi!” 
“Oh yeah of course”  
 “What are you doing here anyway?” you say as you pull your coat around you even tighter to keep yourself warm. 
“I was just in the area, are you cold?” 
“Yes, are you not? How come you are always dressed so lightly?” you ask him as you reach out to touch his cheeks. 
Jungwoo takes a step backwards but you still manage to cup his cheeks. He can feel your cold hands on his face and for the first time ever someone’s touch doesn’t go through him. 
He is at a loss for words, partly because he doesn’t understand and partly because it feels so foreign. It has been so long since he has physically felt anything. 
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” you say when you realise what you are doing.  
“No, no please don’t” you hear him say before he wraps his arms around you.  
“May I please hold you for a moment?”  
The mood suddenly shifts into something emotional, you both can feel it but you don’t acknowledge it. You allow him to hold you, sensing he needs it. 
Being in his arms felt safe, something like returning home.  
After what felt like ages, Jungwoo slightly pulls back and asks you if you have warmed up a bit. 
Not being able to look into his eyes, you nod while keeping your eyes on his chest.  
“You look so cute” you hear him say 
Now you were definitely feeling warmed up. His words made you feel butterflies all throughout your body. When you look up at him you see him looking back at you with his sweet smile. 
“You look cute too,” you say to him. 
He chuckles slightly and it’s the prettiest sound you’ve ever heard. 
You stand there looking into each other’s eyes with hearts beating in the same rhythm. 
You see Jungwoo’s eyes flicker down to your lips, and feeling a bit confident after his compliment you start to lean in.  
You see Jungwoo’s smile get bigger before you close your eyes.  
Before he can lean in, he suddenly hears a ticking sound. When he looks up to see where it comes from, he sees the familiar number appear above your head. All the blood disappears from his face when he realises what it means.  
You were his last assignment. 
He pulls away from you in shock but also disappointment. Out of everyone it had to be you. 
You open your eyes when you feel him pull away and ask if everything is alright. The look on his face tells you it’s not but he doesn’t say anything. 
“What’s wrong?” 
“I-I think I should go,” he tells you. 
It’s so clearly visible, there is only one day left. 
Before you can say anything else your bus arrives and he is suddenly nowhere to be seen.  
You reach for your phone to call him but you realise you never asked for his number nor that you have ever seen him use his phone. 
-- 
With a heavy heart and trembling hands, he takes out his list but doesn’t unfold it. This can’t be right. It can’t be you out of everyone in this city. He wishes so desperately that he is wrong but he knows he isn’t. He saw the numbers above your head, just like he had seen them for every one of the people he had to bring together. Indicating how long he had to find the right person for them and complete his task. It was tricky at first but after the first few couples, he got the hang of it and it actually became something he looked forward to. Because the look on everyone’s faces after he sealed their love for each other, was priceless.
But not this time, every second that passes makes him want to stop. It doesn’t even matter if he can get his life back now because what was the purpose of it if you were not going to be there with him? But he has no choice, he has to if he does not want to disappear completely.  
The paper feels rough on his fingers almost as if it’s digging into his skin, mocking him for even hoping something would work out for him. He knew he should never have let his guard down for you but it’s not like he could prevent it. Not with you.  
But the harsh reality is staring back at him once he unfolds and reads your name. The golden letters shine under the city lights. Was this why everything seemed so easy? Because he would be backstabbed in the end? Was this the reason why only this mission was written in riddles? So, he could feel his heart crumbling down while he solved it? Was this all a cruel joke he had to pay for just because he wanted a second shot at life? 
Jungwoo looks up at the sky with tears in his eyes as his hand crumbles the paper into a ball. But no matter how much pain he feels, the world just goes on. The buzzing of the city doesn’t die down nor do the stars stop sparkling in the night sky. 
-- 
One more day and all of this would end. 
Strolling through the streets he sees everyone setting up the last bits of decorations for valentine’s day. Everywhere he looks he sees pink and red hearts, flowers and signs. He wishes he could be here for it, to see the full effect of his hard work. The streets would be filled with people in love, falling in love and wanting to love. 
You’d be too...once he completes his mission, you’d be loved by someone that you love too. You’d be happy...with someone else. You’d spend your days with that person from now on... 
No matter how much he tries to prepare himself for it, he can’t accept it. How could he when he was in love with you? How could he be okay with binding you to someone else while he will disappear from your life? 
The one thing that slightly calms down his wavering feelings is the fact that your partner’s name has not yet been revealed to him. While waiting does make him anxious, he feels comforted by the thought he doesn’t have to go out and find them just yet.  
Then he feels it again, the same thing he felt on the bus. Everything and everyone seems to stop moving, even the snow falling down has stopped mid-air. This time whoever something happens. Golden light surrounds him and disappears into his pocket. Once reaches down he pulls out the list and the parchment, both being lit up by the light. But no matter how many times he looks and rereads them, nothing about them changes. 
As he follows the beam of the light, he sees the same ticking clock that has appeared on his wrist. Four golden numbers reveal the same countdown he had seen that night with you. 
The world starts moving again and everyone resumes what they were doing. Yet again, no one else seems to have experienced what he just did. 
-- 
The bus stops right in front of him like it does every single day but none of it is the same. He hesitates to get on and almost turns back when he sees your face, smiling so brightly at him. He gives you a small smile back while getting on and walks towards you. Every step he takes feels heavier than the last one. The ticking of the clock becomes louder and louder in his ears. 
“You’re finally here! I missed you this morning”, he hears you say. Making all the noise in his head disappear. 
“Sorry, I missed the bus” he lies.  
The way you are looking at him tells him that you don’t believe him but you don’t pry further. 
“I want to ask you something”  
Jungwoo turns his head to you and smiles. But you can see the sadness in his eyes. It’s so intense that it makes your heartache.  
“What is it?”  
There are a million things you want to ask him but can’t bring yourself to. 
“Can I get your number maybe? I realised we never exchanged them and it would be easier if anything like this morning happens again...don’t you think?” you laugh awkwardly  
He chuckles before responding, “I’m sorry but my phone broke a while ago” 
“Oh! that’s totally fine...” 
Maybe he doesn’t want my number, you think to yourself. The familiar disappointing feeling settles in your stomach. Maybe he doesn’t like me that much after all... 
Jungwoo notices how your mood has dropped and it kills him to know it’s because of him. He didn’t lie to you, ever since the accident his phone had been broken... 
There is something he has been contemplating ever since he found out you were his last mission. Everything will come to an end if he does it. Everything he has worked for all of this time will vanish and leave this world like it never existed. 
He knows and yet he chooses you.  
“Do you maybe want to go on a date tomorrow? It’s Valentine’s Day...” he asks a bit unsure. 
With a bright smile, you look up at him and nod. 
“I’d love that!” you tell him. The feeling in your stomach turns into a million butterflies. 
-- 
03:00 
Jungwoo pushes his sleeve back up once he sees there are only three hours left for your binding. While it’s strange your partner’s name hasn’t shown up yet, he isn’t too worried because he has dealt with similar cases. 
He makes his way over to the door and grabs the handle, then hesitates. If he goes to you and the person you are meant to be with shows up, then he won’t be able to do anything but complete his mission. But if they do not show up, he’ll disappear right in front of your eyes once the timer reaches its end. 
Both of the options break his heart even more. 
Time passes by without him moving from his spot. Eventually, he lets go and goes back to sit down. No matter how hard he tries, he just can’t do it.  
He takes out the parchment one last time. 
“A step in the right direction after great hesitation. 
A twist of fate, On the destined date. 
The appointed hour, a blessing and curse combined,  
Your journey of one, six and eight.” 
The sun is setting already when he feels his wrist light up again. 
02:00 
You must be wondering where he is, he thinks. Your date was supposed to start half an hour ago... 
“Your journey of 1-6-8...168 hours?” he quickly takes out his list to see when he brought together his first couple of this year.  
Exactly one week ago. 
“A step in the right direction after great hesitation...But that doesn’t seem right? I didn’t hesitate with any of the bindings...” 
That’s when it hits him. 
“I hesitated to get close to y/n!” 
His wrist begins to hurt as the light seems to have become brighter. 
01:30 
You’re standing in front of the café you agreed to meet at. An hour has passed and you still see no sign of him. But you keep waiting with the bouquet of pink roses and the new phone you bought him, in your hands.  
“He will be here”  
01:00 
“The appointed hour, a blessing and curse combined...The hour it’s all over! A blessing for y/n and a curse...for me?” 
So many things rush through his brain and he feels the blood streaming through his veins. His heartbeat is almost as loud as the cars passing by him. 
There is something he overlooked, something he completely disregarded in all of this. 
00:30 
“A twist of fate, On the destined date...” as soon as he reads out the remaining line, a sharp pain shoots through his arm. When he looks down, he sees the timer pulsating on his wrist.  
He grabs the edge he is sitting on as tightly as he can so he doesn’t fall off. He turns himself around and lets himself fall down on the concrete beside him. His hands are trembling uncontrollably and his breathing is staggered. There it is, the answer he has been looking for this entire time. Written in the same golden letters as your name and the clock. 
“Kim Jungwoo” 
He was the one fated to be yours.
00:20 
He gets up and sprints down as fast as he can, wishing with all that he has that you’re still waiting for him. 
00:10 
He arrives in front of the café but you aren’t there. He goes inside but you aren’t sitting at the many tables in the shop either.  
His wrist feels like it’s on fire and his lungs could give in at any moment, but he keeps running with the winter air hitting his face.  
00:05 
The tears running down his eyes disappear into the void before they reach the ground. He feels himself go weaker by the minute. Even his skin looks almost invisible. 
The bus stop is his last hope, it’s the only place he can think of and he so hopes he is right. The sounds around him start to quiet down and his surroundings become hazy. 
But he sees you so clearly. Standing at the bus stop like the very first time he saw you. 
“Y/n” he calls out with the last bit of energy he has left. 
00:00 
You turn around but there is no one. Only the occasional car passes by. The streets are as empty as you feel at the moment. For a slight second, you thought someone called your name, that he called your name. Maybe you just hoped for it... 
-- 
One year later 
“It’s that time of the year again everyone, love is in the air! And while this is a very happy day that we spend with a loved one, we’d like to remember the ones that no longer are with us. As they too deserve to be loved on a day like this. I’d first like to mention the devastating bus accident that happened exactly 5 years ago where a high school student named Kim Jungwoo, tragically left us after being hit by bus 32 while crossing the road. May he rest in peace and the people still mourning for him be given the strength to keep going forward. The second case we’d like to remember today...” 
You wipe away the tear running down your cheek while the radio beams through the bus. You're not even paying attention to what they're saying as you look at the seat next to you that is still empty. No matter how much time passes, there doesn’t go a day by where you don’t hope that he will get on and sit next to you. Tell you he is sorry for being late and flash you that smile you love so dearly. 
When you check the time on your phone, the photo you took of him is staring back at you. And a small smile appears on your face. “I’ll see you in a bit...” you whisper. 
After searching for so long, you found out where he went. For a long time, you tried to forget about him but you couldn’t. So, you searched for him everywhere. You resented him but you loved him. You couldn’t just let go thus you found him eventually... 
After ringing the bell you get off at the cemetery. 
You make your way through the different rows of headstones while you clutch the flowers tightly to your chest.  
You see a man standing at the place you were looking for. He keeps apologising for something and tears keep running down his cheeks. Eventually, you see him drop to his knees while letting out an agonizing scream. 
The sound of pure heartbreak in his voice is too much for you so you start crying with him as you can’t hold yourself back. 
After what seems forever you approach him and lay down the flowers in your hands.  
“Are you here for Jungwoo?” he asks you with a broken voice 
You slowly nod as you wipe your eyes. 
“Are you a family member? Oh, I’m sorry if I’m overstepping...” 
“No, I’m his best friend...”  
“Doyoung?”  
He looks up at you with a surprised expression on his face. “Do I know you?” 
“Jungwoo told me all about you” you explain. 
Doyoung looks at the headstone in front of him with a pained expression on his face. 
“Did he mention how I’ve been an awful friend?”  
You shake your head slightly and say, “actually he spoke very highly of you. He told me you were always there for him. And that he was glad he was able to meet a friend like you.” 
The tears keep falling down his face. 
“I don’t deserve to be remembered like that. Not- not after what I did to him...” 
“I’m sure he thinks differently. He never once spoke badly about you. He never spoke badly about anyone, to begin with...” 
“He didn’t...he loved a lot, too much sometimes.”  
“So, you shouldn’t talk about yourself like this, he wouldn’t have wanted it.” 
Slowly but surely, you both fall into a deep conversation about the one you held so dearly to your heart. 
“Could you tell me what happened, please?” you ask unsurely 
Doyoung takes a deep breath and looks down at his hands on his lap. 
“He got bullied all throughout high school. There was no reason for it but they never stopped...Jungwoo never liked conflict so he would just bear all of it on his own. I tried to be there for him whenever but in senior year this new girl joined and he suddenly changed. Jungwoo caught feelings for her and that just added to everything. She was part of that group and when word got out that he liked her, the bullying became worse. There were days he would end up in the hospital but even then, it didn’t matter to him because she cared about him. But that wasn’t the case because she is the reason he isn’t here anymore.” 
A fresh set of tears start to roll down his face. 
“He didn’t believe she had bad intentions. I-I should have stopped it....it was valentine’s day just like today, a few days before his birthday when she asked him to come help her because she was stuck at school. I warned him not to believe her and asked him not to go...but I didn’t stop him when he insisted. He said he just wanted to check if she was safe...I don’t know what happened inside but when I went after him, he was already running out while crying...he didn’t look good; they had hurt him. Then-then...he ran across the street...I was too late...I let it happen before my eyes...” 
You stroke his back in an effort to comfort him even though you barely can compose yourself. 
A heavy silence, only broken with an occasional snuffle settles in. 
“How did you know him?” you hear him ask after a while. 
“We both took the same bus home every day so we met naturally; it was spring when I saw him for the first time. I can’t believe it’s been a year already...It feels like yesterday when I went up to him-” 
Doyoung looks at you with a confused expression on his face, “What do you mean a year? Jungwoo has been gone for five years already...” 
You feel as if time has stopped yet again, your hands feel clammy and your head can’t comprehend what he is telling you.  
“That’s not possible...I even took this photo of him” you take out your phone again with shaky hands. But when you look down at your screen to show him, your phone falls out of your hand. 
He is no longer there.
146 notes · View notes
jaembilog · 1 year
Text
bugso – pt. 1
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bugso /bug·soʔ/ ngalan. biglaang pagmamadali; pagsabog (ng ulan, hangin, bagyo, apoy, sakit, atbp.) biglaang pagsiklab; matindi (ng damdamin)
character: boyfriend!jungwoo x reader
genre: angst
a/n: written in tagalog and english. this is merely a sliver of my imagination. the fictional character in this story do not, in any way, represent any idol. and nobody deserves to be in a relationship where they feel unloved. :)
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gustong-gusto mong sinusuot ang mga damit ni jungwoo, lalo na ang mga hoodie niya. imposible naman kasing kayanin ng isang layer lang ng damit ang lamig ng silid-aralan ninyo. iba pa ang comfort na dulot ng mga damit niya; parang ramdam mo ang mga yakap niya sa lambot at bango.
parehas niyong hindi alam kung ilang damit na niya ang nasa cabinet mo, at sa totoo lang, wala ka namang pake dahil hindi naman din niya hinahanap.
'yon ang akala mo.
sa punto de vista ni jungwoo, medyo nakakairita na ang gawain mong ito. ang mga paborito niyang suotin ay unti-unti nang nawawala. iniisip niya na kung magpapatuloy ang ganito, wala na talagang matitira sa kaniya. kaya naman naisipan niyang pagsabihan ka tungkol dito.
kausap mo ang mga kagrupo mo tungkol sa isang group activity nang maramdaman mong nagvibrate ang cellphone mo sa kaliwang bulsa ng iyong pantalon. napangiti ka naman agad dahil alam mong si jungwoo ito.
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nawala saglit ang iyong kilig at napalitan ng kaba. pero sinubukan mong huwag mag-isip nang masyado at nagreply na lang.
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nagkita kayo ni jungwoo sa ground floor malapit sa entrance ng cafeteria. "ang daming tao," isip mo. napalingon naman agad sa'yo ang nobyo mo, sabay higit sa'yo papunta sa gilid niya at inakbayan ka naman nito agad. napalakas pala ang pagkakasabi mo.
pagkatapos niyong pumila para bumili ng kakainin ninyo, agad naman kayong umupo sa usual spot niyo sa cafeteria. "kumusta exam mo kanina?" tanong mo agad sa kaniya, alam mo kasing ilang araw na niyang pinaghahandaan ang long exam nila sa isang professional course.
"ok lang," maikli niyang sagot, sabay tuloy sa pagnguya.
ni hindi ka man lang tiningnan, ang cold pa ng pagsagot. ano kayang problema nito? tumagilid naman ang ulo mo na para bang nagpapacute, sabay subok ulit na kausapin siya. "ang lambot nitong hoodie mo, baka pwedeng akin na lang?" biro mo sa kaniya.
"bakit, sa lahat ba ng hiniram mo may binalik ka na? kulang na lang iuwi mo buong cabinet ko, nahiya ka pa. pwede bang kumain ka na lang? nakakapagod ka."
nakakapagod ka. nakakapagod ka. nakakapagod ka.
paulit-ulit ang sinabi ni jungwoo sa utak mo. hindi mo alam kung paano ka magrereact o sasagot man lang. akala mo kasi natutuwa siya tuwing suot mo ang mga gamit niya. nabanggit niya kasi noon na kinikilig siya tuwing may ginagamit kang kaniya, dahil para bang pwedeng-pwede niyang ipagmayabang sa iba na ikaw mismo ay pagmamay-ari niya.
nagulat din ang nobyo mo sa mga salitang lumabas sa bibig niya. pero hindi na rin niya alam kung paano ito babawiin, dahil kung meron mang paligsahan pagdating sa pataasan ng pride, baka tanghalin pa siyang kampyon. wala ka nang narinig sa kaniya kaya tumungo ka na lang at binilisang ubusin ang pagkain mo habang pinipigilang maiyak sa harap niya at ng sandamakmak na tao sa loob ng cafeteria.
naunahan mo siyang matapos kumain kaya tumayo ka na agad. hindi mo alam kung tama bang iwanan mo lang siya sa lamesa pero hindi mo na kayang magtagal pa dahil baka maiyak ka pa at maging topic pa ng mga chismoso't chismosa niyong schoolmates. agad ka namang dumiretso sa restroom at hinubad ang hoodie niya. maigi na lang at walang ibang estudyante sa loob dahil nakakahiya kung maririnig nila ang mga hikbi mo. pagkatapos mo ay dumiretso ka sa sink para ayusin ulit ang sarili at maghilamos ng mukha.
maayos mo namang tinupi ang hoodie ni jungwoo at nilagay ito sa locker niya. matapos nito, bumalik ka na rin agad sa classroom niyo.
pagkatapos kumain ni jungwoo, dumiretso rin siyang restroom nila at naghilamos na rin ng mukha. nahimasmasan siya at naisip niyang dapat inayos niya ang pagsabi sa'yo. pero wala na, huli na, nasaktan ka na niya nang sobra.
nang kukunin na niya ang textbook niya para sa next period nila, tumambad sa kaniya ang hoodie na kanina lang ay suot-suot mo. kanina nung nakangiti ka pa at masayang sinusubukan na makipag-usap sa kaniya. nagambala ang iniisip niya nang makatanggap siya ng text mula sa'yo.
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he fucked up, big time. at alam niyang mahihirapan siyang mabuo ang winasak niyang self-esteem mo.
pt. 2 here !
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rosewould · 2 years
Text
cynics; jns
part iii
masterlist
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words; 1.8k
genre; angst 
warnings; making out, vulgar language, insecurity in your appearance, gross description of rotting food
preface; this one is short I’m so sorry. It felt fitting to end this part there. 
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"Where the fuck is Taeyong?" Lucas spat. "He has my truck."
"Bro, he said he was gonna be late." YangYang replied in a calm voice.
The boys complain and bicker back and forth as Johnny focuses on the rotted fruit in the corner of his room. Maggots, gnats, and ants were having a field day with what remained. He had forgotten what fruit it was. All that was left was a puddle of rancid black goo. He didn't have the stomach to clean it up.
"Johnny, call Taeyong since he's ignoring my calls." Lucas requested, kicking his feet onto Johnny's coffee table. He pulls a cigarette from a red carton before lighting it inside his mouth. Johnny shook his head. If Lucas didn't listen to him the fifty other times he asked him not to smoke inside his house, why would he listen on the fifty-first?
Johnny whips out his phone, clicking on Taeyong's contact. The phone rings for what felt like an eternity of Lucas yelling about if he picked up yet. When Taeyong does pick up, he can hear crying in the background. Johnny sighs.
"What?"
"I'm guessing Nayeon is coming again?" Johnny asks in a monotone voice.
"Nayeon's there? Here, give me the phone." Lucas's entire demeanor changes at the mention of Taeyong's girlfriend. He pushes himself off the couch with a grunt before making his way toward Johnny.
"I'm sorry, I only have one band-aid."
Johnny's heart stops when he hears your voice.
"One second." Taeyong pulls the phone away and debates with you about who should get the band-aid. Johnny can feel his blood pressure rise.
"Okay fine, she can have it. I'll use tape."
"Let me talk to him." Johnny panics as Lucas stands over him with an outstretched arm. "Why are you just staring? Give me the phone."
Lucas reaches for the phone but Johnny pulls away.
"What're you doing? He needs his truck back." Doyoung tries to reason with Johnny. If Lucas finds out you're hanging out with Taeyong, who knows what would happen. Johnny covers the microphone before whispering.
"You don't want to hear this. I think he answered while he was fucking Nayeon."
"What?!" shouts Taeyong, loud enough that he and Lucas could hear.
"Wait now I really want to hear." Lucas snatches the phone from Johnny's hand.
"You guys just started dating and you already hit? My man." Lucas's loud and obnoxious laugh thunders throughout the room, being echoed by the other guys. Johnny chuckled nervously. Taeyong was gonna kill him.
-
You walk into Jungwoo's apartment with an arm full of snacks. Jungwoo unloads a few, placing them on the counter. Jisoo looks at the two of you excitedly.
"We haven't been able to hang out in ages. I'm pumped." Jisoo stands from the couch and runs towards the counter. Jungwoo wraps his arms around both of you, planting a kiss on both of your cheeks.
"Both of my girls. Now that we're all together... can we...?" Jungwoo trails off before Jisoo hits his arm.
"If you ask that one more time I'll kick you in the shin." You warn as you carry a bag of chips to the couch.
"There she is! ___ hasn't threatened me in months." says a proud Jungwoo.
"It seems like longer than that. I've been noticing that you're getting back to your old self as well." Jisoo looks at you in admiration. "So proud." She pouts as she wipes away an imaginary tear.
Even after that setback, you still felt that your decision was a good one. Let them replace you, who cares? You still have Jisoo, Jungwoo, Mark, and Taeyong as well. Friends and a lover who don't see you as the sensitive fat girl.
You felt immensely comfortable settled between the two of them as Jungwoo played his new video game. He invited both of you over to celebrate finally getting it. It was nice to see him so happy. This was nice.
Jungwoo nudges your shoulder and you look at him. He nods his head towards Jisoo. To your right, Jisoo is fast asleep, a bowl of chips on her lap. You both chuckle quietly.
"So I'm guessing your friendship with Mark is blossoming?" Jungwoo whispers.
"Yes it is, he hugged me. Can you believe that?"
He pauses his game to look at you, awestruck.
"Mark Lee?"
You nod enthusiastically. He didn't need to know that it was because you were crying after Nayeon left.
"I'm so happy to hear that. I'll tell Jisoo we need to follow him back on social media. How about Taeyong?"
Your face falls, and he notices.
"What did that prick do this time?" Jungwoo rests a hand on your shoulder.
"He's not a prick! He's not single anymore, either." Your voice gets quieter as you reveal the sad truth. Jungwoo rubs circles into your shoulder with his thumb as you pull up a picture.
"Her name is Nayeon." You show it to him and he takes your phone.
"Woah, she's gorgeous."
Your heart drops. No matter how much you try to convince yourself that it's not that big of a deal, you still can't help but be hurt.
"Don't worry about it, honey. He didn't deserve you anyway. Plus, it's his loss not choosing you." He moves his hand up to your face, caressing your cheek. You gaze into his eyes, frozen as your heartbeat thumps harder against your chest.
You crawl over him before connecting your lips to his. You caress his face with both hands. Soft, velvety lips caress yours, making your body tingle. He moves his hands to your waist. With each passing second, the kiss gets more heated. You feel his heartbeat against your chest as he squeezes you against him. You pull away and look down at his disheveled appearance. He looks back at you, breathless and with a hungry but dazed look on his face.
"Jungwoo..." You look away, embarrassment setting in as he stares at you.
"Hm?"
"Do you think she's-"
"Stop." Jungwoo grabs your face and brings it closer.
"Yes she's pretty, but she's conventional. The popular opinion." Jungwoo starts, and you're feeling even more embarrassed.
"You? You're different. You're beautiful in a way-" Jungwoo freezes when he notices your face fall even more. He sighs. "I know what you want. You want the reaction Nayeon gets whenever people see her. She gets that reaction because of centuries of conditioning. Nayeon turns heads because magazines told people to react that way." Jungwoo slowly strokes your cheek with his thumb.
"It took centuries to make Nayeon pretty, but it took one look at you for my breath to be taken away." He smiles softly as tears well in your eyes. "No conditioning needed."
The way his lips felt against yours after he said something so touching was inexplicable. You felt an ever-present warmth as you embraced each other.  
"Thank you."
-
As you looked in the mirror, you smile. It felt nice to finally wear the set that had been collecting dust in your closet. You straighten your purse strap before walking out of the bathroom.
"I'm ready." You take Jisoo's hand with a big smile. She returns one, eyes crinkling.
"Do you want some boba?"
"Hmm..." You think to yourself as the both of you walk to the car. "I'm actually craving StayC's."
"Ooh, that's a good idea."
You part ways to get in on either side of your car. You travel what some may consider an unreasonable distance, but those people haven't had StayC's. Plus, with you and Jisoo belting bubblegum pop like no one's listening, it was at least an eventful trip. The two of you clear your throats as you exit the parked vehicle.
"What're you getting?" Jisoo asks as she pushes open the door. You enter behind her.
"I'm thinking an Americano. Or maybe-" You freeze as you pick up your head. Your smile fades when you see Johnny in the distance.
"Shit. Should we go somewhere else." Jisoo spins around, feet pointed towards the door. There's a chance that Johnny will strike up a conversation and you had nothing to say to him. You weren't exactly fired up to make a scene or put him in his place either. It'd just be awkward, and you'd probably end up being nice as a result of it. As you debate whether to stay or go, Johnny looks back and locks eyes with you.
The soft sadness in his eyes brings back memories.
"___, I don't wanna go back in there." Johnny hugs himself, looking at the floor he was sitting on.
"Johnny get up! I'm tired of letting them win! If we just go out there and show them that we don't care what they think then we can eat in the cafeteria again!" You were huffing wildly. Seeing that they hurt Johnny's feelings always made you that way. You wished they'd just make fun of you.
"Can't we... can't we just eat in here?" Johnny finally looks up and your heart shatters into a million pieces. Just by looking at his eyes, you could tell how emotionally exhausted he was. Your demeanor softens as you crouch in front of him.
"If only I could stop them from ever making you sad again."
Feeling powerless, you collapse to your knees onto the granite tiles. Your bottom lip trembles as tears stream down your cheeks.
"I gonna make you smile again." He hugs your shoulders, tears seeping through your shirt.
You kept your promise. You introduced him to Taeyong, and soon you both were able to eat in the cafeteria again. And after all that, all you've been through, he's okay with taking your smile away.
"No, we're getting StayC's."
You grab Jisoo's hand and get in line.
"We're ignoring him." You state calmly, keeping your eyes forward. Jisoo glances at him before facing the menu.
"Let's both get frapps."
"That sounds so good." Jisoo rubs her hands together. "With whipped cream too." Jisoo looks at you and you nod.
"Now I'm excited. Their whipped cream is so rich. I haven't had it since I started high school." Your smile is wide as you rummage through your purse.
"I'll cover both of us, 'Soo."
It's been a while since you felt so free. Like a bird out of a cage.  If this is what it felt like to surround yourself with people who love you, you don't understand why you didn't do it sooner. If only you had a time machine.
"Um..."
You hear Johnny's voice beside you and your happiness falters. You feared that he was trying to rope you back in, and the chance that it might just work with the right amount of remorse.
It won't change. Remember that.
"Yes, Johnny." You say, patience running thin already.
"I know that we're not friends anymore, but I just thought I should warn you that the others know you've been secretly hanging with Mark and Taeyong."
The both of you turn to face Johnny.
"What?! They promised not to tell you guys!"
Johnny really felt hurt that you didn't want him to know, but deep down he understood why. He clenched his jaw.
"They didn't. I heard you in the background when I called Taeyong."
He pauses, clenching his drink before continuing. You furrow your eyebrows as you assume the worst. He wouldn't tell them and come report it to you as if he didn't cause the mess. He may have been an asshole, but he wasn't evil. And he clearly doesn't look jealous. Just regretful... and tired.
"The others... they found out because of Nayeon."
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gyuswhore · 1 year
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hello :) do you know anyone who would write about jungwoo?
i would literally pay for someone to write about jungwoo by perfume!
with a enemies to lovers or bestfriend to lovers with some smut, angst and fluff ,,, happy ending of course 😭
college setting? hm for angst part let it happen at a party yn sees jungwoo with another girl? something along those lines?? 😭
i would pay 20 like i'm serious esp if it's like over 10k pls
Im not taking requests rn but im replying so maybe someone can help you find one bc I haven't read any jungwoo fics like that!!!
If anyone has any recs for this anon pls let us know <3
or if anyone will write one for 20 lol
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rosietaeyongswife · 2 years
Text
hello | kim jungwoo
HELLO PARING: kim jungwoo x reader GENRE: angst, break up, lovers to exes to strangers, WC: 6,5k SUMMARY: jungwoo loved you from the bottom of his heart and you shattered his soul into pieces. it took you about two years to collect yourself and try to say sorry for your actions but jungwoo isn’t avaible anymore no matter how much you’d try. it’s seems like he never home and it’s getting on your nerves. TW: tba READ HERE TBA
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 jungwoo. whenever you pass around some places in south korea, and you get to hear ‘jungwoo’, your heart drop everytime. even if so much time passed from your last meeting, nothing can change the way you react for him. six years passed. six in total since break up. eight since you knew jungwoo. being eighteen was crazy when you think about back in time. being a teenager was crazy for you because you had no idea what’s coming to your life.
 little, innocent and young y/n wouldn’t believe that kim jungwoo was intrested in her at all. boy who back then was in his emo phase, made a lot of herts shake with only once glance. his eyes were always full of stars as you could call that. kim jungwoo held whole universe in them and no one was complaining tho. even if everyone was crushing jungwoo, his eyes were focused on you and only you. 
“don’t you think he just simply hate you, y/n?” miyeon asked while she was making coffee for you two in her house. miyeon and chaeyoung were the ones you always go for advice in everything, also they’re the ones who knows about jungwoo. “i know for you it’s such a big deal but he moved on for sure. and he hates you. don’t want to hear your voice and shit.”
“i mean, i’d hate you too if i was him. you left him because of children and your co-called life plan. i still think jungwoo didn’t deserve that at all.”
“i was dumb back then, alright?” you frowned at her. “it was difficult time for me. i was twenty when we started dating and twenty two when we broke up. it was hard time in my life, i didn’t know what i expected. i wanted to study in sydney, i got in. i had to leave.” girls shook their heads. “also, i don’t want children. not even one child. jungwoo always wanted to be a dad someday but i didn’t. why would i be with him if-”
“jungwoo loves you for four years. he loved you the second both of you had conversation, y/n. two years relatonship fucked up because you decided to leave for sydney. we respected your choice but haven’t you thought of jungwoo? you had boyfriend here, in seoul. and you decided to go.”
 that was truth. you planned to move out to sydney and live there. you wanted to become succesfull and plan didn’t include feelings. you tried to ask jungwoo to move with you but he wasn’t willing to do so.
“y/n, are you kidding me? you’re joking, right?” as jungwoo saw your reaction he brushed his hair back and laughed sarcastically. “we’re in a relationship and you’re going to leave me here because of sydney? didn’t you think about me? after everything i’ve done for you?
“jungwoo, i have family there. my uncle can help me in growth and job. i can grow there and do what i have to do. i love you that’s why i am asking you to come with me. i don’t want to leave you here.”
“y/n, you sound crazy. i have family here. job here. friends here. everyone is here.” jungwoo was looking at you with glance of something you couldn’t quite describe. “i don’t get it why would youu apply for university there. didn’t you think about me?”
“i was busy with my dre-”
“so you did not think of me at all.” look of dissapointment was all over his face. jungwoo was sensitive person and he knew he can no go longer. “you also have family here. why sydney?”
“more opportunities? i want to be succesfull, jungwoo. i don’t have time for kids, marriage or boyfriend if it means being able to do what i want. i can not and will never put you above my expetations.”
 you didn’t even notice when your words slipped through your lips striaght across jungwoo. first time jungwoo had heard such a cruel words from someone. from someone he loves. he gave you everything you needed and always showed you love. he did his best to make you happy and now you’re telling him, he’s not as important as it seems. 
“fuck you, y/n. you played with my feelings for what? i gave you my time and myself because i love you, and here you are telling me your dreams are more important than your own boyfriend. don’t you fuckin care about my feelings?”
“fuck me? no, go fuck yourself.” you hissed through your teeth. “i love you but it doesn’t mean i have to think of you whenever i want to make any kind of decission. who the fuck you think, you are? a fuckin god?”
“me? you’re most narcisstic bitch i have ever seen.” he now was pissed off. “you’re only focusing on yourself. you only love yourself. you even talk about yourself. when was last time you asked me ‘how are you’? you talk about yourself whole damn time. everyone has issues but not you. they are the problem but not you.” he was walkng closer to you with his finger pointing out on you. “even your friends are tired of you. i tried to act like i can’t see it but it’s impossible. egoistic, dumb bitch. that;s who you are.”
“i am narcisstic? you have issue just because i have high self esteem? i am confident?” you slapped his finger off. “maybe if i cared about you, i’d ask. don’t you think? and yes, everyone else has issues, not me. i am very thoughtfull but why would i be one towards someone who’s just person i spend some time with?”
“person i spend some time with?” he mocked you with sacrisstic tone. “i see two years of dating was just fun to you. you know, to have someone to have sex with or just to spoil you. i understand, my bad.” he turned around to grab his keys. “i wish you could see how in love with yourself you are. even your fuckin mother told you that so many times. where were you when she needed your help? in a fuckin pub down the seoul. that’s you, y/n.” angry tears went to his eyes. “i’m leaving. when i’ll be back better your thing won’t be there or i’ll put them on fire or throw through the window.”
“be careful to not come back to burned down house. fuckin asshole.”
 bang of closing door was heard and all you could do was to punch someone across the face and make them cry. no one in your life has ever made you so mad as you were in that moment, even when you had few spicy arguments. 
 rage took over you as soon as you remember all the mean things jungwoo has told you just few minutes earlier. without thinking much you destroyed frames with your pictures together, cups and few plates. taking all your things, you left his place and him forever.
“go fuck yourself kim jungwoo, you’re nothing without me.”
“i was just dumb back then. i didn’t think straight-”
“but all the words you aimed at him were cruel.” miyeon frowned. “jungwoo really didn’t deserve that kind of treatment and everybody know it. not gonna lie, even your parents thought the same when they met jungwoo and he told them everything.”
“stop making me villain again.” you rolled your eyes. “he was first one to call me names. i didn’t call him “narcistic bitch” or “seflish bitch in love with herself”. he was the one throwing them at me.” you were trying to defend yourself but it wasn’t enough. “besides, if he didn’t want to leave seoul why would he move to states? like, i don’t get it.”
 kim jungwoo decided to end his major in mechanical engineering here in south korea but fast forward after, he moved to united states with johnny suh, jung jaehyun and mark lee, as if their families lived there. jungwoo left two years ago. year after your come back from australia.
“propably he just grew up.” chaeyoung took a sip of wine. “i am not trying take a side, but y/n. you were the meanest bitch back then, for real. i still remember how you acted towards boys and people our age.” it was truth. you weren’t the nicest young adult. “jungwoo in fact didn’t deserve hell you put him through. moving to states gave him more opportunities.”
“well, i guess i’ll still gaslight myself into thinking i wasn’t too much for him.” you lied to yourself again for a hundreadth time. “nevermind. fuck my closure, i guess my brain just wants attention or something.”
 that was big, fat lie out of your mouth. mention of jungwoo made your evening ruined. the last thing you wanted was to have a lovely conversation with your friends about your ex, and how bad you treated him. of course, you knew it all. 
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 few yaers passed and your stupid mind couldn’t get jungwoo out of itself. it was like karma was haunting you down for your past and what did you do to poor boy. at first, when you left to sydney right after fight with jungwoo, you thought he wasn’t really important to you. that he was just boyfriend you didn’t have feelings for, but you were wrong at so many levels. 
 months passed by, and your heart ached for jungwoo. whatever you have done, you were reminded of jungwoo. passed by shop - “jungwoo would love that”. movies, posts, music, shops, people - everyone was like jungwoo to you. after three months post break up, you were sure - you made big mistake. huge mistake. you loved him. kim jungwoo was loved by you, when you didn’t know it.
 six years after, and you still here at the same spot. trying to date? no way. whatever you tried, somehow everything ended due to your feelings. it felt so wrong to be in love with someone else without proper conversation with your beloved jungwoo. 
“good morning, mrs y/n? right?” woman with huge amount of accesories welcomed you in her small house at the weird neighbourhood of seoul. slowly you started to regret coming to tarot reader medium your friend recommended for you. “come here my love. sit down, please.”
“good morning.”
 whole place has very much of colour into it. paintins of weird creartures or of sun were all around the house. even tho it could look scary, you felt comfy.
“what brings you here, love?”
“i need advice or something.” it was embarrasing for you to confess. “i mean, i had no clue what to do and my firend sent me here. she told me you are like goddes. every answer you had given became true, so here i am.” you chuckled. “so.. i made a huge mistake six years ago.”
“six years? that can seem like much time but remember, time is just gift to us. it doesn’t matter. it’s never too late.” she smiled at you with comfort smile. “go on. what happened six years ago?”
“i had a boyfriend. lovely, puppy like boyfriend. he was with me for two years, and to be honest.. my boyfriend was like guy from books written by women. he was perfect.” thought of jungwoo and your past made you warm inside. “he loved me so much and i broke his heart. i choose career over him, i moved out from south korea to sydney. i left him. i was really mean to him back then since i wasn’t the nicest person.” she was looking at you with intrest boiling out her eyes. “i had no clue of my real feelings. i thought i didn’t love him that much but few months passed and i was crying myself to sleep because i missed him.”
“love, so do you want closure?” you nodd. “i think karma get the best of you. for your past, cruel actions you had to face punishment which was revealing of your feelings.” she was busy looking for cards and few others things. “should we see what your ex feels, love? about you? i’ll try to shuffle cards and let’s see what message he has for you.”
 in fact, you had never ever believed in tarot or other witchcraft practices but as soon as she told you about message from him through the cards, you felt excitment going through your whole body ready for answers. 
 after solid five minutes of shuffling, lighting up candles and some thinking, she was done with cards. she was looking at them carefully.
“i see your boyfriend is older, not much though. is it true?”
“yes, jungwoo is like one and half year older.”
“he moved out as well? i see him connected to western.” she said while having close eyes. 
“few years ago he moved out to states.”
“i see him being fully succesfull in his job. i see something conncected to physics and mathematics, is he engineer? or informatics? software engineer?”
“jungwoo studied mechanical engineering.”
 thrill of excitment went down your core as soon as she spoke, she knew everything for now and wasn’t wrong. how was that possible? instead of being scared you got invested into whole reading feeling sudden rush of fullfiling whatever she will tell you to do.
“i can see he loved you the most in the world back in the time. jungwoo was focused only on you, and i can see both of you were unusual couple. maybe one of you was quite popular? both even tho you were different, you got together. universe wanted you two together.”
“that’s truth actually.”
“i want you to know that his feelings were sincere. you were on top of his list of needs. he always put you first no matter what.” you nodded again with small smile. “now i see he is very succesfull and he lives his best life. i can see he’s very popular with people. everyone knows him and adores him because of his personality. it’s like he is a magnet.” she was closing her eyes harder. “few years passed but jungwoo still have a strong feelings towards you. i can not tell if it’s negative ones or positive ones since both are crazy strong.”
“does it mean he still thinks about me?”
“you can say so. it’s seems like he doesn’t want to admit to himself he still has place in his heart for you even after all you have done. jungwoo would like to meet you but at the same time he hates it. seems like he is conflicted with it.” she was now looking deep into your eyes. “i see that someone got intrested in him as well. someone is on their way for him.”
“someone?”
“yes. i think jungwoo pretends like he hates you because it’s makes him feel better but deep down he needs closure like you do. i suggest for you to meet.”
“meet? he lives in chicago, and i don’t know. i have job here.” you were thinking quickly. “i can-”
“but you should.” she stood up. “stars, cards and even my thoughts are telling me the same thing. go find him and talk. i feel second chance in the air. it’s seems like he had never fully grew out of feelings for you.”
 chaeyoung was looking at you like you gone crazy. packing your stuff into the suitcase while looking for the fastest flight to the chicago made your friends worry. yes, they suggested you to go to mrs. xieon but they didn’t expect you to go all the way to the united states just to find jungwoo and have a talk.
“i’ve contacted him about hundread times and he didn’t respond. if he’s not home, here.” you got up. “then i’ll find his new home. don’t ask me anymore questions. i’m going to the states and i’ll find kim jungwoo by myself.”
“y/n, you can’t believe in everything some witch told you.” miyeon was looking concerned and tried to stop you. “she could made it all up.”
“but she knew everything from the past. everything, miyeon. doesn’t seem like a scam to me, you know.”
“you’re doing it impulsivly, stop and let’s talk.”
“i don’t want to talk.”
 without much more words, you were on your way to the airport. seems like universe sent you signs to do it. even when kim jungwoo would go mad when he will see you, it doesn’t change a thing for you to stop. you two have to talk.
 streets of chicago were full of people walking fast. cars going one by one, and shouting of music or people could be heard all the way from the end of the steet. chaos didn’t stop you. hotel you are staying in for two weeks was close to your liking. all the stuff you had was already in there and while you were sitting on your comfy bed, you were looking through sites of engineering companies in chicago. you went through all the lists of employes you found.
 hour later and his name was showing on the site of “JONES”. his, now, red hair and bubbly smile made you chuckle to yourself. seems like jungwoo was happy during that photoshoot, and damn. he looked hot as well. 
 company of JONES was big as hell. few building attachted together making it huge plalce for an engineering company. few people were walking out the place and some entering. going inside made you almost throw up because of stress.
“hello, uhm excuse me?” you asked anxious when some woman from reception looked at you with raised eyebrow. “i have a question.”
“hello. do you work here?”
“uhm, no-”
“client?”
“again no-”
“then who are you?”
“i am y/n, and i’d like to ask about your employe.” you looked around. “kim jungwoo.”
“are you relative? if not, then i can’t tell you anything.”
“i am old friend.”
“then, i am so sorry but i can not tell you anything.”
“please, it’s really important.” your eyes were close to cry and you were about to beg her for any informations. “i know you can’t tell much but i have to contact him somehow.”
she looked confused due to your state. it’s seems like it’s really important for you sicne you stand here with big eyes. she looked around to check if no one is listening to your conversation.
“i can not tell you anything about his data but.” she bowed closer. “kim jungwoo end his duty in a twenty minutes. everytime he is done with work he heads to our cafeteria for coffee. i guess you could caught him there and talk.”
“thank you so much, oh lord.”
 woman gave you small smile and went back to her work. going to the cafeteria you ordered small latte. few employes passed by having small talk while you were waiting. not even noticing when your heart was beating fast and you were shaking. anxiety went all over you because somehow you weren’t ready for his reaction.
 you looked up and for a moment time stopped. it’s him. kim jungwoo was walking to order his usual while he spotted you. jungwoo felt close to vommiting at your sight. few people were watching their co-worker who stopped and was looking into unknown direction. 
 never has ever jungwoo thought his nightmare would happen during his work. he wasn’t ready for such a meeting.
“what the fuck are you doing here?” jungwoo was now standing by you looking you deadly in the eyes trying to hold his emotions. “how and why did you find me?”
“we have to talk, jungwoo.”
“talk?” he scoffed. “after six years you want to talk? there’s nothing to talk about, y/n.”
“jungwoo, please.” you tried to smile but failed as soon as you lifted your corners of lips. “i know, i know how fucked up that is. i know what i did. of course, i do and i want to talk.”
 your ex boyfriend was looking at you in disbelief. it felt like someone was holding his throat tight and he was unable to breath properly.
“did you come here all across from seoul?” nodd you gave him was only giving him weak knees. “for what? we were done the second i left my flat back then. you treated me like a trash and expect me to have a nice talk?”
“i fuckin need it! we were literally fresh adults, alright? i wasn’t best person to have around, i fuckin know it but please! let’s talk.”
 jungwoo could only scoff and hide his hands into his pockets. after all the time that passed you did not reach to him once. when you left, you didn’t even say good bye or apologize.
“you can kiss my ass, y/n.”
“jungwoo-”
“don’t fuckin come here again or i tell security guards.” 
 before you were ready for response, he was out of your sight. tall figure of your ex was fading away as you sunk down on your sit letting out breath you had no clue you were holding. you didn’t expect such a behaviour from him. you really did mess up that time.
“i guess you’re y/n.” some man stood by you. “here’s jungwoo’s number. he won’t know you get it from me. let’s say it’s a gift.”
 man was out of sight again. you had no clue who was it and when it all happened. everyhting felt like a dream and you only wanted to disappear out of this world for a second. even that weird guy who gave you jungwoo’s number, who is he?
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feeling of embarrasment was going through you when you were sitting down on your bed looking at your phone. big letters “jungwoo” written on your screen as you were thinking of what to do. three days passed since you met him and it felt humilating to try to contact him. but if you don’t, you knew you won’t move on. you need to have closure with jungwoo. apologize to him and being forgiven.
“who’s there?” his voice already gave you chills. “hello?”
“hi, it’s me again.”
“gosh, y/n.” he scoffed. “how did you get my number?”
“it doesn’t matter. we still have to-”
“no, we don’t have to do anything. stop calling or i’ll report you for stalking.”
“wait, i am not done.”
“but i am.”
 call was ended. heavy breathing was making you dizzy from all that happened. again.
 jungwoo was avoiding you for his life. he even got some kind of paranoia of meeting you at whatever place he is. even his roommates - johnny and jaehyun, realized something is off. he couldn’t explain his feelings well. part of him waited few years for that moment, but other part hates you the most in the world. 
 you at the other hand can’t give up. mrs. xieon told you he still have strong feelings for you and it’s worth to try and fix your past. but it’s seems like everything is going in bad direction. how in the world are you going to have a normal talk with kim jungwoo?
“hi jungwoo.” your voice was soft. “i have no idea if you are going to listen to that voice message but i really do hope you will. last few days were harsh on me, i guess for you too. my sudden appearance was shocking, i know. and no, i am not stalking you. i can’t tell you how did i get your phone number but it’s quite funny.” small chuckle left your mouth. “it feels like i am teenager again. chasing after someone out of my reach. i didn’t know it felt like that, you know. i’d hate me too if i were you. that’s so fucked up, gosh. for you it’s propably doesn’t matter but for me it’s huge issue. my past karma get me.” you hissed at the memory of your actions. “i just need closure. i need to talk with you, and fix everything. be sorry. of course, i am sorry for everything i’ve done in the past.” with your shaking hands you reached for your phone to hang up. “i wish you happines. hope you’re doing fine. y/n.”
 red was pressed and phone call end. reliev was felt and you could feel bit better than past few days. all the things you kept in yourself was only making you dizzy. kim jungwoo won’t get rid of you easily.
 another few days passed like that. you woke up, eat, watch some netflix in a hotel, go out to buy something to drink, come back drunk and record your messages for jungwoo. weird kind of warmness was going through your body, it was like jungwoo already knew your whole life story from the break up towards today.
what could be more surprising was the fact jungwoo was listening to your voice messages. every night at the same hour, he lays down with his airpots and phone. getting comfortable, checking if he’s alone and he press play. experience was close to face to face converstion. he had no clue he enjoyed every single bit of second of your voice messages.
 every date you described or close moments together, brough him memories he had no clue he stored in his mind. at the other hand, you had no idea that jungwoo was listening to all your stories you told him through imessges. 
“hello jungwoo. my visit in chicago was already two months ago. crazy how fast it happened, right? i am not mad, of course, but deep down i had little bit of hope we’d meet. visiting all the places in there made me feel like 22 again. as i was turning back time.” you giggled while doing your tasks for work. “i don’t remember if i mentioned to you that i met your mum two years ago in a store. she asked me about you a lot. she even invited me over for a dinner but yeah, i couldn’t attend. she is still cute and youthful as i remember. hope you call her often. she misses you a lot from what i heard. even if you’re not responding to my messages..” smile creeped on your lips while thinking of him. “i feel better now. it’s like i explained a lot of things i had no chance to do back in times. i have to go. bye, y/n.”
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“y/n.” chaeyoung sat down on couch with hands full of snacks. “i thought you’re going to buy something else. why would you always buy things for yourself?”
“because she’s still selfish bitch.” miyeon mocked you while you could roll your eyes. “i am not even lying.”
seflish bitch only bring memories of him.
“because you’re horrible at picking food for us. my taste in food is the best and no one can complain about it. literally no one. if you had issue then you should go buy them yourself.”
“easy, i’m going to eat that anyway.”
 three of you are going to have sleep over at miyeon’s place. since everyone is busy with work, none of you could gather up together and spend some time. movies night seems cool for you so here you are. cozy with blankets and favorites snacks.
“damn.” miyeon paused movie ‘hangover’ whcih annoyed you quickly. “seunkwang is calling me.”
“then pick up.”
“don’t pick up.”
“y/n, stop.” she rolled her eyes. “i have to. wait.”
 seunkwang was miyeon’s fiance and of course, he was good boyfriend for miyeon and he really was great guy after all but whenever three of you hang out he is calling miyeon as crazy asking millions of questions even if it’s not necessary. 
“mama’s boy propably has issues with doing laundry.” you got up to use toilet while chaeyoung chuckled at your assumption.
“propably yes. seunkwang is just bad at basic things, you know.”
 you used toilet, checked instagram and text your co-worker, while miyeon was still busy with call. even chaeyoung got impatient with yours friend. as soon as phone call ended, miyeon came with grin on her face.
“i know we were supposed to have sleepover but seunkwang said he’s in that popular club with his other friends like mingyu, joshua and hoseok. c’mon, we should go with them. they’re really cool and rumour has it that three of them are single. perfect for you, girls.”
“i don’t care, we were supposed to spend time together, miyeon. seunkwang and you spend literally everyday together while we hang out once few weeks now. tell him and his ass friends to fuck off.”
“no.” chaeyoung got up. “let’s get fucked up.”
“chaeyoung-”
“we should have fun. we’ve been busy with work so much that we really didn’t have time for real fun like drinking and clubs. we’re going out.”
 and with that, two of your best friends and four of not known gusy are having fun at table of some big club at the street of gangnam. chaeyoung had fun talking with joshua while mingyu was trying hard to impress you.
“i work under my father business. we sell new technology around the world, and we’re pretty known overseas.” you could smile at his attempts of impressing you. “i enjoy my life and work to be honest. arragment of meetings, work with other countries and doing fun things. that’s dope.”
“i am glad you live your dream life. must be fun to be son of ceo.”
“of course it is. my father is literally the coolest person ever.”
 jungwoo stood in front of doors to your place with shaking body. his legs felt like cotton candy and hands were sweating as hell. normal conversation with you must be like a fever dream and no one was ready for it unless it was kim jungwoo himself. he had enough time to rethink every little thing you told him. he wants to get closure as well.
first knock, nothing. second, nothing. third.. four..
seems like you’re not home.
 look of disappointment was all over his face when he realized you’re not home. jungwoo came to south korea just day ago and tommorow is his flight back to chicago. there’s not much time left before his flight. 
“are you looking for y/n?” woman around her 30s’ was standing in a pink couth and bouqete of flowers in her hands while watching male in front of her. “i am her neighbour, by the way.”
“uhm, alright? yes, i am looking for her. is she in work or?”
“she’s out with her friends. i was texting with her for a while just thirty minutes ago.” she smiled. “she’s in a club with miyeon and chaeyoung. club in gangnam called ‘beaches’, i hope you know what i am talking about.”
“thank you so much.” he smiled at her. “i think i know where i should head to. again, thank you. you saved me actually.”
“no worries. glad to help.”
 without wasting much time, jungwoo was already on his way to the location your neighbour told him. club she mentioned was well known in a seoul and everyone hang out there with their friends and get really fucked up. being you, you always loved such a places like that club because you felt free thanks to them, and jungwoo was very aware of that.
 coming towards club was period of time when jungwoo was thinking of all scenarios that can possibly happen or words he should be using while talking with his ex. nothing could help him with stress he fult during moment. especially after all the events from past few months.
 big window of club revelaed you and some guy. he was wearing all black and you were laughing at whatever bullshit he was talking to you. jungwoo looked confused as hell because in none of your messages you metioned other boy. not like you have to but at leas he’d appreciate fact of you dating or whatever. 
even from afar, jungwoo could felt how drunk you are. through window he could notice your pinkish cheeks and that wide, gummy smile. guy who was with you, was busy with showing you something on his phone while you couldn’t focus much.
“y/n, i know that sounds dumb but you’re really cute.” mingyu was smiling from eye to eye. “can i possibly kiss you?”
 before you could anwer, all you felt was his lips on yours. everything happened way too quickly for you to react at whatever was going on. intentions of kissing someone else wasn’t on your bucket list for tonight.
 jungwoo felt embarrase and stupid. coming all across from united states for you just to see you with another guy wasn’t worth of dedication. at that specific momet he regret he listened to all of your voice messages. he should’ve blocked you from the start and don’t bother coming to seoul with good intentions. 
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morning hangover made you almost throw up. headache was so strong you felt like crashing your skull on some furniture or cutting it off. bedroom you were in wasn’t even yours and body next to you wasn’t even important.
“fuck, i am sorry.”
“are you leavin already?” mingyu looked over his shoulder. “you can stay and-”
“no, i have to go.” you smiled. “have a nice day, bye.”
 thankfully your apartament was close to mingyu’s place. going all over stairs made you dizzy because of hangover you still felt. as usally your neighbour passed by cause every morning at 9 am she’s heading to her work.
“oh, y/n.” she was smiling warmly at you. “did you and that boy meet? i hope he found you becacuse he looked very worried.”
“boy? excuse me, what are you talking about jieun?”
“so he didn’t?” she whined. “boy, very tall. around six foot maybe? very handsome with puppy eyes? he was looking really good and he smelled good but with a scent of cigarettes. seemed little bit like a teenager because of his appearance but i could tell he is much older.”
 all pieces get together in your head and your heart stopped at the moment.
“fuck, kim jungwoo.” 
“who?”
“nevermind. he was looking for me, right? did he tell you something else?”
“not really. he said something like i saved him and he’s in rush.”
 without responding to her or going all the way up to your apartament, you wend downstairs and called an uber already. if jungwoo’s still here, he must be at his mum’s house.
 knocking on the door of mr. kim house was making you stressed. you haven’t been here since break up.
“who-” jungwoo’s mum stopped in track. “y/n? what are you doing here?”
“is jungwoo home? i need to talk with him.”
“i’m sorry love. jungwoo left some time ago to airport. his flight home is in two hours and he have few things to do.”
“fuck.” you hissed. “thank you so much but do you know where he could be?”
“i guess he is in that small cafeteria. he isn’t going on a airplane without good coffee.”
“right. thank you.”
 jungwoo never seem to be home. whenever you called, visited or texted. he is out of your reach and that flustrates you. why is universe so harsh on you? you already apologize so many times yet nothing’s better rather opposite.
“kim fuckin jungwoo.”
 tall man next to you flinched because of sudden call for his voice.
“y/n? why are-”
“no, i am asking questions now. why were you looking for me?”
“huh?” he raised his eyebrows. “ah that. forget about that, that’s nevermind.”
“no, i won’t forget. tell me why.”
“it’s not important.”
“it is, damn. can you tell me? can we act like an adults not like a fuckin kids?”
“alright, alright. i was looking for you because i wanted to talk. i’ve been listening to your messages and i felt that strong desire to sit down and meet. closure i suppose.” he took a sip of his coffee. “but it doesn’t matter now.”
“what? why? we still have time. we can talk, c’mon jungwoo.”
“y/n, you already forget about all the texts you sent me.” he could shook his head. “i’ve seen you yesterday with some guy. seems like you had a good time which is cool, of course.”
 your heart ached suddenly. yesterday. good time. guy.
“mingyu? fuck, no. i was drunk shit and he just kissed me out of blue. i don’t really remember anything, it doesn’t matter.” you touched his hand. “can we talk? right now.”
“you see y/n. for a moment i was mad at myself for acting that way towards you. i was wrong for that but i still just can not process your change. old y/n i’ve known is gone now which is super good but also that means our connection is gone as well. there’s nothing more to talk about. fix things, that’s what you wanted?” you nodded while processing all the words that came out this man’s mouth. “then it’s done. i forgive you. our past is clear now. closure you wanted, right.”
 whole situation felt like a knife went down your heart destroying it to pieces. literally moment and things you waited so long for happened. your wish came true but why were you sad? why wasn’t it enough?
“jungwoo, we’ve been apart for a six years and that’s hella time. i wanted to talk about everything not about summary of our-”
“i don’t need more explenation of your behaviour. i don’t care now. i forgave you the moment you sent me first message. thank you.” all of sudden you were in jungwoo’s arms. “not hard feelings now. i should be sorry for anything i’ve said to you when you visited me at work. i was an asshole and i deserve solid slap for that. but since we’re good now, let’s leave past in the past. i don’t want to cry over spilled milk again.”
 his words made a lot of wounds on your heart which made you only sadder.
“cry over spilled milk?” you frowned. “you’re right but it doesn’t mean to be strangers again.”
“it’s better that way. hope you have what you wanted so bad.”
 jungwoo was trying hard to not fall and break the character. he couldn’t show you he’s weak and his real emotions. he had to be harsh on himself and you because he knew he can’t do it other way. left you there even tho he had much more to say.
 you were just speechless. closure you were craving made you ashamed. sad. disappointed. not exactly what you expected. dreaming of that moment was different comparing to the reality. how was that possible.
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 jungwoo was busy with work. he was doing everything to not think about you while you were disconnected with world. reality. meeting with your ex wasn’t good for you. small hopes you had was fooling you towards the end. 
kim jungwoo was holding his phone with a whine. small, red text was written on his screen as he was listening to all the messages you sent. with breaking heart he pressed “delete” then “block” knowing he did right thing.
“you can not contact that number”- appeared on your screen when you were going through messages with your ex. your ex lover and someone you regret loosing, kim jungwoo was done with you for best. little history of you two ended here.
25 notes · View notes
a-cupof-jo · 2 years
Text
[11:22 PM]
''MY HAND IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR BURGER. '' '' shit, fine, let's have a look... '' + Resident Doctor!Jungwoo
WC: 1.3k
Warnings: blood, swearing
~~~
“Go!” the window shattered behind you as you raced towards the idle car and man lounging inside of it, “Go, go, go, go, go,” the urgency in your voice rose as you slammed into the side of the car, your hand jerking quickly on the handle to get the door open. “Unlock the car!”
“I thought you wanted me to go,” Jungwoo cast a startled look as he attempted to get the car to turn over. “One or the other, you need to choose.”
You listened as the engine clicked once, twice, three times, but didn’t hum to life, ready to take charge for you. Jungwoo’s piece of shit had failed you one time too many, and now you were going to pay for it.
“Hey! You need to pay for that!” a voice rang out behind you. 
Risking a glance back, you saw your boyfriend, ex-boyfriend stomping out of the burger palace you had just fled. Glass crunched under his shoes as he stalked towards you.
There was no way in hell you were letting him catch up, or paying for the food that was currently being tossed about the bag in your hand. 
“Jungwoo get your pile of horse shit car to work,” you yelled as you jerked on the handle again. “Why won’t this stupind thing open?” 
“Don’t listen to her baby, she’s just upset,” Jungwoo ran his hand over the dashboard. His voice was meant to sooth, but the fact that he had turned it on for his car of all things irked you even more.
You let out a yell and pulled your hand back, curling the fingers tighter around the paperbag you swung forward letting your knuckles go through the glass of the window. Pain rippled up your wrist and arm as glass shattered, cutting into your skin and the passenger seat of Jungwoo’s car. 
Jungwoo looked at you in horror as you unlocked the door and lunged into the passenger seat.
“Stop gawking, drive!” You reached over, grabbing the gear shift as jerking it into drive.
Even if Jungwoo’s head wasn’t in it, his body had to have been. Turning the key over one last time you almost sobbed in relief as the engine sputtered to life. The car squealed forward and you braced your now bleeding hand against the dash. Angry voices followed you out of the parking lot and you knew you would never be able to go back to Salvey’s Diner. Not like you wanted to, their burgers weren’t that good, and if the waitstaff was going to be the same then…
“My poor baby,” Jungwoo wasn’t looking at you. No, his eyes were transfixed on the hole that was formerly known as the car's passenger side window. “Don’t worry, Brenda. We’ll get you fixed right up.” His fingers stroked, stroked, the steering wheel. 
You didn't know how to feel about that.
 A car in the opposite lane swerved out of the way as Brenda veered over the center line.
Okay, yes, you did.
“Jungwoo, pay more attention to the road. Less to your flaky girlfriend.” You said, thought it came out as more of a screech. 
He shot you a dirty look but straightened the car, “So you want to tell me why we are runned from Slavator Marone and the sunshine group.” His voice raised to reach you over the sound of the wind whistling through the car. 
“Not important right now, and we aren’t running from them.”
“You have blood running all over my precious Brenda. Not to mention you tried to destroy my burger and you want to tell me that we aren’t being chased.”
You tried to shrug off the incredulous tone, “I’m not the one they are going to have a problem with. I was just getting your burger.”
Jungwoo slammed on the brakes, making your body collide with the dash. Your hand and the bag full of fries and Jungwoo’s burger pinched between the car and you.
“My burger!” Jungwoo cast a horrified look your way as he pulled off to the side of the road. At least you had made it out of town. No one out there would question why two young adults were driving around with a broken window and an armful of bloody food.
“I don’t think that that should be your main concern right now,” you winced as you looked down at the blood covering your hand.
He hopped out the car and raced around opening yours, “Oh really, then what should be my concern? Why you came running out of one of the only diners in town while it looked like the inside was in the middle of a bar fight? Or why you couldn’t give me half a second longer to unlock the door and decided to punch out my window? Not only hurting my car, but also putting my burger in danger?”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but he was in there, serving tables. I tried to get in and get out, but then one of the older patrons started bickering with another one and he saw and then I was blamed for it and a full out brawl started,” you shoved the bag at him. You hoped his buns were soggy. “That’s when I finally got your stupid food an hightailed it out of there.”
“You put my burger in the crossfire of your awful ex and two drunk old men?”
“Ugh,” you shoved him away and stepped out of the car, preparing to walk back to your house. “Forget it. Enjoy your food.” Stalking away from him, you felt like there was one more thing to say, “JUST SO YOU KNOW, MY HAND IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR BURGER.” Gravel crunched under your feet as you stomped your way down the road.
You hadn’t made it more than five steps when a hand wrapped around your uninjured wrist,
Jungwoo pulled you around to look at him, his eyes soft with an apology, “You’re right. Shit, fine, let's have a look. Come back to the car.”
You shouldn’t have followed him back, but you did. He had been more worried about his car and burger than he had been about you. Hurt filled your system, but you knew that it would be easier to have a trained professional do it then try to fix up your hand by yourself.
“Dr. L/n, what do we have here?”
Fuck, he was making it a learning moment. 
“I don’t know, doctor, what does it look like to you?” You weren’t on the clock, you could be snarky at him.
“Do you want me to help?” he squeezed your hand harder than necessary.
“Not really.”
“Too bad.” He examined your hand and worked quickly to clean up the cuts with the tools he found in his emergency first aid kit. “Doesn’t look like you’ll need stitches, but I am going to wrap it to help stop the bleeding. Make sure you keep it clean.”
“Anything else?” you roll your eyes as he ties off the gauze. 
“Accept half of my burger and fries as a peace offering.’’ He said smiling sheepishly before reaching into the paper bag and grabbing half of his burger. He held it out to you as he grab a carton of fries, your carton of fries, out of the bag. 
You rolled your eyes at him, but patted the trunk of the car, letting him know he could sit next to you. 
“I’m still upset with you, you know.” you said through a mouthful of bread and meat.
“Oh, don’t worry, I am still upset with you too.” He brought a pile of firse to his lips and smiled, “but now we at least get to say that we were involved in a car chase.”
“But nobody was actually chasing us?”
“They don’t need to know that.”
“You’re trouble, you know that, Dr. Kim?”
“Only when I’m with you, Y/n.”
And the butterflies in your stomach took flight.
27 notes · View notes
jaehyunsbreadbasket · 2 years
Text
NCT as Tropes Pt.7
Jungwoo- Stuck Together Trope
Jungwoo didn't know them very well honestly, they were a friend of a friend. So of course he never expected to be forced to spend 3 days with them in their shared friend's cabin while a snow storm was taking place.
Somehow, they had both gotten to the cabin earlier than said friend and when news of the storm came out their friend called to cancel on them, "Too little too late," Jungwoo thought as their friend made excuse after excuse as to why they were late to their own cabin in the first place when they were expecting company.
After learning they were already there, their familiar told them where to find the spare key, and where all the food was and wished them well.
They sat around awkwardly at first, they had never spent time alone before and neither was sure what to say. But when Jungwoo spots a board game on a shelf in the living room he brings it over and they start to break the ice, getting to know each other little by little.
Throughout those 3 days, they stole glances at each other and stayed bundled up in blankets, drinking hot chocolate, watching movies, sharing laughs, and just talking.
When the snow had finally cleared and they were safe to go back home, a part of Jungwoo really didn't want to. He wanted to find a way to make this last and feared that going back to their normal meant not interacting outside of their mutual friend. But nevertheless, out of fear of making it awkward, he decided to not say anything and instead helped them clean up and packed his bags; letting his feelings linger.
And now, every time he sees them he wonders if that day will be the day he'll finally confess. Sadly, it never is.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
A/N: It's not winter where I live anymore; I wrote this several months ago lol
Check out the rest of the series: HERE 💘
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nctyping · 2 years
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[11:56 pm] you had seen him in the crowd, fogged lights bouncing off his leather coat that you only noticed because it was much too hot in that room to be wearing it. you were sweating through your own clothes, your hands losing their grip around your drumsticks and your hair plastered to your neck. it usually wasnt this crowded, but the months of thursday night gigs at this bar had paid off in at least some local recognition.
at least, thats what he told you. jungwoo, he said his name was, trailed shortly behind you after you stepped out for some fresh air post-performance. he slumped down against the brick wall of the bar to match your position with one of his knees pulled into his chest. your scalp scratched the coarse brick surface.
"im always down for some live music, especially around here," he said and leaned his head back to match yours, "and especially when ive heard so much about a certain drummer."
you hated yourself for blushing, even though he wasn't looking at you to see it. you scoffed instead, "is that what this is?"
jungwoo looked over at you, his face void of the obvious banter you were trying to conjure, "what?"
"this," you nudged his shoulder with yours, "are you seriously out here to flirt with me? maybe pick me up? woo me?"
you could see it on his face, too, the heat rising up his neck and creeping onto his cheekbones. his tongue darted out to moisten his lips resisting a smile.
"no way," he breathed a laugh, the most emotion you had seen his express since he sat down, "just out here for one of these."
he pulled out a palm sized cardboard box, crumpled on the sides from wrestling his hand for room in his pocket. from it he drew a cigarette and tucked it between his plumped and bitten lips.
he asked, "light me?"
"oh, i dont-," you patted your pockets, "i dont have one. i dont really smoke."
"fine," jungwoo rolled his eyes. he pulled out a second cigarette and pushed it, hesitantly, between your own lips. his thumb pulled gently on your chin before it struck the spark wheel of his own lighter,
"ill light yours, then."
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mooniconic · 2 years
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Chapter 5
CW: Smut (Minors skip this pls), Yuta and Jungwoo being assholes.
AN: We're finally here. Just a few more chapters left and this is done. If you started reading this, thank you for reading. :)
The next day you all met up at the office lobby so you guys could take the company van to the filming spot. Johnny was going to drive the van and he asked you to sit next to him, Ten looked at you knowingly, and you were confused but knowing Ten, he had a reason. It was an hour's drive from the office and you guys were listening to music. Kun was going over the script for the day; giving notes to everyone in the car. When the car stopped during traffic, Johnny’s hand gripped yours for a few seconds with a smile on his face. You tried to contain your grin and you shifted your focus to the car window; unbeknownst to you, the members of the team were also hiding their smiles.
Kun divided the team in half, one was in charge of the group interviews, and the other was the confessionals. This was a big project and you didn’t want to mess this up for anyone, before you got out of the car Johnny pulled you aside, “Avi” he says softly and for some reason it makes your tummy feel funny. “Yeah?” you ask just as softly, “If Yuta does anything..” He pauses “Just let me know if you need me okay? No matter how busy I might be just call me over.” Johnny says firmly but he’s gentle. “Okay” your face is unreadable but you add “thank you, Johnny.” and you offer him a smile. He smiles at you and lightly puts his arm on your shoulders as you both walk up to the front door.
Kun was helping Jisung and Jaemin set up the interview room for the solo interviews while you and Johnny were running the questions by the 127 managers. Chanyeol walks to you and asks if he could speak to you privately. You agreed and follow him to the hallway by the stairs.
“Avi, are you the one asking the questions during the interview?” he gets to the point.
“No, sir.”
“Okay good. I want you to not be around Yuta during this interview.” He says it with a hint of annoyance, at least that’s what you think it is.
“Um yes, I’ll try to shift with Johnny when it’s Yuta’s turn.” You mumble softly.
“I just don’t want him to pull something stupid like he almost did the other day.” He says with a sigh.
“I get it,” you say softly
“I’ll get back to my team, sir.”
You walk back to the recording studio located in the basement of the house 127 uses as their creative space, whatever that means. You were helping Ten set up the mic that your team was going to use for the confessionals, when Ten nudges you to look at who was coming down the recording studio, it was Yuta, he walks up to you and handed you a cup of coffee. “Here, I know you can't work without it.” He said with a small smile, and once you apprehensively took the cup from him, he walks back up to the stairs leaving you, Ten, and Jaemin a bit lost for words.
“Do you want coffee?” you offer the cup to Ten and he makes a sick face “I’m not drinking that.” you laugh and put the cup on top of the side table. Jaemin looks at you and then at the cup then back at you “Can I have that?” “Sure, Jaems you can have it.” which makes you and Ten giggle. You hear someone coming down the basement stairs again, it’s Hendery and Johnny. I'll be the one in charge of this team,” Hendery tries to say in his most confident voice but his face betrays him because he looks scared af. “Aye aye captain.” Ten teases him but quickly looks at Johnny “What are you doing here?” He raises an eyebrow. “I’m just giving Avi her coffee fix,” He hands you an iced americano “Uber eats.” He says knowing you would ask when he bought the coffee. You thank him which is now a thing with how often you thank him.
“Johnny. Can I talk to you?” You lead him inside the recording booth and you start telling him about what Chanyeol has said to you. “Has he tried anything so far?” he asks, concern washes his face, “A bit. He gave me coffee, but I gave it to Jaemin,” you say looking at Jaemin drinking the warm cup of coffee while he checks the main camera. “Nothing I can’t handle, but if it’s his solo interview I have to switch with you if that’s okay… I just don't want to be a bother.” Johnny holds your hand “You’re never a bother, Avi. never ever,” He emphasizes his words. “I’ll tell Kun so he won’t freak out just text me when it’s his turn, yeah?” He squeezes your hand and starts walking you both out of the booth, Ten gives you both a look and playfully says “oh my god just date already.” You look at him confused “huh?” You say and this earns a few giggles from the people in the room, you look down to your left hand and see that Johnny is still holding it, you blush and he slips his hand out of your own, for a split second you almost reach out and grabbed it back, but you remember that you were here for work… with your ex’s band. So you just give him a small smile and tell him to get back upstairs. ______________________________________________________________
The first interview has been okay, Winwin-Sicheng to his close friends, was insightful about the band’s dynamics. He revealed that Yuta and Jungwoo were the closest among all of them and how their band started in college when all of them were taking a vocalization elective, a class you knew well because Yuta was excited about learning how to sing. Winwin said that that’s where it all started for 127 and how they were inseparable ever since; Yuta being the glue of the band, automatically finding common ground among all of them. Everyone would smile whenever Winwin would reminisce about the band’s start because he would get excited and his eyes would light up, even when he was talking about the dingy bars they first played at, where just 1 person was cheering for them or the time they were booed off the stage by some rowdy dudes. He said all of those things made 127 determined to practice more and to write better songs.
Before you knew it, Winwin’s interview was over and you were all saying your thank yous, he shook your hand and whispered “thank you for helping us”, you smiled at him and said, “Thank you too.” Winwin was the nicest out of Yuta’s bandmates, he was the one who would often help out when you were the band’s first roadie. Winwin might be the person who has less to say but his actions would speak volumes.
You look at the list of the next person, and to your surprise, it was Jungwoo, the band’s keyboardist. He came up with the band’s name after getting inspiration from their vocal class. He’s civil with you but he’s friendly with the others, you pay it no mind you expected him to take Yuta’s side. He sat down at the interview chair while hair makeup touch up his already perfect face, Jungwoo might look like a literal fallen angel, but there are reasons why he’s here and not in heaven, the man has gotten into more fights than any other member. He’s always ready to defend his bandmates whether that makes him look bad as long as his band is intact.
Ten was reading the questions as you help with sound. “What made you want to be part of 127?”
Jungwoo mulls the questions for a few seconds “Yuta.” He smiles and looks at the camera “he convinced all of us that we were bound for something greater. He was supportive of all of us.”
“Can you tell us about how you started? Despite 127’s fame most of your start has not been talked about.” Ten phrases the question well.
Jungwoo basically repeats what Winwin said about meeting at vocal classes and how Yuta roped them into hanging out that one time. Jungwoo remembers just hanging out at Yuta’s dorm room since he’s the only one with a roommate who pledged in a frat and has been living by himself. They bonded over Fifa and have the same taste in movies. Yuta helped out Jungwoo pick out good professors for his piano majors and Mark helped Yuta with his composition classes. They were a bunch of music majors bonding over random shit until Yuta drunkenly asked them to form a band together, everyone either tipsy or drunk from a random house party that Avi’s friend threw, they agreed. They pushed Yuta to be the frontman as he writes lyrics best out of the group and to be fair the only one with confidence to stand in front of a crowd with only a mic stand shielding him from the audience’s eyes.
After Jungwoo reminisces about their group’s roots and how things weren't glamorous at the beginning and how Haechan pranks them by slightly playing the drums at a faster pace to keep them on their toes sometimes. He talks about the fights they had about arrangements, new songs, and tour schedules.
“Tour really brings out the best and worst in us. We’re all cool being together every day, but if one of us is in a bad mood it affects us all.” Jungwoo says exasperatedly but he’s playful. Teasing. Trying to see if you’re going to react. “Yuta was incredibly moody when on the road,” he chuckles. “He would miss his girlfriend, oh ex-girlfriend. Like he’ll be upset if he won’t hear from her during the day. Sometimes it would affect our performances too.”
“Ex-girlfriend?” Ten says tentatively.
“Yeah. I guess that secret is out of the bag,” Jungwoo says with a chuckle.
“Yuta dated this girl even before we were 127. She helped us in the start like with our bar gigs and stuff. She helped out with our logistics and stuff before we got signed and most of our songs are about her. Yuta was so in love with her,” Jungwoo says without missing a beat. He’s aware you’ve gotten red, but he continues.
“He’d like miss practice just to see her, one time he almost left tour just so he could be with her. It definitely caused a fight,” he says lightheartedly but there was a hint of venom in his words.
Ten shifts uncomfortably but continues to the next question “You’ve mentioned that most of the band’s songs were about her? How’s the voting process for songs to be written and included in the album?”
Jungwoo thinks about the question for a minute before he answers “Well when one of us has a demo for a song then we send it in the group chat then we talk about it in person in our meetings, we sometimes tend to argue why a certain song should be on an album or why we should make a new one then when everyone is like okay with it then we talk to management.” he says earnestly. “We all got to agree on the songs first, usually Yuta convinces us with the songs he writes haha when you interview him, you’ll find out how smooth of a talker he really is,” Jungwoo smiles.
“Is there a song you really like from your discography?” Ten asks.
“Yeah, it’s Magnets. That song got us a lot of love and mostly coz the meaning of the song is something all of us relate to. We were all going into something unknown with each other.”
“But Yuta wrote it about falling in love. You get it with someone who sparks a change in you, someone you think is going to be with you through this unlearning or learning depending on like where you’re coming from. You change to be with the person who inspired this change but when that relationship fails, you can’t return to the person you once were. That kind of love will change you and it can make you better or worse, you know? But then there’s still a bond that can’t be broken. Something will always pull you back together just like magnets, that love will somehow like shit I don't know? find a way to bring you both back? A relationship that changes both people in it? That's something that never goes away because you both fall in and for the most part you want to come out of the other end with each other even if you’re both different… even when you hate each other at the other side.” He said with a sigh at the end.
“For me? It was going all-in with the band, I wasn't sure if we were going to be successful but I wanted to try with those boneheads. They’re people who I wanted to like be better with, I’ve never been with a group of guys that were supportive of each other. So I want to be with them until the end,” Jungwoo smiles at that.
“You know he wrote this about his ex? His parents thought she influenced him in changing his major and like leaving their dreams of him being a piano master or something. They really thought of her as the devil…”
Before Ten asks to elaborate Jungwoo speaks again “She was the devil as she was the reason why we almost broke up. It was the worst but we got through it, just Magnets never letting go of that bond,” he says with resolution.
You were quiet after Jungwoo looked at you pointedly. There was a slight smirk on his lips as you looked at the floor, trying to ignore the eyes of the people around you. You feel a presence next to you and when you look up it was him, the man who left you, the man who had a silver tongue who had everyone fooled and had you second-guessing your thoughts. You look at him but he ignores you and waits till Jungwoo reaches him to give him a high five, Jungwoo barely looks at you as his eyes are on Yuta giving him a signal that he said what they planned to say. Yuta chuckles and taps Jungwoo’s shoulder to tell the younger man to head up to the other set, “You didn’t drink the coffee I gave you?” he says softly a playful tone to match the amused look he has on his face. “No,” you say with a flat tone. “You always throw away my love, Avi,” he smirks at you, you know he’s playing you right now because he knows you wouldn’t want to cause a scene, some things never change. Before you could answer him he heads back up the stairs “Mark and I exchanged timeslots so it’s his turn.”
You close your mouth and ignore the pity in the eyes of your workmates, “Do you need me to alter the questions for Mark?” you ask Hendery and for a second he forgets that he was the director of this group “y-yeah, just hand them over, Avi.” The interview went well, Mark was always the excited one when it came to interviews and he breezed through the questions even the ones that came with their songs’ subject matter, but you barely register his words. Jungwoo’s words were still ringing in your ears “She was the devil as she was the reason why we almost broke up.” Yuta never talked about his problems in the band, even if you asked a million times. You never demanded him to prioritize you first, you were so confused and angry as you were once again lied to and lied about by Yuta. You snap out when Mark is standing in front of you holding his hand out to you.
You only stare at him as he asks you “Avi? You okay, bruh?” you shake your head a little and answer “yeah. Nice interview, thank you.” Mark chuckles “We’re not done, dude! The camera’s out of batteries.” you can only nod your head.
His face fills with concern “You okay?” he asks softly. “Yeah, I’m fine, Mark. you should get your makeup touched up.” You say with a gentle tone. You might feel like a fire is burning inside your head but you’re not going to direct that to Mark, the guy who would ask you for your side of things when he knew you were fighting with Yuta, the guy who would always congratulate you when you got a new job, the guy who even after your relationship with Yuta still continued being a friend randomly texting you memes just to check if you were still alive.
You were tuning out the interview again but your ears perked up when Ten brings up what Jungwoo has said about 127 breaking up. Mark gets a bit uncomfortable he starts stuttering a bit but he clears his throat
“dude, Jungwoo he just.. No, but like.. Okay. we weren’t breaking up like that. We were deciding if we wanted to go on hiatus or like explore solo projects. We were all just tired you know? We finished two world tours then we got an album coming up then some personal stuff so it was only like a conversation that we had.” Mark looks relieved that he got that out without spilling some things, but Ten being good at his job or maybe he just likes being nosy follows up with “Jungwoo said Yuta’s ex was the reason you guys were having that conversation.”
“Whaaat? Dude, no! Well not exactly. Yuta wanted to spend time with her because they were still together at that time and then Haechan like wanted to sing more? So we were thinking of having like solos for a while…” he stops as Chanyeol signals him to stop talking from the staircase. Everyone looks at Chanyeol as if daring him to stop the interview, but he doesn't as he makes his way next to Baekhyun. “Yeah, it’s just that we all wanted a break to spend time with loved ones and to explore solo opportunities. Haechan has like some sick duos he wanted to do with me. It’s something we’re working on lately we finally got like the time to lay down the track while on tour so hopefully, after this new album we get to work on it more.” Mark ends with a small smile, his dimples showing.
You help pack up the van silently to avoid your teammates' eyes; you don't want them to ask how things went today. Tomorrow is another day, it was Yuta’s turn for the solo interview even if you weren’t allowed to be in the same room as him during filming you know he was going to say something that would make you feel hurt as if he was punishing you. What he and Jungwoo pulled today was draining you, Yuta knew you hated being the reason for disagreements that's why you didn't have boundaries during your relationship, you hated confrontation that’s why you held on to Yuta for so long. You remember the time you’ve had enough but you kept your mouth shut. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ “I only see you,” Yuta says to you, his forehead pressed to yours. His thrusts were still in a steady rhythm and you felt like your skin was on fire. You look at him and tears are falling from your eyes, you’re not exactly sure if it’s from pleasure or the pain you feel in your chest. Your bodies were so close to each other but you never felt so far away from him; Today was your anniversary and Yuta promised to be with you but he canceled at the last minute because of a work thing, a song needed to be rerecorded and he can't leave work. It’s been this way lately, Yuta getting sucked into work and barely talking to you and you feel like shit for feeling neglected, but you let him anyway because this was for the band and the band comes first now that they’ve made it. Baekhyun asked you to come to the studio, something about Yuta wanting you to be there but then you saw him playfully flirting with the studio intern and barely paying you any attention, it made you feel like background noise. His band members barely talk to you as they were busy too, you felt like a dog waiting for him. You chose Yuta and this life it’s your fault why you only have him and not anyone else. “Avi.” He says your name to bring you back and he’s pushing harder into you, it was a brutal pace and he’s still not satisfied.
“Avi, I only see you. It’s only you.” he snakes his hand down to rub your clit, increasing your pleasure but this was torture for you, you wanted out.
“Yuta please.”
“Please what Avi? What do you want me to do?”
‘I can’t.” you manage to squeak. It was too much, his attention, his work, his life; you were feeling so overwhelmed. You don’t know yourself anymore, you don’t remember who you were before Yuta and that is making you feel suffocated. “Just give it to me, baby. You’re so close.” Yuta knew your body inside and out, he knew what every hitched breath meant; it was like you were an extension of his body. He bit the sensitive spot on your neck and you were done, you had cum so hard you barely register him finishing. When he pulls out of you, he kisses you long and hard; his teeth biting your lips, and says “I love you, Avi. I’m yours as you are mine.” He sleeps on his side, his face turned away from you, and you thank God that he was turned away because you hope he doesn’t see that the tears are still there. He doesn’t get it; that you don't want to be his anymore, you want to be yourself again-you wanted to be free. You cry yourself to sleep, wishing you knew how to let go of him without breaking your heart.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------ You snap back to the present when Jaemin nudges you to sit at the front since Johnny was driving again. “Oh” was all you mutter but you head to the passenger seat and buckle yourself in. You barely said a word the whole ride back to the office, Ten was just giving a recap of what happened but he leaves the parts about you, he’s a nosy guy but he’s not a bitch. Johnny senses something is wrong so when you were both finished reporting back to Kun he asks you if you want to get dinner, you decline saying you wanted to rest and he drops it and gives you your space.
“Avi,” he says before you head out of the building.
“Yeah?”
“I just wanted you to know that you’re doing great. You’re doing a good job, and..”
“And?” you say with a tired smile.
“I’m proud of you,” he says, successfully stopping the words that wanted to come out of his mouth. You give him the tightest hug you could muster “thank you, Johnny. Thank you for believing I could do it. I'm proud of you too.”
“Never doubted you, Avi Maria.”
As you head out to the bus stop Johnny thinks of the words that almost slipped out, “I love you, Avery.”
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lovelywooz · 2 years
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New spicy Woo post is coming up soon !!
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gureumcityrecs · 2 years
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kim jungwoo
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